01

No, you are not hallucinating.

Yes, this is happening.

And yes, I too would like to do some target practice with our presidents face.

For those of you outside the US, where do you currently stay? How’s minimum wage? #askingforafriend

Please enjoy the last and final installment of the CEO’s Trilogy, to conclude Alex and Christian’s love story.

And remember,

I love y’all.

xoxo

••

Recent Edit: Paul Walker just had to go and do a bunch of weird shit before he passed ugh. I’ll find a pic for Christian’s POV later

xoxo

Alex

Well.

Hello there everyone. It’s been a while.

I feel like I should give the audience in my head a recap of what the fuck that Hawaii trip even was, to begin with… because sitting on a red eye flight back home surrounded by Joan, Brad, Derek, and Christian was not how I saw it ending.

There was a lot playing through my mind at the moment. The first and most prominent thing was the fact that Christian and I were now official.

Thinking back on the conversation we had just hours ago on that beach, still made my heart beat quicken…

“But I dunno,” Christian continued. “Sometimes I wonder whether I’ll look in the mirror one day, and seem unrecognizable from how much I’ve changed… but now I realize how ironic and idiotic that thought is.” He paused to release a shaky breath. “I’m not afraid one day I’ll catch a glimpse of me and not recognize myself, I’m ashamed of all the times I looked in the mirror these past few years and thought I did recognize myself.”

That, in particular, had struck a chord within me.

“You’ve made me value everything more.” He whispered. “My family… My work… You…”

I was pulled from those thoughts by Christian, himself.

Both him and Brad were desperately trying to find some shut-eye on the flight, but Christian was having trouble getting comfortable. He insisted on holding my hand while he slept, which left him in a weird position. Every so often I felt those large fingers tighten their hold, but I couldn’t tell whether he was asleep or not.

As soon as he settled again, I allowed my mind to wander back to our time on that beach.

“I have never been with someone where every topic of discussion is so unrestricted and unconditional. I’ve never met someone who could truly encompass the meaning of the word beautiful so wholesome and perfectly. I have never wanted to give so much of myself to another soul, Alex… before your sarcastic witty ass entangled itself in my life.”

Glancing over at Christian again, I thought back to the way he had looked at me then. I swear I had forgotten how to breathe in that exact moment. All I could think about was how badly I wanted him.

“You’ll have to forgive me for my lack of direction with my words, because this is still new territory for me.”

I had hung on to every word spilling from his mouth like it was my true religion.

“But It’s territory I want to grow accustomed to… with you… although I may have never experienced this particular feeling with anyone before, I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen madly in love with you Alexander Hamilton.”

Those last words… how I felt when he said them, was indescribable.

If he would have asked me to marry him, I would have said yes.

If he would have asked me to donate my life savings and rough it in the Ural Mountains, I would have said yes.

It was disheartening to think of all the things we were about to do to each other on that beach, if it wasn’t for the phone call that put us on this flight.

Christian

By the time we touched down, I honestly couldn’t tell you what day it was. It felt like we were flying for a fucking eternity, however.

“I want a bed underneath me, and a you on top of me.” I mumbled at Alex. He swatted my hands away when I tried to get a little more hands on in the airport.

“Let me at least figure out where our suitcases went.” He replied with, as both him and Brad stared at the empty carousel that was supposed to have our bags rotating on it.

“Since it looks like you guys have it under control, I’m going to take off.” Derek spoke, breaking up the silence. He had slept for so much of the flight, I almost got he was even on this trip. Almost being the key word here.

“You didn’t come with a suitcase?” Brad asked. Derek quickly shook his head.

“Like I said, this trip was completely covered by yours truly. This meant that everything needed to be copped on the low low.” Derek replied. “The way these extra baggage charges are set up, has me fucked up. I brought only the backpack on my back, and my wits.”

And surprisingly, it had gotten this one further than I thought.

“Listen,” I sighed to Alex, “I will cover whatever the fuck you lost if you call it quits now on this suitcase hunt, and take me home.”

He looked up at me expectantly.

“And what if I told you I had packed a few extra items for this trip?” He sent me a wink, that did too much for my sexually deprived self.

“Hey!” I snapped at Brad, pulling him out of whatever trance he was in as he watched the empty belt deliver nothing over and over again. “Go figure out where our bags are so I can go the fuck home.”

Brad looked back at me with the same tired expression I was showing him. “Do you see anyone else here?” He asked, casting his hand in the direction of our flight kiosk that was currently as vacant as my list of fucks to give. “As soon as you locate someone, please, don’t keep that information to yourself.”

Maybe it was the stress from the hours we had just spent on a plane, but I had the sudden urge to beat the shit out of my brother. The exhaustion had started to slip through the cracks for everyone, but his attitude in particular was aggravating.

“I hate to break up this brotherly love, but I’ll be taking my leave now.” Derek interrupted us.

“If it wasn’t for that gorgeous sundress I just bought, I would leave with Derek in a heartbeat.” Joan grumbled. That made Brad tense up.

“I could order a ride for you, if you don’t mind waiting at my home while I finish up here.” He offered. Joan looked instantly apologetic.

“It’s not worth it if you aren’t there.” She replied.

I yawned. “Look, this is sweet and everything, but we’re all about to go with Derek if these fucking suitcases don’t present themselves.”

And it was almost like magic, because as soon as those words left my mouth, four black cases came through the conveyer belt, creating more excitement for myself than I could possibly ever remember experiencing before.

“Fucking finally.” I sighed deeply, ready to leave the most detailed Yelp review for this airline. “Grab your shit and let’s go home.” I grumbled to Alex, not even bothering to detail which home we were going to.

Wherever Alex was, was home.

••

I don’t plug my YouTube channel too often, but definitely check it out if you’re interested in hearing about my most insane weed endeavor to date.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

02

Christian

As soon as Alex and I stepped out of the airport, we were blindsided from the rapidly rising sun that took everyone by surprise.

“This is madness.” I grumbled under my breath. I was supposed to be waking up in our beautiful resort of a room, feeling Alex’s body entangled with my own. Maybe some sand in unknown places from our previous night of escapades on the beach. That was the morning I wanted… not this bullshit.

“The sun’s out already?” Joan sighed. It was a sigh that was working hard to envision how I felt right now, but didn’t come close to doing my emotions justice.

“We should probably head home.” Brad suggested to me, as he struggled to balance both his carry on bag and suitcase in one hand, while the other hand operated his phone. Knowing Brad, he was probably sending countless emails in an attempt to move this weeks schedule around.

Clearly we were about to be less available than imagined. Considering we had just launched our partnership with Mavericks, I couldn’t imagine the type of shit Brad was going to have to postpone.

I barely processed what he meant by home, until he reiterated “ home, home.“ I glanced over at him, sending a look that asked him if he’d lost his fucking mind.

“I’m going to go curl up somewhere soft with Alex, and sleep. You are more than welcome to go visit our parents, but I’m not addressing shit with those shitheads until I’ve gotten eight hours of sleep, and some coffee in me.” Brad took in my words, frowning at my choice of them, but eventually he gave me a nod.

“I guess I’ll go knockout as well.” He replied.

I was honestly glad he had decided to. It looked like he was barely managing to keep his eyes open as we waited for the company cars to arrive.

With the state we were both in, I was almost positive the conversation with our parents would’ve been a complete shit show anyways. I was beyond irritated, and it was Alex’s fingers still entangled with my own, that kept me from losing it. Brad had maybe ten minutes left before his body was going to fall asleep standing up.

Joan tried leaning against him for some support, as she too, looked like she was about to pass out… but they both ended up almost toppling over. It was Alex’s quick thinking, and light shove that got them upright again.

A good thing he moved quickly when he did, because if they were to take us down with them, someone was going to die. That was the level of over it I had reached on this eight hour flight.

We watched as our all black company cars skirted around the winding corner of the lanes, maneuvering in and out of parked and moving cars, like their lives depended on getting somewhere. All we heard were the honks of other drivers either getting cut off, of honked back at by our drivers.

“Why the hell are our guys pulling up like they’re on set for Tokyo Drift?” Brad asked me.

“I sent an email to our communications department. Told the drivers to drive like their jobs depended on it.” I replied.

Brad gave me a look. “Now why the hell would you do that?”

I gave him a puzzled look back. “Because… they do?” I knew it had been a while since I fired anyone, but surely Brad didn’t think I was getting that soft.

Not today anyways, not while we were all standing out on the curb, waiting .

I had told Brad to just get us a taxi, or order an Uber, but he insisted the drivers were already dispatched.

“Our apologies on the wait here, sir!” One driver spoke before he even fully made it out of the damn car. The other was already packing up our suitcases into the back of the vehicles. It looked like Brad had requested three. I assumed one for him and Joan, one for Alex and I, and the other for Derek.

But Derek had already taken off, waving us goodbye as he headed down to the Uber pickup zone of the airport, and I looked on in pure jealousy.

“Did you- um, did you mind if I took the extra vehicle home? I honestly look like a mess right now, and I kind of want to pull myself together.” Joan asked Brad.

We all could tell Joan was itching to get out of her outfit. Maybe even shower and get the eyeliner off. The flight back had done a number on each and every one of us. Even Joan’s almost perfect complexion was starting to suffer.

Brad’s eyes softened at her. “Are you sure? I don’t mind dropping you off on the way to my place.”

Joan definitely didn’t live on the way to Brad’s. Brad and I lived pretty much out in the middle of nowhere with practically our own damn zip codes. Nothing was on the way to our homes.

“Are you sure?” Joan continued. “I just- I don’t want to inconvenience you. I know you must be tired and-” but Brad just waved it off.

“No inconvenience at all, I promise. Jump in and I’ll let both drivers know the change of plans.” We watched as Brad opened the door to the second vehicle for her, before making his way over to the third vehicle. It looked like that conversation didn’t last more than a minute of two.

“Your ride is ready sir.” The driver from the first car spoke to me, right as he was placing our last bag in the back. It brought my attention back to my own situation at hand. I made sure to get the back door for Alex, before I slid in seconds later. It was time for us to get the hell out of here.

“Are we still on route to your home, sir?” The driver asked us once he got situated behind the wheel.

“Yes.” I replied, giving him one courteous nod. Alex’s fingers were starting to nervously play with the hem of the shirt I had bought him. The shirt from that ridiculous hot dog eating competition, that he later decided to change into on the flight back. Surprisingly, the material was soft enough for him to rest in.

“You know,” he started, “maybe Joan was onto something? Maybe I should head home first… to to kind of pull myself together?”

My hand found his almost instantly, linking our fingers before I pulled it to my side. “I have watched you puke repeatedly after a night of getting ungodly wasted before a meeting in NYC. I also aided my father is hosing down Derek after he damn near gave himself alcohol poising. The only person I’ve failed to see the messiest parts from, have been Joan… so she gets to go home and pull herself together. You get to come home with me, and take a nap.”

Alex

I sighed, squeezing Christian’s hand a little tighter as I leant against him. The driver had already pulled us off the curve he surly accidentally drove onto, and back into an exit lane.

My eyes were irritated from the lack of sleep, and I desperately needed a shower… but it was difficult to argue with a man such as Christian. Especially when, on his few good days, he spewed out this amount of logic.

••

Hey there lovelies! How are we liking the story so far? God, I’ve never been more excited to jump right in with these two.

Hopefully I’ve brought that same energy to this third book, and hopefully I’ve improved on the more intimate scenes

(spoiler alert, you’re getting some very soon).

Thank you, as always, for being utterly amazing!

I love y’all.

xoxo

03

Christian

As soon as the company car pulled to the front of the entrance, I gave Alex a gentle nudge. Regardless of the battle he had fought with sleep for the majority of this ride, sleep eventually overpowered him. I felt his body gently rested against my side, with his head on my shoulder.

“Alex?” I whispered to him.

He made a sound I was certain I’d never heard a human make before. It sounded like a dying toad.

“Alex?” I spoke again, nudging him just a little harder. His eyes slowly opened up to the world.

“Are we here?” He mumbled, rubbing sleep from his irritated eyes.

“Yep. Come on, love. Let’s get you to bed.”

Alex was slow to start, but eventually we made it up the steps of the estate towards my home. Before I was able to get the door open, Nathaniel got it unlocked for me. He was in one of his slightly varied ironed vests, with crisp pants suits… except the vest was buttoned incorrectly, and his undereyes were completely sunken.

I had never seen Nathaniel look so terribly rested before.

“Good aft-well I guess morning?” He glanced up at the sky behind us. “You know what sir, good day.” He nodded to me. I couldn’t help but stare as he fumbled through that greeting.

Was Nathaniel… broken or something?

“Good day, Nathaniel. My apologies for bombarding you last minute with all these changes.” I spoke, attempting to guide the still sleepy Alex into my home, with our cases in hand.

“No need to apologize, sir. This is my job.” Nathaniel replied, as he quickly took the suitcases from me. I couldn’t help but frown at that. Even Nathaniel’s words dripping with stress.

“Alex?” I tapped my sleep deprived lover on the shoulder. He glanced back at me. “Why don’t you go up to my room and get comfortable. I’ll be there in a few, okay?” He gave me a nod, with his eyes still half closed, before making his way down the long corridor.

Both Nathaniel and I watched as he disappeared.

“Let go speak in my office.” I told my clearly depleted caretaker.

“You should have gone to see your parents first.” He said, throwing that whiskey shot back like it was water. I stared at Nathaniel, wide eyed. I’d never seen him like… this before.

“Nathaniel, look at me. Clearly I’m not in any right state of mind to see them. I’m about one more slight inconvenience away from choking someone out. Plus the way my father is set up, he’ll just eat up my aggravation and spit it back out at me, then my mother will get involved and it’s just- I don’t need that right now at what is it, not even eight in the morning yet?” I asked, glancing up at The Godfather clock that was standing in the corner of my study.

The speed in which I whipped through that explanation, made me sound deranged. I guess it fit the way I looked right now.

Clearly, Nathaniel took that excuse because he eventually just gave me a nod. “I fail to recall how long I’ve been with you Ivanov’s. Damn year all my life, it seems. You’d think I’d seen it all…” he mumbled that last part, as he helped himself to another drink.

I decided not to pour myself one. Though it was still seven in the morning, it wasn’t even the morning drinking that kept me away. Judging by both Nathaniel and I’d appearance, I’d argue we damn near needed a drink.

It was really just the fact that I wanted to kiss Alex all over, after Nathaniel and I were done. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing that if my breath still had the taste of whiskey on it.

My ears caught that last part of Nathaniel’s sentence, however, and I wasn’t going to let that just slip by.

“Did mum and dad tell you what they needed to tell Brad and I? They told you why they let Vadik go?” I asked him. Nathaniel’s eyes had already told me all I needed to know. Clearly, they had dumped something on him, to make him look and act the way he was right now.

I watched as Nathaniel threw that- what was it, second? Or maybe third shot back? I had lost count.

“I think it would be best if your parents explained everything-”

I chuckled dryly, not meaning to cut Nathaniel off, but that statement meant close to nothing for me. If my parents had explained everything the first thousand chances Brad and I gave them, we wouldn’t even be in this mess right now.

“I know you’re angry with them. I also know that they have done nothing to warrant your trust… but I just ask that you listen before you react.”

“Isn’t it to listen before speaking?” I asked Nathaniel, quoting some quote I had heard in my lectures during primary school.

“For you? No. Listen before you react.” He replied. I thought that second, or maybe third shot would have done this old man in… but he just reached across for the bottle, to help himself to another. “But tell me, how was your trip? Regardless of the matters that cut it off so soon.”

I gave my old friend a smile. “It was nice. You wouldn’t believe that Joan, Brad, and Derek of all people, made it on to this trip.”

Nathaniel hesitated a moment before he brought the glass to his lips. “Actually, I can very much believe that.” He mumbled. I chose to ignore that, but he was right. It was really only fitting that the rest of the gang somehow managed to make it on the Big Island.

“But regardless of that,” I continued, “the trip was wonderful. Alone time with Alex never really presented itself, and when it did, that abrupt call from Brad definitely fucked that up… but I was able to tell him how I truly felt about him-”

Nathaniel didn’t even let me finish, instead he leaned closer with his half full glass in hand. “Did you use the L word?” He asked. I rolled my eyes at this sudden gossiper.

“I told him I was falling in love with him, yes. I didn’t tell him I love him though. I don’t even know if that’s the same thing, but I didn’t want to feel like I was completely rushing Alex. I was technically asking him out for god sakes, I don’t know if anyone has done that by telling the person they loved them.” I ranted that last part to myself, but Nathaniel was following.

“You’d be surprised.” He replied. “But enough about our chit chat.” I watched as Nathaniel stood abruptly. “I’m glad to have you back, sir. I think it’s time to take myself to bed. I didn’t find much sleep last night, as you can tell.”

“Yeah, you kinda look like shit.” I replied.

“The same could be said for you.” He countered. That made my lips twitch up into a grin, as I also stood to follow him out of my study. “Is there a preferred time to wake you up at?”

I was about to tell Nathaniel in a few hours, but I stopped myself short. “It seems as if this meeting with my family is going to take up most of my time… so I’m going to see when Alex wakes up, and play it by ear.” I replied. “I’ve left that handsome man in bed alone on far too many occasions. I don’t want a repeat of that today.”

Nathaniel gave me a nod, before dismissing himself to his own chambers.

I quickly made my way to Alex.

••

04

I’ll try and get as many uploads as I can this week. Work has beeeeeeeeeeeeeeen about a bitch as of late.

But enjoy lovelies!

Oh, and

Warning: Explicit Content ;)

Alex

I couldn’t tell what time sleep had found me. Nor what time it left me. It was an arm tightening its hold around my abdomen, that fully pulled myself from that lulled stated. The room we were in was dark, only lit by the last few glimpse of daylight breaking through Christian’s blinds.

As my body stirred, Christian’s hand that was rested on my bare abdomen, started to move. Now that I was flush against him, his growing arousal was evident and unavoidable. His hips had already started to slowly gyrate against me, grinding his need into my ass.

I wasn’t expecting the quick maneuvering he did that landed me underneath his almost naked self, staring up into those darkening eyes.

“Good morning.” He whispered to me in this raspy morning voice. The same voice that turned me on in inexplicable ways.

“There isn’t much I’m positive about, but I’m pretty sure it’s not morning anymore.” I replied, glancing at the window. That made his smirk grow. Instead of replying, I felt the arms that were holding him up above me, slowly dip into the mattress as he lowered himself. I let my eyes drift close again. When his lips caught a mine, that familiar sensation started to bubble up again.

My hands wrapped themselves around Christian, allowing myself to freely mess around with his bed hair.

It was the first kiss we had shared since Hawaii. Though that was literally just yesterday, it felt like years had passed since then. I pulled at his soft bottom lip with my teeth, gently bringing him towards me until I felt his lower half grind against mine. That released a moan from both our lips.

Using strength I know I personally would never have, Christian was able to hold his lowered self up with one hand, while his other hand moved to my jawline. As he tilted my head up, it allowed his lips to break away from my own and attach themselves to my neck.

That was when my breathing really picked up.

“ We never got to finish what we started on that beach .“ I felt him murmur against my skin. My hands tightened their grip on him. This… this couldn’t possibly have been good for my heart right now. “I wanted to show you just how much your words meant to me last night.”

The way he said those words in particular, made my heartbeat accelerate and my cock start to leak. It also brought me back to the very butchered conversation we shared last night.

I had come close to crying at every damn word, when trying to explain to this man just how much he meant to me. It was supposed to be beautiful and romantic, but instead I looked more like an emotional wreck. Christian’s soft eyes as he listened to me speak last night just-

I felt my stomach do that fluttery thing it did whenever I thought about it.

But as soon as I gravitated towards that memory, I was pulled back to the present moment. Christian was hovered above me again, staring down into my eyes. “You have such a delicate face.” He whispered. I felt the roughness of his thumb as it gently stroked my cheek, massaging the skin there. “I value these intimate moments the most. When I get to look at you like this, just completely bare. No frames. No clothes .”

I felt a shiver run through my body from the way he said that, but I did my best to hold his gaze.

“Speaking of clothes…” he murmured, pushing himself further up until he had his weight rested on his knees between my legs. I watched his fingers link themselves to my waistband, before slipping the briefs off my body in almost record timing. My cock slapped back against my abdomen, slick already with precum.

I watched as his eyes slowly raked over my completely bare self. He took his time absorbing what felt like every inch of me. When his eyes found mine again, every thought I might of had running through my head, was wholeheartedly forgotten. He bent down, planting soft playful kisses on my lips. When he pulled away, the next kiss landed on my chest. I watched in anticipation when he took a nipple into his mouth.

I arched off the bed, and towards him involuntarily. That allowed for him to slip his free arm under me, holding me there are he started to nibble down on the sensitive skin. My fingers applied pressure to his back. This sensation was… just- “ holy fuck -“ I choked out.

Christian moved from one nipple, to the next. I could feel the slight stumble from his chin, against my skin when he moved. As he made his way further down my body, my cock began to twitch. When his stumble rubbed gently against the tip, my head dipped back. Christian kept one hand underneath me right at my lower back, but his other hand wrapped itself around my bare thigh. He placed that leg on his shoulder.

This gave him complete access to my cock.

His eyes found mine again, demanding my attention as his tongue licked from the base to the tip of my cock. My head tipped back towards the pillow once more in pure ecstasy.

“Look at me.” Christian ordered, stopping what he was doing. That almost made me cum. I had to suppress the urge as I looked back down at him… watching as he took me completely in his mouth. There was no way I was going to last long.

I felt my hip buckle up towards him, but both of Christian’s hands kept me exactly in place. And I meant exactly in place . I watched the muscles in his upper body ripple as he stabilized my movements. That was when he dipped lower to take the rest of my cock into his mouth. All I could do was grasp at the sheets.

“C-Christian-” his name fumbled past my lips in more of a struggled moan, than anything. “I-I-” when my head dipped back, I felt my cock slip from his mouth. “Look at me.” He whispered hoarsely. My toes curled tight when I did, but that was when he took me into his mouth again.

I felt his tongue swirl against the tip of of my cock, and that was it for me.

“C-Christian, I-I’m g-going-” Christian took my full length in again, and my hips buckled for the last time. I came so hard, I accidentally ripped the fitted sheets out from the mattress corners. Christian applied more pressure to keep me steady as he sucked me dry. My legs were trembling from copious amounts of pleasure I felt spread from my core to each limb.

Christian finally released my cock from his mouth, sending shivers everywhere….

But it was the next few words to fall past his mesmeric lips, that almost sent me to the hospital.

“I’m not done . “

••

05

Good morning, lovelies!

I’m going to try and get more uploads out today if time allows it.

I know I’ve seen a few comments on these chapters being short. I keep my chapters on Wattpad generally between 1100-1400 words for all my books. My chapters on Radish were longer because it didn’t feel right justifying people potentially spending coins on chapters that weren’t at least 1500-2000 words.

Since the book is on Wattpad now, and completely free, I don’t plan on writing such long chapters. This also means you guys get more frequent uploads as well.

Thank you so so much for reading, I love y’all.

Also…

Warning: Explicit Content ;)

Alex

When Christian’s lips found mine again, he dug deep into the reserve of energy I didn’t know I had. My legs wrapped themselves tightly around his waist as I deepened the kiss. His free hand started at my neck, but now I could feel him massaging his way down my chest, to my sides.

Every part of me that he touched, reacted to the heightened sensitivity. I was on fire after that orgasm. When he dipped down to cup my ass towards him, I released a moan against his lips. I thought they may have been the reason he pulled away, but I was terribly mistaken.

Instead, he brought two fingers to the entrance of my mouth. My lips closed around them, salivating his digits in preparation for what was next. Christian watched me, with his lips slightly parted. His dark eyes made my cock hard again with need. When he removed the digits from my mouth, he waisted no time bringing them to my other entrance.

My breathing hitched from the warm slick sensation when I felt his fingers gently caress the area. The way Christian was able to gradually stretch me, always came as a surprise. Instead of the slight uncomfortableness I thought was usually accompanied, all I felt was pleasure when he inserted the first finger into me.

Those lips reattached themselves to my neck. That resulted in just a series of moans spilling from my lips. When Christian pulled his fingers out of me, I damn near whimpered from the loss of contact. That once content and full feeling was now gone… but it seemed like Christian was hell bent on rectifying that situation.

I felt him leave light kisses trailing down my chest, before he pulled away. I didn’t even notice this man still had his boxers on, but he was able to pull them off in one fluid motion. When he climbed back on top of me, I tried to hold his gaze… but Christian fully naked wasn’t something I saw every day.

I really took it in this morning- I mean evening. My perception of time was all types of fucked up right now.

Every time I saw what was about to go inside of me, it always brought on a few questions. The most prominent one was, of course, how? Just logistically speaking, it never adding up. The real close runner up would have been, did he get bigger?

He must have saw the slight worry in my eyes, because I watched as Christian reached over me towards his night stand. He pulled out a black velvet bag that looked almost filled to the brim with stuff, but I couldn’t see the contents. My eyebrows arched at that.

“W-What’s all that?” I asked him, my voice still a bit raspy with need. He pulled out a bottle from the bag, then set the bag back in his drawer.

“I-I may have got a few items… b-but we’ll visit all that on a different day.” He replied with. All that did was skyrocket my intrigue. I couldn’t remember the last time I had heard Christian this flustered. Now I desperately wanted to see what items he must have impulsively bought.

The item he had pulled in particular, looked like some sort of lube. When I got a good look at the bottle, the words Fifty Shades of Grey Anal Lube was printed in a fancy cursive font. That made my eyebrows arch even further in surprise. Now I was positive the fate of the world depended on me seeing what else was in that bag.

Christian worked some of the lube onto his hands, before slicking himself up. Watching his large hands pump his equally proportioned cock, made mine even more excited. It was like watching a male model jerk himself off online. My hand had to wipe back some of the drool I’m sure had escaped. This was what distracted me from asking more questions about that bag.

When Christian positioned himself at my entrance before pushing himself in, I visibly saw every emotion jet across this gorgeous man’s face. Restraint was definitely one of them. I could tell Christian was going slow. The lube made the process completely painless for me, but it looked like he still wasn’t taking chances.

I pulled his body down to me as I felt him slowly fill me. His head rested itself into the crook of my neck, but all I could hear were his soft moans and grunts by my ear.

“ C-Christian- “ I more or less moaned out. “You don’t have to go so slow.”

I thought my grip on Christian was intense, but the way his arms tightened their hold, made me realize mine wasn’t shit. Christian had me in a bear hug while I felt his cock started to go deeper, quicker. When one of his hands arched my back up towards him, my eyes shut tight with new waves of pleasure. This angle allowed him to push all of himself into me.

I forgot I had already pulled the fitted sheet off the top corners. Now, the fabric had started to almost cocoon Christian and I. I couldn’t have given less of a rats ass however, not when Christian pulled back just to slam his cock back inside me.

“Oh my god!” I felt myself damn near scream. He propped himself up on his arms, repeating that intimate process of pulling out, and slamming right back in. My nails dug into his back unintentionally when he pulled away.

“Look at me.” He demanded, causing my closing eyes to slowly open again. Christian was just inches away, staring down at my unraveling mess. He hadn’t even touched my cock yet this time, but that quick build up was an indication I was going to come soon regardless.

Staring up at Christian while he slowly pounded into me, was the type of intimacy my heart wasn’t built for. Every part of myself wanted to look away from embarrassment. Was the face I was making, stupid? I wasn’t even sure what face I was making. The only tangible phrases falling past my lips where holy fuck , and fuck yes .

Christian managed to balance himself on that one arm again, freeing up his other. When his hand connected to my neck, I thought he was going to breakaway and kiss me again. Instead, his fingers wrapped around my neck, slowly tightened a bit. “Is t-this okay?” He asked me.

I felt the pressure from his hand on my neck.

All that did was make my cock leak.

“Y-Yes.” I struggled to reply with my suppressed airways. Christian kept me right in place, with his hand holding me right underneath him, while his cock pounded into me in harder. His speed had started to pick up, causing beads of sweat to form at the base of his forehead.

Now I definitely couldn’t look away. Not with the faces Christian was making. There was a brief moment when he broke eye contact to look away. I hear the word “ fuck “ whispered under his breath before he turned back towards me again. The hand around my neck got just a smidge tighter, but that brought me right up to the edge.

I tried to warn Christian that I was going to cum. It was just that my words came out in a raspy mess. Partially due to Christian’s hand lightly choking me, but also due to the now sporadic strokes he was delivering.

“ Oh my fucking god you feel so fucking good. “ He whispered to me. “You look so fucking good.” I felt my hips start to buckle uncontrollably again. “Do you like my hand wrapped around your neck? When I fuck you like this? “ Was it possible for him to fuck me harder? Because he was, and I was honestly feeling my soul detach itself from my body. There was nowhere to look but at him. When his cock reached the part again that sent unimaginable waves of pleasure, I let go fully.

My second cum shots weren’t nearly as much as the first time. I could feel the warm liquid on my stomach, but it was the warm liquid that filled up my insides, which made me shudder. When I orgasmed, it ripped straight through my body. It also caused my walls to tighten their hold on Christians cock. I felt him cum hard inside of me.

“ Fuck, Alex! “ He grunted roughly, collapsing onto my body as we both felt his last strokes ride out the pleasure.

••

Also, if you’d like to hear about all the ways in which my delinquent ass got my shit rocked by my parents as a kid, check out my most recent YouTube video!

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

06

Christian

Leaving Alex that evening, was one of the hardest things to do. Leaving that bed alone almost felt impossible. It was Nathaniel was who urged me to go, assuring me that he would take care of Alex’s dinner and transportation home.

Alex insisted he wasn’t too hungry this evening, but before I could dismiss it, Nathaniel did.

“I’ll get some chili heated up.” Was the last thing I heard Nathaniel say to Alex, before I stepped out onto my entrance steps, and shut the front door.

It was almost dark now. Only a small bit of light remained in the sky. I had checked my phone for the time, shortly after Alex and I had finished our evening endeavors in my bed… Just the mere thought of being inside him moments ago, made my fingers tighten their grip on the steering wheel. He was just- he was incredible. Every moment I spent with Alex was incredible, but our intimacy just kept getting better.

It was clear Alex was growing more and more comfortable with me. I never would have expected him to allow me to explore some new things, but his trust in me created an environment where we both felt comfortable enough. There was so much I wanted to do, to try with him… to him.

I thought back to the items I had curiously purchased a few nights before our trip. I had almost forgot that I had, until Nathaniel informed me that he had placed them on my bedside while Alex and I were in Hawaii. He hadn’t even mentioned the items, but when I found the black bag next to my personal, I felt myself cringe. Nathaniel now definitely knew more than he needed to, about me and Alex’s sexual relationship.

I wasn’t even sure how to bring it up to him again. Half the stuff I ordered were probably things Alex wouldn’t even want to try. I was so nervous to ask, all I ended up using tonight was the lube that came with this BDSM kit. I couldn’t even tell you what that stood for, but I saw handcuffs and I was sold.

