ANDI & TRISTAN

Hi guys! Sa wakas, published book na po ang TSGFL. You can finally grab your copy at all bookstore nationwide for 195php. Available din po siya sa digital bookstore na Buqo.

May special chapter akong idinagdag sa book.

Thank you po sa patuloy niyong pagsuporta sa story ni Andi at Tristan. Salamat sa mga bumili ng book at mga bibili pa. :)

Chapter One

“Hi, I’m your cousin. My name is Miranda but you can call me Andi.” Nakangiting sabi ko at inabot ko ang kamay ko sa kanya. Anak siya ni uncle James sa ibang babae at kailan lang ipinakilala sa amin. He just graduated from Harvard and uncle is throwing a party for him.

“Hi.” Pormal ang mukhang sabi nito.

Napahiyang ibinaba ko ang kamay ko. Ang sungit naman nito! “Uhm, congrats nga pala.”

“Salamat.” Matipid na ngumiti ito. Tatatlikod na sana ito ng pigilan ko.

“Ay, wait lang, Phoenix. May regalo pala ako sa’yo.” Inabot ko sa kanya ang regalo kong isang box na paint set. Nalaman ko kasing mahilig itong gumuhit.

“Maraming salamat. Ilagay mo na lang dun.” Sabi nito at itinuro ang mesa na puno ng regalo.

Ginawa ko ang sinabi niya. Inilapag ko ang regalo ko sa mesa pero ng tumingin sa kinatatayuan niya kanina wala na siya dun. Gusto ko lang naman maramdaman na welcome siya sa pamilya. I know uncle Jame’s wife hates him. She refers to him as ‘James’ bastard’. I don’t think he is getting along well with his half siblings. He’s being treated like a family outcast. Kaya nga gusto ko makipagkaibigan sa kanya dahil alam ko ang nararamdaman niya. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere.

“Hija, why don’t you mingle with the other guests?” Inakbayan ako ni daddy.

“Err… Wala po akong kilala sa kanila.” Inayos ko ang salamin ko.

“Sumama ka sa mga pinsan mo.” Sabi ni daddy.

I made a face. My cousins are all bunch of snotty assholes and bitches. Ako ang underdog sa magpipinsan, madalas nila akong i-bully bata pa lang kami. “Ok na ko dito, dad.”

Umiling-iling si daddy. “Why can’t you be normal, Miranda?”

“Daddy naman! I AM normal!” Nakasimangot na sabi ko.

“Honey, what’s happening here?” Lumapit si mommy na may hawak na isang baso ng champagne.

“Sinasabihan ko lang itong anak mo na makihalubilo naman sa mga tao.” Sagot ni daddy.

“Miranda, your dad’s right. Huwag mong sayangin ang oras mo sa kababasa ng libro. Go out, hang out with your friends, enjoy your life.” Sabi nito.

Ugh! I hate it kapag sinesermonan nila ako tungkol sa pagbabasa ko ng mga romance novel at hindi ko paglabas ng bahay. I am not a social person, introvert ako! Can’t they just accept me for who I am? Maswerte nga sila sa akin. I don’t sleep around, I don’t do drugs and I don’t waste their money buying expensive stuff like most girls my age. Books are my only addiction.

“Oh please, mother, give me a break. Can’t you just be thankful that I didn’t turn out to be a meth addict? You make it sound like I’m doing something wrong with my life. I don’t go sleeping around and getting pregnant. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to spend time with myself than hang out with those rich brainless hypocrites. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with Rhett Butler.” I rolled my eyes. Si Rhett Butler ang hero sa binabasa kong romance novel na Gone with the wind.

“You’re not going anywhere, darling. I already set you up on a date with someone. A real guy.” Hinawakan ako ni mommy sa braso para hindi ako makaalis.

“Mother, stop interfering with my personal life, will you?” Inis na sabi ko.

“Jason, darling, come over here.” Lumingon si mommy sa likuran niya. Isang matangkad at gwapong lalaking naka midnight blue tuxedo ang lumitaw mula sa likuran ni mommy. Gosh, makalaglag panty ang kagwapuhan. “Sweety, this is Jason. Jason, my daughter, Miranda.”

“Nice to meet you, Miranda.” Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at dinala sa mga labi niya. He gently kissed the back of my hand. OMG! Akala ko sa mga pocketbooks lang ginagawa ng mga lalaki ang ganon.

“Uhm, Y-you… Too.” I’m stuttering. Nakakahiya.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Nakangiting sabi ni mommy. Tumalikod na si mommy at daddy.

“So, Miranda how old are you?” Tanong nito.

“Nineteen.” Sagot ko.

“Quite young. I’m 25 years old.” Sabi nito.

Awkward silence. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Ngayon ko na realize how socially dysfunctional I am.

“Wanna go for a walk?” Tanong nito.

“Sure.” Sagot ko.

He took my hand at lumayo kami sa maraming tao. Napunta kami sa liblib na parte ng garden.

“Teka, saan mo ba ako dadalhin?” Tanong ko.

“I just want to spend some time alone with you.” Nakangiting sabi niya.

“Ok…” Sabi ko.

“Let’s sit over there.” Turo nito sa isang malaking puno. Hinubad niya ang tuxedo jacket niya at inilapag sa damuhan. Pinaupo niya ako doon. Kinikili ako! No guy has ever treated me like this. Feeling ko ako yung bida sa pocket books na binabasa ko.

Umupo siya sa tabi ko. “Andi, tell me about yourself.”

Nag-isip ako sandali. “I like reading books.”

“Me too. I’m a big fan of Stephen King. Mahilig din ako sa history at mga biography books. What tyoe of books do you like to read?”

“Gusto ko yung mga classic romance novel katulad ng Pride and Prejudice, The Count of Monte Cristo at Gone with the wind, Romeo and Juliet.” Sagot ko.

“Hopeless romantic ka ’no?”

