The Red Flag Enjoyer Preface

This is just a stand alone novel. This might serve as my comfort story after completing Sekyu.

I will just warn everyone here if you are not an open minded person and not common with boy to boy love story, queer setting, kabaklaan, lalaki sa lalaki na landian, kindly just leave in peace. Every writer on this platform pours their heart into their novels, and it would be discouraging if you insult a story based on its theme. This is an LGBTQ+ themed novel. If you support gay people, stay and enjoy :) Your vote and comment matters <3

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This is work of fiction. Names, characters, business, places, events and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to the actual person, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved ® 2024

Date started: August 09, 2024 Date finished: January 10, 2025

Character Descriptions

• Win Del Cino • 29 years old

Descriptions of him:

1. Soft gay man
2. Cute and adorable
3. 5’5 ft tall, physically fit, and has fair skin
4. Manhid, bulag, walang kaalam-alam
5. Faithful, understanding, and forgiving

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• Warren (Wren) Prado 29 years old

Descriptions of him:

1. Masculine gay, discreet
2. 5’9 ft tall, Masculine body, moreno
3. Pointed nose, thin lips, almond shape of eyes, and long mesmerizing eye lashes
4. Mapagparaya, mapagmahal, expressive pero sobrang torpe
5. Love language: Act of service

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• Rendy (Ren) Hiseo • 29 years old

Descriptions of him:

1. Curious straight
2. 5’9 ft tall, a body to die for, and has fair skin
3. Thick eye brows, pointed nose, kissable lips, siren’s eyes, and strong jawline
4. Rising star, public figure, lead male material
5. Insensitive, womanizer, playboy, red flag, red flag, red flag, and red flag

🚩Prologue

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Rendy, with his storm of flaws, was the tempest I clung to. He was once my anchor, my calm before the storm, and in his arms, I found a shelter, fleeting but real. But the winds of change were unforgiving, and the man I once knew was lost to the chaos. I fought to keep him, to salvage the pieces of our love, only to find myself adrift—alone.

Then there was Warren—steady, ever-present, my lighthouse in the dark. He held me when the waves threatened to swallow me whole, whispered hope when my world was nothing but silence. I thought he was my salvation, my sanctuary. But even the brightest stars can burn you when you get too close.

Warren was a haven for my heart, until I realized that beneath his comforting light, he too harbored shadows.

My heart has been shattered, not once but twice, and now I see—perhaps I’ve been chasing after fleeting suns, only to be scorched by their heat.

I never imagined I could carry this much pain, as if one heartbreak wasn’t enough, and now the second has carved even deeper wounds.

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I

f this story touches your heart, please leave a vote.

Thankies~

🌊

🚩1: Raindrops on windowpane

WIN

I kept glancing at my computer screen to keep myself updated on the time. Five minutes before the clock struck 5 PM. Finally, after a long and tiring day, it’s time to go home! I still don’t know why I chose to major in Accounting during college. Makakita pa lang ng mga numero ay nahihilo na ako tapos ito pa ang pinili kong maging propesiyon. If it weren’t for Wren, who helped me with everything before, I might have already changed my program. Hulog talaga ng langit ang best friend ko na iyon. Sayang lang dahil hindi kami parehas ng trabahong napasukan. We both started as Administrative Assistants at two different companies, but Wren received a promotion and is now an Area Manager. His company is well-known here in Riverside Valley, and I know he deserves all the success and recognition there. Sa sobrang abilidad at talino ba naman kasi ni Wren, ewan ko na lang talaga kung hindi pa siya mapansin at mabigyan ng tyansa na talaga namang nakalaan para sa kaniya.

“Win, pauwi ka na rin ba? Sabay ka na sa akin,” asked Calvin, one of my officemates who also resides in Skyline Condominiums.

Ngumiti ako ng tipid. “Nagpasundo na ako kay Rendy, e. Sa susunod na lang ako sasabay sa ’yo. May lakad din kasi kami today. Ingat sa pagmamaneho, Calvin,” sambit ko. Hindi ko magawang alisin ang ngiti sa labi ko simula pa kanina. Kaya kanina pa ako atat na atat mag-uwian ay dahil sa set date namin ni Ren. It has been a while since we last had a romantic dinner date. Sobrang na-miss ko lang talaga ang mga ganoong klase ng bagay sa pagitan naming dalawa. Napakadalang na lang din kasi niyang mag-aya dahil sa busy niyang schedule.

I heard Calvin’s familiar hiss, which I always notice from him. Actually, hindi lang naman siya ang nagiging ganito ang reaksiyon sa tuwing nababanggit ko ang pangalan ng boyfriend ko.

“Rendy the walking red flag and you as the red flag enjoyer! Nako! When will you wake up, Win?” Komento niya habang iiling-iling. “O’siya, enjoy sa date niyo. Ingat sa pag-uwi mamaya. Bye, Win!” Umalis na rin siya pagkaraan. Sanay na rin ako sa mga violent reaction nila sa tuwing nababanggit ko si Rendy. Wala naman akong nake-kwentuhan sa kanila tungkol sa relasiyon naming dalawa. He’s a rising star and a good-looking celebrity, so it’s no surprise if anyone notices him, including my officemates. Dating a celebrity has its challenges. Sadiyang mahal ko lang si Ren kaya nakakaya ko pa ring yakapin lahat ng flaws at imperpections niya maging ang relasiyon naming dalawa.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang tuloy bigla ako habang naiisip ang mga ’to

Some of my officemates greeted me everytime they went past my corner. Nagmadali na lang din ako na maiayos ang gamit ko at saka mabilis na nag-time out sa biometrics. Naitext ko na si Ren kanina. He rarely checks his phone, so I’m just planning to call him after work.

Mabuti na lang at nakaabot ako sa elevator bago ito magsara. Our office is located on the 8th floor of this 10-story building. It would take time if I missed the elevator. I’ve noticed that some of my officemates are here inside. Hindi ko tuloy magawang makipag-usap sa kanila dahil abala ako sa pag-chat kay Ren sa kaniyang Messenger. He’s not responding to my phone calls and text messages, so I will try to reach him through his dummy account.

When the elevator door swung open, I hurriedly made my way out. Nasa lobby pa lang ako ng building ay natanaw ko na agad ang malakas na buhos ng ulan sa labas. Malas! I didn’t bring my umbrella with me.

As I walked through the lobby, I dialed his number and held my phone close to my ear, hoping he would answer.

May kotse naman si Ren kaya bakit ako nag-iinarte na akala mo ay cancel na ang date naming dalawa? Isn’t it romantic to eat in a restaurant while raindrops keep appearing on the windowpane? Ang cute kaya no’n!

Instead of staying in the lobby area, specifically on the couches, I walked towards the entrance, which is located before the entrance canopy. May ilan na naghihintay ng sundo nila kagaya ko, ang pinagkaiba lang ay nandito na ang mga sundo nila samantalang ako ay wala pa rin.

“Hello, you have reached Rendy Hiseo. I’m sorry I’m not able to take your call right now. Please leave a message after the beep, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.”

Isang malalim na buntong hininga ang pinakawalan ko matapos marinig ’yon. Maybe he’s on his way now? Baka nagmamaneho? I will just leave a short text message for him.

Mayamaya lang ay nandito na rin siguro si Ren. Hindi na ako mauupo sa coach ng lobby area. Hintayin ko na lang siya rito.

Some of my officemates kept greeting me as they passed through the entrance. Nakangiti lang ako sa kanila para bumati pabalik.

Dahil hindi ko matawagan si Ren sa sim card niya ay sa Messenger ko na lang siya ulit sinubukang tawagan. Dummy account ang gamit nito dahil wala naman siyang official FB account. Si Sir Lex na manager niya ang may hawak ng official page na meron siya bilang isang public figure. His fans will flood his inbox if ever. Hindi ko man maiwasang magselos noong una hanggang sa masanay na lang ako. My boyfriend is a rising star in line with BL series. He had multiple commercial projects before. Alam kong ito talaga ang passion niya noon pa lang. Ngayong unti-unti niyang naabot ang kanyang pangarap, I will always be here at the corner, cheering him on for all his victories in life.

Bago dalhin ang sarili sa bandang gilid ng entrance ay sumilip muna ako sa labas. Patuloy pa rin ang pagbuhos ng ulan. Everyone is busy, including the street. Rush hour na rin kasi at uwian na. Ilang saglit na rin naman at parating na si Ren. I can’t wait to see him! Sana ay papunta na talaga siya.

I stood beside the large ornamental plant to hide from the wave of people wanting to go home. TGIF! I have lots of plans for tomorrow. Nakakabagot din ang laging nasa condo unit. Sana ay pumayag si Ren bukas. Sayang ang ticket ng Enchanted Island kung hindi kami makakapunta. Pahirapan pa naman ang makakuha ng ticket dahil sa rami ng reservations. Good thing I was quick enough to get two tickets for us. I will tell him my plans during the dinner date. Kating-kati na talaga ako ibalita sa kaniya ito!

Minutes turned into half an hour until the clock struck 6 PM. Isang oras na ang nakakalipas simula noong naghihintay ako kay Rendy. Baka naman na-traffic lang siya? Win, stop gaslighting yourself! Why do you keep denying that he’s really not coming here for you?

I tried calling him through his Messenger again, but he wasn’t answering. Sinubukan ko sa phone call pero hindi pa rin sinasagot. Naubusan na rin ako ng mga dahilan kung bakit wala pa rin si Ren ngayon. Niloloko ko nalang ang sarili ko

na darating pa siya.

Bagsak ang aking mga balikat ay lumapit ako sa entrance nitong company building namin. Nabawasan na rin ang mga tao rito at bilang na lang sa daliri ang mga nakikita ko. Hindi ko maiwasang malungkot dahil hindi naman ako nagkulang na paalalahanan si Ren tungkol sa lakad namin. We even talked about this last night. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasan ang malungkot. Parang pinaghahampas na baso ang puso ko, durog na durog. My excitement suddenly disappeared, and I started to feel a tightness in my throat. It felt like I was at the bottom of his list of priorities.

I just want to go home. Magta-taxi na lang siguro ako. No choice. Na-scam, e.

I was about to step outside the entrance. This building has an entryway where cars can pull over to pick up or drop off their passengers. Lumabas na ako ng lobby upang baybayin ang mahabang pathway ng entrance canopy. Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng paglalakad nang may huminto na isang pamilyar na sasakyan ilang dipa ang layo sa akin. The driver went out of it, revealing my best friend Wren who is effortlessly a head turner for everyone. His tone and broad upper body muscles made his mint green long-sleeve sweatshirt look even better. As a moreno guy with a mesmerizing face, he really stands out. No wonder so many girls have a crush on him.

Mabilis siyang naglakad patungo sa akin. Suddenly, the pillar of joy in my system was somewhat rebuilt by Warren. Napangiti ako nang makalapit siya sa akin.

“Hindi ka na naman niya sinundo?” he said in a serious manner. Isa rin kasi siya sa taong ayaw kay Rendy. I can’t blame him. Ilang beses na rin naman kasi akong nakita ni Warren na umiiyak dahil kay Ren.

Sinubukan kong ngumiti nang maayos ngunit naging pilit ito. I shook my head and answered him, “Baka nakatulog lang sa condo unit, o baka busy lang siya sa ginagawa niya kaya nakalimutan niyang may lakad kami ngayon.”

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga niya. “Hindi ka ba niya tinawagan? I was in the lounge working on my art pad sketches and waiting for you when I saw him walking out of the Skyline Condominiums. Ang akala ko nga ay susunduin ka dahil nabanggit mo na may lakad kayo? Nakabihis din siya ng maayos at sa pagkakatanda ko ay before 5 PM siya lumabas.”

I was lost of words. Parang natameme ako sa mga sinabi niya. Kung mag-aala sinco pa siya umalis ng Skyline Condominiums ay nandito na dapat siya bago ako mag-time out. Where could he be? Bumili ng gift present para sa akin? Bouquet of flowers? Hindi niya naman kailangang mag-abala. I just want to. . . see him here.

“If only I had known he wasn’t coming here, kanina pa sana kita sinundo. Kahit kailan talaga ang boyfriend mo, Win!” ramdam ko ang pagkainis sa boses niya kahit napakakalmado lang nito magsalita. Wren will always be the most prim and proper man I’ve ever met.

“I know you’re hungry. My treat,” he uttered.

“Can I ask for ten more minutes? Baka may dinaanan lang si Ren, Warren. Please?” I tried my best to sound cute. Kita ko sa mukha niya ang pagkadismaya pero sumang-ayon pa rin siya sa huling hirit ko.

“Hindi na siya natuto. It’s not an excuse if he’s celebrity or what! Priorities will always be priorities and you should always be part of it!” kalmado niyang lintanya sa akin. He has a point. Alam niya rin kasi ang mga pinagdadaanan ko kay Ren. Warren was like a sibling to me. Lalo na’t basa probinsiya ang mga magulang ko. This guy is truly a heaven-sent. Kung wala si Wren, baka matagal na akong sumuko rito sa Riverside Valley. Nasa plano namin ang bumili ng condominium unit na magkatabi. Hindi ko pa nakikilala ulit si Rendy ay plano na namin ’yon ni Warren. It was our promised gift to ourselves when we turned 25, and luckily, he was promoted to Area Manager at that time, making it a double celebration for us. Now that we’re both 29, looking back makes me realize how many memories we’ve shared together. Wala pa sa buhay ko si Rendy ay nandito na si Warren bilang best friend ko. The best guy ever.

Hindi ko na sinabayan pa ang mga rants ni Wren sa mga kalokohan ni Rendy. There were times my mind got a glimpse of where and what could Ren possibly be doing. Siguro ay may kinalaman na naman ang nabanggit niya sa aking continuation ng BL series project nila noong nakaraang araw. Hindi naman ako kill joy para sirain ang moment niya kaya kahit love team ang mangyayari sa BL series na ’yon ay hinayaan ko na lang. Wala naman magagawa ang selos ko. Hindi niya rin naman paglalaanan ng pansin kung nagkataon kaya sarilihin ko na lang. Ang mahalaga ay alam kong ako pa rin ang mahal niya. Seeing him kissing someone on public television isn’t new to me. It’s a kind of pain I’ve learned to tolerate, until I get used to it. Artista ang jinowa ko, e, kaya walang rason para magreklamo.

Sumobra na sa labing-limang minuto ang paghihintay namin kaya ako na ang humarap kay Wren para ayain siya. Tuluyan nang gumuho ang pag-asa kong darating pa si Rendy. Sana man lang ay sinabihan niya ako na may pupuntahan pala siya para hindi ako nagmukhang tanga na naghihintay dito sa kaniya, umaasa na naaalala niyang may lakad din kaming dalawa ngayon.

Sana naman ay hindi mapunta sa wala ang nabili kong ticket para sa Enchanted island bukas. Kung nagkataon na hindi pwede ay mado-double dead talaga ang puso ko.

“Where do you want to eat? Ano bang feel mo kainin? Japanese food? Italian dish? Vietnamese? Tell me,” sabi sa akin ni Wren nang makapasok siya sa driver’s seat. Nandito na kami ngayon sa loob ng kotse niya. As usual, I occupied the shotgun seat. Hindi naman siya personal driver ko para maupo ako sa likuran, ’di ba?

“Bring me to where you love to eat the most,” sagot ko na lang at saka ibinaling ang atensiyon sa labas. The heavy rain kept slamming against the car’s windows. I closed my eyes as Wren started to drive. The sound of the rain provided comfort and solitude, making me feel at ease for a while.

Naisantabi niya na naman ako. Lagi na lang.

I let out a heavy sigh. Iminulat ko ang mga mata at saka kinuha ang phone sa aking dalang bag. I was about to send a message to Rendy about the sudden dinner with Wren when I saw some heartbreaking news on my notification banner.

Male lead character of the Boy Next Door BL series was spotted on the Starbucks, near the Galideo Street, Riverside Valley early this…

Nilakasan ko ang loob na pindutin ang news notification para mabasa ang buong article. My jaw dropped when I saw a stolen photo of Rendy with the well-known BL celebrity Francis Anderson. They were facing each other in a side profile shot, so their happy faces were clearly visible. Tangina! Why do they look good together? Ang hirap talaga magmahal ng isang artista. Bawal magselos dahil sa akin pa rin naman siya umuuwi. Basically, he’s still mine. Panalo pa rin naman ako, ’di ba?

“Win, you’re not listening to me. I was asking if you tried the Beef steak in. . .”

Agad kong pinahid ang luhang umalpas sa aking mga mata. I don’t want to bother Wren anymore. Nagjowa-jowa ako ng artista tapos ngayon iiyak-iyak ako. Clown.

*

First red flag 🚩 for Rendy: Observe and jot down all his red-flag antics until the end of the story, and let’s see if you’re right about them.

Feel bad for my cute litol baby Winnie 🥹

~ Kuya Sen

🚩2: Sidewalk along an empty road

WIN

The sound of raindrops on the car window resonated in my ears and somehow calmed my soul. It served as a soothing presence that wiped away my tears. Reminiscing about all my sacrifices for Rendy made me question whether I am not enough. Am I falling short, to the point where he can’t even remember me, or send a simple text message? Kahit na ganoon ay hindi ko pa rin naiisip na sukuan siya, kahit katiting na ideya ay hindi sumagi sa isipan ko kasi . . . mahal na mahal ko siya.

“We’re here,” sambit ni Wren sa tabi ko nang maiparada niya ang kotse sa parking space ng napili naming puntahan.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya. Hindi ako natutuwa sa inaasal ko dahil maging si Wren ay naapektuhan sa dinadala kong lungkot ngayon, at hindi talaga ayos sa akin ’yon.

I was holding the car’s lock to open the door when he stopped me, causing me to turn and face him again.

“You really sure you’re okay?” he asked once more. He was simply asking if I was okay, but his gentle tone made my tears well up at the edges of my eyelids. His sweet, soft, and calm voice made me feel secure and loved. Bago pa maiyak ay tumango ako sa kaniya at ngumiti ngunit sa pagiging trying hard ko ma itago ang nararamdaman ay naging pilit ang kinalabasan ng pagngiti ko.

Actually, I really didn’t want to bother Wren with the sudden news I saw online about Rendy and Francis’s stolen photo of their dinner date. Ako kasi dapat ’yon at hindi si Francis! Inagaw niya lang kasi sa akin ang phone ko kanina. I didn’t say a word, knowing that I didn’t need to explain further. He knew everything about my relationship with Rendy. Para saan pa’t best friend ko siya kung tataguan ko siya ng mga pinagdadaanan ko kay Ren. It’s just that I couldn’t bear to see him stressed out because of my countless struggles and conflicts with Ren; after all, he’s not involved in that situation.

“Stay right here. Ayaw ko naman na maulanan ka. I didn’t expect that I would use the umbrella I kept in my car one of these days.” Kita ko ang matingkad na ngiti sa mukha niya habang inaabot ang payong na nakatago sa ilalim ng kaniyang upuan.

After he got it, he hurriedly got out of the car, using the wide-open umbrella to protect himself from the rain. Nagtungo siya sa kinaroroonan ko saka ako pinagbuksan ng pinto. Napangiti ako nang bumungad siya sa akin habang hawak ang payong na nagsisilbing silong sa aming dalawa.

The darkness consumed the entire area. I lost track of time, but I think it’s already past 7 PM. I noticed cars parked in different areas where Wren had parked his car. The parking lot was beside the high-end restaurant’s building, and it was enough for me to see the banner displayed above the facility. La Dolce Di Firenze’s name exudes elegance that suits the restaurant’s ambiance. Gazing at it through the glass curtain walls confirmed that it was a high-end Italian restaurant. Ang ganda nito, sobra.

“Mesmerizing isn’t it?” tanong sa akin ni Wren na isinagot ko nang pagtango. He closed the door of his car and stood beside me, joining in my admiration of the place’s beauty. As I stand outside the Italian restaurant, I’m immediately drawn to its striking glass curtain walls, which reflect the city lights and offer a glimpse of the cozy interior. Each pillar is adorned with small, aesthetic lanterns that cast a warm, inviting glow. The modern glass facade contrasts beautifully with the classic charm of the lanterns, creating a perfect blend of contemporary and traditional styles.

“La Dolce Di Firenze means ‘the sweetness of Florence’. Florence is an Italian city known for its rich cultural and culinary heritage. Matagal na kitang gustong dalhin dito pero ayaw ko namang makisalo sa quality time niyo ni Ren kaya hindi ako maka-tiyempo ng panahon para ayain ka. It may sound absurd, especially since you were breaking down a while ago, while I was kind of happy to finally bring you here with me.”

Napalingon ako sa kaniya. He was busy looking at the place and didn’t even glance at me. Kitang-kita ko ang tangos ng ilong niya. His almond-shaped eyes seemed to be longing for something I couldn’t quite guess. Nakadagdag pa ang mahahaba niyang pilik-mata at mapulang labi para mas maging guwapo siya sa paningin ko. Hindi lang ako swerte sa pagkakaroon ng matalino at guwapo na best friend. He didn’t make me feel left out or forgotten, unlike Ren, who always makes me feel like I am nobody and just a waste of time.

Only if there were a reset, I would wish for Wren not to become my best friend but rather someone to whom I would pour my genuine love, just as I fell head over heels for Ren. Kung sana ganoon lang kadali turuan ang puso. But I know that what I feel for Warren wouldn’t change how I feel about Rendy. Mahal ko si Wren pero bilang best friend ko. Nothing more than that.

We decided to walk toward the entrance together. Stepping inside, we greeted by a warm, earthy ambiance. The rich wooden furniture and checkered tablecloths add a touch of rustic elegance, while the soft, ambient lighting from the lanterns creates a welcoming atmosphere. The walls are decorated with vintage Italian posters and rustic wine racks, enhancing the authentic feel of the place. The large glass curtain walls let in natural light during the day, and as evening falls, they transform the space into a softly lit, intimate dining haven. Hindi ko maiwasang mamangha habang inililibot ng tingin ang buong lugar. The soft cozy music from the pianist performer made the whole place welcoming, unique and special.

I was in the middle of admiring the whole place when I noticed some familiar people seated four tables away from us. Gumuho lahat ng saya sa puso ko nang makita si Sir Lex, si Francis, isang hindi ko kilalang lalaki, at ang boyfriend kong si Rendy. Para akong nawala sa sarili nang magtama ang tingin naming dalawa. I seem to have forgotten how to move. Wren keeps asking me why, but my body isn’t responding to his questions. Nakatitig lang ako kay Ren ngayon habang naglalakad siya patungo sa direksiyon ko.

Bakit sa dinami-rami ng lugar, bakit dito pa? Parang pinaglalaruan naman ako ng tandhana nang pagtagpuin ang landas naming dalawa? Kasalanan ko bang hindi ko binasa ang lugar na nakalagay sa news update kanina tungkol kay Ren at Francis? Sisisihin ko na ba ang sarili ko dahil mas nag-focus ako sa nakaka-inggit na litrato kuha sa kanila rito?

My lips were trembling, but I tried my best to force a tiny smile. I was about to greet him when Ren grabbed my wrist and roughly pulled me, as if he were about to drag me out of the restaurant. Marami ang nakakakita sa amin ngunit dahil puro mayayaman ang laman ng restaurant na ito ay hindi nila inugaling pagkaguluhan si Rendy bilang isang rising celebrity. If the person who took the stolen photo is still here, he or she might take more shots and spread rumors about this incident involving me. Sa takot na mangyari ’yon ay hindi na ako umangal sa ginagawang paghila sa akin ni Ren kahit na aaminin kong nasasaktan ako sa higpit ng hawak niya.

I braced myself for whatever Ren might do outside La Dolce Di Firenze when Warren suddenly stepped in front of him to stop him. Nagawa niya namang pahintuin ang boyfriend ko sa ginagawa niya.

“Move away. Huwag kang makialam dito,” maangas na sabi ni Rendy sa kaniya. His voice was deep and cautious. Bigla akong kinabahan sa paraan niya nang pagsasalita.

Hanggang sa tuluyan nang lumundag ang puso ko nang tanggalin ni Warren ang kamay ni Rendy na nakahawak sa pulsuhan ko. Winakli naman ng boyfriend ko ang kamay ni Warren nang magawa nitong paghiwalayin ang higpit ng hawak ni Rendy sa aking pulsuhan. Sa sobrang higpit noon ay bumakat ang kamay niya at dahil maputi ako, kitang-kita ang labis na pamumula nito.

“We are here to eat. Baka nakakalimutan mong costumer din kami, Rendy,” kalmadong sabi ni Warren. Ramdam ko ang inis sa boses niya. Mas lalong kumunot ang kaniyang noo nang makita ang pamumula ng pulsuhan ko kaya itinago ko agad ito sa aking likuran. Napayuko ako sa hiya. Para akong napipi dahil hindi ko magawang magsalita ng kahit na ano.

“I don’t care. I want Win to get out of here. Not today when finilizing our aggreement with my co-lead actor Francis,” said Rendy, which felt like hundred knives piercing straight into my wounded heart. Naramdaman ko agad ang pangingilid ng luha ko lalo na noong marahas niyang inagaw ang kamay ko para magpatuloy sa balak na ilabas ako ng lugar. But Wren stopped him again from doing it.

He grabbed Rendy’s collar and leaned in closer to his face. Para akong aatakihin sa puso dahil sa ginawa niya.

“First, you didn’t tell Win about your stupid plans. Ni mag-text o magsend ng message sa Messenger ay hindi mo ginawa. I was the one who picked him up at the office. Your supposed date-the one you promised him-turned into a heartbreak when he saw the spreading news about this stupid setup with Francis, or whatever you call it. Wala akong pakialam kung artista ka, Rendy. You are being neglectful of my best friend! You are being neglectful of my best friend! He waited for you for more than half an hour in the office, hoping you would show up, and now you want him to leave because of what? Are you worried that he will cause trouble during your arrangement with Francis? Forget your excuses, Rendy! Mas pinatunayan mo lang sa akin na wala kang kwenta at hindi mo deserve na maging boyfriend niya!” Ramdam ko ang galit sa bawat salitang lumabas sa bibig ni Warren. I tried to stop him but he didn’t listen. Hindi nga siya nagulat o na-alarma nang umamba si Ren nang suntok. I was quick enough to stop him. I heard people around us gasp in shock, but that is the least of my concerns. I did my best to stop him, holding tightly to his hand to prevent him from punching Warren’s face.

“Gawin mo!” Wren’s voice was calm yet full of tension. I could see his teeth grit with suppressed anger. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang inis niya para sa boyfriend ko. “You’re such a douche bag, Rendy. You are fucking useless-” That was when Rendy burst out. He tried to punch Warren, but Warren was too quick and avoided it, causing Rendy to end up punching the air. Sa takot na masuntok ulit ang bestfriend ko ay humarang na ako sa kanila. People around us were panicking, especially when I felt a fist hit my face, specifically on my left eye. Sa hilo ko ay nawalan ako ng balanse ngunit may sumalo sa akin dahilan para hindi ako matumba.

Nagkakagulo na ang lahat ng mga taong nakapaligid sa amin ngunit naging kalmado naman ang tao na malapit sa akin. Kahit hindi ko tingnan ay alam kong si Warren ang sumalo sa akin. I could feel his heavy breathing. Alam kong susugod siya kaya pinigilan ko siya sa pamamagitan ng paghawak sa parte ng braso niya.

Mariin kong ipinikit saglit ang mga mata at saka ito iminulat. Rendy’s angelic face came into view, his expression filled with shock. Kitang-kita ko na nabigla rin siya sa nangyari. Alam ko namang hindi niya sinasadiyang suntukin ako. Kasalanan ko rin kasi pabigla-bigla akong humaharang. Ang akala ko lang kasi ay hindi niya ako magagawang suntukin kung haharang ako para pigilan siya, pero nabigo ako. Nagawa niyang saktan ako. Sa tatlong taon naming nagsasama, ito ang unang pagkakataon na sumayad ang kamao niya sa parte ng mukha ko.

Tuluyan nang bumagsak ang luha ko kaya agad ko itong pinunasan. “Ayos lang ako. Sorry,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

“What the hell, Win? Anong sorry?” dinig kong sabi ni Wren sa likod ko. He was about to reach Rendy, so I spread my arms to stop him. Ayaw ko na nang gulo.

Napansin ko ang biglang paglapit ni Sir Lex na Manager ni Rendy. He hurriedly approached me and held my face. He was so concerned about what had happened.

“Are you okay? Sorry, I should have come here quickly! Sorry, Win. Hindi ko kasi maiwan si Francis at ang Manager niya to settle down the things with their projects and the arrangements. Kung nagmadali lang ako, hindi sana mangyayari ito, sorry!” Kita ko ang pag-aalala sa mukha ni Sir Lex kaya hinawakan ko ang mga braso niya upang ipaalam na ayos lang ako. Pilit akong ngumiti upang itago ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngunit tinakwil ako ng aking mga mata nang tumulo ulit ang mga luha ko.

“Damn, Rendy! When will you learn? I told you to gatekeep Win to protect him from the paparazzi, but I didn’t mean for you to drag him out of this place! What did you do? Kailan ka ba matututo?” halos pabulong na sabi Sir Lex sa kaniya. Alam kong nagpipigil siyang huwag sumabog sa harap ng maraming tao.

“You’re a rising star, Ren. Doing this kind of thing will ruin your image! You should invite Win and his best friend to our table. Win is still your real-life partner, and he has the right to meet Francis. Hindi mo ba sinabi sa kaniya ang sinabi ko sa ’yo? Bring him with us so I can introduce him to your project partner, Francis. Tell me, sinunod mo ba ako?” dire-diretsong sabi ni Sir Lex sa kaniya.

Umiling si Ren at umiwas nang tingin. “Actually, we had a plan for our dinner date, but then this sudden meeting with Francis and his manager happened, ruining my plans-”

“Iyon naman pala, e! Bakit hindi mo na lang siya isinama? Rendy! Hindi mo ba naisip, you’re just making things complicated for the two of you! I support your real-life relationship with Win, even though it might complicate your image a bit. However, I don’t want to see either of you heartbroken because of Ren’s career. Bakit parang sa ginagawa mo, Ren, you are pushing and neglecting Win? Anong pumapasok sa isip mo?” The idea of Sir Lex defending me from Ren brought tears to my eyes. Hindi ko na magawang pawiin ang patuloy na pagbagsak ng mga luha sa aking mga mata.

Sir Lex faced me again and held my hand. “We need to treat your eye. It’s swollen. Kung hindi natin lalagyan ng cold compress, it will lead to black eye,” sabi niya sa akin.

“Sorry for interrupting everyone. We are very-” nahinto si Sir Lex sa pagsasalita sa harapan ng ibang costumer nang sunggaban ni Wren si Rendy. His fist landed straight to my boyfriend’s face, igniting the conflict between the two.

Nagsigawan na ang lahat nang nakakakita. Bigayan lang ng suntok si Warren at Rendy. I tried to stop them but Sir Lex pulled me, reminding me to stay away from the danger of their rage. Baka mas lumala lang daw ang matamo ko’t madamay ako sa bugbugan nila.

Some of the crew and staff tried to stop them to prevent the commotion, but none succeeded.

I kept shouting at them to stop, but they seemed deaf to my voice. I felt like I was voiceless the whole time. Para akong tanga na iyak nang iyak habang pinagmamasdan silang magpatayan sa harapan ko. Rendy wasn’t paying attention to me. Warren didn’t listen on my pleas.

“Sorry for causing this trouble, Sir,” I said to Sir Lex before leaving the area.

Nagtatakbo ako palayo, hindi iniinda ang malakas na buhos ng ulan. In an instant, I was embraced by the countless raindrops hitting my skin. The rain hides my tears; I prefer it this way.

Mas maganda nang lumayo ako. Ako ang mitsa ng away nila. If I leave, there’s a chance they might stop fighting. Hindi sila nakikinig sa akin at nagmistulang mga bingi sa pag-awat ko. They pushed me away when I tried to stop them from fighting, nasuntok pa nga ako sa mukha, e. Tangina.

I was running on the sidewalk of an empty road when I felt a hand stop me by gripping my shoulder.

When I turned around, I was surprised by the person who had come to stop me from running away.

I saw Ren’s lips slowly curving into a smile. His bruised face made me blame myself. Sobrang nasasaktan ako na napakarami niyang pasa at sugat sa mukha. I could have stopped Warren from punching Rendy. Mukha ang puhunan niya. Without his perfect face, Ren will need some time to restore his flawless porcelain skin. Nakonsensiya ako dahil parte ako ng dahilan kung bakit may bangas siya ngayon sa iba’t ibang parte ng mukha niya.

In the midst of my guilt and sadness, I felt compelled to hug him. As my arms reached out to embrace the person who holds a special place in my heart, I was taken aback to see Warren standing behind Ren, drenched by the pouring rain. He had bravely stepped in to defend me from my own boyfriend, fully aware that Ren’s fans might attack him because of the incident at La Dolce Di Firenze.

Seeing Warren’s swollen face, so unrecognizable and pained, instantly shattered my heart. Dumadaloy kasama ng tubig ulan ang dugo mula sa mga sugat niya. Dumagdag si Warren sa pag-aalalang nararamdaman ko. I was caught between celebrating this moment because Rendy had finally made an effort to stop me from running away, and rushing Warren to the nearest hospital to treat his bleeding face. Kung malala ang natamo ni Rendy, mas malala ang nakuha ng bestfriend kong si Warren.

Parang nilalamukos ang puso ko. Mahal ko si Rendy at mahal ko rin si Warren. Magkaiba man ang lebel ng pagmamahal ko sa kanila, alam ko pa rin ang tama sa mali. Warren needs assistance. I need to rush him to the hospital for proper treatment of his wounds.

So, I let go of my embrace. Lumayo ako nang bahagya kay Rendy at saka tinitigan siya. “Sorry for ruining this night. Alam kong mahalaga sa ’yo ang gabing ito. Humihingi ako ng paumanhin kasi-”

Butterflies danced in my stomach as his tender lips brushed mine. The myriad raindrops wove a spell, soothing my pain with their gentle touch. Rendy’s kiss was a mesmerizing snare, a siren’s call I would willingly step into, surrendering completely.

When Ren withdrew his lips, he rested his forehead against mine, his eyes gently closed. I kept mine open, deliberately locking my gaze with his to drink in the closeness of his presence. Kahit may bangas na ay napaka-gwapo niya pa rin.

“I’m sorry for everything, Win. I’m sorry for pushing you aside and ignoring your calls. I’m sorry for my actions back at La Dolce Di Firenze. Let me make it up to you. Allow me to share all my plans with you. Pangako, hindi na kita kakalimutan.” Ramdam ko ang sinseridad sa boses niya. Kahit nakapikit ito ay alam kong totoo lahat ng binitawan niyang salita at sapat na sa akin iyon upang magpatuloy sa magulong relasiyong ito. Wala, e. Mahal ko.

“Thank you, Ren, but please let me see Warren first. He needs to be rushed in the hospital. . .” hindi ko na nagawa pang yariin ang sinasabi nang makitang wala na ang best friend ko sa likuran ni Rendy.

He left already, probably disappointed by how I handled the situation with my boyfriend.

If there’s one soul wounded by my boundless devotion to Rendy, despite his countless missteps, it is surely my best friend, Warren. He has watched me repeatedly forgive and choose Rendy, and in that, I have unknowingly caused him great sorrow.

I’m so sorry for failing you, Warren.

*

Oo, be! Kung pwede lang suntukin ko rin si Win sa katangahan niya ay ginawa ko na. I know I am not the one who felt like Win is crazy martyr over Rendy here, like hey, bulag ka ba talaga for not seeing Wren’s love for you?

Nakakayamot!

-KuyaSen

🚩3: Cream walls and tiled floors

WIN

I couldn’t help but stare at the front door of Wren’s unit as Ren and I passed by. Alam kong nandiyan siya. The moment he disappeared onto the sidewalk of that empty road, I tried looking for him by going back to the La Dolce Di Firenze parking lot, but there wasn’t any trace of Warren. Ang sabi ko ay pupuntahan ko agad siya oras na makauwi kami ni Ren pero alam kong aalma si Ren dahil sa nangyaring alitan sa kanila doon sa restaurant. I need to find a way to see Wren and check on him. For now, kailangan na namin maligo at magpatuyo. Mahirap na at baka magkasakit kami ni Ren.

Nang makapasok sa condo unit namin ni Ren ay agad akong nagtungo sa baño. I immediately took a shower. Hindi rin mabura ang ngiti sa labi ko habang inaalala ang mga sinabi sa akin ni Rendy kanina. He gave me a lot of assurance that I would definitely embrace it for good. Mas lumapad ang ngiti ko nang maaninig ko siya sa labas ng shower area. Ito kasing baño ay nahahati sa dalawang dibisiyon. The first half is where the toilet bowl and vanity mirror are located, while the latter part is for the shower. Since the glass was frosted, I could only see his silhouette through it.

“Here are your clothes,” he said before leaving.

It was a simple gesture, but it had a big impact on me.

Hanggang sa mayari ako maligo ay suot ko pa rin ang pinakamatingkad na ngiti sa aking labi. I was drying my hair in front of the mirror, looking at my reflection and smiling as if I’d won a lottery jackpot. Suot ko na ang over-sized shirt na dinala rito ni Ren kanina. This shirt was his. He paired it with pajamas since it’s raining outside. The cold weather will surely add to the chill of the AC inside our unit.

Nang makalabas ako sa baño ay nakita kong nakikipag-usap si Ren sa phone niya. He was in the living room, his back facing me. It’s not my thing to eavesdrop, but I was on my way to our room when I heard him, which caused me to stop and listen for a moment.

“I’m on my way. Hinatid ko lang talaga si Win, Sir Lex. Don’t worry, I’ll show up.”

So, aalis pa rin pala siya? I should be happy because I will have the chance to see and check on Warren, but I won’t deny that I’m feeling jealous. Alam kong si Sir Lex na manager ang kikitain niya. Hindi man ako sigurado pero baka nandoon pa rin si Francis at ang manager din nito.

Bagsak ang mga balikat ay pumasok ako sa kwarto namin. I removed the towel and hung it on a hanger before putting it inside the cabinet. Nang humarap ako sa entrada ng kwarto ay bumungad sa akin ang basang-basa na si Ren.

“I need to head back to the restaurant. I forgot to sign a document,” he said to me right away.

“Hindi ka ba muna maliligo? Baka naman magkasakit ka!” sita ko sa kaniya.

“Don’t worry. I will have a quick shower. Nagpaalam lang ako sa ’yo,” nakangiti niyang sabi sa akin. Dahil doon ay naramdaman ko ang labis na pag-init ng mga pisngi ko. Kinilig naman ang accla!

“Kindly prepare my clothes. Makidala na lang din sa baño. Thank you, I love you,” he said and left, leaving me with my heart nearly exploding. Jusko! Ang tindi naman magpakilig ng lalaking ito! Halos magtatalon ang kiffy ko sa kilig-ay! Wala nga pala ako no’n.

Since he will be heading back there, I chose his usual outfit: a cotton minimalist shirt paired with jeans. Kumuha rin ako ng underwear niya na ninakawan ko pa ng amoy kahit amoy fabricated laundry lang naman ito. Bakit ba? Naglalandi, e. Pagbigyan!

I expected that the comfort room door wasn’t locked, so I carefully opened it. The shadow of his body immediately registered in my eyes. I had seen it countless times before. I had also experienced the warmth of his love several times (If you know what I mean). Thinking of it now, it felt like my ears and cheeks were as red as tomatoes. Why on earth would I think of those memories? Para ko na rin nilason ang sarili kong isip. Sa lahat ng lason, ito ang pinakakinaaadikan ko!

“Your clothes are here-” nailapag ko na ang mga damit niya sa counter ng faucet nang makita ko siyang nakasilip sa frosted glass door ng shower.

“Y-yes?” I asked him. Muntik ko na malunok ang tatlong letra na ’yon. Jusko! Bakit ba parang nakikipagtitigan ako ngayon kay Zeus? Napaka-gwapo!

“Gusto lang kita makita kaya sumilip ako. I can’t get you out of my mind. I already miss you.” Sus! Bolero! Palibhasa bumabawi sa akin kaya napakaraming baon!

Pabiro akong umirap sa kaniya. “Maligo ka na diyan dahil may naghihintay sa ’yo sa La Dolce!” paalala ko sa kaniya.

“I will introduce you to Francis tomorrow, but for now, I’ll go back there alone. People are still in shock from what happened, and if I bring you there now, they will likely take pictures of you and spread them online. Alam mo naman ang power ng social media. Sorry kung nasaktan kita kanina, physically and emotionally,” he said, his eyes still locked on mine.

I smiled. “Akala mo ba ay tatanggapin ko na lang bigla ang panunuyo mo? Of course not!” Kita ko ang gulat sa mga mata niya nang marinig ang mga sinabi ko.

“I grabbed tickets for Enchanted Island, and we’re hitting it up tomorrow. Para maging bati tayo, sumama ka na pasiyalan natin ang theme adventure park na ’yon sa Davao. It will only take two hours to get there, and I know it will be worth spending that time with you.” Finally, I told him everything without stuttering. I had planned to talk to him in the car, but I didn’t feel ready. Now that I’ve mustered the courage to share my plans for tomorrow, I hope he won’t turn me down.

“I will check my schedule,” sabi niya, bagay na nagpalaho ng ngiti sa labi ko. “If I’m not mistaken, I don’t have any scheduled meetings or anything tomorrow, so let me just confirm with Sir Lex, okay?” That was enough to bring back my smile.

Lumabas na ako ng baño. Halos magtatalon ako sa tuwa. I was silently screaming with joy. Nagtatalon ako patungo sa couch na nasa living room. Ibinato ko ang sarili doon at saka yumakap ng isang throw pillow. Doon ko pinakawalan ang sigaw ko. Sobrang saya ko lang kahit na hindi pa sigurado na walang ibang agenda si Ren bukas. Malakas lang ang kutob ko na tuloy ang lakad namin.

Minutes passed, and then Ren eventually showed up where I was sitting. Magsasalita pa lang ako nang lumapit siya sa akin at mabilis akong binigyan ng halik sa noo. His manly scent reached my nose, reminding me how head over heels I was for this man. Ramdam ko ang pagwawala ng puso ko dahil sa paghalik niya. Lagi niyang ginagawa ’to sa akin noon. Doing it again brought a nostalgic feeling to my senses. Hindi ko maiwasang hindi kiligin dahil sa kaniya.

“I’ll be home by 10 PM. I’ll text you later,” he said before leaving the unit.

In an instant, I was alone. The silence was deafening. Memories-both good and bad-kept flashing back. I could even hear Rendy’s laughter shift to my sobs, then our mini-celebration when he got another commercial, and finally back to my suppressed cries. This unit has witnessed every moment of my life. The cream walls and tiled floors have heard my laughter and my tears. Being here alone made me feel suffocated, so I pulled myself together and went to the kitchen.

I looked through the refrigerator, and once I found all the ingredients I needed, I began to cook food for Warren. Naudlot ang dinner namin dapat sa La Dolce Di Firenze at deserve niyang malutuan ng isang chicken curry, iyong paborito niya.

It took me half an hour to finish the meal. Nagbalot na rin ako ng kanin na good for two, inilagay ko ito sa isang paper bag saka ako mabilis na lumabas ng unit upang magtungo sa room ni Warren.

I pressed the doorbell and waited for almost five minutes with no response. I then knocked on the door, called his name, and waited, but still nothing happened. Unti-unti na nabubuo ang kaba sa dibdib ko.

I tried to twist the door knob, but it was locked. Hindi na ako nagdalawang isip na bumalik sa unit ko para kuhanin ang spare key ng condo unit ni Warren. We planned to buy condo units side by side, and we exchanged spare keys so that in case of an emergency, we could easily get inside.

The moment I got the key, I went out holding the food pack in my other hand. Agad kong binuksan ang front door ng unit ni Warren. I was greeted by the neatness of the place. Kung titingnan sa pagiging organisado at pagiging malinis ng unit, mapagkakamalang babae ang may-ari. Not a single speck of dust was anywhere, but despite that, I could still feel my heart in suspense.

Agad akong nagtungo sa k’warto niya at para akong nabunutan ng tinik nang makita ko siyang nakahiga ro’n.

Dahil nakapatay ang ilaw ay madilim sa loob. Nabuksan ko naman na ang pinto ngunit para ipakita ang galang ko ay kumatok ako ng tatlong beses doon. I turned on the lights, and as the room was illuminated by the sudden brightness, my grip on the paper bag of the food pack instantly loosened.

There, lying peacefully on the white bedspread, was a sight that ruined its clean look. It was stained with blood and seemed damp, probably because Warren had bruises and had been caught in the heavy rain at La Dolce Di Firenze a while back.

Hindi ko na inalala ang dalang pagkain. My concern immediately turned to my best friend.

I rushed over to him, shaking him awake as my tears began to fall. Napakababaw ng luha! Nakakainis na mga mata ito!

“Wren, are you okay? Wren, wake up! Please tell me you’re okay!” I asked, gently shaking him.

Ang pamamaga ng mukha niya ay mas lumala kaysa kanina. His face was covered in blood from multiple cuts and bruises inflicted by Ren. Putok din ang gilid ng labi niya. Both of his eyes were swollen, seemed like he couldn’t open them.

Slowly, I felt his hand reached my arm. Napanatag ako nang gawin niya ’yon.

I was about to say something when he said, “I missed you calling me Wren.”

I could see how hard he was trying to open his eyes, but they were too swollen. Nakasilip man siya nang kaunti ngunit mas pinili niya na lang din na ipikit ang mga ito.

