Prologue

“Problema ko? Ikaw! Nakakahiya ka! Satingin mo ba mahal kita? Nakakasawa ka! Masiyado kang immature! Sawang sawa na ako sayo! Sa totoo nga niyan gusto ko lang naman makipag try na makipag-sex sayo eh… Pero tangina nakakasawa ka!”

sigaw niya sakin….

I felt my body trembled on his words… I can’t believe it… I thought we made love… I thought it’s not just lust… Pero ano ’to? Puta ang sakit…

“No… Clint… No! You’re just kidding, right? Please… Clint… Wag mong sasabihin ’yon..”

He cutted me….

“Maghiwalay na tayo….”

He said… Para bang nabingi ako… Para bang unti-unti ng dinudurog ang puso ko….

Paano nga ba kami umabot sa ganito?

Paano na ang mga pangako na binitawan niya?

Christian Anoceto as Clint Montenegro

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/1f6487e6cf3c6efb13d37c953b7f9dbe53147836/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f485f324b7959342d5356587a6b513d3d2d3932323435303835352e313634643863383934386261336463633733343938383631353634332e6a7067)

Note: Photos are not mine.

Warning: Before you read this story, you must know to yourself that this story is intended for entertainment. A story of a transwoman and Man. One thing is for sure, love must not have any boundaries.

Enjoy Reading!

TB-1

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday my dearest Kaye.” My Mom and Dad sing along together with a smile on their lips. It was my thirteenth Birthday. I wore a blue dress, I am like a mini-Cinderella. I’m just happy, my parents’ love are all enough for me. They are my life.

“Thanks Mom and Dad!” I said and give them a tight hug. The smile on my face won’t vanished. I really love my parents. My classmates are here and even Bell is here. I’m a happy kiddo. I am a jolly person.

Everything was perfect. My family is complete. We’re one of the wealthiest clan in the Philippines. I couldn’t ask for more. God’s really good on our Family. I woke up everyday with a smile attached on my lips. But I guess nothing lasts forever, I guess…

It was Saturday in the afternoon…

When I enter the house. I went up through the stairs that I mastered all my life, I walk happily, I walk with a smile attached on my lips. After I dressed up, I went downstairs to find my mom and dad.

“Mom! Dad! I’m home.” I shout. It was three in the afternoon and I just got home from my saturday trainings and Manong karding drove the car home. The house seems at peace. The maids are in the kitchen because it’s their siesta time. I don’t want to disturb them because I know they are all tired because of the house chores.

I went to my dad’s office and expecting them to be there since sabado ngayon. Nakalugay lang ang hanggang balikat na buhok ko. Dahan dahan kong binuksan ang pintuan and to my surprise ay nasa loob sila ngunit they are fighting, mom and dad, they are fighting with each other… This is my first time seeing them fighting with each other and it makes my heart tear in to pieces. God! What’s happening?

“No! Rodrigo! It’s just so unfair! Paano kami? Ha? Paano kami ng anak mo!” sigaw ni mom kay dad. Umaagos na ang luha sa mga mata nina Mom at Dad, mukhang kanina pa sila nagtatalo, hindi ko alam kung ano ang pinagtatalunan nila pero umagos na din pala ang mga luha sa mata ko.

“Matagal na nating napag-usapan ’to! Simula’t sapul pa lang alam mo na nainipit lamang ako ng ama mo!” Halos namumula na sa galit si Daddy. Nilapitan siya ni mom at sinampal. “Wala kang utang na loob! Rodrigo! Kung hindi ng dahil kay papa! Wala kang maipagmamalaki ngayon!”

Nakita ko ang pagpipigil si Dad kay Mom. “Carla! Alam mo ’yan! Na lahat ng ’to mga magulang lang natin ang may gusto! Pirmahan mo na yung annulment! Tangina naman oh!” Sigaw niya pabalik kay Mommy.

“No! I won’t! Hindi ko kayo hahayang mag kasama ng putang inang kabit mo!” akmang sasampalin ni Dad si mom ngunit hindi ko na naiwasan na sumigaw. “No! Don’t hurt my mom, Dad! Bad ka!” I shout to my dad. Shock plastered in to his face when he saw me. I run towards my mom and hugged her while I’m crying.

“Go back to your room Kaye! You shouldn’t interfere with us!” My dad said. I’m scared. I’m really scared.

“Nanay Nely, please pakuha naman si Louis dito…” My mom said while crying. Seeing her crying makes my heart break in to pieces. Pumasok naman ang matanda at sapilitan akong hinila pahiwalay kay mommy at inakyat ako sa kwarto habang umiiyak.

“Kaye, Iha, tumahan ka na at magkakaayos din ang mommy at daddy mo. Normal lang sa mag-asawa ang mag-away.” malambing na saad sa akin ni Nanay Nely.

Habang umiiyak ay hindi ko namalayan na ginapo na pala ako ng antok. Nakatulog ako ng mahimbing sa higaan ko. Pag kagising ko ay gabi na. “Mom! Dad!” I called kahit na kakabangon ko lang. Lumabas ako ng kwarto ko pagkababa ko ng hagdanan ay nagulat ako ng umiiyak na si Nanay Nely ang sumalubong sa’kin. Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit habang humiiyak siya. Nakita ko naman ang mga pulis na kinakausap si Daddy. “Dad!” I called him pero nagulat ako ng makita kong umiiyak din siya.

“Dad!” Lumapit ako sa kaniya at niyakap siya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit umiiyak sila. “Dad, where’s mom? Bakit may mga pulis?” Inosenteng tanong ko dito.

“Nay pakiakyat muna si Louis sa taas. Alas-dose pa lang ng gabi anak… Matulog ka muna ulit.. “ mababang boses na saad ni Dad.

“Sige po sir, halika na Kaye, akyat muna ikaw.” Saad ni Nanay pero umiiyak pa din siya. Malungkot ang mga mata niyang tumingin sa’kin na tila ba nakikisimpatya siya. Pilit kong inalam kung nasaan si Mommy ngunit sabi niya bukas ay uuwi din ’to kaya matulog na din ako.

Kinabukasan ay nagtungo kami sa isang Hospital kasama si Tita Delia ang kapatid ni mom kasama si Bell na pinsan ko. “Tita ba’t po tayo nandito? Nandito po ba si mom? ’Di ba may mga sakit lang ang nandito? May sakit ba ang mommy ko? Tutulungan ko na lang siya gumaling kaagad tita… Tulungan mo ako Bell ahh.” Nakangiting saad ko ngunit halos mangiyak na si Tita Delia ng tumingin siya sa’kin.

Pumasok kami sa isang kwarto at pinagsuot kami ng mga safety precautions sa katawan pero hindi ko naman alam kung bakit. “Bell.. Excited na akong makita si Mommy…” Saad ko. Ngumiti lang sa akin si Bell pero para bang malungkot din yung mata niya. May hinuha na ako sa mga nangyayari ngunit ayaw ko ’yong paniwalaan.

Pagkapasok namin ay nakita ko si Dad. Isang masamang titig naman ang binigay ni Tita Delia kay Daddy.

A tear escaped from my eyes as I look to my Mom with different apparatus that connects to her body that sustains her life. “Mom! Mom! Mom! Gising mommy! Mommy!” patakbong sigaw ko at maingat na ginalaw si mommy para magising. But her eyes are asleep. “Mom! Wake up, please!” I burst in to tears as I see my mommy laying on the bed with different apparatus.

“Dad, mom is okay right? Dad tell mom na hindi na kayo mag-aaway para gumising na siya, Dad. Please…” I reach my Dad but I see sadness and sorrow from his eyes. Patuloy lang ako sa pagiyak at niyakap ako ni Bell at ni tita Delia ng mahigpit.

Lumipas ang mga araw, linggo, buwan at taon ngunit hindi pa din nagising ang mommy. Tatlong taon. I became aloof with my Dad dahil ang huli kong naalala ay nag-away sila. Sinisisi ko si Daddy sa nangyari dahil kung hindi niya inaway ang mommy ay hindi siya maaksidente.

Summer, May 15

“Mom, today is your daughter’s 16th birthday… Mom… I wanted you to give me my 16th Birthday gift… Please mom… Just this one… “ I cried and sobbed silently.

“Mom… Please… Wake up.” Ayokong gumawa ng malakas na iyak dahil sabi nila kapag ang tao ay nasa coma, naririnig pa din nila yung nasa paligid nila.

“Mom, busy si Dad dahil sa negosyo pero I know that he still worries for you.” I lied.

Am I selfish? Am I selfish for waiting for my own Mom? Am I?

“Ma, alam mo ba Senior High School na ako. I’m not home schooled anymore mom..I’ll be with Bell na…” Nakangiting saad ko at pinunasan ang mga luhang umaagos sa mga mata ko.

Since then I was home schooled. I am spoiled with everything by my ‘father’. I live on my supposedly ‘home’. But I guess that ‘home’ was my prison cell. My dad bought me bags, shoes and dresses but my anger towards him won’t subside lalo na ngayon… Tangina!

Lagi kong pinupuntahan ang mommy ko whenever I feel stress and exhausted about life.

Habang nakaupo ako sa isa sa mga bench sa labas ng Hospital ay hindi ko namalayan na lumalandas na pala ang mga luha sa mata ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa murang edad nararansan ko na ’to. I’m just so fucking tired and lifeless.

“Psst. Miss… Panyo… Ang ganda mo pa naman kaso ba’t parang wala kang dibdib?” Nagulat ako ng may biglang isang lalaki na sumulpot kung saan. Nakasuot siya ng short na hanggang tuhod niya. Mapupungay ang mga singkit niyang mga mata at matangos na ilong pero Moreno ang kulay niya. Hanggang balikat lang yata ako ne’to eh. Mga nasa parehas na edad siguro kami.

“Wag ka ng umiyak, pumapanget ka miss eh.” saad niya. Ngayon na lang ulit ako Nakipag-usap sa iba dahil bilang na lang sa daliri ang nakakasalamuha ko. He’s cute actually. Sapilitan niyang nilagay ang panyo sa akin. “Tanggapin mo na, tumutulo na yung uhog mo oh. Dalaga ka na eh.” saad ng lalaki sa’kin halata na ang pagbibinata ng boses niya at medyo may kalakihan na ang katawan niya kumpara sa petite kong katawa.

Nagmamadali ko namang pinunasan ang sinasabi niyang uhog ko ngunit wala naman. Natawa naman siya dahil sa pagmamadali ko. Kaya sinimangutan ko siya. Humarap siya sa kinauupuan namin kaya kitang-kita ko ang kabilang bahagi ng mukha niya. Ang gwapo niya! Shet! Bata pa ako! Char.

“Baka matunaw iyan…” Biglaang saad niya kaya agad akong umiwas at namula ang mukha ko. “Ako nga pala si Clint… Ikaw sino ka? Babae ka ba? “ pagpapakilala niya. Hindi ko alam pero napangiti ako sa kaniya.

“Oh di ba! Ang ganda mo pag nakangiti ka!” He said. At ramdam ko ang pamumula ng mukha ko. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya.

“Ako si Kaye… Lalaki ako… Pero mas gusto ko maging babae…” Saad ko at natawa naman ako dahil sa dinugtong ko. Totoo naman eh… Lalaki ako… Dati..

“Seryoso? Kaya pala flat chested ka eh…” Saad niya. Masyado siyang masayahin. Para bang wala siyang pake kung babae o lalaki ako eh.

“Maganda ka naman eh…” Saad niya at sa hindi ko malamang dahilan ay natawa ako bigla.

“Naluhaan ko na ’tong panyo mo… Sorry.” nahihiyang saad ko.

“Na’ko okay lang ’yan, Louis ganda…” nakangiting saad niya at napangiti na din ako.

“Ba’t ka ba umiiyak? Dapat lagi kang nakangiti para maganda ka lagi…” saad niya

Naalala ko naman ang mommy ko.

“Yung mommy ko, tatlong taon na siyang natutulog…” Saad ko. Mukhang naintindihan naman niya ang gusto kong sabihin kaya tumango lang siya. “Alam mo, yung papa ko nandiyan din… Natutulog din… Pero nanininiwala ako nagigising din sila. Gigising din yung mommy mo, tiwala lang, ganda.” malambing na saad niya. Parang kinikiliti naman ako ng dahil sa sinabi niya. Sana nga.

“Hindi ka ba naiilang kahit na ganito ako?” I said kadalasan kasi iniiwasan ako lalo na ng mga lalake kong kaibigan.

“Ha? Sa ganda mong ’yan. Alam mo maganda ka basta ngumiti ka lang lagi ah.” saad niya.

“Alam mo…” naputol ang sasabihin niya ng tumunog ang teleponong nasa bulsa niya. May kinausap siya sandali at tumingin ulit sa akin at nagpaalam na kailangan niya ng umalis.

“Paano ba ’yan, ganda… Kita ulit tayo? Penge ng number mo…” saad niya. Wow! Real quick! Ako naman si Ganda, bigay naman ng number ko.

Kinuha ko naman ang cell phone niya at tinipa ang numero ng cellphone ko. Matapos no’n ay nagpaalam na siya at pinangakong maguusap daw kami. Kinilig ako konti! Ha

Habang pabalik kung nasaan ang kwarto ng aking mommy. Napansin ko na nagkakagulo sa labas ng kwarto niya. Nakita ko si Tita Delia at sinunggaban naman ako ng yakap ni Bell. Wala si Daddy dito..

“Anong nangyayari?” nagtatakang tanong ko kay Bell habang lumuluha pa din siya. “Anong nangyayari?” natatarantang ulit ko kay Bell. Halata ang takot sa mga mata niya. “Si tita, Kaye…” saad niya lumandas ang luha sa aking mga mata ng dahil sa nangyayari. Lumalabas ang mga nurses mula sa kwarto niya at tila ba nagmamadali sila.

“Tita… Okay lang si mommy, right?” I asked at siya naman ang yumakap sa’kin. Tumunog ang cellphone niya at nakita ko ang pangalan ni dad doon.

“Rodrigo! Ang kapatid ko! Napaka walang kwenta mo! Inuuna mo pa yang babae mo! “ umiiyak na saad ni tita at napaiyak na din ako.

“Ano? Manganganak na ’yan? Mga putang ina ninyo! Magbabayad ka! Siguraduhin mo lang na hindi maagrabyado ang kapatid at pamangkin ko. Gago ka!” nangagalaiti na saad ni tita Delia kay Daddy at binaba na ’to.

Bakit? Bakit nangyayari sa’min ’to! Wag naman po ang Mommy ko! Siya na lang ang mero’n ako. Please… Wag siya….

Lumabas ang doctor sa Kwarto kung nasaan ang mommy…

“Mrs. Santos, wala na po ang kapatid niyo.. “ he said at puno ng simpatya siyang tumingin sakin. Tila ba nakalimutan kong huminga… Bakit? Bakit? Inuna pa ni Daddy ang kabit niya kesa sa Mommy ko? Tangina. Wala na ang mommy ko?

“Doc! No! No! Buhay siya! Gawin niyo ang lahat! Babayaran ko kayo!” Histerikal na saad ko at halos lumuhod na ako sa pagmamakaawa sa kaniya.

Tila nagdilim ang buong paligid ko at hindi ko na alam ang sumunod na nangyari sa’kin.

Lahat ay lilisan. Alam ko ’yon! Tang ina! Hinanda ko na yung sarili ko sa bagay na ’yon pero tangina lang! Sobrang sakit! Para gusto ko ng umayaw. Masama ba ’yon? Hiniling ko lang naman na maging buo kami! Pero ano? Tangina!

Sobrang sakit! Parang araw-araw sinaksak yung puso ko. Eto na ba ’yon? Pagod na ba ang mama ko? Pagod na ba siya? Hindi ko alam pero ang sakit. Sobrang sakit.

Nagising ako isang araw, kung inaakala niyong bangungot ko lang ’yon hindi. Hindi! Dahil wala na ang mama ko! Wala na siya! May Diyos ba? Hindi ko na alam. Parang unti-unti ng nagiging bato yung puso ko.

Kasabay ng paglisan ng Mommy ko ang panganganak ng kabit ni Daddy, Si Melissa. Gusto kong magwala! Nasaan siya noong Kailangan namin siya ni Mommy? Wala!

Punong-puno ng galit ang puso ko pero hindi ko na alam kung paano ko ’to ipapakita. Pagod na pagod na akong magalit at maglabas ng emosyon. Pagod na ako!

Huling sulyap sa kabaong ng mommy ko at ibinigay ko na ang mga pamamaalam ko. Habang sinasabi ko ang mga salita ay nakikita ko ang simpatya sa mga mata nila. Simula ng magising ako ay hindi na ako umiyak pa. Para bang naging bato na yung pagkatao ko. Isang linggo akong hindi nakatulog at kumain ng maayos.

Siguro ganito na ako buong buhay ko… Lifeless and emotionless. Eto ba ang gusto nila? Ibibigay ko!

Mahigpit na yakap ang binigay sa’kin ni Tita Delia at Bell…. My mother is gone…. Forever gone…

TB-2

Months had passed since my mother left me,  alone.  I don’t know when and where to start.  I just live with the flow of the World.  I bacame far different from the Kaye Louis before. I am Kaye but the emotionless one.  I’m just physically and mentally drained. Nakakapagod mabuhay!

I’m just sixteen for Pete’s sake! Para akong inabandona ng mundo ng mag-isa.  Kahit nandiyan pa ang Daddy ko parang wala naman siya dahil may iba na siyang pamilya. Kahit na anong pilit kong bumangon araw-araw ay parang hindi ko na magawa. Hinahayaan ko na lang ang hangin kung saan ako nito dadalhin.

I look on the Vanity Mirror inside my room.  I stare on my Long black Jet hair, ang dating masisigla kong mata ay nawala na,  napalitan ng mga malamig at walang buhay na mata.  Kahit na lalaki pa din ako sa paningin ng iba,  alam ko sa puso at isip ko na babae,  na gusto kong maging babae.

Ang mahabang buhok ko pa lang ang nagpapatunay na babae ako.  Pinagmasadan ko ang mukha ko na kamukhang-kamukha ng babaeng nagsilang sa akin sa mundo.  If it weren’t my mother,  for sure hindi ako magiging ganito kaganda ngayon! I know!  I’m pretty!

I put my make up, I perfectly arched my eye brows. On flick kung on flick! Parang laging sasabak sa tarayan.  Ayoko lang magmukhang mahina, sawa na akong maging mahina.  Sa pagkawala ng mama ko marami akong natutunan. Isa na do’n ang huwag basta bastang magtiwala sa mga lalaki.  Hindi lahat ng maamong mukha ay mabango ang ugali.  Parang yung tatay ko?  In fact! Puta!  Kakamatay pa lang ng nanay ko nakabuntis na! Tanginang kabit ’yan.

To tell you frankly,  I live with them! Para kong pinagsisiksikan ang sarili ko sa pamilya ng tatay ko,  para sa’kin. Mabait siya pero gago siya! Kabit siya ng tatay ko eh.  Alam niyo yung masakit?  Kinasal lang naman sila matapos mamatay ng mom ko.  Putangina! At ang mas malupet pa sa ginawa nila ay sa bahay pa namin sila tumira.  I can’t argue with my Dad, bahay niya din ’to. 

Tita Delia,  my mother’s sister, is fuming in anger noong nalaman niyang dito pinatira ni Dad ang bagong pamilya niya. Ayaw niya daw akong iwan mag-isa.  Fuck!  I don’t need him! Pero wala akong magawa, daddy ko pa din siya.  Mellisa, my dad’s mistress, Is a good woman ang alam ko ay isa siyang sikat na designer sa Paris.  Well,  I don’t care! And I don’t give a damn!

Kahit kailan ay hindi ko ituturing na parte ng pamilya ang kabit niya,  she may be my father’s wife but she’s not my mother!  She’s a flirty bitch! Bitvhes!

Matapos kong maayos ang sarili ko ay bumaba na ako.  This week would be my last week in here. Hindi naman ako aalis but I would be going to school everyday starting next week. I’m now a SHS student.

Bumalik lang ako sa reyalidad ng kumatok na ang maid namin sa bahay. “Ma’am Kaye,  kakain na daw po sabi ng Daddy niyo..” saad ng katulong sa kabilang bahagi ng pinto. Hindi ko na siya sinagot bagkus ay binuksan ko ang pinto kung nasaan siya. 

“Ay!  Butiki!” nagulat na saad niya.  Tinaasan ko naman siya ng kilay.

“Sinong butiki?” malamig na saad ko.  Naramdaman ko naman ang panginginig ng tuhod niya at kaagad naman siyang yumuko at humingi ng tawad.

Nilagpasan ko na lang siya at naglakad na pababa ng grand staircase namin sa mansion na ’to.  Kabisadong kabisado ko na ang bawat baitang. I wore my short short and my white blouse.

Boses ni Dad at ng kabit niya na nag-uusap sa mesa. Nasa gitnang bahagi si Daddy at nasa kanan naman ni’to si Melissa.  Nasa baby chair naman ang anak nilang tatlong gulang pa lang na inosenteng nakatingin sa’kin. Tinaasan ko naman ’to ng kilay.  Nakita ni Dad ang pagtaas ng kilay ko ngunit wala akong pake. Pumwesto na ako sa upuan na nakalaan para sa’kin at hindi na inantay pa sila.

Habang kumakain ay may kung ano-anong bagay ang nga pinag-uusapan nila. “Kaye… Kaye…” pukaw sa’kin ni Dad. Walang emosyon ko naman siyang tinignan.

“Mag start na ang klase mo.  I enrolled you sa school ng pinsan mo.  Sa Vertiz University.” Saad niya.  Hindi ko siya pinansin at pinagpatuloy lang ang pagkain ko.  Napailing na lang siya. Si Melissa naman ay nakangiti lang nakatingin sa’kin. Plastic!

Sa pagkakaalam ko ang Vertiz University ang isa sa mga sikat na paraalan para sa mga Elite na anak ng mga sikat na Businessman, Architect, Engineer at iba pang mayayamang personalidad. But I don’t care!  Ulit!

Matapos kong kumain ay walang sabi-sabi na umalis ako sa upuan ko.  Ganito lang palagi,  hindi ko lang sila pinapansin at hinahayaan ko lang sila. My dad didn’t change the interior and exterior of our house,  somehow I’m thankful for that. Simula noong nilibing ang Mommy ko I haven’t gone away from our home,  sa loob ng dalawang buwan ko ay nasa bahay lang ako, I haven’t open my social media accounts yet dahil alam kong sumabog ang balita ang pagkamatay ng mommy ko.

Ng makaakyat ako ng kwarto ay kinuha ko ang Cellphone ko.  I haven’t abled to open it simula noong mawala si Mommy.  I guess kailangan kong magpalit ng phone ko,  I wanna keep this.  Si mommy ang bumili ng phone ko na ’to three years ago bago siya maaksidente. I won’t cry!  I don’t need to cry anymore! Isa sa mga prinsipyo na pinanghahawakan ko ay ang huwag ipakita sa iba ang luha ko. Kahit kanino at kahit kailan. Ayokong may makakakitang mahina ako. I wanted to be strong, ayoko ng kaawaan.

As I look on my phone,  I argued with myself kung bubuksan ko ba ’to o hindi.  But in the end I decided to open it.  As I turned on my phone,  messages started to pop out, a lot of messages. Nasa isang daan siguro ang mensahe na natanggap ko.  Karamihan ay mula sa mga classmates ko bago pa ako mag ma-home schooled.

But an unknown number caught my attention. Half of the messages came from that number.  Para bang araw-araw ay nagsesend siya ng message sa’kin. I remember may lalaki pa la akong binigyan ng number noon sa Hospital. Kung titingnan halos dalawang buwan niya akong tinetect but I haven’t reply any text yet.  Mero’n din siyang nga tawag na hindi ko nasagot dahil nga hindi nakabukas yung phone ko.

Isang buwan na ang nakakalipas ng huling mag message siya. Karamihan sa tect niya ay mga…

“Hello! This is Clint…”

“Goodmorning… Pretty!”

“Busy, ganda?”

“Ganda…”

“Ganda…  Kamusta na?”

Paulit-ulit lang na mga mensahe niya sa nakalipas na buwan…  But he suddenly stop sending messages after two months.  Should I reply? I thought.  But I chose not to.  Wala pa ako sa mood. Pero I feel happy… Somehow. Knowing someone na kahit kakakilala pa lang namin.  I feel a connection with him… But I know I can’t trust him… My walls would be in danger.

Habang hawak ko ang cellphone ko ay nag ring ’to. Nakita ko naman ang pangalan ni Bell.  Kaya agad ko naman ’tong sinagot.

“Wahhh!  Bess!  Mabuti naman at binuhay mo na ’yang phone mo! I’m just trying my luck ’no!  Mabuti na lang at sakto ag tawag ko!” sge said. Bell is really annoying sometimes, medyo sumakit yung tenga ko sa lakas ng boses niya.  Bell knows what I’ve been through for the past three years kaya malaki ang pasasalamat ko sa kaniya na tinitiis niya yung pagbabago ng ugali ko gano’n na din kay Tita Delia. They know that I’m devastated for my lost.

“Napatawag ka?” I asked. I sounded cold but I know she knows that I love hearing her voice. She’s my bestfriend after all.

“Well,  since magpapasuka na next month.  I’m hoping na mag Mall tayo this coming weekend.  You know!  Boy hunting!” natatawang saad niya.  I know she just wanted me to smile and be happy. But I can’t find it on my heart yet…

“Please… For your loving Bestfriend… Bryan can’t go with me eh.. You know… Wala siyang alam sa girls stuffs…” She said.  Bryan is her boyfriend. Sa pagkakaalam ko isa siya sa nga classmate namin ni Bell noong bago ako mahome schooled.

“Okay…” I answered. Isang tili naman ang sinagot niya at kaagad ko naman ’yong nilayo sa tenga ko.  Bell can damage an ear drum for Pete’s sake!

“See yahh!  Bess!” she said happily. Tumagal ng halos madaling araw ang tawagan namin.  Well,  ngayon na lang naman kami nag-usap ng matagal. She would maintain her jolly personality para sa’kin. We talked about a lot of things at napagusapan din naman ang Venitez University. That school,  I’m just hoping na walang sisira ng SHS life ko. Napagusapan din namin ang tungkol sa hatian ng assets ng mommy at daddy ko. 

Pag tungtong ko kasi ng tamang gulang o edad ay malilipat na sa’kin automatically ang kalahati ng ari-arian ni Mommy. So Basically I own half of my parents parts. At mero’n pa akong parte sa assets ni Daddy.  So kahit ano man ang mangyari ay sinecure ni tita Delia na may place ako on our company for me to be safe.  As of the moment ay isa si tita sa mga tumutulong sa’kin.

Hinayaan lang naman ni Daddy si Tita na ayusin lahat ng mga dapat ayusinsa hatiaan ng assets ng parenys ko. I can feel that my Dad feel bad for me too, but I don’t need his sympathy at the moment. I just can’t take it seeing him with another family. My dad always gave me gifts lalo na kapag pumupunta siya ng ibang bansa.  Since my mom got in an accident ’till now.  Is ge guilty?  Is he sorry? I hope.  But everthing he gave for me, I’m using it!  Sayang naman! Lahat ’yon ay milyones ang mga halaga at limited edition pa from the favorite shops thay I love.

I notice the changes of myself since then, my emotionless body won’t go too far from this world. But I’ll continue the dream of my mama for.  She wanted me to be. The best Entreprenuer when the time comes,  I know it. And I’ll be, I know it…

Today is the day that me and Bell agreed to go in the Mall.  We’ll be spending money! I know yeah!  I just wore a fitted jeans and a crop top. Bell on the otherside wore jeans and a floral blouse that really suits her personality. As we walk on the mall, alam kong napapatingin sa’min ang ibang mga kalalakihan kahit na wala akong dibdib,  I am a savage!

I walk confidently with my sunglasses.  Halos napupukaw namin ang atensiyon ng mga ibang tao.  Who wouldn’t know us?  We’re daughters of big personality in the Business industry. But I don’t give a damn about them.  While Bell he smiles on the people that would greet her. But not me, I’m not in the mood and greetings other is not on my vocabulary anymore.

I am such a young bitch, I know!  They made me like this! But it’s much better,  I guess. “Wah!  I’m so excited. I’ve heard na nandito lahat ng gusto ko.” nasa isang Mall kami sa Makati. 

Mabilis naman ang paglalakad namin hanggang sa makarating kami sa mga bibilhan namin ng kinakailangan namin. His Boyfriend wanted to go with us. But bell refused. It’s girl bonding anyways! I’m using  a limited Chanel bag that I just received from dad weeks ago.  Well,  sorry I’m not thankful though.

Bell really loves Malling!  Habang ako nasa tatlo lang ang nabili ko, siya ay nasa sampu na.  I just let her do whatever she wants anyways.  Matapos ng mahigit tatlong oras na paikot-ikot at pamimili sa iba’t ibang shops ay napagpasyahan namin sa isang sikat na Japanese Cuisin Restaurant para kumain. Nasabi din sa’kin ni Bell, na halos lahat noong classmates namin noong High School ay magiging Classmates pa din namin ngayon.  I don’t know if it’s good but I just let it.

Habang nagkekwento si Bell ng kung ano-anong bagay biglang pumasok ang isang pamilyar na lalaki sa Restaurant kung nasaan kami kasunod niya ang lalaking nakabusangot.  It’s Bryan, Bell’s boyfriend. 

“Akala ko ba wala siya, Bell?” I asked at tinuro ko naman ang BF niya.

“Sorry… Mapilit kasi bess eh..” Saad niya.

“Hey Ladies…” saad ni Bryan. Ng makalapit sila sa’min ay ngiting ngiti si Bryan na humalik sa Pisngi ni Bell at gano’n din naman si Bell.  Tumabi kay Bell si Bryan at tumabi naman sakin ang lalaking parang pinaglihi din sa galit na katabi ko.

Bryan and I already knew each other dahil kay Bell.  Bryan is three year higher that us.  He’s now on his first year. I guess this man beside me is his friend.  Bryan is tall a natural handsome filipino,  Bell’s type. Yung kasama naman niya ay may katangakaran din, halatang batak sa gym ang dalawa. Makakapal ang kilay ng katabi ko at tahimik lang siyang nakikiramdam sa paligid.

“Anyways,  Kaye,  that man behind you is Nathaniel. Nathaniel,  si Kaye,  Bell’s cousin.” pagpapakilala ni Bryan sa lalaking kasama niya. Tumango lang siya matapos tumingin sa’kin. “Ganiyan talaga iyan… Pero mabait iyan.” He said to me but I don’t care!

Matapos no’n ay nag-order na kami.  Bryan and his friend are taking Engineering. Sa school kung saan kami mag SHS ni Bell. Napansin ko naman ang Pasulyap-sulyap na tingin sa’kin ng katabi ko.  Antagal nilang dalawa nakakainis! Nasasanggi niya yung siko ko sa tuwing sumusubo ako kaya tinignan ko siya mukhang nakuha niya naman ang gusto kong sabihin kaya umusog siya ng kaonti.  He barely speak pero ang lalim na ng boses niya.

They are both twenty one.  5 years age gap?  I wonder how Bell make their relationship lasts for 2 years legally. Pero they look alright together naman eh. Bell’s barely seventeen kaya halos hindi na din sila nagkakalayo, they actually look good together.May katangkaran din naman kaming magpinsan ’yon nga lang.  Mas matatangkad takaga sila. Tahimik lang kaming dalawa ni Nathan habang ang dalawa naman ay kulang na lang langgamin.

“So paano? Dito na kami… Bell sigurado kayo? Hindi kayo sasabay sa’min.” nasa parking lot na kami ngayon at patuloy pa din nangungulit si Bryan na sumabay kami sa kaniya.  But we refused, I refused specifically. Kung ano namang desisyon ko ay gano’n din si Bell. Tiningnan ko naman si Nathan at masuri ako nitong tinitingnan, tinaasan ko naman siya ng kilay at nag-iwas naman siya ng tingin kaagad.  Weirdo!

We separated ways ng dumating na talaga ang sasakyan ko. Mang Karding drove us home.  Since mag kaibang village kami ni Bell ay inuna ko muna siyang hinatid.  Medyo nagrereklamo siya kasi andami niyang binili.  Kutusan ko kaya ’tong pinsan ko? Nang makababa na siya ay nagpaalam na kami sa isa’t isa dahil magkikita naman kami sa school sa monday.

Patulog na ako ng makita ang dalawang mensahe mula sa mag kaibang numero.

“Hey!  Ganda kamusta na? Sorry medyo natagalan akong mag message ulit.  Hindi na kita nakita sa Hospital.. Lagi kitang hinihintay pero hindi na kita nakita… Sayang.☹️”

“Hello! This is Nathan. 🙂”

TB-3

I hate mondays.  I lazily turned off my alarm.  Five minutes more please. Today is monday. Today is my first day as a Senior HS.  I took Accountancy, Business and Management since it is related to the program that I’ll be taking in college.  Yes, I wanna manage my family’s business hindi ako papayag na sa iba lang ’yon mapunta.  My mother helps my Dad in building the empire. I wanna study on Harvard University in college. I’ll live by my mother’s dream.

Matapos kong gawin ang morning routines ko ay nagbihis na ako ng uniform ng school namin.  My school is LGBTQ community friendly so I am allowed to wear girl’s uniform.  Tita Delia personally made this for me same with Bell.  It fits my body perfectly kahit na wala akong dibdib lumalaban pa din. 

I’m using a light make up but my kilay are on flick, as always. I’ll bring my blue Prada bag.  In contrast with my blue uniform and skirt.  Matapos kong magbihis ay bumaba na ako to eat breakfast naabutan ko pa anak ni Daddy kay Melissa. He’s crying.  Melissa cooks breakfast everyday I don’t bother my self to smile on them. Pero nginitian naman ako ni Melissa.

Habang kumakain ay biglang pumasok si Daddy na tila nagmamadali.  Hinalikan niya si Melissa at ang baby sa pisngi. Eww! I thought. “Kaye, pasok na ako. Kayo na lang ng tita mo ang mag-breakfast… Late na ako eh…” He said. Tsk. I don’t care! Hindi na niya hinintay pa na makasagot ako. Lumapit naman ang baby sitter ng anak sa anak niya at pinatahan ’to.

“Can you please make your child quiet?” mataray na saad ko at pinagpatuloy na ang pagkain. Well, I just don’t like both of them.  Grrr.  For me,  isa sila sa rason kung bakit nawala si Mommy. Matapos kong kumain ay walang sabi sabi na umalis ako sa mesa.

“Nay Nely, I’m going to school na po.” Saad ko kay Nanay Nely.

“Sige,  Iha,  mag ingat ka.” saad niya at yumakap naman ako sa kaniya nakita ko naman na nakatingin si Melissa sa’min at napaiwas din ng tingin.  Hays. Kainis.

Matapos no’n ay umalis na ako ng bahay… My head held high.  I always maintain my posture.  I’ve trained for many things when I was a kid.  I can sing, dance and I can even walk like model.  Yeah,  my mama thought me to be a perfect girl.  Yes, sa paningin ng iba bakla ako but within me I’m a girl.

Matapos ang halos trenta minutos na binyahe ay dumating na ako sa VU, ng makababa na ako mula sa Parking Lot ng school ay agad na akong nagpaalam Kay Manong Karding. My daddy wants me to go gome with Mang Karding no matter what. Habang naglalakad ay napapatingin sa akin ang ibang mga estudyante, ofcourse they know me.  I am a child and heiress of Brent Empire.  A business tycoon that leads the Business industry.

Ramdam ko ang lamig at walang emosyon kong mga mata habang naglalakad ko.  I’m five minutes late and Bell arrived earlier than me.  Bell texted me a while ago. As soon as I find my room, I enter with elegance! Yes? Any problem? Some of them are familiar to me. “Kaye!” Bell shouted, pffftt.  As always. Kanina ay kausap niya yung satingin kong classmate namin dati.

Umupo ako sa tabi niya,  nasa likod namin ag dalawang pamilyar na lalaki din. Si Karl at Carl ang magkakambal na kaklase namin ni Bell noong Elementary, I guess naalala pa naman nila ako. “Hey!  Is that you Kaye?” tanong naman ng baklang kausap ni Bell kanina,  Alex. He hugged me tight.

“Bakla ka!  Na-miss kita!  Dati magkasing haba pa tayo ng buhok ngayon kinakabog mo na ako!” natatawang saad niya.  Medyo nahihiya ako kasi after 3 years ay ngayon ko na lang ulit sila nakita.  They know me for being jolly,  I guess hindi pa nila alam ni iba na ang ugali ko.  Naiilang naman akong kumalas sa yakap niya. 

“Ayy!  Sorry, Kaye.. Na-miss lang kita..” natatawa pa ding saad niya.

“Hey,  remember us?” tanong naman ng lalaking nasa likod ko.  I just nodded they are twins, Karl and Carl. You can easily differentiate them dahil medyo nerdy si Carl while si Karl naman ay hindi.

“Mas gumaganda ka ah! Dati ka pa crush ni’to…” Hindi niya na natuloy nag sasabihin niya dahil biglang may ininda siya sa paa niya.  I guess,  okay lang naman siguro na maging kaibigan ko pa din sila.  They are my elementary friends afterall. Noong nag home school lang naman ako nahiwalay sa kanila eh.

“Thanks…” Walang buhay kong sagot at humarap na kay Bell.

“Guys, Kaye,  is not that Jolly anymore,  you know…” Nahihiyang saad naman ni Bell sa kanila.

“Okay lang.” bulong ko kay Bell.

Patuloy naman nila akong tinatanong ng mga bagay-bagay at maikling sagot lang ang binibigay ko sa kanila. Afterall,  they know my story naman. Kaya naiintindihan nila yung pagiging iwas ko medyo. 

“Hey! Is that you Dora?” may panguuyam naman sa tono ni Clarisse nasa likod naman niya ang dalawang alipores niya sina Eve at Lea. Noong Elementary kami ay kilala na silang tatlo bilang bully ng school namin lalo na sa’kin dahil gusto ko maging babae.  Pero ngayon kung satingin niya hahayaan ko lang siya uyamin ang pag katao ko.  Nah!  You mess with the wrong bitch!

“Yes it is! How are you Fiona?” I asked at may panguuyam ko ding sabi. “I guess hindi mo pa din napapagawa ’yang ilong mo.” I said. Tumawa naman si Bell at Alex gano’n din ang dalawang lalaki na nasa likod ko.

“Woah! First day pa lang kasi naghahanap na kayo ng away…” natatawang saad ni Karl. Tinaasan lang nila kami ng kilay at pumunta na sa upuan nila.  Akala siguro niya ako pa din ang Kaye na pala ngiti na kahit ano pang panunukso mo ay ngingiti lang ako.  No! I’m not weak anymore.

I miss being with them afterall. These people are part of my childhood and we made it great together… I guess sila pa din naman ang friends ko. Si Alex naman ay nakakatext at nakakatawagan ko pa din dati habang nag hohome school. Wala pa din yung teacher namin… Pfft.  First day oa naman.

Nagkekwentuhan si Bell at Alex habang nakikinig lang ako. Si Karl naman ay panay ang pag sabi sakin na maganda ako.  Paulit-ulit? Alam ko! Kaasar!

“Sorry! I’m late!” nagulat ako ng biglang sigaw ng isang lalaki ang gumulat sa aming lahat.  Nagtawanan naman ang lahat dahil nakayuko siya.  Medyo natawa din ako pero nagulat ako ng makita ko kung sino siya.  Siya ’yon!  Siya yung lalaking nakikilala ko sa Hospital! Parang may kung anong kiliti naman ang naramdaman ko.  Arg!  He texts me for two months at nag text ulit siya noong nakaraan but I just ignored both of them.

Nahihiyang napatingin naman siya samin. Sino ba naman kasing sisigaw pag kapasok pa lang ng room.  May mga pawis pa na pumapatak mula sa noo niya.  His uniform looks quite old pero bagay pa din naman sa kaniya dahil gwapo siya.  Noong sumilay ang ngiti sa labi niya ay halos malaglag ang panga ng mga babaeng kaklase ko dahil sa gwapo niya.  Okay? Ang OA ng iba!

“Omo!” sigaw ni Clarisse mula sa likod at tili ng tili. Kainis! Para bang nakakita siya ng artista. Kinikilig pa yung mukha niya.

Ng makita niya ako ay kumaway siya sa’kin. Fúck! Ang gwapo niya dahil may bakante pa sa upuan na medyo malapit sa’kin ay doon siya umupo.

“Hey!  Hello! Ganda…” nahihiyang kamusta niya sa’kin. Dahan-dahan naman akong tumingin sa kaniya.

“Hello…” saad ko at may ngiting tumingin sa kaniya. What?  Ba’t ka nakangiti diyan! Grr!  Self kalma!  Wag agad magtiwala sa kanila.

“Uyyy! Ikaw ahh.” nagulat naman ako sa biglang kantiyaw ng mga classmate ko. “First day pa lang may love team na..” sigaw naman ng lalaki mula sa likod.

“Errr. No!” napayuko na lang ako dahil sa ingay nila.  If looks can kill I’m probably dead by now dahil sa mga tingin ni Clarisse,  tinarayan ko lang din siya pabalik.

Mabuti na lang ay dumating na ang teacher namin sa first class. As usual, first day of class set up. Nagpakilala lang naman kami.  It’s kinda boring pero okay lang atleast wala ako sa bahay.

“Ahmm. Pwede bang makahiram ng Ballpen,  ganda…”  saad ni Clint… Inabot ko naman ang extra pen ko.  It’s Hello Kitty dahil Si Bell ang bumili no’n. Pero tinanggap niya pa din.

First day pa lang wala na siyang Ballpen? Err.

Oras na ng break ng mapagpasiyahan kong pumunta ng CR. To my surprise Clint followed me. 

“Hey! Ganda!  Why didn’t you reply on my texts?”  tanong nita at napakamot pa ng ulo.

“Namatay kasi yung Mommy ko.” I said without any glimpse of emotions but I know my eyes can’t lie sometimes.

“Oh… Soryy…” He said.

“No..  It’s alright…” I said.  Ngumiti naman ako sa kaniya at ngumiti din siya sa’kin.

“Can I join you for lunch?” He asked.

“Yeah.” maikling sagot ko lang.  Mukha namang wala siyang ibang kakilala bukod sa’kin kaya okay lang.

Pagkalabas ko ng CR ay hindi ko inexpect na nasa labas pa din siya… “Are you waiting for me?  I asked.

“Well,  Kinda.” nahihiyang saad niya.

We walk together hanggang sa makarating kami sa Canteen ng school kung nasaan sina Bell.  The college building is a bit far from here pero Bryan and his friend Nathan are on the table where Bell is.  The moment I neared the table napansin ko agad ang pagtingin sa’kin ni Nathan at biglaang pag ngiti niya but I just ignored it.

Umupo ako sa tabi ni Bell at umupo naman sa tabi ko si Clint. Nasa katabing tatlohang table ang kambal at si Alex.

“Hey… Kami na lang ang oorder ni Nathan for you guys…” saad naman ni Bryan sa’min ni Bell. 

I tell them what I want pero noong ibibigay ko na yung bayad ko.  “No, I’ll just pay for it.” saad ni Nathan. I just nodded.

“Talaga pre? Yun oh! Minsan lang ’yan kaya sulitin na natin Babe.” saad ni Bryan kay Bell. Errr.  This couple is really something.

Napatingin naman ako kay Clint and saw his packed food.  Nakatingin din siya sa’kin. Nag start ng kumain sina Alex dahil mas nauna silang nag-order kesa sa’min. “Why don’t you eat first? I asked to Clint.

“No,  I’ll wait for you…” He said and smiled.  Ow!  Smooth! Clint is really something but as I observe Clint is one of the scholar of this school, he really looks genius, anyways.

Ng dumating na ang order namin ay nagsimula na kaming kumain. I suddenky smell Pinakbet! My Ghad! 

That’s my fave… I look to looks Clint’s food.  Mukhang masarap. Bigla tuloy akong nawalan ng gana sa kinakain ko at parang mas gusto kong kainin yung pagkain niya.

“Want some.” He asked. Hindi pa man ako sumasagot ay nilagyan niya na ng Pakbet yung plato ko. 

“Thanks…” nahihiyang saad ko napatingin naman ako sa mga nasa table namin at nakatingin din sila sa’kin. Masamang tingin naman ang binibigay ni Nathan sa kaniya. Problema ne ’to?

“Have you met before?” Bell asked suddenly.

“Yeah… Sa may Hospital..” saad niya at tumingin sa’kin habang may ngiti siya sa labi.  Oh!  Nahahawa ako sa mga ngiti niya! Kainis!

Palabas na kami ng room, ako na lang at si Bell ang naiwan sa loob. Pagkalabas namin ay naghihintay pala si Clint sa labas.

“Oh! Ba’t di ka pa nauna?”  Bell asked me.  Malisyoso naman akong tiningnan ni Bell.

“Hmmm. Wala lang.” nakangiting saad niya.  Kahit na may kalumaan na yung uniform niya halos umaangat pa din siya. Err!  He’s indeed handsome.

Magkakasabay kaming naglakad papunta ng parking lot kung nasaan ang sundo namin ni Bell.

“Bye… Bell…  Bye… Ganda!” nakangiting saad niya.

“Bye..” nahihiyang saad ko.

“It’s nice to see you again…” He said at naglakad na. Weird.  Sumakay naman ako ng kotse namin at hindi na pinagabalahan pa ang sinabi niya.

TB-4

As I get home, tila ba bumalik sa’kin ang ala-ala ng nakaraan.  Parang kahapon lang, parang kahapon lang noong umuwi ako ng school at nakita kong nag-aaway ang mga parents ko.  Para bang nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa bawat sulok ng bahay na ’to. A tear suddenly escaped from eyes, I immediately wiped it.  As I enter the big door of our mansion manag welcomed me with a hug, wala na si mommy and I’m thankful that Nanay is doing what my mom does before for me.

I went up stairs to change.  Matapos kong magbihis ay saglit kong nilinis ang katawan ko at humiga muna sa kama para magpahinga saglit.  Hindi ko namalayan ang oras.  Alas tres ako nakauwi ng bahay ngunit alas otso na ng gabi ng magising ako. Naghilamos ako ng mukha pagkatapos ay bumaba na para mag dinner.  Kumpleto na sila sa dinner table, I didn’t bother to greet them back noong batiin nila ako. My Dad and I never talk about how I feel and felt for him but I know that he knows that I hate to the max.

“Kaye,  can we talk after this?” He asked.  This is the first na kakausapin niya ako. I always refused to talk with him since then sa tuwing gusto niya akong makausap. I missed him.  I really do.  But what can I do?    I’m just a pushover here.  Para bang nakikitira na lang ako sa sarili kong bahay.  Dad won’t go out,  he said he wanted us to be together dahil anak niya ako.  Pero for me,  mas gugustuhin ko na lang na umalis sila dito. But yeah,  I know,  he’s my dad.

Dad and I never fight with each other…  I won’t like it either.  I am a papa’s boy no cut it!  I’m  a papa’s girl.  I really look up him as my father before.  Because Daddy is really a hard worker not untill Melissa came in to the picture.  Pero satingin ko hindi na niya ako kailangan dahil may anak na lalaki na sila ni Melissa.

After naming kumain ay sumunod lang ako kay Daddy sa office niya sa bahay.  A sudden image of them fighting in this room appeared on my very eyes but I instantly vanished it.

“It won’t take long, baby…” He said.  Oh God!  How I miss my Dad! But I can’t let him know that I miss him! I just nod.

“Kaye, I wanted you to understand everything… I gave you time and space for the meantime but I knew you are hurt and you’re healing.  I’m hoping you find peace in your heart… Kaye…  Everything had happen are accident…  But I know I’m im fault too…” tears suddenly flow in to his eyes.

“Remember your mom and dad?  Fought that day?” He asked.

I nodded again.

I’m starting to feel numb but still I want to absorb everthing his telling me. I am afraid that it might make my anger towards him subside but I won’t as long as the walls I’m building are fixed.

“That day, we’re about to tell you that we are planning to annul our marriage. We planned that for so long. Noong araw na ’yon ay napagkasunduan namin na i-annul na yung marriage namin. But she had a sudden change of mind,  Kaye. Our marriage is not out of love,  it’s because of your Grandfather’s doing.  Your mom doesn’t love me anymore but she had no choice because his father is so much powerful.  We both agreed to annul our marriage on the right time.  When your grandfather died, we bacame free… Nakalaya kami sa kulungan na binigay ng mga magulang namin… But noong na ’yon natatakot siya na baka hindi mo tanggapin. I stayed at home that time pero umalis siya at alam kong pinuntahan niya yung tunay na minamahal ng mom mo.  We agreed it, but she’s afraid…Kaye, I’m your Dad kaya nasasaktan ako sa mga araw na parang hindi mo ako kinikilala bilang ama mo.” lumandas na ang luha sa mga mata ni Daddy.  With this…  I just can’t take it…

Oh God! I can’t take it… Tears flow in to my eyes freely… Am I that bad to make him feel that way? Should I just forget and forgive? Both are difficult for me.  My Dad wiped ny tears with his finger.

“Can I hug you little girl? You look so Bold and strong anak… May tiwala ako sayo… I’m not telling you this for you to like Melissa anak..  I just can’t be far from you anak… Simula ng mawala ang mommy mo… Pinangako ko na napoprotektahan kita hangga’t sa makakaya ko…” He said as he come closer to me and hugged me tightly.

“Dad… I’m sorry…. I’m sorry… Dad… I’m such a bitch to you… I’m such a pain to you….” I said wholeheartedly. The pain.  Should I start moving from here? I want to…  I will make this as my reason to move and to be free.  I know my mom,  wanted me to be happy…  Just happy…

Mom…  I will.. Just believe me.

“No anak… I should be the one to feel sorry for you… I will live as your mom and dad… Understood? Walang makakasakit sa prinsesa ko…” He said as he kiss my forehead.

“Dad….” I cried out… 

“Naawa ako sayo anak… Bata ka pa lang…  Pero naranasan mo na yung mga bagay na ’yon… Ako… Nandito ako… I’m sorry anak for all the pain… I love you anak…” My Dad said.  His big built enveloped me.  I missed him… I missed him so much!

“I miss you Dad…” I said.

“I miss you too anak…My princess” Dad said.

Atleast it would lesses the pain… Freeing yourself from that hatred I didn’t know that  it would be this great… I just love it… It’s like I’m reborn… Tama si Dad… I should move on… But I should keep my mom in my heart forever… Would it be my happy ending?  Eto na ’yon?  For me sapat na ’to. I’m happy… I am…

Kung minsan Nakakatakot umandar dahil hindi natin alam yung mangyayari sa’tin. Kung minsan ang mga sugat na binibigay ng kahapon ay nagbibigay ng aral para sa susunod na araw… I feel like another chapter has ended in my life… And wishing for a happy chapter to be the next one…

Gumising ako ng may ngiti sa aking labi… I feel so strong and bold.  Para bang narecharge ako makalipas ang ilang taon… It just feels so great…

Matapos kong suotin ang uniform ko ay naglagay lang ako ng make up and ofcourse hindi pa din nawawala ang on flick kung kilay. Lalaban pa din dapat sa tarayan… Change is not just overnight I guess…  I’m still a bitch,  somehow…  I laugh with my own thought…  Crazy pretty girl!

I feel more stronger being like this..  So I’ll stay like this… Hindi naman required ngumiti sa lahat eh. But atleast at the moment I could smile whenever I want to.

Sa pagbaba ko ng hagdan ay dumiretso agad ako sa Dining Area. Nginitian ako ni Nanay Nely at ginantihan ko din siya.  Halata ang gulat sa mukha niya… Pero dedma… Dad smiled on me as I sit on my chair…. Melissa smiled but I can’t just smile on her too yet…

Das asks me something pero this time I’m answering him…  Hindi man mahabang sagot at least ngayon sumasagot na ako di ba? Ke’sa naman hindi.

I kissed him on the cheeks na kinagulat ng ibang nga katulong at ni Nanay Nely but she still able to smile on me at para bang naluluha.  Na nagkaayos na kami ni Dad… Melissa on the other hand is still smiling.  I told you kahit hindi ko siya ngitian ay nakangiti pa din siya. That’s what good about her. She’s not the typical step-mom.

Pero kung siya yung typical na step-mom, ‘aba’! Hindi ako magpapatalo ’no! I’m Kaye, and no Kaye would be step down by others.

Sa pagbaba ko ng sasakyan ay si Nathan ang sumalubong sa’kin. He texted me yesterday but I didn’t respond in to it.  Kahit na kay Clint, he said goodnight yesterday.

“Hey! You look… different..” He said but I just ignored him.

“I’m coming with you…” saad niya. Napatingin naman ako sa kaniya as far as I remember, Nathaniel’s building is far from here…

“Baka malate ka…” malamig na tugon ko. Tumawa naman siya…  Napahinto naman ako… His laugh… It’s familiar… Para bang narinig ko na ’yon kung saan.

“Nope… Inagahan ko talaga.. I came here with Bryan… She’s with your cousin…” he said.

“May boyfriend ka na ba?” He suddenly asked.  Wait. Ambilis ah.  Tatlong beses pa lang ata kami nagkikita neto.

“Wala. At wala akong interes sayo…” I said without any guild.

“Ouch…” birong saad niya at hinawakan pa ang puso niya…

“Ngayon lang ’yan…” mayabang na saad niya.. He’s kinda different pag may iba kaming kasama… Pero bahala siya…

Tinaasan ko lang siya ng kilay…

“Mukha lang akong babae… Pero kung anong meron ka diyan mero’n pa din ako niyan..” diretsang saad ko.

“So? Mas maganda ka pa nga sa iba diyan eh…” He said. Tsk!

“Babaero…” bulong ko…

“Ano ’yon? May sinasabi ka ba diyan… Crush mo ko no?” saad niya. Pekeng tawa naman ang sinagot ko.  Halos napapatingin ang ibang mga magaaral na nakakasalubong namin. Pero laking pasasalamat ko ng makarating na ako ng Classroom…

“See you later…” He said at tumakbo na paalis. Ilang taon na nga ulit ’yon? 21? My gosh!  Para siyang kasing edad lang namin.

Hindi ko namalayan na nakasilip pala ang mga kaklase ko. Napatingin naman ako kay Clint at madilim ang mukha niyang nakatingin sa direksiyon ko… Niyare do’n? Pero umiwas din siya ng tingin…

“Hoy!  Ano ’yon ah?” naguusyosong saad ni Bell.

“Ha? Nagkasabay lang kami.” I said at umupo na sa upuan ko.

“Nagseselos ’tong kakambal ko oh! Kaye kasi eh,  kinakabog ang ganda ng iba eh…” Natatawang saad naman ni Karl.

“Ikaw bess ah.  Ang haba ng hair…” sabat naman ni Alex…

“Wala ’yon…” sagot ko.

“Parang may iba sayo ngayon? Parang masaya ka…” biglang saad ni Bell.. I just shrugged my shoulders.

Tumingin ako kay Clint pero nakasalampak na yung ulo niya sa mesa niya. Problema nito?

Buong oras ng mga klase ay kinukulit ako nina Bell,  Alex at Karl.  Pero Paulit-ulit ko namang sinasabing nagkasabay lang kami….

Ng mag break na ay kaagad naman kaming pumunta ng Canteen… Gano’n pa din kasama namin sina Bryan at Nathaniel. They volunteer to buy for our meals but I force them to accept my money.  Once is enough, I guess.

Nasa tabi ko pa din si Clint pero masasamang tingin ang binibigay niya kay Nathan. Magkaaway ba sila? Dahil saan naman?

Ng dumating na yung pagkain namin ay nagulat ako ng nilagyan ni Clint ng gulay ang plato ko.

“Thank you…” I smiled. He smiled…

Ambilis naman magbago ng mood niya… Matapos kumain ay nagpaalam na sila Nathan at Clint pansin ko na inilalayo ako ni Clint kay Nathan sa tuwing lalapit si Nathan. Magkaaway ba ’tong dalawa? Hayss.  Bahala nga sila diyan.

“Kailan pa kayo naging close no’n?” Seryosong saad ni Clint.  Naglalakad na kami pabalik ng room namin.

“Ha? We’re not close… nakasabay ko nga lang siya…” naiinis na na saad ko.

“Tss.” Napairap na lang ako.

“I’m just going to comfort room…” I said to Bell specifically.

Iniwan ko na sina Clint dahil hindi ko naman kailangan ng kasama eh.  Ano ’to kailangan may mag hahawak ng skirt ko? I laughed.

Before I could even enter the girl’s room ay may humarang saking dalawang babae. Tiningnan nila ako mula ulo hanggang paa at gano’n din ang ginawa ko sa kanila.  Anong tingin nila sila lang pwede ang gumawa no’n.

“Move…” Malamig na saad ko.

Tumawa naman silang dalawa… Dapat nag panty na lang sila sa sobrang ikli ng skirt nila eh.  Grr.  Mukhang higher year pa ’tong mga ’to.  Uso pa pala ’to?  But they are messing with the wrong person.

“Bakla!  Doon ka oh!” turo niya sa CR ng panglalaki. Nangiinsulto niya ulit akong pinasadahan ng tingin.

“Kahit mukha kang babae, lalaki ka pa din.  Bakla ka!” Sabi naman noong isa na mukhang aattend ng Ball mamaya dahil sa make up niya. Gosh! 

Tumawa naman ako ng pagak.

“Beware Bitches, hindi niyo ba ako kilala? Anak lang naman ako ng mga Vinitez…  Specifically my parents own this school…” I lied. Tumawa naman ako sa naisip ko at mabilis na tinignan ang pangalan nilang dalawa.

Namutla naman sila sa sinabi ko pero makapal talaga yung make up nila!  Kaasar! Tanginang iyan!

“Ano naman?” nagmamatapang na saad ni Dora.  Medyo may pagkamaitim kasi siya.  Umitim siguro dahil sa kakagala.

“Tsk.” I said binunggo ko silang dalawa. “Tabi!   Nagmamadali ako eh…” mataray na saad ko.

Dumaing naman sila at umalis din naman… Haysss.  Mabuti naman at medyo natakot sila.

“Venitez pala ah…” rinig kong sabi noong isa sa kanila bago sila tuluyang makaalis pero hinayaan ko na lang.

“What took you so long?” medyo malakas na tanong ni Clint,  hanang nakaupo sa isa sa mga bench paliko sa mismong building namin.

“Ha?” He’s acting weird. Ano bang nangyayari sa kaniya.

“I’ve been waiting for you… Here…  20 minutes na…” He said. Oh?  Talaga?  Kaasar kasi yung mga babaeng ’yon eh.

“Never mind, halika na baka malate tayo…” Saad ni Clint.  Okay?  Ganito ba ang gustong makipagkaibigan… Well…  I consider Clint as my friend naman.

“Eyyy,  oo nga pala!” Bigla niyang hinawakan yung siko ko at pinaharap sa kaniya.

Tiningnan ko naman ang kamay niya at Tinggal naman niya ’yon agad.

“Could you please reply on my messages?  Please?  Kahit maikli lang… Okay lang sakin…

“Sige…” saad ko…

Napangiti naman siya ng malapad dahil sa sinabi ko.

“Tara na…” hinawakan niya ako sa kamay at mabilis na hinila papunta sa Classroom namin.. Err.  Hindi ko na tinaggal hanggang sa makarating kami bg Classroom namin.

“Ayan na pala yung couple ng Classroom natin eh… Nice pre!  Ganda pa naman ni Kaye…” saad ng mga boys na naging close na din ni Clint.

Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at umupo na sa upuan ko.

“Ikaw bess ah,  may something talaga kayo ’no…” pangungulit ni Bell…

Nakiusyoso naman si Alex.

“Oo nga, crush ka niyang si Clint… Siguro dati pa…” saad niya.

“We’re just friends… Please… Don’t conclude anything…” I said.

“Ayon naman pala eh… Ligawan na kaya kita, Kaye?” malokong saad ni Karl at napailing na lang ako.  Tumawa naman sina Bell at Alex.

“Ang ingay..” biglang singit ni Clarisse kasunod ang mga alipores niya at tinarayan pa ako. But I just ignored them. May sapak talaga ’yon sa ulo.

TB-5

Isang linggo na nagsimula ang klase namin sa paaralan. Ngayon ay araw na naman ng lunes. Habang papasok sa paaralan namin pansin ko ang mga tinging ibinibigay ng mga estudyante sa paaralan na ’to. Ang iba ay mula pa sa Higher level. Titingin sila sa Cellphone na hawak nila at titingin muli sakin. Weird! Ano bang mero’n?

Ang mga lalaki ay makikitaan mo ng pagkamangha kapag titingnan nila ako. Ang mga babae naman ay parang nanghuhusga ngunit may iba naman na nakangiti sa’kin. Alam ko namang walang nakakaalam na isa akong Brent bukod sa mga classmates at kaibigan ko.

Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at dumiretso na ng lakad. Papasok ng Building namin. Gano’n din ang ibang mga nasa loob na ng kanilang classroom tila ba inaabangan nila ang pagdating ko, kaya hindi ko na naiwasan pang mapataas ng kilay.

“Let’s go… Just ignore them…” Nagulat naman ako dahil bigla na lang akong hinawakan ni Clint sa kamay at hinila na para mas mapabilis ang paglalakad namin. Nasasanay na siyang hawakan ang kamay ko! Ha!

“Ano bang mero’n?” nagtatakang tanong ko.

“Tangina lang noong nagpakalat no’n!” nangagalaiti na saad niya. Ano daw? Nagpakalat? Anong pinakalat?

“Ha? Anong pinakalat?” nagtatakang tanong ko.

“Your pictures… Kaye.” mahinahon niya ng saad. Pictures ko? Hala! Sinong nagpakalat no’n? Saan naman nanggaling ’yon?

Nagkukumpulan ang ibang mga classmates ko. Pagkarating namin ay kaagad lumapit sina Bell, Alex at ang kambal sa’min.

“Haven’t you see it Kaye? Sikat ka na!” Natutuwang saad ni Alex. Sikat? Gosh! I hate so much attention!

Tiningnan ko naman ang mga larawan na kumakalat sa internet. Gosh! Ang ganda ko naman diyan! May naka-caption na “The Beauty of a Transgender… Siguro kong iba matutuwa but not me… I hate so much attentions! Fuck! Kaya pala pinagtitingan ako kanina. Kuha ang mga larawan sa iba’t ibang parte ng school. Err. Kaasar! Though maganda naman talaga ako pero ayoko lang talaga ng sobrang attention. Nakakaasar!

“Pero infairness ah. Sobrang ganda mo diyan… Kaye…” nakangiting saad ni Karl. Nagmamasid lang naman yung kambal niy, si Carl.

“What? Paano kung mabastos si Kaye? Tingnan mo nga yung ibang mga larawan diyan! That’s absurd! Wala silang permiso to do that! Kaasar!” naiinis na saad ni Clint. Wow? Siya ba yung nasa picture. Pero he have a point. May mga comments nga na hindi na masyadong maganda sa paningin. Horny man! Yuck!

“Chill bro!” natatawang saad naman ni Karl. Nakatingin lang si Carl kay Clint dahil sa inakto nito. Kung hindi mo kami kilala mapagkakamalan mo talagang boyfriend ko si Clint. On how he acts. Arg!

“I’ll do something about it couz.. Don’t you worry.” saad naman ni Bell at may tinawagan siya sa Telepeno niya at lumabas. Makalipas lang ang ilang minuto ay bumalik na siya muli sa’min.

“Okay na…” nakangiting saad ni Bell. Tiningnan ko naman ang post at wala na nga ’yon doon sa mga sites ng school. I guess Bell use her connections well. After that, I thank her wholeheartedly.

“The post will be deleted on the websites pati na din sa mga phone ng nag save no’n!” Saad niya.

“Arg! Kaya pala wala na dito yung pictures ni Kaye eh…” napapakamot pa na saad ni Karl at binatukan naman siya ng kakambal niya.