“Medyo.” Nahihiyang sabi ko.

Hinawakan niya ang baba ko at iniangat ang mukha ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko ng walang sabi-sabing hinalikan niya ako. MY FIRST KISS! Gusto ko siyang itulak pero parang nanigas ang buong katawan ko. Bakit ganito? Parang walang spark. Hindi katulad ng mga nababasa ko sa pocket books. He deepen the kiss, I felt his tongue trying to enter between my lips. Ew gross! Nag-ipon ako ng lakas para itulak siya.

“Ano bang problema?” Inis na sabi nito.

“Y-you kissed me!”

“Walang mali doon. Fiancee kita!”

“Fiancee?” Gulat na sabi ko.

“Yes. Ipinagkasundo na tayo ng mga magulang natin kaya wala na tayong magagawa. We’re stuck together. Kaya enjoyin na lang natin ito.” He grinned. Kinabig niya ang ulo ko at muli niya akong hinalikan. I tried pushing him pero malakas ito. Napahiga kami at dinaganan niya ako. Oh my god! I think I’m going to get raped! Mabilis niyang nababa ang strapless dress ko hanggang sa tiyan ko. Buti na lang may bra ako.

“Dude, I don’t know where the fuck I am…” May narinig akong boses ng isang lalaki. “Hindi ko nga alam kung nasaan ako… Yeah, sinunod ko naman yung sinasabi mong direction…”

“Jesus Christ, get a room!” Gulat na sabi niya ng makita kami. Huminto si Jason sa paghalik sa akin at tumayo ito.

“No, not you… may mga nagtutukaan dito.” Natatawang sabi ng lalaki sa kausap niya sa phone. Inayos ko ang dress ko. Humabol ako sa lalaki at kumawit sa braso niya. I want to get away from that pervert. Gulat na napatingin ito sa akin. “May I help you?”

“Please, ilayo mo ako dito.” Nanginginig ang boses na sabi ko.

“Andi!” Tawag ni Jason. Hindi ako lumingon sa kanya. Napahawak ako ng mahigpit sa braso ng estrangherong ito. My whole body was shaking.

Lumapit si Jason sa amin. “Andi, come on.” Sinubukan niyang akong kunin mula sa lalaki pero inilayo ako nito.

“Don’t you dare touch her kung ayaw mong basagin ko mukha mo.” Pagbabanta nito.

“She’s my fiancee.” Sabi ni Jason.

“Wala akong pakialam kahit asawa mo pa siya. Kapag ayaw sumama sayo ng babae hindi mo pwedeng pilitin. Naiintindihan mo?” Matalim ang titig nito kay Jason.

“Masyado kang pakielemero!” Sabi ni Jason at ng akmang susuntukin niya na ito mabilis nakailag ang lalaki. He punched Jason in the face.

“Ganun ang tamang pagsuntok! Tanga!” Sabi nito habang nakahiga si Jason sa damuhan at nangingiwi sa sakit ng pagkakasuntok sa kanya.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Napayakap ako sa kanya. My knight in shining leather jacket.

“Hands off, lady.” Tinanggal niya ang pagkakapulupot ng mga braso ko sa dibdib niya. Tumalikod na ito at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

“Sandali lang.” Humabol ako sa kanya.

“Stop following me!” Inis na sabi nito.

“Take me away from here!” Sabi ko. Hindi na ako babalik sa party na iyon. How could my parents plan my own life ng hindi sinasabi sa akin? May fiancee na ako? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with that manyak. Gusto ko ako ang pumili ng taong mamahalin ko. I want to find my soulmate! Hindi ako papayag na ipakasal lang ako ng magulang ko samkung sinuman ang trip nilang ipakasal ako.

“Natulungan na kita. Umaabuso ka naman, kung gusto mong umalis dito. Umalis kang mag-isa mo.” Sabi ng lalaki.

“Please? I don’t have a car.” Ipinakita ko ang paawa face ko.

“Wala rin akong kotse.” Sabi ng lalaki.

“Paano ka nakarating dito?” Tanong ko. Hindi naman niya pwedeng lakarin ito dahil ang laki-laki ng lugar na ito.

Ngumuso siya sa isang direksyon. Tumingin ako doon, isaang itim na motorbike ang nakaparada doon.

“Pwede na yan.” Sabi ko.

“Woman, leave me alone. Hindi ako driver.” Sabi nito at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

“I have cash.” Sabi ko. Huminto ito.

“How much do you have?” Tanong nito.

“Five thousand pesos.” Sagot ko. “I’ll pay you a thousand.”

He smiled. “Ba’t hindi mo sinabi agad? Tara na.”

Inakbayan niya ako papunta sa motorbike niya. Sumakay siya doon at ng akmang sasakay na ako sa likod niya pinigilan niya ako. “Hep! You have to pay first.”

Itinaas ko ang mahabang dress ko. Sa ilalim nun naka jeans ako. Dumukot ako sa bulsa ng jeans ko at inilabas ang wallet ko. Kinuha ko ang isang libong papel at inabot sa kanya. Pinasakay niya ako sa likod

“Wear this.” Inabit niya sa akin ang itim na helmet niya.

“Paano ka?” Tanong ko dahil wala na itong dalang extra helmet.

“I’ll be fine. Kumapit ka maigi.” Sabi niya sa akin. Sinunod ko siya at yumakap ako sa likuran niya. He smells so good!

“Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!” Sigaw ko ng paharurutin nito ang bike niya lalong humigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya. Kaskasero naman itong driver! Sumusuot kung saan-saan, ang bilis bilis pa magpatakbo.

“Saan kita dadalhin?“Tanong nito. Halos hindi ko siya marinig dahil sa lakas ng hangin na humahampas sa akin.

“Sa motel.” Sagot ko.

“Saang motel?” Tanong nito.

“Kahit saan!”