Para akong bata na inagawan ng laruan. Iyak ako ng iyak dahil sobra akong nasasaktan para kay Warren. Seeing him suffer physically pained me, knowing I could have done something to save him-but I chose to run away.

“Let me bring you to the hospital, please, Wren. Let me. . .” I couldn’t continue because I was sobbing too hard. Hinawakan ko nang mahigpit ang kamay niya at inilapit sa pisngi ko.

“When Rendy came into our lives three years ago, I was so ecstatic to see you genuinely happy. When I found out that his nickname was Ren, which sounded like my nickname, I was instantly saddened knowing you would sacrifice the name you usually called me-from Wren to Warren. As your best friend, it was fine, so I gave way.” His voice was so weak. Parang nilalamukos ang puso ko habang pinakikinggan siya. Hearing those words from him was like a whip hitting my heart countless times. Tama naman siya. Before, I told him I would call him by his real name because Rendy was known as Ren. I never knew it would affect Wren. I didn’t know, and I felt guilty for not considering how he would feel.

“I gave way, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t do anything when he punched you in the face.” Nagtungo ang kamay niyang hawak ko sa aking mata kung saan dumapo ang kamao kanina ni Ren. “May black eye ka na nga, e. Parehas na tayo!” he joked and laughed. Naubo pa siya kaya nag-alala ako.

“Wren, let me rush you to the hospital. Your wounds need stitches! Baka mapano ka! Ang daming dugo na nawala sa ’yo!” bulalas ko sa kaniya.

“Hindi na kailangan,” sabi niya at saka sinubukang bumangon. I helped him, and once he sat on the bed, I sat beside him.

“Your presence just healed me instantly,” he joked. “Thank you for visiting me here, Win. I appreciate you.”

Kung pwede lang na hampasin ko ang braso niya ay ginawa ko na. His bruises were serious. Hindi ako nagbibiro na kailangang tahiin ang mga ito pero heto siya at nakukuha pang magbiro sa akin.

“You’re still wet, Wren. Does that mean you haven’t had your shower yet?” I asked him, and he answered it with a nod. “Nako! Baka magkasakit ka!”

“Nahihilo ako sa bawat galaw kaya hindi ko na magawang maligo. Sorry.”

Sobra akong nalungkot nang sinabi niya ’yon. Nangangamba rin ako na baka kung ano ang mangyari sa kaniya. I immediately checked his head to see if he had any bruise there as well. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik ng makitang wala. Baka kasi mamaya kaya siya nahihilo ay may internal bleeding siya.

“Let me assist you, okay? Paliliguan kita. Pakakainin. I cooked your favorite food, Wren! But promise me after that, you will allow me to bring you to hospital?” tanong ko sa kaniya.

Gumuhit ang ngiti sa labi niya. “Aalagaan mo ako na parang baby mo? Ang sweet naman!”

Tuluyan ko nang nahampas ang braso niya at agad naman siyang napaiktad. When I checked his arm, I saw more bruises. Meron din siyang pasa roon. Jusko, Rendy! Anong ginawa mo kay Warren!

I wasted no time. I guided Wren towards the comfort room. Pinaliguan ko siya ro’n. Hindi na ako naiilang kahit na naka-boxer na lang siya ngayon. Actually, his physique was like an athlete. Hindi masiyadong maskulado, hindi rin payat. Kumabaga katamtaman lang at sanay na ako na makita ito dahil noon pa lang, katawan niya na ang nakikita ko. Nakatulog na nga siya ng hubo’t hubad sa tabi ko noong minsan na nalasing siya at wala namang nangyari, dahil bestfriend ko si Ren at alam niya ang limitasiyon niya.

Nang matapos maligo ay binihisan ko siya. I made him wear the most comfortable clothes I could find in his cabinet. Dinala ko siya sa dining table pagkayari niya magbihis. Alam kong gutom siya maging ako dahil parehas kaming hindi pa kumakain.

I prepared the meal, and while I was doing it, I could see the joy on Warren’s face. Even though it was covered with bruises and wounds, I could clearly see that he was very happy.

“Thank you, Win,” he said, holding my hand.

“Malakas ka kaya sa akin,” sagot ko at saka kumuha ng kanin at chicken curry. Isinubo ko iyon sa kaniya. “H’wag abuso. Alam kong kaya mong kumain kaya kumain ka na!” biro ko na ikinatawa niya.

We spent the night eating together, enjoying the simple moments we used to share before Rendy came into my life.

Nasa kalagitnaan kami ng pagkain nang may marinig akong kumalampag ng pinto. Sa lakas noon ay tila ba sinasira na ang pinto ng unit ni Warren mula sa labas. Kabado, agad akong nagtatakbo patungo ro’n.

I was about to shout when I opened the door, but I was caught off guard by seeing Rendy outside. Rage was evident in his eyes.

“Go home,” he said with finality.

“Ren, we need to bring Warren to the hospital. He needs to be treated-” nahinto ako sa pagsasalita nang hablutin niya ang kamay ko at wala ano-anong hinila ako palabas ng unit ni Warren.

“Hell, I care, Win! When I say go home, go home!” he shouted, his voice echoing through the entire corridor of our floor.

*

Ü

Ano na, Win?

-Kijarasen

🚩4: Espresso Enclave

WIN

Naging madali para kay Ren ang hilahin ako palabas ng unit ni Warren. He slammed Wren’s door closed and dragged me inside ours, causing me to frown at the pain from his tight grip on my wrist.

Halos masira ang pinto ng unit namin ng isara niya ito. He even locked it and stood dominantly while facing me. Walang pagsidlan ang kaba sa puso ko. It felt like any moment now, my heart was about to explode.

The way Ren glared at me sent shivers down my spine. I could see dark clouds surrounding his head.

“Ano ba sa mga sinabi ko ang hindi mo naintindihan?” His voice was calm and deep, but I could sense how angry he was.

“R-Ren, Warren needs me. W-we need to bring him to the nearest hospital. Kailangang gamutin ang mga sugat niya. They were bleeding nonstop, and if we let it prolong, he would be in danger.” I tried my best to explain everything. Halos malunok ko ang mga letra na aking sinambit dahil sa takot na baka magalit sa akin si Rendy. Mahal ko siya, sobra-sobra, ngunit ngayong kailangan ni Warren ang tulong ko ay hindi ako magdadalawang isip na baliin ang mga gustong mangyari ni Rendy.

“Walang aalis,” sambit niya, buo ang loob. He even blocked my way out.

“I know you’re mad at him for what happened back at La Dolce, but Ren, please! Help me bring Warren to the hospital!” I pleaded. Halos lumuhod na ako sa harapan niya, ngunit nagmistulang bato ang puso niya. His ears seemed deaf to all my pleas.

A sudden thought of Warren in his room entered my mind. The idea of him bruised and weak made me feel terrible. Kailangan kong magmadali bago pa kung anong mangyari sa bestfriend ko!

I hurriedly walked toward Ren and tried to grab the doorknob. Pinigilan niya ako.

“Bakit ba gustong-gusto mong tulungan ang walang kwenta na ’yon, Win?!” sigaw sa akin ni Ren. Natigilan ako, tila nabingi sa mga salitang binitawan niya. Warren might seem like nonsense to him, but for me, he’s everything. Mahal na mahal ko si Rendy pero mas malalim at mas matibay ang nabuo naming relasiyon ni Warren bilang magkaibigan. Hindi ko lang siguro matanggap na sabihan niyang walang kwenta ang bestfriend ko dahil sa katunayan ay si Warren ang siyang laging nandiyan sa tuwing tinatalikuran niya ako. He has no idea how genuine Warren really is.

“Wala ka ba talagang konsensiya, Ren? You’re the one who almost killed him, and yet I don’t see any trace of conscience on your face. Tao ka pa ba?” He was taken aback by the words I said. I meant every single word that came out of my mouth. If that’s the only way to convince him to bring Warren to the hospital, then I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him harsh truths.

“If you don’t really have the heart to help me, just let me do it on my own. P’wede kaming mag-taxi kung hindi mo kami magagawang ihatid sa ospital, Ren,” sambit ko. Himala na hindi na siya umalma sa kagustuhan kong makalabas. Nakita ko na lang ang sarili na nasa harap ng pinto ni Warren. I didn’t waste any time and ran toward my best friend. Dahil sa kusina ko siya iniwan kanina ay doon agad ako nagtungo. He’s not there.

Mabilis akong natungo sa kwarto niya. I saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, looking out the open window, his back facing me.

“Sorry,” I almost whispered.

Dahan-dahan ay humarap siya sa akin. The lights were off, but the moonlight reflected off his bare skin, revealing the flow of blood on his cheeks.

“We should go. Hindi humihinto sa pagdurugo ang mga sugat mo. Baka kung mapano ka pa, Wren,” wika ko. Dahil kabisado ko ang buong unit niya ay naging madali sa akin ang kumuha ng isang face towel sa kaniyang cabinet. When I got one, I immediately made my way toward him. Inalalayan ko siyang makatayo. Dahil hirap siyang makalakad ay kinailangan ko pa siyang alalayan. I put his arm around my neck and guided him with every step he took.

“You don’t have to do this, Win,” he said in a weak voice.

Umiling ako sa kaniya. “Hindi mo ako mapipigilan, Warren. Your safety is my top priority.”

Hindi na siya nagsalita pa pagkatapos noon. I knew he was having hard time speaking. Sobra ang panghihina niya ngayon kaya ganoon na lang ang kagustuhan kong dalhin siya sa pinakamalapit na ospital.

Nang makababa kami sa ground floor at kasalukuyang binabaybay ang lobby area ay natanaw ko ang pamilyar na kotse sa labas.

A smile slowly appeared on my face when I saw Ren get out of the car. He immediately approached us. Kahit na kita ko ang pagkairita sa mukha niya ay tinulungan niya pa rin ako sa pag-alalay kay Warren. Maluha-luha ako, hindi inaasahan na sa wakas ay tumimo sa puso niya ang lahat ng pakikiusap ko.

We carefully helped Warren into the passenger seat. Ren expected me to sit in my usual spot beside him, but since Warren needed me, I sat next to him in the passenger seat. Mabuti na lang at hindi na nagsalita pa si Ren dahil sa ginawa ko. He immediately went on his way and drove the car.

Sobrang nag-aalala ako para kay Warren. I kept on glacing at him, checking him from time to time.

Naging mabilis lang ang biyahe namin. When we got out of the car, the Saint Augustine Hospital nurses approached us and provided a wheelchair. Na-admit agad namin siya sa isang private room. We waited for almost 15 minutes until the doctor arrived. Lumabas muna kami ng silid para matahi ang mga sugat niya. Naging matahimik sa pagitan namin ni Ren habang naghihintay sa tahimik na pasilyo ng ospital. Ren was leaning against the wall while I sat on the bleachers. Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kaniya.

“Thank you for driving us here,” I said to him.

“Once we’re done here, we are going home. You’re not staying here with Warren, Win,” he replied before turning his back to me. Iniwan niya ako sa harap ng kwarto ni Warren mag-isa. Kahit na ganoon ang naging asal ni Ren, masaya pa rin ako na kahit papaano’y tinulungan niya kami.

Bumalik ako sa kinauupuan at naghintay pa ng oras. The doctor took almost one hour to finish stitching all his large wounds. Kinausap rin ako nito sa mga dapat gawin kay Warren. He even suggested that Wren needed time to rest, so he should consider taking some leave from his job.

Nagpasalamat na ako sa doktor at saka pumasok na sa loob ng k’warto ni Warren. He needs to stay here until tomorrow.

Nang makalapit ako ay sinundo agad ako ng mga mata niya. Unlike before, his swollen eyes had subsided somewhat. Kapansin-pansin pa rin ang mahabang tahi sa kilay at sa gilid ng panga niya. Dahil sa nakita ay nasaid lahat ng saya sa puso ko. Alam ko kasing may kasalanan din ako kung bakit nagkaganito siya. If only we had left the restaurant, that incident wouldn’t have happened.

“How are you feeling?” I asked him.

“I’m fine. Thank you for bringing me here,” he replied and smiled. “Tell me, hindi naman nabawasan ang kagwapuhan ko, ’di ba?” Nakuha niya pa talagang magbiro sa ganitong klase ng sitwasiyon.

Natawa ako sa mga sinabi niya. “Sana hindi mo na lang pinatulan si Rendy, napahamak ka pa tuloy. Sana hinayaan mo na lang siya sa mga sinabi niya sa akin. Hindi mo naman ako dapat na pinagtanggol pa. Kaya ko namang tiisin-”

“Nagka-black eye ka na nga dahil kay Rendy, hindi pa ba ako makikisali? I’m willing to fight a war for you, Win. Ganyan kita kamahal!” nakangiti niyang sabi sa akin. I could feel the warmth of his love for me. Napaka-swerte ko talaga dahil kay Warren.

“The doctor advised you to take rest at home. Baka abutin ka ng isang linggo bago makabalik sa trabaho. Kailangan munang pahupanin ang mga sugat mo,” paliwanag ko sa kaniya.

“Hindi naman uso sa akin ang magpahinga-”

“Ako talaga ang magpapasa ng resignation mo, Warren, oras na hindi ka makinig sa akin!” pananakot ko. I know it will work for him. Alam kong mahal niya ang trabaho.

“Sige na. Magli-leave na ako,” pagsuko niya.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, making a loud thud when it hit the wall.

“Let’s go home,” blankong sabi ni Ren sa akin.

Humarap muna ako kay Warren upang magpaalam. “I promised to visit you here tomorrow. Ako ang susundo sa ’yo rito.”

“You don’t have to do that. Alam ko namang may lakad kayo ni Rendy bukas. Ayaw ko namang makaabala pa sa inyo.”

As much as I want to argue with him, Wren has a point. A part of me wants to stick with what I said, but another part of me wants to agree with him.

“Sige na. Umuwi na kayo. Naghihintay na ang boyfriend mo sa labas,” paalala niya sa akin.

Tumango-tango ako sa kaniya. I stood up, but before I made my way out, I glanced at him.

“Thank you, Win,” I heard him say. Ngumiti lang ako sa kaniya bago tuluyang lumabas ng silid niya. Mabigat ang loob kong iwan siya mag-isa rito ngunit ayaw ko namang madagdagan ang mga nilabag ko sa mga sinabi ni Rendy. Ayaw ko namang pati kaming dalawa ay mag-away dahil sa pagiging matigas ng ulo ko.

When I saw him waiting outside, I strode over and grabbed his arm.

*

When morning came, Ren informed me that we would be meeting Francis, his co-actor from the BL series they were shooting. Iyong kagustuhan kong bisitahin at sunduin si Warren ay tuluyan nang naisantabi. I really wanted to formally ask Ren about it, but when he mentioned Francis, it felt like he didn’t want to entertain any more requests from me regarding Warren. Sobrang lungkot ko dahil doon pero hindi ko ito p’wedeng ipahalata. I should be happy because Ren finally agreed to let us both visit Enchanted Island. Siguro nga ay kailangan ko munang tanggalin si Warren sa isip ko. Siya na mismo ang nagsabi kahapon na ayos lang siya. I shouldn’t be worrying much.

When I was done wearing my clothes, I stand in front of the full-length mirror, taking in my reflection from head to toe. My outfit looks pretty solid: a crisp button-up shirt in navy blue, paired with tailored chinos. I adjust the collar of the shirt, smoothing out any creases. I shift my weight from one foot to the other, trying to gauge if the fit feels right. The chinos sit comfortably, not too tight, and the shoes are polished. I tuck in my shirt and check the alignment, making sure everything looks sharp. As I scrutinize my reflection, I straighten my posture and give myself a nod of approval. Looking good.

As I inspected myself in the mirror, I felt a familiar warmth behind me. My boyfriend had slid up and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I caught his reflection in the mirror, and he looked absolutely stunning. His tailored blazer and crisp shirt complemented his effortlessly stylish look. The soft smile on his lips and the sparkle in his eyes made my heart skip a beat. He had buried his face into my shoulder, and I could feel his breath warm against my skin.

Seeing us together in the mirror, I was overwhelmed by how lucky I was. His touch was both comforting and exhilarating, and in that moment, everything felt perfect. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us, our reflections, and the deep, genuine connection we shared.

Sana ay lagi na lang ganito si Rendy.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked, his voice low and seductive, almost a whisper.

Napalunok pa ako bago tumango-tango bilang sagot. Gosh! Baka mabuntis ako sa ginagawang pagtitig sa akin ni Ren mula sa repleksiyon namin sa salamin! Nakakainis naman!

We didn’t waste any time. Sabay kaming lumabas. I even checked Warren’s front door to see if he was here, but I didn’t sense the presence of my best friend. Baka ay nasa Saint Augustine Hospital pa siya.

I pushed the thought out of my mind. If I want to be happy today, I shouldn’t let Warren cross my thoughts, as thinking about him leads to worry.

Kumapit na lang ako sa braso ni Rendy habang naglalakad kami patungo sa parking space ng Skyline Condominiums. People were checking on us, specifically to the celebrity beside me. Alam ko na unti-unti niyang binubuo ang pangalan niya sa industriya ng pag-aartista at masaya ako na paunti-unti ay nakikilala siya ng mga tao. Sa galing ba naman niyang umarte ewan ko na lang kung hindi pa siya mabigyan ng spotlight, knowing he already had all the looks! Napaka-angelic face pa ng baby boy ko na ’yan!

Agad kaming sumakay sa kotse niya oras na mapuntahan namin ito sa parking space ng condo. I didn’t ask any more about where he planned for us to meet Francis. Naging tahimik lang ako sa biyahe hanggang sa maiparada niya ang kotse sa parking lot ng isang coffee shop. The shop’s name is Espresso Enclave. Dahil glass curtain walls ito ay natatanaw ko rin ang loob ng shop. Looking at it from the outside, I must say that they made the right choice with the dark brown and white color combination for the interior paint. The dark brown chairs, which look like pieces of chocolate, were really appealing to my eyes. Ganoon din ang motif ng counter nila na tila white chocolate ang atake. Whoever designed this place, I would probably give him 5 out of 5 stars!

It was so unexpected when Rendy opened the door for me. Nasanay na kasi akong sumasabay sa kanya sa tuwing lumalabas sa kotse. It was so unusual for him to do that, since I was used to him being non-clingy and not very expressive. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang hindi kiligin dahil sa kaniya. Shocks!

“Thank you,” usal ko, pilit na tinatago ang kilig sa pamamagitan nang pagkagat sa aking ibabang labi. Ang landi!

Bumabawi lang siguro talaga si Rendy sa mga pagkukulang niya at talaga namang masaya ako dahil doon. Sana ay magtuloy-tuloy na. I like him this way. Ayaw ko nang makita ang Rendy na nakita ko noong isang gabi sa La Dolce Di Firenze. I don’t like that version of Rendy.

Humawak ako sa braso ni Ren at sabay naming tinahak ang daan patungo sa loob ng Espresso Enclave. Hindi kami nahirapang hanapin si Francis dahil may ilan na nagpapa-picture sa kaniya. Hinintay muna naming mayari ang mga high school teen-agers na humingi ng litrato sa artista bago kami lumapit.

“Bro, partner ko, the one I kept telling you about, Win Del Cino,” pakilala ni Rendy sa akin doon kay Francis.

I offered my hand for a handshake which he accepted. “Nice meeting you,” I said.

“Have a seat,” he told us.

Naupo na kami ni Rendy sa upuan kaharap niya.

“Win, this is Francis Anderson, co-actor ko sa The Boy’s Next Door,” pakilala naman ni Ren sa kaharap namin. Tumango na lang ako sa kaniya habang nakangiti.

The first time I saw his face, I noticed a small bruise on the edge of his left jaw, which made me wonder where it came from. Alam kong nandoon siya sa La Dolce De Firenze kagabi. Maaaring magkapasa siya kung nakisali siya sa away nila ni Rendy at Warren, no unless he got it from somewhere else.

“So, anong atin?” tanong ni Francis sa amin. “Anyway, order na muna pala kayo ng kape niyo. Treat ko,” dagdag niya pa.

I shook my head. “Thanks but I don’t like a morning coffee. Acidic kasi ako,” pagdadahilan ko na alam kong ipinagtaka ni Rendy.

“Kailan pa? Sa pagkakatanda ko ay hindi ka naman acidic,” komento ni Ren sa akin.

“Hindi ko lang sinasabi sa ’yo dahil ayaw lang kitang mag-alala. I stopped drinking coffee almost a month ago. Lagi ako nasusuka sa umaga everytime na nalalagyan ng kape ang sikmura ko” paliwanag ko dahil totoo naman. Though, self-assessment ko lang na acidic ako. Ayaw ko lang magpalibre kay Francis. His vibe is kinda off.

“I just want the two of you meet, that’s all,” sagot ni Ren sa tanong kanina ni Francis.

Kita ko ang pagkunot ng noo niya. “Akala ko naman kung ano na. Alam mo namang busy ang schedule ko. Why didn’t you tell me about this? Akala ko naman kaya tayo nag-meet ay para pag-usapan ang tungkol sa series natin.”

Woah? That was harsh! Nakalimutan niya yatang nandito pa ako?

“Actually, I didn’t ask him to do it but Ren was so determined to cross our paths. Makulit kasi ’yan, e. Pasensiya ka na.” Kung may konsensiya siya ay mag-iinarte ito pero kung hindi ay magtatataras at magsusungit pa rin ito sa akin.

“I wouldn’t be here for too long. May lalakarin pa rin kasi ako. Anyway, nice meeting you, Win,” sabi ni Francis at muling inabot ang kamay ko. There was something off with him. I could feel it!

Instead of taking his hand, I asked him something. “Where did you get your bruise?”

Nagulat siya sa akin ngunit mabilis niya ring inayos ang sarili. Tumindig siya nang matikas at saka humarap sa akin. “None of your business.”

Can I have a continuation of the fight that happened last night? Ang pagkakaiba lang ay kaming dalawa na ni Francis ang magsusuntukan ngayon. Seriously? Ganito ba talaga kagarapal ang ugali niya? Wala man lang ka-humble-humble ang tao na ito! He doesn’t deserve to be stanned by thousands of people! Basura naman pala ang ugali niya!

*

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🚩5: Enchanted Island

WIN

I would not deny that meeting Francis somehow affected me. Akala ko ay napaka-humble niya sa personal, turns out, kabaliktaran pala.

Throughout the ride, I remained silent. Ren, being thoughtful, checked on me from time to time to see if I was okay. Tumatango lang naman ako sa kaniya kahit na deep inside, naiinis pa rin ako sa Francis na ’yon.

It was 11 AM when we arrived at Enchanted Island in Davao. Ren parked the car, and we planned to have a light meal for lunch. Baka kasi masuka-suka kami mamaya kapag sumubok kami ng mga rides.

We just ate at the pizza house where he ordered one large pizza and two frappes for drinks. Sabay naming pinagsaluhan ’yon. There were moments when people noticed Ren and politely asked for pictures. Suportado niya naman ako kaya kahit ako ang partner niya, na hindi naman nila alam, ay nagsilbi akong photograper everytime na may lalapit at magre-request ng litrato sa kaniya.

Sabi ni Sir Lex, mas maganda kung lay low lang ang relationship namin ni Ren para hindi ako madawit sa iba’t ibang issue sa industriya. It’s also his way of protecting me from paparazzi, which I would agree with. I appreciate Sir Lex and Ren’s genuine motives, but a part of me wasn’t really happy with that setup. Naiisip ko lang na kung iyong iba ngang queer couple ay masayang nabo-broadcast ang relasiyon nila, bakit hindi pwede kay Ren? Dahil rising star siya at makakasira ba sa imahe niya ’yon? No. I don’t get it. Kahit saan ko tingnan, hindi ko pa rin makuhang sumang-ayon sa kanila.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated, and I hoped it was a message from Warren. When I checked my phone, I was surprised to see nothing but a news notification on the banner.

BL actors Rendy Hiseo and Francis Anderson got into a fight with an unknown individual who was defending the rumored partner of Rendy.

“Are you okay?”

Napaangat ako ng tingin matapos marinig si Ren. I didn’t hesitate to show him the notification that appeared on my phone.

“Is this true? Kaya ba may pasa si Francis sa panga ay dahil nakisali siya sa pambubugbog kay Warren?” dire-diretso kong lintanya sa kaniya.

“Win, maniniwala ka ba agad sa mga haka-haka online?” sagot niya sa akin. “We are here to enjoy ourselves, not to fight!”

I sighed in defeat. He has a point. Mainis man ako, nangingibabaw pa rin ang kagustuhan kong sulitin ang mga oras na kasama siya ngayon.

I swiped away the notification and turned off my phone. Ibinalik ko ’yon sa bulsa ko at pinagpatuloy na lang ang pagkain. I couldn’t help but to think of Warren. Hindi ko naman ito maibahagi kay Ren dahil alam kong may galit pa rin sila sa isa’t isa ng best friend ko.

Ang hirap maipit sa ganitong klase ng sitwasiyon.

Nagpahinga lang kami saglit nang mayari kumain. After that, we walked toward the entrance. I showed the tickets to the staff, and they gave us two sticker bracelets. Sinuot namin ’yon at pagkaraa’y pinapasok na rin kami sa loob ng Adventure theme park.

The wonders inside wowed me. The whole motif resembled an island setup. Bawat rides at adventure courses ay may designated island setup na nakadagdag sa ganda ng buong lugar. They were connected by hanging bridges that made the whole place elevated from the ground. Gazing down, all I could see was the river flow and rock formations. Sobrang adventurous ng dating nito.

“Where do you want to start?” Ren asked me.

“Their highlight, maybe?” I asked him, waiting for his comment.

“Zipline agad? Tara!” nakangiti niyang sabi sa akin. He grabbed my hand and pulled me.

Medyo mahaba ang pila kaya nakakainip. Mabuti na lang ay dinaldal ako ni Ren kaya kahit papaano ay nawala ang pagkabagot ko. Ito ang ugali niya na hindi nakikita ng mga katrabaho ko. They kept nagging me to break up with him because he’s nothing but a walking red flag. Hindi nila alam kung gaano ako kasaya sa tuwing kausap si Ren. Madalas man siya magalit at makipagtalo sa akin, lagi naman siyang gumagawa nang paraan para bumawi. Like what happened to us at the La Dolce Di Firenze. Hindi niya sinasadiyang masuntok ako na kasalanan ko rin naman, kaya gumagawa siya ng paraan para bumawi sa akin ngayon. Alam niyang gustong-gusto ko siyang makasama sa mga ganitong klase ng gala. Nakaka-miss lang iyong mga panahong hindi masiyadong puno ang schedule niya. Iyong malaya pa kaming lumabas at lumibot, not minding the people around us. Ngayon kasi ay kailangan na naming mag-ingat dahil isang pagkakamali lang ay kakalat na agad sa media ang kabila’t kanang fake news. We were rumored to be in a relationship before. Kagaya nga ng sinabi ni Sir Lex ay nag-lay low kami kaya siguro naging madalang ang mga gala at lakad namin. Lumipas nga ang issue at nakalimutan ng ilan pero pakiramdam ko ay lumayo naman sa akin si Rendy.

We waited patiently for our turn to zipline, and when it was finally ours, I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. Sobrang saya ko habang kinakabit ang harness sa akin. The staff kept orienting us, and while he was talking, I was admiring Ren, who was standing beside me. Napaka-guwapo kasi!

We chose the superman position. Magkatabi kami ni Ren. I also prepared my tripod to capture the moment. The zipline is 1000 meters long. Kitang-kita ang iba’t ibang adventure rides sa ibaba ganoon na rin ang mga tao. Na-excite tuloy lalo ako habang pinaghahanda kami noong isang staff.

“Enjoy the zipline mga Sir,” sabi niya at saka pinakawalan kaming dalawa ni Ren.

Sobrang nalula ako sa taas ng kinalalagyan namin. Muntikan ko na ngang mabitawan ’yong tripod, mabuti na lang at nahawakan ni Ren ang kamay ko. He took it from me, placed it on his side, and told me to enjoy the moment. That was enough to add color to my heart, turning the dull fear I felt about my first zipline experience into something beautiful.

“Just enjoy the moment, Win,” Ren reminded me once more.

Nakisigaw na ako sa kanya habang patuloy kaming nagpapadausdos sa alapaap. Looking at the people below us, I could see them glancing up at us. I was about to return to the moment when I noticed something familiar among the crowd.

Even though he was wearing a black hoodie, I was one hundred percent sure it was Warren. His physique and the way he looked at me were enough to confirm my suspicions. I knew it was him!

Tuluyan na kaming nakalagpas sa kaniya. Hindi ko na nagawa pang habulin siya ng tingin. I was just surprised when Ren held my hand which made me look at him.

“I’m so sorry for what I did before, Win,” he said, looking at me with concern.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya. I was about to reply when his face suddenly drew closer to mine. His soft lips pressed against mine, making me feel a wave of euphoria explode inside my heart.

This is really different from what I expected him to be. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay bumalik kami sa umpisa. Iyong panahong nagliligawan pa lang kami. Mga panahong wala pang alitan at puro kasiyahan lang ang siyang namumutawi sa relasiyon naming dalawa.

Unti-unti niyang inilayo ang labi sa akin. When his face came into view, a sweet smile was beautifully spread across his lips. Halos matunaw ang puso ko habang pinagmamasdan ang mukha niyang bawat anggulo ay napaka-perpekto para sa akin.

“I love you, Win,” he said.

“Alam mo naman kung ano ang sagot ko diyan,” nakangiti kong sambit sa kaniya.

We shared the most genuine laughter until we finally reached the other end of the zipline.

“Good thing, I captured everything that happened back there,” Ren commented while the staff helped us to unbackle the harness.

“Where do you want to go next?” he asked me.

“Mega swing?”

“Sounds fun!”

Nagpasalamat na kami ro’n sa mga staff at saka sabay kaming bumaba ng napakahabang hagdan. We captured some photos along the way. May ilan ding nakakakilala sa kaniya at nagre-request ng litrato kaya nagiging photographer ako bigla.

Suddenly, the guy with black hoodie crossed my mind. Alam kong nandito si Warren. Alam kong siya ’yon!

Nang makababa kami ay sinubukan kong libutin nang tingin ang buong lugar ngunit bigo akong makita siya.

Like what we planned, we tried the mega swing. Parang hinihila ang mga bituka ko sa tuwing nabibitin sa ere ang malaking swing na ’yon. If it weren’t for Ren, I might have already gone hysterical. Para akong masisiraan ng ulo sa swing na ’to. Una at huling sakay ko rito. Hindi kaya ng sikmura ko!

Nang matanggal ang buckle namin ay nakita ko na naman si Wren. Sa kagustuhan na makalapit sa kaniya ay agad akong tumakbo at binaybay ang mahabang pathway ng exit. I even heard Ren calling out my name but I didn’t listen.

Nang makalabas ako ay nawala na naman siya. Wren, you making this hard for me.

In a minute, Ren finally reached me.

“What happened?” tanong niya. I could see the concern in his eyes.

Umiling ako. He would definitely be mad at the idea if Warren were here with us.

“Akala ko nakita ko si Calvin at Amanda rito, kamukha lang pala nila,” palusot ko sa kaniya. Good thing, he bit it.

We tried every adventure ride here. Nang mapagod ay nagpahinga muna kami saglit sa isang bench dito. We also bought cup of soda with sour-cream flavored fries on top of it. Masaya kaming kumakain habang pinagmamasdan ang kabuoan ng lugar. Sobrang saya lang ng puso ko ngayon dahil kasama ko siya. He brings me so much joy that no one else can. Iba talaga ang tama ng Rendy-effect sa akin.

“Naiihi ako. Saan ba ang pinakamalapit na comfort room dito?” he asked me.

“Hanapin natin,” sagot ko.

We stood up and wandered around until we saw the public rest room.

“Hindi ka gagamit ng baño?” He asked me, to which I responded by shaking my head.

“Hintayin na lang kita rito. Give me your food,” sabi ko sa kaniya. Iniabot niya naman sa akin ang hawak niyang cup.

“Mabilis lang ako,” sambit niya saka umalis.

Gumilid lang ako para mailayo ang sarili sa agos ng napakaraming tao. I was holding the cup of food with both hands while looking at my feet and tiptoeing on the ground.

“I’m happy that he’s not being violent toward you.”

That voice was enough to awaken me. I immediately turned to my side and saw Warren. He quickly removed his hoodie, confirming that it was truly him.

Agad akong napayakap sa kaniya. The joy in my heart overflowed upon seeing him. Siguro kung hindi natuloy ang paglabas namin ni Ren dito ay siya ang kasama ko ngayon, kaya siguro ganoon na lang ang saya ko nang makita siya ngayon dito.

“I knew it was you!” sabi ko nang bawiin ang sarili mula sa pagkakayakap sa kaniya.

Bahagya pang nakakirat ang isa niyang mata. Puro pasa na ngayon ang mukha niya at kapansin-pansin ang mahahabang tahi sa kilay at sa gilid ng kaniyang panga. Nakonsensiya naman tuloy ako bigla habang pinagmamasdan siya.

“Hindi ako mapakali kaya sinundan ko kayo. Alam mo namang ayaw kong pinagbubuhatan ka ng kamay ni Ren.”

A weak smile suddenly appeared on my lips. “Alam mo namang hindi niya sinasadiya ’yon. Kasalanan ko rin naman kaya ako nasuntok.”

Umiling siya. “He had the power to stop it, but he still let it happen.”

Bumuntong-hininga ako. “Hayaan mo na ’yon. Parte na ng nakaraan ’yon. . .” I paused, thinking about something I knew he wouldn’t agree with. Gusto ko lang din subukan kaya tinanong ko siya. “Sumama ka na lang kaya sa amin? Isa pa, gusto kitang makasama sakyan ang ibang ride na hindi pa namin nasubukan ni Rendy.”

Umiling agad siya sa akin. “I don’t want to cause any trouble, Win. Alam mo namang mainit ang dugo sa akin ng boyfriend mo. Makasigurado lang ako na safe ka kasama siya ay masaya na rin ako.”

What he said melted my heart. Mas iniintindi niya talaga ang kapakanan ko imbis na ang kalagayan niya. Kagagaling niya lang sa opera ng mga malalaki niyang sugat. Dapat ay nagpapahinga siya ngayon pero mas pinili niyang sumunod dito para lang makasigurado na maayos ang kalagayan ko kay Ren. Mahal na mahal talaga ako ng best friend kong ito.

“Sige na. Mag-enjoy lang kayo. Maya-maya siguro ay aalis na rin ako,” nakangiti niyang sabi sa akin. Hindi ko na siya pinigilan pa nang lumayo siya. Moments later, lumabas na rin si Ren mula sa public rest room.

He took his cup and offered me his arm. Alam niyang clingy ako kaya kumapit agad ako sa malaki niyang braso.

“Let’s continue the fun!” he said with joy.

I even raised my other hand to show my agreement. “Yes!” Then Wren suddenly appeared in my line of sight, blending with the crowd to hide from us.

Hindi nakaligtas sa mga mata ko ang bahid ng lungkot sa mukha niya. I badly want to bring them closer together, but every time I try, they keep drifting apart.

*

Thank you for reading! Please vote this chapter to help me promote my novel. Honestly, nalulungkot ako dahil walang nakaka-appreciate ng mga nilaan kong effort para mapaganda ang istorya na ito. I kept promoting my novels on Tiktok, hoping people will recognize the uniqueness of this story. Siguro ay makokontento na lang talaga ako na manatili bilang isang underrated writer. Ang hirap din mag-promote na walang pumapansin sa lahat ng ginagawa ko. However, I’m still thankful sa mga loyal readers ko na nag-stay, mapa-silent or active reader. Maraming salamat sa inyo 🥹

Nagdadrama,

Kijarasen

🚩6: Under the shade of tree

WIN

“Pa-mysterious effect talaga mga posting mo ’ne, Win” untag sa akin ni Amanda. Nakasilip siya sa division ng workstation ko. Katabi ko lang kasi siya. Aside from Calvin, she’s one of my friends. Si Calvin naman ang nasa kabilang side ko. Bale napapagitnaan nila akong dalawa. Matagal ko na silang kasama ni Calvin kaya sila ang pinakamalapit sa akin. Speaking of Calvin, he just invaded my workstation. Nakuha niya pang kumandong sa akin. He even took my hands and wrapped it around his belly.

“Anong akala mo, Calvin, magaan ka?” sita ko sa kaniya. I did my best to push him away from me.

“Iyan siya. Ganyan siya,” sabi ni Calvin matapos tumayo at lumayo nang bahagya sa akin.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, litong-lito sa mga sinabi niya.

“Narinig ko ’yong sinabi ni Amanda. Tado tago kayo sa relasiyon niyo ni Rendy red flag kahit na tatlong taon na kayong mag-on. Nako, Win, you should not settle for less-ouch!” Amanda was quick enough to smack him on the face.

“Nakikialam ka naman sa trip ni Win? Huh? Bumalik ka na nga sa workstation mo!” singhal niya sa lalaki kaya natawa na lang ako.

“Ikaw naman!” nakangusong sabi ni Calvin habang hinihimas ang pisngi niya. “Nautusan lang ako para ipatawag si Win ni Sir Henry sa Designing office para ipaasikaso sa ’yo ’yong bagong design ng back portion ng NEXION X5. Sadista talaga ang kapit-bahay mo, Win,” mangiyak-ngiyak na dagdag niya.

“Sige. I’ll be there in a minute. Yariin ko lang itong ginagawa ko,” sagot ko sa kaniya. Ako kasi ang nakatoka sa pag-aasikaso ng mga mails at transferring ng data sa pinaka-manager namin. Crucial ang trabaho ko kasi confidential. Maling send lang, ligwak ako sa trabaho.

Nakita ko pang itinaas ni Amanda ang kamao niya upang takutin si Calvin kaya agad itong tumayo at saka dali-daling bumalik sa workstation niya.

“Ang cute niyong dalawa,” komento ko nang makalayo si Calvin. “Kamusta na ba ang lagay niyo? Wala pa ring label?” As far as I remember, nagkakamabutihan ang dalawa.

Nasamid si Amanda sa mga sinabi ko. “Win, alam mo naman ang sagot ko diyan.”

“Pwede ka naman magmahal habang bumabawi sa pamilya mo. Mas maganda pa rin ang may inspirasiyon, Amanda,” sambit ko.

“Pamilya muna, Win. Mapagyari ko lang ng college ang bunso kong kapatid, pwede na siguro ako mag-boyfriend. For now, magtiyaga muna siya. Maghintay siya kung kaya niya at kung hindi, then, bye Calvin, maybe,” sagot niya sa akin habang may alanganing ngiti sa labi.

Isinara ko ang laptop ko. “Ikaw din. Manghihinayang ka sa mga panahong hindi ka pa nag-take ng risk at sumubok. Baka dumating ang oras na kwestyuhin ni Calv ang worth niya. Mas magandang may assurance siyang pinanghahawakan.” Tumayo na ako para sana asikasuhin ang sinabi ni Calvin nang magsalita ulit si Amanda.

“Kayo, Win. Kailan niyo balak i-share sa mundo ang relasiyon niyo ni Rendy? Hindi naman habang buhay ay nakatago ka lang sa anino niya. Deserve mo pa rin talaga ang ipagmalaki sa iba.” Her words pierced my heart like thousands of knives. Kumirot ng bongga ang puso ko. Sapul na sapul naman ako ’ron.

I didn’t answer her. Tinahak ko na lang ang daan patungo sa Designing department nang hinarang ako ni ate Nelia, iyong utility namin. May hawak siyang bouquet ng white tulips. Iyong paborito ko pang bulaklak.

“Sir Win, may nagpapaabot lang sa inyo. Sakto at nakita ko po kayo rito,” nakangiti niyang sambit saka ibinigay sa akin ang Bouquet. Nagpasalamat ako sa kaniya bago sinuri kung kanino galing ’yon.

I found a small card on it. I took and read it.

I miss you already. Advanced happy monthsary, Win. I love you.

Love,

Ren

Nag-init ang mga pisngi ko lalo pa nang kantiyawan pa ako ng mga katrabaho ko. Monthsary na nga namin ni Ren bukas. Nakakatuwa lang na hindi niya nakalimutan ’yon. I feel so special. Talagang bumabawi si Ren sa mga pagkukulang niya sa akin. This is so unexpected!

Mabilis akong bumalik sa workstation ko upang ilagay ang white tulips na dala ko.

“Sweet naman pala kahit red flag,” kantiyaw ni Calvin sa akin. Inirapan ko lang siya.

“Sanaol,” usal ni Amanda na tinawanan ko lang.

Inilapag ko na ang bouquet ng white tulips saka ako nagmadaling nagtatakbo papunta sa pakay ko. Baka magalit na si Sir Henry sa tagal ko.

Nang makarating doon ay binati ako ng ilan sa mga staff ng department nila. Nagdiretso na ako sa office ng kanilang department manager.

“Hi, Sir. Good morning,” bati ko sa kaniya.

“Have a seat,” sagot niya sa akin kaya naupo ako sa cushion chair na nasa gilid ng table niya.

Iniabot niya sa akin ang isang folder na may kakapalan.

“Here’s the final output. My apologies; all my staff were very busy finishing this. I do have the soft copy, but it’s not polished. Please check every detail in the folder and revise all mistakes in the soft copy before sending it to our boss. Do you understand?”

Honestly, gusto kong magreklamo. Delikado ang pinapagawa niya sa akin. Kapag nagkamali ako, maaaring mapagalitan pa ako pero anong magagawa ko, administrative assistant lang ang position ko. Kailangan ko pa ring sumunod sa pinag-uutos ng mas mataas sa akin.

“Okay, Sir. Is that all? Babalik na po ako sa workstation ko para maumpisahan na ito,” tanong ko sa kaniya.

He answered me with a simple nod and thanking me afterwards.

Lalabas na sana ako nang humabol siya dahilan upang mapalingon ako sa kaniya.

“Our big boss needs it this afternoon. Make sure to finish it before the end of your shift, or you’ll have to take it home.”

Bagsak ang mga balikat ko na lumabas sa office niya. Doon ko pinakawalan ang isang malalim na buntong-hininga na kanina ko pa pinipigilan. Tamad talaga ang mga nasa department na ito. Legit!

Nang makabalik sa workstation ko ay ibinahagi ko kay Calvin at Amanda ang sinabi ni Sir Henry. Like what I expected, nainis din sila. Alam nilang mabusisi ang pag-aayos ng ganito dahil sa mga special codes at terminologies. Pinapahirapan talaga ako ng matandang hukluban na ’yon!

“Sabihin mo kaya kay Sir Gene? Siya ang area manager natin, ’di ba? Baka matulungan ka niya,” suhestiyon ni Amanda sa akin.

“Girl, best friend ’yon ni Sir Henry. Non-sense rin ang lalapitan ko kaya asikasuhin ko na lang kaysa ilapit pa sa kaniya. Mag-iingat na lang ako para hindi maligwak sa trabaho,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

“Sabagay. If you need us, tell us, okay?” sagot niya sa akin.

Tumango na lang ako sa kanila saka bumalik sa pagtatrabaho. I kept glancing at the bouquet of white tulips. It served as my happy pill every time I felt frustrated with what I was doing. Life saver talaga ang boyfriend ko. Kahit papaano ay nabawasan ang frustrations ko.

When lunch break came, Amanda and Calvin called me but I refused to join them.

“Sunod ako. Yariin ko lang ito,” sagot ko sa kanila.

“E, OA. Hindi ka yayaman sa ginagawa mo, Win,” sabi sa akin ni Calvin. “Tara na!” dagdag niya pa.

“Girl, tara na! Mamaya na ’yan. Oras na ng pagkain, oh!” reklamo naman ni Amanda.

“Sige na. Susunod ako. Promise!” I even raised my hand to show them I promised.

“Susunod ka, ah?” Amanda asked again, to which I answed by nodding.

Nang makaalis sila ay nag-mistulang silent sanctum ang palapag namin. Ingay lang nang pagtitipa ko sa keyboard ang siyang naririnig. Saglit na lang naman ito kaya makakasunod na rin ako sa kanila. Besides, gusto ko lang mayari ang parte na ito nang mabawasan ang alalahanin ko.

I was about to close my laptop when someone spoke behind me, making me jump in fear.

“Akala mo ba ay mabuti ’yang ginagawa mo?”

“Warren! You scare the hell out of me! Muntikan na akong atakihin sa puso dahil sa ’yo!” reklamo ko sa kaniya. “What brings you here?” Agad din namang nawala ang kaba ko nang mapagtanto na sinadiya niya talagang puntahan ako ngayon.

He showed me what he had in his hand: a lunch bag. Nakangiti siya sa akin na para bang proud na proud sa hawak niya.

“Nainip ako sa condo kaya pinagluto kita ng lunch. Alam kong hindi ka pa nakain,” sambit niya.

“Aww, sweet naman,” nakanguso kong sabi sa kaniya.

Hindi na namamaga ang mukha niya dahil tatlong araw na rin naman ang nakakalipas simula noong nangyari ang insidente sa La Dolce Di Firenze. Medyo tuyo na rin ang mga bangas at tahi niya. Konting araw na lang ay makakabalik na rin ulit siya sa pagtatrabaho.

“I know a picnic groove near here. We should visit it. Mukhang stress na stress ka na sa ginagawa mo, ah? Sakto at nakakawala ng stress doon dahil sa sariwang hangin at lilim ng mga puno.”

That sounds great! Kailangan ko na ring mag-unwind dahil sa pinapagawa ni Sir Henry sa akin. Kapag talaga ako natanggal, idadamay ko talaga siya!