Sino kaya ang nagpakalat no’n? What’s the point of sharing my photos online. Alam ko namang maganda ako eh. Grr. Kaasar lang. Natahimik na ang lahat ng pumasok na ang teachers namin.

Matapos ang ilang oras na klase ay ang paborito ko ng oras, lunch break. Nagulat kami ng pagkalabas namin ng Classroom ay may mga lalaking nag-aabang sa labas marami sila. Anong mero’n? Halos lahat sila ay may Flowers at Chocolates. Errr. Valentine’s Day na ba? Nauna ng lumabas ang ibang classmate namin.

Noong kami na lang nila Bell ang hindi pa lumabas ay nagtaka kami dahil hindi pa din umaalis yung mga nasa sampung lalaki sa labas. Sapalagay ko may kutob na si Clint at Carl sa nangyayari kaya masama ang tingin nila sa mga lalaki.

“Omo! Alex, para sayo yata iyang mga boylets na ’yan…” Kinikilig na saad ni Bell kay Alex…

“Satingin mo? Labas na ako guys ahh. Mamimili na ako sa kanila…” Kinikilig pa saad ni Alex.

“Pffttt. Feeling maganda…” saad ni Karl sa kaniya. Ngayon ko lang nakitang seryoso si Karl ahh. Hmmm. I smell something fishy ah. “Tara na nga…” saad ko naman at lumabas na kaming anim.

Noong nauna si Alex ay napatawa pa kami ng walang lumapit sa kaniya pagkalabas. At noong nasa labas na din kami ay nilapitan nila kami noong akala ko ay si Bell ang lalapitan pa la nila ako. What the? Bakit ako?

“For you, Pretty…”

“This is for you… Ms. Kaye.. “

“Para sayo…”

Iyan ang mga narinig ko mula sa kanila ng lumapit sila sa’kin.

“Not interested…” I said boredly.

Pero hindi pa din sila nagpapigil. Pinipilit pa din nila akong tanggapin ang mga dala nila. Pftt. Boys will always be boys.. Grr. Nakakairita lang. Wala namang nagsabi na magdala sila niyan eh.

“Ayaw niya nga ’di ba?” Malakas na sigaw ni Clint at hinila na ako sa kumpulan nila.

“Hey! Where are you going? Dito yung way ng canteen…” rinig kong sigaw ni Bell.

Matapos no’n ay dinala niya ako sa back part ng building kung saan may mga benches na pwedeng upuan…

“Hold this… I’ll just buy your foods… For sure mangungulit pa din ang mga ’yon if ever na makita ka nila. Tsk… Ba’t naman ksi sobrang ganda mo eh… “ seryosong saad niya. Hindi ko na rinig yung huli niyang sinabi pero binalewa ko na lang.

“Thanks…” ang sabi ko na lang matapos niyang iabot ang baon niya sa’kin ay mabilis na siyang umalis…

Matapos ang ilang minuto ay bumalik na siya dala yung karaniwang pagkain na inoorder ko. Halatang binilisan niya ang pagbalik sa’kin. Pawis na pawis pa ang noo niya at may mga butil pang pumapatok doon. Hindi naman siya mukhang Dugyot. He actually look hot… Gosh! Paranh kinikiliti ang puso ko! Umaandar na naman ang pagiging magandang babae ko! Eme.

“Hey! Dapat hindi ka na tumakbo… “ natatawang saad ko. Clint and I are ‘textmates’ nakakaaliw ka si siyang katext. Yeah! I know but we’re just talking about random stufs.

“Gwapo naman…” saad niya at nag wink pa.

“Pffttt. Saan banda?” I laugh sumimangot naman siya.

“Kumain na nga lang tayo…” seryosong saad niya. Ano ’to? Sineryoso niya ’yon? Matapos no’n ay kumain na kami… Clint and I are just talking about some stuffs. He really loves bisiness. He told me na wala silang family business buy he wanted to build his own. He actually looks intelligent at base na din sa performance niya sa class namin ay halatang matalino at magaling si Clint. I believe magagawa niya ’yon…

Since the first day we met, I know Clint is different from others. He’s full of passion. Makikita mo yung determination sa mga mata niya. He’s really something…

Matapos namin kumain ay kaagad naman kaming bumalik sa classroom namin kaagad akong binatikos ng mga tanong nina Bell. It was kinda annoying since once and for all nilayo lang naman ako ni Clint kanina sa mga lalaking ’yon.

“Ms. Brent and Mr. Montenegro… Ms. Santos and Mr. Mender…” pagsasabi ng teacher namin kung sino ang makakapair namin for our Research Project.

“Ma’am sino sa’min?” tanong naman ni Karl.. Oo nga pala… Magkakambal sila..

Napapikit naman si Bell at parang hinihiling nasa ay si Carl na Nerd ang makapartner niya. Napatawa naman ako sa kaniya.

“Ayaw na ayaw kay Karl ah.” natatawang saad ko.

“Pfftt. Ibigay na lahat sa’kin wag lang yung asungot na iyan…” she said at masamang tiningnan pa si Karl.

“Si Carl ang partner mo Ms. Santos…” napatalon naman sa tuwa si Bell.

“Woah! Thank you Lord!” tumawa naman ang mga kaklase ko ng dahil sa sinabi ni Bell.

Hmmmm. For sure may magagawa kami since si Clint ang partner ko…

“Okay, I’ll just update you everyone kung kailan niyo kailangan ipasa ang Research niyo…” saad ng teacher namin bago siya lumabas. We’re task to research for a best business that would trend in the industry in connection of being an ABM student.

After that we decided to go in the Library, magkakasama kaming pumunta ng Library kasama yung mga partner namin…

“Let’s find a book that has something to do with our topic…” Clint said to me. At naghiwaly na kaming dalawa.

Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay may nahanap na akong isang Libro, si Clint kaya? Nakahanap na kaya siya?

Habang naghahanap ay napukaw ng atensiyon ko ang isang libro ngunit nakalagay ito sa medyo tuktok na bahagi ng mga shelves. I tried to reach it with my hands but accidentally ay nadulas ako. Fuck!

I thought matutumba ako sa sahig pero hindi. As I open my eyes Clint is holding me with his two big arms.

“Thanks…” nahihiyang saad ko at mabilis ko naman inayos yung sarili ko.

“Next time humingi ka ng tulong ‘sa’kin’.” He said empasizing the word ‘sakin’ I just nod in to him. Binitawan niya pala yung mga librong dala niya. Kaya tinulungan ko naman siyang damputin ’yon…

Matapos no’n ay umupo na kami sa bakanteng upuan… Hayss. Sino bang hindi mahuhulog sa mukhang ’to? Magkaharapan kami sa mesa.

“Let’s read… “ saad niya. The burning passion in his eyes to learn are evident. Ang gwapo niyang tignan! Gosh!

Habang nagbabasa kami ay may naglapag ng juice sa mesa ko. Napatingin naman ako dito. It was Nathan.

“Hey! Mabuti na lang at nabura ko kaagad yung photos mo na kumalat kanina…” He said. What? So siya yung tinawagan ni bell kanina errr. Bakit kay Nathan pa? Nathan always texts me also pero minsan iniignore ko lang unlike with Clint.

“Ikaw pala ’yon, Thank you nga pala…” umupo naman siya sa tabi ko.

Napansin ko naman ang pagbusangot ng mukha ni Clint at ang masamang tingin ang binibigay niya kay Nathan… Woah? Do they know each othet ba talaga? Para kasing magkakilala sila eh.

“I’m familiar with that. My Dad is an owner of a company. I’ve been holding some of our business kaya marami na din akong nalaman…” Really? Kahit hindi pa siya nakagraduate? That’s cool!

“Mag-CR lang ako…” saad ni Clint at lumabas na. Anyare dun? Kanina lang sobrang passionate niya pa magbasa….

I just nodded on him at pinagpatuloy ko na lang ang pakikinig sa mga suggestions and tips ni Nathan. Well, he’s a great help anyway.

Sampung minuto na simula ng mag-CR si Clint ay hindi pa din siya nakakabalik. Ano kayang nangyari doon? Kinailangan namang bumalik nila Nathan at Bryan sa College building dahil may tatapusin pa daw ang mga ’to. Well, I guess they are busy also.

“What took you so long?” I asked.

“Nag-CR lang…” maikling dugtong niya at hindi ko na siya muling tinanong pa. Nagpatulou na lang din akong mag basa ngunit pansin ko na may iniida siya sa kamay niya.

“What happened to your your hands? Lumabas ka lang may sugat ka na…” hinawakan ko yung kamay niya. Ano bang nangyari sa kaniya?

“Napaaway ka din ba sa CR?” I asked.

“No… naaksidente lang iyan.” He said.

Inilabas ko yung band aid ko at nilagyan ko yung kamay niya para bang may sinuntok siyang kung ano. Nakipagaway siguro siya. Tsk. Basagulero din siguro ’to si Clint.

Ipinagpatuloy na namin ang pagbabasa.

“Siguro kung may business lang kami, hindi mo na siguro kinailngang magtanong sa iba…” seryosong saad niya.

“Ha? Why? Binigyan lang naman tayo ng Tips ni Nathan eh. Tsaka hindi naman siguro kailangan ng busuness para matuto tayo tungkol sa actual field.” I said to him. Pfft. Ang weird niya talaga madalas.

Sabado ng hapon ng biglaang mapagdesisyonan namin nila Bell at Alex na mag Mall. Sa isang park kami magkikita nila Alex..

Habang naglalakad papunta sa park kung saan kami magkikita nila Alex ay napansin ko ang isang kulay puting pusa na mukhang may sugat.

I actually love cats. Kaya naman nilapitan ko ’to. “Hey Mingming! Are you hurt?” I said at hinawakan ’to.

Hinagod ko ang balahibo niyang makapal at kulay puti. Malinis naman siya kaya nga lang ay may sugat siya. Nilabas ko yung Hello Kitty band aid na nasa bag ko at iniligay yun sa paa niya na may sugat.

“Pare mukhang magandang babae ’to ahh.” saad ng isang lalaki.

Kinabahan naman ako at napatingin sa likod ko. May dalawang matandang lalaki na mukhang mga lasinggero at adik.

“Miss, sama ka sa’min..” Nakakatakot na saad noong isang lalaki na mas mahaba ang buhok. Naglakad sila palalapit sa’kin, hindi ko alam kung saan ako tatkbo at walang dumadaan sa eskinita na kinaroroonan ko. Tangina netong mga adik na ’to!

“Wag kayong lalapit! “ Akmang hahawakan na ako ng isang lalaki ng bigla na lang siyang natumba. Nagulat ako ng makita ko ang galit at seryosong mukha ni Clint.

“Touch her and your dead!” saad niya pa. Kinalibutan naman ako at halata din na natakot sila kay Clint. Laging nakangiti si Clint kaya nakakapanibago ang ganitong awra niya. Clint is just wearing his sando kaya kitang kita ang biceps niya. Okay, Kay, It’s not time for that.

“Pakielamero ka ah…” akmang susuntukin siya nung isa pa ng maiwasan niya ’to at sinikmuraan niya naman ’to.

Tumayo naman ang isa at nasuntok siya nito sa mukha ng dahil sa lakas ng pagkakatama ay napatumba siya. Akmang hahawakan siya nito ng tadyakan niya ’to sa tiyan. Mabilis siyang tumayo at hinila ako.

“Takbo lang!” saad niya… Tumakbo lang kami ng tumakbo hanggang sa hindi na namin makita yung mga humabol sa’kin kanina.

“Okay ka lang ba?” nag-aalalang tanong niya at tiningnan yung mukha ko.

“Tangina lang! Pasalamat sila may lagnat ako.” mura niya bigla. Nagulat naman ako sa sinabi niya.

“Okay lang ako.” saad ko. Kumalma na ang sistema ko. Hinawakan ko ang noo niya na ikinagulat niya.

“Mainit ka nga… Ba’t ka kasi naging si Super Man kanina? Okay ka lang ba? “ saad ko.

“Okay lang ako basta okay ka.” saad niya na ikinamula naman ng mukha ko. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya.

“Halika punta tayo do’n.” turo ko sa kalapit na convenient store.

Habang naglalakad ay tinext ko si Bell at Alex na may emergency na nangyari kaya hindi muna ako makakapag-mall.

“Ba’t kasi hindi ka nagpahatid sa driver mo?” biglang saad niya.

“Busy kasi siya kanina eh…” sagot ko naman. Dahil nakita kong pagod na pagod si manong Karding dahil nilinisan niya ang halos lahat ng sasakyan sa garahe kaninang umaga.

“Dapat hindi ka na lang umalis sa bahay niyo tapos tignan mo iyang suot mo… “ saad ni Clint. Tinignan ko naman ang suot ko. I wore a white short and blouse. So? Ang mga rapist kahit ano pang suotin mo, basta umatake ang sakit nila ay rapist pa din sila. Arg!

“Ako na lang ang papasok.” saad ko.

Matapos kong mamili ng mga gamot para sa mga sugat ni Clint ay bumili na din ako ng Ice Cream na favorite naming bilhin ni Bell mula noong bata pa kami. Matagal tagal na din pala simula ng kumain ako ng Ice Cream.

“Aray! Dahan-dahan lang naman… “ reklamo niya. Pasalamat nga siya ginagamot ko siya eh dahil ngayon lang naman ako gumamot ng iba.

“Sorry ah… Ngayon lang kasi ako gumamot ng iba…” sabay irap ko dito.

“Talaga?” nagningning bigla yung mata niya at para bang na-excite nung sinabi ko ’yun.

“Oo… “ sagot ko. Bigla naman siyang namula at umiwas ng tingin. Inagaw niya yung bulak na hawak ko bigla…

“Ako na lang…” saad niya na parang nahihiya pa.

“Sige…” saad ko.

“Sayo ’tong isa.” Abot ko sa isang chocolate flavor ice cream. Kinuha naman niya ’yon at binuksan din.

Habang naglalakad kami papunta kung saan niya iniwan yung bike niya ay hindi namin inaasahan na uulan. Arg! Wala akong payong! Kaasar!

Dahil wala kaming masilungan ay sinabi kong bilisan na lang namin. Waterproof naman ang bag ko kaya keber lang! Magtataxi na lang ako pauwi!

Mabuti na lang ay hindi nawala yung bike niya kung saan niya ’to iniwan kanina pansin ko pa na may nakasabit na plastic doon at may nakalagay pang tatlong bote ng mantika.

“Hey! Inuutusan ka pala kanina, sinamahan mo pa akong tumambay…” sabay turo ko sa plastic na nakasabit sa bike niya. Napakamot lang siya sa batok.

“Sakay ka… Sa bahay muna tayo…” saad niya. Err. Hindi na lang ako tumanggi sa sinabi niya…

Pinaupo niya ako sa harapan, mabuti na lang at medyo magaan lang ako. Malaki naman ang bike niya kaya nagkasiya kami.

“Uuwi na lang kayo ako?” natatakot na saad ko.

“Kumapit ka lang ng mahigpit… Pag sumakay ka ng taxi mamaya ng basa ka… Baka magkasakit ka…” Saad niya sa’kin at wala na akong nagawa noong pinaandar niya na yung Bike niya.

Ng makarating kami sa bahay nila dalawang palapag ito at gawa sa kahoy. Medyo may kaliitin ’to. Ngunit malinis naman tignan. Pumasok kami sa bakuran nila.

“Ma! Andito na ako!” Sigaw niya ng makatapat kami sa pintuan ng bahay nila.

“Ayyy nako! Indong! Anong oras na ah? Kiko! Kuhaan mo ng tuwalya ang kapatid mo! Oh, may kasama ka pala ah. Dalawahin mo na, Kiko! “ saad ng ginang na satingin ko ay mama niya… Maganda at morena ang mama ni Clint satingin ko ay nasa 30’s na ang edad ng mama niya. Wala pala akong alam masyado tungkol sa pamilya niya… Asan na kaya ang papa niya.

“Ma, si Kaye, kaibigan ko…” saad niya sa mama niya… Tumingin naman sa’kin ’to at ngumiti…

“Magandang hapon po… Tita?” saad ko pagbati sa kaniya.

“Tita Roselyn na lang… Iha.. Na’ko napakaganda mong dilag… Boyfriend mo ba ’yang si Indong? Na’ko binata ka na talaga Indong…” saad ng mama niya na ikinapula naman ng mukha ko.

“Ma… Mag-kaibigan lang kami… Clint ma.. Nakakahita kay Kaye…” nahihiyang saad naman ni Clint sa mama niya.

“Ayy na’ko. Bilisan mo Kiko at baka magkasakit ’tong girlpren ng kuya mo!” saad niya. Lumabas naman ang isang bata na sa tingin ko ay nasa sampung taong gulang pa lang.

“Kuya!” sigaw ng kapatid niya sa kaniya. Inabot naman sakin ng kapatid niya ang isang kulay puting tuwalya.

“Hello… Ate Ganda… Ikaw ba yung girlpren ni Kuya Indong?” tanong niya sa’kin. Pinisil ko naman ang mataba niyang pisngi. Ang cute niya!

“Na’ko pagbihisin mo na ’yan sa kwarto mo Indong, Iha, Pasensiyahan mo na at may kaliitan ’tong bahay namin…” saad ng mama niya.

“Ayy tita, walang ano man po. Okay lang po ’yun…” magalang na saad ko naman. Matapos no’n ay pinaakyat na ako ni Clint sa kwarto niya. Amoy ni Clint ang bumungad sa’kin. Lalaking lalaki ang itsura ng kwarto niya. May kaliitan man ngunit pansin ko naman na malinis at maayos ng buong bahay nila.

“Ahm. Binigay niya sa’kin yung jersey niya na may kalakihan. Lumabas siya at nahihiyang bumalik at inabot sa’kin ang panty na hindi pa naman nagagamit dahil may sticker pa. Kinuha ko naman ’yon at nagmamadaling pumasok sa CR ng kwarto niya.

Errr. Nahihiya na ako… Gusto ko ng umuwi…

TB-6

I can’t stay here longer, nahihiya ako sa kanila. Nakiligo na nga ako at nakihiram pa ako ng damit sa kanila. Nakakahiya talaga! It’s my first time to be on some body’s house. To Clint’s house specifically.

Matapos kong maligo saglit ay lumabas ako na suot na ang damit ko.

“Omo!” sigaw ko agad pagkalabas ko. Kaagad naman akong tumalikod. Omo! It was Clint. He’s topless. I’ve seen his body, unti unti ng lumalaki yung katawan niya. Gosh! Nakakahiya. Infairness, 16 pa lang siya pero unti-unti ng nagmamature yung katawa niya. Grr. Pinilit ko naman kumalma.

“Pwede ka ng humarap!” saad niya kaya humarap ulit ako. “Gago!” sigaw ko at tumalikod ulit matapos kong ibato sa kaniya yung tiwalyang ginamit ko dahil hindi pa din siya nagdadamit. Tumawa naman siya ng malakas.

“Joke lang! Eto naman, ayos na, maganda naman yung katawan ko ah.” mayabang na saad niya. Grrrr. Ang yabang! Noong humarap na ako ay nakabihis na siya…

“Kaye, dito ka na daw maghapunan sabi ni Mama. Alas-siyete na ng gabi…” saad niya ngunit kaagad naman akong tumutol.

“Hindi na Clint… Parating na din ang sundo ko…” I said… Tumango lang siya at ngumit. Nang makababa na kami ay kaagad naman akong nagpasalat sa mama niya, ng makati ko ang papa niya ay binati ko din ’to pero pansin ko hindi sila magkamukha

“So paano… Bye… Ingat ka…” saad niya.

“Thanks, Clint… Salamat para sa buong araw…” I said at ngumiti sa kaniya.

“See you sa school…” saad niya pa at pumasok na ako sasakyan. Grabe! Mabuti na lang! Pero napaka welcoming ng parents niya ah. Sa kanila siguro nag mana si Clint.

Pagkarating ko sa bahay ay hinintay pala ako nila Dad at Melissa para sa Dinner. Matapos kumain ay umakyat na ako. Its been days since nagkaayos kami ni Dad. He’s still sorry for me, I can feel it. He always check me whenever wala pa ako sa bahay at kapag anong oras ako makakauwi.

I felt not alone anymore… Dad is enough for me… ’Yon naman siguro talaga ang gusto ni Mommy for me to be happy. I’m just wishing na sana kung nasaan man ngayon si Mommy ay masaya na siya.

Though minsan I feel incomplete pero in the right time. The wounds that was made in my heart will heal in no time… I know… Everyone deserves to be happy, I guess. Matapos kong magbihis ay biglang may tumawag sa Cellphone ko. It was Clint.

“Nakauwi ka na?” He asked.

“Ahm. Yeah… Thank you nga pala. Ibabalik ko na lang ’tong Jersey mo pag nagkita tayo ulit…” I said….

“Nope… Sayo na ’yan. Madami ako niyan… Joke… Pero… Seryoso sayo na ’yan..” tila nahihiya niyang sabi.

“No… I’ll give it back to you…” I said.

“Okay… Bahala ka… So paano? Goodnight… Dream of me, ganda…” He said pero hindi ko narinig yung huling sinabi niya.

“Nighty… “ I said at binaba na ang tawag. Before I could even lay on my bed ay may tumawag ulit. It was Nathan..

“Hello…” Saad niya…

“Hi…” inaantok kong sagot. I wanted him to know na patulog na ako ngayong tumawag siya.

“I won’t make this call long, I just waned to say na Goodnight Kaye. And see you tomorrow…” nahihiyang saad ni Nathan.

“Okay. Nighty…” I answered at ibinaba na ang tawag.

Matapos ang dalawang tawag na ’yon ay napagpasiyahan ko na ding matulog.

“Bye Dad… Pasok na ako… “ I said at humalik sa pisngi ni Daddy. “Ingat anak…” He said sweetly. I just nodded to him at lumabas na ako sa pintuan ng mansiyon.

“Bye Nay…” saad ko kay Nanay Nely at Kinaway ko pa yung kamay ko.

Sa buong trenta minutos na biyahe ko papasok sa school ay nakikinig lang ako ng music. I love music. My mom loves singing and my dad loves dancing and I love both. I have trained by famous singer and dancer when I was young but I stop when my mother got in an accident. I just smile sadly with the memories I have.

Sa pagbaba ko ay sinalubong ako ni Nathan. Hmmm? Ano kayang Kailangan niya.

“Hey, Kaye… Good morning!” He smiled sweetly. Shems! Infairness ahh! Ang gwapo niya! His body is bulky unlike Clint pero I think Clint body is hotter, for me. Arg! Why I’m comparing them? Tsk! Bad girl!

“Morning…” I said. “Ano nga pa lang kailangan mo?” I asked him.

“Ahm. Wala lang… Ihahatid lang sana kita…” Err? “Ang layo kaya ng building mo mula dito.

“Nah! It’s fine… I’m happy to see you everyday…” He said suddenly. Shook? Why me? Is he playing games?

“Okay…” saad ko naman.

May mga bagay lang siyang sinasabi hanggang sa makarating na kami sa Classroom namin ay nagpaalam na din siya.

Napatingin naman ako kina Bell at may nanghuhusgang mga mata. Errr. Kaya ayokong hinahatid niya ako dito eh. Ng tingnan ko si Clint ay ngumiti siya sa’kin at nginitian ko din siya. Hmmm. Mabuti naman at good mood siya.

“Nasaan na yung damit ko?” tanong naman ni Clint. What? Kailangang bang iparinig ’yon sa lahat. Arg! Kaasar!

“Hoy… Ano iyan ahh? Bakit na sayo ang damit ni Clint?” malisyosong tanong ni Alex. Napayuko naman ako.

“Pinsan ahh. Hindi ko alam na may nangyayari na pala dito ah.” Bell said.

“Err. Wala lang ’yon..” I said. Sinamaan ko naman ng tingin si Clint at tumawa lang siya. Inaasar niya ba ako? Magaling! Naasar ako. Buset!

Tumahimik naman sila ng dumating ang adviser ng klase namin. Hmmm. Mukhang may bagong estudyante? Well, wala pa namang isang buwan simula ng pumasok kami kaya I think it’s still okay at makakaya niya pa ding ma-cope up ang lahat kung sino man siya.

“Good morning everyone…” bati ng guro namin… “Before we start our class… I want you to meet your new classmate… Ms. Aika… Please come here and introduce yourself…” saad ng guro namin…

Pumasok ang isang babae na may kaputian ang balat. Maganda siya at bumagay ang blonde na medyo kulot niyang buhok… May katangakaran din siya… Napaawang naman ang bibig ng mga kaklase kong lalaki… Maski ag mga babae ay namangha sa kaniya. Para siyang isang model mula sa ibang bansa.

“Hello… My name is Aika Ramos… Please be nice to me, I am from New York. But I’m a pure filipino at heart.” She said. Pero she really looks like a foreigner naman talaga.

Matapos no’n ay umupo siya sa tabi ni Clint… Okay? I think gusto niya pumwesto malapit sa gitna… Matapos no’n ay nagsimula na ang klase… Pag tingin ko sa gilid ko ay nakita kong nakatalikod sa akin si Clint at kinakausap niya si Aika. Okay mukhang close na sila… Sige lang… Pffft! Ano ’to kulang na lang magdikit yung mukha nila…

“Ms. Brent? Where are you looking at?” mabilis ko naman idineretso ang ulo ko. Gosh! Muntikan na ’yon… Baka akalain nila binabantayan ko sila… Err…

“Sorry, ma’am…” I said. Tumango lang siya at bumalik na ulit sa pagtuturo.

Halos lahat ng klase ay mag kausap lang sila Clint at Aika… Close na? Gano’n na ’yon? Agad agad? Kaasar!

“Guys, pwede bang sumabay sa atin si Aika… Nahihiya kasi siyang mag sabi eh…” tanong ni Clint….

Hindi ako ang sumagot bagkus ay si Alex ang sumagot sa kaniya… Habang naglalakad kami ay naguusap pa din sila ng mga kung ano-anong bagay.

“If looks can kill for sure they are probably dead by now…” nagulat naman ako sa pahayag ni Bell.

“What? Me? Seriously Bell? I don’t give a damn about them.” Naiinis na saad ko at binilisan na lang ang paglalakad.

As usual Bryan at Nathan are eating with us again… Nagulat ako ng hindi sa tabi ko umupo si Clint bagkos ay sa katabing mesa kasama sina Aika, Alex at yung kambal…

“What do you want to eat?” Nathaniel asked.

“Same pa din…” Bored na saad ko. Yes. Sila lagi ang umoorder para sa’min but unlike today hindi ko katabi si Clint. Siguro nasanay lang akong kumain na katabi siya.

Arg! Kaasar! Gano’n ba siya sa lahat ng mga kakakilala pa lang niya. Pero nagulat akong biglang may naglapag ng baunan sa bakanteng tabi ko. It was Clint.

“Ba’t nandito ka?” I asked him medyo iritado ako ng dahil sa hindi ko maipaliwanag na dahilan.

“Hala! Nagseselos ka ba?” mapang-asar na saad niya. ASA! Kami ba? ASA!

Tumawa lang ako ng pagak at tinarayan ko siya…

“Sinabi ko lang yung mga rules and regulations sa school… You know… As one of the scholar ng school na ’to isa ’yon sa mga responsibilities namin. To welcome the new students here…” paliwanag niya. Medyo lumuwag naman ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

“Nagtatanong ba ako?” nakataas na kilay na saad ko sa kaniya. Pinisil niya lang ang pisngi ko at biglang tumawa…

“Cute mong magselos, ganda…” bulong na saad niya.. Bigla naman akong may kakaibang naramdaman sa tiyan ko.. Fudge! What’s that! Omo!

Umiwas lang ako ng tingin dahil nakatingin pala sa’kin si Bell.. Kinausap ko na lang si Bell tungkol sa mga projects na kailangang ipasa…

Nagsimula na kaming kumain ng dumating na sina Bryan at Nathan…

“Thank you…” saad ko kay Nathan ng inabot niya sa’kin ang pagkain ko…

“Simula pala sa susunod na linggo hindi na kami makakasabay sa inyo babe… Magsastart na ang OJT namin… Mamimiss kitang kasabay kumain…” saad ni Bryan kay Bell.. Pfft. This couple is really something… Kulang na lang langgamin sila..

Umubo naman si Nathan..

“Wag mo kong masyadong mamimiss, Kaye ahh…” saad naman ni Nathan bigla. What? As if…

“As if…” kumento naman ng katabi ko pero mukhang hindi ’yon narinig ni Nathan at pinagpatuloy na ang pagkain.

Matapos no’n ay bumalik na kami sa kaniya-kaniyang classroom namin. This time Clint is on my side at kausap naman ni Aika sina Karl at Alex. While Carl is just reading books, as usual.

Habang pabalik kami ng Classroom ay nagpaalam muna ako sa kanila na mag-CR, unexpectedly, Aika joined me.

“Ahm… I hope that we can be friends… Your a transgender right? You look so beautiful…” Nahihiyang saad ni Aika sa’kin. Well she looks nice naman.

“Oo naman. We can be friends and Thank you ang ganda mo din.” nginitian ko naman siya pagkasabi ko no’n.

Habang naghuhugas ng kamay ay lumabas din si Aika sa isa sa mga cubicle pansin ko ang pagtitig niya sa’kin that made me unease.

“I think Clint likes you…” Biglang saad niya. Nagulat naman ako dahil sa sinabi niya.

“He always talks about you kanina… Kaya gusto kitang makilala pa…” she said and smile to me.

“I don’t think so… We’re just friends…” sagot ko naman at tinignan din siya mula sa salamin..

“Do you like him?” she caught me off guard. Do I like him? Do I like Clint na ba? Hindi ko alam… Basta isa lang ang alam ko… . Komportable ako sa presensiya ni Clint… Whwenever he is around I feel safe and protected.

“No…” I answered then smile to her…

“Then good, I’ll have hin then…” she talk in the air… Hindi ko naman naintindihan yung ibinulong niya.

“Ha? Are you saying something?” I asked.

She just smiled at lumabas na kami. Weird…

Saturday morning came, Clint and I decided to make our Research Project on their house. I’m just wearing a ripped jeans and a black sleeveless as the top. Since medyo mainit naman ang panahon ay ganito na lang ang isinuot ko.

Pagkababa ko ng sasakyan ay sinabihan ko na lang si Manong Karding na mag tetext na lang ako kapag pauwi na ako. He agreed.

As I get out of the car the smiling face of Clint caught me, I smiled back.

“Hey! Have you eaten breakfast?” He asked beforehand. I just nodded with his question and he make way inside their house. I brought my pink laptop since we’re doing a research. Clint asked me if we could do our Research on my house but I refused and we decided to do it on his.

As I enter their house his mother is watching TV on their sala.

“Good morning po, tita at tita…” magalang na bati ko sa mga magulang niya.

“Magandang umaga din, Iha… Kumain ka na ba?” tanong ng mama niya…

“Opo, tita… Thank you po.” I answered…. Matapos no’n ay umakyat na kami sa kwarto niya.

Halos walang pinagbago, malinis at maganda pa din ang may kaliitang kwarto niya.

“Sorry, wala kaming aircon…” nahihiyang saad niya. Napangiti naman ako ng dahil sa sinabi niya.

“Pffftt. No need to worry… Okay lang iyan… May fan namam eh… So ano let’s start?” I asked him.

We denominate the works with each other. Clint has his own laptop so we both are focusing on our works when suddenly we heard a knock on his door.

“Kuya Indong! Nandiyan na ba yung Krass mo? Sino ba ’yon, Kaye?” saad ng kapatid niya sa kabilang bahagi ng pinto. Napatawa naman ako ng dahil do’n, mga bata talaga.

Mabilis naman siyang tumakbo at binuksan ang pintuan narinig ko na parang may sinasabi si Clint sa kapatid niya pero hindi ko naman marinig. Napakot naman sa ulo si Kiko.

Inabot ni Kiko sa kaniya ang Juice at mga Biscuits na satingin ko ay para sa’min.

“Eyyy, eto lang yung mero’n sa baba…” nahihiyang saad niya…

“May gusto ka bang kainin?” He asked. Umiling lang ako at kumuha ng biscuit sa tray.

“Thank you dito…” I said. At binalik ko na ang atensiyon ko sa paggawa ng Reseach namin. Since it would be presented three days from now.

Makalipas ng sampung minuto ay nagpahinga muna ako. Inikot ko ang paningin ko sa loob ng kwarto niya. Halos lahat ay panlalaki kabaligtaran ng buong kwarto ko.

Naagaw ng isang picture frame ang atensiyon ko. It’s their family picture. Nasa bed side niya ’to at masuri kong titignan ’to.

Kapag titignan mo ay hindi talaga magkamukha si Clint at ang papa niya. Weird naman… Pero sabagay baka mas nakuha niya lang yung features ng mama niya.

“Ang gwapo ko diyan ’no?” He said.

“Ha? Saan banda?” malokong saad ko naman sa kaniya. Napasimangot naman ang mukha niya.

“Pfft. Crush mo lang ako eh…” bulong niya sa hangin.

“Ba’t hindi kayo magkamukha ng papa mo?” I suddenly blurted out. Tinakpan ko naman ang bibig ko kaagad ng marealize ko kung anong tinanong ko sa kaniya. What? Kaye! Stupid Kaye!

“Ahh. He’s my step-dad… Half-brother ko naman si Kiko…. Pero he never treated me na anak ng iba… He treated me as his own… Kaya sobrang saya ko pa din…” sagot niya. Napatingin naman ako sa mga mata niya at nakita ko ang lungkot doon na kaagad niyang iwinaksi.

“Nasaan na yung tunay na papa mo?” I asked hesitantly…

“He’s alive. Pero never kaming lumapit ni mama sa kaniya… I don’t hate him… I just…. Nevermind…” He said at hindi na tinuloy po ang gusto niyang sabihin.

“You know dati hindi ko nakikitaan ng saya iyang mga mata mo… Ngayon ang saya ko… kasi feeling ko lagi kang masaya…. Mas maganda ka kaya kapag nakangiti.” He said suddenly trying to avert the topic. Kaya sinakyan ko na lang din siya.

“Yeah. My father and I, we just reconciled recently…” I said cheerfully… Yeah… I’m Happy for that.

“Talaga… Sana lagi ka lang masaya ahh…” he said.

“Alam mo akala ko nga kaya hindi mo ako nirereplyan kasi bigla kitang iniwan that time… Naalala mo ba yung sinabi ko na na coma yung papa ko? Yung time na ’yon nagising na siya…” masayang sabi niya.

Tila naman bumalik ang alaala ng araw na ’yon. Nice. That was the time my mothef died… Gusto ko sanang idagdag pero I chose not to.

“Hey! Ba’t bigla ka nanamang lumungkot diyan? Cheer up!” He said, I just smiled and continue my work…

Well, atleast I’m trying to open up my self on Clint. I know… I’m starting to feel towards him… A feeling that I can’t explain yet… I actually feel this the first time we met but was hidden because of my sadness and pain.

“Amen…” saad ng lahat. Nasa mesa na kami ngayon para kumain ng tanghalian… Katabi ko si Clint sa dulong bahagi ng mesa. At nasa kabila naman si Kiko at ang mama niya at nasa kabisera naman ang papa niya.

“Sige na… Kumain na tayo….” saad ng mama niya at nagsimula na silang mag sandok ng pagkain. It’s my favorite again! Pakbet! Wah! But I can’t maje my self look like PG. Never ’no.

Nahiya naman ako ng maalal na on flick pala ang kilay ko ngayon. Paranh gusto kong takpan! Errr!

Nagulat ako ng si Clint ang naglagay ng pagkain sa plato ko. Kinurot ko lang siya sa ilalim ng mesa dahik nakatingin sa kaniya ang mga magulang niya pero he just ignored them. Errr.

Habang kumakain ay naguusap ang mama at papa niya. Si Kiko naman ay makahuligang nakatingin sa’kin. Para bang inoobserbahan ako.

“So? Ilang months na ba kayo, Iha, ng anak ko?” biglang saad ng papa niya. Bigla naman akong nasamid ng dahil sa sinabi ng papa niya. Gano’n din si Clint.

“Pa! Ma si papa oh…” saad niya sa mama niya. Napatawa naman ang mama niya. Nakakahiyaaa.

“Hindi po kami, tito at tita…” nahihiyang saad ko dahil baka kung ano pang isagot ni Clint…

“Ang bagal mo naman, Clint… Kung ako sayo unahan mo na yung ibang manliligaw ni Kaye… Tingnan mo ka’y gandang bata… Bagay na bagay kayo… Clint… “ saad ng papa niya.

“Bagay daw tayo…” bulong niya sa tenga ko…

Nahiya naman ako…. At ramdam ko ang pamumula ng mukha ko.

“Tao tayo…” at tinarayan ko naman siya… Natawa naman ang mama’t papa niya pati si Kiko ay natawa na din.

“Na’ko kumain muna tayo…” saad ng mama niya… Nagpatuloy kami sa pagkain, minsan ay nagtatawanan sila dahil tinutukso nila kami.. Kaya tumatawa na lang din ako…

It’s nice to feel this… Yung hospitalilty ng parents niya. It’s just so overwhelming. I’m happy! I really am! Gaano man kaliit ang table nila ay hindi na mahalaga… Ang mahalaga ay magkakasama silang buong pamilya… Hindi na din ako nagtataka kung bakit mabuting tao si Clint… Mabuting tao ang nagpalaki sa kaniya…

Napatingin muli ako sa katabi ko… Clint is maturing… His happy eyes, yung makapal niyang kilay yung matangos niyang ilong… Yung labi niyang mapupula… Ang gwapo niya!

Do I like Clint na nga ba? Hayss. Mahirap pa naman ang umasa sa panahon ngayon uso ang ghosting…

TB-7

Hindi natin mamalayan na ang oras ay mabilis na tumatakbo.  Para bang sa isang kisapmata ang oras ay nagbabago.  Unti-unti tayong makakaramdam ng saya hanggang sa maghilom ang sugat ng kahapon.  Satingin ko, unti-unti ng bumabalik ang mga ngiti sa aking labi.

Hindi man gano’n kabilis ang pagtanggap sa mga pangyayari na hindi natin gusto ay unti-unti nating matutunan tanggapin na nagyari na ang mga bagay na ’yon.  Kailangan lang natin panatilihin ang lakas ng loob sa ating sarili. Akala ko noong mawala ang mama ko ay hindi ko na matutunan pang ngumiti.  Oo, masakit, sobrang sakit… Pero hindi naman niya gusto na manatili tayong nakasadlak sa kalungkutan.  Alam ko,  na ayaw ng mama ko na manatili ang galit, lungkot at sakit sa puso at pagkatao ko.

Simula ng nagkaayos kami ni Daddy ay mas naging matibay ang pag sasamahan namin.  Kay Melissa? Hindi ko man siya lubos na matanggap bilang parte ng pamilya ay unti-unti ko na siyang kinikilala pero gaya nga ng sabi ko isa lang ang mommy ko, kahit wala na siya ay mananatili siya sa puso ko.

When my Dad, celebrated his birthday last month we stayed on our private resort abroad. We went to different places for a week together with Melissa and her baby. It was an amazing escapade since school has been busy since then. But when I cameback in school, projects, activities and etc.  kills me.  Just kiddin’! Clint help me alot when I came back, he became my tutor for a week,  he insist it!

Clint and I became best of friends.  We got closer with each other.  We help each other to surpass our weaknesses. He’s my boy bestfriend! We became closer since we are partner in our Projects. I became closer also to his fam especially with his brother, Kiko.  I treat Kiko as my little brother even I have one…

Things are far different since then,  I became open to my friends. I’m like ‘hurt them and I’ll hurt you more!’. Yes,  I became protective to them since they are protective on me also.  Aika… she’s nice…  But sometimes she acts so weird. Napansin din ’yon nila Bell,  when Clint’s around, she really acts different…

But I just ignored it.  We’re starting to dream together… Foreseeing the future we wanted to have.  At the moment, Clint and I, we’re more than friends,  I guess.  No commitment but I know that we’re more than friends…  I’m happy and comfortable when I’m with him and he feels the same way towards me.

We never talk about our feelings for each other but we’re on the ‘getting-to-know stage’.  Yes,  I like him, I really do.  But we don’t hurry things at the moment. And I like it this way.

I started taking HRT two months ago after I had my check up on my personal Endocrinologist. Dra. Stephanie Buztamante,  a transwoman, she specialized in helping transwoman to have the body they wanted to have.  She’s young and pretty,  and I admire for her passiom in working.  She’s indeed commited in her work.

My body slowly developed a small breast. My skin became more satin soft and some changes are occuring since then.  But sometimes I feel breast tenderness, nausea and leg cramps, but as for Dra. Hillton. It’s normal. Though it would take time to see the full result of HRT,  I’m still happy that step by step, my body, is becoming a woman’s.

The satisfaction that I’m feeling right now is beyond happiness. Yeah, as my body feels more correct I became more confident and strong-willed. Every transgender would tell you the same thing.  We’re like, we’re mistakenly put in a wrong body of a boy.  But it doesn’t matter anymore since I’m now starting my transition. I know it would take a lot of courage, patience and willingness but I love to do it.  My body, my say! I’m a woman and will always be!

Moodswings attacks me sometimes but Clint is a great help, he really is! I began pinching his cheeks whenever I feel that way. But he never complains. Yah! He is that good! But when feel Aika is flirting with him sometimes,  but knowing him as a good man,  he never did anything about it, and it makes my bloodboil to another level.

What could I do? We don’t have any label just a Mutual understanding! And cut that! He never ask me anyway to be his girlfriend and that sucks!

“Bess,  let’s go… Andiyan na sila…” Bell said on the other side of the door.  We had a sleep over last night on the Mansion but girls only. Today is the first day of our semester break,  on the third week of October. Bryan wanted to spend vacay with Bell and Bell wated to spend vacay with us,  so we decided to go on this trip. Bryan and Nathan is busy with their On the Job training so they are happy that we’re having this one.

Habang naglalakad papunta sa Van na gagamitin namin papunta sa Private Resort nila Bell sa Batangas ay biglang lumabas sa Van ang mga boys at kinuha ang mga gamit namin.  Errr! Karl help alex with his things,  Bryan help Bell with her things and Clint help me.  I told you!  We don’t have a label!  But we’re like this!  Iwas lang sa paasa!

We’re using Bryan’s family Van for this trip. Here go Batangas… It’s our first trip together since the school year started.

“Guys… Aika is going with us with his brother…” Bell said suddenly… Okay lang… Sana maging okay lang ang lahat. Tumango naman ang lahat dahil okay naman sa kanila si Aika,  pero sa’kin minsan oo minsa hindi… Errr…

“She will be following the Van… She’s with his older brother na kaibigan namin…” saad ni Bryan….

Yeah. His older brother is a close friend of Byran and Nathan… Errr.

I sit with Clint on my left and Nathan on my right we’re on the second row. Awkward. Bryan is sitting with bell on the front. While Alex is sitting with the twins at the third row. Carl is just listening on music while reading books. Habang nagaasaran naman ang dalawa niyang katabi. Since I’m a little sleepy ay nilagay ko sa leeg ang cute kong pillow head. It’s Hello Kitty! Nagulat ako ng biglang nilagay ni Clint ang isang pair ng earphone niya sa’kin.

“Kung tayo ay matanda na

Sana’y di tayo magbago

Kailan man

Nasaan ma’y ito ang pangarap ko.“

Napatingin naman ako sa kaniya. Mahinang sumasabay siya sa kanta at sa tingin ko ako lang ang nakakarinig para bang kami na lang ngayon ang nasa loob ng Van habang nakikinig sa kantang pinapakinggan namin.  Weird… There’s something on my stomach! Butterflies! Parang buong zoo na nga ata.

“Makuha mo pa kayang

Ako’y hagkan at yakapin, ooh

Hanggang pagtanda natin

Nagtatanong lang sa iyo.“

I feel my heart it’s pounding fast while looking on his side view.  Yung makapal niyang kilay, yung matangos niyang ilong,  iyong perfect jaw line niya,  he’s just so special!

“Ako pa kaya’y ibigin mo

Kung maputi na ang buhok ko?“

Sa sumunod na linya ay tumingin siya sa’kin . Omo!  Parang kami lang ang nasa loob ng van.

“Pagdating ng araw

Ang ’yong buhok

Ay puputi na rin

Sabay tayong mangangarap

Ng nakaraan sa ’tin“

Medyo lumapit siya sa’king inuupuan at isinandal niya ang ulo ko sa ulo niya.  Omo! My heart! Ba’t ka ganiyan Clint! Bakit? It’s killing me! It’s making me nervous.

“Ang nakalipas ay ibabalik natin, ooh

Ipapaalala ko sa ’yo

Ang aking pangako

Na ang pag-ibig ko’y laging sa ’yo

Kahit maputi na ang buhok ko“

On the last part of the song… I just close my eyes and feel the breeze.  The ambiance it’s refreshing and cooling! I wish na humaba pa ang oras na ganito lang kami. I wish that this happiness that I’m feeling right now, would last forever…  I pray and I wish…

That feeling,  the connection you are feeling for someone… The connection na hindi mi kailangag madaliin. I like how are we right now… We’re learning the flaws about each other without any commitments. Siguro the best way to build a foundation with someone it must start with respect and communication… ’Yong alam niyo parehas na lahat ng steps na dinaadanan niyo parehas ay sigurado.

We didn’t try it on fast mode…  We wanted to be sure about everything… I mean, I’m a transwoman, I’m not like any other girls.  But one thing for sure about him,  he sees me as a woman.  He respects me as a woman.  Sa halos ilang buwan na magkasama kami,  napaka marespeto niyang tao.  Lalo na sa magulang niya at sa mama niya.  He’s! I just love how our relationship is going…

I felt him caressing my hair with his hands softly, I just close my eyes peacefully. I suddenly wanted to sleep,  I feel safe and protected with my head laying on his shoulder… I’m falling deeply in to this man beside me.

TB-8

If you wanted to really feel this chapter, kindly play Your Song. Whoa! Thank you!

Music: Your Song by Parokya ni Edgar

….

Nagising ako sa masusuyong tapik sa ulo ko.  Pagkabukas ko ng aking mga mata ay ang gwapong mukha ni Clint ang bumungad sa’kin. He’s smiling ear to ear. I just love this sight! I really do!

“Let’s go sleepyhead, ganda mo talaga…” He said sweetly. Yeah…  He became that sweet simula ng naging open ako sa kaniya.  He knows my flaws very well at nararamdaman kong tanggap niya ’yon…

Bandang hapon na pala kami nakarating sa lugar na ’to. May kadiliman na ang paligid.

I look around the Van at kaming dalawa na lang ang nasa loob ng Van… Nathaniel knows that I like Clint, yes,  he knows,  I told him directly.  Dahil nararamdaman kong iba ang tingin sakin ni Nathan. He accept it gladly,  so we became just friends.

Habang inaayos ko ang aking sarili, napansin kong may mga hiblang nakatakas mula sa pagkakatali ko sa buhok ko. Matapos no’n ay napagpasayahan na naming bumaba.  Pagkapasok namin sa Villa nila Bell ay nakaupo silang lahat sa mahabang upuan na tila ba pagod na pagod sa biyahe….

“Heyy.. There… Kayo na ba?” Tanong ni Aika… Nagulat naman ako na nandito na din pala si Aika at ang kapatid niyang si Marco.  This resort is owned by Bell’s father. It is an ancestral resort na matatagpuan sa Batangas.  May tatlong Villa na naka tayo dito.  Pangatlong beses ko na dito kaya medyo kabisado ko na ang buong lugar.

Matapos magpahinga saglit, ang caretaker ng bahay na ’to ay ang dalawang matandang mag-asawa, si nanay Deng at tatay Nato.  Sila ang pinagkakatiwalaan nila tita Delia sa buong resort nila.

Ang kaliwang kwarto na katabi ko ay ang kay Bell at ang kanan naman ay ang Clint.  Well,  atleast,  we could relax here.  Nakakasawa din kasi sa Maynila lalo na’t hindi masyadong fresh ang hangin.  Dito ramdam mo ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin.

Ngayong gabi ay napagpasiyahan namin na gumawa ng Bon Fire… Matapos naming maghapunan na hinanda nila Nanay Deng ay napagpasiyahan na naming lumabas.  Dala nila ang canned beers at iba’t ibang snacks na binili namin on the way here.  Napagalaman kong huminto pala sila sa Convenient store kanina.

Sa paglabas ko pa lang ng pinto ay kaagad na naramdaman ko ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin naka Tshirt na puti at short lang ako kaya nakaramdam agad ako ng lamig.  Kumapit naman sa siko si Alex…

“Ang lamig… Beks…” saad niya. Tumango lang ako. Nauna na sina Marco at Nathan sa tabi ng dagat… Mula sa kinatatayuan namin ay nagliliwanag ang paligid dahil sa repleksiyon na nagmumula sa buwan!  Ang ganda lang! Halos magkatulad ang resort namin sa Canada at resort nila Bell dito sa Batangas. Masarap ang ginhawang binibigay ng mga pinong buhangin sa mga paa namin…

May mga upuan na kapalibot sa ginawang Bon Fire nila Marco at Bryan…. Nakapaikot kaming lahat….

Ako, Alex, Aika, Bell, Bryan,  Carl,  Marco, Nathan, Karl at Clint.

May dalang gitara si Bryan, Nathan, Marco at Clint. I guess tonight will be a happy and sleepless night. I hope nothing will go the wrong way. Magkamukhang magkamukha si Marco at Aika,  pero mas mukha lang matanda si Marco since nasa 20’s na din siya.

Nag simula si Bryan sa pag tugtog ng gitara niya at sumunod naman ang iba.  Sa pagtugtog pa lang ng gitara ni Clint ay ramdam ko ang pagtitig niya sa’kin but I don’t dare my self to look on him too. Iniiwasan kong mapatingin sa direksiyon niya dahil nararamdaman ko ang kaba sa pagtitig niya sa’kin. Gosh!

“It took one look

Then forever laid out in front of me

One smile then I died

Only to be revived by you.“

Sabay kanta nila habang nagigitara.  Woah!  If others will see us, I know,  it might look corny!  But this, all of this, will be a memory of a happiness to be kept forever.

“There I was

Thought I had everything figured out

Goes to show just how much I know

’Bout the way life plays out.“

Ramdam ko ang pagtitig sa’kin ni Clint. But I dare not to look on him too, yung kabang nararamdaman ko sa Van ay mas lumala pa ngayon.  I can’t look at him! I just can’t! Kahit na apat silang kumakanta ay boses lang nu Clint ang naririnig ko.  Corny ba?  Wala lang kayong lablayf. Char.

“I take one step away

Then I find myself coming back to you

My one and only, one and only you, ooh

Now I know.“

I felt his eyes are staring on me intently.  Sinubukan kong Silipin siya and I’m right.  He’s looking on me! Gosh! Kinikilig ako!

Ramdam ko ang emosyon niya sa pagkanta.  He haven’t heard me sing yet,  but me I’ve heard him sing a lot of time. Maraming beses na but it always feels new and amazing.

“That I know not a thing at all

Except the fact that I am yours

And that you are mine.“

But I can’t help myself to look on him… Kahit na anong pilit kong hindi tumingin sa direksiyon niya… Kahit na i-focus ko kay Alex ang atensiyon ko,  I just can’t.

“Ooh

If you told me that this wouldn’t be easy

And no

I’m not one to complain

I take one step away.“

Gosh!  As I look on him,  I felt that my heart is tugged by cupid’s arrow deeply, I thought I can’t feel this way.  But I am a human!  Hooray! My heart it beats so fast.

“Then I find myself coming back to you

My one and only, one and only

I take one step away

Then I find myself coming back to you

My one and only, one and only

You.“

Tulad sa Van kanina ay parang kami na lang ulit ang nasa buong resort na ’to.  On how he moves his lips while singing, yung pag-alon ng adams apple niya.  It just kills me!  My gosh!  He’s indeed handsome! I can’t help my self but to fall for him,  really.

In an instant I felt his soft lips against mine,  it was just a touch of lips, he’s not moving, I just love it this way… I really do… Para bang huminto ang paligid…  I close my eyes as we kissed.

Nagkahiwalay lang kami ng humiyaw ang mga kasama namin… Gosh!  Nakakahiya! Nandito pala sila!  Nandito sila all this time! Kita ang saya at pagkamangha sa mukha nila but I felt my cheeks redden.  Dahil sa hiya ay tumayo ako at mabilis na umalis sa bilog na ginawa namin…

Wah!  He’s my first kiss for Pete’s sake! I love him!  Confirmed but at this moment hindi ko na kayang magtagal pa doon.  Mabilis akong naglakad. Hindi na ako tumingin patalikod pa.  Nakakahiya! Nakakahiya talaga!

Kahit na tinawag nila at ni Clint ang pangalan ko ay hindi na ako lumingon pa. Nakakahiya talaga!

Pero bago pa ako makapasok sa Villa ay malalakas na kamay ang humila sa’kin. He hugged me. He caressed my hair while hugging me… Is it fast?  I don’t know!  But I think he will ask me to be his girlfriend na? Omo!  Ayokong umasa….

“Don’t be shy,  ganda…”  malambing na saad niya.  Hindi ko na malayan na nakayakap na din pala ang mga kamay ko sa kaniya. I can feel his chest, his heart is pounding fast same with mine.

Wah! Is it because of me? This man!  Undeniably, I really love him…

“I won’t ask you yet to be my girlfriend… I just wanted you to know that I really meant that kiss…  I’m sorry…  If I kissed you… But I mean it… I really love all things about you…  I don’t know when it started but every time I’m with you,  I can’t contain my heart. When I ask you to be my girlfriend I wanted it to be special…  I wanted to make it perfect…  Understood? Will you wait for me…  Ganda?” He said sweetly while his big arms are around my body.  He’s tall! Indeed!

I just nodded with his words… I believe him…  That kiss wouldn’t be a waste….

“Would you still want to comeback to them? I’ll go with you, wherever you want to go…” he said  then let me go with his hugs.

Pffftt.  Corny… Pero I will wait…  I can wait…

Matapos no’n ay bumalik kami kina Bell,  if it weren’t for them,  I wouldn’t come back… But I don’t wanna spoil the night. Bumalik naman ako sa inuupuan ko at katabi ko pa din si Clint.  Kinakantiyawan nila kami… Pag balik namin ay wala si Aika at ang kapatid niya.

“Nag walk-out si ate mo… Hindi yata kinaya ang ganda mo…” natatawang saad ni Alex sa’kin.

Well,  I don’t wanna think about her… I just want to enjoy this night… And I will enjoy this night…

Author’s Note

Hello Gals!   This is not an upadate!

I just wanted you to know that I’m not a pro-writer but I’m so happy to be with you,  Gals!❤❤❤

Let’s be together ’till the end.  Thank you! ❤🙏😁

TB-9

As I open my eyes,  the morning sun rays from the window envelopes me.  I felt energized! Yesterday was one of the special day I’ve ever had in my life.  Me and my friends are happily enjoying the night together to the fullest.  Though Aika and her brother didn’t came back anymore,  it was still oozing with happiness and joy.

I stretched my arms and yawn.  I was about to get up in the bed when someone barged in my room.  It was Clint.  He’s holding a tray on his hands. I instantly hid my face on the pillow.  Gosh!  My hair is a mess!  And my face,  I wish hindi masyadong napasarap ang tulog ko.  Anong oras na ba?

“Don’t hide your face ganda,  you will always be beautiful in my eyes…” He said sweetly.  Oh gosh!  He’s a certified sweet talker!

“Come on… Breakfast in bed?” He said.  I fixed my hair and hoping that my face is in the best condition right now.

“We already finished breakfast… I was about to wake you up earlier but you are beautifully asleep.” He said.

“Talaga? Galing ka na sa kwarto ko?  You should have wake me up earlier…” I said.  Pero sabagay anong oras na din kasi kami na tapos kanina hindi kagabi, yes,  natapos kaming mag bon fire hanggang sa mawalan na yun ng apoy.

“Yup!  As always you look beautiful..” Errr. Is he courting me?

“Ba’t may paganyan?  Pwede naman akong kumain na lang sa dining area eh.” Nahihiyang saad ko.

“No,  ganda… I prepared it myself… Come on kumain ka na…” he said.  Matapos niyang ayusin ang tray sa kama ay tinitigan ko muna kung gaano karami ang pag kaing nilagay niya sa plato ko.  May gatas pa ahh.

“Are you courting me, Clint?” diretsahang saad ko.  Baka mamaya hindi naman pala umasa pa ako..

“Hmmm. What do you think ganda?” Errr. Is he? Gaya nga ng sabi ko walang kami.  Akala ko nga tatanungin niya na ako kagabi but he didn’t.

“Tsk.  Bahala ka…” saad ko and I heard he chuckled.

“Wait…  Mauubos ko ba ’to?” I asked dahil pang dalawang tao yung pagkain na binigay niya.  I’m actually on a diet kaya mine-maintain ko ang lahat.  I even excercise a lot. Lalo na’t my dad provided me equipments inside our house.

“Hmmm.  I’ll eat what will be left on your plate…” He said.  I just nodded on him. ’cause seriously it’s very impossible na maubos ko ’to…

Habang kumakain ay pansin kong nakatingin siya sa’kin kaya medyo na concious ako.

“Ahm..  Can you please look on the other way?” I asked.

Umiling lang siya at patuloy pa din akong binabantayan habang kumakain. Err. I’m not a kid anymore.

Matapos kong kumain ay gaya nga ng sinabi niya ay inubos niya ang natira ko.  Thank God! Matapos kong magpasalamat sa kaniya ay lumabas na siya.  Brunch na pala yung kinain ko dahil it’s already afternoon.

Matapos kong maligo at magbihis ah naglagay ako sun screen sa balat. If I’m not mistaken maliligo kami ngayon sa beach.  Siguro mamaya na lang ako magpapalit ng damit.

I put a minimal make up on my face and I’m ready to go.  Ngunit bago pa ako makalabas ay pumasok sa kwarto ko si Bell she’s wearing a red robe.

“What are you wearing?” she blurted out as she saw my clothing.

“Come on,  Kaye…. Hindi tayo pupunta ng Mall…  Maliligo tayo sa dagat…” natatawang saad niya.

“Errr.  Akala ko mamaya pa?” I asked.

“Come on… Magpalit ka na… Bilis… Nandoon na kaya ang iba…” she said.

Wala naman akong nagawa kundi kunin ang swimsuit na binili namin ni Bell last week from their shop…  Errr.  She chose it for me.. Sabi ko ayaw ko ne’to but she said it’s perfect daw for my body. 

Matapos kong magpalit ay tiningnan ko muna ang reflection ko sa salamin.  My white satin soft skin is highlighted with my yellow monokini mermaid cut one piece swim suit.  it was figure hugging. My developing breasts fits perfectly on this. It emphatized my slim body and white long legs.  Errr.  Do I look revealing? I wore my black robe to cover my body.

“Bell…”  I called her out as I get out of the comfort room. Bell is just sitting peacefully while doing something on her phone… Napukaw ko naman ang atensiyon niya. “Parang ayoko na lang…” nahihiyang saad ko.

“Patingin nga…  My gash couz!  I know you will nailed it!  Araw-araw ka namang nag wowork out eh.  For sure boys out there will be hills over head for you,  ganda mo kaya… Pera lang si Bryan, ofcourse…” she said then chuckled…

Pinakita ko naman sa kaniya ang suot ko. Her jaw dropped as she saw what I’m wearing.

“Hindi ba?  Papalitan ko na lang tala…”  bago ko pa matapos ang sasabihin ko ay napatakip na ako ng tenga dahil sa biglaang pag tili ni Bell.

“Gosh!  Is that body really yours?  Grabe ka couz!  Kinabog mo ako! Nakakainggit ka kaya… Ang ganda… Bagay na bagay sayo…” She said. Okay talaga ba?  Minsan kasi may pag KA-OA si Bell eh.

“Halika na… Wag ka ng magpalit… Let’s go…  Pa’no pa kaya pag 18 ka na…  My gash manang mana ka talaga sa’kin…

Ibinalik ko ang itim na roba na suot ko. Bell is wearing a two piece for her swimwear.

Habang naglalakad ay hindi ko pa ding maiwasan na hindi mahiya kahit na may roba pa ako sa katawan…

“Nasa labas na sila…” saad niya at hinila na niya ako…. Binilisan niya naman ang paglalakad hanngang sa makarating kami malapit kung nasaan sila.

Naglalaro sina Clint,  Alex at kambal ng volleyball habang sina Nathan, Bryan at Marco ay nagtatampisaw na ng tubig.

Saktong pagdating namin ay dumating din si Aika…

“Hey there…” saad niya at kumaway sa’min ni Bell.. Kumaway din kami ni Bell sa kaniya… Kumaway din siya kina Clint…

As I saw Clint his eyes are fixed on mine… He’s wearing a Hawaiian board short at nakasando siya pang itaas. Omo!  Anim nga pala silang lalaki dito hindi kasama si Alex dahil pusong babae din siya.

Karl and his twin is wearing a blue and green board short respectively. Ang tatlo naman na mas matanda sa’min ay nakausuot lang ng board short habang walang damit pang itaas.  I must say, they are gym’s favorite visitors.

“Hey! Maligo na tayo…” saad ni Alex at sumama na din sa kanila. Bell immediately removed her robe and as expected Bryan’s eyes enlighten with happiness. Err boys…

Sumunod naman sina Karl at Carl. Pero si Clint he just stood on the side..  Lalapit na sana siya sa’kin pero bigla na lang nagtanggal ng robe si Aika.  She’s sexy, I must say. Her white skin is shining… She’s wearing a two-piece.

Boys were amazed by her looks but not Bell and Alex. I laughed inside my head.  Bell give me a meaningful look. As I look where Clint was stood up,  she looks on Aika boredly tht made my heart happy on some ways.

Err.  Nahiya na tuloy akong mag tanggal ng Robe…

“Come on…  Halika na… Kaye…” mapanghamong saad ni Aika at tumakbo na sa asul na dagat.

Tila ba inaabangan din nila ang pagtatanggal ko ng Robe..  Err kailangan talaga nakatingin sa’kin? I thought.

I look on them boredly at tinaggal ko na ang robe ko.  Kahit na nakakahiya…  Laban lang…

As I removed my robe, I heard some of them gasps. I look to the people who unexpectedly their jaw dropped as they saw me.  Nathan looks… Err.  His a boy anyway… While Bell looks on me proudly at nag thumbs-up pa.

Bago pa ako makalakad papunta sa dagat ay humarang si Clint sa harap ko.  His eyes were mixed emotions. I can’t guess what he wanted to tell me…  But his eyes suddenly darken. What?  Do I look like ugly? Oh Gosh!  Sabi na nga ba eh…

“Do you really need to wear that?” He asked in a serious way. Why?  May problema ba?

“Why?  Do I look bad on this?” nalulungkot na saad ko and I took a glimpse on my body. Errr.

“Ofcourse no!  It’s just that marami kasing lalaki dito…” nahihiyang saad niya pero pinipilit pa din niyang maging seryoso.

“Ha? Kaibigan naman natin sila eh.. “ Is he overprotective?

“Okay…  I let you wear that…” He said. At may kinuha sa Beach bed na kulay itim na tela.

“Put this on your waist…” He said.  Errr?  Really?  Do I need concent now? Pero sabagay medyo daring and revealing nga ang suot ko.

“Okay…” saad ko and his face suddenly enlighten and smile ear to ear.  Is he being possesive?  Omo!  I love this side of him!

Matapos no’n ay binigyan lang ako nila Bell ng nagtatanong na tingin but I just shrugged. Since medyo malayo kami sa kanila ay hindi nila narinig ang napagusapan namin.

Nakita ko naman ang pagtaray ni Aika?  What?  Why?  Did I do something wrong to her? O namalikmata lang ako?  But as I look on her she’s just wearing a straight face at tumalikod na.

Errr. Bahala siya diyan… Basta I know, I didn’t do something to her…. Siguro kung yung dating ako na walang pake sa mundo.  Nasampal ko na siya…  But that’s not me any more.