Itinigil nito sa gilid ng kalsada ang sasakyan. “You need a place to stay?”

“Yeah.”

“Pwede ka sa apartment ko. May isa akong bakanteng kwarto.” Sabi nito.

Nagliwanag ang mukha ko. “Really? Pwede akong magstay sa apartment mo?”

“Oo, dalawang libo lang per month.” Sabi nito.

Akala ko naman nagmamagandang loob ito. Pero hindi na rin masama. Dalawang libo sa isang buwan. “Sige. Dalhin mo ako sa apartment mo.”

Muli niyang pinaandar ang motorbike. Pumasok kami sa isang makitid na kalsada. May mga nagkakaraoke at umiinom sa gilid ng kalsada.

“Sino na naman yang kasama mo, Tristan?” Tanong ng isang aleng nagtitinda ng barbeque. Huminto kami sa tapat nun.

“Bagong room mate ho.” Sagot ng lalaki. Ah, Tristan pala ang pangalan niya. “Dalawang barbeque nga saka apat na isaw.”

Inabot sa kanya ng babae ang order niya at binayaran niya iyon. Ini-start niya ulit ang motorbike at huminto kami sa tapat ng isang malakjng green na gate. Bumusina ito at mabilis naman kaming pinagbuksan ng isang lalaking malaki ang katawan at puno ng tattoo sa katawan. Tatlong lumang building ang nakapalibot sa loob nun. May basketball court sa gitna at may kanya-kanyang binagkakaabalahan ang mga tao doon. May mga batang naglalaro ng chinese garter, mga babaeng nagbibingo, mga lalaking umiinom at naglalaro ng cards.

“Nagtotong-its kami, gusto mo sumali?” Tanong ng lalaki.

“Hindi na muna. Wala akong pera.” Sabi ni Tristan.

Ipinarada niya ang motorbike sa gilid ng building.

“Dito tayo.” Sumunod ako sa kanya. Walang pinto ang building, isang malaking hagdan agad ang bubungad sa’yo. Umakyat kami hanggang sa makarating kami sa ikaapat na palapag. Naglakad kami sa hallway hanggang makarating kami sa pinto na may nakasulat na number 46-B. Dinukot niya ang susi mula sa bulsa at binuksan ang pinto. Hindi naman kalakihan ang loob nito. May isang itim na couch ito at maliit na tv. Sa likod ng couch nandoon ang kwadradong mesa na may dalawang upuan. Inilapag niya doon ang biniling barbeque. Kumuha siya ng dalawang plato sa cupboard at kutsara’t tinidor.

“Kumain na tayo.” Sabi nito. Sinenyasan niya akong lumapit sa kanya.

Umupo ako sa upuan sa harap niya. Nasa gitna ng mesa ang rice cooker.

“Go ahead.” Pinauuna niya akong kumuha ng kanin.

I opened the rice cooker at sumadok ng kanin. Pagkatapos ko ay siya naman ang naglagay ng kanin sa plato niya.

“Isang barbeque para sa akin at isa para sa’yo.” Inilagay niya ang isang stick ng barbeque sa plato ko at inilagay niya naman ang isa sa kanya. “Isaw?”

“I don’t eat isaw.” Sabi ko.

“Okay, more for me!” Sabi nito. “Ano nga ulit ang pangalan mo?”

“Andi.” Sagot ko.

“Andi, dapat kumakain ako ngayon ng masarap na pagkain sa party pero dahil sa’yo ito ako nagtyatyaga sa barbeque.”

“Sorry…” Hingi ko ng paumanhin.

“Pero ayos lang. May mapapala naman ako sa’yo eh. Bigay mo na sa akin yung isang buwang renta mo.”

Dumukot ulit ako sa jeans ko at kumuha ng two thousand pesos. Inabot ko sa kanya iyon. Kinuha niya iyon at nilagay sa bulsa niya. “Yan ang gusto ko sa’yo madali kang kausap.”

Chapter Two

“I want to take a bath.” Sabi ko ng matapos kami kumain.

“Anong gusto mong gawin ko paliguan pa kita?” Sarkastikong sabi nito.

Inirapan ko siya. “I don’t have any clothes.”

 

Hindi ko naman pinlanong lumayas sa amin kaya bakit ako magdadala ng damit. Gusto ko ng makaalis sa evening dress na ito. I have jeans under my evening dress but I don’t want to use it again. That’s disgusting.

Tumayo ito at pumasok sa isang pinto paglabas nito may dala-dala ito. Inihagis niya iyon sa akin at tumama sa mukha ko. Inayos ko ang salamin ko. This guy is so rude! Isang puting t-shirt at navy blue jersey shorts ang inihagis niya sa akin. Malaki ang mga damit pero pwede na rin. At least comfortable iyon.

“Do you have any towel?” Tanong ko.

“Gamitin mo yung nasa banyo. Kapapalit ko lang kaninang umaga nun.” Sabi nito

Pumasok na ako sa bathroom. It was very small pero malinis na man iyon. May maliit na sink at salamin tapos may toilet na walang flush. So you have to manually flush it using tabo. It’s like the toilet we used while we were camping when i was in high school. Tapos may faucet at timba. And no shower! Ugh!I took of my clothes. Inilapag ko ang glasses ko sa may sink.

Binuksan ko ang faucet at kinuha ang tabo na puno ng tubig at binuhos ko sa akin. Kung nasa bahay ako, siguro nakalubog ako ngayon sa bath tub habang nagbabasa ng Gone With The Wind. But I am not going home. Panindigan ko ang paglayas ko. I felt something crawling at my feet. Tinignan ko iyon at napalundag ako ng makita ko ang ipis sa paa ko. Napasigaw ako at nagtatakbo. Without thinking, I opened the door at tumakbo ako palabas. Because I was still very wet nadulas ako. I landed on my back.