Lulan ng kotse ni Warren ay mabilis naming napuntahan ang sinasabi niyang picnic groove rito sa Riverside Valley. There were lots of leafy trees here that provided us shade and comfort from the sunlight. May ilan na nakatambay at nagpapahinga sa bermuda grass. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilan ang labi na ngumiti habang nililibot ng tingin ang buong lugar.

Naghanap kami ni Warren ng mape-p’westuhan. We settled under a huge tree. Warren started arranging the lunch boxes in front of me. Mas lalong lumapad ang ngiti ko nang makita ang niluto niyang pagkain para sa akin.

“Mobu tofu?” paninigurado ko.

Sinagot niya ako ng pagtango. Magaling si Wren magluto kaya alam kong masarap ang lasa nito. Walang pagsidlan ang saya ko habang pinapanood siya sa ginagawa. He gave me an empty bowl and a set of utensils. Akala ko ay tapos na siya ayusin ang mga ’yon nang ilabas niya mula sa lunch bag ang kimchi na nakalagay sa isang maliit na food keeper.

“Alam mo talaga ang mga paborito ko, ’ne?” nakangisi kong sambit sa kaniya. Kimchi is my ultimate favorite!

“Nabasa ko lang sa slambook mo dati. May crush ka pa nga sa akin noon!” pang-aasar niya.

“Hindi real! Never kaya kitang naging crush!” pang-aasar ko pa kahit na sa katunayan ay totoo ang mga sinabi ko. G’wapo si Warren, maasikaso, masipag, magaling magluto pero sa dami ng magagandang qualities niya, never talaga ako nahulog sa kaniya at alam kong alam niya ’yon. Mahal ko siya bilang kaibigan ko. He’s like a brother to me, and I know nothing will change that.

“Kain na tayo,” pag-aya niya sa akin. Siya na mismo ang naglagay ng tofu sa bowl na hawak ko. Sobrang swerte talaga ng tao na mamahalin ni Warren. Whoever you are, you’re one hell of a lucky person!

Sabay naming pinagsaluhan ang pagkain at hindi nga ako nagkakamali dahil sobrang sarap nito. We were sharing stories while eating. Knowing Wren, he’ll likely be bored at home recovering from his situation. Naibahagi niyang sa lunes ay babalik na siya sa trabaho. Sobrang sipag talaga nito.

Naunang nayari si Wren kumain kaysa sa akin. Nagpaalam pa siya na kukuhanin ang bottled water sa kotse dahil nakalimutan niya ito kaya naman niyari ko na ang pagkain. Inayos ko na rin ang mga baunan at ang lunch bag bago ako lumapit sa trunk ng malaking puno at sumandal dito.

“Grabe, busog. Sarap ng luto mo,” puri ko kay Wren nang makabalik siya. Ibinigay niya sa akin ang isang bottled water na hawak niya.

“P’wede na ba magtayo ng restaurant?” nakangiti niyang tanong. Naupo siya sa tabi ko at saka sumandal din sa trunk ng puno.

We were both gazing at the cloudy sky. Fresh air was hitting our bare skin. Para akong nasa paraiso ngayon.

“Naalala mo iyong pangarap natin dati?” I know this is random, but it brings back so many memories of our younger selves.

“Coffee-flower shop,” sagot niya sa akin.

“It might sound weird, but we actually came up with the idea of combining a coffee shop and a flower shop in one place. Hindi naman kasi imposible ’yon, ’di ba?” Totoo naman kasi! Applicable naman kasi ang plano namin na ’yon!

“Your fascination with flowers and my love for coffee led us to that business idea. Malay mo, one of these days ay matupad natin ang coffee-flower shop na ’yon!”

This time, hindi ko na napigilan pang lumingon sa kaniya. He didn’t bother to look at me. He continued gazing at the sky while a sweet smile remained on his lips.

“If it were to happen, what would you want to name the shop?” he asked.

“About that, I’ve already come up with a nice name!” nakangiti kong sabi sa kaniya at dahil doon ay nakuha ko ang buo niyang atensiyon.

“What is it?” he asked, looking at me with curiosity. His lips were suppressing a lot of joy; I knew he was eager to hear it.

“Warren’s Winflower Cafe.”

*

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🚩7: Ramen House

WIN

The moment I finished drafting the email, I read it carefully and then hit the send button. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik nang matapos. Nagawa ko pang mag-inat at saka ako sumandal sa aking office chair.

Ako na lang mag-isa ngayon sa loob ng office. OTY ako ng isang oras para lang mayari ang pinapagawang report ni Sir Henry. Ayaw ko namang iuwi sa bahay itong trabaho kaya ayos na rin dahil natapos ko na ito. Wala na akong iintindihin pa pag-uwi.

Hindi pa naman ganoon kadilim sa labas nang sumulyap ako sa glass wall. Napahilot ako sa sintido ko nang makaramdam ng kirot. Kakatutok ko siguro ’to sa screen ng laptop kaya ang sakit ng ulo ko. Pahinga lang ang katapat nito at mawawala na rin agad. Hanggang ngayon ay nag-uumapaw pa rin ang pagkainis ko sa matandang hukluban na ’yon. Mga tamad talaga ang nasa Designing Department kagaya niya! Kainis!

I packed my things and finally stood up. Kamuntikan pa akong matumba. Mabuti na lang at napahawak agad ako sa sandalan ng upuan kung hindi ay sasaluhin ako sa sahig.

“Damn,” napamura na ako nang kumirot na naman ang ulo ko. I think I’ll need meds when I get home. Baka mapunta pa sa trangkaso ito.

Bitbit ang maliit na bag at ang bouquet ng white tulips na galing kay Ren ay bumaba na rin ako ng ground floor. Wala ng kahit na sino. Ako na lang talaga ang nandito sa building.

Unti-unti ay sumibol ang ngiti ko nang matanaw ang isang pamilyar na kotse sa labas.

“Wren!” sigaw ko nang makalapit sa kotse niya. I saw him leaning against the wall.

“Tagal mo. Isang oras? Ano ba ’yang report na niyari mo? Who gave you that? Kakausapin ko bukas!” masungit niyang tanong.

“Sira,” usal ko sabay tapik sa braso niya.

“Kanina ka pa, ’no? Sorry at pinaghintay kita,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

“Hahayaan ba kitang umuwi mag-isa? Alam ko namang hindi ka susunduin ni Rendy.”

Kumunot ang noo ko sa mga sinabi niya. Sa pagkakatanda ko ay hindi ko nabahagi sa kaniya ang tungkol sa sinabi ni Ren.

“I saw the news online. Nasa Davao sila ngayon. Shooting ng series nila sa Outland adventure park,” walang kaamor-amor na sabi niya. “Ano ’yan? Galing sa kaniya?” He was pertaining to the flowers I was holding. Tumango ako sa kaniya.

“Monthsary namin bukas. Advanced gift niya.”

“Sabihin mo, pampalubag-loob dahil wala siya rito at nagpapakasaya sa Davao!” Tingnan mo ’to! Ang lakas pa mang-asar!

He walked toward his car and opened the door for me.

“Shooting ’yon. Hindi naman siya makakatanggi ro’n,” depensa ko para kay Ren. Sirang-sira na talaga ang imahe niya kay Warren noon pa lang.

Pumasok na ako sa kotse niya ngunit bago nito isara ang pinto ay humabol pa siya ng sasabihin.

“He will find a way if he wants to celebrate that monthsary with you, Win. Utot talaga siya.”

Mabilis siyang naglakad para pumasok at maupo sa driver’s seat. Once he was settled, he started the engine and looked at me. “Saan tayo?” he asked.

“Parang masarap ang ramen ngayon,” suhestiyon ko.

“May bagong bukas na ramen house malapit sa Blue Bean Café. Try natin,” nakangiti niyang sagot sa akin.

Hindi na ako sumagot pa sa kaniya. Kahit pang-aasar lang ay naapektuhan ako sa mga sinabi niya.

I rested my back against the seat and gazed at the beautiful horizon.

P’wede naman siya humabol ng biyahe bukas, ’di ba? Sana pinalipas niya muna ang gabi na ito bago sumunod sa cast. Kahit papaano sana ay nakapag-celebrate kaming dalawa!

Hay! Kung ano-ano na tuloy ang naiisip ko. Hindi ko alam pero hindi ko maiwasan ang hindi mainggit kay Francis dahil sa ngayon, mas marami pa silang oras ni Rendy na magkasama kesa sa amin. Nilalamon tuloy ako ng matinding selos.

My hand reached my phone inside my bag, and dialed Ren’s number. Ring lang nang ring pero hindi sinasagot. Baka busy lang siguro? Mamaya ko na lang tatawagan ulit.

Mas lalo tuloy kumirot ang ulo ko kakaisip. Nakakapraning pala talaga magkaroon ng artistang boyfriend, lalo na ganoon pa ang klase ng tao ang nakapaligid sa kaniya. May tiwala naman ako kay Ren pero kay Francis, hell-no! Ayusin muna niya ang ugali niya baka sakaling magkasundo kaming dalawa.

Isang malalim na buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan ko bago ibinalik ang phone sa loob ng bag.

“He will call you if he wants to. Hayaan mo siya.”

Isa pa ’tong si Warren! Lakas mang-asar, e!

“Napakarami niyang oras para tawagan ka. Huwag niyang idahilan na busy siya sa shooting. May nga break time ’yon every now and then kaya ’wag siyang imbento,” komento niya pa.

“You’re making me paranoid, Wren,” I said, and he laughed.

“Now you’re doubting him? Ngayon ka pa lang ba natauhan, Win?”

Sasapukin ko na talaga ang lalaking ’to!

“Ewan ko sa ’yo!” sagot ko na lang.

Hindi ko na pinatulan pa ang mga pang-aasar niya. Hinayaan ko lang siya magdadaldal hanggang sa marating namin ang ramen house na nabanggit niya kanina. Well, it was an open space. There are tables and chairs under largw umbrellas. May mga japanese lantern din. Sa gilid naroon ang counter kung saan umoorder.

“What you want? Spicy or not?” tanong sa akin ni Wren.

“Ayaw ko ng ma-anghang.” Alam niya namang hindi ako mahilig sa ma-anghang p’wera na lang sa kimchi. That is the only spicy food I love.

“Wait me here. Order lang ako,” sabi niya nang maihatid ako sa isang bakanteng table. Tumango ako sa kaniya bilang sagot.

I watched him order our food. Wala pa masiyadong tao ngayon kaya tahimik sa buong paligid. Umatake na naman ang kirot ng ulo ko kaya hindi ko napigilan na mapadukmo sa lamesa. Sa pagkakatanda ko ay may gamot pa ako sa bahay. Kailangan ko na talagang uminom ng isa dahil baka lumala pa itong sakit ng ulo ko.

I waited for Wren, and when I sensed his presence, I hurriedly sat with composure. Baka mahalata niya pang hindi maayos ang pakiramdam ko. Kilala ko ito, e. Una pang magiging paranoid sa akin.

“You okay?” he asked me.

“As always. Though inis pa rin ako kay Sir Henry,” komento ko nang makaupo si Wren sa harap ko.

“Honestly, dapat ay kinokompronta ang tao na ’yon. Napakaraming empleyado sa department nila tapos sayo pa pina-revise ang report na ’yon, e, hindi mo naman trabaho ’yon. Kakausapin ko talaga ang matandang ’yon.”

“Sira. Huwag na! Ang mahalaga ay nayari ko na ’yong pinapagawa niya. Huwag niya na lang ulitin dahil magrereklamo na talaga ako sa kaniya.” Knowing Warren, gagawin niya talaga ang sinabi niya. Bigla tuloy ako natakot. Ayaw ko namang magka-conflict sa trabaho kaya hangga’t maaari ay sumasabay lang ako sa agos kahit na minsan ay hindi maganda ang daloy nito.

Maya-maya pa ay dumating na ang order namin. Nagningning ang mga mata ko nang makita ang dalawang malaking bowl ng ramen. Napakaraming sahog sa ibabaw ng mga ito! Grabe lang!

We thanked the server before starting to eat our ramen. Masarap ang ramen na ’to at wala akong mapintas pero hindi ko alam, parang nawala bigla ang gana ko. May pagkakataon pa na naduduwal ako kaya humihinto ako panandalian sa pagkain. Baka mamaya ay masuka ako. Nakakahiya ’yon!

Hindi ko naubos ang pagkain ko. Halos nakalahati ko lang ito. Naramdaman kong tila ba mas bumigat ang nararamdaman ko. Mas kumirot ang aking magkabilang sintido. Nako! Mukhang magkakatrangkaso pa yata ako.

“You looked pale, Win. Ayos ka lang ba talaga?” Hindi na napigilan pa ni Warren ang tumayo para lumapit sa akin. Sinalat niya ang noo ko. “Ang init mo. Nakainom ka na ba ng gamot?”

Umiling ako sa kaniya. “Okay pa naman ako kanina.”

“Uwi na tayo? Kailangan mong uminom agad ng gamot dahil baka magtuloy ng trangkaso ’yang nararamdaman mo.” I could feel how concern he was to me. Sapat na ’yon para lumitaw ang ngiti sa labi ko.

Yumakap ako sa bewang niya. I rested my head on his hip. “Thank you, Wren,” I said.

He caressed my hair which brought a tickling sensation to me.

“Yariin mo na muna ang ramen mo. I can wait,” sambit ko sa kaniya.

“I’m good. Tara na’t umuwi na tayo.” Inalalayan niya akong makatayo hanggang sa marating namin ang kotse niya. He helped me get into the front seat.

I closed my eyes. Mas sumama na ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. Shet! Nausog yata ako ni Sir Henry!

Pinahinga ko ang sarili. Hindi ko na rin namalayan na nasa parking lot na kami ng Skyline Condominiums.

Inalalayan ako ni Warren palabas ng kotse niya. Nagsisirko-sirko na ngayon ang paningin ko. Dinaig ko pa ang uminom ng isang bote ng alak. Nausog talaga ako ni Sir Henry! Legit! May alsa-mangkukulam pala ang matanda!

“Naabala pa tuloy kita, Wren. Sorry,” usal ko sa taong umaakay sa akin patungo sa elevator.

“Hindi naman kita kayang tiisin hindi kagaya ng boyfriend mong kupal,” sabi niya. Hindi ko na siya pinatulan pa mga patutsada niya. Knowing Warren, he’s the number one hater of Rendy and I couldn’t blame him. Alam niya kasi lahat ng pinagdadaanan ko kay Ren.

“Hindi naman uuwi ngayon si Rendy, ’di ba? Makiki-sleep over muna ako sa unit niyo nang maasikaso kita,” sabi niya sa akin.

Lumitaw ang ngiti sa labi ko. “Mahal mo talaga ako, ’ne?”

“Ikaw lang naman ang hindi ako mahal.”

Pabiro ko siyang hinampas. Hindi ko na sinundan pa ang mga sinabi niya.

Nang makarating sa harap ng unit ko ay binuksan ko rin agad ito. Inalalayan ako ni Wren sa sala at maingat akong iniupo sa sofa.

“Hintayin mo ako. Ikukuha lang kita ng gamot sa unit ko,” paalam niya sa akin.

Nang maiwan ako mag-isa ay saka naman tumunog ang phone ko mula sa loob ng aking bag. I hurriedly took it out and answered Ren’s call.

“Hello. Nakauwi ka na?”

Naiwan ko ’yong bouquet niya sa kotse ni Warren.

“Yes. I’m already home. Kumusta? Kailan pala ang tapos ng shooting niyo? Kailan ka makakauwi?” I asked.

“Three days lang naman ito. After three days ay uuwi na rin ako. I just called to check on you. Kumain ka na?”

A genuine smile appeared to my lips. Ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam na inaalala niya ako kahit malayo ako sa kaniya.

“Yes po. Ikaw?”

“Yes. Kumain na kami ng buong team kanina sa isang kilalang resto dito. Minsan dadalhin kita dahil maganda ang ratings ko sa mga nalibutan namin. Hindi mo nga nilubayan ang isip ko. Hindi ka ba napapagod kakatakbo sa isip ko, Win?”

Naging mababaw ang luha ko dahil nakita ko na lang ang sarili na umiiyak. I wanted Ren’s hug during times like this, but it seems too impossible to happen. Naging kuntento na lang ako na pakinggan ang pagtawa niya sa kabilang linya.

Pinahid ko ang mga pisngi. I don’t have plans of telling him about my condition right now. Baka mag-hysterical pa siya kaya sasarilinin ko na lang ang nararamdaman.

“Sige na. Just enjoy the gala. Ingat lagi sa shooting. I love you.”

“Sige na. Mag-shoot na rin kami. See you soon! I love you.”

At least, hindi pa rin ako kinalimutan, ’di ba? Kaya tama na ang drama, Win. Tinawagan ka na ng boyfriend mo. Cheer up na! Smile.

Maya-maya rin ay dumating na si Warren. Inalalayan niya akong makatayo upang dalhin ako sa k’warto.

“Three days wala si Rendy dahil sa shooting nila,” bahagi ko kay Wren.

“Maigi. Hangga’t wala akong pasok ay masasamahan kita rito. Kahit naman nandito si Ren ay wala rin namang ambag ang tao na ’yon.” Basher talaga.

Nang maihiga niya ako sa kama ay nagpaalam siya para kumuha ng tubig sa kusina. Nang makabalik ay iniabot niya sa akin ang isang baso ng tubig at saka ang isang tableta ng gamot.

I thanked him before taking the meds. Nakakainis lang ang lagnat na ito dahil ngayon pa umeksena!

“You need to take meds every four hours. Mag-aalarm na lang ako para maka-inom ka on time. Magpahinga ka lang muna rito. Ikukuha kita ng basang bimpo para maibsan ang init ng katawan mo.”

Hindi ko na nagawa pang magpasalamat sa kaniya dahil agad din siyang lumabas ng k’warto. Naiwan akong mag-isa sa silid, puno ng mga ala-ala ni Warren ang isipan ko. Eveything just reminded me of him. Kung gaano siya kaasikaso at karesponsable. Nakakahiya man sabihin pero siya ang pumunan ng mga pagkukulang ni Rendy. Sa tuwing nai-invalidate lahat ng efforts ko para sa boyfriend at madalas mang hindi mapansin ni Rendy ito, si Warren ang siyang bumubuhay ng saya sa puso ko. Napakarami niya nang nagawa para sa akin na halos hindi ko na mabilang. Kung tutuusin ay napakalaki na ng utang ko sa kaniya.

Panandalian akong nakatulog. Nagising na lang ako nang maramdaman ang malamig na bimpo sa aking noo.

“Sorry. Naabala ko ang tulog mo.” Boses ’yon ni Warren. “Kaya mo bang bumangon para magbihis? Bibihisan kita para makapagpalit ka ng pantulog,” dagdag niya pa.

Inalalayan niya akong makabangon. Hilong-hilo pa rin ako. Hindi rin nakatulong ang pagkirot ng ulo ko. Malas talaga!

Nang maiupo ako ni Warren ay tinulungan niya rin akong tanggalin ang damit ko. He replaced it with a soft pajama terno. Dahil komportable naman na ako sa kaniya kagaya noong pinaliguan ko siya noong nakaraang araw ay hindi na ako nahiya na tanggalin ang pantalon ko sa harapan niya. He helped me wear my pajamas and tucked me to bed.

“Thank you, Wren,” I uttered.

Ibinalik niya ang bimpo sa noo ko. Hawak ang mga hinubad kong damit ay tumayo siya sa aking gilid.

“Call me if you need me. Nasa labas lang ako,” sabi niya sa akin.

“P’wedeng dito ka na lang, please?”

Silence fell between us. He just looked at me, as if considering whether to agree to my request.

Naupo siya sa gilid ko. “I will put these clothes in the laundry basket and I will be back here as soon as possible.”

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya. “Thank you,” sambit ko.

Ngumiti lang siya pabalik at pagkaraan ay umalis na rin siya ng silid.

Hinintay ko ang pagbabalik niya. When he entered the room, and sat beside me, that was when I felt at ease. I’m in good hands. Panatag ang puso ko dahil nandito na si Warren.

Yumakap ako sa bewang niya at ibinaon ko ang mukha ko sa kaniyang hita. He fixed the face towel on my forehead and caressed my hair.

I heard him humming. His voice soothed all my worries and agonies inside my head. Once in a while, I felt a sense of peace and solace. Nabanggit ko noon na s’werte ang taong mamahalin ni Warren pero sa puntong ito, ako muna ang tatamasa sa pagmamahal at pagkalinga niya. I am the lucky one.

Maayos ang naging tulog ko. Ginising ako ni Warren noong pumatak ang alas onse ng gabi at alas tres ng madaling araw para uminom ng gamot. Dahil sa pag-aasikaso niya ay naging mas mabuti ang pakiramdam ko ngayon.

Mas nauna akong nagising sa kaniya ngayong umaga. Katabi ko si Warren ngayon sa kama. He was facing me, and I had the privilege of gazing at his handsome face while he slept.

Napaka-amo ng mukha. Napakabusilak ng kalooban. Perfect package ba kumbaga!

Suddenly, his eyes slowly opened. I smiled at him and said, “Good morning.”

Ngumiti siya pabalik. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling better now. Thank you sa pag-aasikaso,” masigla kong sambit sa kaniya at saka siya niyakap nang mahigpit.

We remained in that position for a while. Sobrang nagpapasalamat ako kay Warren dahil hindi niya ako pinabayaan mag-isa. He’s a heaven-sent.

“Wait me here. Ipagluluto kita ng almusal,” sabi sa akin ni Warren nang makatayo siya.

I just nodded and watched him leave the room. Tatayo na sana ako upang buksan ang malaking bintana ng silid nang mapansin ko ang pagliwanag ng aking phone. Something important must have popped up on my phone screen.

Inabot ko iyon sa gilid ng kama at saka bumungad sa akin ang notification ng post ni Rendy sa Instagram. Out of curiousity, I opened it.

It was him and Francis, riding a zipline. They both looked happy together, which filled me with jealousy. Nag-zipline rin naman kami pero sa ibang adventure park nga lang. Nakakainggit na hindi niya man lang ako naipost noon pero si Francis ay halos ipangalandakan niya sa Instagram.

I was about to exit the app when I noticed something that severed the thread of hope in my heart.

I tried scrolling through his profile, looking for our pictures, but none of them appeared. Kahit iyong nga old photos namin ay wala rin. It’s either he set it private or deleted it.

Para saan? Para mas saktan ako?

*

Thank you for reading!

Kindly hit the vote button for me. Thank you ❤️

🚩8: Parking Area

WIN

In the span of three days, Wren has been the one who has taken care of me. Hindi niya ako pinabayaan kahit na lugmok na lugmok ako sa mga ginawa ni Rendy. After what he did on his Instragram, I didn’t receive a single message or call from him. Mas lalo akong napraning dahil doon. If it hadn’t been for Warren, who kept me sane, I would have probably lost my mind.

Lunes na ngayon at ngayong araw rin ang uwi ni Ren mula sa shooting nila sa Davao Outland Adventure park. Hindi tuloy ako makapag-focus sa trabaho dahil binabagabag pa rin ako ng mga nangyari.

Hindi na ako umasa na masusundo ako ni Rendy. Sumabay na lang ako kay Calvin dahil sa Skyline din naman siya nakatira.

“Red flag enjoyer ka talaga, ’ne?” sambit ni Calvin sa akin habang nagmamaneho.

“Ganito siguro talaga kapag napamahal ka na nang sobra sa partner mo,” sagot ko naman sa kaniya.

“Sus. E, ikaw? Mahal ka ba?” patutsada niya.

Umirap ako sa kaniya. “Hindi kami tatagal ng tatlong taon kung hindi niya ako mahal, Calv.” Epal na ’to! Umarangkada na naman ang mga side comments niya!

“Ekis talaga sa akin ang Rendy na ’yon. Mabuti pa ang best friend mo, e. Mahal na mahal ka.”

Nahinto ako sa mga sinabi niya. Totoo naman ang mga sinabi niya. Kitang-kita ko kung gaano kaasikaso at kabait si Warren sa akin. Minsan nga ay nahihiya na ako sa pagiging maasikaso niya. Kahit na hindi niya ako priority, patuloy niya pa rin akong pinagsisilbihan, minamahal.

“Loveable naman si Warren, ah? Bakit hindi na lang siya ang mahalin mo, Win?”

“Huwag kang issue, Calv! Magkapatid na ang turingan namin ni Warren sa isa’t isa kaya malabong mapunta sa mas malalim ang relasiyon naming dalawa. Hanggang doon lang kami. Huwag kang OA d’yan!” Ganiyan siya. Lagi niya akong pinagtutulakan kay Warren palibhasa saksi sila sa pagmamahal na pinakikita nito sa akin.

Nang makarating kami sa parking space at makapag-park ng sasakyan ni Calvin ay sabay din kaming lumabas. We took the elevator and went to our respective floors. Dahil mas mataas ang palapag ng unit ni Calvin ay mas nauna akong lumisan ng elevator.

“Thanks for the ride, Calvin!” sigaw ko sa kaniya bago magsara ang pinto ng elevator. Tinanguan niya lang ako bilang sagot.

Tinahak ko ang pasilyo patungo sa unit namin ni Ren. Nang makarating doon ay sumilip muna ako sa katabing unit. Wala pa si Warren.

Nang makapasok sa unit ay nagbihis lang ako bago naglinis ng buong bahay. Gusto ko ay malinis na madatnan ni Ren ang condo pag uwi niya. Nagluto na rin ako ng pagkain namin para sa dinner. Nang mayari ay naghain na rin ako sa dining table. When everything settled, I reviewed everything, and that was when a sigh of relief escaped my lips. Sana magustuhan ni Rendy ang mga inihanda ko para sa kaniya. Pinagluto ko siya ng paborito niyang bulalo.

I heard three loud knocks at the door. Halos mapatalon ako sa saya kaya dali-dali kong tinanggal ang apron upang magtungo roon.

“Hi. I miss you,” bati sa akin ni Ren. He was taking off his shoes at the front door.

“You probably have jetlag. Magpahinga ka muna sa sofa. Sobrang na-miss rin kita,” sambit ko saka yumakap sa kaniya.

I took his bag and guided him to the sofa. Nang maiupo ko siya ro’n ay mabilis kong inilagay sa k’warto ang mga gamit niya. I took the indoor slippers and gave it to him.

Habang pinagmamasdan ko siya ay nangangati na ang dila ko na magtanong sa kaniya patungkol sa kaniyang Instagram account pero mukhang hindi ito ang tamang panahon para ro’n kaya itinikom ko muna ang bibig.

He spread his arms and smiled at me. “Pa-charge.”

Napangiti ako ro’n. I walked toward him and let his arms wrap around me.

“I love you,” sabi niya.

“I love you too.” Nakakapanibago na sobrang lambing niya ngayon. May kailangan ba siya o ano?

“Kain na tayo?” I asked.

“May pupuntahan ako mamaya. Mag-papaalam lang ako sa ’yo.”

Kaya naman pala.

“You’re free to go. No worries, but I want you to eat first,” I said.

“It’s a celebration with the whole team because the release date of episode one of Boy Next Door is at 8 PM tonight. Baka doon na lang ako kumain.”

Sakit naman. Parang nabalewala lahat ng binuhos kong effort para sa pagluluto.

“Hindi rin naman ako magtatagal dito dahil kailangan kong pumunta doon before 8 PM. I just came here to see you and drop my things.”

Gusto ko siyang pigilan pero nagmistulang pipi ang bibig ko. Kahit naman pigilan ko siya ay hindi ako magtatagumpay. Baka akalain niyang pinipigilan ko siya sa mga pangarap niya.

“Sige. Ingat ka.” Ipit na ipit ang boses ko. Tangina naman kasi!

“Bihis lang ako,” paalam niya at saka nagtungo sa k’warto.

Bumuntong-hininga ako nang iwanan niya ako mag-isa. I keep myself together, fighting to keep any tears from escaping my eyes. Si iyakin naman, oh!

Pero ang sakit naman kasi mabalewala!

Nanatili akong nakatayo sa living room, hinihintay ang paglabas ni Rendy, at nang makalabas siya ay humalik lang ito sa pisngi ko at nagpaalam na. So, ganoon lang ’yon? Para lang akong istasyon ng tren. Dinaanan lang talaga? Ang lupet no’n!

To divert the heaviness in my heart, I found myself calling Wren and in just a split second, he answered.

“Nakauwi ka na? Sabay na tayo kumain. Nakakalungkot mag-isa. Nakakawalang gana. Dito ka na. Kain na tayo.” Ramdam na ramdam ko na ang mga luha na nagbabadiya. Para akong bata na inagawan ng laruan at naghahanap ng kakampi. Wala akong masasandalan at natatakot ako na baka matumba ako kung hindi ako gagawa ng paraan.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

The call ended. Pinunasan ko agad ang mga mata at pinakalma ang sarili.

Tatlong magkakasunod na katok sa pinto ang narinig ko bago ito bumukas. Bumungad sa akin ang maamong mukha ni Warren.

“It’s okay. I’m already here,” he said with a soothing voice.

Agad akong tumakbo papalapit sa kaniya at nang saluhin niya ang yakap ko ay doon bumuhos lahat ng lungkot na aking dinadala.

He caressed my back and said, “Hayaan mo lang pumatak hanggang sa maubos. Kagaya ng bagyo. Oras na masimut na ang kargang ulan ng ulap ay doon na sisilip ang haring araw. Kung meron man akong hihilingin ay sana mas mapabilis ang reyalisasiyon mo kay Rendy. Hindi mo deserve ang katulad niya, Win. Sinasayang mo lang ang sarili mo sa walang k’wentang tao.”

Kung sasagot ako ay hahaba lang ang usap naming dalawa kaya hindi na ako nagbitaw pa ng kahit na anong salita.

“Kailan ka kaya matututo?” sabi pa ni Warren.

Kinuha ko ang sarili sa kaniya at saka pinunasan ang mga pisngi. Sinamaan ko siya nang tingin.

“Ginusto ko naman ito kaya ayos lang.” Alam kong maiinis siya sa mga sinabi ko at hindi nga ako nagkamali. I saw him glaring at me.

“You always have a choice, Win, but you keep choosing that red flag!”

I let out a deep sigh. “Lalamig ang niluto kong bulalo. Mas maigi pa siguro kung ikakain na lang natin ito.”

Hinila ko si Warren patungo sa dining area. Napansin kong nagulat siya nang makita ang hain ng pagkain sa lamesa.

“Ni hindi man siya tumikhim ng niluto mo?” tanong niya kaya sinagot ko siya nang pag-iling.

“Sana magising ka na, Win.” Naupo na siya sa bangko at saka sumandok ng kanin. Nagsalin din siya ng sabaw at ulam sa maliit na mangkok at saka nag-umpisang kumain. “Ang sarap-sarap kaya ng luto mo!”

Bolero! Aaminin ko na mas naging magaan ang dinadala ko dahil sa presensiya ni Warren. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay hindi nasayang ang mga efforts ko.

Masaya naming pinagsaluhan ang pagkain na inihanda ko. Warren’s presence helped me feel that I was not alone. Nang umuwi siya at maiwan akong mag-isa ay muling nabalot ng katahimikan ang buong unit.

Nasa k’warto na ako, nakahiga sa kama nang makatanggap ako ng text mula kay Ren.

That made me question myself why? Kaya naman tinawagan ko siya pero hindi siya nasagot. I tried calling Sir Lex and he didn’t take long to answer.

“Yes? Kumusta?”

“Si Rendy po?” Maingay sa kabilang linya na para bang nasa bar sila.

“Nandito siya, kasama ko. Don’t worry. I will look after him for you.”

“Thank you, Sir. Totoo po bang sa inyo muna siya matutulog?”

“Ha? He didn’t tell me about it. Lasing na rin kasi ang boyfriend mo. Don’t worry. Ihahatid ko siya diyan sa condo mo para mas mapanatag ka.”

Nabunutan ako ng tinik sa mga sinabi ni Sir Lex. Miski ang manager niya ay hindi alam ang plano niyang hindi umuwi. Hindi ko alam kay Rendy kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isipan niya.

“Pasensiya na sa abala, Sir Lex. Enjoy the night. Thank you.” I ended the call.

So, this is how dating a celebrity feels like? Nakaka-praning nga. Tangina.

Napuyat na ako kakahintay kay Ren pero hindi siya umuwi. Umasa ako sa sinabi ni Sir Lex na ihahatid niya ito ngunit hindi naman nangyari.

Pumasok ako sa trabaho nang lutang at puyat. Napansin din nila Calvin at Amanda ang pagiging lutang ko. I didn’t share anything. Mas gusto ko na lang na sarilihin ang lahat.

Dahil nai-release na ang first episode ng Boy Next Door ay naging maingay ito sa iba’t ibang social media platforms. Mas nakilala ang tambalang Francis at Rendy o mas kilala bilang RenCis.

Suportado ko naman si Ren sa pangarap niya. I wouldn’t get tired of cheering him from the crowd. Just like these people who support him, it feels as though I’m not noticeable. Nakatira kami sa iisang bahay pero hindi kami nagkikita ro’n. We usually talk on the phone without seeing each other.

Ilang araw ang lumipas na ganoon ang setup naming dalawa. Naghihintay lang ako sa tawag niya, umaasa na gagawa siya ng paraan para makausap ako ngunit lagi lang akong bigo. Mas naging abala siya ngayon sa shooting na hindi na siya halos makauwi ng bahay.

One time, I received a call from him.

“Hindi kita ulit masusundo ngayon. May kailangan lang tapusin sa shooting. Ingat sa pag-uwi.”

Ni hindi niya na ako hinintay na makasagot sa kaniya. He ended the call like he was in a rush. Sino maloloko niya? I asked Sir Lex about their day off because I really wanted to spend time with Ren, but it turns out he has a shoot. What are you hiding from me, Ren? I need to find out.

Gabi na ngayon at kanina pa ako nakauwi mula sa trabaho. I wore jeans and a white top, paired with a black cardigan to keep me warm from the cold breeze.

I opened my GPS and tracked Ren through it. Huli ka!

Lumabas ako ng unit ko at dali-daling sumakay ng taxi. Nasa isang condominium building si Rendy. He was staying there for almost an hour.

Nagpasalamat ako sa driber at nagbayad sa kaniya. Mabilis akong nagtungo sa front desk.

“Excuse me,” pagkuha ko ng atensiyon doon sa babae. “May I know where’s the room of Francis Anderson?”

“Good evening, Sir. Room 203 po.”

Nagpasalamat ako sa kaniya bago sumakay ng elevator. Wala naman ibang pakay si Rendy rito kundi ang tao na ’yon. Mukhang happy-happy sila ngayon, ah? Tangina nila!

Lima kaming laman ng elevator ngayon. Nang bumukas ang pinto ay napatalon ako nang bumungad sa akin si Rendy at Francis na nag-uusap. Mabuti na lang at abala sila dahil hindi nila ako nakita. Napansin kong pumasok sila sa kabilang elevator paibaba kaya isiniksik ko muna ang sarili sa gilid nang hindi nila ako makita.

Dahil may bababa naman sa susunod na palapag ay sumabay ako ro’n. Nang makalabas ay nag-abang ako sa kabilang elevator. Marahil ay nakababa na sila ng parking lot. Kailangan kong humabol.

Pinagpipindot ko ang buton, madaling-madali na maabutan sila.

Nasa ikaapat akong palapag ngayon at nasa underground basement pa ang kalimitang parking space ng mga condo kaya sumakay ako at pinindot ang ground floor.

Luckily, when I arrived, I saw them inside a BMW. Mukhang abala sila sa pag-uusap. Mabuti na lang at naabutan ko sila.

The car moved, so did I. Nagtatakbo ako palabas upang pumara ng taxi.

“Makisundan mo sila, kuya,” sabi ko sa driber.

Kakasunod sa sasakyan ni Francis ay dinala kami nito sa isang bar. The name is Sound and Plays.

Nagpasalamat ako at nagbayad sa driber bago bumaba. I was carefully tailing them. I had planned this, which is why I brought a mask and a cap with me. Sinuot ko muna iyon bago nagpatuloy sa pagsunod sa kanila.

One wrong move, masusundan ko ang world war II! Babalatan ko talaga ang mukha mo Francis!

They settled at the bar counter, sat on the stools, and ordered their drinks. Dahil maraming tao ay naging kampante akong hindi nila ako mapapansin. Nakakarindi lang talaga sa lugar na ito. I’m not fond of going to places like this. I prefer spending time at the library rather than dancing on the dance floor with alcohol in my system. Baka maharas pa ako rito kaya auto pass!

“What do you want, Sir?” tanong sa akin noong lalaking bartender.

“May juice kayo? Iyon na lang, please.” I’m not here to get wasted. Baka kung iinom ako’y mapatay ko pa si Francis kaya huwag na lang.

“Lemon whisk could do, Sir. Mababa lang ang alcohol content nito, Sir. Wala na po kasi kaming ibang available na juice drink. Iyon lang po.”

“Hindi ako malalasing doon ah, kuya? Sige. Isa lang. Thanks.”

Napansin kong may mga nagpapa-picture sa kanila. They were being extra sweet to each other. Kailangan kasi iyon para mas lumaki ang fandom nila pero sa totoo lang, nagseselos ako. Who wouldn’t feel jealous seeing your man being so sweet and nice to someone you hate to the core? Makayakap siya kay Rendy ay wagas. Sarap tampalin ng kamay niyang nakapalibot sa bewang ng boyfriend ko.

“Sir, enjoy your drink,” the bartender said and gave me my drink.

Bahagya kong itinaas ang mask ko upang tumikhim. May kaunting pait ngunit dominante pa rin ang tamis nito. Good! Sarap!

Naging maayos ang mga sumunod na oras. Napaparami na ang naiinom nila at halos maubos ko rin ang sa akin. It was getting hot in here. Marahil epekto ng alak kaya ganito ang pakiramdam ko.

Francis pulled Ren. Mukhang papunta sila sa dance floor.

People cheered them on, hyping them up as they danced to the punk music.

Sumunod ako sa kanila, dumistansiya ngunit siniguradong tanaw pa rin sila ng aking mga mata. What I was doing might seem creepy, but I wanted to prove something. Gusto kong mapatunayan na pinanghahawakan pa rin ni Rendy ang pangako niya sa akin. Gusto kong pagtibayin ang tiwala ko sa kaniya. Don’t fail me, Ren.

They were getting intense. I could feel it. Halos maglapat na ang labi nila. Their bodies were getting closer and closer, invading their personal space.

Para akong tanga na nakamasid sa kanila. My heart was racing so fast. Parang kumuha ako ng bato na inihahampas ko sa sariling ulo. Don’t kiss him, Ren. Nandito ako. Huwag mong gawin ’to.

People shouted in chorus, urging them to kiss. Tangina niyo!

Akala ko ay tuluyan nang guguho ang mundo ko. Ren pulled Francis out of the crowd. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa tagiliran.

They made their way out of the bar. Nakasunod lang ako. I was carefully tailing behind them.

Nakita kong pumasok sila sa BMW. The parking space was dim, but thanks to a distant light, I could see Rendy and Francis inside the tinted car.

That was when I felt the pang in my chest. I saw them getting undressed inside the car. Para silang mga gutom na gutom na leon, sabik na sabik sa labi ng isa’t isa.

W

hat happened to your promise, Ren?

Tears started to fall. Kitang-kita ko kung paano nila dungisan ang isa’t isa. Francis was going down there. They were completely unaware of my presence.

“Tangina niyo!” bulong ko sa hangin.

I looked for a large stone. Once I found one, I picked it up, walked over to the BMW, and smashed the hood.

Pinaghahampas ko iyon. Ibinuhos ko lahat ng aking lakas sa bawat pagbayo. Patuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak, dinaramdam ang nasirang tiwala.

Yupi-yupi na ang hood ng kotse ng lumabas silang dalawa. They were both topless. Hindi pa nga naibalik nang maayos ni Rendy ang sinturon niya.

When our eyes met, I could see horror in his eyes.

Naghahalo na ang uhog at luha ko. Ibinato ko ang malaking bato sa harapan nila.

“What the fuck?!” sigaw ni Francis.

Hindi ko siya pinansin. Nakatuon lang kay Rendy ang aking atensiyon. I didn’t dare to break our eye contact. Slowly, I let my lips to project a playful smile.

“Kasama rin ba ito sa shooting niyong dalawa?” sambit ko. I want them to know that I witnessed everything.

“Tangina mong kang ahas ka!” sigaw ko at saka sumugod kay Francis. I know this will cause commotion but I really wanted to avenge for my heart. Hindi ako hihinto hanggat hindi ko nasisira ang mukha ng ahas na ito!

*

🚩9: Abandoned Playground

WIN

Nang mahagip ng kamay ko ang leeg niya ay binuhos ko ang lakas ko upang sakalin siya. He was quick enough to hold my neck as well. Parehas namin sakal-sakal ang isa’t isa.

“Ano pakiramdam tikman ang pagmamay-ari ng iba?” singhal ko sa kaniya, puno ng galit ang bawat salitang binitawan.

“Win! Itigil mo na ito!” sigaw naman sa akin ni Rendy habang pilit kaming pinaghihiwalay.

“Stop being such a fool, Ren! Nangangati ka pala, sa iba ka pa nagpakamot!” I know my anger was the one controlling me. Gusto ko lang hayaan ang sarili na ilabas ang lahat. Sa tatlong taon na pagsasama namin ay lagi ko lang sinasarili lahat ng pasakit na hatid niya. Oras na siguro upang pakawalan ko ito. Masiyado nang mabigat. Hirap na hirap na ako pasanin lahat.

Suddenly, Francis threw a strong punch. Tinamaan ako sa sikmura dahilan upang mabitawan ko siya.

I grabbed the chance to wipe away my tears. Bakit ba iyak pa rin ako nang iyak? I was crying over someone I love, but who isn’t showing me any concern. Tangina. Bakit ngayon ko lang naisip na ang tanga-tanga ko pala kay Rendy?

Mahal mo siya. Sobra-sobra.

Fuck this heart! Masiyado nang masakit!

“I trusted you!” sigaw ko kay Ren. Muling umalpas ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. Thinking back on all my sacrifices for Ren, it feels like they were all wasted because of one night of mistakes.

“Sino ka ba para pagkaabalahan niya? You’re nothing but an office guy, Win! Accept the fact na mas bagay kami ni Rendy! Wake up!” sambit ni Francis sa akin.

It ignited my anger even more. Sumugod akong muli pero humarang si Ren upang protektahan siya.

“And now you’re choosing him over me, Ren?” Those words almost came out as whisper. I was afraid to ask him, knowing his answer would hit me with the harsh reality.

“Stop this commotion, Win,” he said firmly.

Natawa ako. “After finding out that he’s sucking my boyfriend’s dick? Tangina, Ren? Gusto mong ihinto ko ito?” I didn’t hesitate to try grabbing Francis from behind. Hindi ko siya maabot dahil pinipigilan ako ni Rendy.

“Tone down your voice! Hindi lang tayo ang tao rito!” Ren said through gritted teeth.

“Nahihiya kang malaman ng iba ang kababuyan niyo? Tell me, did you even think of me when you both got into this car? Hindi mo ba naisip ang maaaring maramdaman ko, Ren?” Patuloy lang sa paglagaslas ang mga luha ko. Sobrang sakit na sa tuwing ipinipikit ko ang aking mga mata ay naaalala ko ang mga anino nila sa loob ng kotse.

“You should leave!” kalmadong sabi sa akin ni Rendy.

“I’m not leaving without you.” I might sound pathetic, but I couldn’t stand the idea of them being together. After what happened, I fear he might leave me. Hindi ko kakayanin. Siya na halos ang naging mundo ko. Sa loob ng tatlong taon, sobrang napamahal na sa akin si Ren. Galit ako ngayon pero hindi ibig sabihin noon na hindi ko na siya mahal. Even though he made a mistake, I could still accept him.

“I’m not coming with you, Win.” His words cut like a knife. He’s choosing Francis over me.

Sinubukan kong yakapin siya pero tinulak niya lang ako dahilan upang mapaupo ako sa sahig.

“I’m not coming home tonight. Umuwi ka na.”

Hindi ko na nagawa pang magsalita. Umurong ang dila ko dahil sa mga narinig. After what he did, he still chose Francis over me. He didn’t even consider how I would feel. Para akong binagsakan ng kalangitan. I was lost and didn’t know which way to choose.

Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo. Bahagya pang makirot ang sikmura ko dahil sa natamong suntok mula kay Francis. People were starting to gather around us, with some taking videos.

Tumango-tango ako kay Ren. “Choose whatever makes you happy.” I hope those words would touch his heart. Kung uuwi siya ngayon, isa lang ang ibig sabihin noon, na ako pa rin ang pinipili niya pero kung mas gugustuhin niyang makipaglandian kay Francis ay wala na akong magagawa kundi tanggapin ang reyalidad. Mukhang tama nga sila, I’m a red flag enjoyer.

Tumalikod na ako at binaybay ang tahimik na kalsada. I was unaware of the cars. Muntikan pa akong masagasaan. Nang makaliban sa kabilang panig ng kalsada ay nagtatakbo ako sa ilalim ng mga puno. There were no source of light, just the moon above.

Takbo lang ako nang takbo hanggang sa makaramdam ako nang pagod. Napaluhod ako sa damuhan at doon ko sinalo ang mga pisngi, kasabay ng paglagaslas ng mga luha sa mga ito.