I won’t go that level…

Matapos ang halos ilang oras na pagbababad ay unti-unti na ding nagdilim ang langit. Nakapaglaro na kami ng volleyball at wala naman masiyado naging problema… Sa pagdilim nito ay napagdesisyonan na naming umahon at bumalik na sa Villa.

We eat outside the Villa.  Yesterday they drink light alcohol but I think tonight boys will be drinking hard drinks.  Err.  I’m not yet allowing my self to drink untill I’m 18.

“Hey… Let’s play a game… Spin the bottle…  The usual game…” saad ni Bryan. Nagpabilog naman kami. Okay… I hope things will go fine and right here….

The first one is Bell.  She happily accept the Dare… She kissed Bryan for 1 minute and they even closed their eyes.  Omo!  What a sight!  Isusumbong kita kay tita… Char!

Next is… Alex… “Sinong type mo dito?” tanong sa kaniya ni Bell.  Though I have a clue pero let’s see..

Matapos ang pag-iisip niya ay hindi ko inexpect ang sinagot niya… “Si Carl…” he said.  Napatingin naman ako kay Karl na parang tuwang-tuwa… “No!  Not you! The Nerdy one.  Your twin!” Alex said.  Bigla naman nagdilim ang mukha ni Karl at pabusangot na ang mukha niya.  He suddenly drank the canned beer without stopping…

Oh!  That hurts! As I thought Karl likes Alex but Alex likes Karl’s twin… Okay that’s a love triangle…

“Hey!  Stop that, boy!  Baka malasing ka kaagad…” Nathaniel said to him..  Sumunod naman siya pero he’s jolly aura was gone. Oh I think that sucks!

Next… Nathan…

“Nathan… What do you like about… Kaye…” Bell said…  Napatingin naman ako sa katabi ko at pansin ko naman ang pagdilim ng mukha niya…

Okay? I’m hoping for peace…

“I like Kaye… Because she’s Kaye… I’m fascinated every about her…  But I know he likes someone…” He said.  Nag lighten up naman ang mukha ni Clint ng dahil sa sinabi niya.. Akala niya ba siya yung gusto ko?  Siya nga..

Kinatiyawan naman si Nathan sa mga kasama namin… He just laughed it off.

Next is… Aika…

“I dare you to kiss someone you like on this circle…”  Her own brother dared her… What?  Is it normal?  My gash!  That’s insane…

She smiled devilishly… Okay!  This is the first time na makita ko yung side na ’to… I think she’s drunk. I guess.

She walk towards our direction… Okay… I think I know where she’s going… I felt nervous suddenly… There’s somet that’s building up on me wuth the thought of seeing her kissing Clint.  That’s just insane! She knows that there’s something going on between us!  My gosh! The nerve of this girl. 

Bago pa siya makalapit kay Clint ay inisahang lagok ko ang beer ni Clint and turned in to him.. . And suddenly kissed him…  Okay… I know… It’s absurd! But I don’t know what to do!

I’ve heard them gasps when I suddenly kissed Clint.  Before I close my eyes I’ve seen how Aika’s face become agitated and annoyed…

Okay…  Girl!  I know that move, Bitch! Don’t me… And Clint deepen the kiss… I think being young and wild is not that bad…

TB-10

I broke the kiss first… Bigla naman akong bumalik sa reyalidad ng gawin ko ’yon. Sari-saring pangangantiyaw naman ang natanggap ko ng dahil sa narinig ko. 

I don’t if it’s because of the Beer pero para bang ang pait ng lalamunan ko.  Gosh!  That was my first time. Who would have thought that I will initiate the kiss first?  Omo! That’s humiliating pero dedma na.

I’ve seen how annoyed Aika is.  But I jist ignored him.  Hindi ko na din matingnan ang katabi ko but I know that he was shocked on what I did.  But still he’s smiling from ear to ear… Gosh!  Nakakahiya! Wala pa kaming label pero the kissed we had,  nakakadalawa na siya ah.

Since may kalaliman na din ang gabi ay napagpasiyahan na naming mga tulog sa kaniya-kaniyang kwarto… After they announced na tapos na ay kaagad akong pumasok sa room ko pag dating namin sa Villa. Agad akong nag shower pagkadating ko.

Matapos kong maligo ay atsaka ko lang narealize kung paano ako umakto kanina. For Pete’s sake I’m like a possessive girlfriend of Clint… That’s just insane! Omo!  If kanina ay nagkaroon ako ng lakas dahil sa alak how about tomorrow? How could I face them?  Omo!  It’s frustrating the hell out of me!

Errrr.  Matapos kong magbihis ng pajama at ng blue cami top ay kaagad akong humiga sa kama.  Okay! I would just tell them na it’s a side effect of the HRT..  Would they believe me?  Arg! Kaasar…

Paano kung nagmukha akong desperada kanina?  Paano kung… Arg!  Mababaliw na talaga ako.  Ba’t kasi si Clint pa ang kailangan niyang lapitan! My ghad!  Isipin ko pa lang na maghahalikan sila parang gusto ko ng manampal! The audacity of that girl!  My goodness!

Sabi na eh… That Aika!  She has hots for Clint… Pero sorry… Clint likes me… He’s just waiting for the right time…  Gosh! Kailan ba yung right time na ’yon?  Baka naman sampung taon pa yung right time na sinasabi niya? Omo!

Before I could sleep, my phone rang.  It was Dad.

“Yes, Dad?” I asked.

“Hello,  Honey… How are you?  Okay ka lang ba diyan?” He asked.  Pansin ko naman ang lungkot sa boses ni Daddy.  What happened? May problema kaya si Dad?

I wanna asked him but I chose not to….

“Are you okay, Dad?” I asked. “I’m okay, Honey…  I just missed you.. Keep safe, alright?” He said ramdam ko ang pagod sa boses ni Dad.

“Opo…  I missed you too, Dad…” I said. Matapos no’n ay ibinaba ko na ang tawag.  Does he have a problem? Sa company kaya? Errr.  Nevermind.

The kiss…

Oh God!  I’m supposedly sleeping by now…  Omo!  Sayang ang skin care. Lumipas pa ang ilang oras at hanggang sa ginapo na ako ng antok sa kakaisip sa nangyari kanina at kay Dad…

“Haven’t you sleep well?” tanong ni Alex as I enter the dining area. I just nodded on his question but don’t dare my self to look on them… Nahihiya pa din ako sa ginawa ko kagabi. Gosh! Kaasar…  Inikot ko naman ang paningin ko at hindi ko na nakita si Clint… Wala din si Aika at Marco?  Nasaan sila?

“Clint is on his room… He’s doing something…” Bell said na tila ba nabasa yung nasa isip ko.

“Ha?  I didn’t asked for him… “ maang-maangan ko… Napatawa naman sina Alex. Parang hindi pa din maganda ang mood ni Karl, ang kakambal naman niya ay busy pa din sa pagbabasa.

“Aika and Marco already went home… Something came up daw kaya kailanagan nilang umuwi ng maaga…” sabi naman ni Alex…

Hmmmm.  That’s nice!  Mas mabuti ng wala siya dito!  Eme!  Habang kumakain kami ay hindi pa din dumadating si Clint.

I decided to went on his room… I knocked once but no one responded… I asked for the second time pero wala pa din… Nandito kaya siya? I thought…

“Clint… “ I called but still no one responded. I tried opening the door and found him laying on the bed sound and asleep.  Gosh! Akala ko ba may ginagawa siya?  Errr.  This man…

He looks so cute and hot at the same time when he’s asleep para bang ang amo-amo ng mukha niya…. No don’t touch him! But my hand has its own mind…  I caressed his face sofly but…  What?  He’s sick! Omo! What happened to him? Kahapon ay okay naman siya… 

Natataranta akong lumabas… Okay calm down… Hindi siya mamamatay… May lagnat lang… Wag OA,  ’kay? I thought. Pumunta ako sa kusina at kumuha ng Basin…

“Anyare? Asan na si Clint?” Tanong ni Byran…

“He’s sick… Mataas yung lagnat niya…” saad ko. Matapos kong sabihin ’yon ay pumunta sila kay Clint at chineck siya…  Umalis lang sila pagkarating ko… Hihingi daw si Bell ng gamot kay Nanay…

“Clint wake up…” I said pero hindi pa din siya gumigising….

Dahil mainit siya ay tinanggal ko ang kumot na bumabalot sa katawan niya.  Gosh! He’s topless!  His growing chest and his abs!  Gosh! Halos kasing laki na ng katawan niya yung katawan nila Nathan.  Omo! 

Matapos ko siyang punasan ay sakto namang pag dating ni Bell…

“Hey!  Kumain ka muna bago ka uminom ng gamot” I said.  Niyugyog ko naman siya ng mahina. Unti-unti niyang binuksan yung mga niya pero pansin ko na medyo nahihirapan siya I check his temperature at medyo bumaba na ’to kaysa kanina…

He’s like a child… Who needs his mother right now… Ayt!  Ang laki-laking tao sakitin!

“Eat this…” I said at tinulungan siyang sumandal sa head board ng kama niya… Nagluto si nanay Deng ng lugaw para kay Clint…

Dahil hindi niya magawang kumain ay sinubuan ko siya… Ngunit mga limang subo pa lang ng pagkain ay umayaw na siya…

“Inumin mo na ’to para gumaling ka na agad…” utos ko naman dito… Sinunod naman niya agad ang sinabi ko.

“Where’s your sando?”  I asked at kinunan siya ng sando sa lalagyan niya. Isinuot naman niya ’yon at humiga ulit…

Matapos no’n ay bumalik ulit siya sa pagtulog muli… Haysss.  Ang laki-laking tao pero mabilis naman sakitin. Errr.

Nakaupo lang ako sa buhanginan tinatanaw ang papalubog na araw. Pinagmamasdan ang mga ibong malayang lumilipad sa kalangitan. Ang kulay kahel at pulang langit na nagpapaganda ng buong tanawin. It’s just so peaceful… I wanted to live on a place like this… I really do.

I am alone now since Bell, Alex and the boys went to do an Island Hopping and the yacht they were still not coming back… Nagulat ako ng biglang may tumabi sa’kin… It was Clint.

“Hey!  Why did you wake up? You should have rest on your bed…” I said to him with annoyance… Kaagad ko naman hinawakan ang noo niya…  Okay medyo bumaba na ang lagnat niya…  Kaagad ko naman narealize ang ginawa ko kaya tinanggal ko ng mabilis ang kamay ko sa kaniya at tumingin ulit sa dagat. Gosh!

Come back on your senses, Kaye! “Why didn’t you join them?”  He asked.

“Pagod ako…” I lied…. Binantayan ko kasi siya magdamag dahil baka mamaya ay tumaas na naman yung lagnat niya.

When I answered he just chuckled on a manly way… Okay…  I really love hearing those…

“Thank you, Kaye…” seryosong saad niya… Napatingin naman ako sa kaniya at agad ding tumingin sa magandang tanawin na sa kalangitan…  Its just so peaceful and… Romantic…

“Ang ganda talaga dito…” I said nonchalantly. I smiled from ear to ear when I remember the first time that I went here…  I’m with my parents that time…

“Ang ganda nga…” sagot niya naman but I was caught of guard when I looked at him.  He’s looking at me intently. Oh God!  He’s moving his face inches by inches towards me… This is the third… I guess… I close my eyes as he near his face on me…  It was just a matter of seconds when they called us….

“Hey unlabelled couples!” sigaw nila sabay tawa agad naman akong napaiwas at napatayo…  Gosh!  Another kahihiyan na naman… Nakita namin ang pagbaba nila sa Yate habang tumatawa…

“Kaya pala nag-paiwan eh…” panunukso ni Alex na tinawanan naman ng iba.  Tinarayan ko lang siya… Pero tumawa din ako..

Tiningnan ko naman si Clint at parang malalim yung iniisip niya…. Okay?  Is he angry?  Dahil hindi na tuloy yung pangatlong kiss? Eme!

Pagkarating nila ay Kinwento nila sa’min ang mga pinuntahan nila..  Okay…  Hindi naman ako naiingit! Errr! Kaasar!

But suddenly the ambiance became serious when they changed the topic…

“Me, I wanted to be a famous designer like mom…” Bell said.

“Ako, I’ll just manage the Family business na lang siguro…” Si Bryan…

“Me, I wanted to have my own high-end bars…” Alex said….

“I wanted to have an accounting firm…” saad naman ni Carl.

“Me,  I’ll be managing the Family business din…” parehas na sagot ni Nathan at Clint.

“I wanted to be a CPA also…  But I’ll be managing our company din siguro…” I said.

“I wanna be rich as you guys…” Clint said with passion and perseverance on his eyes.  I could that he can do it.  He can make it.

Lahat naman tayo may pangarap eh..  We just need to have courage, passion, perseverance and affection to achieve what we wanted to have in the future. Yeah.  Some dreams may look like absurd to others but when you pursue that dream with all your heart expect for a great outcome….

On the way of that dream hindi naman puro saya expect pain and sorrow but Don you ever give up.  The failures and challenges that we might encounter,  might help us to build ourselves and to make ourselves stronger. No one is deprived to dream,  everyone is allowed to dream so as long you are alive… Dream!  Dream as you can!

Tiningnan ko ang sarili ko sa huling pagkakataon sa salamin I wore a sheer top  making my black tube visible and a not too short shorts. I put a minimal make up on my face… Bell,  Alex and me would be going out together without the boys.  Yeah.. Our bonding!

Boys will be staying here… And we don’t care what they will gonna do.  Napagpasiyahan namin pumunta sa isa sa mga sikat na Mall dito sa Batangas. Sa paglabas ko ay kinukulit ni Bryan si Bell na isama na lang sila,  but won’t win to her…. Busy ang lahat sa pagcecellphone,  errr alam niyo na!  Pera lang si Carl at Clint… Ng tingnan ko si Clint ay hindi man lang ako nito binati… Problema no’n? Bahala ka diyan.

Pagkalabas namin ay napagpasiyahan namin na magpahatid na lang sa isa sa mga katiwala ng resort.

“Grabe! Naeexcite ako!” excited na sabi ni Alex…

“I made a list last night…” she said.

“Saan?” tanong namin ni Alex tinuro naman niya ang ulo niya at nagtawanan kami. Okay. Today would be fun,  I guess!  without the boys!  Yeah! Lezzgo!

“Omo! Nakakapagod! I told you nandon yung gusto mong bag…” Bell said to me at tinuro yung bag na hawak ko ngayon.  Yeah!  I know we spent some money today…. Masama ba?  Nagtipid naman kmai sa baon namin last time eh…

“Ba’t kaya hindi sila nagpaparamdam?” Tukoy niya sa mga lalaki na naiwan sa resort.

“Baka nag Bar…” natatawang saad ni Alex.

“Subukan lang nila… Uuwi na tayo bukas eh…” sagot naman ni Bell. Oo nga…  Clint haven’t text me anything yet… Anong nangyari do’n kanina hindi niya din ako pinansin!  Kainis!  Bahala siya diyan!  Anong akala niya? Ha!

Habang naglalakad kami pabalik sa Resort  ay parang may nararamdama akong kakaiba.  Okay?  What happen? Ba’t parang wala sila sa Villa? Pagkapasok namin ay wala nga talaga sila Villa,  lahat ng boys… Nasaan sila?

“Oh…  Nandiyan na pala kayo…  Nandoon sila sa tabing dagat…” saad ni Nanay Deng ng makita niya kami. Hindi na kami nagpalit ng damit pa at dumiretso na kaming tatlo kung nasaan sila..

Habang naglalakad kami ay napansin naman namin ang mga bulaklak sa dinadaanan namin nila Bell. Okay what’s happening? Wag tayong mag-assume… Baka mamaya para kay Bell ’to eh….

Dahil napahinto ako ay tiningnan ako ni Bell na parang nagsasabi ng ‘Goodluck!’ Okay. Weird.  Pinagpatuloy lang namin ang paglalakad hanggang sa makarating kami kung nasaan sila…  Pag tingin ko sa likod ko ay wala na si Alex at Bell…  Nasaan na sila?

Napatingin naman ako paligid, sa tabing dagat ay nakapalibot ang mga kandila na nakapalibot sa kung saan-saan.. Detalyadong nakakalat ang mga petals ng mga bulaklak na nasa buhanginan. May roong tela na may lamang mga pagkain.  Okay?  Picnic lang, Gurl? Pero one thing to describe the whole place, Romantic. Kahit na simple lang ’to mararamdaman mo yung pagmamahal! Gosh!  So Romantic! Para kanino ba ’to?  Wag tayo umasa girl!

Tumingin ako sa paligid ngunit wala naman ni isang nandito pero pagkatalikod ko ay nakita ko si Clint.  He’s smiling from ear to ear while holding his guitar and a bokay of white roses. Omo!  He’s so hot in his board short and his white polo na hindi nakabutones ang dalawang nasa unahan.  Gosh!  He looks so handsome…

Kaya ba?  Kaya ba niya hindi ako pinansin kanina dahil may plano siyang ganito?  Omo!  Ang corny niya sa part na ’yon pero kinikilig ako.  Gosh!  What did I do to deserve this man? Eh nagmaldita lang naman ako dati eh. 

He’s looking at me intently hanggang sa sinimulan niyang i-strum ang gitara niya.  Omo!  Mukhang napapadalas ang pagiging singer niya ah!

“Wise men say

Only fools rush in

But I can’t help falling in love with you

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin

If I can’t help falling in love with you?“

I just stood to the place where I am…  With his voice…  Para bang gustong kumawala ng puso ko sa rib cage ko!  God! What should I do…. His emotions… Mararamdaman mo yung gusto niyang sabihin…

“Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be.“

If what I’m feeling right now is love, it’s amazing!  It’s indeed one of the great emotion that we could feel as human. No doubt,  I’m falling deeper and deeper to Clint.  I don’t know how and when,  nangyari na lang!

“Take my hand

Take my whole life too

For I can’t help falling in love with you.“

I don’t know but my tears suddenly fell from my eyes.  I could feel his emotions.  It’s just so overwhelming… Who would have thought na ang isang bakla na unti-unti ng nagiging babae ay makakaranas ng ganitong bagay?  Gosh!  If it’s just a dream parang ayoko na lang magising.

“Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be.“

Ng nasa harap ko na siya ay pinunasan niya ang luha ko habang kumakanta and with that ibinaba na niya ang gitara niya… Gosh! Naiiyak ako… I’m shock when he hugged me, so tight that I could feel his hard chest.

“

Take my hand

Take my whole life too

For I can’t help falling in love with you

For I can’t help falling in love with you.“

Pabulong na kanta niya sa tenga ko… My gosh!  My heart! I’m doomed…

“Kaye,  would you take my hand? Would you take my whole life too?” He asked but I just stood frozen when he suddenly kneel on the sand.  Oh Gosh! Wedding proposal na pala agad hindi man lang ako na inform.  Eme!

“I want to marry you…” What?  Kasal agad?  Omo! Okay!  That’s just so smooth!  My ghad!  Kinilig ako do’n ah kahit na naiiyak na ako.

“I wanna be your boyfriend, your partner,  your husband, your everything… But I’ll do it step by step… Kaye… Can I be your boyfriend?” That moment, I knew,  I’m sure, that I wanted him to be part of my life….

I wanted to grow with him beside me. I wanted to build my dreams with him.  The man who accept my flaws and imperfections… It’s not even a wedding proposal but it feels like that.. Because I know, I can feel that I wanted to be with this man forever….

“Yes!” I said then he stand up and hugged me. “I love you… Ganda…” He said… Before I could even answer he kissed me, his kissed are so sweet!  Nakakaadik! Gosh!  At first it was just a peck untill he slid hiis tounge on my mouth… I felt his lips smiled… He deepen his kisses that I could feel I can’t breath anymore… He stop…

“I’ll promise that I will be the best boyfriend ever…” He said at hinalikan ulit ako…. 

Okay lang naman ’di ba?  As long as you could feel that you love each other then take the next stage. Label your relationship… No one could dictate when our hearts will be inlove… But as long as both of you respect and love each other very much… Your relationship would grow stronger and better.

I won’t enter a relationship without respect… Because love must come along with respect…  If things will go wrong… I’m wishing it won’t…. I just wish….

TB-11

We’re now on our way home.  Maaga kaming umalis ng Resort para masigurado ang kaligtasan namin sa daan.  Bryan is in the driver sit at katabi niya naman si Bell.  Ako naman ay pinag gigitnaan nila Clint at Nathan. Samantalang sila Alex at ang kambal ay nasa likod. 

Pansin ko ang pagiging tahimik ni Karl simula noong umamin si Alex na may gusto siya sa kakambal nito. Errr.  Okay!  Love triangle nga! Naawa tuloy ako kay Karl since hindi ako sana’y na tahimik lang siya at naka earphones.

Samantalang ang kakambal niya as usual nagbabasa lang ng libro… Hays! Malalaki na sila bahala sila diyan…

“Ganda… Lay your head on my shoulder para hindi ka mangalay.” saad sa akin ni Clint.  Omo!  Ang gwapo talaga niya. Yeah.  We’re now official! Sorry sa mga unlabeled couples diyan!  Eme! 

I just nodded on him at sinandal ko yung ulo ko sa balikat niya…  He intertwined our fingers kaya naramdaman ko ang may kagaspangan niyang kamay.  Dedma!  Clint is a hard working person! Kaya proud ako sa kung anong mero’n siya.  Oh gosh!  I Just can’t believe that this man is officially mine.  Mine only! Naramdaman ko naman ang paghaplos niya sa buhok ko at sinandal din ang ulo niya sa ulo ko.  Okay!  Baka langgamin na kami….

Simula ng sinagot ko siya ay hindi na mawala-wala ang mga ngiti niya sa labi niya. Gano’n din ako! Who would have thought that this man would be mine… Though I know there’s something special on him… He’s indeed an amazing person.  Kahit kanino naman ay mabait at mabuting tao si Clint.  He’s humble and kind always. 

Kaya pala tinagalan nila Bell ang pag stay namin sa Mall kahapon because they knew that Clint is planning something.  Well Ofcourse I’ll never forget that day.  One of the most special day that I ever had in my life… .

Though we still wanted to take it slow and grow together with this relationship since we’re young wild and free.  We both wanted to take it slow but surely.  Clint respects me so much I can feel it, I respect him also the same way.

For me,  we should not expose too much affection with each other in the public pera na lang siguro kung kasama naman namin yung friends namin. Just like Bell and Bryan.

Nagpapatug-tog lang si Bryan ng mga kanta at sinasabayan naman ’yon ni Alex at Bell. I just laughed ng marinig ko ang pagpiyok ni Alex at halos lahat kami ay natawa maging si Karl na noong nakaraan pa walang mood at si Carl na busy sa pagbabasa ng libro.

“Nakakatawa ’yon?” mataray na saad niya at tumawa ulit kami pero hindi na niya kami pinansin at pinagpatuloy na ang pag kanta.

But suddenly lahat kami ay sumabay na sa sumunod na kanta… Being youth is special kaya dapat bawat araw ng kabataan natin ay pinapahalagahan natin,  yung kaibigan at yung mga pagsasama-sama na mababaon natin sa pagtanda.

Noon akala ko hindi ko na magagawang ngumiti pa.  Akala ko noon natapos na sa murang edad ang kabataan ko.  But I’m wrong… My youth can still be special and memorable… With this people beside me I know I’m making a progress one step at a time.

I just learned na hindi naman natin kailangan mag madali eh.  We can be what we wanted to be.  We can do what we wanted to so as long as wala tayong naapakang tao…

The lost of a loveone won’t be the end of you… Learn to let go but always remember them on your heart.  I know being a transgender will not be an easy way…  But this is who I am and this things makes me happy.

We can choose what ever sexuality we wanted to be.  Ignore the culture! Ignore the narrow-minded people!  Ignore them! It’s not their life to choose who you wanted to be,  it’s your life!

We are the players of our own life at hindi ang ibang tao.  Kung sa paningin ng iba ay mali ang pagiging transgender, then dedma!  Bahala kayo diyan!

Tama nga ang sabi nila na kapag masaya ka ang oras ay mabilis na tumatakbo.

“Bye guys…” saad ko pagkababa ko ng van.  Bumaba naman si Clint at lumapit sakin…

“Bye… Ganda… Pakiss nga…” He said… Natawa naman ako dahil ngumuso siya dahil hinihintay siya ng mga kasama namin ay pinahalik ko sa kaniya ang palad ko…. Nag si tawanan naman sila at napakamot naman siya ng ulo..

“Ingat… tatawag ako mamaya…” saad niya at nagpaalam na ulit sila. Kumakaway lang ako sa kanila hanggang sa hindi ko na matanaw ang sasakyan nila…. It was a great trip…. My friends….

Pasukan na naman, ngayon na lang ulit kami magkikita ni Clint matapos ang trip namin sa Batangas.  We texts each other like other couples do but we’re not the OA one.  We’re not making texting each other a responsibility. ’di ba? Merong mga mag jowa na pauilot-ulit lang naman ang pinag-uusapan at once na hindi sila nakapagreply ay nag-aaway na.  Kami, we’re not like that!

He greets me every morning and I’m greeting him too.  But onwards it depends on the availability of each other.  It’s been two days and one week simula ng naging kami. So far it’s been good and he cares to me alot. Sa pagbaba ko ng kotse ay nakasandal lang si Clint sa bike niya…

“Hey… Ganda…” He said with a smile from ear to ear.  I smiled back with his handsome face. “Good morning, Kaye…” He said… “Akina yung gamit mo…” He said but I disagreed. He just nod and laugh.

We walk together without holding hands… Yeah… We decided to be private in the school. You know,  chismis is everywhere.

Habang naglalakad pansin ko ang mga matang nakatingin sa kaniya.  Almost all are girls and pusong babae, I know, Clint is handsome as hell!  I’m really lucky, I guess.   Pero hindi niya naman ’yon pinapansin…

“Ang ganda talaga ng girlfriend ko…” I was shock noong lumapit siya sakin at ibinulong ’yon. Ramdam ko ang pamumula ng mukha ko ng dahil sa ginawa niya kaya pabirong tinulak ko siya at binilisan na ang paglalakad. Arg! The nerve of this man! Sabing wag magpapakilig sa public eh.

’Bulong lang ‘yon teh!’ Kahit na!  Kinilig pa din ako.

Natatawa naman siyang sumunod hanggang sa makarating kami sa Classroom.  Yeah… They’re looking on us pero since magkapartner kami sa Research Project ay baka ’yon lang ang isipin nila. Nakita ko naman ang pagtagis ng bagang ni Aika.  Okay?  I think she knows already… But I don’t care!  ilabas niya na ang tunay niyang ugali!  Ng magkaalaman na kami… Tsk.

Sa buong klase ay hindi ko maiwasang, mainis dahil parang pinapariggan ako ni Aika…  Hindi lang ako ang nakapansin no’n pati na din sina Alex at Bell but I just ignored her… She may be really like Clint,  afterall. But what could I do?  Ako ang gusto ni Clint at siya din ang gusto ko. Duh!

Sa tuwing gusto kong kausapin si Aika ay iniiwasan niya ako.  She may be thought na aawayin ko siya but I won’t stoop that level. Oh Gosh!  Nakakairita lang!  Kahit saan mo tignan ako yung pinapatamaan niya.  Pero should I just really understand her?  Yes, I know she has feelings for Clint pero hindi ko naman inagaw si Clint sa kaniya. Gosh! The nerve of that girl!

Buong araw ng klase ay pinilit kong i-focus ang sarili ko sa pag-aaral.  Yes girl! Hindi dapat tayo magpaapekto.  She knows siguro na wanted our relationship to be private kaya sinusubukan niya kaming ibuko sa ibanh classmates namin.  But I don’t care anymore!  Lalo na’t siya naman ang magsasabi eh…. Err..

“Are you okay? Pansin ko kanina ka pa tahimik…” Nag-aalalang saad ni Clint. Arg!  Ang boys talaga hindi marunong makaramdam kung pinaparingan na sila ng ibang tao.  I just nodded on him…  Uwian na namin… Clint and I decided to go on their house since it’s three in the afternoon pa lang…

I just texted Manong Karding to pick me up later at night.. Pagkarating namin sa bahay nila… Ay kaagad akong sinalubong ng yakap ni Kiko…. “Ate Kaye… Namiss kita… Sabi ko kay kuya dalhin ka dito noong nakaraan pa eh…  Ba’t ngayon ka lang?” saad ni Kiko sa akin habang nakayakap siya… Kumalas naman ako ng yakap sa kaniya at ginulo ang buhok niya…

Lumabas naman si Tita Rose mula sa kusina nila…  “Kaawaan kayo ng Diyos…  Mga anak…” saad niya matapos namin magmano sa kaniya… “Dito ka na mag dinner, Kaye…  Magluluto ako ng ginataang pakbet,  anak…” saad ni Nanay Rose…

Ngumiti naman ako… Simula pa lang noong una hanggang ngayon ay napaka overwhelming na pero paano kaya pag nalaman nilang kami na ng anaki nila?  Oh God!  Sana hindi muna sabihin ni Clint…

Matapos no’n ay umakyat kami sa kwarto ni Clint…  As usual malinis at maayos ang may kaliitan niyang kwarto… Amoy na amoy ko si Clint sa buong  kwarto niya lalaking lalaki pero hindi masama sa pang-amoy… Errrr.  Mabango naman kasi si Clint!

“Upo ka muna…”  He said at umupo naman ako pinamulahan naman ako ng kinakalas niya ang mga butones ng damit niya…  “Ano ’yan? Doon ka nga sa CR mag bihis..” naiinis na saad ko sa kaniya ngunit tinawanan niya lang ako.  Arg!  Kaasar! Kitang may babae dito eh…

Hinagis ko naman sa kaniya ang unan niya…. “Oo na…” natatawang saad niya hanngang sa sinara niya na ang pintuan ng banyo niya.  Arg!  Kaasar talaga!

“Ate… Bumaba daw kayo ni Kuya… Mag meryenda muna daw po kayo sabi ni Mama…” saad ni Kiko pagkapasok niya sa kwarto ng kuya niya…

“Sige… Kiko… Baba na kami ng kuya mo….” saad ko sa kaniya…

“Ate… alam mo ba si Kuya tuwing gabi laging parang kinikilig… Ewan ko ba diyan kay kuya kung sino ang katawagan… Ikaw ba ’yon?” natawa naman ako sa tinuran niya bago siya lumabas ng kwarto ng kuya niya… Errr. Parang may kumiliti sa puso ko.

Nakabihis na si Clint pagkalabas niya, nakasuot lang siya ng jersey short at puting shirt pero still his stunning… He’s handsome kahit ano naman ang suotin niya…

“Gusto mo bang magpalit?” He asked…

“Hindi na… Wala naman din akong pampalit eh…” natatawang saad ko…

“Err.  Oo nga pala… Dalhin na kaya natin dito ang nga gamit mo?  Dito ka na kaya tumira?” saad niya na tinawanan lang namin parehas.. Errr.  Baka mamaya mag-agree ako sa kaniya! Masyadong  tempting ang alok niya…  Char!

Matapos naming magdasal ay isa-isa ng kumuha ng pagkain ang lahat.  Ang mga magulang ni Clint ay parang inoobserbahan kaming dalawa.  Alam na ba nila? Gosh! Nakakahiya. Pero si Clint ay parang hindi napapansin ang tinging ipinupukol sa amin ng mga magulang niya. Patuloy pa din siya sa paglalagay ng pagkain sa pinggan ko.  Gosh!  Hindi naman ako makatingin ng tuwid sa mga magulang niya. Okay!  Awkward to the highest level.

“Ehem…” pagpukaw ng atensiyon ng papa niya…

“Kamusta na kayong dalawa?” seryosong tanong ng papa niya.  Gosh!  Anong isasagot ko.

Walang patumpik-tumpik naman silang sinagot ni Clint…  “We’re in a relationship na po…” sagot naman ni Clint. Ano ba iyan!  Wala man lang pasintabi! Gosh!  Kahit gaano ka pala ka Komportable sa mga pamilya niya darating din pala ang pagkakataon na ’to!  Gosh! Parang aatakihin na ako sa puso kahit ang bata ko pa. Kinurot ko naman si Clint at nagkatinginan ang mga magulang niya at umubo….

“Totoo ba iyon,  Kaye?” tanong naman ni Tit Roselyn… Kinakabahan ako!  Gosh!

“Opo,  tita’t tito… Sorry po…” nahihiyang saad ko at hindi pa din makatingin sa kanila…. Nagulat ako ng bigla silang tumawa lahat.  Gosh!  Anong nagyayari… Maging si Clint ay tumawa din!  Okay!  What’s happening…

Nagtatanong naman ang mga mata ko kay Clint pero halos namumula na ’to kakatawa.  Okay! This man! Is he playing something on me?

“We already know, Iha…  Masaya kami para sayo… Nagpapasalamat nga ako at pinatulan mo iyan eh… Na’ko noong umuwi iyan galing sa trip niyo halos ipagsigawan na sa buong bahay na kayo na…” natutiwang saad ng mama niya…

“Huwag mong sasaktan si Kaye, Clint…” saad naman ng papa niya. Oh God!  I just love them so much!  Parang gumaan ng sobra ang puso at paghinga ko.  Thanks G!

“Na’ko kuya,  bubugbugin talaga kita…” saad naman ni Kiko at pinilit pang palakihin ang boses niya.  Natawa naman kaming lahat dahil doon.  Sa ilalim ng mesa ay biglang hinawakan ni Clint ang kamay ko kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya. Ngitian niya ako ng sobrang tamis at nginitian ko din siya. Oh!  I just really love this man…

“Basta wag niyo kakalimutan na nandito kami para gabayan kayo…  Wag kayong magmamadali sa mga bagay-bagay at bata pa naman kayo.  Maging responsble kayo sa kilos niyong dalawa…  Naiintindihan?” saad ni tito at tumango lang kaming dalawa.

Oh God! This is just so overwhelming! Knowing the fact that his family is open and understands us.  Nakkaatuwa lang.  Hindi naman kasi lahat ng pamilya lalo na dito sa Pilipinas,  we all know that open minded family here are really rare.  I know!  There will be people na ququestionin yung relationship na mero’n kami but it doesn’t matter anymore..

We will live on how we wanted to live.. No one can dictate the future that holds us.  But we will live together, grow together and mature together. I’m just wishing things will go as we wanted…

Matapos naming kumain ay nagisahan muna kami sa dining area nila.  Hindi sila makapaniwala kung gaano ka romantic si Clint… Well,  he really is!  Maiingit ang dapat mainggit!  Eme!

“I love you ganda…” He whisper in to my ears then smiled

“I love you too, pogi…” I said and smiled sweetly on him… Yup!  He’s my only pogi other than dad. Errr.

TB-12

Nakatingin lang ako sa labas ng bintana. Wala sina Bell at Alex ngayon…  They are on the School’s gymnasium for Volleyball tryouts… While Clint is on his Basketball Training… Yes,  he has been part of the school’s varsity… I have seen him played once but it’s just their practice, well, I can say, Clint is really good. They will be having a competition on January kaya medyo puspusan na ang pageensayo nila…

He can attract anyone when he plays but I’m really proud of him and I have trust on him. I’m not that sporty, but I joined the music club of the school. We done our. practice every day after school… Our Band is named The Angels… We’re all part of LGBTQ+… Yeah, and I’m the Lead singer. I know,  I’m not fond of so much attention but Clint wanted me to showcase the talent that I have.

He pursue me to be better and stronger, and I’m doing the samething on him… Yeah,  we support each other on the best way we can… We help each other to get out on our comfort zone…

Naputol lamang ako sa pag-iisip ng dumaan si Clarisse at ang mga alagad niya.

“Hey!” pukaw niya sa atensiyon ko but I just ignored her.  Err!  Mang-aasar na naman siguro ang isang ’to…. “Nakita ko si Clint ah.  May kalampungan sa Court….” Errr. Liar, don’t me bitch! I don’t know who told them na kami na ni Clint pero wala akong pake!

“Hey… Wala ka bang pake sa jowa mo bakla?” she said… Don’t push the limit bitch…  I’m sure you won’t like it….

“Ikaw din… Sabagay pineperahan ka lang niya…” Calm down, girl!  You shouldn’t stoop on her level…

“Opsss…  I think I hit the right nerve…” she said at tumawa pa silang tatlo…

“Look… You three?  Do you think I would believe you?” I asked… Ang pinaka ayaw ko pa naman sa lahat ay iniistorbo ako…

“Yes..  You must…  We’re  telling the truth…. Magkano ba ang binibigay mo sa kaniya?” she asked at nagtawanan pa sila.

I Just look on them boredly…  But I must say…  They’re really getting on my nerves…

“Wait… Ikaw ba?  Magkano yung pagawa mo diyan? Medyo hindi kasi pantay eh… “ turo ko sa ilong niya at tinawanan pa…

Mabuti na lang at lunch break namin ngayon…  Halos konti lang ang tao dito… And wala ang kambal…

“Hala!  Sorry ah.  Hindi ko kasi kayo ka-level eh…” I said without even blinking and raise my eye brow perfectly. Don’t me bitch!

Napansin ko naman ang pamumula ni Clarisse… “You…” pero pingilan niya ang sarili niya… Pfft!  Asar talo naman pala…

But the next time na sisiraan nila si Clint, I would make sure that they would pay for it.

Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin pag katapos no’n… Clint won’t do the thing they told me. I’m sure those are all lies… I’m sure…

Natapos ang klase namin at natutuwa naman akong sinalubong nila Bell at Alex.  I guess they entered the team…  Yeah, Bell and Alex are sporty…

“We got in!” sigaw nilang dalawa at niyakap pa ako…

“Wow!  Congratulations!” I said to them at ginantihan ang yakap nila…

“We should celebrate it with the boys…” saad ni Alex at sinimulan na naming kontakin sila isa-isa…

“Hey, ganda!  Hello,  girls..” saad ni Clint naka suot lang siya ng uniform nila sa basketball team since kakagaling niya lanv sa practice… Kinuha ko naman ang towel niya at pinunasan ang pawis niya….

“Thank you ganda…” he said and I just smiled.  Naalala ko na naman tuloy ang sinabi nila Clarisse kay Clint. Arg!  Those bitches are liars…. Parang si Aika! Speaking of that girl,  she’s really showing her real colors on me these past few weeks. But I’m just ignoring her… Siya na din naman ang lumalayo samin eh…  Siya din ang umiiwas samin.

Nasa favorite coffee shop namin nila Alex at Bell kami ngayon. We’re waiting on the others pero naka-order na kami. Christmas in nearly coming…  Next week ay December na…  This will be my first Christmas na wala ang mama ko,  though three years siyang nacoma,  I’ve stayed with her on those days kahit kaming dalawa lang noon ang magkasama.

Arg!  Forgot the negative thought! It’s time to make a memorable one with these peeps.

“Kamusta naman ganda? Namiss mo ba ako?” saad niya… Nasa mahabang mesa kami ngayon at katabi ko si Clint. He’s attracting some attention of the customers dahil sa suot niya. Well,  he really looks hot pero kasi naman, kung pagtinginan nila si Clint parang gusto ng kainin ng buhay…  Kainis!  Yung iba pa ay seniors pa naman.  My gad!  Child abuse!

“Okay naman… Errr.  Lagi naman tayong nagkikita eh…” nakangiting saad ko.

“Ako kasi namiss kita eh…” saad niya at nagpuppy eyes pa.

“Stop that… Nandiyan sila Alex oh!” natatawang saad ko.

“Okay…  Ako na?  Ako na walang jowa!  Ako na!” saad naman ni Alex ng dumating na sila Bryan kasama ang kambal.. We just laugh it out…

“Tsk… Ayaw mo kasi sa’kin…” may halong tampo na sabi ni Karl…

Kinantiyawan naman si Alex ng mga kasama namin…. Ganito lang kami… We celebrate every small achievement na narereceive namin together… Lahat lahat…

I’m now with my bandmates… Halos dalawang oras na kaming nagpapractice.  We wanted to make it perfect… We somehow form a friendship inside this band.  I just love this girl… There’s a lesbian on oue band and he’s our Drummer… There’s a gay and he’s our pianist…  And a transgender like me our guitarist.

We are practicing the song we wanted to play on our Christmas Ball that will be held two weeks from now…  Yeah,  it’s a bit nerve-wrecking. But we wanted to show and be the catalyst of change. Since there’s no LGBT band here,  we will start it. Though this school is somehow open to us,  LGBTQ+, we still wanted to voice out what we feel through this band.

We’re now playing the song for the fourth time when someone barged in the Music room… It’s Karl…

“Kaye, Clint is fighting with someone in the court…” He said.  At first I just stood where I am.  And suddenly I panicked… I run out of the room hurriedly.

“Why?  What happened?” I asked worriedly…

“I’ve heard he punched one of his mate…” I run as fast as I can… I didn’t give a damn on the questioning looks of others…. Bat walang umaawat? I thought…

Ng makarating kami kung nasaan si Clint ay hinawi ko ang mga taong naka harang at nanonood lang sa away mula sa loob…

“Fuck you! I won’t stoop on that level but you’re a bullshit! Bastusin mo na ako wag lang si Kaye…” I’ve heard him say as I saw him fighting with one of his team mate…

Nakita ko ang mga larawan na nakakalat sa buong paligid ng gymnasium, it was our photos,  hindi ko alam kung saan ’to galing but it was our photos!  Tangina!  I don’t care anymore kung malaman nila ang relasyon namin.  But seeing Clint on this, it breaks me.

Putok na ang labi ni Clint habang pinipigilan siya ng iba niya pang ka team mate…  The guy who fought with him is laying on the floor.. . He made damaged on that guy…

I walk near on him and as I stood in front of him… Unti-unti ng lumambot ang mukha niya…. I hugged him,  tight as I can….  Seeing him like this makes me love him even more. He fought for me,  he fought for our relationship! My ghad…

Habang nakayakap sa kaniya ay nagsalita ulit ang ka team mate niya, if I’m not mistaken he’s Ben….

“Ha! Magkano ba ang bayad sayo ni Kaye?  Magkano ulit? Tangina siguro yumaman ka ng hinayupak ka!” sigaw noong lalaki..

“Kaya ka lang naman kumakapit kay Kaye dahil mayaman siya, gago!” nag pantig ang tenga at walang sabi-sabing sinampal si Ben… Halos mamanhid ang kamay ko ng dahil sa sampal na ginawad ko sa kaniya….

I can’t show them my weak side…. I just can’t… Nakita ko sa kabilang dulo si Aika na katayo at parang tuwang-tuwa sa palabas na pinapanood niya.

“Tangina mo!  Gago ka! Your worst than a trash!” I vented with anguish. Akmang lalapit si Clint sa kaniya ng dumating na ang guard na may kasamang teacher. Puta!  Bakit ngayon lang! 

“Go back on your rooms!” the prof said. Hanngang sa wala ng tao kami na lang at ni Ben.

“We are open to the LGBTQ+ community… And who are you to tell that on them?  That’s bullying…” sabi no’ng guidance counselor kay Ben.. I really wanted to slap him on this moment dahil pinaglalaban niya talaga ang mali niya….

Patuloy ko lang pinapaklma si Clint… He might kill this guy any moment… Tangina lang!

Matapos ang ilang oras na council ay hindi na nagreklamo pa ang both parties. I know,  Clint made mistakes for using violence with this thing…  Clint is a scholar afterall at baka manganib ang scholarship niya dahil doon.  That Ben will be banned on their team…  Dahil siya naman talaga ang nag simula….

“Are you okay?” tanong sa akin ni Clint pagkalabas namin ng Clinic.  Ginamot ang putok na labi niya at meron din siyang black eye… Gosh! It frustrates me!

I just nodded on him and can’t utter any words on him at the moment… I just can’t yet…

“You shouldn’t slapped him,  ayokong ginagamit mo iyang kamay mo sa mga gano’ng bagay…” sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin..  If he could protect our relationship and so am I. Bryan and Nathan are back on their OJT.

Sinalubong naman kami ng nagaalalang sila Bell, Alex at ang Kambal.

Sayang daw at wala sila dahil baka binugbog na daw nila ’yon…  But even they are with us earlier… Hindi nila responsibilidad ang relasyon namin ni Clint…. Gosh!  It’s just frustrating the hell out of me!

Those narrow-minded people…. As long as we’re together I guess makakaya namin ni Clint.. I already expect that thing… Errr! But I didn’t expect that coming this early…  For pete’s sake we barely reach a month pa lang pero madami ng mga mapanghusga ang nakapaligid sa’min. But if they are thinking that our foundation is that weak. Sorry to say this but NO! 

I will protect him as much as I can… I will.. And that little thing won’t damage our growing relationship…

“Hey,  don’t mind that jerk!  Alright? The punishment for him has been served. Subukan lang niyang questionin ulit yung relasyon natin,  babasagin ko na talaga yung mukha niya…” He said in serious tone sinamaan ko naman siya ng tingin…

“Stop being violent anymore…  Okay? Tita Rose wouldn’t be happy with that…  Nakakahiya….  Nahihiya ako kay Tita pag makita ka niyang may sigat…” I said…  Gosh!  Para akong maiiyak…

His lips is damaged and the side of his right eyes… I can’t even look at him at the moment….

Those pictures?  Saan nakuha ’yon ni Ben…  Arg!  It’s frustrating me.  So the whole time binabantayan niya kami…  Or pinapabantayan niya kami?  Para saan?  Arg!

That Aika!  For sure she has something to do with this…  If she’s trying to break us apart, I won’t let her…  Never…

“What are you thinking? Don’t think about it anymore… I can see it on your eyes…” He said…

Naunang umalis sina Bell at Alex hanggang sa dumating si Manong Karding…

“Call me.. When you get home…” saad niya…  I kiss him on his cheek.. He deserve it naman after all. Pero halata ang gulat at bagkabigla sa mukha niya.  Omo!  He’s blushing!

Well it’s the first time na hinalikan ko siya bago kami magkahiwalay…

“Bye, ingat…” I said at sumakay na din siya sa Bike niya…  Err.  Sana lang hindi magalit sila tita ng dahil sa nangyari.

TB-13

Before the first month of our relationship, unwanted things had happen. Disastrous things had happen. After the fight between Clint and his basketball team mate, Ben. The video of them fighting went viral… I am even included with that, I went viral after slapping Ben, Yes, I became at fault too. But as I was saying we won’t give up on us! We will fight for this….

It’s just that it’s so saddening that people without even knowing the real deal judge the relationship we have.. I am thankful to Nathaniel because he help us alot in giving solution to the problems, he did his very best. Those malicious posts in the internet were abled to vanished because of some string he pulled out…. Arg! It’s so stressing… Is it really big deal huh! My gosh! Those people are out of their minds…

They’re thinking that I’m the one who’s paying for Clint’s fees and etc. but infact I wasn’t. Those post were banned on the media and deleted as soon as Nathaniel helped us. But really, that thing won’t make our relationship any damage.

Today is our first month… We won’t do anything expensive just special… Every moment with him is special so whatever we will be doing today is indeed special…

We just decided to go out together, relax, and have some fun…. We will go on the mall today and do things together. I take a look on my self… I’m wearing a Halter Top and High waist jeans. I just wanted to look simple and comfortable… I brought my Chanel hand bag with me and I wore my Gucci watch on my left hand.

We will be seeing each other in a cafe on a Mall. After Mang Karding drove me for 30 minutes I hurriedly went to shop we agreed to meet… But he’s still not yet there… After 5 minutes of waiting I texted him but no response. I called him but no response.. Arg! It’s frustrating me! This is our first month but bad things keep happening! Omo!

The waiter went back and forth on me and on the fifth time I order Milktea to ease the boredom… I’m still trying to contact him but no response… Okay? What happened tp that guy? Is he really coming? He should have told me that he will be late… Errr. Naiinis na ’ko… But yeah… I should wait… May be he did something urgent.

But still! He must call me! He missed 20 calls already… I was about to go out on the shop when I saw him running. His wearing a polo that is unbuttoned on the first two. And a blue jeans with white sneakers. Okay, he’s sweating alot… Bigla naman akong naawa sa kaniya… Okay! Wag ng magmaldita!

“What happened to you? Get this…” I asked then give him my handkerchief. He looks like he joined a marathon… Because of his sweat…

“Sorry… Kaye… Sorry talaga…” Hinihingal na sabi niya… “Stop… Huminga ka muna…” I said.

I give him water and he drink it all. “Sorry… Kaye… Nakakainis! Nasira kasi yung bike ko eh… Umalis ako ng bahay two hours ago…” Bigla naman akong nakonsensiya… He just used his bike to get here… Okay! That’s awful!

“You should have told me…. Edi sana sabay na lang tayo pumunta dito…” I said at pinunasan ang pawis niya sa noo…

“Sorry talaga… Ganda… Kainis! Bawas pogi points!” He said at tinawanan ko lang siya..

“No! It won’t Ofcourse!” Seryosong saad ko… He give me a kiss on my cheek suddenly that made me blush.. Okay? I look around but no one seems to mind us… Okay! That’s fine! I Don’t even care to them naman!

After he loosen up, we started walking on the Mall.. We went in to the arcade and happily played everything inside of it. Arg! Even though he’s late a while ago… Being with him compensates it!

Matapos naming maglaro sa arcade ay nag punta naman kami sa KTB. He sang a song for me and I sang a song for him… It was wonderful… It was…

It’s six in the evening, at magkahawak lang kami ng kamay habang naglalakad… Okay, I guess that’s all! We’re new to this! We juat did what usual couple does… Yeah… We do not know anything yet…

I don’t know why he suddenly wanted me to go on their house pero grabe yung pagpilit niya sa aking pumunta sa kanila… Would we do that thing? My ghad! Stop thinking that way, Kaye! I told to myself…

At the end wala din akong nagawa but to go with him… Well, even me I wanted to spend more time with him at hindi na din naman ako bago sa pamilya niya…

I am full of confusions when I enter their house and it’s all dark. As I step inside I felt my heart beats so fast.. Arg! Why I’m so nervous? Hindi naman ’to ang unang punta ko sa bahay niya…

Binitawan niya ang kamay ko at kinuha niya ang Panyo sa bulsa niya… “Wear this…” He said… Okay? What’s happening?

“Calm down… Ganda… You will be safe and psalm he said sweetly on my ears that made my heart in chaos. Would we really do it now? I thought we will take it easy… Gosh! Kinakabahan ako! Omo! I’m not ready yet! I’m not. Should I tell him?

Iginaya niya ako kung saan… “Okay… You may now take it off…” He said…

Pagkababa ko ng blind fold, I’m shocked! Really shock. I can’t even utter a word… Arg! What did I do to deserve this man…

“I know we had been stressed out before we even reach the first month of our relationship…. But I’m telling you… Fighging with you is the best… Being with you is the best… You are the love of my life… Ganda… I couldn’t forget how happy I am noong sinagot mo ko…. I just… I just love you so much…” He said them hugged me… He gave me a tight hug…. Err! I didn’t expect this! I told him not to spent a lot of money for this day…

“I told you.. I don’t want you to spend money for this…” I said pero ginulo niya lang ang buhok ko at pinunasan ang kumawalang luha sa mata ko… The place is simple but indeed romantic… Nilanas niya pa talaga ang mesa at upuan sa likod ng bahay nila… White flowers are every where and blinking lights are all over their yard… It’s just so romantic…

Ipinaupo niya ako sa upuan and kissed me on my forehead before sitting on his chair… Pinatugtog niya naman ang romantic song na hinanda niya sa speaker… Arg! The nerve of this man! He’s really special… He made this day more special… Omo!

“Where’s your parents and Kiko?” I asked as I remember na wala sila sa loob kanina….

“They’re on my Lola’s house…” He said…. Err. Baka mamaya pinaalis niya sila tita dito.. Nakakahiya but knowing him I know he didn’t.

“Wait me here ma’am…. Ganda.” He said at pumasok ulit sa loob ng bahay nila…

After a minutes or so ay bumalik na siya bitbit ang tray na naglalaman ng ginataang pakbet at kanin. Omo! My fave! Wah!

“Here’s your order, ma’am…” saad niya at yumukod pa… This man… He’s melting my heart….

“Let’s eat…” saad niya… Well I’m hungry anyways! We didn’t eat on fancy restaurants… You know… Man’s ego…

Habang kumakain ay hindi ko naman maiwasan na hindi mapatitig sa kaniya… This handsome hard headed man… He’s making me fall deeper and deeper…. Oh God! Thank you!

“Don’t look at me like that, your tempting me…” He said at nasamid naman ako.. He gave me water and I drink it instantly….

“Hoy! Hindi kaya ’no.” maang-maangan ko dito but he just shrugged his shoulders…

Matapos namin kumain ay nag-usap lang kami saglit.. Matapos ang ilang minuto at tumayo siya at lumapit sa’kin.

“May I have this dance with this beautiful lady?” He asked…. Oh! My heart! It’s really overwhelming…

I just give him my hand at tumayo na…. He out his hand on my waits and I put my hands on his shoulder… Errr. Kahit na ganiti yung suot namin… I felt like a princess…

“Princess, I wanna marry you… I wanna be with you forever ’till we grow together… Please… Never broke up with me… Okay?” He said sweetly… We just swayed slowly with the tune of the music…. Sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya…

“I will marry you… I will… I want to grow with you…” I said… I look straight on his eyes and I can feel my overwhelming happiness… Being with him makes me happy… Corny? Call it whatever you want but it is indeed love… I am a transgender but the love he’s giving to me is just so special….

Our face get nearer and nearer with each other ’till our lips met. He started to move his lips sweetly and passionately. He deepen the kiss as we kiss longer…. Para bang nauubusan ako ng hangin huminto siya but he kissed me again… He’s tounge slid on mine and I taste his mint. Omo! This man! I’m so in love with him…. I really am…

TB-14

Play the song in the media, Gals! ❤❤❤

May mga tao na hindi tayo ineexpect na darating sa buhay natin ng biglaan…  Mga tao na biglang magbibigay ng ngiti sa mga labing puno ng pait at lungkot… Hindi man ganoon kadali ang buhay ay darating pa din ang makapagbibigay ng ngiti sayo at sa puso mo…

I thought when my mom died ay namatay na din ako…  I thought my life would be worthless and useless but I’m wrong,  very wrong… Things will flow accordingly, may mga pagsubok na binibigay satin hindi para panghinaan tayo but they are given on us for us to learn and to grow…

No human is excempted on that particular thing…  No human that lives na hindi makakaramdam ng sakit emitionall,  physically and mentally…

When I do not know to my self that I am a transgender, I feel like I am caged on a box that I can’t even go out… Being a transgender it’s not because of lust but it’s because of what we feel, we feel like a woman so we wanted to be a woman… And finding someone that would love you even you are different from other women,  is a great blessings… I am just really happy… That I found mine…

“Hey, ganda… Anong iniisip mo?  Kinakabahan ka ba?  Don’t worry, ikaw pa!  Kayang-kaya niyo ’yon! Basta nandito lang ako para sayo…” He said then giving me a Goodluck smile….

Today is the day,  We’ll be playing tonight in this ball.  It was held in one of the high end hotel. Everything were oozing with elegance and beauty…

I wore a red long gown with a slit on the left side that shows my long legs and white soft skin. It was figure hugging and fits my body perfectly. I wore a big black belt that further enhance my slim waist.

“You really looks pretty tonight… Ganda…” He said on my ears…  I smiled from ear to ear.  Simula ng magkita kami kanina ay yun na ang sinasabi niya..

“You looks so handsome… Pogi…” I said then chuckled… He looks dashing tonight like a prince charming on his white suit and perfectly fixed hair…  He really looks so handsome…

The Ball is like a battle of the bands since all the bands that are made by the music club will be playing a song…. Yeah…  The Angels will play tonight…  I’m just hoping things won’t go wrong…

Matapos ang ikalimang banda ay tinawag na ang banda namin… Oh God!  This is nerve wrecking! I feel really nervous right now…

“Go ganda….  Make me proud…” he said sweetly and give me a kiss on the cheek before letting me go… Gosh!  This will be my first time performing with lots of audience. Gosh! Lord help me with this one… Please.

“Good day… We’re the Angels… We will be performing a song to be the voice of LGBTQ+ community.  That we are all equal and we will all shine together. That every body deserve to shine and no one will be left behind… As long as we keep believing on ourselves… There’s no gender for us to be able to be happy…  Just be who you are and let your self shine out…” I said…. 

I look on my band mates then smile on them before looking again on the people in my front…. I saw Clint smiling from ear to ear with Bell and the rest of the gang…

Sa pagsimula ng pag tugtog ng mga ka-bandmates ko ay masigabong palakpakan kaagad ang natanggap namin….  And when I sing I wanted them to know that we all deserve to be happy.

“You with the sad eyes

Don’t be discouraged, oh I realize

It’s hard to take courage

In a world full of people.“

Nakatingin lang ako sa paligid habang kumakanta… Ang mga ngiti ni Clint ang nagbibigay ng lakas ng loob sa’kin… He’s eyes is gleaming with happiness.

“You can lose sight of it all

The darkness inside you

Can make you feel so small

Show me a smile then.

Don’t be unhappy

Can’t remember when

I last saw you laughing

This world makes you crazy.“

Nakakatuwang isipin na ang mga ngiting ipinagkait sa akin noon ay nararanasan ko na muli ngayon…  It’s just overwhelming…

“And you’ve taken all you can bear

Just call me up

’Cause I will always be there

And I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that’s why I love you

So don’t be afraid to let them show.“

The moment you realize that you have fear on a lot of things… Fight that fear!  And don’t let it overcome you,  overcome it!

“Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that’s why I love you

So don’t be afraid to let them show

Your true colors.“

Being the realy you won’t make you less of  a human… People might judge you but ignore them!  It’s not their life!  It’s yours!

“True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow

Oh can’t remember when

I last saw you laughing.

This world makes you crazy

And you’ve taken all you can bear

Just call me up

’Cause I will always be there.“

I look on Clint and give him my sweetest smile…. Oh!  My love! But before I could even sing the next part of the song…  Biglang may bumuhos na pintura sa akin… But I just smiled… I’ve heard some of them gasps on the sudden event… Errr.  It’s so sticky….  Napansin ko naman ang galit sa mukha ni Clint but I just stop him from doing anything by my eyes…

Bell and the gang started to find who the hell did this to me.  But I’m telling you,  I’m starting to be crazy,  I just smiled on the people and continue the last line…

“And I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that’s why I love you.

So don’t be afraid

To let them show your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow.“

I closed my eyes… Yeah!  I’m starting to be crazy I’m telling you… Pero I felt like I need to continue… I just need… Nagsimulang pumalakpak ang isang tao hanggang sa ang lahat ay pumalakpak na din… We just bowed together… Ignoring the fact na halos apat pala kami ay puno ng pintura…

Pagkababa ko ay sinubong kaagad ako ni Clint ng Coat niya at pinatong ’to sa’kin! Oh God!  Puti yung suit mo…

Bell and the squad are eager to find that person pero I have a clue kung sino man ang gumawa nito…  I won’t let it slide this time…. I won’t… I’m telling you…

As I enter Bryan’s car… Ay kaagad kong tinawagan si Dad… Yes, I’m pulling some strings para mapagbayaran nila ang ginawa nilang ’to…  If they are thinking that I would let it slide…  Sorry… I won’t…

And I won’t shed a single tear for this… This thing is just out of childishness

“Dad… Yes dad… The one I told you last time… Yeah dad… The Bertiz,  Marquez and Regalado… Thanks dad..” I said at pinatay ko na ang tawag….

“Wait…  Is it really those three ang kakapal talaga nung tatlong iyon…  Arg!  That Clarisse and her alalays. Go pinsan, support kita diyan..” Bell said..

Hinawakan ko naman ang kamay ni Clint I can feel his tension para bang nagpipigil lang ’to ng galit… Hinawakan ko naman ang kamay niya at pinapahiwatig ko sa kaniya na okay lang ako…. Yeah… I have those three investigated…  They’re all the one who’s behind those shits that happened to me consecutively… Pati na din yung pictures sa internet pati na din yung kay Ben….

“I’m okay… Nothing to worry about…” I said at pinakalma lang siya. Hays. Those people really deserve some punishment after all. I couldn’t let them drag me down… I just can’t… I’m a Brent… And will always be.

Author’s Note

Hello,  Gals!❤❤❤

I hope you will continue to support my first ever story here in wattpad ’till the end… I’m just really happy in making this… HUHU.  I’m inexperienced writer but I’m trying to do my best. Thanks,  Gals!  Love you! ❤❤❤

TB-15

The punishment had beed served. Yesterday that night I made sure that the three of them will pay for it. Some of their family business investors moved out. I submitted evidence to school authorities and they were kicked out in the school.

I may sound harsh but they really deserve it… If their tails won’t be cut it may create chaos… I just can’t believe that on their age they could do such thing….  They were not allowed to enter our school but still they could enter other school…. When they found out that it was my doing,  they confronted me…  But my bitch side attacked them so hard….

“You, Bitch!  Ikaw ang may pakana no’n ’no!  Akala mo panalo ka na?  You wish!” sigaw sa’kin ni Clarisse but I just remain calm. Yes,  I am a bitch!  Bitchest of all!

I just raise my eyebrow I made sure that it is perfectly arched for today’s event.

“I told you… You should know your limitations…” I said at tinalikuran na sila.  They were fuming in anger but I don’t care… What makes me do such thing is lalo na yung inunsulto nila si Clint…  I couldn’t take it anymore…  Clint is such a kind and pure person…. I know it…

“You should be aware of who are you fighting with… We’re cousins! Bitches!” Saad ni Bell at sumunod na din sa akin.  Yeah I’m with Bell but I made sure that Clint is not here.

After that week,  everything went fine and smooth anymore… Clarisse… She didn’t came back on the school anymore… Humors said that she go back to abroad… Well good for her…. I could feel that she really hate me for an unknown reason but I don’t care…  But I’m  just a little disappointed since I treated her as one of my friends.

Even his brother went abroad on his third year…  We don’t know the reason but we just let her be…

Days had passed and the Christmas day came… Our Mansion is filled with Christmas lights and designs…  It was indeed wonderful… Today, me and Clint will tell to my father that we’re in a relationship… I don’t know what he’s feeling right now,  but I guess he’s nervous…. He should! Pinakaba niya din kaya ako sa harap ng parents niya…. He will have dinner on our house today! I’m also excited but at the same time nervous…

I’m hoping things will flow like we wanted to be… Me and My father have been in a good relationship since then, we never fight anymore… Err… I hope he will accept Clint wholeheartedly…. I take a glance on the clock and it’s already 6 in the evening… 

After I took a shower,  I dried my hair….  I chose to wear a casual wear…  It is a plain sleeveless red dress…  Yeah, our house theme is red and green. , it was figure hugging and somehow emphatizing my growing breast but the dress is not that short. The hem ended at the middle of my thighs. It emphatized my long legs and soft skin. After putting a minimal amout of make up, I partnered my lips with a light red lipstick.

Before I could even go out on my room,  I heard Nanay Delia’s voice outside… “Kaye… Andiyan na yung bisita mo…” She said with a hint of sarcasm… Errrr.  I already told Nanay Delia about Clint…

After I wore my shoes…  I hurriedly went down stairs… As I step on the stairs gracefully,  I’ve seen Clint on the entrance…  He smiled to me but nervousness is evident to him… I almost laugh but I hid it…

I gave him a smile as I went near him… He looks so dashing today…  With his red polo and Jeans…  He’s handsome anyways!

“Let’s go… Andoon na sila Dad sa Dining area..” I said… Tiningnan ko naman siya but as I look on him para bang bibitayin siya munites later…  I chuckled… This is my first time seeing him like this…

“Hey!  Don’t laugh at me…” He said but I just shrugged…

“Dad,  will like you… I assure you…” I said then give him reassuring smile. Oh God!  I really love this man.. Everything about him…

As we went on the dining area I could feel the trembling of his hands but I just hold it tight….

“Dad…” I called my dad’s attention as we enter the dining area…

I went near my Dad and kissed him on his cheeks…

“Clint this is Dad…. Melissa and their baby.. . Calix…” I said nonchalantly… Well,  Melissa and me had some talk before and she’s somehow cool for letting me to call her Melissa.