“What the fu-” Nanlaki ang mga mata nito ng makita ako. I groaned in pain. I tried to move pero ang sakit ng katawan ko. He quickly picked me up at dahan-dahang inilapag sa couch. Hindi ko alam kung saan itatago ang katawan ko. I am completely naked in front of this stranger. I tried to cover my breast and my lady part with my hands.

“Saan masakit?” Tanong niya.

“Don’t look at me…” Nahihiyang sabi ko.

“For fuck’s sake. Nadulas ka na yan pa ang aalalahanin mo. I’m not going to rape you. Now tell me, saan ang masakit?”  Nagtaas ito ng boses.

“M- my back.” Sagot ko.

Dahan-dahan niya akong idinapa. I’m so embarrased. My butt is completely exposed to him. He started moving his hands on my back. Slightly putting pressure. Napasigaw ako sa sakit. Lalo niyang idiniin ang mga kamay niya sa parteng iyon.

“Masakit dito?” Tanong niya.

“Obviously!” Pagalit na sabi ko.

Lalo niyang idiniin ang kamay niya at tumawa siya. That was so mean!

“Can you move?” Tanong nito.

“Yeah but it hurts alot.” Sagot ko.

He continued moving his hands from my shoulders down to my hips. This time he was very gentle. It sent volts of electricity throughout my body. I felt my whole body get hot as my heart started racing. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. This feeling is all new to me.

“Ohh…” I made a weird sound. It just slipped out of my mouth.

Huminto sa paggalaw ang mga kamay ni Tristan. “I don’t think you’ve broken a bone. Nabugbog lang siguro ang katawan mo.”

 

“Uh, thanks. Can you get me a towel, please?”

 

“Sure.” Umalis ito at bumalik na may dalang twalya. He covered my body with the towel at binuhat niya ulit ako. Dinala niya ako sa kwarto at inihiga sa kama. Palagay ko kwarto niya ito dahil sa mga gamit sa loob.

“Dito ka muna matulog. Aayusin ko pa yung kwarto mo.” Sabi niya.

Tumango ako.

“Wala akong damit.” Sabi ko.

“You don’t need one. May kumot ka naman. I-relax mo muna yang katawan mo.” Sabi niya. Tinakpan niya ng kumot ang katawan ko.

“Good night and thank you.” Sabi ko bago siya lumabas ng kwarto.

He smirked. “Hindi ako tumatanggap ng thank you.”

 

Pagkasabi ay isinara niya na ang pinto. I looked around his room. It’s very untidy. His clothes and other things are scattered around the floor. May mga photographs na naka-hang sa wall. Mga lugar sa iba’t-ibang bansa. I felt my eyes get heavy. It’s been a long day, ang daming nangyari sa isang araw. I need some rest.

Nagising ako sa malakas na tugtog. I’m still so sleepy. Hindi ko madilat ang mga mata ko sa sobrang antok. I covered my ears with a pillow. It didn’t work. I decided na bumangon na. I wrapped the towel around my body.

I’m bringing sexy back

Them other boys don’t know how to act

I think you’re special, what’s behind your back?

So turn around and I’ll pick up the slack.

Dirty babe

You see the shackles

Baby I’m your slave

I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave

It’s just that no one makes me feel this way

 

Nagluluto si Tristan habang sumasayaw ito. Nakatalikod siya sa akin kaya hindi niya ako nakikita habang nanonood ako sa kanya. Nagulat siya ng humarap siya at makita ako. Napahinto siya sa pagsayaw at hininaan ang stereo.

 

“Good morning, Angie.” Sabi niya.  

  Angie???? 

“It’s Andi.” I corrected him.    

“Oh my bad, Andi. So how’s your back?” Tanong nito.    

 

“Ok na.” Ngumiti ako.                

“Di ba may pera ka pa?” Tanong nito.

“Oo.” I answered.

“Bibili tayo ng damit mo kaya magbihis ka na. Well, unless you want to walk around naked. That’s fine too.”

I gave him a bitch stare at tumawa lang ito.

 

“Suotin mo ang jeans mo saka yung shirt ko. I washed all your clothes.” Sabi niya. Hindi ko siya ma-imagine na naglalaba ng damit. I bit my lips. He washed my underwears too? That is so nakakahiya! “Kunin mo sa terrace. Tuyo na yun.”

 

“Teka, I can’t take a bath may ipis sa bathroom.” 

 

“I killed it last night.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Naligo na ako at nagbihis. I wore my jeans and his white shirt. Malaki sa akin but it will do. Ipinusod ko ang buhok ko at isinuot ang salamin ko. My mom hates it kapag ganito ang ayos ko. Nagmumukha daw akong masungit na old maid but I don’t really give a darn about my appearance. Wala akong tiyagang maglagay ng mga make-up o mag-ayos ng buhok.

We had a breakfast bago kami umalis. Nagluto si Tristan ng tocino at garlic rice. Bihira sa lalaki ang marunong magluto at mag wash ng clothes. I think it’s very cute. Pagkatapos namin kumain lumabas na kami ng aparment niya at sumakay sa motorsiklo. I thought he was going to take me to a mall but he took me to a tiangge. I’ve never shopped at a tiangge before.

“That would look good on you.” Ngumuso si Tristan sa isang itim na dress na nakasuot sa mannequin. Maikli iyon at hapit sa katawan.

“I would never wear something like that!” Sabi ko.

“Why not? You have a banging body.” Nakangising sabi niya.

Nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi ko ng maalala ang nangyari kagabi. He saw everything! “You’re a pervert!”

 

“I was just kidding.” Natatawang sabi niya.

 

Inirapan ko siya.

May nakita akong simpleng shirt na nagkakahalaga lang ng 75 pesos. Grabe! Sobrang mura naman ng mga damit dito.

“Gusto mo yan?” Tanong ni Tristan ng makitang hawak ko ang shirt.

I nodded. Tinawag niya ang tindera.

