Chapter One

Year of 1939

The sun beamed bright, covering the crowd urgently as the nearby dark clouds slowly rolled in their direction, the town had been ransacked thoroughly and the remains were being picked over by the littlest of all. A tall pew occupied the center of the market, which laid at the center of the town unforgivingly perfect. The damage had been done, no lives were taken nor erupted but the takeover had been efficient in easy means, what happened had shocked the entire town. The takeover had shock the townsfolks entire economy, the market was completely trashed with wheeled transportation wagons destroyed beyond their own brinks, the spare wood being used to ignite the party’s decorative flags. A new power was in order, that I could tell from just the distance I was as we were being beckoned forward to listen to the ceremonial exchange of power, it frightened me to hear what would come out the mouth of the new government we now held over our heads. I took slow, unsure steps along with the crowd that had followed me from the near suburbs of land, the crowd I tagged along with contained farming families that lived on grounds of the town. 

A born and raised townsfolk of Mali, my name is Elle Michaels, and a nurse a tender home on the outskirts of this beautiful market that I would visit to get my rations once a week. I nurse my home distances away from the market compared to most because of my unusual extremities as a young man learning to take on the role of an every day woman. The consumption of my disorder was well equipped in life, as my mother consumed a very unforgiving drug that was suppose to help with morning nausea but it had major birth defects that put many people’s lives in play, a terrible play. Luckily for me, I wasn’t in Mr. Gregory Wright’s possession of two  Johnsons as he does, nor do I have my tongue completely attached to the bottom of my mouth. No, I had got off with having the formality of tender, swollen breast as well as a feminine figure that I despised. I wasn’t a normal person, that I knew from the moment I was around three… perhaps five, and all my life, I had to put up with the fact that I was a

woman

wearing men clothes. 

Growing older to my teenage years, my mother came up with the thought that I become a woman and keep my male identity to myself from the day on after my fifteenth birthday. My father saw it as a sin to cut my pure white hair that was also a birth defect, he saw it as God’s gift to me, though he wasn’t such a big Christian as he always seemed. I was gifted with a woman’s name, Elle, it was my mother’s grandmother’s name as they had composed me to be a girl before I was born. At the age of fifteen I had stopped growing any taller than five feet and I was working for the government, keeping tax of every paper and script that came into the Past’s, as we called him, clutch. It was my underground occupation, not even my parents knew about it over the sole fact that a

man-woman

was occupying a male’s position in government, the pay was fantastic at more than life costs. It was that pay that allowed me to move toward a suburban unit of life, life where I would never have to work again, life where I didn’t have to worry about anything by myself. Now, at the age of nineteen, I’m an ever blooming man-woman that keeps to himself, I have very few neighbors with the closest living fifteen miles off of my extended property of one acre of land, which nursed more of my home. 

My house indeed isn’t much, it was mostly just a two-story box house with few windows and elegant light from the beaming sun when it showed, as well as my use of candles at night. The welcoming atmosphere was promising for a beautiful day, though gloomy clouds settled along the horizon and was slowly heading this way. I reached up, moving a strand of hair from my irritated eyes while watching everyone closely, I didn’t do well in large crowds because of my tiny figure so I always had to watch everyone, I could easily be trampled. I mingled into the crowd, it had gotten quiet so that everyone could listen to the speaker as he came to the front of the pew and looked down at us, who all were waiting patiently.

“ Good evening everyone, I am sure that this is rather shocking to most of you because of the sudden rebellion. Tensions have been very high and it is only right that we fought for our own freedom and in company, our rights as human beings, the fight was long and hard but we’ve had caused Past’s forces to retreat back to their rightful place .“ The speaker paused, as if he was waiting for us to applaud him, we hadn’t. “ I understand a few of you could be upset about this wish, as we do plan to overthrow him in coming days, the war has been waged on us Mali civilians but in truth, we’ve only took back what we’ve rightfully owned .“ He paused again, as if still waiting for applauses, he received a few hands clapping before continuing. “ We have to thank Jeremy M. Williams for helping us with the plans, your new leader, Jeremy M. Williams. “

I was in complete utter shock, Jeremy was Past’s closest friend and those two were for sure known with one another and to know that he had betrayed his own friend, one that he had grew up with, it was painful to know. Not only that, I had heard multiple times that Jeremy M. Williams had a terrible temper, terrible enough that he was diagnosed with a disorder from childhood, and it was a reason everyone avoided him, including me. The speaker, who was Timothy Aaron moved aside to allow Jeremy the spotlight, who came to stand in the same position, giving Timothy a handshake as they passed each other.

“ Good evening, everyone. As your new and sole leader… “ He paused, already claiming this was a dictatorship… not good, we left one dictatorship to enter another? “ Mali will be experiencing changes, swift changes that will be put in order right after this meeting, there are no excuses to these orders neither. This small war lasted eight days, as we know that they will be advancing back within time and while they are away, we’re going to build, and build, and BUILD . “ He slammed his left fist down on his open right palm aggressively. “ Mali has experienced too many changes to claim it as the same, and I am here to right those changes, we’re an unholy town that allows you to practice whatever religion you prefer… no longer is that allowed. Muslim, Christianity, Budda… whatever the hell that is, no more are you allowed to practice those faiths and those who do will be prosecuted rightfully. Weekly rations will be handed out, you will be able to pick them up by tomorrow, and if you don’t, you are unfortunate for the week. You are to hold the new government’s names and members in your prayers and dreams, a portrait of any member is allowed in the homes of you Mali civilians, without any portrait, you will be prosecuted. “

I allowed my mouth to easily drop in awe as I stared at President Jeremy in shock, it was astonishing that he was saying that if there wasn’t a portrait of him or any other member of the government in our home, we would be prosecuted, possibly given jail time or worse. I glanced around, trying to catch the expression of other people’s faces to know I wasn’t the only one feeling like this was completely bullshit, why was everyone allowing him to do this to us. We were allowed free welcoming of the market and now what we were allowed to have was being rationed, that meant we couldn’t just go and get whatever we want anymore. 

“… for instance, if one of Mali’s soldier’s come to you with no other place to go, you MUST allow him entry into your home, or you will be thoroughly prosecuted .” I stood in awe, if a soldier came to me asking to be housed in my home, I couldn’t turn him away, how rude and unfair to me. 

Upon glancing around, my eyes were drawn to one of the stoic expressions of a burly soldier as he stared straight forward with protocol, his eyes were a stern brown that dared someone to cause trouble during the ceremony, as him being a upper force would take action immediately. His stoic expression was deadly, his eyes promised of hell to any and everyone of us as he glanced through the crowd without any head motion, his dark brown eyes landed on mine and caused me to immediately feel submissive under his hard gaze. I could feel his eyes staring into my soul without even having to make eye contact, the feeling of his heated stare lingered, letting me know that he hadn’t looked away yet. I risked the chance of looking at him and growing uncomfortable as the sound of something smacking wood grabbed my attention, President Jeremy was baring his teeth at us as we stood the victims of his sudden rage. Thankfully, Timothy stepped forward and managed to calm the president enough to have him step away so that the crowd, including I, could be dismissed to our homes. 

“ Thank you all for attending the first ceremony, for those who didn’t attend, spread the word and let them know the new rules of Mali. Have a good evening, you all are dismissed .“ Timothy spoke quickly, glancing nervously at President Jeremy, who was now cursing at one of his family members. “ Push them along .“ Timothy ordered the guarding soldiers, who all immediately jumped into action.

Even though my gaze was elsewhere, I could still feel the hard gaze of the upper ranked soldier that started roughly pushing a few of the people standing in front of the crowd, the soldiers immediately followed suit. I turned on my heels and didn’t hesitate to pull the long, flowery dress I had adorned myself in to come to the market, I pulled the ends up and stepped along with the crowd as I heard the huffing and puffing within. No one was happy about the new rules, and the fact that I now had to find a picture of someone in the government meant money out of my pocket, not that I didn’t have it, it was just ridiculous. I walked quickly, scared to fall toward what was now the back of the line because of the soldier that was unrightfully cruel toward them. I heard the snickers as the soldiers yanked and push people, luckily for many of them, they didn’t live to far out from the market and were branching toward their homes quickly. I was soon one of the ten people that lingered with the crowd and I had expected every last soldier to stop following us but they hadn’t, instead they followed closer and I could feel one right on my neck as I walked quickly toward my house. 

“Hey pretty lady.” I heard one of the soldiers say, which I quickly ignored as I speed up my pace. “Oh come on, don’t run from The Big Bad Wolf .” The soldier’s comment made the others laugh.

A few of the soldiers dropped away, turning back to head in the direction they came while the higher rank and three others lingered near, soon there were less than five of us left in the crowd and thankfully, my house was coming closer and closer. Catching sight, I speed up and felt as if I now had hope of getting away from the unrightfully rude soldiers that thought they had control over us. Suddenly, the hard hand of one of the soldiers landed upon my bottom, causing me to jump forward and whirl around angrily. Before I had a second to think, my open hand connected with the cheek of the soldier behind me and it felt like my breath left my body as soon as my hand connected to his face. The look of rage on the upper rank soldier’s face caused me to blink into realization and quickly scurry away as he wiped a drip of blood from his face and glance at the laughing soldiers as they saw what happened. I hurried into my yard and was ready to make a break for it right when the ropes of white on my head was yanked back and I went crashing into the dirt ground of my front yard. I moaned loudly as I tried to pull myself up but the grip on my hair returned as I tried to claw at the hand holding me prisoner. 

“See, sweetheart, you shouldn’t had done that.” The upper rank soldier said through his heated voice, making my chest immediately drop into my stomach. 

I gasped as I fought against his tugging, my entire body moving easily under his strength as I kicked and screamed out vowels, hoping someone would rush to my aid but I knew it was useless, everyone was too afraid to go against the grain of the soldier forces. I continued to claw at the hand holding me captive just as something cold pressed against my neck, making me halt my screaming as my eyes widened, I knew that the soldier was pressing his blade against my neck. I felt disgust as his slimy tongue trailed along my jawbone and up to my ear before lustfully digging inside my ear canal and causing shivers of revulsion to run through my veins. The soft feeling of something falling along my cheek caught my attention suddenly, I felt weak and very vulnerable as the soldier kissed away the tear that tickled along my skin. 

“Please, I’m sorry.” I cried, tears springing from my ears as my scalp cried to be released. 

“Too late to apologize now, beautiful lady, you brought this upon yourself.” 

“ SOMEONE PLEASE, HELP ME! HELP ME !“ I screamed to no one in particular as I kicked and wiggled around, hoping to get lose from his grip but I knew it was a futile fight. 

I looked over at my house to see that the soldier was dragging me along the side of it, the dirt turned to gravel as I heard the door of my shed opening and the sound of clanking as Lucille rocked back and forth. I was pulled up and I quickly allowed my feet to come beneath me but it was only seconds as the soldier pushed me onto the sprawled hay of the shed floor, I cried as I landed roughly against the flooring. I took the chance of rising to my hands and knees and attempting to crawl away but the solid steel-toe boot took the air from my lungs as it planted into my side very hard. I bounced onto the opposite side of the blow and looked up at the soldier in complete awe that he had struck me. 

“Ha, you little whore.” He bared his teeth, reaching forward and grabbing onto my hair to lift me to my knees. “You wanted this right, you showed me you wanted it rough the moment y-”

“Please, no, please. I don’t want this, please.” I begged, hoping he’d understand and leave me alone.