When the light hit the label of the bottle, there a print there that said Fifty Shades of something. I couldn’t remember what the rest was though, I was too busy trying to squirt the liquid into my palm as quickly as possible so I could get back to Alex.

I’m sure Nathaniel now thought I was a freak.

I had distracted myself with the thoughts of my earlier sinful acts, I almost didn’t realize the drive was over when I pulled into my parents estate. It looked just like it did when I left it last. Now that the sun had set, the home was illuminated by lawn lights projecting against the brick. I drove up the long ass strip of driveway, before pulling my car towards the large entrance.

The one thing that managed to put my accelerating mind at ease, was a familiar face.

“Good evening sir.” Steve smiled at me with a warm greeting. I couldn’t help but return it.

“Evening, Steve. Hows this chilly night treating ya?” I asked my mother’s Valet driver, but more importantly my good friend.

The one thing I appreciated about my parents was that they maintained the same staff. All that cold ass personality they had was glazed over by the warm smiles, welcomes, and wholesome chit chat I got to have with the staff in passing.

“Oh, you know.” He laughed nervously. That made my eyebrow arch. Steve had been here long enough to know my parents were completely batshit… but he very rarely ever worried- or at least never expressed that worry, visibly. “I’ll let you get on in there, and see for yourself.” Steve replied.

That was just another red flag.

“Should I park this beaut?” He asked, referencing my vehicle.

“Usually I’d say no, cause you know how much I like to get under my skin… but why don’t you take her out? Been a while since I’ve drove her.” I replied. Steve’s eye’s grew large.

“I-I couldn’t, that would be too unprofessional-”

I took a step forward. “The animals in that home are the least professional people I may have ever met. That, and I guarantee you there will be no more visitors tonight.” I’d bet my life that Brad was already here, sitting in the living room waiting on my parents to grace him with their presence. “Knock yourself out.” I finished, tossing the keys in Steve’s direction before walking past him into the home.

I didn’t even give him the option to protest. He looked like he needed an escape from the crazy tonight.

As my mother’s familiar home surrounded me, I expected to turn to my right and see Brad. Instead, Brad was standing behind the couch in one of the mothers living rooms. The same couch she had both Slav and I move around for what felt like fucking hours.

Slav was the one sitting at the spot Brad usually lounged in… except I almost didn’t recognize him. For starters, my father was in sweatpants.

Now this may sound casual to some, but for my father, he swore he would die before anyone caught him out in sweatpants. That was including his own children.

The thing that stopped me dead in my tracks, however, was the wine glass balanced perfectly in his right hand, with deep red liquid filled to the brim. I noticed a wine bottle next to the couch on the side table.

In all my couple decades of existing, I had never- and I meant never , seen my father drink wine before.

When Brad’s eyes caught mine, he gave me a weak smile. The poor kid still looked like shit.

“Hey.” He nodded my way.

“Hey…” I replied a little hesitantly. My father didn’t turn to acknowledge me, instead he stared straight ahead at the fireplace that wasn’t even lit. I pointed to our apparent vegetable of a father, but Brad shook his head quickly. He signaled for me to follow him out of the living room and onto one of the terraces.

When we stepped out into the chilly evening, my mother was already there. She was wrapped in a long silk robe that dusted the wooden panels of the floor. She, too, had a wine glass in hand- but that was so normal I’d be more concerned if she didn’t.

She turned around to face us.

“You made it.”

My eyebrows furrowed at her words. “Well, shit if I knew I had a choice-” my mother’s sharp gaze cut me off.

“I expected- well, I don’t even know what I was expecting…” she let that last part trail off as she took another sip of wine. Her glass wasn’t nearly as full as my fathers, but really who’s to say it didn’t start there.

“Well when you told us you dropped any legal case again Vadik, that seemed just a little too fucking important to pass up.” I replied. I thought my mother was going to protest against my language use, but she said nothing.

“You have to make us understand this. We’re on your side mum, but things aren’t adding up.” Brad spoke, his voice must gentler than mine was, or what I was expecting. At first I thought he may have softened his voice for her, but that wasn’t the case. One glance at Brad and I knew he was just tired as all hell.

I had to wonder what had kept him up today while the rest of us knocked out… or maybe even who .

“The situation with Vadik can’t come to light. You all know this- for the good of the company. He has agreed to distance himself from the company, but we have not reached an agreement for him to distance himself from this family. You needed to know this in case he attempts to reach out to either or you.” My mother explained, but Brad interrupted.

“Vadik said you didn’t tell us everything. That there were things here that we’re not seeing. Things we can’t connect due to lack of information.” Brad replied. “So I’ll ask again. What aren’t you telling us?”

The look on the mother’s face said it all.

She was about to cry.

••

07

Warning: There is mention of sexual assault in this chapter

Christian

Brad and I took a seat on the terrace chairs, but our mother remained standing near the balcony. I felt a chill run through me as another breeze blew through the balcony panels. My mother tightened her hold on the silk robe to keep herself warm.

I still didn’t understand why we were outside right now. I also didn’t quite get why my father wasn’t.

Brad dug deep into his pockets, before he pulled out a small metal box. I didn’t know what it was, until he flipped it open and pulled a short white cigarette out. My mother glanced down at the box, and her mouth opened to say something… but then she shut it. This probably wasn’t the time to start chastising Brad for his bad habits. Not now. Not when our father was sitting on the couch in sweatpants drinking wine.

We had much bigger fish to fry.

“The home Vadik and I grew up in was far from comforting. I told you both a little about it, but I never went into detail- partially to spare you, but mostly to spare myself. It’s memories I never wanted to relive again.” My mother took a deep breath, then another sip from her glass.

The wine was almost gone now.

“With our father being just shy of a monster, the person who protected me most from that wrath was Vadik. My father had a job that brought in close to no money. My mother had left us when we were very little, and the money my father did make was mainly spent on alcohol and narcotics.”

It was a very rare thing to hear my mother speak about her own. That was a topic she did her best to avoid like the plague. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how to cope with a mother leaving her own kids.

“Vadik was the one who found odd jobs to feed us. He was the one who managed to keep me in my primary classes, forfeiting his own education. More importantly, he was the one who took the majority of my fathers abuse. Going back to that home everyday was for shelter, and nothing else. Sometimes we would go weeks without seeing our father.”

That reminded me of what Alex once told me about his mum. When she would go on benders, leaving him to take care of himself.

“Though he left us to pay for everything, those were the times Vadik and I looked forward to the most. Every night, we’d pray that he’d just never make it back one day. That he’d stumble out of some pub, trip into an alley, and die in the cold there. Sometimes it feels like God only takes away the good ones.”

I couldn’t even begin to process my mother’s words.

I couldn’t wrap my head around being hurt so badly, you wish your parents ceased to exist completely. What my mother was telling me now, put so much more into perspective.

“It disgusts me to say that I grew an attachment to Vadik. Now, being much older, I know that that, what I felt then , wasn’t love.” My mother’s voice broke a moment. Her eyes had been watering throughout this entire conversation, but she managed to hold those tears at bay. “That was the closest thing to Stockholm syndrome. Vadik was the real reason for the roof under my head. He was the reason for my last meal. How don’t you form an attachment to someone like that?”

Brad had kept the unlit cigarette between his lips as he listened to our mother speak. It was after she took the next pause, did he finally light it. We all sat in silence a moment, hearing the metal cap flip back on his old fashioned lighter, before the sound of the ignition sparked a flame.

My mother brought her wine glass to her lips, to finish off the last sip remaining. It was clear as day that she’d be going back for another soon.

“What Vadik told you was right. There’s so much more there, than what I’ve let on. What I’ve told you two… But don’t let him confuse you. He took advantage of my needs, and sexually assaulted me on multiple occasions… in his own twisted mind, he called that love. And maybe in my own twisted mind, I did too.”

I glanced back at my father through the glass windows. He was still staring straight ahead at the unlit fireplace. It made me wonder whether he had known this all long, or if my mother had told him this tonight.

“I’m not saying that Vadik was born a monster.” She continued. “I had to crouch in this wall space he hammered out for me behind my bed, to protect me from our father. Most nights I would hold myself tight as I silently listened to my father beat him unconscious. I don’t think most monsters are born monsters, there’s often something devastating to shape them into that. My father was that. While Vadik had apologized in every way he’s thought possible through the years, he’s still holding onto the feelings that we had for each other when we were together. The feelings that are now completely one sided and unwarranted.”

I felt another chill run through me as the air grew colder out here. I couldn’t tell how much time had passed anymore. Brad took a deep inhale from his cigarette, allowing the thick clouds to blow out over the balcony.

“When I found out I was pregnant with Brad, I was terrified. Vadik was overjoyed. He had always talked about being a father. Being better than the father this world decided to grace us with. By then, I knew what he was doing was hurting me. I knew I couldn’t stay in that house any longer. I didn’t lie to you two about leaving, but I did lie about how I left. I wish back then I had the strength to severe ties from him. To severe ties completely from that life. There was just too much holding me there.

“The money we gave Vadik wasn’t to keep his distance from the company. He didn’t have interest in my growing wealth or what I was creating with your father. The money I sent him was out of guilt for leaving. Leaving him with our father. It didn’t take long before he managed to get out, himself. Vadik was always resourceful. He was blessed with a beautiful mind, but plagued with a unfruitful environment.

“In order to protect Brad, I told Vadik I lost the baby shortly after I left home. When our servers were hacked, it only cemented the fact that he had discovered I lied. Now there really isn’t much I can do to protect either of you.”

With that last paragraph, my mother sounded unrecognizably defeated- it was something I had never detected in her voice before.

I glanced at Brad. We both didn’t know how to respond to that. With the background check I had requested on our mother right before our trip to Hawaii, we were able to see that she had kept ties with Vadik after leaving Russia. At the time, it contradicted the story she told us about Vadik finding our parents years later, and asking for money.

After hearing the full story, I could understand why she felt the need to lie.

••

08

Hello there lovelies!

Just to clear a few things up from the previous chapter because my dumbass didn’t proofread, but I also think a few things were misinterpreted.

Anna was sexually assaulted by Vadik.

I did mention assault in her dialogue that I think may have been missed by some, but none of that was consensual. Consent needs to be given, as in it is a term of common speech. If someone hasn’t directly and verbally (or written) given you consent, the sexually acts can (and under law,

would

) be classified as non consensual.

Silence is not consent.

I didn’t get into the graphics of her sexual assault because writing something like that would be too triggering for myself, and my own personal experiences.

So, to make things easier on both myself, and many other readers who may have also gone through something this horrific, let’s chalk this up to the fact that Anna was indeed sexually assaulted.

(Also, I am DEEPLY sorry for forgetting to add a trigger warning to that previous chapter, but it has since been updated.)

For those who asked why Anna wouldn’t have explained this to her children earlier, please keep in mind how absolutely traumatic this experience can be for a person.

You cannot “choose” a side, if you do not fully understand where each character is coming from. Understanding often comes from traumatic experiences, and don’t get me wrong, I’d never wish this upon

ANYONE

… but it’s difficult to speak on a situation you haven’t personally experienced.

As always, thank you to everyone who read and even weighed in, but a special thanks to the few who really broke down what abuse, and even Stockholm syndrome is.

And as always, I love you guys s’much

xoxo

Christian

My mother brought her glass to her mouth again, as if she was going to take another sip. She hadn’t even realized the glass was done until no liquid touched her lips. I thought she may have excused herself to refill it, but she remained where she was, leaning against the bannister with her back to us now.

“I kept all this from you two, because I thought I was done with that life… or maybe that’s what I’m telling myself. Shame and embarrassment played a large role. I mean, just look at you two. I raised such strong men, I couldn’t fathom showing you that weakness. My more broken parts , if you may.” She turned to set the empty glass on the table Brad and I were seated by.

When the light caught her eyes, I realized that she had started to silently cry. There was no indication, besides the wetness of her cheeks. I hadn’t even heard her sniffle.

This woman somehow managed to cry with elegance.

“The one thing I don’t regret- the one thing I will never regret, is you Bradford.” I heard her voice break. “I know I haven’t been the best mother. I know I’ve failed you in ways I may never be able to mend, and for that, I am so sorry мой ребенок.”

Hearing her transition to Russian made her accent that much stronger.

“It was a painful part of my life, and I was so young. Barely an adult when I had you. I missed out on holding you. Nurturing you. I felt like I missed the most critical parts of your life when you were in that orphanage.

“I always thought about how that had affected me, but it was selfish and heartless on my end to not consider you. You inherited every good part of me- the parts I’m still trying to find within myself these days. Kindness. Generosity. Empathy. This hard exterior I grew was never a choice on my part. I used to tell myself I wasn’t growing cold, I was just adjusted to the climate of this world… but seeing both of you sitting here, dealing with the fallout from my mistakes, makes me realize that’s not the case.”

I watched as my mother dabbed her cheek dry with the satin sleeve from her robe. It didn’t seem all that helpful, as more liquid ran down her face.

Brad was the first to move.

He took the last puff of smoke from his cigarette, before killing it on the metal edge of the glass table. When he stood, I heard the chair legs grind against the wood panels of the floor. I wasn’t sure what he was going to do as he approached our mother, but when his hands tentatively wrapped around my mother, I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“You went about this situation in the messiest way possible.” He spoke, as she eventually allowed his large frame to encompass her.

I hadn’t even processed this till now, but the fact that this was maybe one of the few hugs I’d ever seen my mother allow… just further validated the real fucked up approach my mother had, when it came to affection.

“But you’re still my mother.” Brad continued. “You came back for me all those years ago. You didn’t have to, but you did.”

That part made my own eyes start to sting.

“There really isn’t a book on parenting, and there sure as hell isn’t a book on parenting your child who just so happens to be your nephew.”

My mother’s hands finally wrapped themselves around Brad. I could see the dark tear stains on her sleeves when the light from the moon, hit the silk fabric.

“All I ever wanted was unconditional love. I think that’s what any child would ever want from their parents. Your love came with conditions… but that was because it was the only way you knew how to love- either of us, really. I’ve had the opportunity to gain some new friends over these past few months, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that there’s nothing you’ve done that can’t be mended. All that’s required, is work… And for a women with such work ethic as yourself, I don’t think you’ll have much trouble in that area.”

Brad’s hold tightened around my mother as she started to shake into his chest. I could see his eyes were glossing over, but I knew Brad too well. He always held it together for the rest of us.

“The one thing I would like to know is why Dad is sitting on the couch in sweatpants, drinking wine.” Brad added. That caused my mother to eventually pull away. She had left tear stains on Brad’s sweater, but when she went to go dab it dry, Brad shooed her hands away. “Don’t worry about it.” He mumbled. My mother brought Brad’s head down to give him a kiss on his forehead. I saw that she whispered something to him, but I couldn’t detect what it was.

“I was wondering the same thing.” I added, unable to let my own curiosity die. “Did he find out about the extent of your past tonight?” I almost didn’t want to believe that. My parents never kept secrets with each other.

My suspicions were confirmed by my mother shaking her head no.

“You’re father has dug himself into an entirely different hole, and all on his own at that.” She replied, as she dried the last of her tears.

That just made my heart drop to my stomach.

While I wouldn’t give my family up for any other, I was starting to get real sick and fucking tired of their bullshit.

“What do you mean?” Brad asked.

My mother reached for her glass almost instinctively, before she was reminded that her wine was all gone. “Well,” she sighed, “I’m sure you both remember Yakiv.”

Mine and Brad’s eyebrows furrowed almost immediately. That name had stuck a chord, but I couldn’t exactly pinpoint why.

“Dad’s military buddy?” Brad asked. He connected the dots for me almost immediately.

Slav had mentioned Yakiv in some of his old stories from his time serving. However, the stories father told about that time were few and far between, so it was hard to remember.

“That’s him, yes.” My mother nodded. “He was also one of the first partners your father had, when your father threw himself into his research work overseas. It looks like he will be paying us a visit these next few days.”

That just made both mine and Brad’s eyebrows furrow even deeper.

“Isn’t that… isn’t that a good thing?” Brad asked.

My mother shook her head no again.

“It would have been, if your idiot of a father didn’t drunkenly promise Christian’s hand in marriage.”

••

09

Christian

I was first to make a sound. Any sound. The sound that fell past my lips, was a dry chuckle.

“You… you must be joking, right?” I asked our mother. “I mean, father would never agree to-”

It was Brad who interrupted me first. “Well I’m sure he wouldn’t sober. Dad drunk is a whole different type of situation.” Brad took a seat again on the terrace chairs. Clearly, an entirely different kind of conversation was about to ensue.

Brad wasn’t wrong, however. While it took damn near a liquor store to get the guy drunk, when Slav did reach that state, anything was possible. We’d only had the opportunity to see my father wasted like that a handful of times. He told us he left much of his heavy drinking where it should’ve been left- in the past.

I now couldn’t help but wonder when he had made such a promise.

“But regardless, it’s not like father really has to uphold any of that, right?” Brad continued.

“I’m more confused by why he felt comfortable enough to make a promise like that in the first place.” I interjected. “Drunk or sober.” Regardless of how much liquor was in his system, Slav must have known this wouldn’t have gone well.

“In your fathers defense, up until recently we all thought you’d die alone.” My mother spoke. “You’ve recycled through women at lightning speed- both professionally, and personally. We thought maybe it would be best if we found someone for you.”

Before I could even reply to my mother’s ridiculous comment, Brad was quick to come to my own defense.

“I’m pretty sure every woman Christian has decided to see, was forced upon him by you, mother. I don’t think this would be your best argument right now.” It was the sound of Brad’s lighter igniting, that drew both mine and our mother’s attention his way. This was now Brad’s second cigarette, which honestly, represented the mood quite accurately.

“Why don’t we go join your father. I believe he can explain this mess much better than I.” My mother started. I could see her eyes darting to the empty glass of wine. She clearly needed a refill, and I needed to get out of this damn cold. Brad seemed unfazed, however.

“You two go on ahead. I’m just going to finish this here, then I’ll join you.” Brad nodded our way, as I lead our mother back through the glass doors.

Slav was right where we had left him, except he had now crossed one leg neatly over the other. With the glass of wine in hand, my father officially looked like a middle aged mother after a long day at the office. “Dad.” I nodded his way, trying to get his attention as I took a seat on the love chair across from him.

He looked like he was in a daze. The small nod in my general direction was his indication of acknowledging me, but I received nothing more.

“Mum told us you made a promise to Yakiv- Dad? Are you listening to me?” I asked again, a little harsher. This finally caused my father to rip his eyes away from the unlit fireplace. When they landed on mine, I felt a shiver run down my spine.

This was possibly the first time I had seen my father this expressionless.

“I’m listening.” He said quietly.

His defeated expression made me dial my anger back just a bit. “What the hell happened?” I asked.

There was an elongated pause before he replied. One that built up the tension and mystery even further.

“I was taken advantage of, my sweet sweet boy.” My father whispered, letting his head fall back into the couch dramatically.

“Taken advantage of?” I asked.

“My Yakiv. If I was to have known that he was that serious… and to think I thought he was just checking in… all that liquor…” I was doing my best to piece together my fathers discombobulated thoughts. From the way he made it sound, it seemed like my father may have seen Yakiv right before his visit here.

I wasn’t sure whether to be more concerned or less. First off, it seems like my father had absolutely no memory of agreeing to this, which alarmed me. The fact that it was this recent also alarmed me.

“Did Yakiv call or something?” I asked. It was my mother who shook her head first.

“Oh no, love. Yakiv paid us a visit.”

That made my eyes grow large. “H-He’s here?” I asked in disbelief. No wonder Slav looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“Yes. He touched down in the States two days ago. Your father had absolutely no recollection of what he agreed to until Yakiv brought out the documents.” My mother explained.

“Documents?” Both Brad and I asked at the same time. I was so distracted by the conversation, I hadn’t even heard the glass doors open again. Brad stepped through, shutting the door behind him in an attempt to keep the sudden gusts of cold wind out. I felt one drift through the room, causing me to hug my arms closer to my chest.

“Your father signed a contract.”

“He did what? “ Brad demanded, now speed walking towards our position in the living room. I could tell almost instantly that the fun Brad was gone, and he was now replaced by the family lawyer Brad. “What the hell do you mean you signed a contract?”

My fathers quick flash of anger made it clear he didn’t fancy Brad’s choice of words, but he didn’t protest it. Instead, he sighed. “It was so long ago, and I thought surely it would be a win-win. If neither you nor Yakiv’s daughter weren’t married by a certain time, we thought we could arrange one for you.”

“Wait wait wait, when did you sign the contract?” Brad asked. His confusion mirrored what the fuck I was feeling. I thought this was a recent thing? If not, then what happened right before Slav left?

“Yakiv originally brought up this idea a few years ago. Back then, you were seeing what’s her face- Brittany? Brandy?”

“Bridge.” I corrected him. That made his eyebrows furrowed.

“The fuck kind of name is that?” Slav interjected. That made me grin.

“It’s really Bridget but Christian insists on calling her Bridge.” Brad elaborated. Hilariously, that just made my fathers furrow deepen.

“I don’t- I don’t understand- you know what, not the point. I thought you’d be fine with that Bridge girl. Never in a million years had I thought that you’d-”

“Be gay?” I offered.

“Fall for your fucking assistant.” Slav finished. That got a chuckle out of me. Sometimes it surprised even myself how open my parents were about Alex and I’s relationship. I had to constantly remind myself of how grateful I was for having parents that accepted that so easily.

God forbid I had to explain my sexuality to these people. I felt like they wanted to know about as little as I wanted them to know, and it worked out in almost perfect harmony between us.

“That… that wasn’t necessarily planned.” I tried to explain. “In my defense, it was Alex who seduced me. I, too, was taken advantage of.” I dropped my head back into the couch in the same dramatic way my father had. He sent me cold glare.

“Well, regardless, I didn’t think you’d find someone else. I thought Breanne-

“Bridget.” Brad corrected.

“Right, her. I thought she was the one?”

“Thankfully, no.” I replied. “The fact that you didn’t even know her name, should have been a dead giveaway that she wasn’t the one.”

That made my fathers eyebrows raise again. “I never knew you cared much for my approval.”

My heart clenched slightly with guilt. “Of course I care. Unfortunately, mother’s approval is mandatory… but I sincerely value your input.” Slav’s words made me feel something I hadn’t really felt in regards to my father. He wasn’t exactly around here much, or for long, but I never took into account how much he really cared about- especially when it related to my personal life.

Maybe it would be good to invite him and Alex out for lunch.

“I’m sure your father just wanted you to find someone. To be happy. It looks like you finally have.” My mother replied. That made my lips curl up into a smile… but it didn’t negate from the fresh load of bullshit my father had just dumped on us. I was still confused on the timeline of when this all happened, or rather how .

“Unfortunately, father has promised my hand to another.” I couldn’t help but respond with.

The room grew silent, as I watched my father pour himself another glass of wine. He paused midway, almost debating whether this would be enough… but then he continued to pour until the liquid touched the brim of the glass.

Clearly, a better explanation was going to have to present itself when my father was a little less wine drunk.

It was Brad’s words which broke up the uncomfortable silence.

“I mean there seems to be one definitive loophole to the contract…” he started, settling into the cushioned chair across from me.

“And what’s that?” I asked.

“You could just marry Alex.” He shrugged.

••

10

Well shit lovelies, I wish I had a valid excuse for the late upload but I really just had a great time celebrating my sisters birthday, and Halloween! I meant to get chapters up at the beginning of this week but ya girl forgot that she had to tune in for this ghetto ass custody battle of the United States.

How is everyone doing?

Honestly my anxiety has been through the fucking roof, and I’ve just been trying to avoid what I can- dip in only for highlights.

That being said, remember remember the fifth of November…

(Iykyk)

Andddd

Happy reading, lovelies! As always, thanks you so much for your support. Please stay safe during and after these elections.

xoxo

Alex

By the time I made it home and into my own bed, I was astonished by how much energy I actually had. Granted, Christian and I spent most of the day asleep… but somehow I thought I’d be able to get back to bed.

When I checked the time on my bedside alarm, it informed me that we were soon approaching one in the morning. I had settled myself under the covers almost an hour ago, yet sleep was the farthest thing from accessible. It was my phone vibrating on the nightstand, that brought me out of the comfortable silence and free flowing thoughts.

The caller ID said it was Christian.

I’d been around this man for months, yet every time I saw his name pop up, it made my heartbeat quicken.

I wanted it to be for romantic reasons, but I knew it was so much more than that. He could have be calling for my company… for my advise… or in a last ditch effort to have someone help him move a body.

The possibilities were truly endless.

“Hey there.” I answered.

“Hi.” He replied. His voice was raspy, and I couldn’t tell if it had been from sleep or not. It was hard to believe he had found the time to get anymore, especially considering Jen had let me know that Brad hadn’t made it home yet. That was about an hour or so ago.

Maybe they both planned on staying at Anna’s?

I found that just highly unlikely… but very few things could surprise me at this point.

Joan had filled me in about the details of her trip, which in return made me squeal like a five year old child, and dance around my apartment. Apparently her and Brad had shared a kiss, but when I pressed her for details, she insisted there wasn’t much more to tell.

Just like Christian and I, their own intimate moments were interrupted by a message from Slav and Anna. That made my heart sink some, considering just how slow I felt like these two moved. It was all chemistry with Joan and Brad, so my impatient ass just couldn’t understand the hold up.

“I was just checking in, making sure you made it home okay.” He continued into the line. It was difficult to pay attention to his words, when his voice was turning me on ever so greatly. My body was acting like we hadn’t just been together mere hours ago.

When I did process what he was saying, that made me smile. “I did, thank you. Dinner was great, you’ll have to tell Nathaniel thank you again for me.”

“You could always come here and tell him yourself.” Christian replied suggestively. Even though we weren’t face to face, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“It’s practically one in the morning, Christian.” I reminded him.

“The night is still young.” He countered. That made my eyebrows arch high. No the fuck it was not .

“Do you still expect me to come into work tomorrow?”

There was a long pause on Christian’s end as he truly pondered it. When I heard a sigh escape his lips, I knew he had chosen the responsible decision.

“I guess.” Those word felt like they were forced out. “If you would like to come in around nine, I won’t mind. The launch was a great success, and based of Brad’s composed data, it looks like we’re on track with manufacturing.”

Those few work words already started to make my brain hurt. I’d forgotten the bullshit we left behind as soon as we touched down in Hawaii.

“Sounds like a plan.” I sighed, allowing the energy I thought I had, to quickly pass through me.

“I’ll try to whisk you away sometime tomorrow. I’ve got a few meetings through the day but I’ll do my best to catch a break. For now, sleep well love. I’ll see you in the morning.”

That last part made my body feel all the fucking things. I had to force myself to let him go.

“Goodnight, Handsome.” I replied, before I heard the call end.

By the time I managed to get the fuck up the next morning, I almost stumbled out of bed. I’d somehow managed to sleep till nine thirty.

“Hey gorgeous, I don’t want to alarm you but everyone else is here at work already. Were you taking the day off or something?” Joan asked through the line as I struggled to get my teeth brushed with one hand, while figuring out how to style my rapidly growing hair with the other.

“Oh girl that’s comical at best. Christian would lay on the cross and die before he gave me a day off willingly, especially at the start of the new week. I’m rushing to get my shit together as we speak, and I should be there in less than half an hour!” I replied. I could hear her chuckling through the speaker phone as she typed away at her desk.

“You might be in some luck.  I heard from Josie in marketing that Christian’s been in a meeting for most of the morning. I’m getting some inbound calls so I gotta go, but hurry the hell on up and I’ll cover for you.” She got out quickly before ending the call.

I got back to the miracles I was trying to work in this bathroom with the ten minutes I had left.

It was about as busy in the office, as it sounded over the line with Joan. When I made it up to the third floor to get clocked in, both Joan and Derek were on calls that looked intense and long. Joan had her you’re starting to try the very essence of my patience voice, while Derek was starting to be outright disrespectful with his customer.

“Listen lady, it says coming soon because it’s coming soon . There are no pre-orders available yet on the this item, which you would have already known if you bothered to read the description because the website clearly tells you that-” when Derek and I made eye contact, he finished the sentence by mouthing the words you

illiterate bitch, to me. A laugh slipped past my lips before I could stop it.

How the fuck did he still have his job here?

Joan’s conversation was a little nicer, but not by much…

“Sir, this is the fourth time you’ve cut me off with vastly incorrect assumptions, while I’ve attempted to assist you. If you don’t want assistance, just say that.” When her and I locked eyes, she mouthed if you want my fucking job, just say that .

That made me outwardly laugh again. This customer probably had another two minutes before Joan would say her goodbyes and hang up. Derek was known to proceed with a flair of rudeness until the customer either hung up or escalated the call.

Seriously, the status of his employment puzzled me every fucking day.

I sent them both a thumbs up at the stellar work they’ve done at not outwardly cussing the customers out just yet, then I was on my way.

It still felt odd taking the elevator up to the fifth floor instead of the first, and I had been doing it for months now. When I did reach the fifth floor, I was just happy to see it was back to normal.

Working last Saturday had successfully given me PTSD. I didn’t want to even think about that shit show.

As I approached my office located directly next to Christians, I noticed Christian was in his own office. The door was closed, but his blinds remained open. As I took a peek through the windows in passing, I could see two people sitting across from him.

I found it to be a bit odd that Christian was meeting with them directly, here. Usually any meeting that took place in his personal office, was with important figures of future relations… and I hadn’t seen anything penciled in before we left for Hawaii.

The first figure was a man. Surprisingly, this man was built like Slav. Large. Very very large, with his lightly greying hair tied back into a bun. He didn’t have a beard the length of Slav’s, but rather short peppered stubble that only aided in his attractiveness. He was the type of man you could possible never guess the age of. 

A silver Fox if you may.

The woman that sat next to him, however, made me stop dead in my tracks.

She was a blonde, just venturing on the verge of a dirty blonde mix. It was her features that drew me in almost automatically. The dramatic black winged eyeliner that gave her a sharp edgy look, coupled with an entire sleeve of tattoos. I was too far to make out the exact ink, yet the sheer badassery it added to her aura was unmissable.

They didn’t look like potential business for Ivanov Corp….

I couldn’t help but wonder who these two were, and what they wanted with Christian.

••

11

Mannn it’s been a minute, my apologies! US elections are still a mess, and my skin care routine has yet to fix these bags under my eyes, so ya girls been big stressin lol.

Thank you so so much for the recent traction on this work.

Y’all are just fucking amazing, seriously.

Happy reading, lovelies!

Christian

“Mr. Ivanov?” Christie, one of the desk clerks spoke into the line almost as soon as I picked up the phone.

“What’s up?” I asked, already paying the conversation close to no attention. Sleep deprivation was real this morning.

“There are two visitors here to see you- I know you usually don’t take anything unscheduled, and I don’t see anything on my planner here-”

“Go ahead and send them up.” I replied, cutting her off before ending the call.