“Warren,” bulong ko. I wanted to call him but didn’t want to disturb him. Ni hindi ko na rin alam kung nasaan ako. I was lost and clueless in the middle of the forest. I yearned for a beast to emerge from the shadows and end my suffering. Pakiramdam ko ay wala nang patutunguhan ang buhay kong ito.

Pinilit kong tumayo. Bumalik akong muli sa paglalakad hanggang sa mapadpad ako sa isang abandonadong palaruan. Mukhang napaglipasan na rin ng panahon ang lugar na ito. Every piece of steel seemed rusty and neglected.

I sat on a swing. Doon ko iniyak lahat ng sakit. Pakiramdam ko ay hiniwalayan na ako ni Rendy. Choosing Francis over me was a clear statement that he valued him than our relationship. Is the three years over? Dumating na ba ang araw na kinakatakutan ko?

I felt a cold steel pressed against my neck.

“Huwag ka nang lumaban. Ibigay mo lang ang wallet at cellphone mo. Hindi ka namin sasaktan.”

Napalingon ako doon sa lalaking may hawak ng patalim. Dalawa sila. Both of them were wearing caps and masks. Biruin mo nga naman, na-hold up pa ako? Napaka-s’werte ko naman.

“Wala kayong pinipili, ’no?” pabalang kong sambit sa kanila. Hindi yata nila alam na may pinagdadaanan ako. Tanginang mga ’to!

“Huwag ka nang madaldal! Ilabas mo ang mga kailangan namin nang hindi ka na masaktan pa!” sigaw naman ng isa.

“Edi saktan niyo!” sagot ko.

“E, kung saksakin kaya kita riyan!” sabi noong lalaking may hawak ng patalim.

“Hindi kita pinipigilan. Isaksak mo na! Iniisip ko lang kung pupunta kaya si Ren sa burol ko? Sige na. Gawin mo na. Kung iiwanan niya lang ako, mas gusto ko na ring mamatay.” Sino ang tinakot nila? Ako? Hindi ako takot!

“Tangina! Ang daldal mo! Ilabas mo na ang mga kailangan namin nang makaalis na kami! Wala naman kaming balak na patayin ka!” iritableng sigaw sa akin noong isang lalaki.

“One wrong move, I’ll shoot you!”

Mabilis silang nag-alpasan nang marinig ang sigaw na ’yon. When I turned my head, I saw Warren holding a gun. Mga tangang holdaper, kutsilyo lang ang dala? Edi wala silang laban sa baril? Mga tanga.

Nang makaalis ang mga tanga ay siya namang paglapit ni Warren. Yumuko siya sa akin upang tingnan kung maayos lang ba ako.

“Tell me you’re okay!” sabi niya sa akin, alalang-alala.

Niyakap ko siya. Na-ON na naman ang luha ko dahil bumuhos na naman ito. I was relieved that Wren was here. He didn’t just save me from harm; he also helped me through my suicidal thoughts.

“Thank you for coming even if I didn’t ask you to,” bulong ko sa kaniya.

“Sa sobrang pag-aalala ko sa ’yo ay sinundan na kita. Tell me, sinaktan ka ba nila?”

Humiwalay ako sa kaniya nang pagkakayakap. I shook my head. “Kanina ka pa ba nakabuntot sa akin?”

“I’m sorry for witnessing everything,” he said, apologizing.

Napayuko ako. I looked at my trembling hands as tears began to fall.

“Ang sakit, Wren.” Hindi ko magawang pigilan ang sarili sa pag-iyak. Sobra ang panlulumo ko sa mga nangyari sa amin ni Rendy. Para akong itinulak sa isang hukay at binaon ng buhay.

“Ngayon mo sabihin sa aking mahal mo pa rin siya,” he challenged me.

“Mahal ko pa rin pero sobrang sakit na, Wren. Hindi ko na kaya.” This is the first time I’ve felt like giving up on my relationship with Rendy. Noon, babae ang naging kaagaw ko sa kaniya. Iyong babae na nakasama niya sa commercial shoot na nakapalagayan niya ng loob. I accepted my defeat. Babae ’yon, e. Anong laban ko ro’n. Pinili lang ako ni Ren kaya nagpatuloy kami sa relasiyong ito.

Ngayon ay si Francis naman ang umeksena. Katulad ko pang bisexual kaya malaking sampal sa mukha ko kung anong pagkukulang ko? Masiyado ba akong mahigpit? Masiyado bang maluwag? Nasakal ba siya? Na-boring? Hindi ko alam. Lahat naman kasi ng ginawa ko ay iyong alam kong hindi ikasasama ng loob niya.

Lagi na nga akong nagtitiis. Lagi kong pinatatawad ang mga pagkakamali niya. Patuloy ko na lang din gina-gaslight ang sarili sa mga bagay-bagay kahit na sa katunayan ay sobra na ang pagsasakripisiyo ko. Napakasakit lang na hindi pa rin pala sapat ang lahat ng pagmamahal ko sa kaniya sa puntong nakuha niya pang humanap ng iba.

“Let me bring you home,” sabi sa akin ni Warren.

“Home is not home without Ren. Kung uuwi ako ay maaalala ko lang siya.” Warren didn’t respond to what I had said. Kaya nagsalita akong muli. “Can I request one thing?”

“What you want?” he asked.

“Parang gusto kong uminom ngayon. Can you bring me to a pub. Gusto kong magpakalango sa alak nang makalimot panandalian. I want to flirt with someone, to make out like what Ren did. I wonder if he would feel the same way as I do.”

“If that’s what you want, I can arrange it. I know a decent pub around Riverside Valley.” Wren offered his hand, and I accepted.

“Thank you, Wren,” I said as tears streamed down my cheeks.

*

We went into The Tipsy Tavern. Pinuno ko ng alak ang sikmura ko. My vision was spinning, but it made me feel at ease. It was like riding a merry-go-round, with joy filling my heart. Tawa lang ako nang tawa.

I pulled Warren onto the dance floor. Nagtatalon ako sa saliw ng masayang musika. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang nangyayari sa paligid ko. I just want to have fun.

Sa hilo ko ay nawalan ako ng balanse. I thought the dance floor would catch me if I fell, but a pair of hands reached out and caught me.

Nag-aagaw na ang antok ko at kamalayan. My sight were getting blurry. Hilong-hilo na ako.

Suddenly, I saw his lips. Sobrang pula nito at nakakahalina halikan. The person who caught me had lips that were very kissable.

Gusto kong gawin ang ginawa ni Ren sa akin. I wanted him to taste his own medicine. Masasaktan din kaya siya kagaya ng naramdaman ko? Magseselos? Magagalit? Would he feel the same as I did?

Those thoughts drove me to kiss him, even though I had no idea who he was. I just wanted to avenge my broken heart, so I followed my impulse.

I drew my face closer to him and let our lips meet. Sobrang lambot nito. Sobrang sarap halikan.

I wanted to see his face, just to thank him for that one-of-a-kind kiss after being faithful to a man who didn’t appreciate me. My system was nearing shutdown; I felt like I was being lulled into dizziness. All I wanted was to sleep and let the rest become history. I knew Warren was with me and wouldn’t let me down, so I allowed myself to drift off.

The next morning, I woke up with a hangover and realized I wasn’t in my unit—I was in Warren’s.

*

Sana kayo na lang ni Warren. 🥹

Thanks for reading!

🔞10: Shower Area

WIN

Hindi na ako nakapasok pa sa trabaho dahil anong oras na rin ako nagising. Pati si Warren ay nadamay ko na. Napaliban pa tuloy siya dahil sa akin.

“Good morning.”

Napalingon ako sa pintuan at doon ko nakita si Warren na nakatayo. He wore an apron, leaning his shoulders against the door frame.

“I made a broth soup to counter your hangover. Tara na,” sabi niya sa akin at saka ako nilapitan. “Cry baby, Win,” nakangiti niya pang asar sa akin nang makaupo sa gilid ko.

Bumalik na naman tuloy ang mga nangyari kagabi. Parang sinasaksak ang dibdib ko habang inaalala ang anino ni Francis at Rendy sa loob ng kotse.

“Later on, maiisip niya ring mali ang ginawa niya. Hayaan mo siyang patayin ng konsensiya niya. Tara na.” Tinulungan niya akong tumayo. Hindi ko talaga gusto ang hangover dahil sobrang kirot sa ulo nito. Nakalimot nga ako kagabi pero ano namang gagawin ko ngayon para makatakas sa reyalidad? Maglaslas?

Nang makaupo sa dining table ay ikinuha ako ni Warren ng broth soup. Inilapag niya ang mangkok sa harap ko at saka niya inokupa ang upuan sa aking gilid.

“BL fans are going crazy. The first episode of Boy Next Door was a hit. Rendy and Francis are making waves online. Mukhang magiging daan ’to ng pagsikat niya,” sambit ni Warren sa akin.

“I hope no one spreads our confrontation from last night. It might be the reason his popularity gets affected,” usal ko pagkatapos ng isang malalim na buntong-hininga.

“Yayakapin mo pa rin ba ang mga pagkakamali niya kahit sobra na?”

Para akong sinampal ng mga salitang binitawan niya. Mahal ko pa, mahal na mahal.

Napayuko ako. I closed my eyes as tears began to well up. Kaaga-aga ay iiyak na naman ako.

“Prepare yourself, Win. Rendy won’t hesitate to choose his career over you. Mas magandang ihanda mo na ang sarili para kapag nangyari na ay hindi ganoon kasakit ang epekto nito sa ’yo.”

Tama naman siya. Tanggap ko naman na hindi ako ang end game ni Rendy. Una pa lang, sa dami ng napagdaanan kong pasakit sa kaniya, may mga pagkakataon na sumasagi sa isipan kong hindi kami aabot ng mas marami pang taon dahil mas mahalaga ang career niya kaysa sa akin. Sa tingin ko’y hindi lang ganoon kadaling iproseso ang lahat sa akin ngayon. Kakain ng napakahabang panahon para matanggap ko na unti-unti nang gumuguho ang binuo kong pundasiyon sa relasiyon naming dalawa. Kahit anong ganda at tibay ng pagkakabuo ko, meron at meron pa rin talagang sisira nito.

Nang maubos ko ang isang mangkok na broth soup ay nagpasalamat ako kay Warren.

“Uuwi na muna ako. Thank you sa pag-asikaso mo sa akin,” nakangiti kong sabi sa kaniya.

Pagkalabas ko sa unit niya ay napansin kong may pares ng sapatos sa harapan ng unit ko. Nandito si Ren. Umuwi siya. Ibig sabihin lang noon na ako pa rin ang pinili niya!

Hindi na ako kumatok pa sa pinto dahil atat akong pumasok. Sobrang saya ng puso ko dahil sa nakita.

Nahinto ako sa pagtakbo nang makita ko siya sa mahabang sofa, tulog na tulog.

Dahan-dahan ay lumapit ako sa kaniya. Naupo ako sa kaniyang gilid at pinagmasdan ang napakagwapo niyang mukha. I wanted to trace his features, to nurture the moment where I found him at peace, but I didn’t want to disturb him. Sapat na sa akin umuwi siya para balikan ako. Kahit na gaano kalaki ang pagkakamaling nagawa niya, masaya akong ako pa rin ang pinili niya sa dulo. Handa naman akong tanggapin siya.

Hindi ko namalayan ang pagpatak ng luha mula sa aking mga mata. Pinunasan ko agad ito. Maybe it was happiness that triggered my tears to fall. Ako pa rin ang mahal niya. Sapat na ’yon upang magpatuloy.

Nagulat ako nang unti-unting magmulat siya ng mga mata.

“Nagising ba kita? Sorry,” hingi kong paumanhin.

Hindi siya sumagot sa akin. He stared at me for a moment. Bumangon siya mula sa pagkakahiga at saka ako iniwan sa kinalulugaran.

Tumayo ako at sumunod sa kaniya sa k’warto. Pinagmasdan ko lang siya sa mga ginagawa. Kinuha niya ang tuwalya sa loob ng cabinet at saka nagtungo sa baño.

Luckily, he didn’t lock the door, so I made my way inside. Nakahiwalay naman kasi ang shower area kaya maaari akong manatili sa labas nito.

Kita ko ang anino niya sa makapal na salamin ng dibisiyon nito. I sat down on the cold tiled floor and hugged my knees. I didn’t say anything; I just liked the idea of Ren being home with me.

Matiyaga akong naghintay sa kaniya. Hindi ako tumayo nang lumabas siya sa shower na may nakabalot na tuwalya sa kaniyang bewang.

Hindi siya agad lumabas. He stood in front of the vanity mirror, took his automatic shaving tool and shaved his bear.

Tumayo ako at niyakap siya mula sa likod. Naramdaman kong napahinto siya. Doon umalpas ang mga luha ko.

“Sorry, Ren,” sambit ko. “Sorry sa mga nasabi ko kagabi.” Pero hindi siya nagsalita.

Tinanggal niya ang mga kamay kong nakayakap sa kaniya at saka humarap sa akin. He studied me from head to toe, then he aggresively pinned me to the wall.

Lumandas ang mainit niyang halik sa aking leeg dahilan para mapaungol ako. The tickling sensation was enough to arouse my desire.

He tore my shirt apart. Nang masira ’yon ay pinaulanan niya ako ng kaniyang mga halik. Nilibot niya ang bawat parte ng katawan ko. He slowly removed my belt, and when he did, he immediately pulled down my trousers.

Natanggal niya na lahat ng saplot sa aking katawan. I felt a sudden heat on my cheeks. Slowly, he removed the towel that covered his manhood.

Napasinghap ako nang makita ’yon. The way it was erecting angrily made me question my capacity. Kakayanin ko ba? Last time we had sex, I bled.

He didn’t say a word, he just grabbed my head and forced me to kneel down. I held his thing and stared at it for a while. It was slightly curved upward with veins in various areas. It was so thick, properly trimmed, and alluringly beautiful that it seemed almost too perfect.

I began playing his manhood, giving pleasure by my mouth. It was freely going in and out of my mouth as my tounge carefully playing with its head.

He pulled me up and dragged me into the shower area. He turned on the water, startling me with the coldness against my skin.

Itinalikod niya ako sa pader. He held my hand and placed it behind me, making sure I couldn’t move to back away.

I felt a soft thing inside my hole. His tounge was making wanders around it. Hindi ko na napigilan pang mapamura.

He stood up and started putting his manhood slowly inside me. Nasasaktan ako sa higpit ng hawak niya sa mga kamay ko. It was as if I would run away and leave.

The drizzle kept pouring onto our skin. I was uncomfortable with our position. When I felt his whole thing inside me, he began to move. Naramdaman ko ang kamay niyang nakasabunot sa aking buhok. It made me feel uncomfortable. Lalo na noong sinakal niya ako.

He was enjoying himself with so much pleasure, but I was the one who felt uncomfortable.

“Nasasaktan ako, Ren,” bulong ko sa kaniya ngunit hindi siya nakinig.

He pulled his thing from me and forcefully laid me on the cold tiles. Mabilis niyang ipinasok ang pagkalalaki niya sa akin dahilan para mapamura ako. He’s not being gentle. Nasasaktan na ako.

The drizzle was hitting my face. His hands wrapped around my neck, making it hard for me to breathe.

“Ren.” It came out almost a whisper.

Pinakawalan niya ang leeg ko ngunit nakuha niya akong pagsasampalin ng ilang ulit. He was being abusive. Hindi siya ganito bagay na ipinagtataka ko. Kulang na lang ay patayin niya ako. Parang hindi siya ang Rendy na boyfriend ko.

He slapped me once more and agressively planted kisses on me. Hawak niya ang leeg ko habang pabigat nang pabigat ang pagbayo niya sa akin. Alam kong malapit na siya. His breaths were deep and long until he moaned with so much pleasure.

Slowly, he pulled his thing from me. Ni hindi niya ako tinulungang tumayo. He hurriedly washed himself with soap and went out of the shower area, leaving me alone.

I felt humilated, wasted and abused. Parang ginamit lang ako para iraos ang init ng katawan niya. He didn’t do it out of love. He made it out of lust and it was so painful.

My tears were blended with water making it easier for me to hide my uncertainty. Tangina. Para akong tissue na pagkatapos gamitin, pagsingahan ay itatapon na lang sa kawalan.

I cut the drama. Walang mangyayari kung mag-eemo ako rito.

I stood up and took a bath. Ni wala akong tuwalya sa loob ng baño kaya lumabas akong basang-basa.

Naabutan ko si Rendy sa kwarto, nag-aayos ng sarili niya. He didn’t bother to look at me. Parang wala lang nangyari.

Nagtungo ako sa cabinet at saka kumuha ng tuwalya. I dried myself, wore comfortable clothes and faced Ren.

“Aalis ka?” I asked but he didn’t answer.

Nang mayari siya ay lumabas siya ng k’warto. Nakasunod lang ako sa kaniya. Hindi niya ako pinapansin.

“Saan ka pupunta?” I asked him the moment he stood at the exit. Huminto siya at humarap sa akin ngunit hindi siya nagsalita. Just like that, he left. Masama pa rin ba ang loob niya? Hindi ba dapat ako ang sumama ang loob dahil sa mga ginawa niya?

I let out a sigh. Pagod na ang sarili ko kakaisip. Gusto ko munang magpahinga.

Ibinato ko ang sarili sa sofa kung saan siya natutulog kanina. Muli na namang bumuhos ang luha ko. He’s near yet so far. Parang unti-unti na siyang bumibitaw sa kapit ko. Siguro naging masama ako sa past life ko para danasin lahat ng ito ngayon. The version of me who lived before did devilish things, and I am the one who received the karma. Tangina. Gusto ko lang naman ang mahalin ako pabalik, pero bakit mas trip akong saktan ng kapalaran?

I embraced myself and let myself fall asleep.

Lumipas ang mga araw na hindi pa rin ako pumapasok sa trabaho. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko kayang humarap sa mga katrabaho ko dahil sa mga pinagdadaanan. Naging mailap sa akin si Ren. Pinangatawanan niya ang hindi pagkausap sa akin. He rarely go home. Hindi na rin siya dito natutulog. Ilang beses niya na ring binalewala ang mga hinanda kong pagkain sa kaniya. Grabe naman ang mga parusang nararanasan ko.

Biyernes ngayon, alas sais y media na. Nakarinig ako ng katok mula sa pinto kaya nagtatakbo ako upang pumunta ro’n, nagbabaka sakaling si Rendy ang nasa kabilang panig nito ngunit nagkamali ako.

“Kumusta, girl?” tanong sa akin ni Amanda. She’s with Calvin. May hawak silang kahon ng pizza at bottled of soda.

“Ayos lang naman. Pasok kayo,” sabi ko sa kanila.

Pinatuloy ko sila sa living room. I could see concern in their eyes.

“Magaling ka na sa trangkaso mo, hindi ba? Bakit absent ka na naman? Napakatagal mo nang hindi pumapasok, Win,” malungkot na sabi ni Amanda sa akin.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya. “May problema lang dito sa bahay.”

“Pumayat ka, Win. Pinababayaan mo ba ang sarili mo?” Calvin asked me. “Nasa pang apat lang akong palapag, Win. You can call me if you need a companion. Hindi iyong sinosolo mo ang lahat!”

“Sorry, guys.” I was too weak for this. Nararamdaman ko na naman ang pagbad’ya ng luha ko.

“Is it because of Ren?” Amanda asked me. I didn’t answer.

“Bakit ba kasi hindi mo pa hiwalayan ang toxic na ’yon, Win?!” halos pasigaw na sabi sa akin ni Calvin. “Napapabayaan mo na ang sarili mo dahil sa kaniya!” dagdag niya pa.

“You know the consequences of dating a celebrity, but Win, Rendy is such a dickhead! Wala kang mapapala sa tanginang ’yon!” Napapamura na si Amanda sa inis niya. She was the prim and proper princess and she rarely say bad words.

“I know you are both concern to me, but Ren is my partner. Whatever my decision, please, respect it,” sabi ko sa kanila.

“And let you suffer? No, Win!” sagot agad ni Amanda.

“Nagmumukmok ka rito habang nagpapakasaya si Rendy sa mga guesting nila ni Francis sa iba’t ibang talk show. Do you think we’ll agree with your nonsense? Win, I think it’s time for you to wake up,” bulalas naman sa akin ni Calvin.

“Mahal ko pa,” pabulong kong sambit sa kanila.

“Kaya nga kailangan mo nang turuan ang sariling hindi mahalin siya. Sa tingin mo ba ay naiisip ka niya? Buhay binata kaya siya. Ni hindi niya man naisip ang mararamdaman mo. Ren, sometimes, we need to make bad choices to free ourselves from pain. Hindi ka magiging masaya kung ikukulong mo ang sarili mo sa pagmamahal na meron ka para sa kaniya,” paliwanag sa akin ni Amanda.

I appreciated them. Concern lang sila sa akin. Alam kong nakakita ako ng kaibigan sa katauhan nilang dalawa pero sa tingin ko’y mahirap sundin ang mga payo nila lalo na at hindi pa ako handa.

We spent the remaining time catching up with each other. Kailangan ko na ring bumalik sa trabaho dahil nanganganib na ako. Maselan pa naman ang kumpanya namin sa habitual absentism.

“Papasok ka na sa monday, ah?” paniniguro sa akin ni Amanda. I nodded to assure her.

“Isasabay ko siya sa pagpasok para sureball!” sabi naman ni Calvin.

Niyakap ko silang dalawa bago sila lumabas ng unit ko. Muli na namang nabalot ng katahimikan ang buong lugar. Ayaw ko ng ganito, nabibingi ako.

Balak ko sanang puntahan si Warren sa unit niya nang tumunog ang cellphone ko. Dali-dali akong nagtatakbo papunta ro’n dahil baka si Ren ang tumatawag pero bigo ako nang makita ang pangalan ni Sir Lex sa screen nito.

I answered his call.

“Good evening, Win. Are you home?”

“Good evening po, Sir Lex. Yes po. Bakit po?”

“Can we talk? Ipapasundo na lang kita sa driver ko. Busy ka ba?”

“Hindi naman po ako busy. Sige po. Mag-aayos na po ako.”

“Okay. See you later.”

I don’t know why, but my heart started racing in my chest. I have no idea what we’re going to talk about, but something about it makes me nervous.

Whatever it is. I just need to find out.

*

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😘

🚩11: Heart of Riverside Valley

WIN

The warm, cozy place of Espresso Enclave welcomed me. Hindi ganoon karami ang tao ngayon kahit gabi na. Some were teenagers hanging out with their friends.

Napabuntong-hininga ako nang makita ko si Sir Lex mula sa isang lamesa. He’s alone.

Nagtungo ako sa kaniya at bumati. “Good evening, Sir.”

Ngumiti siya sa akin. “Have a seat.”

Sinunod ko siya. I sat on the chair in front of him. May kung anong kaba sa puso ko, nagdidikta na hindi maganda ang laman ng pag-uusap na ito.

“Kumusta ka naman? Kape ka muna. In-order na kita ng paborito mong frappe,” sabi niya at saka iniusog sa akin ang kape na nasa gitna ng mesa.

Alam niya talaga kung ano ang paborito ko. Dahil din naman sa kaniya kung bakit kami pa rin ni Ren ngayon. Kung ibang manager ito ay pinaghiwalay na kami dahil makakasira sa imahe ni Rendy ang pagkakaroon ng parter pero sa kaniya, sinuportahan niya pa kami.

Nagpasalamat ako sa kaniya at saka tinanggap ang frappe na bigay niya.

“I know there’s a conflict between you and Ren,” he started. Narinig ko pa lang ang pangalan niya ay naluluha na ako.

“Kaya mo pa bang i-handle ang pagiging matigas ng ulo niya, Win?”

Kailan ko ba sinukuan?

“Napapagod man ako, Sir, pero hindi ko kailanman naisip na sumuko sa kaniya,” sagot ko.

“I’m sorry, Win.” Hinawakan niya ang kamay kong nakapatong sa lamesa. “I tried talking to Ren but he’s just being a stubborn. Sasabihan na kitang ihanda mo ang sarili mo sa mga p’wedeng mangyari sa relasiyon niyong dalawa.”

“B-bakit po?” My voice broke. Parang unti-unting gumuguho ang pag-asa sa puso ko.

“Later tonight, Ren and Francis will be guests on a talk show. He told me he has something to announce to the public. He didn’t specify what it is, but he told me to let you know that you should watch the show. He said he’ll come home after it’s over.”

Hindi ko alam kung magiging masaya ba ako dahil alam kong uuwi si Ren mamayang gabi o mangangamba sa mga balak niyang gawin. Hindi ko alam kung anong pinaplano niya. Hindi ko pa rin naman siya nakakausap ng maayos simula noong nangyaring insidente noon dahil palagi niya akong iniiwasan. Ni hindi ko rin alam na may guesting pala sila ngayon. Wala siyang update sa mga ganap niya sa buhay at aaminin kong masakit ’yon sa parte ko.

“Thank you for telling me, Sir Lex,” sabi ko sa kaniya. “Aalis na po ako.”

Hindi ko na pinakinggan pa ang mga sinabi niya. I just stormed out of the coffee shop and let my feet take me somewhere I didn’t know.

Napadpad ako sa heart of Riverside Valley, sa plaza. The whole place was decorated with christmas lights. Every plant was properly trimmed, making the whole place neat.

I sat on one of the benches, took out my phone, and looked for that specific talk show online.

“The first episode of Boy Next Door was a hit. How do you feel about the positive reception it’s getting from people?” tanong ng host sa kanila. They were sitting on a two seater sofa. Nakapatong pa sa hita ni Francis ang isang kamay ni Ren. It just so painful to watch.

“Sobrang saya po. We didn’t expect it to go viral. People are really invested and looking forward for the upcoming episodes,” nakangiting sagot ni Francis sa kaniya.

“Sa akin naman po, of course, sobrang saya kasi bata pa lang po ay pangarap ko na ito. Now that my time has come, I assure everyone that there is a great series to look forward to. Thank you for supporting RenCis!” nakangiting sabi naman ni Rendy. Hindi ko maitatanggi na bagay silang dalawa. They were the perfect cast for the series. Hindi ko lang tuloy maiwasang magselos habang pinapanood silang dalawa.

“Since you’re here, can I clarify the news circulating online about a random guy rumored to be Rendy’s real-life partner? Is it true?” tanong ng host kay Ren.

Would he deny our relationship?

I heard him laugh. “He was just a random stranger who disturbed our date that time.”

It felt like an arrow had pierced right through my heart.

“People will never tire of making up fake news just to ruin someone’s reputation. Maraming maninira pero walang magtatagumpay. I’m single po. Just to clarify my status to everyone.”

May pumatak na tubig sa screen ng cellphone ko. Tangaina. Luha ko pala.

I was about to end the show when he said something that broke me even more.

“Francis and I are actually dating.”

So, this is the announcement he wanted to make? Is this meant to break me? Well, if that was his plan, congrats-he succeeded.

I turned off my phone and closed my eyes. Patuloy lang sa pagpatak ang mga luha ko. He denied our relationship to everyone. He even told the people that they were dating. Tangina. Ang sakit mo naman mahalin, Rendy.

Suddenly, my phone rang.

Warren’s calling…

It took me some time to answer his call. I didn’t say a thing. Nakatakip pa ako sa aking bibig upang pigilang umalpas ang impit kong paghagulgol dahil sa labis na pag-iyak.

“Where are you, Win? Please tell me where you are.”

I ended the call. Doon mas bumuhos ang luha ko. This isn’t the life I wanted. Wala na akong ginawa kundi ang umiyak gabi-gabi. Umasa na magiging maayos din ang lahat. Hindi naman ako nagkulang bagkus ay binuhos ko pa lahat. Wala na ngang natira sa akin pero bakit hindi pa rin naging sapat?

I should prepare myself. Ren will be meeting me after the show. Kailangan kong kalmahin ang sarili ko. I need to compose myself. Hindi ako p’wedeng umiyak sa harapan niya. Hindi ko p’wedeng ipakitang nahihirapan ako.

Tangina! How can I stay composed when someone I gave everything to ended up breaking my heart?

I stayed there a little longer until the tears calmed and subsided. I received another call, and this time, it was Ren’s name on the phone screen.

I sighed and answered it.

“Nasaan ka?”

“At the heart of Riverside Valley.”

Hindi na siya nagsalita pa dahil ibinaba niya na agad ang tawag. Nangingilid na naman ang luha ko. Iyan ba ang composed? Clown ka talaga, Win!

Naghintay ako sa pagdating niya. There are questions that keep hitting my head. Natatakot ako sa magiging katapusan ng pagkikita namin ni Rendy. Iiwanan niya na ba ako? Magpapaalam nang maayos dahil sa loob ng tatlong taon ay hindi ako naging masamang kapareha sa kaniya? Pero hindi pa ako handa. Hindi niya ba naisip ang mararamdaman ko?

Alam kong namamaga na ang aking mga mata sa kakaiyak. Kahit na anong pigil ko sa mga ito ay putuloy pa rin sila sa pagpatak. Alam kong tapos na ang lahat ng sa amin ni Rendy dahil sa binigay niyang balita sa lahat. Mas tataas ang ratings nila dahil realistic ang relasiyon nila ni Francis. Their fandom will increase. Wala pa man ay alam kong sisikat siya. He has everything an outstanding celebrity should possess. Meron lang isang bagay na wala siya at ’yon ay ang puso.

I was so occupied that I wasn’t aware of someone’s presence near me. Narinig ko na lang siya na magsalita.

“Napanood mo na?”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at bumungad sa akin si Rendy na nakatayo ilang hakbang ang layo sa akin.

“Maghiwalay na tayo,” sabi niya pa.

Tangina naman. Walang paligoy-ligoy talaga?

Hindi ako nagsalita. I just stared at him, carefully memorizing his facial features so I wouldn’t miss him too much when he left.

I stood up and made my way in his direction. Niyakap ko siya ngunit hindi niya tinugon ang yakap na ’yon.

“Thank you for everything, Win. Thank you for the three incredible years of our relationship,” sambit niya.

Humiwalay ako ng pagkakayakap sa kaniya. I let my tears fall freely from my eyes. I smiled, but my lips were too weak to form a genuine one.

“My door is always open for you, Ren,” sambit ko at saka hinaplos ang pisngi niya.

He removed my hand. I could see tears welling up in his eyes. “I hired someone to pack my things from your unit. Iiwan ko na lang ang spare key sa ilalim ng doormat.”

Marahan akong tumango. “Be the brightest star in the industry. I hope you find your happiness in your career, Ren. Mahal na mahal kita.”

I didn’t ask him about his relationship with Francis. It’s nonsense. Hindi ko na rin inilaban ang relasiyon naming dalawa. He has already made a decision. All I can do is to support him. Tinanggap ko na lang kahit na masakit. The home that was once filled with joy and happiness was now empty and lifeless. Parang ayaw ko na munang umuwi.

“So, mauna na ako?” I said, doing my best to sound casual.

Hindi ko na hinintay pa ang sagot niya. I strode away, called a taxi and told the driver to take me to The Tipsy Tavern. It was the only way I could think of to escape for a moment. Gusto kong tumakas sa reyalidad at makaramdam ng saya.

Hindi ko alam kung magkano ang naiabot ko sa driber. Alam kong sobra ’yon dahil hinabol niya pa ako bago ako makapasok sa pub house.

“Regalo ko na ’yan sa ’yo, manong,” sabi ko sa kaniya bago ako tuluyang pumasok sa pub.

I walked straight to the bar counter and sat on a stool.

“Give me the strongest liquor that exists,” sabi ko sa bartender.

He prepared it for over a minute before serving it to me.

“Thanks,” wika ko.

Ininom ko ng diretso saka ako umorder pa ng isa. The bitter taste lingered in my throat. It was just a glass, but I already felt a pang of dizziness. Wala pa namang Warren ngayon. Walang titingin sa akin. Bahala na. Gusto ko lang makatakas sa reyalidad. I shouldn’t be dependent of Warren. May sariling buhay naman ’yong tao.

After getting another glass of liquor, I stood up and made my way toward the crowd.

People were dancing with loud music. Nahahalina ako kaya tinungga ko ang alak at iniabot sa kung kanino ang baso saka ako nagtatakbo sa dance floor.

The music was playing in my ears. Kung kani-kanino na ako nabubunggo. I could feel some hands touching my butt and crotch until someone grabbed my waist.

“May pinagdadaanan ka yata? You looked sad,” komento niya.

I was just staring at him and could tell that he had beautiful pair of eyes.

“You want to taste the heaven?” he asked. Naitulak ko tuloy siya.

“Bastos!” sambit ko. Mukha ba akong pokpok?

“No. I’m not trying to flirt with you. I’m selling a ketamine capsules,” bulong niya.

Napakunot ang noo ko. “Are you offering me drugs?” paglilinaw ko sa kaniya.

“Exactly. Mabisa ito para makalimot ka panandalian.” Pagkasabi niya pa lang noon ay kumuha na agad ako ng pera sa wallet ko.

“Give me four capsules,” I said and paid him the cash.

Mas lumapad ang ngiti niya habang nagpapalinga-linga sa paligid.

“Be responsible to take it. Baka ma-overdose ka. One tablet is enough,” paalala niya.

I didn’t listen. Nang pasimple niyang maiabot sa akin ito ay umalis na rin ako. I was too dizzy to get into the restroom.

Naghilamos muna ako sa faucet bago inilabas ang apat na capsule sa aking bulsa. Nakalagay lang ito sa isang maliit na plastic.

I took them all and put them in my mouth. Doon na rin ako uminom sa faucet. Tangina.

I know I will overdose, and that is my intention.

Suddenly, it felt like time was moving slowly. People seemed to skip and glitch, and it felt like I was floating. Parang humihiwalay ang kaluluwa ko sa aking katawan.

This is what I wanted.

Malabo na ang paningin ko pero nakapunta pa rin ako sa counter.

“Give me one more glass of vodka, please. Thank you,” sabi ko doon sa bartender.

Naging abala ako na panoorin ang iba. Parang ang saya nilang lahat. Everyone is smiling at me.

“Sir,” sabi noong bartender.

Akmang kukuhanin ko na iyong inaabot niyang baso pero parang tumagos ang kamay ko dahilan para mahulog ito.

“Sorry, charge mo na lang sa akin,” hingi kong paumanhin.

Hindi na ako humingi pa ng alak. I stood up. Litong-lito na ako kung saan pupunta. Everyone seemed to be in slow motion.

Napahawak ako sa aking didbib. Even my own breathing felt like it was in slow motion.

Inaantok na ako. I need to sleep this off. I think the drug is taking effect.

My body seems numb. Wala na akong maramdaman kaya noong natumba ako ay hindi ko naramdaman ang kirot ng pagtama ko sa sahig.

Someone held me and supported my body.

“Win, what happened to you? I should have listened to my instincts! Sorry, na-late ako!”

Hindi ko na makita ang mukha niya pero alam kong boses ’yon ni Warren.

Naninigas na ang mga braso at paa ko. I couldn’t control my shivering. Something was wrong, but my eyelids felt too heavy. Manhid na ang buong pakiramdam ko hanggang sa may naririnig na akong matinis na tunog sa aking mga tenga.

In a world consumed by chaos, I seek the solace of peace. Now that I’ve tasted its serenity, I fear becoming ensnared, longing to linger in its embrace and never awaken again.

Iniwan na ako ni Rendy. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.

*

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🚩12: Hospital Room

WIN

The cold breeze awakened my senses. May nararamdaman akong nakahawak sa aking kamay. Slowly, I opened my eyes, only to find Wren slumped over the bed, fast asleep.

We were in a four-cornered room with white-painted walls. My suspicions were confirmed upon seeing an IV line inserted into my skin. I was in a hospital with Warren.

“Win, you’re awake!” masiglang sabi sa akin ni Warren. Nagising ko yata siya.

I managed to smile at him. My body was extremely exhausted. The last thing I remember was being at The Tipsy Tavern.

“You’re three days unconscious, Win. I’m glad you’re awake now,” sambit ni Warren at saka niya ako niyakap.

“Let me call the doctor to check on you.” Akmang aalis na siya ngunit pinigilan ko siya.

“Did they find out about the ketamine?” I asked him.

Nahinto si Warren. He looked at me with concern and nodded.

“Did someone drug you at The Tipsy Tavern, Win?” he asked.

Umiling ako. “I bought it from stranger, Wren.”

Napasapo siya sa kaniyang mukha. Halatang dismayado sa mga sinabi ko.

“Araw-araw bumibisita ang local police officers sa ’yo, Win. They were investigating your case. If they find out that you used the drug recreationally, you could possibly end up in jail!”

Kinabahan ako sa mga sinabi niya. I was so irrational that time. Hindi ko naisip ang mga p’wedeng kahinatnan nito.

“If they ask you about it, tell them you don’t know. Kailangan nating palabasing sinadiya kang painumin nito. Nako, Win! Ano bang naiisipan mo!” Wren was so frustrated. I could see it in the way he acted.

“Just because Rendy announced that he’s dating Francis doesn’t mean it’s already the end of your life! 29 years kang nagsikap para sa sarili mo tapos sisirain mo lang dahil sa walang k’wentang lalaki na ’yon? Are you out of your mind, Win?” Namumula na ang mukha niya. He was so pissed after finding out what I had just done.

“Papatayin mo pa ang sarili mo dahil lang hiniwalayan ka niya. Hindi ba dapat maging masaya ka dahil nakalaya ka na sa putanginang ’yon? Win, it’s a victory, not a defeat!”

I could feel my tears welling up in my eyes. Ni hindi ko naisip na may taong mag-alala sa akin kung mawawala ako. I was so selfish that I didn’t think about the people who still love me. Masiyado akong nabulag ng sakit ng pagmamahal ko kay Rendy.

“I will call the doctor. Remember what I told you, Win. Lie about the ketamine. Hindi ko kaya kung makukulong ka dahil sa pagiging padalos-dalos mo,” he said and left the room.

Nang maiwan mag-isa ay lumayag na naman ang isip ko patungo kay Ren. I wonder where he is or what he’s doing. Kumusta na kaya siya? Is he thinking of me? Did he even visit me here? I should be moving on, but why am I still imprisoned by his memories? Sobrang tanga mo talaga, Win!

When Wren came back, he was with a doctor who checked my pulse and vitals.

“You’re lucky to wake up so soon. Some people who overdosed take a long time to recover; some are in a coma, and some don’t make it. It’s a good thing your friend brought you here immediately. If he had been any later, you might have lost your life,” the doctor commented. “Do you need counseling? I know a good psychiatrist—”

I cut him off, “I don’t need a psychiatrist, Doc.”

Mukhang nagulat siya sa tono ng boses ko. He cleared his throat. “P’wede ka nang ma-discharge this afternoon, but the police need to talk to you first. Consider this a warning—don’t overdose on drugs again. I need to head out now. Alagaan mo ang sarili mo, hijo,” paalam niya sa amin.

Ewan ko at nainsulto ako sa paraan ng pagsasalita niya. Para bang alam niyang sinadya ko ang nangyari na ito sa akin. Hindi dapat ako magalit pero hindi ko maiwasan. Kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit ako nandito ngayon tapos ako pa ang may ganang mairita?

Warren came near me and held my hand. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Pagod. Sobrang pagod,” sagot ko sa kaniya.

“After talking to the police, I’ll take you home. For now, you need to stay here until they arrive. Okay?”

Tumango ako kay Warren. “Thank you, Wren,” I said.

“What do you want to eat? Malapit na ang lunch. Ibibili kita ng pagkain sa labas,” tanong niya.

“Gusto ko lang ng malamig na tubig,” I said with all honesty.

“I’ll be right back,” paalam niya at saka lumabas ng silid.

Sobrang s’werte ko talaga kay Warren. Rain or shine, he’s always here. Even if I don’t ask for help, he’s willing to lend a hand. He’ll embrace me if I need a warm hug and lecture me for all my wrongdoings, but he’ll never get mad. Siya ang knight in shining armor ko. Hindi siya nagkulang sa pagmamahal na binubuhos sa akin. I will always be the one falling short for him.

Nang makabalik si Wren ay may bitbit siyang chocolate cake at cold bottled water.

“Chocolate can help restore your lost energy. Have a bite,” sabi niya habang inilalapit sa akin ang tinidor na may nakatusok na piraso ng chocolate cake.

“Thank you, Wren,” I said, taking it.

“Promise me you won’t harm yourself again.” His voice was deep and serious.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at tumango. “I’m sorry for being impulsive.”

Later that day, the police arrived. They conducted an interview, and as Wren had advised, I denied buying the ketamine from a stranger. They said they would investigate The Tipsy Tavern. Mukha namang napaniwala ko sila kaya kahit papaano ay nabawasan ang pangamba sa puso ko.

After they left, Warren and I planned to go home. Gusto ko na rin ipahinga ang katawan ko. It felt like I had 20-hour of ride to heaven. Sobrang pagod na pagod ako.

Nasa biyahe na kami ngayon nang kausapin ko si Warren. He was the one driving the car.

“Can I stay at your place?” I asked.

“You’re always welcome in my unit,” he replied with a smile.

Hindi ko pa kayang umuwi ng unit ko dahil alam kong kahit saang sulok ako tumingin ay si Rendy lang ang maaalala ko. Paunti-unti ay makakausad ako. Hindi ko magagawa ’yon ng isang araw lang lalo na’t kahit sa social media ay nagkalat ang tambalang RenCis. I think I need to deactivate all my social media accounts for the sake of my inner peace. Mas mahihirapan akong mag-move on kung lagi kong makikita si Rendy.

Nang makauwi kami sa unit ni Warren ay inayos niya muna ang k’warto niya upang makapagpahinga ako.

“I already changed the bedsheet and pillow cases. Magpahinga ka na,” sambit niya sa akin nang maihatid ako sa k’warto niya.

I walked to him and embraced him. “Thank you, Wren.”

Tinugon niya ang yakap ko, bagay na hindi ginawa sa akin ni Ren noon. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay babagsak na naman ang mga luha ko.

I was the one who ended the warm embrace.

“Call me if you need anything. I’ll be just outside,” nakangiting sabi sa akin ni Warren.

He closed the door. Nahiga na ako sa kama niya. I covered myself with the blanket and let myself fall asleep.

Alas siyete na ng gabi nang magising ako. I pulled myself up and made my way out of the room.

“Win!” Amanda called out loudly as she hurried toward me. Niyakap niya agad ako nang makalapit siya.

“They waited for you to wake up, Win,” Warren commented.

Calvin was with him. Nasa living room sila. May mga sandwich sa lamesa at fruit juice.

“Nabalitaan namin na nagising ka na. How are you? Kumusta ang pakiramdam mo?” Amanda asked and checked on me.

“Ayos naman ako. Thank you for the concern,” sagot ko sa kaniya.

Inalalayan ako ni Amanda patungo sa sofa set. Pinaupo niya ako sa bakanteng upuan. She settled down next to Calvin.

“Huwag ka nang magba-bar mag-isa, ah!” Bulalas ni Calvin.

“Gusto ko lang makatakas sa reyalidad, Calv. Don’t blame me. Kagagaling ko lang sa break up,” depensa ko.

“Buti naman-sorry.” Napatakip pa si Amanda sa bibig niya nang sitahin siya ni Calvin.

“Real talk lang, Win. Mas ikabubuti mo ang nangyari sa inyong dalawa kaya pasensiya ka na sa inaasal ni Amanda. Masaya lang ito na nakalaya ka sa kamay ng walking red flag na ’yon,” pag-amin ni Calvin sa akin.

“Are you guys here to roast me? Kita niyo namang durog ako, ’di ba? Mga kaibigan ko ba talaga kayo?” I faked a cry.

“Bahala ka riyan basta masaya kaming tatlo dahil nag-hiwalay na kayo,” komento naman ni Warren. Isa pa itong lalaki na ’to, e!

“Hindi naman tatagal ang pagsikat noon sa ugali na meron siya. Swear! Short time lang ang popularity niya, Win!” sambit ni Amanda.

“Grabe ka naman,” sagot ko. “P’wede bang huwag na lang natin siyang pag-usapan?”

Saglit na natahimik sa pagitan naming apat.

“Kumusta sa trabaho?” I asked them.

Saglit na nagpalitan ng makahulugang tingin ang dalawa.

“Sasabihin ko na ba?” tanong ni Amanda kay Calvin.

“He has the right to know,” the guy replied to her.

Amanda took a deep breath. “Win, huwag kang mabibigla, ah?”

I sensed that this wouldn’t be good news.

“They’ve already replaced you. Our boss hired a new staff member,” she said, her shoulders slumped.

“Teka? Hindi nila p’wedeng gawin ’yon nang hindi pinapaalam sa kaniya!” Reklamo ni Warren.

“Iyon na nga. May issue kasi na nangyari sa pinasa mong file, Win. Remember the file Sir Henry assigned to you?” Amanda asked me, so I nodded in response.

“Someone leaked it. Napunta sa kalaban nating kumpanya ang file kaya magkaparehas ang model natin at model nila. Actually, lunching na ng Xelzi X5 nila this month. Lalabas na tayo ang copycat kaya rush na niyayari ang whole plan para mas mauna tayo mag-release,” paliwanag sa akin ni Amanda.

“Hindi ko maintindihan. Wala naman silang pruweba na ako ang naglabas ng file natin sa kabila! Bakit sesesantihin nila ako?” depensa ko.

“You’re the last one who had contact with it, Win, so they assumed you did it. Sinubukan naming ipaglaban ka pero hindi nakinig ang big boss. They just removed you to our team. Naipaglaban naming huwag kang sampahan ng kaso o ano dahil witness naman kami ni Calvin noong ginagawa mo ’yon.”