“Miss, 50 na lang ’to.” Sabi niya. Tumatawad pa ang mura na nga.

“Hindi kaya eh.” Sabi ng Tindera.

“

Sige na, miss beautiful. Singkwenta na lang.“ Aba nang-uuto pa ang loko.

Pinipigil ng babaeng wag mapangiti. “Sige na nga! Pasalamat ka gwapo ka.”

 

“Salamat.” He grinned.

Ang galing talaga ng loko tumawad. Ang dami kong nabili na damit and I spent all my money. If sa mall ako nag-shopping I would probably only get like 2 shirts sa 2000 pesos ko.

“Uy, thank you ulit ah.” Sabi ko sa kanya. Ang dami niya ng nagawa sa akin.

“Anong thank you? Sabi ng hindi ako tumatanggap ng thank you. Ang dami mo nang utang sakin.”

 

“I don’t have any money left.” Sabi ko.

“I know you’re already broke. Kaya gagawin na lang kitang maid bilang kabayaran sa lahat ng utang mo.”

 

“Maid? Are you kidding me?” Nanlalaki ang matang tanong ko.

“No, I’m not. Wala ka ng pera kaya syempre ako magpapakain sayo. Aba! Mahal na mga bilihin ngayon. Walang libre sa mundo. Kung ayaw mo pwede ka naman umalis sa apartment ko pero hindi ko na maibabalik ang pera mo. Walang refund refund sa akin.” 

 

Sandali akong nag-isip. Kapag umalis ako sa apartment niya, I’ll have nowhere to go. Wala pa akong pera! I think being a ‘maid’ isn’t so bad. Pero wala naman akong alam sa pagluluto, o paglalaba o paglilinis ng bahay. I have never even touched a broom my whole life. But I can probably get through it naman… I hope.

“Fine. I’ll be your maid.” I rolled my eyes.

Chapter Three

“Get me a beer, yaya.” Nakangising utos ni Tristan. Yaya? Seriously? Did he just call me yaya? Arrrgggh! Kanina pa siya utos ng utos since we got home from tiangge. I walked for like three hours sa tiangge tapos when I got home I had to do all the dishes na ginamit namin kaninang umaga. And he was very maarte pa. He keeps saying na hindi pa malinis yung mga dishes so I had to do it all over again. Ano bang alam ko sa pagwawash ng dish? Pft! Lalong lumaki ang respeto ko sa mga maids namin sa bahay. They had to do this every day! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!

I rolled my eyes and got him a can of beer from the fridge. He’s just sitting on the sofa watching tv and drinking his beer while I start sweeping the floor. I’m just hold the walis and start moving it, ginaya ko yung mga ginagawa ng mga maids namin. But I really have no idea what I’m doing.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Kunot ang noong tanong nito habang nakatingin sa akin. Obvious ba nagwawalis? Psh! “Ikinakalat mo lang yung mga dumi.

Magwalis ka mula sa dulo tapos ipunin mo.“

 

“Like this?” I started sweeping from the corner of the room to the center. Inipon ko ang dumi katulad ng sinabi niya.

“That’s better.” Sabi nito at ibinalik na ang paningin sa tv.

After sweeping the floor inutusan naman niya akong itapon ang basura sa kitchen. So I did. Lumabas ako ng apartment at itinapos ang basura sa baba ng building sa malaking garbage bin. A girl in red tank top and really short shorts came up to me. Kulot-kulot ang buhok nito at naka red lipstick. She has a pretty face in a trashy kind of way. Her face is all caked up, it’s like she’s wearing two pounds of make up.

“Sino ka?” Tanong ng babae. Para itong investigator sa tono ng boses nito.

“I’m Andi.” Sagot ko.

“Ikaw yung babaeng dinala ni Tristan hindi ba? Bakit nandito ka pa?”

 

“I live with him.”

 

“Ansaveh?!” Isang lalaking naka headband na kulay pink at naka tshirt na powerpuff girls at nakamaikling shorts ang lumapit at pumamewang sa tabi ng babae. I think he’s gay…

Tumaas ang kilay ng babae. Uh-oh! Am I going to get bullied again? Madalas ganito ang scenario noong high school ako, I always get bullied alot. Because I used to wear braces and glasses and they thought I was weird. Kasi tahimik ako at hindi pala kaibigan. They picked on me alot. Nang mag-college lang ako nahinto ang pagbubully sa akin. Sa college kasi puro matured na ang mga tao.

“Hindi ikaw ang tipo ni Tristan. Sigurado ako pangkama ka lang.” Mataray na sabi nito.

“Ew! Gross! What are you guys talking about! I’m only living with Tristan kasi wala akong matutuluyan.” Sabi ko.

“So hindi ka girlfriend ni Tristan?” Tanong ng guy na kasama niya.

“No, I’m his… maid.” Nagdalawang-isip pa akong sabihin na maid niya ako.

“Aba, teh! Lumelevel up na talaga yang future jowa mo. May maid na ngayon at spokening english pa ang julalay.” Sabi ng gay guy.

May gumuhit na ngiti sa labi nito. “Ako nga pala si Sasha at ito ang kaibigan kong si Jomar.”

 

“Jodie, gaga!” Tili ng gay guy.

“Jodie pala.” Sabi ni Sasha.

“Nice to meet you two. I have to go back na kasi baka may iutos sa akin si Tristan.” Paalam ko.

  “Teka, alam mo ba ang number ni Tristan?”  Tanong ng babae.

“No, sorry.”

 

“Nakatira kayo sa iisang bahay hindi mo alam number ni Tristan?” Eksena ng gay friend niya.

“I don’t have a phone kasi. Laters!” Sabi ko sa kanila bago ako tumalikod. I went back to Tristan’s apartment and he was still watching tv and already downed two cans of beers. Wala pa akong masyadong alam sa lalaking ito. I don’t know what he does for a living. How old he is. May girlfriend na kaya siya. Siguro meron na, sa gwapo ba naman niyang yan.