The visitors coming to see me, weren’t pencilled in. They didn’t need to be. I knew exactly who they were thanks to my father, but I didn’t want the entire company knowing who they were just yet. Slav’s drunk yet guided words he said to me the night before, was to contain everything as much as possible until he figured out a solution.

So that was my plan for today.

As soon as the first man walked through, I stood up at attention. Though the years had added some wrinkles, and greyer hair, it was impossible to forget a face like his.

“Yakiv.” I smiled wide, extending my hand for a handshake. The large built man did something that wasn’t entirely uncalled for, but I definitely wasn’t expecting… he pulled me in for a hug.

Just feeling the solidity and mass of his body as he engulfed mine, made me ridged. The guy felt like he could end me with a single flick of his finger. He smelt of pine cones, an oddly comforting scent.

“Christian, my boy! Fuck, I guess man now? Let me get a good look at ya.” His voice was rough as he bellowed into my ears. I felt those large hands wrap themselves around the back of my neck to yank me away from him. Being this close to the guy made my skin start to crawl. I felt like a fucking ant.

“Y-Yakiv.” I choked out, completely caught off guard as he finally released me. I couldn’t be sure, but for a minute there during this hug, I was almost positive my feet had left the ground. “I-It’s wonderful to see you again.”

I blinked repeatedly, in an attempt to regain my vision. It had been momentarily stripped from me by the hard as fuck pats Yakiv had given my back. When I was able to refocus, my eyes zeroed in on the second visitor that walked into my office. This one was a women. A woman I didn’t recognize.

And just like her father, there was no way I’d forget a face like hers.

When her eyes met mine, I felt just the smallest shiver run through me. I had no idea why, but her demeanor was almost scarier than Yakiv’s. That didn’t directly match her petite frame. She wasn’t necessarily short, I’d venture to say she was taller than the average height for females.

Her thin frame didn’t look weak however, quite the opposite. When she slipped off her jacket to reveal partial sleeves, I could see her muscular arms underneath. It was the arm full of ink, that momentarily distracted me.

“I hope this wasn’t too short notice. Thank you for meeting with us today, I thought we could go ahead and get this ball rolling now that me and Roslana have touched down in the States.” Yakiv’s voice continued to fill the office as we all took a seat.

Roslana.

It was a beautiful name- fitting for such a beautiful woman, but I watched her flinch as her father said it. She only held my gaze for a fraction of a moment, before looking away.

At first I thought she broke eye contacts bashfully, but her eyes started to dart around my office. I noticed her eyeing the bookshelf I almost never touched, located at the far right side of the room. It was filled with tons of law books that were actually Brad’s. He convinced me it was a good look for the office, but I was almost certain he was just using me to store them here.

He never touched them either.

I watched as Roslana pushed herself up from her seat, to walk towards the bookcase. She pulled a book out off the top shelf, one of the many that looked all too alike. My mouth opened to say something, but I closed it seconds later.

Yakiv shifted in his seat that was absolutely positively too small for him. I was convinced that every chair he must have ever sat in, was too small for him. He looked a bit uncomfortable, but didn’t address it as he continued.

“I would love for you two to start spending time together. Get to know one another. I’ve made arrangements for specific appointments that must be met for the ceremony but I’ll leave most of the decision making up to you two.” Yakiv wasted no time jumping into things.

I watched as Roslana flipped through the mundane text. To my surprise, she looked quite interested in what she was reading. Even Brad thought the writing in those law books was drier than overcooked turkey breast.

On reflex, I wanted to say no. To decline the whole thing, and have someone escort these two out of my building… but Slav’s wine drunk words rang through me again. I just had to play along for now, and buy him some time.

“I- I wasn’t aware of the promise my father made with you.” I did my best to choose my words carefully. “I am looking forward to getting to know Roslana, and I’ll make sure my assistant is briefed on the scheduled appointments.”

I didn’t want to even begin to think about the conversation I was going to have to have with Alex this afternoon. Him being my assistant and all, he’d be seeing every one of these appointments on my schedule… but him being my boyfriend meant I couldn’t so easily hide a whole ass wedding.

“That is what I like to hear.” Yakiv replied, standing just as abruptly as Roslana had. “I’m going to go pay a visit to your father now. Why don’t you two converse for a bit until I return?” He asked both of us. Roslana didn’t even bother to look up from the book, but she nodded at her fathers words.

“That sounds good.” I replied verbally for the both of us, as I stood to shake Yakiv’s hand. It was a mistake on my part for forgetting this giant was a hugger.

He pulled me by my hand into his insane frame. When my head collided with his chest, it felt like I had hit a fucking wall. The main issue was the fact that my desk was in between us. This resulted in my upper body being squeezed by Yakiv, while my lover half was assaulted by the sharp wooden edge. I felt every last second of that hug, before he finally released me.

“I’ll see you two lovebirds soon.” Was the last thing he said before taking his leave. I half expected him to leave my office door open, but he closed it behind him on his way out.

Now it just Roslana and I.

She still hadn’t looked my way once, after picking up that book. I wasn’t sure what to say to break the silence. I wasn’t sure if I should, considering how deep into the literature she appeared to be. Luckily, it was Roslana who spoke first.

When her voice cut through the air, it sent even more shivers down my spine. Her voice was harsh. Thick. Everything you’d expect from a truck driver… or a killer.

“My father is quite serious about this, it seems.” Her accent was dare I say even thicker than her fathers.

“It appears that way.” I replied. It gave me some level of comfort to know that Roslana was just about as thrilled about this, as I was.

“Are you looking for a wife?” She asked me. That on the spot question made me hesitate a moment.

“I-… No. I-I’m not looking for a wife.” I forced out after some time.

Her eyes finally tore themselves away from the page she was reading, too lock eyes with me. She was wearing this dramatic eyeliner that made her eyes look even sharper than I swear they did just moments ago.

“I am.” She replied.

At first that response baffled me. I couldn’t look away as her gaze held mine with a fierceness. My initial reply was a confused “Oh?”

But as time passed, what she said finally clicked for me. The second word to pass through my lips was the same as the first…

But this was a whole different type of Oh .

••

12

Alex

I’d been so immersed in work, I hadn’t felt the alert vibrations of my phone. The thing was buried under stacks of paper I had lazily tossed everywhere and when I finally managed to locate the fucker, it stopped ringing. I saw that I had missed a call from Christian.

He didn’t even give me the time to redial, before I saw his work extension pop up on my desk phone.

“H-Hey.” I stuttered out into the line, flustered by the sudden distraction. It was difficult to tell what was and wasn’t serious with Christian because he lacked patience regardless of the scenario.

The building could’ve been on fire, or this could just be his hunger. Everything warranted the same ridiculous response in his eyes.

“Where are you?” He asked me. His voice sounded a bit distanced- like he was trying to focus on the conversation with me, but also multitask with a few other things. Odds were, that was probably the case.

“I’m… in my office, Christian.” I hesitantly replied. I mean, he was calling me on my desk phone. Where else would I be? Besides on the other side of this wall. I couldn’t tell if this was a trick question.

“R-Right right, of course…” he mumbled to himself, then paused for a moment. “Would you mind coming here for a moment? I wanted to speak with you about something.”

That made the hands that had already started to busy themselves with more work, freeze almost immediately. This clearly wasn’t a conversation about Christian’s hunger or some other irrelevant topic, I could tell by his tone.

“Sure thing. Let me clean up, and I’ll come over.” I replied. There was another few mumbled words which I think were meant to be a thank you before the line went dead. “Odd.” I whispered aloud to myself.

The paperwork was almost impossible to fully clean up. Maybe it was my impatience to see exactly what it was that had Christian so frazzled… but something told me it was the fact that I didn’t even know where to begin. Between the edits and re-edits of similar documents, everything looked alike in my eyes.

By the time I made it to Christian’s office, I noticed his door was slightly ajar, but his blinds were shut now. I thought about just peaking in, but the well mannered individual I was couldn’t have that. Instead I gave the door frame a few knocks.

“Come in.” I heard Christian’s disgruntled reply.

When his eyes found mine, however, it made me certain that that agitation wasn’t meant to be directed my way. Those serious lines that formed between his brows when he furrowed them, eased away, as his face relaxed into an easy smile.

“I’m sorry love, I didn’t know it was you.” Once our eyes met, his didn’t leave mine as he pushed himself away from his desk.

Though I’d taken a peek at his appearance earlier this morning, it was like Christian had some reset button. He looked dare I say even more perfect than earlier in the day. The shirt chosen this morning was white, with a deep navy blue tie. When my eyes broke our connection, it was to watch him loosen that tie in possibly the most sexiest motion I’d ever seen.

“I-It’s o-okay.” I tripped over each word like a shy school girl. He advanced me with such purpose, I started forgetting how that breathing shit worked again. It was when he reached past me to close and lock the office door, that damn near put me into cardiac arrest… for a few reasons- if I do say so myself.

The first was his proximity to me. As he reached past me, I got a whiff of everything. The after shave… the light yet intoxicating scent of cologne… I felt myself leaning further into him as his movements were treacherously slow.

I wanted to see the face he had given the rest of the office, before he closed the door shut. I wondered if it mirrored the same lust I had etched on mine.

Once I heard that lock click, Christian’s body collided with mine, pushing me back into the firm wooden door as his lips latched onto my own. I felt oxygen leave me completely, kissing him back with just as much need.

It felt like I hadn’t kissed him in ages.

One of his hands moved from the handle of the locked door, to cup my neck firmly. The other hand held my hip against the door. When he slid a leg in between my parted ones to grind against my already hard cock, I understood why the hand was there. I felt my body start to buckle, but the hold he had on me kept me in place.

“C-Christian-” I tried to get out when he pulled away. I thought it was for some much needed oxygen, but instead those now swollen lips had attached themselves to my neck, and I literally felt my knees go weak.

Luckily, this Greek god of a man had the capacity to adapt to such changes. I felt both of his large hands cup my thighs before lifting my up into a straddle position against the door. The pressure to weight held ration was fucking perfect, meshing his upper body into mine as I felt his teeth graze against my sensitive skin.

When he ground his cock directly against mine, I let out the most vocal, startling moan. That pulled me right into the present moment, and right where I was… which was pinned up against my bosses door with both his hands in dangerous fucking territories.

Before Christian could completely undress me, I reluctantly pulled away. The face he made almost made me go back on my initial decision. He had the cutest pout on his lips.

“W-We can’t do t-this h-here.” I tried to say. Everything came out as more of a moan from my short breaths. “W-Was this what you wanted to talk about?”

It was an empty question. We both knew it wasn’t.

This was definitely Christian buying himself some time.

His eyes cast down to my lips as he slowly lowered me to the floor. Those same hands were slow to leave my ass, taking their time massage every inch of the area before eventually pulling up to my waist.

My legs felt wobbly, like a dawn taking its first steps. When I glanced further down at his pouted lips again, I couldn’t help myself. I leant forward on the tips of my feet, to place my swollen ones against his. It was light, and slow, and gentle- something too alluring when his fingers grazed my cheek…

Luckily, my curiosity had already been decided. I slowly pulled away, settling back on my heels.

“That wasn’t why you called, was it?” I asked him. His lips twitched up into a slight smile, but I felt my stomach churn when I realized there wasn’t any actual happiness there.

It was one of those you’re not going to like what I have to say kinda looks.

“No.” He shook his head, finally separating himself completely so he could gesture me to have a seat. I slid into one of his lush guest chairs, the same one I had seen that blonde sitting in earlier today. Christian took a seat on the edge of his desk, which kept me literally eye level with his crotch.

He was hard. Very… very hard.

The suit pants had bunched up around the massive bulge and- fuck .

I started to sing church hymns in my head as I did everything in my power to keep my eyes on his. Everything.

“Do you remember the two people who were in my office here this morning?” He asked. His voice was hoarse, almost hindering me unable to understand what the fuck he just asked me. Luckily, he dove further. “I think I noticed you pause a moment before entering your office. It was an older man and a younger woman.”

I cleared my throat, continuing with the internal hymns.

“Y-Yes, I remember seeing them in passing this morning.” It startled me that Christian even noticed. I didn’t think he glanced my way once.

“That older man’s name is Yakiv.” Christian continued. “He is a close friend to my father. They actually served together for many years. Truth be told, I haven’t really seen the man in years. The woman beside him this morning is Roslana, that’s his daughter…” Christian trailed off.

At first I thought he had just taken a breath.

But then he took another.

And another.

“I guess- well, I don’t even know how to begin to put this…” I did my best to be patient with him, but at this point I was two more breathes away from slapping it out of him. “To spare you the semantics, my father may have essentially, drunkenly given my hand in marriage to Yakiv’s daughter.”

Now it was my turn to breathe.

••

(Also, if y’all want a more intimate view into my life…

(not sure who would really ever want this. It’s a real proceed at your own risk kinda thing)

my snapchat is monkeypolice101)

13

Christian

I watched Alex’s face intently as my words started to sink in. The initial emotion was confusion, and I didn’t blame him. When I first heard it myself, I thought Slav must have been pulling my leg. If it wasn’t for the wine, sweatpants, and just all together look of a mental breakdown, I probably wouldn’t have believed him at all.

Alex’s mouth opened to say something, but he closed it moments later.

Then he opened it again.

Then closed it… again.

I watched as those lips parted once more. Third time must have been the charm because words finally formed.

“I- I’m n-not, I-” Yeah I wasn’t sure I would call these words. He took a moment to clear his throat. “I-I’m not entirely sure how to respond to that. Um-” he coughed gently into his arm in an attempt to buy himself more time. “Clearly this wasn’t your doing, so I’m not mad or anything it’s just-”

That tight tension that started to spread through me, finally relaxed as Alex let out another sigh.

“I mean, where does this leave us? Do you plan on marrying her?”

“Oh god no.” I let out with incredible speed. “I-I mean she seems very lovely and everything, but I already have my endgame.”

Alex’s cheeks turned crimson by my comment, but I meant every word of it. Leaving him for anyone would be the largest downgrade imaginable. He was it for me. If I had to remind Alex of that every day for the rest of our lives, that was just the cross I was willing to bear.

“Roslana and I spoke. For now, we’ll continue with things as planned until Slav is able to work out this mess. I wanted to discuss that in particular with you, because you’d be in charge of monitoring the schedule for wedding plans, and potentially attending if your services are needed. If you don’t want to be involved with this Alex, that is one thousand perc-”

“Oh I’ll do it.” Alex spoke quickly, stopping me short. So quick, I think he took himself by surprise. “I- I mean, I-”

That just made me smile.

I pushed myself off the desk, taking a step towards Alex. This conversation about a marriage that wasn’t between me and Alex, didn’t do much to keep my hard on, hard … but when Alex’s gaze finally broke mine to take a look at the rest of me, I could feel that horniness returning with immaculate speed.

“I like that you want to be involved.” That sentence came out huskier than intended. “This will only be until Slav figures it out, but in the meantime we’ll make the most of the situation. I wouldn’t mind getting to fit you in a suit…” my hands rested at each side of Alex, holding myself up with the wooden slabs of the armrest.

His eyes had met mine again.

“It’s not the way I would have wanted this to happen, but it will allow for us to spend more time together too.” I continued, leaning in closer. Alex raised a hand up to my cheek, caressing it softly. His fingers felt cold against my skin, creating an oddly comforting feeling. I couldn’t help but lean into that touch.

It was intoxicating.

He was intoxicating.

“So far we’ve tackled my addict of a mother, the disgusting piss poor excuse of a human that is Vadik, and whatever insanity this job likes to dance with… what’s a wedding to a women you barely know? You do barely know her, right?” It was impossible to miss the jealousy woven into his voice.

That just turned me right the fuck on.

I forced myself to push that attractive territorial attitude towards the back of my mind so I could give this man a serious nod. “Right. I only met her father a handful of times myself, and it’s been some years since that.” I explained. Alex allowed himself to relax again.

“We’ll get through this the same way we’ve gotten through everything else.” He assured me.

Together , I thought.

Though I wanted nothing more than to jump Alex’s bones, he insisted that work wasn’t the place. That didn’t stop me from trying, pulling him into me once more before he managed to slip out of my office. When he was gone, I was met with that feeling. The same feeling I always felt when I wasn’t in his company.

This was starting to get serious- the way he was growing on me. I didn’t want to think I had become this attached this quickly, but I knew that I had. This man made me feel a lot of things, and most of the time, he made me feel them all at once.

I wasn’t sure what the fuck to do about that.

It was the office door unexpectedly opening that brought me back to the present moment. Brad shuffled in, closing the door behind him before walking over to set a cup of coffee on my desk. It was a pleasant and much appreciated surprise.

“Did you meet with Yakiv today?” He asked me. I gave him a nod.

“They paid me a visit this morning.”

Brad’s fingers played with the button on his suit coat as he took a drink from his own cup. From afar, the man looked put together… but sitting mere feet away from him allowed for me to see it all.

He was tired. I could tell he didn’t sleep well, but it was hard to determine when the last time was that either of us did. Between family and work, a peaceful night felt like wishful thinking.

“Have you decided on what you’re going to do?” Brad asked. With every word that slipped past his lips, I could hear the plastered professionalism leaving his soul. He sounded like he had maybe a few more working hours in him.

“Well, there isn’t much I can do at the moment. I decided to just go along with it. Buy Slav some time.” I explained. Brad nodded his head as my words processed. “The thing that took me by surprise the most has to be the fact that Roslana is gay.”

That made Brad choke on gulp he had taken from his cup.

“I-I’m sorry, she’s what?”

“Gay. Or is lesbian the more correct term? I dunno, I’m new to this.” I replied. Brad was still coughing from that unexpected sentence.

“Wait so- then why- wait. I… I’m confused.” He finally settled on. All I could do was nod, because that made two of us.

“It doesn’t look like Yakiv knows. Or maybe he does, and he just doesn’t approve. I wasn’t really getting the open and accepting vibe from him this morning.” I explained. The man gave me more I’ll kill you if you breathe incorrectly vibes.

“That’s quite the plot twist. I wonder how he’ll take the news when he finds out that you’re not only gay, but seeing someone else.” Brad joked. I gave him a look. The guy was probably going to kill me.

“Let’s hope Slav can figure something out so he never has to find out.” I mumbled more to myself than Brad.

“I mean, there is a sure fire way to get out of this. You could always just marry Alex.” Brad reminded me. That made me choke on my first sip of coffee. “Would it really be all that bad?”

I wasn’t even able to respond to that timely. Brad’s question made me think the thoughts I had been avoiding for most of the day.

Would it really be all that bad?

••

So, exciting news:

the second half of The CEO’s Addiction will be coming to Wattpad this February!

I also plan on finishing this book by then, so soon you’ll be able to read the trilogy in completion of you wish to do so.

That being said, I don’t plan on doing another partnership with platforms any time soon. While I was absolutely grateful for the opportunity, I wasn’t a fan of having restricted creativity. I don’t want my name slapped on anything that isn’t completely me, ya know?

Instead, I thought of something that may work better.

I’ve been working on building a website where I could post blogs, videos, and exclusive books/short stories that I’ve written on Wattpad but never posted.

So far there are 14 published books on Wattpad, but I have 15 other pieces of work that are unpublished.

I’ve been working on completing some of those, and they will be posted on my website.

There will be a monthly subscription to access these books, but I’m planning on keeping the price ultra low (just a couple bucks ($3) a month) and if you’re unable to afford that, that’s definitely ok!

I’ll still be writing here,

always

. My blog posts will be visible to anyone, whether you’re subscribed or not.

This will be launching around the time I complete the CEO’s Trilogy (February).

The books that will be on the website will have a sample released here just so you guys can read a bit and see if you like the content.

Let me know what you guys think!

As always,

Thank you.

xoxo

14

Alex

The rest of the day was the definition of uneventful, compared to my previous conversation with Christian. When I finally found a moment to slip away into the bathrooms, it was almost time for me to clock out.

The stalls were empty, but I hadn’t wandered in here to use them. Instead, I walked towards one of the large washing stations located against the wall to my right. When I caught sight of myself in the elongated mirrors, I frowned a frown so deep, it permanently implanted wrinkles into my appearance. My hair was a fucking wreck. Had I really ran my fingers through it that frequently and carelessly?

I dipped my hands under the automated faucet, letting the initially cold water run from my palms to the tips of my fingers. I brought my damp hands up to my face, slapping the cold water against the sensitive skin in an attempt to freshen myself up. The water did close to nothing.

I still looked like I’d been hit by a train.

I reached over for some paper towels to dab my face down. When I made eye contact with myself again, I tried to smile. My attempt at turning that frown upside down resulted in something more serial killer like, if anything.

Okay Alex, I thought to myself. This isn’t the end of the world.

Thoughts that started with those words were never promising.

Christian doesn’t actually plan on getting married, and it seems like he’s got confidence Slav will figure something out.

I thought back to what Christian had mentioned, about Slav drunkenly giving his hand in marriage. Between Christian and I, I swear it was something else every damn day.

I reached over for another paper towel. My face was fairly dry at this point, but the cheap material felt oddly satisfying against my cheeks.

All you need to do is download the schedule Yakiv’s assistant sent you and get it plugged into your own. It’s not that complicated , I continued to pep talk myself. My unconvinced eyes were staring right back at me, but I forced those feet to move forward.

I didn’t download the files until I was in bed at the elderly time of eight in the evening. Christian let me know he had plans on working late, and while going out for a drink with Joan and Derek sounded tempting, I still wasn’t ready to fall back into drinking again.

Instead, I had a cup of tea and some reruns of The Wire to catch. At least this was the excuse I ran with, I still hadn’t told Joan or Derek about the wedding. That was probably something Christian should decide on when to do.

The bottom of my company laptop felt cold as I balanced it against my bare knees and started to log in. From the pdf attached to the email, it looked like Yakiv planned on getting this wedding done in weeks.

I had never, in my life, seen something like that pull itself off… but somehow Yakiv was able to get reservations with some of the most highly ranked businesses. My eyes did a quick scan of the schedule, growing wider and wider with each recognizable name that came into view.

He had even snagged Tart of Hearts, one of the best high end bakeries in the state. Who the fuck was this man? I thought to myself.

The first appointment was set for the end of this week Friday. It looks like Yakiv wanted both Roslana and Christian to check out an artist for the venue. I went ahead and transferred the notes from Yakiv’s assistant, into my google calendar. Next week was going to be a heavier week, which meant that Christian was going to be irritated as fuck about it.

For the most part, Yakiv had scheduled times randomly as hell. Some appointments were in the evening… like there was this one florist appointment that was at 8:45pm.

Who the fuck was picking out wedding flowers at eight in the evening?

I thought about some of these venues though. Odds were, these were the only time slots available. Was it irritating that Yakiv clearly didn’t care about our own work schedule before throwing this together? Hell yes.

Did I think he really gave a fuck?

Absolutely not. Not one.

And that was just the hard pill I was going to have to swallow.

The day to go shopping for Roslana’s wedding dress was literally the end of next week. I hadn’t recognized the name of the company Yakiv decided upon, but the word dress was jotted right below, so I could only assume.

I wanted to search everything up, but I forced myself not to. What I didn’t need was me psyching myself out before we had even started. I’m sure Christian didn’t need that restless energy either, not a day went by where he didn’t seem to age just a little more.

All it did was skyrocket my daddy kink.

I wanted to teleport ourselves back to Hawaii, when we were on that beach… I craved that level of intimacy with him again.

Instead, I was planning his fucking wedding to another person.

Mr. Whiskers, my stuffed teddy, looked over at me in great disappointment. I had told myself I wouldn’t let it get to me, therefore, I couldn’t let it get to me.

It was hilarious how I thought emotions worked some days. Sure as hell wasn’t like this.

The third week was yet another week of heavy planning, but it looks like Yakiv and Roslana set the date for the end of that week. I’d like to think Roslana made some decisions, but I didn’t really get that sort of vibe from this scenario.

It was giving me arranged marriage vibes… mainly because this was literally an arranged marriage. I wondered how close Yakiv and Slav must have been… or maybe more or less how drunk. While I had nothing against arranged marriages for others, I had something against an arranged marriage to anyone other than me.

I also didn’t trust my parents like that. I’d literally take a razor scooter the ankle before I let my mother decide on who I was to marry. Knowing this woman, it would’ve probably been her drug dealer or something. Maybe for the few who trusted their parents enough, that could be a really interesting experience.

The fact of the matter was that Christian wasn’t single, or looking for marriage.

The venue chosen for the wedding had made me do a double take, however. Somehow they managed to book The Gardens. That made a deep shiver run down my spine.

Usually The Gardens was booked years in advance, particularly their main room. It was like having an outdoor wedding inside, with this beautiful all glass hall the opens up to the exposed sky. I had managed to try dinner there once with Derek a few years ago.

There wasn’t much I was positive about, but I’m pretty sure Derek lied his way in, and said I was his husband or something. We had been seated at a very romantic table which felt weird the entire night, but Derek doubled down, arguing that the end justified the means.

I hated him for how good that food tasted.

And I hated Yakiv for being able to book The Gardens.

••

Happy Holidays, Lovelies! Hopefully you all spent it eating good, drinking better, and knocking the wholesome fuck out best. This holiday season had me feeling nothing but grateful and I’m beyond words thankful to each and every one of you mfs that still read this shit.

There’s a fuck ton of you now and idk how we got here lol.

Thank you.

Go get fat on them leftovers, this is me giving you the green light to have that third slice of pie.

Love you guys with my whole chest. Both titties.

xoxo

15

Happy New Year, Lovelies!

I’m a sappy piece of shit on pretty much every chapter, so I’ll keep this brief. Thank you for getting through that trash chute of a year with me.

I love you guys.

xoxo

Alex

I google searched everything anyways.

I know I’d told myself to leave it alone tonight, and of course for good reason. All this did was make me even more irate. Everything looked so fucking beautiful, even the florist shop that was open late. Apparently the shop was best know for their custom flower arrangements that included small lights woven between each bouquet, to light up the flowers.

Eight in the evening had made a lot more sense now.

The only thing getting me through this was the constant reminder that Christian wasn’t actually planning on tying the knot. It didn’t help that the woman he’d be refusing, looked the way she did however.

That did nothing to soothe the soul.

Picturing her now while I was supposed to be working, also did nothing to halt my spiraling crazy.

I had wanted an excuse to break away and see Christian, but today was another busy day for the both of us. With all the times I caught myself daydreaming though, you wouldn’t have thought that.

It felt like each day this week was starting to shape up that way. Just an endless pile of work. We had now reached the end of the week, with tomorrow being Friday, and I truly couldn’t tell you how we got here.

I was interested in seeing what artist we were going to check out tomorrow- I believe that’s what was next on Christian’s schedule for this wedding. The venue was something more modern, which made me wonder whether it was Yakiv or Roslana who chose it.

I did my best to keep my nose to the grindstone, and churn out some productivity for the remainder of the day. The thought of seeing Christian after work tonight maintain the title of my only real motivation.

Christian

“Now that the Maverick’s deal is in, we should start looking into other investment offers. Tons have flown in after that launch.” Brad spoke, setting another Manila folder down on my desk. It almost disappeared amongst the pile of thick Manila envelopes he had tossed on the old mahogany wood slab, over the last hour.

I had stopped paying attention after the third envelope. Instead, I focused on the clock behind Brad, that was counting down the minutes until I’d get to see Alex again… alone.

This time, I agreed to come over to his apartment.

If he ever questioned my love for him, I’ll make note to remind him of this sacrifice. It was still challenging to swallow the fact that someone could prefer no butler to butler, but Alex was a man of many interesting preferences. Some would say, one of them being me.

“Are you even listening to me?” Brad asked. It was a question that brought on deja vu every time he uttered it. He knew I wasn’t listening, and at this point the question was just a formality.

“Something to do with new deals and shit, right?” I offered.

The look Brad was giving me was anything but pleasant.

“Why do I feel like a parent forcing a child to do his school work, some days?” He asked me.

All I could do was shrug. “Only some days?”

In my defense, I only listened to what Brad was saying about ten percent of the time before shit hit the fan. Usually my best listening skills came right after damage was assessed.

“You’re right.” He sighed. “Every day this company still manages to trudge along, is a miracle.” That last part was said more to himself than me. “I do need you to keep yourself focused, though. I know this wedding was a wild curve ball but that doesn’t mean productivity within Ivanov Corp can just seize to exist.”

I shifted my feet under my desk. Brad was making sense like he always did, but I was being too prideful to admit it.

“Or, to put it simply for you- no business equals no money. No money equals no company. No company equals you doing your own laundry. Are you fucking ready for that? “

That made my breath hitch. It was all the convincing I needed.

“So who are we looking into next?” I asked.

Brad gave me a look. “Christian, what the complete fuck did you think all these folders are? I need you, our fucking Chief Executive Officer , to look through these and decide.”

I frowned at his words. These were a lot of folders. This was a lot of reading.

“Why would you bring these to me now?” I meant to sound agitated, but my tone more or less resembled that of a five year old who has just been told he needed to clean up all his toys before bedtime.

I stole another glance at the time again. I had about ten more minutes of this torture.

It was almost as if Brad caught on, as his eyes followed my gaze to the large wall clock hanging behind him. “Oh I’m sorry, did I dip into your work time with work problems?”

My line of sight was everywhere but on Brad.

“It’s just-” my fingers went to the bridge of my nose. “I already put in so much fucking work this week and I haven’t had time to to see Alex privately yet and tomorrow is the first appointment for this unexplainable batshit wedding and I just- no. Just

no

. So lord forbid I rather skip out on these last ten minutes of the workday in hopes of maybe catching him in the parking garage elevators for a hastened kiss before we drive separately to his home.“ I inhaled sharply after getting that all out in one breath.

The look Brad was giving me said it all.

“It’s been a few days Christian. Days . You let Bridget go to Paris for weeks! Didn’t she stay in Europe for like a month total?”

The look I gave Brad was equally matched.

“You know Bridget could’ve taken up arms for military combat, or ran away to the circus, and I literally wouldn’t have noticed. Don’t insult my relationship with Alex by comparing it to mine with her.”

Brad sighed, crossing his legs neatly in the seat across from mine. “Then tell me again why you won’t marry this man?”

“It’s not that simple, Brad . You know that too.” I grumbled back. I wasn’t about to force Alex into something like that. I didn’t even know what his views on marriage were. There was a chance that I could be insulting him by even proposing it, depending on how seriously he took taking that oath.

Brad nodded slowly. “That’s true. That’s what words are for, Christian. We humans have discovered a way to communicate amongst each other- fascinating stuff, really. It does require some work though, and I know how actively you avoid doing that.” He replied with every ounce of sarcasm I had somewhat deserved.

My lack of communication with Alex had landed ourselves and our relationship in some unintentional, but preventable situations. Being honest with him was something I was working more and more at each day.

Yet the topic of marriage absolutely terrified even myself. I had no idea how to start a conversation like that with Alex.

“For now, we’ll see what Slav can do about getting me out of this. From the looks of what Alex had sent over, the wedding isn’t for another few weeks. Hopefully by then, Slav would’ve found something.” I replied to Brad.

