The Charming Beast

The Charming Beast

darkpelt wolftales

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Kaspian Bryce Fletcher is destined to live in a small, mysterious town embraced by cold secrets. His father sacrificed the custody of him and it made Bryce venture the world beyond the concrete jungle. Marami siyang mga naranasan dito sa unang pagkakataon – and the most special one is his first cherished boyfriend.

It was love that put him into the place where he belongs. He was convinced that his life aligns as intended. Pero lingid sa kaalaman niya, hindi ito ang buhay na itinakda para sa kaniya. The moon has planned everything for him. It will guide him in the best direction among all paths shaped by love. He will soon to realize that his first boyfriend wouldn’t be his last after all.

In the middle of the cold forest, someone is waiting for him. A charming man that transforms into a beast – the one who will forever be committed to Bryce. It was the love of his life. The real one. His ultimate protector. His eternity. His mate .

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This novel explores LGBT themes, especially relationships between men, and contains explicit intimate scenes.

All characters, events, organizations and places described in this book are purely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or location is purely coincidental.

Please note that this work is intended for mature audiences. Reader’s discretion is advised.

Important Disclaimer : This novel features a storyline where the main character initially engages in a romantic relationship with another man before transitioning to the main lead later in the plot. Readers should be aware of the evolving romantic dynamics between the characters as they progress through the story.

Gallery

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Bryce

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Vinson

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Alejo

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Hector

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Brock

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n o t e

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Hi! I am the one who drew their faces. I’m not an expert when it comes to making art, but I tried my best give you the most accurate depictions of their appearances and aesthetics. It know it looks trash – for now, kasi baka mapalitan din ’yan kapag may mas maganda na akong mairereplace. Yun lang, and enjoy reading!

Panimula

Panimula

“Go away!” sigaw ko sabay tulak sa kaniya.

“That’s what I get from saving you, huh? Not even a single thanks?”

It is already late in the afternoon. I just woke up in my porch, with Vinson, wearing nothing but his boxers. He’s already dry. For sure, matagal na siyang nakaahon sa tubig at kanina pa niya ako binabantayan habang natutulog ako.

It’s my birthday. I invited my friends at my place, because there’s a lake in front of my house. We swam together, and I almost drowned to death. They were able to save me, pero nawalan ako ng malay.

Ngayong gising na ako, wala na ang iba naming mga kasama. Lahat sila ay umuwi na. Hindi pa nakakauwi si Mama galing sa trabaho niya, kaya kaming dalawa lang ni Vinson ang nandito sa bahay ko.

I despise everything about him: his captivating face, his enticing eyes, the sight of his imposing figure. His aloofness, his silence—they all infuriate me.

I know he’s mad that I rejected him, and he doesn’t want to talk to me the way we used to. Lumamig na ang pakikitungo niya. Pero kahit ganun ay kapansin-pansin sa kaniyang mga titig na patuloy pa rin siya sa pagbibigay ng motibo sa akin.

Hindi ko maintindihan ang aking sarili, dahil habang tumatagal ay hindi ko na mapigilan ang nararamdaman ko. He needs to completely stop because I can’t help myself from giving in. This is not right.

“You kissed me,” I pointed out.

“That’s not a kiss, Bryce! CPR and tawag do’n. I did that to save your life.”

“May boyfriend ako.”

He gave me a confused look.

“So I should’ve let you die because we shouldn’t put our lips together?… Come on, Bryce. Mag-isip ka ng maayos. I didn’t do it to steal you away from your boyfriend. It’s for your life’s sake. Bakit ka ba nagagalit sa’kin?”

“I’m not mad, Vin. You are! Alam kong galit ka sa’kin kaya dinala mo si Monique kanina para pagselosan ko. That damn slut. Akala mo ba epektibo ’yon, huh? Your desperate move is not gonna work for me.”

Natahimik siya sandali, hanggang sa dahan-dahang gumuhit ang ngisi sa kaniyang labi.

“Really, Bryce? I thought you invited her because she’s one of your friends.”

“Of course not! She’s a brat. Lumalapit lang siya dahil may gusto siya sa’yo. She even told me that she’s looking forward to marry you someday. I don’t care, actually… but she pisses me off.”

I can see the amusement in his face. Mas lalo akong nairita. Bakit? Natutuwa ba siya kapag nakikita akong naiinis?

“Hindi ko siya pinapunta. She asked me if it’s okay to join us,” paliwanag niya.

“Tapos, pumayag ka. That means, you made her go here.”

It made him smirk even more.

“Wala kang dapat ikainis. I’m not going to marry her. I already told you, right? I’m just waiting for someone.”

Tumingin ako sa mga mata niya. Pakiramdam ko ay isang malaking pagkakamali na ginawa ko ’yon, dahil nakita ko ang nag-uumapaw niyang pag-asa.

“W-Who is it, then?”

“Ikaw, Bryce… It’s always been you.”

My heart stopped for a moment, and I even skipped a breath.

“Hindi mo na kailangang maghintay, Vinson. I already have someone in my life. You should forget what you feel about me and look for someone else.”

“I know. What I feel is completely wrong. Pero hindi mo maiintidihan ang sitwasyon ko, Bryce. I will always be yours no matter what, kahit alam kong hindi ka mapapasa’kin. You are my destiny, and I’m bound to you forever.”

I creased my brow.

“What do you mean, Vinson?”

I don’t get it. Gaano ba katindi ang pagkagusto niya sa’kin?

Dahan-dahan siyang lumapit sa akin. Umaatras naman ako hanggang sa napasandal ako sa railings.

“Kung siya yung pipiliin mo, then that’s fine with me. I don’t care if you’re going to break my heart, as long as you’re happy. Tatanggapin ko. I just want a little favor, Bryce.”

I’m speechless. Wala akong maisip na dapat sabihin. My mind tells me to run away and not give him the favor that he wants, but my heart tells me to stay and listen to him.

I cleared my throat.

“What favor?”

“Just one kiss,” aniya.

“You’ve done that, already.”

He chuckled then licked his lips. Napaiwas ako ng tingin.

“That’s not a kiss, Bryce. It is completely different. I want to put my lips on you, passionately.”

Hindi ako makapagsalita.

“After that, I’m going to back off. I’ll stay away from you and let you be happy with your boyfriend… I just want a real kiss, for the first and one time only.”

Tumango lang ako at pumikit. May parte sa akin na gustong bumigay, kaya wala akong ibang maisip kun’di pagbigyan nalang siya. My heart is pounding inside my chest, and I can’t calm it down.

Fuck, what’s wrong with me?

I waited for him… Then I felt his soft lips touched mine. It sparked my guts. He pulled my nape to give me a deeper kiss, and I just let him consume me intensely while putting my hands on his warm bare chest.

Kabanata 1

Kabanata 1

New Home

I didn’t have enough time to say goodbye to the cruel lights of the city where I grew up. Buong akala ko, dito na ako tatanda at mamamatay. Living in a medium-sized apartment with my father and stepmother doesn’t feel like home, anymore.

For years, I watched my father being buried in his own disappointments with business failures and unemployment. While, Sara, my nonbiological mother, stayed with him through tough times. She consoles him whenever he’s downhearted. Which gives me no time to offer comfort to him as a son.

I just turned eighteen a few months ago. Ginawan na ako agad ni Papa ng bank account.

“That’s all I can give you, Bryce. Pero huwag kang mag-alala. Hahanap ako ng paraan para dagdagan ang budget mo. I would still support you financially kahit malayo ako sa’yo,” he said with bloodshot eyes. I know, he cried again last night. He doesn’t want to give me away to my real mother who’s been absent in my life for long years.

Wala siyang ibang choice kun’di ibigay sa aking ina ang responsibilidad na pag-aalaga sa’kin. I felt bitter, but I have nothing to complain for. He’s broken and he needs to fix himself.

Makikipagsapalaran siya sa ibang lugar. Maghahanap ng trabaho, o magtatayo ng negosyo. It’s up to him. Ayokong magbigay ng payo bilang anak. Natatakot ako na baka isisi niya sa’kin ang kaniyang pagkabigo kapag pinakinggan niya ang suhestyon ko.

I hope, his ambitions wouldn’t kill him. At sana, kapag naging matagumpay siya, maging maayos na dapat ang kaniyang mentalidad at maisip niya na balikan ako.

I don’t like the way he is, but he is still my father. I would love him no matter what.

“You sure, it’s okay for you to go alone?” tanong sa akin ni Sara. Yes, I’m still not calling him my mother. Because she’s not, obviously. “Gusto kang ihatid ng Papa mo.”

“Nah… Kaya ko na ’to,” I said, surely. “Besides, kaunti lang naman ang mga dala ko.”

I don’t want my biological parents to see each other. I’m afraid it would trigger a horrible distress to my father.

I bid my goodbye to them as I walked away with my backpack and suitcase. They’re heavy, but I have to act as if I could carry these things for hours, because I don’t want them to insist me to drop me off to my mother’s place. I can totally do it on my own, carrying a small piece of paper with her written address.

That night, I’m being blinded by the lights of the city, but I kept on watching them while riding on a taxi.

This place is a center of progress, and it changed the lives of many people. But it never changed me much. It feels like a dystopian world where I am stuck and I’ve been longing to break free – but now I did.

𓃥

After the long taxi ride, I went to the nearest train station. It didn’t took too much long to get to this rural town I am heading. The place is cold. People are wearing jackets and thick clothes. A lot of huge pine tress everywhere. There is only a few small buildings here, and in the distance.

So… this is the town of Darkpelt, huh? For a moment I felt like I’m living in a Twilight movie.

I left this place when I was three years old. I can’t remember anything about it. But I wish I can recollect some memories, para maging pamilyar na sa’kin ang lugar na titirhan ko.

Pumunta ako sa pinakamalapit na convenience store upang magmiryenda. A frozen kani salad sandwich to be heated up in a microwave oven and a cultured milk. Okay na siguro ’to.

Naglalakad na ako papuntang counter, but there’s a guy bumped into me. Nahawakan kong maigi ang aking pagkain, pero nabitawan ng lalaki ang hawak niyang canned iced coffee. The tin broke, as the liquid spilled on the floor.

“Fuck!” the guy cursed.

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“You messed up my drink,” mariin niyang sabi. I was confused for a second. Seriously, siya nga ang talagang nakabangga sa akin.

Then we looked at each other’s eyes. By the look of his expression, it’s like his world stopped for a moment. Nagtaas ako ng kilay nung nakita ang gulat sa kaniya mukha. His ocean blue eyes widened, and his mouth fell open a bit.

For a brief moment, there is something I can’t help but notice about him– he smells musky. Not a perfume type of musky… more like the natural scent you could smell from the earth of the forest. Close to petrichor.

Then he just walked away and never looked back like nothing happened.

That’s strange. This town is starting to have a weird impression for me.

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Moments later, I’ve reached the muddy part of the road. Kailangan ko nang maglakad dahil wala namang taxi ang dumadaan dito sa lugar na ’to.

Gumagamit na ako ng google maps para hindi ako maligaw. According to this app, almost seventy percent of this town is covered with trees and a lake. There is a rural downtown area not far away.

There is a house near the lake, a white one with a porch.

That must be the house I would consider my new home.

I gently knocked at the door. Pinagbuksan ako ng isang babae na nakasuot ng apron.

“Bryce?” she asked. She’s expecting for me.

I just smiled and nodded. She immediately hugged me with her small body, then reached out for my face to give me kisses on the cheeks.

“Na-miss kita, anak. Sobra!” she said with teary eyes.

Her ginger hair and green eyes tells clearly that I am like a carbon copy of her– that I carry her genes. That I am his son, and she’s my mother.

I remember, her name is Bethany Kirkson. Tinanggal niya ang apelyido ni Papa sa pangalan niya.

She dragged me and my suitcase in. It smells thanksgiving inside. As expected, maraming pagkain ang nakalatag sa hapag ng dining area. There is even a huge roasted turkey in the middle. Birthday ko ba ngayon?

“Your room is upstairs, but before you go there, kumain ka muna,” aniya at hinila ako papuntang mesa.

There is no way I could finish all of these. Perhaps I should invite the whole neighborhood and call it a feast.

Kabanata 2

Kabanata 2

Caught in the Act

(Warning: Slight SPG)

“I’m fine. Wala kang dapat ipag-alala,” sabi ko habang kausap sa phone si Papa.

Tumawag siya sa’kin para ipaalam na nakalipat na sila ng apartment ni Sara sa ibang lugar. He’s also applying for a job in an office. I think that’s a good start for him.

“Just tell if you want anything. Tawagan mo ’ko, anytime,” aniya pagkatapos kong sabihin ang naging impresyon ko so far sa lugar na ’to. “Take care of yourself, Bryce.”

Naputol ang linya na may pag-aalala pa rin sa akin. Hindi ako sanay na mawalay sa kaniya. I really do hope that he would find success in that place, someday.

There is a lot of time that my mother is out for work. Solo ko ang buong bahay at malaya ako na gawin ang gusto ko.

Kanina ko lang nadiskubre na may hardin pala ng mga gulay sa likod ng bahay. I’ve always been wanting to have a garden, but the polluted air and the absence of open space in the city tells me that I don’t deserve to have one. Pero ngayon, finally, mararanasan ko nang mag-alaga ng mga halaman.

Madalas sa paggising ko, nakahanda na ang mga pagkain sa dining area. Samu’t sari. Sa dami nito, siguradong sapat na talaga hanggang hapunan.

I’m feeling bored right now. I want to go outside and do something. Pakiramdam ko ay kabisado ko na ang bawat sulok ng bahay kakaikot kaya nais ko namang lumabas.

There is no need for me to go to the convenience store I went before. I already have enough food here inside my house for the whole day.

Isa pa, baka makita ko ulit doon yung lalaking nakabangga ko at sungitan ako dahil pinagbibintangan niya na ako ang may kasalanan sa nangyari. Maliit lang ang bayan na ’to, imposibleng hindi kami magkikita ulit.

Magpapahangin nalang ako saglit.

I locked the house and kept the keys on my pocket. There is a chilling air in my surroundings, and strangely, I felt very satisfied. Maybe because a huge part of me tells that this place used to be my childhood – so peaceful and quiet. Malayung-malayo sa kinagisnan kong kapaligiran sa syudad. All I can hear is the birds and the wind that blows against the trees. A calming nature’s song. This place is perfect for me.

The lake is such a beautiful view. I want to take some photos of it, but I forgot my phone inside my house. Too bad.

Dahil sa kuryosidad, sinubukan ko na ring libutin ang kakahuyan. There are mushrooms and moss everywere, and little ponds of stagnant water. It looks mystical and fascinating. It feels good to be connected with nature.

May narinig akong kumaluskos sa hindi kalayuan. And me, who reads a lot of fantasy novels, hopes that it is fairy or any other mythical beings roaming around somewhere in this forest, and I could get a glimpse of them.

Nagpatuloy pa ako sa paglalakad. Then, I saw a guy pinning a girl on a tree with his hand crawling inside her skirt. They’re kissing aggressively. The girl is also trying to reach out to the guys pants, pero malikot siya. He is giving her a hard time.

Napangiwi ako sa nasaksihan. This is not the type of scene that I am expecting to see.

Napahinto sila sa kanilang ginagawa nung naramdaman nila ang presensya ko. The guy looked at me with a shocked face. Nagulat din ako nung narecognize ko ang hitsura niya. Pitch black hair with blue eyes. Tall and buff. Drop dead handsome – well, I think there’s no need to mention that!

Siya mismo yung lalaki na nakabangga ko kanina sa covenience store. God, what an awkward way to see him again!

Agad ko silang tinalikuran.

“It’s okay. Ipagpatuloy niyo lang yan!” sigaw ko at naglakad palayo.

I think that’s one of funniest thing I’ve seen so far in this town. What I said is also the best response if you caught two people trying to have sex in a place they shouldn’t. I wonder, kung itutuloy pa ba nila ito ngayong nahuli ko sila sa akto.

Yeah, very funny.

𓃥

When I got home, I am feeling something weird. May init na umaapoy at kumakalat sa aking balat.

I rushed upstairs and went to my room. Tumingin ako sa salamin at wala akong napansing kakaiba kun’di ang pamumula ng aking pisngi. And then I looked down at my shorts and saw a bulging boner.

Really? I got hard just by witnessing a live porn right in front of me?… Well, para na rin siyang porn, even though I never seen them fucked each other.

I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I sat down and started touching myself. I rarely masturbate, because I don’t usually get horny, but it has to be done right now. I want to jerk this feeling off from my body.

Surprisingly, when I reached my climax, my come splurted in my clothes.

“Ah, shit!” I cussed.

There is a lot of it and it stinks in my bedroom. Hinubad ko na ang aking suot at nagpalit ng damit. Nilabhan ko ito gamit ang washing machine na may dryer para matuyo agad. I don’t want to let it sit on the basket and let my room smell like dried sperm. That’s disgusting.

𓃥

“May college malapit dito, Bryce. Which would be very convenient for you. Public pero medyo mahal nga lang mag-aral do’n,” sabi ni Mama nung nagday-off siya. Sabay kami ngayong kumakain ng tanghalian. “But as far as I know, nag-ooffer sila ng scholarship kapag naging topnotcher ka sa exam.”

Nakinig lang ako sa kaniya. I want to get that scholarship, although parang malabo para sa’kin.

I am already expecting that college is very different from high school. Kahit sa entrance exam palang ay sobrang hirap na. Maraming ubod ng talinong estudyante ang pipiliin sa iba’t ibang panig ng bansa. It would be very hard to compete against my fellow exam takers.

“Malapit lang ’yun dito. It’s name is Darkpelt College, and it is an excellent school,” aniya habang nagpapatuloy lang kami sa pagkain.

𓃥

Thank God my mother owns a WiFi router. Mayroon akong access sa internet, kahit papaano.

It is quite unbelievable that there is a prestigious college inside this rural town. There are castle-like buildings that constructed centruries ago, and students that are children of prominent people. Unusual but real.

Darkpelt College. Even its name sounds a bit fancy.

I did a lot of backround research about the school. It turns out that there is a filthy rich family who lives nearby that keeps on funding the school. May-ari ng isang mining company at manufacturer ng industrial supplies. Their facilities were hundreds of miles away from here, but they chose to live in this small town. Hindi ako makakuha ng impormasyon kung saan sila eksaktong nakatira at kung ano ang hitsura ng bahay nila. I think they made it confidential.

Kahit din ang pagkakakilanlan ng mga miyembro ng pamilya nila ay hindi makikita sa internet. Wala silang litrato. They are completely hidden from the public eye.

This town is getting more interesting, day-by-day. I wonder why a very rich family like them stayed in this place. Is there something about this town that they can’t live without?

Kabanata 3

Kabanata 3

Omelette

A cold rain is pouring outside. My mother is inviting me to have a dinner in her place. At exactly 6 p.m, I stacked up all of my books in my desk neatly and turned off my lamp shade.

Susunduin niya sana ako, but I refused her to do that. I can walk alone in downtown streets with a small knife in my pocket in case someone try to get on me.

Nakasuot ako ng shirt sa ilalim ng makapal na jacket with a simple pants. Near intersection, there is a place called ‘Fletcher’s Diner’. Strange. I wonder if my mother had any thoughts to change the name since she’s already been divorced with my father. But who am I to care, right?

Pagpunta ko sa loob, sinarado ko na ang aking payong at nilagay sa tabi. The diner is small and cozy. Only a few people were eating.

May waiter na biglang sumalubong sa akin.

“Table for one, Sir?”

Umiling ako.

“No… Sa counter ako uupo,” sagot ko.

“Alright,” aniya. He smiled and winked at me.

That’s a bit weird.

He followed me as I went to the counter. With his writing pen and mini notebook. There is a menu waiting to be picked up in the counter table.

“So… What can I get for you?”

I scanned the whole menu. A lot of these dishes were something I can get to any fast food chains out there. Nothing really piqued my interest, except for one.

“Omelette rice,” sagot ko.

Nagtaas ang isang kilay niya.

“You sure? Pang-umagahan ang pagkaing ’yon. Gabi na,” aniya.

Binitawan ko ang menu sa harap niya.

“I know, but last time I checked, nagpunta ako dito as a customer. I suppose to get what I want,” sabi ko with a sarcastic smile.

He chuckled.

“Fine. Omelette rice is coming right up!” he said and wrote it down before he went to the kitchen.

Then, a few moments later, I saw my mother came out from the kitchen.