“There’s something wrong going on. I was framed! Someone must have set me up!” but the question is, who did it?

“We will find the answer and take legal action. Hindi ako papayag sa ganito, Win. You know me,” Warren said.

“We’re on your side, Win. Tutulungan ka namin sa kaso mo,” nakangiting sabi sa akin ni Amanda.

“Kami ang magiging mata mo sa Nexion Mobile Corporation,” paninigurado ni Calvin.

“Thank you guys,” I said.

Honestly, I have no idea who is behind all this. Wala akong maisip na suspek. Wala naman kasi akong kaaway sa trabaho kaya mahirap sa akin alamin kung sino ang may gawa noon. Whoever you are, we won’t stop until you’re on your knees begging for forgiveness. Mali ka ng kinalaban.

*

🚩13: Inside the Closet

WIN

My life went into a never-ending catastrophe. Akala ko’y tapos na ang tadhanang saktan ako nang tanggalin niya sa buhay ko ang taong akala ko’y parte nito. Hindi pa pala. My case is still ongoing with the Nexion Mobile Company. Hindi naman ako papayag na gano’n-gano’n na lang. Kahit na hindi na ako makabalik sa trabaho, gusto ko lang malinis ang pangalan ko at malaman kung sino ang tao na nasa likod nang pagsasabutahe sa akin.

I still can’t bring myself to stay in my unit. I went there once, but I never tried again. Miski ang paboritong pabango ni Rendy ay naaamoy ko pa rin doon. Hindi maganda sa akin ’yon lalo na’t gusto ko nang makausad at kalimutan siya.

As of now, I am staying at Warren’s unit. Nakakahiya na siya pa ang kumukuha ng mga damit ko mula sa aking unit dahil hindi ko magawang makapasok sa sarili kong condo.

Sa loob ng tatlong araw na lumipas ay dito ako tumutuloy kasama ni Warren. We share in bed, and in return, I keep his unit clean and neat. Iyon lang ang tinatanggap niyang gawin ko dahil hindi niya naman ako mapipigilan doon. Sinubukan kong magbigay ng pera sa kaniya para sa mga stock namin ng pagkain pero hindi niya tinanggap.

Malapit nang mag alas singco kaya maya-maya ay lalabas na rin siya ng trabaho. Mas magaling siyang magluto sa aming dalawa pero sinubukan ko pa ring ipagluto siya ng adobong baboy. Sana ay magustuhan niya.

I settled down on the sofa and turned on the television. Mukha agad ni Rendy ang bumungad sa akin.

Agad kong pinatay ang TV at tumayo. Bigla akong nawalan ng gana manood. Mas mabuti pa ay abangan ko na lang siguro si Warren sa lobby ng Skyline.

Dahil malamig doon gawa ng aircon ay pumasok muna ako ng k’warto niya. Hindi naman magagalit ’yon kung hihiramin ko ang isa sa mga jacket niya.

Nang makapasok sa k’warto ay dumiretso agad ako sa kaniyang walk in closet. I opened the closet door, my fingers lightly brushing against Warren’s jacket when something metallic caught my attention. It was positioned in the corner—small, almost unnoticeable if you weren’t looking closely. Isang lockbox.

Hindi ito kalakihan, sakto lang sa dalawang kamay, and the metal had a cool, almost distant feel. It looked worn, as if it had been opened and closed several times already, yet it carried a certain weight—parang may mahalagang bagay sa loob. The small lock, though simple, was perfectly intact, as if it was meant to safeguard something important.

Napaisip ako, bakit nga ba kailangan ni Warren ng ganitong klaseng box?

I examined it more closely, tracing the faint scratches and dents on its surface. May maliit na keyhole, seemingly inviting but still closed off—just like Warren sometimes. My heart began to race a little. Ano kaya ang nasa loob nito na kailangan pang ilihim nang ganito? There was something about it that felt deeply personal.

Suddenly, I remembered something close to my heart—a gift from Warren when I turned 25. It was a gold necklace with a small key as the pendant. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, ang pendant na ’yon ay kasya sa kandado nito.

I put the box back and stood up, eager to get the necklace that had been kept inside my cabinet for so long. I don’t know, but something was urging me to open the box. It was as if Warren was waiting for me to figure things out—na ako namang tanga, kinain pa ng apat na taon bago makita ang lockbox na ito.

Hindi ko na nasuot pa ang jacket na pakay ko dahil ang balak ko ngayon ay kunin ang iniregalo niya sa akin noon na necklace.

I stormed out of his unit. With my trembling hand, I held the doorknob to my unit. I took a deep breath before opening the door. I just needed to get that necklace and leave. Hindi ko naman kailangang manatili nang matagal sa loob.

When I got in, I made my way toward my room but stopped on the doorway when the whole room came into view. I could still see myself with Rendy on the bed, sharing warm hugs and exchanging stories about the day. In one corner, I saw us inside a tent that we had built temporarily, with laughter filling the whole room.

When I turned to the closet, I saw us again, getting ready for work.

Those memories kept flashing before my eyes, reminding me of the happy relationship we once had.

Suddenly, I felt tears running down my cheeks. I needed to get out of here, but I had to get that necklace first.

Nilabanan ko ang sariling multo. I walked into the room, opened my cabinet, and took out the small vintage box where the necklace had been kept for a long time.

Binuksan ko ito at bumungad sa akin ang kinang nang pagkaginto nito. The small key was resting in the center.

Kinuha ko lang ang necklace, ibinalik ang box nito sa cabinet at dali-daling naglakad palabas. Ni hindi ko na nagawang isara pa ang pinto ng k’warto.

Lakad-takbo ako hanggang sa makalabas ng unit. I was catching my breath as I rested my back against the door.

“Win? Are you okay?”

Napalingon ako sa nagsalita. Nagulat pa ako nang makita si Warren kaya mabilis kong ibinulsa ang hawak na k’wintas.

Kumunot ang noo ko nang makitang may kasama siya. The guy was wearing a tuxedo, and his hair was neatly brushed and pulled back. He had gentle features that made him look like a good person. Bagay na bagay sa suot niyang pormal ang tila ba mabuting pag-uugali nito. Hindi ko alam pero may aura siya na nagdidikta sa aking mabuti itong tao.

“S-sorry. Sinubukan ko lang ang sarili ko kung kaya ko na manatili sa loob ng unit ko pero hindi pa rin pala,” sambit ko at saka tiningnan ang lalaking kasama ni Warren. “Sino siya?”

“Oh, right,” Warren began. “Pablo, this is Win, the one I was telling you about. Siya ang best friend ko,” Warren introduced me to his companion. “Win, this is Pablo, my lawyer friend. He can help us resolve your case at work.”

Inilahad ni Pablo ang kamay niya sa akin. Magiliw ko itong tinanggap.

“Nice meeting you,” he said.

“Likewise,” I replied.

“To clear things out, manliligaw ako ni Warren,” sambit niya pa dahilan para malaglag ang panga ko.

*

I didn’t see that coming. Ang awkward ng hangin tuloy ngayon. I could feel that Warren was uneasy. Mukhang hindi niya inaasahan na ipapakilala ni Pablo ang sarili niya sa ganoong paraan.

Since I was avoiding Espresso Enclave because it reminded me of Rendy, we tried another coffee shop called Warm Brew Café. The minimalist interior design complemented the variety of coffees they served. The unique chandelier was the main highlight of the café. Upon checking the whole place, I must say it is wider than Espresso Enclave. Fortunately, there aren’t many people here today, so the entire place is quiet.

“I need to know the whole details about your case, Sir Win,” said Pablo.

“Win na lang. Huwag mo na akong i-sir.” Napakapormal naman ng taong ito. Nakakaloka.

Ibinahagi ko sa kaniya ang buong kwento. He listened silently to every word that came out of my mouth. Mukhang naiintindihan niya naman ang punto ko kaya hindi ako nahirapan magkwento sa kaniya.

“Alright, Win, here’s what we can do. First off, the company terminated you while you were unconscious after the accident, and they didn’t even give you a chance to defend yourself. That’s wrongful termination. We can file a lawsuit to hold them accountable. You have the right to get compensation for the wages you lost while you were out of work, along with damages for the emotional stress this caused you,” mahaba niyang panimula. Pablo took out a pen and notepad, then showed them to me while jotting down all the terms he was mentioning.

“Second, they accused you of leaking sensitive information to a competitor. If they spread that false accusation, especially if it harmed your reputation, we can also file for defamation. That would cover any damage they’ve done to your name, whether through rumors or official statements.

“If your employment contract had terms about how they should handle situations like this, we could look into a breach of contract claim. If they broke any part of that agreement by firing you without due process, they’ll have to pay for that too.

“Lastly, there’s something called ‘intentional infliction of emotional distress.’ That’s just a fancy way of saying the company’s actions caused you severe emotional harm. You were in a vulnerable state, and they fired you without even checking the facts. We could pursue damages for that as well.

“All in all, we’d be asking for compensation for your lost wages, damages to your reputation, emotional stress, and possibly some extra punishment for the company’s reckless actions. In the end, it’s up to you whether you want to settle this outside of court or take it to trial. I’ll be here to guide you every step of the way.” Pablo is new to me. This is the first time I’ve met him, but I could feel his determination to help me out. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay magtatagumpay kami sa laban na ito.

Nilagyan niya ng halaga ang bawat kasong maaari kong isampa sa kumpanya. He tallied the total cost, and it really took me by surprise.

“Okay, Win, here’s the deal. I’ve calculated the total damages at PHP 3,750,000. If we settle, companies usually offer about 50% to 80% of that amount to avoid going to court,” sambit niya nang mabilugan ang grand total sa ilalim. I never knew I could receive such a high amount of money just from being falsely accused and terminated from my job.

“So, if we settle for around 70%, you could get about PHP 2,625,000. This should cover most of your losses and the stress you’ve gone through,” he added.

“The exact amount will depend on how negotiations go, but this gives you a rough idea of what you might get in a settlement,” pagtapos ni Pablo sa kaniyang paliwanag.

I was speechless. That is a huge amount of money. They made the wrong move by terminating me without proof of their accusations. This might be their greatest downfall.

“I’m honestly not after the money. I just need to clear my name and find out who is behind all this. But if this is the amount of compensation I could get, I don’t see anything wrong with fighting for what is right,” I told Pablo, justifying my stance.

Pablo took out a business card from his tuxedo and handed it to me.

“I’m willing to help, Win,” he said.

Tinanggap ko iyon. Nang mapatingin ako kay Warren sa gilid ni Pablo ay kinindatan niya lang ako. He seemed proud of himself. Dahil din sa kaniya, nagkaroon ako ng ideya tungkol sa kasong ito, pero sa katunayan, wala talaga akong alam sa mga p’wede kong gawin.

“I will send a formal letter to your company regarding your case. If they refuse to cooperate, then we will take them to court,” said Pablo.

“Thank you so much for helping me. I truly feel like you’re heaven-sent.” I even held his hand to show my gratitude.

“My pleasure, Win,” he said with a smile. “But I have to go. I also have a client at 8 PM.”

“How about joining us for dinner at Warren’s unit? I cooked pork adobo—you should give it a try,” I suggested.

“I really want to, but I have other commitments. The days ain’t limited for us. We can meet some other time. Thank you, Win,” he said with a smile.

“Are you sure? Gusto mo ba ay ihatid na kita sa pupuntahan mo?” tanong ni Warren sa kaniya.

“Pwede?” nag-aalangan na sabi ni Pablo.

Wren nodded. “I’ll drop Win off at Skyline, and then we’ll head to your destination.”

A small smile appeared on my lips. Warren’s sweet gestures towards Pablo stirred a bit of jealousy in my heart. Hindi ako sanay na makita siyang ganito sa ibang tao dahil sa akin niya lang ito madalas ipinapakita. Now that Pablo is here, and he’s Warren’s suitor, the idea was making it hard for me to stay at ease. Hindi ko maikakaila na nagseselos ako—but who am I to be jealous, right? Hindi naman ako jowa ni Warren, and for Pete’s sake, this is the first time I’ve met someone who says he’s courting my best friend! I should be happy for Wren, right?

I was silent in the back seat for the entire ride. Even the seating arrangement made me feel jealous. Ako kasi ang dapat na nasa tabi ni Warren, pero nag-give way na lang ako kay Pablo. Watching them share stories, exchange the same energy, and laugh together made me want to shrink into my seat.

Maybe this is new to me, which is why I’m still adjusting. Tama naman ako, ’di ba?

When we reached the Skyline condominiums, I got out of the car and waved goodbye.

“Uuwi rin agad ako, Win,” paninigurado sa akin ni Warren. I gave him a gentle nod.

“Mag-iingat kayo sa biyahe,” wika ko.

The car maneuvered away, and I watched it until it disappeared.

All my life, I was so used to having Warren by my side, making me feel important and valued. I wouldn’t be a hypocrite to deny that it didn’t have an effect on me. Cheering myself up internally is one of the hardest things to do, knowing that I am hurting. The news of Warren having a suitor, and Pablo at that, hit me harder than I expected. It made me confront feelings I had buried deep down—feelings of inadequacy and sadness.

Seeing Warren with someone else, sharing moments that used to be ours, stirred a tumult of emotions within me. I felt a pang of jealousy, mixed with a profound sense of loss. Despite my best efforts to stay supportive, a part of me struggled to accept that the person who once made me feel so special was now making someone else feel the same way.

It’s difficult to watch someone you care about move on while trying to convince yourself that it’s for the best. I find myself caught between wanting to be genuinely happy for Warren and grappling with my own heartache. The realization that I have to let go, even though it’s painful, is something I’m still trying to come to terms with.

*

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(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

🚩14: Bedside Confession

WIN

Days had passed, and Pablo kept me updated about the case. Amanda and Calvin requested the company’s CCTV footage with Pablo’s help through legal action. Wren, being the best guy in the world, helped me conquer my trauma and episodes of post-anxiety.

I cut everything off with Rendy. I stayed away from anything that reminded me of him. I even avoided staying in my unit just so I wouldn’t think of him. My social media accounts were already deactivated, and I stopped watching TV to avoid seeing anything related to him.

Kinain din ng ilang araw bago ako nakapagdesisiyon na balikan ang lockbox na nakita ko sa loob ng walk in closet ni Warren. Nagtatalo ang Id at Superego ko kung dapat bang buksan ko ang bagay na ’yon dahil alam kong personal siya kay Warren. I made a decision that if the key pendant really fits the lockbox, I will open it and reveal whatever has been hidden inside.

Nasa trabaho ngayon si Warren. It’s past 2 PM. Nalinis ko na ang buong unit niya. I was down to the last thing on my list, which was to open this lockbox if the key pendant was really designed for it.

I took the lockbox out of the closet and placed it on the bed. The metallic feel brought a cold serenity to my bare skin. My mind went haywire, imagining the endless possibilities of what could be inside.

Napahawak ako sa suot kong kwintas. My hand traced the small key pendant on my chest. If it was meant to be, it would be. I needed to open it now, so I removed the necklace from my neck. Slowly, I inserted the key into the padlock and twisted it, making a tiny click sound. They were meant for each other.

“Wren, what have you been keeping from me all this time?” I whispered to myself as I slowly removed the tiny lock.

My heart was racing inside my chest. Nanginginig ang mga kamay kong binuksan ang lockbox. For a moment, what I saw inside froze my whole system.

Random things were kept inside. Old movie ticket stubs caught my eye; I recognized them from the films we watched together in the cinemas. Tiny souvenirs and keychains were scattered across the surface. I picked up one that reminded me of our trip to Enchanted Kingdom. I also found a turtle keychain from our time in Palawan. Sa dami ng mga alaala namin, halos mapuno ang lockbox na ito. As I carefully removed each item, my heart skipped a beat when I discovered two handmade bracelets. May mga letra na nakaukit na may pangalan ko at ni Warren. It melted my heart to know that Warren had crafted these with his own hands.

Sa isang gilid, nakatupi ng maayos ang isang lumang jacket. Gumilid ang mga luha ko nang maalala ’yon. When we were kids, we used to explore every corner of our hometown. One time, we went near a lake, and bullies made fun of us and hid our clothes. As someone who loved wearing jackets, I kept one inside my bag. That jacket helped us cover our naked bodies—like we truly shared it, enjoying the warmth and closeness. Hindi ko malilimutan ang bagay na ’yon. I thought he had already thrown it away, but he kept it after all.

I placed the old jacket aside and continued to check the other items inside the lockbox. Nang sumilip ako’y tuluyan nang lumundag ang aking mga luha.

There were sheets of raw sketches, and every reference was of me. Warren, an artist who poured his heart into his work, had filled his sketchbook with my face. I never realized that, while I saw him as a best friend, he saw me so vividly in his art. It hurt to think that, even though I only felt platonic towards him, he might have had deeper feelings for me. It made me feel both honored and melancholic, knowing I was his muse but uncertain about what that truly meant for our friendship.

Makapal din ang mga raw sketches na iyon. Nang mailabas lahat ay sumilip akong muli sa lockbox. There’s only one thing left inside and that is a worn out journal.

I grabbed it and instantly felt a connection, a simple belonging that could make my heart flutter in an instant.

I flipped the worn-out cover and saw an illustration on the first page. I knew right away that Warren had drawn this.

There was a guy, likely Warren, painting at his easel, gazing at another figure standing from afar. The second guy’s form was distorted, as if beautifully smudged into the background.

Beneath the illustration was a quote.

“Silent strokes tell the stories words cannot.” - 2008

I was his number one fan. Lagi akong namamangha sa mga likhang-kamay niya. Hindi kasi ako magaling mag-drawing at lagi kong iniidolo si Warren sa talento niyang ’yon. Kapag sumasali siya sa mga patimpalak sa ekswela, lagi akong nandoon para sumuporta sa kanya. Lagi tuloy kaming may pangkain sa labas sa tuwing nananalo siya.

This illustration hit different—like it was trying to tell me a thousand messages, all pointing to me. My heart felt heavy. Pumatak na naman ang mga luha ko.

Pinunasan ko iyon bago inilipat ang pahina.

June 29, 2008

D

ear Win,

Unang beses kong gumawa ng entry sa journal na ito. Naisip ko lang dahil hindi ko magawang magsabi sa ’yo. Pasensiya ka na. Natatakot lang talaga ako. Kaya ayan, naisipan ko na lang mag-journal para kapag handa na akong magtapat ay ipapabasa ko na lang sa ’yo ang laman nito. Parang Diary of a Whimpy Kid lang ang atake. Naduduwag kasi ako. Pasensiya ka na.

It all started when we graduated from elementary. Ngayong 2008. First year high school na tayo at kagaya ng plano natin ay sa iisang school lang tayo nag-enroll. Sobrang saya ko kasi ibig sabihin noon ay anim na taon pa para makasama ka. Hindi na ako lugi ro’n. Kasama lang kita masaya na ako. Sa dami nang pinagsamahan natin simula maliit pa lang tayo, ewan ko na lang kung mabubuwag pa ang pagkakaibigan nating dalawa.

Napakarami nang nangyari sa pagsasama natin pero ni minsan ay hindi natin nagawang mag-away. Handa akong mang-away para lang protektahan ka sa iba pero hinding-hindi ko magagawang magalit sa ’yo. Mahal kita at akala ko’y normal lang itong nararamdaman ko hanggang sa mapansin kong may mali na. Hindi na basta kapatid lang ang tingin ko sa ’yo. Sobrang espesiyal mo sa akin, Win, sa puntong ikaw na ang nagiging rason ng kasiyahan ko.

Mahal kita, Win, at natatakot akong sabihin sa ’yo ’yon kaya sinarili ko. Wala naman talaga akong balak sabihin sa ’yo na may pagtingin ako. Ayaw kong layuan mo ako o mag-iba ang tingin mo sa akin. Kuntento na kasi ako sa relasiyon natin. Basta kasama kita, pakiramdam ko ay buo ako.

Para kang balon at unti-unti na akong nahulog sa ’yo, mas malalim, mas nakakatakot. Magaling lang ako magtago nitong nararamdaman ko, pero hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko ito maitatago. Bahala na. Hangga’t kaya ko ay gagawin ko.

Ang wish ko lang ay huwag mo akong iwan. Okay lang sa akin na hindi mo napapansin ang nararamdaman ko para sa ’yo, hindi ako nahihirapan. Makita lang kitang masaya ay masaya na rin ako, kahit na hindi ako ang dahilan nang pagngiti at pagtalon mo sa tuwa.

Mahal kita, Win at alam kong hinding-hindi magbabago ang bagay na ’yon.

Sa susunod na lang ulit kapag mabigat na.

Nagmamahal,

Wren

Pigil ang hininga ko sa mga nabasa. I closed the journal and started to reflect. All along, Warren had secret feelings for me—feelings I never even recognized. Behind his light aura and bright smiles was a Warren silently hurting. Parang nakonsensiya ako nang maisip ang mga panahong tuwang-tuwa akong ikwento sa kanya ang mga nagugustuhan ko, not knowing that he was hurting inside. Bakit hindi ko napansin? I was too blinded by the way he treated me, too comfortable thinking he was just being his usual self.

Pinahid ko ang luha. I put back all the stuff inside the lockbox, except for the small journal. I locked it again and returned it to the walk-in closet.

Things were swirling inside my head, bothering me like hell. Mabigat pa rin ang kalooban ko. All these years, he had been keeping that secret from me. Parang gusto ko siyang yakapin ngayon—iparamdam sa kaniya na mahal ko rin siya, kahit hindi kagaya ng pagmamahal na nararamdaman niya para sa akin. He’s important to me, and I value our relationship more than anything.

I decided to take the small journal. I needed to read more, to understand everything. So, I put it inside my bag where I kept most of my things. Once I’m done, I’ll talk to Warren.

Malapit na ring umuwi si Wren galing trabaho kaya kailangan kong ayusin ang sarili. Baka mahalata niyang galing ako sa pag-iyak. Tiyak na mag-aalala ’yon at magtatanong kung bakit.

I was about to take a quick shower when I heard my phone ringing. Nasa side table iyon ng silid kaya hindi na ako nag-atubili pang kuhanin at silipin kung sino ang nakarehistro sa screen.

Pablo’s calling. . .

It must be something important.

“Hello,” bati ko.

“Hi, Win. I have bad and good news for you.”

Hindi ko maiwasang makaramdam ng kaba. This must be something related to my case with Nexion Mobile Corporation.

“Can we talk in person? Wren will pick me up here, probably after five. Are you good with meeting at La Dolce Di Firenze?”

Tumango-tango ako kahit na hindi niya ako nakikita. “Sure! See you there.”

“Puntahan ka na namin ni Warren d’yan.”

“Hindi na. Magbiyahe na lang ako. No biggies.” Ito na naman ang selos ko kay Pablo.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” No.

“Okay then, see you later, bye!”

“Okay. Bye,” I said. He was the one who ended the call. The thought of them being together added a sprinkle of jealousy to my heart. Ibig sabihin kasi noon ay may kahati na ako sa best friend ko.

As much as I wanted to rant, I needed to prepare myself, so I went to the shower for a bath.

Lutang ako habang nasa shower. A lot of questions were running through my mind, making me feel the exhaustion of the whole day. The jealousy I felt towards the two of them only added to my stress. Even Ren kept coming to mind. Pakiramdam ko mabubuang na ako ngayon.

Somehow, I found comfort in the cold water gently caressing my skin. I stayed in the shower a bit longer before deciding to step out.

I just wore a plain brown polo shirt paired with my tattered jeans and Converse shoes. I pushed back my hair to make it look neat and applied a bit of powder to my face. Sinilip ko muna ang sarili ko sa salamin bago lumabas ng silid.

The moment I opened the door, Calvin and Amanda were about to knock, startling all three of us.

“Right on time!” Calvin exclaimed.

“Kunyari hindi nagulat,” pabirong sabi naman ni Amanda sa akin.

“Mukha pa naman kayong unggoy. Sinong hindi magugulat doon?” biro ko.

Kita ko ang gulat sa mga mukha nila na kalaunay tinawanan nilang parehas.

“Girl, ang pogi at ganda naman yata ng mga monkey na sinasabi mo!” patutsada ni Amanda.

“Totoo ’yon!” gatong naman ni Calvin.

“Alam niyo, ang eme niyong dalawa. Tara na kaya! Alam kong sinundo niyo lang ako at salamat,” sambit ko.

I locked Wren’s unit. Sabay-sabay naming tinungo ang parking area sa underground floor.

We got into Calvin’s car, and I took the back seat, of course. Ang akala ko nga ay ligtas na ako sa pag-iintriga ng dalawa pero hindi pa rin pala.

Right after we settled into the car, Amanda asked me something that startled me. “What does it feel like after Attorney Rivera showed up and started hanging around your BFF Wren?”

Magsisinungaling pa ba ako sa kanila? I think it’s pointless to lie to them.

I averted my gaze and let my eyes wander, taking in the beauty of the orange and blue hues of the sky.

“I honestly envy Pablo. It feels like he’s taking Wren away from me. I know I’m not in a position to be jealous, but I can’t help how I feel.” I felt a sense of relief after expressing my true feelings about Wren and Pablo. I might sound selfish, but I want Wren all to myself. Best friend ko ’yon, e! Sa akin ’yon!

*

Sorry for the late update. I was a bit busy with my studies. My apologies.

Kindly vote and comment.

Thank you!

-Kuyasen

🚩15: Creaking Floors

WIN

We all met in La Dolce Di Firenze. Naging madali sa akin na makita sila dahil nasa bungad lang silang lamesa. As I walked towards them, the view of Wren made me feel at ease. The revelations I read in the first entry of his journal helped me understand the situation from his perspective. I kept my emotions bottled up, carefully holding them inside.

Hindi ko ikakailang nagseselos ako sa kanilang dalawa. It’s not that I felt jealous just because I love Wren or anything, but the idea of them being together made me realize that soon, Wren would neglect me and give all his attention to Pablo. In that way, ako na lang ulit mag-isa.

Wren was wearing his casual white long sleeves with a necktie and black slacks. Pablo, being an attorney, was in his coat and tie, making them look good together-both professional.

“Good evening,” bati ko sa kanila nang makalapit kami.

Since the table had five chairs, I took the seat beside Warren. Nasa harapan niya naman si Pablo at hindi naman siguro magseselos ang isang ’yon sa akin. Ako pa rin naman ang best friend ni Warren kaya ’wag siyang ma-eme. Ako ang original!

It was a round table. Si Calvin at Amanda ang kaharap ko. Wren and Pablo were on either side of me.

“Order na kayong pagkain,” sabi sa amin ni Warren. He handed us the menu. Nang makapili ay tumawag siya ng waiter upang ipaalam ang napili naming pagkain.

After the waiter took all of our orders and walked away, Pablo started talking about the news.

“What do you want to hear first? The good or the bad news?” he asked.

“Unahin mo na iyong hindi maganda para mabawi iyong lungkot ko nang magandang balita pagkatapos,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

Pablo gave a side glance to Amanda and Calvin before speaking. He said, “We got the CCTV footage from your company, but it didn’t give us any leads, so there’s no use checking it. The good news is, I found the sender of the file with the help of my IT friend, who helped me trace the IP address of his device.”

What I will hear next will help us win the case.

“Adrian Adraneda, a former employee at your company, leaked the file to your rival company,” Pablo said with finality.

“He resigned one week before it happened, Win,” Amanda commented.

Napaisip ako. “Wala naman akong ginawa sa kaniya. What made him do it?”

“Sa pagkakatanda ko ay may sakit na cancer ang nanay ni Adrian. Maybe that’s his reason to do that without even thinking the consequences. Kailangan natin siyang makausap ngayon. We already got his address,” sambit naman ni Calvin.

“Right. After this dinner, let’s all go to Adrian’s place and ask him the story behind it. He will be the key to win this case,” said Pablo.

Our food arrived. We prayed and began to eat. There were times I secretly gazed at Wren beside me, but I couldn’t look him in the eye. Sobra akong nahihiya dahil sa mga nabasa ko sa journal niya. All along, he had been keeping that secret from me-that he loves me since high school and was content just having me by his side. Nahihiya tuloy akong makipag-usap sa kaniya.

“One more thing, your company accepted my proposal and agreed to meet with us next Monday to settle the agreement,” said Pablo.

I thanked all of them. Dahil sa kanila ay naging madali para sa akin ang sitwasiyon na ito.

I continued eating my food while they talked to each other, sharing their stories about life and love, until I felt a hand on my leg, gently squeezing it.

Napalingon ako kay Wren and he gave me a questioning look. No words needed, he was just checking on me.

Umiling ako at ngumiti sa kaniya. Kanina pa ako kinakain ng selos ko sa kanila ni Pablo. I didn’t know I would feel this way one of these days. Wren’s laughter made it hard for me to navigate this situation. Hindi ako sanay na makita siyang masaya sa piling ng iba. Nasanay na akong ako palagi ang nakakapagpatawa sa kaniya, at ngayong dumating si Pablo—who is doing the things I usually do to Wren—it made me so jealous.

“Excuse me,” paalam ko sa kanila. I stood up and made my way to the comfort room.

Ilang buntong-hininga agad ang pinakawalan ko nang makapasok doon. I walked toward the faucet and stared at my reflection. Ang bigat ng dibdib ko, at hindi maganda ito.

Suddenly, I saw Wren enter the comfort room and stop upon seeing me. He looked at me through the mirror, puzzled.

“You okay?” he asked.

Umiwas ako nang tingin sa kaniya. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. Not now, Win! You’re just being irrational again!

“Tell me it’s normal to feel jealous with you and Pablo being together.” I was so proud of myself to say those words to him.

When I looked at him, I could see how shocked he was.

“Kaya ba kanina ka pa malungkot?” he asked.

“Sorry, hindi lang ako sanay na may ibang nagpapasaya sa ’yo. Since then, I used to be the one who made you smile and laugh. Now that Pablo is here, it feels strange. I’m not happy about it.” A tear escaped my eye, but I was quick to wipe it away.

Wren, being himself, didn’t hesitate to embrace me. His warm hug brought solace to my bursting heart, calming it in an instant.

“I’m sorry for being selfish, Wren, but I can’t help it,” I said, tears flowing down my cheeks.

“Don’t worry, hindi naman kita pababayaan,” he said, caressing my hair.

I pulled away from his embrace and regained my composure. “I’m not stopping you from loving anyone. Just don’t leave me like Rendy did.”

He just smiled at me and that was enough to gave me the assurance.

I told him to go back there but he refused it. Hinintay niya pa tuloy akong maging maayos bago kami makabalik sa mga kasama.

I’m glad I was able to tell him.

Nang mayari kami ay nagpasiya kaming puntahan si Adrian. Alam ko naman ang address niya dahil sa akin dumadaan ang mga profile ng mga empleyado kaya naging madali sa amin na mahanap kung saan siya nakatira.

Turned out that Adrian was renting an apartment with his parents. Luma na ang apartment na ’yon kaya hindi ko mapigilang mapangiwi nang mapansin ang itsura ng lugar. Mukha kasing delikado kung titirhan pa. Mukhang haunted na.

I knocked on the door three times. I didn’t say anything, I just waited for someone to open it.

Nasa likuran ko lang ang mga kasama, naghihintay sa mga susunod na mangyayari.

Seconds later, the door swung open, revealing Adrian to me.

Kapansin-pansin ang malalim niyang mga eyebags. Mas pumayat siya ngayon kumpara noong huli niyang pasok sa kumpaniya. Ang laki ng pinagbago ng itsura niya ngayon.

“W-win,” he said, startled. “S-sorry.” He started crying. Lumuhod pa siya sa harapan ko. It broke my heart to see him like this.

“I just want to know who ordered you to do it. I am not after you, Adrian. Don’t worry,” I said to him.

He slowly composed himself, wiped his tears, and stood up.

“Pasok muna kayo. Ipaghahanda ko kayo ng maiinom,” sabi niya at saka binuksan ang pinto ng tinutuluyan nila.

We all stepped inside. The floor creaked like something out of a horror movie.

Inihatid niya kami sa sala at pinaupo sa lumang sofa. Tumabi sa akin si Warren. The rest sat down, and I didn’t care where they chose to sit.

“Magtitimpla lang ako ng kape. Diyan muna kayo-”

“Huwag ka nang mag-abala, Adrian. We’re all good. We’re just here to ask information about the incident,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

I saw him heaved a sigh. Naglakad siya patungo sa isang bakanteng upuan at naupo rito.

“I needed the money for my mother, who has cancer. Walang-wala na ako, Win, kaya ko nagawa ang bagay na ’yon. Sorry,” paliwanag niya.

“Who ordered you to do it then?” tanong naman ni Pablo sa kaniya.

Kinain din ng ilang minuto bago sumagot si Adrian, bagay na nakapagpalaglag ng puso ko.

“It was your ex-boyfriend, Win. Rendy told me to breach our file so he could avenge what you did to Francis back at The Tipsy Tavern.” Adrian’s eyes were locked on mine, and I could hear the determination in his voice.

“Sana mapatawad mo ako sa ginawa ko sa ’yo, Win. I have no choice but to do it for my mother,” he added as tears started to fall again from his eyes.

I was caught in the moment. The revelation felt like a slap that hit me hard. Ren had found a way to make me miserable. He didn’t even look back at all the good things I had done for him. Mas pinili niya pa ring ipaghiganti si Francis kaysa intindihin kung bakit ko nagawang sirain ang kotse ng hayop na ’yon. Grabe. This is sickening!

“I’ll help you with your mother’s medication on one condition,” I said firmly. Adrian wiped away his tears and looked me in the eyes, waiting for me to continue. “Be my witness when I meet with our big boss. Your presence will help me win this case. Let’s help each other, Adrian.”

He quickly made his way toward me and hugged me, crying over my shoulder. He must have been shocked that I didn’t accuse him of anything, but instead, offered my help.

Mark my words, Ren. I will make you miserable. Lintik lang ang walang ganti.

*

Sorry for the super delay update. Sobrang busy sa real life ang authornim niyo 🥲

See you on the next update~

Please vote! ❤️

🚩16: Tension Room

WIN

The following days added tension to my heart as we were approaching the day of the meeting with the CEO of my previous company. Kinakabahan talaga ako pero kailangan kong ipaglaban ang tama. I need to clear my name. It’s not my fault anyway. They didn’t investigate it.

When the day came, I brought Adrian with me to testify and explain the truth behind the incident. Kasama rin namin si Pablo noong pumasok kami sa conference room. Warren also took a leave from work just to support me. Naiwan sila sa labas kasama si Calvin at Amanda.

Nang makapasok kami sa conference, bumungad agad sa akin ang iba’t ibang respetadong tao sa loob ng kumpanya. When my eyes landed on the person standing at the far end of the long table, an electrifying feeling surged through my system. The big boss is here, and he’s looking sternly at me.

I did my best to stay calm and suppress what I was feeling. Sa tagal kong nagtatrabaho sa NMC ay pangalawang beses ko pa lang nakita si Mr. Yamamoto na CEO ng kumpanya. Halos manginig ako sa paglalakad habang binabaybay ang daan patungo sa upuan ko.

Sa dami namin sa loob, hindi ko na mabilang kung ilan kaming lahat. It felt like there were more than twenty individuals, and the three of us were the newest additions to the group inside the conference.

I took a deep breath before settling into my seat. Naupo na rin si Adrian at si Pablo sa magkabilang gilid ko.

Mr. Yamamoto began the agenda. Nakikinig lang ako sa kaniya. Pablo was the one who served as my spokesperson. Kaya ko naman sumagot ngunit mas may tiwala ako sa kakayahan ni attorney Pablo. He knew everything about my case. Wala na akong dapat pang ikabahala sa mga mangyayari.

Mr. Yamamoto asked Adrian to share his story with everyone. That was when I knew we had already won the case.

After almost an hour and a half of deliberation, we both agreed on a sixty percent money compensation. Pablo tried negotiating for eighty percent, but they refused and offered only fifty percent. I told them sixty percent with finality. Wala naman na silang angal dahil ayaw nila ng mahabang usap tubgkol doon. They don’t want any of this to spread out. As much as possible, they are protecting their image and this could be a huge problem if other’s might discover anout this.

“Two million, two hundred fifty thousand. That’s a huge amount of money,” I heard Adrian whisper beside me.

Nang maayos ang bank to bank transfer information ay hinarap ko siya.

“Thank you for helping me out,” I said and hugged him. When I pulled away, I stared directly into his eyes. “As I promised, I will help you with your mother’s therapy and medication.”

I saw a genuine smile appear on his lips. His eyes glistened with tears of joy as he hugged me once more.

Nang humarap naman ako kay Pablo ay isang mahigpit na yakap agad ang binigay ko sa kaniya. If it weren’t for him helping me throughout the process, I might not have won the case. Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa kaniya.

“We should head out. They’re waiting for us,” he said, leading the way.

When my friends came into view, I gave them a thumbs up. Halos magtatalon si Amanda at Calvin sa tuwa. Wren was smiling from ear to ear, as if he had already expected it to happen.

Nang makalapit ay niyakap ko agad si Warren. I was getting emotional in his warm embrace. Something about this hug lifted the heaviness in my heart. I felt at ease, even if just for a moment.

“Congrats,” he said while caressing my back.

Binawi ko ang sarili mula sa yakap niya. I smiled at him. “Thank you for supporting me. Your attorney Pablo is heaven sent.”

“I did not own him so don’t say the word your,” sagot niya agad.

And it wasn’t good because Pablo clearly heard it. Kitang-kita ko kung paano nabura ang ngiti sa labi niya. Lumatay ang matinding lungkot sa kaniyang mga mata. He was pained. I could feel it. Ikaw ba naman ang i-deny. Masakit talaga ’yon.

“I mean—no labels yet, right? Kaya hindi muna,” bawi ni Warren. His nervous laugh wasn’t helping him. Hindi kasi nag-iingat!

“We should celebrate this. Sa Tipsy Tavern mamaya?” pag-iiba ko ng usapan. Ayaw ko naman magkaroon ng conflict itong dalawa dahil sa akin.

““What do you all prefer? Lunch out or a night out?” I asked everyone.

“Who the hell refuses alcohol? Of course sa Tipsy Tavern tayo mamaya!” sigaw ni Calvin.

Kinandatan ko siya. Maaga pa naman kaya meron pa kaming oras para umuwi. May mga trabaho pa rin naman sila except Wren dahil naka-leave siya ngayon.

Humarap ako kay Adrian upang sabihan siyang sumama mamaya. “We’ll pick you up at your place. I’ll talk to your parents. Minsan lang naman ’to. You need to enjoy too!”

“As much as I want to join. I have a lot of things to do at home. Hindi ako makakasama,” sabi naman ni Pablo.

Nalukot ang mukha ko sabay iling. “Hindi ako papayag! The person who helped me throughout the case will not join us? No! You should come!”

I saw a weak smile on his lips. I knew right at that moment the reason he was refusing to join us.

Siniko ko si Warren at mabuti namang nakuha niya agad ang gusto kong iparating.

“Madalang lang naman. Sama ka na. I will pick you up at your unit. You can sleep over at my place. Sumama ka lang. Please?” I know this guy’s charm. It never fails.

We waited for Pablo’s answer, and we all jumped when he nodded.

A pang of jealousy hit me when Wren offered his place to Pablo. It felt strange—Wren used to treat me that way.

“I will check my schedule,” he said.

“Busy ka man o hindi, you should come. If you’re not there, I’ll make sure you do.” I smiled at him. I was good at faking my emotions, yet what I showed and said to him felt genuine. Oo, nagseselos ako sa samahan nila ni Warren, pero may parte pa rin sa akin na nagpapasalamat dahil dumating siya sa buhay namin.

We said our goodbyes to Calvin and Amanda. I thought it would be rude to celebrate our victory inside the company premises; it would be much better if we went out instead.

Sabay-sabay naming binaybay ang daan palabas. Apat na lang kami ngayon. Ako, si Warren, Pablo at si Adrian. When we reached the parking lot, Adrian said his goodbyes.

“Hahatid na kita. Dito ka na sumakay,” sabi ni Warren sa kaniya.

Umiling ito. “May kailangan pa akong puntahan. Mauna na kayo. Mamaya na lang gabi. Ingat sa pagmamaneho at sa biyahe,” dagdag niya pa.

Nagpaalam na rin kami sa kaniya bago sumakay sa kotse ni Warren. I waved at him through the open window until our car drifted away.

“I don’t know how to express my gratitude to you, Attorney Pablo. Thank you for all the help you gave,” I said from the passenger seat.

Humarap siya sa akin. “It’s my job to help you. May usap din kami ni Warren, e. Kaya it’s a win-win situation for me.”

Napansin siguro niya ang pangungunot ng noo ko kaya nilinaw niya rin agad.

“I have a client out of town this coming Wednesday, and I asked him to accompany me if I win your case with the NMC.”

“Aalis kayo?” tanong ko pa kahit na nasagot naman na ang mga tanong sa isipan ko.

Pablo nodded at me. Wren was silently driving.

“We’ll be back after three days.” Finally, Wren spoke. Akala ko ay wala siyang balak kumibo.

A tiny pinch tugged at my heart. The thought of them making memories together, spending mornings and nights side by side, exploring the beauty of the places they planned to visit, and sharing a bed every night made me feel the ache of being replaced.

I managed to force a smile, but it felt so unnatural. “That would be great! Enjoy then.” Fake.

Throughout the ride, I remained silent in my seat. They dropped me off at the Skyline Condominiums. I thanked both of them, especially Pablo, before heading inside.

Mabigat ang puso ko habang naglalakad. I never thought I would be this affected upon hearing their plans. I should be happy for Wren, right? After all, he finally has the chance to be loved by someone worthy after so many years of being single. Why the hell do I feel this way?

I was standing on Warren’s unit now. My hand was holding the knob but I was so hesitant to twist it.

Realization rushed over me. I needed to face my own ghosts. Hindi na magandang tingnan na nakikisiksik ako sa unit ni Warren dahil baka maging sanhi pa iyon ng away sa pagitan nilang dalawa ni Pablo. Meron naman ako sariling unit. I just need to kill my own agony and stop running away from reality.

I let out a deep sigh and let go of Wren’s knob. Naglakad ako patungo sa harap ng unit ko at isinaksak ang susi sa seradura nito.

Slowly, I opened the front door. The smell of Rendy’s cologne filled my nostrils. Instead of longing, a sudden rush of anger surged in my heart. He was the reason I was terminated from my job. Ganoon na lang ba niya kamahal si Francis para sirain ako ng ganito? In the first place, I had the right to be mad at him. He stole my man! Tangina nila!

Naglakad ako patungo sa living area. I settled into the coach and let my eyes wander around.

All I could see were the shared memories with Ren. No matter how hard I reminded myself that I hated him, nangingibabaw pa rin ang pagmamahal na ibinigay ko sa kaniya—na sinayang niya lang.

Every corner of this unit reminds me of the reality that he’s no longer mine. Wala na siya rito ngunit siya pa rin ang nakikita ko.

Nabibingi na ako sa katahimikan kaya naman binuksan ko ang TV at kung sinuswerte ka nga naman, sila pa ni Francis ang bumungad sa akin!

They were on a talk show as guests, and I won’t deny that they looked good together, sitting side by side and being sweet in front of the camera.

Sikat na sikat na sila. They already attended a lot of TV shows and guesting. Naabot niya na ang pangarap niya.

The interviewer asked, “I heard that you two are living together. Is that true?”

They exchanged glances and smiled. Ren was the one who answered by nodding his head.

Ang sakit naman.

I was about to turn off the TV when I remembered my realization. I didn’t need to run away; I needed to face this shit, or else I would forever run and hide from this pain.

“Explain your relationship in just three words,” the interviewer asked them.

Tumawa muna ang dalawa bago nagsalita.

Francis was the one who started. “Trust.”

Nasamid ako. Maglolokohan din kayo mga clown! Enjoy-in mo muna ngayon. Iiyak ka rin sa susunod, bakla!

“Trusting your partner is essential in a relationship, and I know he’s trustworthy enough to keep my heart; that’s why I let him have it,” paliwanag ni bading.

Napairap ako. Ang sakit niya sa tenga sa totoo lang.

“How about you Ren?” tanong ng interviewer sa kaniya.

“I must say, communication. We always do our best to communicate with each other. I’ve already learned from my past mistakes, siguro. Doon ako nagkulang. Communicating with my partner is essential. Now that we’re together, I make sure to communicate everything between us to avoid any kind of conflict.”

Hindi ko napansin na may luhang umalpas sa mga mata ko. I hurriedly wiped my tears. At least, he learned. Mas okay siguro kung na-apply niya iyon sa relasiyon namin. Hindi siguro ako iiyak-iyak ngayon at manghihinayang kahit na dakila siyang Red Flag, at isa naman akong certified Red Flag Enjoyer!

“Lastly, siguro po ay sexy,” sabi ni Francis na ikinatawa ng lahat sa set.

Pwede bang sapukin kong minsan ang baklang ’to? Grabe ang irita ko sa kaniya!

“I’ve seen his abs countless times, but honestly, he still gives me the same feeling as the first time I saw his sexiness. He’s dazzlingly hot, like always!” komento niya pa.

Kung nandiyan lang ako sa set, baka nasakal ko na siya sa kaartihan niya.

Kitang-kita ko ang pamumula ng mukha ni Ren. He’s being shy and I find it so cute. Aaminin ko, na-miss ko siya.

“I really enjoyed this moment with you guys. It’s time to say our goodbyes, but before we end the show, go on and promote your series to everyone!” sabi ng interviewer sa kanila.

They both promote their series, and people are getting addicted to them. I wouldn’t be surprised why the management wants them to be together. Two masculine, good-looking, and hot guys—it’s a perfect match everyone will stan for.