It was essentially the same answer I was giving everyone. 

To wait and see.

••

16

Enjoy lovelies!

Also, I finally uploaded a new YouTube video on my takeaways from 2020. If you’re interested, the video is up above, and will be linked below as well as in my bio!

Alex

Christian still managed to get held up after work. It was only by fifteen to twenty minutes or so, putting his ETA for my place just a little after my own. When I heard his knock on my front door, it was hard to mask the smile that spread across my face.

I quickly switched the heat off on the ready kettle, and scrambled my way towards the entrance. I was met with an equally wide grin, as my eyes found Christians on the other side of that oak wood.

“Hi.” His grin widened.

“Hi.” I replied, sure of the fact that my cheeks were now turning a deep shade as I stepped aside to let him in. He was wearing the same thing I had seen him in throughout the day, but whatever room Christian walked into, his aura always demanded my attention.

“I was just making some tea. I know you like coffee though, so that should be ready-” I started, but Christian didn’t hesitate to interrupt me. He leant in quickly for a nice sweet kiss. That caught me off guard in all the best ways… but he had a knack for doing that.

“Tea would be lovely, thank you.” He replied. “If I am to cross over to this dark side, it might as well be with someone I trust.” There was a smirk playing at his lips as he pulled away. That’s when I saw him move to take a seat on what may have been his favorite spot on my futon.

It was the side farthest from the bookshelf, but it gave him the best view of the kitchen. 

I’d argue there were no good spots on my futon, but Christian was surprisingly great at masking any discomfort he may have been feeling. It still came as a surprise to me that he even agreed to come. I didn’t really care where we spent the evenings together, as long as we were together…

But I’d be lying if I said sleeping within the same vicinity as Mr. Whiskers didn’t bring me the most absolute comfort.

I was still trying to decide how to explain that weird attachment to Christian.

For now, it may have been best for him to not know his boyfriend slept with a stuffed animal. One named Mr. Whiskers, of all things. Regardless, I was taken back by Christian’s continuous adaptability. Anyone with eyes could see that he was just a tad bit too large for an apartment like mine, but he was still willing to tough it out for me.

I wasn’t sure how to explain a few other things as well… like the fact that while maybe I didn’t want to wake up in a home quite this small , it felt weird waking up in a home quite that big .

Obviously we’d be moving way way way too fucking soon to talk about something as absolutely insane as finding a place together, yet I couldn’t help but wonder what a compromise would look like between us. Christian was showing me tonight that he might be up for one.

“I wasn’t sure if you were hungry, or what you felt like eating.” I tried to explain to him, as I got to work on pulling two mugs from the cabinets.

“No worries, I’m not too hungry right now” Christin replied.

I watched as he slipped his suit jacket off, before neatly folding and setting it against the recliners arm rest. The one thing that made me go crazy for this man, was how neat and respectful he was of/with my place whenever he came. My home always felt embarrassingly more clean when he left it, than when he got here.

I set mango passion tea bags in the two mugs, then reached across to grab my ready kettle. Once that scorching hot water made contact with the leaves, a sweet aroma filled the kitchen. This was some of my favorite tea.

From what I could see through my peripheral vision, Christian had since situated himself on the couch. With his tie completely pulled from the scene, and a few buttons undone, his gaze felt all the more heated now.

I loved seeing him like this. Relaxed.

“Be very careful,” I told him seriously, setting both cups down on the coffee table. He reached over almost immediately, eager to try it. I took a seat on the other side of the futon as I watched on in anticipation.

He first gave the tea a few cooling blows before taking a sip. The first expression was a bit of a surprise, but he didn’t completely spit it out, so that must have been a good sign… right? After a few more cooling blows, he took another sip.

“What do you think?” I asked finally, unable to wait any longer.

“It’s… surprisingly not bad?” Christian sort of settled on. “It’s not coffee, that’s for sure , but it’s pleasantly sweet.”

Pleasantly sweet , I though to myself. I decided I’d take that.

“Thank you for giving it a try.” I replied. His eyes finally pulled away from his mug, to meet mine. There was a bit of a pause before he responded.

“I like that- trying new things with you.” Christian spoke hesitantly. “It feels like you take the initial anxiety and fears, off of everything.” I watched him take another sip. “I probably would’ve gone years hating tea because the only one I’ve tried is Earl Grey.” He added.

I almost visibly cringed at those words. I caught myself quickly, making sure he didn’t think that was how I felt about him trying new things with me. Oh no , that part had made my stomach flitter fucking flutter.

The cringe almost came with the sheer mention of Earl Grey. What a boring tea. There were too many flavors out there, to not find a tea someone could enjoy.

I wasn’t sure the same could’ve been said for coffee.

“I like that.” I replied a little quieter than intended. “I like that you feel that comfortable with me.” I hadn’t even been able to hold his gaze when I said that. My nerves has creeped up on me like an unknown distance relative looking for money during the holidays.

“Tell me some things about you.” Christian spoke out of the blue. “Tell me something that makes you uncomfortable.” I watched him set his mug back on the table, before turning to me.

I had pretty much fell into silence as I processed what he was asking. “Uncomfortable?” I asked finally. All he did was nod.

My eyesight had latched myself onto the painting I had hung up on the wall behind Christian. This was the only way I was going to get through this discussion tonight, with Christian looking at me like that.

Maybe that was just it- the way he was looking at me… that had to explain my sudden reasoning for being so open with him. This look had some sort of truth extracting abilities, I was sure of it.

“I-” I started, before catching myself. It was hard to think of a way to say something that had the least possible chance to offend someone. “While I absolutely love, and am beyond words grateful for the comfort you provide when I’m with you at your place… some mornings, it would be nice to wake up in a home with you. Just you.” I tried to explain.

Christian’s eyebrows furrowed. “Did Nathaniel do something that offended you?”

“Oh no!” I rushed out as quickly as I could. “That’s definitely not it, I promise you he is the absolute sweetest.”

I almost fucking slapped myself. How did I forget about how close Christian and Nathaniel were? Of course there must have been a shit ton of reasons Christian couldn’t just up and pluck his life out of that mansion.

“I-I’m so sorry, forgot I-”

“No.” Christian shook his head firmly, cutting me off. “We’re not doing that tonight, or any night from here on out. There’s no “ forget I- “ none of that. I want you to be honest with me Alex, as brutally honest as you were the first night we met. Tell me my laptop looks like it went through a goddamn woodchipper. Tell me how I can improve as both your boss, and your boyfriend. I don’t want you to ever feel like your feelings are muted, or invalid. Those suffocating actions are not conducive to a healthy relationship, and I’d rather take a bullet to a kneecap, than ever make you feel that way.”

I felt my fingers unintentionally loosen their grip on my tea mug. The hot liquid almost fell through my hands and into my lap, but I caught myself at the last possible moment. 

A mess of an accident was quickly averted…

…Next on the agenda was finding the courage to reply to something like that, without crying.

••

••

Thank you so much for reading, lovelies!

Like I mentioned above, I did finally get around to recording a new YouTube video:

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Link is also in my bio!

17

Enjoy, lovelies!

xoxo

Alex

Christian looked at me expectantly. I did one desperate search for words that would make the most sense.

“I guess I’m still sort of getting used to staying in a place that big. While I’m certain this apartment will undergo demolition in the next ten years from failure to meet city codes, I like the smaller evinorment. Being in a closer, more intimate setting with you. One where I don’t have to literally yell down the corridor, for my voice to reach you.” I did my best to explain.

Christian just listened. He was getting better and better at doing that these days. When I finally let out a shaky sigh, he gave me a nod.

“I’m sorry for that. I haven’t been the most fair with taking into account how my lifestyle has affected yours. You’ve been great, Alex, seriously. You’ve handled all of this so well, of course I wouldn’t mind finding middle ground.” Christian offered me a smile.

One that forced myself to set the mug down from fear of dropping it.

“I’ll spend every available second in this apartment if that’ll make you even the slightest bit happier.” He finished. A heart attack was very narrowly averted here, as I looked at anything but him.

“That won’t be necessary.” I mumbled that more to myself. “Maybe we could try and split up the time?” I offered.

“I’d like that.” Christian replied. “What else?”

I sort of stared at him blankly, before realizing he was asking me to bring up something else that made me uncomfortable. Without really thinking about it, I practically blurted out “This wedding.”

Christians easy smile was quick to fade away. Instead, he looked apologetic. I told myself I should’ve just kept it to myself, but Christian was right, it would do no one good if I wasn’t more honest with how I was feeling.

“I know, I’m- I’m truly sorry about that, Alex. I promise, it’s just a few more weeks of chaos then we can put this mess behind us.” He reached forward, pulling me closer so he could rest his hands on my thighs. Now it was absolutely impossible to look anywhere but at him.

“I know, I just- does she have to be that fucking pretty?” That last part sounded like I was whining, which I guess I was.

“I only have, and will ever have eyes for you. She sure will make some gal lucky though.” He nodded more to himself. I almost nodded in agreeance, but caught myself quickly.

“Gal?” I asked him.

Christian’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, gal. I told you she was gay right?”

Now I was really fucking lost. “No Christian , you didn’t once mention to me that the woman was gay.”

I watched as this man gave himself a moment to recall the conversation we had had earlier this week. It took him a moment before he eventually let out a sigh. “Fuck, you’re right. I was distracted by how good you looked in my office, that I failed to mention that. I think it was Brad that I remembered talking with about it. God, Alex, I’m such an idiot I’m sorry.”

The expressions that dances across my face were indistinguishable. I couldn’t tell whether I was over the moon excited, or ready to break Christian’s nose for failing to mention this vital ass piece of information.

I took one deep, deep breath.

Then I took an even deeper breath.

It’s fine.

We’re happy, Alex.

Don’t let this mans stupidity overshadow the reigning fact which is: that Roslana is gay .

“That would have been some real great information to have known earlier this week, Christian.” I chastised him. The look he gave me let me know it was a genuine mix up on his end. “But nevertheless, it does make me feel a bit better about the current situation.” I added.

That made Christian’s lips twitch up into a small smile.

But then my mind started to wander further. “I’m guessing Yakiv doesn’t know about that, does he?” I asked. Maybe he did, and he was still forcing Rosalana into this marriage. If that was the case, I’d be the first in the line up for kneeing that man in his dick.

Would I actually go through with it? God no. The man could end my existence with no effort whatsoever.

“I don’t think he does… but I was telling Brad that I also don’t think it would change much even if he did know. Hell, I’d venture so far as to say he may have married her off sooner, if he did. From what I know of Yakiv, he’s a very traditional man. Roslana won’t have that freedom of expression until he’s long gone.” Christian explained.

It was crazy to think that someone could restrict another’s right to love, and be loved.

Some people just didn’t get it. I was positive, however, that almost all had the capacity to. The very concept of love was something everyone understood to a degree. To deprive another of something that beautiful, should bring the fundamentals of ones morals into question.

Without even meeting Roslana, it made me feel for her more. Two people were being married off all willy-nilly like they were a sac of damn potatoes, by two psychos who had no business getting that drunk ever .

There must have been more to it, I thought. Something Yakiv wagered that Slav can’t let go of. While I do see Slav making this stupid of a deal, I didn’t see him going ahead and honoring it this quickly.

Christian’s previous words gave me the courage to ask more questions.

“Is there something else? Did Slav agree to something, if the agreement wasn’t honored? Usually there are clauses for that sort of thing, to keep someone from backing out.” I explained.

Christian sighed. “I’ll be paying him a visit this weekend to see. So far, both my parents have been more difficult to get ahold of, than usual. Slav sounds like he’s taken a nosedive off the deep end though, which further solidifies what you’re thinking- about there being more to this. My mother said she’ll be handing the documents over to Brad and I personally, to take a look. Whatever shit Yakiv has Slav tangled in will most likely be documented there.”

I could feel Christian’s hand slowly massage my lower thigh, as I sunk deep into the futon.

Knowing our luck, it would most likely be something major. Something we weren’t fully equipped to handle, just like everything else that’s happened.

“I know we haven’t really found much time to talk about it, but what’s going to happen with Vadik?” I asked him. Christian pulled me further into him, allowing me to rest my head on his lap. I knew it was time to throw out this futon, when I reached the sudden realization that Christian’s bony knees were more comfortable than the mattress.

“I wish I had an answer for you.” He replied honestly. “I wish I could tell you it was handled. That he was taken care of, and would never bother us again. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. I can’t tell you what going to happen from here. I don’t think it’s a matter of if he’ll make contact, I think it more or less a matter of when . To my understanding, he hasn’t reached out to anyone yet. The first person he’ll go to is Brad, and I’m hoping Brad will be honest with me when he does.”

Up until this point, I had let my eyelids slowly drift close… but those words shot them open again.

“Do you think Brad would lie about that?” I asked him. Christian shrugged from up above me.

“He wouldn’t do it with any ill intent in mind. Quite the opposite actually. Right now, there’s even more going on, and I know Brad. He’s a lot of things, but he can’t live with the thought of being a burden.”

That made my heart hurt. No one saw Brad as a burden… and him tackling something like this wasn’t something I was planning on letting him do alone.

It didn’t look like Christian was planning on it either.

••

Hi there Lovelies! First off omg thank you so much for having Fight Club surpass 400k reads, I logged on and pretty much died. Thank you thank you thank you!

If you haven’t checked out the book yet, I highly recommend it in between these uploads. It’s fully completed, and another boyxboy romance. The book can be found in my works through my profile or by simply searching up Fight Club.

The cover looks like so:

(New Cover!)

Also, yes I uploaded another YouTube Video (my reaction of the movie 17 Again with Zac Efron which would’ve been really suited for this 17th chapter) but it’s being held under copyright claims so now I’ll have to wait till that’s settled. I’ll try to get something else recorded in the meantime.

As always,

thank you

.

xoxo

18

Christian

“Alex…” I grumbled out into the dark abyss.

I heard the faintest of a moan come from him, as his attempt to acknowledge me.

There was that uncomfortable vibration again. It felt like it was right up against the side of my head.

“Alex?” I grumbled louder, giving his body a gentle squeeze as he squirmed against me. I felt his soft breathes fan my bare chest. “Alex…” I drew his name out even louder. The vibrations continued.

“Mwhat?” Alex mumbled, his lips brushing against my sensitive skin.

“Your fucking alarm is going off.”

I felt Alex sigh.

“Christian, mwy alarms on the bwedside table and makes all those loud fwucking sounds. That’s your cwell phone wringing.” I barely got half of that, but he ended the grumpy reply with a few soft kisses on my chest, and that made me forget what I was even talking about.

Then the vibrations returned seconds later, and I realized what had woken me up in the first place. I used the arm underneath the pillow to feel for the device. It took me a bit to find it, then I accidentally answered before I could check who was calling. Unfortunately, it was Brad.

“What the fuck.” I grumbled.

“Your hello’s are really just the highlight of my day.” Brad replied, sounding equally tired. That puzzled me.

“Jesus, Brad, it’s not even six in the morning.” A woman’a voice cut through the background of Brad’s line. I almost instantly recognized it as Joan.

“Sounds like you have company.” I replied.

“Don’t even start, Christian.” Brad snapped back in his best morning attitude.

“Why the fuck are you calling?” I asked.

“I’d love to know as well.” Alex muttered from beneath me.

“Mother just messaged me. She wants us to head over.” Brad replied.

“You’re fucking joking.” Both myself and Joan quipped at almost the exact same moment.

“Now would I be calling and waking everyone up if I was?” I knew that question was only challenging myself. Brad would never speak to Joan like that. I heard him give her a quick peck before he excused himself from the room. I tried to do the same, but Alex had tangled himself against me.

“I’ll be there in 40 minutes.” Was all I replied with, before I hung up.

“I’m guessing that was Brad?” Alex asked. His voice was still muffled.

“Yeah,” I replied, “I’ve got to head to my mothers. I’m sorry for waking you.” Glancing at the time, Joan was right. It was 5:47am.

“It’s okay.” He sighed, slowly detaching himself from me. “Will you be bwack?”

I allowed myself a second to think about that.

After this, it was work, then we had our first appointment. Roslana’s assistant had sent me the more personal details earlier this week, which got me even more excited about spending time with Alex.

I knew, regardless of any physical attraction between Roslana and I, Alex wasn’t going to be comfortable with this.

I wasn’t comfortable with this.

No one involved besides Yakiv was comfortable with this.

But I wanted to still make it as romantic as possible, especially now that I knew Roslana wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in this wedding. It also gave me more of an opportunity to not be surrounded with work 24/7.

Alex had been kind enough to redistribute some of my workload to other departments in hopes I wouldn’t fall too far behind. He didn’t know this yet, but I had no intentions of throwing myself back into work right away, and every intention of getting us back in Hawaii as soon as we possibly could. I wasn’t letting this trip be permanently cut short.

I had too much shit I still wanted to show off to Alex.

I had gotten so distracted by my own thoughts, I almost didn’t hear Alex mumble my name. “Christian? Will you be bwack this morning?”

“S-Sorry.” I mumbled. “I don’t think I’ll have time, but I’ll see you tonight.” I felt his head nod into my chest. I gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead before completely detaching myself.

It was the hardest thing- leaving his company in the mornings.

“Im about two to three more years away from switching numbers and moving countries. These people are insane.” Brad shot out from his spot on our mother’s living room couch. He was curled up in his pajamas, much like myself. I hadn’t bothered to change into my work clothes, deciding I’d just do that here.

I was still half asleep, to be honest. I barely remembered the drive here.

“Take me with you.” I begged. Brad chuckled.

“So you two really presented yourselves this morning in your nightwear.” Mother spoke, entering the room in her workout gear. Brad managed to sit up, but I just turned around on the couch to look up at her.

“It’s six in the morning. Spare us.” I mumbled back.

“You used to wake up earlier than this every morning. I thought we could do some yoga together, like we used to.”

“We were ten.” Brad muttered almost as soon as our mother finished that last sentence.

“And full of life.” I added. Mother frowned at that comment.

“Don’t speak that way, Christian. Even your father has volunteered to join us this morning.” She replied with a smile.

I knew almost instantly that the word volunteered was being used incorrectly here.

That was further solidified by the man who walked into this living room. For starters, he wasn’t my father.

Or at least, I refused to believe he was.

Slav’s hair was in the messiest of buns. He had switched into an athletic top, but his bottoms were still a grey pair of sweatpants. There was a dark stain near one of his pockets that looked like red wine. He had dark circles forming under his eyes from the obvious lack of sleep.

“Anna, you are the love of my life. The source of my existence. The motivation for my first breath each morning. Sun, the stars, and all that shit… but even I can say with complete certainty, that this is fucking insane.”

My mother gave my father a less than pleased, tight smile.

“Get up, come on. You’ll feel much better having this conversation while we stretch out our muscles. This’ll be good for your back as well, my love.” The optimistic sound of my mothers voice was nauseating, as she lead us into the fitness room.

Slav didn’t look anywhere near convinced either, but he set out his yoga mat with zero protest.

As soon as my body touched my mat, I immediately laid down. Brad got into a meditative position with the rest of the family, but I definitely didn’t have the energy for that. I saw my mothers mouth open in protest, but Slav shook his head. Everyone here knew that me being present was as good as it was going to get this morning.

“I wanted to talk to you two about the details of my agreement with Yakiv. As you can see, I haven’t taken lightly to this news.” Slav started, taking a deep breath in to start his breathing exercises.

I let out a chuckle before I could stop myself. The look Slav sent me was fucking deadly.

“There were a few additional things decided upon, in light this agreement.”

I already felt my heart drop to my stomach as soon as those words left his mouth. It was all I needed, to get my body into an upright position.

“Yakiv as of now owns a marginal minority shares of the research I’ve been working on. It was some of his work that accelerated our advancements in technology. When we signed this agreement, I agreed to have you marry his daughter. If this marriage is completed, Yakiv will forfeit his remaining shares, giving me complete control of future research endeavors.”

My eyebrows raised at that sudden revelation. While I didn’t know much about my fathers research, I knew that this sounded like a huge win in his book.

“Subsequently,” my father sighed, “If I, or you are to refuse this marriage, I would have to forfeit half my shares… putting the research work in Yakiv’s hands.”

••

19

Christian

The look I was giving Slav wasn’t respectful. I was sure of it.

“You… you agreed to what?” Brad was the first to speak up, beating me to the punch with asking such a pressing question.

“Listen- as you can tell by the state I am in, I’m not taking this lightly. I know I fucked up, I assure you I’m well aware… but there’s no way I plan on handing Christian’s hand over regardless of the consequences. You all must know that. Would I like to find some sort of loophole in this contract where I wouldn’t lose half my companies work to that insane man? Yes. Yes I would. I’m still working on figuring something out here.” Slave explained.

He brought his upper body forward to the floor, collapsing his chest onto his stretched out legs. Slav was surprisingly flexible for both his age, and the way he complained about almost every part of his body. Mother must of had him join her for yoga during his stay.

I had to admit, I found Slav’s words only somewhat comforting. While I didn’t fully believe he’d sell me away like that, I also had to remember that he technically already did.

“I know you’re pissed off. Justifiably so. Back then, I really truly did believe that you were well on your way to marrying Bernadette-”

“Bridget.” Brad clarified.

“Bridge.” I further clarified.

“Whatever.” My father sighed. “However drunk I was, I promise you I didn’t foresee this.”

Giving myself a moment to think, I listened to the deep breathes of each of my family members as they stretched their core. If I was being honest, everyone was probably to blame here. Slav was the most to blame because he was the one who made this bullshit agreement in the first place, but my mother also shared some blame, for making him think that I was ever going to marry Bridge…

And I held the remainder of the blame for even choosing to entertain someone like Bridge in the first place. I hadn’t done anything to assure these two that I was thinking of marrying her, but it wasn’t like I was actively working to break things off with Bridge either.

She had been one of my longer relationships, after all.

I heard Slav release another low exhale, pushing himself back into an upright sitting position. My mother and Brad collapsed themselves in the same way, pushing out a relaxed breath identical to the one Slav had.

I just sat Crisscross applesauce, waiting for my father to continue. All this namaste bullshit wasn’t going to distract me from my opportunity to get the most information out of Slav. Our last conversation left me with close to no direction on what to do next.

“You’ll be the first to know when I find out anything.” He assured me. “Of course, I’ll be sending Brad off with a copy of all documents as well, so both you boys can take a look.” He added.

Brad gave him a slight nod, but he didn’t alter his form as he pushed himself up onto his knees.

I was starting to think everyone was flexible in this family but me.

“So for now we just… wait?” I asked Slav, referring to the plan he had originally told me.

“I’ll do everything I can right up until the last possible moment. Even if you’ve got to say I don’t at the alter.” Slav replied.

“Yeah I’d very much like for it to not get there.” I shot back almost immediately.

I wanted this solved, preferably before Roslana could pick out flowers.

“This paperwork is extensive.” Brad commented, as he set the combined packets on my desk. The thick card stock paper added to the weight, creating a audible thud as it landed above my work.

“Have you found time to take a look yet?” I asked. The concept of time itself didn’t even make sense to me anymore. It could’ve been ten in the morning, or four in the afternoon right now and I wouldn’t have known.

I still wasn’t sure how Brad and I even managed to put work clothes on, after the morning we had. I debated just showing up in those footie pajamas and calling it a day. Who was going to challenge it, anyways?

Besides my parents, of course.

“No, unfortunately today has been one hell of a Friday. I figured I’d try to catch you in your office, before you jumped on another conference call.” Brad slowly lowered himself into the visitor chairs as he began to look over the first file.

“That sounds solid.” I nodded. So far today, I was forced to jump on five different conference calls. My office door hadn’t been opened until Brad walked through just moments ago. No one else dared to try and disturb me.

“I did try to keep an active mind, and do some brainstorming while I worked this other side project.”

There goes Brad, shooting for extra credit.

“I couldn’t think of anything worth investigating. Of course, there is the idea of Roslana calling off the wedding… but as you presumed, if she was in the position to, I’m sure she would have by now.”

I let out a depleted sigh, giving Brad a slight nod. “Yeah. Nothing’s looking good. I even thought about putting a hit out on Yakiv.” I joked.

When my eyes found Brad’s however, he didn’t look anywhere near amused. In fact, Brad’s expression suddenly got serious.

“Don’t joke about something like that.” He spoke low to me.

“I’m kidding, I swear.” My easy smile started to fade at his quick switch in moods. Over the year, I have said a lot of outlandish shit around Brad before, but he seemed genuinely serious right now. “What’s wrong?” I asked him.

Brad took a moment before he even entertained the thought of replying to me.

“I’ve just- I’ve been doing a little digging, that’s all.” He finally replied. I couldn’t mask the confusion.

“Digging on Yakiv?” I asked him. He gave me a slow nod.

“Nothing has raised any immediate red flags… but there was been some information that just seems off. Registered companies I haven’t been able to find much of any information on.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. Brad’s reading came to a final halt, as he glanced up at me.

“Well Slav’s mentioned him a lot, but I never knew just how much of the shares were in Yakiv’s name with this research work. When Slav said that Yakiv had spearheaded quite a bit of the funding, it sparked my curiosity.”

I felt my body settle out of work mode, as my full attention fell on my brother. Though he mentioned that these weren’t any red flags, his body language told a completely different story.

“While most of his wealth has been invested in shares, and multimedia projects, there’s a lot of well masked dead ends. A lot of figures that don’t seem to correlate with the work he’s been doing with Slav.” Brad continued.

I felt my eyebrows raise as I processed what he was telling me.

“You’re not seriously saying-”

“Regardless of the finance team Slav has, he’s always made his finances public to me. I’ve compared some of what was recorded in the last batch of retention, and I have to admit the figures look funny.” Brad was quick to reply. “I couldn’t tell why for the longest, and I still don’t exactly know how he’s concealing it so well..” he trailed off with that last part.

“So you’re saying- are you seriously saying that Yakiv may be what, like money laundering?”

The look Brad shot me was so sharp, I shut up almost immediately.

“All I’m saying, Christian, is that I don’t know this man as well as I thought I did. I’m not sure if Slav does either, which means it would be wise for us to move a little more quietly… and even wiser for us to never utter words like those outside these office walls again.”

••

Hi lovelies!

Here is the link to my New YouTube Video!

xoxo

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

20

Alex

I checked my GPS again for the third time that night.

This was where the address had taken me , I thought to myself. I had expected something completely different.

It was impossible to miss the loud music flooding onto the streets, from a place called Rouge. I had parked my car at a street parking meter, just a block down from the place. It was the only parking spot I could find.

I was about to check my GPS for the fourth time tonight, but something else caught my eye. More importantly, someone else. There was a black SUV parked a little ways ahead of me, that I now recognized as one of the companies. I watched two people exited from both sides of the vehicle.

The first person was Christian, I knew that almost instantly. The woman that left on the right side, had the same striking features as the woman I had seen earlier this week in Christian’s office.

Roslana , I thought to myself.

She was wearing a figure hugging sequenced black dress. One that almost immediately captivated even myself. Her long almost dirty blonde hair rested perfectly against her bare shoulders. The sharped winged eyeliner she was wearing that morning, was even more defined tonight. It’s made her light eyes look killer. As both Christian and Roslana turned to look at me through the dashboard window of my Prius, I felt my breathing hitch.

Jesus, this woman was beautiful.

“Alex!” Christian called, gesturing for me to come out and join them. I did my best to stop staring and move quickly, as I grabbed my phone, then keys out of the ignition.

Roslana had a warm smile on her face. It made me less nervous as I approached them, but seeing what she had on just had me feeling way underdressed. Christian, however, was still wearing the same perfectly pressed suit from work earlier today. In some unjust way, this man could wear anything and get away with it.

I looked like an underpaid intern in comparison to these perfect people.

“Hello, Alex. It’s wonderful to finally meet you.” Roslana’s smile widen as I took her hand into my own for a formal handshake. Her hand felt icy cold against my warm, clammy ones. “It seems some bands have already started. Are you okay if we go in right away?”

I almost didn’t register what she was asking. At first I was distracted by how beautiful that smile was… then I tried to run back what she had said, and realized she had an incredibly thick accent.

The last part sounded like she asked if we should go in. I just gave her a nod. “Yes, yeah, thank you.”

That must’ve done the trick because Roslana took the lead, holding open the door for all of us as we filled into a surprisingly packed venue.

I say packed, because I meant packed . I almost walked straight into the back of someone without paying attention. Christian caught my arm at the last moment, and pulled me back into him. “Careful.” He mouthed to me. I gave him a nod.

The music playing made the inside almost deafening.

Though most of the venue had dimmed lights, the lights emitted from the stage up front, shed some light on the crowd. There was a band up there performing. I couldn’t make out the name of their logo because of its positioning, but I was positive I’d never heard of either them, or the song they were playing before. It was an indie rock sort of vibe, that oddly went well with the place.

I noticed a bar on the far right of the building, but forced myself to look away. It felt weird being in a place like this without a drink in my hand. I felt more out of place, than I have in a while.

Did I even still know how to go out and have fun, without getting plastered?

I corrected myself almost immediately. This, like everything else, was technically still business. While I was over the fucking moon excited about spending time with Christian, I had to remember that it was both Christian and Roslana who I was catering towards this evening.

Professionalism, above all else, still had to be upheld. That word never failed to sound bizarre, when used to describe any practices from Ivanov Corp.

“Would you like something to drink?” I heard someone say into my right ear. I jumped, swiveling around instantly to come face to face to Roslana. Up until this moment, she had only ever come as close to an arms distance from me. Now that she was this near to me, I got an even better close up at perfection.

It was almost as if god took a ruler and mapped out the most proportioned features possible on someone…

She had this look to her, though. Something that made me a little uneasy. It was the same look Yakiv had, and at this point, I was ready to chalk it up to the icy eyes they both shared.

“I-I’m okay, thank you!” I rushed out quickly, but in a polite way. For a second, it looked like Roslana hadn’t heard me, but then she gave me another beautiful smile.

“No problem! I’m going to grab me a drink.” I barely even heard the last few words of that sentence, before Roslana disappeared into the crowd closer to the bar. I had gotten so distracted by Roslana, I forgot to keep an eye on where Christian had gone off to. It was a voice in my left ear this time, that startled the crap out of me.

“Here.” Christian spoke. I almost flung two drinks out of his hand from how quickly I had turned around. “Jumpy tonight.” He joked, passing a plastic cup my way. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Sorry! It’s okay.” I replied, taking the drink from Christian. My hand froze as soon as I glanced down at the brown liquid and registered what the fuck I was doing. “Oh Christian, I’m sorry I’m still not-”

“It’s just Coke… hold the Jack.” He replied. A grin started to play at his lips as that familiar line registered with me. I visibly cringed, looking away bashfully.

Up until this point, I had done pretty well to completely block the New York trip from my memory.

Well, not all of the New York trip … I thought to myself.

There was still a whole lot I definitely wanted to remember.