“Oh, but you do, sweetcakes. You want all of this.” He chuckled, pushing his giant groin in my face, making me flinch away as he rubbed himself along my cheek.

I pleaded louder, crying as he put the blade to my cheek and toyed with my emotions, allowing the blade to slide along my jawbone threateningly. I fell to my side and balled up as he climbed on top of me and pinned himself down, his weight held me in place as he grabbed the front of my dress and slide a line down the middle with his blade. The feeling of the cold tip along my front caused me to halt in the fear of getting cut, I heaved and it caused my uncontained breast to easily jiggle as I shut my eyes tight and prayed nothing would go further than this. 

“P-Pleas-”

“Shut up!” He yelled angrily, wrapping his free hand around my throat tightly, causing me to stare at him with wide eyes.

HE’S GOING TO KILL

ME

.

Chapter Two

AWARE: RAPE

My eyes fell upon him as he leaned down and openly sucked my neck, my vision blurred with tears as I felt his soft lips caress against my exposed skin, suckling hard and biting even harder, causing me to yelp quickly. The glare of his brown eyes made mine shut forcefully then opened them as I placed a shaky hand over my mouth to stop the sounds escaping, his eyes gleamed curiously as he stared down at me with wonderment, admiring the beauty that I had. I turned my eyes away and squeezed them tightly as his hands began the search of my upper body, I flinched as he rested his hands on my shoulder and slowly trailed them down, leaving the feel of disgust behind them as he quickly cupped my large breast with a sound of happiness. 

He lowered his head to wrap his lips along one of my nipples as I bit hard on my lip, he teasingly sucked it and playfully toyed with the other, rocking it between his index and thumb eagerly. I squirmed at the pleasure shooting down my spine, I wasn’t suppose to be enjoying his touch. I pushed at his chest and he knocked my hands away in a swift motion before pinning them above my head, rising up to look me in the face once more with a look of annoyance.

“You’re ashamed to hide such a gorgeous body away from me, beautiful girl.” He said, wrapping his arm around my neck again, making me close my eyes tightly in fear. “Such beautiful bosoms, I could nurse on them all night.” I opened my eyes in shock as he sucked the left one back into his mouth greedily.

“P-Please,” I returned to the only way I knew would help me,“ please, I won’t tell anyone. Please stop, please.“

“Say please one more time, and I’m shoving this blade up your endings, love.” He said in such a cheeky way, making me go stiff as I imagine such a gruesome thing. 

I sealed my lips tightly against each other, daring not provoke him and his threat as he lifted the bottom of my dress and I immediately squirmed to get away. I knew that upon his discovery, things would take a turn for the worse and possibly he would carry out the promise he just made without the need to hear me begging. I fought hard, wiggling back and forth the best I could to get him away from my lower region, I knew it was useless but I would hope he’d grow tired of me fighting him and give up on his intentions. All hope was lost as he cupped my testicles and I could feel the blood leaving my face as I looked at him in knowing, I knew he was shocked, I knew he was angry, and I definitely knew he was disgusted. His expression changed from excitement to disbelief as he stared at him in confusion, his grip tightened dangerously around my testes as I tried to rock my hips back and forth in the hopes he’d let lose. Every rock caused his hand to tighten as his face became one of disgust as he tightened the hand that I had forgotten was around my neck. My breath hitched as he squeezed angrily, I knew I would have bruising around my neck whenever he was done and ready to throw me away. I squeezed my eyes tightly closed, my mouth shooting open as I tried to catch any air that would slip inside. 

“You disgusting little cunt .” He growled, looking me dead in the eyes as I felt darkness fade into the corner of my sight.

Suddenly, his grip loosened and I happily sucked in gasp after gasp of the sweet, manure-filled air around me, I returned back to wailing and shaking as he rose the blade and pressed it against my neck once more. I felt him lean down toward my ear, using his nose to push away a couple of strands of my soft white hair, his hot breath caressed my ear and caused a shiver to rise within me, one I attempted to fight off. 

“I could slit your fucking throat right now, allow your blood to soak the floor of your own property… but I can’t,” He whispered, more to himself than me,“ you’re skin is so soft, breast so delicate, as if you were a woman.“ 

He reached back up from my lower region and gently cupped my breast, tweaking with my nipple while staring at it in awe. “You’re a man, but you feel like a woman.” He said in confusion to himself. 

I stared up at him with fear ringing in my eyes, he had already tried to strangle me and upon this new discovery, he seemed confused of his next move. I tried to ignore the sensation of his stroking my breast and teasingly pushing at my nipple with his thumb, but it was hard as I felt a spark of electricity hit my spin each time his thumb pushed into it. I felt my shaking return as lifted himself up and started to raise my dress roughly, with his intentions set on continuing, I immediately tried to resist his strong grip by attempting to hold my ripped dress in place. The sound of ripping followed suit as I tried to wiggle from him, I turned onto my stomach and he let out a throaty laugh that caused me to halt right away. 

His laugh was just as deadly as his face expressions, I tried to rise to my hands and knees as he pulled himself off of me and grabbing onto my dress to rip it out of his way. The sound of tearing brought tears to my eyes as I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stop what was going to happen, it was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not. And what hurt the most was that no one was coming to save me, I knew my neighbors could hear me but no one was coming to get this monster from atop of me, no one was coming to stop him from taking me forcefully. I could feel the air upon my bare butt as my testes and shaft now hung free for him to see, I tried to rise to my feet but he kicked me in the ass and made me get back to my hands and knees to keep from landing face first into the hay.

“That position is my favorite, such a beautiful sight.” He said, grabbing onto my hip with one hand to hold me in place while using the other to unzip himself. “I’m going to enjoy tearing your little ass apart.”

The sound of his zipper sent me into a frenzy, I fell back onto my stomach and wiggled onto my side while reaching for the wooden fence of Lucille’s cage, hoping to pull myself to safety and get away. Just inches away, I wailed loudly as I was yanked back into his grasp and he placed a hard boot onto my ankle, applying pressure every time I moved around, I cried out as his weight finally gave and he grabbed my hair to turn me to face him. I stared in shock and couldn’t help my mouth falling open in disbelief at the size of his groin, it was a hefty size that was used for no other than impregnating any woman of his favor. Possibly the longest known to mankind, he reached at least thirteen inches with the thick length of a small burning lumbar stick. 

The soldier didn’t halt as he took the chance of shoving himself into my mouth, causing me to gag as he pushed into my throat first thrust. I grabbed onto his clothed thighs as he left only his Johnson exposed to me, I pushed against his thighs in the hope that he would release me as I continued to gag around him. He was stretching my throat painfully and air was seeping drastically, I struggled to breath through my nose as he had it nestled in his pubic hair only seconds later of shoving himself in my mouth. I cried out as fresh, hot tears streamed down my face, I couldn’t believe that he was doing this to me, that he would do something like this to anyone .  

“Yes, take it all, sweetheart. Gobble it up.” He chuckled, releasing a lustful hiss as he pulled his cock back only slightly before pushing it back inside. “Your throat is so smooth, so warm, so hot. Ugh.” He grunted, grabbing onto a ripped portion of my dress and clenching it in his fingers.

As if he was through with my now soiled mouth, he shoved me away by my forehead roughly, causing me to fall onto my back as I gagged and tried to suck in more air, I was struggling and failing drastically with every passing minute. At this rate, he will be taking a part of my nether regions with him whenever he departed from me, and I couldn’t allow that to happen, I had to stop him from taking a part of me no man, nor woman, had ever seen. I tried to rise up to my hands and feet and while successful, the feeling of the cold blade against my testicles halted my motion of rising to my feet as he chuckled heavily, drawing me to look at him. The soldier happily stroked himself to full height as he stared at me with hunger, he released himself and placed his hand on my right globe, making me flinch as he dropped spittle along my arsehole and gently stroked the outer ring of my splinter. 

I felt my lip shiver with uneasiness as I tried to crawl away but he pressed the blade harder against my scrotum, making me halt as he leaned down and spit on my splinter once more, seconds later, he didn’t hesitate to dive his tongue between my swollen globes and tongue at my lower insides. I cried out in shock, as nothing had ever went inside, not even a soiled finger and for him to soil me now so carelessly and freely without any restraint hurt me tremendously. I buried my face in my arms as I pushed back against his face, enjoying the feeling of his tongue lapping and wetting me, it felt amazing to me and the fact that he was doing such a disgusting thing caused my penis to jump alive. I tried to fight the feeling of enjoyment, his tongue left and the tip of him was replaced, making me go flaccid with worry as I tried to put my hand on my thigh and stop him from tainting me forever. He easily smacked my hand away and with one strong thrust, planted himself completely with no remorse of the loud scream that echoed outside the walls of my small shed, Lucille’s moo startled him slightly but he quickly recovered with a grunt, pulling out and shoving back in. 

“Yes…” He drawled in a hiss, grabbing onto the back of my neck as I felt excruciating pain radiate all around my lower body.

My screaming pulled up short as my breath was knocked out of me by another powerful thrust of his hips, my mouth hung open but nothing came out as he assaulted my body freely, my futile fighting left as my upper body sagged to the ground and he had all free will to do as he pleased. I could feel him moving within me, probing and tugging along my innards as he grunted and moaned happily, his muttering was too low to understand but I could easily understand he was enjoying the feeling of being inside of me. My body cramped up easily, I attempted to ball up but the hand resting on my hip wouldn’t allow me as I felt his testes slam against mine forcefully, and it was as if the feeling brought my body out of shock. I screamed again as the waves of pain rocked back and forth along my spine, making me clench up painfully as I attempted to get away. I tried to crawl forward but he easily followed me, plowing mercilessly into me as he smacked along my bottom, happily declaring how amazing my ass felt around him. I cried, begging him to stop as each thrust he gave brought a wave of pain and cramps that were truly unforgiving. 

I felt the drip of something warm slide down my thigh and knew immediately it was my body fluid, my blood was already caking along the group with every little small dribble from the soldier’s balls. He released a high pitch cry as he pulled himself from within me while grabbing my hair and yanking me toward him, I took that as a chance to fight against him in the hopes that he had gotten enough of a taste and would leave. Instead, he lifted his hand and bore it down on me painfully, striking me in the cheek and most definitely leaving a mark as he shoved me to my back and lifted my legs onto his shoulders, exposing me completely to him. I raised my hands to my eyes to shield me from my rapist’s face as he positioned himself between my legs and shoved himself back into me carelessly. He didn’t halt as his previous pace returned and he was plowing himself in and out gruesomely, his huffs and grunts filled the air as he neared his climax, luckily for me. He cried out and pinned his weight down on me as he wrapped his arms around my back and squeezed me up to him tightly, I was positive he was making sure I got every drop he was giving as he bit down on my neck, causing me to cry out harder as I pushed and punched weakly at his chest. 

He released a heavy groan as he slide out of my arsehole and huffed on the putrid air around us, the stench of sex was heavy in the air as I immediately shielded my entire body away from him. Ignoring the pain, I pulled myself into a very tight ball, I felt exposed and dirty that I just wanted to get a knife and shove my own skin away… only if it wouldn’t kill me. His heavy breathing made me peek up at him, praying he was now finished and thankfully he was shoving his bloody organ away into his trousers before zipping them up. He stared at the roof of my shed for a second before turning his stoic, stern brown eyes onto me, and I immediately shielded my face in the fear that he would try to assault me more. My cheek was throbbing heavily and not to mention my entire body felt like I had been hit with a horse-pulled wagon that took the time to ride backward on my body, then ride forward once more. 