“This coming Friday, we will have a meet and greet at SM Riverside Valley. Hope to see you there, guys!” nakangiting sabi ni Ren sa camera.

So they will visit here? Great. As if namang pupunta ako?

I turned off the TV, and right after that, my phone rang, making me jump on my seat.

Si Wren lang pala! His name was flashing on the screen. I answered the call.

“Hindi na ako makakauwi. Kumain ka na. Pinilit ako ni Pablo mag-lunch out, e. Pasensiya, Win.”

Nalungkot ako siyempre pero hindi ko pinahalata.

Tumango-tango ako kahit hindi niya naman nakikita. “No worries. Enjoy your date. Bye!” I hung up.

I never thought I would be capable of experiencing this kind of heartbreak–iba’t ibang klase ng lebel. There’s the heartbreak from my previous relationship and the heartbreak from my childhood best friend finding his love. I guess I should train myself to be strong enough to enjoy my own company. Tama nga sila—no one will be there for you—at the end of the day, it’s you against the world, alone.

*

Midterm week is over so here I am, updating this novel!

Your vote will always be appreciated! Thank you 😊🍀

-Kuyasen

🚩17: Under the calming night sky

WIN

Nagpadeliver lang ako ng pizza at milk tea sa aking unit. Ginawa kong abala ang sarili sa paglilinis ng bahay ko. It’s been a while since the last time I came here and there is dust everywhere. Kahit papaano naman ay nalibang ako sa ginagawa. But honestly, I still carry this heaviness in my heart. I can no longer push away the pain of knowing that the people I love have already found their one true love. Naiwan na lang ako mag-isa—at masakit ’yon.

My sweat kept dripping from my skin. Pinunasan ko ang noo gamit ang suot na damit at saka nagtungo sa kusina upang maghugas ng kamay.

Nalinis ko na lahat. I vacuumed the whole unit and sprayed air freshener to eliminate Ren’s perfume. I also replaced all the picture frames in my room with the souvenirs I bought from the vacation trips Warren and I went on together.

Tinapon ko na iyong mga litrato namin ni Rendy. I didn’t hesitate to throw everything that reminded me of him into the trash bin. Miski iyong mga naiwan niyang damit, nilagay ko na rin sa trash bag.

I also changed my bed sheets and pillowcases, as well as the curtains and the setup of the living room. Halos baligtarin ko na ang buong unit para lang mawala ang bakas ni Rendy sa loob.

Bumalik ako sa sofa at kumuha ng isang slice ng pizza. I took a bite and sipped my milk tea. Hindi na ako nagtanghalian dahil mas trip ko ito kainin.

I was on the middle of enjoying my food when I heard the loud roar of thunder. Napalingon agad ako sa bintana at napansin ang paglagaslas ng ulan sa window pane.

I stood up. Ibinaba ko ang hawak na milk tea at inubos ko na ang hawak na pizza, saka ako nagtungo sa harap ng bintana. The heavy clouds surrounded the whole city, making it look much darker than the approaching nighttime. Hindi ko na rin namalayan ang oras. Masiyado akong nalibang sa paglilinis ng unit ko.

I walked closer to the closed window while staring at the rain, feeling the strong winds cause the rain to be terrified. I don’t know why but the pattering of raindrops on the glass was usually soothing, but now it seemed ominous, like a steady countdown.

Nabuhay ang kaba sa dibdib ko. Something about the rain brought terror to my system, as if it reminded me of something bad that was about to happen.

Then the lightning struck, and in a split second, a scene flashed before my eyes. It happened quickly, but what I saw was clear to me. There was blood everywhere. The place felt haunted, as if it had been abandoned. Madilim at walang kabuhay-buhay.

Napa-upo ako sa gulat. What was that? Iyon ang unang beses na nakaranas ako ng ganoong bagay. I’m not a psychic or what but what did I just see?

My adrenaline rushed over me. Mabilis akong nagtatakbo patungo sa phone ko. I dialed Wren’s number and in just few rings, he answered.

“Yes? Kumain ka na? Maya-maya siguro ay pupunta na kami diyan—”

“Where you at? Okay ka lang ba? Tell me? Are you okay there?” taranta kong sambit sa kaniya.

“Win, I’m fine. What happened to you? You seem tense? Napano ka?”

It took me a while to process everything. Kinuwento ko sa kaniya ang lahat nang nakita ko.

“Calm down. Papunta na kami diyan. Lock the door and don’t open it until I say so. Okay?”

“Okay. Mag-iingat kayo.”

We bid our goodbyes and ended the call. Sa takot ko ay tinawagan ko lahat ng mga kaibigan ko. I started with Amanda then Calvin. They both responded to me. Para akong nabunutan ng tinik dahil doon.

“Tuloy pa rin tayo mamaya, ah?” sabi ni Calvin.

“Oo naman,” nakangiti kong sagot pero sa totoo lang ay hindi pa rin ako nilulubayan ng matinding kaba. “Siya, sige na. I’ll hung up. Ingat, Calv!”

I was down to one last person. Si Adrian. Mabuti na lang at kinuha ko ang contact info niya kanina. Kung hindi ay mababaliw ako kakaisip ng paraan para matawagan siya.

With racing heart, I dialed his number, hoping that he would pick up my call immediately. . . but I failed.

The tension in my heart grew as I dialed his number once more, and just like the first time I called him, he did not answer.

The fifth try convinced me to follow my guts. Tangina!

I dialed Wren’s number and he answered immediately, but it wasn’t him who spoke, it was Pablo.

“Wren is currently driving. Papunta na kami diyan sa ’yo.”

“I’m afraid there’s something bad has happened to Adrian. He’s not answering my call.”

“Calm yourself. We’re on our way. Pupuntahan natin siya.”

“Thank you. Please, hurry.” Hindi na ako mapakali.

Mabilis akong nag-ayos ng sarili. I changed my sweaty clothes and dried my hair. Ni hindi na ako nakapag-half bath dahil sa kagustuhang puntahan agad si Adrian. Malakas ang kutob kong nasa kapahamakan siya at isa lang ang naiisip kong gagawa ng maaari niyang ikapapahamak kung nagkataon. If anything bad happens to him, I’m sure who is the one responsible of it.

When I went out of my room, Pablo and Wren approached me. Worry was so evident in their eyes. Salamat at nandito na sila.

“We should go,” I told them.

They didn’t say a thing. I just led the way, and in an instant, we reached the parking lot.

Sumakay na agad ako nang ma-unlock ni Wren kotse. I almost forgot that Pablo was here. Sa shotgun seat sana ako uupo.

I apologized and went in the back seat.

“I hope he’s fine. He wasn’t answering my calls!” bulalas ko sa kanila.

“Baka naman busy lang o may ginagawa. Kumalma ka lang,” sabi naman ni Warren.

“How about my premonition? How can you explain that?” Hindi ko magawang maalis sa isipan ko ’yon.

Hindi ako naging panatag sa kinalulugaran ko. I kept urging Wren to drive faster.

When Adrian’s apartment came into view, my heart started racing.

Para akong pinaglalaruan ng panahon. Napakabilis dumaan ng bagyo ngunit mapapansin ang bakas ng malakas na ulan dahil sa basang kapaligiran. Even though the surroundings were quiet, the calmness of night sky didn’t help either. I was terrified and I couldn’t bring myself to relax.

Mabilis akong lumabas ng kotse. The door wasn’t fully closed, it was slightly open. Tangina.

I ran towards the house, and my hope shattered when I heard sobs and cries.

Binuksan ko ang pinto at bumungad sa akin ang gulo ng buong lugar. It was as if a storm had rummaged through the area. Everything was shattered everywhere, but what pained me most was seeing Adrian unconscious on the floor, covered in blood. His parents were by his side, kneeling to provide him with some comfort. Their torment was clear to my ears, and it kept gripping my heart to see them this way—hopeless and in pain.

Napatingin sa akin ang mga magulang niya. I immediately saw the hope in their eyes, and that was when their tears began to flood even more.

Seeing them cry, especially his bald mother who had cancer—broken, and hopeless—crushed my heart. Tila piniga, winasiwas hanggang sa masira nang tuluyan.

They reminded me of my family.

Tumakbo ako palapit sa kanila. Isa-isang nagbagsakan ang mga luha ko nang mapansin ang mga galos sa dalawang matanda, like they were assualted too.

Tangina! RENDY! If I found out that you were behind this, I promise to take everything away from you just as quickly as you became a star phenomenon!

“A-ano pong nangyari?” nanginginig kong tanong sa kanila.

Pinulsuhan ko agad si Adrian at nabawasan ang kaba ko nang maramdaman ang heartbeat niya. He was just unconscious.

“Apat na lalaki ang pumunta rito, anak. Nanggulo sila. Tinutukan kami ng baril kaya hindi namin magawang depensahan si Adi noong pinagtutulungan ang anak namin. Tulungan mo kami, ’nak. Tulungan mo si Adi namin,” sabi ng tatay ni Adrian habang lumuluha. “Hindi ko man siya naipagtanggol sa mga ’yon! Sorry,” malumanay niya pang dagdag habang tumatangis.

I nodded exasperatedly to reassure him. Walang tigil sa pagpatak ang luha ko.

Nagpalinga-linga ako para hanapin ang mga kasama at katulad nila, kita ko ang gulat sa kanilang mga mukha.

“L-let’s bring Adrian to hospital. Hurry,” usal ko sa kanila, uutal-utal.

They helped me to carry him. Inalalayan naman ni Pablo ang matandang mag-asawa para dalhin sa kotse.

Adrian was soaked in blood. Hindi ko na siya makilala dahil halos masira na ang mukha niya. Ang akala ko nga noong nakita ko siya’y patay na ito. Huwag naman sana dahil hindi ko mapapatawad si Rendy kapag nalaman kong siya ang nasa likod nito.

“Sorry, Adrian,” bulong ko nang makatabi sa kanya sa back seat. Nakaupo na rin ang mga magulang niya kasama ko. Pablo entered the shotgun seat, and Wren hurriedly sped off the car.

“Sorry po. Hindi ko po naisip na maaari niyang gawin ’to sa inyo,” iyak ko.

Ako ang nasa pinakagilid. Napapagitnaan namin si Adrain ng mama niya at ang papa niya naman ang nasa kabilang gilid ng backseat.

“Sorry po at nadamay pa kayo sa gulo ko,” hingi kong paumanhin sa mga magulang niya.

I was expecting them to throw anger at me and fire hurtful words, but that was the opposite of what I expected. Adrian’s mother held my hand as if she understood everything that had happened.

“Huwag mong sisihin ang sarili mo, anak. Magiging maayos din ang lahat. May awa ang Panginoon.” Her tears glistened, causing my heart to break even more.

“Sorry po,” halos pabulong ko na sabi, walang hinto ang luha sa pagpatak.

This time, Adrian’s father held my hand as well. He nodded at me, and the small smile on his lips reminded me of the bright skies that follow a tragic storm.

God! Did I deserve this kind of family?

I silently pray that everything will be okay and that the rainbow will shine right after the chaos of the storm. My hope hasn’t vanished because of the people who give me strength. They serve as pillars to support me in my downfall.

Nadala namin si Adrian sa ospital. He needed to undergo surgery to stitch up the deep wounds. Kailangan niyang ma-admit kaya hindi ako nagdalawang isip na sumang-ayon.

“Wala kaming ibabayad, anak,” sabi ng nanay ni Adrian.

May kirot sa dibdib ko. I walked toward her and held her hand. “Ako po ang bahala, nay. Huwag po kayong mag-alala. Ako po ang sasagot sa lahat ng gastusin dito.”

Private room ang kinuha ko kay Adrian para matutukan siya. We waited for hours. Naipagamot ko na rin ang mga magulang ni Adrian at mabuti na lang na puro gasgas lang ang natamo nila.

The doctor finally came out of the emergency room to see us.

“Kayo po ba ang magulang ng pasiyente?” tanong nito sa kasama naming mag-asawa.

They both nodded their heads, hoping for a good news.

“Maayos na po ang anak niyo,” he stopped and looked us, like as if being careful. “But I detected internal bleeding in his head.”

Halos mawalan ako ng lakas nang marinig ’yon. Good thing, Warren was beside me to catch me if I fell.

“It’s only a minimal internal bleeding. We just need to run some test and observe him until the bleeding dissolves. It’s not life-threatening, ma’am and sir. You’re son is fine.” Nagpaalam na sa amin ang doktor matapos ipagbigay alam ang balita.

Malaking bigat sa dibdib ko ang nawala. I hugged Warren after hearing the news. Nawala sa isip ko na kasama namin si Pablo at kahit na hindi niya sabihin, kita ko ang selos sa mga mata niya.

Hindi ko na lang pinaglaanan ng pansin iyon. Nagtungo ako sa mag-asawa at niyakap din sila.

“Kayo lang po ang maaaring manatili sa ospital kasama si Adrian. Hahatiran na lang po namin kayo ng pagkain at mga gamit, damit. Babalik po kami para sa inyo,” sabi ko.

“Maraming salamat, ’nak. Maraming salamat.” Muli akong niyakap ng tumatangis na ina ni Adrian.

Masaya ako na walang malalang nangyari kay Adrian bukod sa mga sugat nito. Sa isang banda, nabuhay ang matinding galit sa puso ko. Kailangan kong malaman kung sino ang nasa likod ng karahasang ito at isang tao lang ang alam kong siyang may gawa nito.

Humarap ako kay Pablo.

“Attorney,” pagkuha ko ng attention niya. “If I will file a lawsuit against Ren, what do you think the case I can file against him?”

I saw the shock in his eyes that eventually turned to determination. Tinanguan niya ako, at alam kong nakuha niya na ang nais kong ipabatid.

I will avenge you, Adrian. Hindi ako hihinto hangga’t hindi nakakamit ang hustisiya sa ginawang ito ni Rendy sa ’yo.

*

2

,131 final word count

It’s getting nore exciting, right? ☺️

Vote for this chapter to help me promote my novel. Thank you!

-S3N

🚩18: Darkness of the unit

WIN

Wednesday came blissfully, the day Warren and Pablo were set to go out of town. Sa sabado pa ang balik nila kaya matagal-tagal akong mag-iisa sa unit. No trace of them anywhere, no shoulders to cry on whenever I need to share the heaviness in my heart. May plano rin naman ako ngayong Biyernes at wala pa akong balak na sabihan kay Warren ang tungkol doon dahil alam kong hindi niya ako pahihintulutan. Siguro ay sasabihin ko sa kanila oras na malayo na sila.

Hinintay ko silang lumabas ng unit ni Warren. Gusto ko kasi silang ihatid sa parking lot dahil alam kong mami-miss ko ang presensiya nilang dalawa. Mahaba rin ang apat na araw!

Nang makalabas sila ay sumalubing agad ako ng yakap kay Pablo.

“See you by Saturday,” I said when I ended the hug I gave to him.

Happiness was clearly evident in his eyes. Alam ko kasing masaya siya dahil pumayag si Warren na sumama sa lakad nito.

I looked at my best friend and wrapped him in an embrace.

“My phone’s always online if you need someone to talk to, okay? Tawag ka lang anytime,” he reminded me. Nakakulong pa rin ako sa yakap niya. “Lock the doors. Don’t skip meals. Update me every now and then, okay?” he added and kissed the top of my head.

Lumayo ako sa kaniya. I didn’t want to look at Pablo because I knew he saw everything. He witnessed how sweet and tender Wren was with me, and it would surely make him jealous. There was nothing I could do about it. Wren is still my best friend, and his gestures are beyond my control now. Hindi ko na maiaalis sa kaniya ang pagiging likas na malambing. Bahala na si Pablo sa selos niya.

“Enjoy the short vacation, love birds. Tawagan niyo ako sa messenger, ah!” I joked and patted their shoulders.

Hinatid ko sila sa parking lot. When they both got into the car, I waved goodbye, and they responded with smiles and nods.

I will miss these guys.

Nang makaalis sila ay bumalik ako sa aking unit. Nahagip ng paningin ko ang aking phone na nasa sofa sa living room kaya naman dinampot ko ito.

Honestly, the night after Adrian’s incident, I planned to call Rendy and ask him, but I knew I needed to think ahead. Sinong tanga ang aamin na siya ang may pakana ng lahat ng ito, ’di ba? That time, the surge of my emotions were so strong. Mabuti na lang at nakontrol ko kaya hindi ako naging padalos-dalos. Now that I’m calm and sane, I think this is the best time to call him.

I opened my contacts and searched his name.

Ren ko❤️

Hindi ko pa pala napapalitan ang pangalan niya. Kailangan kong ibahin ito kaya hindi na ako nagdalawang isip na palitan ito ng “Rendy”

.

May kinalikot lang ako saglit sa phone ko. Screen record. Kung mapapaamin ko siya’y magagamit ko itong ebidensiya laban sa kaniya.

Nang mayari ay tinawagan ko na ito. My heart was racing, and when he answered my call, hearing his voice brought a flood of emotions to my system. Saya, lungkot, panghihinayang at ang pagkapoot. Hindi ko maaaring kalimutan kung bakit ako gumawa ng tawag ngayon. There’s one thing I want to clear about.

“Anong kailangan mo, Win?”

Napapikit ako nang mariin. My hands were trembling because of anger. Naalala ko si Adrian. Hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin itong malay. Patuloy na nagpapagaling sa ospital.

“Alam ko na, Ren, kung ano ang mga pinaggagawa mo. No need to deny everything,” sabi ko.

Saglit na namayani ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa hanggang sa marinig ko ang pagtawa niya sa kabilang linya. Mas lalong nag-alit ang galit sa puso ko.

“Deserve mo naman ’yan. Miski ang nananahimik na si Francis ay dinamay mo. You don’t have idea how that car matters to him. It was a gift from his deceased mother, Win. Tapos sinira mo lang! Kulang pa iyang masesante ka sa trabaho mo. Kulang pa ’yang ipon mo pambayad sa kotse na ’yon.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa narinig. I’m not sure if he’s telling the truth but there’s no reason of him to create stories. Kaya ba ganoon na lang ang kagustuhan niyang makaganti sa akin? Kasi nasaktan ko si Francis at saksi siya sa mga pinagdaanan nito?

E, ako? Hindi niya ba naisip ang mararamdaman ko noong nakita ko silang nagse-sex sa loob ng kotse noon?

“Okay lang sana na ako na lang ang gantihan mo, Ren, pero bakit pati si Adrian dinamay mo? Bakit. . . bakit pati mga magulang niya dinamay mo pa?” Nagbagsakan ang mga luha ko.

“What are you talking about?”

“Huwag ka nang magmaang-maangan, Ren! Alam kong binalikan mo si Adrian dahil naging testigo siya sa kasong balak kong isampa sa NMC!”

Narinig ko ang pagmura niya.

Humina ang boses niya sa kabilang linya pero narinig ko pa rin nang malinaw ang sinabi niya sa kausap.

“Harrem! Bakit niyo dinamay ang mga magulang ni Adrian? Mga tanga talaga kayo!”

“Ang kulit kasi, boss. Pasensiya na. Galos lang naman po ang natamo nila. Hindi naman sobrang malala. Pasensiya na, boss,” dinig kong sabi ng kausap niya.

Because of that, I already knew he was the one behind all of this.

Napakuyom ako ng aking kamao sa matinding galit. I closed my eyes as tears flowed freely down my cheeks.

“Hindi ako papayag na hindi nabibigyan ng hustisya ang ginawa mo sa kaniya. He’s in the hospital and there’s an internal bleeding in his head. Halos durugin niyo ang mukha ni Adrian. Naisip mo ba na siya lang ang gumagawa ng paraan para mapagamot ang nanay niyang may cancer? He even agreed with you, knowing it was wrong and inhumane, but he did it to provide for his family. And yet, you didn’t hesitate to harm him! You nearly killed him, Rendy!” Every word was spoken with strong diction to make him realize the damage he had done to innocent Adrian.

“Wala sana akong balak magsampa ng kaso sa’yo, Ren, dahil pinanghahawakan ko pa rin ang mga pinagsamahan natin. Na minahal din kita nang sobra-sobra, pero dahil sa ginawa mo kay Adrian at sa mga magulang niya, buo na ang desisiyon kong idaan lahat ng ito sa korte. Ipinapangako ko sa ’yong makukulong ka at tatanggalin ko lahat ng meron ka ngayon, kung gaano kabilis mo nakuha lahat ng mga ’yan.” Ibinaba ko ang tawag. My chest rose and fell rapidly as I struggled to catch my breath. Sobrang sama ng loob ko dahil sa nalaman.

A smile crossed my lips when I saw that I had successfully recorded our call. Meron na akong ebidensiya kaya mas malakas ang loob kong makukulong siya. Magdudusa siya dahil deserve niya ’yon! Deserve niyang mahirapan sa loob ng kulungan!

Naupo ako sa sofa. Ibinaba ko ang hawak na cellphone at saka umiyak nang umiyak. Dumagsa ang bugso ng damdamin ko. Sa lahat ng mga nangyayari, sa mga bagay na nagpapahirap sa akin, at sa reyalisasiyong hindi pa rin ako makausad sa pagmamahal ko kay Rendy. Noong narinig ko ang boses niya, nanumbalik lahat ng pagmamahal ko. Na-miss kong kausap siya, na-miss ko ang presensiya niya rito sa loob ng unit ko kaya ngayang inililibot ko ng tingin ang buong kwarto ay tila ba pinipiga ang puso ko dahil sa mga multo ng ala-ala na binuo namin nang magkasama.

I love a monster. It’s forbidden, but the bittersweetness it brings is something I can’t help but crave.

Tama na, Win. Palayain mo na ang sarili mo.

In my middle of breaking down, my phone started ringing.

Warren’s calling…

Inayos ko muna ang sarili. Tinuyo ang pisngi at saka huminga nang malalim. Baka mahalata niyang umiiyak ako lalo na’t video call ito.

“Hi!” Pinasigla ko ang boses nang lumitaw sila sa screen ng phone ko.

Naka-stop over sila sa isang restaurant. Mukhang kumakain.

“Kumain ka na ba—Win? Did you cry?”

Iniwas ko ang sarili sa camera nang bumagsak ang aking mga luha. Kilalang-kilala talaga ako ni Warren. His soft voice’s not helping me. Mas lalo lang akong naiyak.

Inayos ko muna ang sarili bago bumalik sa tawag. This time, Pablo was also in the frame, as if waiting for me to appear. They both looked concern.

“What happened, Win? Are you okay?”

I’m not okay, Wren.

Umiling ako kasabay ng mga luhang nagpulasan sa aking mga mata. “I talked to Rendy to know if he’s really the one behind the incident with Adrian and I confirmed it was really him.”

Parehas silang nagulat sa mga sunod kong sinabi, “I want to file a lawsuit against him, Attorney Pablo. Can you please help me with it?”

Tumango si Pablo sa akin. I told them my plans, and they seemed taken aback it. Hindi siguro inaasahan ni Warren na magagawa kong makaisip ng ganoong plano. Alam niya kasing mahal na mahal ko si Rendy.

“Since I am not there with you, I can contact my friend lawyer to help you out. He’ll guide you on process. I’ll tell him to contact you, okay?”

Tumango-tango ako sa kaniya.

Malaking bigat sa dibdib ko ang napawi sa pag-uusap namin ng mga kaibigan. I bid my goodbyes and ended the call.

Nag-umpisa akong asikasuhin ang mga kailangan para sa lawsuit kay Rendy. Iyong mga ebidensiya ko ay sininop ko lahat lalo na ang recorded call naming dalawa dahil malaking bagay ito para maproseso ang kaso laban sa kaniya.

The next day, I went to hospital to visit Adrian and his parents. Nagdala ako ng mga prutas at pagkain para sa mag-asawa. Wala pa rin kasing malay si Adrian simula noong na-admit siya rito.

“Sumabay ka na kaya sa amin, ’nak?” tanong ng tatay ni Adrian sa akin.

Umiling ako. “May aasikasuhin pa po ako. Kumain po kayo ng marami.”

Nginitian ko sila parehas. Bumalik na sa pagkain ang tatay ni Adrian ngunit ang nanay niya ay nakatitig pa rin sa akin habang may malungkot na ngiti sa mukha.

“Maraming salamat sa kabutihan mo, ’nak,” sabi nito sa akin. Bigla na lang umagos ang luha niya.

Ngumiti ako sa matanda. Lumapit ako sa kaniya at lumuhod sa harapan nito. I looked her directly in her eyes.

“Para ko na po kayong mga magulang. Nakikita ko po kasi sa inyo ang nanay at tatay ko kaya sa tuwing bumibisita ako rito, parang kasama ko na rin sila dahil sa inyo, kaya dapat po yatang ako ang magpasalamat sa inyo,” maluha-luha kong sabi sa kaniya, sa kanila.

“Lagpas dalawang taon na rin po noong huling uwi ko sa amin. Hindi po kami ayos ng mga magulang ko dahil hindi po sila boto kay Rendy noon, gawa po ng klase ng buhay na meron si Rendy. Hindi rin po sila okay sa same-sex relationship kaya po hindi naging maayos ang pag-alis ko sa bahay.” I think they deserve to know a piece of my life. Sila ang nagiging rason kung bakit naiibsan ang lungkot ko’t pagka-miss sa mga magulang. Kaya ganoon na lang ang galit ko kay Rendy nang malaman na pati sila ay dinamay sa gulo naming dalawa.

Niyakap ako ng matandang babae. Sumunod na rin ang asawa niya. Kinulong nila ako sa napakainit nilang yakap at sa unang pagkakataon matapos ang napakahabang pagtitiis at hindi pakikipag-ugnayan sa mga magulang ko ay tila ba nagtapos na ang hidwaan namin kahit na hindi ko pa sila nakakausap. Pakiramdam ko ay nandito sila, yakap-yakap ako.

“Kausapin mo na sila, ’nak. Naghihintay na sila sa pagbabalik mo,” sabi ng nanay ni Adrian sa akin.

Tumango-tango ako sa kaniya kasabay nang pagpatak ng aking mga luha.

Naglaan pa ako ng kaunting minuto sa silid ni Adrian bago nagpaalam sa kanila. Nagtungo ako sa front desk upang kuhanin ang pakay. Nandito ako upang kuhanin ang medical records ni Adrian dahil pwedeng gamitin din itong mga testigo laban kay Rendy.

Ayos na lahat ng mga kailangan ko. I messaged Attorney Marco, Pablo’s lawyer friend, about the venue where we planned to meet.

Gutom na rin ako kaya sa isang seafood buffet ko naisipang makipagkita. Simula kagabi pa kasi ako hindi kumakain.

Nang makita si Attorney Marco ay pumasok na kami sa restaurant. I think he’s older than me. His intimidating aura and professionalism were undeniable. Dressed with coat and tie, masasabi ko talagang karespe-respeto. In fairness, guwapo rin ang isang ’to kahit na may salamin.

Once we were settled at our table, we began discussing our agenda. He listened attentively, offering suggestions every now and then. Nang mayari ay nagtungo agad kami sa Riverside Valley Police station to file the lawsuit. It’s conspiracy to commit a crime, relevant to both my case and Adrian’s situation.

Ang tagal namin sa istasiyon para iproseso ang lahat. Dahil may kasama akong attorney ay naging madali na lang din ang lahat kahit papaano. Sinabi ko na rin ang balak kong mangyari bukas at kung saan nila pwede damputin ang tao na balak kong ipakulong. They were processing the arrest warrant but they assure me that it can be effective tomorrow to accomplish my plan.

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang mayari ang lahat. I thanked Attorney Marco for everything and invited him to my home for dinner, but he declined, saying he had to meet another client afterward.

Nakakahiya man pero hinatid niya na pa ako sa Skyline Condominiums dahil may kotse naman siya. I thanked him before saying my goodbyes.

Nang makapagpaalam ay nagtungo na ako sa aking floor, sa aking unit. Nagkalat na ang bituin sa kalangitan. Inabot din kami ng gabi sa mga inasikaso at pinag-usapan namin ni Attorney Marco. Masasabi kong ubos na ubos na ako sa pagod simula noong inasikaso ko iyong mga papeles na magagamit namin laban kay Rendy hanggang sa maayos namin ang proseso para bukas.

When I entered my unit, I closed the door and removed my shoes. My eyes were still adjusting to the darkness of the room, but I was aware that someone was inside. My heart began to race, an intruder was in my house!

Nagtungo ako sa switch para buksan ang ilaw at nang mapindot ito at magliwanag ang buong lugar ay bigla na lang nahulog ang puso ko sa bumungad sa akin.

“R-rendy. . . ?”

*

Mas nagiging exciting na ang kwento. Share me your thoughts in the comment section below. Thank you ❤️

-S3N

🚩19: Away from city

WIN

He was sitting on the sofa that facing my direction. Ang mga siko niya ay nakapatong sa magkabilang tuhod, at diretso lang ang kaniyang tingin sa akin.

A smile suddenly appeared on his lips.

Kumabog na parang tanga ang dibdib ko. Not because I’m nervous, but something about this heartbeat tells me I’ve been longing for this guy. Now that he’s here with me, I just can’t calm myself down. It’s been a while since we last saw each other. Natatakot ako dahil nanumbalik lahat nang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya. I should hate him for everything he did, but my heart keeps reminding me that he’s the same Ren I loved before.

“You’re finally home,” he said in that soft voice, as if thankful to see me again.

Pumatak ang luha sa aking mga mata. Iba pa rin na naririnig ko sa personal ang boses niya. Sobra-sobra kong na-miss ang presensiya ni Rendy sa loob ng unit ko.

Ngumiti ako, nagpapanic kung ano ba ang marapat kong sabihin sa kaniya.

“K-kumain ka na ba? K-kanina ka pa rito? B-buti nabisita ka. Saglit, i-ipaghahanda kita ng pagkain o maiinom.” Lalapit sana ako sa kaniya upang ibaba ang mga dala kong gamit nang tumawa siya. His laughter filled my entire unit. His maniacal laughter reminded me of everything he did on purpose and the damage he caused to me and Adrian’s family.

I’m no longer looking at the man I once loved with all my heart, but at someone who wished for my misery.

“Saglit lang naman ako rito, Win. You don’t have to do this. Nakakatawa ka naman,” sambit niya at saka tumayo sa kinauupuan.

He began to walk slowly in my direction.

Nagulat na lang ako nang bumukas ang pinto ng unit ko at saka iniluwa nito ang dalawang maskuladong lalaki. They were dressed in coats and ties, and wore sunglasses as if the sunlight blinding them. Tumindig sila sa pinto na tila ba hinaharangan ito matapos itong maisara.

“You want me to go in jail? Win, nakalimutan mo na ba ang mga pinasamahan natin? Huh?” His voice was so soothing, it felt like it touched the bare depths of my heart.

Win! Huwag kang magpadala sa panlilinlang niya! Remember Adrian, his parents! The damage it caused him and his family — your heart.

When Ren reached me, his hand touched my neck. His fingers trailed up to my lips, and he pressed them with his index finger, smiling at me.

“Baka naman p’wede nating madaan sa maayos na usap ito, Win,” malumanay na sabi niya.

Hindi ako sumagot. My tears kept flowing, born out of shock and longing.

“Baka p’wede iurong mo na ang kaso sa akin. Pakiusap, gagawin ko ang lahat para lang huwag mo nang ituloy ang kaso na ’yon.” His face drew nearer, and when he was just inches away, he stopped, locking his eyes on mine as if urging me to agree with him.

“Please, Win,” he whispered, and his lips met mine.

The sweetness rushed back, flooding me with all the memories we shared, all the kisses we exchanged, and the happiness we experienced together.

God knows how much I missed him.

But this isn’t right.

Bahagya ko siyang itinulak palayo sa akin. Kitang-kita ang pagkagulat sa mga mata niya. Alam niyang mahal na mahal ko siya at alam niya kung paano ako paikutin sa kaniyang palad ngunit sa pagkakataong ito, hindi na ako magpapadala pa sa pagmamahal na meron ako para sa kaniya, dahil matagal nang natapos ang malasakit niya sa akin. He’s no longer the Ren that I loved.

Umiling-iling ako. “I’m not doing it for myself, Ren. I’m doing it for Adrian and his family. I told you, I don’t have any plans to file a lawsuit against you, but when you harmed Adrian and his parents, that’s when I needed to do something—not for me, but for the people I care about.”

Nag-alit ang galit sa mga mata niya. He nodded couple of times, and in just a swift motion, he did something I didn’t expect.

May itinusok siya sa aking braso. It was a syringe. Hindi na ako nakaiwas pa at huli na dahil naitarak niya na ito sa aking braso.

Ang bigat noon sa pakiramdam. Something about it causes my vision to turn dizzy.

Napaluhod ako. Everything started getting blurry until I could no longer feel my own body. I collapsed to the ground without feeling any pain. I felt numb, as if my heart was slowly fading with each beat. Mamamatay na ba ako?

Even though my vision isn’t completely clear, I can still see Rendy’s silhouette in front of me. I never expected that the man I once loved is the same man who now wants me to disappear.

*

My body was so tired when I felt the cold air on my bare skin. Hilong-hilo pa ako nang iminulat ko ang aking mga mata.

My heart was pounding so loud as I found myself inside an abandoned room. Halatang napaglumaan na ng panahon. The curtains swayed with the cold breeze that entered the room. Madumi kahit saan. Even the glass windows were broken, with shattered glass everywhere.

Meron akong busal sa bibig at nakatali ako sa isang bangkuan na kahoy. There was a hanging bulb on the ceiling, flickering faintly. This place looked so haunted. The darkness outside wasn’t helping either.

Where am I? Where did Rendy bring me? Tangina! Why did you let your guard down, Win? He obviously interfered with your lawsuit to get away with his murder!

Kumakalam na ang sikmura ko pero wala akong magawa. It was so impossible of me to escape. Sobrang kapal ng tali na nakagapos sa akin. I never thought he could do this to me.

I tried to scream. Nagwala ako nang nagwala ngunit sadiyang pagod na ang katawan ko. I’m hopeless.

Suddenly, the door creaked, indicating that someone had entered the room.

Nag-angat ako ng ulo at bumungad sa akin ang isang lalaking nakasuot ng coat and tie. Mukhang tao ito ni Rendy.

“Gising ka na pala. Teka, tatawagin ko lang si Boss,” sabi nito sa akin saka muli akong iniwan.

Sinubukan ko ulit magpumiglas, umaasa na makakatakas ako sa pagkakagapos pero napaka-imposible noon.

Then Rendy entered with a victorious smile on his lips.

“I won’t let you take away all my hard work, Win. Not now, when I’m finally making a name for myself in the industry,” he said through gritted teeth.

I tried to say something but the cloth in my mouth was blocking my voice.

He walked to me and removed it.

I gasped for air before talking. “You’re getting out of your mind, Ren!”

Tumawa siya. He crossed his arms and looked sternly into my eyes, sending shivers down my spine. It felt like I was staring at a completely different person.

His fame had consumed him.

“You’re not going to win, loser. Isn’t it ironic that your name is Win, yet you always lose in life?” he said, laughing.

“You failed me. You failed our relationship. Maghahanap ba ako ng iba kung sapat ka? No. You’re not beneficial to me anymore. Ginamit lang naman kita para may matirhan ako nang maayos at magkaroon ng extra money. Malaki naman sahod mo kaya nagtagal ako pero sa totoo lang, Win? Sukang-suka ako sa ’yo. Sobrang delusiyonal mo sa pag-ibig! Kaya nga hindi ko magawang mahalin ka dahil masyado kang mabait. Ni minsan ba hindi mo napansin o nahalata man lang na ginagamit lang kita? Akala mo ba’y hindi ko alam ang palayaw sa akin ng mga kaibigan mo at ni Warren? Red flag! At ikaw naman ang tangang red flad enjoyer!”

May parte sa pagkatao ko ang gumuho. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Sobrang nilalamukos ang dibdib ko sa sakit ng mga salitang narinig mula sa kaniya. Ginamit lang pala ako? All along, ako lang ang nagmamahal sa aming dalawa? Ganoon na ba ako masiyadong nagmahal sa puntong hindi ko napansing ginagamit niya lang ako?

Bumuhos ang aking mga luha. Parang sinasaksak paulit-ulit ang dibdib ko. Hindi ko namang inaasahan na may isasakit pa pala ang mga ginagawa sa akin ni Rendy. Putangina. May part two pa pala ang kagaguhang ’to?

“Ngayon alam mo na? Bakit umiiyak ka? Na-realize mo kung gaano ka katanga? Inilaban mo pa ako sa pamilya mo, Win, pero dahil talunan ka, tinakwil ka nila. Bading ka kasi. Parehas kayo ni Francis. Mga tanga! Pero dahil beneficial pa siya sa akin, gagamitin ko muna siya kung gaano kita pinakinabangan noon,” sambit niya at saka humikab.

“Inantok na ako kakahintay sa paggising mo. Babalik na kasi kami sa Riverside Valley dahil may event at Fan Meet pa bukas, ’di ba? Naalala mo? Dito ka muna, ha? Dito ka na lang habang buhay.” Tumalikod na siya sa akin pero buong lakas ko pa ring sinabi ang mga salitang nakalambitin sa dulo ng aking dila.

“Magbabayad ka sa batas, Ren. Hindi ka makakatakas,” sabi ko. Huminto lang siya pero hindi na ito humarap sa akin.

Napansin kong kinausap niya iyong isang lalaki na alipores niya. Tumango lang ito kay Ren at nang makaalis si Rendy ay lumapit sila sa akin.

Apat na lalaki. Lahat sila’y naka coat and tie, may mga sunglasses kahit na gabi na. Mga tanga ba ang mga ito?

“Huwag niyo masiyadong saktan. Unti-unti lang daw sabi ni boss,” sabi noong lalaki na kinausap ni Rendy kanina. Nakatayo ito sa may pinto.

They began to hit me, punch me and, assault me. Halos sumuka na ako ng dugo nang huminto sila.

“Tama na ’yan. Hayaan niyo na siyang magpahinga,” sabi noong isa.

Wala na akong lakas kaya hindi ko na magawang makaupo nang maayos. Ang ulo ko ay kusa na lang bumabagsak sa pagod, gutom at sa dami ng natamo kong sugat mula sa pambubugbog nila.

What did I do to experience this? Naging masama ba ako sa aking past life para magdusa ngayon sa kasalukuyan?

“Warren, please find me,” bulong ko sa hangin bago kainin ng dilim ang aking paningin.

*

WARREN

Hindi ako nakatulog. It’s already past 3 AM, and I’m still trying to call Win on his number. I did everything to reach out to him, but to no avail.

Simula noong nakaraang araw ay hindi ko na siya nakausap. Iyong huli ay noong sinabi niyang nakausap na nito si Rendy at nakumpirmang ang ex niya ang siyang nasa likod ng pananakit kay Adrian at sa mga magulang nito. Sobra na akong nag-aalala para kay Win. He usually sends me goodnight messages when I’m not around, and this is the first time he hasn’t sent one.

Suddenly, I felt Pablo’s arm wrap around my body. Magkatabi kami matulog. He’s fast asleep since he has an agenda for tomorrow and needs to rest. Miski siya ay apektado na rin sa amin ni Win.

“He’s still not answering?” he asked me with a husky voice. Naalimpungatan yata sa ingay ng pag-ring ng phone ko.

Umiling ako sa kaniya. “Ring lang nang ring. No response since yesterday. Nag-aalala na ako nang sobra.”

Sumeryoso ang mukha niya. Binawi niya ang kamay na nakayakap sa akin at saka lumayo. Kita ko ang lungkot sa kaniyang mga mata kahit na maliit na lamd shade lang ang nagsisilbi naming liwanag sa silid.

“Mahal mo si Win, ano?”

I was taken aback. Wala naman akong pinagsasabihan dahil sinasarili ko lang.

“You don’t have to deny it, Wren. Kita ko naman. Umasa lang ako na baka piliin mo ako o kaya naman makakita ako ng pag-asa sa atin kapag sumama ka rito sa akin.” Huminto siya, naupo sa kama at saka tinanggal ang kumot na nakabalot sa kaniyang katawan.

“Hindi naman ako tanga para hindi mahalata na may pagtingin ka sa best friend mo. Kitang-kita na kasi. Sadiyang manhid lang si Win dahil wala talaga siyang ideya na siya ang laman ng puso mo,” paliwanag niya at saka itinuro ang dibdib ko.

Pumatak ang luha sa mga mata niya. “Bukas. If you want to go back to Riverside Valley to check on him, hahayaan kita. Sino ba naman ako para hadlangan ka, ’di ba?”

Muling pumatak ang mga luha sa mga mata niya. I went near him and wiped his tears away.

“Huwag mo na akong tratuhin na ganito. Huwag mo na akong paasahin, Wren. Pa-fall ka kasi,” pagbibiro niya pa sabay tabig ng kamay ko upang siya na mismo ang magpahid ng sariling luha.

“If you see him, promise me that you will confess. If he takes you down, I will keep pursuing you until I win your heart. Promise me?” Walang hinto sa pagpatak ang luha niya.

I nodded and hugged him. Pablo’s selflessness made me respect him even more. He made way for me, respected my situation, and analyzed my relationship with Win. He even gave me an understanding condition that I would surely follow.

Am I ready to confess?

If Win refuses me, I think it’s about time to free myself and love someone who is willing to love me the way I love Win.

I deserve that love, too.

“Just stay here until morning. I want you to drive when you’re well-rested. Ayaw kong mag-alala sa ’yo dahil hinayaan kitang umalis ngayon nang wala pang tulog. Just stay here, okay?” said Pablo, to which I replied with a nod.

If I am the man destined for this guy, I will surely be a lucky one.

Win, wait for me. I will go home to see you again. I can’t wait to be with you.

*

Jusko! Win! Mababaliw na ako sa tao na ito! Sana maging ayos lang siya sa next update.

Share your thoughts in the comment section below. Thankyou! 😘❤️

-S3N

🚩20: On The Performing Stage

WARREN

Hinatid ako ni Pablo sa labas ng apartment na nirentahan niya. Bakas ang lungkot sa mga mata nito ngunit kung magpapadala ako sa mga pinapakita niya’y mapapabayaan ko naman si Win.

“Mag-iingat ka sa biyahe,” sambit niya.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya at saka yumakap. He responded to me. The moment I felt his arms around my body, I felt secured and guarded. It’s been a while since the last time I felt this kind of feeling, mula pa sa taong hindi pa nakikita ang halaga ko, ang pagmamahal ko.

Hindi mahirap mahalin si Pablo. Nasa kaniya na halos lahat. Mula sa magandang propesiyon, magandang pangangatawan, kaaya-ayang ugali, mukha na akala mo ay hinulma sa ganda nang pagkakagawa. Sobrang s’werte ko sa kaniya ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ay si Win pa rin ang tinitibok ng puso ko. Iyong tao pa na hindi marunong makiramdam. Sinubukan ko namang mahalin si Pablo. Kaya nga hinayaan ko siyang manligaw, e. Pero tama nga siya, kailangan kong sundin ang puso ko. Dahil sa mga sinabi niya sa akin ay parang nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob. Kung sakaling hindi kagaya ng pagmamahal ko ang nararamdaman ni Win para sa akin, panahon na siguro para sumuko. Sobrang daming taon akong nagmahal nang palihim sa taong bulag mula sa labis niyang pagmamahal sa maling tao. Kung mare-reject ako ay oras na siguro para buksan ko ang puso sa iba, na kagaya ni Pablo. Tao na handang ibalik ang pagmamahal na kaya kong ibigay sa kaniya.

“Thank you,” bulong ko habang nilulubos ang init ng yakap nito.

Nang humiwalay ako ay maaliwas na ang kaniyang mukha. I can no longer see any trace of sadness in his eyes. Isang yakap lang pala ay sapat na para mapasaya ko siyang muli. Nakakalungkot din na makita siyang masaktan nang ganito. Marami na rin siyang nagawa sa amin ni Win, naisakripiaiyo, lalo na sa kaso ni Win sa NMC, at hindi siya nagpabayad doon. Kaya deserve niya lahat ng ito, na masamahan ko sa probinsiya kaso nagkaroon naman ng aberya.

“Babawi ako sa ’yo kapag nakabalik ka na sa Riverside Valley. Pangako ’yan,” nakangiti kong sabi sa kaniya.

“Promise?” he asked.

Tumango ako. “Promise!”

Matapos ang maikling paalamanan kay Pablo ay nag-umpisa na ako sa mahabang pagmamaneho. There were questions running in my mind every now and then. Kahit nasa biyahe ako ay sinubukan ko pa ring tawagan ang best friend ko ngunit kagaya lang din kahapon, he wasn’t responding to my calls. That’s not normal of him. He never ignored any calls I made or the text messages I sent him. That’s why I almost lost my mind, wondering if he was okay in Riverside Valley.

Kahit walang amusal at gutom ay hindi ko magawang huminto sa fastfood para kumain, o kahit mag drive thru man lamang. I just want to see Win as early as possible. I don’t want this feeling. Something about this is not right. Sana lang ay mali ako, na natutulog lang si Win sa unit niya kapag nakauwi na ako ng Skyline. O, baka may emergency na lakad at naiwan lang ang phone kaya hindi niya ako masagot.

Kinain din ng halos apat na oras ang biyahe nang makabalik ako sa Riverside Valley. I drove straight to the parking lot of the Skyline Condominiums and jumped on the elevator to go on our floor.

My heart was racing so fast as if I was part of a marathon contest.

Nang makatapak ako sa palapag namin ay may kung anong kaba sa puso ko. Ayaw ko nang ganito! Pakiramdam ko ay mababaliw ako.