“M-magandang araw po.. Sir and Ma’am…” The uneasiness he’s feeling right now is really evident.. . Oh!  I want to laugh! I really love this sight…

Dad surveyed him and Dad just nodded his head…. “Kumain muna tayo…” He announced seriously… Oh! I wanna burst in to laughter right now!

I sat on my chair and Clint sat beside me…. Calix is on his baby sitter.

Sinimulan na naming maglagay ng pagkain.  Since I know the feeling,  I volunteered my self on putting dishes on his plate…. He didn’t argued…

“Let him do it…  Kaye…” Dad said seriously….

“Okay Dad…” I said… Well I told my Dad to make him a little nervous… But I guess he’s really doing his best to tame my man… Errr.

“I-its okay… Kaye…  Let me do it…” he said at kinuha sa’kin ang sandok… He put an amount that he usually doesn’t. Naramdaman ko ang panlalamig ng kamay niya habang kinukuha sa’kin ang sandok I chuckled and he glared on me… I laughed…

“Let’s eat…” Dad announced matapos namin makakuha ng pagkain lahat…. Oh!   My poor Clint…

“Dad,  won’t bite you…  Just calm down…” I whispered to his ears.. ..

“I think he doesn’t like me…” He told me…

“Oh!  Believe me he likes you…” I said.. .

“What are you whispering? Care to share?” My dad said seriously…

“It’s nothing Dad…  I just told Clint that you won’t bite him…” Clint pinch the side of my waist… I groaned.

“Are you hurting my daughter?” Dad said seriously… Oh!  I wanna give my dad a hug at the moment. He’s really doing good or may be serious talaga siya.  Char.

“N-no sir… I’m sorry…” Clint said on a manly voice… I caressed his hands to ease his tension… But I couldn’t take it anymore…  I want to burst in to laughter na…

Matapos ang entertaining na dinner ay pinapunta ni Dad si Clint sa office niya…  Okay…  Hindi na ’yon kasama sa script… Err. … I felt like a baddass girlfriend of him… My poor loving Clint…. Gosh!

Pero I know my father won’t harm him…  Dad is good…  Really good.  I know what love story he has so I know he won’t be a hindrance on us…

After a minutes, Clint went to my room… He’s eyes were filled with amazement and awe… Well,  I really have a big room but I love his room too.

“Anong sinabi sayo ni Dad?” I asked….

“Nothing… I think tama ka…  Your dad likes me… alot…” He said confidently… But I burst in to laughter when I remember his face awhile ago….

“You!  You’re a baddass girlfriend!” He said then went on me… He tickled me… Untill I couldn’t breath anymore….

“If you just have seen your face…  That would be lit!” I said to him while laughing…. This man…

“You looks…” Hindi ko na matuloy ang sinabi ko when he kissed me…. Not just once,  twice but three times! For Pete’s sake….

“That’s your punishment…” He sail with sly smile on his face….

“Merry Christmas…” He said at may inalabas na kahon…  Oh God!  It’s a Necklace! There’s K&C on it… Oh God!  I love this…

He put it on my neck and kiss me softly… I chuckled when he’s growing stubbles tickled me.

Errrr. This man!  I’m deeply in love with him… Each day…

I get the gift for him on my cabinet…. When he opened it his eyes widened… Clint doesn’t want anything that cost thousands of pesos from me…  Err! It’s just so unfair! But I know it,  that a man’s ego.

“Ganda…” He warned in a serious tone…  Okay!  I know!  I just brought him a watch!

“Please Clint… Just this one… After that susundin na kita…” I said with a puppy eyes…

Matapos ang ilang minutong pamimilit he gave up. This man’s ego is on the higher level… Ayaw niya daw kasi bigay ako ng bigay ng mga mamahalin na bagay porket mayaman ako… Gosh!  Kaasar!

I brought him a limited edition wristwatch that dad brought in Europe for Clint. Errr.  But I’m happy he accepted it this time..

I’m really happy! After so many years,  Christmas became special and wonderful again!  Mom! I love you! Wherever you are!

There’s Clint, my Dad and my friends that brought me back to life…. That brought happiness and love on mine… I just wanted me and Clint to grow together, we know wala pa kami sa legal age… But I think this love is pure and true….

It’s not just a simple puppy love… It’s a real and deep love.  No one could tell what will happen in the future but I’m praying that I’ll be spending my years and time with him…

Spending Christmas with him,  spending New year with him,  Spending Valentine with him, spending my birthdays with him…  I wanted him to be there… Yeah… I wanted him to be with me ’till the end.

We might look immature for others but for me we’re not. I’ll do my very best to prove that we could be happy and successful in life…

He has dreams and so am I, I’ll support him in every ways I can…

TB-16

Hey, Gals!  Kaye’s gown is on the media! 😚❤😉

When you are really happy you wouldn’t believe how time will go fast… Na tila ba sa isang kisapmata ay bigla na lang magbabago ang lahat. Lilipas ang oras at magbabago ang mga bagay-bagay sa paligid. The moment you realize na unti-unti ka ng tumatanda ay maraming mga bagay ka ang lubusan mong nauunawaan. Mga bagay na akala mo komplikado ngunit simpleng pag-unawa lang pala ang kailangan….

Clint and I are going strong… The foundation we built is unexpectedly amazing and wonderful…. Building our relationship with trust and respect, I must say we’re stepping in to another level…  With the love I have for him,  I’m willing to give him everything… Yes,  everything I have….

Though like normal couple does, we fight over things but whenever we know who is at fault, we apologize to each other. Hindi namin hinayaan na tumagal ang away namin ng mahigit isang araw. But not on our big fight…

We had a big fight because of a misunderstanding na muntikan ng sumira sa relasyon namin, I didn’t talk to him for a month… Pero mabuti na lang at nagkaayos kami…  That misunderstanding was when I saw him kissing with another girl, He pushed that girl really hard when I saw him…

Papasok ako ng court kung saan nagpapractice ang team nila Clint… Ngayong araw kasi ay may tournament sila bukas…  Ngunit nagtaka ako na pagpasok ko ay si Clint lang ang nandoon nakaupo siya sa may audience chair at pawis na pawis…

Lalapitan ko na sana siya ng may biglang lumapit sa kaniya ang muse ng team nila, Si Isabela… Nabigla ako dahil bigla niyang hinalikan si Clint ng walang pasabi… Gusto Kong puntahan ang babae at sampalin.  Shock is evident to Clint.  Pero Fuck! He didn’t get rid of that girl, right away…

My goodness what’s wrong with this guy? When he saw me his eyes widen.  “Fuck!” Mura niya at mabilis na tinulak ang babae nang dahil doon ay napaupo ang babae sa lapag but to my disappointment he help the girl first at nagsorry pa dito… I found myself walking out on the gymnasium… I shed a tear from my eyes… I’ve heard him calling my names but I ignored him…  I tried my best to hide from him and I succeeded.

I didn’t open my phone that day… After I got home I didn’t bother myself to look for him… I’m angry!  Naiinis ako!  Shuta!  I know,  I’ve seen na hindi siya ang nauna pero dapat tinulak niya agad!  Tangina! Eh napaka gentleman kasi!  Tangina lang! Noong magkita kami sa klase ay hindi ko siya pinapansin…. For a month atleast I’ve successfully get rid of him for a month….

“Please… Kaye… Ganda… Believe me naman oh!  I’m just shock kaya hindi ko siya natulak agad… Fuck!  I love you!  Isang taon na tayo ngayon pa ba ako magloloko?  I can’t do that to you…  You are my life and everything…. Kaye… Please…  Believe me ganda…” He said and his eyes are starting to be teary. Ako si marupok sa kaniya…  Naawa naman!

He beg for my forgiveness and explained everything… I can see the sincerity on his eyes… That Bitch Isabela!  Is an another obsessed admirer of him!  Errr.  I know he’s handsome, pero kailangan ba gano’n maging kadesperada? I tried my best para hindi balikan yung Isabela na ’yon.  But I can’t just stand without doing anything… She’s been excluded in the basketball team… Yeah! Possesive na Kung possessive but I don’t give a damn!

We celebrated our First Anniversary on their province in Kalibo,  Aklan. It was really special and Romantic for both of us…  We spent our time there enjoying our company together… We did fishing,  hiking, Island Hopping and many more. He became overprotective, whenever the side effects of HRT hits me…  Yeah,  I continuously having my HRT. My breast were now developed but it is not that big like any other girls have…  But I still love it, I really do..

When we graduated Senior High School, Clint graduated as the Valedictorian of our Class… And I’m happy and proud as his girlfriend… That day is one of the special moment we had together… We kissed but as I am saying Clint is responsible man he knows his limitations. We never able to do ‘that’ thing yet but I’m willling to give it all to him, He’s my one and only man afterall.

Months from now I’ll be entering college… Me and Clint chose to study in one of the prestigious school here in the Philippines… Before I wanted to study in Harvard but because of change of heart I chose to stay here with Clint. I know my decision is right!   I know…. Some of our friends will study abroad… Like Karl and Carl they will study in Canada…  They will be flying there weeks from now…

Though we will be studying in different universities. I’m still thankful that the friendship we have are great and strong…. I can say that we made a bond that will last ’till the end.

Napabalikwas ako sa higaan ng tumunog na ang alarm clock ko… Today is my 18th Birthday… A smile instantly creept on my face as I remember what will happen today… A great day ahead of mine… Matapos kong ayusin ang aking kam.  When I’m in my comfort room..  I fill the bathtub with water and put essential oil bath in the water. It smells sweet and nice.

It took me two hours before I got out on the comfort room… I wore my robe as I got out of my room and went downstairs the busy crowd welcomed me as I went down stairs.  The party for my birthday will be held on our garden here in the Mansion…  My dad urged and forced me to have this one…  Errr… There will be people from the company and its affiliates….

As I went to the dining room… I see my dad busy talking on his phone… Melissa smiled on me and I gave her a smile too… I pinch the cheek of my 3 years old baby brother… Calix. He’s cute! Really cute! Arg!  Sarap Kagatin!

“Hapoy Birthday, Iha…” saad ni Melissa sa akin.

“Thanks,  Mel…” I said as I went to my father and kissed him on the cheeks…

“Happy Birthday, sweety..” My dad said and he smiled to me ear to ear…

“Your glam team will arrive soon… The people are very busy outside. You are not allowed to go outside since it will be a surprise… Understood?” My dad asked.

I just nod and chuckled…. “Okay Dad…  You’ve been telling me that since then…” I said… We enjoyed eating our brunch together…. Errr.  I’m excited and a little bit nervous.

Clint called me at exactly 12 pm awhile ago…  He does that also on my last birthday he always made sure that he will be the first one to greet me. Followed by Bell and Alex and the rest of my friends…

I look on my reflection on the vanity mirror in front of me…  I almost can’t recognize who’s this damn beautiful lady in front of me. My dad really get me the best glam team… They are indeed wonderful… My black jet hair is shining… The edge of my hair is curly… I wore a small crown with blue diamonds sequins.

I’m wearing an off-shoulder bluegown were vaguely of a gypsy cut, all done in syrupy shades of blue and silver flecked with white that seemed to undulate of their own volition. The down part of the gown consisted of ruffled tiers with flowers embroidered on it. 

I nervously look on the clock on my room.. It’s already 6 in the evening, minutes from now the party will strart…. Clint supposedly here by now but I guess he’s down stairs. Errr.  I’m really nervous at the moment….

“Calm down, Ms. Brent… You are beautiful..” He said as awe and amazement are evident on her eyes…

“Thanks, Cath…” I said to the main make up artist of mine…. Well,  undeniably I look hot gorgeous lady right now… My white shoulders are visible… Errr..

“Are you ready, Ms.  Brent?” The event organizer said.  I nooded.  Clint?  Where’s Clint? He supposedly up here by now…

“Where’s my escort?” I asked….

“Baka nasa baba po, Ma’am…” He said…. Ilan pag tawag ang ginawa niya sa telepono niya at sinabing baba na ako ng hagdan… My shoes are just comfy and perfectly fits on my gown… They help me as I get out on my room….

As I approach the stairs, the nervousness that I’m feeling get on another level.. Gosh!  Where’s Clint? I slowly ascended on the stairs flashes of cameras started to boom around the place…. Ng makababa na ako ay walang Clint ang sumalubong…. But Nathaniel escorted me…

“Thanks, Nat…” Bulong ko dito…  But sadness is evident on my voice…

“Something came up with, Clint. He will be late for minutes…” He said and I just smiled….

I look on the Cameras and forced my self to make a sweet and gentle smile…. As we went near to the garden… Almost all of the people here are oozing with luxury and elegance… But I standout! I know!

“You really look beautiful tonight… Kaye…  Gusto na tuloy kitang agawin kay Clint…” He said then he chuckled in a manly way… Bell and Alex and the rest of the squad are here except Clint that made me feel sad on some ways…  I kissed my dad and Melissa as I went to them…

“You look pretty, Kaye…” Melissa said and I gave her a smile…

The host introduced me as I walk with Clint with grace and head held up high…. I know how to nailed this one… I’m trained for this Anways…

I look all over the place…  Halos hindi mo na makikilala ang garden namin…  The whole place is oozing with luxury and elegance… The theme for today really compliments me but Clint is not here…  I tried to focus my mind to the event.

Matapos kong maipakilala sa lahat ay unti-unti ng umusad ang event…. I can’t focus somehow since hindi ko alam kung nasaan si Clint… But I need to remain my posture…  Cameras are everywhere….

My 18 candles were composing by my friends, cousins,  classmates….  But what made me teary eyed are the messages from Bell and Alex….

“Couz… I know what you have been through but I’m so thankful that you stayed with us… You are one of the greatest gem I have in this whole world… No one could question how much I love you…  And how much how I can sacrifice for you… I love you.. I really hate when I see you cry that’s why I’m very thankful that I could see your smile again… I love you…. I promise you that I will be forever be here for you…. Mwaps” She said at halos may mga luha na na mula sa mga mata Ni Bell but still I managed to hold a grip…. She went near me and gave me tight hug and kiss me on the cheek…

Matapos ang procession ng ibang pang mga 18 candles ay ang mga sumunod naman…  Unti-unti na akong kinakabahan since no one could tell me what happened to Clint. And where is he now….

“Happy Birthday Kaye…” Saad ni Bryan sa’kin… He swayed with the tune of the song…. Binitawan niya ako noong si Karl na….

“Grabe!  Dapat talaga niligawan na kita eh!  Sapakin ko talaga si Clint kung nasaan man siya…” lokong saad niya at napatawa naman ako sa tinuran niya…. Matapos niya ay sinayaw naman ako ni Carl…

“You are really beautiful… Kahit dati pa naman eh…” He said shyly at namula naman ang pisngi ko dahil minsan lang siya magsabi ng ganito…

“Bolero…” I commented and he tap my head before giving my hands to the next…  It’s Nathaniel…

“Super ganda mo talaga, Kaye…. Clint will be here soon don’t worry…” He said…  And I didn’t expect when he kissed me on my cheek…. My 17th will be Clint….

But he’s not here… Kaasa-… Hindi ko na natuloy ang iniisip ko ng biglang may kumanta mula sa entrada ng Garden…. He’s wearing a white suit that made him astonishing and dashing at the same time… Gosh! Where did this man go? But before U could even protest my self to be angry with him… He started to sing a song…

“You and I, we’re like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky

With you, I’m alive

Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide

So stop time right here in the moonlight

’Cause I don’t ever wanna close my eyes

Without you, I feel broke

Like I’m half of a whole.“

I felt like my heart is in chaos as he slowly walk to where I am standing… I felt like my heart is pounding so fast…  Gosh!  The nerve of this man!

“

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold

Without you, I feel torn

Like a sail in a storm

Without you, I’m just a sad song

I’m just a sad song

With you, I fall

It’s like I’m leaving all my past and silhouettes up on the wall.“

Tila ba unti-unting nahahawi ang mga tao mula sa kung nasaan siya…  He really looks handsome tonight… Arg!  Kaasar!  Ba’t may ganitong eksena.. ..

“With you, I’m a beautiful mess

It’s like we’re standing hand and hand with all our fears up on the edge

So stop time right here in the moonlight

’Cause I don’t ever wanna close my eyes

Without you, I feel broke

Like I’m half of a whole.“

I could feel the sudden start of tension from my eyes. Arg!  My make up!  It shouldn’t be damaged. Errr!

“

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold

Without you, I feel torn

Like a sail in a storm

Without you, I’m just a sad song

You’re the perfect melody

The only harmony I wanna hear

You’re my favourite part of me

With you standing next to me.“

As he went near me he hold my hand as he sing continuesly…. He hugged me tight and I felt the fast beating of his heart…  Oh Man! I can still make him nervous…

“

I’ve got nothing to fear

Without you, I feel broke

Like I’m half of a whole

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold

Without you, I feel torn

Like a sail in a storm

Without you, I’m just a sad song

Without you, I feel broke.“

He swayed me as he sing… He looks around na para bang pinagmamalaki niya na Boy Friend ko siya. Gosh!  This man! I really love him…

“Like I’m half of a whole

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold

Without you, I feel torn

Like a sail in a storm

Without you, I’m just a sad song, I’m just a sad song.“

Matapos niyang kantahin ang kanta ay naramdaman ko ang labi niya sa magkabiilaang pisngi ko then he kissed me on my lips, but it was just a peck…

“Sorry… Ganda… Nalate ako… Pero nakita ko yung pag-kiss sayo ni Nathan ahh..” He said at nag-pacute pa.. .

“Ikaw nga yung late diyan eh..”  I said at kunwaring nagtatampo pa…

“Tito would be in rage…. Moment niya na…” Natatawang saad niya at ibinigay na ang kamay ko kay Papa…

I could still feel the chaos he made on my subtle heart…  Gosh!

“Thanks, Dad… Thank you for everything..” I said as he dance with me…

“Anything for my princess..” He said as he kiss me on my forehead…

“Your mom would be really happy… You really look beautiful as her..” He said…  I suddenly shed a tear bacause of overwhelming happiness….

I couldn’t ask for more… I know my mom would be really happy seeing her daughter wearing gown and have the attention of the crowd….

Matapos no’n ay nagpalit ako ng Blue cocktail dress… Ipinakilala ako ni Papa sa mga business partners, Investors at mga kaibigan niya….  It takes half of an hour bago kami muling magkita nila Bell at ni Clint…

TB-17

SPG Content!

Hello Gals!  This chapter won’t be allowed for ages below 18. And if you don’t like Bed Scene… Don’t read it…. Just go to the another chapter.  Thanks gals! ❤❤❤

Ps.  This is my first time writing BS. At first, I’m hesitant but I still decided to post it … Hope you like it!

Habang nag-uusap sina Bell ay hindi pa man ako nakakalapit ay kaagad na akong nilapitan ni Clint.. Nagulat ako when he suddenly hold my hands firmly… “Where are we going?” I asked… I’m confused with his sudden action…

“The party is not yet over…” I said… People seems not to mind us since they are all busy socialing with others… Dad didn’t even notice me too.

“Let’s go to your room… Ganda…” He said in a serious voice…  Okay?  What the hell os Happening?

“Where are we going?” I asked?  But than to answer me binilisan namin ang paglalakad hanggang sa makarating kami sa malaking pintuan ng Mansion… Okay!  What’s happening!

Umakyat kami sa pangalawang palapag kung nasaan ang kwarto ko… Gosh!  He’s acting aggressive and dominant… Ng makapasok kami ng kwarto ko ay sinara niya agad ang pintuan….

“Let’s do it Kaye… Please?” He asked dryly…  Without even knowing what he’s asking for ay nag nod lang ako… He smile from ear to ear. He suddenly pull me closer to me…  My petite body crash Against with his hard chest…. I know Clint has been staying on the gym for a while now…

We haven’t do it before, since we’re still young that time and we’re doing it slowly but I’m willing to give it to him now. Yes,  I am… I know he’s the man I wanted to share my body with… He kissed me hungrily, he started slowly untill he can’t control the urge he’s feeling right now… A moan escaped from me as his kiss deepen…

I felt him smiled within our kisses… “I’ve been waiting for this…  Ganda… I’ll be careful… Would you let me? “ He asked with his eyes full of passion and it’s intensified….

“Yes…” with that he said the words that I haven’t heard from him before.

“I am no saint, Kaye… Let’s make love… Happy Birthday Ganda….” He said as he pull me closer to him again…  He taste every inch of me…My ears, my neck,  my lips…  Everything… I’m starting to lose my control…  For Pete’s sake this is our very first time doing this in a year and a half of relationship we have…

I gasp and moan when he made hickeys on my neck and shoulders…. “Ahhhh!”

“You’re making me crazy… Ganda…“He said sa tila ba nagpapaos na boses.  Gosh! This man!  I love every inch of him… Hindi ko namalayan na nahubad niya na ang dress na suot ko at siya na lang ang may suot na polo ngayon.. .

He unhook my bra, he abled to remove it in a minute… Oh Gosh!  This man is really good! I helped him in unbuttoning his polo… He pulled out his slacks and his manhood is visible from the garments left on him… Gosh! The tent! I pushed him on the bed and helped him removed the garments left on his thighs… Gosh! 

His manhood bounce as it was freed…  It’s huge! Really huge…. I only wore my panty now and my little Kaye is making it’s own tent there… Okay!  Arg!

I hold his manhood with my bare hands, I didn’t able to get a grip on the wholeness of his manhood because of how big it is…  Yeah!  He’s just 18 but seeing this…. My little Kaye won’t even stand a chance on his big reay big manhood. ….

I move my hands up and down on his manhood, faster…. “Kaye… Don’t… I might not be able to hold it longer…” He said dryly…. But I ignored him, I taste his manhood like a kid who tastes lollipop sweetly… I tried to put his wholeness on my mouth but I failed….  I just lick the head of his manhood and his balls instead. Nagsimula ng mag simula siyang maglabas ng puting likido…  I licked it… “Ahhhh!” He moaned…

“Ahhh!  Stop… Ganda… I might not take it any longer anymore…” He said full of love and lust…

I move my hand fast on his manhood as I can, but to my surprised He suddenly lay me down on my bedmaking him on the top of me… He sucks the skin on my neck, Gosh!  For sure that would make another marks!

He lowered his kisses untill he went inches near to my developed breast… He kissed and sucked the pinkish tip of my breast that makes me undeniably satisfied! Gosh!  This man!  “Ahhhh…” I moaned…

While squeezing my left breast he made himself comfortable on the right side.

“Ahhh…  Stop…. Ahhh!” I said as the building up tension starting to make me feel unease para bang any moment ay lalabasan na ako.

He lowered his kisses untill he went to my nape…  He really tastes every inch of me…

“Ahhhh…. Stop…” He suddenly played my little Kaye that made me blush! Gosh! Nakakahiya…

“Stop that… Ahhh!” I burst but he ignored me untill I released white steaky sperms from mine… He licked it!  Oh Gosh!

“You taste sweet…  Ganda…” He said…. Matapos no’n ay pinatalikod niya ako….

“It might hurt you but I’ll be gentle…” He said in a manly voice then kiss and lick my hole… He played with it…  He tighten his tongue and forced it inside my hole….

“Gosh!  That’s dirty…” I said dryly but he just ignored me and continue on what he’s doing…

“I’ll just prepare you…  Ganda…” He said as he licked his fingers hungrily… He entered one of it on my hole… “Ahh..  Fuck!  That hurts!” I said…

“Sorry… Ganda…” He said but suddenly entered another one… “Gosh! Ahhh!” I moaned… He move his fingers in and out… “Ahh..” I moaned…  The pain that I’m feeling before ay unti-unti ng nahahaluan ng sarap…

“Fuck!  Clint! Faster…” I said dryly…. “Lalabasan na ako…” I said… “Not yet…” He said at tinanggal na ang daliri niya sa butas ko.

He put a lubricant on his manhood and jerk it off. Gosh!  He’s really huge! I know Masturbation is normal for him…  But why did he able to have that big one?

He started to fill me in…  “Ahhhh.  That hurts…” I said and pain is evident on me…

“Would you still want me to continue?” He asked…

“Oh Gosh!  Just go on, I can bare it…” I said dryly…  He kissed my lips sweetly and started to move again…

I moaned when his wholeness filled me… “Ahhhh!” he moves slowly but surely….  “Kaye… Ahhh!  You’re so tight ganda! Fuck!” He said. The adrenaline hits him…  He move faster and faster like drilling me….

The room were filled with our moans at ang salpukan ng balat naming dalawa… My room is sound proof and we locked the door surely… I know!  Errr…

“Ahhhh!  Fuck! Malapit na ako… Kaye…” He said…..

Makalipas ang ilang minutong salpukan ng mga balat naming dalawa ay naramdaman ko na ang panginginig niya at pagkislot ng kaniya sa loob ko….  He filled me with his liquid.  Gosh!.

Para bang naubusan ako ng lakas but when I was about to lay on the bed… “We’re not done yet ganda…” He said dryly at naramdaman ko na naman ang pagtigas ng kaniya sa loob ko…. Fudge! Gaano ba katindi ang libido niya?  We’re just 18 but he’s like an amateur with this one…

The party is not yet over and we’re not yet over also….  I guess tonight will be a sleepless night… Errr…

Hanggang sa hindi ko na alam kung gaano namin katagal ginawa ’yon at kung ilang beses…  Isa? Dalawa?  Tatlo?  I don’t know!  But one thing for sure…  I’m severely soar. My body and specifically my holes…  Arg!

TB-18

Isang buwan na matapos ang Birhday ko… Isang buwan na din simula ng may mangyari sa’min ni Clint he bacame more over protective akala mo naman nabuntis niya ako..  As if may matres na biglang lilitaw at hahalo sa mga organs ko…  Funny!

But I couldn’t ask for more…  I felt our love became more stronger… I’m not saying that ‘sex’ would make you stronger but ‘making love’ would make your relationship stronger!

We’re both young and wild,  I must say…  I didn’t expect it coming.  Who would have thought na ang isang Clint Montenegro ay isa pa lang aroganteng lalaki sa kama…  gosh! And his manhood!  Omo!  No!  Don’t think about it anymore…  Kaye! I scolded my self…..

But I still remember when my dad got curious about us morning after that night… That’s not the first time he stayed over our house but that’s the first time we stayed on the same room… Gosh!  Nakakahiya…

“What happened to the both of you yesterday?” my body stiffened when my dad asked that question. I slowly put down the tablespoon and knife that I’m holding…  Did they know?  Did they notice?  Gosh!  Nakakahiya! The glow up after sex is indeed true my skin is shining and I felt fresh as I woke up earlier…  But with the questioning looks of my fathet made me stiffened…

“W-we’re sorry… Dad… Medyo napagod po kasi ako kagabi kaagad…” Nauutal na saad ko…

“Pero you look glowing and blooming,  princess…” He said.  Gosh!  My goodness… Nasamid naman si Clint…

“M-maaga po kasi nakatulog si Kaye… Tito..” He said at ramdam ko ang kaba sa boses ni Clint…. Gosh! Nakakahiya! Pinilit ko nga lang ang sarili ko n makababa ng hagdan dahil untill now my hole is sore.  Gosh!  This man beside me chuckled a while ago na para bang tuwang-tuwa pa na nasasaktan ako. Grr!

We’re just 18 pero to tell you mga sis lumalaban!  Lumalaban siya mga sis! Arg!Pero sorry, I’m possessive girlfriend! I can’t share what’s mine….  Sorry, Bish! When you see him naked you wouldn’t believe how mature his body become from that man I met 2 years ago.

Today I’ll be sleeping on his house…  Yes,  dad allowed me to sleep on their house since his parents are there…. But nah!  I can feel it,  Clint’s being wise right now….

I just wore a short and a gucci shirt… Matapos maiparada sa tapat ng bahay nila Clint ang Family car namin ni Manong Karding ay nagpaalam na ako dito…  I brought some of my things in here pero I have things naman on Clint’s Cabinet pero those times na natutulog ako sa kanila noon ay sa lapag siya at ako ang nasa kama niya…  But I think things will change now…

Pinagbuksan naman ako ni Clint ng gate and kissed me on my cheek… “Have you eaten dinnerbbefore you went here? Kain muna tayo nagluto si mama ng paborito mo…” He said and get my bag from me…  Kaagad naman ako sinalubong ni Kiko ng mahigpit na yakap…

“I missed you,  Kiko…” I said at ginulo ko pa ang buhok niya….

“Miss you ate Kaye…” Saad niya…. It’s been 2 months ng makapunta ako sa bahay nila Clint since I became busy on some matters na kailangang asikasuhin during my birthday and after my birthday…

Since I’m 18, my mom’s account and assets were transferred to my name legally… From assets,  bank accounts, cars, rest house,  town house and etc. my mom work really hard for it…  I know… I should make the best out of it… That’s why after my birthday I became really busy but things are smooth because of our family lawyer…

Nagmano naman ako kina tito at tita Pagkadating namin sa dining area…  Naging masaya at maayos ang pagsasalo namin… We went to Clint’s room after we eat dinner…  Nauna akong mag asikaso sa CR to do my night routines and change my clothes from my pajamas…

Matapos ko ay pumasok si Clint sa banyo… Gosh!  Para naman kaming mag-asawa nito!  Err. Char.  Habang nagsusuklay ay lumabas si Clint ng banyo and his top less!  Gosh!  He is showing off his abs! Kaasar…

“Stop looking on my body… Ganda…” He said teasingly… My face reddened.

“Asa!” saad ko at iniwas ang tingin sa kaniya at bumalik na sa pagsusuklay… But I’m shock when he hug me from my back…  He sniffed my neck that tickled me…

“Nakikiliti ako…” natatawang saad ko habang iniiwas ko ang leeg ko…

“Ang bango mo…  Ganda…” He said…  I suddenly felt something on my back!   Gosh! He’s getting hard… Gosh!

“Can we?” He asked… “I couldn’t just stop my self not to feel crazy towards you…  Ganda…  I love you…” He said…  Then started to plant kisses on my neck… Nakakakiliti!

I faced him and I saw his eyes full of love, lust, amazement and intensified…  He kissed me, he started slowly and as time goes on he became more passionate and more hungry…  I could feel that I’m losing my breath…. He stop but that’s just his way to slid his tongue on mine…  We taste each other passionately… He started to undress me…  I told you… My three days here will be like this…  I guess.. But I love it… Shhh. Haha.

“I love you… ganda…” He said between our kisses….

“I love you too…” I answered…. Later that night I tried my very best not to make loud noises…. His parents might hear us… I used his pillow to prevent noises coming from me… Gosh this man is really big….

“…okay class that will be all see you on monday…” our last professor said… I could feel that this program that I’m taking might kill me sooner or later…. I took Bachelor of Science in Accountancy… While Clint took Business administration… He easily entered the varsity team of the University since he’s one of the ace from our school’s basketball team….

As I went out of the room… I’ve seen Clint patiently waiting for me… Halos pinagtitinginan na siya ng mga babae at pusong babae but he’s just ignoring them… Clint and I are in the University but the rest of the gang entered different university in and out of the country… Nathan is working now on their company while Bell already flew to United States…. Her boyfriend Bryan is in based in US also…  Errr… Hindi mo talaga mapaghihiwalay ang dalawang ’yon… Sana all!

“Hey!” I called him as I went near him… Sinara naman niya ang librong binabasa niya at binalik ang pagbati sa’kin.. He kissed me on my cheek… Hinawakan niya naman ang kamay ko habang naglalakad kami palabas ng Univ…  This University is great since they’re allowing us, transgenders to wear whatever we want to wear, so I’m wearing our school’s women uniform…

“I’ve texted Alex already at nandoon na daw siya…” I said to him… Habang naglalakad ay bigla akong may nakabungguan na babae…  “Sorry, Miss…” saad ng pamilyar na boses…  Her perfume…  I could still remember her…. It’s Aika…

Agad ko naman siyang hinanap sa likuran ko but the girl who crashed with me is nowhere to be found… But I’m sure…  Really sure…  That’s Aika!  Did she came back here in the Philippines? I thought she studied abroad? Or may be bumalik na siya…  Pero if ever na siya ngayon.. She should have known us…

“Why?  What are you thinking?” Clint asked. Napabalik naman ako sa reyalidad… May be I’m just worrying for nothing… At least.

“Nothing…” I said. Habang nasa taxi ay hindi ko pa din mawala sa isipan ko ang encounter namin ni Aika…

“Have you seen anyone familiar to us in the school?” I asked….

Kumunot naman ang noo niya atsaka umiling….

“Why?  Have you seen one of our SHS classmates?” He asked but I just shrugged…

“Just asking…” I said.

The next thing I knew… Aika… She’s really back… And I guess pinaglalaruan talaga kami ng tandahana…. Masa canteen ako ngayon ng school sitting with her across the table… Yeah… Para bang walang nangyaring initan sa pagitan namin…. I can’t sense kung pina-plastic niya ba ako pero kilala ko ang lahi niya…. But I think she already moved on from the past… May be she doesn’t like Clint anymore…

“Really?  I’m so proud to all of them… Grabe parang dati pangarap lang nila ’yon but look at them unti-unti na nilang naabot ’yon…  Kamusta naman kayo ni Clint?” Ge asked… I suddenly felt a tension builds uo on mine…  Did she already moved on?

“Oh!  Come on… I don’t like Clint anymore… I know you would be together… Both of you suits perfectly with each other..” She said… I can sense the sincerity on her voice bit I couldn’t find it on my heart. Omo!  May be it’s just a defense Mechanism of mine…

Halos ibang-iba na siya sa Aika na nikilala ko para bang napaka-approachable na niya.. She became jolly person… I guess she really changed…

Matapos naming magpaalam sa isa’t isa ay bumalik na ako sa class ko…  Clint is not around since medyo nagkaiba ang sched namin…  I understand naman…  And hindi naman namin laging mag kasama eh… Pero I’m just hoping that things will be alright… Pero para bang may mali… Para bang may kakaiba akong nararamdaman…. Errrr. Scratch that!  Your just over thinking Kaye… I warned myself…

Nasa lugar ako kung saan ko palagi hinihintay si Clint simula ng mabago yung schedule niya…. I’m just scrolling on facebook ng marinig ko ang dalawang pamilyar na boses…. It was Clint with Aika…  They’re laughing about something… Para bang may kung ano akong naramdaman sa puso ko… But I just ignored… I have no time to be immature anymore….

“Hey… Ganda… Nagkausap na pala kayo ni Aika kanina? Cool!  Dito din siya nag-aaral…” Clint said but I just smiled awkwardly…. Errr.  Okay…. You shouldn’t OA, Kaye…  You shouldn’t….

“Oo…  Nag-usap na kami kanina… Uuwi ka na din?” I asked…. Ngumiti si Aika sa’kin bago sumagot…

“Yeah…  Pero my sunod is on the parking area na… Bye love-birds…” she said at pinindot pa ang tagiliran ko. Suntukin kita diyan eh! Char..

Matapos namin magpaalam kay Aika ay naglakad na kami palabas….

“Ganda… Can I sleep on your house tonight?” Clint asked…  Weh!  If I know…

“Hmmm.  Bakit?” I teased him….

He chuckled… “I missed you really…” He said at sabay na kaming umuwi ng bahay…  Same on his house ay may mga extrang gamit na din si Clint sa bahay kaya okay lang na mag stay siya kaagad doon….

Hindi ko namalayan na wala na pala sa isip ko si Aika….

I look on the man beside me na para bang maamong tupang natutolog pero grabe naman sa kama… Nakaisang round lang kami kagabi since may pasok kami ng afternoon ngayong araw… Every Wednesday lang ang same sched namin…  Kaasar!

But it’s okay…  We both have our private life pa din naman eh…

I looked on his eyes and thick eye brows… He’s ponted nose and pink kissable lips that would girls will die for… He’s undeniably hot and handsome… Gosh! I can’t still believe that this man beside me will be in a relationship for two years…  It’s just that he’s really the guy that I wanted to share my life with…

Sana lang ay wala ng humadlang… Just thinking na may iba siyang babae could make me crazy…  Gosh!  Siguro ipapatapon ko talaga yun sa Manila Bay…  Chos!

“Done loooking at me?” He asked while his eyes are still closed…

“Asa!” I said at tumalikod ako sa kaniya. Gosh!  Kanina pa ata siya gising ah!  Kaasar!  Nakakahiya…

Nagulat ako ng binuhat niya ako paharap sa kaniya…

“Oh!  My little shy Kaye…” He kissed me on my neck that tickled me..  I laugh hard as I can… “Want another one?” He asked…  I forgot na wala pa din akong damit…  But before he could even make a move ay tinulak ko na siya at pumasok na sa banyo niyo ko.

“Hey… Let’s shower together…” He asked desperately on the other side of the door but I just ignored him… No!  Not now!  I wanted to be at peace at the moment… I laughed…

Gosh! This man really makes me crazy and makes me forget things…

TB-19

I’ve been patiently waiting to Clint…  Magtatatlong oras na simula ng tapos ng klase niya pero hindi pa din siya dumadating sa usual na kitaan namin… I’ve been texting him but no response…. Should I go to him? Arg! This is really the first time na ginawa niya ’to sa’kin…

He will text or call me kapag malelate siya. He will make sure that I’m okay habang hinihintay siya… But here I am hindi man lang niya sinasagot ang mga tawag ko… Kaasar! Anong oras na kaya! Mag-sisix na ng gabi!

“Sorry ganda… Late na kasi kami pinalabas ng room eh…” He said then kissed me. Gosh!  Ba’t ba kasi ang rupok ko sa kaniya?  Hindi man lang magpakipot….

“That’s okay tara na…” I said then gave him a reassuring smile… Before I could even turn my back from where he came out,  I’ve seen her… I’ve seen Aika… Looking on us….  What’s wrong with her? That smirk?  What was that for? Gosh! Or may be I’m just hallucinating again? Yeah,  I must.  May be napagod lang ako today dahil sa mga activities at quizzes namin sa mga major subjects namin….

Ngayong araw ay napag-usapan namin na makipag kita kay Alex… Habang naghihintay ng order namin ay dumating na si Alex….

“Besh!  Na-miss kita! Ilang linggo na simula ng nagkita tayo eh… Pati nga si Bell ’di ba minsan na lang tayo tatlo magkaroon ng girl’s talk…” Saad ni Alex. “Hello Clint… Lalim ng iniisip ah…” Biro ni Alex kay Clint at tumawa naman ito…  Pero Clint is really acting strange and unusual these past few days…  He’s acting weird.. . Really weird… There are calls na hindi niya pinaparinig sa akin pero hindi naman siya ganoon no’n.

But I have my trust on him… I trust him… I really do… Speaking of, ng tumunog ang cellphone ni Clint ay in-excuse niya ang sarili niya sa amin ni Alex….

“Lumalaki ’yan bess ahh…  Araw-araw na ba?” Alex teased me but I just laughed with his words hindi ko pa din mawala sa isip ko ang mga unusual na kilos ni Clint sa mga nakaraang araw…

But I’ll just ignore it… I trust and respect him  his privacy naman eh.. . Gaya nga ng sinabi ko we built our relationship with trust and respect…

Habang nagcacatching-up ay halos kalahating oras bago bumalik si Clint… “Ganda…  I have to go somewhere nga pala… I can’t be with you today girls… Alex keep my princess ah… Bawi ako next time… Mag pasundo ka kay Mang Karding… Ganda… “ He said. He kissed me on the lips but before I could even ask where he’s going he immediately made an exit on us…  Naiwan naman kaming dalawa ni Alex…

I tried my best not to over think… May be something just came up… About what?  He usually tells me everything kapag may nangyayari kahit saan mang aspeto ng buhay niya… Arg! It frustrates me!

Sinubukan kong ilihis ang attention ko sa pagba-bonding namin ni Alex since ngayon na lang ulit kami nagkita pero paminsan-minsan ay naiisip ko pa din si Clint. Gosh!  May be I’m just over thinking things.. . Errr…  I shouldn’t be like this… May be may bagay talagang hindi kaya i-share sakin si Clint at the moment… That hurts but I understand….

The moment I knew ay para bang nagbago na ang lahat…. There are moments that I really can’t stop my self to question what was happening with us… May problema ba kami?  May problema ba siya sa’kin? I don’t know!  I’m really clueless… I am!

Halos isang buwan na simula ng mag-iba ang kilos ni Clint… There are times na para bang iniiwasan niya ako… Iniiwasan niya ang tawag at mensahe ako… Dumadalas din ang paghihintay ko sa hintayin namin… Dumadalas din ang pagsasama nila ni Aika… I wanna confront them but I don’t have evidence… I felt like there’s really something going on…

“What the hell had happen to your face?!” I blurted as Clint enter the cafeteria… Naagaw ko naman ang atensiyon ng ibang tao na nandito kaya nakaramdam ako ng hiya…

“Stop making scene…” He said na para bang may halong inis yung tono niya…. Napatigagal naman ako dahil sa sinabi niya….

“Gutom ka na ba? Ako na lang ang mag-oorder…” I said at tumayo na…  He just nodded on me. Something on me is starting to fall apart…  Para bang may gumuguho sa loob ko na hindi ko maipaliwanag…. May be I should understand him more…  Siguro ay may pinagdaraanan lang siya…

When I came back para bang gusto kong manakit!  Para bang gusto kong ibalik ang dating walang kinatatakutang ako… Nakaupo si Aika katabi ni Clint…  Habang nagbubulungan at tumatawa pa….

Natigil lamang sila ng inilipag ko ang tray sa harap ni Clint sumeryoso siya ng tingin sa akin… “Thank you…” He said…

I just nodded… Hindi ko alam pero para bang dinudurog ang puso ko…

“Kaye…  Have you heard?  Clint and I will be teaming up to present our department…” Aika announced happily… Okay!  I don’t know about that thing…. What’s happening?

“Really? Congratulations…” I said and smiled to Aika…

Para bang wala ako sa harapan nila…  They’re happily enjoying the company of each other na para bang wala yung girlfriend ni Clint sa harap niya…. Tangina!

Matapos kumain ay bumalik na ako next class ko…  What made me more disappointed? Sasabay na lang daw si Clint kay Aika papunta sa building nila…  I just agreed na para bang tanga.. . The whole class ay para bang tuliro at wala ako sa katinuan… Namalayan ko na lang ang sarili ko sa bench kung saan kami magkikita ngayon ni Clint….

What’s happening? May nagawa ba akong masama?  Gosh!  I really don’t know what’s happening… May be he has a surprise for our second anniversary… Gano’n naman ’yon ’di ba?  Kailangang may pagimik… I convinced myself…. But why he get irritated when I ask about his swelling lips? May be he’s just worn out at nakuha niya lang ’yon kung saan.  May be…

Makalipas ang ilang oras na paghihintay ay dumating na si Clint… Sinalubong ko naman siya ng matamis na ngiti…  I was about to kiss him on the lips pero iniwas niya ang mukha niya kaya sa cheek niya tumama ang halik ko….

“Clint can I go to your house?” I asked… Yes…  I want him to do it with me again…  May be ’yon yung Kailangan ulit naming gawin since ilang buwan na din ng huli namin ’yong ginawa…

“No!” He responded quickly… At iniwas ang tingin sa akin… Ano bang nangyayari? Tangina naman oh!

“Why? Sige na please…” I’m not like this…  But it turns out na kaya ko pa lang mag mukhang tanga…  If anyone would see us?  I will really look like a Horny whore for them…

“What do you want? Would you like to sex with me?” He asked without any hint of respect… Natitigagal ako sa paraan ng pagsabi niya…

“Oo… I want to do it again…” I pulled myself together at inipon ang confidence na natitira sa akin…  Fuck!  Putangina! I look like a whore..

“Gano’n naman pala eh…” He said arrogantly… What happened? What happened to the gentle and soft spoken Clint? Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko but I didn’t argue with him anymore…

Imbes na sa bahay niya nila kami pumunta sa isang Hotel malapit sa school kami Nagtungo… Nahihiya ako!  Naka-uniform pa kami for Pete’s sake! Puta!  Nakakahiya…

When we entered the room he immediately push me on the bed… He kissed me hungrily… He sucked and made marks on my neck and shoulders skin… He’s really wild. He’s acting strange and different… There’s something that I wanted to feel but I can’t feel that anymore…

When we’re both naked, I can see something on his eyes but I can’t identify it…  Doesn’t he like me anymore? “Stop the staring game..” He said… Then he continued…. I don’t know if we just had sex or we made love… But still I’m hoping that we made love…

When we made love I wanted to believe that he’s still in to me…  That he still loves me…  right? That he still wants me… right? That he still have hots on me… But why? Bakit iba siya umakto? Tangina…  Nasasaktan na ako pero initindihin ko siya…

Nagising ako ng bandang madaling araw na…  We didn’t go home…  Dito kami nagstay sa Hotel na ’to… Nakatayo siyang nakatalikod mula sa’kin… “Oo!  Hihiwalayan ko na siya!  Tang ina!  Paulit-ulit? Mag tiwala ka na lang…” He said on the phone at pinatay niya na ’yon…  I could feel my heart is tearing apart…  I could feel my heart na unti-unti ng nadudurog…  I could feel the sorrow of my heart but I don’t want to believe what I’ve heard… Ba’t gano’n? Parang kahapon lang masaya pa kami…  Bakit gano’n?

I face my back on him…  Tears suddenly flow to my eyes but I really tried my best not to cry… He hugged me… I know it!  Mahal niya pa din ako! May be mali lang ang dinig ko sa telepono…  I’m sure he loves me… But the tears won’t from my eyes won’t stop… I tried not to sob and cry out really hard…  May be this is just dreaming….  May be…

You’re strong Kaye…  I know it…  You had been together for almost two years…  It won’t just be a waste… Believe it!  Don’t forget the trust and respect,  Kaye! Don’t!

But is he still respecting you? Is he?  The other side of my mind asked but I couldn’t find and know the answer….

Kinaumagahan ay umuwi na kami…  Nakapagtext ako kagabi kay Daddy na hindi ako makakauwi…

Clint has been so quiet since then but I’m just ignoring it…  Kung dati siya ang madaldal kapag nag-uusap kami ngayon ay ako na… But I don’t mind…  May be he is just stress out! And remember, anniversary na namin next week… May be he’s just playing and messing with my thoughts….

Hindi na siya nag-abala pang maihatid ako sa bahay ng maisakay niya ako sa Taxi…. I feel I need to sleep kaya pag kauwi ko matapos magbihis ay natulog muli ako…

Halos gabi na ng magising ako…  I’ve checked my phone kung nagtext o tumawag ba si Clint but he didn’t. Not even a single text where there…  He didn’t even ask kung nakauwi na ba ako… Fuck!  I’m  starting to be emotional! Tears started to fall from my eyes again…  I know I look dumb pero I can feel that Clint is just stress out this past few weeks….

I washed my face and put a minimal amount of make up to cover my swollen eyes…. Pag ka baba ko ay saktonf dinner na…  I don’t feel like eating pero halos isa’t kalahating araw na pala walang laman ang sikmura ko…

I kissed my dad on the cheek and greeted Melissa…  Something is off on the table… I could see that my dad’s eyes have dark circles around of it… Is he stress also?  There’s a sudden pang of guild started to bloom on me..  Oh God!  I know my father’s stress about something… I could feel it…  The table is somehow off and awkward na para bang nakikisabay sa lungkot at sakit na nararamdaman ng puso ko…

Matapos kumain ay kaagad nagpaalam si Dad at pumunta sa office niya sa bahay I could feel that Melissa is worried about my father too…

“What’s the matter Melissa?” I suddenly asked out of the blue…

“I can’t interfere about it… Kaye…  Sorry…  You should ask your father instead..  Kaye…  Sorry talaga…” She said and I just nodded..

Matapos no’n ay pumunta ako sa office ni Dad… But before I could even enter…  I’ve heard a broken glass on the other side of the door….

“What the fuck! Is he that desperate?” He asked on the other line of the phone…

“That silverio!  Is he really that mad!  My goodness! It’s been decades! Fuck that man!” My father shout and echoed on the whole library… My body stiffened… Silverio?  Sino ’yon?  I haven’t heard that name before…  Wala din akong kilala na investor or parner ni Dad na Silverio sa company…

I continued listening on him! But I could feel my father’s fear…  I could feel it…  Ngayon ko na lang ulit siya marinig na matakot…

“Putangina! Saktan niya na ang lahat wag lang ang mga anak ko!  Magkakamatayan kami!  Pukingina niya!” My dad said angrily… I think, My dad doesn’t want to stress me out about it… I ignored it at sinubukang alisin sa isip ko ang narinig ko mula kay Dad…  What’s happening? Bakit wala akong alam sa nangyayari sa paligid… Tangina!

Una si Clint ngayon naman si Dad…  Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko… Natatakot ako! I didn’t expect these things coming… If I just knew sana ay naihanda ko ang sarili ko.  Tangina!

TB-20

CHAPTER 20

Hello, Gals! Kindly play “Leaves” by Ben and Ben for this Chapter. Chos. Hindi naman required. ❤

Kinabukasan ay halos hindi ko na alam ang gagawin… I felt like the past is repeating again… But this time it involves two people na importante sa’kin.. I can’t even focus on my studies… I can’t even focus on anything…

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko matutulungan si Dad sa kung ano mang problema ang pinagdaraanan niya…. I know may kinalaman ’yon sa kompanya… He built that empire with his hardwork and blood, I’m sure he won’t make it fall that easily….

I know Melissa is a great help to dad but I felt useless, I can’t do anything at the moment lalo pa’t occupied din ako ng pag-iisip tungkol kay Clint but I’m still keeping my sanity… I don’t need to look stress and haggard but deep inside I’m suffering…. I’m starting to feel anxiety… And I can’t bear with it… I just can’t…

“Ms. Brent…. You are spacing out? Are you okay?” Tanong naman sa’kin ng prof namin… Napatingin lahat sila sa gawi ko… I just nodded on her… Matapos ang mahigit ilang oras na klase na halos lumulutang lang ang isip ko ay pumunta na ako sa Bench kung saan ko hinihintay si Clint… Should I tell Clint na may problema sa bahay? No! Nararmdaman ko may problema din siya….

Makalipas ang ilang oras na paghihintay ay wala pa din si Clint… He didn’t texted me kaninang umaga at kaninang lunch… At ngayon hindi pa din niya ako tinatawagan o kinakamusta man lang…

“Nasaan na siya?“I asked… Sinubukan kong tawagan at contactin si Clint but he’s not answering my calls… Wala ding response mula sa mga text messages ko…

Dahil sa tagal ko ng paghihintay ay pumunta na ako sa building nila….

“Hey Red… Have you seen Clint?” I asked one of his classmate na galing sa library…

“Si Clint? Kanina pa siya umalis ahh… Nagmamadali siya kanina… Kasama niya yung Aika na partner niya sa pageant…” I stiffened from his words… Bakit hindi siya nag-sabi sa’kin? Bakit hindi siya nag-paalam? Bakit? Bakit binabalewala niya na lang ako? Tangina! Tangina! Gusto kong magalit pero hindi ko magawa… Nangako ako naiinitindihin ko siya… Nangako kami na rerespetuhin namin ang isa’t isa…

Pero tangina lang parang kahapon lang ang saya saya pa namin… Bakit niya ginagawa sa akin ’to? Pinaghihintay niya ako sa wala….

Habang naglalakad palabas ng school ay naisip kong pumunta na lang sa bahay nila Clint… But I can’t… Not now…

When my phone rang, my dad’s in the phone… “Yes, Dad?” I tried to remain calm and sound like happy to cheer him up also…

“Kaye… Are you with Clint anak?” He asked…

“Hmmm.. No, Dad. Bakit po?” I asked…

“Can you go home early, sweety?” I could feel the burden he’s feeling right now… And the best thing to do at the moment is to be with my Dad….

“Yes, Dad… Pauwi na po ako…” I said at pinatay na ang tawag….

Maya-maya ay naka-receive ako ng text mula kay Clint…

“Nakauwi na ako something urgent came up… Don’t go to my house…” Clint said… ’Yon na ’yun? Wala man lang sorry? Wala man lang dahilan kung bakit ngayon niya lang ako sinabihan… Ba’t gano’n? Pakiramdam ko na babaliwala ako… Pakiramdaman ko nag-iba na siya… Ibang-iba!

But I should get a hold of me… Dapat hindi ako panghinaan ng loob… I should fight for this… I should fight for our relationship… I should…. Kung hindi niya kayang lumaban ngayon… Ako… Ako ang lalaban para sa relasyon naming dalawa… I love Clint… I really do…

Hindi ko namalayan na nasa harap na pala ako ng mansion… I immediately went to my room and changed my clothes… Pagdating ko sa dining area ay ramdam ko ang bigat ng atmosphere…

I kissed my Dad on the cheek, I could feel that he’s tired and burdened…. I could feel na pagod na pagod na ang Daddy ko….

Matapos namin kumain ay pinapunta ako ni Dad sa Office niya sa bahay…

“Sweety… Would you like to follow your cousin abroad?” My Dad asked I immediately disagreed with him since I don’t want to be far from Clint. I don’t… Lalo pa ngayon na may problema siya…

“I don’t want to Dad… I like to stay here with you…” And Clint… I thought…

“Is there a problem, Dad?” I asked hesitantly… Though it is really visible from him…

“Wala naman anak… But if you change your mind just tell me at ipapaayos ko kaagad sa lawyer natin…” He said and give me a reassuring smile…

“Dad… Are you okay?” I couldn’t hold of myself…. I’m not okay… I am not… Tears suddenly flow to my eyes….

“I’m okay, sweety…” Dad said at tumayo siya at hinagkan ako… I could feel the warmth from him. I felt safe and secured with my Dad…

“Everthing is okay, right Dad?” I asked. Gosh! Get a hold of yourself.. Kaye! You should be strong!

“Na’ko sweety… Naglalambing ang big princess ko ah…” He caressed my hair sweetly… I’ll be strong Dad… I will… For you…

Hindi ko na pinaalam kina Bell at Alex ang nangyayari sa pamilya namin… For sure lahat naman talaga sa pamilya nila may mga pinagdadaanan…

I should make a way about it alone… At hindi na idamay pa sila sa kung ano mang problema ang nararanasan ng pamilya ko at namin Ni Clint… I’m waiting for Clint to tell his problems from me… May be he can’t just tell it to me yet…

While browsing on the internet, I’ve seen Anika’s IG story… It’s Anika with Clint… They’re smiling from ear to ear… With a caption… ’Thanks for coming with me, Buds..“

Tears suddenly flew to my eyes.. May be he went with her to buy something for us..mm martyr na kung martyr pero naniniwala ako na Clint loves me… I will just let it slide… Magbubulagbulagan ako hangga’t kaya ko….

“Hey Clint… Where do you want to go? Ayoko pa kasing umuwi eh…” I said to him… Surprisingly Clint is with me… Pero para bang wala siya sa mood…

“I wanna go home…” He said to me

I intertwined our hand… I felt him stiffened but let me hold his hands… I can see something on his eyes… But I can’t name it…

“Okay… Can I go to your house?” I asked…

“NO!” sigaw niya sa’kin…. Natigagal ako pero I just ignored it…

“Please… Pogi… Miss ko na si Kiko eh…” I said… But he ignored me…

“Can’t you understand? Hindi nga pwede…. Stop this bullshits Kaye bago pa ako mainis…” I followed him like a dog… I wanted to cry but I can’t show it to him… I can’t….

“Okay…” I answered… Matapos niyang maisakay ako sa taxi ay hindi man lang siya nagpaalam.. Walang kiss… Walang hug… Walang kahit ano… Puta! Parang winawasak na ang puso ko….

Pero okay lang naman eh… Ngayon lang iyan… Alam kong may pinagdaraanan lang si Clint… I should stay strong… I should work for our relationship kahit ako na lang… Kahit ako na lang ang lumalaban. Ang bobita ko ba? Pasampal nga ako….

Nararamdaman ko sa puso ko na may unti-unti ng nadudurog at bumibigay pero I won’t let it to be destroyed completely… I won’t… I will fight hanggang wala pang sumusuko sa’min…. I will…

When the sun rays enveloped the whole room… I smiled… Today I will make a change… I will do everything para mapasaya si Clint… I will make everything perfect… Kadalasan ay siya ang nagsusurprise but this time ako naman ang magsusurprise sa kaniya….

I already planned everything yesterday for this wonderful day… I’ve texted him the place and time for our meet up later… Yes, today is the day…. This is our second anniversary… I let out a smile on my lips! Gosh! For sure babalik ulit kami sa dati once I surprised him…

I’m on hand on this celebration pero tinulungan ako ni Alex… Binati ako ng mga kaibigan ko para sa Anniversary namin ni Clint pero si Clint hindi pa din siya nagtetext sa’kin… But it’s okay… May be he’s just busy on something…

I hurriedly took a shower…. I decided to wear a casual wear… A yellow A-line dress. It was figure hugging and very short. The hem ended at the middle of my thighs. It emphatized my long legs and white skin. After putting a minimal amout of make up, ay bumaba na ako…. Hindi na ako nag lunch pa since it’s already 11 am in the morning…

But as as I see my dad, with his worn out look para bang nahabag ang loob ko… Pero pinilit ko pa ding ngumiti… I hugged him tight… “Bye dad…” I said at lumabas na… Nagpahatid ako kay Manong Karding sa lugar na pagkikitaan naman ni Clint…

Pagkarating ko ay tinulungan ako ni Manong ibaba ang lahat ng mga kahon na dala ko… I brought baloons, designs and etc.. I’ll prepare everything by myself…. It’s an open place sa isang parke na madalas namin puntahan ni Clint….

Makalipas ang ilang oras ay natapos ko na ang paglalagay ng mga designs sa buong paligod…. It’s 5 in the afternoon at halos padilim na ang paligid… Binuksan ko na ang mga ilaw at napangiti ako dahil it’s successfully installed….

I did everything I can to make it perfect… May isang mesa sa gitna ng lugar na kahapon pa namin naayos ni Alex…. The foods will be delivered here soon.. Gosh! Kinakabahan ako… But doing this makes me happy… My heart’s beating so fast kahit wala pa man si Clint… For sure matutuwa siya sa lahat ng ’to… A smile attached on my face while I’m waiting for him… I brought him a couple ring since siya lang lagi ang nagbibigay sa’min…. Yeah I partnered it with my necklace na binigay niya sa’kin noong first month namin… Gosh that man!

It’s already 8 pm pero wala pa din siya, dalawang oras na simula ng usapan namin. Ang natitirang ilaw na lang ay ang mula sa mga poste at ilaw na ikinabit ko… I smiled the place looks perfect kahit ako lang mag-isa ang gumawa…

I patiently look on my phone habang tinitext at tinatawagan ko siya it’s ringing sa unang limang tawag but suddenly I can’t contact his number…

“Where is he?” I asked out of nowhere…

I’m starting to feel nervous at the moment.. I won’t lose hope… I know he will come… May be na lowbar lang siya at natraffic while he’s on his way here….

But ten minutes after 8 ay wala pa din siya… I suddenly felt pang of pain in my heart… What happen? Wala naman akong nagawa eh… I didn’t do anything para magalit siya sa’kin….

But my thoughts suddenly vanished when a taxi stopped on the front of the place… My heart beats fast… Gosh! He came! Thank you, Lord! Thank you!

I’m right! It’s Clint! He looks… awful! Gusot gusot ang damit niya at para bang hindi niya pinaghandaan ang pagpunta dito… I felt hurt… This the first time he did this to me… But I don’t care the important is nandito siya…

“Hey… Happy Anniversary…” I said and hugged him tight pero hindi siya tumugon sa mga yakap ko… I was about to kiss his lips pero iniwas niya yung mukha niya…. It’s hurting inside… But I tried my best not to show him na nasasaktan ako… Kaya ko pa… Kaya ko pang itago ang sakit… Gano’n naman yung kailangan minsan di ba? Magtiis? Hindi naman natin kailangang laging masaya lang….

“Kumain ka na ba? I ordered food kumain muna tayo…” I askes hurriedly but he didn’t respond mero’n na naman siyang pasa sa gilid ng labi niya…

“Anong nangyari diyan?” I asked at hahawakan ko sana ang gilid ng labi niya pero mabilis niyang himawakan ang kamay ko…

“Please… Don’t waste my time… Pwede ba? Umayos ka nga Kaye… Naiinis na ako! Andami mong napupuna!” He blurted suddenly para naman akong natigagal sa kinatatayuan ko at dahan dahang ibinaba ang kamay ko… This is not right….

“B-ba’t mo ba ginagawa sa’kin ’to? M-may nagawa ba akong mali? Sabihin mo naman sakin Clint oh.. Nagmumukha na kasi akong tanga…” I tried my best not to cry in front of him but I can’t, I failed… Unti-unting pumapatak ang mga luha sa mata ko…

“Tinatanong mo ako kung bakit?” He laughed sarcastically… My heart is starting to broke in to pieces…

“Gusto mo na bang makipaghiwalay? Ako kasi gusto ko na…” Walang bahid ng kasinungalingang saad niya but I didn’t believe on it… I won’t… Never!

“No.. Clint… Ofcourse not!” I said… Gosh! Baka kasi umiiyak ako… I wiped my face instantly… “Clint… Please… Don’t say that again…” I hugged him tight… Please.. . Don’t break up with me… .

“Clint tell me? Ako ba ang may problema? Please I’ll change… Hindi ko na gagawin yung mga bagay na ayaw mo… “ I pleaded. I tried to kiss him again but this time he pushed me…

“Clint naman! Tangina! Ano bang problema mo?” Sigaw ko sa kaniya….

“Promblema ko? Ikaw! Nakakahiya ka! Satingin mo ba mahal kita? Nakakasawa ka! Masiyado kang immature! Sawang sawa na ako sayo! Sa totoo nga niyan gusto ko lang naman makipag try na makipag-sex sayo eh… Pero tangina nakakasawa ka!” sigaw niya sakin….

I felt my body trembled on his words… I can’t believe it… I thought we made love… I thought it’s not just lust… Pero ano ’to? Puta ang sakit…

“No… Clint… No! You’re just kiddin right? Please… Clint… Wag mong sasabihin ’yon..” He cutted me….

“Maghiwalay na tayo….” He said… Para bang nabingi ako… Para bang unti-unti ng dinudurog ang puso ko….

“W-what?” I asked again, Hoping that I’ve heard him wrong….

“Let’s break up! Puta! Saan ba doon ang hindi mo maunawaan? LET’S. BREAK. UP!” sigaw niya sa’kin….

I can’t bear it… My world crumpled in to pieces… Para bang isang basura lang ako na pwede ng palitan…

“Ayaw ko na sayo! Mabubuntis ka ba ha? Kahit ilang ulit pa tayong sex! Walang mangyayari! Kasi-…” I cutted him off with a slap… Halos mamanhid ang kamay ko sa sampal na binigay ko sa kaniya….

“Ahh! Gano’n! Tangina mo ka! Putangina mong lalaki ka! Halimaw ka! Wag ka mag-alala, mukhang tama ka, mag hiwalay na tayo, Putangina mo! Kailangan mo bang sabihin ’yon ah? Napaka bastos mo!” I fired para bang nawalan na ako ng lakas… I cried… I cried really hard… Puta! Tangina lang! Kinantot kasi hindi mabubuntis? Tangina mo!

“Umalis ka na….” I said to him para bang nawalan na ng emosyon ang boses ko…. He just stood there… Kahit na gano’n I’m hoping na hindi niya ako iiwan…

“Umalis ka na!” sigaw ko sa kaniya… Akala ko hindi siya tatalikod but I’m wrong… Tinalikuran niya ako… Nakatingin lang ako sa likod niya hanggang sa mawala siya…

Puta! Putang ina! Gago siya! Hindi niya na lang sinabi na may relasyon sila ni Aika… Putangina! Para saan? Para saan ang dalawang taon! Para saan?