I heard the sound of the shed opening and closing, allowing me to come at ease immediately as his presence left mine, I fell to my side and laid balled in my little shell as I sobbed loudly, begging for something like this to not become an occurrence to me or anyone I knew. The sprawled hay dug into my exposed flesh, as I now had nothing but torn pieces of fabric covering nothing. My once beautiful dress, which was once a pale yellow was now soiled by the dirtied hay of blood and small creatures that were housing there, my gown was completely ruined and with nothing covering my bloody backside or busty breast, I had no choice but wait until the darker side of the night to leave the shed. With that in mind, I curled up and tightly closed my eyes, trying to will myself to get rest and heal a little before I made the move from the shed to my house.

Chapter Three

I heard the sound of the Mrs. Margret’s rooster and immediately yanked my eyes open as I realized that I had rested far longer than I had intentions of, I looked around as I tried to remember where I was for a split second. It dawned on me only seconds later that from the sprawled hay, red walls, and the soft humming moo of Lucille that I was in the shed, where I had laid for the entire night. I looked around again, noticing the scraps of my dress that was beyond repair and my shoes were thrown elsewhere in the shed, I had to find them before I left. I slowly sat up, feeling my bones scream as I fought the pain and clenched my teeth until I was in an upright position, the actions of yesterday were easily on my mind as I slowly pulled my feet beneath me, still ignoring the shooting pain coming in waves. I cried out as I pulled myself to my shaky feet and grabbed onto the gate of Lucille’s cage that was housing her, I moaned in agony as I settled there to regain what little strength I possessed and what putrid air that was around. I coughed as I slowly shuffled to where my scrap dressed was laying, I bent down with a whine and grabbed ahold of it before rising up extremely slowly, not wanting to disturb the broken flesh on the inner of my body anymore, as it was already damaged. 

I leaned against the door of the shed before pushing it open and slowly stalking from the shed, I glanced around while pulling my arms up to cover my exposed bosom as the morning, chilled air caused them to immediately harden. I glanced down at my exposed chest to notice the many bruises lingering around and on my chest, I could just imagine the large hand print on my neck, I would have to hide all of this before I stepped out for the day. Taking every step slowly, I stepped forward and moaned, cupping my lower stomach as I took yet another step forward, my balls dangled in the cold air, almost trying to squeeze up to get away. I had to move faster if I wanted to not be seen, or to not even freeze to death. I took another step forward, easily slumping to the ground as pain shot through my back like a cold bullet, dousing my strength and leaving me empty. I cried as I sat there, begging for strength and help as I pulled myself back up and continued to walk with tears continuously pouring down my face at a non-stopping rate. 

I grabbed onto the railing of my large wooden porch of my colonial house, it was two stories with a entire porch circling the whole settlement, I had adorned my porch with a swing for two and decorative chairs for style and color. I slowly lifted a foot to the first step, clenching my fist as I slowly moved step to step, I no longer cared if anyone saw my nude body now. I felt too weak to hold my arm over my chest and allowed it to fall as I made it to my door and slowly stepped over the risen threshold before swinging the door shut without missing a beat. I locked each four deadbolts before slouching toward the living area to get toward the bathing area, I pushed the door open and happily walked to the tub, leaving the door open without a care as I stayed with myself. I turned the faucet and allowed the water to run on its warm setting while stripping what little of the torso that was left from the dress. I allowed the scrap to fall to my feet beside the tub before carefully stepping in and sitting down slowly. 

The feeling of the warm water along my ass causing me to flinch back up as I hissed a curse word before slamming my fist angrily against the beautiful, white acrylic tub in the middle of the floor of my bathing area. I fought the burning sensation and pain that radiated from the water as I settled down and closed my eyes, attempting to fight the feeling of tears building up behind my shut lids. I was tired of crying already and plus crying wouldn’t take the memory away. The feeling of his hands holding me down, the feeling of his hands squeezing me until everything was about to go black, the feeling of his eyes watching me knowingly, the feeling of his penis piercing inside me carelessly, breaking my innards . 

The last thought caused me to shiver in disgust, what human being would do that to someone else? I curled up in the tub, slowly allowing my eyes to pull open as blurriness lingered and I stared at the figure standing by the door. The figure stood there in a dark green uniform, it was taut against his masculine frame as he stood in the pose of formation, his lips pulled into a tight smirk as I fought to keep my eyes on him, to stop them from closing. There was no way he could be in my house, no way possible . I tried to keep my eyes open but it was a losing battle as everything went dark and the world around me appeared to disappear completely. 

I pulled my eyes open and shivered at the feeling of the chilled water encasing me completely, everything was completely blurry and covered in water as it dawned on me that my head was dunked under water. I quickly pulled myself up as I heaved in a heavy gasp of air I didn’t realize I needed so badly, I coughed as I pulled my upper body over the side of the tub and heaved for air, coughing heavily as I blinked before looking at the clock only inches away from the doorway of my encased bathing area. The

doorway . I turned my eyes toward it before shamefully looking away, I easily understood that my mind was playing games with me, there was no way that my rapist could get into my home without causing me to notice his presence. The four deadbolts going lose would tell me so, the sound of glass breaking would tell me so, the sound of his harsh and heavy footsteps would tell me so. 

It was dead quiet around the household as usual, I didn’t have small, furry creatures to keep me company and tear up my belongings, nor did I have children cooped inside to help me with dinner and to read bedtime stories like everyone else. Perhaps that was what I needed, perhaps I need a little furry creature to keep me sane while this journey had just begun. What if he comes back… my mind started up again, easily drawing to him as I easily knew he wasn’t thinking of me as much as I was thinking of him. He wouldn’t dear return after such a horrendous thing he did to me, I wanted to find out who this stranger was, who my rapist was so that I could warn others about him. 

For him to do such a disgusting thing to me, a human being, was beyond shocking and the thought of him doing that to Tatianna or little Emily broke my heard down completely. I had no idea what his age range was, considering I was freshly reaching adult and while I was legal, I looked younger than legal and could possibly pass that I wasn’t legal to get that disgusting man locked away. But do you want

him locked away ?

My mind started up once more. Don’t do this, anything but not this . I told it, hoping that it would will away the unrightfully, disgusting thoughts. 

“Why me.” I muttered to myself as tears sprung from my eyes.

I was hurt something like this would happen to me, why would anyone human degrade and use someone like this, where were people hearts now days, their hearts and their minds? I felt disgusted, even sitting in clear water that was only tainted slightly red from the dried blood that was no longer around my buttocks. I blinked before rising up and while completely nude, unclogging the drain of my tub to allow the dirtied water to leave. I didn’t bother covering myself as I walked back toward the living area and headed up the stairs inside my home to get to my bedroom, I walked slowly and carefully, not wanting to upset my insides as I made it toward my bedroom and immediately felt safe. My bedroom was the biggest room in the house, and not to mention the large canopy bed that sat right against the center wall, I crawled into bed and pulled the heavy woven sheets above my head completely. I was immediately sucked into the darkness of my comfortable bed as the sun beamed heavily inside of my room, as I hadn’t pulled the curtains to block it’s rays. 

As I laid in bed, looking at the beam from under the covers, I wished I had so I would be able to pity in the darkness of safety, in my own room, in my own mind, in my own emptiness. I lowered the sheets, shielding my eyes momentarily as they adjusted to the bright rays while I remembered I had to leave the safety of my own home today, I sighed as I pushed myself from the sheets and walked toward my large balcony door that led out to the large balcony connected to my room. I grabbed the curtains and glanced outside to look at the world around my home, the grass was so beautiful with many open fields extending further and further away, all the way to the horizon, it was so beautiful. I squinted my eyes as I noticed a black dot moving around, my eyes widened and I yanked the curtains closed aggressively, not wanting the patrolling horseman to notice me watching him from a distance. I turned and looked around frantically, I hoped they weren’t going to start inspecting our homes today because I had nothing of the sorts, and the last thing I needed was to be prosecuted. 

I scurried to my dark oak, six-drawer dresser in a very quickened pace, going to the first drawer while still completely nude, I pulled it open and grabbed the first thing on top. I corrected the dressing gown and pulled it over my head, not bothering to loosen the corset that was built inside of it, I gave up trying to wiggle it over my giant bosoms and untied the strands before wiggling forcefully into the gown. I then retightened the straps and grabbed the brush sitting atop of my vanity, I sat on the stool carefully and ignored the aching strike that hit my spine while brushing my hair. My white curls were still dampen and I tied a daffodil-colored scarf around my head to keep the messy locks out of sight, I tucked a long curl inside and tightened the scarf before rising back up and walking to slide a pair of outside slippers onto my feet. 

I slide the left one on first, lowering down to tighten the strands and just as I rose to my feet, I heard the sound of a carriage crunching by, I quickly slide on the right foot and tighten the straps before grabbing my satchel of coins and hurrying down the stairs as carefully as possible. I reached the door and swung it open, halting immediately as I stared at Mrs. Williamson, who gently smiled up at me with a nervous expression, her eyes glanced around my living area as Mr. Williamson carelessly entered past me and sat a portrait of Jeremy M. Williams beside the door then turned to leave.

“Hello, Ms. Elle, how do you do this dawning morning.” She asked, attempting to make conversation.

“Ah, I am quiet alright, Mrs. Williamson, and you?” I asked, staring at her in awe as she was standing on my porch.

She wore a petticoat covering most of her gown, but the beauty of the soft blue that floating close to the end of her feet blew me away, her soft blonde hair was pulled into an up-do that was very beautiful on her. She was always so beautiful, as we both had grew up around the same people and she always drew the attention to her. She smiled and gestured toward the painting that her husband had left on the side of my wall. It was rather embarrassing that I was taking something she purchased, as she always sassed around that she was married to the richest man around and that she was better than anyone in the area, and she truly was. Her husband gave her whatever she wanted, in the drop of his finger, as he gave her a gigantic mansion, purchased her own carriage service, and bought her every fine jewelry she saw while traveling around. I could easily understand why Harry Williamson was doing everything in her wishes and made sure to fulfill her every need because she was indeed a looker, gorgeous and eye candy to any man around her. 

“I am very well, Harry and I are dropping pictures to everyone in the neighborhood.” She said almost teasingly. “If you already have one, we’ll take that one back and give it to he next person. 

“Actually, Mrs. Williamson, I will take this portrait, as I had no time to stop and get me one today and it’s late evening so I’m sure the market is yet about closed. Thank you, very, very much.” I said, almost wanting to smack the smirk off her face as she gave me a curt nod and turned to leave, waving her hand enthusiastically behind her. 

I shut the door, almost releasing a sigh of relief until I realized that I had put nothing on the stove to eat and my stomach was screaming for food, I moaned as I grabbed the portrait and walked toward the wall across from the doorway. Resting across the doorway was a console table, which held a beautiful array of flowers and I rested the portrait against the wall before taking a step back to look at it. The portrait was gigantic, Jeremy M. Williams was happily giving a stern expression in an off-ward direction past the camera, his serious expression was almost amusing, that was something I knew I couldn’t tell anyone though, as no one was safe anymore. Not even Jeremy M. Williams himself. With a dry sign, I turned and made my way to my kitchen to put on a pot of tea and make whatever was sitting in the storage bin for later tonight, as it would probably take time to cook.