“Bryce, you came!” she said as she went to me to hold both of my shoulders and give a kiss on my cheek. “Kanina pa kita hinihintay. Ipapakilala sana kita sa mga empleyado ko.”

I instantly shook my head.

“Huwag na, Ma. Nandito ako para kumain,” sabi ko. I have no time to know the names of people who works for her. There is a high chance that I would only forget all of them.

“Okay, fine. Umorder ka na?”

“Yup.”

“Sige, sasabihin ko nalang sa waiter namin na libre yung kakainin mo. Umorder ka kahit gaano pa karami. Ako nang bahala, okay?” she said and smiled sweetly.

Tumango lang ako at ngumiti pabalik.

“Here’s your omelette rice with drinks,” sabi ng waiter sa kaniyang pagbalik at nilapag ang pagkaing ni-request ko.

“Huh? Iyan lang yung kinuha mo?” tanong ni Mama.

“Yeah… It’s fine. Hindi naman ako masyadong gutom,” paliwanag ko.

“Just tell me if you want some more,” aniya at pumunta sa counter upang tabihan ang waiter doon. She put her hand on the guy’s shoulder. “Alejo, that’s my son. Bryce.”

“Oh, nice to meet you,” sabi ng lalaki at nilahad ang kaniyang kamay.

Shaking hands when meeting someone is so formal, and it’s quite funny, but I eventually accepted his hand.

I examined the guy. Tall and muscular, wearing a polo with sleeves pulled to his elbow. A waist apron and black pants. Brown fluffy hair. Thick brows, but soft hazel eyes. Handsome – something I haven’t noticed a while ago.

Without my mother looking at him, he winked at me for a second time. He seems quite interested in me.

I would say, he’s definitely my kind of taste. If he asks me to go out, I would surely come.

“Handsome, isn’t he?” my mom asked.

“Yeah,” we both answered.

It became a little awkward for me when I realized that the question was meant to be asked for the guy, not me.

Natawa ng bahagya si Mama. She looked at us with meaningful eyes.

“Well, I need to go back to the kitchen. Maiwan ko muna kayo rito,” sabi ni Mama bago umalis.

I started to eat my food, and the guy whose name is Alejo – kung hindi man ako nagkakamali, is currently watching me.

“You know, it’s rude looking at people eating,” sabi ko.

“Talaga? Hindi ko kasi alam,” he said in an amused tone. He placed his arms on the counter to look at me even more. “I’ve heard a lot about you from your mother. Plano mong mag-aral sa Darkpelt College, am I right?”

He’s obviously trying to get us into conversation. Bringing up about college is not the best one to start it.

“Oo, bakit? Ayaw mo ba na mag-enroll ako do’n? May plano ka bang baguhin ang desisyon ko, just like you did with my omelette?”

He chuckled.

“Hindi. I just wanna say that it would be impressive if you got in. Matatalino lang ang nakakapasok do’n,” he explained.

Even so, I still can’t feel to be proud of myself. Ang tawagin akong matalino ng ibang tao ay hindi na bago sa akin. I’m used to it.

“I wish I could go to college like you. Guess I have to save money for years to afford that. Hindi naman ako pinalad sa buhay,” aniya.

Pakiramdam ko ay masyado nang personal ang detalyeng binabanggit niya sa akin. He sounds sad when he told me about it.

“Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to apologize.”

“How come you speak so smart? You’re talking in English like you’re so educated.”

It is actually just my attempt to make him feel better. To cheer him up, at least. That it doesn’t matter to me whatever his education background is.

“So? Language lang naman ’yun, babe. It doesn’t have to tell one’s intellect. Not a big deal.”

This guy is a flirt. He’s calling me babe, already? How fast.

Naubos ko na ang aking kinakain. I need to go home to finish some of the novels I left on my desk.

“I should go,” paalam ko sa kaniya.

“Wanna meet me after my shift?”

Okay, nahahalata ko na gusto niyang i-push ang sarili niya sa akin. I am not complaining, anyway.

“Saan?” I asked.

“Hindi ko muna sasabihin. Just stay and wait at your home.”

“Okay, babe,” sagot ko. Reciprocating his endearment. He smiled at that. Umalis na ako.

Kabanata 4

Kabanata 4

B

eauty and the Beast Inside His Pants

(Warning: Slight SPG)

I am sitting at the well-lit porch with my book. I am currently reading Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry, while wondering how many people still have interest with novels like this. Kapag nasa college na ako, gusto makahanap ng mga kaibigan na may kakaibang taste sa libro bukod sa romance. Love is such an overrated topic in literature, and I am sick of it.

But in real life, I actually want to find love. To be with another person you could share your moments with is an amazing thing. Of course, there should be hugs, cuddles, kisses… and sex. A good sex. Commitment is optional.

The rain just stopped a while ago, and all I could smell is the pleasant scent of petrichor. So relaxing. Ito ang bagay na hindi ko nararanasan sa syudad. Madalas, paglabas ko ng apartment building namin, puno ang ingay ang paligid at polluted ang hangin.

I’m starting to like living here.

Alas nuwebe na ng gabi noong umuwi si Mama. She’s carrying a basket of desserts for us to eat.

I was actually expecting Alejo to come with her, but I saw no sign of him. Kung hindi siya magpapakita sa akin ngayon, tulad ng pinangako niya kanina, hindi ko na siya kakausapin ulit.

“Want some hot chocolate?” sabi ni Mama habang nilalagay ang hiniwa niyang flan sa aking platito. “Kanina ka pa abala sa libro mo. It would be perfect if you’ll drink something warm.”

“Yes, please,” saad ko.

She’s nicer than I expected her to be. Madalas kasing may nasasabi sa kaniyang masama si Papa. Bilang anak na hindi nakita ang kaniyang ina sa mahabang panahon, umasa lang ako sa sinasabi ng iba para makilala siya.

We ate at the porch silently. Hinayaan niya akong magkaroon ng sariling mundo habang nagbabasa.

𓃥

Niligpit ko na ang aking libro sa shelf, pati na ang iba pa na nakakalat sa aking desk.

I let my body fall on my bed as I close my eyes. Kahit makapal ang suot kong pantulog, nilalamig pa rin ako. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. Gusto ko ang ganitong klima.

Napadilat ako nung may kumatok sa bintana.

It is Alejo in his casual shirt and pants. He looks sexier in this simple attire. My window seems very small with a six footer man like him.

I smiled then chuckled. This guy is definitely something else!

“Pasok,” sabi ko pagkatapos ko siyang pagbuksan. He came in without hesitation.

“Nice room,” puri niya habang tumitingin sa paligid.

“Salamat,” sabi ko. Then, I just found myself near at my bookshelf. I grabbed a book and waved it to him. “Mahilig ka rin bang magbasa?”

“Not much. I’m always busy at the diner,” sagot niya. Pagkatapos ay parang may malalim siyang iniisip. “I remember, the last book I’ve read is Four by Veronica Roth. That’s when I was addicted to Divergent series.”

“Good taste,” simpleng saad ko at nilapag sa desk ang librong hawak ko.

“You have to try it. That’s a good read,” aniya.

“Nabasa ko na ’yon,” sabi ko.

“Oh, I see. I should’ve expected that, since your room looks like a library,” aniya.

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya.

“You’re like Belle in real life. Bookworm and beautiful,” aniya.

“Beautiful?”

Muntik na akong mabilaukan sa sinabi niya. Umupo ako sa gilid ng kama ko, at tumabi naman siya sa akin.

“Yeah. The moment I saw you for the first time, I was mesmerized by your face.”

We looked at each other. His eyes looks full of sincerity.

“Lalaki ka… I know that obviously. But handsome is not something that fits to describe you. You are absolutely pretty. That’s a more perfect way to say it.”

I’m speechless.

“What are your thoughts of me trying to court you, Bryce? Okay lang ba sa’yo?” tanong niya. With hope in his eyes.

What the hell. Kakakilala palang namin. Gusto na niya agad na ligawan ako.

But on the bright side, this will be my way of knowing him. Guess, it’s not a bad idea to give him a try.

“Uhh… Y-yes, of course. Ayos lang sa’kin,” I said, trying my best not to stutter, pero nautal pa rin.

No way, this is happening. My heart is going to explode!

“But let’s keep it a secret for now, okay? I don’t want my mother to know.”

“Oh, sorry,” aniya. He cleared his throat and whispered. “Napalakas ba ang pananalita ko kanina. Sa tingin mo, maririnig ba ko ng nanay mo mula rito?”

“She won’t hear us. Her room is downstairs, and its not even under the floor of this room,” paliwanag ko.

He then kissed me. I was so shocked but I let his tongue roam around my mouth within a few seconds, until I pushed him away.

“Whoah! That… was quick,” sabi ko habang hinihingal.

“Sorry. I just… don’t want you to feel awkward when I’m around. We could do… things… if you get what I mean,” he explained. Iniwas ko lang ang tingin ko sa kaniya.

We’re just quiet for a moment. I heard him cleared his throat.

“Is it too much?”

I nodded. Napabuntong hininga siya.

Clearly, we just met a few hours ago. He looks straight, not until now that he admits that he likes me. Somehow, it’s giving a gay-for-you trope that makes me want to puke. But regardless, I shouldn’t be overwhelmed. Matagal ko nang gusto ito, at nasa harap ko na. Mahirap na kung magpa-hard to get pa ako. We are in a modern day world. Years of courtship isn’t gonna work, nowadays. To secure love, you must grab any opportunity that knocks.

“No! It’s fine. We could do it again!” I said in fake enthusiasm. Mas naging awkward pa lalo.

Actually, there’s a lot of other things I want to experience. Something deeper than a kiss.

“Or we can do more than what we just did,” makahulugan kong sabi.

He instantly gets it, so he immediately took of his shirt, revealing his well-sculpted body. I gulped so hard by the sight of him.

“Gusto mo ba?” he asked with a manly bedroom voice. It made me so excited.

“Yes,” I answered without any hesitation. Siyempre, ako ang nag-suggest.

He unzipped his pants and pulled down his underwear. His hard member sprung out.

“Then have a taste of this,” he said with hungry eyes. I nodded and positioned myself between his legs. I’m ready to give him the pleasure that he wants.

This is not the courtship that I’m expecting. Masyado pang maaga para dito. But who cares?

Kabanata 5

Kabanata 5

Secret Meeting Place

(Warning: Slight SPG)

Morning came, and all of a sudden, my memories from last night flashed inside my head when I opened up my eyes.

On my corkboard in front of my desk, there is a sticky note saying: I had fun last night, babe. Hope we could do it again. - Alejo

Am I dreaming? I slapped myself. Masakit. Oh god, it’s real!

We really did something last night, I remembered how I enjoyed it so much.

We didn’t go further than pleasuring each other with hands and mouths. I think that’s already enough for now since it is just our first time.

Alas kwatro y media palang ng umaga kaya naabutan ko si Mama na nagsisimula nang magluto sa kusina para sa umagahan namin. I went downstairs to watch her.

“Kinulang ka yata sa tulog,” aniya.

Hindi ko alam kung paano niya napansin.

“Yeah. Pero hindi ko na kayang matulog ulit,” paliwanag ko. Antok pa rin ako, pero kapag humiga ako, wala na akong ibang gagawin kun’di isipin ang nangyari kagabi. Maybe, I just need to get some distractions before I go back to bed.

Pinanood ko siyang hiwain ang bawang at sibuyas. Then she suddenly stopped for a moment. Napatingin siya kung saan-saan, waring may hinahanap.

“Ay, nakalimutan ko pala yung kamatis,” aniya.

“Ako nang bahala diyan, Ma. I’ll go outside,” sabi ko.

“Ah, sige. Kaunti lang, ha. Mga tatlong piraso.”

Pumunta ako sa backyard. Nang mahanap ko ang mga halamang kamatis ni Mama, agad akong pumitas ng mga hinog na bunga.

Then I caught something in my peripheral vision. Napatingin ako sa bagay na nasa labas ng bakod ng hardin.

There is a black wolf standing a few meters away. A very huge creature. His blue eyes are glued to me, staring like he is planning to go near.

Napako ang aking mga paa sa lupa. All I know is that wolves are predators in the wild, and they could attack humans.

But there is something different in this animal. It is looking at me with a soft eyes. He might look fearsome, but strangely, I find him gentle and looks like he’s tamed.

Dahan-dahan akong humakbang patalikod. Alerto sa kung ano man ang susunod na gagawin ng lobo. It sensed my fear, but instead of taking advantage of it by running forward to mawl me, it ran away.

It disappeared through the trunks of the trees in the forest. Left me with a slight shock. But thank god, the wolf gave me mercy.

Maybe some of these creatures – the wolves in the wild, are not hostiles after all. Pero mapanganib pa rin sila kaya dapat kaming mag-ingat.

I told my mother about it.

“They’re safe, Bryce. In fact, sila nga ang nagpoprotekta sa’tin,” aniya.

“How can you say that, Ma? Napaamo mo ba sila?”

Umiling siya.

“No. Sa tingin ko, hindi na natin kailangang amuhin pa sila. Ilang beses ko na silang nalapitan. They’re surprisingly kind and harmless. Trust me.”

I looked at me in disbelief. She just smiled.

“I gave them huge pieces of meat for days when they saved me from a bear attack, just a few months ago,” kwento niya.

Kung totoo man talaga ang sinasabi niya, mamamangha talaga ako. It’s a strange phenomenon.

“Hindi pala lahat ng inaakala nating mabangis ay totoong mabangis. Malay mo, okay pala sila. Baka sila pa nga ang magsasalba sa buhay mo, eh. They possibly be friends with humans… Pero kahit ganun, huwag kang basta-bastang magtitiwala. Minsan iniisip ko pa rin na baka may dahilan kung bakit mabait sila sa’kin. Maybe they’re just waiting for the right time. The one day, they’ll decide to attack and eat me. Who knows?”

She’s right… but I still hope I could see the black wolf again. I’m sure its not like the other wolves. I can see it, the way it looked at me. Gusto ko itong lapitan sapagkat sobra akong nagagandahan sa hitsura niya.

𓃥

“This is a nice hiding spot,” sabi ko kay Alejo habang pinapanood siyang maglatag ng tela sa ibabaw ng isang malaking bato.

We’re in the middle of the woods. Very far from houses, just to make sure that no one would see and hear us. I don’t want us to end up like the couple I caught here before. Para masiguro pa lalo, nilagpasan pa namin ang mismong lugar na ’yun.

“Yeah. It’s a perfect place. Kahit ano, pwede nating gawin. Just imagine, what kind of experience we can have here?” he said with a dirty meaningful look.

Umupo na ako sa tela, at tumabi siya sa akin.

Nakasuot siya ng sweatshorts at walang pang-itaas. Medyo pinagpapawisan ang kaniyang balat. I don’t want to stare at his body for a long time. Ayokong mahalata niya na may pagnanasa ako sa kaniya ngayon.

“It would be nice since I brought some drinks and pastries for us to eat,” sabi ko at tinuro ang basket na dinala ko. Trying to play innocent.

“Come on, Bryce. You know what I mean.”

I chuckled.

“Yeah, alam ko. Gutom ka na at gusto mo nang kumain,” I said. My innocent saga continues.

“I’m hungry, not for your food, but for your touch,” he said.

He grabbed my hand and pressed it on top of his shorts. I immediately felt his prick that wants to be freed.

“I see. Alejo junior wants attention,” I said and squeezed his manhood to tease him. He bit his lip sexily.

“He wants a skin-to-skin type of attention, Bryce,” aniya.

So I immediately put my hands inside his shorts to pull his thing. Binaba ko rin ng bahagya ang shorts niya. With his length and thickness, it would be such a hard work for me.

“Fuck!” he cursed when I moved my hands.

The fact that he can moan loudly while we’re doing this thing, excites me so much.

𓃥

There is an entrance exam for aspiring students of Darkpelt College. It is a public school, so they have this kind of event going on. Thousands of applicants came from different places, nationwide, hoping to get in. It would be tough because they only accept roughly fifteen to twenty percent of the applicants.

Nagpunta at nilibot ko ang campus habang namamangha. It looks like Hogwarts came to life. Napakaganda. I wish I could go and study here, para hindi na ako lumayo. It would be very convenient for us.

“It’s okay, whatever happens. We have a lot of backups outside the town. Pero naniniwala ako sa’yo, anak. Kayang-kaya mo ’yan,” sabi sa’kin ni Mama bago ako pumunta sa isang room with other applicants at sinimulan ang pagsusulit.

This is it, Bryce. Give your best shot.

Kabanata 6

Kabanata 6

My Mate

(Warning: SPG)

One morning, I received an e-mail from Darkpelt College. My heart is beating so loud. Mabilis akong bumaba dala ang laptop ko para hanapin si Mama at sabay naming titignan ang resulta. Nakita ko siya sa labas ng bahay. Day-off niya ngayon, and she’s very free today.

“Ma! Nandito na!” bungad ko sa kaniya habang nagdidilig siya ng mga halaman.

“Yung alin, anak?” pagtataka niya.

“The results!” tipid kong tugon.

I know, I don’t need to expound much about it. She got what I meant already. Agad siyang tumakbo at pumasok ng bahay. Sa sobrang taranta, iniwan niya ang hose na nakabukas sa labas.

“Nasaan?”

“Heto, bubuksan ko palang,” sabi ko sabay lapag ng laptop sa mesa ng dining area.

I placed the cursor on the message and closed my eyes as I click it. I inhaled and exhaled for a moment. Wiggled my hands. Bit my lip. Then, I slowly opened my eyes.

“Congratulations. We’re thrilled to announce-”

Napahinto ako nung tumili si Mama sa tabi ko. I covered my ears while smiling widely.

“Nakapasa ka!” sigaw niya.

“Hindi ko pa nababasa ng buo, but I’m sure it says that I got in!”

“I’m so proud of you, anak! Pagbutihin mo sa college, ha?” sabi niya sa’kin at hinalikan ako sa noo. Pagkatapos ay yumakap siya sa akin.

𓃥

I went back to my room to read the rest of the message. May file pa na nakaattach sa baba.

List of Topnotchers. That’s the title.

By curiousity, I opened it. Kahit hindi ako umaasang mapabilang dito.

Rank 8: Kaspian Bryce K. Fletcher

The students listed above will be granted a full scholarship. No expense will be charged, including tuition, uniforms and other miscellaneous fees.

I immediately covered my mouth to prevent myself from screaming. This is great! Hindi na ako magiging masyadong pabigat para kay Mama. It would be extremely helpful for us to save a lot of money. I could also save the allowance I have in my bank account.

I think bukas ko nalang ito ipapaalam kay Mama. She might freak out, again. Plus, kapag nalaman niya ang tungkol dito, I’m scared that she might put a pressure on me, and expect me to be excellent in school.

In fact, I’m not planning to be very active at school, now that I am in college. I have to focus on individual activities, and joining in any associations would be my least priority.

𓃥

“What’s this?”

“A congratulatory gift,” sagot ni Alejo.

He showed up in my window again. Turns out, bukod sa pagpunta sa secret meeting place namin, naging tradisyon na niyang gawin ito. Kapag may assignments ako na kailangang gawin, nagpapaalam ako sa kaniya. Yun lang yung mga araw na hindi niya ako pinupuntahan.

I tore the nicely wrapped gift open. Inside, there is a set of crochet bookmarks with leaf design. So adorable!

“Pinilit ko si Mama na turuan ako. I’m sorry kung iyan lang ang kaya kong ibigay. I just really want to give you something that I really made,” aniya at napayuko habang ang isang kamay ay nasa batok. Tila nahihiya.

“I really like it so much, Alejo! Ang cute. I don’t need to fold some papers to make temporary bookmarks, again,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

The fact that he learn how to crochet and made this thing, makes my heart burst in joy. It’s makes it feel very special.

“I’m so glad na nagustuhan mo,” aniya and he kissed me on my lips.

He pushed me down to my bed, and a series of pleasure happened.

That night, we did it… again. We still didn’t get to the part where what real sex is supposed to be. Alejo doesn’t want to hurt me yet. I told him that I’m not ready yet to wake up one day and feel the sore down there.

We just did the same thing just like what we did last time.

𓃥

I received another message from Darkpelt College. There is an event called Freshmen Party. Ang lahat ng mga bagong students ay pupunta at magko-contribute ng pagkain at magkakaroon kami ng malaking pagsasalu-salo.

Sinabi ko na ito kay Mama, at siya na raw bahalang mag-prepare ng dadalhin kong food. Kailangan ko nalang magplano kung ano yung susuotin ko.