Since I have a spare key of Win’s unit, I wasted no time and opened his unit only to find nothing.

I called his name, once, twice. I searched him everywhere but there was no any trace of his presence until I saw his things on the couch.

“Fuck! Where are you, Win?” I said to myself, frustrated. Nakita ko ang phone nya sa loob ng bag nito.

How can I find you?

I ran away from his condo unit. I checked my unit first just to make sure if he really wasn’t around. The frustration it brought me wasn’t helping. Wala talaga ang best friend ko! Nawawala si Win!

I sent a message to Pablo about the news. Hindi naman mag-iiwan ng phone si Win sa bahay niya lalo na kung may lalakarin ito kaya naging sapat na rason iyon upang magtungo ako sa Riverside Valley Police Station para mag-report.

“Sir, sa katunayan po ay galing po rito si Sir Del Cino kahapon para po magsampa ng kaso sa artisitang si Rendy Hiseo. Sigurado po ba kayong nawawala si Sir Del Cino ngayon?” tanong sa akin ng isang officer.

Tumango ako. “I was trying to contact him since yesterday but he wasn’t answering my calls. The last time I talked to him was when he told us about his conversation with his ex, which is Rendy, and after that, Win no longer text or update us.” Magkahalong kaba, takot at inis ang nararamdaman ko. Sana ay ayos lang si Win ngayon kung nasaan man siya.

“Since he filed a lawsuit against Sir Hiseo. We are still going to continue it according to his plan. Kailangan ko lang po ang mga detalye patungkol kay Sir Del Cino, Sir,” sabi sa akin ng officer.

I told him everything about Win. Even the shirt he was wearing when we had our video call.

“We will keep you updated, Sir,” sabi nito sa akin nang matapos ako.

“Maraming salamat po,” sabi ko sa kaniya saka ako lumabas ng estasiyon.

The warmth of sun greeted me. Napasapo ako sa aking mukha sa reyalisasiyong napabayaan ko si Win. If I hadn’t left him, he wouldn’t have gone missing. Kasalanan ko ’to!

My feet brought me to a stoned bench. Naupo ako ro’n; nagmasid at naglibang. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay mababaliw na ako dahil sa pagkawala ni Win. I have nothing to use that can lead me to him. Saang lupalop ko siya hahanapin?

Suddenly, my phone rang.

Attorney Pablo’s calling. . .

I answered it.

“What happened?”

“Win is indeed missing, Pab. Sobrang nag-aalala ako sa kaniya. I don’t know where to start finding him. I’m hopeless.” Mabuti na lang at hindi video call ito dahil nakakahiyang makita niya ako sa ganitong kalagayan.

“Did you report it to the local police?”

“Yes. Actually, nandito ako ngayon at kakayari ko lang i-report ang pagkawala niya. Pab, anong gagawin ko? Hindi ko magawang kumalma dahil sa pagkawala niya. It worries me thinking if he ate already, or did he had a good night sleep. Is he in a comfortable place right now or is he okay? Mababaliw na ako kakaisip kay Win.”

“Hey, calm down. It’s the job of the police to help you find him. You should go back to your unit and rest. Baka naman kung mapano ka.”

I shook my head as if he could see me. “I will look for him.”

“No! That’s so risky! Hayaan mong samahan kita kapag nakauwi na ako sa Riverside Valley! I wouldn’t let you drive in that state! Baka kung ano pa ang mangyari sa ’yo! Listen to me, go back to your unit and rest. Please.”

I can hear the frustration in his voice. I am not the only one frustrated this time. Dalawa na kami ni Pablo.

I let out a sigh as tear escaped from my eyes. Nagpunas agad ako ng luha.

“Okay. I will obey you but. . .” I paused when Adrian and his parents crossed my mind. “Allow me to visit Adrian and his parents before heading home.”

“Sure, but promise me you’ll go straight home after that?”

“Yes, I will,” paniniguro ko.

“I will end this call. Take care, love. See you soon. I love you.”

He waited for my response. It would be rude if I will drop the call so I said the words he was waiting from me.

“I love you too. Ingat.” After that, he hung up.

Nagtungo na ako sa kotse ko upang magpunta sa ospital kung nasaan sila Adrian. I bought a meal for two and continued driving.

Nang makapasok sa silid nila ay nagmano muna ako.

“Hijo, kumusta?” tanong ng mama ni Adrian.

Ibinigay ko ang mga pagkain sa kanila.

“Okay lang po. Kumusta po kayo rito? How’s Adrian po? Did he show any signs of waking up?” I asked.

“Noong nakaraang araw ay napansin naming gumalaw ang daliri niya,” tuwang-tuwang sagot ng papa ni Adrian sa akin. “Sana ay magising na ang Adi namin. Maraming salamat pala rito sa dala mo, hijo. Saluhan mo na kami sa pananghalian.”

Umiling ako para tumanggi. “Busog pa po ako,” I lied.

“Hijo, nasaan si Win?” Adrian’s mother asked me.

I stopped. Wala na akong balak pang sabihin sa kanila na nawawala ang best friend ko. I don’t want to add another stress to them. As much as possible, I will hide it from them.

“Inihatid ko po sa Cavite dahil may biglaang lakad po. Hindi na nga raw po siya nakapagpaalam sa inyo ang sabi niya. Babalik din naman po agad ’yon,” paliwanag ko.

Kita ko ang ngiti sa mga labi nila. I know Win was the one closest to them since he always visits them. Saying his name lighten their moods. Sino ba naman ang hindi mapapamahal sa taong kagaya niya? Miski tuloy sila ay gustong-gusto siya dahil sa kabaitan niya sa mga ito.

Parang dinudurog ang puso ko habang pinagmamasdan ang ngiti sa labi nila. They didn’t know that he was missing, and my make-up story was the thing they believed in. Their smiles pained me. Hindi ko nakayanan kaya nagpaalam na ako sa kanila.

Where are you Win? Where can I find you?

Later that day, I attended Rendy and Francis meet and greet in SM RValley. The police officers let him finish his performances as per Win. Binilin niya kasi ’yon. He said that he didn’t want to ruin other people’s enjoyment on the event. So when the event is over, the police officers took him.

I was there at the crowd, witnessing how startled he was when they hand cuff him. The people went hysterical as well as Francis who seemed clueless of the happenings. Poor guy. I think he’s not aware that he’s dating a monster.

Pababa na sila sa stage at papalapit na sila sa direksiyon ko nang magtama ang mga mata namin.

I didn’t see any emotions in his eyes. Nagulat na lang ako nang ngumisi siya.

“You’re not going to see him anymore,” he said to me.

Hinabol ko sila at kinuwelyuhan siya. My rage was beaming because of what I just heard.

“Come again?” My teeth was gritting out of anger. He’s getting in my nerves.

Dinuraan niya ako sa mukha. Napapikit ako. I let go of him to wiped my face and without hesitation, I give him a strong jab on the face.

“If anything bad happens to my best friend. I won’t hesitate to take your life, Ren. Keep that mind,” I said and gave way for them.

Now I know that he was the one behind Win’s disappearance. It’s about time to milk a cow and find answers from him.

I went to my car, awaken the engine and tailed to the police car where Ren settled.

I won’t stop until I get the answer from his very own mouth. I will beat the hell out of this man.

Mali siya nang kinalaban.

* 1

917 WC

Who’s happy with me? Justice served naman kay Win, ’di ba? But I hope Wren will find him immediately!

What is your thought in this chapter? Share it in the comment section below ^^

-S3N

🚩21: Behind the ruins of fire

WARREN

Ganoon lang din kabilis na makalaya si Rendy. A day after that incident, he was freed from the jail with an approved bail. Though the case is still on going until the day of trial. We still need to find Win since we need him in the court trial.

Day and night, I didn’t stop finding him. I posted on my social media accounts, visited every town and posted missing posters in every places that I have been.

Nasaan ka na Win? Sobrang pinag-aalalala mo na ako.

“Drink some water,” said Pablo as he gave me a bottled water.

Nagpapahinga kami ngayon dahil kakatapos lang namin mag-ikot-ikot sa baranggay San Isidro upang magpaskil ng mga poster.

“Thank you,” I told him as I took the water. Uminom ako at nang matapos ay bumalik ako sa paglalagay ng mga paskil sa pader.

“Magpahinga ka muna kaya?” tanong sa akin ni Pablo.

I stopped and looked at him. A sad smile born out of my lips. “I need to find him. Hindi ako p’wedeng magpahinga.”

I wasn’t the only one heartbroken by Win’s disappearance. The people around us were just as worried as I was because we had no leads on where Win might be hiding. Miski sila Amanda at Calvin ay tumutulong na rin sa amin sa paglalagay ng mga poster sa pader, umaasang sa bawat lugar na binibisita namin ay makikita namin siya o kahit man lang makakapagturo sa amin sa kinaroroonan niya.

When lunch time came, we just planned to meet the rest of our friends at the nearest fast food restaurant. Dahil sa kabilang baryo ang pinuntahan nila Amanda at Calvin ay nagpasiya kaming apat na doon na lang magkita-kita.

We spotted them in a table near the glass wall. Nagtungo kami papalapit sa kanila.

“Kumusta kayo? Any lead?” I asked.

Kapwa sila umiling. “Makikita rin natin si Win,” sabi ni Amanda.

“I hope he’s fine,” said Calvin.

I asked for their food. Ako na ang bahalang sumagot ng pagkain nila dahil sa tulong na binibigay nila sa akin upang mahanap si Win. Pablo accompanied me in the counter. Medyo mahaba ang pila ngayon dahil may karamihan ang tao.

“Only if Rendy allowed us to talk to him then it wouldn’t be difficult for us to find Win,” Pablo uttered.

“About that, I already hired a cover-up agent to check on him. Maingat talaga si Rendy kaya hindi pa tayo makakuha ng impormasiyon mula sa kaniya.” Hindi pa rin ako nawawalan nang pag-asa na makakuha ng kahit anong makakatulong upang makita namin si Win.

“Mahal na mahal mo si Win, ’no?”

Napalingon ako kay Pablo. He was smiling, but the sadness was still evident on his face.

“I love him more than my life, Pab.” I mean every word of it. Mahal ko si Win. Mahal na mahal ko siya. He was there when we were just tiny little kids. We grew up together, witnessed our own victories and celebrated even the smallest winnings in our lives. I saw every version of Win. The joyful Win, the cry-baby potato, the grumphy one, and even the clever sexy version of him. Maybe that’s the reason why I fall down deep there. I couldn’t figure out how to lift myself from the pit I created since I was enjoying it. I wonder when Win will notice my feelings? Hindi niya ba talaga napapansin o sadiyang iniiwasan niya lang ito?

We spent the following days searching for him, posting posters on every wall we passed. I didn’t get tired. My burning desire to find him didn’t fade. Day by day, my eagerness to find him increased. It felt as if we were getting closer.

Wherever you are, I won’t stop looking for you, Win. Hang on, we’re on our way to save you.

Isang araw habang abala kami sa pagdidikit ng missing poster ni Win ay nakatanggap ako ng tawag mula kay Sir Dominal, iyong private agent na hinire ko para subaybayan si Rendy.

I answered the call.

“I’ll send you the location. I’m tailing Rendy’s car. I think he’s going to see him, your best friend, Win.”

Nabuhayan ako ng loob sa mga sinabi niya. I hopped in the car with Pablo and followed the GPS location Sir Dominal sent to me. The orange hue of dawn spreading in the sky as the night time comes close.

Maluha-luha ako dahil halos isang buwan na rin kaming nagsusumikap na mahanap si Win. Now that this can lead us to him, I couldn’t contain my emotion to see him immediately.

Papunta na kami, Win. Malapit na kami.

*

WIN

My body was too tired from all the punches they threw to me. I couldn’t even lift my head to look at them. My sweat was mixing with my own blood. Uhaw na uhaw ako, gutom na gutom dahil isang beses lang nila ako pakainin sa loob ng isang araw. Well, it’s better than no eat at all.

I lost track of time. I don’t know how long I was staying here. Ang alam ko lang ay matagal na ako rito’t gustong-gusto ko nang makaalis.

Wren, how long do I need to wait for you to come?

Napapapikit na ako sa sobrang hilo. Tila ba hinehele na ako ng hanging dumadampi sa aking balat. My consciousness was like a blinking light. I know it will turn off any time soon.

“Tama na ’yan. Parating na si boss,” dinig kong sabi ng isa sa kanila.

They all left the room. Naubo pa ako ng dugo. Good thing, they didn’t put that damn cloth cover in my mouth so that I can breathe air easily.

Nakapagpahinga ako. Lupaypay na ako sa bangko kung saan ako nakagapos. Gusto ko nang itulog ito ngunit may kung anong pumipigil sa akin. Hanggang sa dumating si Ren.

Nag-angat ako nang tingin sa kaniya. He seemed in a hurry. Pawis na pawis siya na para bang hinabol siya ng kung ano.

Sinipa niya ang paa ng bangko ko dahilan para bumigay ito. The chair collapsed, causing me to hit the floor.

Napapikit ako sa sakit na dulot nito.

“Tangina talaga ang best friend mo! They are on their way here! Putangina!” inis na sigaw niya.

Nabuhayan ako ng loob. A small smile blossomed on my lips. They found me! Wren found me!

“I wouldn’t let them celebrate the victory. Never!” sigaw niya pa.

He went out of the room and came back handling a gallon of gasoline. Ikinalat niya iyon sa paligid ko. My heart was racing so fast knowing what he planned to do.

“R-ren,” I called him. “P-please, s-stop.” I tried to convince him but he was so determined to do this thing.

Inihagis niya ang gallon ng gasolina sa kung saan. Umupo siya sa harapan ko upang mas makalapit siya. He took out a lighter and smiled.

“Hindi ka ba magpapaalam sa taong ginawa mong mundo, Win?” tanong niya sa akin, pertaining to himself.

Nasamid ako. Dinuraan ko siya sa mukha niya. “That’s my greatest mistake, Ren, loving an ugly monster dressed as a loving prince.”

Pinunasan niya ang mukha at binigyan ako ng isang malakas na suntok. That was enough to put me asleep. Nagising na lang ako sa init ng paligid. The whole room was on fire and I am all alone.

I tried to free myself. Halos magsugat na ang mga daliri ko para lang makawala ngunit wala pa ring nangyayari. I didn’t lose hope. I tried my best to escape but when the fire reached the ceiling, that was when I felt hopeless.

“Ren!” sigaw ko, umaasang nasa labas lang siya at nakikinig sa pagtawag ko. “Wren!” How I wish my best friend is here. Hindi man lang ako makapagpaalam. Mamatay na lang ba ako na ganito?

I closed my eyes as tears began to fall. Ni hindi ko man lang nakausap ang mga magulang ko bago ako mawala. Hindi ko man naayos ang alitan namin. Iyong mga kaibigan ko, hindi ko man lang sila naka-bonding. Si Amanda at Calvin, si Pablo at lalong-lalo na ang tao na hindi ako pinabayaan hanggang sa dulo, si Warren.

“Sorry that I have to leave this way,” hinging tawad ko sa kanila.

The burning ceiling collapsed. Fire was everywhere, spreading like a crawling monster. The fire was touching my bare skin. Sobrang hapdi.

Dinama ko na lang ang init at tinanggap ang katapusan ko. I close my eyes and prentended sleeping. Ang sakit naman nang pagkamatay ko. I didn’t expect it to be this painful.

Seconds later, I felt someone untying the rope. Mas bumuhos ang luha ko nang makilala ang taong tumutulong sa akin na makalaya sa pagkakagapos sa upuan.

“You came back for me,” I said as tears kept flowing on my cheeks.

Rendy came back. He saved me.

Nang maalis ako sa pagkakagapos ay binuhat niya ako. I was looking at him like a mystery I couldn’t figure out. Akala ko’y kinamumuhian niya ako ngunit bakit nagawa niya pa akong balikan at iligtas?

I rested my head on his chest. The comfort it brought me was so unexplainable. Only Ren can provide me that feeling, and I hate it that this monster was my source of life, strength and happiness.

Muling bumuhos ang luha ko. How I wish we came back like what we used to be. Iyong masaya lang. Sabay kumain, tabi matulog, hatid-sundo sa trabaho. Sana may reset ang buhay para maaaring bumalik sa eksenang paborito mo, o eksenang sobra mong pinahahalagahan.

Suddenly, I heard something that caused me to open my eyes. Naging mabilis ang pangyayari. The ceiling collapsed and Ren was quick enough to throw me.

Naihagis niya ako palabas ng bahay. The ceiling at the doorway collapsed on him.

“Ren!” sigaw ko.

Agad na nagsilapitan ang mga tauhan niya upang saklolohan siya. Parang dinurog ang puso ko nang makita siya. The burn of fire caused it to ruin half of his face. Umalingawngaw ang sigaw niya sa buong lugar. I imagined the pain it brought him. It’s excruciating, an unbearable kind of pain.

We heard the noise of police siren. Mabilis silang umalis tangay si Rendy. Sinusundan ko lang sila nang tingin hanggang sa makalayo sila sa amin.

I was there in the front yard, weak and unguarded, but I survived. The whole house was burning behind me, slowly being taken down by the raging fire.

Two police car came with one familiar vehicle.

“Warren,” I whispered as soon as I saw him jumped out of his car.

Nagtatakbo siya patungo sa akin. The moment his arms enveloped around my body, my consciousness faded. Everything went black, calm and quiet.

Finally, I’m saved. Thank you, Warren. You found me.

*

1796 WC

At least, bumawi si Ren sa inyo. I know a lot of you hate him like I do. This chapter somehow helped Ren to redeem himself.

I guess one more chapter to go before the finale . I will surely miss this story as it has a speacial place in my heart already.

Share your thoughts. Interact with me in the comment section!

-S3N

🚩22: Until next time Riverside Valley

WARREN

“I need someone competent to represent our company, someone who can surpass the expectations of our international investors. I know you have what it takes to bring honor on behalf of our company.”

Prente akong nakaupo sa side chair ng table ni Mr. Yukimura. He’s our company CEO, the big boss behind the growing popularity of lifestraw worldwide. I was one of the researchers who had a huge participation in the making of that product. That straw can be used to convert any kind of water into potable drinking water and it became popular not just here in the Philippines but also worldwide. To extent our knowledge, Mr. Yukimura wants me work abroad as one of the project manager to the newly opened branch in the California, USA.

“May I ask for one more month, sir? This will be the last time I request it.” Noong nakaraang buwan niya pa ako binigyan ng palugid dahil sa paghahanap ko kay Win. One month had passed and it was over, he need an answer from me. I hope he will allow me to have another month here. Hindi ko pa maaaring iwan si Win lalo na sa ganitong kalagayan niya.

Humalumbaba si Mr. Yukimura sa table niya. He looked me at sternly as he shook his head.

“I cannot give you another month, Mr. Prado. It’s long overdue. Our company is operational, and they’re just waiting for you to arrive. There’s no other qualified employee here—only you. I won’t risk our company’s reputation by sending another project manager. I want you to take over the position.”

Napalunok ako dahil sa sinabi niya. He really believes in me. Sobra ang tiwala sa akin ni Mr. Yukimura. It felt nice to be complimented in that way but I wouldn’t leave Win. Not now that he needs me.

“At least give me a week, sir. I still need to pack my things and say goodbye to my friends and family.” I hoped he would accept my excuse.

Tumikhim siya. Slowly, he nodded his head.

“One week and after that, you’ll ready to go,” he said and offered his hand for a handshake.

I took it. The deal was closed.

Mabigat ang dibdib kong lumabas ng opisina niya. I only have one week to stay here, to take good care of my best friend, Win. I don’t know how to tell him about this news. Alam kong magugulat siya.

Tinapos ko ang trabaho sa araw na iyon. Kagaya ng nakasanayan ay hindi ako nagdiretso sa condo. I drove to the Saint Dominic’s private hospital to visit Win.

Nagtungo agad ako sa silid niya. The peacefulness of his room greeted me. Nakita ko siyang nakaupo sa ibabang parte ng puting kama habang nakamasid sa harap ng bintana. He didn’t pay attention to me. He was just looking at the sky, enjoying the cumulous clouds above. i saw a flock of birds flying care-free overhead. I fell in love with how peaceful they were.

Tumabi ako kay Win sa kama. Simula noong nakita ko siya sa nasusunog na bahay na ’yon ay hindi na siya nagsalita pa. He had small cuts and wounds all over his face and body and some minor burns that can be treated. It’s better than having an internal bleeding or fracture and injury. The doctor said his trauma caused him to become like this and they assured me that he would be fine if he undergo to a therapy. It’s been two weeks since that incident and he’s still not showing any kind of progress though I’m not in a rush. I just want to talk to him before I leave.

Inakbayan ko siya at sinaluhan ito sa pinagmamasdan.

“They seem so care-free, right,” I commented, pertaining to the flock of birds at the sky.

I didn’t expect him to respond or what. I just want to talk to him. Gusto kong sabihin sa kaniya ang balita ngunit may kung anong pumipigil sa akin. I don’t want to add another weight to his burden. Ayaw ko siyang biglain. I think it would be better if I will tell him the day of my flight. Baka kasi hindi ko na gustuhing umalis kapag sinabi ko sa kaniya ang tungkol doon. Besides, Amanda, Calvin and Pablo are here to take care of him.

Suddenly, three loud knocks interupted us. Nang lumingon ako ay nakita ko si Pablo. May mga kasama siya.

“Win have visitors,” sabi ni Pablo.

Nagulat ako nang makita ko si Adrian. Kasama niya ang mga magulang niya.

I stood up to welcome them. I gave Adrian a hug. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

“Si Win ang dahilan kung bakit ako naka-recover agad. He sent me to a private hospital, hired a private nurse to supervise my condition. He never neglected my mother, and I’m so happy that she’s now cancer-free!” Maluha-luha siya sa mga ibinalita.

Humarap ako sa mga magulang niya upang magmano.

“It’s all because of him, Wren. I’m here to personally thank him. I hope I could help him somehow.” Adrian smiled at me.

Tumango ako sa kaniya to give him permission. He made his way towards Win and sat beside him. He hugged Win like they were long lost best friend and that tear me up.

Nagtungo na rin ang mga magulang niya sa kinaroroonan ni Win. That is the first time he looked those people around him, the first time he pays attention to them.

Nang yumakap ang mga magulang ni Adrian ay nakita kong bumuhos ang luha ni Win. He must’ve missed his parents. I was there when they disowned him for being gay and dating a celebrity figure. I was there when they turned their backs on him, leaving him the time he needed them the most. I was there when his world collapsed, and he needed to start all over again for himself.

Through rain and sunshine, I was there, witnessing how his heart broke and how it became whole again. If there’s one person who suffers the most, it might be me, his one and only best friend.

I felt a hand on my arm. Nang lumingon ako ay nakita ko si Pablo na inaaya akong lumabas.

He pulled me out of the room and the moment he closed the door, he gave me a warm comforting hug. I didn’t notice my tears. Ngayon lang na nakikita kong pumapatak ito mula sa aking mga mata.

He caressed my back and it helped me a lot to feel better.

Hindi namin alintana ang mga taong napapalingon sa aming dalawa. The nurses and other people were curious of us. Nagyayakapan kasi sa gilid ng pasilyo, tapos umiiyak pa ako.

Kumalas ako mula kay Pablo at saka agad na pinunasan ang mga pisngi ko.

I rarely cry. I don’t want anyone of them to see me cry, especially Win. Ayaw ko na kasing makadagdag pa sa alalahanin nila ngunit ngayon, sadiyang mabigat na talaga ang lahat. I need someone to share the weight of my burden. It usually Win who helps me carry this shit but now that he seemed absent, Pablo was the one filling up his duties.

“Thank you, Pab. I’m so sorry for breaking down. I just miss to see Win be back to normal again.” I tried to laugh just to eliminate the embarassment.

“Do you want to grab some coffee? Ice cream? Ramen?” he asked.

Mas mabuti pa nga.

Merong malapit na 7/11 store sa labas ng Saint Dominic Hospital kaya hindi na kami nag-b’yahe pa. Bumili lang kami ng dalawang chocolate ice cream at naupo sa mga bangko sa loob ng store.

“I hope this will make you feel better,” Pablo commented as he settled beside me.

“Thank you for this,” I said to him.

Sobrang s’werte ng taong mamahalin ni Pablo, at alam kong hindi ako ang nakatadhana sa kaniya. Nilinaw ko naman na. Kagaya ng pag-uusap namin noon. He wanted me to confess to Win but in this kind of situation, it’s a no. I better be confessing if Win already recovered from the trauma his ex-boyfriend caused him. Hindi ako susugal nang ganito ang sitwasiyon ni Win.

“Pab,” pagkuha ko ng atensiyon niya. Lumingon siya sa akin, naghihintay sa kung ano ang sasabihin ko. I began. “Mr. Yukimura gave me a week to pack my things. Tuloy na ako sa Amerika.”

Kita ko ang paglatay ng lungkot sa mukha niya. The ice cream dripped from his grip. He seemed stunned by what he had just heard.

“Sigurado ka na ba diyan? How about Win?” he asked.

Umiwas ako nang tingin. “Hindi naman p’wedeng sa kaniya lang umikot ang buhay ko, Pab. I love Win but I think it’s about time to focus on my career.” What a good alibi, Wren.

“Did you tell him about this?” tanong niya pa.

Umiling ako. “I’ll tell him on the day of my flight. It’s better off that way. Kayo na muna ang bahala sa kaniya hangga’t wala ako. Dalawang taon lang naman ’yon. I’ll be back soon.”

Saglit na namayani ang katahimikan sa aming dalawa. Tila ba tinatantiya namin ang mga emosiyong nararamdaman. I know it shocked him. Ang akala niya kasi ay hindi na ako tutuloy dahil sa kalagayan ni Win.

“I’ll gonna miss you, Wren.”

Napalingon ako sa kaniya. A small smile was plastered on his tiny lips.

“I’ll keep you updated. Don’t worry.”

I think it’s better to agree with Mr. Yukimura. It’s beneficial to me as I will learn more things in the field as a new project area manager. Aside from that, it will also be a way for me to move-on from this, with Win.

“Have you confessed to him?” out of the blue na tanong ni Pablo, as if he heard my inner thoughts.

Umiling ulit ako. “I have no plans. Hindi pa nga okay si Win, e. This is not the best time to confess. Siguro kapag bumalik na ako rito? I don’t know.”

“Dadalhin mo sa Amerika ’yang bigat niyan? Bakit hindi mo subukang sumugal? Wala namang mawawala? If he didn’t respond to you, at least you tell him already. Alam ko namang nakikinig siya, na aware siya, kaya why not give it a try, Wren?”

Napaisip ako sa sinabi ni Pablo. He has a point. Ayaw ko naman ding dalhin sa Amerika itong bigat ng katorpehan ko.

“Sige, I’ll tell him the day of my flight.” Sana lang ay makayanan ko. Bahala na si Batman.

Niyari na namin ang ice cream na kinakain. I thanked Pablo once more before heading back to Win’s room.

“Please contact me if you need some help. I will visit Win sometime. Thank you, Wren. Thank you Attorney Pablo,” sabi sa amin ni Adrian. Nagpaalam na rin ang mga magulang nito sa amin lalo na kay Win.

Nang makaalis sila ay pinagmasdan kong muli si Win na nakamasid pa rin sa bintana. Mami-miss ko ang lalaking ito. I hope he recovers real quick. Para kapag bumalik ako at handa na akong magtapat sa kaniya ay maumpisahan na namin ang love story naming dalawa. If he didn’t feel the same way, I hope in another universe, there’s a happy version of me with him as my partner.

“I love you, Win. I really do,” I whispered to myself while admiring him from afar.

*

I stayed at the hospital on my remaining days. Tinabihan ko matulog si Win. I savoured the moment and cuddle with him every night. I cook meals for him since that is what I used to do. One time, sinabayan ko siya maligo kahit na tulala lang siya sa kawalan. I just wanted to make memories with him before I leave. Gusto kong magbaon ng napakaraming masasayang ala-ala naming dalawa.

The Life Line Company prepared a farewell party for me when evening came. I invited Amanda, Calvin, and Pablo, since Mr. Yukimura allowed me to. I enjoyed it; at least I had some memories to take with me to America.

I was dizzy because of the alcohol but I was able to drive back to where Win was staying.

I hugged him that night as I fell asleep. Hindi ko namalayang umiiyak na ako. This is the last night with him. I will definitely gonna miss this man.

When the sun shines, I went back to my condo unit and prepared for my flight. Pablo was here to help me with my luggages. Dalawang maleta lang naman ang dala ko at isang handbag.

When I’m done with myself, Pablo walked straight to me and gave me a warm tight hug, a hug that once filled the missing gaps in my heart.

“Mag-iingat ka ro’n, ah? Message me every now and then, okay?” sabi niya.

Lumayo ito sa akin at saka nagpunas ng luha.

“You’re ugly when you cry,” pang-aasar ko na tinawanan niya naman.

“Mami-miss kita, Wren,” sabi niya pa.

This time, I was the one who pulled him for a hug.

“Please take care of Win for me,” I whispered.

We are down on our last spot, which is Win. Nang makapunta kami sa ospital ay naabutan namin siya sa paborito niyang pwesto. Nakaupo siya sa laylayan ng kama habang nakamasid sa maaliwalas na kalangitan.

I felt my tears verging to fall. Napakagat ako sa labi ko upang pigilan ang sarili na maiyak. I promised myself not to cry again in front of him. Since then, I’ve been one of his sources of strength, and it wouldn’t help his recovery if he saw me crying.

Naglakad ako patungo sa harapan niya. I lowered my body to level myself to him.

I kissed his forehead and hugged him. “I’ll be back after two years. I promised you.” Those were the limited words that came out of my mouth, almost a whisper.

Tumayo ako at humirit pa ng huling sulyap sa kaniya bago lumabas. Then I noticed something on his neck. It’s a familiar necklace with a key pendant—he discovered it already? Why took me so long to notice that necklace I gave him on his 25th birthday?

He probably knew how much I love him. More than just my best friend.

Pumatak ang luha ko kaya agad ko itong pinahid.

“I’ll be back soon, my best friend,” I whispered and made my way out. Hindi ko alam kung guni-guni ko lang pero nakita ko siyang humarap sa direksiyon ko. Sakto namang naisara ko na ang pinto kaya hindi na ako bumalik pa para masiguro iyon.

Pablo accompanied me all the way down the entrance. I just booked a Grab to bring me at the airlines. When the car came, Pablo hugged me once more before letting me go.

Iyak siya nang iyak lalo na noong pumasok na ako sa kotse. I just wave my hand goodbye and settled down on my seat.

This is it. There’s no turning back, Wren. Mabilis lang ang dalawang taon. Pinapangako kong sa susunod na pagbabalik ko sa Riverside Valley ay handa na akong magtapat kay Win. I will tell him everything. I’ll confess my feelings and let him know he’s the reason behind my genuine smiles and carefree laughter. He’s the one my heart desires, and it may sound cheesy, but my heartbeat calls his name—Win. Mami-miss ko siya.

Until next time, my long time best friend, Win Del Cino.

*

2,555 WC

This is the last chapter. I’ll post the Epilogue tomorrow.

Sobrang bigat sa puso ko habang sinusulat ang kabanata na ito. I witnessed how mych Wren loves Win, and it broke my heart to see him leave.

Kayo? How are you feeling about this? Chikahan tayo sa comsec!

-S3N

🚩23: Gold and Diamond

2 years later

Rendy’s POV

I put back my mask and hoodie. Saglit kong pinagmasdan ang sarili sa salamin ng comfort room nitong napasukan kong restaurant.

I wore plain black hoodie, cap and mask. Tagong-tago. Dinaig ko pa ang gumawa ng krimen— oo nga pala. I did one before.

Sa loob ng dalawang taon na lumipas, nagagawa kong makipagtaguan sa mga pulis. Meron din kasi akong kapit dahil sa tito kong Colonel kaya naman kahit na may nakakakita sa aking mga pulis at naire-report sa Riverside Valley Police Office ay hindi ako dinadampot gawa ng sa koneksiyon ko. Hindi na rin naman na tinuloy ni Win ang kaso laban sa akin. Kung tutuusin ay maaari naman na akong hindi magtago, pero dahil na rin siguro sa nangyari sa akin ay hindi ko na gugustuhin pang magpakita sa iba.

My career is over when the burns from that accident ruined my face. Hindi na kaya ng plastic surgery dahil sa lubha ng natamo ko. My left eye almost turned blind because of it. My left ear was gone by how severe my burns were. Nakalbo rin ako at hindi na bumalik ang aking mga buhok sa tindi ng natamo kong sunog. The only thing that made me fame and popular has gone. Even Francis, whom I thought would stay with me, turned his back on me. I wondered if I hadn’t dumped Win, he would surely stay with me, even if I lost my angelic face.

Deserve ko naman ito dahil sa dami nang ginawa kong kagaguhan sa kaniya.

Tinanggap ko naman. Nagdudusa n

ang palihim, mag-isa.

Pinahid ko ang namuong luha sa gilid ng aking mga mata. My perfect life has been ruined. I’m no other but a trash now. Walang tumanggap sa akin kahit na sino. Even Sir Lex, my manager, left me. Hindi na marketable. Wala nang saysay. Hindi na p’wede pa sa showbiz. Siguro p’wede pang extra na halimaw sa mga horror movies pero bilang main lead character kagaya noong Boy Next Door, hindi na. Malabo na.

Lumabas na ako sa comfort room at nagtungo sa lugar kung saan ako madalas tumambay at magmasid sa kaniya.

The spot was located near a convenience store. Sa harap nito kasi ang café nila. Sakto at may maliit na stoned bench sa gilid ng convenience store na ito at naitatago pa ng malalaking puno at natataasang fence bush kaya malaya akong pagmasdan siya ro’n nang walang nakakapansin sa akin na sino.

Naupo ako sa stoned bench at pinagmasdan ang pasilidad sa harap, makatawid ng daan.

Warren’s Winflower Café

Ang ganda ng pangalan. It sounds so sophisticated and artistic. Different flower arrangement are displayed outside the shop. There are variety of flowers inside and its very affordable as well as their coffees that comes with different flavors and type. I tried once but I didn’t try again since I was so afraid to be discovered my Win. Mas kuntento na ako sa panonood sa kaniya sa malayo.

I’m so happy his dreams came true. I was looking at the brightest star the universe could offer, and sad to say, I wasted its beauty for nothing.

I spent couple of hours watching him. Madaming tao ngayon dahil linggo. Kadalasan ay mga teenager at mga magkasintahan ang laman ng café. Bukod kasi sa magandang ambience, masasarap na kape, bango na hatid ng mga bulaklak ay napakababait din ng mga staff nila sa loob, even the manager. No wonder his shop became blockbuster.

Honestly, I was contemplating things whether I will do my plan this day or convince myself to do it next day, but then realization hit me. Nandito na rin naman ako. Bakit maduduwag pa?

I stood up and went out of my spot. I checked the small box in my pocket, and once I had a hold of it, I began to walk toward the café.

Bawat hakbang ay pabigat nang pabigat. Malalapitan ko na kasi ulit siya, bagay na hindi ko madalas ginagawa.

Binati ako ng matitingkad na kulay ng tulips sa entrada. Ang paborito niyang bulaklak.

The door automatically opened, revealing me the fine man standing at the end corner of the café.

Hindi ko alam kung sa kaba o sa pagmamahal ko sa kaniya itong nararamdaman kong mabilis na pintig ng aking puso. It’s been a while since the last time I saw him this close. Sobrang laki ng pinagbago niya. Mas naging guwapo siya ngayon. Ang polo niya na hanggang siko ay bumagay sa maganda niyang ayos ng buhok. His radiating smile was so welcoming. Na-miss kong makita nang malapitan ang ngiting iyon, ang ngiti na sobra kong minahal sa kaniya.

Sayang.

Tutuloy pa ba ako?

Nandito na. Itutuloy ko na.

I was about to step when I noticed him looking at me, smiling. Tila ba nawalan ng lakas ang mga tuhod ko. Seryoso ba ito? Nakangiti siya sa akin?

Grabeng saya ng puso ko nang makita ko siyang humakbang papalapit sa akin. Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan, hindi makapaniwala sa mga nangyayari.

Agad na bumagsak ang luha ko. Sa dami nang mga ginawa kong masama kay Win, heto siya at naglalakad palapit sa akin, nakangiti na tila ba hindi ko siya sinaktan nang sobra noon.

Kaya nga hindi ko siya natiis iwan sa loob ng nasusunog na bahay na ’yon, kasi alam kong mahal ko pa rin siya.

Tangina.

I was about to step my foot when I saw a guy passed by from my side.

A very dominating man with his astonishing looks that everyone would be captivated. His scent added spice to the fragrance of flowers. When I saw Win embraced him, a part of my heart collapsed.

“Wren,” he cried inside his hug.

I smiled. He used to call me Ren, so I thought he meant me. But I couldn’t forget the guy named Warren, whom he used to call Wren until I told him to use his full name instead, since our names sound so similar.

He’s here now. The perfect “Wren” for him, not the other “Ren”.

Hindi ako ang nginingitian niya kundi si Warren. Napaka-feeling-ero ko naman aa parte na ’yon.

Masiyado nang masakit ang nakikita ko kaya tumalikod na ako ngunit bago lumabas ay hinugot ko muna ang maliit na kahon sa loob ng bulsa. I placed it on an empty table and made my way out. May pangalan niya naman iyon kaya siguro naman ay may magbibigay sa kaniya kapag may nakakita.

Now that Wren’s here, I think this is the perfect time to end this misery. It’s about time to raise my flag. I need to let go of the man I negclected over my fame, the man who is willing to sacrifice everything for me, the man who is loving and kind, the man I thought of not giving up in our relationship. Then I remembered, I was the one who let go and broke him, so I deserved to suffer.

I am wishing you happiness in life. Until next time, Win.

*

WARREN

The moment I set foot on the ground after landing with Philippine Airlines, I realized I was home—but my true home is in Riverside Valley.

Wala akong sinabihan na iba kundi si Pablo lang kaya inaasahan kong nandoon siya sa waiting area para sunduin ako. Bitbit ang mga maleta ko ay nakita ko siyang kumakaway sa akin. He’s not alone. Napansin kong kasama niya sila Calvin at si Amanda na may bitbit na batang babae.

Nang makalapit ay sinalubong agad ako nang yakap ni Pablo.

“Sobrang na-miss kita!” aniya habang yakap ako. Halos maipit na ako sa higpit ng yakap niya. “Sorry, nagpumilit ang mga ito kaya nasabi kong susunduin kita. Calvin offered his car to fetch you, so yeah, they are here too to welcome you back.”

Sinalubong ako nang yakap ni Amanda. I responded to her. Calvin gave me a man hug too.

“Grabe, mas sumarap ka Wren! Anong hangin ba ang meron sa Amerika at naging macho kang ganyan!” komento ni Calvin kaya natawa ako.

Hinampas siya ni Amanda sa braso.

“Anak, magmano ka kay tito Wren. Tito rin yan kagaya ni tito ninong Win at tito ninong Calvin, ah?” said Amanda to the little girl who resembled her. Nagmano ito sa akin.

“Teka? I thought anak niyo ni Calvin?” I asked them, naguguluhan.

Walang sumagot sa kanila. Kita ko pa ang pamumula ng mukha ni Amanda. Wait? Did I say something wrong?

“Anak namin siya, Wren. Si Thalia.”

Nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi ni Pablo. I rarely talked to him through phone but I didn’t expect he has a child with Amanda. Ang akala ko kasi ay si Calvin at Amanda ang magkarelasiyon!

“I have so much things to catch up! Tangina, seryoso ba?” hindi ko makapaniwalang tanong. Kaya pala tito ninong Calvin instead of Pablo!

Inakbayan ni Pablo si Amanda at saka humalik sa noo nito. They looked like a perfect family.

“My heartbreak with you led me to a realization that I was destined to a woman, I didn’t know that woman is her, Amanda,” nakangiting sabi sa akin ni Pablo.

“Tangina ka!” ang tangi ko na lang nasabi. “I’m so happy for the both of you!”

“Ikakasal na kami this December. Ikaw ang kukuhanin kong best man. Okay lang ba?” Pablo asked me.

Tumango-tango ako. “Of course!”

Hinarap ko si Calvin. “Ikaw dre? How are you? Akala ko talaga kayo ni Amanda!”

“I’m dating Solene Aleya,” casual niyang sambit.

“You mean the celebrity Solene? The female lead of Over the Horizon and the famous movie Until It’s Over?” hindi ko makapaniwalang tanong. Kahit kasi sa Amerika ay nakikita ko ang mukha ni Solene sa mga news at magazine.

Tumango sa akin si Calvin. “Yes, she is.”

Napailing ako, nakangiti na parang tanga. “You know what guys, let’s have a night out later. I have so much things to catch up with you!” Hinatak ko na sila paalis sa waiting area, besides, I still need to see him, my home.

Hindi naman malayo ang kotse ni Calvin kaya nagtungo na kami ro’n. I settled on the shotgun seat beside Calvin and the rest occupied the backseat. Pinagmamasdan ko sila sa rear view mirror at nag-uumapaw ang tuwa sa puso ko dahil sa nalaman. I’m so glad Pablo and Amanda is the end game of the story. Now there’s a mini me version of Amanda, I know Pab will be a good father and husband to the both of them.

“Parang napakaraming nangyari sa loob ng dalawang taon na wala ako,” komento ko nang mag-umpisa ang biyahe.

“Wala ka talagang balita sa amin rito? You didn’t check your socmeds? The news?” Calvin asked while eyes on the road.

Umiling ako. “No, perhaps, I deactivated all my socmeds account. Mas lalo ko kasi kayong mami-miss at baka maisipan kong bumalik dito sa Pilipinas para lang puntahan kayo.”

Saglit na namayani ang katahimikan sa amin. “How’s Win?” Finally, nasabi ko na rin ang kanina ko pa gustong itanong.

“He’s waiting for you, Wren.” This time, it was Pablo who answered me.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya nang makita siyang nakatingin sa akin sa rearview mirror.

Mas lalo ko tuloy siyang na-miss. I don’t want to ask them for anything anymore. I want to ask Win instead. I have so many stories to tell him.

The ride lasted for about two hours. Nagulat pa ako nang hindi ako ihatid ni Calvin sa Skyline Condominiums. Hindi ko na rin makilala ang Riverside Valley sa dami nang pinagbago ng lugar. Parang mas lalong gumanda at umasenso. Nag-upgrade talaga.

Huminto kami sa harap ng isang café.

“Sa Skyline Condominiums din naman ang last stop ko. Ako na ang bahala sa gamit mo, kuhanin mo na lang sa akin. Ihahatid ko lang itong mag-asawa. Tulog na rin kasi si Thalia at para naman makapag-usap din kayo nang maayos ni Win,” komento ni Calvin sa tabi ko.

“Is Win inside that café?” I asked, bago lang din kasi ito sa akin.

Tumango si Calvin.

“Go on and see him,” sabi niya sa akin na halos pagtulakan na ako palabas ng kotse niya.

Nagpaalam na ako sa mga kaibigan bago lumabas.

Umalis na rin agad sila kaya panandalian ko munang inayos ang sarili. I brushed my hair using my hand. Iniunat ko rin ang suot kong maroon na polo. Okay naman ang bihis ko, ’di ba? Guwapo pa rin naman, ’di ba?

Sumilip ako sa café dahil glass wall naman ito. Napakaraming customers. May mga iba’t ibang bulaklak din ang nakahanay sa loob at labas ng café.

Hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras at naglakad na ako patungo sa entrada ng café. Nahinto pa ako panandalian nang makita ang pangalan nito sa itaas.

Warren’s Winflower café

Tinupad niya ang pangarap naming dalawa. That was enough to make me emotional. Shit. Hindi pwedeng umiyak! Baka pumanget ako! This is the first time in two years that I get to see him again!

The arrangement of different tulips greeted me in the entrance. Alam kong paborito niya ang mga tulips. Ang gaganda ng mga ’to.

The door automatically opened. Maraming tao sa loob. Inilibot ko muna ang mga mata sa paligid. The vases were filled with different kinds of flower. Bouquets are displayed on both sides. Napansin ko rin ang mga nakasabit na frame at nang makilala ang mga iyon ay napangiti agad ako. Those were my raw sketches of Win in my journal. Ipina-frame niya pala ang mga ’yon para isabit sa loob ng café niya.

Nang magawi ang mata ko sa counter ay bumungad agad ang malaking menu board sa itaas. The combination of chocolate brown and white catch my attention. The flower lamp on the counter adds an addition to the overall beauty of the café. Sobrang ganda rito. I can live here.

Kahit na marami ang tao sa café ngayon, siya pa rin ang nangingibabaw sa paningin ko.

He was wearing a long-sleeved polo shirt, folded halfway up his arms, paired with black pants and shoes, which made him look very professional.

Napatitig ako sa kaniya. After two long years, my heart still desires him. Siya at siya pa rin. Parang mas lalo ko pa siyang minahal ngayon.

The fragrance of flowers went to my senses. It made me miss him so much.

Napansin niya siguro ako kaya napalingon siya sa aking gawi. Kahit nasa kabilang dulo siya nang café ay hindi naging hadlang iyon para makilala namin ang isa’t isa.

Gumuhit ang ngiti sa labi ko nang magtama ang mga mata naming dalawa.

Hindi na ako nakapagpigil pa. I ran toward him.

Sabay naming sinalubong nang yakap ang isa’t isa. I rested my head on his shoulder, savouring the moment I longed to feel.