Chapter Four

AWARE: RAPE

I gasped while lurching up at the heard knock that came only wee hours in the morning, a large frown came over my face as I questioned who was at my door this early, I pulled myself from the sheets as another hard knock brought me back to reality. I slipped on my house slippers and scurried down the stairs before peeking through my window curtain to see four dawned in green uniforms… inspection. I grabbed the door while tightening my sleeping coat tighter around me, I pulled it open as I had left the door unlocked without really thinking about it, I’m lucky I didn’t have to come to regret that decision. I quickly stepped aside and hide my face in the hopes that the man that haunted my dreams wasn’t part of the group, but of course it was dumb for me to think that someone higher ranking wouldn’t lead them around. 

“Inspection.” A deep grunted voice spoke up, making me peek up and quickly drop my head as my heart dropped in my stomach.

I stayed put by my door as the higher ranker looked around my house slowly, as if he was memorizing everything about it before he turned his attention to me and tossed a flyer of paper in my direction. I leaned down and picked the paper up slowly without making eye contact of any sorts, the other three soldiers paraded around my room while going through my belongings and taking the now prohibited items. I refused to move any closer to them as they worked, I stayed at the door and watched the all of them except him, I couldn’t find the energy or dignity to even glance in his direction. However, I could feel his penetrating gaze staring me up and down, as if he was admiring me in my pajamas and reminiscing what happened between us in the shed to be a good thing. 

I watched as one of the soldiers entered my pantry and fanned through the items in there before simply walking away and leaving boxes of grains, potatoes, and a few other items sprawled by the pantry door in a large mess. I felt disrespected but I refused to say anything as I pierced my lips tightly and watched as they ransacked my house for the worst, one of the soldiers flipped my couch and ripped the bottom open with a blade before digging inside. I turned my head away so I wouldn’t have to look at them treat my belongings like they were nothing, I didn’t want them to rip apart my furniture and destroy my food but there was nothing I could do about it.

“Clear!” A soldier yelped suddenly, causing me to immediately flinch as I looked at him with alert.

“Exit.” He demanded them, I took a step back from the door as the three soldiers field out of my house in a single line while holding a few items. 

I finally looked into his brown eyes as he reached forward and grabbed the front door, I expected him to shut it upon his departure but instead, he slammed the door heavily and locked it. I took a large step back and didn’t bother hiding the fear that drastically washed over my face, I looked at him while glancing around my destroyed house for an exit. The back door was an exit but that was already half across the house and I knew he’d catch me by the time I even make it three steps away from the door. I knew that deep down I had only once choice and as he reached to grab my arms and pin then over my head, I surrendered. I allowed him to lift my clothing to my hips and pondered his next move as he took a small pause, and the only think I could imagine him doing was examining my body. I prayed he spotted the bruising and such along my body from his previous assault on me but my prays were unheard as I heard the jingling of his trousers coming undone. 

“P-Please…” I whispered with a gulp, I don’t know if I can mentally handle something like this happening again.

“Shut up.” He whispered sternly, causing a small flinch to escape my tiny frame that was easily towered by his. “You’re nothing but my little cum-bucket, remember that.” He grunted.

I gasped as he invaded my insides aggressively, it felt as if my flesh was tearing as he shoved himself to the hilt carelessly, a scream echoed from within me before his hand clasped over my mouth. I felt soft warm liquid fill my mouth as pain rocketed down my spine and along the tip of my tongue, it immediately registered I had bit my tongue severely. I could feel the blood tickling from my gaped mouth as I stood froze and allowed him to use me to his own pleasure. His length jarred in and out painfully, sliding along my insides over and over as he thrusted back and forth with every hitching breath. It dawned on me that he was thankfully getting close to coming when his knees almost bucked but he caught himself and shoved deeply inside of me, causing my breath to escape. I heaved for air as he removed his hand soaked with my blood from my mouth and wiped it along my back to clean it. 

He slid out of me, leaving a trail of cum to trickle down the back of my thighs as I slumped down to my knees and looked up at him, feeling no emotion as he stared back at me with a smug look. Again, he had taken me and had no remorse of how I felt about it, I was nothing but a used toy to him now, one he could come and go with anytime he was near, I was disgusted. He nudged me with his foot as he buckled himself away before grabbing the handle to my front door and pulling it open, leaving me in plain sight of the other soldiers as they waited in a uniform line. I refused to look at them as I felt all their eyes on me, I didn’t want to see their faces and remember their expressions at the sight of me. 

I refused to remember no one was willing to help me anymore. A heavy slam of my front door was the signal that broke the dam I had been holding back for so long, tears caressed my cheeks as I released a heavy sob and bowed my head submissively. I wiped at tears that were only replaced soon after, I was tired of this feeling of misuse and disgust and I knew the only way to stop it was to do something about it. I slowly rose to my feet, feeling a sharp cramp in my lower back as I stumbled forward a step and to only collapse back to my knees. 

Useless.

I reached up and wiped more tears before reaching a shaky hand toward my buttocks and feeling at the wet substance lingering there, the tender touch caused pain to rocket up my spine and for me to halt any movement. 

Misused.

I held my breath as I repeatedly told myself everything would be okay, mentally I believed it, physically… it was impossible. I once again rose to my feet and gingerly took a step forward, squinting my eyes to hopefully minimize the cramping as I moved foot by foot forward. I pushed against the pain as I stumbled toward the console with Jeremy M. Williams portrait sitting atop, I stared at the portrait as it was like a light bulb went off in my head, I knew what I could do about it. I moved onward, stumbling toward my bathroom with the thought constantly ringing in my head, I nibbled on my lip as I debated my decision, would it truly help my situation? I turned the faucet to a hot setting before reaching up and unzipping my sleeping coat, as there had been a slight chill in the air last night or perhaps my hormones weren’t at their best.

 Shock tended to cause hormones to go haywire and because I didn’t have my mother around anymore, I had to learn for myself how to cope with the sudden change in my body. I added soap to my running water before slowly sinking into my tub, I bottomed inside and hissed at the feeling of the acrylic pressure against my butt, it was painful to sit now. I curled onto my side and allowed my head to rest back against the edge of the tub, my eyes fell onto my sleeping coat, looking at the bloody hand print that had smeared down the backside. I saw the smallest taint of blood in my bath water as it dried against my chin and painted my lips a bright red, at least I was pretty healthy. I stayed there, allowing my eyes to fall shut as I relaxed in the water and felt tiredness overtake my conscious… my mind was made, I couldn’t keep living like this.

• • * 

Dear President Williams,           It seems that you’re colonel ranking soldier has an obsession with me…

No…

Dear President Williams,           Recently, I’ve come into contact with your colonel ranking soldier and he’s been too aggressive and abusive toward me…

Nope.

Dear President Williams,            My name is…

I probably shouldn’t state my name… I’ll make it anonymous, however, I can’t make it anonymous because I wouldn’t be able to receive a reply from the president. I groaned and allowed my head to fall back on the pillow as I debated my choice, was this truly a good decision? I reached up and rubbed at my tired eyes before sighing and grabbing the bowl of grits I had prepared for myself, spooning a little into my mouth, I allowed the sweet taste to savor along my tongue. I sat the bowl aside as I decided I would start with the first option. 

Dear President Williams,           It has recently occurred to me that your colonel ranking has become aggressively obsessed with me, it would be kind if you were able to stop his previous advances against my being and to address that he stop harassing me. I’m nothing but someone trying to find peace in the town as many others are but he isn’t allowing me to carefully examine my need of life because he constantly is hurting me. I’ve had two incidents where he has taken me against my will. Please help me with this dilemma I am facing.                       Elle…

Should I put my last name? Probably not. I sighed as I sat the letter aside and stared ahead at the nothingness, but seeing everything. This was a life I hadn’t chose for myself, nor did I beg to have a life like this, all I wanted was for someone to love and cherish me for who I was, not someone to beat and abuse me to their own needs of pleasure. Deciding that I had no other choice but to ask the president for help, I folded the letter neatly and placed it in the envelope. I licked the envelope flap closed before signing my address so that I would be able to have the president write me back. I could only hope he would want to help me and tell me that his colonel ranker wasn’t allowed to be around me anymore, yeah, he would do that. 

I was a Mali citizen and because he was president, our health should be his most top priority and I was positive that if he wasn’t going to tell the colonel to leave me alone, he would at least find a way to make him stop taking me against my will. I sat the letter aside, knowing I would have to put in my mailbox so that it could be shipped to him tomorrow. I grabbed my bowl of grits and felt an accomplishing grace fall over my body, my shoulders relaxed as I allowed my eyes to close and a small smile cracked along my face as I felt better. I felt so much better because I knew, the president was going to put a stop to this, he was the one with all the power. 

What are your views on the story so far?

Chapter Five

I tightened my housecoat before pulling the door open and peeking around quickly to see if anyone was outside today, it was a sort of mild day with small showers on and off so far, as it was only the afternoon. I scratched my neck nervously while looking at the postman as he was being pulled on his wagon with crates of mail by a pale white horse that I was sure he kept in the stables. I eased from my front door and left it ajar so I could enter back inside easily, I hadn’t seen any of my neighbors since the first ever encounter with my rapist other than Mr. Harry Williamson’s wife, Elizabeth Williamson and that was only because she had come to my house. I was sure that they knew something happened that day, I was sure everyone knew about what happened and while I knew there wasn’t going to be much to pursue their thoughts of me, I had to make sure nothing changed. 

I flagged the mailman as I clutched the letter tightly to my chest with my other hand, he trotted closer to me with a fine smile on his face before reaching his hand out to take the piece of mail I had to offer. I passed him the mail before taking a step back and watching as he scanned the address before storing it in the rightful place, right beside him… I decided to push the thought away and figure that it must be his last stop and he wanted to make sure it got to the right person. Just as I turned and started to head back into my home, the safety that was no longer safe from the taunting and visions of the man adorn in a green uniform, I heard someone call into the air. I quickly whirled around and looked to see it was one of my neighbors, Mrs. Davis. She waved at me and while it felt sort of odd, I casually waved back while swearing in my head as she rose to her feet from her gardening and started in my direction. I watched, clasping my hands together nervously while hoping that what has happened wouldn’t become topic of conversation for us, as Mrs. Davis truly doesn’t think before she speaks. 

“Good morning, Miss Michaels!” Mrs. Beverly Davis said excitedly, making me smile lightly at her in a polite manner, though it was quite hard.

“Good morning, Mrs. Davis.” I replied, trying to dead the awkwardness showing immediately.

Mrs. Davis and I weren’t the closest around but we definitely knew when and how to strike a conversation with one another, but as of now, it seemed hard to think of what to talk about since I stayed in the house everyday to avoid the realization I felt. I didn’t want to know if people knew what happened, I didn’t want to know if anyone heard me screaming that night because that only means one thing, they didn’t care enough to help me. I crossed my arms over my chest as a small breeze caressed the surface of the earth, it was a little cold from the showers but it was manageable and I could deal at least for a couple of minutes before going back inside. Mrs. Davis was always so kind and naïve, an arranged marriage to Mr. Edward Davis signified her tragic destiny of simple kids and a hotheaded husband that refused to listen to her lonely days. I found myself envying Mrs. Davis however, at least she had a husband and she could have children, I had neither. A gorgeous woman, Mrs. Davis stood at least five feet with flowing orange hair that was always puffy and reaching her shoulders, the same style was curly and thick everyday. Her eyes were a small almond shape, blue color with eyelids she adored in eyeliner to add to her gorgeous features, her lips were in a natural pouty state and it only made her look more gorgeous. Her breast were almost medium size, not too large but not too small either, nearly perfect with a taut stomach and I was sure she had gorgeous legs if she showed them more often. Of course showing all that skin wasn’t right of women to do, it was actually quite unsettling for a man to see a woman so open with her figure, it only made women seem more like sex objects if anything. I was a sex object now…

“How do you do?” She asked, cocking her head lightly in my direction, her eyes scanning my body swiftly.