Akala ko okay na… Akala ko we’re growing together, we’re improving together… Pero sad life… Jinowa para tikman! Puta! Edi sana pala naghanap na lang siya ng pokpok! Tangina…

Bigla naman pumatak ang ulan sa langit.. Lahat ba ng break uo required ng ulan? Pero puta! Lalo akonf nalungkot… Para bang sumasabay ang ulan sa pagdadalamhati ko… I just can’t believe na yung dalawang taon namin ay para lang sa wala…

Na yung dalawang taong pinagsamahan namin ay Itatapon niya na lang ng basta basta.. Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras, ilang minuto at ilang segundo akong umiyak.. Pero isa lang ang alam ko.. Wasak na wasak na ang puso ko….

TB-21

Who would have thought na sa loob ng ang dalawang taong relasyon namin ay mapupunta lang sa wala… It’s just so painful… Paano ko ipaglalaban ang relasyon namin kung ano lang pala ang makikipaglaban? Paano kung ako na lang pala ang naniniwala sa relasyon na mero’n kami?

Kailangan bang magtapos sa gano’n ang lahat? Nasaan na napunta ang dalawang taon naming magkasama? Tangina!

“Ayaw ko na sayo! Mabubuntis ka ba ha? Kahit ilang ulit pa tayong sex! Walang mangyayari!”

“Let’s break up! Puta! Saan ba doon ang hindi mo maunawaan? LET’S. BREAK. UP!”

“Promblema ko? Ikaw! Nakakahiya ka! Satingin mo ba mahal kita? Nakakasawa ka! Masiyado kang immature! Sawang sawa na ako sayo! Sa totoo nga niyan gusto ko lang naman makipag try na makipag-sex sayo eh… Pero tangina nakakasawa ka!”

Muli na naman nagbalik sa akin ang mga salitang binitawan niya….

I couldn’t stand straight… Masiyado akong nanghihina… Akala po naman puno ng respeto at paggalang ang relasyon naming dalawa… I should have known him in the first place pero bakit? Bakit ganito yung ginawa niya sa’kin?

I’m not stupid to stay in a relationship na tinuturing lang akong basura… May be we’re not for each other talaga…. Baka nadala lang kami ng emosyon ng pagiging bata namin…

Hindi ko alam kung paano at kailan basta ang alam ko na lang ay nagsisigaw si Nany Nely pagkakita sa akin…

“Anong nangyari sayo, Iha?” nag-aalalang saad niya… Hindi ko magawang sumagot o magsalita man lang pabalik sa kaniya… Masyadong maraming nangyari para sa araw na ’to.. .

Pero akmang pupuntahan niya ang Daddy ay pinigilan ko na siya….

“H-huwag niyo na pong tawagin ang Daddy… Okay lang po ako…” Saad ko… Nang ibigay niya sa akin ang tuyong tiwalya ay dumiretso na ako sa kwarto ko….

I shouls have known him better… I should… Para bang mababaliw ako any time ng dahil sa sakit ng puso na nararamdaman ko… For Pete’s Sake this is my first break up… This is my first relationship…. And it sucks! It badly hurts inside…

I know my love for him is not just a puppy love… I really love that man who broke my heart…

Pagkapasok no ng banyo ay binuksan ko ang shower… Kasabay ng pagtulo ng tubig sa aking suot na damit ay ang pagkawasak ng puso ko…

Ang mga luhang pupatak sa mga mata ko ay walang katumbas ang sakit….

“Putang ina mo!” sigaw ko sa loob ng banyo… Humagulgol lang ako hanggang sa mapagod na ang mga mata kong maglabas ng luha…

Ako lang ba? Ako lang ba yung nagmahal saming dalawa? Ako lang ba? Ako lang ba ang tunay na umibig sa kaniya….

Oo, transgender ako…. Pero deserve ko ba ’to? Deserve ko bang itapon na para bang basura? Nagmahal lang naman ako! Nagmahal lang naman ako ng maling tao! Putangina!

I couldn’t believe how vulnerable and fragile I am at the moment… I just can’t believe it! Para bang bumabalik ang sakit ng kahapon… Para bang pinapatay ulit ako… Lame? Pero that’s true! I love that man for Pete’s sake! That it hurst so much! I love him but I hate him no I loath him! The word hate won’t be enough to suffice the feelings I have for him right now….

Please… Just let me be like this… Even for a while… It might take long but I know I can get over it… Soon… I will make sure that I can make it through…

My Dad needs me at the moment… My Dad needs me… That thing for sure will make me forget what happen… I should have make a good farewell with him… May be he’s right that na nagiging clingy at childish na ako…. Fuck! Putangina!

Our semestral break started… I have time to heal… I have time to clear my mind… I will get through it… Ganito pala yung sakit… There are times that I can’t sleep at night, I haven’t eating well since then… Anxiety starts to attack me… But I won’t let it to be on a next level….

My father needs me…. My father needs me on his side… Gusto ko man mag pakalayolayo ngayon… I can’t… I can’t yet… Maraming issue ang kompanya ni Dad ngayon… Melissa told it to me.. . I forced her… Ayaw ni Dad na mag-aalala ako sa kaniya so he kept it secre from me… But I’m stubborn, I wanted to know what he has been going through…

“Dad… Baka naman po may matulong ako? “ I asked him… Hindi ko hinahayaan na ipakita kay Dad na nanghihina ako… That I am hurt inside…. That I am weak inside dahil kailagan niya kami ngayon… Kailangan niya ang pamilya niya ngayon…

I am trying to set a side what I’m going through pero there are times na matutulala ako ng hindi ko namamalayan… And it sucks! I don’t like it… There are nights na umiiyak ako hanggang sa makatulog ako… There are times na gimigising ako at bigla na lang akong iiyak… My mind is full of worries….

Bago pa magsimula ang semestral break ay sinubukan ko ng ma-focus ang attention ko sa pag-aaral… But seeing Clint and Aika together, slaps me on the face really hard… But ginawa ko ang lahat para maiwasan sila kahit na nasa iisang university lang kami…

Pero ang hirap pa din, ang hirap pala talaga… Gusto kong umalis sa school kung nasaan sila but I don’t want my dad to know that I’m going through something… I wanted to give him peace kahit doon man lang ay mabawasan ang stress na nanararamdaman niya….

It’s evening… We’re all in the dining table… Melissa and Calix, are on my front at nasa gitna naman si Dad…. The usual…

It takes a lot of courage para magpanggap na walang nangyayaring masama sa’kin… But I guess I’m a great actress… I can still smile though I’m hurting inside… I can still laught though I am tearing inside… My Dad needs me… My Dad needs my smile…

“Where do you want to take have your vacation, Princess?” My dad asked. The two eye bags on his eyes proves how worn out he is… But he still able to give me a smile… Seeing him like this hurt me also…

Before I could even answer ay tumunog ang cellphone ni Dad… “What?” napatayo siya sa kinauupuan niya… I could see how horrified he is… But before we could even react… Ay umalingawngaw ang putok ng mga baril…

Fuck! What’s going on?

Napabalikwas naman kaming lahat dahil sa sunod-sunod na putok ng baril mula sa labas… Dad tighten the security of the mansion last month… Is this the reason?

“Yuko!” sigaw ni Dad… kasabay no’n ang pagkabasag ng mga salamin… Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko…. Calix is crying…. I look around…. Basag na salamin ang nagkalat… Kinuha ni Nanay Nely si Calix but I could see her suffering and holding her chest… Tangina! Anong nangyayari?

“Pumunta kayo sa kwarto ko!” sigaw ni Dad. Halos lumabas na ang ugat sa leeg niya ng dahil sa sigaw niya he wanted us to hear him… My body is trembling…. Puta! Anong nangyayari!

“Putanginang Silverio iyan! Siya ang may pakana nito!” sigaw ni Dad… “Takbo pumunta kayo sa kwarto ko at wag kayong lalabas…. Silverio? Sino ba sila!

May mga narinig pa akong mga pagsabog… Mula sa labas ng bahay… Pero parang hindi maproseso ng utak ko ang nangyayari… Kasama namin si Nanay Nely pumunta sa kwarto ni Dad….

But Dad panicked… We all panicked. May kinuha siya sa aparador niya…. Baril… Someone should have called the police! Putangina! My phone… It’s on my room!

Melissa is trembling also… We’re hearing screams outside… Yung mga katulong! Yung mga guards ng mansion? Anong nangyari sa kanila…

“Wag kayong lalabas…” saad ni Dad…. …. But before he could even go out on the room ay may tumama ng bala sa paa niya…

“Dad! Dad!” napasigaw naman ako at si Melissa… I hurriedly went to him on where he’s laying… Hawak-hawak ni nanay Nely si Calix… What’s happening? Ba’t nangyayari to sa’min….

“Princess… Magtago lang kayo! P-pumasok kayo sa loob!” But before we could even gi out ay hinarang na kami ni Melissa ng dalawang lalaking may baril…

My body trembled as I saw them pointing the gun on us! I can’t move… Parang kusang huminto ang paligid….

“Tanginang security ’yan? Mabilis lang itumba!” saad ng isa sa kanila at tumawa naman sila…

“Mga putangina niyo!” galit na sigaw ni Dad… “M-mag kano ang binayad ni Simoun sa inyo? I could pay you ten times…” nahihirapang saad ni Dad… I don’t know what to do… Halos manginig ako ng itutok niya kay Dad ang baril…. But before I could even react ay pinutok niya na ang baril but Melissa Catched it for Dad… Tumama ang bala kay Melissa at kaagad naman siyang natumba sa lapag… Kaagad na sumigaw si Dad at kinuha ang baril niya sa lapag…

Masiyadong mabilis ang mga sumunod na pangyayari, narinig ko na lang ang sunod-sunod na putok ng baril…. I felt a pang of pain in my stomach… There’s a blood… There’s a blood on me and every where…. Is this the end? Before everything went black I’ve heard the police…. I guess this might be the end of our family… How chaotic and painful it is… Sinong walang puso ang gumawa nito sa pamilya namin? Sino?

Ganito na ba magtatapos ang buhay ko? Ganito na ba? My Dad tried his best to protect us… But I guess things are not in favor on us….

Bakit may mga walang pusong kayang pumatay ng kapwa nila? Bakit may mga taong kayang humawak ng baril para pumatay ng iba…. Bakit?

“Clint…” my mouth muttered and a tear escaped from my eyes…. If I’m not mistaken… Clint is rushing towards me… But he is blurr… I hope I am not just hallucinating…

Everything went black…

TB-22

7 Years Later, United States.

I couldn’t believe how things might change in just one night… 7 years ago, we’re just having our dinner but life’s giving us a hard time… I thought mamamatay na ako sa mga oras na ’yon… But thank God! I’m alive, I need to be alive!

Halos nakalimutan ko na nga ang nangyari sa’min ni Clint ng dahil sa trauma na naidulot sa akin ng kaguluhan na ’yon… I couldn’t believe that I will be able to be in that situation pero tama nga ang sabi nila walang imposible hangga’t nabubuhay ka…

Pero bakit parang grabe naman? Bakit arang sunod-sunod na problema naman ang kailangang ibigay sa akin? O sa pamilya ko? Bakit?

Dahil sa nangyari namatay si Melissa ang ina ni Calix… Sa murang edad pa lang wala na siyang ina… Paano pa kaya siya? Tatlong taong gulang pa lang siya ay namatay na ang mama niya… My father became disabled… Dahil sa balang tumama sa paa niya na nagsanhi ng malaking problema at komplikasyon ay kinailangang putulin ’yon… Nabaril din siya sa kaliwang bahagi ng tiyan niya…

Hindi lang ’yon namatay din ang aking Nanay Nely… Halos gumuho ang mundo ko… Halos hindi ko alam kung paano babangon pero dahil kay Dad at Calix Kailangan kong magpakatatag…

Noong gabing nangyari ang krimen pagkatapos kong maipikit ang aking mga mata ay siya namang pag dating ng nga pulis… Marami ang namatay, mga katulong at mga guwardiya ng mansiyon…

I couldn’t how inhumane they are for doing such! They’re demons! They should be dead!

Nasangkot ang buong kompanya ni Dad sa kaguluhan na nangyari samin… I couldn’t believe how poor our juctice is! The people behind it all is unknown! It’s unidentified! At walang solid na ebidensiya ang makakapagsabi sa kung sino mang poncio pilato ang sumubok na ipapatay kaming lahat… But Dad knows that person… He knows him… That Simoun Silverio is behind all this…

Pero kailangang unahin ang pagbagsak ng kompanya… Dahil sa nangyari ay unti-unting nagsialisan ang mga investors no Dad…. How evil them can be! Mga wala silang puso! My heart is in range that time for years my dad did his best para lang mapalago ang kompanya but when they need him the most… They’re nowhere to be found… They thought na baka madamay lang sila sa gulo ng pamilya namin…

Ng makalabas kami ng Hospital ay halos araw-araw kaming ginugulo ng Media… They’re eager to know what happened on us…. They’re eager kahit na natrauma ka pa… Is that how media really works? They didn’t even care on the victims…. The people are judging our family without knowing the truth… They are bullshits!

Because of Dad’s being disabled my tita Delia, help us in managing the company… Kahit na may alitan sila ni Dad he couldn’t just stand and wait na unti-unting bumabagsak ang kompanyang itinayo ni mama at dad…

We couldn’t even go outside of our house… We shouldn’t be seen to the public… My half-brother Calix and I needed to have psychological treatments for what happened… My brother is traumatized and I couldn’t bear seeing him suffer in such age… I just can’t…

Matapos ang libing ni Melissa. My Dad decided to migrate abroad together with me and Calix.. Para na din mas mapabilis ang pag galing naming lahat…. Yung bala na tumama sa akin, thanfully ay hindi nag damage sa kahit anong organ ko. I thought I’ll that time time…

Halos ipagpilititan ng mga Board of Directors ang pag-alis kay Dad sa katungkulan… But we won’t let that! Are they shits? It’s Brent Empire for Pete’s sake! While I’m studying abroad, I need to work at night for the company with Tita Delia’s guidance I abled to do it….

Since we have another branch here in US my Dad still able to supervise the whole company here… Life gave me a hard time during my first years but it didn’t put me down… It made more stronger… Bell and my friends is with me to cheer me up…

I couldn’t believe na kahit may baby sitter si Calix at may sariling nurse si papa ay kung minsan ay mas gusto kong alagaan sila… It’s not burden for me anyways they are giving me strength and power to overcome things….

Matapos ang apat na taon na pag-aaral sa college. Three years ago, I abled to graduate in College with a degree in Bachelor of Science in Accountancy and MBA in Business Administration… I abled to pass the Certified Public Accountant Licensure examination in US… My heart is overflowing for my hardwork’s achievement… I abled to work while I’m studying… I am abled to closed deals while I’m studying and I able to manage the company while I’m studying…

With the help of Dad and Tita Delia, we able to stabilize the whole company… But it’s not on top anymore… It’s just so sad knowing that thing… But my Dad just wanted me to focus on managing our company nothing more and nothing less…

After I graduated in College I built the Kaye and Co. Firm, an accounting firm that’s based in US. It is an affliate of Brent Empire… Though na lugi ang kompanya sa unang taon ng trahedya ay hindi naman nabawasan ang pera namin ni Dad….

My heritance from my mother help me a lot in building my own firm… We are now managing the Brent Empire finances and other companies that are based in the Philippines and here. The chains of Hotel, Restaurants, Malls of Brent Empire are now improving simula ng maging Presidente ako ng Brent Empire that’s based in US… Tita Delia is the acting CEO in the Philippines since hindi pa kami nakakauwi ni Dad pitong taon na…

I had my sex reassignment surgery two years ago in Thailand… Nagpadagdag din ako ng boobs dahil Err. hindi gano’n kalakihan ang sa’kin… But it was just perfectly fit on my petite body… Wala namang kailangang ibang baguhin pa since I am feminine looking na and because of taking HRT for years…. I undergone seminars and professional advice before I undergone the surgery… But I’m surreal that this is what I wanted…

I became the face of Brent Empire… Yeah… I entered the advertising industry but for the Brent Empire only… I couldn’t believe that in such span of time with courage and passion I’ll be able na makuha ang pangarap ko…

But I know others might thought that it could be because of my father’s power… I know dapat pa akong magpakitang gilas sa mga matatanda sa komapanya… I know they are veterans in this field but I’ll be doing my best to raise up the Brent Empire together with my Company again…

I wanted my father to be proud of me…

About my lovelife, I already moved on…. I dated guys way back in college but I think that Love is not for me anymore… Pero Christopher Velasquez the Vice President of Finance here in US ay may gusto sa’kin, but I told him already that I don’t feel the same way… Errr… But he’s actually totally different from the guy I broke up with 7 years ago… Christopher is handsome, caring, loving and trustworthy. With the man I broke up seven years ago, I don’t plan on getting back to him… Never! In his dreams!

I just wish na hindi maglandas ang mga daan namin ni Clint because every time I’m hearing his name parang bumabalik kung paano niya ako sinaktan… But I already deleted all the memories I have for him…

Pero I think my heart won’t be ready to fall in love again yet… Atsaka bata pa naman din ako… I’m still 25, A Billionaire at the age of 20’s.

Untill now, hindi pa din nakukulong ang taong sumubok na magpapatay sa buong pamilya namin… But I think my Dad is aging na din, he wanted to have a peaceful life na with me and my brother… Ayaw niya na ng gulo at ayaw… Same with me… But justice will be served soon… I’m silently doing all the actions I need para matuklas at makahanap ng solid na ebidensiya para makulong ang sino mang gumawa no’n samin..

Sana lang ay maibalik ko ulit sa unahan ang kompanya ng pamilya ko once I successfully opened the Philippines biggest hotel… It’s a five star world class hotel na under construction untill now… I haven’t seen it yet but we get the bestest Engineers, Architects and Designers for the Hotel… It costs a fortune of the Brent Empire… So I’m doing my best for my hotel not to be in waste…

States has been a busy country since then, habang tinatanaw ko ang maliliit na mga kotse mula sa baba ng building na kinatatayuan ko ay hindi maikakaila ang ganda at laki ng Buong siyudad…. The whole city is oozing with luxury and power. Matatayog na mga building ng iba’t ibang mga negosyante ang nakatayo dito…

Tanaw mula dito ang bagong advertisement ng kumpanya namin na ako mismo ang cover… It’s just so overwhelming… There are different modeling agencies that wanted to get me here in states but as I said I’m only a model for the Brent International Company… The Brent Empire will always be my first priority…

Naputol lang ang pag-iisip ko ng tumunog ang intercom ng opisina. It’s my secretary. “Ms. Brent… Ms. Santos is here…. Are you busy?” she asked.

“Let her in…” I said…. Kasabay no’n ang tumitiling si Bell na pumasok sa office ko!

“Wah! Besh, Guess what? We’re Engaged!” sigaw niya at pinakita pa ang singsing niya na may diyamente pa, for sure Bryan spent a fortume for that diamond ring…

“Wow! Congrats, Bell!” I said to her at pumunta sa kinatatayuan niya…

“Thanks, Couz! Ikaw din kasi, mag hanap ka na ng bago… Or hinihintay mo pa din ang gagong ’yon?” She asked… Sinimangutan ko naman siya…

“Ofcourse No! Look at me… I’m still young Bell at priority ko pa ang pagbabalik sa taas ng BE…” I said at kumalas na sa yakap sa’kin…

“Besh pansin ko ang laki talaga niyan… Naiingit talaga ako…” saad niya sabay turo sa dede ko! Gosh! This girl! Nakakahiya…

“Shhh.. Wag kang maingay…” saad ko at tumawa naman kaming dalawa… Bell is with me simula ng dumating ako dito… She also knows how Clint and I ended our relationship… Only Alex and Bell knows what Clint did to me… Kung paano niya ako tinratong basura noong naghiwalay kami….

But I made sure na hindi sila madadamay sa kung anong mero’n o nangyari sa’min ni Clint.. . Bell’s managing their Santos and Co. Fashion, their company had made great impact here abroad and even the Philippines… They are setting trends for the new generation…

Karl, Carl, Alex and Nathan are all in the Philippines… While Bell and Bryan are here…. Sana all! Engaged na!

“Kailan niyo balak magpakasal?” I asked her…

“Hmmm.. . Months from now, I guess… He wanted our wedding to happen in the Philippines and I agreed…” She said….

“Wow! Forever na talaga kayo!” I said then she gave me a proud smile…

“Mag hanap ka na kasi insan, you’re so workaholic! You don’t have day-off at hindi ka man lang nagbabakasyon.. . Besh, mag pahinga ka din minsan… Look at you… You’re filthy rich, beautiful, sexy and Intelligent… Maraming maghahabol sayo diyan… Why don’t try Christopher?” She asked. Yeah.. She knows that Christopher likes me…

“Bell… Ang kulit mo! Sabing bata pa nga ako eh!” Saad ko but she just laughed it off… Errr. Lagi niya na lang sinasabi na mag hanap na daw ako ng mapapangasawa….

“Anyways, kamusta na ang Dad mo?” She asked…

“Bababa na si Dad sa pagiging CEO ng company… He believes on me… At gusto ko na din na makapagpahinga siya lalo ng anim na taon na din siyang hindi nakakalakad….” I said then giving her a sad smile…

The moment na nabalitaan nila ni Tita Delia ang nangyari sa’min ay kaagad siyang umuwi ng Pilipinas kasama si Bryan… Doon ko din sinabi sa kanila ni Alex ang paghihiwalay namin ni Clint… At first hindi sila makapaniwala… But that’s the fact and it won’t change.. ..

“I’ve heard tito wanted your family to go back in the Philippines na… Mom also wanted that…” Bell said I look on her with worries… I’m actually afraid that what happened seven years ago might happen again… But NO! I shouldn’t be afraid with that…

“Yeah… Nakakahiya na din kasi kay Tita dahil alam kong may mga problema din ang kompanya sa Pilipinas… I’ll just make sure first na everything is stable here… Then after that, I’ll think about what Dad wanted…” I said to her…

“That’s good! Para naman makabalik ka na sa Pilipinas… Have you heard news about him?” She asked… Ofcouse. He’s referring to Clint…

“I don’t care about his whereabouts anymore Bell… May be may anak at kasal na ’yon yun ngayon kay Aika… And I don’t really have plans on getting back on him… He’s a trash you know that…” I asked then gave her a smile.. .

“What if Clint still love you?” She suddenly asked.. . My body stiffened… No! That’s impossible!

“That’s impossible Bell… And kung mero’n pa… Mamuti na ang mga uwak pero hindi na ako magpapaloko pa sa kaniya… He teared me…” I said to her then gave her a reassuring smile.. .

“As you say, pero what if he has his reasons for doing so? Alam mo besh untill now I couldn’t believe na nagawa niya ’yon sayo… You both looks so inlove that time… You can’t be separated…” She said… I know… Miski ako noong una ayoko pang paniwalaan but hearing it again and reminding me about it again… Makes me hate him more…

“Bell… Hindi naman lahat ay magtatapos ng tulad niyo ni Bryan… And it’s been seven years… Baka nga kasal na ’yon eh…” I said…

“Okay.. Let’s change the topic na…” She said and change the atmosphere…

“Have you heard about Alex and Karl?” She asked with a visible excitementnin her eyes…

Umiling naman ako… Pero I guess I have a clue now…

“Nagkakamabutihan sila!” she blurted at sinabayan pa ng tawa… I couldn’t help my self but to laugh also with her…

“Really?” I asked.. .

“Really! They have seen together much often in the Philippines… Just the two of them…” Bell and I catch up for an hour since she just came back from a Business trip with Bryan… Hanggang sa kinailangan niya ng umalis ulit…

Napatingin naman ako sa telepono ko ng mag ring ito… It’s Christopher…

“Hey.. Kaye… Can you join for me dinner later…” He asked… Well noong nakaraan niya pa ako niyayang lumabas and I guess I should pay him back for doing a great job in my company…

“Okay… Let’s have dinner together…” i answered..

“Great! I’ll send you the place… Thank you Kaye.. I love you…” He said pero sinabayan niya naman ’yon ng tawa…

I awkwardly laugh at ibinaba na ang tawag… Siguro dapat bigyan ko ng chance si Chris…. Should I start to open my heart for him?

I wore my office outfit, a formal blouse and skirt with my black blazer. I didn’t chage it anymore since uuwi na din ako mamaya… I went to the place kung saan nagpareserve si Chris… I’ve heard that it takes weeks bago ka magpareserve sa restaurant na ’to… I guess he really prepared for it…

“Chris…” I said as I approached him.. Kaagad naman siyang tumayo and gave me a kiss on the cheek…

“How are you?” He asked as he offer me a chair…

“I’m fine… The business is doing great…” I answered…

“Kaye…” He said at tinawag ang waiter. I’m surprised ng lumapit ang waiter then gave me vocay of red roses…

“Thanks… Chris…” I answered then gave him a smile…

We talked about stuffs and etc. Mostly are about the company and business… I couldn’t believe how intelligent this man is…. Should I really give him a chance…

“Kaye… Why don’t we try to level up our relationship?” He asked… Should we? Should we give it a try? Am I ready na nga ba? Christopher has been good to me since I entered the company… And his family is one of the major shareholder ng kompanya…

“Let’s give it a try…” Before I could even realize what comes out to my mind… Ayy tumayo na siya at bigla akong niyakap… Gosh! Did I do the right thing?

“Thanks Kaye! I promise… I’ll do everything for you… I love you…” He said but I just smiled on him….

I hope that I did the right thing…. Afterall, Christopher is a great and responsible man…

Hinatid niya ako sa bahay namin… We live in one of the village her in US where luxurious houses and Mansion were Built…

“I’ll get going na… Want to enter my house?” I asked but he disagreed dahil gabi na at kailangan ko pa daw magpahinga…

As I enter our Big door… Calix run towards me… “Ate… I missed you…” He said at pinantayan ko naman siya…. Pinugpog naman niya ako ng halik at gano’n din ang ginawa ko sa kaniya…

“I missed you too… Baby… Where’s Dad?” I asked…

“He’s on his office po…” Calix said at bumalik na sa paglalaro.. My brother is a chubby little kiddo… But sometimes I felt sad for him… For losing his mother in young age…

I went to where my Dad is… I hugged him and kissed him as I went near to him.. He’s sitting on his automatic wheel chair for the 7 years and he will be sitting on tht for the rest of his life….

“Have you drink your meds Dad?” I asked… His personal nurse is probably resting by now…. It’s already seven in the evening afterall..

“Yeah… Kaye… I’ve done my virtual conference awhile ago… They want us back in the Philippines… If not they will be giving us no choice but to vote for another CEO and President of the company….” He asked…. I think I need to go back in the Philippines also… For the Hotel we’re working with right now…

“Kailan daw natin kailangang bumalik?” I asked…

“As soon as possible… Kaye… You already prove your worth to them… I know they will respect you… We are the in the right hand Kaye…” He said…

“Okay… Dad… Just give a month to settle things in here…” I answered…

I think I already need to come back… Yeah… I really need to… For the business… For the hotel… Nothing more!

TB-23

Biglang nanibago ang pakiramdam ko pagkababa ng private Plane ng Daddy…  I couldn’t believe na matapos ang pitong taong pag-alis ko ay makakabalik na muli ako… And in all fairness may nakakakilala pa din sa pamilya ko… May mga media ang nakaabang sa amin… I guess the controversial Brents are still controversial… What would you expect?  Hangga’t may mailalabas sila sa publiko ay gagawin nila ang lahat…

I wore my shades before I went out of the Plane… I made sure that I look elegant with my simple but classy dress… I wore a red wrap dress. It was figure hugging and short. The hem ended at the middle of my thighs. It emphatized my long legs and white skin that shines perfectly.  I wore a black belt that further enhance her slim waist. I look on my red gucci watch and it’s already three in afternoon pero ramdam ko pa din ang init ng panahon…

I hold Calix on my hand and we walk together… I smiled on the people who are taking a photo of us…  I gave the a million dollar smile… For sure tomorrow we’ll be headline… With a caption “The Brent’s are back”. Well I guess people doesn’t forget our names still and what happened 7 years ago…

“Ate is this Philippines na po?” My little brother asked…

“Yes, Baby. We’re going home now…” I said at sumakay na kami sa nakaabang na family van namin… Halos walang pagbabago ito.. . It’s still the same…  And I missed it! Napaaga ng dalawang linggo ang uwi namin dahil nagkaroon daw ng problema ang project na ila-launch namin months from now…

Nang makasakay na si Dad ay umandar na din kami…  It still feels the same… Nadaan ko ang mga pamilyar na gusali habang bumibiyahe…  How sad…  There are things na kailan man ay ayaw ko ng alalahanin at balikan pang muli…

Philippines has changed a lot but I guess people are still the same lalo na ang media…  The eagerness to see us coming back are unexpected… Well,  I missed the Philippines…. I miss mom…  I miss Nanay Nely…

Gosh!  Reminiscing things sometimes makes me sad…. Gano’n naman ’yon di ba?  Once may mga pangyayari na masakit para sa atin dumaan man ang panahon ay mananatili pa din ang sakit… I still remember how fragile and vulnerable I an before… But I guessed I’ve matured enough…

“Ayaw ko na sayo! Mabubuntis ka ba ha?  Kahit ilang ulit pa tayong sex!  Walang mangyayari!”

“Let’s break up!  Puta!  Saan ba doon ang hindi mo maunawaan? LET’S. BREAK. UP!”

“Promblema ko? Ikaw! Nakakahiya ka! Satingin mo ba mahal kita? Nakakasawa ka!  Masiyado kang immature! Sawang sawa na ako sayo!  Sa totoo nga niyan gusto ko lang naman makipag try na makipag-sex sayo eh…  Pero tangina nakakasawa ka!”

Memories flashed in to me… Para bang kumirot muli ang puso ko…  Para bang ang sakit-sakit pa din… I don’t know kung bakit nanatili pa din sa’kin ang mga salitang gusto ko ng malimutan…  I couldn’t bear it, hearing it over and over again… But I know the feelings I have for him are gone now…  And if ever na magkita kami…  I would chose not to interact with him.. That man is a jerk afterall..

Arg!  Ba’t ba naalala ko na naman siya?  Tangina niya! 

Chris and I are doing great… I could say that he really loves me… Noong sinagot siya honestly ay hindi pa ako sigurado but now I’m sure of it.. . I’m starting to fall for him… Pero there’s something strange on me… I felt guilt for no reason… But I chose not to let it get over me…

“Ate…  Is our house here bigger than in our house in NY?” Calix asked… Ang cute talaga ng baby namin…

“Yes…  Baby… I’ll tour you around, okay? For sure you will love it…” I said… I forced dad to renevote some part of our house.. . And change everything on it…  From interior and exterior… I don’t want any bad memories linger on me….

Isang ngiti naman ang binigay niya sa’kin at tumingin na ulit sa daan…. After half of an hour ay narating na namin ang Mansion…  Different memories flash through my mind from bad and good….

There’s a tear that escaped from my eyes but I immediately wiped it… No,  I won’t let the pass affect me anymore….

“Ate Meng, pakidala na si Calix sa room niya…” I said to his Baby sitter…  He’s a Filipina that we hired in NY… And sinama namin siya dito… But we hired another nurse for Dad here in PH…

I went up stairs…  Everything had changed… I made sure of it…  Everything… From furnitures and designs… I changed it.. .

I was in awe when I see my room…  It changed alot… Nakakapanibago but the homey feeling is still there…  I smiled…  It’s oozing with luxury and elegance… My queen size beige bed looks perfectly beautiful… It contrast the elegant walls in my house…

I took a shower and changed for a comfortable clothes… And went to my bed… For sure gabi pa sa NY and my body can’t adjust easily….

Before I sleep, I’ve checked my phone and there are messages from my friends.. For sure they’ve heard that I’m home already…

Besh!  Welcome back in the Philippines!❤

-Alex

Dapat sumabay na kayo sa’kin ni tito,  last week. 😁😂

-Bell

Welcome home, Couz! 🙂

-Bryan

I’ve seen your photos!  Mas sumexy ka Kaye. ❤😂

-Karl

Dinner tayo next time. I didn’t able to go to the airport… Quite busy. 😁❤

-Nathaniel

I’ve heard you’re back?  Welcome home.

-Carl

I smiled from my friends texts… I couldn’t believe that our friendship is still the same….

Welcome back… Ganda… I missed you.

-Unknown Number

My eyes went wide…  Is it him? Why?  Why did he text me like that?  At paano niya na nakuha ang number ko?  Arg!  But may be It’s not him…  Afterall he is the one who broke up with me… May be it’s not him…

I blocked the number right away…. Whoever it is…  For sure one of my stalker… Err.. Kaasar!

Nagising ako ng umaga kinabukasan…  I slept for almost 14 hours… I felt energized again and ready to work… I look on the clock on the wall and it’s already 7 in the morning… I will go to the office today with my Dad but tomorrow I’ll be flying to Boracay in Aklan for the Hotel that we’re opening soon…

I hurriedly took a shower and scanned the clothes I have in my closet. I decided to wear my office blue sleeveless dress and my blazer.  After putting a minimal make up that gives happy and cool vibe I went downstairs…

I kissed my dad on the cheeks and Caliz kissed me on my cheeks also… I smiled…  They are my great supporters and strength…

“Calix…  Ate and Dad would be going in office ahh… You will stay here with Yaya,  okay?” I asked…

Napansin ko naman ang paglungkot ng mata niya… I felt guilty..  Every time I go to work I sometimes felt guilty since both me and dad are busy from work…  He’s always with his Yaya…

“What do you want? I’ll buy you anything you want.” I asked.. .

“Hmm.. I want doughnuts ate…” He said and I smiled when his eyes brighten…

“Okay… I’ll buy you later…” I said at pinagpatuloy na ang pagkain… Me and Dad are busy always… But I always make sure that Calix will be spoiled from us…

Matapos kumain ay sabay kaming nagtungo ni Dad sa kompanya…  It takes half of an hour to get there… When I went out of the Car…

People on the company are waiting for us… Tita Delia is also here…. Errr..  They should just continue their work…

They greeted me and Dad with a smile… I smile back but I instructed tita to let them continue their work…

“Iha…  You looks so beautiful… Kamukhang kamukha mo si Carla…” saad ni tita referring to my mom…

“Thanks… Tita….  You’re a great help po on us… I’m really greatful to have you…” I said then kissed her on her cheeks…

“Where’s Bell, Tita?  Is she on the SCF?” I asked.

“Yeah…  She’s there… I’ll go there later once I turned over the company from you…” she asked then give me a smile…  Tita Delia is like my second mom since then…  That’s why I love her…

Matapos no’n ay nag-tungo kami ni Dad kasama si Tita Delia sa conference room kung saan ginaganap ang Board Meeting.

Everyone stand up as we enter the room… Halos lahat ay kaedaran ng Daddy ngunit may iilan din na sa tingin ko ay kaedaran ko….

“Good morning…” simula ni Dad…  Halata pa din ang power at influence ni Dad kahit hindi na siya makalakad… That’s what he is always telling me… Don’t mind the oldees and play your job as the superior….

Bumati din sila pabalik kay Dad at bumati din sila sa’kin…. Kung kanina ay kinakabahan akong harapin sila but I’m starting to feel calm now…

“My daughter, Kaye,  would be the new CEO and President of Brent International Company… This Empire will be lead by her…  I’m hoping that you will support her, the way you support me…” Dad continuously tell them what I have done for the company in states….

“…I’m hoping that you will respect me as you respect my Dad… I’ll make sure to everyone that I will do my best…” I said at kasabay no’n ang palakpakan nila. Matapos ang pagpapakilala sa’kin ay nakipagkamay sa’kin ang nga miyembro ng mga board members but there’s this guy na malagkit kung makatingin sa’kin but I just ignored him…

Matapos no’n ay pumunta na kami sa main agenda ng Board Meeting…  I presented to them my current plans and future plans…  I know it wouldn’t be easy handling Brent Empire and KCF,   but I’m fighter anyway…

Unang araw ko pa lang bilang Presidente ng kompanya ay halos hindi na magkamayaw ang mga kailangan kong gawin… Kaliwa’t kanang meetings ang ginawa ko… I need to study and know everything inside and outside of the company…. The current situation are all stable but as I’m saying we’re not on the top… Yet…

My secretary is tita Delia’s Secretary, she’s an middle aged woman but I know she’s good with her job… Mrs. Cathy.

When I see some discrepancies on the finance, I called the finance department right away… Naayos naman kaagad ang mga reports na pinaulit ko…

When I’m working I wanted to make sure that everything is okay.

I stretched my arms and yawned… My day is really tiring… Nahinto lamang ako sa pagbabasa ng reports ng tumunog ang Cellphone ko…

“Couz,  ano na? I’ve heard that you’re working your ass on your office? My gash!  I thought magpapahinga ka…  Kalmahan mo lang,  kahit hindi ka pumasok ngayon, Bilyonarya ka pa din…” She said at sinabayan ng tawa…. Napatawa na lang din ako sa tinuran niya….

“First day ko bilang Presidente Bell..  I wanted to make syre everything is perfect..” I answered…

“I know!  That’s what you are, Besh…  Anyways, Have you seen him?” she asked…

“No! And I don’t want ever again to see him…” I said…

“You wouldn’t believe what I’ve found out… Clint is a billionaire now…  His biological father is a Billionaire…” She said…  I yawned boringly.

“I don’t care about him… Bell..  It’s good for him…  You know…  Sana lang talaga ay hindi maglandas ang mga daan namin.” I said…

“I know! Anyways,  how’s Chris?” she asked…

Well she already knew that me and Chris are now in a relationship…

“We’re good but we’re both busy with works… If I’m not mistaken he will be here on your wedding…” I said…

“Yeah,  yeah..  I invited him… Anyways nandito na si Bryan… Babush!” saad niya at pinatay na ang tawag…

Matapos no’n ay bumalik na ako sa pagtatrabaho… I haven’t heard anything about Clint for years but I guess Aika and him are doing good.

It’s seven in the evening at kakalabas ko lang mula sa office…  I went to the parking lot of the building… My dad already went home… Kaya ako na lang ang mag-isang uuwi…

Before I could even enter my Car,  nahagip ng mata ko ang isang lalaki na naka-itim na sumbrero at hindi ko masiyadong maaninag ang mukha niya…  But I think he’s looking on my direction… I immediately felt nervous… Holdapper ba ’yon?  I thought I immediately enter my car as I saw him approaching where I am…

I drove my car right away… Hayss! What a first day to end my work here… Tumingin ako sa likuran and napansin kong may sumusunod sa’kin? Who’s that? My goodness! But from the looks of his car mukhang mamahalin ’yon…

Napangiti ako ng biglang mag red ang ilaw at hindi na nakasunod pa ang nagtangkang sumunod sa’kin. Should I hire a bodyguard? Errr.  I don’t want my dad to know and panick about it… Whoever is that!  Gago siya tinakot niya ako…

TB-24

Hey, Gals! If you have sometime kindly follow me on my twitter account for more updates. Char. Enjoy! @Kabythedreamer.

….

I’m now on my way to Boracay para ma-monitor ang mga preparasyon sa Hotel na tinatayo namin na simulan dalawang taon na ang nakakalipas…

I didn’t bother to tell my Dad about that guy who tried to follow me last night… I Don want to stress him… He’s staying now on our house… He officially retired as the CEO and President of BIC o BE…

I have lots of plans for BIC and BE and I’ll start with this one… It’s one of the biggest Project for the company… It only took me 2 hours to travel since I’m using our private plane, I’m with my secretary, Mrs. Cathy….

“Ma’am… The head architect and head Engineer are on the site… Together with the head Interior and exterior designers… Nandoon na din ang company na magsusuplay ng mga furnitures at iba’t kagamitan para sa Hotel…” She said.. I already knew those but I didn’t expect the dealers of the furniture will be there… Tita work it out all, while I’m in the US for sure that company is Excellent…

“May I know what Company will provide the furnitures?” I asked.

“The S&M furniture Company, Ms. Brent…” She said and I just nodded on her…

It took us the whole 2 hours before we abled to land on Boracay… Our company car drove us to the site…. After 15 minutes we go out on the car. Revealing the construction of the Hotel. It was indeed beautiful labas pa lang ng hotel ay maganda na, almost 80% of the whole place is done… It will be the biggest five-star Hotel and Resort in the Philippines…

The design I wanted came out good as I wanted.. It looks classy and Elegant… I surveyed the whole place… The Hotel will really capture the attention of all the people… It’s like a castle outside but the inside will be modern and 20th century inspired… I smiled happily… Everything is happening as I wanted… There are bunkhouses on the bank of the Hotel where the Engineers, architects and workers are staying… There are also employees from Manila that stays here to supervise everything….

“Good morning, Ms. Brent… This way, Ma’am…” saad sakin ng satingin ko ay isa sa mga employee na nagmomonitor ng Hotel…

We went to where the bunkhouse is located… We entered on a building kung saan nandito ang mga opisina ng mga nagtatrabaho sa office…

We went to the conference room and as I enter, I’ve seen the familiar faces na sa virtual conference ko lamang nakita… But here are they now…

“Good morning, Ms. Brent… It’s nice to finally see you here…” Engr. Medina said to me then we shaked our hands…. Lahat sila ay bumati sa’kin at nakipagkamay…

Nasa sampu silang nandito ngayon sa conference hall ng building na ’to… I think the representative of S&M Furnitures are not yet here… We discussed things at halos hindi kayanin ng brain cells ko ang over load informations na galing sa kanila… I have to checked the inside of the Hotel later…

“Will it be possible to be open on December?” I asked…

“Definitely, Ms. Brent… We just need to strengthen the supervisions with everything…” Architect Gonzalez said…

“That’s good to here… I’m really thankful for all your hardwork…” I said to them and smile… They gave me a proud smile.. They should be! We hire the bestest architect and Engineers for this project…

While we’re in the middle of the meeting someone barged in… My Body stiffened as I saw the familiar man that I last met 7 years ago… He is still handsome… Mula sa makakapal niyang kilay, matangos na ilong, morenong balat at mapupulang labi… But he matured a lot… His body became more buff na para bang tumira na sa Gym sa loob ng mga taon…. It was him… It was Clint…

I’ve seen his eyes widen, his eyes shows mixed emotions that I can’t name… Sad? Longing? Desperation? I don’t know! But I tried to focus again….

“Who are you?” I asked and raised my eye brow… What is he doing here? Anong ginagawa ng lalaking ’to dito? Kainis!

“Sorry… Ka- Ms. Brent…” saad niya.. I know him… I can forgive but I can’t forget… This man, hurt me big time! For Pete’s sake! Is he idiot? Who is he para pumunta dito? Tangina!

“I asked who are you? Not for your apology…” I said sarcastically… Halata ang takot at gulat sa mga mata ng kasama ko sa conference room na ’to… I saw sadness in his eyes but I ignored it… No! He’s a stupid and Jerk! Don’t fall from his tricks! Ipahiya mo siya!

“Are you deaf? Why aren’t you answering?” Napataas ang boses ko but I still remain calm and powerful…

Bigla naman siyang sumeryoso at pinilit na mag focus sa kung ano man ang dapat niyang gawin…

“My name is Clint Montenegro Sil…” I cutted him….

“Why are you here? Mr. Montenegro?” I asked but before he could even answer ay ibinulong sa akin ng secretary ko kung sino siya….

“He’s the owner of President of S&M Furnitures….” Mrs. Cathy said..

“What?” Napalakas na saad ko dahil sa gulat? This man? How? Tangina lang! Paano ko hindi nalaman na siya ang magsusupply sa’min? Fudge! Tita might chose his company…

“Yes ma’am…” sagot naman ng secretary ko… Napakamot naman ako sa sintido ko…

“Others may leave… Meeting adjourned…” I said to them at awkward na ngumiti sa kanila… I should still be professional…

Nang makalabas na sila ay hindi ko na pinatagal pa ang katahimikan…

Kahit na mukha siyang malakas at may impluwensiyang tao ngayon I won’t be carried away… I still have the upper hand here… I hope…

“We’re cancelling the furnitures from your company… “ I said with finality. His face is shocked pero kaagad din naman nagbago yun…

“We’re 90% done with your furnitures, Ms. Brent… You will still pay it all base from the contract we made…” He smirk! Fuck! Fuck! Hindi pwede! Bakit siya pa! I don’t have plans on getting any revenge on him but I don’t want to associate myself again with him…. This man! He’s a conniving evil! I couldn’t believe he still able to smirk! Puta! Parang gusto ko na siyang sampalin!

It would be a great loss from the company kung sakali mang i-cancel ko contract… Fuck! Didn’t I able to see this on the contracts that was sent to me? Gosh! Nakakainis…

“Let me think about it.. Mr. Monte-…” Before I could even continue ay pinutol niya na ang sasabihin ko…

“Mrs. Cathy, can you leave us for a moment…” He asked… Gosh! What is he planning! Puta! Lumapit lang talaga ’to masasampal ko ’to! Tangina!

“Ma’am?” My secretary asking for my approval… I just nodded on her… Baka kung ano pang sabihin ng lalaking ’to…

Kaagad naman siyang lumabas…

“What do you want?” I asked with annoyance… I couldn’t even stand him on a same place! My blood is boiling for Pete’s sake!

“Kaye… Please… Let me explain…” nagmamadali siyang tumayo at pumunta sa’kin para bang Punong-puno ng lungkot at pangungulila ang mga mata niya.. No Kaye! That’s just his trick! Fuck!

Nagulat ako ng bigla niya akong yakapin… My body stiffened… My body felt a familiar feeling… But NO! Not now and not ever again!

I pushed him but he’s so strong…

“Kaye… I miss you… Ganda… I really do…” He said while pleading…

“Puta! Nababaliw ka na ba?” I asked his body stiffened as I shout on him! I pushed him right away at umalingawngaw sa buong conference room ang mag-asawang sampal na ginawad ko sa kaniya…

I looked on him coldly… “Don’t you ever dare touch me…” I said then glare on him…

His body is in shock… I know… I’m not that physical… But he push me on that level..

“What do you want to talk about Mr. Montenegro? If it’s not business then don’t you ever show up your face on me…” I said and warned him… Kita ko pa din ang lungkot at pangungulila sa mga mata niya… Halos hindi mo makikita na ang malaking taong gaya niya ay puno ng lungkot at pangungulila ang mga mata.. But I just shoo it away…

“Kaye… Please… Now you’re back… I wanted to-…” when he hold my hand I slapped him again….

“Fuck reasons! Let’s be civil… Mr. Montenegro… We don’t have anything personal to talk to…” I said…. I fixed my blazer and skirt before leaving him alone…

Why? Why he still affects me? Fuck! He hurt you bitch! He hurt you! You don’t need revenge! You just need to get rid of him on your way! You shouldn’t associate yourself with him again… He should pay the consequence!

I focus myself on working… Hindi ko na nakita pa si Clint… Matapos ang nangyari sa’min sa conference room kanina… Fuck! Kung pwede ko lang i-cancel ang contract ay ginawa ko na… But it was made two years ago… Matagal na nilang nasimulang ang lahat… Kainis!

As I enter the hotel, I walk with one of the architect, Engineer and the interior designer … Mabusisi nilang ipinapaliwanag sa’kin ang lahat… Everything is perfect but there are things that needed to be changed…

Hindi man gano’n kadami ay mero’n pa din naman… Punong-puno pa ng alikabok ang buong lugar… Pero makikita mo na ng ganda nito… The whole place are free from furnitures wala pang kahit ano sa loob nito but they painted 50% of the walls and it looks nice and well..

I couldn’t believe that in just few months we could open it to the public… For sure people would get curious and interested with the whole place… There will be pools outside and inside the Hotel… There will be cottages outside the Hotel but it will be a floating penthouse style…

I decided to stay here for days before going back in Manila… I just wish na sana wala na si Clint dito…

Matapos ang ilang oras na pag-iikot at pagsusupervise ay natapos na kami ng alas-singko ng hapon… I decided to have launch with the team on a restaurant na malapit dito… It’s my way to pay back on them…

Habang kumakain kasama ang project heads ay nakita ko si Clint sa labas ng restaurant… Is he waiting for someone? Err. I don’t care…

Matapos namin kumain ay nakaabang pa din siya sa labas…. Is he not working?

Matapos naming lumabas ay nakaabang na si Clint sa labas ng pintuan…

“Kaye… I just want to apologize sa ginawa kong pag-yakap kanina… I know that’s insane of me… I’m sorry… I just couldn’t control myself again…” He said, I could see the sincerity on his eyes… But no! Not me, bitch!

I just raised my eyebrow at akmang lalagpasan na siya pero he stopped me… Mabuti na lang at pinauna ko na ang mga kasama ko…

“Kaye… Please… Can we talk? Kahit saglit lang… Please…” He said while pleading ..

“Are you nuts? Wala na tayong dapat pag-usapan pa, Clint… If you want an appointment schedule it from my secretary… You know how I wish na sana hindi ikaw o ang company niyo ang kinuha ni tita…” I said to him at akmang hahawakan niya ang kamay ko but I didn’t let him..

“Touch me… I’ll make sure that you will be in trouble after that…” Babala ko sa kaniya… But it seems did not work on him… He hold my wrist tight as if asking me not to let go…

“Hindi mo ba ako narinig?” napalakas na ang boses ko… I look around at medyo naagaw na namin ang atensiyon ng iba…

“Fine… I’ll let you go this time ganda… But it’s true, I miss you… just let me explain things on you… My mom and Kiko missed you alot.. I’m sorry ganda… Just give me more time….” He said and turn his back on me…

Tita Roselyn and Kiko? I missed them too! But that man won’t make any further move on me… I promise.. He hurt me badly… He hurt me on my downfall… I can’t even stand him…. Gosh!

TB-25

Follow me on my twitter account, Gals!  @KabyTheDreamer

…..

My last two days stay had been peaceful… Hindi na nga nagpakita pa sa’kin si Clint… Hindi ko alam but the next day na hindi ko na siya nakita there’s something inside of me na hinahanap yung presensiya niya but every time I remember every words he said to me the day we broke apart tears my heart in to pieces… I won’t give in to him!  Kahit na gaano pa siya kagwapo ngayon! Pumuti man ang mga uwak ang sa langit!

I stayed for three days in supervising the whole place… Maayos naman ang lahat at walang problema…  Natapos ko na din ang mga report na ginawa namin para sa susunod na board meeting…  Everything is well and organize hindi nga kami nagkamali ni tita in choosung the bestest in the industry of constructions they are well coordinates… The heads of the project and the field workers are all doing their best…

Who wouldn’t do their best on it?  It will be the biggest five-star Hotel and Resort in the Philippines and Asia…  We will be stepping step by step…. We will follow the process and the success will be waiting on us..  Gosh!  This makes me excited… But the S&M Furnitures Company, I’m not sure on them…  But still Business and business all I have to do is to do my best to avoid and get rid of their boss.. Errrr. 

We flew 6 in the morning going to Manila… At exact 9 am, we landed on the roof top of the Brent International Company… Today is Saturday and I’ll be going home for today… I’ll just sleep for hours at babalik na lang ako sa office mamaya para pirmahan ang mga documents na kailangan ng signature ko…  Pagkababa namin ni Mrs.  Cathy sa ground floor ng company ay kaagad kaming sinalubong ng secretary ng Vice president ng kompanya…

“Ms. Brent,  sorry to disturbe you ma’am but it was sent for you… Its an invitation from the Mendez Group of Companies for Karl and Carl Mendez 26th Birthday…” She said..  I just took the invation from her hand..  It was sent by Karl Mendez…  I haven’t checked my inbox yet… I always use my office phone while I’m on the work..  May be he texted me there… Gosh! I almost forgot that it’s their birthday today!  How naive of me! It’s six in the evening later! Omo! I need to call my glam team… Err…  And an urgent gown ofcours…  I told my secretary to call famous boutiques that will provide my gown and also to contact my glam team…

Matapos no’n ay kaagad akong pumunta sa Parking lot dala-dala ang maleta ko…  I felt really tired… kaya nagpadrive na lang ako sa company car papunta sa bahay… I should have a rest first before the party…  Errr.  For how many years, Ofcourse I need to show up to them.. Kahit kasi nasa Pilipinas na ako ay si Alex at Bell pa lang ang nakikita ko the rest of the squad ay hindi pa…  So I shouldn’t miss the opportunity…

Ibinaba ko ang salamin ng sasakyan ng tumapat na kami sa gate ng mansion the security is tripled for the better… Matapos no’n ay kaagad akong bumaba at ibinigay sa mga kasmbahay ang maleta ko…. Bago ako umakyat ng kwarto ay pinuntahan ko muna si Dad…

“How’s the project, sweety?” He asked after I kissed him on the cheek…

“Everything is going well Dad…  You shouldn’t worry about anything…” I said at nagpaalam na…. Calix is playing on the pool…  My poor Calix…  I wish I have more time to spend with my baby brother…. Matapos ay umakyat na ako sa kwarto, matapos kong magpalit ng damit at maglinis ng katawan ay natulog na ako…  I set my alarm clock 2 hours before the event…. Whoa!  Makakatulog din! I felt really drained… But I won’t give up ’till we reach the top again…

As I went down from my car,  flashes of Cameras are everywhere…. The Birthday of the twins will be held here, on their main company building… I walk on the red carpet flaunting my red long gown with black belt that perfectly shape my waist…  It has slit on the left part that shows my long legs and white skin… Well I worked hard for it..

I made my way on the red carpet… I brought my Louis Vuitton hand bag… I put an angelic smile on my face…  Who would have thought that this girl standing in front of there is a busy businesswoman.

Pagkapasok ko sa reception ng party ay kaagad akong dinala sa Hall kung saan magaganap ang Celebratation ng kambal.  Gosh! I missed them!  All of them!

Noong pumasok na ako ay mga hindi pamilyar na mukha ang sumalubong sa’kin…  But some of them seems know me…  Ngumingiti lang ako sa mga taong nakangiti sa’kin….

Nang marating ko ang Table kung nasaan sila ay kaagad akong sinalubong ni Bell ng Yakap…  Nagbeso kami… Gano’n din ang ginawa ni Clint sa akin at ni Bryan….

“Where’s Alex?” I asked…. But they all just shrugged their shoulders… “We have a lot of catching up to do… Kaye… You owe me…” saad naman ni Nathan at napatawa naman ako sa sinabi niya… Well,  Nathan and I are a good friends….

“You should have invited Ryze here…” I said to him referring to his girlfriend… Yeah,  the Nathaniel Mendoza is not a bachelor anymore.. 

“Nope…  She can’t Kaye… She’s busy as of the moment… Halos parehas kayo no’n eh…” Natatawang saad ni Nathaniel… Habang nag-uusap ay nagpatuloy ang selebrasyon… Everything here are oozing with Luxury the whole place won’t be seen as a simple hall, it was filled with light and chandeliers and round tables are everywhere with a beautiful table setting….

Naputol lamang ang pagmamasid ko ng makita ko ang lalaking ayaw kong makita kahit kailan but… He’s not alone…  He’s with someone… That girl… it’s Aika… Puta!  Buti na lang hindi ako nagpadala sa kaniya sa Boracay…. I shouldn’t gave in on him…  Napaka babaero! Lumingkis naman ang kamay ni Aika sa braso ni Clint… Err!  Kairita! Before I could even put away my gaze from them nagkatinginan kami ni Clint… Para bang nataranta siya at kaagad na tinanggal ang kamay ni Aika… Pfft! What a bullshit!  What would I think? Ofcourse, He will be invited here… Walang emosyon naman akong umiwas ng tingin sa kanila…  Gosh!  Tingnan ko pa lang sila kumukulo na ang dugo ko….

Nang lumabas na ang mga birthday Celebrant ay gwapong-gwapo ang dalawa pero pansin naman ang paghahanap ng mga mata ni Karl sa paligid… Hmmm. He’s looking for someone or should I say he’s looking for Alex…  Pero nasaan na kaya si Alex…

Nang mapadako ang tingin niya sa’min ay ngumiti ito..  Pero pansin ko ang lungkot sa mga mata niya…  I guess he’s disappointed that Alex is not here…  Yet…

Napatingin naman ako kay Carl… Nakatingin ito sa akin kaya kumaway ako sa kaniya at nginitian din siya….

The whole party went well…. Bryan and Bell as usual the whole party ay parang sila lang ang tao sa mundo…  But Thank God Nathaniel is beside me…  Kundi kanina pa ako inantok…

Matapos ng pagdiriwang ay lumapit kami kina Carl at Karl pati na din sa mga magulang nila…

“Oh! Are you Kaye? The new President of BE?” tanong ng papa nila Carl…

“Yes po tito…” I answered and we both shake our hands pati na din sa asawa nito… Nagpakilala din naman ang mga kasama ko sa kanila…

“Excuse me!” saad ng matandang boses mula sa likod ko but Before I could even look on my back….

“Mr.  Simoun Silverio…. Mabuti ay nakarating kayo sa pagdiriwang ng anak ko…” Bati ni tito Carlo sa kaniya…

Simoun Silverio? Simoun?  Silverio? Puta!  I know that name! My body stiffened… But It took a lot of courage to take a look on him… As I look on back…  I saw a man on it’s 50’s… Same with my Dad’s age… 

“That silverio!  Is he really that mad!  My goodness! It’s been decades! Fuck that man!”

“Putanginang Silverio iyan! Siya ang may pakana nito!”

“M-mag kano ang binayad ni Simoun sa inyo? I could pay you ten times…”

I still remember it clear…. The man who tried to killed our family is him but…. His eyes… His nose… It’s all familiar on me! No!  I’m just concluding things!  It won’t happen! Before I could even react ay lumapit ang dalawang taong pilit kong iniiwasan sa Party…  Napatingin ang mga kaibigan ko sa’kin but I just smiled on them…  They look bothered…  Masamang tingin naman ang ipinupukol ni Bell kay Aika…  If looks can kill sa lagay ngayon she’s probably dead by now….

“Oh… This is my anak…. Clint Montenegro Silverio…. My soon-to-be daughter in law,  Aika Ramos…” I tried to remain calm as much as possible on the bomb he just said…  No it couldn’t be! Bigla naman parang nawalan ako ng lakas… I couldn’t bare it… That Clint is his son? That Clint’s Biological father is him! Puta! Yung tatay niya ang sumubok na patayin ang buong pamilya ko?  Tangina lang!

“Excuse me…” I said as I made out my way from the circle… Bell is giving me questions through his eyes gano’n din ang iba pang mga kaibigan namin but I look on them as If I’m saying na okay lang ako….

Bago ako makaalis sa bilog ay nakita ko ang nag-aalalang mukha ni Clint… But I ignored it… Gosh!  I couldn’t believe it…  That Clint and that Simoun!  Tangina!  But conclusions must not be made out of it…  I should be wise and analyze things deeper…  I should…

I hurriedly went to the Comfort room, I wash my hands as I enter….  I look on the mirror but the bitch I don’t want to see barged in…

“Hey… Sweety… I miss you…” akmang lalapitan ako ni Aika but I raise my left hand as if I’m saying na huwag siyang lalapit sakin….

“Why are you jealous? Hindi ka pa din ba nakaka-move on?  My gosh!  Uso mag move on sis! Sorry huh,  baka hindi mo kinaya na engage na kami…” She said at pinakita pa ang palasingsingan niyang may singsing… Pfft.  As if I care… 

“Me?  Jealous? Why would I?  You’re both waste and trash…  Kaya deserve niyo ang isa’t isa…” I said and look at her mockingly…

“I’ve heard na palugi na ang kumpanya niyo ah?” I asked and laugh sarcastically…

“Don’t get me wrong ahhh.  Pero I wish you Goodluck and have a happy married life…” I said to her at pumeke pa ng tawa….

Halata ang inis sa mukha niya…  Pfft..  As if I care… Lalagpasan ko na sana siya pero bigla niyang himawakan ang kamay ko…

“Who said that? Hindi nalulugi ang kompanya namin!” she blurted at halos lumabas na ang ugat sa leeg niya sa pag-sigaw niya…  Marahas ko namang inalis ’yon..

“Don’t me…  I have you investigated… Oppss.  Nadulas!” saad ko at tumawa pa…

“You! Yo-…” Hindi na niya na tuloy ang sasabihin niya ng sumulpot ang humahangos na si Clint sa girl’s comfort room…

“What did you do?” He asked Aika… Halata naman ang galit sa mukha ni Clint… Opss. Bahala kayo diyan…

Tinalikuran ko na silang dalawa at bumalik kung nasaan si Bell..  Inikot ko naman ang aking mata at nakita ko ang matanda na may nga kausap na kaedaran nito! Puta!  I can’t believe how fragile and poor our justice is! But I promise… I’ll make sure to make him pay for what he did, maipakulong ko lang siya ay sapat ng kabayaran ’yon…

I didn’t plan on seeking for revenge…  Pero I want justice…  Justice must be reserve to the people who deserve…. But knowing Clint and that man are father and child,  sho sweet, it’s giving me frustrations…. Manang-mana siguro si Clint sa ugali ng papa niya! Parehas demonyo!

There are questions that needs an answer pero hindi ko alam kung saan ko makukuha…  I couldn’t believe it! That man who tried to kill us os Clint father? Para bang mas lalo akong nainis at nagalit kay Clint….

Dahil nawalan na ako ng gana ay napagpasiyahan ko ng umuwi… I don’t want to stay here anymore… I can’t stand them…  Matapos kong magpaalam kina Carl ay lumabas na ako… Ihahatid pa sana ako ni Nathaniel pero hindi na ako pumayag dahil nagkakasiyahan pa sila….

Palabas na sana ako ng Hall ng may humarang sa’kin…. It’s Simoun Silverio…

“Uuwi ka na, Iha?” Tanong niya, halata ang pagiging maimpliwensiya at makapangyarihan niya but it won’t affect me…  I also have power…  Kung sa tingin niya ay matatakot niya ako…  Well sorry to tell this but NO!

“Opo Tito…” sagot ko dito at binigyan ng ngiti. Nginitian niya din naman ako pabalik..  Puta! Nakakainis lang!

“I haven’t formally introduced myself, Iha… I’m Simoun Silverio… The CEO and President of Silverio International Company… I’ve heard that you are the new President of BE?” saad niya…

“Yes…  Tito…  I am… Kaye Louis Brent… “ saad ko and we shake hands…  I could feel na there’s tension between this old man…

“Pa… What are you doing?” seryosong tanong naman ng anak niya…. Ni Clint….

“Why anak?  I’m just introducing myself to your friend…” seryosong sagot niya ramdam ko ang pag-aalala sa akin ni Clint but I don’t care…

“I have my way out… Thank you sir…” saad ko at binigyan siya ng ngiti…  Well I should play dumb para hindi siya maghinala na alam ko na siya ang putanginang matanda na sumubok na pumatay sa’min….

“Hey… What did you talk about?” saad ng humahangos na lalaki na sa sumabay sa paglalakad ko…

“It’s none of your business…” I said in a bored tone…

“You shouldn’t be that close to my father… “ He warned…  Pfftt.  Ano ba satingin niya ang ginagawa ko?  Nilalandi ang tatay niya? Gago!

“Sino ka ba?  Last time I check wala ka namang papel sa buhay ko…” Saad ko…

Nasa malapit na kami sa parking lot ng hawakan niya ang kamay ko…

“Kaye… Please…  Don’t do this to me….” He pleads. “Hear me out…  Ganda…  I’ll explain everything…” He said….

“No… Wala ka na dapat pang Ipaliwanag! Tapos na tayo! Wag kang tanga! Nakakasawa ka kaya!” saad ko at medyo nilakasan ko pa ang huling sinabi ko…. I felt his body stiffened….

Ha?  Anong satingin niya babalik ako? Tangina!

“Kaye… Please… Ganda… Jist give me some more time….” saad niya…  Batid ko ang lungkot sa mga mata niya…

“Clint… I’m not getting a revenge on you or anything… I just don’t want to associate myself again with the Jerk that I broke up with 7 years ago… Hindi na kita gusto!” saad ko…. But one thing I knew… He’s kissing me… My eyes went wide…  I don’t know what to do! Puta!

His kisses are familiar to my body… But I can’t… I pushed him!

“Putangina mo! Bastos ka!” sigaw ko….