“Wren,” he said while crying.

Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap ko sa kaniya. Bigla na lang tumulo ang luha ko nang marinig ang tinig ni Win. It’s been a while since the last time I heard his voice. Sobra ko siyang na-miss.

Parang ayaw ko na siyang pakawalan pa. One hug is enough to bring back my energy. This man has been my source of strength, my happiness. He has been my will to keep moving forward. Aside from my family, Win serves as my motivation in life. Now that I’m back, I promised to tell him everything. Ang akala ko ay magagawa ko na siyang kalimutan oras na lumayo ako ngunit taliwas ito sa inaakala ko. Mas lalo ko pa siyang minahal. His absence pushes me to work hard in life. I bought two cars abroad, built a cozy two story house and my own firm business in California. Siya na lang ang kulang.

Nang kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap niya ay mataimtim ko siyang tinitigan sa mga mata. The people around us were cheering, and all of them were as happy as we were

I smiled. Pinunasan ko ang mga pisngi niyang basa nang luha. “You look ugly when you cry,” I joked. Hinampas niya ang dibdib ko.

“Win,” pagkuha ko ng atensiyon niya.

“Hmm?”

“I want to tell you something,” I continued. He didn’t say a thing, as if letting me continue with my words.

I took a deep breath to pull enough courage to confess. “I love you, and if you will ask me in a deeper level, I would say you’re the only person who can make me feel this way. Whenever I see you, my heart beats so fast like it will come out of my chest. Your smile makes my day. Being with you is something I would be contented of. Mahal kita, Win. Mahal na mahal kita.”

And his answer shocked me.

“Alam ko.”

Naiwan akong nakatulala sa maganda niyang mukha, tila hindi alam kung ano ba ang marapat na sabihin.

“I didn’t notice the diamond so I go for gold. I am not aware that gold melts when directed with too much heat, so it’s so easy for the gold to escape and melt away unlike the diamond who can resist of too much heat, and stays.”

Napakunot ang noo ko sa mga sinabi niya. Napansin niya sigurong naguguluhan ako kaya tumawa siya.

“Rendy was the gold and you’re my diamond, Wren,” he clarified. “Your names sounds alike but the quality of love the both of you have for me is really far different from one another.”

My heart melted from all the things he was saying to me.

“This time, I’m going for the diamond intead of the gold,” he said and unexpectedly sealed the statement with a kiss.

His lips felt like a perfect fit to mine. The softness it has lulled my heart to peace. I never felt this light, and free, and overwhelm before. After two long years of being away, carefully avoiding the thought of Win, alone and sulking in the dark, finally, I was here, and it was like my prayers has been heard. I’m seen. My feelings for him finally noticed.

I never thought m

y first kiss is no other than him, my best friend Win

, and finally,

after 31 years of hiding behind my shadows, he’s aware of what I truly felt for him. My safe heaven, my love, my home.

*

Hindi ko mayari ito kaya nag-extend pa ako ng isang chapter. This next chapter will be the real epilogue of this novel, or maybe another chapter before the epilogue. Who knows? Mwehehehe~

Anyway, my apologies for my late update. Actually, yari ko na sulatin ito. Ipo-polish na lang. It just that, I had a fever this long weekend and I needed to rest, kaya natengga. Sorry na.

Hope you enjoy the update.

Cheers for Win and Warren 🥳🎉🎊

-S3N

🚩24: Night Sky and Solemn Waves

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains themes of violence and suicide. Reader discretion is advised.

*

WIN

My eyes were fixated to Amanda as she marched down the aisle. This day was so significant to her and her soon to be husband, Pablo.

Both of their relatives are present today, ganoon na rin kaming mga malalapit na kaibigan nilang dalawa.

I could feel that everyone is being emotional. Nakadagdag pa ang malamyos na tugtog ng live band at ang malamig ng tinig ng singer sa gilid na entablado.

Mabagal ang bawat hakbang ni Amanda, slowly treasuring the moment.

The coldness of air touches everyone’s heart. Napakaganda rin ng kulay kahel na langit dahil saktong palubog na ang haring araw. Even though I was wearing my black shoes, I could still feel the comfort of the white sand on my feet. Tinupad ni Pablo ang pangarap ni Amanda na Beach Wedding. I was wondering since then, sana ako, kung siya na talaga, sana maranasan ko rin ang ganitong bagay.

My eyes caught that guy standing beside Pablo. Like the groom, he was also emotional for his friend. Warren was comforting him, giving some gentle pats on his shoulder. Kagaya ng sinabi ni Pablo sa kaniya, Wren was his best man.

Hindi mabilang sa daliri ang mga taong dumalo ngayon, all in their formal attire, but then my eyes still look for that specific guy with gray coat and tie.

I smiled when our eyes finally met. Its been three weeks since our confession and Wren was tirelessly courting me. Looking at him now, I just want to run into him, wrap his in my arms and plant kisses on his cheeks. His sweet smile is enough to lift up my mood, to fill up my energy and to make me one of the happiest person existing here on earth. Wren made me realize that I was a lucky one.

When Amanda reached Pablo, nagmano muna ang lalaki sa mga magulang ni Amanda bago niya ito inakay sa harap ng altar.

I shed my tears. Napakababaw talaga ng luha ko. I was so emotional witnessing Pablo and Amanda’s wedding.

The priest began to talk until the groom and bride shared their vows.

“At first, masasabi kong cute ka talaga. Kaya nga lagi akong natutulala sa ’yo sa tuwing bumisita kayo ni Warren sa office namin noong mga panahong inaayos niyo ang kaso ni Winnie,” pag-uumpisa ni Amanda dahilan para matawa ang lahat.

“I never thought that guy was the one destined to me. He’s tall, musculine, and very handsome. Akala ko hindi ako papansinin pero nang si God na ang gumawa ng paraan para paglapitin tayo ng tadhana, hindi na ako nagdalawang -isip pa at bumigay din ako sa ’yo.”

Miski ako ay natawa din sa mga sinabi ni Amanda. She’s really bubbly. Her joyfulness is one of the reason why our work became unbearable when times get tough. I’m so glad she found her happiness with Pablo.

“I may not be perfect. I sometimes get easily annoyed. You know my mannerism when I was having my monthly period but you still find a way to understand my situation. You know how to handle my tantrums and everything. You’re like my calming pill when everything felt like chaos. I am Amanda Fierrero soon to be Amanda Fierrero-Rivera willing to be your wife for the rest of my life. I will be by your side through ups and downs and I promised not to leave you no matter what, no matter comes along our way.”

Kita ko sa mga mata ni Pablo ang saya habang pinakikinggan si Amanda. His eyes were teary and I knew he was doing his best to fight back his own feelings. By the looks of him, I could tell that he was so happy, beyond happy.

“My dearest wife,” pag-uumpisa ni Pablo. Kitang-kita ko ang luhang umalpas sa mga mata niya na agad din namang pinunasan ni Amanda. “Heaven knows how thankful I am to find you. You served as my light to a dark road I was walking through. Ang akala ko noon ay normal lang na magandahan sa isang babae lalo na at hindi naman ako straight, hindi ko alam na sign na pala ’yon para sabihan sa akin ni God na ikaw na ang hinahanap ko. Gladly, I listened to him, and here we are, saying our vows to each other.” Sobrang emosiyonal ni Pablo. His tears were flowing freely from his eyes. Amanda, on the other hand, kept brushing his tears.

“When Thalia came into our lives, my desire to marry you became stronger. There’s a voice kept whispering inside my head that I need to do this, because that is the right thing to do, and I wanted it to happen.” Pablo paused for a while. He looked Amanda into her eyes with such adoration. Despite the tears that kept falling, he managed to make a genuine and sincere smile.

“I have no regrets loving a woman like you. I meant every word from my vows and I promised to spend this life-time with an incredible woman, with our pretty little princess, Thalia. I will always choose you, every day, every second of my life,” makaantig damdaming sabi ni Pablo kay Amanda.

“Mrs. Amanda Fierrero-Rivera and Mr. Pablo Rivera- I now pronounced you, husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride,” saad ng pastor. Pablo slowly lifted the veil on Amanda’s face. For short pause, he stared on Amanda’s face with admiration and right at that moment, they shared the kiss of love.

Suddenly, a part of my mind reminded me of that specific person. Hearing those vows and witnessing all the happenings here reminded me of Rendy and all the promises he told me before. I couldn’t help but to let the memories to flood my mind, thinking that Rendy once told me a romantic wedding that not usually taken place here in the Philippines. Only if same-sex marriage is legal here, maybe we already planned everything ahead of us, but God planned a better story for us, because He didn’t want Rendy and I to end up together.

I felt my tears started to form around my eyelids as Ren appeared before my eyes. Tangina! Ngayon pa ba ako nagre-relapse? Akala ko ay hindi ko na mahal ang taong ’yon? Of all the evilness he has done to me, why I’m still thinking of him? I even suffered trauma and episodes because of what he did, and yet my heart still longing for that man? Akala ko naka-move on na ako? Bakit. . . bakit ganito ang mga nasa isip ko? Bakit ganito ang mga nararamdaman ko?

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard everyone’s celebration. Napapalakpak na lang ako kahit mabigat ang aking dibdib. All of us stood up from our chairs and joined everyone in celebrating the triumph of the newlywed couple.

Pasimple akong umalis sa lugar dahil ano mang oras ngayon ay babagsak na ang mga luha ko. When I had a good distance from the people of the venue, I let my tears to fall. Halos tumakbo na ako makalayo lang sa kanila nang makarinig ako ng pamilyar na boses na tumatawag sa akin.

I felt his hand on my arm, making me faced his direction.

Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa mga mata ni Wren nang makita ako. I know he was shocked to see me crying.

I wiped my tears and faked a smile. “Sorry,” I said and threw my sight away, ashamed that I was feeling this way in front of the person who loves me unconditionally.

Akala ko ay magagalit siya ngunit nagkamali ako. Instead, he pulled me into a tight embrace. The warmth of his hug served comfort and solace to my wounded heart. Napapikit ako at hinayaan ang sarili na umiyak.

We remained in that position for a while. No one dared to speak. He just let me pour out all my emotions until I felt fine.

Nagmulat ako ng mga mata. Madilim na sa buong paligid. The sound of waves from the seashore entered my ears. I looked the man in front of me and apologized, “Pasensiya na at nabasa ko na ang coat mo, Wren.”

Ngumiti lang siya sa akin saka umiling. “Okay lang. Kahit singahan mo pa.” Nakuha pang tumawa ng loko jaya pabiro kong hinampas ang dibdib niya. “You feeling better? Balik na tayo sa venue? They must have been looking for both of us.”

Dahan-dahan ay tumango ako sa kaniya. He didn’t ask me anything about the reason why I cried. Hinayaan niya lang ako na maging maayos. This guy-he’s really a heaven-sent. Wala na akong mahihilang pa dahil sa kaniya.

Wren was the one leading the way. Hawak niya ang kamay ko. Nakabuntot lang ako sa likuran niya habang nagpapatangay sa pagkakahila niya sa akin.

Nang makabalik kami sa venue ay nakabukas na ang mga flower light lamp sa buong lugar. Napansin kong nakatipon na ang mga kababaihan na mukhang sasalo sa bouquet na hawak ni Amanda.

Siniko ako ni Wren nang makalapit kami sa mga tao. Lumingon ako sa kaniya, nakakunot ang noo sa pagtataka.

“You should join the bouquet tossing! Baka tayo na ang susunod na ikakasal kung masasalo mo ang bouquet ni Amanda,” pagbibiro ni Warren.

Umiling ako, “Hindi ako babae, Wren. I’m not allowed to join them. Baka magalit pa sila sa akin!”

Naghintay ako sa sasabihin ni Warren ngunit nagulat ako nang may humigit sa akin. When I noticed that it was Pablo, I tried to stop him by calling his name. Mukhang dadalhin niya kasi ako ro’n sa mga sasalo ng bouquet.

“Pab, bawal ako diyan! Baka magalit sila sa akin!” halos pabulong kong sabi sa kaniya.

“Why would they be mad if that bouquet of flowers is already for you?”

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko nang makalapit kami dahil imbis na ibato ni Amanda ang bouquet ay iniabot niya ito sa akin.

Amanda took my hands and put the bouquet of flowers on it. Tulips. Bouquet of tulips. Ito pa talagang paborito kong bulaklak. Siya na mismo ang nagtikom ng mga palad ko. I was left speechless. Lahat ng tao ay nakatingin sa amin ngunit pansin ko na nakangiti ang lahat na tila ba masayang-masaya sa nangyayari.

“Congrats, soon-to-be Mister Prado,” said Amanda. With that, I heard something explode from behind, and moments later, confetti was falling from the sky.

Napalingon ako sa likuran at doon bumungad sa akin si Warren. Nakaluhod siya sa isa nitong tuhod, habang ang isa namang paa ay nakaalalay sa kaniyang puwesto. Nakaharap sa akin ang hawak niyang pulang kahon, nakabukas ito. Despite its size and the darkness of the night, the ring still sparkled beautifully before my eyes. Napaangat ako ng tingin kay Wren na nakangiti sa akin kahit bakas ang nagbabadiyang luha sa mga mata. Behind him were people holding each letter of ‘Will you marry me?’ illuminated by silver LED lights, making them stand out even more. Muling bumalik kay Warren ang buong atensiyon ko. At this moment, it felt like it was just the two of us, surrounded by flower lamps that seemed like stars had come down to join Wren in his plan. The beauty of universe conspired to support him.

“Even though I haven’t gotten your sweet ‘yes,’ I want to take the risk of asking you today,” he began. “Win Del Cino, will you be my lifetime partner? Will you marry me?”

Napasapo ako sa aking bibig kasabay ng pagbuhos ng aking mga luha. I didn’t cry because of sadness, these tears were from a strong wave of joy.

“Yes, Wren. Yes. I want to marry you,” I uttered.

Kasabay ng maingay na hiyawan ng mga tao ay isinuot sa akin ni Warren ang singsing. It was perfectly fit to my finger.

He stood up and pulled me into a warm embrace.

“Akala ko ay nagdadalawang-isip ka pang sagutin ako,” dinig kong sabi niya habang yakap ako.

I pulled myself from him and looked him into his eyes. Pinunasan ko ang mga pisngi niyang basa ng luha.

“Kung hindi nga lang kasal ni Amanda at Pablo ito ay baka nagpa-schedule na rin ako ng kasal natin ngayon, ora-mismo. Wren, I want you to know that I love you, and I won’t hesitate to stay with you, spend the rest of my life with you, only you.” I stared into his eyes with so much love just to remind him that I meant every word I said.

Hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip. I kissed him in front of everyone.

“Win?”

Nabalik ako sa reyalidad nang marinig ko ang mahinang pagtawag ni Wren sa pangalan ko. The cold air embraced me as the warmth of my tears streamed down my cheeks. My hands, cupping my lips to suppress my cries, tightened slowly. It was all in my thoughts. It didn’t actually happen.

Napalingon ako sa paligid. Everyone seemed shocked, startled. Sino ba naman ang hindi magugulat dahil kanina pa ako hindi nakakapagbigay ng sagot kay Warren.

I noticed the horror slowly forming in his eyes. I didn’t bother to hold back my tears because it was pointless. Hindi rin naman nito maihihinto ang pag-iyak ko.

I removed my hands from my lips and knelt down, mirroring what Wren was doing. I made sure to close the distance between us.

Hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya kasabay ng pagbagsak ng kaniyang mga luha.

“Don’t cry, please,” I whispered softly.

“Are you rejecting me, Win?” he asked, his voice trembling as if it might break.

Pinunasan ko ang luha ng lalaki at saka siya ikinulong sa aking mga bisig. I hope this hug will heal him somehow .

“I love you, Wren, but I’m so sorry. I’m just not ready for this,” I said as I stood up and walked away from the center of the crowd surrounding us.

Sobrang nabingi ako sa katahimikan. My tears were blinding me. Luckily, people made way for me so I could easily escape. Kahit hindi isa-isahin, ramdam kong lahat sila ay nakatingin sa akin, dismayado. Sino ba namang hindi madidismaya sa ginawa ko? I refused to marry the man most of the girls dreamed of.

Narinig ko pa ang pagtawag ni Amanda at Pablo sa pangalan ko ngunit hindi ko sila binalingan ng pansin. I was so determined to get away from here, from them, from Warren.

Heaven knows how much I love Warren. Simula noong nagkaisip ako, siya na ang kasama ko hanggang sa kasalukuyan. It would be disrespectful to say yes, to marry him, knowing that I’m still not over Rendy. Hindi ko magagawang mahalin si Warren gayong alam kong may bahid pa rin ni Rendy sa puso ko. I don’t want to look at him, imagining the man I had loved once. I don’t want to conceive Wren as Ren because it’s not right. I want to love Wren as Wren, not as Ren. It must be a hard decision for me, and more painful for Wren, but I know it would be good for him, for us. He will thank me one day for doing this, but right now I just need to mourn for this heart, for the kind of love I have for Rendy that should be buried under the ground. I hope it’s as easy as throwing it in the water and letting the waves bring it to its depth. Sana ganoon na lang kadali para hindi ko nasaktan ng sobra si Warren. I just couldn’t imagine the pain I caused him, and the embarrassment I let him suffer alone.

“Sorry, Wren,” I whispered when I lost my strength and fell to my knees. Mabuti na lang at buhangin ang sumalo sa akin dahil kung hindi, siguradong nagkasugat ang mga tuhod ko.

The calmness of the sea waves touched my senses. Stars were scattered everywhere as if celebrating with us, and the moon also illuminated with such beauty and glow, making everything noticeable, even my burdened heart. Isn’t it ironic that everything seemed calm and safe, yet what I felt now was too heavy for me to carry? Kasalanan ko naman. Bakit sinisisi ko kahit ang maliit na bagay na napapansin ko? Anong iniiyak-iyak ko ngayon? Mabuti na lang at nakalayo na ako sa kanila, dahil kung malapit ako nang nadapa, baka masundan pa ako ni Warren o ng kung sino man sa kanila doon.

Instead of gazing at the night sky and feeling the calmness of the waves, I cupped my face and cried like a kid. This time, no Wren to comfort me like he used to.

Tanga mo, Win. Humindi ka tapos ngayon iiyak-iyak ka?

“I don’t know what to feel right now, Win.”

Napahinto ako nang marinig ang boses na ’yon. Agad akong napaayos ng p’westo para hanapin ang taong nagsalita. I was startled to see Rendy in front of me, dressed in his casual plain shirt and pants. He was wearing a cap to hide the burns on his skin and face. Both of his hands were tucked inside his pockets.

‘I missed you,’ he said. I could see the sincerity in his eyes. I would be in denial to say I didn’t feel the happiness that rushed over me. Sobrang saya ko na makita siya ngayon.

I wanted to reply and tell him how much I missed him, but I felt numb when I saw what he pulled from his pocket.

“I hope this will help you move-on easily,” he uttered, placing the nozzle of the gun to his temple.

“You’re the universe I failed to protect. I’m so sorry, Win,” he almost whispered.

Gusto kong sumigaw ngunit naging pipi ako ng nga oras na ’yon. It felt like my energy had ran out and I couldn’t even move a finger. Tila nawalan ng saysay ang katawan ko at tanging paglagaslas lang ng luha ko ang tangi kong nagagawa.

“Warren, please take good care of Win for me,” said Rendy, as if looking at someone behind me. I couldn’t even bring myself to look, even though I knew Warren was already there.

“Don’t do this-” Wren didn’t even finish his sentence when we heard a gunshot. My heart skipped a beat, and the deafening sound of the gunshot filled my ears, as if it were breaking both of my eardrums. I couldn’t even hear Rendy’s body as it fell and hit the sand.

The calmness of the night and the solemn waves from the seashore didn’t bring me peace or solace this time. Instead, they only deepened my pain, triggering my tears even more as I realized, with a hollow ache in my chest, that the person I once loved had taken his own life right before my eyes, in front of Warren and me. The weight of his loss crushed me, and I could hardly breathe from the suffocating sorrow that flooded my heart.

*

Happy new year guys! Sorry at late update na ito 🥹

-KuyaSen

🚩25: Vintage Feelings

WIN

“Sigurado ka na ba talaga diyan sa plano mo, Win?” tanong sa akin ni Calvin.

I didn’t hesitate to nod my head and give him a tiny smile. Alam ko namang suportado niya ako sa kung ano man ang mga naikukuwento ko sa kaniyang plano.

Nandito kami ngayon sa shop ko sa pinakasulok ng lugar malapit sa glass curtain kung saan matatanaw ang abalang kalsada ng Riverside Valley. There are plenty of people inside my coffee-flower shop. Fortunately, the noise from their chatter didn’t affect my conversation with Calvin.

“Kanina mo pa ako kinakamusta samantalang ikaw ’tong alam kong nagsesenti pa rin.” Pinanliitan ko siya ng mga mata, tinatantiya. “Ni hindi ka nga um-attend sa kasal ni Pablo at Amanda—” nahinto ako nang maalala ang insidente sa kasal.

Tatlong buwan na rin simula noong kitilin ni Rendy ang sariling buhay sa harapan ko at ni Warren. That incident has made a huge hole in my heart, and a scar that will surely remain forever. Gumawa ito nang malakas na ingay sa media. Kahit na biglang nawala sa industriya si Ren noon, maraming tao at mga kapwa niya artista ang nagulat sa sinapit niya. I even saw Francis at his funeral. Oo. I attended his funeral. Alone. Wala na kasi si Warren dito noon.

“Masaya na ako para kay Amanda, Win. Whatever happened between us before will remain a beautiful memory we shared. Masaya na akong nakakita siyang bumuo ng pinapangarap niyang pamilya—and Win, si Attorney Pablo na ’yon, oh! Alam kong hindi siya pababayaan noong lalaking ’yon!” proud na proud na sabi ni Calvin sa akin.

Kahit anong gawin niya, kita ko pa rin ang lungkot sa mga mata nito. I know how much he loves Amanda. Kahit na may bago na siyang nililigawan ngayon, I know how much he loves and values Amanda, that girl.

“Win,” pagkuha ni Calvin ng atensiyon ko. Right at that moment, I saw concern in his eyes. There was a hint of pity that I didn’t want to acknowledge.

I didn’t respond to him.

“Don’t blame yourself for Rendy. It’s not your fault that it happened.”

Napansin niya siguro ang biglang pagkawala ko sa focus. Naramdaman ko tuloy ang luha na unti-unting nabubuo sa gilid ng aking mga mata. Ayaw ko ng ganitong pakiramdam.

I was about to leave when Adrian approached us, a tray in his hands. He served our coffee just on time.

“Sorry, natagalan,” sabi niya. “I’m still learning how to make the perfect blend para naman kapag umalis na si Win ay hindi mapahiya ang Warren’s Winflower Café na ako ang pinili niyang maging bagong Restaurant Manager ng shop,” sabi niya pa.

“Alam ko namang hindi mo pababayaan ang shop ko hanggang sa bumalik ako. You deserve the shot, Manager Adi,” I told him. Ginawa kong masigla ang boses kahit na sa kabilang panig ng puso ko ay gumuguho na.

Sumibol ang magandang ngiti sa labi niya. “I promise I won’t fail you with this, Win. Aalagaan ko ang shop mo like how you took good care of it.” Lumapit si Adi sa akin at niyakap ako. His hug brought comfort to my heart.

Nagpaalam na siya sa akin at iniwan na kami ni Calvin dalawa. The two of us talked during our remaining time, sharing little stories until we agreed to say our goodbyes

Nauna na siyang umalis matapos magpaalam at yumakap sa akin. Kikitain pa kasi nito ang nililigawang aktres na si Solene.

Nang maiwan ako mag-isa sa table namin ay pinagmasdan ko muna ang buong coffee-flower shop, inaalala ang lahat ng masasayang ala-ala ko sa lugar at kung gaano ako nagsumikap na mabuo ito. Alam kong hindi pababayaan ni Adrian ang shop ko na ito kaya siya ang napili kong maging manager sa mga panahong wala ako sa Riverside Valley. I know he needs money to earn for his parents and I’m just here to help him. In return, he will fulfill my responsibilities as the manager of Warren’s Winflower Café. Malaki ang tiwala ko sa kaniya kaya sana ay hindi niya ito sayangin.

Hindi na ako nagpaalam pa kay Adi at nagtungo na ako sa labas ng shop. Mula sa kinatatayuan ay humirit pa ako nang sulyap sa kabuoan ng coffee-flower shop bago sumakay sa ni-book kong taxi. Adi, sa ’yo ko muna ipagkakatiwala ang shop na ito. Ikaw na muna ang bahala sa nagsilbing pangalawa kong tahanan sa mga panahong parang tinalikuran ako ng lahat.

“Sa Sunflower village, block five, third street po kuya. Salamat,” sabi ko sa drayber.

Nag-umpisa na siyang magmaneho kaya naman ginawa kong abala ang sarili na pagmasdan ang kalangitan sa labas.

Pagkayari ng kasal nila ay lumipat na rin ang mag-asawa sa nabiling house and lot ni Pablo sa Sunflower Village. Kahit na isang oras ang biyahe papunta ro’n ay wala akong pakialam. I need to see them before my flight tomorrow. Hindi p’wedeng hindi ako makapagpaalam bago lumisan ng bansa.

Habang nakamasid sa payapang kalangitan ay sumagi sa isip ko si Rendy. Malinaw pa sa akin lahat ang mga nangyari noong gabi na ’yon. Ang kasal na inaakalang masaya ay naging bangungot para sa akin. The man I once loved killed himself right in front of me. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakaahon sa hukay na ginawa ni Rendy para sa akin. Basta kinaya ko na lang lahat. Mas naging mahirap lang sa akin dahil imbis na manatili si Warren sa tabi ko ay umalis din siya upang bumalik sa Amerika. Sino ba naman ang hindi magagalit sa ginawa ko sa kaniya, ’di ba? I rejected him in front of everyone. Napahiya siya. I know he questioned himself about where he fell short in everything he had done to me.

May umalpas na luha sa mga mata ko kaya agad ko itong pinahid. Baka mahiwagaan pa ang drayber sa akin dahil sa pagsesenti ko rito sa likod. Nakakahiya!

Naka-idlip ako sa likod dahil sa tagal ng biyahe. Takip-silim na nang makarating ako sa Sunflower Village. Nagpasalamat na ako sa taxi driver nang maihatid niya ako sa mismong harapan ng bahay nila Pablo at Amanda.

“Ninong!” sigaw ni Thalia nang makita ako. Agad siyang lumabas ng gate upang tumakbo papalapit sa akin upang magmano at yumakap.

Amanda showed up at the front door, surprised.

“Kumusta?” I asked her while smiling.

“Win! What brings you here? Halika at pumasok ka muna. Ipaghahanda kita ng kape,” sabi niya sa akin habang sinasalubong ako. She hugged me when she reached my spot. “Dito ka na mag-dinner. Sakto ang bisita mo! I was preparing Garlic Buttered Steaks.”

“Sige. Sige,” sagot ko sa kaniya. Sumunod na ako papasok sa bahay nila. “Wala pa si Attorney?” I asked, pertaining to Pablo.

“Pauwi na rin siya. Driving na,” sagot ni Amanda.

Dinala niya kami ni Thalia sa sala.

“Maupo ka muna. I will prepare you a coffee,” paalam niya saka umalis upang magtungo sa kusina.

“Ninong, na-miss kita!” sabi sa akin ni Thalia.

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at piniga ang pisngi nito. Napaka-cute kasi! “Mami-miss ka ni Ninong Win!” sabi ko na lang. Kita ko ang pagtataka sa mukha niya pero mas pinili niyang huwag na lang magtanong. She went to her toys and started playing with them.

Tumayo ako at nagtungo sa kusina, kay Amanda. Naabutan ko siyang naghahalo ng kape sa puting tasa.

“Your coffee,” she said and handed me the cup of hot coffee.

Tinanggap ko ito at saka nag-tungo sa dining table. I sat on one of the chairs and watched her cook the garlic buttered steak.

“Magpapaalam lang ako bago ako pumunta ng Amerika,” pag-uumpisa ko.

Napansin kong nahinto siya sa ginagawa at dahan-dahang humarap sa akin. “Susundan mo na si Wren doon?” magkahalong saya at gulat ang nakita ko sa mukha niya. Slowly, I nooded and smiled.

Tumakbo si Amanda patungo sa akin at tuwang-tuwa na yumakap. Halos magtatalon ang babae dahil sa saya.

“I’m so happy you made up your mind, Win!” aniya.

Kumalas ito sa pagkakayakap sa akin. “I’m rooting for the both of you! Sa inyo talaga ang boto ko una pa lang!”

“I know,” sabi ko. “Masusunog na ang steak mo,” natatawa kong paalala.

“Ay, oo nga pala! Sorry!” Dali-dali siyang nagpunta sa stove para asikasuhin ang niluluto. “Anyway, how about your business here? The coffee-flower shop?”

Ikinuwento ko sa kaniya lahat habang nagluluto siya. Sa kalagitnaan nang pag-uusap namin ay dumating na si Pablo.

“Win! I’m glad to see you here!” masayang bati niya sa akin at saka yumakap.

I gave him a man hug. Naupo siya sa bangko sa gilid ko. “Nabisita ka yata? Kumusta?”

“I’m going to America to see Wren, Pab,” I said to him.

A proud smile born out of his lips. “I knew it!” he said while slowly nodding. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t tell him. I-surprise mo na lang siya.”

When the steaks were finally done, we planned to eat together. Thalia and Pablo sat beside me, while Amanda took the spot in front of me.

Masaya akong makasalo sila sa pagkain. That dinner was the happiest dinner I had with them. Like Amanda earlier, Pablo asked me about the cofee-flower shop and just like what I told his wife, I shared him everything.

“Huwag kang makakalimot na mangamusta, ah?” untag sa akin ni Pablo nang maihatid nila ako sa front gate. Yumakap pa si Thalia sa akin na ayaw akong pauwiin.

“I-video call mo kami lagi, Win,” sabi naman ni Amanda.

“I will. Don’t worry,” sagot ko. Nasa labas na ang na-book kong taxi kaya nagpaalam na ako sa mag-anak bago pumasok sa sasakyan.

“Riverside Valley, Kuya. Sa Warren’s Winflower Café. Thank you,” I told the taxi driver.

Kahit na matagal ang biyahe ay hindi ako dinalaw ng antok sa pagkakataong ito. I made a flower bouquet for Rendy this morning, and to keep it fresh, I placed it in the flower cooler.

Nang mayari ang biyahe ay kinuha ko lang saglit ang bouquet ng white roses at saka umalis din agad. Ni hindi na nga kami nagkita ni Adi sa loob ng shop. Makuha ko lang ang pakay ko ay sumibat na rin ako agad.

“Sa Riverside Valley Cemetery, kuya. Thank you,” sabi ko doon sa drayber.

Naiwan pa siyang nakatitig sa akin mula sa rear-view mirror ng taxi.

“Seryoso, sir?” tanong niya pa sa akin. Marahil nagtataka siya kasi gabi na tapos ngayon ko pa naisipang bumisita sa sementeryo.

“Opo,” sagot ko.

Hindi na siya nagtanong pa at nagmaneho na ulit. Ilang minuto lang ay nandoon na kami. Maliwanag naman sa sementeryo pero dahil gabi na ay sadiyang malamig na ang ihip ng hangin. Kahit nakakatakot ay hindi ko magawang maramdaman ito habang binabaybay ang daan patungo sa puntod ni Rendy.

Nang matanaw ito ay inilapag ko na rin ang hawak na bungkos ng puting rosas.

“Aalis na muna ako,” sabi ko sa kaniya. Pansin ko ang iba’t ibang klase ng bulaklak na nakasalansan sa ibabaw ng puntod niya, marahil ay galing sa mga tagahanga nito.

“I don’t know if I will go back here. Baka doon na ako tumira kay Wren,” paliwanag ko pa.

“Hindi na ako magtatagal dito. Nagpaalam lang talaga ako sa ’yo. I hope you’re happy wherever you are now, Ren,” sambit ko at saka tumalikod na upang maglakad palayo.

Ren did many evil things to me, but I know deep down inside my heart that I once loved him. Kaya siguro hindi ko magawang magtanim ng sama ng loob sa kanya. Sana ay maayos siya kung nasaan man siya ngayon. I will definitely miss his smiles.

*

Nang makauwi ako sa condo unit ko ay tulog na si Mama. Before Wren decided to go back in America, sinundo niya si Mama at Papa sa probinsiya. Mom was the only one who came with him, while Dad stayed in the province. Bago umalis ang best friend ko, nagawa niya pang ilapit ako sa aking nga magulang kasi alam niyang hindi ko kakayanin kung pati siya ay aalis. My mom served as my support mechanism to keep me sane during those times that I wanted to give up. Kung hindi siya sinundo ni Wren ay baka nagpakamatay na ako sa loob ng condo unit ko. Kahit na wala si Dad, alam kong darating ang panahon na matatanggap niya rin ako.

I carefully took my luggages out from my room, making sure that I wouldn’t disturb my mother. Wala na kasi akong balak gisingin siya mamayang aalis na ako para pumunta ng airport sa accomodation kung saan ako maghihintay ng aking flight.

Nang mailabas ang dalawang maleta ay nagtungo muna ako sa unit ni Wren. I opened his door and switched-on the lights, revealing me the cleanliness of his room. Kahit umalis kasi ang kaibigan ko’y hindi ko ito pinabayaan. I made sure the house cleaners will clean his unit too. Madalas ay dito rin ako tumatambay lalo na kapag nami-miss ko si Warren. I mostly check his artwork and admire every piece of his creations. Marami sa k’warto niyang nakasabit na frame kung saan nakapinta ang mga gawa niyang obra. Mga parte ng mukha ng tao. Kagaya ng ilong, mata, labi, kilay—teka? Bakit ngayon ko lang naisip ’to?

I made my way toward his room and looked for those artworks. Isa-isa kong tinanggal sa pagkakasabit at saka parang piraso ng puzzle na inilapag sa kama niya.

Nang nabuo ito ay napatakip ako sa aking bibig habang pinagmamasdan ang sarili sa mga obra na ginawa ni Warren. It’s me. A front close-up hand painted craft of my face.

Hindi ko alam pero naging emosiyonal ako ng mga sandaling iyon. My tears started to form around my eyelids, they were verging to fall but I fought back not to crack.

“You’re like a puzzle that is so hard to understand, Wren,” I whispered.

Napalingon ako sa cabinet niya. I remembered something inside of it. His lockbox.

My body moved and seconds later, I found myself getting that old lockbox.

I sat on his bed when I got hold of it. The cold feel of its steel welcomed my senses. I traced the dents and scratches on it and slowly held the pendant of my necklace — its key.

Tinanggal ko ang suot na k’wintas upang kuhanin ang pendant na susi. Slowly, I opened the lockbox using it and to my surprise, there weren’t anything inside of it. Marahil ay kinuha niya? Good thing I still have his journal, which I didn’t continue reading. Maybe it’s about time to open it again and reveal the rest of the story.

I was about to lock the lockbox when I noticed something from the bottom. A key hole?

Sinubukan kong isuot ang pendant na hawak at laging gulat ko nang magkasiya ito. So, there’s a hidden part in this lockbox, huh?

The bottom part could be opened like a door, so I slowly pulled it.

Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang mga luha nang rumagasa ito matapos makita ang bagay na nakakubli sa tagong parte ng lockbox na iyon.

“Wren, wait for me. I’m coming to see you,” I said as tears flowing freely from my eyes.

*

A/N

Binitin. Siyempre para basahin niyo ang Epilogue nito. Opkors! Susunod na ang real epilogue nito! I’m glad na mayayari ko na ang The Red Flag Enjoyer (para mayari ko na rin sana ang Sekyu ng Centro Uno mwehehehe (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ)

Anyway, thank you for reading! Salamat sa mga matiyagang naghintay sa napakakupad na update ng authornim na ito. Busy sa buhay working student T^T

-Kuyasen

🚩Epilogue

WIN

The coldness of California, USA, greeted me the moment I stepped off the plane. After a long and tiring flight, I was finally here.

I took my luggages and left the place. Binigay naman sa akin ni Pablo ang exact location ni Wren kaya hindi ako mahihirapang puntahan siya. I just need to show the location to the cab driver I booked.

Nang makita ang sasakyan ay pumasok na rin ako.

“Hi, sir! Good morning!” bati nito sa akin. Ang guwapo, foreigner kasi. Pero mas guwapo pa rin ang best friend kong si Wren, siyempre.

I showed him my phone. He responded with a gentle nod and started driving.

“Which country do you come from, sir?” he asked, starting a conversation.

I smiled. “The Philippines,” I replied.

“Oh, I see. You’re so handsome, sir! The American girls will surely like you!” pagbibiro pa nito sa akin.

“Thank you, sir, but actually, I’m here to see my boyfriend,” I confessed.

Nakita ko ang gulat sa mga mata niya mula sa rear view mirror.

“I didn’t expect it, sir! I hope you have fun visiting our country with your boyfriend. We have good beaches here too!” mabuti na lang at hindi homophobic si Kuya dahil sa pagiging magiliw nito. Sa daldal niya ay hindi ko na namalayan pa ang oras ng biyahe. He stopped in front of a modern house. The exterior design wowed me. Sleek lines, large windows, and a minimalist style gave the house a sophisticated and welcoming feel. I couldn’t help but admire the attention to detail in every corner. It looked like something out of a magazine. Ito na ba ang bahay ni Wren dito? Grabe sa ganda!

I thanked the driver and handed him the payment. Nang makalabas ako ay pinagmasdan ko muna ang buong lugar. Tabi-tabi ang mga bahay rito. They were separated by wooden fences, with maple trees scattered everywhere. The hues of reddish-orange leaves made me admire the entire place. It felt peaceful, like a perfect blend of nature and design. Mas lumitaw ang ganda ng mga bahay sa ganda ng mga punong nakapaligid. I like here.

Naglalaro ang kaba sa dibdib ko nang makumbisi ang sarili na magdoorbell. I composed myself. I straightened my polo shirt and then combed my hair with my hand. I smelled my breath by cupping my mouth while breathing heavily. Good thing it smelled fresh.

Tumayo ako nang maayos sa harap ng doorbell bago ito pinindot ng dalawang beses.

I waited for some time, expecting Wren to appear at the front door but no one showed up. Nag-doorbell pa ako ngunit wala talaga.

“Are you looking for Mr. Prado?”

Napalingon ako sa nagsalita. It was an old woman who seemed to be on her daily morning walk. I nodded at her.

“He probably went to his business. It’s located in Central Coupland. The shop’s name is Win’s Artmats. He sells art materials for artists, and he also does actual sketching there! He’s a good artist!” she said.

I was taken aback by the shop name she mentioned. Business ito ni Wren pero nakapangalan sa akin. I wondered if he was regretting naming his shop after me because I rejected his proposal.

“Thank you, Madam,” I said and looked for a cab.

Mabuti na lang at nandiyan siya para magbigay sa akin ng direksiyon. This old woman was a heaven-sent!

Nang makasakay sa cab ay binanggit ko agad ang lokasiyon na pupuntahan ko. It’s just a fifteen-minute drive to where Wren’s house is located. Malapit lang ito rito.

We stopped in front of a tidy shop. The old lady was right. The shop’s name is Win’s Artmats. I’m glad Wren followed his heart and pursued his love for art. It felt like the kind of place where creativity could truly thrive. The shop had an inviting, warm atmosphere, with colorful art supplies neatly displayed and sketches hanging on the walls.

I paid for the ride and got out of the car. Hindi naman masiyadong maraming tao sa loob. Sapat lang para makita ko ang pakay ko. He seemed so busy.

Taking a deep breath, I walked toward the entrance, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. As I pushed open the door, the scent of paint and freshly sharpened pencils filled the air. The guard greeted me as he gave me a number tag for my luggages. May isang babae na kahera at isang lalaking merchandiser. Different art materials were properly arranged everywhere. In the right corner of the shop was his spot, where people lined up for a live sketch. Siguro mga limang tao ang nakikita kong nakapila ngayon at meron ding mag-asawa na nakasalang.

I carefully made my way to the last person in line, making sure he didn’t notice me. Gusto ko lang siya surpresahin.

Siguro mga trenta minutos din ang hinantay ko bago dumating ang pagkakataon ko.

“Have a seat,” he uttered without looking at me. Abala pa siya sa pag-aayos ng mga gamit. “What do you want, sir? Close-up? Bust-up? Whole body?”

I didn’t respond.

“I only draw caricature—” nahinto ito nang sumilip siya sa akin.

“Hi?” nakangiti kong bati sa kaniya.

It took him some time to bring back to his senses. Natulala pa sa akin, e.

“W-win?” Ramdam ko ang panginginig sa boses niya.

“Bust-up shot na lang po, please,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

He took my joke seriously as he began to draw.

Ipinasok ko ang kanang kamay sa suot na pantalon upang kuhanin ang pakay. When I get a hold of it, I felt at ease.

Hinayaan ko siyang mayari sa ginagawa. I wasn’t sure how long I had waited for him to finish. He simply handed me a sketch of my face, and just like before, it amazed me.

“I’m always be your number one fan,” I said as a matter of fact.

“What are you doing here, Win?” he asked, his face showing suppressed emotions of happiness.

Hindi ko siya pinansin. I took out the box from my pocket, opened it and showed him the ring he supposed to give me during Amanda and Pablo’s wedding.

“I found this thing in your lockbox,” sabi ko.

Napasapo si Wren sa bibig niya, gulat na gulat sa mga nangyayari.

“Kung hindi pala ako nangalkal sa k’warto mo para puntahan ka rito, edi wala sana tayong wedding ring sa kasal natin?” I said.

Tears escaped from his eyes. I could tell that they were tears of joy.

“Sorry for rejecting you back there. I was honestly not ready at that time.” My voice was quiet, but the sincerity in my words seemed to hang in the air between us. He looked at me, his eyes searching mine, as if trying to find the truth in my apology. A long silence followed, but this time, it didn’t feel awkward. It felt like we were both finally facing the reality of what had been left unsaid for so long.

“Gusto ko munang tanggalin si Rendy sa buhay ko para kapag ikaw na ang minahal ko, wala na akong makikitang Rendy sa katauhan mo. Hindi ko na siya hahanapin pa sa ’yo, Wren, dahil ikaw si Warren, hindi si Ren na minahal ko noon,” mahaba kong paliwanag sa kaniya.

I looked him directly in the eyes, making sure he would listen to what I was about to say.

“This time, it’s my turn to ask. Will you marry me, Warren Prado? Will you spend a lifetime with me?” My heart raced wildly. Takot akong ma-reject kahit na ako mismo ang gumawa ng bagay na ’yon sa kaniya. It’s so funny how afraid I am to feel the same hurt I made him feel when I rejected him. What if he rejects me too? Paano na ako?

The silence between us felt deafening, yet it was the kind of silence that held a thousand unspoken words. I held my breath, hoping my confession wouldn’t tear us apart.

Wren stood up, and people inside the store started cheering. Everyone seemed so happy, witnessing the bravery I had shown today.

Wren walked closer, never breaking eye contact. His tears kept falling, but the happiness in his eyes made me feel at ease.

“Why would you ask me if you already got my answer, Win?” he uttered, his voice thick with emotion.

The crowd fell silent for a moment, as if holding its breath. I could feel the weight of his words, and for the first time, I realized that perhaps we were always meant to find our way back to each other.

Namuo ang mga luha sa gilid ng aking nga mata.

“Of course, I will marry you.”

Then my tears started falling.

I stood up, gently placed the ring on his finger, and wrapped him in the warmest embrace I could offer.

The joyous noises from the people around us filled my ears, but in that moment, everything else faded away. It was just us, standing together, as if the world had paused to witness this. I closed my eyes and silently thanked the heavens for this beautiful moment, for giving me the win, the victory I deserved.

Hindi ako talo ngayon.

It’s so funny that I was named Win , yet I always felt like I was losing in life. That’s what Rendy told me, and it’s something that’s stayed with me all these years, echoing in my mind even now.

I didn’t have a perfect life. It was full of flaws. I cried like everyone else. I laughed when joy filled my heart. I loved someone who took me for granted. But this time, I know my love will be reciprocated. I am no longer a loser.

Lumayo ako mula sa pagkakayakap kay Wren. He gently touched my cheek, his eyes filled with admiration and love. Napangiti ako sa guwapong nilalang na nakatitig sa akin ngayon, knowing that in this moment, everything had changed.

“I love you, Win. I always have,” he uttered, his voice barely a whisper, but it was everything I needed to hear.

A flood of tears welled up in my eyes. “I’m so sorry for noticing you late. I love you, Wren. I love you too.”

In that instant, I felt my heart finally heal. The emptiness I had carried for so long melted away, replaced with the warmth of knowing that love, despite its timing, had found its way into my life. I wasn’t just Win anymore; I was someone who had finally won—won the love I deserved.

And as we stood there, in each other’s arms, I realized that sometimes, the greatest victories in life aren’t the ones we expect. They’re the ones that come when we least anticipate them, when we’ve learned to embrace all of our flaws, and when we’ve learned that it’s never too late to love and be loved in return.

*

01/10/2025

THE END.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

THE RED FLAG ENJOYER

Hi there! Kuya Sen here. I just want to thank you for reading my novel and reaching up to this part. Thanks for patiently waiting for my updates. I’m no popular but you still supported me, and I was truly blessed to have a reader like you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

If you still want to read some BL novels, might check out my profile to see more.

The Red Flag Enjoyer now signing off. . .

xxx