“It’s perfect,” sabi ko habang sinusukat ang aking susuotin. I just need to iron them up and it’s ready to be worn.

𓃥

The next night, I dreamed of someone. I can see a man with his whole naked body, except his face. He’s touching me with his warm hands, burning every inch and corner of my body.

I felt one of his hands went to my fully exposed crotch and started to slowly stroke my dick.

I really can’t tell if I like it or not. I’m not sure if this person is Alejo, but I never felt so wrong doing this thing with this man.

“You’re mine, Bryce. No one will ever have you except me,” he whispered as I let him play me with his hand. His voice is unfamiliar.

He started so gentle. It gets rougher in every minute goes by. My body is still frozen in its place, and I’m desperate to move because I already felt that I am so close to come.

Then, I exploded in ecstacy. It felt so amazing.

“Please wait for me, my mate,” he whispered closely to my ear.

Medyo naaaninag ko na ang kaniyang mukha. It is a bit blurry so I still can’t recognize him. I just felt that he kissed me softly on my cheek.

Pagkatapos no’n ay bigla nalang akong nagising. Pawisan at hingalo. Medyo malagkit.

I pulled down my shorts and realized that I had a wet dream. I know that it’s natural, but it is still gross. I immediately took a bath before even make a coffee in this morning.

Kabanata 7

Kabanata 7

Darkpelt Cousins

“Sapat na ba ’to?” tanong sa’kin ni Mama.

“Ma, sobra na ’to! We’re not going to feed the entire town, okay?”

Natawa siya. She covered the huge basket of muffins with a clean white cloth. To give you an idea how big the basket is, I could actually fit inside. For real.

These pastries have three different flavors– chocolate, banana and strawberry. They smell so nice.

“I know, lahat kayo ay mag-aambag ng pagkain. For sure, there will be a lot of foods there. Pero gusto ko lang na sa’yo yung pinakamarami. Kilala ako ng mga tao dito. I’m the one who owns the most famous diner in town! Inaasahan nila na marami akong lulutuin,” aniya.

She really likes cooking. Mahal niya ang trabaho niya. No wonder, naging successful siya dito.

Naalala ko bigla si Papa. I hope he gets a career who could make him satisfied as well.

“These are just snacks. Gusto mo bang dagdagan ko? Pasta? Buffalo wi–?”

“No need, Mom. Tama na. Hindi ko na madadala lahat kapag dinagdagan pa natin,” pagpigil ko. Ayaw niyang paawat.

May narinig kaming bumusinang sasakyan sa labas.

“Nandito na siya,” sabi ni Mama at sinubukang buhatin ang basket. Hindi niya ito mabuhat.

“Ako na,” sabi ko at inagaw sa kaniya ang basket. It’s so damn heavy!

There is an old gray truck in front of our house. Sa bintana ng sasakayan, nakita ko si Alejo na nakangiti sa akin.

May sasakyan pala siya at marunong pala siyang magmaneho. I’m impressed.

I smiled back.

“Get in,” aniya.

My mother patted me on my shoulder before I go. Nilagay ko sa likod ang basket at sumakay ako sa front seat, sa tabi niya.

“Thanks for giving me a ride,” sabi ko kay Alejo.

“Don’t mention it, Bryce,” aniya habang pinapaandar ang engine. “Ang gwapo mo ngayon sa suot mo. Very classy.”

Napaiwas ako ng tingin nung naramdaman ko ang pamumula ng aking pisngi.

“Salamat,” tipid na sabi ko.

Good to know that he liked me in my corporate attire. Alam kong bagay sa akin ’to, ngayon.

“I think I would even like it better kapag hinubad mo ’yan,” aniya. He just activated his horny button.

Nagsimula na siyang imaneho ang sasakyan.

𓃥

Nagsimula na ang Freshmen Party sa school grounds. I already placed the basket with a set of paper plates in my designated stall.

I look so stupid right now. Everyone else’s outfits were just casual. Shirts and denims. Never thought that it would be the worst idea to wear a corporate attire in a party. Nahihiya tuloy akong umalis ng stall at makipag usap sa iba.

“Hi! Can I get three muffins, please?” a guy approached my stall. Wearing a corporate attire like me. I’m surprised that afterall, hindi lang pala ako yung may out-of-place na damit. Thankfully.

“Sure. Ilan? Anong flavor?”

“One of each flavor, please,” sagot niya.

Sumusulyap-sulyap ako sa mukha niya habang nilalagay sa paper plate ang muffins na nirerequest niya. He has a familiar face. Black hair and blue eyes – just like the person I bumped in a convenience store and saw initiating sex in the midst of the forest. Magkamukhang-magkamukha sila, except that this one is a lot shorter. Magkaheight lang kami.

“By the way, your outfit’s looks good on you. Pareho tayo ng style, but you look more pretty,” he complimented me.

I don’t feel much flattered, because I thought I would look manly with my outfit today. Pinuri niya ako na parang feminine akong tignan. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just trying my best to hide my true self for now. Hindi pa ako sigurado kung tolerant ang mga tao dito with any type of sexuality beyond straightness.

“Yeah, I agree,” singit naman ng isa pang lalaki. He is wearing a gothic oversized shirt and a baggy denim pants. Olive eyes. Black hair with red highlights. “Dalawa sa bawat isang flavor, please?”

Kumuha ako ng paper plate, ngunit may kamay na biglang pumigil sa akin.

“Actually, you don’t have to serve us. Freshman ka rin, right?”

Tipid akong tumango.

“I knew it. Please drop the plate and join us. Just let the other people serve themselves, okay?” ani ng lalaking may bughaw na mata at bigla akong hinila palabas sa stall. “I’m Hector Darkpelt.”

Darkpelt? Pareho lang ang apelyido niya sa pangalan ng lugar na ’to. Weird.

“Bryce Fletcher,” tipid kong pagpapakilala.

“Nice meeting you, Bryce,” the other guy said and patted me on my shoulders. Pagkatapos ay inakbayan niya ako. “My name’s Brock, and you can call me… uhh… Brock.”

“At magpinsan kami,” dagdag pa ni Hector.

Kaya pala medyo magkahawig sila.

“Nice meeting you, too,” sabi ko.

“Gosh, look! Grabe pala itong muffins mo. They are so huge,” sabi ni Brock that slightly made me jump. “This is almost as large as my hand. I wonder whose mouth’s gonna fit this thing in one bite.”

“Not me,” banggit ni Hector habang nakangiwi.

“Siguro kaya ko ’to. My mouth can fit any size of anything,” sabi ni Brock at kumindat sa akin. I heard Hector scoffed.

“Don’t mind him. He always talks like crazy. We just pulled him out yesterday from an asylum,” sabi ni Hector, dismayado sa pinsan niya. Alam kong nagbibiro lang siya. “Kinakabahan ka ba?”

“No, bakit naman ako kakabahan?” maagap kong sagot. Mukha ba akong kabado? This is not the best time for that, especially ngayong nakikipag-usap na ako.

Pero aaminin ko, I am completely nervous right now. I’m not used being surrounded by people in a new town. Hindi naman ako mahiyain sa school namin dati at palagi akong active. But right now, I’m having a hard time to socialize because it seems like everyone knows each other and it feels like most of them don’t have any interest to know about the brand new teen just moved in their town.

“Buti ka pa… To be honest, I am actually very nervous right now. College is one of the most difficult phases of life. We have to step up our game,” pag amin ni Hector sa akin. He is fidgeting his fingers. “What’s your course, by the way?”

“Business administration,” I simply answered.

“Major in?”

“Marketing.”

“Pareho tayo! We’re classmates.”

Napatingin nalang ako sa plato niyang may tatlong muffins. Wala lang. Natutulala ako dahil wala akong maisip sabihin.

“Oh, sorry. Mukha ba akong matakaw? I ate too much, because I have high metabolism,” aniya at balak na ibalik ang isa sa mga binigay kong muffins.

Pinigilan ko siya.

“No, it’s fine. Pwede kang kumuha ng kahit ilan… I’m just spacing out.”

“Yeah, pareho lang kayo ni Hector. Ganiyan din siya palagi. Madalas nakatulala kasi maraming iniisip,” sabi ni Brock habang hawak ang paper plate niya na may anim na muffin. “I remember a downtown diner who sells muffins similar to these.”

“Ah, right. May diner si Mama doon. Baka yun yung tinutukoy mo,” sabi ko. Baka yung diner ni Mama ang tinutukoy niya.

“Oh… So you must be Aunt Bethany’s son.” tanong ni Brock.

I just nodded.

“How come I don’t know anything about that place?” Hector interupted.

“Hindi ka kasi kumakain sa mga diners dito. Pasosyal ka kasi,” sabi ni Brock at tumawa.

Hector looks offended.

“Maybe I’ll go visit your diner some day,” iyon nalang ang nasabi ni Hector pagkatapos at kumagat siya ng strawberry muffin. “God, this tastes good! May malaking potensyal ang pagkain na ’to. Is your mom interested in accepting investments from other people to expand her business? My family might consider investing.”

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. I heard Brock chortled.

“Huh?” iyon nalang ang nasabi ko.

“He’s insane. Huwag kang makinig sa kaniya,” Brock said and all of a sudden, a loud music boomed in the grounds. “Come on, let’s dance!”

Hinila nila ako papunta sa mga nagsasayawang tao.

Kabanata 8

Kabanata 8

Pay For It

Kinabukasan… the school gave us a day to rest. Maraming napagod sa event kaya na-move ang pasukan.

In front of my mother’s diner, just across the road, there is a music shop that people in this town rarely go. They are selling a bunch of stuffs – albums and musical instruments type of stuffs. A place where Brock will surely like.

Nalaman ko na vocalist pala si Brock ng isang banda noong high school pa siya, at plano niyang ituloy ito hanggang college. I’m not really sure if we could still hang out as friends because unlike Hector, he’s taking a different course.

Pumasok ako sa shop dahil balak kong bumili ng isang specific na album. I wonder kung meron sila nito.

There are countless of things here, but I couldn’t find the one that I am looking for.

Lumapit ako sa lalaking nasa counter na kasalukuyang nagbabasa ng libro. Thick and leather-bound. It looks like a bible.

“Excuse me,” tawag ko sa kaniya.

The man looked at me with a disgusted and hateful stare. Hindi ko pa siya nakikilala, kaya wala naman akong matandaan na may nagawa akong masama sa kaniya, pero pakiramdam ko ay may kasalanan ako sa kaniya.

“Naghahanap ako ng record ng Arctic Monkeys. May tinda ba kayo no’n?” tanong ko.

Hindi niya ako pinansin, sa halip ay bumalik siya sa pagbabasa ng kaniyang libro. He just ignored me.

“Hello? Can you please just reschedule your bible reading? Sinasayang mo yung oras ko, eh.”

I still got no response from him. Kumukulo na ang dugo ko.

“Huwag mong hintayin na tulungan kitang makita si Lord ng maaga,” banta ko.

Naghintay lang muna ako ng kaniyang magiging reaction, but he acted like he heard nothing. Nakakaasar. Now I know why people don’t go here frequently. This shop has a bad customer service.

Nakatayo ako sa harap niya habang nakapamulsa. I’m trying my best to stop myself from slapping him. Then I felt someone poked a finger on the back of my shoulders.

Lumingon ako at nakita ang isang lalaking may hawak na vinyl record at binibigay sa akin. It was the one that I am looking for.

“Here,” he said.

Tinanggap ko naman ito. Thank God, I finally have this thing on my hands.

I looked at the man’s face, at natanto ko na siya pala ang lalaking nakabangga ko sa convenience store at nahuli kong may kasamang babae sa gitna ng kagubatan. I’m shocked to see him standing in from of me, with his gigantic body. He’s evidently six feet tall and a few inches.

He wearing a sleeveless shirt and jersey shorts. Both are black. Agaw pansin ang kaniyang maputing balat sa kaniyang suot.

Hindi ba siya nalalamig? The whole town is freezing, yet he managed to go around wearing clothes with less fabric. Plus, hindi na rin siya amoy-lupa tulad ng dati. I can smell a very masculine perfume from him.

“Thanks,” sabi ko.

Halos isang minuto kaming nagtitigan at saka napaiwas ng tingin dahil sa kahihiyan.

“I know you,” I said out of nowhere.

Nakita ko ang bahagyang gulat sa kaniyang mukha. Then, he sighed.

“Yeah. We met… two times in such awful situations,” he said and chuckled in an awkward way. “I would like to apologize about what happened in the convenience store. It was an accident.”

“Ano ka ba. Ako dapat yung mag-sorry kasi naitapon mo yung kape mo,” sabi ko naman.

I hope he doesn’t mention the one I saw him in the woods. Gusto ko nalang na kalimutan iyon.

He smiled. I almost gasp to see his handsome face do that. His god-like beauty can melt a person in severe admiration.

“It’s just a coffee,” aniya at bigla siyang nag offer ng kamay sa’kin. “I’m Vinson, by the way.”

His hand is so huge. Yung tipong kaya niyang durugin ang kamay ko. I reluctantly took it and shook his hand. His palm is surprisingly soft.

“I’m Bryce,” sabi ko.

“I know… Your the son of the owner of that diner, right?” aniya at sabay turo sa glass wall kung saan matatanaw yung diner ni Mama.

I think my mother’s not wrong at all. Sikat nga masyado ang diner niya, kaya mabilis ring kumalat sa lugar na ’to ang pagdating ko.

“Yup.”

May something sa kamay na nagdala ng kakaibang init sa akin katawan. A weird sensation. I can’t pull away my hand from him, because it just lose a lot of energy.

“Nice meeting you,” aniya at binitawan na niya ang kamay ko. “By the way, you have a good taste in music.”

I can sense that he wants to keep our conversation going. No idea why, but I guess it’s fine.

“Uhh… I think so… Siguro?… I just like songs that boosts my vanity,” I explained.

I can’t remember if Arctic Monkeys has songs that intends to make people narcisstic, but their songs somehow makes me feel confident and attractive. It’s just because of the good beats and Alex Turner’s voice that intoxicates me like drugs and liquors. I feel like I’m high whenever I’m listening to their music.

“Ikaw? What brings you here?” tanong ko sa kaniya.

Bakit ka curious, Bryce?

Do you like the guy?

If you really do, I just want to remind you about Alejo, yung lalaking kaunti nalang at malapit mo nang maging boyfriend. Don’t let this man destroy the progress that you have with Alejo, kahit gaano pa siya kagwapo at kamatipuno. Got it?

“I’m just here looking for a nice guitar. Ireregalo ko lang sa pinsan ko,” aniya.

“Oh, I see. It’s perfect that this town has this kind of shop. Hindi mo na kailangang lumayo,” sabi ko, because I can’t think of a better response.

Tumingin ako sa lalaking nasa counter at nahuli ko siyang nakatingin din sa’kin na may pandiriri. My forehead creased in confusion.

“Ba’t ganiyan siya makatingin. Mukha ba ’kong tae?” tanong ko sa kay Vinson.

Tumawa siya. The second time I heard his laugh, it sounded sexier in my ears.

“Don’t say that, Bryce. You look wonderful,” he said seriously while looking directly at my face. He has an emotion like he’s longing for me. Like anytime, he’s going to grab me, embrace me, and put me inside his pocket to keep me. Pagkatapos ay kumurap-kurap siya para matanggal ang expresyon na iyon sa mukha niya.

Maybe, I’m just hallucinating. There’s no way he looked at me like that.

“Guess we’ll see if that’s true. Kung may face card ka, mabait ang magiging turing sa’yo ng mga tao,” I said and chuckled awkwardly. Pagkatapos ay lumapit na ako ulit sa counter.

Ngayon ay wala na siyang hawak na libro at naghihintay na siya sa’kin na magbayad.

“Yun lang?” the guy on the counter asked with an irritating tone.

“Oo. I’ll pay with my debit card,” sabi ko sabay abot ng card ko sa kaniya.

He swiped it on a thick cellphone-like gadget and it made an error sound.

“Hindi mo siya pwedeng gamitin. Sabi dito, insufficient ang laman ng card mo,” aniya sabay sauli ng card ko.

What? No way. This can’t be real. Maybe it’s because I ordered a lot of books online, and most of them just came yesterday, kaya naubos ang balanse. I paid them all using my bank account. Hindi ko akalain na gan’to ko mauubos ang allowance ko.

Isa pa, nakakahiya. Nalaman pa ni Vinson na wala akong pera.

“Talaga?” sabi ko at napabuntong hininga. “Sige, isasauli ko nalang ’yan.”

“No, wait!” pagpigil ni Vinson sa akin. Hinawakan niya ang aking braso. “I want you to have it, Bryce. Let me pay for it.”

Kabanata 9

Kabanata 9

Secret Kiss

Nilapag ko muna yung album sa counter, at doon ay binitiwan na niya ang braso ko. Then, he immediately pulled up his wallet from his pocket to get his card.

“Here,” aniya sabay abot ng card sa lalaki sa counter.

“No! You don’t have to do this,” sabi ko at sinubukang hilahin ang kaniyang braso upang ilayo ang card na hawak niya sa lalaki, but his arms are so big and strong that it didn’t even make any movements with my pull.

“Akala ko ba gusto mo ’tong bilhin?” he asked innocently.

Ano bang ginawa ko para maging ganito siya kabait sa akin? He’s willing to lend me money to purchase the album. Hindi pa naman namin masyadong kilala ang isa’t isa.

“Hindi muna sa ngayon, okay? Much better kung ibabalik ko nalang muna ’to. Hindi ko pa siya afford for now, pero for sure naman ako na may next time pa naman para mabili ko ’to,” I said, pero parang hindi niya ako pinakinggan.

“Take the card please!” he demands to the guy on the counter, insists to pay for it. He said it calmly – like the Albus Dumbledore in the movie kind of ‘calmly’.

The guy took it promptly and used it for my payment. Napasampal ako ng bahagya sa aking noo. Bakit niya pinipilit ang sarili niyang gawin ’to?

“Bakit mo ginagawa ’to, Vin?” tanong ng lalaki sa counter. It seems like they know each other. Hindi na ’ko nagulat. Masyadong maliit ang bayan na ’to. For sure, halos magkakakilala na ang lahat ng tao rito.

Vinson did not respond.

“Look at him. Huwag mong sabihin na hindi mo nahahalata? Hindi ka ba nandidiri?” tanong pa niya ulit.

I am now starting to understand what this person meant. He hates me because of something.

“Shut up, Kyo,” simpleng pagpigil ni Vinson.

I looked at the man’s name tag and it say’s ‘Kyosuke’. I assume he called the guy with his nickname, so possible talaga na magkilala na sila.

“Hindi ka dapat nakikipag-usap sa mga bading, Vinson. They’re perverts. Baka nga di mo lang alam, hinuhubaran ka na niya sa isip ng lalaking iyan,” panlalait ng lalaki sa counter habang nilalagay sa malaking paper bag yung album na bibilhin ko.

Napatingin ako sa kaniya na may galit sa aking mata. I balled my hands into fist. Hindi ako makapaniwalang nahalata ako ng lalaking ito, at may galit siya sa’kin dahil hindi niya gusto kung ano ako. Nakakainit ng ulo dahil tinawag pa niya akong nakakadiri. Clearly, he hates homosexuals. I don’t care about his opinion, actually. Pero dapat tinago nalang niya ito sa kaniyang isipan, dahil kung hindi siya pinigilan ni Vinson ay baka masampal ko siya.

“Say that again or I’ll punch you in the face,” Vinson said firmly. It was very scary. He sounds totalitarian the way he said it, and I can feel that the guy is now shaking on his shoes.

Buti naman… We’re two against him.

“Uhh… heto na,” sabi sa’kin ni Kyo at inabot na yung paper bag at resibo.

“Let’s go,” aniya at hinila niya ako palabas.

Strange how I felt sparks from his hands when he held me. It feels… euphoric, and I can’t fathom what’s going on.

Paglabas namin sa tapat ng shop, binitawan niya ako.

“Don’t listen to him. He’s a jerk,” aniya, sinusubukan akong pakalmahin pero kalmado na ako.

“Yeah, I know. But I’m used to it,” sabi ko.

“You shouldn’t be.”

“Ayos lang… Pero salamat, kanina… Tsaka sa pagbayad ng album. Don’t worry, babayaran naman kita kapag nagkapera na ako.”

“It’s nothing,” he said and sighed lightly. “So, are you going to give it a try when you got home?”

Sabay turo niya sa hawak ko.

Napatingin ako sa album. It is one of the most precious thing I have so far because it is my first ever album that I bought - technically not, because someone paid it for me. Plus, I have a sort of bizzare story on how I got this thing.