Her casual glance easily made me feel uneasy as she crossed her arms over her chest and eyed me closely, making me immediately feel that her intentions weren’t friendly at all. I took a heavy breath to prepare myself as I knew her bickering would start, or rather her teasing manner that I knew way to often. It was what made me become distant from her, I guess her bantering at her husband and him finally breaking down to buy her carriage service lets her believe that she can banter anyone and get what she want now.  

“I’m just fine, how are you, Mrs. Davis?” I asked politely as possible, I tried to suppress my casual glance over back but I couldn’t help myself. 

“Oh, I’m just swell. Are you sure you’re fine, Miss Michaels? Just surely days ago, I heard yells from your ba-”

“Ah, I had fallen on my favorite rake for the leaves.” I told her. “Surely no one came to my help.” I said, my eyes staring directly at her.

“Oh, well…” Her eyes lowered from mine momentarily. “Daniel and I sort of… was ambushed by… a guard.” She said, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“Ah… is that so?” I said. “And what was it he ambushed you for?” I pushed onward.

“Our… carriage, but decided to take… my jewelry Daniel bought on a trip in Rollward.” Mrs. Davis continued with her obvious lie, her lips pursed as she glanced back at her house before looking at me with a uneasy smile. “I’m just happy you’re well, I hope you’re fine and your rake didn’t break.”

“Oh, it didn’t, Mrs. Davis… I hope you get money to get your jewelry back.” I said, smiling as friendly as possible. 

I turned away to walk back toward my front door when I heard Mrs. Davis take a abrupt step forward, I quickly whirled around and looked at her with alertness as she gave me yet another uneasy smile while her flowing dress swirled in the air. 

“Perhaps you should come by.” She said, her eyes staring me up and down. “We can have a cup of tea… coffee for you, of course.” 

I debated the offer, I knew she was curious and knew there wasn’t a favorite rake that I had for my leaves, I never raked my leaves because Mr. Randson’s bellboy always come to make a small penny to rake my yard. I took a heavy gulp and forced myself to nod to her offer, I then turned and hurried back inside my house, feeling the chill against the back of my neck and growing colder every second. I reached up as I hurriedly shut the door and wiped at the cold sweat running from my forehead, what is wrong with me? I felt sick to the stomach as I took heavy breaths, perhaps it was the fact that Mrs. Davis almost brought up the barn incident that sent me into a nervous breakdown. I reached up and pushed my strands of white hair out of my face before looking around my house with heavy breaths, I could smell him, I could hear his footsteps… I could feel him reaching to touch me!

A yelp escaped my mouth as I made a mad dash for the kitchen, I quickly grabbed the sharp knife in the knife block and whirled around with the knife pointed in his direction. My heart fell as I heard a soft jingle and looked down at small puppy before me as it stared at me with it’s ears flat against it’s head and it’s head cocked to the side curiously. I lowered the knife with my mouth gaping open in shock, I was truly hallucinating right now, I dropped the knife on the counter while willing myself to loosen my grip and exit my survival mode. Why couldn’t I do that whenever he comes around to hurt me, this has been the second time and I had to step up to make sure a third time didn’t happen. I took a heavy breath and blinked to see the small puppy still staring at me curiously, upon noticing my gaze, it’s tail went haywire as I took a step forward and it started yelping adorably at me. 

It was a small Yorkshire terrier puppy with a tiny red collar on it, I paused as it halted it’s jumping motion and stared at me curiously again, it’s head adorably cocked to the side. I took another step and it started jumping up and down in a very hyper manner, I lowered myself to my knees and it reached out to touch it nervously. It’s soft hair brushed my hands as I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing it by it’s two front paws and yanking it into my body, it was exactly what I needed right now, proof that the world was still innocent. I clutched it tightly as it’s little body wiggled in my arms, I felt a tear escape but help the rest back as I pulled away and it licked at my chin, making me giggle lightly. I went to open my arms when nothing exited them, I frowned as I looked around wildly for the small Yorkshire terrier but it was nowhere in sight, it was oddly as adorable as the one I had as a child. I lowered my eyes as I knew my breaking point was nearing everyday I clung to my fear, I nibbled on my lip as it dawned on me exactly why I was having that vision of the puppy that I had when younger… I wanted my innocence back. 

But it was already gone… far gone.

Chapter Six

I sighed before reaching up and knocking on the Davis’ door, I immediately regretted it as it swiftly swung open and a cheesing Mrs. Davis poked her head out to observe me before stepping aside and letting me in. I stepped in swiftly, I adored myself in a casual gown that was a dark brown with long sleeves, exposing my large bosoms and smooth neck, I gave her a polite smile as I passed her. My smile immediately fell as I spotted Mr. Davis swiftly turn and head back toward the kitchen where male voices were rising by the second, I guess there was a invention going on in their kitchen. I turned to look at her as she lead me over to the couch and gestured to the tray of liquids, I forced myself to have a seat across from her and take a prepared cup of coffee. Mrs. Davis was dressed down in a fancy black evening gown with silver buckles holding it closed down the front of her dress, her chest was bared to the world as the crevasse encased a golden necklace. The kitchen was a very high buzz with lots of shouts from within, as well as the stench of cigars making it harder to breath, I cleared my throat while shyly glancing at the kitchen doorway that was shut.

“Thank you for coming over, Miss Michaels.” She said eagerly, lifting her small teacup to take a teasing sip.

I reached forward and grabbed two sugar cubes before dropping them in my coffee carefully, making sure to let it not splash and ruin my dress. I then grabbed the provided teacup spoon to stir my mixture together before taking a sip of the scorching liquid, loving the burn as it hit my tongue and the rest of my mouth while sliding down my throat next. I took a heavy breath, the burn was incredible and it had been so long since I tasted coffee, I hadn’t picked up a ration to get coffee so I was screwed for at least two more days before the month was finally over.

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Davis.” I replied, smiling ever so lightly before quickly allowing it to fall.

“Will you be going to the market tomorrow?” She asked, immediately striking a conversation, which made me nod in response. “Rations are being handed out today, Glady said you didn’t pick your ration last month.” And already, in my business.

“I surely didn’t, it’s hard getting used to the new system.” I said, not letting the truth slip the slightest. 

 I wasn’t comfortable with her knowing that the reason I didn’t pick up my rations was because I had been raped the day before by the colonel of the army that was suppose to protect me from men like him in the army. I took another sip of the scorching coffee before setting it back on the tray and smoothing out the brown gown that suddenly felt so tight against my stomach, I noticed that my breathing was suddenly becoming very laboring, I needed to calm down and fast. I clasped my hands in front of me before looking at Mrs. Davis with a forced smile while hoping she wouldn’t question my behavior, of course, I knew that would happen eventually though.

“Are you okay, Miss Michaels?” She asked immediately, I took a heavy breath through my nose.

“Ah, yes I am. Just… tired.” I reasoned enough, which she nodded to.

“That’s understandable, I surely don’t see you that much anymore, Miss Michaels. Usually you’re gardening or shopping in the market, I’ve seen you doing neither.” I nodded endlessly through her entire spill.

“I’ve gotten extremely tired some days, where I sleep the day away, so.” I said, shrugging, which wasn’t very ladylike but I didn’t care, this cigar smoke was growing suffocating.

“Come with me.” Mrs. Davis said, hopping to her feet abruptly, almost knocking over her teacup. 

I frowned at her in confusion at her sudden movement, I slowly rose to my feet while looking at her closely while she reached and grabbed my arm to lead me toward the kitchen. I wanted to dig my feet into the ground but stopped myself as I decided to comply with her demand, I was clueless why we were about to bombard into the kitchen full of men but didn’t ask. I saw no reason to ask as she pushed the swinging door of the kitchen doorway before pulling me in behind her. The smoke was more suffocating, of course, and it took everything in me to not fan my hand in front of my face as I looked at the table of men, seven men sat around the circular table with each holding a lit cigar and spade cards covering the table, they were gambling. I felt completely overran by the smoke and the amount of men in the room, the amount of large men in the room. I looked over at Mrs. Davis with confusion until she stepped a few steps forward, easily grabbing Mr. Davis attention as his eyebrows lowered in confusion again and he rose to his feet.

“Bev, what are you doing in here?” He asked, curling his lip while gesturing to the men at the table, he was attempting to appear like the one that was dominate in the relationship. 

“Hush, Edward Daniel Davis, I’m not here to speak to you.” She said snappily, and the fact that she used his whole name said it all, she was upset with him about something. 

I looked back at the table, finally taking the time to look at everyone present and by the time I got past most of the faces, my face fell at the sight of green uniforms. There were a couple of soldiers present and one look oddly familiar as there were only two other men I hadn’t took the chance to look at yet.  

“Bev-” Mr. Davis attempted once more.

“ DANIEL !“ Mrs. Davis yelped, glaring at him openly.

“Love, I told you call me by my first name around company.” He whined openly, almost ready to stop his foot in front of us all, his lit cigar hanging at his side in a pouty formation.

I ignored the two bickering lowly at each other and looked back at the table as my eyes widened automatically at the sight of the colonel ranking uniform man as he stood up to his feet and eyed me closely. His eyes hungrily ate me up and down as I felt suffocated, but this time not from the cigar smoke, instead from his hungry gaze upon my tiny frame as he stood towering from a distance. He took a heavy puff of his cigar before lowering it and blowing out the smoke while his gaze never left mine until I couldn’t take it anymore and turned my head away, looking away from him, unknowing to me, that gave him all access to view my blemish-free neck. I looked uncomfortably at Mr. and Mrs. Davis as they continued to snap back and forth between each other, my eyebrows rose in shock that they were acting like this at the moment. 

“Edward.” A deep, penetrating voice caused me to flinch as I looked at the standing colonel ranker holding his cigar between his lips, as did everyone else. “I apologize but my men and I are to depart the premises, as I can’t be around… it.” He said rudely.

I lowered my head as all eyes fell on me next, as if waiting for me to either confirm or deny the accusation from the colonel, I could only stand in one place with my mind going in circles while debating what I should do for myself. 

I should just leave. 

I should just leave.

 I should just leave.

I whirled around to make a sudden escape but was stopped as my arm was grabbed very hard and caused a cry to escape me, I looked back at the colonel with awe that he moved so quickly to grab me. I shakily tried to yank my arm away but it was useless as he eyed me closely, his cold eyes freezing me from the inside out, I was scared to move as he stared down at me with disgust and anger. 

“You’re gonna get what you deserve, you whore.” He whispered toward me before releasing me. “Going to Williams didn’t help you at all, it just showed that I’m gonna have to cut your little fingers off.” 