“Thank you.” I mumbled to him, but there was no way he heard me over the sound of the music. I barely heard myself over the sound of the music.

“Why don’t we try to find a spot further up? A place less crowded?” He asked me. I was starting to resort to reading lips in here. I just gave him a nod.

Christian’s free hand rested gently on my lower back as he guided me through the thick crowd, towards stair I hadn’t noticed before. I stopped us before we could start the steep decent up towards what looked like a more secluded second level.

“What about Roslana?” I asked Christian. Instead of replying, he pointed across the room towards the bar. Through the packed place, it was easy to spot Roslana. She was facing our way, but chatting up a woman who’s back was to us. All I could see was long dark hair, accompanied by a tight black dress. It wasn’t as flashy as Roslana’s, but even from the back, you could tell it was quite elegant.

I was squinting now, trying to get a clearer picture of the two from our position across the room, but Christian urged me forward.

“Let’s try to find a spot up there before the next band gets on. I’m going deaf down here.”

••

21

Decorate your block with red tape, foenem slidin’ every day

Bunch of hollows spittin’ out the glock

Iykyk 😂

xoxo

Alex

Once Christian and I made it to the top of the steps, we were almost immediately stopped dead in our tracks by a very large man. I wasn’t even sure where the hell he came from, but it felt like he was forged out of literal thin air.

For a second, I had one of those deja vu moments in a video game where my player would approach a computer character for a clue on their next quest.

Unfortunately, this man didn’t seem like he was here to bless Christian and I with potions, and extra lives.

“You two can’t be up here. It’s reserved seating only.” The man snarled our way.

From his overreaction, you’d think he was guarding a national treasure at the Louvre or something. Before I could try to step in, Christian stepped in between me and this man much… much… much taller than me.

At first I thought Christian was going to get aggressive, but instead, he reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He then proceeded to hand the man a couple hundred dollars. The security guy didn’t even bat an eyelash, he just pocket the cash, and stepped aside to let us through.

Christian slid his hand into mine, and lead me through the second level. I wanted to stop him and ask if this was really worth the money he just slipped that man, but then I remembered who I was talking to.

Christian was sorta right about this floor, after all. There was only a dozen people or so up here, most of who were smoking hookah and paying more attention to their phones, than the music. I let Christian find us a spot towards the corner of the upper level. It was a lounging place sort of secluded from the rest.

I gratefully took a seat on the plush black leather material, doing my best to keep from spilling the Coke. Christian was kind enough to set both our cups on the table behind him.

“God, I feel like I can finally fucking breathe.” He sighed heavily, when his eyes finally found mine again.

“It’s seriously crowded in here. I had no idea a place like this could get this packed.” I replied. “Speaking of which, what exactly are we doing here?”

Christian stretched his legs out in front of him, before shuffling closer to me.

“I think Roslana plans to book one of the bands from tonight. It looks like it’s some sort of band play-off thing? I don’t know. She tried to explain it on the way here, I think. I wasn’t paying much attention.” He replied.

The lighting from the ceiling lights were about as useless as the lights downstairs, but I didn’t need much to see Christian’s blue eyes clear as day. It was a sin, truly. Someone being this beautiful.

The thought of Christian and Roslana riding together and sharing conversation after work, still ruffled the feathers a bit.

She’s gay, Alex. I thought to myself. Shut the fuck up.

I hadn’t really expected a place like this tonight, but I reached a conclusion that I wasn’t mad at it. The next band had already taken to the stage, and they were also pretty good.

Roslana must have exquisite taste in music , I thought to myself as Christian pulled me closer to his side.

It felt good to lean into him like this, listening to music so loud it shook every level of this building. Music so loud, my ENT doctor will question my life decisions come ten years time. Music so loud I was positive they were trying to brand their lyrics into the eardrums of young adults.

I had my head rested on Christian’s shoulder with our fingers entangled in each other’s. He was gently drawing circles on my inner wrist with his thumb, causing the sensitive skin there to send tingles up my arm. His eyes had been closed for a while now, just soaking in the music.

“Do you know how many bands are performing today?” I asked Christian. As soon as the words left my lips, I realized how much of a lost cause that was. Christian must have zoned out the whole conversation with Roslana, like he usually did when he decided he was done listening.

As I suspected, he shook his head. “I don’t, I’m sorry. I’m sure she told me, too, and I just wasn’t paying attention. I’m guessing not many more, though. Roslana said she would let us know when she’s ready to go, so I don’t think she plans on staying late either way.” 

I gave him a nod, rubbing my cheek against his shoulder as I did so. The music started to gradually slow in tempo. To my surprise, a few people further down in this lounge area decided to get up and slow dance with their partners.

Christian had his eyes closed still, so I know he hadn’t noticed. I couldn’t tell if I wanted him to, either. On one hand, I wanted to dance with him. The little romantic bitch in me would literally just about die…

But on the other hand, I was blessed with two left feet and zero rhythm.

The little romantic bitch in me also didn’t want to sever this man’s toes.

It was a sweet melody, however. One that forced me to listen. I couldn’t tell what I loved so much about it, but the soft melody made the venue itself more quiet. No one was talking anymore. Everyone was listening.

“I know this may not be the place or time,” Christian started, “but would you care to dance?”

I felt my heart stop completely as I listened to every word that fell from his lips. His eyes were still closed, but finger had frozen against my wrist.

“I-” I started, cutting myself short when I realized I hadn’t even planned out a reply yet. That was when Christian’s eyes finally opened. He looked to me for a reply first, completely missing the couples behind us.

“I know it’s weird, but it’s pretty secluded as is, and this is too pretty a song not to dance to with you.” He insisted. I was going to protest, bringing to light the fact that I’m a horrendous dancer… but then I looked past him at the other couples again.

This time, Christian caught on. As he turned in the direction my gaze lingered, a large smile spread across his lips.

“Well, would ya look at that. I wasn’t the only one with this stellar idea.” That was when he stood to his feet with incredible speed, separating our interlocked fingers just for him to do a grand gesture. “May I have this dance?”

I felt my heart combust a gazillion times over. “Most certainly.” I replied with grace I definitely wasn’t feeling on the inside. He pulled me closer to him, giving us a better view of the band that was playing below the balcony, from the first level.

“Don’t worry, I won’t start doing any extra shit with you.” He grinned. “We’ll keep it pretty basic here.” I felt one of Christian’s hands place itself on my waist. His other hand still had mine in his. He gestured for me to place both my hands on his shoulders so he could hold me properly. I did so, focusing hard to keep from failing this.

I felt Christian start to sway us. Like he promised, it wasn’t anything crazy. It was on tempo, and actually pretty easy to follow. I only threw us off course a handful of times, but he was quick to save it before we both went down.

The hands he rested on my waist, held me securely in front of him. When he shifted even closer to me, it was impossible to stop myself from leaning my head on his chest.

I could hear his heartbeat now through the soft button down material. I wasn’t sure what material this was, but it felt incredible against my skin. He was still wearing his suit jacket, yet the buttons had been undone for most of the night, making me feel even more secure against him when the side flaps came up on both sides of me.

Christian’s hands moved from my waist, to embrace me. He held me tight. All I felt was warmth, as the sweet melody faded…

Then I felt a vibration from Christian’s pocket, reminding me of the work I was still very much here to do.

My assumptions were correct as well, judging by the face Christian gave me after he read the message.

“I’m sorry, love. Looks like our night out has come to an end.”

••

22

Thank you so so much for all the support on these recent chapters. You guys are too fucking sweet, oh my gosh. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

Enjoy, lovelies

xoxo

Christian

Roslana seemed to be in good spirits as we all exited the venue together. The driver that had dropped both Roslana and I off earlier, had waited patiently for for us to be finished. Alex said his goodbyes to Roslana and I, maintaining every bit of professionalism as he always did with his work.

That couldn’t help but make me smile. He really was one of the last few professional things about Ivanov Corp.

Alex started to make his way to his car, but slowed to a stop when he realized I was following him. “I- uh,” he started, turning towards me. “I thought you were going to accompany Roslana back to the office?”

I shook my head on his direction. “Nah. I told the driver to take her home. I much rather ride out the rest of this evening with you.”

Alex’s face went red from my response almost immediately. I hadn’t really planned on spending the night with him. I actually still had all the paperwork Brad had told me to sift through, still on my desk…

But all that didn’t really matter right now.

I had had a wonderful night with my boyfriend, and I wasn’t ready for that to end so soon.

“Would it be okay if I stopped by my place for a few essentials before we go?” He asked me, as he unlocked the door to his oddly shaped car.

Alex promised me this car was supposed to be efficient… but the only thing I’d argue that it did efficiently , was be small. That wasn’t even a dig at Alex’s finances, I just felt like a giant in comparison to it.

My eyebrows furrowed at his question. “I thought you were going home tonight?” I asked him.

“Well… I was going to, before…” Alex drifted off.

“Then let’s go home .”

“Alex, the speed limit is fifty-five here.” I reminded this old man who had decided to take us to his place at the slowest speeds possible.

“Christian, I’m going fifty.” He shot back, only breaking his eyes away from the road for a fraction of a second to give me an icy glare.

“Exactly!” I replied, “And it’s fifty-five here.”

“I’m starting to think you don’t know what the word limit means.” He grumbled to himself, but the sly grin I shot him forced him to mask a growing smile. We were close to his home anyways, but you couldn’t fault me for wanting to be snuggled in warmth with him ASAP.

Once we made it to his elevator, I didn’t even wait to get inside, before pulling him in for a kiss. He was soft against me… so temptingly soft… but I pulled away slightly before I could let myself get carried away.

“You were amazing tonight.” I whispered against his lips. That brought on another smile.

“It was nothing, really.” He replied, but I didn’t let him expand on that thought.

“This whole situation is way bigger than nothing . I want you to know I appreciate it. I appreciate you.” I replied. Before I was allowed to expand on that thought, the sound of the elevator reaching the main lobby interrupted me.

I took a step back, placing my hand on the sensor to keep the door open as Alex walked through first. I followed in after him.

“I promise,” he started, “you make me feel appreciated. You make me feel more than appreciated. I’m also not the only one experiencing this, am I? There’s you and Roslana who also have the right to feel some way about this.”

I offered him another smile. “I can tell you with complete certainty Alex, if you surprisingly had to marry someone else, they’d be missing already. I’d say you’re pretty justified for feeling some type of way about this.”

That made Alex break eye contact with me. His face had started to get red again, and it made me want to kiss it silly.

I was only half joking, if I was being honest. The way my anger issues were set up, I most definitely wouldn’t be taking this as well. Regardless, I chastised myself for even having Alex worry about me in the first place.

Was this situation fucked? For sure.

Would I have rather spent this time loving up on Alex, and helping Brad with Vadik? For

damn

sure.

But dwelling on what I wanted to do, wasn’t going to get shit figured… therefore, I decided to put more energy into solving the mess, than basking in the messiness of it all.

Alex slipped his hand into mine, as he lead me towards the familiar apartment. It was a bit chilly inside, but the atmosphere made cuddling all the more appropriate. I watched him set his things down, and slip off his shoes. As soon as all hands were free, I wrapped my arms around him and unexpectedly picked him up.

The noise he made was honestly hilarious. It was a surprised yelp, but he didn’t protest. Instead, he wrapped his legs around my waist.

“Hi.” I smiled at him, eye level with those gorgeous brown irises.

“Hi.” He grinned, creating this familiar smile lines I liked to trace with my fingers. He closed the distance for a brief peck.

Fuck, I really couldn’t get enough of him.

I carried Alex towards his bedroom, eager to have him cuddled against me. As I pushed the door back to have us enter, that was when I noticed there was something else occupying his bed.

“Who’s this little guy?” I smiled past Alex, as I set him down gently. He turned around to see what I was looking at, but once his vision caught on, his demeanor changed immediately.

Alex had gotten to his stuffed teddy bear so quickly, I almost thought this man flew.

“I-I- t-this is, it’s just a dumb present I got a while back. Stupid, really.” He rushed out. I saw him reach over to try and shove the teddy bear in one of his nightstand drawers, but my hand caught his before he could push it in the free space.

“Hey, woah, slow down.” I spoke gently. Alex’s hands had started to shake as he gripped the animals torso tight.

How he had set the teddy bear neatly on his bed, made me feel like it was more than just an object. The way he reacted, however, only confirmed it.

“There nothing stupid about owning stuffed animals. The only stupid thing you could possibly do is be embarrassed for something that holds sentimental value to you, regardless of what it is. May I?” I asked, gesturing towards the soft bear.

Alex was silent, as he slowly handed it to me.

It really was cute, actually. The bear was a light brown in color, which medium length fur that felt aged but soft. The teddy had a seam on the right arm, that looked like he had been patched back together. “Does he or she have a name?” I asked.

Alex’s mouth opened to respond, but he caught himself at the last moment. I could tell he was battling with whether to tell me the truth.

“Mr. Whiskers.” He spoke finally. That made me smile.

Mr. Whiskers , I thought to myself. I made sure to be careful as I set the teddy back on the bed, where Alex had snatched it from.

“While I’ve vowed to never share a bed with anyone else but you… I am willing to make an exception for one exceptional Mr. Whiskers over here.” I told this gorgeous man. I’d sleep with a mountain of Mr. Whiskers, if that brought Alex happiness.

Alex was still startlingly silent, but instead of saying anything, he leant across the bed and kissed me.

It wasn’t a soft peck, or the lust filled kisses we’d shared on this bed many times before. This time, it was a long sweet kiss. One that made me tangle my hands in his hair as I brought him even closer to me. He just felt so good.

Alex was the one to pull away this time, but there was a smile playing on those world altering lips. “Thank you.” He spoke finally.

“There’s no need to thank me.” I replied. “But I would love to hear the story of how Mr. Whiskers came to be, if you feel comfortable telling it.” That was when Alex started to shy away. “Do you talk to him about me?” I asked.

The question made Alex pause, yet he felt bold enough to eventually give me a small nod.

“See, then I must know more. It would be too unfair for him to know all this about me, while I know nothing about him.”

That made Alex smile again.

“It’s really not that interesting.” He insisted.

“I’d beg to differ.” I replied. “Anything that has captivated even the smallest bit of your interest, will always interest me.”

••

23

Good morning (potentially), Lovelies! Woke up feeling good, so it might be another day of uploads.

Enjoy!

xoxo

Alex

“Well, Mr. Whiskers was a present from my father.” I told Christian honestly. I hadn’t lied though, there really wasn’t much more to the story than that.

His eyes softened as he looked down at me, yet he said nothing. I could tell he was waiting patiently for me to continue. I wanted to look away but Christian had me cuddled against him. He was massaging the nape of my neck, holding me in place, just inches away from his perfect face.

It would have taken almost nothing to reach up and kiss him, but Christian was insistent on me telling this story.

“It’s really just one of the last few things I have from him.” I continued. “The name was his idea. It doesn’t make much sense, but my father took one look at him and said he looks like a Mr. Whiskers. I guess it sorta stuck.”

That made Christian smile. A smile so wholesome, it reminded me of how truly amazing this man was. “I think Mr. Whiskers is perfect. Your father sounds like he was a man with exquisite taste.”

Those words created a knot in my throat. I did my best to hold back the tears that were now threatening to fall.

“That he was.” I nodded. “I think he would’ve liked you.”

While I couldn’t of known that for sure, there was something about Christian- an unmistakable charm, that almost solidified his praise in anyone’s heart. My father valued a family man, who got things done for the ones he loved. While my dad wasn’t the most progressive in terms of relationships or relationship roles, from what I remembered, his love for me trumped everything else.

I could feel my eyes start to sting again, when I thought about it. There was just so much I wished he was still around to see.

Those memories were ones I tried not to dwell on too often. Speaking to Christian about it now was different, though. It wasn’t like all the other times those memories flooded in.

I couldn’t tell what had changed.

Maybe this time, I was able to think back on this memory, without having those painful memories of my mother surface too. Without thinking of that quick decent into hell she did, after she lost the last influential grounding energy in her life.

Maybe this time, I got to think of the love my father gave, instead of the pain he left in his wake.

Christian spent the night just holding me.

While I had started the night wanting to be intimate with him in other ways, this level of intimacy was different. Without being dramatic, I’d have to say that the night we shared together was more intimate than any physical touch could do.

His fingers had gently massaged my scalp as he allowed my silent tears to soak into his shirt. I tried to mumble an apology every once in a while as that pain hit in waves, but Christian wasn’t having that. He just pressed my face further into his chest, in an attempt to silence those muffled sorry’s .

He asked me about everything. Quite literally. Things that brought on happiness. Things that brought on sadness.

It wasn’t like I had been avoiding talking to Christian about my father, it just hurt to continuously realize how little I had to say.

I would’ve given anything to have just another moment with him.

Another memory. Beautiful or ugly.

I was clutching on so desperately to the remaining few I still had. The remaining few I still remembered.

Christian told me a few memories of his own. It made me realize that I needed to start asking him deeper questions, myself. At some point, he admitted to having a doll collection. At first I was practically speechless… but then Christian elaborated on the fact that they were Russian dolls- the ones that held a smaller replica inside its bigger counterpart.

That, like every other little fun fact about Christian, just made me love him more.

And it was the little things. It was always the little things with him. It showed me that he cared, even when neither of us had control over the bigger things.

And that was the making of a solid relationship, wasn’t it? Showing someone that regardless of what was thrown your way, you were willing to try .

It was a action I was all too familiar with doing, but never receiving, in return.

It was Christian’s soft touch that eventually coaxed me to sleep. I couldn’t remember when that was, or even when we got home from the event, but it didn’t really matter. None of it did. Just being here with him reminded me to live in this present moment, as opposed to entertaining others that have already come to pass.

I awoke the next morning to a note instead of him. This was more than expected, considering he never actually made plans to come over last night. I couldn’t possibly imagine the work he had put off for me.

Just the thought made my heart feel unspeakable things. That was Christian, though. I couldn’t think of a single time during the span of our friendship (if you’d call it that) and relationship, where he chose work over me. It made me question whether I had truly done enough to make him feel appreciated, the same way he always went out of his way to make me feel.

And I was really starting to home in on that word- always .

The note was cute. I could tell he was half asleep when he wrote it. Some words looked half assed, but I got the gist.

Good Morning Baby,

Sorry I’m leaving like this again. I promise I’ll try to stay longer next time. Last night was… well I’m excited to physically show you what I thought about last night. You looked far too peaceful to wake up with my horny problems this morning.

Anyways, it’s officially the weekend now and we don’t have any plans till next week, so go do the things you need to do… or nothing at all too- that’s perfectly acceptable. Today looks a little busy for me, but I’ll try to stop by Sunday before the new work week.

Use this time for rejuvenation.

Breakfast is on the way.

The last sentence there made my stomach do that little flutter shit, but I couldn’t tell if it was from happiness or hunger. Probably both.

I set the note back on my nightstand. I’d probably end up saving it in one of my journals, where I put all the other sweet notes Christian had left me. I even had the one from our trip to New York.

Nevertheless, Christian was right. The weeks ahead we’re going to be wild. This weekend should be spent caring for myself, and after the night I had with Christian, there was something I now felt more comfortable doing.

Something I hadn’t come around to doing yet, for the singular reason of not knowing what the fuck to say. There was a lot to be said, but no matter how much shit I brainstormed and wrote down, I knew I’d come up short when she answered the phone. When I finally heard her voice.

But I picked up my cell on the night stand, and dialed the memorized number anyways.

That’s how much I had pondered over this phone call. I had the number to the facility memorized, yet I hadn’t once dialed it before today.

“Thank you for calling the Regional Treatment Facility, how may I assist you today?” A voice chirped into the line. I almost hung up right then and there, but I forced myself to continue on.

“Good morning.” I replied in a one significantly less chirpy, but still polite voice. “I was calling in, in hopes of being connected to my mother. She’s a patient there. Vanessa Hamilton.”

••

24

Not me crying like a lil bitch while writing this.

Enjoy!

xoxo

Alex

“Hello?”

I held the phone pressed tight against my ear, unable to make a sound.

“Alex? Is that you?”

I recognized the voice. It had just been some time since I’d heard it sound like that. So… lively? That may not have been the word, but I could always tell when my mum was using by the sound of her voice.

This was different.

It sounded like she had just picked up the telephone, fifteen years ago.

“Mum?” I finally spoke into the line.

“Hi.” She replied. I wasn’t sure how, but I could feel her smile through the line. I felt my heart feel something it hadn’t felt in a really long time. The familiar stinging sensation returned to my eyes. “It’s me, Alex. It’s me.”

“Hi.” I croaked out shakily. “H-How are you?”

There was a pause before she replied. “I’m good.” I heard her chuckle faintly. “It’s been a really long time since I’ve been able to tell you that with any shred of honesty. Still feels kinda new, I guess.”

My eyes were burning now, as the tears built. It was taking everything I had in me to maintain a steady voice. I took one more shaky breath before attempting a reply.

“T-That’s good. That’s really really good-” I had to cute myself short again. Hearing my mother right now was surreal. “I-I’m so sorry I haven’t come to see you- I- I haven’t called, I just-”

“Shhh, Alex it’s okay. It’s okay, baby. Don’t you start apologizing for something like that.” She said firmly. “I wasn’t expecting a call, nor was I planning to call until I had something to show for myself. You didn’t need to see-” I heard her cut herself short. “You didn’t deserve to see me during the early phases here.”

I didn’t think there were words that existed, to explain the pain I felt right now. The tears that started to roll down the side of my face, did what they could to encompass it.

I had seen my mother go through a bit of withdrawal whenever she didn’t have the money for drugs, and the havoc it wreaked on her… on her personality… I was grateful she had spared me this time.

“I-” I started, searching for the words to say. Nothing I wrote down came to mind anymore. “I’m sorry you went through that alone.” I settled on.

“I didn’t.” She replied. “I definitely didn’t. This facility has treatment unlike anything I thought could possibly be offered. I’ve never seen such an engaging rehabilitation program. The first few nights were-” I heard my mothers voice break for the first time on this call. It sent more streams of tears down down my dampened cheeks. “They were hard.”

It was the painful chuckle that cut a hole straight through my heart.

“I um- I had nightmares. Lots of night terrors. The nurses here would stay with me. All day. Sometimes all night. Some would read to me, while others told me stories or little tidbits about their families. I was never alone, though. Christian made sure of that. He’s been very involved.”

I held my hand over the microphone, as I sniffled. I almost missed the last sentence my mother said. “He has?” I asked her, bringing my voice back to the line.

“Yes. He’s followed all my progress reports. He phones in every few days, to see how I’m doing. It was difficult at first, with my withdrawal phases. You know how horrible I can get. Christian never once hung up on me though, regardless of the absolutely vile things I hurled his way.”

That made me feel everything, all at once.

“He didn’t tell me that.” I whispered.

“I’m sure he had his reasons. He told me you’d reach out when you were ready, and I don’t think he wanted to influence that in any way. I understood why he kept tabs though, I snuck a look at just what some of these services cost, and Jesus fucking Christ it’s insane. I already told Christian I’ll work until it’s all paid back.”

“I could help with some payments.” I offered. There was no was in fucking hell, my mother could afford to repay that. She couldn’t even afford a place at the moment.

“No.” My mother said firmly. “It’s been so long, I’m not sure I know the true meaning of the word dignity anymore… but don’t rob me of the last few shreds I’ve got left.” I tried to wipe away the tears that poured now. “I’ve taken enough from you, wouldn’t you say?”

“I-” I started, but stopped. I didn’t know why to say anymore.

“Enough about all that depressing shit, though. These phone calls have limited time. Let’s talk about this Christian fella, because you are all he talks about these days. If it was anyone else, I would’ve stopped taking his calls weeks ago… but I like hearing little updates on you. How was Hawaii?”

That made me smile big. Really fucking big.

“It was… perfect.” I settled on.

“I can hear you smiling.” She replied. That just made my smile double in size. “I promise he didn’t force me to say this, but you got yourself someone special here. Underneath that harder shell, is one big ass heart. Maybe I got to see more of his best sides, considering I’m your mother, but his care is genuine. And if I’m being honest, he’s shown me the extent he’s willing to go to, to protect your peace.”

I was convinced I couldn’t smile any harder now. Sure of it, actually.

“He really is something.” I agreed. Everything being said was leaving me practically speechless.

“Do you love him?” My mother asked me. Without even pausing, I said yes.

And the same way she could feel my smile, I could feel hers. “I’m happy.” She replied. “That makes me so happy.” There was a pause before she continued. “I’m so happy you’re happy- truly happy. I could sit here over the line and tell you I’m sorry, but the painful reality is I wasn’t even cognitive for half the shit I’d need to apologize for, and an apology would be an insult to what your really deserve… A good mother. So instead of you putting faith in my words, I’m determined to give you actions to put faith into instead.”

My mother took a breath.

“That why I have decided to lengthen my stay here. It won’t all be inpatient, some of it will be outpatient rehabilitation as well. I’m working on finding some straight and narrow jobs. Christian has offered to point me in the right direction, but he’s made it clear he won’t intervene past then.

“I won’t have the money to do this whole treatment twice, so I’m going to do everything I can in here to prepare me for out there. What do you think baby? I know it’s longer than originally anticipated but-”

“It’s possibly one of the best things you have ever said to me.” I replied, just letting those tears free fall at this point.

••

25

Hello there, lovelies! So like first ahhh thank you so much for all the positive responses in the last chapter (I swear I say this every time, but I got a lil soft spot in my heart for the situation with Alex and his Mum lol). I couldn’t be more happy that y’all loved it so much.

Deadass, thank you… and enjoy!

xoxo

Christian

“So, you and Joan.” I wiggled my eyes at Brad. “You two have gotten quite cozy, I see… or rather heard. What a phone call that was , a few days ago.”

Brad’s hand recoiled. Instead of using the utensil in his hand to toss the salad he was making, he threw the spoon at me. It flew with speeds I wasn’t ready for, causing the metal object to nick my arm as I tried and failed to dodge it.

“Can you shut the hell up? She’s in the shower right now, and I don’t want her to hear you.” He aggressive whispered.

I gave him one devilish grin. “Don’t worry, I’ll probably be out of your hair soon here, anyways. I was just stopping by to say hello, before running a few errands. Nathaniel wanted to replace some stuff around the kitchen, and I’ve honestly been neglecting a few household items myself.”

Technically, I would put this task in the hands of my assistant. Seeing as my assistant was now my boyfriend, it felt a little weird having him replace my body wash and toothpaste.

“I was thinking of stopping by Mum and Dads as well. It’s not that I want to, but I suppose checking for signs of life with Slav is the least I could do. Have you done any further research with what we discussed earlier?” I asked Brad. That question came out much quieter than the rest of my words. If Brad was pushing for discreetness, it was probably best to honor it.

I watched, as he started to slice the tomatoes. Cooking, for him, was an art skill if anything. It felt quite meditative watching him prepare a meal. Brad never rushed himself, or the process.

“I’ve… reached a bit of a wall… but I’ll figure it out.” He replied, using the same low tone. “For now, let’s still keep it between us. Like I said, right now we’re very ill-informed. I’m not going to accuse anyone of anything until I’m certain.”

Brad used the knife to gently nudge the tomato slices into the bowl of mixed lettuce. He started chopping up the cucumber next.

I gave him a nod, and although he hadn’t looked up from the task at hand, I knew he saw it.

It was safe to say that I didn’t have the slightest idea what the fuck I was doing in this damn Target.

“Nathaniel, you said that you already ordered this shit right?” I barked into the phone.

Before Nathaniel could sigh, I felt it coming on. “Christian,” he released an irritated breath. “For the fourth time, yes. You need to go to the customer service section at the front of the store, to pick up the order. Where are you now? You’re not still at the customer service section for the women’s undergarments, are you?”

I glanced around, checking out the dish sets, and small appliances stacked neatly around me.

“No I’m pretty sure this is some kind of kitchen area. I’m standing in a line here, looking at someone who keeps asking me for items to scan. I’m trying to tell this idiot-” I glanced up at the kid across from me to read his name tag, “fucking Jake here , that I already had the items paid for.”

There was another sigh from Nathaniel.

“Okay, so you’re in the checkout lane. You’re going to need to get out of the checkout lane, and head to the customer service area. It’s right by the Starbucks-”

“Why the hell does there even need to be a Starbucks in here? As if this place isn’t already the blueprint for Satan’s playground. I’ve gotten lost like ten fucking times.”

“And to think I was going to send you to Walmart.” Nathaniel whispered more to himself. “You need to get in the customer service lane, and present your identification along with the order number I sent you.”

“ Fine .“ I sighed, ending the call abruptly. As my eyes found Jake’s again, I already knew what the fuck he was going to ask me.

“Do you have any items for me to sca-”

“Put a fucking sock in it.” I snapped, snatching my ID off the counter before making my way to what felt like my hundredth customer service desk.

I refused to admit how long errands took, but by the time I pulled into my parents estate, the sun had set. What really tripped me up about this shopping experience, was the list Nathaniel usually gave my assistants. I had no idea all the products I used came from like a gazillion different stores.

Towards the end there, I caved on my enamel sensitive toothpaste, and got Colgate.

I didn’t have the fucking time.

“We were expecting you two hours ago.” My mother welcomed me, as she answered the door. It was peculiar, I’ll admit. My mother very seldom let me in herself.

“I got… sidetracked.” I settled on, allowing my mother to lead me further into her home. Most of the lights were dimmed, besides the lights in the living room. I half expected to see Slav on the couch where I saw him last, with wine stained sweatpants and an aura of pity… but the only thing on that couch was a book. “Where’s Slav?” I asked my mother.

“He’s in his study.” She replied, taking a seat on the couch. She proceeded to grab the glass of wine off the new marbled coffee table, and crack the very book that had caught my eye, wide open.

That was my cue to leave.

I made my way down the endless corridors of my parents home, before I found Slav’s office. I almost didn’t recognize the man sitting in his chair, which was hilarious because he looked like the Slav I’ve always known. Somehow, the sweatpants were what stuck in my memory, saving over the image I previously had of him.

“Looks like you cleaned yourself up.” I commented, stepping inside.

“Watch it.” My father warned, but the look I gave him said it all.

“Not what I’d expect from someone who just gave their sons hand in marriage away like it was a day old burrito.” I replied. My father and I had entered a bit of a standoff as we looked at each other. He eventually broke eye contact, signally for me to take a seat.

“Did you come here to stress me further?” He asked.

“As happy as that would make me feel… No. I didn’t.”

Slav seemed less than impressed with that response, but I couldn’t give less of a shit. Now that he was done looking pitiful, I was done pitying him.

“I came here for a few reasons, one of which was to make sure you were still breathing.” Clearly, judging by his crisp suit, slicked back hair, and attended to eyes… he was definitely back to his regular appearance. “I also came to speak to you about something else, something we probably should’ve talked about years ago. Maybe it was my own pride that kept me from truly laying out an argument…” I drifted off with that last part.

“What is it, Christian?” Slav asked.