“Kaye… Ganda…  I know it….  You still love me…  Please gagawin ko ang lahat para maibalik ka lang…” saad niya at hinawakan pa ang dalawang kamay ko pero marahas ko lang yun na inalis…

“Wala ng babalik sayo! Matagal na tayong tapos…  Sinong nagtapos ng relasyon natin? Ako ba?  Ikaw!  Bobo! You know… Kung nababaliw ka na,  wag kang lumapit sa’kin… At kahit kailan hindi ko kailangan ng paliwanag mo!” saad ko sa kaniya…. I should remain my face… Hindi dapat ako magpadala sa kaniya…  Hindi dapat ako magpaawa sa kaniya… Shouldn’t let him drag me down again…

“You’re just saying that because you’re hurt…  But I promise ganda…  I’ll have you back…  Kahit ilang sampal pa ang ibigay mo sa’kin but hear me out please?”  Saad niya. Pfft.  This talk is making no sense… Tatalikod na sana ako ng bigla siyang yumakap sa likod ko….

Naramdaman ko ang pagpatak ng luha sa kabilang balikat ko….

“I know I did you wrong…. But ganda…  I love you…  I still do…  Just give me some time… I promise I’ll get you back… Wag mo lang akong iiwan ulit… I waited for this… I love you…”  My body stiffened as I felt his tears…  Pero kusa na siyang umalis at narinig ko na lang ang lakad niya palayo…

Napahawak naman ako sa dibdib ko…  No!  Why my heart is beating like this? I shouldn’t feel this way!  Tangina! No!  No!  No!  I already get over him for years! Hindi na muli akong magpapauto pa! Why? Why it’s beating like this?

TB-26

“Did you gather things about him?” I asked….  Noong sabado ay nakita ko ang lalaking gustong magpapatay sa pamilya ko…  The security in ou house is tightened hindi ko na ipinaalam pa kay Dad…kio  I don’t want to stress him anymore…  My baby brother has his owen body guards that will guard him all the time, that’s the least thing I could do for him….

“Yes…  Ma’am Brent… I’ll send you the papers weeks from now… I’ll gather everything I could, Ms.  Brent…” saad ng private investigator ko…

“Thanks Jeff, thank you…” I said at ibinaba na ang tawag… I’m now on my way to my office ng biglang salubungin ako ni Mrs.  Cathy….

“The board want to talk to you. Ma’am.” saad niya..

“What’s the sudden rush?” I asked…

“I don’t know, Ma’am but this urgent…” She said… Kaagad naman ako pumunta sa Conference Room…

“Goodmorning..” saad ko at hindi ko na sila pinatayo pa…

“What’s the matter?” I asked…

“We just want to Congratulate you, Iha…. We received the report from the Hotel and Resort that you are working with in Aklan…” saad ng isa sa mga matatandang lalaking BOD.

“Oh!  That’s for the company, but thanks Mr. Domingo…” I said then gave them a smile…

“Ayway, do you have a boyfriend? My youngest child is still single…  Ms.  Brent…” saad ni Mr. Domingo!  Okay! That’s not funny anymore…

“Awww. But I have a Boyfriend po…  Nasa States po siya ngayon… “  saad ko…  Me and Chris are doing well.. Yeah… Pero hindi na gano’n kadalas kung makapag-usap kami…

“Is that all? Sorry,  but I need to get back on work…” I said… Tumango naman sila at ngumiti…  Errr.  Mukhang napaka considerate ng mga BOD…  I love them all!  Kahit na mas matanda sila..  They are all helping me…

Matapos no’n ay kaagad naman akong bumalik ng office.. That’s actually nothing…  They shouldn’t have done that… Errr.  But what could I do?  They are part of the company… I should treasure them..

Pagkarating ko ng office ay kaagad akong Nag-umpisa na magtrabaho…

Girls bar tayo mamaya… Broken hearted ako. -Alex

G. ako! Tayong tatlo dapat ah? -Bell

“Seriously? After work?  What a good start for my monday. 😐” I texted..

But I guess, I might do this for once.. For them… I think Alex has a problem and he needs us…  Awwww. Alex is just a gay not a transgender but I love him,  he’s one of my bestfriend.

Buong maghapon ay hindi na ako makatayo sa dami ng mga papers na kailangan kong pirmahan at aralin… I asked my driver na ipakuha ako ng damit at sapatos sa bahay since balak kong dumiretso na lang sa pagkikitaan namin nina Alex at Bell…

I took a last glance on my mirror in the office,  I changed my office clothes from a Black Halter top and Black skirt.. I wore my red High-heels… I aslo have on my left wrist my Black gucci watch…  Yeah. I’m ready to go…

My long legs is visible but I confidently walk out from my Office…  Shock is plastered on Mrs. Cathy’s face…

“You may go Cathy…” I said to her…  Nakatitig lang siya sa’kin at dahan dahang tumango..  I know I’m pretty, Mrs.  Cathy…

Bago ako makalabas ay halos bumagsak ang mga panga nila sa pagdaan ko…  They are may be shock na kanina lamang ay naka-office attire ako pero ngayon ready to party na…. Dahil hindi naman ako masiyadong pagod I decided to drive on my own…

After half of an hour of driving ay nakarating na ako sa isang High-end bar sa BGC… Pagkapasok ko ay kaagad kong nakita sina Bell…  Alex is crying…  Whoa!  I guess his heart is in trouble…  I can see myself on him… But mine is much painful..

Napatingin naman ako sa paligid I’ve seen guys on their suits na malagkit na nakatingin sa’kin but I just smiled on them…

“Hey..  What did I miss?” bungad ko at bineso ang dalawa…

“Karl and Alex broke up… Bago pa pala magbirthday si Karl ay naghiwalay na sila…” saad ni Bell…

Hinagod ko naman ang likod ni Alex..

“Let’s go,  iinom na lang natin iyan…  Medyo pagod din ako sa work…  And I nwed to loosen up a bit…  Mamatay sa inggit ang mga lalaking ’yon… “ nakita ko naman ang gulat sa kanilang mga mata sa sinabi kong ’yon at sabay kaming tatlong nagsitawa….

Makalipas ang ilang oras ay pinilit kong hindi magpakalasing sa alak but this is really good…  I can’t help myself… Mukhang nawala na din sa isip ni Alex si Karl….

“Girls let’s dance!” sigaw niya…

“I can’t…” saad ni Bell… Pfftt. Purket ikakasal na…

“Bye…” natatawang saad namin ni Alex.. I guess we’re both drunk na… But still may malay pa naman ako….

We both dance sexily on the dance floor!  Whoa!  I feel so free and wild!  I hope Chris wouldn’t know about it! I felt something on my back kesa matakot sa kung ano man ang nakabukol sa likod ko ay sinayawan ko na lang siya…. “You’re making me horny… Baby…” saad niya…  I smirked..  I’m drunk but I’m not a fool…

I just let his cock twist…. I twerk on him…

“Let’s get a room..  Babe… “ He said…. I look on the man on my back…  I just smiled on him while dancing…. He’s hot and handsome but Err.  He’s a fuckboy!

Umiling lang ako but he’s persistent…. Let’s see kung hanggang saan siya dadalhin ng libog niya….

I dance and dance in front of him..  He’s smiling from ear to ear… Puta!  His expression is priceless! Boys will be boys,  what would I expect….

He hold my waist and whispering different words through my ear but I don’t give a damn about it… 

My eyes went wide when somebody punched him on the… I am shock…  Really shock… Ng masilayan ko na ang mukha ng sumuntok sa lalaki ay kaagad na kumulo ang dugo ko…. What is he doing here?

Galit na mata naman ang pinukol niya sa’kin at walang pasabing hinila ako palabas ng Bar… .

“What are you thinking? Why did you punched that man?” I shout!

“Puta!  Can’t you see? Halos gusto ka na niyang ikama but you don’t care!  Ganiyan ka na ba?” He said my hands instantly get on his face…  I slapped him.. .

“So ano kung gano’n ako?  Wala kang pakealam!” sigaw ko sa kaniya…. Babalik na sana ako sa loob ng hilain niya ako sa kotse niya….

“I will bring you home…” Pinal na saad niya .. Fuck!  What’s wrong with this man?

“No!” sigaw ko at marahas na tinaggal ang kamay niya sakin…

“Kaye.. . Please naman oh…  Don’t make things hard for me…  Hindi ko kaya na makita ka na may kasamang iba..” He said while pleading…

“Ha? Gago ka ba?  Wala ng tayo!” saad ko..

“No… Babalik pa tayo… Kaye…  Please…  Just hang in there… Konting panahon na lang ang hinihingi ko…” saad niya…

“I think you’re going crazy na… You should go to Mental Institution and not here!” mataray na saad ko sa kaniya….

“Would you dare to listen on my explanations? Or natatakot ka na baka may valid reason ako sa nagawa ko dati?” nanghahamon na saad niya…

“No!  Kahit ano pang rason mo sa nagawa mo dati..  Wala na akong pake sayo!  I love the man I have right now! You’re just a trash for me… Hang in there? Mag-isa ka!” saad ko but suddenly he pulled me…  I can’t utter anywords para bang nawala ang lakas ng loob ko…

“You’re mine… Just mine..” saad niya at kasabay no’n ang marubdob na halik mula sa kaniya…  My body can’t fight against it…. Hindi ko alam pero dahil siguro sa Alex ay tumugon ako….  His kisses went deeper and so am I… Pumasok kami sa kotse niya habang naghahlikan pa din…. But a realization hit me…  This not right! I pushed him at nauntog pa siya sa pagkakatulak ko but I didn’t mind him anymore…  Kaagad akong lumabas ng kotse niya at sumakay ng Taxi… Ipapakuha ko na lang ang kotse ko bukad sa driver ko… Arg!  Puta!  I shouldn’t let myself fall in to him again…

Nakita ko ang paghabol niya sa sinasakyan ko but he didn’t able to…  Hindi ko alam but tears suddenly flew to my eyes…. Why?  Why I’m feeling like this again?  I shouldn’t let my guard off again…  I shouldn’t! He’s just pretending to be hurt!  He broke you!  He made you look lile a fool Kaye!  That will be absurd to let him in again!

I lazily turn off my alarm clock, Arg! My head hurts so much!  I need meds! Dahan dahan ko namang iniling ang ulo ko to ease the hangover I’m feeling right now!  Gosh!  Napadami ako ng inom kagabi!  I shouldn’t be late from of office…  After I drink my coffee and Medicine for hangover ay medyo nawala naman ang hilo at sakit ng ulo ko…  I forgot my limitations….

Before I went to the comfort room ay puno ng text at tawag mula kay Bell ang phone ko…  Nakalimutan ko pa lang magpaalam sa kaniya kahapon…. Bigla ko naman naalala ang encounter ni Clint namin kahapon.  Gosh!  I shouldn’t let him do that again to him!  Subukan niya lang….

I hurriedly took a shower and wear my light brown office suit…  A blazer and a skirt…. I really look formal now…  I put a minimal amount of make up and hide the eye bags that stays on my eyes…. Matapos no’n ay bumaba na ako…  I don’t have time for breakfast anymore kaya kumuha na lang ako ng sandwich.

After I kissed dad and Calix, I made out my way from the Mansion and I let my driver to drive my car to the office… After 30 minutes of travelling, I went out of my Car… 

As I enter the Building, employees greet me with a smile… But I couldn’t greet them back so I just nod on them…  Habang naglalakad ay pansin kong nakatingin sa’kin ang mga lalaking empleyado lalo na ang mga nasa edad ko…  I just put a sly smile on my face…  Naalala ko tuloy ang pagsuntok ni Clint sa lalaki kagabi…  Susuntukin din kaya niya ang mga ’to? Gosh! Ano na ’tong pinag-iisip ko… Lasing ka pa ba.. Kaye?  Come back to your senses!

Pagkarating ko sa office ko, I sat on my swivel chair… I look on the papers that I have on my desk… There are meetings that I need to attend later…  I’ve also seen reports from Aklan… I smiled… Gosh!   Naeecxcite na ako for the grand opening of our hotel and resort….

Hapon na ng matapos ko ang meeting ng iba’t ibang departamento ng kompanya… I’m just sitting the whole time but my brain is working all the time… Kakabalik ko lang sa office ng biglang tumunog ang Intercom… Mula sa secretary ko…

“Ma’am someone is waiting for you… Wala po siyang naka-set na appointment but she wait for you for almost 4 hours…” saad niya na ipinagtaka ko dahil wala naman akong bisita na inaasahan ngayong araw.. .

“Who’s that?” I asked.

“Mrs.  Roselyn Montenegro…. Ma’am…” My body stiffened… It’s been years since  I’ve heard her name…  It’s Clint mother… Tita Roselyn…. She’s very welcoming at tinuring niya na din akong anak noong kami pa ni Clint… But I haven’t abled to check on them for years…

“L-let her in…” nauutal na saad ko…. Am I ready to see her?  I know she didn’t do something bad on me but it bothers me… I’m afraid to see Clint’s mother again…

As the door open,  my body stiffined, I don’t know what should I react but I miss tita too.  I miss her.. . I really do…  Both Kiko and her… I stand up on my chair… And hugged her… She hugged me back too..

“I missed you,  Darling…” saad niya…  Pansin na din ang pagtanda niya sa paglipas ng ilang taon but her beauty is still evident….

“I missed you too,  Tita… Kamusta naman po si Kiko?” I asked.. She caressed my hair sofly at humiwalay sa yakap namin.. ..

“College na siya, Iha…” saad niya… “Upo po tayo tita…” saad ko. We sat on the long sofa on my office she hold my both hands at inilagay yun sa binti ko.. ..

“You look so beautiful, Iha… I couldn’t believe how gorgeous and elegant you are now…” saad niya…  I just smiled on her….

“Bakit nga po pala kayo napadalaw tita.. . It’s been a long time po… Sorry po hindi na po ako nagpaalam sa inyo dati…  Marami po kasing hindi inaasahang pangyayari eh…” saad ko.. .

Hinawakan niya naman ang pingi ko…

“No, Iha…  I know what happened to you.. Ako nga dapat ang humingi ng tawad sayo eh…” saad niya habang nakangiti sa akin…  But her eyes suddenly became sad… Nagulat ako ng bigla siyang umiyak sa harap ko.. . I panicked….

“Don’t cry… Tita… Wala po kayong kasalanan…” I said to her while caressing her back.

I wiped ger tears away… “Emosyonal na talaga kapag tumatanda…” natatawang saad niya but tears are still flowing from her eyes..  And it breaks me… I couldn’t look at her eyes… I could see pain and sadness…

“Clint is in the Hospital, Iha… He’s looking for you… Nahihiya man ako ay kinapalan ko na ang mukha ko… I know what happened to the both of you… Iha… Alam kong galit ka kay Clint sa ginawa niya… Wala man ako sa posisyon para sabihin to pero try to hear him out… Iha… I should be the one to blame for all of this…” saad niya habang umiiyak…  I don’t know but tears suddenly flow from my eyes.. . I hugged her again…

“Kahapon ay nabalitaan ko na lang na sinugod siya sa Hospital matapos mabugbog sa labas ng isang Bar sa BGC… When he wake uo a while ago… He’s looking for you…  He wanted to talk to you…” My body stiffened on what she said… Sino ang bumugbog sa kaniya…

“Paano pong nangyari na nabugbog siya…” Tanong ko na hindi ko na maiwasana ang mag-alala… Dahil ba ’yon sa lalaking sinuntok niya kahapon?  Tangina!

“Hindi ko alam, Iha pero mukhang mag mga kasama ang nabangga niya…” saad ni tita Roselyn…

“Iha… Can you please hear him out? Gusto ko man ako ang magsabi sa inyo…  But it’s better you hear it from him…” saad niya… She’s pleading…. I just nod on her…  I couldn’t bare to see her crying…  It breaks my heart…

I think wala naman masama na pakinggang ang paliwanag ni Clint… But I will make sure na hanggang doon na lang ’yon…  I have Christopher now…  I can’t let him destroy me again… I can’t…

TB-27

I’m now standing on the door where Clint is… My hands are trembling… I don’t know how should I do it…  But with all the courage I have… Ay binuksan ko ang pintuan…  My eyes directly look on the man that’s laying on the Bed… I gasps for an air as I see Clint with many bandage on his body… His head were bandaged also. His left arm were casted… What happened to him? Puno pa ng pasa ang mukha niya…

“Hey! You come… Thanks to my mom…” natatawang saad niya…  Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako dahil nakakapagloko pa siya kahit bugbog na siya….

“Binalikan ako nung lalaking lumandi sayo eh,  nagsama pa ng kasama.. Napaka duwag…” natatawang saad niya pero kesa ay tumawa din ako ay nainis lang ako…

“You should just run!” naiinis na saad ko sa kaniya…  Fuck!  Baliw na ba talaga siya?

“No.. I didn’t need to run… Tsaka mukhang kailangan ko ding mabugbog para makausap ka eh..” saad niya at uupo sana siya pero napadaing lang siya… I panicked when the pain is evident on his face…

“Wag ka ng umupo…” mahinahon ko ng saad sa kaniya…

“I won’t stay here long may trabaho pa ako sa office…” sagot ko…

I won’t stay here long..  I shouldn’t.. Kung hindi lang dahil kay tita Roselyn ay hindi na ako pupunta dito… I don’t want to here his explanations din naman eh…

“Did mom tell you anything?” He asked…  Umiling lang ako… He suddenly became serious…

“I shouldn’t have let you go… Ganda…” panimulang saad niya but I just stayed still

“I shouldn’t left you behind… I know wala ng silbi ang mga sasabihin ko sayo but still I wanted you to know…  That I love you… Mahal kita mula noon hanggang ngayon… Kaye…” saad niya at ramdam ko ang pagpipigil niya sa emosyon niya…

“I-I shouldn’t have let him dictate me… I shouldn’t… Walang segundo, minuto,  oras, araw, buwan at taon ang lumipas na hindi ko pinagsisisihan ang naging desisyon ko…  I know…  I’m a coward…  I’m a coward for hurting the girl that I love…  I’m sorry…” hindi ko alam but there’s something on me na gusto siyang i-comfort ngayon…  He’s crying… He’s crying! Fuck!

“Ang bobo ko… Ang sama-sama ko!  Napaka selfish ko kasi… Kasi… Sinaktan kita… Araw-araw hindi ka nawala sa isip ko… Ikaw…  Ikaw…  Yung rason kung bakit patuloy pa din akong bumabangon…  Sana nga panaginip na lang yung pag-iwan ko sayo…  Sana…” he cried…  I just stay stilled pero ramdam ko ang pamamasa ng mga mata ko….

“Ipinangako ko na kapag dumating na ang tamang panahon na pwede na tayo ay magkakasama tayo ulit… But I was wrong…  I’m late… You don’t love me anymore… I hurt you… I know… I’m sorry… Kaye ko…  Ganda…  Sorry…” He said and wiped my tears… But I can’t hold him too…  I might lose my control to myself pag hinawakan ko siya…

“I wanted us to grow together… To live together… To be successful together… But faith didn’t allow us… Sabi nila there’s always right time pero mukhang walang tamang oras sa’kin… Dahil…  Dahil yung mahal ko ay may mahal ng iba… I’m not saying this for you to forgive me…  I just want to lift the burden I gave you for seven years.. . I know.. . I hurt you… I really do… I’m a bullshit…  I know it… Deserve ko lahat ng sampal mo…  Deserve ko ’yon… But I know this time I need to set you free…  I know…  You love someone else now… Pero umasa pa din ako…” Pagak na napatawa naman siya at pinunasan ang mga luhang lumabas sa mga mata niya…

Tears are flowing from my eyes… I can’t make a decision that I’ll regret sooner or later… Christopher is with me…  We’re together….

“Sorry Kaye… Sorry kung kailangan kong piliing saktan ka at iwan ka… I’m sorry.. Kaye… Sana mapatawad mo ako… Pero I wanted you to know na mahal na mahal kita…  Ikaw lang… Wala ng iba…” saad niya… Pero pinilit niyang ayusin ang sarili niya bago magpatuloy….

Kaye… Don’t hold him…  You will lose your control… You can’t… You won’t…

“My mom.. .. Bumalik ang sakit niya sa puso… We need money… So Bad… Ayaw man ng magulang ko na lumapit sa tatay ko… Kailangan… Dahil kung hindi ay baka wala na siya ngayon…. I went to my biological Dad, Simoun Silverio… He’s evil…  I know it… Kapalit ng perang ibinigay niya samin ay ang pagtira ko sa kaniya… That’s absurd…  I know… But I have no choice… Lalo na ng… ng pinapatay niya ang Papa Ben… I couldn’t do anything… We’re just nothing compare to him… I’m sorry Kaye… Sorry… Sorry Ganda… But I want you to know…  Na hindi ka nakakasawa, na ikaw yung babaeng gusto kong mapangasawa…  Wala akong pake sa iba…  Sayo lang…” saad niya…  I felt a pang of pain in my heart at the same time parang lumuwag din ang pakiramdam ko…  I just cried…. I cant hold nor touch him…  I can’t…

“You’re forgiven… Clint… I understand you…. Pero… “ I said pero pinutol niya ako…

“Please give me a chance… Just spare me more time…  Konti na lang.. Kaye…  Konti na lang..” naiiyak na saad niya..

“Pero may kaniya-kaniya na tayong buhay…. Clint… Sorry…” saad ko…

“No!  No! Kaye.. We will fix this… Bigyan mo lang ako ng oras… Hold there tight please.. I love you, I always do….” saad niya…

I couldn’t stand here anymore…  Tumayo na ako at mabilis na nagsiagos ang mga matatabang luha mula sa aking mga mata na hindi ko na mapigilan pa…. I look back on him at mabilis na nilisan ang silid kung nasaan siya…

Bakit?  Bakit ngayon lang!  Bakit?  Ang unfair pero wala na akong magagawa…  May kaniya kaniya na kaming buhay… Hindi ngayon o bukas…. Hindi na talaga kami pwede…

“What happened, Iha?” tanong sakit ni tita… She hugged me tight…. But I couldn’t utter any words… “Sorry tita… Sorry po… Pero satingin ko hanggang dito na lang po kami ni Clint… Mauuna na po ako.. Sorry po…” saad ko at mabilis na nilisan ang lugar… May mga tao akong nakakasalubong… Siguro mukha akong tanga ngayon… But now I wanted to get out of here…  This place suffocates me…

Siguro if he had tell me the reason sana may nagawa pa… If he tell me everything… If he just trusted me…. Pero wala na akong magagawa… Everything between us are far gone now…. I wish him luck… He’s forgiven pero hanggang doon na lang ’yon…

Napatingin ako sa labas ng eroplano… Pabalik na ulit ako sa Manila…. Dalawang linggo na simula ng makapag-usap kami ni Clint sinadya kong hindi na muna muli kami magkita… Pero bawat araw ay hindi siya nawala sa isip ko…  Yung mga what ifs’ na wala naman ng magagawa ay Paulit-ulit ko pa ding naiisip…

What if lumaban siya? What if sinabi niya sa’kin? What if kami pa din hanggang ngayon?  What if nag tiwala siya sa’kin? But those are useless… Wala ng magbabago kahit pa pagsisihan ang nakaraan… I know… There’s something on me na gumaan ng malaman ko ang rason niya but it doesn’t change the fact na malayo na ang mundo naming dalawa….

“Hey… Are you okay?” Tanong sa akin ni Bell dahil sumama siya sa akin sa pagpunta sa Aklan… We stayed there for two weeks para mag observe at supervise ang buong project. Dahil ilang buwan na lang din ay magbubukas na ang Hotel at Resort namin…

“Yeah…” sagot ko at ipinikit na ang aking mata… I told Bell and Alex everything that happened between us…  Nalulungkot man sila sa kinahantungan namin ay wala na din kaming magagawa….

Makalipas ang ilang oras ay nakarating na kami sa Rooftop ng kompanya… Pagkababa ko sa ground floor ay naghiwalay na din kami ni Bell…

I will go home for today…. Me and Calix will go on the Mall later… I promise him that once I came back from Aklan we will go on the Mall…

It took me thirty minutes para makauwi,  I went down from my car and hurriedly look for Dad….  He’s reading books… Again…

“How’s your project, Iha?” Dad asked.

“Everything is fine Dad…” I said to him and kiss him on the cheek… “Where’s Calix?” I asked..

“He’s on his room… Kanina pa nga ’yon naeexcite eh…” I just smile on Dad at lumabas na sa office niya…

“Hey, Baby!  Ate’s here!” I said to him… Patakbo naman siyang lumapit sakin at yumakap sa bewang ko….

“Ate… Are we going to the Mall na po ba?” He asked… I pinch his cheek…

“Yes.. Baby we’ll go the mall na…” I answered… “I’ll just get change at pagbaba ko aalis na tayo…” saad ko at humiwalay na sa kaniya… Matapos no’n ay mabilis akong nag-asikaso…  I wore white front knot top and shorts. I paired it with my white sneakers…  I put a minimal make up on my face and brought my prada hand bag.

Pagkababa ko ay kaagad kaming umalis ng kapatid ko… Our driver,  drove us to the mall… It took us half of an hour to get there…. Pagkababa namin ay halata ang saya sa mga mata ng kapatid ko…. I smiled happily… Calix is my happy pill… Err.  This chubby little kid make me forget all my worries….

We went to the arcades and toy stores, I brought him everything he wants…. We decided to eat in an American-Cuisines restaurant… Since he told me he really miss those…  After we ordered ay masigla siyang kumain…  But my eyes directly look on the guys who just entered the restaurant… It’s Clint and Kiko… Kiko really looks handsome too! Grabe!  Clint’s wounds are now all healed pero there are there are traces pa din.

Nataranta naman ako ng tumingin sa direksiyon namin si Clint but I just ignored him…  Sana hindi sila umupo kung nasaan kami…

“Ate? Is that you?” baritonong saad ng binata na si Kiko… Napatingin naman ako sa kaniya…

“Kiko?  Ikaw ba ’yan? Ang gwapo mo na ah…” saad ko… Nakatitig lang sa’kin si Clint but I chose not to talk nor greet him…

“Can we share the table with you, Ate?” tanong ni Kiko…  I just nodded on him…  Umupo siya sa tabi ni Calix at umupo naman sa tabi ko si Clint….

“It’s my brother, Calix…” saad ko…  Kiko pinch Calix cheek…  I smiled on the sight of them…

“Who are they po ate?” Calix asked…

“I’m your Ate’s boyfriend, baby… I’m kuya Clint… And that’s your kuya Kiko…” saad ni Clint…  I look on him and he just smirk.. Baliw na talaga…

“No Kuya! I know Ate’s boyfriend… He’s on the America..” Calix stated…  I smiled on him..  Ha!  Kala mo ah! Natigil lang kami ng dumating na ang order namin..

“I’ll just go on the comfort room.” saad ni Clint….

“You know.. Ate.. . Kuya has been different since nagkahiwalay ko…. Halos araw-araw ay umiinom si Kuya… Malaki ang pasasalamat ko dahil sa kaniya hanggang ngayon buhay pa si mama pero ’yon nga lang wala na kayo…” malungkot na saad ni Kiko…  I wanted to ignore what he just said but my heart won’t… Gosh!  Masasayang lang pala ang isang buwang pag-iwas ko sa pag punta sa mall na ’to…

“Pero alam mo ate… Feel ko obsessed na obsessed sayo si Kuya…  His room is full of your candis photos and portraits… Lahat ng Celebratation na may kinalaman sayo ang nagpapagawa siya ng mga picture mo at ididisplay sa room niya…” Kiko said.. . My heart beats erratically… No!  Don’t!

“I missed you… Kiko..”  pag-iiba ko ng usapan… At mukhang naramadaman niyang ayaw kong pag-usapan ang bagay na ’yon…

“I missed you too.. Ate.. . You should have pay a visit on our house… With this cute man beside me…” He said… Naputol lamang ang pag-uusap namin ng dumating na ang kapatid niya…

“Kiko let’s go home…” seryosong saad niya sa kapatid…  Anyare sa kaniya?

“Seryoso kuya?  Hindi pa nga ako nakakain eh…” napakamot pa siya sa ulo bago tumayo…

“I already paid for the Bill… I insist… If ayaw mo babalik ka sa’kin…” saad niya at naglakad na patalikod. Baliw! Baliw na talaga siya…

Pero ramdam ko ang pamumula ng mukha ko.. .

“Ate bakit namumula yung mukha mo?” Calix asked…

“It’s nothing baby…” I said at kumain na ulit…  Gosh! Why is he acting like that! Is he doing that on purpose…  I forgave him bit that doesn’t mean na we’te back together… Gosh parang gusto ko na naman tuloy bumalik sa Aklan…  But No, I already spent lot of my time there…

Kinabukasan pag kadating ng Office ay halos malaglag ang panga ko pagkapasok ko ng office…  Parang dinala na ang buong flower shop sa dami ng bulaklak dito…

“Who brought these here?” I asked miss Cathy…

“This one includes there…” saad niya at inabot sa aking ang card na may nakasulat na… ‘We’re not yet done… Ganda.’ gosh! The nerve of that man! Pero parang may kumiliti sa puso ko but I chose to shoo it away…

Ipinalagay ko sa garden ng building ang mga bulaklak sayang naman at baka malanta lang dito….

Sino ba naman kasi ang bibili ng ganito kadaming flowers…  Kung akala niyo ay yun lang ’yon ay hindi.  Simula ng magkita kami sa Mall ay palagi na siyang nagtetext whenever I blocked his number he change it right away! Gosh!  Congrats, He’s successful in annoying me!

I had an urgent meeting sa isang isang five-star restaurant na malapit sa kompanya it was set daw by a possible costumer… So I went alone…

“ Marquez…“ saad ko sa receptionist. Pagkatapos non ay dinala ako ng empleyado ng restaurant sa isang VIP room for casual meetings while having lunch…

I was shock to see Clint…  He looks so professional with his suit and tuxedo… Maraming nakalagay na pagkain sa Mesa…

“I guess mali ng dinalhan sa’kin..”  saad ko at akmang tatlikod na pero pinigilan niya ako…

“No… Ganda…  I set up an appointment from you…” He said.

“But-” before I could even continue he cutted me off..

“No buts… It’s about business…” He said kay umupo na din ako sa upuan sa harap niya… Gosh!  Ano bang pinaplano niya?

“Clint…  You already know,  may boyfriend na ako…” saad ko sa kaniya agad na dumaan ang galit at sakit sa mata niya pero kaagad niya ’yong iwinaksi…

“No!  Kasal na ba kayo?  Hindi pa naman ’di ba? That means may chance pa ako… Kahit ilang percent na chansa pa iyan ay susugal na ako… Let’s eat first…” seryosong saad niya at bigla naman naging baliw ang marupok kong puso…  Gosh! This man still affects me!

I barely eat lots of food dahil kahit busy ay Kailangan ko pa din i-maintain ang katawanag pinaghirapan ko…

“What do you want?  Want Business is that?” saad ko matapos namin kumain…

“Stay cool…  Ganda…  I wanted to be with you more…” He said…  Gosh! what’s with this man…  Pero noong nahalata niya na ang pag kairita ko ay kaagad naman siyang nagseryoso… Inihain niya ang mga propisal niya kahit na maganda ang mga ’yon ay isipin ko pa lang na magkakasama kami ’don ay natatakot na ako…

“I will think about it first..”  I said…. Akmang magsasalita na ulit siya ng tumawag ag secretary ko…

“Ma’am may mga papers po na dimating from Mr.  Jeffrey Conrales…” She said…

“Just put it on my desk…” I answered…

“It’s pure business Kaye…  Pero if you are thinking na sumuko na ako sayo, I’m not…  I’m just waiting for the best time..  I need to setlle some things first then we’ll marry each other…” diretsang saad niya na nagpabilis ng takbo ng puso ko…  Gosh!

“Don’t say those things Clint..  Matagal na tayong tapos…” seryosong saad ko…

“I know but I won’t let you go this time… Magkamatayan na pero babawiin kita Kaye…  Alam mo iyan…” saad niya… Nagulat ako ng bigla siyang tumayo at ibinaba ang mukha niya sa tenga ko…

“Yoy really look pretty each day… Ganda…  I love you…” saad niya… Gosh!  Nakakainis…

“W-what?” nauutal na saad ko…

“You heard me right and clearer than the water…  I won’t repeat my self anymore..” saad niya…

“Let’s go…  I know you have alot of work to do…” He said at nauna ng lumabas…  Napahawak naman ako sa dibdib ko dahil sa bilis ng takbo ng puso ko! No!  Not now and not ever! Christopher and I are fine… But I’m starting to be afraid now…

We part our ways…  Bumalik ako sa ofdice to check the documemts that was sent by Jeff… My body shivered as I’ve read how evil that man is…  But it won’t be enough to put him in prison…

She killed someone so she deserve to be there… Should I use Clint to find solid evidence? Will he cooperate? Gosh! It’s his dad…. But I’ll make sure that things will be on the right places…  No one deserves to be killed by someone because of petty reasons… How fuck up the justice in here makes me furious…

Napukaw lamang ang atensiyon ko ng tumunog ang phone ko…

Don’t get near from my Clint, we’re engaged already! You won’t like what I can do…

-Unknown number…

Kahit na walang pangalan ang number na ’to ay kilala ko na… It’s the wicked bitch… It’s Aika.  Pake ko ba sa kaniya? Kairita! Wala na naman ’ata siyang magawa sa buhay niyang mapakla eh! As if naman na natatakot ako sa kaniya…  I am not guilty of anything…

TB-28

SPG!

This chapter contains things that are not allowed to minors… Read at your own risk… Thank you, Gals!

Follow me on my twitter account @KabyTheDreamer

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Nasa Building ako ng Hotel ngayon sa Aklan…  Kakarating ko lamang dito noong nakaraan…  Malaki na ang pagbabago nito simula noong una ko ’tong nakita hanggang ngayon… Nakangiti ako dahil halos konting ayos na lang sa ibang mga kwarto ay tapos na…  Ngayong araw din dadalhin ang mga furnitures na galing sa komapanya ni Clint…

“Hey…” pukaw sa atensiyon ko ng lalaking kakarating lang…

“Be formal, Mr.  Sil-Montenegro…” saad ko..  I don’t know what should I call him..  Nagpabago na ba siya ng apelyido?  Arg!  Kaasar!  Pati ba naman ’yon sakit sa ulo..

“Edi Goodmorning, My beautiful lady…” saad niya napatingin nama ako sa mga kasama ko na para bang kinikilig at sinamaan ko naman sila ng tingin…

“I said be formal,  Mr.  Montenegro…” I said to him…  But woud I get?  He’s a certified hard-headed pati nga sa gitna ng hita niya eh. Gosh!  What are you thinking… Kaye!

“Where are you looking at?” nakangising tanong niya ng hindi ko namalayan na nakatingin na pala ako sa gitnang parte ng hita niya.  Fudge!  Nakakahiya… Pero mas lumaki kaya ’yon ngayon?  What! Kaye!  Bring back to your senses, Bitch!

Iniling ko na lang ang ulo ko at umiwas na ng tingin sa kaniya…  There are lots of trucks outside na nagbaba ng mga furnitures ng kompanya… There beds,  sofas, cabinets, drawers and etc…  That will suffice from different rooms and suites of the Hotel…

Natapos ang pagbaba ng mga furnitures ng medyo madilim na ang gabi…. I decided to bring the heads to a simple celebration dahil sa mga ginagawa nila para mas mapaganda pa ang Hotel at Resort na ’to..   Clint insisted tp join us…

We went to a seafood buffet restaurant….

“Everything is on me… You may get whatever you want…” napatingin naman ako kay Clint ng sabihin niya ’yon..

“No, Clint..  It’s on me… “ pinal na saad ko but he just shrugged his shoulders… Habang kumakain ay pansin ko ang pagdikit ng mga siko ni Clint sa siko ko…  Tiningnan ko naman siya at abala naman siya sa pagkain…  Ha!  The same Clint na may malaking sawa sa tiyan!

“Why are you staring at me? Nafafall ka na naman ba ulit sa’kin?” malokong saad niya… Everyone on the table dropped their jaw on what Clint had said… Fuck!  The nerve of this man!

“Don’t mind him…  He’s just joking…” natatawang saad ko pero mukhang hindi sila nanainiwala sa’kin…

Iniling ko na lang ang ulo ko at hindi ko maiwasan mainis kaya inapakan ko ang paa niya..

“Aray!” daing niya at napatingin naman ang lahat ng nasa table sa kaniya….

“No…  It’s nothing… Nakagat ko lang ang dila ko…” saad niya!  Ha!  Buti nga!  Nakaganti din…  Kung titignan kami ay para kaming mga teenagers at hindi bente singko anyos…

Matapos no’n ay nagpumilit ang mga kasama ko na uminom… Hindi naman ako makatanggi sa kanila at pumayag na din ako..  Afterall, they are all doing their best…  Kahit na magkakedaran lang kami ay talaga nga namang magagaling sila sa propesyon na mero’n sila…

Lumipas ang ilang oras ay hindi ko namalayan na unti-unti na akong nalalasing… “Don’t drink too much…” saway sa’kin ni Clint at inagaw pa ang baso ko.  Tsk!  Pakielamero..

“Akin na ’yan, iinom pa ako…” medyo tipsy na saad ko…  I look on my clock at pasado alas onse na ng gabi…

Hindi ko namalayan na nakaalalay na pala sa’kin si Clint… Papunta na kami sa isa sa mga penthouse kung saan ako namamalagi… His smell,  it lingers on me…  Para bang unti-unti akong nadadala sa amoy niya…  I missed his smell,  damn it!

Ano na bang nangyayari sa’kin? Arg! Go back to your senses.. Kaye! Binuksan niya ang bag ko at kinuha ang susi ng penthouse mula dito…

“Clint…  Do you still love me?” I asked him absentmindedly… I didn’t know what’s going on me but one thing for sure is lasing na talaga ako…

“Yes…  But I know you’re just drunk Kaye…” Saad niya at ipinasok na ako sa kwarto ko…  Kaagad niya ako inilapag sa kama ko but his smell parang ayaw ko malayo sa amoy niya.. Hinatak ko ang tie niya na nasa leeg niya at hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari sa’kin one thing for sure is,  namiss ko siya…  Miss na miss ko na siya…

Naglapat ang mga labi namin, nakita ko naman ang paglaki ng mga mata niya at pilit na inaalis ang labi ko sa kaniya but no one can resist me… I kissed him deeper…  He’s nkt moving at first… “Let’s do it…” Hindi ko na alam ang mga sinasabi ko…

“No Kaye..  I won’t take advantage of you…” saad niya at medyo dumistansiya sa akin… Pero hinatak ko muli ang tie niya at hinalikan muli siya but this time more wild and deeper… Dahil din siguro sa alak ay hindi na lumaban pa si Clint…

Sinasabayan niya na ako…. I unbuttoned his polo at halos mawalan ako ng hininga ng makita ko ang bulk niyang katawan.. His six-pack abs are well sculptured… Hinawakan ko iyon at hinimas hanggang sa mapunta ang kamay ko sa gitna ng hiya niya…

“Oh! So big and hard…” malanding saad ko…  Gosh!  I can’t control my body and mouth…  Help! Anyone?  Help! I shouldn’t be like this but my body decides for me…

I unfastened his black belt, He immediately pull it down…  And the only thing that’s left on him is his boxer. Gosh!  His bulge is really big!  I squeeze it and I felt him shake…

“I didn’t do this with other girls…  My body is for you alone…” magaspang na saad niya at para bang gustong tumalon ng puso ko sa sinabi niya…

He kissed me,  this time ay siya na ang nauna at pinapantayan ko naman ang tindi ng paghalik niya… Hindi ko alam paano pero ang natira na lang pala sa’kin ay ang bra at panty ko…

Dahil siguro sa alak ay hindi na din mapigilan ni Clint ang sarili niya..  I provpke him afterall…

Bago niya pa matanggal ang natitirang tela sa katawan ko ay kaagad ko siyang tinulak sa kama at dinaganan siya ng petite na katawan ko… I felt his hard cock on my butt…  I just shake my booty on his… He stiffened….

I kissed his jaw na meron ng inahit na balbas… I chuckled as it tickle me…  I kissed him on the neck that made him moan… I kissed and sucked his neck… “Ohhh!  Fuck!  I missed you…  I missed you so much…” He said while pleasure and satisfaction is evident on his face…

Bumaba ako sa nipple niyang mamula-mula pa… I sucked both of it with my mouth at naramdaman ko sa pang-upo ko ang mas tumitigas niya pang kargada.  Gosh! This would wreck me! Sana hindi masira ang hiwa ko…

Ipapalit na sana niya ang pwesto namin but I didn’t let him.. Boys need to be submissive sometimes…

Hinila ko pababa ang boxer niya at halos mag bounce ang nasa walong pulgada niyang kargada. My eyes went wide at para bang natuyuan ang lalamunan ko…  Gosh!  This man is indeed big…  His veins are protruding on it… It’s clean and well shaved… I started to lick the top of it…

“Oh! Fuck!  Don’t… Baka labasan kaagad ako…” He said…  Meron ng mga puting likido ang lumalabas dito…  I tasted it, mas sumarap ang lasa nito kesa noong mga bata pa kami… Halos wala pa sa kalahit ang nasusubo ko ay hindi ko na kinakaya…  I swallow him slowly… It took me a lot of courage before I successfully entrusted his manhood on me…

“Ahhh!  That’s so good!  Fuck! Fuck!” He said at tiningnan niya naman ako sa mata habang nakahiga siya…  His eyes are intensified with lust and desire…

I look at him seductively… I move my hands up and down… Faster and faster… The room is filled with both of our moans…

“Ahhh!” on one last stroke in my mouth…  Ay nilabas niya ang likidong hindi ko alam kung ilang linggo niyang inimbak…  Halos umapaw na ’to mula sa bibig ko but I really tried my best to swallow it all..   But I failed.  Sobrang dami! Gosh!

Ngunit kung akala ko ay tapos na ay hindi pa pala…. Muli na namang tumayo ang alaga niya at maingat na inihiga niya ako sa kama…  We kissed again…  He’s full of desire to get me…  He kissed me on my ears,  he sucked my neck and taste it like a sweet candy…  “Ahhh…. That’s good.” I said lustfully…

The room starts to smell both of our natural scents and it boosts both our staminas…

He sucked my nipples, both left and right na para bang may lalabas na gatas dito…  I felt something on me wants to get out down there between my thighs… For sure he made hickeys…  Not just one but I guess five…

He made his way on my human made vagina…  I chuckled as he tickled me down there using his tongue… He’s great!  Really great!

“Omo!” I exclaimed dahil para bang lalabasan ako… Maya maya lang ay may naramdaman akong lumabas mula sa’kin… He licked it all…  He licked it sexily and deeply down there. Pinatigas niya ang dila niya at pinasok ’yon sa loob ko…

Matapos no’n ay dinilaan niya ang dalawang daliri niya at ipinasok sa loob ko…  “Ahhh!” I moaned as he entered his fingers…

Gosh! This thing is killing me… I felt a pang of pain but when my vagina used with his fingers ay parang sumasarap na sa pakiramdam ’to… “Ahhh!  Fuck!  Just do it now..” I exclaimed when the urge of wanting him to be inside me excites me….

“I love you…  I always do…” He said and kissed me passionately…

“Are you sure with this?” He asked…

“My goodness! Just thrust that on me.” I said…. Matapos no’n ay dahan-dahan niyang pinpasok na ang kargada sa loob ko… “Ahhh…” I exclaimed out of pain..  Para bang mawawarak ang gitna ko sa laki niya… Tangina!

“Tangina! Ang sikip fuck!” He said…

“Ouch!” daing ko ng hindi sinasadyang mapasok niya ang buo niya sa loob ko..

“Shhh.  Sorry ganda…  I’ll take you easy…  I’m sorry…  I love you..” he said at dahan dahan na siyang umulos…. Sa una ay mabagal lang pero ng tumagal na ay para na niyang binabarena ang loob ko…

The moans from both of us..  Filled the whole room… Untill we reach our Climax…  Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses naming ginawa sa iba’t ibang posisyon pero ang alam pagod na pagod ang katawan ko….

Pag mulat ko ng mata ay para akong binuhusan ng nagyeyelong tubIg… I felt the sore down there… My body is in pain… My heart is in pain and my mind is in chaos!

“No!” sigaw ko at hindi ko sinasadyang matulak ang lalaking katabi kong matulog ng nakahubad.. .

“Anong nangyare?” natarantang saad niya…

“You pervert!  Manyak ka!  Bastos ka!  Mapagsamantala ka!” I shouted on him at ibinato sa kaniya ang unan… Tinakip ko sa walang saplot na katawan ko ang kumot na may pinaghalong amoy naming dalawa ni Clint…

“What?  You started it first… Ikaw ang nauna!” saad niya na nakapagpaawang ng bibig ko..  No!  That’s nkt true…  Naramdaman ko naman ang sakit ng ulo ko at pilit inalala ang nangyari kagabi… Fuch!  Clint is right!

“Clint let’s just forget it!  Hindi mo ako mabubuntis kaya wala kang obligasyon sakin… Please..  Let’s just forget it…” I pleaded to him..   Puta!  I should have come to my senses..  Bigla akong nahiya sa mga pinagagawa ko kagabi… Tangina!  I felt guilty for all of this!  Naguguilty din ako dahil I’m being unfaithful to Chris.. .

“No… I know that you still love me… Kaye!  Satingin mo ba wala lang ang lahat ng ’to?  Ngayong may nangyari na sa’tin ulit..  I won’t let you go ever..  Kahit na patayin ko pa yung boyfriend mo gagawin ko maibalik ka lang…” saad niya.. I felt my face heated… 

“Lumabas ka na!” saad ko sa kaniya…

“No! I won’t, hindi ka pa makakakilos sa lagay mo na ’yan..  I’ll take care of you…  I won’t say about a thing anymore… Just let me take care of you…  For today…” He said while pleading… Tangina!  Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko..  Maiinis ba sa kaniya..  Maiinis ba sa sarili ko… O mangangamba dahil nagtaksil ako kay Chris.. .Tangina! Mas lalo lang sumasakit ang ulo ko…

But one thing for sure is, dapat kalimutan na lang naming dalawa kung ano ang namagitan sa’min! Tama!  We’re both under influenced of alcohol…  It’s not because of love , it’s because of alcohol.. . Nothing more and nothing less.

Nahihirapan man akong tumayo ay pinilit kong indahin ang sakit hanggang sa makapunta ako ng banyo… I immediately lock the door ng malampasan ko na si Clint.  Fudge! Should I really let him take care of me?  For today?  Tangina!  May point siya sa laki ba naman kasi ng kargada niya..  Kaye! Don’t think about it anymore… Arg!

Naramdaman ko ang hapdi ng gitna ko pagkalubog ko sa tubig… I need meds for this…  I need meds for my headache… Tangina!  Ang sakit ng ulo ko!  Ang sakit pa ng gitna ko! Arg! Why did I let him do it? Fuck you,  Kaye!

TB-29

Pagkalabas ko ng banyo ay wala na si Clint sa loob ng kwarto. Hays!  Mabuti naman!  I still couldn’t believe na may nangyari sa’min there is a part of me nanagpapasalamat at mero’n din namang parte ang natatakot at nangangamba…  I know,  I cheated… I cheated on Chris…

Napansin ko ang tubig at mga gamot sa mesa ko na nakahanda na..  Gosh! I need this..  Kaagad ko na mang ininom ’yon at nabawasan ang sakit ng katawan ko…  Para akong binugbog kahit wala na mang mga pasa… Matapos kong magbihis ng short at plain shirt ay naglagay lang ako ng make-up para matago ang mga hickeys na nasa leeg ko…  Fudge! Nakakaasar!

Mukhang hindi ko kakayaning mag trabaho ngayong araw ah..  I felt drained and I need more sleep… Pagkalabas ko ng kwarto ay nakita ko si Clint na walang saplot pang itaas at tanging apron lang ang nagtatakip sa harap ng katawan nito…  Gosh!  He’s a goddess! His body is!

Kung hindi kaya kami nagkahiwalay ay kasal na kaya kami?  Kung hindi kaya kami pinaglaruan ng tadhana ay kami pa din kaya?  No sense for thinking those things… Kaye.. .

“Let’s eat…” naagaw lang ang atensiyon ko sa sinabi niya… Inayos niya ang upuan na uupuan ko…  Hindi ko siya matingnan sa mata… I know I’m in fault for what had happened between us…

“Clint…  Let’s just forg-.. “ hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko ng putulin niya ang sinasabi ko…

“Let’s talk about it later.. . Let’s eat first..  Kailangan mo ng lakas para Nakarecover kaagad at magawa ulit natin ’yon este makapagtrabaho ka na ulit…” saad niya at sinamaan ko naman siya ng tingin.. .

He cooked eggs,  fried rice,  bacon. Hotdogs at marami pang iba… Gosh!  Mas marami pa siyang alam na lutuin! Ang swerte ng mapapangasawa niya!  Fudge!  Bakit may kumirot sa puso ko?  Is it knowing na hindi na kami pwede? Gosh!

Hindi ko na malayan na masigla na akong kumakain sa hapag at halos mamula ako ng nakatitig lang sa akin si Clint…

“You should be my wife, hindi ka marunong magluto, marunong ako…” saad niya na nakapagpabulunan sa’kin nataranta naman siya at inabot ang isang basong tubig..

“What are you saying?” I asked but he just shrugged his shoulders…

“I won’t repeat myself, ganda…” He said at sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin….

Matapos kumain ay iniligpit niya ang mga pinagkainan namin at nakamasid lang ako sa kaniya… He really looks handsome while doing those…. He’s like flexing his muscles kahit na hindi naman…

“Clint… We should just forget about this..  May boyfriend ako…” saad ko sa kaniya pag kabalik niya…

“Masakit pa ba ang katawan mo?  Kailangan mo pa ba ng gamot?” pag-iwas niya sa usapan… Na nakapag pa inis lang sakin…

“Pwede ba Clint? Umayos ka naman…  You know it!  May kaniya-kaniyang buhay na tayo…  Pagkakamali lang yung kagabi!” sigaw ko sa kaniya  pero para bang nasaktan din ako sa isipan na ‘Pagkakamali’ lang ang nangyari sa akin….

“Pagkakamali? Do you think that was just a mistake?  Kaye!  Wake up!  I know you still love me and I still do…” seryosong saad niya… His eyes, it’s telling the truth….

“Let’s try to make things right… Kaye… Please? I know you still love me…” He said….  And I guess he’s right… But I don’t want to make the same mistake again….

“No Clint… Let’s just be civil…” I said at iniling pa ang ulo ko…

“Kaye…  Look… Look in my eyes and tell me that you don’t love me anymore? Please look at me Kaye? And tell it straight to my face…” saad niya…  Natigagal naman ako ng dahil sa sinabi niya…  Can I tell na hindi ko na siya mahal? Can I tell it straight to his face?

“I-i don’t l-love you anymore..” pero kaagad akong nag-iwas ng tingin… Tumayo siya sa kinauupuan niya at pumunta sa haparan ko…

“Tell me… Tell me na hindi mo na ako mahal at hindi na ako magpapakita pa sayo kailan man…  Hindi na kita kukulitin…  Hindi na kita guguluhin… Please…” saad niya at marahang inangat ang baba ko… His eyes looks so sad and full of expectation.

Tinaggal ko ang kamay niya at tumingin sa ibang bahagi ng penthouse…

“Oo! Puta!  Mahal pa kita! B-but…” Hindi ko na naituloy ang sasabihin ko ng madikit ang malambot at mapupula niyang labi sa’kin… He look to my eyes with sincerity and love… He deepen the kiss at para bang konti na lang ay mawawalan na ako ng hininga… Then a realization hit me..

Kaagad ko siyang natulak at kumawala sa halikan namin…  Iniling ko pa ang ulo ko…

“Clint…  This.. This is not right… It’s just so wrong…  May Boyfriend ako…  May fiancé ka… It’s very wrong Clint..” I said…. At hindi ko magawang tumingin sa kaniya pero masuyong halik muli ang naramdaman ko sa labi ko at ipinaharap niya ako sa kaniya…

“No… Baby… This is not wrong…  Dahil in the First place ay tayo na ang nagmamahalan…  just give me some time at aayusin ko ang sa’kin… Understood?” masuyong saad niya na para bang hinihipnotismo ako…  Napatango naman ako sa tinuran niya..  Am I doing the right thing?

“Paano ang Daddy mo? He tried to kill our Family…” I said to him….

“I’m working on it now also… Konting oras lang… Kaye… Konti na lang…” saad niya…

“Thank you… This time.. . Let’s make things right… Okay? Maayos natin ’to ganda…” saad niya… At masuyong yakap ang ginawad niya sa’kin… To tell you honestly I felt safe coming back to his arms…  But some things just feel so wrong…  Pero gaya nga ng sinasabi nila may mga bawal na makapagbibigay sa atin ng saya… But still there are unanswered questions in my mind…

“Ganda…  Believe on me?  Okay?  Maayos natin ’to… Aayusin natin ang lahat… Don’t bother yourself anymore…” saad niya at hinalikan muli ang mga labi ko…  He deepen his kisses hanggang sa mainit na halikan na ang nangyari sa amin…  Namalayan ko na lang ang sarili kong wala ng saplot sa loob ng kwarto ko muli….

Will we really be able to fix things? Will we? Paano kung sa umpisa pa lang ay mali na…  I know… Marupok ako!  But what should I do?  When you love someone, you will want him in every ways you can… And I know…  I still love this man…  I really do…

Nagising ako ng bandang alas-tres ng hapon “Where are you going?” I asked Clint dahil nagmamadali itong magbihis… 

Matapos niyang magbihis ay lumapit ito sa’kin at masuyong halik ang binigay sa’kin…

“Something came up… I’ll be back later at night…  Para sabay na din tayong umuwi bukad…  If possible..” saad niya…

“I’m gonna go na…  Nagluto ako ng lunch at initin mo na lang sa oven mamaya… Bye..  Ganda..” saad niya at iniwan na ako sa loob ng kwarto…. What’s the matter with him? Where is he going?

May be something came up on his company… Dahil nakakaramdam pa ako ng antok ay natulog muna ako… Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras ako muling nakatulog pero nagising ako sa doorbell mula sa labas ng penthouse. I guess it’s Clint… I just wore my robe dahil panty at bra lang ang suot ko…

Pagkabukas ko ng pinto ay parang binuhusan ako ng nagyeyelong tubig mula sa Antarctica… Nagising lang ako ng yakapin niya ako ng mahigpit…  He kissed me…  He kissed me passionately…. Nakabukas pa ang pintuan at nakita ko kung paano lumaki ang mga mata ni Clint sa naabutan… He’s just looking om the person who’s kissing me right now…

Ako na ang humiwalay sa halikan namin.. Gosh! Si Clint ay nasa likod niya lang at puno ng iba’t ibang emosyon ang kaniyang mukha…

“I missed you… Babe…” saad ni Christopher at nilapit pa ang katawan ko sa katawan niya….

“Mukhang na surpirse ka… Pumasok muna tayo sa loob…” saad niya at nakita ko kung paano nalungkot at puno ng selos ang mukha ni Clint… Gosh!

“O-oo… Hindi ko inexpect ang pagpunta mo…  Chris…” I said to him.

“Kakagising mo lang ba?” He asked while his hand is on my waist… Naiilang man ay hinayaan ko na lang… Mabuti na lang ay walang bakas ni Clint at ng kahapon ang buong paligid…

“O-oo eh… Magpapalit lang muna ako ng damit..” I said at mabilis na iniwan siya sa sala….. But before I could close the door of my room ay sinabi niyang magdidinner kami sa labas… Gosh! I don’t know what to do…  Nakokonseniya ako… I felt I’m cheating…  Gosh!

I hurriedly took a shower and scanned the clothes I brought. I decided to wear a casual wear.  I wore a beige, sleeveless dress, it was figure hugging. It emphatized my long legs and white skin. I wore a big black belt that further enhance her slim waist. After putting a minimal amout of make up,  I decided to text Clint… I’ve read his messages and missed calls…  But I just decided to reply…

‘Sorry. We’re eating outside. It’s Christopher.’ I texted him…

Gosh! The whole thing makes me nervous and at the same time scared… It will be really absurd kung biglaan na lang akong makikipaghiwalay kay Chris and I can’t take it also…  He has a special space inside my heart… I can’t hurt him that easily..   He’s a kind and a good person but he doesn’t deserve me… I don’t deserve him…

“Hey.. I’m ready…” saad ko kay Christopher ng makalabas ako ng kwarto. He’s just comfortably sitting on my couch at tumayo na siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko…

“I brought a car…” Saad niya…

“Okay…” I said at lumbas na kami pagkalabas ko ay nasa kotse niya si Clint… Why is he not going anywhere? Gosh!  Eto na nga ba ang sinasabi ko eh. Will he follow us?  Gosh! This man!

Inalalayan ako ni Chris ng makapasok sa kotse niya… If looks can kill, Christopher will be dead by now…  But can’t make a move…  Chris is my official….

Nang pinaandar na ni Chris ang kotse niya ay siya ding pag-andar ng sasakyan ni Clint.. Gosh!  Clint will follow us….

It took us thirty minutes bago kami makarating sa restaurant na gustong kainan ni Chris…  It’s a buffet restaurant…

“Let’s go babe…” Saad niya pagkabukas ng pinto ng sasakyan…  Nakapulupot ang kamay niya sa bewang ko…  At biglang may sumipa ng basurahan sa likod namin kaya bumitiw si Chris sa akin at tiningnan namin.. .

Madilim man ngunit alam kong si Clint ’yon!  Gosh!  What is he doing?

“Let’s go… Baka lasing lang ’yon…” saad niya at ibinalik ulit ang pagkakakapit niya sa bewang ko…

“Tangina talaga!” sigaw ni Clint… Pero nasa likod na parte siya kaya hindi nakikita ang mukha niya ni Christopher…

Pagkapasok namin sa restaurant ay agad siyang nag-order ng mga pagkain.. Halos mapuno ang buong mesa namin….

Nang pumasok si Clint sa restaurant ay nagpaalam ako kay Christopher na pupunta ng banyo…

“I’ll just go on the comfort room…” I said to Christopher…  He insist to walk me in but I refused…

Pagkapasok ko ay mabuti na lang ay sumunod din si Clint he look worn out…

“What are you doing? Dapat hindi ka na sumunod pa sa’min… He’s Chris my Boyfriend..” saad ko sa kaniya…  He looks like any moment ay mag-aamok na siya…

“Please… Clint, just calm yourself..” I said to him and caressed his face…

“I’m just so jealous!” He said at pinipigilan na mapalakas ang boses niya…

“I know… But please… Chris is a good person… Let’s take it easy..  Okay?  Chris doesn’t deserve to be hurt…  Clint… I hope that you will understand… We talked about it right? To fix things first… Just trust me… I did expected him to be here also…” I said to him… He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Untill when?” He asked…

“Just give me weeks atleast… He came all the way from states.. Clint.. . I hope that you will understand… This is actually Cheating… Clint..  You know it…” saad ko sa kaniya at para namang bumalatay ang guilt at lungkot sa mga mata niya.

“I’ll wait…” He said at nilisan na ang lugar… just hang in there… Clint… Matapos ng pag-uusap namin ay bumalik na ako kung nasaan si Chris…

“Let’s eat, babe…” He said at nilagyan na ng pagkain ang pinggan ko… Gosh! I hope I won’t hurt him that much… Chris is a good person… He really is.

TB-30

It’s been a week since me and Clint rekindle our relationship but I don’t have enough courage to tell Chris yet… I know what consequence might happen when I broke up with him with petty reasons.. I felt guilty, I really do… I once one a victim of cheating… That’s why…

Clint and I, decided to distance ourselves first with each other to fix everything we need to fix…  And today,  I’m planning to broke up with Chris…  I don’t deserve him,  I just don’t…. I just wish that things will went well…

Nasa office ako ngayon sa Manila… Tatlong araw na simula ng bumalik ako dito kasama si Chris… He will be staying here for a month… And that makes me nervous… Really…

“Ikaw!” nagulat naman ako sa lakas ng sigaw ng babae na halos mag eskandalo na sa loob ng office ko…

“Sorry Ma’am,  nagpumilit po siyang pumasok…” saad ni Mrs. Cathy..  Sinenyasan ko naman siya na tumawag ng security…

“Why are you-…” Hindi ko natuloy ang sasabihin ko ng sampalin niya ako… Tangina!  Ang lakas ng loob…

Sasampalin niya pa sana ako ngunit nahawakan ko na ang kamay niya at ginantihan ko naman siya ng sampal.. .

Sasabunutan niya na dapat ako pero dumating na ang mga guards halos nagpumiglas pa siya sa mga ’yon….

“Walang hiya kang bakla ka! Ikaw ang rason kung bakit na-cancel ang engagement namin ni Clint… You made this…  Right? You are bitch!” sigaw niya habang kinakaladkad palabas…

Napahilot na lang ako sa sentido ng marinig ang sinabi niya… I didn’t thought Clint will cancel their engagement this early…

“Ma’am are you okay?” tanong sa’kin ni Mrs. Cathy sinenyasan ko lang siya na okay na ako at lumabas na siya.. .

I instantly dialed Clint… Gosh!  Sana lang ay walang gawing masama ang babaeng ’yon…

“The number you have dialed is out of coverage area…”

Napahilamos na lang ako ng mukha… Ba’t hindi sinabi sa’kin ni Clint? He should have told me first bago siya gumawa ng mga desisyon but I know he’s persistent….

Napatigil naman ako sa pag-iisip ng biglang tumawag si Bell…

“Kaye…  Open the TV now…” Hysterical na sabi niya…

“Why?” I asked him..

“Just open it…” saad niya at Sinununod ko n lang siya…

Pagkabukas ko ng Television ay halos mapatakip ako ng bunganga…  Nagkakagulo ngayon sa Company nila Clint at ipinapakita na ngayon ang papa niya na lumalabas ng kompanya nila…  Nakaposas ang mga kamay nito… Gosh!  What’s happening?

“Dahil sa patong-patong na kaso ni Simoun Silverio pag-katapos niyang malipat ang pamamahala sa anak niya na si Clint Montenegro ay kinasuhan ’to mismo ng kaniyang anak…” saad ng reporter.. Napatakip na lang ako ng bibig… No!  This is indewd what he’s doing for almost a week… My goodness the eagerness of that man..

He’s really doing everything… Should I do my part too? I think I should too. But I’m afraid..  I really do… There are thoughts na pumapasok sa isip ko… Who would have thought that a transgender like me can cheat?  Am I really cheating? Yes, of course! But things are really difficult…

Chris is a nice guy….  But I know in my heart that I still love Clint… Tama ba?  Tama ba napiliin ko ang puso ko kesa sa taong laging nandiyan para sa’kin… Hindi ko na alam…  I know Clint is really working hard to make things right…  I know he can do it…  He’s starting to do it….

I know… I’m selfish para lokohin si Chris… Pero yung feeling ko na hindi niya ako deserve dahil hindi siya yung laman ng puso ko…  It’s just so painful… It really is..

Kinakabahan ako ngayon… I haven’t abled to talk to Clint… I turned off my phone for a mission I need to do tonight… I’m now standing sa lugar kung saan makikipaghiwalay na ako kay Chris… I know…  I’m selfish…  I’m choosing Clint… Alam ko na may kasalanan din ako sa lahat ng mga nangyayaring ’to…. But I know Clint and I are just victims too…  We’re played by the people around us…

It’s like a garden restaurant… There’s only one table sa pakigid ng mga ilaw at lanterns sa buong paligid…  The place is so romantic… But what I’m feeling is the exact opposite… I’m afraid…. I’m afraid that I might hurt Chris badly…

Nakatalikod ngayon si Chris mula sa kinatatayuan ko… He’s wearing a suit dahil kagagaling niya lang din sa trabaho… Ng humarap siya ay kaagad siyang ngumiti sakin at tumayo…  He kissed me on my lips and hugged me bago niya ako pinaupo… Gosh!  How can I do it? It really breaks my heart too…  But I know what I’m feeling towards him is a love for a… Friend… That’s it….

“Why you look sad?” tanong niya sa’kin ng mapansin ata ang lungkot sa mga mata ko…  But I smiled…  I tried to smile wholeheartedly… He deserve it afterall…

“Chris…” panimula ko…  At nagtataka naman siyang tumingin sa’kin….