“I really don’t have a record player. Naisip ko lang bilhin para i-display sa kwarto ko,” paliwanag ko.

“May player ako sa bahay. Kung gusto mong subukan, you can visit me anytime,” sabi niya.

“Sure. Thanks!” I simply said. Kung wala akong utang sa kaniya, tatanggi ako. I have no plans to play it. “Anyway, can I get your number? It’s for the money I owe you.”

I picked up a pen from my pocket and the piece of receipt I received for the album inside my other pocket. Inabot ko ito sa kaniya upang sulatan niyan.

“There you go,” aniya matapos isulat yung number niya sa likod ng resibo

“Thanks! Kailangan ko nang umalis,” sabi ko, pagkatapos ay nilagay ko ito agad sa bulsa.

“Yeah, see you,” he said on a very low volume. It bothered me. I looked at his face and realized how sad he is. His lips are pursed and his eyes are a bit watery.

What’s wrong with him? He is hard to decipher.

“What’s wrong?” tanong ko. Hindi ko kayang umalis nang nakikita siyang ganiyan.

He gave me a confused look.

Nagmamaang-maangan pa siya sa akin. Hindi ako sigurado kung tungkol ito sa pagtulong niya sa’kin, pero ito lang ang naiisip ko na dahilan.

“Look, Vinson. I can literally see the look of regret on your face. Kung ayaw mo palang bayaran mo yung binili ko, hindi mo na sana ginawa,” sabi ko.

He immediately shook his head.

“N-No. It’s totally fine, Bryce,” aniya.

Then, what makes him sad?

“Okay, tell me. What should I give you in return? Kasi yung utang ko, mababayaran lang ’yan ng pera, but your kindness isn’t… Ask me anything,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

He was thinking for a minute while he’s looking deeply to my eyes. Tinitigan ko lang siya pabalik na parang wala akong nararamdaman sa ginagawa niyang pagtitig.

“A kiss?” he said then looked down to my lips.

Namilog ang mga mata ko sa request niya.

“Seryoso ka ba?!” I exclaimed.

He nodded nervously and gulped.

Hinintay ko na sabihin niya sa’kin na nagbibiro lang siya, pero nakita ko sa mukha niya kung gaano siya kaseryoso at kadeterminado na hilingin sa’kin iyon.

A kiss, huh? From me?

“But I’m a guy!” sabi ko.

He just gave me a look that says he knows it obviously. Oh… I finally realize what’s happening here. He’s not straight and he might be interested in me – bagay na kinagulat ko. Baka bisexual siya, kasi nakita ko na siyang may kasamang babae, doing a romantic stuff. Kaya pala may malasakit siya sa’kin kanina.

Well, that’s weird, because he’s extremely handsome and I don’t feel like I could be his type.

“Meron kang girlfriend,” sabi ko.

He gave me a confused look.

“Who?”

“Yung babae na dinala mo sa kakahuyan. Nahuli ko pa nga kayong gumagawa ng bagay na hindi ko dapat makita. Don’t tell me she’s not your girlfriend.”

“Well, she’s not my girlfriend, anymore. Wala na siya. Hindi na kami nag-uusap,” aniya.

Damn. Of course, masyado siyang gwapo para mag-commit sa isang tao. Kaya niyang magpalit ng babae araw-araw. What a jerk.

“Where’s my kiss?” sabi pa niya. Tila naiinip.

Harmless naman ang paghalik, di ba? So why am I getting so freaky about it? Hindi naman ibig sabihin ay magiging boyfriend ko na siya – or fling! Hindi ko pa alam kung gaano kababaw sa kaniya ang pakikipagrelasyon.

Wala namang mawawala sa’kin. I think he deserves it somehow.

“Sa pisngi?” tanong ko.

“Pwede na,” he said.

I don’t want to tell him that I already have a guy that I want to be my boyfriend. Alejo and I were not officially together, yet. I will keep it as a secret for now. I won’t let Vinson know about Alejo, yet. I’ll tell him soon. But I won’t let Alejo know about Vinson, ever.

There is a huge thick tree near us that could possibly cover a group of people behind. I think it is the perfect spot to kiss him secretly.

Hinila ko siya doon. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek immediately.

“There… Happy?” I asked.

He smiled and nodded.

“Yeah,” sagot niya.

“Good. Sige, aalis na ako. We’ll talk sooner, okay?”

We both bid our goodbyes and parted our ways. Gosh, he looks so cute he when he smiles. It makes my heart explode.

Habang naglalakad ako palayo, biglang nag-init ang pisngi ko nung narealize ko kung ano yung ginawa ko kanina. Halik lang ’yun sa pisngi, Bryce! Forget it!

𓃥

“Who’s that?” medyo masungit na tanong ni Alejo pagpasok ko sa diner. I just want to pay him a visit for a while.

Natanaw niya yata kami ni Vinson kanina na nag-uusap.

“Uhh… he’s just someone I met in college. Nagkita lang kami,” pagsisinungaling ko.

Tumango lang siya. I can sense that he still have a lot of questions circling inside his head, but he chose to be silent. I feel sorry for making him feel stupid right now, but it’s better that he doesn’t know about something weird just happened a while ago.

Ipapangako ko, kung magiging kami man ni Alejo, hindi na ’ko mag-i-entertain ng iba. We just need to wait for that time.

Kabanata 10

Kabanata 10

Cuddles, Acceptance, and a No-reponse Call

(Warning: Slight SPG)

It’s almost two hours before midnight and I still couldn’t sleep.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nag-iinit ako. It’s just the same feeling that I had before when I caught Vinson making out with a girl in the woods. But the difference is, it is a lot stronger than before.

I just touched myself again and reached my climax. There was a lot of explosions – funny way to describe it but it’s the most accurate. At ang nakakatakot ay pangatlong beses ko na itong nagawa. Hindi pa rin ako makuntento. I feel like an animal right now. This heat is driving me insane.

“Fuck! Pagod na ’ko,” sabi ko at huminga ng malalim. I spread my arms on the bed and yawned. Maybe I should just sleep it away.

When I closed my eyes, all I can see is Vinson’s handsome face. It’s strange how I feel kinda obsessed with it. The way he looks, talks and shows his emotions is making me feel strangely attracted. Hindi ko maipaliwanag pero parang gustung-gusto ko ulit na makita siya.

Nung nagkamayan kami, nararamdaman ko pa rin yung init na binigay niya sa’kin. Medyo nag-aalala ako na baka siya pala ang may dahilan kung bakit ako nagkakaganito ngayon. He cursed me, like he’s a warlock or something. He made me so horny right now that even though I already came for three times, I still wanna pleasure myself again.

I feel so bad because I already have Alejo. He’s the one that I am looking forward to have a relationship with, even though there is still no guarantee that he would be the best choice for me.

Then I heard a sound of howl outside. By curiousity, napabangon ako sa kama at tumanaw sa bintana para makita ang isang lobo na nakatingin sa akin. Feels like he really wants to see me.

Mayroon siyang itim na balahibo, so all I can see is its silhouette with the soft light from the moon. Kapansin-pansin ang kaniyang bughaw na mata sa madilim ba kapaligiran.

Matapos ang ilang minuto ay nakarinig ako ng pag-ungol sa malayo, at napansin ito ng lobo. Parang tinatawag siya. Then the wolf ran away to the forest and disappeared just like what it did the first time I saw it.

Now, I feel so alone with my insomnia.

I texted Alejo to ask if he’s still awake right now. Hindi ko pa nasasabi ang dahilan, pero pupuntahan na raw niya ako ulit agad dito sa aking kwarto upang samahan buong magdamag.

Agad akong naligo para hindi niya maamoy yung ginawa ko kanina.

He arrived fifteen minutes later. Ganun kabilis. So impressive.

We cuddled on my bed with my head on his thick biceps. His other hand is on my hips, trying to pull me closer to him. My eyes were locked into him, trying to learn his handsome face.

“Kailangan mong matulog ng maaga. May pasok ka pa bukas,” he said, noong napansin niya na gising pa ’ko at tinititigan siya.

“Can’t help it,” sabi ko at hindi pa rin tumitigil sa pagtingin.

His face went closer to mine and he gave me a soft kiss.

“There. Binigay ko na ang gusto mo. Now, sleep,” sabi ko.

I chuckled.

“That’s not what I really want, Al. But that’s okay. Matutulog na ako,” sabi ko at pinikit na ang aking mga mata. I think that’s enough to make me sleep tonight.

Naramdaman ko ang bigla niyang pagbangon. I opened my eyes again and saw him on top of me. His hazel eyes has a mix of sleepiness and hunger for sex.

“Alam mo, ayaw sana kitang pagurin ngayong gabi, pero ibibigay ko pa rin sa’yo kung ano ang gusto mo,” aniya at nilapat ang kaniyang labi sa akin habang gumagapang ang kaniyang kamay sa loob ng aking damit.

Fuck. I’m still horny as hell even though I had my climax many times this night.

𓃥

Nagising ako kinabuksan at hindi ko naabutan ang pag-alis ni Alejo. It’s fine with me as long as we don’t get busted by my mother. Hindi pa ako handang ipaalam kay Mama ang kung anong namamagitan sa’min ng empleyado niya.

I came downstairs to wash myself first before I eat my breakfast. I don’t want to expose the smell of what Alejo and I did last night.

My mother gave me a morning kiss in my forehead. Kumalam ang sikmura ko nung naamoy ko ang Hungarian sausage at fried rice sa mesa.

“Kumusta ang tulog mo?” tanong ni Mama sa’kin habang sabay kaming kumakain.

“Ayos lang,” sagot ko.

“I see. You look jolly and fresh today,” aniya, and wiggled her eyes like she knows something that I didn’t know.

Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pagkain.

“Pwede mo namang ayain si Alejo na bumaba dito. Marami pa naman akong niluluto sa umaga,” sabi pa niya.

I stopped chewing my food for a while.

“Ha?” pagmamaang-maangan ko. Damn it. Does she know?

“Oo, Bryce. Alam kong pumunta siya kagabi sa kwarto mo… Ilang beses ko na rin siyang nahuhuling umaakyat sa bahay natin,” she said and laughed at my shocked reaction. “You don’t have to hide it from me, anak. Open naman ako na tanggapin ang magiging relasyon mo sa ibang tao. Whatever the person’s gender is, as long as you’re happy.”

I sighed and smiled. I’m glad that she’s okay with it. Nabunutan ako ng tinik sa puso.

“At alam ko rin kung ano yung ginagawa niyo. Don’t mention it to me, it would be uncomfortable to hear it from you, anak.”

Tumawa ako at tumango. Nagpatuloy na kami sa pagkain.

𓃥

My mother handed me a large amount of money for my allowance. Medyo nahihiya pa ako noong una, dahil nasanay ako na kay Papa ako humihingi. But since I’m sure that my father is still struggling with money – that caused my debit card to be out of balance, tinaggap ko na ang bigay sa’kin ni Mama.

Before I went to school, sinubukan ko munang tawagan si Vinson upang pag-usapan sandali ang pagkikita namin para bayaran sa kaniya ang utang ko.

He answered it immediately.

“Hello?” sabi ko ngunit walang nagsalita sa kabilang linya.

May problema kaya sa signal ko kaya hindi ko siya naririnig?

“Vinson?” pagtawag ko ulit sa kaniya.

Still, he didn’t talk.

Nagulat nalang ako noong biglang naputol ang linya namin. I’m so confused what just happened. I just shook my head and tried to forget it, for now, because tomorrow is my big day. My official first day of college.

Kabanata 11

Kabanata 11

Humans

I realized that Hector is a Paris Geller type of smart. He could crush his foes with strong wits, and intimidate the smartest professor in this school. Perfect marks for him are just like the tomatoes for me that I pick on my garden everyday – easy to gather.

He doesn’t need to remind the school faculty how much power his family holds in this place to let him earn the highest grades.

Overall, he’s cool and I like him. Nalilito pa rin ako kung bakit sa dinami-rami ng tao sa campus na mas prominente kaysa sa’kin, ako pa rin ang napili niyang lapitan araw-araw.

Madalas rin naming makasama si Brock kapag lunch, kahit pa sa ibang school building pa siya galing. Right now, he’s not here, but we will probably see each other, in some other time.

“You promised me, right?” tanong sa’kin ni Hector habang nakahawak sa aking balikat. Mahigpit at parang walang plano na pakawalan. The class hours are finally done and its time to go home. Naglalakad kami ngayon sa corridor. “Dinner with my family, remember?”

Tumango ako at nilabas ang cellphone ko mula sa aking bulsa.

“I have to send a text to my mother,” sabi ko.

“Akala ko ba nagpaalam ka na sa kaniya?”

“Yeah, but I feel like I need to remind her again. Gusto ko lang na maaalala niya ulit.”

“Okay… and next time, you can bring her over as well to our family dinner. That would be better!”

I don’t think it will ever happen. Abala si Mama kahit sa gabi, at nahihiya akong abalahin pa siya lalo. But I just nodded at Hector to give him a fake assurance.

Then, my phone beeped. Akala ko galing ito kay Mama.

Unknown number: Meet me after school? -Alejo

I tried my best not to hide a smile. Nagtipa ako ng reply.

Bryce: Where did you get my number?

I saved his number immediately on my contacts.

Alejo: I asked your mom, and she gave it to me.

“Sino ’yan?” biglang tanong ni Hector sabay silip sa cellphone ko.

“Wala!” sabi ko at agad na nilihis ang screen upang hindi niya makita. “I need to go home.”

“What?! Pero bakit?”

“Just something personal, Hector. Huwag kang mag-alala, pupunta ako, okay?” I said and patted his shoulder.

“Is it about your mother again? Don’t tell me, kailangan mo ring magpaalam ulit ng personal. Praning ba nanay mo kapag umaalis ka ng bahay?”

My brain can’t process any response for his questions so I just shrugged it all off.

“Text mo nalang sa’kin yung address mo. I’ll go by myself,” iyon nalang ang tangi kong nasabi.

“Alright. Got it!”

𓃥

Umuwi muna ako sa bahay para magpalit ng damit. A long sleeved corduroy with open buttons with white shirt underneath and a simple semi-formal pants. Earth-toned. Just that. I think I’m ready to go.

“You look nice,” sabi ni Alejo sa’kin. Nagkita kami sa gitna ng kakahuyan. I’m on my way to Hector’s house.

“Thanks,” I said. Tinignan ko ang suot niyang simpleng tank top at shorts. He looks kinda hot, and I’m trying not to stare at his body for too long. “Ikaw rin.”

Tumawa siya ng bahagya.

“Wala namang espesyal sa suot ko.”

We are just standing there being silent for a moment. Tapos nagsalita siya para basagin ang katahimikan.

“How’s your first few week of college?” tanong niya.

“Fine,” I simply answered and tried to think of something that might interest him about my experience… but I’ve got nothing! This is frustrating. “Ayos lang naman. Nothing much to share so far, but if something bizarre happens, I’ll tell you right away.”

“You sound so tensed, Bryce” aniya. I didn’t notice that. Maybe, because I’m just pressured trying my best not to disappoint him because he could potentially be my boyfriend in the future. I want to share what’s going in my life, but I can’t right now. “Come on. Hindi ako pulis, and I’m not interrogating you. Relax, okay?”

Then he gave me a kiss. Long and tender. I was calmed down by it.

“Sigurado ka, ayaw mong ihatid kita sa bahay ng kaibigan mo?” tanong niya.

“Yeah. Gusto ko kasing maglakad. I need a little bit of exercise, you know?” paliwanag ko.

Bahagya siyang tumango. But I know that in his mind, he’s not convinced by my answer. I’m not athletic, which gaves him the idea that I hate exercising.

We embraced to say goodbye to each other.

𓃥

It’s getting dark. Dinala ko ang aking flashlight para ilawan ang daan.

In the middle of the woods, there is a huge modern mansion that looks straight out of a real estate advertisment. It looks very majestic under the light of the moon.

Hector and Brock’s family is surely a bigtime. Now, my footsteps are getting heavier as I walk towards the house.

I pressed the doorbell and the large door immediately opened. It was Hector.

“Thank God, you’re here! Come in. Everybody’s waiting for you, but they’re kinda busy at the moment,” he welcomed.

Pumasok ako at namangha sa ganda ng loob ng mansion. Contemporary, maximalist, expensive and splendid. That’s how I describe this mansion in just a few words.

𓃥

“You smell so nice, Bryce. Are you wearing a perfume?” tanong ni Hector sa amin.

Napailing ako.

“No. Hindi ako mahilig magpabango,” saad ko.

“What do you mean, Hector? He literally smells like another person,” sabi naman ni Brock na biglang sumingit sa usapan namin. We exchanged hello’s. He just came downstairs at nilapitan kami sa dining area. Tumayo siya sa likod kung saan ako nakaupo. Then he sniffed me.“May yumakap ba sa’yong ibang tao?”

Sinubukan kong amuyin ang sarili ko pero wala naman akong naamoy. Is he just joking around? I just shrugged.

“Yes, my boyfriend,” sabi ko. I almost facepalmmed. Boyfriend? Where did I get that label? Hindi pa namin napag uusapan ni Alejo kung ano ba talaga kami.

Natahimik silang dalawa sandali.

“You have a boyfriend?” gulat na tanong ni Hector.

Tumango ako at nagtaka sa reaksyon nila.

“Yup. Why? You don’t like a gay person in your house? I can just… uhh… leave,” sabi ko at tumayo.

“No, no, no! Please stay,” pagpigil ni Brock sa’kin. “You have nothing to worry here, Bryce. In fact, I’m not straight as well, while Hector’s still trying to discover his sexuality. My family doesn’t discriminate people like us, I promise.”

Good to know that they’re tolerant, and somehow it happens that they’re not straight as well. Kinabahan ako kanina sa biglang pag-amin ko.

“We get that you didn’t tell us sooner. Hindi rin namin ito masyadong napapag-usapan madalas, because we don’t really think that sexuality should be a big of a deal, ’cause regardless, all of us are born humans with equal rights,” Hector said.

“Humans?” makahulugang tanong ni Brock.

“Yes!” mariing saad ni Hector.

Kabanata 12

Kabanata 12

Dinner with the Darkpelts

Saglit lang at isa-isang nagpakita ang bawat miyembro ng pamilya nila. Starting with his mother, who just came from the kitchen, while holding a huge tray full of spring rolls.

Tumayo ako upang magpakilala.

“You must be Bryce!” pagsalubong sa’kin ng nanay ni Hector. She has a blond hair and amber eyes. Nakasuot siya ng puting night gown like those I have seen from Victorian paintings. She’s very beautiful.

“Yes po,” nahihiya kong sabi.

Pagkatapos ay bigla niya akong niyakap. I hugged her back to show some respect.

“I’m Ruth. You can call me Tita Ruth, sweetie,” aniya pagkatapos kumalas sa pagkakayakap. “Or pwede namang Ruth nalang. I heard that city kids were very Americanized these days. They call elders in first-name basis. That’s okay with me.”

I’m sure her son told her that I came from a concrete jungle before I got in this town. I shook my head to disagree.

“I still really think that calling you Tita would be very respectful. Mas okay po sa’kin yun,” sabi ko.

“Aww, Bryce! You’re so polite… how cute!” aniya at pinisil ng bahagya ang pisngi ko. I chuckled. This woman is so sweet. Bumalik ulit siya sa kusina upang kuhanin pa ang ibang pagkain.

Then, Hector’s father, who have a huge plate of pasta that could feed twenty people. Oh god, it reminds me how my mother cooks like she’s going to feed the whole town.

“Welcome to the family, Bryce,” bati niya sa akin at tinapik ako sa balikat. He’s tall like a giant, and Hector resembles his face so much. He told me that I can call him Tito Derick. “Since you’re friends with my kids, you can visit our home as much as you like, okay?”

“Salamat po,” sabi ko at umupo na ulit sa hapag. Katabi ko si Brock, at kaharap ko si Hector.

The eldest brother, Kuya Killian, came downstairs at lumapit na rin sa dining area. We greeted and introduced ourselves to each other. He seems very nice. He’s with his girlfriend, Ate Sofia, who is as equally good-looking as him. They are like match made in heaven.

Sumunod naman ang bunso nilang si Ridger na galing din sa taas. The kid ran towards me to tell its name. He’s around ten years old.

“Red hair and green eyes… uhh – are you related with Ariel the mermaid?” tanong ni Ridger sa akin.

I smiled awkwardly. I don’t know how to answer that. I’m usually afraid that if I say no to kids, I might disappoint them.