“What?” Tanong nito ng makitang nakatitig ako sa kanya.

“Uh, nothing. Wala ka na bang ipagagawa?” Sabi ko.

“Masyado mo naman sineseryoso ang pagiging katulong mo. Sit with me.” He motioned me to sit next to him. Dahil masunurin ako, I did . “Wala pa akong alam sa’yo bukod sa pangalan mo, Annie. We live in the same house kaya mas mabuting magkakilala tayo hindi ba? After all I’ve seen everything you’re hiding under your clothes.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata. Manyakis na lalaking ito. Napayakap ako sa sarili ko. “How dare you?”

 

Tumawa ito. “Huwag kang mag-alala hinding hindi kita pagnanasahan. You’re not pretty enough for me.”

 

“You’re so rude!” Sabi ko.

“Mukha ka kasing matandang dalaga sa ayos mo.” Sabi nito. He said the same thing my mom said to me. Pero mas naapektuhan ako nang marinig ko yun mula kay Tristan. Feeling ko tuloy ang pangit pangit ko.

“Bakit ba pinakikialaman mo ang ayos ko?” Iritang sabi ko.

“Sinasabi ko lang.” He chuckled. Inabutan niya ako ng isang can ng beer. “Have some beer.”

 

In my 19 years of existence, hindi pa nadadampian ang labi ko ng beer. I’m such a good girl, aren’t I? Funny thing is my parents hated it. My parents hated that I never partied or break any rules. Feeling nila hindi ako normal. I wanna be badass today. Kinuha ko ang isang can ng beer at binuksan iyon. I smelled it. Gross! Ang bahoy ng amoy. Why would anyone drink this?

“Cheers.” Itinaas nito ang can niya ng beer.

Itinaas ko din ang sa akin. “Cheers.”

 

I held my breath and started gulping it. I vommited in my mouth a little bit. Sinubukan kong lunukin iyon but it just keeps coming back in my mouth.

“Ok ka lang.” Tanong ni Tristan.

I tried to smile. I gave him an ok sign with my thumb.

“First time mo?” He laughed.

“No!” Pagsisinungaling ko. I feel really pathetic right now. But I just don’t want him to say na I’m a loser.

“Okay.” Nag-kibit balikat ito. He doesn’t sound so convinced.

“This isn’t my first time. I drink and party alot!” Sabi ko. Now, I sound like a 14 year old trying to be cool.

“Sure, you do.” He smirked.

Then I’ll just have to prove him. I gulped the beer and downed it in 30 seconds.

“Easy there.” Sabi ni Tristan.

“Don’t worry. Sanay ako.” Sabi ko. I took another can of beer and opened it.

Tristan’s POV

“No, I’m not drunk yet…” Sabi nito pero halos nakapikit na ang mga mata. Pang-limang can niya pa lang ng beer pero lasing na siya.

“Matulog ka na.” Sabi ko at inilayo sa kanya ang can ng beer.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Sigaw nito.

“My house, my rules. Matulog ka na.” Seryosong sabi ko.

She lazily smiled. “Alam mo you are so gwapo. Can I kiss you? I wanna kiss you! Hindi ba sabi mo walang libre sa mundo. Hindi pa ako nakakabayad sa pagligtas mo sa akin sa manyakis na ‘fiance’ ko daw.”

 

She straddled me. Ikinulong ng mga palad niya ang magkabila kong pisngi. Damn! Hindi ko akalaing ganito ka-aggresive itong babaeng ito pagnalalasing. Kala mo Maria Clara ang itsura pero wild pala ito pagnakainom… She’s pretty though. Natatakpan lang ng makapal na salamin ang mukha niya at ipinares niya pa sa mahigpit na bun ang buhok nito. Pero nung nakita ko siya kahapon na nakahiga sa sahig, nakababa ang buhok at walang salamin hindi ko siya nakilala. She looked so… different. And I got to see her whole naked body. And fuck, when she moaned while I was massaging her back. I instantly got a boner.

“I’m going to kiss you.” Natatawang sabi nito. Unti-unting bumaba ang ulo niya sa akin. Hindi na nakaabot ang labi niya sa akin dahil bigla itong yumuko at sinukahan ako.

“Goddammit, Andi!” Sigaw ko. Her vomit is all over my shirt and pants. Parang pagod na pagod itong naupo sa tabi ko. What a pain in the ass!

“My head hurts.” Sabi niya. Pagkasabi ay nagsuka na naman ito sa sahig. Tangina naman! Ngayon kailangan ko pa maglinis ng suka nitong babaeng ito. Parang walang nangyaring sumandal ito sa balikat ko at natulog.

Binuhat ko siya at ipinasok sa kwarto niya. Inilapag ko siya sa kama. Why do I always have to take care of her? I am not her nanny. Sakit ng ulo itong babaeng ito. Hinubad ko ang salamin niya at inilagay sa unan sa tabi niya. Hinubad ko din ang damit niya dahil natalsikan din ito ng suka. Inuna ko ang shirt niya o shirt ko na ipinagamit ko sa kanya. She’s wearing the same pink bra she wore yesterday. Alam ko kasi ako naglaba ng mga damit niya. Sumiksik sa isip ko ang imahe ng hubad niyang dibdib. Her breast and her pink nipp… Shit! enough with the pervy thought. Biglang parang nag-init ang buong kwarto. Pagkatapos ay tinanggal ko na ang pagkabutones ng pantalon niya. Tumingin ako sa ibang direksyon para hindi ko na makita ang nasa loob nun. At agad kong tinakpan ng kumot ang katawan niya.

Andi’s POV

 

Why does my head hurts and why do I feel like I’m going to die. Feeling ko may lagnat ako na ewan. Napaupo ako sa kama at tumingin sa paligid ko. This isn’t my room. Nasaan ako? Oh my god!Na kidnap ba ako?