He released me and I quickly took a step back, tears caressed my cheeks as I backed into the island and stared at him with utter fear as realization hit me with what he said, I eyed him closely while making sure he wouldn’t try to attack me. I stayed silent, not sure exactly what to say as I eyed him closely and to make it worse, no one said a word as they watched what happened between him and I. I lowered my head once more as his gaze fell up on me before disappearing as he exited with two guards behind him, I paused for a second before slowly making my way out of the house of the Davis’ as well. I hurried home as I spotted their retrieving backs, I moved swiftly and quietly as I rushed to my house and slammed my door shut, locking it behind me as something slammed against it suddenly. I whirled around and held my breath as I kept my back against the door, a heavy chuckle that was too familiar caused my blood to run cold. Tears only feel heavier as I slid down the front door and clutched myself tightly, feeling cold as I balled up and begged for something, anything that would keep me from what was going to soon happen. I heard a loud crash as glass shattered into many pieces, that chuckling happened again as I blinked a few times to try to clear my suddenly blurry vision. A loud cry echoed from within me as everything suddenly went black and I could here footsteps and saw black boots momentarily before everything went black once more. I sort of feel into a subconscious state as I saw nothing but felt everything, the feeling of him shredding my dress off my body and climbing atop of me, I felt him groping my skin and heard the laughing of his men as they watched on eagerly. 

  

  

I awoke on the ground with semen caked around me and on me, I hurried to the tub and soaked as long as my body allowed me before everything I touched felt like rubber, tears soaked in the bathtub with me as I tried to soak away the disgust feeling. I then crawled into bed, my tears now soaking my pillow as I sobbed my pain away, but of course, the feeling of disgust and pain never goes away. I was forever scarred with the things that man did to me, what was it about me that caused him to keep coming to me, was it the fact that I was weak and would never get anyone to help me, let alone defend myself? I sobbed harder, balled up tightly while hoping the bruising on my hips wouldn’t last too long, the impressions of his fingers digging into my flesh was there and I wanted it to go away. I took a heavy breath as I started to choke on my lack of sudden air, the crying was easily exhausting me but every time I attempted to take a breath, I only choked on more sobs. A hiccup escaped as I sat up and wiped my teary face at the sound of a door knock, I ignored it and only curled more into bed as the pounding rug through my dark and empty house. I was sure it was Mrs. Davis, probably coming to be nosy and see exactly what the colonel was talking about… I was curious of his name anyway, perhaps I will have to do some eavesdropping and figure out a few things that might come in handy.

Chapter Seven

I heard a snicker and glanced behind me at the three women circled together while admiring the group of guards standing on duty, I was disgusted at their behavior but could only shake my head as I swarmed with the crowd of citizens idolizing the market. The market was just a large area with many vendors trying to sell everything in their stock, I was in need of a few home items that needed to be replaced from inspection. I cradled my market basket tightly to my chest as I adorned a small black gown that was made for the market specifically, it wasn’t to short to drag along the dirt ground, the lose fabric helped with ventilation so I wouldn’t get extremely hot on the sunny days that come more frequently here. I, for once, blended in with the crowd of men and women doing their weekly shopping after picking up their personal rations. I entered the line for rations while still clutching my basket to my chest, I glanced around at the multiple guards that were eyeing every person that passed, trying to memorize their faces. I finally looked at the guard handing out rations and felt like there was never going to be a break for me, the colonel passed a green slip of rations to the person before him before causally dismissing the person with the wave of a hand. I timidly stepped forward and couldn’t resist staring at the man’s masculine physic as he kept his head lowered to the folds of papers before him. 

“E-Elle, Ell…” What’s wrong with me?!

He looked up with a casual sneer that appeared into a smirk as he immediately recognized me, I felt the wires of my basket digging into my hands and quickly loosened my tightened grip as I suddenly felt suffocated.

“Come on, Freak!” Someone yelled angrily from the back of the line. 

I flinched at the nickname before glancing back to see who said it exactly, it was a useless thing to do considering it was so many people molded together into a large blob of the market. I wasn’t going to be able to pinpoint who said it exactly but it was worth the effort. 

“Elle Michaels.” The colonel spoke, making me turn back around in shock. He knew my name…

I quickly looked at his nametag on his uniform to see Greene, I was curious of his first name but didn’t have the time to even ask him a simple question as a pink slip was handed to me while he marked my name off the list before him. I took the slip with a shaky hand before sparing him a uneasy glance then scurrying away quickly while looking at the slip in my hand, it was a large sheet with multiple ripping tickets. I got ten vegetable and fruit tickets, one ticket gives me the choice of five fruit and five vegetables, meaning if I used every ticket, I’d have fifty fruits and vegetables for the week. Also with my ten vegetable and fruit tickets, I got seven meat tickets that gave me two meats from one ticket, as well as ten grain tickets for oatmeal and such. I was happy to finally have my rations because constantly eating porridge was becoming casually bland, almost disgusting. I also had sugar rations, two bags of sugar was all I got for the week. I was mighty pleased with my weekly rations and started shopping immediately, I moved from vendor to vendor, buying ruthlessly but making sure to spare certain rations. 

It was rather odd that the market had a large renovation done after Jeremy M. Williams entered office, he must of told all selling vendors that all items had be as a cluster and whatever cluster the buyer picked, they got everything inside of it for a ticket. Everything was better organized and with the guards around, everyone seemed to act pretty civil for once. 

I carried my basket close as I eyed the people around me, the market was always uncomfortable to me but after everything that has happened recently, I hated the market now. I licked my dry lips as I moved to a vegetable vendor and picked out a few items before paying for it with my first ever spent ration, I sat a cluster of two cucumbers, five asparagus in a bundle, three carrots, one head of lettuce, and a baggage of spinach in my basket. I looked at the stamp on the cluster that resembled my ration with my name on it, I moved onward, moving to a fruit vendor and looking at the many clusters he had before deciding I would get one with two apples, two oranges, three vines of grapes, a baby melon, and three pomegranates. I sat the cluster by the cluster of vegetables before moving to the next vendor, taking the time to admire the jewelry that was hand crafted and on display as he made a purchase with someone else at the booth. I looked at the pair of earrings that were definitely gorgeous and made of soft blue yarn and pink dyed pearls, they were stunning and had my name written all over them, but the price said otherwise.

“Miss Michaels!” I turned and looked at Mrs. Davis as she paraded around in a fine gown, her hair flowing beautifully under the chilled morning rays. “I am so glad to see you, I was so worri-”

“Mrs. Davis…” I replied uneasily at the feeling of being watched, casually glancing around to make sure I didn’t have a peeping colonel watching my every move.

My eyes landed on his immediately as I scanned the ration booth, he had moved aside to let one of his guards take control and was casually but openly staring at me, eyeing me closely and I could feel my heart jump in my chest as I nervously glanced back at Mrs. Davis before turning and scurrying to another booth, and of course she was hot on my heels. It was a grain booth, I smiled kindly at the man as he offered a whole wheat cluster, which I quickly declined and then he offered the same to Mrs. Davis. I eyed his clusters carefully, spotting one with three servings of corn in a plastic baggage, one baggage of oats, and one serving baggage of white rice, I pointed to the cluster and he wrapped it in plastic like the others before stamping the label. I thanked him as I handed him my ration before carrying the last cluster because my basket was completely stuffed with the first two clusters, and I had no room for meat. I tried my best and balanced everything but it was useless as I almost dropped my cluster and I frowned, I didn’t want to make two trips home and to the market, but I guess I would have to. 

“… and you suddenly left, it shook me to the cor-” Mrs. Davis was casually ranting, picking through the displayed clusters that were for anyone’s grabs.

“Oh, I apologize, Mrs. Davis but I-” I tried to cut her off.

“Ah, Mrs. Davis…” I froze as I was cut off instead, slowly peeking to look at the colonel as he held his hand out to her, which she graciously took with a smile that said she was truly happy to see him.

“Oh, Colonel Greene! It’s so fantastic to see you, you look handsome, of course.” She said flirtatiously, her eyes looking him up and down eagerly before she smiled largely once more… unbelievable.

‘Colonel Greene… thank you, Mrs. Davis!’ I thought as I looked between the two before glancing around to see the many eyes on us, she was doing this so publicly and that definitely wasn’t a good thing. 

I opened my mouth to speak but it was as if Colonel Greene noticed and his cold eyes landed on me, causing my breath to escape as I could only allow my mouth to hang open in complete awe at how gorgeous they really were. My words left me immediately as he rose an eyebrow before holding his hand out, wanting me to shake it… who was this man? I was rather happy my hands were filled with my clusters of food because then I would have no reason to not shake his hand in public, I already didn’t want people thinking anything was important happening around us.

“My name is Colonel Greene, head leader of the militia.” He informed, finally noticing my hands were completely filled.

“E-Elle…” I whispered, already knowing he knew my name, it that still gave me the shivers of terror.

“Elle Michaels, gorgeous name, Madam.” He said, casually bowing before turning back to Mrs. Davis, who batted her eyes innocently while smiling. “I enjoyed playing with your husband, we definitely would have to do that again.

“Of course!” Mrs. Davis said rather fast, leaning close to him as he smiled, it then turned into a smirk. “How about you come to the house now, he should be there very soon.”

“I will take you up on that offer, Mrs. Davis.” I was rather awestruck that this was happening right before me, something was definitely going on between them and I wanted to know but it wasn’t my place… was it?

The two departed as I stood there, looking completely dumbfounded before realizing my mouth was still hanging open and I quickly shut it as I moved to the meat vendor, who had fresh cuts wrapped in lined in plastic already. I decided to make my own cluster and got two sides of ribs three crates of chicken liver for one ticket, I then decided to go ahead and spend another ticket to get a whole, already-plucked chicken and the deal of the day from that specific meat vendor, the side of a cow. The side of the cow included three steak slices, four chucks, three regular loin cuts, and one tenderloin, I had to persuade myself that I didn’t need another deal of the day from the vendor and force myself away from the meat vendor. If I stayed any longer, I knew that I’d definitely be buying more. I moved to the market carriage service that takes people home for a small tip of a quarter, which I paid before taking a seat and casually waiting until it was departure time.

‘Mrs. Davis and Colonel Greene see rather close… maybe I’m not his only victim… would she be a victim? Does Mr. Davis know? Probably not, I doubt he’d stand to know his wife was sleeping with the head leader of the militia, but there’s not much he can do about it other than-’ I was brought out of my thoughts by the carriage suddenly creaking as it came alive, I glanced around to see there were only four other people in the carriage as we started down the dirt trail. I sat my belongings beside me as I pulled out my pouch of coins before slipping a quarter out and setting it in my lap so I could pay the man for giving me a ride home. I spotted Mr. Jerold Riles casually reading a piece of paper with his reading glasses down the crook of his nose, he glanced in my direction before giving me a casual smile and tipping his hat to me.

 I smiled lightly at my father’s old business partner, my father used to work in the oil company and it was before oil started becoming such a heavy profit. Not only that, but Mr. Jerold Riles was also one of the few neighbors I had with a wife and three daughters that would one day grow just as bright of their snobby mother, who has a brain for a rock. I easily fell back into the thought of Mrs. Davis and Colonel Green. ‘If Mr. Davis told anyone, he’d end up in my shoes. Mr. Davis would have to watch his back for the rest of his life, he would probably always be paranoid to step outside, so he probably wouldn’t say a word. That would be food for my case though, if Mr. Davis does speak up about the problems Colonel Greene has been causing.’

I glanced around again, knocking out of my thoughts as I felt the carriage wheels shift a little as we went from dirt to gravel and the rural houses were now passing, I blinked a few times to knock my thoughts away before rising to my feet as my house came into view.

“Here.” I called, letting the driver know to stop, I grabbed my belongings off the carriage and passed the driver his payment.