“Yeah, he is. Look oh, kakainin niya si Flounder,” Brock said and put a fish in my plate. The kid and I laughed, but the rest of people in the table are confused. Lumapit si Brock sa akin upang bumulong. “Check their faces, Bryce. Hindi nila alam yung obvious na reference. Halatang pangit yung childhood nila.”

Napailing nalang ako sa sinabi niya.

Umupo na si Ridger sa tabi ni Kuya Killian.

Brock’s parents are not here. He told me that they have some business activities outside the town, most of the time.

“Where is he?” tanong ni Tita Ruth kay Tito, parang may hinahanap pa silang isang miyembro ng pamilya nila.

“I have no idea, hon’. But I’m sure na sasabay din siya sa ating kumain,” sabi ni Tito. Tita Ruth sighed.

Hindi pa kami nagsisimulang kumain, at pagkatapos ng ilang minuto ay dumating na rin ang hinahanap nila.

I can’t believe it’s him!

Vinson is standing in his business attire a few meters away from the table. We’re both shocked to see each other.

“Come here! You’re late,” tawag ni Tita sa kaniya.

“Sorry. I was busy in my office,” paliwanag naman ni Vinson, with a stiff voice.

Lumapit din siya sa lamesa at umupo sa bakanteng upuan sa tabi ko.

“Finally, let’s eat!” sabi ni Tita Ruth at nagsimula na kaming kumain.

“Bakit parang pareho kayong nakakita ng multo?” Brock asked to the both of us habang dumadampot ng pagkain papunta sa plato niya.

How can I explain it?

“Uhh… we already met before,” sabi ko.

All eyes went to me.

“You and Vinson? Really? Saan?”

“In a music shop. We also talked for a while,” paliwanag ko. I think hindi na nila dapat malaman yung tungkol sa utang ko sa kaniya. I’ll just keep it a secret for now.

“Oh, I love that place! Doon mo pala nabili yung gitara ko, Kuya Vin,” sabi ni Brock.

“Good thing nagkakilala na kayo. No need for an introduction,” sabi naman ni Tita Ruth sa akin.

Most of them smiled about the news, and I found it a little bit creepy. Like they are secretly being happy about something that I don’t know.

“Ang liit talaga ng mundo. Minsan di natin alam na may koneksyon na pala tayo sa mga taong kakakilala palang natin,” sabi ni Kuya Killian.

“It’s called a coincidence, Kuya,” pagsingit naman ni Ridger.

“I don’t think so, Ridge. It’s fate, perhaps,” sabat naman ni Brock.

“Parang love story?” Hector asked.

I think this topic is heading to nowhere – at parang hindi ko ito nagugustuhan. That’s why took a spoonful of food and took it inside my mouth to distract myself, pero nabulunan lang ako. Kinabog ko agad ang dibdib ko.

“Bigyan niyo si Bryce ng tubig!” sigaw ni Hector at biglang napatayo sa gulat nung nakita ang kalagayan ko.

Nagsalin agad si Vinson ng tubig sa baso ko at inabot niya ito sa akin.

“Here,” aniya.

Agad ko itong tinanggap at uminom para guminhawa ang aking nararamdaman.

“Yeah. It could possibly be a love story,” sabi pa ni Kuya Killian, pagpapatuloy sa pinag-uusapan nila kanina. Then he looked at Ate Sofia with adoration in his eyes. How lovely!

All of them are watching us – me and Vinson. When they realized how awkward it is to do that, they eventually diverted their gaze into their own food.

“Thanks,” sabi ko kay Vinson.

“No problem,” aniya.

We’re done with the food. Kaunti lang ang kinain ko kumpara sa kanila. I realized how they ate too much, like they have a black hole inside their stomach. Kung titignan mo sila, parang talagang sanay sila na ganun kumain. In that case, I’m confused of two things: how can they still maintain a good body shape? And, how can they still eat with a class? Usually kasi kapag gutom ako, at marami akong kinakain, nagiging makalat ako. It’s weird that they ate their food so neatly like it is just a one-spoon dish from an expensive restaurant.

God, I’m overthinking again! I have to drain these thoughs out of my mind.

“We’re not done yet. It’s time for red wine,” sabi ni Hector. He went to the kitchen, para kuhanin ang isang malaking bote ng inumin. Mukha itong mamahalin.

“I’ll go get some goblets,” sabi naman ni Tita Ruth at pumunta rin sa kusina para bigyan kami isa-isa ng wine glass. It seems like they don’t want to use the glass we had for water.

“Hala. Hindi ako umiinom,” sabi ko.

“Just a few sips, Bryce. Hindi ka malalasing,” pagkumbinsi sa’kin ni Brock.

“Magugustuhan mo ’to. It is actually from La Rioja, the place where best red wines come from,” Hector said as he open the seal.

“From a foreign place? Sounds fancy to me,” sabi ko naman.

“Yup! It’s from Spain, actually. I always like anything Spanish, Bryce,” sabi ni Hector sabay salin ng wine sa akin.

“Porque contigo yo ya iskuji?” Brock joked, and Hector gave him a sharp glare.

“Not funny,” Hector said.

I tasted it and its okay. Not my kind of drink. Maybe because I’m not used to expensive things – especially red wine.

Somehow, I remembered Alejo when he once mentioned that he’s half Spanish. Hindi niya ’to madalas ipagsabi kahit halata naman sa kaniya. It is because his Spanish father left him for another family. He despised his foreign blood so much that he wants to forget that he has it running through his veins.

Napahaba ang usapin namin. Most of our topics are about me. I told them about my mother’s diner and some comical things I’ve experience when I was in high school. I also told them a bit of information about Alejo. I feel kinda bad telling them that we’re official, but in reality, hindi pa kami nasa ganoong lebel. We’re still waiting for the right time.

Tahimik lang si Vinson. Madalas kapag lumilingon ako sa kaniya, nahuhuli ko siyang nakatitig sa’kin.

Natapos na kaming kumain at isa-isa silang nagtulungan na iligpit ang mesa.

Nagpresenta akong tumulong pero agad akong pinigilan ni Vinson.

“You’re a visitor, Bryce. Huwag mo na kaming tulungan,” aniya at inagaw sa’kin ang gamit kong plato at ipinatong ito sa kaniya.

“He’s right. Huwag mong pagurin ang sarili mo, kamahalan,” pagsingit ni Brock at yumuko sa harap ko.

“Bagay sa’yo ’yan, Brock. Mukha kang alipin. Lalo na’t wala ka pang manners sa lamesa,” Hector said while wiping his mouth with a tissue.

Umismid si Brock.

“Bago ka umuwi, would you like us to give you a little tour in our house?” tanong sa’kin ni Hector.

“That’s a good idea! Since madalas ka naming iimbitahan dito sa susunod,” pagsang-ayon naman ni Brock.

Tumango lang ako at pumayag sa gusto nila.

“Alright!… Uhh, di ko lang alam kung saan tayo magsisimula,” sabi ni Hector at napakamot sa kaniyang batok.

Sobrang laki ng mansyon nila, at sigurado akong marami itong mga silid. Di na ako nagtaka kung bakit siya nahihirapang mag-isip kung saan kami unang pupunta.

“Gusto ko sanang ipakita sa’yo yung kwarto ko, pero magulo pa siya sa ngayon,” sabi ni Brock sa akin.

“It’s not something new, Brock. Your room is always messy,” sabi naman ni Hector kaya tinignan siya ni Brock ng masama. “You know, I always keep my room clean and organized. Maybe we should go there— ouch!”

I saw how Brock stepped on Hector’s foot. I had a secondhand pain just by witnessing it.

“Sorry, di ko sinasadya,” aniya at tinanggal na ang kaniyang paa. “Alam mo, Bryce, magandang puntahan yung kwarto ni Kuya Vinson. It’s huge and full of his amazing artworks. I’m sure you would love to take a look inside.”

Oh… Vinson’s an artist.

Umiling ako.

“I don’t think it’s okay, Brock. Pribadong silid ng kuya niyo ’yan. Nakakahiya,” sabi ko.

Then I felt someone standing behind me. I slightly jumped in surprise when I turned around and saw Vinson’s face.

“It’s fine with me… If you’d like, pwede ko kayong samahan,” sabi ni Vinson.

Now, we have his word of approval. Tumango nalang ako. I’m just a visitor here and I think its rude to decline it.

Kabanata 13

Kabanata 13

Painting

“Perfect! Now, let’s go!” Brock said excitedly, tsaka niya ako hinila paakyat sa pangalawang palapag ng mansyon nila.

Sumunod naman sina Hector at Vinson.

May mga bagay na gusto kong sabihin at itanong kay Vinson – na ilang beses ko siyang tinawagan dati para makipagkita at bayaran ang utang ko. Nag-iwan din ako ng maraming mensahe, pero wala man lang akong natanggap na reply. Bakit hindi siya nagpaparamdam sa akin ng ilang araw? – At nakakatawa lang dito pa pala kami sa bahay niya magkikita sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon! How funny.

Hindi pa ito ang oras para kumprontahin siya. Kailangan ko ng magandang tiyempo.

Nakaakyat na kami. Sa palapag na ito ay maraming nakahilerang mga malalaking pinto sa corridor, at pumunta kami malapit sa pinakadulo. Punong-puno ng mga antigong dekorasyon sa paligid na bumagay naman sa moderno nitong pangunahing tema.

Most of the things I’ve seen everywhere are the wolf statues in different styles. Some are made of wood, some are brass, and a few are made of jade. Like it is their family’s obsession to collect these kind of things. There are also moon lamps and figurines.

We made our way inside a room. No way. This is almost as big as my entire house. This place looks like a huge art studio filled with lots of realistic paintings – heavily inspired by baroque.

“Behold, the room of our family’s greatest artist!” si Brock habang nakahawak pa rin sa akin. Nakatingin siya sa mukha ko upang panoorin ang magiging reaksyon.

Matindi ang pagkamangha ko habang nililibot ko ang aking paningin sa paligid. Most of the paintings’ subjects are wolves, moon, night in the forest, and the Darkpelt family. As if these things have connections with each other.

There’s a huge bed at the center end of the room with a few cabinets. Meron din siyang desk at malaking shelf ng mga libro. His room is unusual but I would say that it has a great harmony. Everything is just so pleasing in the eyes. It is giving an ‘obsessed-artist’ vibe.

“Anong masasabi mo, Bryce?” tanong ni Hector.

“Come on, say it! Everything here is beautiful, right?” Brock said excitedly.

“Yeah. Sobrang ganda,” sabi ko habang sinusuri ng maigi ang mga gawa ni Vinson.

Napapalakpak si Brock sa tuwa. He’s seems very proud of his cousin.

“Glad you liked it,” sabi ni Vinson sa likod ko.

Lumingon ako sa kaniya.

“Oo. Nakakamangha yung talento mo, Vins– I mean, Kuya Vinson,” sabi ko.

I just realized that all this time I forgot how old he is.

“Drop the ‘kuya’, please. Kahit Vinson nalang,” sabi niya sa akin.

“Alright,” tipid kong tugon at ibinalik ang tingin sa mga paintings. Ayokong tumitig ng matagal sa mga mata niyang parang dagat – nakakalunod.

In the corner of the room, there is a mysterious thing covered in a white blanket. I can see its feet which tells clearly that it is an easel. It looks like there is a secret painting behind it that Vinson doesn’t want to show to anyone.

“What’s that, Kuya?” tanong ni Hector sabay turo niya sa bagay na tinutukoy ko. Mukhang pareho kaming kuryoso kung anuman iyon.

“It’s just a painting,” aniya at lahat kami ay natahimik saglit. We’re still wondering what it looks like.

𓃥

Pinuntahan ko rin ang kwarto nina Brock at Hector. Everything looks so nice and expensive. Nagustuhan ko pa rin ang bedroom ni Brock kahit medyo makalat gaya ng inaasahan ko.

Bago ako umalis, pumunta muna ako sa comfort room nila. Ihahatid ako ni Vinson pauwi at ngayon ay hinahanda na niya ang sasakyan.

Matagal akong nakatitig sa salamin. Tinitignan ko ang aking sarili kung may mali ba sa akin, dahil kanina ko pa nararamdaman ang pagtitig ni Vinson sa akin. Sa tuwing nahuhuli ko siya, napapaiwas siya ng tingin. Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan ay kung bakit may bakas ng matinding lungkot sa kaniyang mukha.

Huminga ako ng malalim. Baka guni-guni ko lang ito.

Pumunta na ako sa labas kung saan naghihintay silang lahat. There is a hummer outside, waiting for me.

“Bye, Bryce. Mag-ingat kayo sa pag-uwi,” pagpapaalam ni Hector bago ako pagbuksan ni Vinson ng pinto sa front seat. Pumasok na ako at sumunod siya.

He started the engine and we drove away.

We’re just dead silent for the first few minutes. Walang may gustong magsalita, hanggang sa may naalala ako.

“Vinson.”

“Yes?”

“Naaalala mo pa ba yung utang ko sa’yo?”

Hindi siya umimik.

“Well, sinubukan kitang tawagan gamit yung number mo. Sinasagot mo naman pero di ka nagsasalita. It happened, multiple times. May problema ka ba sa signal?”

“Hindi.”

“Kung gano’n, bakit hindi ka nagsasalita sa tawag ko?”

“Masyado pang maaga para magbayad, Bryce,” paliwanag niya.

So lame. Pwede naman niyang sabihin sa’kin kaysa manatili siyang tahimik sa kabilang linya. All I heard was just his breaths.

“What do you mean?”

“I just want you to take your time to pay it off. No pressure.”

“Hindi ako nape-pressure, Vinson. Meron na akong pambayad.”

“Are you going to pay it, right now?”

Natahimik ako. Hindi ko dala ang pambayad ko ngayon. Malay ko ba na magkikita kami?

“Take your time, Bryce,” pag-uulit niya.

“Well, pwede naman kitang bayaran sa susunod. Pag-usapan natin ngayon kung kailan at saan,” sabi ko.

Napatingin siya sa akin habang napapa-isip. Bigla akong kinabahan.

“Eyes on the road!” utos ko na agad naman niyang sinunod. There is a possibility that we would hit a tree or a dear.

“Sorry,” aniya.

Medyo sumama yung pakiramdam ko noong tinaasan ko siya ng boses.

I heard him sighed.

“How about your mother’s diner? Gusto mo bang doon nalang tayo magkita?” he suggested.

Inisip ko muna kung okay lang. Kaso, makikita kami panigurado nina Mama at Alejo at baka kung ano pang malisya ang isipin nila. It’s not a good place.

“Mas mabuti kung sa iba nalang,” sabi ko naman.

“Paano kung sa office ko nalang?”

“Saan?”

Agad siyang huminto sa gilid ng kalsada. All we can hear are loud crickets and frogs. Nakakabingi.

“Here,” aniya at may inabot sa’king card.

It is a business card with his personal information, including the location of his office.

“Alright… Sure… Salamat,” matipid kong sambit.

“No problem. If you’d like, susunduin kita.”

“No. I’m fine. Kaya ko nang pumunta mag-isa.”

Binuksan na niya ulit ang makina at nagpatuloy na sa kalsada.

Habang binabaybay namin ang kakahuyan, hindi ko mapigilang mapatingin sa kaniya at panoorin siya habang nagmamaneho. With his sleeves folded to his elbow, I can see his strong-looking hands and forearms with veins.

Nakapokus ang kaniyang mga mata sa harap, habang may seryosong mukha. Sometimes I caught his jaw clenching. Ang pinaka-agaw pansin sa kaniya ay ang mga bughaw na mata at matangos na ilong. His features are god-like. He could intimidate anyone just by his looks.

Para kong pinag-aaralan ng maigi ang kaniyang hitsura.

“Bakit?” tanong niya sa’kin habang nakatingin pa rin sa daan. Mukhang napansin niya ang pagtitig ko.

“W-Wala lang.”

Shit.

Umiwas na ako agad ng tingin. I heard him snickered. Feeling ko natutuwa ang ego niya.

Tinuro ko lahat ng direction papunta sa bahay namin. We stopped in front of my house, sa tabi ng lawa. Sa liwanag buwan, ang tubig nito’y nagniningning.

“Nice view,” puri ni Vinson habang nakatanaw sa bintana ng sasakyan.

“Yeah.”

Tumitig din ako sa labas ng ilang segundo upang pagmasdan ang kagandahan ng aming paligid. Ang swerte ko talaga dahil dito ako nakatira.

“Bababa na ’ko,” pagpapaalam ko.

“No. Wait!”

He grabbed my hand to stop me. I watched him

“I want to give you something,” aniya.

May bagay na kinuha siya sa backseat. Kwadrado at nakabalot ito ng puting tela. Mukhang ito kanina yung bagay sa kwarto niya na kuryoso ako kung ano ito.

“Para sa’yo ’to,” aniya at inabot sa akin ang hawak niya. Tinanggap ko naman ito.

“Ano ’to?” tanong ko.

“Open it,” sagot nya.

Oo nga naman, Bryce. Bakit di mo nalang buksan para malaman mo?

Unti-unti ko itong binuksan. Namilog ang aking mga mata. Nakita ko ang painting ng aking sarili na nakangiti habang suot ang damit ko noong pumunta ako sa music shop.

He captured a moment of me and kept it inside his mind to paint me like this. What the hell.

I’m so speechless for a minute.

“Bakit? What’s this for?” tanong ko.

Of course, confusion ang una kong naramdaman dahil iniisip ko kung bakit nag-effort siya ng ganito para sa’kin. Don’t get me wrong. Nagustuhan ko ito ng sobra… pero bakit?

“You already know that I always paint, right? But sometimes, nawawalan ako ng ideya kung ano yung ipipinta ko. Then, I remembered how you smiled at me in the music shop when I gave you the album you’re looking for… I–uhh… tried my best to memorize your face because I just think it would be a nice subject for an art,” he explained. Slightly nervous. I smiled at him to acknowledge how much I liked it.

This is too much! Andami na niyang ginawa para sa’kin. Una, binayaran niya ang binili ko sa music shop. Pangalawa, binigyan niya ako ng painting na may portrait ko. Ano? House and lot na ba ang next?

“Thanks,” I muttered with a crack in my voice.

I wonder kung nabigyan niya na rin ng ganito yung babaeng kasama niya dati sa kakahuyan.

“Like the Arctic Monkeys songs, it can boost your vanity. The painting will always remind you about your pretty face whenever you look at it.”

He’s insane. He just said I have a pretty face, gaya rin ng madalas na sinasabi ng iba sa’kin, pero iba talaga kapag sa kaniya mismo nanggaling.

Just imagine how he painted this for me. Kinabisado niya ang bawat detalye ng aking mukha sa maikli naming pagkikita. Oh, being admired by an artist!

It’s obvious that he likes me. I’m starting wonder if he dump his last girl para lang i-pursue ako – gosh! Such a comical thought. Masyado na yata akong asyumero.

Hindi ko kaya na i-reject siya agad, just because I am more looking forward to have Alejo as my possible boyfriend. Vinson is kind and I still owe him a lot, kaya ayoko pang sabihin sa kaniya ang totoo hangga’t hindi pa kaming dalawa ni Alejo.

“You don’t have to do this, you know?” sabi ko sa kaniya at ngumiti. May panibago nanaman akong utang na loob sa kaniya. “Hindi ko nirequest sa’yo na gawin ’to, but I really appreciate this very much. Babawi ako sa’yo.”

Ngumiti siya, and it soften his gorgeously intimidating face. At that moment, his brutal-looking face went as charming as a sunshine.

Binuksan ko na yung pinto upang makalabas.

“Thanks for having dinner with us, Bryce,” aniya bago ko isarado ang pinto.

“No, Vinson. Ako dapat ang magpasalamat. I just spent a great time with your family.”

“You’re always welcome to our home. Anytime.”

Then, we both bid our goodbyes. Napagod ako ngayong gabi.

Kabanata 14

Kabanata 14

Howls

“Sigurado ka? Kaya mo ’tong ayusin hanggang ngayong araw lang?” tanong ni Mama kay Alejo na kasalukuyang kinukumpuni ang sirang oven namin sa kusina.

“Yup. Wala po ba kayong tiwala sa’kin, Ma’am?” sabi ni Alejo na may matinding kumpyansa sa sarili.

My mother broke her kitchen equipment clearly because she cooks a lot of food everyday. Patunay lang din ang maraming leftovers sa loob ng fridge namin. Malamang, dahil dito, sumuko na ng tuluyan ang oven niya.