“I want to tell you something…” I said to him… He looks confused and worried…  He hold my both hands tight…

“Ayaw mo bang kumain muna? Kumain na muna tayo… “ He asked at wala na din akong nagawa…  We talked casually pero yung kaba sa dibdib ko ay hindi pa din nawawala… We talked about different things while eating pero halata ang pag-iwas niya sa topic na gusto kong ibaba…

Natapos kaming kumain at hinatid niya ako sa tapat ng Mansion…

“Now… Tell me…” He asked sweetly…

“Chris… Remember Clint?” I asked… At bumalatay sa mukha niya ang sakit at lungkot ng pagkasabi ko pa lang sa pangalan ni Clint…

“Chris… I’m sorry…. You don’t deserve me….” I said at hindi ko na mapigilan na may luhang pumatak sa mga mata ko…

“Chris I’m sorry… I really do… Nahihiya ako sayo…. Nahihiya ako dahil hindi mo ko deserve… Feeling ko nga…  Ang kapal ng mukha ko…  I’m just a transgen-…” hindi ko na naituloy ang sasabihin ko ng ilagay niya ang isang daliri sa bibig ko…

“Shhh…  Kahit na ano o sino ka… Mahal kita…. Are you back together?” nagulat naman ako sa naging tanong niya…  Kahit kita pa din ang lungkot sa mga mata niya ay nagawa niya pa din akong bigyan ng ngiti… Ngiting tunay at totoo.

I nodded shyly on him….  “Sorry Chris…. sorry talaga… I’m such a bitch… I’m sorry…” naluluhang saad ko…  Napatingin naman ako ng marinig ko ang tawa niya… Gosh!  Anong karapatan ko para saktan siya? He’s a good man! He deserve someone better…

“No need to say sorry…  But always remember… I’m here…  I’m always here…  Okay?  Pag sinaktan ka ulit ng gagong ’yon…  Ako na ang bubugbog sa kaniya… Napansin ko na ang pagbabago mo since last time we met…  You really looks happy and the burden you have before were gone… I know that he is the one who can make you happy…  That lucky guy, paiyakin ka lang niya… Suntukan na lang talaga kami… “ seryosong na saad niya and then he chuckled… Kahit na maluha-luha na ako ay napatawa na din ako….

“Can I kiss and hug you for the last time?” He asked… Pero hindi ko na siya hinayaan pang lumapit sa’kin…  Binigyan ko siya ng mahigpit na yakap… I kissed him…  I kissed him for the last time… “Thank you…” He said between our kisses… Gosh!  This man really deserve a better woman… He’s so precious… And now… I’m hopong that things between Me and Clint will be fine and better…

Matapos kong maligo at magbihis ay kaagad kong tinignan ang Cellphone ko halos 20 missed calls ang galing kay Clint… And texts that asks me kung nasaan ako… I replied on him…  I tried to call him but he didn’t answer anymore…  What happened? Tulog na kaya siya? I tried to think positive but I guess pagod lang siya… I think he is..

As the sun rays enveloped the whole room…  A smile attached on my lips…  I felt my heart lighten… I feel reborn and recharged… I look on my phone but to my disappointment wala man lang tawag o text mula kay Clint… I texted him and tried to call him again pero wala pa ding sumasagot.  What happened to him?

Pagkapasok ko ng banyo ay iniisip ko pa din kung bakit hindi ko pa din ma-contact si Clint… May be marami lang siyang ginagawa na mga importanteng bagay…. Hanngang sa makapasok ako ng office ay wala pa din akong nareceive na call o text mula kay Clint…

Kahit na busy ako ay hindi ko pa din kinakalimutang i-check ang phone ko… Tinitingnan ko ’to palagi dahil umaasa ako na magtetext o magrereply na si Clint… But he didn’t…

Naputol lamang ang pag-iisip ko ng tumunog ang intercom ng opisina ko…

“Ma’am may tawag po mula sa office na located po sa Aklan…” Saad ni Mrs. Cathy..

“Connect them with me…” I said at na-connect niya na nga ang tawag sa’kin…

“Ma’am this is Engr. Medina.  There is something urgent problem that you need to see po at the moment… Can you come?” tanong sa akin ni Engr. Medina…

“I’ll go there…” saad ko…. Dahil sa hindi pa din ako nirereplyan o tinatawagan ni Clint ay hindi ko na alam ang dapat kung gawin…  What if may nangyari sa kaniya? Gosh!  This whole thing blows my mind…

Kung kailan naman naayos na namin ni Chris ang sa amin saka ko naman siya hindi mahagilap…. Speaking of Chris, umuwi na pabalik ng States kanina si Chris..  He will be back on Bell’s wedding…

“Mrs.  Cathy prepare the private plane now…” I said to my secretary….

Lulan na ako ngayon ng private plane ko…. Hindi ko alam kung ilang araw muli ako magse-stay doon pero sana ay maagang matapos ang problema na kailangang ayusin dahil gusto ko ng makausap si Clint…

I tried to contact our friends kung may alam ba sila kung nasaan si Clint ay hindi daw nila alam… Fudge!  Ayaw ko mang gumawa ng mga konklusyon na may nangyaring masama sa kaniya ay hindi ko na din maiwasan…. Fuck!  What if something bad happened to him?

Arg!  I’ll just find him after this….

It took us almost three hours to get on the Hotel and resort na pinapatayo ng company namin…. Kaagad kong kinausap ang mga head at sama-sama kaming nag-isip ng mga solusyon sa problemang biglang umusbong sa pagpapatayo ng Hotel…  I only have a month to finish everything dahil before the month of December ay dapat tapos na ang lahat…

But I think I should stay here for two or three days pa… To settle things here…. Hindi naman maiiwasan ang problemang ’to but I’m starting to feel worried about Clint… What if dahil sa ginawa niya sa papa niya ay ginantihan siya no’n? But I shouldn’t think like that…  May be he’s just really busy…  Fuxk!  He makes me worry! That man!

Dalawang araw na simula ng pumunta ako sa Aklan…  I haven’t received anything yet from Clint. And I’m sick worried… I always tell to my friends na if ever may balita sila tungkol sa kaniya ay sabihin kaagad sa’kin. I don’t know what should I feel anymore..  Maiinis ba ako sa kaniya, mag-aalala o kung ano pa man pero lamang pa din ang kaba na baka may masamang mangyari sa kaniya…

Nag-iikot ako sa buong Hotel ng biglang tumawag si Bell sa phone ko… And para ba akong kinabahan ng wala namang dahilan…

Pagkasagot ko no’n ay bigla akong kinabahan dahil sa humahangos na boses ni Bell ang narinig ko….

“Kaye…. Wag kang mabibigla…” kinakabahang saad niya… Kaya kinabahan na din ako… Sinong hindi kakabahan sa tono ng pagsasalita niya?

“Sto the bullshit Bell!  Spill it!” kinakabahang saad ko na…. My hands starts to tremple kahit hindi ko pa alam ang sasabihin niya…

“Si Clint…” saad niya pero hindi ko na maintindiihan ang sarili ko dahil parang naghihina ako…

“W-what happened to Clint?” natatarantang saad ko…. What happened? Puta!

“He got in a car accident… He’s unconscious…” saad niya na para bang nagpaguho ng mundo ko…  Hindi ko inaasahan ang pagdaloy ng mga luha mula sa aking mga mata at para bang nawalan ako ng lakas…  Kaagad naman akong Inalalayan ni Mrs. Cathy at ng iba pa naming kasama…

Nabitawan ko ang cellphone ko….

“P-prepare the plane…. Now! Didn’t you heard me?  Prepare the plane! Now!” histerikal na sigaw ko…. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, puno ng takot at pangamba ang puso ko… Bakit?  Bakit nangyayari sa’min ’to?  Bakit kung kailan maayos na namin ang relasyon namin saka naman may mga bagay na ganito… Ganito ba ka ayaw sa’min ng tadhana? Ganito ba ako kabawal maging masaya at magmahal?

Kung kailan na ayos ko na ang lahat.. . Saka naman nangyari ang bagay na ’to.. ‘Lord…. Please lang po….  Just spare Clint on me… He’s my life…  He really is…’

Kahit na nagkahiwalay kami ng pitong taon itangi ko man o hindi ay siya pa din ang laman ng puso ko…. That man is my life… He really is…  Kaya kahit magmukha na akong tanga sa mata ng iba ay gagawin ko pa din para sa kaniya… I wiped the tears that are freely flowing from my eyes… I don’t want to think negatively… I wanted to be strong but I just can’t…. Nakakasawa ng mag matapang…

Hindi pa ba sapat ang mga problemang kinaharap namin noon?  Hindi pa ba ’yon sapat? We are played by the people around us… We are played para mapaghiwalay…  Pinagkaisahan kami…  Pati ba naman ang tadhana na kisali pa… Tangina lang!

…..

I’ve read the prologue of this story once again. I did some revisions on it.  If you want to take a look on it, just go back on the first part. Thank you,  Gal! ❤❤❤

TB-31

Halos paliparin ko na ang kotse na sinasakyan ko. Napamura pa ako ng medyo nag-traffic pa… Ilang minuto pa lang pagkababa ko ng eroplano ay kaagad akong pumunta sa sasakyan na pinahanda ko…  I need to calm..  I know but Fuck!  I Just can’t! Clint is on the Hospital… Ano ’yon?  Gano’n na lang ’yon? Tangina! Wala na akong pake kung ano ang itsura ko. Ang importante ay mapuntahan ko siya.

Pagkaapak ko sa Hospital kung nasaan siya ay kaagad akong nagtungo sa Front Desk ng Hospital…

“Clint Montenegro…” saad ko…. Tangina!  Ang bagal!

“Pakibilisan pwede?” saad ko na may halo ng inis…

“Ms. Kaano-ano ba kayo ng pasiyente? Bawa-” hindi niya na natuloy ang sasabihin niya ng pinutol ko siya..

“Gusto mo bang ipasara ko ’tong Hospital na ’to?” tanong ko at nataranta naman siya..  I know!  I’m a badass wala na akong maisip na paraan..  I felt stressed… Puta!

Matapos niyang ibigay ang impormasyon kung nasaan si Clint… Ay kaagad kong tinungo ’yon… Medyo napilayan pa ang paa ko ng maputol ang takong ko sa kakatakbo..  Gosh! Bahala na…

Pag-dating ko sa pintuan ng Intesive Care Unit kung nasaan si Clint ay halos mapatakip na ako ng bibig dahil sa lagay niya. May benda ang ulo niya at merong mga tubo na naka konekta sa katawan niya.  Naglandas ang mga luha sa aking mga mata..   He’s laying on the bed,  unconsciously… Why?  Bakit nangyari ’to? Para bang nakita ko ulit ang parehas na pangyayari noong una ay ang aking mama ngayon naman si Clint? Aba puta!

Nagulat naman ako ng lapitan ako ng mama ni Clint at biglang niya na lamang akong sinampal… Halata ang iba’t ibang emosyon sa mata niya..  Ngunit mas nangingibabaw ang galit at sakit sa mga mata niya…

“Anong ginagawa mo dito?” nagtitimping saad niya ngunit mababakas dito ang galit at sakit ng loob niya.. Why?  Bakit parang kasalanan ko? Bakit parang sa’kin siya galit?

“Anong ginagawa mo dito?” sigaw ni tita Roselyn sa’kin… Hindi ko man alam kung bakit siya nagagalit sakin ay pilit ko pa din siyang iniintindi..  Tama.. Kailangan ko siyang intindihin…

“T-tita…” saad ko ngunit bago ko pa matapos ang sasabihin ko ay pinutol niya na ako…

“T-tita? Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Matapos mong saktan ang anak ko?  Ha?  Magpapakita ka dito? Mahiya ka naman! Bakit? Ba’t mo ginawa ’yon sa kaniya… Minahal ka lang naman ng anak ko…. “ saad niya habang umiiyak akmang hahawakan ko siya ng tampalin niya ang kamay ko….

“Tita.. . Huminahon po kayo… Hindi ko po alam ang sinasabi niyo…” magalan na saad ko sa kaniya…. Kahit na puno ng luha ang aking mga mata ay pilit ko pa ding pinapatatag ang loob ko…

Mapait siyang tumawa sa’kin…. “Hindi alam? Nakakahiya ka! Anong karapatan mo para saktan ang anak ko ng gano’n? ’Di ba ipinaliwanag na niya sayo?  Wala siyang kasalanan! Kaye!  Wala! Biktima lang ang anak ko! Tangina! Dapat ako na lang… Dapat ako na lang.. Kaye… Dapat sa’kin na lang na ina niya ibinigay yung galit mo!  Bakit sa kaniya pa? Naghirap na siya Kaye!  Walang araw na hindi iyan umiyak at uminom noong maghiwalay kayo!  Pero bakit naman gano’n Kaye? Bakit Kailangan mo pa siyang paasahin?  Dapat ako na lang ang ginantihan mo….” naiiyak na saad niya….

Hindi ko man siya maintindihan ay inintindi ko na lang.. Puno na ng luha ang mga mata ko at mata ng mama ni Clint… Pero bakit?  Bakit parang kasalanan ko…

“T-tita hindi ko po talaga kayo maintindihan…” saad ko habang umiiyak…

“Sana Kaye.. . Sinabi mo sa kaniya habang maaga pa…  Sana sinabi mo na hindi na siya yung mahal mo…  Ayaw ko sanang makialam eh..  Pero sobra na…  Tama na… Naawa na ako sa anak ko… Sobra na yung sakit na binigay mo…  Bakit?  Akala mo ba ikaw lang ang nasaktan? Hindi Kaye! Dahil durog na durog ang anak ko…  Ano ba ang hindi mo maintindihan? Ako nga!  Ako nga ang my kasalan kung bakit kayo naghiwalay! Ako nga!  Hindi mo ba naiintindihan? Aba!  Iha! Umalis ka na!  Baka hindi ko pa mapigilan at makalimutan ko na naging parte ka ng buhay namin…  Umalis ka na…” saad niya habang lumuluha but I just stood there…

“Please lang… Nagmamakaawa ako sayo…  Kaye!  Umalis ka na! Umalis ka na!” saad niya at hinahampas niya ng mahina ang balikat ko but I just stood there… I just stood there while crying….

Ano na ’to?  Kaya nga ako nandito eh..  Para kay Clint… Bakit naman ganito?  Bakit parang kasalanan ko…

“Hindi ka ba aalis? Sige, sasabihin ko sayo kung bakit ka dapat umalis na… Umuwi lang naman ang anak ko isang gabi sa bahay namin! Umiiyak! Iyak siya ng iyak… Kaye!  Alam mo kung dahil kanino? Dahil sayo! Dahil sayo lang naman! Ikaw lang ang bukang bibig niya habang nakayakap sa’kin! Ikaw lang! Yung akala niya maayos na kayo pero masaya ka pa lang nakikipaghalikan sa iba…. Dalawang araw… Iha…  Dalawang araw lang naman siyang nagpalunod sa araw dahil sayo! Alam mo kung saan siya papunta habang sakay ng kotse niya?  Sayo! Sayo lang naman!” saad niya at hindi niya na maiwasan pang mapaluhod sa sahig habang umiiyak…

Kahalikan?  Puta! Nakita niya ba ’yon?  Nakita niya ba ang paghalik sa akin ni Chris?  But that was just a goodbye!  Tangina lang!

“Ma… Ma..” napatingin naman ako kay Kiko na kakarating lang… At itinayo ang mama niya mula sa upuan…

“Ate… Umalis ka muna… Please…  Ate… Sige na… Baka atakihin si mama sa puso.. Ate…” puno ng pagmamakaawa ni Kiko sa’kin…

“H-hindi mo na makikita ang anak ko!  Ipinapangako ko iyan! Hindi mo na siya ulit masasaktan! Sawang-sawa na akong makita ang anak kong umiiyak ng dahil lang sayo! Puta!  Sayo pa talaga?  Sayo pa na isang transgender?” nangagalaiti na saad ni tita Rose..

Parang winawasak ang puso ko… Alam kong nagalit sila sa’kin… Tatanggapin ko ’yon…  Pero bakit?  Bakit hindi niya ako hinintay magpaliwanag… Ba’t naman gano’n…

“Sorry po…  Hindi po ako aalis… Pasensiya na po… Sorry po talaga…” Umiiyak na saad ko…  Kung kinakailangan kong lumuhod ay gagawin ko hayaan lang nila akong manatili dito…

Dahan-dahan akong lumuhod sa harap nila ..

“Sorry po…  Pero Hihintayin ko pong gumising si Clint…” umiiyak na saad ko…

“What are you doing here? Tangina mo ka! Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Mapapatay kitang babae ka…” nagulat ako sa sigaw ni Aika pag kakita niya sa akin at kaagad na sinugod ako…  Hinawakan niya ang buhok ko at iwinasiwas but I am more stronger… Kung sila tita ay okay lang pero siya. Nagkakamali siya..  Hinawakan ko din ang buhok niya at sinabutan din siya…

Pumagitna si Kiko pero natulak lang siya sa pwersa naming dalawa… Nararamdaman ko ang pagbakat ng mga kalmot ni Aika sa’kin pero binabalik ko lang ’yon sa kaniya ng doble!  Tangina! Hindi ako magpapatalo…  Isang sampal at tadyak sa tiyan ang binigay ko sa kaniya kaya natumba siya… Akmang tatayo pa siya ng daganan ko siya at sampalin siya ng Paulit-ulit hanggang sa mamanhid na ang kamay ko..

“TANG. INA. MO.  KA! Akala mo hindi kita papatulan! Tangina mo!” sigaw ko sa kaniya at patuloy pa din ang pagsampal ko sa kaniya…  Natigil lamang ako ng dumating na sina Bell kasama ang mga kaibigan namin kasabay nila ang pagdating ng security.

“What happened?” tanong niya sa’kin but I just break down..  I cried habang mahigpit na niyayakap ko siya… I cried on her shoulders… Hindi ko na alam ang nangyari kay Aika…  But one thing for sure…  Hindi ako nagpatalo sa kaniya… Natagil lamang ako sa pag-iyak ng magkaroon ng emergency sa loob ng kwarto ni Clint….

Hinayaan na ako ni tita Roselyn pero Ramdam ko pa din ang galit niya sa akin…  I know.. It’s his mother afterall…  I know what she’s going through… I understand her… I really do… Mas lalo pang naiyak ang mama ni Clint ng magkaroon ng emergency sa loob at bigla na lang siyang nahimatay…  Nataranta naman ang lahat at pinatignan din siya sa doctor…

Dinala muli si Clint sa Operating Room ng Hospital dahil nagkaroon na naman ng pagdurugo sa ulo niya…  Puta!   I just can’t, I really can’t… Pero para bang sumakit din ang ulo ko…  Dahil sa pagod,  dahil sa pagsabunot ni Aika…  Hindi ko alam but I suddenly felt down and lost… Para bang gusto ng bumigay ng puso at utak ko sa mga nangyayari….

Hindi ko na alam ang sumunod ng nangyari ng magdilim ang paligid ko…  Ang sigawan ng mga kaibigan ko ang huli kong narinig bago ako tuluyang ginapo ng dilim…

Pagkagising ko ay nasilayan ko ang kwarto na pinaglalagyan sa’kin. Nasa isa sa mga kwarto ako ng Hospital… I look on Bell,  who’s beside me…

“What happened?”  I asked pero parang namamalat ang boses ko…  Before she could even answer ay binigyan niya ako ng tubig…

“Nawalan ka ng malay Kaye…  Ano ba kasing nangyari sa inyo ni Aika at bakit nag pang-abot kayo?” She asked…  Isinalaysay ko sa kaniya ang nangyari sa akin dalawang araw na hanggang sa nangyari kanina…  I even cried habang kinekwento ko sa kaniya ang mga nangyari… I just can’t believe na hindi man lang ako pinagbigyan ni Clint na magpaliwanag… Ayon na eh…  Okay na eh…

Madilim na ang langit ng makalabad ako ng Hospital. Ayaw ko man umuwi sa bahay ay pinilit nila ako… Hinatid ako ni Nathan sa bahay para doon magpahinga at matulog…  Medyo gabi na din at napagpasiyahan kong bumalik na lang bukas sa Hospital… I know..  I look vulnerable right now… I look miserable. I look hurt and broken… But I need to be strong…

Batid ko ang pag-aalala kay Papa pagdating ko ay nasa sala siy at inaantay ako… Kaagad akong lumuhod sa harap ng kunauupuan ni papa at yumakap sa mga paa niya…

“H-hndi ko alam ang gagawin ko pa…  What if mawala din siya tulad ng mama? Pa hindi ko po kaya…. Nasasaktan din po ako pa pero bakit gano’n? Bakit parang kasalanan ko pa?  Nagmahal lang naman po ako…. Pero bakit?  Bakit kailangan naming danasin ’to?” umiiyak na saad ko at halos humagulgol na ako sa harapan ng papa.

“Huwag ka ng umiyak anak…. Gusto mo bang makita ka niyang ganiyan pag kagising niya? Gusto mo bang makita ka niya na pagod na pagod pag ka gumising siya?  Huwag ka ng mag-aalala at gigising din si Clint… He’s a fighter you know that? At kahit kailan don’t dare to blame yourself dahil wala kang kasalanan… May mga pagsubok lang na kailangan niyong lampasan parehas… Sige na…  Matulog ka na sa taas at bukas ay bumalik ka sa Hospital…” malambing na saad ng daddy sa’kin… Ginawa ko ang sinabi ni Daddy.. 

Bago ako matulog ay naglinis ako ng katawan at nagpalit ng damit pantulog.. . I need to sleep para bukas ay may energy ako pagpunta ko kay Clint… I prayed before I sleep…  Clint… Hang in there… I love you….

I’m now on my way to the Hospital… I took a leave on the Company for awhile… I need to take care for Clint… Kahit na alam kong galit sa’kin si tita,  I understood her… She’s in pain…  She’s in pain seeing his child who suffer a lot laying on the bed and unconscious… Clint is a fighter… He can make it…  We can make it….

Kiko already knew what happened hindi ko lang alam kung sinabi niya iyon kay tita…  I wish he did…  I really do…  Dahil ayaw akong pakinggan ni Tita Roselyn ay sana sabihin niya na lang…

Pag kadating ko sa ICU kung nasaan si Clint ay si Kiko lang ang naabutan ko…

“Ate…  I told mama about what really happened pero ayaw niyang maniwala… Sorry ate…  Intindihin mo na lang si mama…” saad ni Kiko sa akin..  I smiled bitterly…

“That’s okay Kiko…  I understood what Tita’s going through… She’s in pain kaya intindihin na lang natin…” saad ko sa kaniya at ginulo pa ang buhok niya…  Kiko is handsome as his brother… Pero mas gwapo si Clint….

“Pinauwi ko muna si Mama ate…  Alam kong gusto mong bantayan ang kuya…” saad niya at tumango naman ako… Before I enter the room, I wore PPE…  He’s really in a critical condition still lalo na’t there’s a bleeding yesterday on his brain… And that thing sucks!  It pains me… I’m like seeing my mother again…  Nine years ago she’s like this but now it’s different it’s the man that I love…  It’s the man I wanna spend my time… It’s the man I wanted to marry… Siya lang at wala ng iba…

Pinunasan ko ang luhang nakatakas mula sa mata ko…. Nang dumating na ang tita ay masamang tingin pa din ang ipinukol niya sa’kin… Lumabas ako ng kwarto dahil alam kong ayaw niya akong makasama doon.  Nakatanaw lamang ako sa salamin kung saan makikita mo siya sa loob… Umupo ako sa tabi ni Kiko…

“Aren’t you going to school?” saad ko sa kaniya… Batid ko ang pagod sa mukha ni Kiko…

“Hindi muna ate…” saad niya…

“You should sleep and eat Kiko… Ako ng bahala kay Tita at sa kuya mo… Sige na…  Kumain ka na…” saad ko sa kaniya… Nag-aalinlangan man ay sinunod niya din ako…  He’s tired I know it…

I contacted the head of the security ng Hospital para hindi na muling papasukin si Aika…  I know,  It’s absurd..  But I don’t want to make a scene anymore…  Tama na ang isang beses…. Dahil kahit anong gagawin niya ay papatulan at gagantihan ko din siya..

My main goal here is to wait for Clint… I need to wait for him…

Lumipas ang mga araw at linggo…  Mag-iisang buwan na ay hindi pa din nagigising si Clint… I’m afraid.. I’m starting to be afraid… Paano kung umabot ng taon?  Paano kung magaya siya sa mama ko? I can’t! Hindi ko kakayanin… Hindi ko man gustong isipin ang mga ganong bagay hindi ko pa din maiwasang isipin ang tungkol sa mga bagay na ’yon..  I once experience the same thing and it badly hurts… 

Dalawang linggo na simula ng bumalik ako sa kompanya. Kailangan kong bumalik na kaagad sa company dahil sa mga nakatambak na gawain..  Kailangan kong ihiwalay ang trabaho at personal na buhay ko…  Kailangan ako ng kompanya…

Gustohin ko mang manatili sa tabi ni Clint palagi ay hindi maari dahil baka bumagsak at malugi ang kompanyang iniingatan ng magulang ko… Sa tuwing matatapos ako ng trabaho ay kaagad akong nagtutungo sa Hospital kahit pagod ang katawan ko… I need to check Clint… I need to check what’s going on him… Hanggang ngayon din ay hindi pa din ako kinakausap ni Tita Roselyn ramdam ko pa din ang galit niya sa’kin… Pero kailangan ko siyang intindihin…

Araw-araw ay ipinagdarasal ko ang paggising ni Clint…  Minsan nga naiisip ko na sana isang bangungot na lang ang lahat ng ’to..   Nasa hindi totoo ang mga nangyayari but I know it won’t…. Dahil totoo ang lahat ng mga bagay na ’to…  Totoo ang lahat ng sakit at pait na nararanasan ko…

Pauwi pa lang ako ng Maynila ngayon…. Naging matagumpay ang grand opening ng Brenzilla Hotel and Resort pero hindi ko pa din magawang maging masaya… Kahit na may problema akong pinagdaraanan ay kailangan pa ding buksan ang resort na ’yon… It was a great opening dahil lumampas ang target income namin sa first day but I couldn’t find the happiness there…  Kahit na bumalik na sa unahan ang kompanya ay hindi ko pa ding magawang masaya..

Sa loob ng isang linggong pag kawala ko sa Manila ay palaging si Kiko ang nagbibigay ng impormasyon sa akin…  He informs me every now and then pero hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari ngayon dahil hindi pa niya ako tinatawagan o tine-text man lang but he’s may be busy at the moment… Pero para bang may kabang bumabalot sa akin sa hindi ko malamang dahilan…

Pagkababa ko ng eroplano ay kaagad akong nagpahatid gamit ang kompanya ng sasakyan sa Hospital kung nasaan si Clint kahit na pagod ako ay gusto ko siyang makita at masilayan…

Halos mapatakip ako ng bibig ng makarating ako sa kwarto na wala ng laman at tanging naglilinis na lang ang nandoon.

“N-nasaan po…  ang pasiyente dito?” tanong ko sa babaeng naglilinis ng kwarto…

“Ayy nako.. Iha… Ang alam ko ay inilipat na ’yon sa ibang Hospital… Hindi ba nasabi sayo?” saad nito…  Napatakip na lang ako ng bibig at parang nanghihina akong napahawak sa pader…

“Okay ka lang ba..  Iha?” saad niya at akmang lalapitan niya ako ng pigilan ko na siya…

“Okay lang po ako… Salamat po..” saad ko at dali-daling lumabas ng silid…  Nanginginig kong tinawagan sina Bell at ang mga kaibigan namin kung may alam ba sila kung saan nilipat si Clint pero wala ding silang alam…

Napasalampak na lang ako sa upuan na nasa labas ng kwarto kung saan namalagi si Clint…  Where did they go? I tried calling Kiko but his phone is already unattended…

Kahit na nanghihini ay sinubukan kong tawagan ang mga taong posibleng makatulong sa akin.. I called the connections that I have but none of them locate where Clint is…  I’ve tried checking the Hospitals here in the Philippines but Clint is nowhere to be found… They are all gone!  Puta!  I shouldn’t have left manila if just known na aalis sila…

Bakit? Bakit pa din nila inilayo si Clint? Hindi ba nila naintindihan?  Na wala akong kasalanan at misunderstanding lang ang lahat!  This is all a bullshit!

I can’t… I can’t lose him once again… He’s my love… Kakaayos lang namin but all this had happen…  I can’t take it… Hindi ko alam kung paano siya hahanapin kung ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kaniya ay hindi pumapayag na makita ko siya….

Walang lakas na nilisan ko ang Hospital. Hindi ko na pinapansin ang mga mapanuring mga mata ng mga taong nadadaanan ko…  I know…  I look miserable right now…

Clint…. Hihintayin kita…. Hihintayin kita sa pagbabalik mo… Hindi ko alam kung ilang araw, linggo,  buwan o taon ang dapat na naman nating hintayin pero mag-aantay ako…

Ganito ba?  Ganito ba ang totoong Pag-ibig? Ang pag-ibig na handang masaktan at maghintay?

Sana sa pangatlong pagkakataon ay hindi na muling masayang pa…  Ako naman…  Ako naman ang maghihintay sa pagbabalik niya ngayon… Ako naman….

TB-32

Isang taon na simula ng mawala si Clint… I have been longing for him for so long…. I used every connections I have pero wala pa ding nangyari, hindi ko alam kung saang lupalop sila nagpunta pero isa lang ang hinihiling ko na sana ay bumalik na siya dito…. Sana ay gising na siya kung nasaan man siya ngayon…. I missed him so much… But I can’t do something about it…

Our company is back to the top dahil doon ko halos ibuhos ang oras ko… I’ve spent every occasions with my family pero I know there’s still something missing on me…. Nawawala pa din ang kabiyak ng puso ko… Kahit wala pa mang engagement sa pagitan naming dalawa.. I know he’s the only man I wanna marry and spend the rest of my life….

Our life is really cruel for the both of us.. . I always try to look on the positive side of what’s happening to our relationship na palaging sinusubok ng pagkakataon at tadhana.. But I know he will come back.. . I know na magkakasama kaming muli….

Noong first three months ng pagkawala ni Clint I’ve been restless sa paghahanap sa kaniya… Even his company don’t know where he is…. But I think everything is planned… Planado ang pag-alis nila noon… Hindi ko naman magawang mag tanim ng sama ng loob kina Tita Roselyn at kay Kiko dahil alam kong gusto lang nilang protektahan si Clint.. . I know…. I’d hurt him once but this time I’ll wait for him….

Kung kinaya niyang mag hintay ng pitong taon… Ako din.. . Kakayanin ko dahil alam kong hindi na siya mapapalitan sa puso ko…..

Bumalik naman ako sa ulirat ng magpalakpakan na ang lahat.. . Ngayong araw ay kinasal ang pinsan kong si Bell…. She really looks happy… I wish I could be that happy too… I wish I could be the betrothed woman to the man that I wanted to be with….

Nagsasayawan na sa saliw ng romantikong musika ang lahat… I smiled… Almost all of my friends have their partner now… Si Karl at Alex they are officially together also. Ang kambal niya naman ay may girlfriend na din na kaperahas niyang Matalino at may pag ka nerd. Si Nathan he has been with his long time girlfriend at alam ko ay ikakasal na din sila sa mga susunod na mga buwan…

I’m happy for all of them pero siyempre hindi ko pa din maiwasan ang hindi mainggit…. If Clint’s here would I be that happy too? For sure…. I tried to smile everytime na tinitingin sila sa’kin dahil ayokong madamay sila sa nararamdaman ko….

My friend knew so well how I miss Clint… They knew na hihintayin ko si Clint kahit anong mangyari… There are boys who shows interest on me but I’m just ignoring them…. I love Clint.. . And I’ll always love him…

Matapos ang halos walong oras na kasalan ay natapos din ’to… Ella got the bouquet… Nathan’s fiancé … Well siya naman talaga ang susunod na ikakasal eh… In few moths they will be husband and wife too..

Bell and Bryan will fly to France today, for their honeymoon… As I waved my goodbye to my friends ay kaagad naman akong pumunta sa Presedential suit ko dito sa Hotel… Yes, kinasal sina Bell at Bryan sa Beach ng resort namin they also had the reception here pero hindi sila mag hohoney-moon dito….

Habang naglalakad ay binabati ako ng mga empleyado, I just nod on them… Habang pasakay ng elevator ay nakatapat ako sa lobby I see a Familiar pair of eyes that I’ve never seen for a year. My heart beats so fast…. My body stiffened…. It’s Clint…. But the moment I am about to go on his way ay wala na siya…. Did I saw it right? Or I’m just hallucinating again? Gosh! This things frustrates me…

Dahil sa nangyari ay medyo balisa akong bumalik sa elevator para makapgpahinga na… Is it really him? On our hotel? Pero baka nag hallucinate lang talaga ako kanina muli.. Yes, I’ve been experiencing hallucinations for months… May be I really missed him.

Ng makarating ako sa suit ko ay kaagad akong nagbabad da bathtub… Matapos no’n ay nagbihis lang ako ng pantulog at humiga na sa kama… It’s past 10 in the evening…. I’ve been dying just to see Clint…. Hindi ko namalayan na ginapo na ako ng dilim dahil sa antok at pagod sa buong araw….

I decided to take a day-off for today… I’ll just go around the Resort. I wore a sheer top and a white shorts that emphatized my longs legs and white skin… I wore my chanel glasses to protect my eyes from UV. I also wore my beach sandals. Matapos kong maglagay ng minimal make up ay tiningnan kong muli ang repleksiyon ko sa salamin… My black jet hair grew longer… Ipi-nusod ko ang buhok ko bago ako lumabas ng suit…

Mukhang hindi ako nakikilala ng ibang employee ng Hotel dahil sa suot ko… Ngayon lang kasi ako nag suot ng ganito mismo sa Hotel… Sa paglabas ko ng Hotel ay bumalaga sakin ang mga yatch ng mga mayayamang costumer ng Hotel kaya napangiti na lang ako….

Habang naglalakad ay napansin ko ang bagong dating na mga panauhin ng Hotel.. Halos matigagal ako sa kinatatayuan ko…. It was Clint’s family pero nasaan na siya? Nasaan na si Clint? My eyes widened ng bumaba sa yate na binabaan nila si Aika…. I haven’t seen her for so long…

Para bang hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko… I just stood on my place and observing them from the distance…. Mas lalo pang nagimbal ako sa kinatatayuan ko ng lumapit sa kanila ang isang lalaking galing sa Hotel… Naka board short at Polo lang ’to… Hinalikan niya sa pisnge si tita Roselyn at ng pumunta na siya kay Aika ay niyakap niya ’to ng mahigpit…. Para bang winawarak ang puso ko… Parang nagdilim ang paningin ko and one thing I knew ay lumabas na naman ang ugaling kalye ko na kay Aika lang lumabas…. I used all of my strength para mapaghiwalay sila at tinulak ko si Aika sa buhanginan…. Naramdaman ko ang pagkagulat nila sa ginawa ko….

“You! You are a real bitch!” sigaw ko kay Aika but before I could even went near her ay para bang natigagal ako sa kinatatayuan ko ng nilapitan niya si Aika at dinaluhan ’to… Ansakit! Sobrang sakit…

“Why did you that to my girl friend? Sino ka ba ha? Pwede kitang ipakulong!” sigaw ni Clint sa akin… Tears started to flow in to my eyes…. Girl friend niya si Aika? Ako ’yon! Ako lang!

“Clint….” ang natigagal ko na lang… Kiko went near me at dinaluhan ako…

“Sorry ate…” Ang bungad sa akin ni Kiko…. I look on him at kita ko ang paghingi ng tawad niya sa mga mata niya…. And even tita Roselyn, para bang humihingi din siya ng tawad sakin…

Inilayo ako ni Kiko kina Clint at Aika… I couldn’t utter a word…

“Kuya has an amnesia… Ate… It’s just temporary amnesia… He couldn’t remember you… He woke up five months ago… Sorry ate… Sorry kung nilayo namin si Kuya sayo… Mama is desperate to separate both of you… Pero pinagsisisihan niya na ’yon ate… Si Aika noong nagising si Kuya ay nandoon siya at nagpakilala siya kay kuya bilang Girl friend nito kahit wala siyang maalala… Sorry ate… We tried to tell him about you pero hindi ka niya maalala… Kayo ng mga kaibigan mo… It took him while just to remember us… Sinubukan namin ipaalala ka sa kaniya but it just triggers his anxiety… We hid in California ate…. Akala nga namin masusundan mo kami but we’re wrong…. Aika did something about it para hindi mo kami mahanap…. Even me ate… Hindi ko inexpect na masusundan kami ni Aika but she just did…. Isang araw ay pumunta na lang siya sa Hospital sa California kung nasaan ang kuya… Pasensiya niya talaga ate… I haven’t had the chance to contact you… Sorry talaga ate…” He said…. Kiko wiped the tears on my eyes…

“It’s okay…. Ang importante ay gising na ang kuya mo…. Will you help me Kiko?” O asked…

“Oo naman ate… Tutulungan ka namin ni Mama… It was actually her plan to visit this Resort ate dahil nasa Kalapit na isla kami… We just got gome last week ate… Aika is following our actions at mukhang hindi alam ni Aika na sa inyo ang resort na ’to kaya napapayag namin siya…..” He said…. I just nodded on him as I fixed my self..

“It’s just temporary, right? So he will definitely recover?” I asked…. Napangiti na lang ako dahil da pag tango niya… Hindi pa huli ang lahat. That Aika, He’s playing dirty on Clint…

“I’ll do my best ate para mapaghiwalay sila ngayong araw para makapag-usap kayo….” saad niya at napangiti naman ako… This time… I’m the one who will fight for us…

“Thanks Kiko…” I said to him at pinag-usapan namin ang mga gagawin namin para makapag-usap kami ni Clint…. I missed him so much… I wanted to hug him…. I wanted to tell him how much I long for him….

I’ve seen movies kung saan ang lalaki ang gumagawa ng paraan to talk with the girl they love…. But this time I’ll make a change… Wala namang rule na bawal ang mga babaeng gumawa ng ganito ’di ba?

I’m now on a yatch… Kiko and I decided to make this plan… At hinintay ko na lang ang pagsakay ni Clint sa loob nito at iaalos ko na ang yateng ’to sa resort… Yes, I’m that desperate pero wala na akong pake… I need to talk to him… I want to talk to him… I wanted to be with him… Again….

It’s 3 in the afternoon at hinihintay ko na lang ang pagsakay ni Clint sa loob ng Yateng ’to… I know how to drive this one anyways…. Maya-maya lang Kiko called me that everything is all set at nakapasok na ng yate si Clint without sensing anything. Great!

I drive the yatch out of the Resort as soon as he get in….

“Go… Ate… Just continue driving…. Aika wouldn’t be able to stop you anymore… Mama wanted to say Good luck to the both of you! And sorry again!” He said at pinatay na ang tawag…. I clicked the automatic sailing of the yatch to get out of the control room… And as soon as I get out…. Hindi ko na napigilan na yakapin si Clint ng makita ko siya….

“I missed you… I missed you so much…. Clint… What took you so long?” I asked…. But he suddenly pull me away from him pero hindi naman gano’n kalakasan ’yon….

“Sorry, Miss… But I don’t know you… I can’t remember you…” He said and his eyes are full of questions…

“Clint… I’m Kaye… I’m your Kaye…” I said desperately.

“Sorry… I have a girlfriend miss…. And actually my girlfriend is waiting on me…” he said that stiffened my body…

“No! No one will get out of here…” seryosong saad ko sa kaniya… “I’m Kaye… Please… Try to remember me….” I said. Tinitigan naman niya ako pero bigla na lang siyang napahawak sa ulo niya…

“Clint, calm down…. Okay… Drink this…” I said then give his meds for his head… Umayos naman ang lagay niya…. Gosh! I’m this desperate for him to know me…

“Please… Clint… Remember me…” I said at pumatak na ang luha sa mga mata ko… Naramadaman ko ang pagyakap niya sa’kin… “Naalala mo na ako?” I asked pleadingly.

“No… I just felt na ayaw kitang nakikita umiiyak…” He said na mas lalong nag paluh sa’kin…

“I’m your girlfriend… Clint… Please.. Remember me…” I said to him…

“I’ll try Miss… But I can’t promise… I’m sorry.. My girlfriend is waiting for me…” saad niya at para namang winawarak ang puso ko sa mga salitang binibitawan niya..

Humiwalay naman ako sa yaka niya…

“No! I won’t let you go this time… Mag mukha na akong desperada pero Clint… Please… Remember me…” I asked.

I hugged him tight again… Humahampas na sa amin ang simoy ng hangin… He wiped my tears… I felt my heart is beating so fast..

“I’ve waited for you…. I’ve waited for you ’till you came back… You are my other half… Clint…. Aika… Aila’s just lying to you… I can show you proof Clint…” saad ko at tinignan ko siya may luhang pumatak sa mga mata niya.. Gosh! This man! I missed him… I really do..

“Let’s go inside, I’ll show you…” saad ko sa kaniya at pumasok kami sa sala ng Yatch namin…

“Here….” Inilabas ko ang phone ko at ipinakita ko ang picture naming dalawa at ang picture namin ng mga kaibigan namin….

“That’s you… Clint… Aika… She’s a lying bitch Clint… She’s desperate to have you since then… Please believe me…” Saad ko sa kaniya at halos magmakaawa na ako sa kaniya…

Confusion suddenly became evident on his face….

“Okay.. I’ll give you time to remember pero we will stay here… I won’t let Anika to mingle with this… She’s a bitch Clint… She’s obsessed…” I said at mukhang nakumbinse ko naman siya na mag stay muna dito..

“Tita Roselyn and Kiko knows it too… Ako yung na-kwento sayo ni Kiko noon… I know you will remember in no time Clint… Just stay with me…” I said…. He unconsiously nod his head and I hugged him tight once again.. Wala na akong pake kung ano pa man ang isipin niya.. What’s important is for him to remember me…

“Let’s eat…” I said as soon as I put the dishes I made by myself… Yes, I learned how to cook already… “Did you cook all of this? This is my Fave…” He said to me pointing his finger on the Pinakbet… I felt my heart melt…

“Yeah, I know… We have the same favorite Clint…” My heart lighten as he tell it to me…. He never change… Kahit na wala siyang maalala siya pa din ang Clint ko…

We eat together, He is asking questions tungkol sa aming dalawa at sa mga kaibigan ko… I happily tell him every important details… Simula noong naging kami, noong nagkahiwalay kami, lahat ng ’yon. Gosh! Parang gusto ko na lang manatili kami sa yate na ’to.. .

Pag kasubo niya ay nakatingin lang ako sa magiging expression niya at napangiti ako ng magana siyang kumain…

“Does it taste good? I asked…

“Yes… Masarap..“sagot niya sa’kin kaya halos lumutang na ako sa ulap… I know… I felt like a teenager once again…. Para bang bumalik kami noong mga bata pa kami…. I really love him… can’t bear to lose him once again….

After naming kumain ay nag volunteer siyang maghugas dahil mukhang hindi daw ako sanay sa mga ganong gawain… Which is somehow true…

“You’re right….” Nahihiyang saad ko and I heard him chuckle once again. I missed it… I missed everything about him…

“I missed you…” wala sa sariling natigagal ko, tinignan niya lang ako at ngumiti at diretso na sa kitchen para hugasan ang mga pinagkainan namin…

Kaagad ko namang pinunasan ang luhang umalpas sa aking mga mata…. I need to be patient… He will remember me soon… I know it…

Kinabukasan ay halos mapatalon ako sa gulat ng maabutan ko siyang naka topless at tanging apron lang ang suot pang itaas…. Kahit na unconcious siya ng ilang buwan ay mabilis namang bumalik ang katawaan niya… He’s still hot and looks good….

Medyo magulo pa ang buhok niya pero mas lalo lang yun nag pagwapo sa kaniya….

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” I asked… Mukhang hindi niya ko napansin kanina pag kapasok ko kaya medyo nagulat pa siya ng makita ako…

“I just wanted to cook for you… I’m a good cook… Pansin ko kasi na medyo hindi ka sanay eh…” He said at Napangiti na lang ako sa kaniya… Kahit hindi niya sadyain ay kusang nafeflex ang mga muscle niya sa braso… Gosh!

“Let’s eat….” Anunsyo niya pag kaayos ng mesa… I just smile on him at umupo na sa tapat na inuupuan niy….

“Are we going back to the resort?” He asked… Napatigagal naman ako sa kinauupuan ko…

Umiling lang ako sa kaniya dahil ayaw ko pang magkahiwalay kami… “Remember me first… Please…” I said pleadingly… He just shrugged his shoulders.

“My girlfriend is waiting for me… Kaye…” saad niya at para namang winawarak ang puso ko kahit na hindi noya sinasadya…

“No Clint! He’s not your girlfriend! It’s me! Only me!” I said at may pumatak pang luha sa mata ko… Gosh! I felt so emotional these days…

“Don’t cry…. We’ll stay… Kumain na tayo…” saad niya at para bang lumambot muli ang puso ko….

“Do you love Aika? Do you feel something towards her?” I suddenly asked out of the blue….

I felt like I caught him off guard… “To tell you, I really don’t know… I’m actually confused…” He said…. At napahawak naman siya sa ulo niya…

“Are you okay?” I hurriedly asked…. At kinuha ang gamot niya sa anxiety attacks na nagpapasakit ng ulo niya kapag may pilit siyang inaalala…

“Take it easy Clint… I’m willing to wait untill you remember me… “ I said to him. Pero I know nakakalimot man ang utak pero ang puso kailan man ay hindi makakalimot…

Ng umayos na ang lagay niya ay ako na ang nagligpit amng pinagkainan namin… “Let’s go out side..” saad niya at lumabas nga kami… I look on the peaceful blue sea…. I smiled… I know time will come and Clint will remember me…

“Does Aika lies to me?” He asked….

“Yes… Clint… He is lying to you… He made up lies to feed for you… She’s a bitch… Clint..” I said…

“It seems that you are really telling the truth… But Aika is a good person…” He said and I felt a pang of pain…

“Clint…” hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko sa kaniya….

“We both made mistakes from the past… Pero once you remember, you got in to an accident because of misunderstanding…. It’s just all misunderstanding… Clint… Becaise at the very first place ikaw lang ang mahal ko…” I said to him habang nakatanaw sa asul na dagat….

“Clint… You always sings for me.. You always treat me as a princess… You always love me for who I am… I love you Clint…” I said to him habang nakatingin pa din sa asul na dagat.. . Pero I felt his stairs on me.. ..

“I don’t know but my heart beats so fast whenever I see you…” saad niya at parang nagpakabog ng dibdib ko… His heart! It still beats for me!

Nagulat ako ng bigla niya akong niyakap…. “Do you remember me now?” I asked… “No… But I wanted to hug you…” He said na mas nagpalambot ng puso ko… Tears started to flow from my eyes… “Help me to remember you….” he said on my ears at humarap ako sa kaniya at niyakap siya muli.. .

“Yes, Clint… I’ll help you… I’ll wait for you… Untill you remember me… Okay? I love you…” I said and hugged him tight… Once again I felt like I’m back… I’m back in to his arms and to my home…

“I’ll remember you.. Soon…” Saad niya sa’kin…. Habang nakayakap pa din…. Bumitaw lang ako sa yakap namin ng punasan niya ang luhang pumatak sa aking mga mata…

“You looks prettier when you are smiling…” He said at parang naalala ko ang unanf pagkakataon na nag kita kami… I’m also crying that time and he went to me… He comfort me… He’s always my comfort and freedom….

“I’ll talk to Aika… Okay? I’ll tell her to stop all the lies she has been feeding me… Okay?” He said… I nodded happily.. Atleast now, I have my assurance that Clint will be back to me…

TB-33

SPG

Read at your own risk! ❤

……….. We spend the whole time catching up with each other kahit na wala pa siyang maalala… I know it may take time for him to remember me but I’m willling to do everything for him just to remember me….

“Did I really do that?” He asked na kwento ko kasi sa kaniya ang surprise niya sa’kin on our first Monthsarry….

“Oo… Ibinigay mo pa nga ’to eh…” Saad ko sabay labas ng kwintas na may initials naming dalawa…  ‘K&C’. Sinubukan niya na namang alalahanin pero pinigilan ko na siya…

“Don’t do that… Baka sumakit na naman ang ulo mo…” I said at nginitian niya naman ako…  Madalas kasing sumakit ang ulo niya kapag may gusto siyang alalahanin na bagay.. .

“Wanna sleep?” I asked.. I know..  He is still in the process of recovering so kailangan hindi siya gaanong mapagod at mastress…

“No.. . I wanna spend more time here…” He said then looked up in the sky.. .starts are twinkling everwhere… The night is indeed amazing… Tanging ilaw mula cabin ng yate at ng buwan lang ang nagbibigay ng liwanag sa’min….

“Ang ganda…” saad ko at tumayo sa sa kinauupuan ko…  I must say that Clint is really the same guy I met years ago.. .I’ll always love him for how simple and kind person he is…

“Sobrang ganda…” saad niya bigla at nasa tabi ko na siya kaagad… Pag katingin ko sa kaniya ay nakatingin siya sa akin… I remember it… Ganitong ganito din kami dati….

“Can I hug you?” I asked… I really missed him…  I missed all about him.. .

Hindi pa man siya sumagot ay kusa na niya akong niyakap..   I felt safe as he pressed his body in to me…. His scent, I missed it.. ..

We are just hugging each other hanggang sa napagpasiyahan na naming matulog…

“So paano?  Good night.. . See you bukas Kaye..” saad niya…

“See you… Clint…” I said at pumasok na sa kaharap ng kwarto ko… Pag kapasok ko ay hindi ko na mapigilan na mapatili… Gosh!  I really made the right decision ‘Abducting’ him…

“Wah!” I pressed my head on the pillow para hindi gaanong malakas ang tili ko…  I couldn’t stop it.. . He’s making me kilig… Para akong bumabalik sa pagiging teenager and it’s really nice to be back…

Kinaumagahan ay halos mag-agawan pa kami kung sino ang magluluto pero at the end siya ang nanalo at ako na lang ang nag-ayos ng mesa…  If anyone will see us para na kaming mag-asawa but we’re not… Yet.

“Let’s eat…” anunsiyo niya habang nakangiti mabuti na lang ay nalipat ko ang luggage niya dito at ang luggage ko din kaya I’m not worrying sa ano mang susuotin namin…  The yatch supplies will last till next month kung gugustuhin namin pero siyempre we can’t do that… I still have works in Manila at hinintay ko lang talaga ang assurance mula kay Clint…

“Let’s go back on the resort later…” I said to him at para bang napahinto naman siya sa pagkain…

“Let’s swim on the near Island first…  Can we?” He asked at natawa naman ako dahil nag pa cute pa si Clint… “Okay…” saad ko…  Sabay naman kaming napatawa…  Gosh! It feels the same…. It feels we’re still young… Kahit na nasa 20’s na kami…

Pumunta kami sa kalapit na resort kung nasaan ang yate namin…  Mas okay na dito ke’sa doon sa resort namin kung nasaan si Aika… May mga tao na nandito sa may kaliitan na resort pero hindi naman gano’n kadami…..

“I’ll wait you on the beach side…” He said dahil nagbibihis pa akong ng yellow one piece swim suit….  I look on the mirror…  I brought my SPF lotion dahil hindi ko malagyan ang likod ko…

I wore my black robe before going out of the room…. I’m sure I’m still sexy as ever dahil mine-maintain ko naman ang katawan ko dahil I’m the face of the company….

As I went out of the cottage ay dumiretso ako kung nasaan si Clint…

“Did I make you wait for long?” I asked.

“No!  It’s just okay…” He said… He’s wearing a sando and a board short… His Biceps are still in built…

“Let’s go?” aya niya sa’kin… “Wait can you put some spf on my back? I can’t reach it eh…” saad ko..  I tried my best not to sound flirty but it still sounded like that. Nakakahiya!

“Amina…” He said at kinuha na ang lotion mula sa kamay ko.. .

I sit on the bench at hinubad na ang robe ko…  I felt his stares on my body… Yes, that’s yours…  My man..

“Come on Clint…”  I said dahil medyo natagalan siya sa paglalagay ng lotion…  I felt his warm hand at napansin ko ding medyo nanginginig ’yon but still he managed to control it… .

I chuckled… “What took you so long?” I asked innocently… But he just shrugged it off.  Matapos niyang lagyan ng lotion ang likod ko ay tumayo na ako…

“Let’s go…” saad ko at tumakbo na sa asul na karagatan…

“Can’t you just wear that?” He said at tinuro ang robe na hinubad ko…

“Oh man!  That’s not for swimming… Come on…  Let’s enjoy the water…” I said to him at tumawa pa sa tinuran niya…  Napakamot naman siya sa ulo niya pero wala na din siyang nagawa….

Para kaming mga bata na nawiwisikan ng tubig na para bang gumagawa ng commercial… Gosh!  I felt so young and fresh again….

I chuckled when he tried to reach for me.. . But I swam faster than he expected…. Everything is indeed amazing… Ang hinihiling ko na lang ngayon ay ang maalala niya muli ako… I missed my man…  I really do…

Palubog na ang araw ng mapagpasiyaha naming bumalik sa yate…  We decided to drink.. And as the song says…  ‘Basta may alak, may balak…’ Just kidding… We just wanted to savour our moment together kahit na wala pa siyang naalala…

“Can’t you still remember me?” I asked before I sip on my glass…  He looked on me and shook his head… “It’s okay…” saad ko kahit ramdam ang lungkot sa boses ko…

“Pero there’s something inside me when yoy are around and when I’m with you… Kaye…  So don’t be sad… Kahit na hindi pa kita maalala..  I’ll want to make memories with you…. Dahil sa palagay ko ikaw ang gusto nitong puso ko…” He said seriously na   para bang naglagay sa akin sa alipaap…

Habang nag-uusap kami I know na medyo napaparami na ang naiinom namin…  We suddenly look at each other ay para bang may umusbong nainit mula sa’kin… But I know there’s something also that builds up on him dahil sa mga titig na binibigay niya sa’kin…

Nakaupo lang kami sa upuan,  I was shock ng bigla siyang tumayo at lumapit sa’kin… Naramdaman ko na lang ang mga labi niya sa mga labi ko… Noong una ay nakadampi lang ang mga ’to..

He kissed me,  mas lumalim pa ang mga halik niya at para na akong mauubusan ng hangin…  Well hindi naman ’to ang unang beses na ginawa namin pero it’s been a year noong huling may nangyari sa’min…

Bigla naman niya akong binuhat habang hindi pa din napuputol ang halikan namin…  Para bang hindi mabigat ang binuhat niya dahil patuloy lang siya sa paghalik sa akin…  Ginagalugad na ng dila niya ang dila ko…  I could taste the alcohol we drink on his….

Nararamdaman ko naman ang matigas na bagay na bumubundol sa pang-upo ko… He’s hard, really hard…

Without stopping the kisses ay nadala niya ako sa kwarto niya… He stared for me as he lay me on his bed. His kisses went deeper at naputol lamang ’yon ng bumaba siya mula sa bibig ko papunta sa leeg ko…  He’s planting small kisses on mine at para bang kinikiliti ako…  I won’t stop him… I want this afterall…  I long for this also…

Matapos no’n ay tinanggal niya ang halter top na suot ko… He also unclasped my bra at tinulungan ko naman siya para mas mapabilis ’yon as he unclasped it ay maramdam ko na lang mga basa niyang dila sa kaliwa at kanang dibdib ko… He sucks it na para bang uhaw sa dagat kahit wala namang gatas na lumalabas….

“Ahhh… Ahhhh… Ahhh….” I moaned as he sucks my breast while massaging it sweetly…

Ng magsawa na siya ay bumaba na siya sa pusod ko at naramdaman ko na lang ang dila niya doon… Malinis naman yon kya kery lang! Muli siyang bumalik sa pag halik sa labi ko… “You taste sweet…” He said dryly…  I could see the desire and intensity on his eyes…

Before he made another move ay ako naman ang kumilos… As always…  I don’t always let him dominate me… Halos suot niya pa ang lahat ng piraso ng damit niya but any minutes now ay mawawala na din ’yon…

Hinalikan ko muna din siya sa labi, same with the intensity he gives on me… I missed him… “Just stay calm… And don’t you ever dare to move your hands…” I warned him naughtily on his his ear… Dahil sa pag-ibabaw ko sa kaniya I could feel his junior wants to get out already but not yet my baby…

Matapos ko siyang halikan muli sa labi ay pumunta din ako sa leeg niya… I sucked and kissed his adam apple…  There are veins on his neck but I just made hickeys on it…  I want to mark him too.  That he is mine… Just mine…

I went down ’till I reach his always hot abs… His six-pack abs never change… I kissed it all at naramdaman ko naman ang pag-ungol niya while I’m doing it….

Ng makababa na ako sa destinasyon ay kahit may suot pa siyang board short ay bumubukol na ito doon… I lick it… Pansin ko na din ang pre-cum niya… Pero hindi ko pa din nilalabas ang sandata niya…

“Just free me…” He said dryly at nginisian ko lang siya….

Hinimas ko muna ’to na nag paungol sa kaniya… It seems like matagal niya ng nagagawa ’yon dahil halos para na siyang nagpapalabas kahit na pre-cum niya pa lamang ang lumabas…

Ng ibinaba ko ang short at brief niya ay halos mag-bounce ang junior niya… Gosh!  Para bang mas lumaki pa ’to kesa dati… I could feel na aabot na ’to hanggang small Intestine… Joke… I look on his eyes and he’s staring on me na para bang sinasabi na gawin ko na ang gusto kong gawin…

“Ahhhh… Ahhh….”

Ungol niya as I licked the head of his manhood… His moans are roaming around the room…. But his endurance is still the same… He still could make it ’till the end…

I swallow his pre-cum on my mouth at tuluyan ko na ngang sinubo ang sa kaniya…  Ngunit halos kalahati pa lang ay parang mabubulunan na ako… “Ahhhh..,” He moaned at nararamdaman ko pa din ang pagtitimpi niya…  I tried to deep throat him once but he just stopped me.. .

I just used my hands sa hindi na sakop ng bibig ko…  I move up and down.. . Slowly while teasing him… “Ahhh!  Fuck!  It feels Familiar… Kaye…” He said na mas lalong nagpagana sa’kin… Binilisan ko ang pagtaas at baba ng bunganga ko gano’n na din ng mga kamay ko…

“Ahhh… Ahhhh…Aggg.” sunod-sunod na ungol niya at halos naluluha na ako but I just endure it…

“Im comming… stop… it… now… Kaye…” He said dryly but I didn’t listen on him I still continue what I’m doing at ilang saglit pa ay nalasahan ko na ang kaniya sa bibig ko..   It still taste the same…

Nanlambot na ang kaniya pero ilang saglit lang ay handa na naman ’to.. . But this time he’s on the top…  I could feel and smell the scents from our body and the sweats from both of us.. But we just ignored it.. .

Kaagad siyang bumaba sa gitnang parte ko at ibininaba ang panty ko…. He aggressively made a way inside of me using his tongue… Pilit niyang pinapasok ang dila niya sa’kin na nagpaungol sa’kin…

“Ahhhh.. Ahhh… Ahhh…”  I moaned…  I could feel the building tension inside of me at ramdam ko na kaunti na lang ay lalabasan na ako sa ginagawa niyang paglabas masok ng dila niya sa loob ko….

At ilang saglit nga lang ay nilabasan na ako..   He licked my entrance at para bang sinimot pa ang inilabas ko… “Aahhh… Clint…” I moaned at naramdaman ko ang pagngiti niya… I could also feel his beard na nakakapag kaliti sa akin.. .

He thrust his one finger said at halos makalmot ko na siya sa balikat ng dahil sa biglaang pagpasok niya… Gosh!  I felt like a virgin again…. “Ahhh.. Ahh… Ahhh..” I moaned when he started to move his one finger at pinasok pa ang isa…  He thrust it in and out na halos magpabaliw sa akin.. .

Naramdaman ko na lang ang panginigig muli ng katawan ko sa pangalawang pagkakataon… Kung akala ko ay tapos na but it didn’t end there…  Dahan-dahan niyang pinasok ang saludo pa ring sandata niya sa’kin… “Ahhh… Fuck!  This is so hot!” He said dryly… “Ahhhh…” I moaned as he successfully enter his whole…

Noong una ay mabagal lang at halos sabay pa kaming napapaungol pero ng tumagal na ay binilisan niya na ang paglabas at pagpasok sa loob ko…  Tanging salpukan ng balat namin at ungol ang maririnig sa buong paligid.

We both exclaimed ng sabay namin muling maabot ang ikalawang glorya… We made it twice…  Sa ikalawa namin ay napagpasiyahan na naming matulog pero bago ’yon ay nilinisan niya muna ako at naglinis muna din siya ng katawan niya…

“I love you… Clint…” I said to him and he just smiled on me… He can’t say it yet but I know in no time he will be able to tell it to me again…

The moment you accept your flaws, is the moment you will grow too. For me,  Clint and I we’re not perfect for us not to commit mistakes. Pero minsan nagkakaroon tayo ng maling pananaw na hindi na natin tatanggapin ang sarili natin o ang ibang tao once they made mistake o may mali sa kanila…  Embrace not reject,  than to make our mistakes as a downfall for us, Why don’t treat it as a progress, lesson and change.. Once you look on that way,  your perspective as a human will change… We both made mistakes in the past but the present will lead as the way….

I am willing to take part on his progress too.  Everything is in the process and the moment he remembers me again is the moment I’ll cherish forever.

Kinabukasan I felt the soaring sensation down there as I wake up…. Wala na si Clint sa tabi ko…  Naghanap ako ng gamot sa loob ng kwarto at mabuti na lang ay meds na nandito. But it’s just pain killers, ng medyo tumalab na ang gamot ay lumabas na ako at naabutan ko si Clint na ayos na ang mesa at may mga pagkain na dito…

“Let’s eat…” nakangiti niyang saad sa’kin kaya napangiti na lang din ako….  Umupo ako at kasabay no’n ang pag-upo niya sa harapan ko….

“Does it hurt?” inosenteng tanong niya…

“Don’t ask about it Clint…” nahihiyang saad ko…  Ofcourse, it hurts, sa laki ba naman ng kaniya eh. Kaasar!

“Sorry Kaye… We shouldn’t…” saad niya pero pinutol ko na siya..

“That’s okay… Ikaw pa din talaga ang Clint na mahal ko..” natatawang saad ko dahil gano’n na gano’n din ang sinabi niya Pagkagising namin noong una naming ginawa ’yon.

“Let’s go home later….” I announced… There’s something on his eyes when I tell him that but he vanished it away…

“Let’s eat…” saad niya at kumain na kami… We’re still catching up while eating he is in a big awe knowing that I own a big company…  Pero siya din naman… Para tuloy bumalik ang pagiging isip bata niya…

Later in the afternoon we decided to go back on the resort… Siya na lang daw ang bahalang kumausap kay Aika…  And I let him be dahil I know na gagawin naman ni Clint ’yon…

“So paano? Just text or call me pag nakabalik ka na sa Manila…” saad niya sa’kin…

“Okay… Clint…  I hope that Aika will listen to you… But I’m telling you she’s obsessed…” O said to him na walang kagatolgatol..  It’s true.. Aika is obsessed.. He made everything para hindi ko mahanap sina Clint… She’s the reasok behind it…  Konti na nga lang ay iisipin ko ng baliw na ’yon eh…

Nasa loob na ako ng suit ko sa Hotel…  I’m preparing my things dahil babalik na ako Manila bukas para sa nga naiwan kong trabaho ng mga ilang araw na din ang tinagal….

My secretary is on the way here para ibigay ang mga kailangang pirmahan na mga papel bago ako lumipad ng Manila bukas… Ang alam ko ay ngayon din kakausapin ni Clint si Aika…  I hope that bitcg will listen to him…. Grabe!  Napaka-immature niya talaga,  to pretend na girlfriend siya ni Clint.  Wow!