I walked slowly through my yard, noticing how dead it suddenly look from the flower garden no longer being watered all the time and the bird eater was completely empty, as well as the dried up bird bath. I felt even more sorrow at the effect I had on my own home, my house no longer seemed lively as I paused to stand and stare at it, it was a little over grown from me no longer trimming the bushes and keeping them in tamed shape. I signed as I slowly walked up my porch and sat my belongings on the ground by my large front door and used my large black, metal master key to unlock it. I sat the key in my breast pocket before pushing the door open and moving my belongings inside. I looked at the ransack kitchen that I never had the strength to touch before slowly easing through the threshold with small steps and looking at my scattered pile of grains that would soon be attracting little creatures. I sat my clusters on the kitchen table and ripped them open before storing things away, I then debated what exactly I wanted for dinner as I pursed my lips before deciding a small stew with steak would be just fine. 

I took the time to slice the raw steak before walking to my fireplace in the kitchen, I crouched down and sat it ablaze before grabbing my second cooking rack and setting in on the inside with the first one. I sat a pan down on the lower rack before setting the sliced steak inside the pan to brown very good, I then went to putting my stew together. I mixed various ingredients and even cut up a little of my cucumbers to season and have on the side, I then started cleaning my kitchen slowly. I washed the walls first, scrubbing at them though they were already clean, I washed the counters and the kitchen table down before cleansing the dishes that were in the sink. Next, I cleaned and reorganized my pantry completely before turning the pantry light off and leaving the door ajar. I glanced around the now clean kitchen and felt a sense of relief because it felt like my house again, I moved to the stew and stared it before looking out the window over the sink. 

It was chillier this morning and I already knew it was around the time that days would start getting colder, so making a small abundance of this stew was a good idea to just heat and eat later when my fingers felt too stiff to make dinner. Now catching the cleaning groove, I dusted my living room completely and rearranged a few furnishing while the stew cooled in my bowl so that I could eat it at a lukewarm temperature. Now finished and happy with the way the kitchen and living room looked, I sat down and devoured my bowl of stew, even deciding to have a second bowl but as I sat down, I nibbled on my lip as I stared at the bowl and watched a chunk of steak swirl through it. It oddly matched the way my stomach was sort of swirling so suddenly, as if I had eaten too fast and my stomach hadn’t been able to catch up. I frowned as I quickly rose to my feet and departed toward the bathroom in a mad rush, barely making it before upchucking the stew I just ate, something most definitely isn’t right.

I pulled away and rinsed my mouth before heading upstairs, I lingered outside my bedroom door as I caught my breath while fighting the urge to upchuck once more, I moaned in discomfort at the burning in my throat. I pushed my bedroom door open and slouched inside before realizing I forgot to lock the front door, I then slouched out the room and down the stairs to lock the door before following my footsteps back to my room. I collapsed on my bed and seconds later, sleep overtook me as I didn’t bother to pull any clothing off, let alone get under the sheets.

Chapter Eight

I frowned as I tugged at the neckline of my dress once more while patiently waiting for Mrs. Davis to finish her social gathering with the rest of the women in the town, her house was completely packed with wives and it made me easily uncomfortable. I was curious to who were watching their children or cooking their foods but didn’t push the boundaries of those questions because I didn’t wanna talk to anyone. I was invited yesterday as she popped up and made tiny conversation before departing, luckily for me because all I did was sleep for the rest of the day, which was very odd. I grabbed yet another butterball to shove in my mouth and munch on as I continued to wait, Mrs. Davis gave me a sly glance before going back to socializing with Mrs. Willis. I caught her sneaky glance before looking around the entire living area that was packed with so many women, too many women. I then reached for another butterball but only found the bottom of the ball before realizing that I had ate all of them, I frowned and glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. Surely they did, the fact that I was hogging the bowl right before me said it all, I had definitely caught the eye of everyone around me. I bit my lip as Mrs. Davis trailed over to me with a questioning smile on her face, she grabbed my hand and held it from my body while eyeing me up and down closely before simply stepping back and telling me to twirl with her finger.

“What is the point of this, Mrs. Davis?” I questioned, looking at her suspiciously.

“Simply to see that gorgeous dress you managed to fit.” She retorted, then motioning for me to spin with her finger once more.

I rolled my eyes, which was very unladylike but I didn’t care before spinning in an entire circle than facing her again with a raised eyebrow that asked her if she was pleased enough to leave me alone now. 

“Gorgeous.” I heard, causing me to look to who had commented on me.

My eyes fell onto Colonel Greene’s handsome face as he carried a scotch glass in his hand, he paused and down the rest of the brandy before he sat his glass on the counter and moved even closer to me. I uneasily glanced at Mrs. Davis as she smiled so happily at him, I was curious about what really was going on between them. We weren’t suppose to be in the same premises but for him to be standing before me was more than enough to let me know he wasn’t too fond of rules around here. I took a step back to create a little distance before looking at Mrs. Davis once more, who casually cocked her head at me with a slight frown, obviously wondering what was going on between Colonel Greene and I. I stayed silent, not daring to tell her anything about these recent times he took advantage of me and while I’ve been rather lucky, he hasn’t popped up since the first inspection, but that could change so often. Colonel Greene stared me up and down lustfully, making me even more uneasy as he licked his bottom lip before turning to look at Mr. Davis, who held up a bottle of brandy in his hand in questioning. Colonel Greene offered his glass and watching him sip his brandy told me that this little meet-up was going to be a little uncomfortable, at least for me, it was. 

“Attention, everyone.” I looked over to see our host, Mrs. Davis, holding a glass of champagne in her hand while innocently smiling at everyone, I saw right through it. “While this is a social gathering, and I thank everyone for coming, there’s a special thank you I want to give someone.” 

I glanced around to catch people looking at one another questionably, I wasn’t too sure what special thank you Mrs. Davis wanna give to anyone, so I was just as clueless as them. Perhaps it was her husband, since he puts up with her savviness anyway, more than anyone else and we know that takes balls. I crossed my arms lowly under my breast in an approachable manner because it was more ladylike than just simply crossing my arms with the scorn, and that’s what I wanted to do most. I turned my attention back to her before feeling a presence lingering a little too close, I glanced behind me and immediately became uncomfortable at the sight of Colonel Greene with a sneaky smile on his face. I took a large gulp to calm my raging nerves at his closeness.

“Don’t eat the cake.” He whispered suddenly, causing me to lightly flinch at his sudden gasp of heat against my ear, causing me to shiver.

“Colonel Greene has been nothing but help to my husband and I, and we want to thank you.” Mrs. Davis continued, gesturing to the island and everyone turned to watch as a sparkling cake was carried by Mr. Davis to the island and sat down. “Happy Birthday, Mr. Greene.”

Clapping filled the air and I took in rhythm as he chuckled loudly before moving to the kitchen island and looking at the large two tier cake that definitely a fortune, but it was something that the Davis’ could afford, I was positive of it. I stayed put, watching from a distance as he observed the cake with a fake smile on his face, he glanced up suddenly at me and I quickly averted my eyes while catching the smirk that then fell onto his face. I then glanced around to see if anyone caught it but I seemed in the clear as Colonel Greene blew his sparkling candles out and clapping again filled the air, I clapped along as I lingered along the back of the group. He cut into the cake first, handing out a few pieces but I noticed he was carefully handing the slices out, what was going on exactly? Being close to the back of the group of hungry onlookers meant I was most likely not going to get a piece, which was okay with me because for some reason Colonel Greene told me not to eat the cake. I felt suddenly a wave of nausea and silently excused myself as the wave hit harder and I felt the chunkiness making its way up my esophagus. I scurried to the bathroom and gagged into the bowl of the toilet as the sound of shoes clicking followed, Mrs. Davis paused with a half-eaten slice of cake on a plate and stared at me with confusion as I glanced at her before sheepishly hiding my face. 

“Are you okay?” She asked carelessly, taking another bite of the cake with a small moan. 

I stared at the substance in the toilet in confusion before flushing as Colonel Greene’s strong presence joined hers and she stepped away, giving us privacy with a queasy smile sliding on her face. I watched as she stumbled down the hallway before pausing to clutch her stomach and groaning very manly, I frowned in confusion as I rose to my feet as I heard complaining moans from the living room. Colonel Greene simply grabbed my bicep and started leading me toward the front door, I looked around in shock at the vomit and feces reining in multiple areas as the house was an entire mess, and the smell was awful. I stared in complete awe and disgust of the entire situation, it had to be the cake and that’s why Colonel Greene didn’t want me to eat me… what did he do to the cake ? I looked at him in shock as he held the door and pushed me gently out of it, oh, so now he wants to be gentle ? I looked at him in uncertainty as he grabbed my bicep and hurriedly marched me across the street to my home.

“Hold on.” I snapped, yanking my arm away from him and looking at him with a uneasy look once more. “What did you do?”

“You didn’t even eat any of it.” I frowned in confusion before it dawned on me exactly what he was saying.

“What did you do to it?” I asked once more.

He simply ignored my question and continued to walk to my front door, he leaned against the threshold and picked at his fingernails while waiting for me to open the door. I realized that then there wasn’t much of a choice but to let him in the house cause he was either gonna push his way inside and I definitely wasn’t going back across the street, the smell seemed to stick to my throat. I walked close to the front door and unlocked the door and entered, I backed away while looking at him unsurely as he slammed the door shut and locked it with the many bolts I had added for extra security. 

“What did you do to the cake?” I asked, looking at him in confusion while debating if I should trust him.

He only ignored me once more, my throat burned from previously regurgitating all the butterballs that I had gulfed down so effortlessly, I leaned against my console across from my front door with a heavy sign. I watched as Colonel Greene took his uniform jacket off and I couldn’t help but casually take chances at looking at the large muscles bulging from his undershirt, which was solid white and like a layer of skin on him. I stayed in my position as he passed me while rolling up his long sleeves to help with the chill in the air, I watched his every move as he walked to my fridge and pulled it open. 

I cocked my head while watching him pull out a small circle cake that was barely big enough for more than three people, I rose an eyebrow at him as he grabbed two glasses and filled them up with water. I looked as he moved the cake to the bay window and sat it down in the middle of the three cushions, I continued to watch him as he then walked back and grabbed the two glasses of water and moved them over to the bay window as well. He sat down on one side while gesturing to the opposite side of him and I noticed he forgot two important things, so I moved to the kitchen and grabbed two forks before joining him at my bay window. I looked at him before passing him the fork, his fingers brushed mine as he accepted the fork and I felt electricity as my senses seemed to become acute and I could smell the manliness on him, and it made me starve for him. 

I fought the urge to pounce on him, and that confused the hell out of me, he was my rapist and I found this man so fuckable at the moment, that was out of the very ordinary. He dug into the cake while positioning himself so he was sitting with his arms resting on his knees, his shoes flat against the cushions and I sat with my legs curled under me, watching him as he took the first bite and swallowed it. I then took the chance to dig into the cake and eat a piece as well, I moaned at the flavor of vanilla cake with white icing that was so delicious, the creamy icing was one thing I forgot tasted so fantastic. I took another bite and another, and another before realizing I was eating his birthday cake like it was my own, I forced myself to slow down and finally looked up at Colonel Greene as he wore a tiny smirk on his face at the sight of me devouring his cake piece by little piece. 

He took another bite and rested his arms on his knees once more, chewing slowly as I dug into the cake as well and put the fork in my mouth, pausing to suck at the excess frosting lingering along my fork. His hooded eyes dropped to my lips before rising again to my eyes, I knew that expression that any man would give any person and knew I had to now watch myself, I didn’t want him pouncing on me… shit, would I even mind considering I’m a little squirmy with desire. 