Nagbaba ako ng tingin. I’m only wearing my bra and panties. May nakadikit na sticky note sa taas ng dibdib ko. Hinanap ko ang glasses ko at nakita ko iyon sa unan sa tabi ko. I put my glasses on. Kinuha ko ang sticky note iyon at binasa.

Huwag kang iinom kung hindi mo naman kaya. Tinirhan kita ng breakfast, mahal na prinsesa. sarcasm Nasa pangalawang cupboard ang aspirin. I gotta go to work. -Tristan

 

Now, I remember what happened! Lumayas ako sa amin at sumama sa aking knight in leather jacket. At uminom ako kagabi to prove him na I’m not a loser. Wala na akong matandaan pagkatapos nun.

But why am I half naked? OMG! May nangyari ba sa amin kagabi? Sinubukan kong pakiramdaman ang sarili ko. My lady part isn’t hurting. So I guess wala naman siguro. Hindi naman siguro siya ang tipo ng lalaking mananamantala ng babaeng lasing. Pero it’s still embarrasing twice niya na nakita ang katawan ko!

I got up my bed and looked for my clothes pero I couldn’t find it anywhere. I’ll just use the clothes we bought yesterday. I went to the shower because I smell like alcohol. I took a bath and got dress. I wore a simple white dress na pangbahay. May nakahain na scrambled egg at hotdog sa mesa. I think it was really sweet of him na tirhan pa ako ng pagkain. I would probably starve pag wala siyang iniwan na food. And if I try to attempt to cook I might burn this whole apartment down.

After I ate lumabas ako ng apartment. Tinignan ko ang  mga tao sa baba ng basketball court. Ang aga-aga may nag-iinom na agad. There were kids playing hopscotch and jump rope. Hindi pa ako nakakapaglaro niyan kahit nung bata ako. I read alot when I was little. I didn’t play at all. Ngayon ko lang na realize kung ano ang mga na miss out ko sa buhay ko dahil sa pagbabasa. Bumaba ako sa basketball court para makapanood ng malapitan sa laro ng mga bata.

“Can I try?” Tanong ko sa mga batang nagju-jump rope.

“Ano daw, Bebang?” Napakamot ang ulo ng batang naka-pigtail. Nagkibit balikat ang kasama nitong batang babae.

“Sabi ko pwede ko bang subukan?” Tanong ko.

“Sige po.” Sabi ng bata. Nagsimula silang iikot ang jump rope. Tumalon ako sa pag-ikot nito. Wow! This is so fun. The I got caught in the rope at napaupo ako. Nagtawanan ang mga bata at natawa din ako sa sarili ko.

I made a few friends. Si Bebang, si Tina, si Marie at si Kim. Naglaro kami ng piko at taya-tayaan. This is the childhood I missed. I really had fun with the kids.

Si Marie ang taya at hinahabol niya ako. Natatawang tumakbo ako palayo sa kanya. Lumingon ako sa likod para tignan si Marie nang may mabangga ako sa harap ko. Isang malapad na dibdib ang bumungad sa akin, I looked up and saw Tristan’s face. And he didn’t look happy… at all. Not a bit. Mukha siyang galit.

“Akyat.” He commanded. His voice sounded dangerous. What the hell did I do? Was it about last night?

“Taya!”  Sabi ni Marie ng mahawakan niya ako.

“Bukas na lang ulit tayo maglaro, Marie. Bye.” Sabi ko. Umakyat ako sa hagdan at nakasunod si Tristan sa akin. Wala itong kibo hanggang makapasok kami sa apartment.

“Sorry about last night.” Agad na sabi ko.

“Nang-aakit ka ba ng mga lalaki?” Sabi ni Tristan.

Napakunot ang noo ko. What is he talking about?

“Yung mga lalaking sa baba pinapanood ka habang tumatakbo ka kasi nakikita nilang tumatalbog yang boobs mo.” Sabi nito.

I was shocked sa sinabi niya.

“Are you even wearing shorts under that dress.” Bigla nitong tinaas ang dress ko.

“You perv!” Sabi ko at ibinaba ko iyon.

“All the guys down there had probably seen your panties. Hindi ka na bata, Andi. You should know how to take care of yourself.” He sounded so mad. Para siyang tatay na nagsesermon sa anak.

Chapter Four

“Sabi mo nga di ba mukha akong matandang dalaga? Bakit naman ako pagiinteresan ng mga lalaki doon?” Dahilan ko.

“Takpan lang nila mukha mo pwede ka na sa kanila.” He chuckled. I was really offended pero para akong nabunutan ng tinik nang mag mellow down na siya. Kasi kanina he looked like he was going to skin me alive.

“You are so mean!” Nakasimangot na sabi ko.

Sumeryoso ulit ang mukha nito. “But seriously, don’t ever do that again. Pag nakita ulit kita paglalakarin kita sa labas ng naka bra at panty lang para hindi na mahirapan yung mga tambay mamboso sayo.”

“It won’t happen again, ok?!” Inis na sabi ko. Tumawa lang siya. Gosh! This guy is so bastos.

“Nagmeryenda ka na?” Tanong nito.

Now that he mentioned it. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng gutom. I was too busy playing with my new friends at hindi ko naisip kumain. Besides, wala naman akong pera at hindi ako marunong magluto.

“Hindi pa.” Sabi ko.

“You can’t even fucking feed yourself. Ano ka three year old?” He rolled his eyes.

“You didn’t leave me anything to eat for lunch.” Sabi ko.

“Why would I do that? I’m not your nanny

. Can’t you make yourself a fucking sandwich or something.“ Galit na sabi nito. Gosh! This guy is so bipolar. Ang bilis niya magalit tapos babalik sa normal tapos magagalit na naman.