Naputol lamang ang pag-iisip ko ng tumunog ang door bell ng room. I hurriedly open the door without looking on the monitor kung sino ang nasa labas…. Nagulat ako ng humahangos at galit na galit na si Aika ang bumungad sa’kin….

Dahil sa gulat ay hindi ko na napigilan ang sampal niya na tumama sa kaliwang bahagi ng mukha ko…  Hinawakan ko naman ’to at batid ko ang pamumula ng maputi kong balat ng dahil sa ginawa niya…

“You bitch!” sigaw niya at akmang hahawakan niya ang buhok ko ng sinipa ko ang tiyan niya at kaagad naman siyang natumba…  I can’t lose a singe hair strand at the moment… I won’t let her..

“You are a liar! You are bitch! Bakit ba ang kapal ng mukha mong bakla ka? Sa tingin mo ba mabubuntis ka niya! He deserves better!” sigaw niya…

“If he deserves better then he doesn’t deserve you too bitch! Sino ka? Bakit napaka bobo mo!” I said to her… Akmang sasampalin niya ako ng mahawakan ko ang kamay niya…  I know lalaki ako dati pero hindi na ngayon…

“Desperada!” sigaw ko sa kaniya…

“Pagbabayaran mo ’to!  Napaghiwalay ko na kaya ng maraming beses,  remember? Paghihiwalayin ko ulit kayo…” saad niya at binawi na ang kamay niya…

“I’m not scared,  bitch! Do it!  I won’t even be scared of you…” I said at tinalikuran na siya at ni lock na ang pintuan…  I’m not scared to her…  But I’m scared to the idea na maghihiwalay ulit kami ni Clint… Not for the third time…  I won’t let it to happen again…. Not in this lifetime again…

TB-34

Mas naging maayos na ang lahat. May mga hindi pagkakaunawaan talaga na kailangan i-daan sa maayos na usapan.  Nakausap ko na si Tita Roselyn and she’s very sorry sa naging desisyon niya na ilayo si Clint at gaya nga ng inaasahan Aika push her to do it. But she apologized for it and I forgave her….

Matapos kong bumalik sa Manila ay halos matambakan ako ng trabaho sa kompanya.  Pero madali ko naman na isaayos ang lahat ng kinailangan kong ayusin. Sa loob ng dalawang buwan ng bumalik si Clint ay mas naging maayos na din ako..  I felt inspired.

I go every day at work with a smile kung minsan ay si Clint pa mismo ang naghahatid sa akin pauwi.  He also starts to regain his lost memories at mas lalo pa akong napapasaya dahil doon.  I also accompany him kapag pumupunta siya sa therapy niya every weekend and I must stay the progress he has is great.

Si Aika lang naman na ang gumugulo sa’min eh…  But he talk to her already, hindi ko na sinabi sa kaniya ang pag-sugod sa’kin ni Aika dahil kaya ko na mang protektahan ang sarili ko… The threats she gave me, I know her,  she will make a move…. But I’m not afraid of her not even an inch…. Err.  That mad woman! Kaasar lang siya!

Today is sunday at gaya ng nakagawian namin sa tuwing natatapos ang therapy niya ay namamasyal kami sa mga lugar na madalas naming puntahan noong mga bata kami…  And today we decided to go on a Mall…

“Ma’am nandiyan na po ang bisita ninyo sa baba…” saad ni ate Mean, isa sa amingnkasambahay.

“I’m coming…” nakangiting saad ko dito kahit hindi naman niya ako nakikita… Well,  masaya naman ako… Lalo na at bumalik na si Clint…

Tinignan ko muli ang repleksiyon ko sa vanity mirror ko,  I’m wearing a casual wear.  I wore a plain blue dress… it was figure hugging and very short. The hem ended at the middle of my thighs. It emphatized my long legs and soft skin.  I After putting a minimal amout of make up ay bumaba na ako sa sala kung nasaan si Clint…

He’s wearing a white long sleeves na nakatupi hanggang siko niya at nakaitim na pants…  He looks so handsome, gosh! Bagay na bagay ang suot niya sa moreno niyang kulay…  Mas kumapal pa ata ang kilay niya kumpara noon… He kiss me on the cheek as I went near him…

“Hey… Ganda…” nakangiting saad niya sa’kin.  Yes,  naalala niya na ang endearment niya sa’kin at para bang na-miss ko ’yon ng sobra-sobra…

“You looks so handsome too… Let’s go?” I asked….

“Mag paalam muna tayo sa Daddy mo…” saad niya at pinuntahan naman namin sina Dad at Calix na nasa Garden….  I kissed Calix on the cheeks and also my Dad. Bumati naman din si Clint sa kanila… Matapos no’n ay umalis na kami….

“Wear your seatbelt, ganda…” saad niya at aayusin ko na sana ng lumapit siya sa’kin at siya na mismo ang nagsuot ng belt ko…  I blushed..  I missed this… He pinch my nose at bumalik na sa driver sit…

“How’s your sleep?”

“Okay lang… I over work yesterday kaya medyo pagod ako..” sagot ko sa kaniya… Hindi niya kasi ako nasundo kahapon sa work dahil may ginawa siya sa opisina.. ..

We’re talking about stuffs at kung minsan ay sabay kaming tumatawa kapag nagjojoke siya ng mga corny na joke…. Literal na corny… I swear…

Ng marating na namin ang Clinic kung saan niya ginagawa ang therapy niya ay kaagad siyang lumabas at pinag-buksan ako ng pintuan…

“You don’t have to do that…” nakasimangot na saad ko dahil kaya ko naman buksan ang pintuan pero knowing Clint he is indeed stubborn kahit na hindi niya pa gaanong nababalik ang memorya niya…

“You are my Queen… Ganda…” He said sweetly at hinawakan na ang kamay ko..  Pinagdaop niya ang mga palad namin….  I smiled…. He is a sweet talker… But the important is sa’kin lang… Wala ng iba…

We went to the clinic at kaagad naman siya sinalubong ng therapist niya…. but not the usual ay siya lang ang pumasok sa loob, na ipinagtaka ko… Kadalasan kasi ay parehas kaming nasa loob ng kwarto kung saan nagaganap ang therapy niya…. Wala naman akong nagawa at nag hintay na lang sa kaniya sa labas….

After a minutes ay lumabas na siya….

“Let’s go…” he said at hinawakan na muli ang kamay ko…. Hindi ko naman maiwasang macurious kung anong nangyari sa loob at kung bakit hindi niya ako isinama ngayon…

“Why didn’t you let me in?” I asked…  He just shrugged his shoulders…

“Come on… Clint…  Is there a problem?” I asked worriedly… Humarap naman siya sa’kin…

“Nothing to worry..  Ganda… Don’t worry a thing…” He said and pinch my cheek…

“Okay….” matapos no’n ay sumakay na kami ng sasakyan at tumungo na sa Mall…

Sa pag pasok namin ay halos makaagaw ng atensiyon ang kasama ko dahil sa itsura niya… Errr.  He is a Hottie right now…  Mapababae at pusong babae ay nakatingin sa kaniya…

“Boys are looking at you… But don’t worry I’ll protect you…” saad niya biglaan at tumingin pa sa paligid… Napatawa naman ako sa sinabi niya…

“Sayo nga eh…  Yung mga babae oh, tingnan mo nakatitig sayo..” saad ko sa kaniya. Nakakatuwa lang dahil parang bumalik na naman kami sa pagkabata…

“Hanggang tingin lang sila….” saad niya at humalik biglaan sa labi ko pero mabilis lang at kinurot ko naman siya…

“Let’s go…” saad ko at pinagdaop niya muli ang mga palad namin…  We decided to watch on the cinema first… Habang bumibili siya ng ticket ay napagdesisyonan kong mag CR muna…  Pagkalabas ko ay may nakabungguan akong babae o Transgender din? I could feel it she’s also a transgender…

“Sorry..  Miss…” saad niya habang dinadampot ang mga nalaglag kong gamit…  Mukhang may tinataguan siya.. She actually looks pretty pero mas mukhang bata siya sa’kin….

“Can I ask for a favor?” she asked…. Tumango naman ako…

“Pag may lalaking nakablack na polo shirt at naka black na hat ang makita mo sa labasan sabihin mo wala kang nakita na naka suot ng ganito.. Thank you talaga at sorry ulit…” saad niya at tinuro ang suot niyang kulay blue na dress….

“Okay.. Wala ’yon… Mauna na ako…” saad ko sa kaniya at pumasok na siya sa loob ng CR….

Habang palabas ay nakasalubong ko nga ang lalakong sinasabi niya pagkalabas ko…

“Ms…. May nakita ka bang pumasok diyan ng naka blue na dress?” He asked at para bang nagmamadali siya para mahanap ang babaeng hinahanap niya…

“Wala eh…  Walang tao sa loob.. Ako lang….” I said at bigla naman bumagsak ang balikat niya..  Omo! Did I made the right decision?

“Anyways,  Thank you…” saad niya….

“Hey!” hindi ko na pansin ang paglapit ni Clint sa amin at masamang tingin ang ipinukol niya sa lalaking kausap ko…  Inilingkis niya pa ang kamay niya sa bewang ko…

“Let’s go BABE…” saad niya at para bang pinapariggan ang lalaki at siniko ko naman ang tagiliran niya…

“Thank you ulit.. Miss.  Sorry sa abala…” saad no’ng lalaki at mabilis na nilisan ang lugar…

“Why did you look at him like that?” I asked Clint pag kaalis ng huli…

“Wala lang…  Akala ko kasi hinihingi yung number mo eh…” saad niya..  Pfftt.  Napaka-immature na naman…

“Hoy! 26 ka na Clint hindi na tayo teenager.” natatawang saad ko…

“Let’s go…” saad niya at ipinakita pa ang Ticket at ang mga pagkain na dala niya…

“Tara…”

Napatingin naman ako sa mamang katabi ko…  He really never changed at all…  Noong mga teenager pa kami ay madalas siya ang umiiyak kapag nanonood kami ng mga palabas na may mga nakakalungkot na scene…  It actually made him cuter and more handsome….

“You really never changed at all.. “ saad ko….

“Don’t laugh…” seryosong saad niya at pinupunasan pa din ang mga luhang lumabas sa mga mata niya..  If anyone would see him… Matatawa at maawa talaga…  Mukha pa din naman siyang gwapo eh,  pero hindi mo lang aakalain na madali siyang maapektuhan ng mga palabas na namamatay ang isa sa mga karakter….

Pero if I would be on that situation also…  Baka hindi ko din kayanin kapag nawala ang partner ko… Noong maaksidente nga si Clint ay halos gumuho ang mundo ko… It will make my world crumpled kapag nawala si Clint….

“Aren’t you done… Ganda?” tanong niya sa’kin, hawak-hawak ni Clint ang mga pinamili ko mula sa mga branded stores. Ngayon na lang din kasi ako nakapamili kaya sinulit ko na…

“Let’s eat…” anunsiyo ko at nag lighten up naman ang mga mata ni Clint… I chuckled on my mind… I made him my kargador…. Haha.

“What do you want?” He asked….

“Anything…” hindi naman ako mapili sa pagkain eh…

“’Doon oh!” saad niya sa restaurant na nag-ooffer ng mga lutong bahay…  I think he has seen the Pinakbet that caught his attention and mine too.

Habang hinihintay ang order namin ay tumunog ang telepono niya…  Noong una ay akala ko ang sa’kin ngunit sa kaniya pala…

“I’ll just answer this call…” saad niya at mabilis na nilisan ang mesa namin… Hindi pa nakakabalik si Clint ng may nag text sa’kin…. Natakot ako ng makita ang larawan ko, sa mismong lugar na kinauupuan ko ngayon at sa mismong oras na nandito ako sa restaurant na ’to…

I look around of the place but there’s nothing suspicious around… Natakot ako bigla…  Should I tell it to Clint? Sinong may gawa nito?  I have my suspicion dahil siya lang naman ang nagbanta sa’kin…. Bring it on…  I’ll face her…  Hindi na siguro kailangan malaman pa ni Clint dahil baka mamaya ay makaapekto pa ’yon sa kaniya…

“What’s wrong ganda?” hindi ko naman namalayan ang pag dating ni Clint kaya dali-dali kong tinago ag Cellphone ko…

Umiling lang ako sa kaniya at ngumiti… He wanted to ask more question pero hindi na natuloy dahil dumating na ang order namin….

Hanggang sa matapos kaming kumain mabuti na lang ay hindi na nagtanong pa si Clint… I really don’t want to worry him…  I’ll just make my own move kung sino man ang nagpadala ng larawan sa’kin kanina…

“See you tom… Ganda… I’ll see you after work… Wag ka na kayang mag trabaho? Sa bahay ka na lang…” saad niya at nag pa cute pa… 

Hinatid niya ako sa bahay dahil madilim na din ang kalangitan.  May trabaho pa ako bukas at ganoon din siya…  Alam ko naman na biro niya lang ang bagay na ’yon eh…

“Not yet… Clint… You know me,  I want to explore more…” saad ko at hinalikan siya sa labi…

“Hmmm.  Magpakasal na kaya tayo?” saad niya na nagpahinto sa akin…  That’s what actually what I’m waiting from him.. Ang mai-kasal ako sa kaniya…

Sasagot na sana ako ng takpan niya ang bibig ko gamit ang isang daliri niya…

“Don’t answer yet…  Ganda…” He said and chuckled napalabi naman ako sa inakto niya at ginulo na naman niya ang buhok ko…

“Sleep well…  Dream of me… Okay? Maaga ka pa sa work bukas… Go inside na…” saad niya…

“Mauna ka na…  I’ll go inside kapag nakalayo na yung car mo…” saad ko..

“Okay… Kiss nga…” saad niya at hindi pa man ako nakakasagot ay hinalikan na niya ako…  Medyo nagtagal ’yon ng kalahating minuto…

Matapos no’n ay nagpaalam na siya at sumakay na sa sasakyan niya…  Nang hindi ko na matanaw ang sasakyan niya ay tsaka lamang ako pumasok ng bahay… Today is a fun day pera na lang sa taong nag padala ng larawan ko kanina…  I must make a move about it.

My whole day had been so hectic,  meetings, reports and many more made me busy the whole day.  Kanina ay pinadalhan ako ni Clint ng Lunch. Clint told me na male-late ang pag sundo niya sa’kin. I told him na ako na lang ang mag-isang uuwi ngayong araw but he didn’t allow me. Hintayin ko na lang daw siya dahil may pupuntahan pa daw kami….

Limang minuto bago ang usapang oras namin ni Clint ay lumabas na ako ng building ng kompanya.. Binati pa ako ng mga ilang employees pag kababa ko. May kadiliman na ang langit pagkalabas ko ng gusali ng kompanya. Habang naglalakad ay tumawag si Clint….

“Hello… Where are you?” He asked at huminto na ako sa tapat ng kalsada ng kompanya… “Wait…” I said at pumunta sa waiting shed sa tabi ng kalsa . When I was about to answer Clint ay bigla na lang may humintong itim na Van sa harapan ko… Shit!

Masyadong mabilis ang pangyayari at ang alam ko na lang ay nasa loob na ako ng Van…  Literal na mga goons na nakabonet ang nga kumuha sa akin…  “Bitiwan… Bitiwan niyo ako! Clint!  Help me! Tulong!” sigaw ko at nag pumiglas pa… Sinubukan kong humingi ng tulong but no one seems to notice me.. Nahulog ko pa ang telepono ko ng sapilitan akong hilahin ng dalawa…

Narinig ko na lang ang nag-aalalang si Clint pero hindi ko na malinaw na maunawaan ang mga sinasabi niya…. “Clint!” I shout…

“Tulong!” I shout again…. But in an instant ay bumalatay ang sakit sa sikmura ko ng suntukin ako ng isa sa mga lalaki…

“Tangina!  Ang ingay mong bakla ka! Ganda mo pa naman! Kaso bakla ka!” saad ng lalaking may kalakihan ang katawan..

“Bitiwan niyo ako!” sigaw ko! Pero bigla na lang may inilabas ang lalaking syringe at tinusok ito sa akin…  Biglang nag dilim ang paningin ko….

One thing for sure ay si Aika ang may kagagawan nito….  Hindi ko alam kung bakit paulit-ulit kaming sinusubukan ng tadhana… It just hurt so much na para bang ayaw kaming gawing masaya..  That the faith deprives us to be together….

Hindi ko alam kung ito na ang huling pagkakataon namin but this time I wanted him to be safe…  If this will be my end…  I’ll gladly accept it basta buhay si Clint….

TB-35

Naramdaman ko ang pagsipa sa akin kaya napamulat ako ng mata… Sinalubong naman ako ng mapang-asar na tingin ni Aika….

“Ano na?! Ilabas mo iyang tapang mo ngayon!” saad niya at sinipa pa ako sa tiyan!

“Arg!” Napaungol naman ako sa sakit ng pagtama ng suot niyang sapatos sa akin. “Tangina mo! Ilabas mo iyang tapang mo!” sigaw niya at tumawa pa na para bang nababaliw na talaga siya….

Nakatingin lang ako sa kaniya…  Suot niya pa ang pulang dress na napakaikli. Tumingin naman ako sa paligid…. Para kaming nasa isang pabrika na matagal ng hindi nagagamit. Puno din ito ng mga kahon na may makakapal na alikabok…

Nakatakip ang mga bunganga ko ng tela… Nakatali ang mga paa at kamay ko habang nakasalampak sa sahig… “Ano?! Ha!  Matapang kang bakla ’di ba?” saad niya at lumapit pa sa akin…  Tinapat niya ang mukha niya sa’kin… “Alam mo kung anong mero’n ngayon?” tanong pa niya at humalakhak pa!

Tinanggal niya ang tali sa bunganga ko, “Sagot!” saad niya. “Baliw ka na talaga!” sigaw ko sa kaniya pero halos mamanhid na ang mukha ko sa sampal niya na halos hindi ko na nabilang….

Tumawa siya matapos ay tumayo mula sa kinauupuan ko…  “Matapang ka! Tangina ka! “ sigaw niya at tinadyakan pa ang tiyan ko ng paulit-ulit…. Hindi pa din siya tumigil hanggang sa mapasalampak na ako sa sahig….

Naramdaman ko na ang paglabas ng dugo sa aking bibig…. Muli siyang lumapit sa akin at hinawakan ng mariin ang magulo ko ng buhok… “Tangina mo ka!  Bakit ba ang kapal ng mukha mong bakla ka? Mang-aagaw ka!” sigaw niya sa mukha ko….

“You… Clint…. Doesn’t… Love you…” nanghihinang saad ko… “Aba!” isang sampal na naman ang tumama sa mukha ko ng sabihin ko ’yon…

“Hindi iyan totoo! Mahal ako ni Clint!  Kung hindi dahil sayo masaya na kami…” nangagalaiting saad niya…

“Alam mo…  Nakakaawa ka… You’re obsessed… Kung mahal mo siya at mahal ka niya… Bakit hindi ikaw yung pinili niya? You should think about it again…  Mag mature ka na, Aika..” nanghihinang saad ko…  Lumaki naman ang mga mata niya ng dahil sa sinabi ko… Isang sampal ulit ang ginawad niya sa’kin…

“Ang kapal ng mukha mo!” Histerikal na sigaw niya at pinagtatadyakan ako…  Parang namanhid na ang buong katawan ko dahil sa sakit…  I didn’t know na ganito hahantong ang lahat… I think what she feels for Clint is not love it’s obsession….

Maya-maya lamang ay tumigil na siya sa pag-tadyak sakin… I could feel blood from different part of my body na tinamaan ng sapatos niya…. Clint…. Help me… Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras na ako nandito. Hindi ko matukoy kung gabi o umaga na dahil hindi ko makita ang labas…

Nakasalampak lamang ang ulo ko sa sahig… Tumigil siya at itinutok sa’kin ang baril na kinuha niya sa kung saan….  I couldn’t think straight anymore dahil sa sakit na nanararmdaman ko… I could feel blood on my mouth….

“You! You should die!” sigaw niya at initunutok sa ulo ko ang baril..  I can’t fight…  I felt weak and vulnerable at the moment…  People will always be this evil.. Lalo na ang mga tao na sarado ang isipin at hindi bukas para sa pagkatalo… It’s just so hard to think na aabot ang lahat sa ganito.. .

“Stop!” A familiar voice rang all over around the place but I slowly open my eyelids to see a familiar built and figure of the man that I love…. It’s  Clint…  He’s here…. Is he alone?

“Don’t do that… I’ll come with you… Just don’t do that…  Please….” Clint said pleadingly, I could feel how afraid he is and gaano siya naawa sa kalagayan ko ngayon…

“Really?” Aika asked amazingly….

“Yes…  I’ll come with you…” saad ni Clint but Aika’s emotion changed instantly….

“No!  That’s not true! You’re lying!” She shouted at itinutok muli ang baril sa ulo ko…

“It’s true…  I’ll come with you… Just don’t hurt her…” Clint asked pleadingly…

“Pakawalan mo na siya, Aika…” saad niya.. . Parang maamong tupa naman si Aika na kinalagan ang tali ko sa kamay at paa…. Halos bumakat ang tali sa kamay at paa ko dahil sa higpit ng pagkakatali nito….

“Wag kang magkakamali dahil na kapaligid lang ang mga tao ko…” nababaliw na bulong niya sa’kin… Napasalampak lang ako sa sahig…  Dahil siguro sa tinurok na gamot nila sa’kin ay mas lalong nanghihina ang katawan ko…. Dumagdag pa ang mga sugat at pasa mula sa pag bugbog sa akin ni Aika…

Tumayo na siya at akmang lalapit na kay Clint ng umalingawngaw ang sirena ng mga pulis…

“Shit!” sigaw ni Clint at galit na galit na humarap kay Clint si Aika at itinutok ang baril dito…

“You’re a Liar, Clint! You’re! Mamatay na lang kayong dalawa!” sigaw niya at akmang babaralin niya na si Clint ng binuhos ko ang lahat ng natitira kong lakas para maharang siya…. Nakipagagawan ako sa kaniya ng baril at umalingawngaw sa paligid ang sunod-sunod na putok ng baril… Narinig ko na lamang ang sigaw ni Clint sa pangalan ko….

“Kaye!” sigaw niya at bago pa ako matumba sa sahig ay nasalo na ako ng mga bisig niya….

Hinawakan ko ang tiyan ko at malakas na pagtagas ng dugo ang nanggagaling sa tiyan ko….

“Kaye… We can do this… Okay?  Kumapit ka lang..” saad niya at hinaplos pa ang pisngi ko..  Umiling lang ako sa kaniya…

“Clint…  Whatever happens, you should be happy… You should live happily… Okay? Without… me…. or with me….  Continue…. Continue your life….. Continue my life…” nanghihinang saad ko…

“No!  Don’t talk like that! You will live! You can’t leave me…” pumatak ang luha sa mga mata ko at gano’n din siya…

“You will live… Promise me? For once, yoy deserve to be happy…. I know you came from a long way…. I know it…  Everything you did is just to protect me… This time… I wanted you to be happy…” saad ko….

“No! No!  Don’t do this Kaye!” sigaw niya, napasuka ulit ako ng dugo at hindi ko na marinig at maintindiihan ang mga sinasabi niya…. One thing for sure…. I wanted him to be happy… May be we’re not for each other in this life time but I’ll find him…  I wanted to be with him…..

……………….

Destiny lead us together….

“Psst. Miss… Panyo… Ang ganda mo pa naman kaso ba’t parang wala kang dibdib?” Nagulat ako ng may biglang isang lalaki na sumulpot kung saan. Nakasuot siya ng short na hanggang tuhod niya. Mapupungay ang mga singkit niyang mga mata at matangos na ilong pero Moreno ang kulay niya.  Hanggang balikat lang yata ako ne’to eh. Mga nasa parehas na edad siguro kami. 

“Wag ka ng umiyak,  pumapanget ka miss eh.” saad niya. Ngayon na lang ulit ako Nakipag-usap sa iba dahil bilang na lang sa daliri ang nakakasalamuha ko. He’s cute actually. Sapilitan niyang nilagay ang panyo sa akin. “Tanggapin mo na, tumutulo na yung uhog mo oh.  Dalaga ka na eh.” saad ng lalaki sa’kin halata na ang pagbibinata ng boses niya at medyo may kalakihan na ang katawan niya kumpara sa petite kong katawa.

“Baka matunaw iyan…” Biglaang saad niya kaya agad akong umiwas at namula ang mukha ko. “Ako nga pala si Clint… Miss?” pagpapakilala niya. Hindi ko alam pero napangiti ako sa kaniya.

“Oh di ba!  Ang ganda mo pag nakangiti ka!” He said.  At ramdam ko ang pamumula ng mukha ko. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya.

“Ako si Louis… Lalaki ako… Dati…” Saad ko at natawa naman ako dahil sa dinugtong ko.  Totoo naman eh…  Lalaki ako… Dati..

“Seryoso? Kaya pala flat chested ka eh…” Saad niya.  Masyado siyang masayahin. Para bang wala siyang pake kung babae o lalaki ako eh.

“Maganda ka naman eh…” Saad niya at sa hindi ko malamang dahilan ay natawa ako bigla.

Naluhaan ko na ’tong panyo mo… Sorry.“ nahihiyang saad ko.

“Na’ko okay lang ’yan,  Louis ganda…” nakangiting saad niya at napangiti na din ako.

“Ba’t ka ba umiiyak?  Dapat lagi kang nakangiti para maganda ka lagi…” saad niya

Naalala ko naman ang mommy ko.

“Yung mommy ko,  tatlong taon na siyang natutulog…” Saad ko.  Mukhang naintindihan naman niya ang gusto kong sabihin kaya tumango lang siya. “Alam mo, yung papa ko nandiyan din… Natutulog din… Pero nanininiwala ako nagigising din sila.  Gigising din yung mommy mo,  tiwala lang, ganda.” malambing na saad niya.  Parang kinikiliti naman ako ng dahil sa sinabi niya.  Sana nga.

“Hindi ka ba naiilang kahit na ganito ako?” I said kadalasan kasi iniiwasan ako lalo na ng mga lalake kong kaibigan.

“Ha?  Sa ganda mong ’yan. Alam mo maganda ka basta ngumiti ka lang lagi ah.” saad niya.

“Saan ka nga…” naputol ang sasabihin niya ng tumunog ang teleponong nasa bulsa niya. May kinausap siya sandali at tumingin ulit sa akin at nagpaalam na kailangan niya ng umalis.

“Paano ba ’yan,  ganda… Kailangan ko ng umalis… Penge ng number mo…  I’ll talk to you again… Soon….”

……….

The sweetest love of all…

In an instant I felt his soft lips against mine,  it was just a touch of lips, he’s not moving, I just love it this way… I really do… Para bang huminto ang paligid…  I close my eyes as we kissed.

Nagkahiwalay lang kami ng humiyaw ang mga kasama namin… Gosh!  Nakakahiya! Nandito pala sila!  Nandito sila all this time! Kita ang saya at pagkamangha sa mukha nila but I felt my cheeks redden.  Dahil sa hiya ay tumayo ako at mabilis na umalis sa bilog na ginawa namin…

Wah!  He’s my first kiss for Pete’s sake! I love him!  Confirmed but at this moment hindi ko na kayang magtagal pa doon.  Mabilis akong naglakad. Hindi na ako tumingin patalikod pa.  Nakakahiya! Nakakahiya talaga!

Kahit na tinawag nila at ni Clint ang pangalan ko ay hindi na ako lumingon pa. Nakakahiya talaga!

Pero bago pa ako makapasok sa Villa ay malalakas na kamay ang humila sa’kin. He hugged me. He caressed my hair while hugging me… Is it fast?  I don’t know!  But I think he will ask me to be his girlfriend na? Omo!  Ayokong umasa….

“Don’t be shy,  ganda…”  malambing na saad niya.  Hindi ko na malayan na nakayakap na din pala ang mga kamay ko sa kaniya. I can feel his chest, his heart is pounding fast same with mine.

Wah! Is it because of me? This man!  Undeniably, I really love him…

“I won’t ask you yet to be my girlfriend… I just wanted you to know that I really meant that kiss…  I’m sorry…  If I kissed you… But I mean it… I really love all things about you…  I don’t know when it started but every time I’m with you,  I can’t contain my heart. When I ask you to be my girlfriend I wanted it to be special…  I wanted to make it perfect…  Understood? Will you wait for me…  Ganda?” He said sweetly while his big arms are around my body.  He’s tall! Indeed!

I just nodded with his words… I believe him…  That kiss wouldn’t be a waste….

……….

Tumingin ako sa paligid ngunit wala naman ni isang nandito pero pagkatalikod ko ay nakita ko si Clint.  He’s smiling from ear to ear while holding his guitar and a bokay of white roses. Omo!  He’s so hot in his board short and his white polo na hindi nakabutones ang dalawang nasa unahan.  Gosh!  He looks so handsome…

Kaya ba?  Kaya ba niya hindi ako pinansin kanina dahil may plano siyang ganito?  Omo!  Ang corny niya sa part na ’yon pero kinikilig ako.  Gosh!  What did I do to deserve this man? Eh nagmaldita lang naman ako dati eh. 

He’s looking at me intently hanggang sa sinimulan niyang i-strum ang gitara niya.  Omo!  Mukhang napapadalas ang pagiging singer niya ah!

“Wise men say

Only fools rush in

But I can’t help falling in love with you

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin

If I can’t help falling in love with you?“

I just stood to the place where I am…  With his voice…  Para bang gustong kumawala ng puso ko sa rib cage ko!  God! What should I do…. His emotions… Mararamdaman mo yung gusto niyang sabihin…

“Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be.“

If what I’m feeling right now is love, it’s amazing!  It’s indeed one of the great emotion that we could feel as human. No doubt,  I’m falling deeper and deeper to Clint.  I don’t know how and when,  nangyari na lang!

Take my hand

Take my whole life too

For I can’t help falling in love with you

I don’t know but my tears suddenly fell from my eyes.  I could feel his emotions.  It’s just so overwhelming… Who would have thought na ang isang bakla na unti-unti ng nagiging babae ay makakaranas ng ganitong bagay?  Gosh!  If it’s just a dream parang ayoko na lang magising.

Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be

Ng nasa harap ko na siya ay pinunasan niya ang luha ko habang kumakanta and with that ibinaba na niya ang gitara niya… Gosh! Naiiyak ako… I’m shock when he hugged me, so tight that I could feel his hard chest.

Take my hand

Take my whole life too

For I can’t help falling in love with you

For I can’t help falling in love with you

Pabulong na kanta niya sa tenga ko… My gosh!  My heart! I’m doomed…

“Kaye,  would you take my hand? Would you take my whole life too?” He asked but I just stood frozen when he suddenly kneel on the sand.  Oh Gosh! Wedding proposal na pala agad hindi man lang ako na inform.  Eme!

“I want to marry you…” What?  Kasal agad?  Omo! Okay!  That’s just so smooth!  My ghad!  Kinilig ako do’n ah kahit na naiiyak na ako.

“I wanna be your boyfriend, your partner,  your husband, your everything… But I’ll do it step by step… Kaye… Can I be your boyfriend?” That moment, I knew,  I’m sure, that I wanted him to be part of my life….

I wanted to grow with him beside me. I wanted to build my dreams with him.  The man who accept my flaws and imperfections… It’s not even a wedding proposal but it feels like that.. Because I know, I can feel that I wanted to be with this man forever….

“Yes!” I said then he stand up and hugged me. “I love you… Ganda…” He said… Before I could even answer he kissed me, his kissed are so sweet!  Nakakaadik! Gosh!  At first it was just a peck untill he slid hiis tounge on my mouth… I felt his lips smiled… He deepen his kisses that I could feel I can’t breath anymore… He stop…

“I’ll promise that I will be the best boyfriend ever…” He said at hinalikan ulit ako…. 

Okay lang naman ’di ba?  As long as you could feel that you love each other then take the next stage. Label your relationship… No one could dictate when our hearts will be inlove… But as long as both of you respect and love each other very much… Your relationship would grow stronger and better.

I won’t enter a relationship without respect… Because love must come along with respect…  If things will go wrong… I’m wishing it won’t…. I just wish….

………… Trial came on our way…..

“Kaye, Clint is fighting with someone in the court…” He said.  At first I just stood where I am.  And suddenly I panicked… I run out of the room hurriedly.

“Why?  What happened?” I asked worriedly…

“I’ve heard he punched one of his mate…” I run as fast as I can… I didn’t give a damn on the questioning looks of others…. Bat walang umaawat? I thought…

Ng makarating kami kung nasaan si Clint ay hinawi ko ang mga taong naka harang at nanonood lang sa away mula sa loob…

“Fuck you! I won’t stoop on that level but you’re a bullshit! Bastusin mo na ako wag lang si Kaye…” I’ve heard him say as I saw him fighting with one of his team mate…

Nakita ko ang mga larawan na nakakalat sa buong paligid ng gymnasium, it was our photos,  hindi ko alam kung saan ’to galing but it was our photos!  Tangina!  I don’t care anymore kung malaman nila ang relasyon namin.  But seeing Clint on this, it breaks me.

Putok na ang labi ni Clint habang pinipigilan siya ng iba niya pang ka team mate…  The guy who fought with him is laying on the floor.. . He made damaged on that guy…

I walk near on him and as I stood in front of him… Unti-unti ng lumambot ang mukha niya…. I hugged him,  tight as I can….  Seeing him like this makes me love him even more. He fought for me,  he fought for our relationship! My ghad…

Habang nakayakap sa kaniya ay nagsalita ulit ang ka team mate niya, if I’m not mistaken he’s Ben….

“Ha! Magkano ba ang bayad sayo ni Kaye?  Magkano ulit? Tangina siguro yumaman ka ng hinayupak ka!” sigaw noong lalaki..

“Kaya ka lang naman kumakapit kay Kaye dahil mayaman siya, gago!” nag pantig ang tenga at walang sabi-sabing sinampal si Ben… Halos mamanhid ang kamay ko ng dahil sa sampal na ginawad ko sa kaniya….

I can’t show them my weak side…. I just can’t… Nakita ko sa kabilang dulo si Aika na katayo at parang tuwang-tuwa sa palabas na pinapanood niya.

“Tangina mo!  Gago ka! Your worst than a trash!” I vented on him….

…….

Faith separate our ways…

“Hey… Happy Anniversary…” I said and hugged him tight pero hindi siya tumugon sa mga yakap ko…  I was about to kiss his lips pero iniwas niya yung mukha niya…. It’s hurting inside…  But I tried my best not to show him na nasasaktan ako…  Kaya ko pa…  Kaya ko pang itago ang sakit… Gano’n naman yung kailangan minsan di ba?  Magtiis?  Hindi naman natin kailangang laging masaya lang….

“Kumain ka na ba? I ordered food kumain muna tayo…” I askes hurriedly but he didn’t respond mero’n na naman siyang pasa sa gilid ng labi niya…

“Anong nangyari diyan?” I asked at hahawakan ko sana ang gilid ng labi niya pero mabilis niyang himawakan ang kamay ko…

“Please…  Don’t waste my time… Pwede ba?  Umayos ka nga Kaye… Naiinis na ako!  Andami mong napupuna!” He blurted suddenly para naman akong natigagal sa kinatatayuan ko at dahan dahang ibinaba ang kamay ko…  This is not right….

“B-ba’t mo ba ginagawa sa’kin ’to? M-may nagawa ba akong mali?  Sabihin mo naman sakin Clint oh.. Nagmumukha na kasi akong tanga…” I tried my best not to cry in front of him but I can’t, I failed…  Unti-unting pumapatak ang mga luha sa mata ko…

“Tinatanong mo ako kung bakit?” He laughed sarcastically… My heart is starting to broke in to pieces…

“Gusto mo na bang makipaghiwalay? Ako kasi gusto ko na…” Walang bahid ng kasinungalingang saad niya but I didn’t believe on it… I won’t… Never!

“No.. Clint…  Ofcourse not!” I said… Gosh! Baka kasi umiiyak ako…  I wiped my face instantly… “Clint… Please…  Don’t say that again…” I hugged him tight… Please.. . Don’t break up with me… .

“Clint tell me?  Ako ba ang may problema? Please I’ll change…  Hindi ko na gagawin yung mga bagay na ayaw mo… “ I pleaded. I tried to kiss him again but this time he pushed me…

“Clint naman!  Tangina! Ano bang problema mo?” Sigaw ko sa kaniya….

“Promblema ko? Ikaw! Nakakahiya ka! Satingin mo ba mahal kita? Nakakasawa ka!  Masiyado kang immature! Sawang sawa na ako sayo!  Sa totoo nga niyan gusto ko lang naman makipag try na makipag-sex sayo eh…  Pero tangina nakakasawa ka!” sigaw niya sakin….

I felt my body trembled on his words…  I can’t believe it… I thought we made love…  I thought it’s not just lust…  Pero ano ’to?  Puta ang sakit…

“No… Cliny… No!  You’re just kiddin right? Please…  Clint… Wag mong sasabihin ’yon..” He cutted me….

“Maghiwalay na tayo….” He said… Para bang nabingi ako… Para bang unti-unti ng dinudurog ang puso ko….

“W-what?” I asked again, Hoping that I’ve heard him wrong….

“Let’s break up!  Puta!  Saan ba doon ang hindi mo maunawaan? LET’S. BREAK. UP!” sigaw niya sa’kin….

I can’t bear it… My world crumpled in to pieces… Para bang isang basura lang ako na pwede ng palitan…

“Ayaw ko na sayo! Mabubuntis ka ba ha?  Kahit ilang ulit pa tayong sex!  Walang mangyayari!  Kasi-…” I cutted him off with a slap…  Halos mamanhid ang kamay ko sa sampal na binigay ko sa kaniya….

……

Time brought back us again….

“What do you want?” I asked with annoyance… I couldn’t even stand him on a same place! My blood is boiling for Pete’s sake!

“Kaye… Please… Let me explain…” nagmamadali siyang tumayo at pumunta sa’kin para bang Punong-puno ng lungkot at pangungulila ang mga mata niya..  No Kaye!  That’s just his trick! Fuck! 

Nagulat ako ng bigla niya akong yakapin… My body stiffened… My body felt a familiar feeling…  But NO!  Not now and not ever again!

I pushed him but he’s so strong…

“Kaye… I miss you… Ganda…  I really do…” He said while pleading…

“Puta!  Nababaliw ka na ba?” I asked his body stiffened as I shout on him! I pushed him right away at umalingawngaw sa buong conference room ang mag-asawang sampal na ginawad ko sa kaniya…

I looked on him coldly… “Don’t you ever dare touch me…” I said then glare on him…

His body is in shock…  I know…  I’m not that physical… But he push me on that level..

“What do you want to talk about Mr.  Montenegro? If it’s not business then don’t you ever show up your face on me…” I said and warned him…  Kita ko pa din ang lungkot at pangungulila sa mga mata niya…  Halos hindi mo makikita na ang malaking taong gaya niya ay puno ng lungkot at pangungulila ang mga mata.. But I just shoo it away…

“Kaye… Please… Now you’re back… I wanted to-…” when he hold my hand I slapped him again….

“Fuck reasons!  Let’s be civil…  Mr. Montenegro… We don’t have anything personal to talk to…” I said…. I fixed my blazer and skirt before leaving him alone…

…….

Second chance were given on us…

“I shouldn’t left you behind… I know wala ng silbi ang mga sasabihin ko sayo but still I wanted you to know…  That I love you… Mahal kita mula noon hanggang ngayon… Kaye…” saad niya at ramdam ko ang pagpipigil niya sa emosyon niya…

“I-I shouldn’t have let him dictate me… I shouldn’t… Walang segundo, minuto,  oras, araw, buwan at taon ang lumipas na hindi ko pinagsisisihan ang naging desisyon ko…  I know…  I’m a coward…  I’m a coward for hurting the girl that I love…  I’m sorry…” hindi ko alam but there’s something on me na gusto siyang i-comfort ngayon…  He’s crying… He’s crying! Fuck!

“Ang bobo ko… Ang sama-sama ko!  Napaka selfish ko kas… Kasi… Sinaktan kita… Araw-araw hindi ka nawala sa isip ko… Ikaw…  Ikaw…  Yung rason kung bakit patuloy pa din akong bumabangon…  Sana nga panaginip na lang yung pag-iwan ko sayo…  Sana…” he cried…  I just stay stilled pero ramdam ko ang pamamasa ng mga mata ko….

“Ipinangako ko na kapag dumating na ang tamang panahon na pwede na tayo ay magkakasama tayo ulit… But I was wrong…  I’m late… You don’t love me anymore… I hurt you… I know… I’m sorry… Kaye ko…  Ganda…  Sorry…” He said and wiped my tears… But I can’t hold him too…  I might lose my control to myself pag hinawakan ko siya…

“I wanted us to grow together… To live together… To be successful together… But faith didn’t allow us… Sabi nila there’s always right time pero mukhang walang tamang oras sa’kin… Dahil…  Dahil yung mahal ko ay may mahal ng iba… I’m not saying this for you to forgive me…  I just want to lift the burden I gave you for seven years.. . I know.. . I hurt you… I really do… I’m a bullshit…  I know it… Deserve ko lahat ng sampal mo…  Deserve ko ’yon… But I know this time I need to set you free…  I know…  You love someone else now… Pero umasa pa din ako…” Pagak na napatawa naman siya at pinunasan ang mga luhang lumabas sa mga mata niya…

Tears are flowing from my eyes… I can’t make a decision that I’ll regret sooner or later… Christopher is with me…  We’re together….

“Sorry Kaye… Sorry kung kailangan kong piliing saktan ka at iwan ka… I’m sorry.. Kaye… Sana mapatawad mo ako… Pero I wanted you to know na mahal na mahal kita…  Ikaw lang… Wala ng iba…” saad niya… Pero pinilit niyang ayusin ang sarili niya bago magpatuloy….

Kaye… Don’t hold him…  You will lose your control… You can’t… You won’t…

“My mom.. .. Bumalik ang sakit niya sa puso… We need money… So Bad… Ayaw man ng magulang ko na lumapit sa tatay ko… Kailangan… Dahil kung hindi ay baka wala na siya ngayon…. I went to my biological Dad, Simoun Silverio… He’s evil…  I know it… Kapalit ng perang ibinigay niya samin ay ang pagtira ko sa kaniya… That’s absurd…  I know… But I have no choice… Lalo na ng… ng pinapatay niya ang Papa Ben… I couldn’t do anything… We’re just nothing compare to him… I’m sorry Kaye… Sorry… Sorry Ganda… But I want you to know…  Na hindi ka nakakasawa, na ikaw yung babaeng gusto kong mapangasawa…  Wala akong pake sa iba…  Sayo lang…” saad niya…  I felt a pang of pain in my heart at the same time parang lumuwag din ang pakiramdam ko…  I just cried…. I cant hold nor touch him…  I can’t…

“You’re forgiven… Clint… I understand you…. Pero… “ I said pero pinutol niya ako…

“Please give me a chance… Just spare me more time…  Konti na lang.. Kaye…  Konti na lang..” naiiyak na saad niya..

“Pero may kaniya-kaniya na tayong buhay…. Clint… Sorry…” saad ko…

“No!  No! Kaye.. We will fix this… Bigyan mo lang ako ng oras… Hold there tight please.. I love you, I always do….” saad niya…

……

But things were not easy for the both of us…  Palagi kaming hinahamon ng tadhana. Kahit na mahirap ayokong sumuko dahil siya ang lalaking mahal ko…  Faith comes on our way para mapaghiwalay kami but it brought us back again through time….

Totoo nga ang sabi nila, once you’re dealing with kamatayan para bang bumabalik ang lahat ng mga alalaala mo. Masaya man o hindi….

May nga desisyon tayo sa buhay na maaring pagsisihan natin bandang huli… Mistake is not the problem ang importante ay natuto ka sa pagkakamaling nagawa mo… Clint and I, we’re for each other…. Hadlangan man kami ng mundo,  lalaban pa din ako hangga’t lumalaban siya….

He’s my life and everything… Naging rollercoaster man ang buhay namin… I’m happy… I’m happy that I love him and he loves me….

He will be forever in my heart… Umabot man kami sa kabilang buhay ay siya pa din ang pipiliin at hahanapin ko….

Subukin man ulit kami ng panahon ay siya pa din hanggang dulo… Siya lang ang mahal ko…. Mula noon hanggang ngayon… Siya lang…

………………….

Hey,  Gals!

I’ll be uploading Epilogue soon… Thank you! My heart is so full of happiness! I am really thankful to all of you, Gals!

Hindi ko naisip na there will be people na mag babasa ng story na gagawin ko…  I’m just happy…  I know maraming corny na scene pero thank you for giving me a chance to become a frustrated Author… Literally… Char..

Kiddin’ aside, Thank y’all! I love you!

Epilogue

Clint’s day of accident…

Pagod man sa buong araw ay napag desisyunan ko pa ding puntahan si Kaye.  Ginawa ko ang lahat para maging maayos na ang mga bagay-bagay. Itinigil ko na ang larong ginawa ng daddy at ni Aika. My dad,  It’s painful for me also para ipakulong siya dahil kahit papaano ay kung wala siya ay wala din ako.

But my dad is really evil,  he tried to kill Kaye’s family… Doon ako natakot ng sobra. Doon ko naramamdaman kung gaano ako kahina.

My Dad is powerful, noong nalaman niya na may relasyon ako sa anak ni Mr. Ferdinand Brent ay ginawa niya ang lahat para pagbantaan ako at takutin na kapag hindi ko hiniwalayan si Kaye ay hindi ko magugustuhan ang mangyayari sa pamilya ko at pamilya ni Kaye….

Hindi man magaan sa loob ko nasaktan si Kaye but I needed to do it…  Kailangan kong hiwalayan si Kaye… .

After we broke up I really worked my ass off para maging successful, I abled to venture and build my own company. Sa loob ng pitong taon ginawa ko ang lahat para maging matagumpay sa buhay.

Because I promised the next time I met Kaye ay ipaglalaban ko na siya at kaya ko na siyang protektahan.

Kahit na mag kahiwalay kami,  my love become stronger for her. She’s mine,  only mine! Sa loob ng pitong taon ay tiniis ko ang mapalayo sa kaniya, tiniis kong hindi siya makasama, tiniis ko lahat ’yon!

Because the real love knows how to bear with the pain of waiting.

There are times na lumilipad ako papunta sa NY just to see her…. Pero hindi ako nagpapakita sa kaniya…  Walang nakakaalam no’n because I wanted to protect her…  I wanted to make the best out of waiting….

The moment I’ve heard na bumalik na siya ng Pinas ay para bang gustong sumabog ng puso ko sa saya at tuwa… 

Because I know the moment she landed her feet in this country ay gagawin ko ang lahat to win her back. 

All the years ay siya lang ang gusto ko at mahal ko,  mula noon hanggang ngayon ay siya lang at wala ng iba pa.

I secretly worked with the Hotel and Resort that they are building at Boracay… I really did my best para kami ang piliin ng tita niya to cater the needs of Interior and exterior furnitures of the Hotel kahit na I lessen their materials fifty percent off.

Yeah,  that’s how crazy I am. The moment her auntie approved with it, I know that’s the start of my plan. And my plan will succeed… I know it….

Hindi nga ako nag kamali sa naging desisyon ko… Tiniis ko ang lahat ng mga salitang sinabi niya sa’kin… Tiniis ko ang mga sampal niya sa’kin… Tiniis ko lahat ’yon…

Things we’re not easy for both of us…  She’s hurting that time… I knew it…  I hurt her… Kahit na unintentionally ko yung nagawa alam kong nasaktan ko siya…

I really worked my ass off para mapatawad niya ako… The day na nalaman niya ang katotohanan ay doon pa lang masaya na ako….

And today,  It’s official… I can protect her from my dad and I already cut my ties with Aika…

Hindi pa man ako nakakaharap ng gate nila  Kaye ay hininto ko na ang sasakyan ko… My heart skip a beat when I saw her hugging and kissing Chris…

Tears suddenly flew from my eyes…  Para bang dinurog ako ng paulit-ulit… I thought maayos na ang lahat…  But how it can be? Kung ang babaeng mahal ko ay may mahal ng iba….

Sobrang sakit….

Bago pa man nila ako makita ay bumalik na ako sa sasakyan ko…  I went home… Umuwi ako ng bahay….

Halos maubos ko na ang lahat ng alak sa bahay…. My mom kept telling me na huminto na but I didn’t listen to her…  Hindi ko na alam ang mga sinasabi ko but one thing for sure…  It’s how painful for me to see Kaye hugging and kissing another guy…

May be she really love that Chris… May be…

Hindi ko nabilang ang oras ng pag-inom ko…  Sumikat na ang haring araw pero parang hindi ko na maramdaman ang sarili kong katawan…

I forced myself driving my car kahit wala na ako sa katinuan…  I wanted to see Kaye…  I wanted to go and see her…. Gusto ko siyang pilitin na ako ang piliin niya… Na ako na lang ulit…

Kahit ayaw niya na, gusto kong maging selfish this time….  Kaye is mine! Obsessed or what so ever… I love her….

Sounds gay but that’s how I love my only Kaye…. I drove my car as fast as I could..

Untill….

Everything went black.

May be… Just may be… It’s better to be dead…  Than to not have the love of my life…

I woke up like a blank paper…. But as time pass by… I remember my childhood… But there’s something missing….  I know it….

And it’s Kaye….

The girl who willingly gave herself to me…. The girl whom I want to be with ’till death us do as apart…

My love…

My life….

Fast-forward…

The day the I remember her fully is the best day ever….

The day we went to the hospital I know to my self that I fully recovered from the accident…

My memories with her… Came back… It’s God’s grace and love for both of us…

But the day that I wanted to propose to her became the day that I feared the most…

“Kaye!? Kaye! Answer me!  Damn!” the call has been disconnected… Fúck!

It took mo hours to locate her… And in that damn hours I felt like I’m loosing… Every seconds and minutes kills me….

I contacted every connections that I have…  The whole country is in search…. The power of money… I stop the operations of every transportation in the air and water….

I won’t let it pass….

I know someone who could do this…

It’s Aika… She threatened me but I didn’t listen to her…  And now Kaye’s gone… I wont let it slide!

Matapos namin mapatumpa ang mga nasa labas na tauhan ni Aika…  Ay wala akong pinalampas na oras….

I hurriedly made my way to the inside of the old factory of Aika’s family….

My heart tore in to pieces as I see my Kaye… My Ganda…  She’s severely damaged…

“Putangina!” naibulalas ko…

“You! You should die!” sigaw ni Aika…

Kaagad na nagtagis ang mga ngipin ko. Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko ng tutukan niya ng baril sa ulo si Kaye….

“Stop!” I shouted…  Aika look to me, she’s in rage…

“Don’t do that… I’ll come with you… Just don’t do that…  Please….” I plead…  This is tye only way I could think…  I can’t lose my chance… Aika’s dangerous…

“Really?” Aika asked amazingly to me…. I nodded.. M

“Yes…  I’ll come with you…” saad ko at I am afraid for Kaye not for my self….

“No!  That’s not true! You’re lying!” She shouted at itinutok muli ang baril sa ulo ni Kaye… I stiffened!

“It’s true…  I’ll come with you… Just don’t hurt her…” I asked pleadingly again… Kulang na lang ay lumuhod ako….  I don’t want her Kaye to suffer again…

“Pakawalan mo na siya, Aika… I’ll go with you…” saad ko.. Kita ko ang hirap at sakit sa mga mata ni Kaye pero ramdam ko ang takot niya para sa’kin… She shook her head kahit ng hihina na siya.

Tumayo na siya at akmang lalapit na kay Clint ng umalingawngaw ang sirena ng mga pulis…

“Shit!” sigaw ko…  Puta!  They shouldn’t have done that!  Mga late na nga!  Sinira pa ang plano ko!

“You’re a Liar, Clint! You’re! Mamatay na lang kayong dalawa!” sigaw niya at akmang babaralin niya na ako ng biglang buong lakas na tumayo si Kaye…

“Kaye! Kaye!”

Nakipagagawan si Kaye sa kaniya ng baril kasunod ang sunod-sunod na putok ng baril…

Natigil ang dalawa…. May lumabas na dugo sa labi ni Aika pero hindi ko makita si Kaye dahil nakatalikod sila mula sa’kin…

My body stiffened ng bigla na lang natumba si Kaye.. .

“Kaye!” sigaw ko at bago pa siya matumba ay mabilis kong natakbo ang pagitan natin..

“Kaye… We can do this… Okay?  Kumapit ka lang..” Mahinahong saad ko sa kaniya habang masuyong hinahawakan ang kaniyang mukha…

“Clint…  Whatever happens, you should be happy… You should live happily… Okay? Without… me…. or with me….  Continue…. Continue your life….. Continue my life…” nanghihinang saad niya …

But I refused to listen… I won’t… I can’t live without ger….

“No!  Don’t talk like that! You will live! You can’t leave me…” pumatak ang luha sa mga mata ko.

“You will live… Promise me? For once, you deserve to be happy…. I know you came from a long way…. I know it…  Everything you did is just to protect me… This time… I wanted you to be happy…” saad niya….

“No! No!  Don’t do this Kaye!” sigaw ko, napasuka ulit siya ng dugo.

“Kaye! Kaye! Please hold on!” wala na siyang malay pero hawak ko ang parte ng may tama sa kaniya…

“Bilisan niyo!” sigaw ko at kaagad naman siyang inasikaso ng mga paramedic…

Aika’s seems lifeless but I don’t care about her anymore… Kaye’s my priority….

Dapat masaya yung araw na ’to…

Dapat masaya kami…

God, please let her live… Let my love live… Our relationship might look like a mistake but I know…  It’s God’s will… That everyone deserves to be love…

Please…  Spare her to me! Please! Sigaw ko sa isip ko…

Kinuha ko ang singsing sa bulsa ko at bago pa siya maipasok sa operating room ay nasuot ko na ’yon sa kaniya….

“I’ll marry you… Please… Live…. My ganda…” I said pleadingly….

“Sir, hanggang dito na lang po kayo…” saad ng nurse at hindi na ako pinapasok… It kills me…. It kills me inside….

Kaagad naman akong dinaluhan ng mga kaibigan namin,  ng pamilko at ng pamilya ni Kaye…

I felt coward from his father… Pakiramdaman ko hindi ko naprotektahan ang anak niya…  But he told me Kaye is a fighter… And a fighter will never lose a game….

….

Author’s

Nagkakagulo ang loob ng operating room. Marami ng dugo ang nawala sa pasiyente….

They able to remove the bullets but…

“Charge!” The doctor shouted… On the last charge of the defibrillator ay tuluyan na ngang nag diretso ang linya…

Kasabay no’n ang pagbagsak ng mga balikat ng mga doctor at nurse sa loob ng operating room na para bang natalo sila sa laban kay kamatayan…

“T-time of death… Eleven fifty-nine pm.”

….

Death could change everything…

Death is inevitable..

The time of our life is limited… We can’t stay here in this world forever….

No matter what actually awaits on us after death, it would be something entirely different from what we used to in life.

We shouldn’t think about death all the time; but thinking about the limited time is a must.

We can’t stay in this world forever.

“Live your life to the fullest.”

We always here that we should live life to the fullest… And it’s true…  All of us will leave in no time…

Live your life with a purpose…

Dahil walang pinipili ang kamatayan… Maging bata o matanda ka man….

People would always think that being transgender is wrong… But it’s not…

Freeing yourself will be the best choice… My life as a transgender is not easy as you think… But I can say,  I able to free and live my life to the fullest.. .

Gaano man kadami ang pagsubok ang dumaan sa buhay natin we shouldn’t waste our life…

We should hold on our purpose…

Do everything habang buhay ka,  do everything that could make you happy and free….

Don’t mind what other people will say! Because it is not wrong to be you! The true you!

….

Inilipag ko ang mga bulaklak sa harap ng puntod niya… It has been a year ng mawala siya…

Alam kong nag mahal lang siya…. But the thing is… Her love became obsession… Obsession that could destroy anyone….

Pinatawad ko na siya…

Aika died on the operating room the day the incident happened… My life is also in the middle… But I survive! And I thank God for it!

That He gave me another chance to live with this man beside me…

Aika…

‘Kung nasaan ka man ngayon… Sana masaya ka na… Sana masaya ka…’ a tear escape from eyes…

It traumatized me… But in no time I will get through it… I will pass through it…

“Let’s go?” My fiancé asked me… My Clint…

“Let’s go…” saad ko at hinawakan niya ang kamay ko….

Thanks, God! Thank you for giving this man beside me… Thank you for giving me the chance to be a Betrothed Transgender… To marry the love of my life…

The End.

….

Hello,  Gals!  We came to an end, thank you! Thank you to all! I hope that this story gave you something in return. I love you all! Thank you for reading my story! I couldn’t contain the happiness that I’m feeling right now… 

I just really wanted to write this story… To inspire my self and other people specially the LGBTQIA+ community!

Always remember, we all deserve to be love! We should treat ourselves as a ton of gold! We are not worth nothing! We are all worthy!

No matter what life gave us, don’t give up!  Because time will come, God will give us the reward for fighting.

I LOVE YOU ALL! THANK YOU,  GALS! ❤

@KabyTheDreamer

Ps.  Special chapter/s to be published soon!

SPECIAL CHAPTER

We, Humans, fall in love in a very natural way.

No force needed to make someone fall in love on us.

No magic, No potion, and most of all no rituals. Just love!

What really drives us human to fall in love is the attraction we have for that person we can call our ‘own’.

The way can be smooth or hard, but one thing for sure you will be able to find someone that could love you for who you are.

Someone who could wait for you.

Someone who will make you stronger.

Someone who will make you grow.

Someone that could make you complete.

Love is not about the gender; it is about the emotions and feelings.

It is not about being ‘man’ or ‘woman’, it is about love.

You won’t ask about what has been missing to that person, what you need to ask is the thing that you both could improve.

As I walk in the aisle beside my father and brother, I could feel how my knees tremble. But no, it’s not because I am afraid to what might lead me at the end of this way.

There are hundreds of people here, but he is the only person I could see.

The shine and lit on his eyes make everything wonderful.

This is it! My man will be my husband!

“I love you sweety…”

I heard my dad said. I don’t want to cry but I know any moment now, my tears will fall.

“I love you too, Dad…”

I said sweetly.

All of our family and friends are here. This is the day we will tie the knot. I will be an official, Mrs. Montenegro.

I could see the excitement on his eyes, and so am I.

It took as a year before we could finally have this day.

And my heart is in rage of joy! I couldn’t explain in words how excited and happy I am.

Hindi ko namalayan na nasa harapan niya na pala ako, he’s reaching my hand and my father guided me through him.

“Keep her and love her, you know what consequence might happen once you hurt her…”

My dad said with power. His power is eminent kahit na nasa wheelchair siya. He never loses his aura.

“

Yes, Dad…“

Clint answer.

A sly smile formed in to my lips. Dad has been provoking Clint since then. But Clint couldn’t do a thing or two because of Dad.

My dad and my brother hugged me tightly before letting me go…

“I will always be here ate..”

Calix told me. How cute! He is only ten years old but he acts like an older brother to me.

“I know baby…”

I said and he let go my hands.

Clint reached my hand sweetly… This man, he looks stunning on his tux. He is handsome as always!

“I missed you, ganda…”

He whispered ng magkalapit na kami.

“I missed you…” We

both heard the laugh and teases of our friends. But I do not care. They are always like that anyways!

And the wedding procession happen…

“I, Clint, take thee, Kaye, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.”

He paused and continued….

“Today, I take my place as your husband. May our days be long, and may be seasoned

with faith, love and understanding and respect forever and ever. Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives, my wife. No matter how hard our life will be, I will always choose to stand beside you. I choose to spent today, and all of my tomorrows, with you! You will be the mother of our children and you will always be my companion. Ganda, I will never ever leave you my wife, until death do us a part… I love you!“

My tears fell instantly as I hear his word of love. He always has been vocal about his feelings but this feeling is new for me.

“I, Kaye, take thee, Clint, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.”

I could feel the tremble on my lips while pronouncing our vows and promises.

He held my hand tightly…

“Clint, the strength of my life. I know trials always come on our way but you chose to fight and so am I. I chose to stay beside you because I love you. You are the man that could make me feel more than enough…. I thought this day will just be a dream for someone like me… But no, it is not. Because you are there and you are my Clint. The one who could I spend the rest of my life with. The father of my children. I love you, pogi…”

“Bride and Groom, you have heard the words about love and marriage, have exchanged your vows and made your promises, and celebrated your union with the giving and receiving of rings.”

He paused and look at the both of us…

“It is at this time that I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride!”

And in an instant a deep and passionate kiss enveloped my lips. The happiness, the joy and the unnamed emotions are all over my body. Para bang nasa alipaap ako. We kissed uncountable times but this one is different.

It is like the kissed of forever, my forever.

I am not the Betrothed Transgender anymore; I am now married!

When does really life starts?

Life starts every day. You should always live your life to the fullest each moment. Make things that would make you happy. Choose things that would make you complete. Be complete!

No one is exempted of the trials of life. Me, you and all of us, we are all subject of it!

Stand strong and stay strong…

God wouldn’t let you face trials na hindi mo kayang malampasan. God believes on you, so you must reciprocate on it.

Never ever let anyone to dictate what should be you…. Let your self-control you…

The happiness will always follow…

Clint and I, will stay, will remain and will love each other forever.

Indubitably, everything passes through… But you’re love ones will stay beside you… This is it! The journey ’till the rest of our lives…

I look at the sea, it calms as me. I never thought that this fulfilment is possible… I never thought human were able to feel this overflowing joy every day.

It has been years since we tied the knot… Everything seems really fast when you are happy…

I am happy!

Two small hands held both of my hand tight… I look at the both of them…

The greatest gifts that I have… My children.

Joziah and Amira… My prince and princess…

I was about to ask them kung nasaan ang daddy nila ng biglang may yumakap na malalaking kamay sa tiyan ko. I instantly smell his manly fragrance that enveloped my nose, my husband!

“What are you doing here alone, My wife?”

He asked sweetly…

I look at him and give him a big smile…

I didn’t answer… Because he knows the answer already…

It’s because of them…

We were both shock when both of our kids run through the water… They are laughing on us ng nagtampisaw sila sa tubig….

“Both of you, kakaligo niyo lang kanina…”

saad ko… But their daddy let them do their thing at tinawanan lang ako. Bumitaw siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin at pumunta sa mga bata.

He whispered to the ears of our children. And in an instant the three of them splash me with water…

I immediately run toward them and splash them with water also. Four of us just laugh with joy and happiness on our heart.

Our marriage is like any others, we fight but we never sleep on bed until everything is settled. After the merging of our company, everything went smooth, I still work and he works also.

But the good thing is, we are organized. We never work at home… Our home is our sanctuary…

Lumipas man ang panahon alam kong walang magbabago… Tatanda man kami pero once na ang pag-ibig ay totoo, tatagal hanggang dulo.

All of us deserves the right and true love, don’t settle for less…

Girl, Boy, Trans, Lesbian, Gay and many more… We deserve to be love! We deserve the right love!

Ps.

Your Gal, remains on the “Sana all” level… Huhu. Love you all! Sana all!

Author’s Note

Hello, Gals!

I know this story have a lot of imperfections but I’m beyond grateful for all the dms’ and appreciations you have given me.  I hope in this journey,  I’ll be with you all!

Grammatical errors are present on my stories so please bear with me!  I’m on the process of learning and developing. And with you,  through time, I’ll be able to gain more knowledge and wisdom about it.

Padayon,  Gals!  Hope we’re all doing well in this time of pandemic. Things might not went well but I’m telling you each day is full of surprises…

God Bless,  everyone! I love you all!

Hope you will like my other stories too.  I’ll be actively updating my story “The Heiress”. If you haven’t check it out yet.  Check it on my profile!

Thank you!  Follow me, Gals!  I love you all! ❤

Should I add another special Chapter of Clint and Kaye? Comment down below!