“I wanted to talk about Brad’s current position with Ivanov Corp, and the possibility of upgrading it.”

••

26

Not me posting a chapter at 3am.

Not me at all…

Enjoy!

xoxo

Christian

My father hesitated a moment, disregarding the work on his desk completely now. It made me second guess myself, and this entire conversation, before it had even started yet.

“Christian… we’ve talked about this before-”

“I know.” I interject. “I know we have, but I’m not trying to offload the company on my more responsible brother this time.” I tried to explain.

It wasn’t the best argument, considering I technically

was trying to offload the company on my more responsible brother… but I’d argue that offload wasn’t the right term here. It was more like splitting the work, except Brad pretty much did everything as is.

Slav set most of his folders on his back credenza, before turning around to face me again. Business papers being cleared always let me know that Slav and I were going to have a conversation… or I was about to get lectured for the next half hour.

“That’s not the point, Christian.” He reiterated. “You know how much I love Brad. I want nothing more than to give him a part of what your mother and I built…. but it’s not that simple.” I could see that softness in Slav’s eyes.

The look he usually reserved for Brad.

When I was younger, I grew to despise that look. I was too young to understand it’s origins.

Slav almost always sided with Brad when we were kids. At the time, all I felt was disapproval on both sides. My mother and father weren’t by any means easy to live with… but Slav was always harder on me. I guess that’s why I thought that my mothers harshness for Brad was just what evened the playing scale… 

But now, I was older. Now I knew more. Now I knew better.

“You’ve been harder on me before I even took my first breath.” I told Slav. “And I accepted that shit. I took that shit and I swallowed it. I shrank every want I had, until it fit your image for this company. I switched my major when you asked me to. I fell out of love when it suited your best interests. I did it all because I understood what sacrifices you and Mum made to get us here. Through all of that, Slav, through all of that… I can say with complete and certain honesty that Brad has sacrificed more.”

There was a pause before Slav replied.

He was pondering something, but he didn’t give many clues as to what. When he spoke again, I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

“Christian…” those same soft eyes. “I wish there was more I could do. Your mother and I made this decision for everyone’s best interest. Though you might not understand it, I have to ask that you respect it.”

I understood why my parents made that choice. If I was in their position, I probably would’ve done the same thing. “But there is something you could do.” I replied with a quickness. “You could always pass your role onto Brad.”

That made Slav freeze completely.

“You’re talking about passing over my COO position.”

The way he said it, did a fantastic job of making me feel even more ridiculous for asking.

“Christian, I demoted myself for a reason. If anything were to happen with this company-”

“It hasn’t.” I interrupted him again. I could tell he was growing irritated with me for doing that. “And it won’t. Appointing Brad COO practically guarantees that. Up until this point, we’ve managed. You’ve got to have some faith that we’ll continue to. Plus, this would give you the opportunity to actually retire from the company, like you’ve been saying you’ve done for years now.”

This evening, I had my fathers undivided attention. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t make me squirm in this very seat… but I forced myself on. This conversation was past the point of overdue.

It was the dullness of his eyes, though, that had a way of seeing past your soul. Tonight, it was intense.

“When was the last time you conducted business for the company? I can’t recall you sitting in for a single meeting since you demoted yourself, and promoted me. Giving this position to someone who’s already been associated with the company in the public eye, wouldn’t raise nearly as much suspicion as you think. You’re not appointing him CEO, but you’re giving him the recognition he deserves with a COO title. You’re also giving Brad his rightful seat at the Ivanov table.”

At this point, I wasn’t sure if I pushed Slav’s buttons just enough… or too much. We were somewhere on the scale between agreeing with me, and violence.

It was the sigh- the little breath he released, that let me know I would live to see another day.

“This better not be some ploy to spend more time with Alex, Christian. Your duties-”

“Come first. Yes, you love to fucking remind me. In all honesty though, Slav? That’s not the case anymore. My duties no longer come before Alex… just like my duties don’t come before this family either. I told you I’d work for this company Slav, not fucking die for it.” I snapped back. Alex and I were too far into this relationship to even try to lie about it anymore.

What I didn’t expect, was the softness Slav lead with, after processing my words. I thought that that feisty paragraph warranted at least some scolding, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, he smiled.

“Though I’m not overjoyed by what you said, I understand it. I don’t show or tell you it often Christian, but I am proud of you. You got this position partially because you are my son, but mainly because you were ready. I could’ve just as easily stayed, yet I chose you as my successor.

“I’ve seen more leadership from you in the almost month I’ve been here, than every previous year combined. I’ve seen you make choices- hard choices. Selfless choices . Choices even I’m not sure I would’ve been able to make with such speeds and care. If being with Alex for moments, changed you in such a profound way, I can’t imagine what spending more time with him will do.”

I hung onto every word from my father, speechless.

“In terms of Brad…” He released a breath. This one was shakier than the last. “You always did go to war for him. It was never just a battle. Always full on war.”

“What can I say. You and mother taught me to go all in with everything.” I replied without thinking, but it made Slav crack a grin. That calmed my nerves a bit.

“The love you two have for each other, makes me envious at times. It’s a rare thing, being that close to your siblings. Having such a devotion, you’d be willing to risk everything for their happiness.”

I felt my heart lighten with his words.

Slav had never talked to me about any of this before. I didn’t think he had any fatherly conversations left in him, to be honest.

“I never meant to deprive you of happiness, Christian. I guess my parenting along the way didn’t do much to support that claim, did it?”

My eyes had brought on a burning sensation. I hadn’t felt it in so long, I almost didn’t process the fact that tears were beginning to well up.

“If transferring my position to Brad is what’s going to bring you happiness, Christian. True happiness … then I have no problem with doing exactly that.”

••

27

Alex

“Are you sure this is something I can tag along for?” Joan asked, glancing over at me from her spot in the passenger seat.

“Of course.” I pulled my eyes away from the road for just a fraction of a second, to give her an assuring nod. “I’m sure Roslana won’t mind, and Christian thought you might like to check out the bakery with us. It’s super hard to get any appointments with Tart of Hearts as is, so it should be an experience. I swear, we all made pies once, and now Christian thinks you’re in love with sweets.”

From what I knew, Joan enjoyed them. I wasn’t sure if she saw cake tasting as a fun time, but I was positive this beat riding out the last two hours in the office.

“He’s been working on trying to get to know you and Derek more too, so I’m sure this is his idea of bonding.” Though the direction was lacking, I thought it was cute he wanted to put in the effort. Especially after our Hawaii trip didn’t go as planned, I thought Christian wouldn’t want to see these two for months.

When he messaged me about Joan, I asked if he was sure about me telling her. Up until this point, I hadn’t spoken with anyone about the arranged wedding, besides Christian. He gave me the go ahead however, but made me swear I’d do my best to keep Derek out of it. I tried to explain that Derek could swear to secrecy, but Christian wasn’t convinced. Hell, not even I was convinced.

It was safe to say that Joan took the news about as well as I did. First she had a few outbursts…

“A fucking

wedding

, Alex?! To who? Oh my god, I’m going to kill him. I might have to come for Slav’s jugular. I might have to come for this insane families jugular. Shit, I’m coming for everyone involved. Even Yak- whatever the fuck his name was. What in the backwards ass shit is this?“

It felt good, having someone else validate my own feelings. Up until this point, I knew my feelings were valid, but it felt like I was sorta trudging through them alone. Way different when you had a bad bitch to assist in disliking another person for no other reason, than the fact that they’re gorgeous and marrying your soulmate.

Joan then took it a step further. “I mean, what if she just… disappeared?”

After being slightly terrified by what Joan was suggesting, I realized it would probably be best to explain how Roslana couldn’t possibly be interested in Christian… or men for that matter. With each twist I revealed to Joan, it sent her further spiraling.

“This is some next level Days of our Lives shit, Alex. On god.”

That part had cracked me the fuck up, cause where was the lie? It seriously felt like I entered a soap opera.

Christian also explained that he’d be kind of busy with some work stuff while there, and he didn’t want to force me into being alone with Roslana for the remainder of the meetings. Although I was willing to work with her while Christian took some calls, I had to admit that having Joan there would be easier.

Joan made everything easier.

It did make me wonder what it was recently, that demanded more of Christian’s time. Obviously it was something important, because it wasn’t on any of his schedules. He told me he would try to talk to me about it this afternoon, so I guess I was just going to have to wait and see.

Joan chuckled from the passenger seat, as I took the next exit off the highway. “Of course Christian does. At least he’s been getting my name right as of late. Looks like I’m moving on up.” She full on laughed before this last part. “Next, he might surprise us all by knowing what department I work for.”

That made me unexpectedly chuckle. It was just a little too accurate. “I’d say you’re making good steady advancements with both the Ivanov’s.” I countered, sending her one suggestive look. Joan rolled her eyes my way, but the smile that graced her lips let me know she was just as excited about her relationship with Brad. “He’s been taking good care of you, right?” I asked.

“Absolutely.” She replied with ease. “I really like spending time with him. We haven’t really had much opportunities to see each other, unfortunately.”

“You could say that again.” I mumbled more to myself.

It seemed like both the Ivanov brothers had extra obligations going on. My assumptions were that it was still tied to this wedding, and figuring out how to stop it…

…Which was definitely a cause I cared deeply about. A cause I could one hundred percent get behind. Maybe that’s why I told myself to exercise some patience.

Nevertheless, Joan’s confession brought another smile to my lips. “Your happiness has always been, and will always be a priority for me.” I told my bestest of friends.

“Shut it. Don’t you dare start getting me emotional when we haven’t even reached this place yet. I don’t have the time nor patience to reapply these damn eyelashes.” She replied, just making my smile widen.

When Joan and I finally reached our destination, I was surprised by how vacant the company’s lot was. In fact, besides two cars parked around the side of the building, the only other car there was an Ivanov company vehicle. It was parked closer to the front.

“Looks like Christian and Roslana made it.” Joan commented, noticing the vehicle herself. “It’s a ghost town here, though. I expected the place to be packed.”

“I’m sure Yakiv has something to do with it.” I replied, following Joan. I made sure to lock my Prius up before we made it to the building. We passed by our company car, noticing the driver sitting inside alone. I assumed he was going to be waiting patiently until Christian and Roslana were done, just like at the music venue last week.

Once we did make it through those first few doors, Joan and I were stopped by someone at the entrance. It was the sweet sweet smell of vanilla that took over all my other senses.

“Good evening! If you two are looking for services, we are currently closed for this evening. We are catering to a high profile client at the moment, that has asked for privacy. I do sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused, and promise that we will be returning to regular business hours starting tomorrow.”

The man spoke in a chirpy but slightly robotic voice, like this had been the fiftieth time he had had to say all that with a smile on his lips. He seemed young, maybe mid twenties… but the light blonde hair could’ve been deceiving. In contrast to his darker eyebrows, it made it look like he had bleached it.

“Oh, we’re actually here to meet two people for dessert tasting. Christian Ivanov, and Roslana Petruso.” I explained. That finally got some sort of human response out of the guy.

“Oh yes! The two love birds let me know that we were expecting additional guests. This is very exciting, is this a double wedding?” He asked, gesturing between Joan and I.

The guy had just given me like thirty reasons to want to punch him in the dick right now… but I forced a smile.

“No no, just some friends here to support friends.” I lied. Technically it was a boyfriend and his best friend here to support his boyfriend who was getting married to a woman who is also gay and really looking for a wife, but I wasn’t trying to give this kid a stroke at the prime age of like 23.

“Sounds exciting!” He replied with just a little less enthusiasm. Looks like he was really hoping for a double wedding here. “Well if you two don’t mind following me, I’ll show you were we’ve got your gorgeous friends settled.”

That gorgeous friends comment added fuel to the flames.

I wish this front desk clerk knew the thinness of the ice, in which he was standing on.

••

Bernie is a whole shmood. We must do right to protec our bean, Mr. Bern Bern, at all costs.

28

Ugh lovelies

As I write out the final ten or so chapters, it’s made me realize just how sad I am to see this story end…

But as always, ya girls got some stuff coming for y’all after this, and I have literally never been more excited about the story I’m starting.

I mean this

deadass

, I think I’m more hyped than when I started Fight Club. This particular story could be my best piece yet, although I’ll let y’all be the judge of that;)

Thank you so much for making it this far, and for trusting my writing with so many books.

I love you guys.

Deadass.

xoxo

Alex

As soon as I locked eyes with Christian, a smile broke across his lips.

He and Roslana had been seated at this gorgeously lit table, with a few pieces of cake placed in front of them. It didn’t look like Christian had started any tasting yet, but Roslana had. She was about to bring another piece of the red velvet cake to her lips, before she noticed us.

“Hi.” She gave me a small wave, setting the fork down. When her eyes landed on Joan, I saw those light eyebrows furrowed just a bit. I was first to speak up.

“I hope you don’t mind that I brought an extra hand today. She’s an employee for Ivanov Corp, and also a really good friend of mine.” I explained to Roslana. “This is Joan. Joan,” I turned to my very nervous looking friend, “this is Roslana.”

Joan was pretty much doing exactly what I had done the first time I saw Roslana, and every time since then.

She stared. She stared hard .

Roslana stood abruptly, startling pretty much everyone as she walked towards us. She looked every bit as perfect as my memory loved to remind me. Today, she was in a black turtleneck top which was an exact contrast to her light hair. She paired it with some black leather pants that hugged every toned muscle she had. I definitely wasn’t straight, but even I was swooning.

The fit was very edgy. It added to the already cold aura she gave off. I didn’t know the slightest thing about this woman, but her presence forced me to be intrigued.

We watched as Roslana extended a hand to Joan. Joan hadn’t moved, or really even breathed since she laid eyes on this woman… but she managed to pull it somewhat together. When they’re hands connected, instead of shaking Joan’s, Roslana brought it up to her lips to place a soft kiss there.

“It is my pleasure to meet you, Joan.”

With the way Roslana said those words, I could literally feel Joan’s knees growing weak.

“I-I-I- y-yes, me- you too.” Joan fumbled through whatever that sentence was supposed to be. Roslana held Joan’s hand in her own for just a little longer, before finally letting go.

“Please, do join. Christian has been busy, so it would be good to get second perspective.” Her accent just added to that evident beauty.

Christian did look busy. In fact, he looked really fucking busy. As we took a seat, I noticed a notepad next to him filled with his hasty chicken scratch handwriting I loathed so much, to struggle through everyday. Before I could think of something to continue the conversation, Christian beat me to it.

“Alex, is it okay if I speak to you for a moment?”

The way he said it, didn’t give me any immediate red flags… but I’d be an idiot not to be worried. This man has proven time and time again, that literally anything could come out of his mouth.

“Sure thing.” I nodded, standing with Christian to leave the table we just sat down at. When I made eye contact with Joan however, she looked like a complete nervous wreck. I sent her a tight smile, murmuring “ make pleasant conversation ,“ for her ears only, before following Christian out.

He lead us down the hallway towards another room located in the front of the bakery building. It was more of a lounge area for guests who were  maybe waiting for their friends or family. Of course, right now it was completely empty.

Hard to believe one man had the power to do something like close out a bakery for the evening, but then I remembered who these people were.

I went to take a seat on one of the couches, yet it was Christian who pulled me into him before I could. When his lips touched mine, I instantly melted. Every kiss we shared, made the previous one feel like ages ago.

He pulled away even more quickly, causing me to believe I may have just imagined that.

“I know I’m not supposed to touch you like that, especially here … but I had to.” He whispered, gesturing for me to take a seat. My lips still tingled from where he touched me, reminding me of what I’d been missing. “But I will make time this week, I promise. I wanted to talk to you about why I’ve been suddenly so busy.”

I noticed Christian had a smile still playing at his lips. It helped some in calming the intensity of my heart rate, as I gave him a nod and waited patiently for him to continue.

“I met with Slav this past weekend. It was part of the reason I wasn’t able to see you Sunday.” He explained. “We spoke about transferring Slav’s position at Ivanov Corp, to Brad.”

My eyes grew wide… but then my brows furrowed. “Wait, like the whole company?”

“No no,” Christian shook his head quickly, “I know Slav’s actual involvement in this company is a real gray area. Though he’s retired all active work with the company, he’s still our COO. Does it exactly make sense? Yes and no. It was my fathers fail safe in case I truly ran the company into the ground, and he had to step in. The position still gives him control over our business relations, if the situation arose where he had to do damage control.

“The position would be an easier one for Brad to fill, without raising any suspicions. In all honesty, only some of our investors still know he’s COO, and even less still care. Slav’s established all of them as friends, before colleagues anyways. He’s a phone call away if there was to be any issues between our relations. Another reason Brad deserves this, is because he’s basically our COO as is already. He deserves everything that comes with the official title.”

I was momentarily stunned into silence, listening to Christian.

“T-That- that’s fucking amazing.” I tried to get out when I finally could.

Who even was this man? I was starting to think this world didn’t really deserve a man like Christian.

“There are two other reasons I was so determined to make this work.” He admitted. “With Brad as an official COO of the company, I can now send him in to do the bidding for Ivanov Corp. What this means is that damn near every future partnership we pursue, will practically be guaranteed. I mean, it is Brad we’re talking about here . If you thought this man was brilliant now, you outta see him in a courtroom.”

That news was possibly the best news I had heard, since speaking with my mother. That news was definitely the best news Ivanov Corp could have received as a company. The smile that graced my face, felt like one that never wanted to leave.

“The last reason I decided to fight so hard for this, was because of the free time that would leave me. Brad would now officially be able to sit in on his own for calls and meetings. I could then spend that free time doing the things that make me happy, such as being with you.” He finished.

If it wasn’t for the place we were at now, I would have literally thrown myself at him.

I definitely didn’t deserve a man like this. This smile was never leaving.

“I- I can’t show you how I feel right now, but I will.” I most

definitely

would, when we found some alone time. The craving for intimacy with him again was just sky rocketing at this point.

That comment made Christian’s easy demeanor change in an instant. When his eyes darkened, it forced me to look away. It was either that, or the staff here would find out very quickly that this marriage wasn’t what it looked like.

“Speaking of free time… I finally found some, to give my mother a call.” I admitted. Christian’s eyes softened again.

His playful smirk had transitioned to a smile, that made my insides do all the things. “I’m really glad to hear that, Alex. How did it go?”

“Well,” my smile unintentionally widened, “she told me about you checking in… You never told me you did that.”

It was Christian’s turn to break eye contact. “I- I didn’t think that it was my place. I’d already intervened in the most catastrophic of ways, and did so much that hurt you. I mean, I hurt you deeply , Alex. Something I never want to do again. I wanted to give you time and space you deserved, to heal from the pain I unintentionally inflicted.”

I could feel that stinging sensation again. The sensation I would’ve been tired of feeling at this point, if it wasn’t for all the happiness that accompanied it recently.

“My only obligation was keeping your mother alive long enough for you decide if or when you wanted to see her.” Christian finished.

••

29

After a great, well deserved break… I’m back bitches.

Go crazy, go stupid

Enjoy lovelies!

xoxo

Alex

Christian spent the rest of the time in the lounge, taking calls.

Now that I knew why, I couldn’t stop smiling.

“It’s a slice of chocolate cake Alex, not a million dollars.” Joan was quick to whisper to me when she caught my ten billionth smile. “You’re giving off serial killer vibes.”

I tried so wipe the smile from my face, but it was close to impossible.

“I can’t decide.” Roslana sighed, as she pushed two different slices my way. One slice looked like vanilla flavor, while the other was chocolate. I brought a piece of the vanilla to my lips first. “I was thinking the vanilla one, maybe? I’m not the biggest fan of chocolate.” Roslana added.

As the light fluffy cake practically melted in my mouth, I gave Roslana a nod. The vanilla was really really good- not too sweet, but rather a beautiful balance of richness. I could understand why Roslana liked it.

Then I brought a piece of the chocolate to my lips, and I watched as life itself ceased to exist.

This cake was fucking incredible.

So incredible, I audibly moaned as the chocolate melted away. Roslana let out a chuckle. “That good? I wish I could appreciate it more.”

I wasn’t even sure how to describe it to her. It was bolder than the vanilla, that’s for damn sure. Sweeter as well, but in every perfect way possible. The chocolate was creamy. It left a smooth taste as I swallowed, then went in for a second bite.

Was it a cake for the mass, though? Probably not. Vanilla was the safer choice.

Christian

I spent the day going back and forth with company advisors and Slav, working on transferring everything over to Brad. It was irritating, not getting to relax and enjoy some cake with Alex… but from the looks of it, he and Joan were getting along well with Roslana.

I could tell almost immediately that she had taken a liking to Joan.

Joan just looked a bit nervous. I couldn’t tell if any type of attraction was attached to those feelings, but Roslana was gorgeous. Even Alex looked nervous around her. She definitely wasn’t going to have any issues finding a suitable wife… I just wondered if she knew that Joan wasn’t on the market.

I thought about Brad, and how hilarious it was going to be when he realized Roslana’s interest.

Speaking of Brad, I also spent most of the day pondering when the best time was, to tell him about the promotion. I wanted to do it in person, so a phone call was out of the question. I also wanted to tell him before Slav did- especially considering I was the one who had to go to bat for this. I wanted to see that smile.

It was difficult keeping my mouth shut when he gave me a call during the cake tasting. He was just calling in to update me on Yakiv, but his updates weren’t the most promising.

“I still haven’t acquired everything I need.” He sighed over the line.

“The wedding is scheduled for next week.” I reminded him. There was another heavy sigh that followed. “I mean, worse case scenario is that we get married, then divorced right? I mean, I’d prefer to do this marriage thing once, and with someone I love… but we’re very quickly running out of options here.”

He released yet another sigh. It sounded like he was gearing up to say more, but paused. “Shit, I’ll give you a call back Christian. Looks like I’m getting a call.” That was the last thing I heard before the line went dead.

We spent more time at the bakery than I anticipated we would. The staff didn’t seem to mind, which only lead me to question how much Yakiv paid these people. In addition to having the entire place to ourselves, there wasn’t a price tag on anything.

Roslana seemed to be taking all this lightly. I’m sure she was used to her father splurging by now. Brad’s comment about him, still remained in the back of my head.

Money laundering , I thought.

Slav was ridiculously negligent at times… but he was also a surprisingly good judge of character. Hell, he served with the guy. Would Yakiv really use Slav’s research company like that? Or rather, was it possible that Slav already knew?

I wasn’t calling my father a criminal or anything, but it was safe to say he had the ability to turn a blind eye when he wanted.

I thought about visiting him. Brad mentioned not to bring it up, but maybe Slav could at least tell me a bit more about the guy? Especially now that Slav had finally pulled himself together.

So that was what I did. When we left the bakery, I said my goodbyes to Joan and Roslana. I also told Alex that I would be coming over after visiting Slav. I wanted to make it up to him, considering I had missed seeing him Sunday.

I also wanted him in every way possible.

His face lit up at my words. The urge to bend down and capture those soft lips with my own was intense, but Roslana was there waiting patiently in the work vehicle.

Alex took Joan back to work so she could get her vehicle and head home. I had the company driver drop me off at the office so I could get my own car, then I headed to my mothers. Roslana had the driver drop her off after.

We didn’t speak much to each other during the drive. I was mostly putting together electronic documents that I’d eventually have Brad sign. Roslana didn’t seem to mind, however. She surprisingly looked pretty busy herself. I wasn’t sure if her phone was on do not disturb or something, because it didn’t sound like it went off once at the bakery… but man did it start blowing the fuck up once we got into the company vehicle.

I didn’t understand a whole lot of the conversations she was having. Everything was in Ukrainian… which also didn’t help because the language in general sounded aggressive. I couldn’t tell if she was pissed, or carrying on a casual conversation.

This was definitely a moment where I wished I paid closer attention to Slav when he was trying to teach me, growing up. My mother used more Russian with us, and when Slav took up his research work, we barely saw him enough to retain what he did teach us.

It was the thought of being with Alex tonight, that really put some pep in my step. I zoomed down the long stretches of road towards the mother. The sun was setting now, pushing the day into slow steady darkness.

For a moment, I questioned whether I should’ve called first, but then I remembered my mother’s irritation with me being late just a few days ago. One thing my mother hated most in the world, was probably waiting.

As soon as you’ve done something as disrespectful as wasting her time, you became nothing more than a mustard seed in comparison to worthiness for her.

This time around, I thought we’d just wing it. Giving her an ETA would’ve only made things worse.

There was a familiar face waiting for me, as I pulled into the entrance of my mothers estate. A face I oddly enough, hadn’t really seen much since Slav’s return. “Steve!” A grin spread across my lips instantly, as I closed the drivers door behind me.

“Good evening sir!” My mother’s valet replied with a smile. “What a pleasant surprise. Madam hadn’t informed me that she was expecting you.”

“Yeah, I didn’t call in. Thought I’d just stop by real quick.” I explained. Concerned was possibly the best way to describe the look Steve was giving me. “Plus, I’m her son. It’s not like I need to make an appointment to see this woman.”

That concern never left. It was only amplified.

“You may have wanted to tonight, sir. Master Slav is away on errands and the Madam is- well, she’s a little sensitive tonight.”

My eyebrows furrowed at Steve’s words. “Sensitive?” I asked. He slowly nodded his head my way.

“Maybe it would be best for you to see for yourself.” I watched him step aside, granting me access to the front door.

For a moment, I debated getting back into my vehicle and going to Alex’s. I wasn’t trying to deal with any emotional turmoil tonight…

But my duties as a son, was what carried my feet forward.

••

30

Christian

“Christian?” My mother spoke from her spot on the couch. I hadn’t even remembered to say anything- I was too distracted by her appearance.

She wasn’t in anything as unbelievable as sweatpants, but she was wearing far more relaxed clothes than what I was used to seeing her in.

“Hi Mum.” I gave her an awkward smile. There was two bottles of wine on the table, both empty. Clearly she was having a night.

“Was I expecting you?” She asked. I shook my head.

“I was actually hoping to see Slav, but Steve let me know he was out tonight.” I tried to explain. My mother reached for one of the bottles, but when she realized it was empty, she set it back on the table.

I then watched as she drunkenly propelled herself off the couch. The liquor must have hit all at once cause she almost fell forward into the coffee table as soon as she stood. I was able to catch her at the last second. “You’ve definitely had a bit to drink, though. We should get you to bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed.” She wined. “Your asshole of a father is working, when he should be spending time with me. Do you know how long I tolerated those sweatpants for? Just for him to toss them in the trash, put on a suit, and walk out of here. We barely speak with each other anymore, I don’t even feel him next to me in bed. Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had s-”

“I rather stab my own ears, than find out.” I was quick to cut her off with.

This wasn’t what a signed up for tonight.

My mother surprisingly felt like a fucking sumo wrestler, as she casually put all her weight on me. I pretty much carried her to her bedroom.

“I just want to know when it ends? When will he truly retire?” She pressed on, as I pulled the linen sheets back. She collapsed onto the mattress before I could finish getting it ready.

I didn’t want to be the one to tell her this tonight, nor while she was in this state… but I was completely convinced Slav would have to die before he retires. Tonight, what my mother needed to hear was a whole lie.

“I’m positive Slav will hang up the towel soon. From the looks of things, retirement could be on the horizon anyways, if he has to forfeit his shares.” That last part wasn’t exactly a lie… but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Slav was definitely going to find something else.

A workaholic always did.

Regardless, my words made my mother smile. She had managed to push herself under the covers, but when I stood to leave, I felt her hand reach out to stop me. “Would you mind staying a moment? Just until I fall asleep.” She asked me.

For a moment, I thought about saying no. I didn’t want to keep Alex waiting long…

… but my mothers voice was already slurring. She’d be asleep soon, and maybe I’d be able to get a little more information about Yakiv in the meantime. She seemed to be in a very open state at the moment.

“Just until you fall asleep.” I confirmed, taking a seat back on the edge of the bed. She let her hand fall from mine. Instead, she used it to fluff up a few pillows. I could see some of her eyeliner rubbing off onto the white pillowcase, and I debated telling her, but she was so far past the point of caring.

I think we both were.

“And if I’m staying a bit, I’ve got a few questions of my own.” I told her. My mother nodded against the pillow, smudging her eyeliner further into the case. She was going to be pissed with herself and the fucked up satin, come morning. “What can you tell me about Yakiv?”

My mother was silent a moment, not bothering to open her eyes. I almost thought she fell asleep, but that would’ve been too quick.

“Not much, honestly.” She mumbled into the pillow. “He and your father served together, I know that. When your father and I tried to find Brad after the orphanage burnt down, Yakiv offered us some resources. He and your father kept tabs on each other, carving time to visit every few years. When Slav decided to start the research work, Yakiv was able to assist. We were doing great financially, with Ivanov Corp taking off… but Slav didn’t have the time to fully devote himself to the work.

“At that time, he was busy raising you to take over the company. When you and Brad left for college, he wanted to jump into his research, but that was a real tender moment for me. Both my babies were leaving home… I couldn’t handle Slav being gone as well.”

I felt some pain in my heart for my mother. It was selfish of me to never take into account the periods of loneliness she must have endured. It hurt more to think of all Slav really did, to care for her. Hell, my ungrateful ass couldn’t even manage a meal with her on Sundays, like he asked.

“He chose to stay here for me, which was hard for him. I knew how passionate he was about his work, but he still made that decision. I don’t know if I have the heart to ask that of him again…” she trailed off.

I rested my hand gently on her head, pushing away a few strands of her dark brown hair that had fallen onto her face. There was beautiful, then there was my mother. I’d been her son for all these years, and it still took me by surprise.

“Maybe I’m being selfish. I’m so used to me being the center of attention when he visits. It feels like this trip in particular was cut short weeks ago. Now, he’s back to work again, and that loneliness has returned. It’s almost like he’s left me again…”

She had dropped the volume of her voice so low, I strained my ears to listen. Sleep must have been on the horizon now.

“Slav worships the ground you walk on.” I spoke to her. “If you tell him how you feel, I know he’ll understand. He’s been gone for years- that can’t be easy on either of you. Missing the man you love is not weakness.”

There was a moment of silence. Her eyes were still closed, and although I expected her to say something, she never did. Her breathing was slow and relaxed now. It looks like sleep had won.

I stood slowly, pushing myself off the mattress before I pulled the rest of the blanket up. She looked peaceful, resting this way. I wondered if she had heard what I said. Even if she had, I doubted she’d remember this conversation in the morning.

Two bottles of wine was plenty for a blackout.

On my way out, I ran into Steve again.

“How is she?” He asked. His concern made me smile. I understood why he was here now. My mother was lonely. Even though Slav was here, this mansion felt empty again.

“She’s okay. She’s rested now.” I assured him. “If she- if she gets like this again, will you please give me a call?”

That made the corners of Steve’s lips twitch up into a smile, as he gave me a nod. “Yes, of course sir.”

The drive to Alex’s felt long. Although any drive from my parents place, seemed to. I tried to hurry, shooting Alex a text to let him know I’d be heading over. He had already tucked himself into bed, but he said he set a spare key on the door frame for me- just in case he fell asleep before I got there.