Kanina pa balisa si Mama. Pabalik-balik ang lakad niya sa kusina. Habang ako naman ay nakahawak sa librong White Nights ni Dostoevsky habang nakatayo at nakasandal ang aking baywang sa lababo. I’m looking forward to finish this book today, para mamayang gabi ay may time pa akong mag-aral.

“I need to breath. Lalabas lang ako,” aniya at tuluyan na kaming iniwan ni Alejo.

Napailing nalang ako sa pag-akto niya at nagpatuloy nalang ako sa pagbabasa.

In my peripheral vision, I saw Alejo staring at me while wiping his tools with a piece of cloth. Dahil dito, nawawalan ako ng focus sa ginagawa ko.

Tumingin ako pabalik sa kaniya.

“Stop pretending, Bryce. Nandito ka panoorin ako,” aniya na may ngisi sa kaniyang labi.

“Huwag kang masyadong asyumero, ’no. I’m here because I need to look after you while you’re working. Baka makuryente ka sa ginagawa mo,” paliwanag ko.

He smirked even more because he learned how lame my excuse is.

“Thanks for the concern, babe. But the oven is unplugged. Malabong makuryente ako dito,” aniya at tsaka tinuro ang ikalawang palapag habang hawak ang screwdriver. “Go upstairs at doon ka magbasa. Hindi ko kailangan ng kahit anong tulong. I’m fine working alone.”

Natawa ako sa attitude niya ngayon.

“Nagseselos ka ba sa libro, Alejo?”

Hindi siya sumagot, ngunit agad siyang sumimangot.

“Aww. Don’t be mad at my book, please. In fact, dito ko nga ginagamit yung bookmark na binigay mo sa’kin, eh. Look,” sabi ko sabay angat sa crochet bookmark na niregalo niya sa’kin. The more I look at it, the more I realize how inconsistent the way he crocheted it.

Napatingin siya.

“Well, I’m glad that you’re using it. Pero tingin mo ba mas interesante pang titigan ang libro kaysa dito?” mayabang niyang tanong.

Inangat niya ang kaniyang braso para i-flex ang biceps niya. I chuckled again.

“Okay, itatabi ko na ’to,” sabi ko at tsaka sinarado ang libro ko at tinitigan ang biceps niya.

He laughed.

“Seriously, kung abala ka sa pagbabasa, bakit ka nandito?” tanong niya.

“Para pasimpleng panoorin ka. Yung tipong hindi mahahalata ni Mama. It’s weird to let my mom see me being intimate with another guy,” paliwanag ko.

He looked at me with trust in his eyes.

“But then, I realized, ano nga ba yung bagay na tinatago ko kay Mama, eh hindi ko pa nga alam kung ano ba talaga tayo, eh. Are we fuck buddies? Kasi hindi naman talaga kita boyfriend pero may nangyayari na sa’tin. Don’t you find it weird?”

Hindi ko pa nasasabi sa kaniya na alam na ni Mama ang tungkol sa’min. Well, I think it is a good decision, dahil baka magulat siya at hindi na niya ituloy ang pagpursue sa’kin. It’s better this way, for now.

He went silent for a few seconds, trying to decode something inside his head. Tapos tumango siya.

“Yeah, I guess. Naiintindihan ko ang ibig mong sabihin,” aniya.

Wala na siyang dinugtong sa sinabi niya at agad siyang yumuko para magpatuloy sa pagkumpuni ng malaki naming oven.

Nabitin ako. Pakiramdam ko ay may dapat siyang sabihin sa’kin na hindi niya sinabi. He just brushed off the fact that there’s no clarification about what’s between us.

I guess some things are meant to not to talk about.

𓃥

I can’t sleep.

Napagod na ang utak ko sa pagrereview pero hindi pa rin ako inaantok. Maybe I’m not tired enough. Kailangan ko pang mag-isip ng gagawin.

I stared at the painting Vinson gave me. Hindi ako makapaniwalang ginawa niya ito para sa’kin. Namamangha pa rin ako sa talento niya.

I opened my laptop to do some research about their family. Kaunting mga artikulo lang ang lumitaw. Pare-pareho lang ang mga impomasyon. Sinasabi lang na mayaman sila at nagmamay-ari ng mga malalaking kumpanya.

Kahit gano’n, batid kong hindi sila basta mayaman lang. They must be the family who funds my prestigious school. Naniniwala ako sa hinala kong ito.

The school and town is literally named after them. Darkpelt. That clearly shows how much power they hold.

In the middle of the night, I heard howls from a distance. Agad akong tumakbo sa bintana upang tanawin kung saan ito nanggagaling.

Sa matinding liwanag ng buwan, nakita ko ang isang itim na lobong palapit sa tapat ng bahay namin. Ika-ika ito habang nakataas ang isang binti sa harap na parang may sugat ito.

Without any hesitation, I ran downstairs to grab our first aid kit and went outside.

Doon ay nakita ko ng mas malapitan ang lobo. Its large body and dark fur looks majestic with the faint reflected light from the sparkling water of the lake. Its calm blue eyes is looking at me with mixed fear and pain.

“Huwag kang matakot… I’m here to help you, okay?” I said as if the animal would understand it.

The wolf whimpered and sat in front of me. I think I’m gaining its trust.

Lumapit ako ng dahan-dahan at yumuko sa harap niya. Nilapag ko ang first aid kit at binuksan ito. Nilabas ko ang cellphone ko galing sa bulsa at binuksan ang flashlight upang makita ng maigi ang sugat nito sa paa. Dumudugo ito.

I softly held the wolf’s large paw and started to clean the wound. Mahina itong umuungol sa tuwing dumadampi ang bulak na may alcohol sa kaniya. Pagkatapos ay nilagyan ko na ito ng bandage.

“There. Gagaling din ’yan,” sabi ko at binitawan na ang kaniyang paa.

I have a feeling that the wound is cause by a trap hidden in the forest. I guess I have to be very careful going out there.

Umatras ako upang hayaan siya na lumayo. But instead of running away, the wolf went near and nudged his head against my leg. Maybe it is a way of thanking me.

Binaba ko ang aking kamay sa kaniyang ulo at dahan-dahang hinaplos ang malambot nitong balahibo. It feels warm. There are also tingles that I felt in my palms that I can’t explain. It gives a weirdly satisfying sensation It makes me more wanting to touch its fur.

In the middle of the moment, my phone rang loudly. Biglang napaatras ang lobo at mabilis itong lumayo kahit paika-ika.

I checked the screen and it was Alejo. Agad ko naman itong sinagot.

“Hello?” I greeted.

“Hello, Bryce! Hindi ako makatulog. I can’t stop thinking about what you said to me earlier. About us.”

“Hmm… Okay? Ano naman ang meron dun, Al?”

“Yeah, I know that we haven’t been labeled as anything, yet we’ve done a lot of intimate stuffs… so I think it’s time.”

Time for what?

He sounds like he’s trying to catch some air desperately.

Hindi ako nagsalita. Hinayaan ko lang siya na magpatuloy sa kaniyang sasabihin.

“I know it’s very lame to ask you on a phone in a middle of the night, but can I be your boyfriend? I’ve always wanted you, Bryce. Tama ka… Kailangan nating linawin kung ano ba talaga tayo.”

Wait. Tama ba yung narinig ko? He wants me to be his boyfriend right now?

I gasped. Is this real? Am I going to be in a relationship with someone, from now on?

Huminga ako ng malalim at piniling patagalin ang aking sagot. I need to be very sure about my decision. Then, I finally came to a very sure answer.

“Yes, Alejo. I want you to be my boyfriend,” I simply answered.

I really think its time to level things up.

Tahimik siya at ang mga malalalim na paghinga lang niya ang naririnig ko. Without even seing his face, I know, he’s very happy. It took him almost a minute to process my answer.

“Thanks for saying yes to me, Bryce. I promise, I’ll try my best to be a good boyfriend to you,” he promised.

After that, I heard a howl from a distance again. Like a cry of pain. Inisip na baka guni-guni ko lang kasi natapos ko nang tulungan yung lobo kanina sa kaniyang sugat. Napakamot nalang ako sa noo at pumasok na sa loob.

Kabanata 15

Kabanata 15

Heal With Love

and Acceptance

“Have you heard the news?” tanong sa’kin ni Hector pagkaupo namin sa table namin sa cafeteria. It’s lunchtime and Brock is going to join us. Nagpunta lang siya sa comfort room para maghugas ng kamay.

“What news?” tanong ko.

The way he said it, kinda feels like he’s going to tell me some sort of a non-sense gossip about random people. But because it’s Hector, sigurado akong seryosong usapin ito.

“Well, the whole student council were impeached because they initiated hazing acts in their respective frats and sororities. Lahat sila, sinibak sa pwesto.”

This is why I’m afraid to join in this kind of brotherhood.

“Grabe, ang saklap din naman kasi ng ginawa nila. Bad news, no one’s gonna lead the school for now,” sabi ko naman.

“I don’t think it’s a bad news, Bryce. It could be the other way around for me.”

“Anong ibig mong sabihin?”

“It’s a great opportunity for me,” aniya at makahulugang ngumiti.

I just gave him a puzzled look, then Brock came to our table and sat down with us.

“Anong meron?” pagsingit ni Brock na kakarating lang sa table namin.

“I’m just telling him the recent issue about the student council,” sagot naman ni Hector.

Brock gave us a bored look as he sat down. He doesn’t seem to care about it.

“So paano mo naman nasabing magandang balita ’yun, Hector?” tanong ko.

“Magkakaroon ulit ng eleksyon.”

“So?”

“I am planning to run for president.”

Huh? What the hell.

“Are you serious? Hindi ba parang masyado pang maaga para diyan? You’re still a freshman, and the presidency should be a senior’s job.”

“I don’t think so. Bet I’m smarter than most seniors out there,” he said surely. “Just because they’re older, doesn’t mean they could be leaders… And by the way, I am planning to select you as my vice president. How’s that?” aniya.

“Nagbibiro ka ba?”

Umirap siya sa’kin.

“Most of the time, I look like a fucking joke to everyone, but I’m dead serious, Bryce! We can be great partners,” he explained. Ngumiti siya, hoping na pumayag ako. “You and me, having the highest position in the student council. Doesn’t it sound nice? Ano sa tingin mo?”

Napangiwi lang ako. Hindi pa rin ako kumbinsido tungkol dito.

I’m still a freshman. If Hector can do the governing stuff ng ganito kaaga, I’m certainly not. I have no power like him. No money, no fame. I’m one of the least people to be expected as a part of the student government. Kahit pa naranasan kong maging classroom president noong high school, doesn’t mean I’m still capable to do it in college. Malalakas na tao ang mga makakabangga ko rito.

“Come on, give me an answer. Bilis!” pagmamakaawa niya.

I sighed.

“Bakit hindi mo tanungin si Brock? Maybe he’s interested,” sabi ko.

Napatingin sa akin si Brock na may gulat sa kaniyang mukha. He shook his head, telling me that he doesn’t want me to convince Hector to get him involved in this situation.

“Alam kong hindi siya interesado,” Hector said without even looking at Brock.

“How did you know? Natanong mo na ba siya?” sabi ko.

“Hindi niyo na ako kailangang tanungin,” pagsingit ni Brock. Then with a sassy voice he said, “It’s a no for me.”

“Why don’t you give it a try? Everyone in this school likes you. Magiging malaking asset ka ni Hector,” sabi ko sa kaniya. Oh, please. Sana pumayag na siya. Ayoko nang pilitin pa ni Hector at baka mag-away pa kami.

“It sounds like he’s using me for his own interest. Cut me some slack, please!” aniya and took another bite of his burger.

“Let’s say you won as a vice president of this school, ano ang magiging plataporma mo?” tanong ni Hector kay Brock. Napangiwi si Brock pero inayos niya rin ang mukha niya.

“If I am going to be the vice president, my plan is to end the world hunger,” sabi ni Brock, with the determination in his face while pointing his finger up.

“Brock… Umm. That’s not how it works. School lang ang sakop mo. You don’t have to go that far,” sabi ko sa kaniya. His ambition is unattainable.

“Gosh, I’ll be doomed! If he’s going to beat the world hunger, I’m going to beat his ass,” Hector said to me.

“See? This is why I’m not fitting for a vice president – o kahit anong position pa. Kahit dog style pa ’yan or missionary,” he said. I faceplammed with his sudden joke, and I’m sure Hector did the same thing. “I’m so stupid for this, okay?”

Then he took another bite. Big enough to fit the whole food in his mouth.

May pagkadismaya sa hitsura ni Hector. Mukha rin siyang bigung-bigo.

I feel sorry for him. The whole school thinks that he could pass as a dictator when he becomes the president. Everyone hates him. Sigurado naman ako na batid ng karamihan na magaling si Hector, at sapat na ang kaniyang katalinuhan upang mamuno, but people found him very unlikeable. In the end, the most charismatic one wins, and there is a hundred percent that Hector may lose the position that he wants. Hindi pa naman siya tumatanggap ng failure.

“Ang lalim ng iniisip mo, Bryce. Nag-o-overthink ka ba?” tanong sa’kin no Hector. With his eager tone of questioning, I feel like I’m in a fast talk show. “Are you worrying about something? Is it about your boyfriend? Iniisip mo ba na kapag naging part ka ng student council, mawawalan ka na ng oras sa kaniya.”

Napailing ako.

“Is he really worth your time?” tanong pa niya.

Hindi ko iyon sinagot.

“How sweet is Alejo, by the way? Sa tingin mo ba, siya na yung pinaka-best na lalaki para sa’yo, that’s why you’re afraid to lose him?”

Why is he asking me a lot of questions for just a short amount of time?

“I don’t know,” medyo pakipot kong saad.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kanila, because they’re smiling widely like their mouths are tearing their heads into halves.

Sa totoo lang, may parte sa akin ang natutuwa. Finally, hindi na ako nagsisinungaling sa mga pagkakataong mababanggit ko sa kanila na boyfriend ko si Alejo. Totoo na talagang kami na.

“Aww. He’s shy,” panloloko ni Brock.

“Come on, Bryce! Bihira ka lang magkwento. Give us some infos, please?” pagmamakaawa ni Hector.

“Pwede ba tayong bumalik sa topic kanina? Yung about sa student council?” I said.

“Nah! Don’t get back to that topic. Interesado na kami tungkol sa boyfriend mo,” sabi naman ni Brock.

Even Hector agreed.

Oh, God! Bakit ba ako palaging sumasama sa dalawang ’to?

𓃥

“Kumain ka na?” tanong sa’kin ni Alejo. He’s calling me in the middle of the night. Gusto lang daw niyang malaman ang naging araw ko.

“Yup, how about you?”

“Me too… Why do you sound a bit frustrated?”

Really? I didn’t notice that.

“I don’t know. Siguro pagod lang ako,” sagot ko. Araw-araw naman akong pagod, maliban nalang kung walang pasok. College always draining people’s energy to the extent. “Or maybe kasi napasobra yung kain ko ng hapunan. Medyo masakit yung tiyan ko. Alam mo bang nung nagawa mo yung oven, napapadalas na yung pagluluto ni Mama ng roasted turkey? Gosh, ang hirap kayang ubusin no’n. Dalawa lang kaming kumakain. Naghihinayang lang ako sa tira kaya dinadamihan ko yung kain ko.”

Tumawa siya.

“Don’t tell me you’re blaming me about your frustrations just because I helped your mother,” aniya.

“No, not at all. My mother is just addicted to cooking. Yun talaga yung dahilan. Sakit na niya siguro ’yon.”

Our late night talk went for hours. Nakalimutan ko nang magreview dahil naaaliw ako sa mga pinag-uusapan namin. I’m happy that we always have good conversations, and I think that will strengthen our relationship even more.

Sa gitna ng pag-uusap namin. Bigla akong napahikab.

“Inaantok ka na?”

“Yeah. But we can still talk, you know? Sanay na yung katawan ko sa pagpupuyat.”

“No, Bryce. You need to take a rest. We’ll continue our talk kapag nagkita ulit tayo.”

He’s right. Isa pa, kailangan ko ring gumising ng maaga bukas para pumasok.

“Goodnight, love. Sweet dreams.”

“You too, Al– I mean, love. Talk to you soon.”

Pinatay na namin ang tawag.

𓃥

That night, nanaginip ako.

I saw the black wolf, again – the one who showed up wounded in front of my house, last night. It was lying in front of me, howling in pain.

Tinignan ko ang sugat nito sa paa. It is completely healed up.

“Hush, now… Don’t worry. Wala ka nang sugat. Okay ka na.”

Walang tigil pa rin siya sa pag-ungol na tila umiiyak. Then the wolf looked at me softly directly to my eyes, as if it is pleading for something.

Then suddenly, I heard a whisper in my ears. It sounds like a man. I have no idea where it came from.

“There are wounds that can’t be seen, Bryce. They have pain that lingers for a very long time. It can’t be healed by bandage, but only with love and acceptance,” ani ng boses sa akin.

Doon ay nagising ako agad at napatulala sa kisame. Buong araw kong hindi nakalimutan ang panaginip na iyon.

Kabanata 16

Kabanata 16

Rejection

I texted Vinson to inform that I’ll visit him in his office after the school hours. Gusto ko nang bayaran ang utang ko sa kaniya. Isa pa kasi yun sa mga dumadagdag sa isip ko.

“Sigurado ka, ayaw mong ihatid ka namin sa pupuntahan mo?” tanong sa’kin ni Brock habang naglalakad kami sa corridor. Uwian na namin at nasa parking lot kami ng campus.

Since I got closer to the Darkpelts, hinahatid na nila ako pauwi araw-araw gamit ang sasakyan ni Brock. Noong una, sinusubukan ko siyang bayaran pero mariin niya itong tinatanggi. Maybe he’s too rich to accept my payment for a fare. Gusto ko lang namang maging patas sa kaniya.

“Yup. Pwede niyo na akong iwan dito. I’ll be fine,” sabi ko.

I’ve been a city boy before, and going to different places without getting lost is one of my skills. Basta nakaprepare lang ang phone ko in case na kailangan kong gumamit ng google maps.

“May nafi-feel akong kakaiba, Bryce. Hmm… Are you going to meet someone?” usisa ni Hector. Pakiramdam ko’y naghihinala siyang may tinatago ako.

Umiling ako.

“Weh? Kung gano’n, bakit ayaw mong ihatid ka namin sa pupuntahan mo?” tanong pa niya ulit.

“Wala lang. It’s something personal, okay? I’m not going to share anything about it, so you guys must go!” sagot ko naman.

“Don’t be so clueless, Hec. For sure, si Alejo lang yung pupuntahan niyan. Ayaw niya lang sabihin. They need some privacy,” Brock said and wiggled his brows.

Hector chuckled as if he knows what Brock means. Napakunot ako ng noo dahil sa kanilang dalawa.

“Privacy for what?” pagmamaang-maangang tanong ni Hector.

“To have sex,” sagot ni Brock.

“Mga baliw!” pagsingit ko sa kanila.

These damn nosy cousins!

I raised my middle finger to them and they both laughed. Hindi ako makapaniwalang sa pagkakataong ’to ay sinakyan ni Hector ang maruming pag-iisip ni Brock.

“You need to cleanse your brain, Hector. Nahahawa ka na sa pinsan mo,” sabi ko. He laughed.

“Ayaw mo kasing sabihin yung totoo,” aniya.

They are getting nosy about my boyfriend. Pakiramdam ko’y kating-kati na silang makilala siya.

Sa ngayon, pagbibigyan ko muna sila sa mga hinala nila. Mas mabuti na ’yon kaysa malaman nila kung ano ang totoo.

“Bye, Bryce! Ingat ka,” pagpapaalam ni Brock.

“You too. Drive safely,” sabi ko hanggang sa umalis na sila.

𓃥

At the very heart of downtown, near the municipal hall, there is a twelve storey building where Vinson’s office is located. Sa tingin ko, ito na yata ang pinakamalaking establisyemento sa maliit na bayan na ’to.

Nasa tapat na ako ng building. For a moment, my hands felt cold. I think its because the season is starting to transition from fall to winter. Pinagkuskos ko ang aking mga palad para makagawa ng init bago ako pumasok sa loob.

I approached the lady in the information desk to ask where Vinson is.

“His office is on the very top floor, Sir. Meron po ba kayong appointed meeting sa boss namin?”

Oh, he’s the boss in this building. Did he mention it when I had a dinner with them? Wala akong maalala, eh. Akala ko kasi empleyado lang siya dito. But that’s a really absurd thought, considering how rich they are. I suppose to know that they own large things like this building.