“Horse laxative.” Colonel Greene said suddenly, making me look at him in confusion before it dawned on me, he put horse laxatives into the cake.

“Wh…” I paused in confusion, not sure why he did that to anyone at the social gathering.

“Mrs. Beverly Davis wrote to President Williams that I had tried to attack her husband, and she wrote up a petition to have my ranking vacated.” He reasoned, making my throat go dry.

The reason my throat went dry was because I had wrote President Williams as well but I hadn’t filled out any petition, I didn’t even know about a petition… I might would of signed it and been suffering with them. 

“She smiled in my face everyday, fucking bitch, and then got the nerve to try to have my position resigned from right under my feet without batting an eye. I should of said she was a witch, but I felt that was better.” He simply shrugged, and I slowly nodded my head. 

“So you wanted to get her back.” I said, accepting that answer… just like he had gotten me back.

“Not her, all of them.” He chuckled. “I saw the petition, I told her to invite everyone on there. I saw your name wasn’t on there, but then you showed up, that’s why I told you don’t eat the cake.” 

“Thank you.” I whispered, truly thankful because I wasn’t spouting feces and vomit at the same time right now, I’m very thankful to be exact.

Chapter Nine

A small silence fell over us, and I gently used my fork to scoot a crumb of vanilla cake around on the plate with the half-eaten circle cake that we had shared. It was obvious, Mr. Colonel Green wasn’t much of a sweets type of man, he didn’t like sweet foods very much but I was always willing to have ice cream or a slice of cake, or both. However, something was truly eating me alive, why was he being so nice to me? All of a sudden, out of the blue, why was he being nice and he even let me eat some of his birthday cake, and it wasn’t poisoned with a horse laxative. Was it a sudden change of mind? A sudden change of heart perhaps? Well, I wouldn’t know until…

“Mr. Colon-” I started respectfully.

“Asa.” He said suddenly, making me look up at him. “Asa Greene.”

“Asa.” I copied softly, glancing up at him as his eyes moved down to my lips before coming back up as I bit my lip but forced myself to keep the conversation going. “Why are you being nice to me?” I asked.

“Honest answer?” He replied with his own question, to which I quickly answered to with a swift nod. “I don’t know.”

I lowered my head a little before slowly nodding, of course he wasn’t too sure right now, but hopefully he would know soon because I want answers.

“President Williams started a war with Tachawachi .” I cocked my head a little. “President Tachawachi , over Rosewood.” 

“Mali vs Rosewood.” I whispered, nibbling on my bottom lip lightly.

“I’ll be going away,” Asa whispered, “I guess I want to leave on the right terms with the one I’ve wronged. You.” 

I lowered my gaze lightly while trying to understand exactly what he meant, the only way to right something was to fix what you wronged, so how was he going to fix that he took my anal virginity from me forcefully.

“For our son.” He said, making me look up at him with alert. “He came to me last night, said you’re not happy anymore.” Perhaps he bumped his head…

“Asa…” I was completely awestruck, had he forgotten…

I was a man?!

“I don’t know if you forgot, but I’m a man.”

“A man, with ovaries.” He said, making me cock my head at him in alert that he knew that. “Everyone in the city has a file, Ms. Elle Regine Michaels . The information about your ovaries was hidden from you until you became of legal age because of your mother and father’s refuse to sigh a corresponding waver.”

“Since you’re reading up on me…” I paused, grabbing my glass of water. “You’d know my fresh, since birth ovaries are completely empty, not even one egg.”

“There’s always a chance.” He chuckled lightly, watching as I took a sip of my water. “Always.”

I nodded slowly while rising to my feet clean up our small mess, Asa was surprisingly helpful as he stored the cake away and I put the drinking glasses and dirtied forks in the sink to wash whenever I had the time tomorrow. I turned to look at him as I knew that it was time for me to soon retreat to bed, and I was curious to know what Asa Greene’s plans were, and I found him slightly interesting after the little conversation we had. He moved slightly closer to me as my eyes sheepishly glanced at his lips, which he licked right on que and heat rushed through me, as I took a step forward as well. Our lips connected and a moan immediately left my lips as he wrapped his arms around my waist and I couldn’t believe myself, I was doing this right now, I was kissing the man I should hate for the rest of my life. I ran my hands over all his muscles as he took the time to grope my globes and lead me toward my bedroom, just as we hit the first stair, a important question came to my head.

“How did you get in?” I asked quietly.

He chuckled along my lips while gently nibbling on the bottom one. “Picked the lock.” He then lifted me into his arms and carried me up the stairs. 

I allowed him to openly attack my neck, loving the sensation as he nibbled on my weak spots as he walked, he had very good coordination, that’s for sure. We made it to my bedroom and he threw me on the bed, following me immediately as I spread my legs and allowed him to nestle there as his lips found mine again. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this, there was no way this was okay with the old me, if the old me was still alive. I ran my hands over his tense shoulders, feeling the cords of muscle that attached from one to another, and I enjoyed the sensation of his muscles contracting in my grip. His lips were fantastic, kissing my neck lovingly and praising the tender spots he found along his little journey, causing a gasp to escape from between my lips.

I gently lifted the lid to the kettle and was blasted in the face with the heated water, I pulled my face away slightly and smiled lightly at the smell of the freshly brewed tea that hit my nostrils next. The smell of tea seemed to calm my nerves but I had noticed something very drastic, as much as I love the smell of tea, I just couldn’t stomach the flavor in my mouth, and I always vomited after trying to intake it. I glanced around before grabbing my notice letter about my doctor visit that I knew I would have to show the receptionist in order to see the doctor, I took the kettle off the flame and sat it on a large towel coaster before sliding my shoes on. I rounded the rest of my belongings up before leaving the kettle pot on the counter for Asa, who had spent the night last night for “protection” but I think it’s more cause he didn’t wanna leave anyway. He had sprawled out on the couch after he made the reason that he needed to be near the front door, though I had a back up bedroom downstairs that he could of used.. I received the notice yesterday, thankful because it was my yearly check up verses me having to make an appointment and squeeze into a tiny frame of time to see the doctor. 

I left the house quietly and locked the door up behind me before storing my key in my breast pocket, I wore a small designer sailor dress that was black and white with a pair of small white shoes that I felt looked just fine with my shoes. It felt amazing this afternoon, I enjoyed the feeling of the sun plastering to my skin as it was mostly quiet other than birds and wagon creaking, the Davis’ house across the street was dead still and I was thankful for that. I paused while waiting as the large wagon croaked to a stop as I took out the coin in my coin wallet and waited as the wagon driver rode us into town, he came to the stopping point and I passed him my coin with everyone else. I then walked straight to the doctors office, which sat right beside the jail, and entered, I moved straight to the desk and sat my notice down for her to read. She grabbed it and directed me straight to my assigned doctor and I smiled lightly and gave her a soft thank you as she exited the room and I took a seat in the small examine chair that was steel cold and easily had me uncomfortable, my back was cramping terribly in this chair. 

“Good morning, Ms. Michaels.” Dr. Fredrick Ryan said, entering and showing his hand to me so I could shake it, which I did.

“Morning, Dr. Ryan, how are you?” I asked, in a rather good mood.

“I’m good, thank you for asking. I just wanna get a check up and send you on your way.” He said, making me nod slowly. “Any problems?”

“Not really, just cravings that aren’t normal.” I shrugged. “Think it’s just around that year, ya know. I’m getting old.” I told him.

“Aren’t we all.” He replied, taking a seat alongside the examine chair and started to suddenly probe my stomach with his hands, pausing in certain areas with a face of awe. “You feel that?”

“No.” I said, looking down at his hands that I felt little pressure from, though he was pushing very hard. 

“Have you had sex, Ms. Michaels?” He asked, making me look at him with a rose eyebrow. “We’re both adults… have you?”

“U-Uh, yes, I…” I croaked, daring to tell him it wasn’t willingly at first but I bit my tongue for some reason unexplained.

“How long ago?” He asked, removing his hands from my stomach and entwining them together in his lap. 

“I… I don’t remember.” I whispered, averting my eyes with embarrassment because I didn’t want him to know last night was the last time. 

“Very well… you’re pregnant, Ms. Michaels.” He said, making me look at him with a rose eyebrow at the joke he gave.

“Very funny, Dr. Ryan, but I think you forgot. I’m a man, and my ovaries are empty.” I reminded him of his own diagnosis years ago.

“They’re not empty, they were immature.” He corrected me, making me pinch my lips shut immediately.

“Empty.” I whispered back, rolling my eyes lightly.

“Immature.” He replied, obviously hearing my back talk. “They’ve must of matured, and just in time, I assume. I’m just making a possible diagnosis, Ms. Michaels, it could by stones.” The second diagnosis made me squirm immediately.

“How will we know for sure?”

“Time.” He replied, rising to his feet. “Be careful, Ms. Michaels, I truly believe you are and we don’t want you harming yourself accidently.” 

I nodded slowly, understanding what he meant about being careful while rising to my feet slowly as he scribbled something on my paper that looked like a chart of different things, he then ripped the paper and handed it to me. I looked at the words scribbled down before nodding slowly, he had given me a night routine to help with the aversions, as he called them on the slip of paper. 

“Thank you, Dr. Ryan.” I whispered, walking toward the door. 

“You’re welcome, Ms. Michaels.” He replied. 

I exited the room and started toward the door.

“Oh, Ms. Michaels.” Dr. Ryan called, making me look at him in hope. “I’m never wrong.” 

Yeah… that really made me feel better, was it possible? Was I really having my rapist’s baby? I stepped into the sun and felt a wave of sudden heat that made me nauseated and I leaned against the doctor’s office for a minute to regain myself. I then corrected myself and dusted invisible dirt off of my dress before making my way toward the market, which was truly only about three steps away. I grabbed a few herbs and something for dinner tonight before deciding to walk the length back to my house, contemplating my next move… what was my next move? Was I truly pregnant? Was I really having my rapist’s baby? Was it really inside me right now? In a bemused state of mind, my hand fell onto my lower belly and settled until I realized what I was doing and quickly yanked my hand away like my stomach was on fire. I didn’t want to believe it, there was no way I could have children, Mother had told me my ovaries were completely empty and too damaged to give her grandchildren, and she said she didn’t care that I couldn’t have them, she was actually…. happy… that I couldn’t have children. I paused as it dawned on me that my mother had lied to me, right to my face and she didn’t bat an eye, she was just like Mrs. Davis, and that’s why I can’t stand Mrs. Davis… now I realized why. I was having High Ranking-Colonel Asa Greene’s child, and I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to tell him, because I knew he’d find out eventually. 

I entered the house while wiping the sweat running down my face and looking around for Asa, I glanced to couch to see him gone before deciding to listen for the shower or something, but it was dead quiet… meaning one thing. I moved to the couch and took a seat while staring at the little piece of paper he left on the table, I reached and grabbed it before sitting back into the couch and my hand falling over my stomach without me paying attention.

        Dear Elle…

  I'm off to war, I wish you the best and perhaps, I'll make it out of this one without my head leaving my shoulders. 

            ~Asa

I nibbled on my lip and stared forward in complete sadness that I didn’t get to tell Asa about what Dr. Ryan had told me today, we were having a child together.

                                                                           TO BE CONTINUED

I’ll see you at Book Two: The Missing Patriot! (Check the external link!)