I was grateful for his consideration.

My mother had sort of thwarted my plans, but I was determined to be in bed with Alex tonight.

••

31

Christian

I could walk the halls of Alex’s apartment blind, if I needed to. This place had become a second home.

I found the spare key above the frame, and went to unlock the door… but that’s when I heard the door to the apartment behind me open.

“Oh!” A woman exclaimed as I turned around. She had scared the shit out of me. “My apologies, dear. I was just getting some food out for my sweet Darla here, when I heard you approach. Oh, you’re that lovely young man from a few months ago! Ah I knew I had recognized you, but I haven’t gotten a good look at you since that night- oh gosh you must not even know which night I’m talking about. It was the night you and that fine young man shared a kiss- Oh bless Alex, what a sweetheart that man is.”

The older woman spoke so quickly, she got about halfway through her monologue before I realized it was, in fact, in english.

“I-” I started, unsure of how to respond to all that. I decided that kindness was probably a good start. “It’s very nice to meet you.” I settled on. “My name’s Christian.” I was about to offer my hand for her to shake, but I suddenly realized she had a cat in her arms. The dark grey coat of the kitty blended so well with her knitted sweater, I literally hadn’t noticed until now.

The woman mentioned something about a Darla, I think? Maybe this was Darla?

“Oh my goodness, you’re just so lovely! Oh my, what a wonderful thing this is- Alex must be so smitten.” She continued to ramble. Still wasn’t really processing much of what she was saying, but it sounded sweet enough. “Let me not keep you, I’m sure Alex must be waiting. You two have one beautiful evening!” She chirped, giving me a half a wave. It was all she could muster, while juggling a cat in her arms.

“You too-” I started, but her door was shut before I was even able to finish that sentence.

“ Odd .“ I whispered to myself, as I turned back around to unlock Alex’s door. “ Very odd .“

It was dark inside the apartment. I did my best to remain quiet, slipping my shoes off before making it to his bedroom. I couldn’t wait to fall asleep with him in my arms. I was pretty hyped about maybe getting a little handsy tonight, but after the evening I just had with my mother, All I wanted was comfort.

Alex was exactly that for me.

He was under the covers now, surely sleeping. I tried not to wake him as I started to strip out of my work clothes. For a second, I regretted not grabbing some spare clothes from my mothers, but I didn’t mind a little skin tonight.

It was only when I physically climbed into bed, that Alex stirred awake. “You made it.” He mumbled. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his torso, bringing his back flush against me.

“I did.” I whispered, kissing the exposed skin on his neck. I could feel him shudder, and it caused my body to heat up.

“Did it go well with Slav?” He asked me.

“It was… interesting . I’ll tell you all about it in the morning. I’ll also have to tell you about the cat lady I met tonight, too.”

I could hear the faintest chuckle fall past Alex’s lips. “Mrs. Penelope. She’s a character. Was she just saying hi?” He asked.

“I think she was welcoming me to the neighborhood.” I replied.

Alex

Waking up to an empty bed the next morning was expected.

It still sucked, though.

It reminded me of the fact that we had a whole work week to get through.

We were now down to one last appointment this coming week. I was grateful that Roslana chose to do the dress shopping on her own because seeing her in something that gorgeous, probably would’ve sent me over the edge.

I was the most excited about this appointment in particular. It was the floral shop I had done extensive research on a few weeks ago. The appointment was scheduled for Thursday evening, with the wedding date for the following Sunday.

So far, I hadn’t heard anything about it being called off… and I was starting to get a little worried here. Christian said Brad was looking into something, but he didn’t have anything tangible just yet.

I did my best to carry on as if it was on. I made all the corresponding reservations with the few guests Yakiv had invited. I made seating charts for the two families, and somehow both Joan and Derek made it on the guest list.

When I told Derek about the whole wedding this Wednesday morning, he said something even more concerning. “Could you potentially put me under a different name? I don’t think The Gardens is going to let me attend otherwise.”

I wasn’t sure I even wanted to ask, but I made the switch anyways. Our troubled Derek was now Tim.

Christian was busy pretty much this whole week. We spent the night again together Wednesday evening, yet by the time he managed to come over, we were both too tired to do anything but knockout.

Brad still didn’t know about what Christian had planned. I asked him when he planned on telling him, and all Christian could do was shrug. “Feels like he’s even more busier than I am right now. I’m guessing he’s going mad trying to figure this wedding out.”

And figuring this out was all I really wanted at the moment.

I did my best to relieve stress for the Ivanov’s any way I could. I even had Christian forward me some of the files he was supposed to take a look at, for potential investors.

I held him when he came home late.

Listened to him speak about the growing rift between his mother and father.

Sometimes I wondered how he juggled everything. One small inconvenience seemed to send my whole day into a deep-seated pit of hell.

By the time Thursday presented itself, I was very much over the fucking week. We met at the location for the florist a little differently this time, considering it was a later appointment. Roslana arrived in a company car Christian must have sent for her, but he came separately in his own sports car.

At first I wasn’t sure if I had forwarded the right address. The name of the shop was Lilly’s Lilies, but the sign was incredibly small. It was in the window instead of on the building.

This place, from the outside looking in, seemed a bit run down. When Christian, Roslana, and I got closer however- that’s when things started to take form. The inside of the shop was a fairytale. I couldn’t understand how it felt so much bigger inside, and before I could further investigate, we were welcomed by an older looking woman.

“Hello there! You must be my eight o’clock appointment. Please, do come in!”

She was wearing a large beige apron, accompanied with black rubber boots. The kind of boots I’d wear for jumping in puddles. It made her walk a little funny, but her charming looks masked that flaw easily. She had a name tag attached to the apron with the name

Lilly

printed in cursive.

I did my best to take it in. Take it all in.

The beautiful twinkle lights woven into each bouquets lit up an otherwise dark room like nothing I’d ever seen before. I was immediately drawn to a white flower assortment, closer to the window. The name card next to it said that these were White Lisianthus.

Roslana was the first put some words together. I almost didn’t process that the woman had spoken to us.

“That we are, thank you. This shop is absolutely exquisite.” She spoke to Lilly. That made this beautiful woman’s smile deepen.

“Thank you very much! You must be Roslana. Your father Yakiv reached out personally for these arrangements. He set together a list of flowers he would like for you to select from. Would you all like to join me in my office, to take a look?” Lilly asked.

I was about to say something, but Roslana beat me to it. “Why don’t you two look around here. I won’t be long.” She said to Christian and I. I sent her a smile, more than happy to spend as much time possible in a room this beautiful.

Lilly seemed content with that too, as she lead Roslana through a different portion of the building, before disappearing down a corridor.

••

32

Warning: Explicit Content ;)

Christian

I couldn’t stop looking at Alex through the evening.

He looked so… happy , and if a few flowers could do this to him, I was starting to debate buying out the store.

Roslana had been true to her word. She didn’t take longer than about thirty minutes in the back. I got to spend that time walking around with Alex, as we read off the different names for flowers. He kept gravitating back towards the White Lisianthus, I could tell those were his favourite.

Rightfully so, they were stunning.

I wondered what arrangements Yakiv had set aside for Roslana to choose from. She didn’t mention what they were when she returned, so I guessed it was going to be a surprise at the wedding… if we got to a wedding.

I was hell bent on making sure that didn’t happen.

When it was time to leave, Alex was visibly disappointed. I wanted to touch him so bad. To pull him into my arms. To hold his hand as we walked around. How was it that we just figured out what us was, and now we had to hide it?

That was some serious fucking bullshit.

As soon as we made it back to his apartment however, I let all those urges out. He made a surprised squeal when I tugged him into my chest. “Every second I spend not being able to touch you, drives me insane.” I whispered against his now swollen lips. Both hands slid from his lower back, to grab his ass. He was just so soft.

I wanted to make love to him tonight. And every night from here on out, honestly.

“ I-fuckk .“ He whispered hoarsely, leaning further into me. “ P-Please- “

I gently nibbled on the skin, applying just a little more pressure each time, but also making sure I didn’t hurt him. “ What was that? “ I mumbled against him. His pants had started to grow heavier. I could feel him shiver against me.

“P-Please- I-” his words were broken fragments, but I knew what he wanted. What he was asking me to give him.

I pulled away from him, finding it almost impossible to, but it needed to be done. I instead slipped my hand into his, and lead him to his bedroom.

He didnt even get the chance to start undressing himself. I didn’t give him that. Instead, I did it for him. I pulled off the button down shirt he didn’t bother to change out of, after the work day. I worked quickly, eager to separate him from all this damn fabric.

I wanted to feel his bare self against my own. It took me a bit to figure out Alex’s belt, though. As soon as he realized I was struggling with this weird ass modern style buckle, his fingers helped me release the latch.

Those pants practically flew off. As soon a I worked Alex down to nothing but his boxers, I told him to lay down on the bed. His cock was hard, pressing tight against the sheer black fabric. My eyes raked over his body, as I savored every last second I possibly could. These moments where coming fewer and far between these days.

My clothes were easier to get rid of, but Alex seemed to enjoy the strip show I was giving him as I undressed.

“Come here.” He whispered, moving further up the bed. I gently crawled on top of him, allowing my hands to slowly spread across his exposed body. His skin was unimaginably soft.

So delicate against me.

When my fingers grazed over a nipple, his back arched off the bed.

How long has it been since I last made him feel good? I thought to myself. Too fucking long. I wanted to hear him scream my name, apartment walls allowing.

As I stared down at this perfection of a man, I felt my heart do that fluttering shit again. It happened whenever Alex gave me a cheeky smile, or released an unexpectedly loud, genuine laugh.

Sometimes it hit me unexpectedly, like when I caught him staring at me.

Today, it was the radiating happiness I felt by just being with him. Accepting all of his vulnerability that was reserved for me, and only me. Knowing that, inflicted the strongest of feelings. There was something sacred about it.

As soon as I felt absolutely certain I would cum in my boxers if Alex made anymore soft moans, I pulled his boxers off completely. Every time I freed his erection from his briefs, I found Alex’s precum to be some of the sexiest shit I’ve ever seen. He was leaking with need, practically asking for me to take him into my mouth.

I was about to, but Alex’s hands rested gently on the sides of my face before I could.

“It-it’s been a bit of a while since w-we last- I don’t think I’ll last if you-” he was trying to explain himself. Knowing just how turned on he was right now, almost sent me over the edge.

“That okay.” I whispered, crawling further up him to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “How would you like me to touch you?” I asked. I had no problem making him cum over and over and over again. Alex had the most embarrassed look on his face though.

“I-Is it’s okay if I get on top?” He asked.

I hadn’t meant to, but my fingers dig so hard into Alex’s mattress, a nail got caught on the fabric.

JesusfuckingChrist.

We both weren’t going to last tonight.

“Y-Y-Yes.” I stuttered out, pulling myself away from Alex so we could switch positions. I loved how bold he was being. How comfortable he was, to ask things like this. I leant against his headboard in a sitting position, as I watched Alex straddle me.

This was the most perfect position. It allowed our cocks to rub against each other, causing Alex’s nails to start digging into my arm. “ I- fuck, oh fuck- “ he was grinding his lower self against me, as my arms held him. I allowed a hand to wander a little lower, gripping his ass tight before finding his entrance.

As my finger started to massage the area, Alex’s body shook. He was so tight, I had to moisten my fingers with my mouth before I returned them.

When the first digit entered him, the whimper he released made me momentarily slow down. I hadn’t even entered him yet, and I really was dangerously close to release.

“ P-Please- “ Alex whimpered again.

Fuck me.

I pushed the first digit further inside him, and this caused him to buckle into me. When his dick ground against my own again, I gripped every inch of him tighter. “ C-Christian p-please I- I- “ the way he said my name.

The way his fingers started digging deep into me.

I needed to feel him now.

“ Fuck, Alex please- fuck- “ I panted, feeling him grind harder against me, while simultaneously pushing back against my fingers. I pulled him forward, placing my leaking, straight throbbing cock up against his stretched entrance. I had every intention of going slow, to insure I wouldn’t hurt Alex…

But he was the one who pushed himself down on me. “ Oh fucking fuckkk… “ My tipped back against the headboard in pure ecstasy.

This was unbelievable.

He was unbelievable.

He leant forward further, placing his lips on mine. I could feel every tremble. Every shake. Every fucking shiver.

As he took me inside him completely, I felt me approaching the edge. “ Oh fuck, Alex you’re so fucking tight .“ I growled against his lips. His nails had broken skin now. The pain mixed with pleasure made me want to never stop. Alex started to ride me harder, holding on to me with his remaining energy.

And I made sure I held him tight. His whimpers and moans let me know that he was there too. That we were both right at the edge, about to spill over. I bit down on his bottom lip lightly, adding to the swollen state.

“Will you cum for me, baby?” I asked him.

That’s when I felt his body spasm. The moan he released then, fucking sent me. That, mixed in with his tight orgasmic contractions on my cock, and him literally curling into my body…

Yeah, I came right then and there. His cum felt warm against my bare stomach, creating the sticky situation in between us, but I refused to let go of him. Judging by how tightly he held onto me, I didn’t think he was ready to either.

His body was now a shaking mess, completely spent.

My hands gently massaged his back, up to his shoulders. I felt his breathing fan against my neck, it was still labored from our previous acts.

Holding this man in my arms, as his body literally molded into mine… made me realize just how fiercely I loved Alexander Hamilton.

••

33

Alex

I fell asleep to easy pace of Christian’s heartbeat that night.

As I laid there in his arms, he gently massaged my shoulders and neck, down to my back. I felt like I was on cloud nine. Like I had tapped into a pocket of the purest bliss, even if it was just for a night.

I wanted to stay as wide awake as my body would allow. It was my attempt at clinging to this feeling of being completely content… but the scent from Christian’s cologne, and his soft breathes against my forehead were equivalent to my kryptonite.

I awoke to the sound of my obnoxious bedside alarm going off the next morning, reminding me that it was now 7:05 and I needed to get a move on for work. As I finally came to, I expected Christian to have already left, like he usually did. Instead, I awoke to the firmness of the same chest, as an arm wrapped itself securely around me.

Another hand must’ve slapped the shit out of my alarm clock, because the whole thing fell to the floor with a loud crash. It stopped ringing though.

“Sorry.” Christian whispered huskily into my ear. As if my body hadn’t died and been resurrected, I felt every chill run through me all over again. Every fucking chill. Waves of pleasure from the previous night, came flooding back to me.

The way Christian had touched me…

“Y-Yes.” I croaked out, trying to compose myself. I felt Christian’s hand move to my hair. He started to massage my scalp again like last night, and that caused me to almost immediately relax further into him.

I never wanted to leave this.

Not this bed. Not this man.

“My alarm went off earlier, but I couldn’t pull myself to get out of bed.” He explained. That made me want to smile, but my face was practically cemented to Christian’s chest. I was positive I was going to have those unattractive sleep lines when I finally did separate myself from him. “So I decided I’d wait till yours went off.”

The hand that I had draped over his stomach, slid up to his chest.

I loved every part about Christian’s body. The tattoos. The definition. His chest felt perfectly sculpted underneath my finger tips. Now that he was mine, and I was his, I had to constantly remind myself that I could touch him like this whenever. “I dwont wanna gwet up.” I mumbled into him.

That husky chuckle Christian let out, created a jolt of shivers so strong I was positive that he felt them this time. “Five more minutes then.” He murmured against the side of my head…

Those five minutes had subsequently turned into almost forty-five minutes.

We fell right back asleep.

It was actually calls from the office, that woke us both up. They called Christian to confirm that he would be making it in this morning. Apparently, Brad had called in about being late himself. Christian said it was odd, but given the current circumstances, understandable.

Joan was blowing up my phone to make sure I wasn’t late to clock in. I made a simple mental note to remind her of the fact that I was indeed dating our boss, and my tardiness was now almost encouraged at times.

That last part was for sure an entire lie- Christian encouraged punctuality like it was a part of his personality. I had to remind myself of who his parents were at times… of course punctuality was engraved in him.

Nevertheless, both Christian and I were forced to detangle ourselves from each other. Christian was quick to pull himself together and get dressed, but before I could mumble an apology for keeping him, he bent down to silence me with a kiss.

“Last night was-… well if we discuss this any further this morning, I may never leave your bed.” He lingered a little longer, pressing his forehead gently into mine. “But what I can admit right now, is I’ve never felt that way with anyone before. It may have been one of the best nights of my life…” that last part was whispered even lower.

I couldn’t stop myself as I cupped his face to connect our lips again.

My heart forgot what functionality was, and my mind seemed to jump on that bandwagon of uselessness. All that fell past my lips were the simple words “I love you.” I mumbled those against his.

It made Christian pause for just a literal fraction of a second, before he pushed me back onto the bed. I expected our lips to disconnect, yet they hadn’t. Instead, Christian took this moment to murmur something against mine.

“And I love you.”

Then he deepened his kiss, causing my toes to curl and my heart to pretty much explode.

Christian

I made sure to take care of Alex before I left, in every way I saw fit.

He insisted we didn’t have time for a blowjob, but I told him there was always time for a blowjob.

In this case though, Alex may have been right.

“How is it that I manage to call in for a late start, and I still get here earlier than you do?” Brad asked, already sitting in my office as I entered. The first look I sent him was a grin. I was in took good a fucking mood to have him hinder that.

“I rarely ever miss a day, let me have this.” I replied, closing my office door behind me. If Brad was here, conversations were going to be had.

There was some paperwork on my desk, that I noticed I hadn’t left there the previous night. My guess was that Brad brought it with him this morning. “What are these?” I asked, letting my briefcase drop lifelessly to the floor besides me, as I took a seat.

“Those are some more investment offers we’ve received.” Brad replied.

Great , I thought. The work never ends .

“Don’t worry about them for now. I’ll handle them once this other mess we’ve got on our hands, is handled. Right now, we’ve got some more pressing matters to attend to.”

“Right,” I gave Brad a nod, “like the wedding that’s still very much happening in the next 48 hours.”

“Like the wedding, yes.” He replied. He shifted forward slightly, like he was going to let me in on something more confidential than what a closed door could block out. “I’ve been able to exhume more records on Yakiv, but I won’t have anything tangible in my hands until Monday.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I processed what he was saying. “The wedding is Sunday evening, Brad.”

“Yeah I know that.” Brad was quick to snap back with. Some of that stress was starting to deep through, which made me shut up.

Sometimes I forgot everything Brad was juggling. He didn’t wear stress on his sleeve, the same way I did. Most days he didn’t wear it at all. That was just one of many emotions Brad often reserved for himself.

“I’m working on getting this sooner than that. I’ve had to… pull more strings, but it looks promising. Obviously, if things are to work out correctly, I need you to act as if the wedding is still on. Meet with guests, eat the food, and stall for as long as humanely fucking possible. Whatever you do, you can’t marry Roslana.” Brad instructed me.

It was hard to conceal my look of disappointment, seeing as I didn’t even expect the wedding to make it this far. All I could do was give Brad a nod at this point. I had faith that he had exhausted every option available to him, and this was all that was left.

“I’m serious Christian, marriage isn’t an option in this particular instance. Thats in relation to something you mentioned about divorce…” Brad continued. “Though it does not directly indicate this, the agreements signed outlined that the marriage must be upheld in direct regards to the oath taken upon marriage.”

My eyebrows furrowed further, unsure as to what exactly Brad meant by that.

“What this means Christian, is that this marriage between you and Roslana will be bound by the circumstances of this contract, till death doth one of you part.”

••

34

I’m back! And boyyy is it getting juicy.

Enjoy, lovelies!

xoxo

Alex

The end to the week went by faster than I could’ve possibly imagined. By the time Sunday rolled around, I wasn’t sure what was happening anymore.

Christian had mentioned that Brad figured out a plan, but we were going to need to stall for as long as we possibly could with this wedding.

Was I thrilled about us having to attend a potentially real wedding that involved the man I love?

No.

Was I willing to get besides myself and my emotions in order to let Brad handle things?

Yes.

If this meant I got to leave this god forsaken beautiful venue, with a non married boyfriend, I’d do whatever was asked.

Christian stayed with me through the entirety of the weekend. He did his best to carve out quality time for us. We went out for a stroll, made some meals together- well, I cooked and Christian watched. The only thing he could do well was breakfast, and while having breakfast for dinner wasn’t completely unheard of, I refused to eat it for every meal.

Christian was… he was tender . A word I never thought I’d use to describe Christian fucking Ivanov. He wanted to spend the time at my place, but I suggested we go to his. Nathaniel was probably a little lonely, in that mansion all by himself.

“At least you’ll be the best dressed in that establishment.” He bent down to whisper in my ear, as I worked on fixing my bow tie. A shiver ran through me, recalling more mind explosive sex we had the previous night, when he was whispering all kinds of things in my ear.

I watched as my face turned a deep red shade, through the bathroom mirror.

“I hate to admit that I’m excited to see how everything looks. I’m also excited to just be in The Gardens again.” I spoke freely. Christian placed his hands on my hips, as he left light kisses against my neck. If he took this any further, we were going to be late for the wedding.

I thought about Christian just not showing up. What if we ran away right now?

I knew the circumstances, but could you blame a guy for fantasizing?

“Christiannnn.” I more or less groaned, when his teeth grazed my delicate skin. “Stoppp. We’re going to be late.” I heard him release a whine that sounded like a five year old was just told no.

“It’s not something I care to be on time to.” He grumbled to himself. I rolled my eyes at him, but it made me smile. At least we were on the same page about this absolute fuckery of a situation.

Ironically, the most stressful situation right off the bat was getting Derek into the venue. Once Christian and I arrived at The Gardens, I noticed that Derek was standing outside the building pacing nervously.

The first thing Christian did when we excited the vehicle for valet, was sigh heavily. Mentally, I knew he already checked out of whatever situation Derek was either about to get himself into, or had gotten himself into already.

“Derek, what are you doing out here?” I asked this bewildered man who, for maybe the first time ever, was in a normal colored suit.

I honestly wasn’t sure what I was expecting tonight, but black wasn’t it.

“I was waiting for you two.” He gestured between Christian and myself. That made Christian even more concerned. “I recognized the lady at the front desk, and booked it before she could see me. Luckily I had this fake mustache in my car, but I need a distraction. Whats a better distraction than the groom himself?”

“What do you mean recognized?” Christian asked, at the exact same I asked:

“Why did you have a mustache in your car?”

Before Derek could decide which question to answer, I chose for him. “Derek’s been kicked out of The Gates before.” I said to Christian, “And scratch the mustache question, I doubt I even want to know.” That part was directed at Derek.

The look on Christian’s face said it all. If I wasn’t pressed to get this situation handled immediately, I would have busted out laughing.

Derek was already putting the fake mustache on. It looked like a fuzzy caterpillar had found refuge on his upper lip… but once again, all the fucks I had to give were already allocated. Christian and I walked in first, with Derek close behind us. Thanks to his height, the front desk lady didn’t even see him. She offered up a pleasant welcome, and directed us to follow the signs that said Christian & Roslana in the fanciest of font.

I wanted to take every sign in this bitch and burn them, but I did my best to keep that irritation in check.

“I’m going to go find Slav. Would you let Roslana know that we’ll be stalling any way we possibly can?” Christian asked me. I gave him a nod, watching as he continued down the long corridor towards the main room.

“You should find Joan, I’m sure she’s already seated. Everything is set to start at 6pm, but we’re going to try all we can to make sure that doesn’t happen.” I explained to Derek. He too gave me a nod, before he followed after Christian.

I, instead, went on a hunt for the bride.

I found Roslana pretty quickly. The door to the brides chambers were closed, so I made sure to knock before entering.

“Come in.” She called out through the door. As I entered, my feet slowed to a stop. Roslana was fitted already in a long elegant white dress. Her hair had been perfectly curled and pinned into a half up half down style. It complimented the dress so well, I thought I was looking right at a model from a bridal magazine.

“You-wow, Roslana you look- just wow.” I whispered. That made her lips tug up into a smile, but I could see it wasn’t all there. I walked in fully, closing the door behind us.

“Thank you for such kind words. I need that today.” Her face was stoic, but her voice sounded like she was on the verge of tears. I felt my heart crumble, immediately chastising myself for thinking such negative thought about this woman. She was every bit a victim, just like Christian. “If I could call this whole thing off, I would. Even now, I ask myself if inheriting my fathers legacy is worth this. Worth hurting people.”

“I promise, Roslana, you won’t be getting married today.” Those words came out more assuring than I felt, or even thought.

They weren’t complete lies though, I had every intention of stopping this wedding if it was literally the last thing I did on this god forsaken earth.

That made Roslana’s eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean?” She asked.

“Christian and I have been working on finding a way out of this, since we first heard about the marriage. Christians and I, we-” I stopped myself short, unsure of how to explain what Christians and I were.

“I know.” Roslana smiled again, this one was more genuine. “Anyone with eyes can see the way that man looks at you.”

I wasn’t sure the feeling I was feeling right now could be explained. Happiness was a decent start.

Before I could reply, Roslana’s phone made a text alert sound. She glanced down at the screen a moment, before glancing back up at me. “It looks like my father has just arrived. What’s the plan?” She asked.

“For now, we stall like all hell.” I replied.

••

35

Hi lovelies! Just a few chapters left now. Idk why my heart was beating so quickly while writing, like I didn’t create this story or some shit 😂

Please enjoy!

As always, thank you guys so much. I love y’all

xoxo

Christian

“Have you heard from Brad yet?” Slav asked, leaning further into me. My mother reached across the both of us to fix my tie.

“I haven’t, no.” I shook my head, while simultaneously shooing my mothers hands away. They were both on edge, and rightfully so… but we all were, and I didn’t need to be more suffocated than I already felt. Slav was fidgeting nervously with his hands, as more guests started to pool in.

The wedding itself was set to be an intimate gathering, with no more than twenty people total on the guest list. I recognized virtually no one, besides maybe two people who may have been long time investors to Ivanov Corp. It was hard to tell from where we were sitting.

The venue itself was every bit as gorgeous as Alex had tried to describe to me. The first thing I noticed when entering The Gardens, was that Roslana chose the White Lisianthus as the signature flowers for the ceremony.

I wasn’t sure if those were the flowers Yakiv had chosen, but it brought a smile to my face regardless. Alex was going to love the sight of these.

“Have you thought of a way to stall?” Slav asked. I gave him a nod.

“Roslana is still in her chambers, but I’ve already caught wind that she’s claiming to be experiencing some cramps. She’s with Yakiv now. Alex texted to let me know that he arrived, and that this should buy Brad maybe another thirty to fourth-five minutes. They’re hunting down some pain killers before the ceremony begins, otherwise she said she physically won’t be able to walk down the isle.”

“That’s a stellar excuse.” My mother noted. “Some seriously smart thinking on that young woman’s part.”

“Well, she is Yakiv’s daughter.” Slav replied.

I wasn’t sure why, but that triggered a bit of curiosity in me. Slav and I had yet to discuss Yakiv, and more of his history. Specifically, his friendship to Slav, and close relationship with this research work. Unfortunately this was the worst place to try and have that conversation.

I was pretty surprised by how well of an excuse that was, myself. Sooner or later though, someone was going to locate some pain killers, and that’s when the countdown would really begin.

“Nevertheless Christian, listen to me. If Brad isn’t able to make it here in time, I want you to call this off.” I glanced over at Slav, allowing me a moment to process his words.

“But your research-” I started. Slav shook his head almost immediately, cutting me off.

“Fuck the research at that point. I told you I’d exhaust all options, and if Brad isn’t able to get that last bit of information, then so be it. I’m not going to sit here and watch you marry someone you don’t love.” Slav’s voice was steady, letting me know he meant every word he said. I also noticed his hands didn’t stop fidgeting, and that’s how I knew he was still nervous as all hell about a decision like that.

My mothers hand slipped into my fathers, to steady his. He turned and offer her a smile. “Regardless of what happens Christian, we’ll be alright.” She said to me.

I gave them both a nod. I was unsure how to answer that. If I called this thing off, that was decades of work my father had dedicated, going down the drain. Brad and I hadn’t seen him for years , because of how much this research meant to him.

I wasn’t sure what parts of my father would be left, if I forced him to give that up.

Before any of us could dwell on this further, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. There was just one message sent through to me from Alex. It said:

Yakiv just left. We need you.

“Christian!” I heard a voice call out to me from further down the hall, stopping me dead in my tracks. As I turned around, the very large Yakiv came immediately into view. “Where are you going, son? The ceremony is about to start.”

He was in a crisp black suit. One that was snug enough to showcase every bulge of muscle on this giant. It did well to remind me of why I wouldn’t dare get on his bad side.

“I-” I froze, unsure of what to say.

I couldn’t tell him I was going to visit Roslana and Alex. Everyone knew it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.

“I-um, I’m going to the kitchen real quick. I think there was some sort of mixup.” Realization looked to settle upon Yakiv’s face, and I honestly couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing.

“Oh! Yes, it looks like Roslana made changes to the cake order. My god, she sure did make a lot of changes.”

Changes to the order? I thought to myself. Right now, I didn’t have the time to investigate that further. “Yes!” I gave him an enthusiastic nod. “I’m just going to check and make sure things are looking right.”

Yakiv gave me a slow nod. “Just… don’t be long. We had a bit of a delay, but now we’re back on track here.” That was the last thing Yakiv said to me before he disappeared into the main event area.

Fuck , was all I could think as I quickly made my way towards the bride’s chambers.

Once I arrived, my assumptions were correct. Roslana was seated on one of the lounge couches in her room, with a bottom of Advil in hand. My first initial response when my eyes caught sight of her, was that she looked absolutely gorgeous. The dress she chose was the very definition of elegance.

Alex ushered me in quickly, then shut the door behind us.

“Yakiv found aspirin, so now he expects her to be ready in less than 20 min to walk. It’s not looking good, Christian.” Alex explained.

Roslana seemed like she was going to fall apart at any moment, and that just made me hurt more. She didn’t want this. I didn’t want this. No one here besides her father wanted this, and I couldn’t begin to think about what was at stake for her.

I felt the pressure of every situation.

My fathers… Roslana’s… Alex’s… Mine .

“Alex.” I whispered softly, glancing down at this handsome man. “Can I talk to you privately a moment?”

Alex nodded, searching my eyes to see if I’d give just an inkling as to what this was about. I only followed him back out into the hallway, leaving Roslana to her chambers alone.

“What is it?” Alex asked, once we were my ourselves. “What are you thinking?”

“I just-” I started, yet cut myself short. I took a deep inhale before I could muster the courage to continue. “You know that I love you, right?” I asked him.

Alex gave me a slow nod. “And I love you.” He replied.

I could never get sick of hearing those words come from him. Never .

“And you know that I would never ever willingly do something to hurt you, right?” I continued, unsure of how to even correctly word this to him. That made Alex’s eyebrows furrow.

“You’re not-” I heard his voice break slightly. “You’re not breaking up with me… are you?”

The way he said those words, made my heart shatter in a way I didn’t think was possible.