“I guess… Napag-usapan lang kasi namin casually. Sinendan ko rin siya ng text message kanina para sabihin na pupunta ako ngayon.”

Hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin akong natatanggap na reply galing Vinson. Hindi ko tuloy malaman kung okay lang sa kaniya na ngayon ako bibisita.

“Just to make sure, tatawagan ko po muna sila. By the way, what’s your name?” tanong niya sa’kin.

“Bryce.”

“Okay, thanks. Maghintay ka lang diyan saglit,” sabi sa’kin ng babae bago kunin ang telepono sa kaniyang desk.

Sinabi niya sa taong nasa kabilang linya ang tungkol sa pagpunta ko. Saglit lang sila nag-usap hanggang sa binaba na niya ang tawag.

“Sorry, Sir. Sabi ng sekretarya niya, wala raw siyang naka-set na meeting ngayon.

“But can I still go inside?”

“No, Sir. We’re not allowed to let an unauthorized person to enter his office room.”

Pero ti-next ko na siya kanina. Hindi ba niya nabasa?

Ah, bahala na.

“Ahh… Alright. Sige. Aalis nalang po ako,” sabi ko at tumalikod na.

Nakahakbang na ako palabas ng building, bago ko narinig ang mabibigat at matulin na tunog ng takong. Lumingon ako at nakita ang babae sa information desk na tumatakbo papunta sa’kin. Hinihingal siya noong nakalapit na siya.

“Sir Bryce, tumawag po ulit yung secretary ng boss namin. Kailangan daw po namin kayong papasukin. He is really expecting you to be there. I’m very sorry for not letting you in a while ago,” sabi sa’kin ng babae.

“Ah, okay lang… Thank you,” sabi ko.

May isa pang babae ang nag approach sa akin at sinamahan ako pataas gamit ang elevator. Sa pinakataas na palapag, iisa lang ang silid. The whole area is an office.

There is a middle aged woman who welcomed me by the door. She smiled politely, but I can see worriness in her face.

“I would like to apologize, Sir Bryce. Hindi ko po alam na personal po kayong magkakilala ni Mr. Darkpelt,” pagpapakilala ng babae at saka yumuko ng bahagya sa akin.

“Ayos lang po. It’s not a big deal,” sabi ko.

“Thank you. I’m his secretary, by the way. Would you like me to carry your bagpack?”

“Nope. Kaya ko na,” sabi ko at nilagpasan siya para hanapin si Vinson.

His office room is so huge. There are lots of things that you can see around like bookshelves, wolf sculptures – na tulad ng nakita ko sa bahay nila, old fashioned cabinets, tables with piles of papers, corkboards and etc.

At the very end of the room, opposite to my direction, there is a huge desk with a man sitting on it. His chair is huge that it almost looks like a throne. Kahit sa malayo, I can see his piercing blue eyes looking at me.

I just realized how young he looks while sitting on that table. Hindi ko alam ang eksaktong edad niya, pero sa tingin ko ay masyado pa siyang bata para sa posisyon na hawak niya. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay ilang taon lang ang agwat ng edad naming dalawa.

Even though he’s huge and acts very mature, I kinda feel like he’s around twenty or a few years older than me.

Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kaniya. Nakatingin siya sa’kin ng mariin. May kakaiba akong naramdaman. He just watched me as if he’s a groom waiting for his bride. I know, it’s not a good way to describe it – but it is the most accurate description of how he looks at me. Sa sobrang haba kasi ng lalakarin papunta sa desk niya, pakiramdam ko ay naglalakad ako sa aisle.

Bawat hakbang ko papalapit sa kaniya, lumalambot ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya.

“Hi!” bati ko.

“Hello, Bryce. Good to see you,” aniya.

He smiled. I looked down on his arms and there I noticed that his sleeves were folded up to his elbow, and there is a bandage on one of his arms.

“Anong nangyari sa braso mo?” tanong ko na may matinding pag-aalala.

He hid his injured arm under the table.

“Wala lang ’to. Just had a small accident while visiting one of our production facilities. There’s nothing to worry about it,” sagot niya.

“Be careful, next time.”

“I will.”

Binaba ko ang aking bagpack sa desk niya upang kunin ang wallet ko. Humugot ako ng pera at nilapag ko sa harap niya.

“Here’s my payment. Walang labis, walang kulang,” sabi ko at ibinalik na ang wallet sa bag at isinukbit ko ito.

He just nodded at me without even looking at the money I gave him. Alam ko namang hindi big deal sa kaniya ang pera, pero sana tanggapin pa rin niya.

“It’s already getting dark. Gusto mo bang maghapunan dito sa office ko? I have a personal kitchen somewhere below this floor. I can cook for you,” he said and winked at me.

There he goes again. He’s trying to make some moves to get me. I must not fall for it.

But on the other hand, I can say that his wink almost made me melt to the floor. Simpleng facial expression lang ’yon, pero ang lakas na ng dating niya. Alam na alam talaga ng bastardong ’to kung gaano siya kagwapo at kuhanin ang loob ng mga tao, kaya dapat ko talaga siyang iwasan.

“Talaga? Sabay tayong kakain dito?”

“Actually, I’m not hungry yet. Pero pwede naman kitang lutuan kung gusto mo.”

“No, thanks. Masyado ka nang maraming nagawa para sa’kin. Nakakahiya namang abalahin pa kita, di ba?”

“Wala kang dapat ikahiya sa’kin, Bryce. Hindi ka na iba sa’kin.”

Umiling nalang ako bilang pagmamatigas na tutol ako sa gagawin niya para sa’kin. Dumadagdag nanaman ang utang na loob ko sa kaniya, at mapapagod lang ako kakaisip kung paano ito masusuklian.

“Alright… If you don’t want me to cook for you, that’s okay with me. We can have dinner somewhere else… Uhh… What if sa Fletcher’s Diner nalang? I think it’s perfect because it’s your mom’s place.”

Mas lalong hindi ako papayag dahil makikita ni Alejo ang pagdala ko sa kaniya doon. Baka iba ang isipin niya tungkol sa amin.

“Akala ko ba hindi ka pa gutom?”

“Yup, I’m also not full. I still have a space in my stomach, so I can definitely eat with you.”

Gosh, paano ko ba siya malulusutan?

“Well… I think it’s not the best idea, Vin. You used to have fancy dinners in a big table at your home. Maliit lang yung diner namin, baka hindi ka sanay,” sabi ko.

Sinuri niya ng maigi ang ekspresyon ko. Bigla akong kinabahan.

“Why are you doing this, Bryce?” he asked.

Pinanliitan ko siya ng mata dahil hindi ko malaman ang ibig-sabihin ng tanong niya.

“Huh?”

“Akala mo di ko napapansin? It seems like you’re trying to cut me off from your life or something. May nagawa ba akong mali?”

Gosh, nahuli niya ako. Hindi ko namang intensyon na putulin siya ng tuluyan sa buhay ko. It just happened getting closer to him would be dangerous. I don’t exactly know how bad it would be… I just have a feeling.

“Alam mo, Vinson. I really appreaciate the way treat me. Do you think I deserve it?”

“Yes, Bryce. You deserve it.”

“Bakit? Kasi gusto mo ’ko?”

There, I said it.

Damn. Ang asyumero ko pakinggan sa tanong na iyon. Why would a rich and fucking handsome man like me? Wala pa ako sa kalahati ng lebel niya. Aside from his looks, he seems very smart and well-mannered in some areas.

I don’t think I deserve this much kindness from him. Maybe, he likes me at my surface. Too shallow. This admiration is too weak for a strong-looking man like him.

“Yes,” he said.

I was silent for a moment, trying to process his answer inside my brain.

Hindi dapat mangyari ’to. I’m already committed to someone.

“You shouldn’t like me, Vin. I’m already in a relationship with someone,” pagtapat ko.

Then, to my surprise, he laughed.

“Ano ngayon kung gusto kita? I just admire you, Bryce… Hindi naman masama na humanga sa isang tao.”

That’s true. He has a point. Wala akong masabi.

“If you’re loyal to your boyfriend, I shouldn’t be a threat,” aniya. He stared at me cockily, parang hinahamon niya ako. He even crossed his arms. “But it depends if you like me too… Bakit, Bryce? Are you scared that I might replace your boyfriend?”

What?!

I gulped and cleared my throat. Now, he just turned into an asshole.

“No, Vinson. Not even a bit. I already knew that Alejo is a good man from the day we met. Ikaw, nung una tayong nagkita, sinungitan mo ’ko. Nahuli pa nga kitang may babaeng kasama sa liblib na lugar. It’s absolutely not a nice impression of you. That means, I would rather go with him.”

Namilog ang mga mata niya dahil na-realize niya kung gaano kapangit ang naging first impression niya sa’kin. Nagmukha siyang hindi kapatol-patol.

“But I already apologized to you,” aniya.

“Yeah. Tinanggap ko naman. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re a womanizer. Brock told me that you fucked a lot of women and just leave them behind. What makes you think na gusto kong maging katulad nila?”

“Wait… I’ve changed, Bryce. Believe me,” aniya – medyo napapaos.

He sounded like a wounded puppy. Now, I feel bad. May injury pa naman siya ngayon. Nasaktan na nga siya physically, sinaktan ko pa siya verbally.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako naging harsh sa kaniya, all of a sudden. I feel like I’m scared of something. I’m not exactly sure what it is.

“Sorry, I can’t. Pero pwede naman tayong maging friends, right? Tinulungan mo ’ko dati, and I still appreciate it. But now, I can’t reciprocate any of your kindness with a kiss. Isa na iyon sa magiging boundaries na’tin,” sabi ko.

Hindi siya nakapagsalita. I guess, he’s not used to being rejected. Sino ba naman ang makakatanggi sa kaniya? He’s a perfect specimen. With the face, wealth, and power that he has, I’m sure he could bait a ninety nine percent of male-attracted people in this small town. I just need to make sure that I’m gonna be a part of that one percent.

“Bye, Vinson. See you again, next time,” pagpapaalam ko at agad na umalis sa kaniyang opisina.

Kabanata 17

Kabanata 17

The

Wooden Wolf

Sinamahan ko si Alejo sa kaisa-isang antique store dito sa bayan. Narito kami para humanap ng panregalo sa lola niyang nalalapit na ang kaarawan. Most of the things they sell in this shop were mostly created almost a century ago.

Sabi niya, mahilig daw ang lola niya sa mga old-fashioned na bagay. These things bring her so much nostalgia. I really think it’s sweet that Alejo knows how to make his grandmother very happy – especially on her special day.

“Look at this, babe. Isn’t it cool?” sabi sa’kin ni Alejo. He’s holding an ashtray with a penis-shaped sculpture. He looks so proud of himself while holding it. Natawa ako sa kaniya at sa hawak niya. What’s the purpose of the dick?

“Oh, tapos? May balak ka bang bilhin yan para sa lola mo?”

Tumawa siya.

“Nope. I’m just amazed how it looks. Very indecent. Ikaw, baka gusto mo?” aniya at tumawa.

“That’s an ashtray, babe. Hindi ako naninigarilyo. Kung bibilhin ko ’yan, I would definitely use it for something else,” biro ko at kumindat sa kaniya.

Nakita ko ang pagkunot ng kaniyang noo.

“Kung gano’n pala ay huwag mo nang bilhin ’to. Hindi mo rin pala magagamit. I’m sure you would definitely use what’s mine,” aniya at kinindatan ako pabalik.

Umirap ako.

“Nagbibiro lang ako, okay? Ibalik mo na ’yan sa pinagkunan mo. Wala ka namang balak na bilhin ’yan, unless ’yan yung ipanreregalo mo sa lola mo. Would you?”

Umiling siya at binalik na niya ito sa shelf. Naghiwalay muna kami ng landas habang nagtitingin-tingin ng mga gamit.

Nilibot ko ang aking tingin sa paligid hanggang sa may bagay na pumukaw sa aking atensyon.

I can see a wolf wooden sculpture placed in a high glass shelf. As if it wasn’t meant to be purchased by anyone.

“Hindi ko ’yan binibenta!”

Bigla akong napatalon sa gulat at napalingon sa matandang nagsalita sa likod ko. Siya ang may-ari ng antique shop na ’to.

“Tinitignan ko lang ho. Wala po akong balak na bilhin,” sabi ko.

Huminga siya ng maluwag.

“Ay ganun ba. Pasensya ka na, hijo. Masyado kasing mahalaga para sa’kin ang bagay na ’yan, kaya ko nilagay sa mataas na lalagyan. Dekorasyon ko lang ’yan dito,” paliwanag sa’kin ng matanda.

Tumango lang ako. Halata naman kung gaano kaimportante ito sa kaniya. Napraning siya agad, kahit tinititigan ko lang ang bagay na ’to.

“Pagmamay-ari ’yan dati ng isang mayamang pamilya na nakatira dito sa bayan na ’to. Sabi-sabi daw na may mga gabing nagpapalit sila ng anyo bilang mga lobo. Mahilig silang gumawa at mangolekta ng mga eskulturang lobo na yari sa kahoy,” ani pa ng matanda.

Namangha ako sa kwentong nasa likod ng bagay na ’to. Para sa matandang ’to, masyadong mahiwaga ang bagay na ’to kaya ayaw niyang ibenta. I’m sure it’s just a myth. Nakita ko rin naman ang mga ganitong klaseng sculpture sa mansyon ng mga Darkpelts, at imposible namang may hokus pokus ang pamilya nila. In this modern day, it’s hard to believe in those kinds of unusual things.

“Nandiyan ka lang pala,” sabi ni Alejo habang papalapit sa’kin. Bigla kaming iniwan ng matanda.

𓃥

“I’ve heard that you are looking for a Vice President,” one of our classmates, Monique, approached Hector while we’re eating lunch at the cafeteria. She’s smiling like she’s too excited to talk to my friend.

Tumingin sa kaniya si Hector at tinaasan siya ng kilay. Monique doesn’t seem to care about his expression. Mukha pa rin siyang masaya.

“Do I know you?” medyo mataray na tanong ni Hector.

I heard Brock snickered.

Hector may be incredibly smart, but he’s too bad at remembering names – or maybe he just doesn’t care about other people around him.

I’m so surprised that out of all people in our class, hindi pa niya nakikilala ang nag-iisang Tanya Monique Knight. She’s a daughter of a wealthy businessman from a nearby town. Nagmamay-ari sila ng malaking lumber company, at ang balita ko pa ay tatakbo ang isa sa mga pinsan niya bilang mayor sa lugar nila. She’s very famous in our school because everybody knows that she’s filthy rich like the Darkpelts.

“Yup, I guess you probably know me… I’m Monique, if you could remember. We met in a family gathering at your house ’cause I’m Ate Sofia’s cousin… she’s your brother’s girlfriend, right?”

Hector still looks confused.

I noticed that Monique’s smile is starting to look more fake. I’m not a psychic, but I can read her mind. Alam kong may tanong siya sa isip na: how the heck you didn’t know me, ’cause we are freaking related to each other?!

I think it’s funny, actually.

“Sorry, wala pa rin akong matandaan,” saad ni Hector, stoically, at ibinaling na niya ang kaniyang atensyon sa pagkain.

Monique dropped her smile, but she’s still standing near our table.

“Well, I’m here to propose something,” sabi ni Monique. Sinusubukan niyang kunin ulit ang atensyon ni Hector.

Naging matagumpay naman siya dahil lumingon ulit si Hector sa kaniya. Hindi nagsalita si Hector at hinintay lang niya ang sasabihin ni Monique.

“I want to run for vice president. I’m sure we could be a great tandem,” ani Monique.

Wow, she’s so brave just like him. Tulad ni Hector, kahit freshman palang siya, gusto na niyang magkaroon agad ng mataas na posisyon sa student council. Iba talaga kapag galing ka sa mayaman at makapangyarihang pamilya. Mataas ang kumpyansang sumubok ng matinding hamon sa eskwelahan.

Pinanliitan siya ng mata ni Hector.

“No, thanks. I already have Bryce as my partner.”

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Wala pa akong final say tungkol dito. Hindi ko naman talaga gustong sumali sa student council. Tatanggihan ko na ang alok niya. I actually plan to tell Hector about it soon.

“R-Really… That’s great. Goodluck sa inyo,” Monique said like she’s mildly hurt to hear it. I kinda feel bad for her.

“Actually, pinag-iisipan ko pa naman. Hindi pa buo yung loob kong mag-file ng candidacy,” sabi ko kay Monique.

Kumunot ang noo ni Hector sa akin, samantalang lumiwanag ang mukha ni Monique.

“Oh, okay… If Bryce refused to be your partner, pwede mo akong lapitan anytime. I’ll be waiting,” sabi ni Monique sa kaniya. Tumango lang si Hector ng bahagya.

I smiled at Monique to give her an assurance that it’s okay to be hopeful about this matter. Pero sinuklian niya ’to ng pag-irap. I was surprised, and no one else noticed it. Both of my friends were too busy at their food.

My god. Sana pala hindi ko nalang siya pinansin tulad ng ginawa ni Hector sa kaniya. I had no idea that she has a crappy attitude. Pretty sure it’s because she looks down on me.

“Guys, guess what? Magpeperform ako sa isang party this weekend with my band,” Brock said while chewing his food. Pansin ko na adik siya sa pagkain. Ayoko lang na magbiro at tawagin siyang patay gutom – kasi anlakas niyang kumain, pero masyado siyang mayaman para tawaging gano’n.

“Talaga? Saang party naman?” tanong ko.

“Sa resort. Birthday kasi ng isang distant cousin namin. Right, Hector?”

“Oh, yeah. I remember,” sabi ni Hector.

“It’s been a very long since the last time we played. God, I swear! We’ll do very good. I’m so freaking excited!” Brock said with too much enthusiasm. Muntik pa niyang ibato ang hawak niyang kutsara. “I want you to be there, Bryce. Gusto kong makita mo kong kumanta sa stage.”

Namilog ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. Pagkatapos ay agad din akong umiling.

“Makakapunta lang ako kapag yung birthday celebrant yung nag-invite sa’kin. Hindi ko pa nga kilala kung sino man siya,” sabi ko.

“It’s fine… He already told me to bring someone I know, kahit hindi niya pa nakikilala. Hector and I will introduce you to him. His name is Willard and he’s studying abroad. Umuwi lang siya dito para mag celebrate.”

“Is there any alcohol involved?” tanong ko pa.

I asked, not because I’m not okay with it. Hindi lang ako sigurado kung ayos lang kay Mama na umuwi ako ng lasing. In adult birthday parties, hindi talaga mawawala ang alak. Unless, you’re too conservative.

“Of course, there will be,” sabi ni Hector. Then he clenched his fist like he’s ready to fight with somebody. “Don’t worry, nobody’s gonna force you to drink. Kung meron mang pumilit sa’yo, I’ll punch them straight to the face.”

“Yeah… Nobody should force anyone to drink… Sumama ka na, please. It will be fun, Bryce,” ani Brock na tapos na agad kumain. Wala pa kami ni Hector sa kalagitnaan ng aming kinakain. “Isa pa, kakantahin ko yung isang song ng favorite band mo. Yung Arctic Monkeys.”

Wait… what?! Paano niya nalaman ang tungkol dito?

Oh, I see… I already know who told him. I have someone in my mind.

“Sinong nagsabi sa’yo na fave ko yung bandang ’yan?” I asked. Gusto ko lang maliwanagan kung tama ang hinala ko.

“Si Kuya Vinson. Nung nagkasabay daw kayo sa music shop, bumili ka raw ng album ng Arctic Monkeys,” sagot niya.

So hindi niya sinabi na inutang ko lang ito sa kaniya? Thank God! Nakakahiya kasi kung may iba pang makakaalam tungkol dito.

Pero sige, I think it’s a good idea na sasama ako sa kanila. I’ve been stressed out lately, and I think I need to go to a party to chill and celebrate my hardwork.

“Alright… Sure, Brock. Pupunta na ako,” I finally said.

“Uy, salamat! Thank goodness, pumayag ka na. Now, I’m outta here!” sabi ni Brock at biglang tumayo.

Napakunot ang noo ko.

“Saan ka naman pupunta?” tanong ko.

“Sa counter. Oorder pa ako ulit ng pagkain. I’ll be right back,” aniya at naglakad na paalis.

Kabanata 18

Kabanata 18

Blackie

Pressure can force us to be agile under tension, whether we take it positively or negatively. While it often drives us to achieve high aspirations, it can also lead to stress and anxiety if managed poorly.