“God no , you idiot. I’m trying to fucking

propose .“

Before I could explain myself any further, I heard another voice carry down the hallway from somewhere at the buildings entrance. Both Alex and myself turned to see what the hell was going on, when we heard the voice get louder.

“I got it! I fucking got it!” Brad called, sprinting down the hallway. His dress shoe had got caught in front of the other, and I watched this large man come tumbling down the carpet.

There was something he had held onto during the fall. Something he kept clutched tight within his fingers, even after he picked himself up from the embarrassment.

Two Manila envelopes.

••

36

Christian

Brad handed me the now slightly crinkled folders he was holding so desperately onto, as he started to dust off his dirty pants. The carpet had left streaks from when he fumbled.

“What are these?” I asked, flipping open the Manila folders.

Before he could replied, there was someone else who exited the main room. It was Slav.

“Brad!” Slav called, jogging over to us. I appreciated the hustle from both men this evening, but I held my breath in hopes he’d do a better job of sprinting than Brad had. I think it was Brad’s large feet, that were his downfall. Quite literally. The shoes he was wearing today had more pointed tip as well, that easily got caught on the carpet as he walked.

“These,” Brad gestured to the documents, “are bank records from two conservative accounts linked to Slav’s research facility.” I glance down at the paperwork again. They were statements on what looked like three different accounts total. “The funds in and out don’t match what’s recorded on this register here.” Brad explained to Slav now, as he pointed to the second folder. “So I did some digging on this private account listed here, that channels back to one of Yakiv’s accountants.”

Brad flipped through some of the pages I was holding onto, and pointed to the records for a different account. I barely understood any of the shit listed, considering it was all in Ukrainian, but the numeric figures matched what was debited from the conservative accounts, and what was credited to this private account.

“I don’t- I don’t understand how you got this-” Slav began to ask, but I cut him short. We really didn’t have time for a line of questioning right now.

I shut the open folders, and thrust them into Slav’s hands. “Go stop this wedding before Yakiv gets any further.”

Slav nodded, slipping the folders under his arm before he quickly made his way to the main room. I turned back to Alex and Brad.

“Alex, could you make sure that everything is completed halted? I know the venue might have questions with all these delays, and Roslana would probably like to know what’s going on. I need to speak with Brad in private a moment, then I’ll join you immediately after.” I explained to this man.

Alex looked about as stunned as he probably should’ve been, all things considered. He was able to put aside that confusion, and give me a firm nod.

“That , I can definitely do.” I watched the man I was just mere seconds away from proposing to, follow my father back towards the main room. It killed me to know I couldn’t see his initial reaction when he saw the lit up White Lisianthus lining the walls and isle, reflecting against the clear ceiling which opened up to the evening sky.

I wanted to see that adoration return to his eyes. The same look he had given those flowers that night… But there was more pressing matters to attend to, and I didn’t use that phrase lightly this time around.

What Slav started to ask, only amplified how I felt about the documents Brad had given me. As soon as I found an empty room, I practically threw Brad into it, and locked the door behind us.

“What the hell Christi-” Brad started, but I cut him off.

“Sit the fuck down, and shut the hell up.” I snapped back. “Don’t you what the hell me, Brad. ‘A few strings’ my fucking ass . Slav is right, regardless of whatever you could exhume, that private account would not be listed publicly anywhere . This means you obtained this information very fucking illegally, and I need to know how . I need to know how right now.”

Brad took a seat on one of the plush lounge chairs located in this room. The room itself was almost an exact replica to the one Roslana was still in, and it got me thinking that maybe this was the grooms chambers or something.

“It’s not- that’s not important right now. What’s important is that this is fixed-“Brad started, but I cut him off again.

“No!” My fingers went up to the bridge of my nose, in a desperate attempt to relieve myself of this growing headache. “This isn’t good, Brad. Slav and I, we-” I stopped myself short, suddenly unsure of how to continue. This wasn’t how I had meant to tell him, but Brad needed to understand exactly why this wasn’t good. “Slav and I spoke. We’ve started the work to transfer his COO position into your name.”

That made Brad’s eyes grow large. Clear and evident shock was written all over his face. “You-” he started, put didn’t complete that sentence.

I gave my brother a nod. “Slav agreed to transfer it. This means that your shares in this company just went up big time, but so did your title Brad. I can’t have you out here doing illegal shit when we’re literally about to name you as the companies Chief Operations Officer. I need to know exactly what you did, to get this information.”

I tried to read Brad’s face. I could tell I had caught him off guard completely. The more damaging thing was, I couldn’t tell whether he was happy or not.

This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, or looking forward to.

“I-” Brad started again. You could see he was searching for the right words. “I am- I’m so grateful. Seriously Christian, I had no idea that you would- I-” Brad sounded like he was short circuiting now. I took a seat close to him, on another lounge chair.

“Hey hey, I should have brought this up with you earlier. I didn’t mean to spring it on you like this. I meant to tell you after this all blew over-”

Brad shook his head, silencing me. “No, I am seriously grateful. Like I’m not sure how to put into words how grateful I am, I just- it’s just-” This time, I let him take all the time he needed to continue.

Something told me this wasn’t about the COO position anymore.

“You and Slav weren’t wrong. That private account’s transactions weren’t something I or close to anyone else, could legally obtain. I had to- I had to reach out for some assistance. I had to reach out to someone who could hack a family as

prominent as Yakiv’s. Someone who already has.“

It was my turn to be stunned completely into silence.

I felt my heart beat start to escalate, yet I couldn’t tell whether it was this headache amplifying the beat or not.

“Brad, please tell me you didn’t…”

“I had no other choice.” Brad sighed. It was as if the stress of these past few weeks, were now pushed to the forefront of his emotions. “Vadik had the connections, and I simply didn’t.”

I felt a sea of emotions overcome me. “Brad, we would’ve figured something else out. Anything else out.” I mean, was two seconds away from proposing to Alex for fucks sake.

“Not within the time frame allowed.” Brad replied. “I wasn’t going to force you into a marriage… regardless of whether that was with Roslana, or Alex. You deserve- you own the right to choose who, and when. No one gets to pressure you into that. Not my brother.”

That burning sensation had returned to my eyes. Out of everything I could have expected, this wasn’t it. This was the farthest from it.

“What did he ask for in return?” I asked quietly, struggling to hold these tears at bay.

“He asked me to temporarily return home.”

That made my eyebrows furrow with deep confusion. “Back to Mum and Dad’s?”

“No,” Brad shook his head. “Back to Russia.”

••

37

So there’s only one chapter left after this one, and omfg now I really don’t know how to act. If y’all so much as breathe on me incorrectly, I might cry lol.

As always, thank you so much for reading!

You’ll get my full sap on the next chapter, no doubt.

And as always,

I love you guys.

xoxo

Christian

“R-Russia?!”

“It’s not as bad as you think.” Brad tried to argue, as I sent him the most accurate you must be fucking joking look I could muster. “It’s temporary, and it’s what I was looking into doing anyways, before this whole thing with Vadik happened.” He continued. “I’d be orchestrating business relations between his company and a partnering company, and it’s only a few months. I’ll still have time to work with Ivanov Corp as well, I’ll just be in a different country while doing it.”

I stared at Brad incredulously. “I don’t like this shit at all.”

“Unfortunately, this isn’t for you to decide. It’s already decided.” Brad replied. “And I seriously never thought I’d say this to you Christian, but how about you leave some sacrificing for the rest of us?” He added.

I had to look away, in fear I’d crack a grin and break the severity of this conversation. How dare Brad even think to say that, with all the sacrificing this fucker has done? What I was really doing, was evening the playing field.

“So what am I going to do in the mean time?” I asked. “I can’t imagine Mum and Dad will take the news well.”

“I don’t believe they will either.” Brad nodded. “But they’ll have to. At least Slav has the leverage now to cancel this ridiculous marriage and we can get on with things. Plus, this internship will no doubt contribute to my work as COO here. All I ask is that you trust me Christian.”

I leant back into the plush cushion of this lounge chair, allowing my thoughts to wander. What would getting on even fucking look like?

I thought about Alex and what I was about to ask him, before Brad arrived.

Had I been that ready for marriage?

Or was that all due to some spur of the moment decisions?

I knew that I loved him. I knew that I wanted to ride out whatever was left of this bullshit existence, with him. Most importantly, I knew that there was an entirely free wedding just sitting at our fingertips this evening.

“ Hypothetically speaking , how crazy would it be for one to propose marriage to someone, having only known them for a few months?“ I asked Brad. His face immediately broke out into a grin. “ Hypothetically speaking, Brad. Hypothetically .“ I reiterated. That part made Brad laugh. “What?” I added.

“Nothing, it’s just- this reminds me of the conversation we had a few months ago, when you first brought up Alex. I believe you were asking what me what to do because he had disrespected you in some way. It’s absolutely insane how different these two hypothetical situations are.”

That made me grin. It was impossible to stop those lips from curling up.

This was an entirely different hypothetical situation.

“I guess I can try to Confucius my way through this.” Brad started, leaning back a bit. “A couple months ago, you asked whether or not you should fire someone who was being critical of you as a person, and leader. I told you it ultimately boiled down to the value you put on the person, their words, and the part they played within this company. Today, you’re asking me whether or not you should marry that very same person.” I listened intently as Brad took a momentary pause. “All I can say is that question ultimately boils down to the value you put on that person, their words, and the part they play in your life. This isn’t something I can comfortably decide for you, because no one knows your relationship better than you do Christian.”

My knee jerk reaction would’ve been to frown at Brad’s vague words, but I didn’t.

“Back then, I told you to stop and think before you did anything hasty, like fire Alex. Today must be one of those days because I’m going to tell you to do something else I never thought I’d say. I want you to act solely on your feeling, for this particular decision. Marriage isn’t something you neglect to ponder, but it’s also not something you should overthink. No one would get married if that was the case.”

I wanted to punch my brother in his goddamn face so being so poetic, but I understood what he was saying.

“How do you think I did?” He asked me, referring to his advice.

“Confucius has nothing on those decipherable proverbs.” I replied sarcastically with a grin.

Brad accompanied me as we made our way back to the main hall. I took a look inside, searching for Alex, but I didn’t see him seated anywhere. I couldn’t find Roslana either. Slav and Yakiv seemed to have excused themselves as well.

“I’d check the bride chambers.” Brad suggested when he noticed me looking around. I gave him a nod, leaving the room of slightly impatient guests, to hunt them down.

Before I could extend my arm to knock on Roslana’s door, it was thrown open. “Oh!” Roslana jumped, unexpectedly coming face to face with me. I could tell she was already in better spirits than how we’d left her. “Thank you!” She smiled, pulling me in for an unexpected brief hug. Just as quickly as it happened, it was done, and she was zooming past me back out into the hallway, with the long tail end of her dress following closely behind. Alex was the only person left in this room now.

“She’s going to let the rest of the guests know the wedding has been called off.” He explained, as I walked in and closed the door behind us.

“Looks like she took the news well.” I noted.

Alex nodded with a smile on his lips. “She practically tackled me when I told her. It makes me happy to know that she doesn’t have to go through with this… but what hurts more is knowing that Yakiv could try again. It sounded like he’s leveraging her future in order for her to get married, and I don’t fuck with that at all.”

I nodded at that. I didn’t fuck with that either.

“I’m just happy we got this issue sorted.” He finished, pushing himself up from one of the couches.

I gave him a smile, yet I let it falter. “I don’t think we have yet.” I said.

The look of bewilderment was more than apparent on Alex’s face. “What do you mean?” He asked. “Please don’t tell me there’s more.”

I shook my head slowly, allowing myself a few seconds to word this much better I had done with our previous conversation. “Just a minute ago, I was prepared to propose to you, Alex. At that time, I’ll admit I felt the pressure of the situation weighing heavy. I wasn’t sure what route I could take, that would leave the least amount of people hurt.” I took another brief pause, completely perplexed by how nervous I was right now. “I didn’t know it then, but I decided in that exact moment, that I loved you. I’ve confessed my love for you a few times. Less times than I probably should… but it was in that moment when I realized exactly what loving a person seriously looks like.

“It’s not unconditional… because I want nothing more than for you to let me know exactly where your boundaries lie. I don’t want you to love me regardless of how I might violate those levels of comfort. The only person you should show unconditional love to, is yourself. And it’s not a compromise, because neither of us should feel cheated by any outcome we decide on. I’ve realized now that it’s more or less a collaboration. I want to collaborate with you on everything… from professional, to personal. That’s what being a team is, and that’s the work you’ve shown me.

“After Brad barged in with that paperwork, I thought everything was figured out… but I couldn’t neglect the fact that I had reasoned with myself, and chose you . Not just as a boyfriend, but a life long partner. Brad had to remind me of a few things, like what things were meant to be decided with my mental… and what other matters are better left for the heart.”

Alex listened, allowing me the space to speak freely.

“I’ve also taken into account the fact that we are literally standing in the venue of your dreams, filled with flowers you’ve fallen in love with, and people you care about- excluding the motherfuckers out there that we haven’t seen a day before in our lives, of course. I can think of no better moment to seal the deal the deal with someone I love. Especially when it’s on Yakiv’s dime.” I added.

That last part made Alex smile.

“I-” he started, then paused a moment. He mirrored the level of stunned he was when he were speaking earlier. “I want nothing more than to spend the rest of the time I’ve got here on this forsaken planet, with you. Though I’ve definitely worked on the crippling self doubt, I can’t help but think about the possibility of us rushing into it. What if this- us doesn’t work out?” He asked.

“But what if it does?” I countered, asking Alex. “I can’t promise you five years down the line, you won’t want to shoot me dead. Hell, I can’t even promise you we’ll get to five years. What I can promise, is that I’ll do something I never thought I’d do in a relationship before. I’ll fucking try . I’ll try so damn hard, you’ll have to make a PowerPoint presentation on the reasons we gotta call this quits, then after that, I’ll still ask for some cited sources.”

That made Alex’s smile widen, which in return, made my heart beat all the harder.

“From what I hear, we’ve got a room full of impatient guests expecting a wedding, and a marriage officiant who’s on the clock, so I’ll have to rush us through this here.” I said, moving closer towards Alex. I watched his eyes follow every single move as I slowly dropped to one knee. “Alexander Hamilton, I don’t have a ring that’ll fit your finger tonight, but I’m sure you know how quickly I could get one. For now, will you accept this verbal promise of commitment, and do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage?”

••

38

Did I say one chapter left?

Surprise! Here’s two.

Alex

My eyes were starting to well with tears from what Christian had said.

About us being a team.

It made me feel that same intense warm feeling I felt, when Christian had added my name to our presentation in New York.

With all the work this man had on his plate, one thing he never failed to make me feel, is heard. Seen. Understood . It felt like he had given me the voice and courage I didn’t know I was longing so desperately for.

He forced me to understand what conditional love looked like in my life, and how to exercise those boundaries with loved ones, regardless of who those loved ones were. I understood now that my energy, much like everything else that existed, had its limits. Giving till I had nothing for me to fall back on, was the definition of self harm and self destruction.

It took a man with some goddamn anger issues himself, to show me that.

The one thing Christian never failed to do was stand up for himself and the people he cared about. For a man who loved to push boundaries, he had some seriously solid ones surrounding his life. I, on the other hand, hadn’t been as assertive. Though I may have helped Christian cope with his intense emotions better, he had help my cope with my own.

I always thought that if a man with anger issues, and another with alcoholism, walked into a bar… someone must be setting up the punchline for a joke. Never in a million years would I have thought husband material from either side.

I allowed myself to think back to that moment on the beach again. A moment I would possibly never forget, due to the complete rawness from Christian’s words.

This man had truly meant everything he said, about constantly working to show me how much he loved me. For a person who saw just how much weight went into the Ivanov’s word, I had really allowed myself moments of doubt. I silently chastised myself for doing that, because Christian never doubted me. In fact, he put the most trust in me.

If one man had shown me consistently that he would go to the ends of the earth to bring even the slightest smile to my face, it was this man right here. What I was willing and finally ready to promise to him, was that I’d match that energy till death, or falling out of love, did us part.

As soon as Christian dropped to one knee and said those words, it was nothing less than an immediate response with a “ yes .“ I hadn’t even allowed me time to fully process what this meant for us at the moment, because Christian was right.

Nothing we had right now was guaranteed. Nothing was promised. He was right in sense where the only promises we could make to each other, were that we’d wake up each day and give it our best shot. That we loved each other enough to give this relationship that.

As soon as those words fell past my lips, the biggest smile spread across Christian’s face. It exemplified every smile line, every dimple. Those perfect pearly whites paired incomparably with that pair of exhilarating blue eyes… I’d have to be blind, deaf, and downright stupid to say no to a man like this.

He was off his knees in an instant, wasting no time to pull me in for for one intense, passionate, yet brief kiss.

My heart had forgotten how to beat correctly since this day fucking started. Now, I was sure she ceased to exist completely. I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t fallen over yet, honestly.

“I was quite serious about us moving quickly though. I don’t want to rush you, but this venue won’t be ours forever.” Christian reminded me.

I gave him a nod. “I’m still at a loss for words with how beautiful it all looked.”

The venue was truly a work of art. Even more gorgeous than I imagined.

“Apparently Roslana wasn’t a fan of any of this.” I explained. “She spoke to me about what her ideal ceremony would be if she was to get married, and it consisted of just her and her lover. No cake. No flowers. No guests. Just pure intimacy. I guess what’s why she went with the flowers she saw I’d taken a liking to, instead of the ones Yakiv picked. She even switched out the cake to chocolate, even though she didn’t care for it.”

Christians eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. “I’m sure that was her way of telling Yakiv to fuck right on off. A serious round of applause is due for her taking all the control she could, amidst a situation where control didn’t seem optional.”

I couldn’t help but nod at that, as I let Christian lead me back out into the the main hall. The nerves I was feeling just seconds ago, were amplified with every step we took.

Once we both entered the main hall again, all side conversations sort of die out, as each person turned to look our way. The breath I released was the shakiest thing to fall past my lips in years.

Christian did something I didn’t see coming. He slipped his hand into mine, and casually walked us down the isle, towards where his mother was. I could see that Brad, Joan and Derek had accompanied her, but Yakiv and Slav were still nowhere to be seen.

Brad had the largest grin on his face when his eyes found Christian’s, then glanced down to our conjoined hands. This led me to believe that he knew what was about to happen.

That made me wonder exactly what he and Christian had talked about. Clearly, it had had something to do with Yakiv and whatever dirt they pulled on him, to call off the wedding… but with a smile as genuine as the one Brad was giving me, I knew there was more.

That was a conversation we’d just have to save for after I became Alexander Ivanov, because I wasn’t about to postpone this any longer.

“Looks like you two reached some sort of conclusion.” Brad noted, as we approached. His voice was hushed, most likely in an attempt to keep this exchange of words private. Regardless, you could see the few guests seated close by, who were straining their ears to listen in.

“What’s going on, Christian? Your father let me know that the wedding was postponed, but Brad told us to hang tight until you returned.” Ana spoke next. Christian gave them both a nod.

“I’ve decided to marry Alex.” He replied with ease. He’d made a decision like this seem casual. Sane almost.

Brads expression didn’t falter in the slightest. He clearly knew Christian was going to follow through with this. Derek and Joan however? Not so much. I heard the ear deafening squeal release from the both of them, that only assisted in drawing even more attention to ourselves. It looked like one of them was about to have another outburst, but Ana cut in before they could. The expression she had, made it seem like her eyes were about to pop out of her damn sockets.

“This isn’t- this isn’t your fathers doing is it?” She asked.

Christian was quick to shake his head no. “Slav is handling that with Yakiv as a separate matter entirely. I just decided that this was what I wanted. Plus, you guys are here and it’s practically free ninety-nine.” He added.

“What about Slav? Or Alex’s mother?” Ana continued. “Slav would kill you if you did this without him here. You know how much of a helpless romantic that man is.”

Before either of us could reply, the main doors were opened again. This time, Slav was the only one to walk in. Some eyes tore themselves away from us, to watch as he made his way towards the front.

“Is it settled?” Christian asked him.

Slav gave one firm nod. “Him and Roslana will be leaving shortly.”

“Great,” Christian sighed, “cause I’m marrying Alex.”

The look on Slav’s face directly mirrored the one on Ana’s. Before he could give us his two cents, someone finally grew the balls to approach this family about the wait. It was the minister himself.

“I must ask what all this commotion is about. Is this wedding happening? Is it not happening?” He questioned. Surprisingly, he had a very thick accent. It sounded like Slav’s but a little older- which accurately represented the age he seemed to carry.

“The wedding is on, but I’m marrying my boyfriend here, Alex.” Christian gestured to me. His hand never once left mine, regardless of the sweatiness from my palms.

“Boyfriend?” The priest asked, shaking his head. “I didn’t agree to marry two men. This isn’t a marriage, it’s a mutation.”

The first three people to react to that, just so happened to be the largest three men in the room. “What the fuck did you just say? “ Christian sneered his way. I felt like he was about to let o of my hand, to free his up for other reasons… and that just forced my grip to tighten.

“I know those foul words didn’t just leave your mouth.” Slav added, and Ana had to physically hold him back because he looked like he was ready to go for the jugular.

“Who is your representation? I would like to personally speak to the company you specifically work under, to better understand the bottom of which barrel they’re scraping to get their ministers from.” Brad added, and even his threat made the hairs all over my body stand at attention. Joan placed a gentle yet firm hand on his shoulder. Though I hadn’t seen Brad fight before, everything was screaming that he had that shit in him.

The one person I knew who had hands was Joan, and I could see that fire start to bubble within her. Another word from this priest and she was going to jail. I was sure of it.

Surprisingly, it was Derek who managed to calm this situation down. Of course, he did so in the most Derek way possible.

“Then pack your shit up and leave, you old hag.” Derek snapped back. “Nobody wanted your archaic self joining these two in holy matrimony anyways, with those potential child molesting hands.” Everyone whipped their head in Derek’s direction.

“Derek, what the complete fuck-” Joan started, but Derek did something he seldom ever did. He cut her off.

“I just so happen to be a wedding officiant. This was granted to me by the state of California through a… questionable website at best, and I may or may not need to google some of the details, but you bet your ass I’ll marry you two.”

••

39

Okay now this is the last chapter,

I swear.

Stay tuned till the end for my little emotional ass paragraph.

Alex

I wasn’t quite sure how to take that information.

Not a soul staring Derek down at the moment, really did.

It was the priest’s less than happy grunt, that surprising broke up the tension. In an effort to hold onto what I’m sure was the last few years of life he had left, the priest said nothing as he gathered his belongings from the nearby chair, and walked out.

“I guess that settles things?” Joan asked. Derek was already taking his rightful spot on stage at the front of the venue.

“That does still leave the question of your mother.” Christian spoke to me. I slowly gave him a nod.

While I wanted nothing more than to have my mother here. To have my mother give me away… I knew that her battles with addiction was still real. This place had an open bar, tap beer, all the works.

“I don’t think this would be the best place for her right now, but I know she’d love a recording if you could maybe capture it for me, Joan?” I asked my gorgeous best friend.

“Of course, sweetheart. Give me all the phones and I’ll make sure to get something perfect, captured.” She replied with a smile that honestly mirrored the giddy ass emotions running through my body right now. I handed her my cell, and Christian handed her his as well. Odds were, his newest model was going to take the better pictures.

Derek was already pulling up a sample script on his phone, and Christian turned to address the remaining guests that hadn’t dwindled out already. “Today, there will be a slight change of plans. I know you were all invited here to witnessed the conjoining of two families. I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused, but you won’t be seeing Roslana and I join hands in marriage this evening.

“For reasons beknown to both families involved, we have decided not to follow through with this union. Instead, I will be marrying my partner Alexander Hamilton.” Christian gestured towards me. “If anyone here has objections to this marriage, I am more than willing to give stellar directions to where the exit doors are, right over there.” Christian pointed the glass entrance.

I watched as three people towards the back, gathered their things to leave. That left just a handful of guests, considering how intimate the original wedding already was.

“And please keep this in mind, for anyone here who does current relations with Ivanov Corp, and has chosen to stay… you’ve made the decision to accept the love I choose. You can retract that decision at any moment, but if I hear so much as a whisper of slander against my soon to be husband, my family, or this company, consider that an immediate retraction, and consider any future opportunities both explorative or not, completely off the table.” Christian finished.

Everyone remaining, including myself, was stunned into silence.

“That being said,” Christian took a deep breath, “let’s get on with this. Are you ready Derek?” He asked, as he slid his hand back into mine and walked us over to the staged area. I still couldn’t get comprehend how downright beautiful the entire setup was, as the exposed ceiling above caught my eye.

“Ready as I will literally ever be.” He joked, then cleared his throat. “First, I’d like to begin by welcoming everyone, and thank everyone for being here on this most happiest of days.” Derek was reading everything word for word from his phone, but I could tell he was really trying to put some emotion into it. “It’s no accident that each of you are here today, and each of you were invited here today. You all represent the most memorable memories in-” Derek cut himself short a moment, looking at his phone screen. It looks like he was finally reading ahead. “Yeahhh let me scratch that… and that. Okay, that doesn’t make any sense either, given the circumstances-”

“Derek!” Christian cut in almost immediately.

“Right sorry, this is just- you know, I’m going to wing it.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good-” Christian and I both started to say, but Derek was already free reign at that point.

“We are gathered here to see my boss, one Christian Ivanov, join hands in marriage with one of my long time best friends, Alexander Hamilton. Though I haven’t witnessed these two paired for long, what they have gone through these last few months have only further solidified the love and appreciation there. I truly do feel honored to stand before them, in however fashion, and get to be apart of something this special-”

Derek wasn’t actually doing all that bad, but when he paused again, I thought that maybe he was still reading from his phone. Once I glanced his way, I could see that he was staring straight down the aisle at something else… or rather someone else .

It was a woman, an older looking woman, who was standing at the entrance in a tight black pencil skirt, paired with a sharp grey blazer. Two larger men stood on either side of her, looking about as intimidating as they possibly could. They were dressed head to toe in all black.

“Have you two already said meaningful lovey dovey shit to each other, before this?” Derek suddenly whispered to both Christian, and myself.

“I-” Christian sort of started to say something, but I could see how confused he was. Hell, how confused we all were. “I-I mean, I guess, but-”

“Great.” Derek nodded, addressing the guests once again. “And so,” he announced, straightening his god awful mustache. “Due to the interest of time, we will be skipping over the exchanging of vows. Let’s just do a little fast forward to the good parts. Do you, Christian Ivanov, take Alexander Hamilton to be your husband? Do you promise to love and to hold-”

We watched as this same woman moved from the entrance, to the back of the room now. Her arms were crossed tight over each other, as a scornful frown threatened to never leave her lips. I think I was starting to figure out what was happening.

“To never sue, or bring campingagain, andallthatshit.” Derek rushed out that last part so quickly, I wasn’t sure Christian and I even heard it right. The silence on Christian’s end almost made me sure he didn’t. “Come on big boy, this is your time to shine. Let me hear those two words.” Derek added hastily.

“I.. do?” Christian more or less asked.

“And do you, Alexander Hamilton, take Christian Ivanovtobeyourhusband? Tocherish,hold,fuck,whateverthefuck.”

Now Derek was full on losing it. I had absolutely no idea what gibberish he said, as I watched him slip his phone into his pocket. Then he bent down and started to undo his laces.

“I- I do.” I replied, unsure on whether or not I really should have. “Derek, what the hell-”

“There aren’t any rings so this saves me time.” He whispered to himself, cutting me short. I watch him slip his shoes off into his hands, then tie the laces together. “And with the power invested in me by the state of California and getmarriednow.net,” he continued, glancing up to give both me and Christian the most maniac looking smile I’ve probably ever seen. “It is my honor to declare you husband and husband. You may now tongue wrestle.”

And that was the very last thing Derek said to us, before he leaped off the center stage and bolted down the fucking aisle. It was the security guys who sprinted into action, trying to tackle him. At the last moment, Derek jump on top of, then over a few empty chairs, and zoomed out the entrance with speeds I had never witnessed before.

We watched both this manager and her security personals literally chase Derek out the glass double doors. Every last guest in this room looked downright confused. They didn’t have time to process the fact that Derek was now evading security, because Joan’s voice cut through the silence like a megaphone.

“Kiss!” She shouted. When I looked over in her direction, she was jerking her head at the multiple phones she was still using to record this mess.

It was her complete disregard for Derek, that would of had me on the floor laughing, if we weren’t currently surrounded by Christian’s family and Ivanov Corp investors.

Christian and I hesitantly turned back towards each other. I was going to say something, but the grin which crept its way across his lips, said everything.

Kiss me .

I stood up on the tips of my toes and pressed my lips gently against his. His hand instinctively went to the nape of my neck. As he held me against him. I forced myself to gradually pull away, refusing to give Christian’s parents and our investors, a show they did not need to see.

The claps started out slow from what I could only assume as a mix of complete confusion. They had just seen our marriage officiant flee the scene, after all.. but a steady applause soon rang through the room.

It was an innocent kiss we had shared, eluding to the not so innocent things I was about to do to this man once we were alone.

“I’m pretty sure Derek is getting arrested right now.” Christian whispered, just inches away from me. It was impossible to not get lost in those deep, endless blue eyes. “Do you think we should go deal with that? Or…”

I offered a sly grin. “If I’m being honest with you… I don’t think he’d give a shit what time we bailed him out, if we brought back some of this  chocolate cake.”

Christian’s smile widened, and he bent down to capture my lips with his once more. “Then let’s enjoy this a little longer.” He mumbled against me. That caused my heart to flutter.

This feeling wasn’t cardiac arrest, like I originally thought. I was now convinced these flutters were her way of showing me signs of life.

Fin

••

Oh my god, where do I even fucking begin.

Let’s start by saying thank you.

Thank you to every single goddamn soul that picked this book up from the start, and followed with me to the very end.

I can’t tell you all how incredibly grateful I am… but I’ll try to, every chance I get.

As always, y’all know this is never the end.

I’ve got stuff cooking up for you guys, but I’m going to give myself till March 1st to completely perfect it.

Many sleepless nights have gone into what I’m working on, yet it’s you readers that truly do make all of that more than worth it.

I hope you guys loved this one, just as much as I did.

Till we meet again, eh?

xoxo

New Book Alert!: Derek

This story starts out with me in jail… and ends with me in jail.

But that’s sort of suitable for a story about myself, is it not?

This is more or less a telling of me falling in love with a man I gravely didn’t deserve, and him changing my life indefinitely. Go f*ck yourself, John Terry (respectfully, of course).

*A spin-off sequel to The CEO’s Trilogy

Out now!!

I just realized I never updated the final book of the original trilogy with this piece of information, but YESS Derek has a spin-off y’all, and as I’m typing this we’re about twenty-something chapters in deep, so go give it a try if you’d like! I’m updating that one like crazy right now.

Hope to see all you beautiful souls there,

xoxo

Wambui