It’s already late at night, the usual time when crickets are loud. The air is freezing, so I have to wear my jacket even though I’m inside of my room.

“Ginugulo ba kita?” Alejo whispered while his fingers are combing my hair playfully.

I’m sitting on my study desk, while he is standing on my back. I’ve been reading my textbooks for about twenty minutes now, pero halos walang pumapasok sa isip ko.

“Hindi naman… It’s actually good that you’re here,” sabi ko at sinarado ko na ang librong binabasa ko.

I can’t tell him that he’s my biggest distraction right now. Baka kasi ma-offend siya.

“You know, I have a study tip for you,” aniya. He doesn’t sound serious, kaya natawa ako ng bahagya.

“Ano naman ’yon?”

“Rest… to relax your brain. Pinapagod mo ang sarili mo, babe. Karamihan sa mga impormasyong inaaral mo ay umaapaw at kumakawala na sa utak mo. You need to study with a proper pacing.”

He’s right. I’m just overstressing myself. Isa pa, niloloko ko lang ang sarili ko na kunwari’y may naiintindihan ako. I need to take a break.

“Sorry. Natatakot lang kasi ako na mawala sa’kin yung scholarship ko. I have to study really hard to keep it. Masyadong mahal ang gagastusin ko kapag hindi ko ito napahalagahan,” paliwanag ko, pagkatapos ay bumuntong-hininga. Then I felt a sudden pain in my forehead. Damn, it hurts. “Pero sige, ipagpapabukas ko nalang ’to. Hindi na kasi kaya ng powers ko na magsaulo.”

I closed all of my books and notes, at saka binalik sila sa shelves.

Then, all of a sudden, we heard a howl from outside.

“Babe, you have to see this!” sabi ko sabay hila sa kaniya papunta sa bintana.

“Bakit?”

“Basta!”

Naghintay kami doon, hanggang sa lumabas na rin ang inaabangan namin. The moon is bright, and we were able to see the wolf coming out of the forest. Tumakbo ito patungo sa tapat ng bahay namin.

“That wolf looks so majestic,” sabi ko sabay turo sa hayop.

He immediately shook his head.

“No. Delikado ’yan! I’m sure, that wolf is keeping an eye on you to make you its prey.”

I smirked at him, as if I am challenging him.

“Watch,” sabi ko at lumapit sa pinto ng kwarto ko. Bigla naman akong pinigilan ni Alejo sa pamamagitan ng paghawak sa aking pulso.

“Are you gonna go down, huh? Huwag, Bryce! Baka mahuli ka ng mama mo at mabuking tayo.”

“Alam na ni Mama,” sabi ko sa kaniya. His eyes widen. “He caught you climbing up our walls.”

Nakita ko ang biglang pagpula ng kaniyang pisngi dahil sa kahihiyan.

“Really? Fuck, I’m dead,” aniya na may matinding pag-nginig sa kaniyang boses.

I chuckled and patted him at his shoulders.

“Don’t be scared. She said that she’s fine with it. I think we need to tell her soon that we’re officially together.”

“Now, I find it very weird working under your mother. After all, gusto kong may patunayan sa’yo at sa pamilya mo. Natatakot ako na baka isipin niyang hindi ako nararapat sa’yo dahil may magandang kinabukasan ka, at ako wala.”

Nalungkot at nasaktan ako sa sinabi niya. Is it because he didn’t go to college? It doesn’t matter to me. He’s still Alejo, and I would still love him regardless of his personal background.

Humarap ako sa kaniya at binigyan ng mabilis na halik sa pisngi.

“You have nothing to prove to my mother, okay? Wala na siyang magagawa kung ikaw ang pipiliin ko. And please, don’t think about yourself as a lesser mortal. That’s not what I saw from you.”

He smiled, satisfied about what I’ve said to him.

“Fine. Your mother knows, and I shouldn’t be worrying right now… Pero hindi pa rin kita hahayaang bumaba at lapitan yung lobo sa tapat ng bahay niyo,” aniya. Tumawa ako.

“Alright, babe. We can just watch it from here.”

Nakita ko ang pagkunot ng kaniyang noo, pero hinila ko lang siya pabalik sa bintana.

The wolf not sitting on the ground, staring back at us. I don’t know why, but I feel like it is sad or something. It looks gloomy and I can’t fathom why.

Wala na ang bandage na kinabit ko sa kaniya. Siguro tinanggal niya rin ito nung naramdaman niyang magaling na siya.

“What’s so fascinating about it, babe?” he asked.

Napaisip din ako.

“I don’t know…” I said, even though I’ve been thinking a lot of things that makes me so fond of this wolf. It is a beast with rare qualities. Kind and calm, taliwas sa nakakatakot nitong uri at hitsura. People usually judge the book by its cover, even sometimes, appearance can be misleading. I think we should always know what’s beyond the skin before telling someone’s character.

Bukod pa roon, parang may kakaiba akong nararamdaman tuwing nakikita ko ang hayop na ito. Hindi lang ako natutuwa sa kaniya, because aside from that, I felt comfortable and protected whenever it is near. It’s like my guard in a night full of terror.

I don’t know what’s its gender yet, but I assume it’s a male. He exudes masculinity.

Isa pa…

“I remember, he used to be in my dreams,” sabi ko at napatingin kay Alejo. I can see in his eyes that he’s interested about the next thing I’m gonna say. “How weird… Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyayari. He’s hurt, at wala akong ibang magawa kun’di maawa lang sa kaniya. Hindi ko pa rin ’yon makalimutan dahil sa tingin ko, parang may mahalagang ibig-sabihin ang panaginip na ’yun.”

His puzzling expression changed. Parang may na-realize siya agad dahil sa sinabi ko.

“Oh… I think I also had a same dream like yours,” aniya at napaiwas ng tingin sa’kin. He looked up to the sky, trying to remember a certain memory. “From what I can recall, there’s a wolf crying for me in the dark. But all I can perceive is just its voice, at hindi ko ito nakikita… I find it very strange, kaya hindi ko ito makalimutan kahit sa paggising ko. Iniisip ko pa rin hanggang ngayon kung ano yung ibig sabihin ng panaginip kong iyon.”

His eyes were sparkling while reminiscing. But when he looks at me, his eyes were empty and spaced out as if he was looking through me – like I’m invisible.

Pinanliitan ko siya ng mata, then I cleared my throat. Nagising siya parang bigla siyang namulat mula sa mga delusyon.

“If that wolf is special to you, did you gave it a name?” tanong niya.

“Hindi pa,” pag-amin ko.

He snorted.

“Dapat mo siyang bigyan ng pangalan,” aniya.

Sinubukan kong mag-isip pero wala talagang pumasok sa utak ko. Maybe because there is no room left inside my head?… Whatever.

“Blackie!” he blurted out.

I chuckled. Seriously? It doesn’t sound creative.

“Ayoko!” bwelta ko.

“Bakit? May naiisip ka ba na mas maganda? You can’t trash my idea as long as you can’t think of anything to replace it with.”

Napakurap ako. May punto siya.

Sinubukan ko ulit mag-isip, pero wala talaga. Probably because its my first time having a pet dog – uh, wolf. Close enough. Hindi ko pa alam kung paano magpangalan ng alaga.

“Alright, babe. Blackie na ang pangalan niya,” pagsuko ko.

He laughed at my defeat.

Binalik ko ang tingin sa lobo, ngunit bigla itong naglaho. He left, while Alejo and I were talking.

Hinila ako ni Alejo paharap sa kaniya, then he kissed me straight away. Nagulat ako kaya naitulak ko siya. Nakita ko ang magkahalong pagtataka at pagkadismaya sa kaniyang mukha.

“What the heck, Bryce. Bakit?!” mariin niyang sabi sa’kin. Pinipilit ang sarili na huwag sumigaw dahil baka marinig siya ni Mama.

“I’m tired, babe. I can’t do it right now.”

He scoffed and averted his gaze.

“Fine,” pagmamaktol niya.

Buong gabi ay naging tahimik siya. I don’t get why he’s sulking just because I refused to let him do what he wanted to do tonight. Siya na nga ang nagsabi kanina na kailangan kong magpahinga.

𓃥

I’ve been staring at the mirror for almost half an hour, checking myself if I look good enough. I’m wearing a simple, loose, cream-colored shirt with a small print design, partnered by my dark pants. Brock said the celebration’s gonna be a pool party, but I don’t want to bring some spare clothes or swimming garments. Wala akong planong lumublob sa pool, lalo na at napakalamig ng panahon.

I took a deep breath, calming myself down. Nakarinig ako ng busina sa labas. They’re here. I texted them my address before. Agad akong bumaba.

“Hi, Bryce!” bati sa’kin ni Hector pagkabukas ko ng pinto, wearing a loose button up shirt with linen shorts. “Are you ready?”

“Yup,” sagot ko.

“Ang ganda pala dito sa inyo. You have a nice porch with a picturesque view of the lake,” saad ni Brock habang nakatanaw sa tapat namin.

Yeah, right. It’s my everyday-view. So perfect to look at whenever I’m spacing out.

“Tara na?” aya ni Hector.

Then we made our way to the Brock’s car.

𓃥

The resort is huge enough to fit a large amount of people without overcrowding the place. It looks fun. May mga tao na sa pool at floaters. There is a bar counter with a bartender at the far left, and a stage at the front – near the entrance.

“Medyo malapit na rin ang performance ko,” sabi ni Brock at kinlaro ang kaniyang lalamunan.

“Goodluck. Marami palang manonood, eh,” sabi ko sabay tapik sa balikat niya.

“Yeah, thanks… You know, hindi ako kinakabahan. But I can’t help my legs from shaking. I’m thinking that I shouldn’t mess this up, because it’s been a while since we’ve played together, and it would mean so much to me,” aniya. He took a deep breath and smiled tightly. “Gosh, I almost forgot. Ipapakilala ka pala namin.”

“Ha? Kanino?” I asked.

“Basta, sumama ka nalang,” ani Hector at naramdaman ang kamay nilang dalawa na nakahawak sa aking braso.

Kabanata 19

Kabanata 19

I Wanna Be Yours

Hinila ako ni Brock at Hector sa isang grupo ng mga nag-uusap na tao. Two guys, and four girls. Nagulat ako dahil isa sa kanila si Monique, kasama ang kaniyang mga kaibigan. Masaya at nagtatawanan silang nag-uusap usap.

“Excuse me, guys,” pagsingit ni Brock. All of their eyes went on us. “I would like you to meet someone. This is Bryce, best friend namin ni Hector. We met in college.”

All of them smiled on me sweetly, except Monique who looked forced, and a guy with a dark and serious stare.

“Nice to meet you, Bryce. They already told us about you, that’s why we’re expecting to see you here,” sabi sa’kin ng isang lalaking may gintong kulay na mata. He offered his hand to me. “I’m Willard, by the way… and I just wanna say that you look very nice!”

“Thanks!” tipid kong saad at tinanggap ang kaniyang kamay.

I felt a little blush on my cheek – not in a romantic way, because I don’t really think I deserve a complement from a gorgeous guy like him.

So siya pala ang birthday celebrant. Brock told me his name before. Ka-height ko lang siya, and his mannerisms are neutrally feminine – I don’t know if that makes sense but I feel like that’s the best way to describe him. Malumanay pero hindi kasing-lambot ng isang mahinhing dalaga. He speaks very softly.

“Where’s Vinson? I thought kasama niyo siya?” tanong sa’kin ni Willard.

Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko. Malay ko bang pupunta rin si Vinson dito.

“Uh, he’s on his way. Nandito na siya maya-maya,” sabi ni Hector. Mukhang napansin niyang wala akong masabi.

“Ah, good to know. You guys should always be with him. Kailangan niyo siyang bantayan dahil baka mamaya ay may paglaruan nanaman siyang babae. I really think it’s time for him to change… Right, Bryce?” sabi sa’kin ni Willard. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa’kin siya nagtanong.

“Yeah… I guess,” I said.

I can’t help but notice the guy on his right. He’s holding a cup of beer while looking at me seriously. His eyes are jet black and sharp. Matangkad siya at malaki ang pangangatawan. Medyo naiintimidate ako sa kaniya.

“This is Rhysand, my brother. I’m sorry for the way he looks at you. Ganiyan lang talaga siya,” Willard said. I just smiled a bit. Tinuro naman niya ang mga babaeng kasama nila. “And I guess kilala mo na sila, right? Sina Monique, Angela, Sam at Lyka.”

“Oo. Mga classmates ko sila.”

“At least you know some people here, you’re not gonna feel like you’re out of place,” he said and smiled very sweetly. “I think I’m have to excuse myself for while. I need to check something. Just tell me if you need anything, okay?” aniya at tinapik ako sa balikat.

“Sure,” tipid kong sagot.

“See you later, everyone! Enjoy the party.”

Umalis na si Willard at naiwan kami doon.

Napansin kong iniiwasan ako ng tingin ni Monique at ng mga kaibigan niya. I guess it is because pare-pareho lang sila ng mga ugali – mga mapangmata sa mga taong tingin nila ay hindi nila kalebel.

“It seems like Willard is very interested to get close to you,” Hector said.

“Yeah… Kailangan na nating bakuran si Bryce. We got him, first!” biro ni Brock.

I scoffed, then laughed.

“Just kidding,” bawi niya.

Bigla namang lumapit lalo si Monique sa gawi namin.

“Hi! Is it true that Vinson owns a part of your family business?” tanong ni Monique.

“Yup. He’s in charge with the industrial supplies. Yun ang pinakamalapit sa field na balak niyang tahakin as a civil engineer. It’s just a temporary thing because soon after he’s going to take board exams when he gets to twenty-one,” sagot ni Hector.

“Your brother is amazing. Can’t believe he graduated early in high school at fifteen because he’s incredibly genius, then graduated college at nineteen. Now, being a twenty year old man, he’s handling quite a huge responsibility. What a talent! He’s definitely a standard of every woman,” Monique said with sparkles in her eyes. “Is he taken already?”

I knew it. Vinson is twenty – very young to be in a high office. Tama si Monique, kahanga-hanga ang mga advancements niya sa buhay.

Plus, nobody told me that Vinson is a civil engineering graduate. That’s a major surprise for me. Hindi nila nabanggit sa’kin kahit noong family dinner nila. Akala ko, businessman lang siya.

Kumunot ang noo ni Hector at hindi siya nagsalita.

“My cousin dated a lot of girls, Monique. He’s always taken. How come you know everything about his academic background but not his lifestyle?” si Brock na ang sumagot.

Napansin ko ang gulat sa mukha ni Monique.

“Sorry, I’m just curious,” aniya.

“Uh, it’s fine… But now, he’s eyeing on someone… desperately. Malas niya lang at hindi siya gusto,” ani Brock.

“Really? That’s weird,” ani Monique na may panghihinayang sa kaniyang mukha. “Poor guy. Whoever that girl is, she should know that she’s wasting a perfect man.”

Kinabahan ako bigla. I have a strong feeling na ako yung tinutukoy niya. Hindi ko alam kung alam na nina Brock at Hector na may gusto sa’kin si Vinson, pero if ever man, inaasahan kong mapag-uusapan namin ng kaming tatlo lang sa pribadong paraan.

Kinausap na ni Monique ang kaniyang mga kaibigan at nagpatuloy sila sa pakikipagtawanan gaya kanina.

“I need to go guys, ihahanda ko lang yung mga equipment namin mamaya. Kakanta na rin kami,” pagpapaalam ni Brock sa amin.

“Okay, goodluck! Magkita-kita nalang tayo mamaya,” saad ko at pinanood ko siyang umalis.

I heard Hector sighed.

“Asan na kasi si Kuya? Bakit wala pa siya?” tanong niya.

“I’m here,” sabi ng isang boses na nasa likod namin.

Pareho kaming napalingon at nakita si Vinson. He’s wearing an plain dark jacket na nakabukas at kita ang kaniyang white shirt sa loob, with loose khaki shorts. He looks so great with his simple outfit.

Naalala ko tuloy yung huli naming pagkikita. Nag-aalala ako na baka may sama siya ng loob sa amin dahil do’n. Nagsabi man ako ng totoo tungkol sa pagkatao niya, mali pa rin na maliitin siya.

“Hi, Vinson!” bati ni Monique sa kaniya. Vinson just nodded at her, lightly.

“You’re almost late. Brock’s gonna perform soon,” sabi ni Hector.

“Sorry, I had to do something at work,” paliwanag ni Vinson.

“You’ve become very busy after you stopped seing at lot of women. I think you need to focus more on your personal life… like trying to pursue the person that you really like.”

Lahat kami, napalingon kay Rhysand na nagsalita. He sound so serious when he said it.

“It’s none of your business,” seryoso ring saad ni Vinson. He looks a bit irritated.

“Well, I apologize kung sa tingin mo ay nangingialam ako. I’m just giving you a little advice,” sabi ni Rhysand bago siya umalis.

Finally, the tension between them just ended.

“He’s so weird,” maarteng sabi ni Monique. Then, he moved closer to Vinson with a flirty stare. Gosh, ano ba ’tong nakikita ko? “Anyways, kukuha lang kami ng mga friends ko drinks. Wanna join us?”

Umiling si Vinson.

“No, I’m fine,” tipid niyang sagot.

“Okay. But if you change your mind, I’ll be at the bar counter. Sunod ka nalang,” aniya at naghagikhikan sila ng kanilang mga kaibigan.

Pagkatapos, ay umalis na rin sila. Tatlo nalang kami doon, sa gitna ng mga taong nakukwentuhan na may kani-kaniyang mundo.

“Totoo pala na money can’t buy class. People act cheaply when they’re desperate,” sabi ni Hector matapos niyang umismid dahil sa nasaksihan. He looked at me, meaningfully. I have the same thoughts, as well. I agree.

Natanaw namin ang pag-akyat ni Brock kasama ang kaniyang mga bandmates.

“Hi guys! In case you don’t know our band, by the way, we’re Grimblack. We started performing when we were in high school, and now, we’re trying to continue our band’s journey kahit college na kami,” pagpapakilala ni Brock. Biglang naghiyawan ang mga tao. “Kung kilala niyo kami, siguradong alam niyong madalas kaming kumanta ng indie rock. Sa ngayon, magsisimula muna tayo sa medyo mellow na song. Okay ba sa inyo?!”

Everyone started cheering and raising their cups.

“Before we start, I just wanna greet my cousin… Happy birthday, Willard! Sana di ka pa mamatay,” aniya at nagtawanan lahat ng tao. Tanaw ko si Willard na malapit sa stage, nakikitawa rin. “I hope you’re happy with my greetings. You’ll always be special to me. Love you, dude!”

Nagsimula na silang tumugtog. Si Brock ang bokalista. Naramdaman ko ang pagkapit ni Hector sa aking kaliwang braso at sumandal kaniyang ulo sa aking balikat – in a friendly way. Samantalang nakatayo naman sa kanan ko si Vinson.

♫ I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

Breathing in your dust ♫

As Brock promised, it was an Arctic Monkey’s song. Kagagawan ’to ni Vinson. He was the one who told him about my love for this band – but actually, I’m happy with his song choice. Sa lahat kasi ng kanta ng Arctic Monkeys, ito ang pinaka-favorite ko.

♫ I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust ♫

“It’s been a while since I’ve heard them play. They still sound really good,” bulong ni Hector.

In my peripheral view, I can see Vinson looking directly at me.

♫ If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours ♫

My eyes are watching the performance, straightly. Para akong naninigas sa kaba.

Habang tumatagal, mas lalong nagiging malinaw sa’kin na may gusto sa’kin si Vinson. Gusto ko siyang tanggihan sa mga ginagawa niya. Dahil… natatakot ako! Hindi tama na pagbigyan ko siya.

♫ Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought ♫

Hindi ko na mapigilan. Now, I stared back at him. Totoo nga ang hinala ko. Nakatingin siya sa’kin!

His astonishing blue eyes are like stars that gleam in the dark of night. His intimidating face soften, then he licked his lips. Hindi man lang siya nahiya nung nabisto ko siya, dahil nanatili pa rin ang titig niya sa’kin.

Bigla ko tuloy iniwas ang tingin ko sa kaniya.

♫ Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours ♫

“Hec, I want to have a drink,” sabi ko kay Hector na nakakapit pa rin sa’kin.

“Are you sure? Sabi mo hindi ka mahilig umiinom?”

“Yeah… pero gusto kong subukan,” sabi ko at hinila na siya papunta sa bar counter. I need to get away from here – especially, from him!