“No wonder you are so skinny.” He said staring at me from head to toe. That’s another one of my insecurity. Why does he have to point out all my flaws and make me feel like I’m the most ugly human being in this earth? I get teased alot for being too thin when I was in high school.

“I don’t know how to make a sandwich.”  Nahihiyang sabi ko. Ok now I feel so useless.

He looked at me surprised. “God, sandwich na lang hindi ka pa marunong? You don’t know anything! What am I going to do with you, Andi?”

I don’t know why but I feel like I’m going to cry right now. I basically feel like an idiot.

“Are you going to kick me out of here?” Basag ang boses na tanong ko.

Nagbago ang anyo niya. His face soften a little bit. “No, I’m not going to do that. You paid to stay here for a month, remember?” He sighed. “Kumakain ka ba ng instant noodles?”

“No, daddy said it’s unhealthy.” Sabi ko.

“Well, you’d have to start eating it. Kasi iyon lang ang dinner natin ngayon.” Sabi niya. He went to the kitchen and started getting instant noodles from the cupboard. Nag heat siya ng water at nilagay ang noodle dun.Then after a few minutes he took out the noodles from the boiling water and there you have it… cooked noodles. Easy peasy. I could probably do that myself.

“Come on, kumain na tayo.” Sabi niya habang nilalagay ang noodles sa plato.

We ate together. The instant noodles wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It’s the first time I’ve ever tasted this. I’m not maarte naman when it comes to food but daddy is just really strict with what I eat. Kaya nga siguro naging picky-eater ako.

“Sorry wala akong pera ngayon kaya ito lang ang dinner natin. I’m broke as fuck. Kailangan kong ibayad sa landlady yung perang binigay mo sa akin kasi tatlong buwan na akong hindi nakakabayad ng renta.” He said in an apologetic tone of voice.

“It’s ok. It’s quite good, actually.” I smiled.

Sinapo niya sa kamay niya ang kanyang ulo. “Fuck! Hindi pa pala ako nakakabayad ng electricity at water bills.”

Pagkatapos namin kumain I did the dishes cause basically ayun lang ang alam kong gawin… sa ngayon. I mean, I could learn naman sa mga house chores. I’ll try. Naaawa din ako kay Tristan cause he had to deal with me. I know marami siyang pinoproblema base sa sinabi niya kanina. He’s broke and he has to work hard for everything he has right now. Tapos magiging pabigat pa ako sa kanya.

“Tristan, sorry I’m useless.” Tinabihan ko siya sa couch after ko mag wash ng dishes.

“Massage mo na lang ako para maging useful ka naman. My back is killing me.” Sabi niya. Then he took of his shirt. Holy mother of Christ! Napatulala ako sa katawan niya. Damn it! He is so hot. I feel my cheeks burning. Am I blushing?

Dumapa siya sa couch. “My back isn’t going to massage itself, you know.”

I sat sa gilid ng couch. Para akong nakuryente ng dumampi ang kamay ko sa bare back niya. Do I really have to do this? This is so embarrasing.

“

Igalaw mo yung kamay mo.“ Utos niya.

“L- like this?” Sabi ko at iginalaw ko ang kamay ko. I pressed his back with my thumbs.

“Yeah, like that. Do it harder.” Sabi nito. I pressed my thumb harder.

“That’s good…” He said.

I feel like I’m burning. And right now I’m imagining him doing naughty stuff to me. Like what heros do to their heroines sa mga romance novels. Lumalalim ang paghinga ko. Am I getting, what do they call it… um, horny? I bit my lower lips. Nararamdaman kaya niya iyon? Well, I guess not because I just heard him snore. Haha. He must be so tired. Lumuhod ako sa may ulunan niya kung saan nakikita ko ng malapitan ang mukha niya. He’s so cute. Ang himbing-himbing ng tulog niya. We’ve only been together for two days pero attracted na ako sa kanya. Kahit naman kasi may pagka-rude siya he still cares for me. Like the time when nadulas ako and when he cooks food for me. He isn’t the romance novel hero type of guy and his poor pero there’s something about him na special.

I went to his room and got his pillow and blanket. Inangat ko ang ulo niya at nilagay ang pillow dun at kinumutan ko siya. Naupo ako sa sahig sa tabi ng couch. Ipinatong ko ang ulo ko sa gilid ng couch and just watched his handsome face while he sleeps. Then I felt my eyelids get heavier and heavier. Hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na din pala ako.

I woke up na nakahiga na ako sa couch. Agad kong napansin ang yellow thing na nakaharang sa between ng eyes ko. Kinuha ko iyon. Another sticky note sa forehead ko.

Do you really have to sleep on the floor? I made you a breakfast. Ginawa na din kita ng sandwich para sa meryenda mo. Don’t forget to eat. -Tristan

PS I’m really serious papalakarin talaga kita ng naka bra at panty sa labas pag nakita ulit kita.

I smiled as I hugged the sticky note. He really cares about me. I happily ate the food that he made for me. Then katulad kahapon I took a bath and went outside. Nakita ko na naman ang mga friends ko.

“Hi ate Andi.” Bati ni Tina.

“Hello.” I smiled and waved at her. I can’t play with them anymore. I have to act lady-like.

“Laro po tayo.” Aya niya.

“Kayo na lang.” Nakangiting sabi ko. Tumabi sa akin ang mga bata.

“Pinagalitan po ikaw ni kuya Tristan?” Tanong ni Kim. Hindi ako nakasagot kasi totoo naman na napagalitan nga ako. “Hindi ka na pwedeng makipaglaro sa akin.”

“Ah hindi naman sa ganon. Sabi kasi niya uhm, hindi na bagay sa akin yung mga ganung laro.” Sabi ko.

“Boyfriend mo po ba si kuya Tristan?” Tanong ni Tina. How I wish!

“Hindi. Ikaw, ang bata-bata mo pa kung anu ano na ang tinatanong mo.” I tried not to smile.

“Pero bagay po kayo.” Sabi ni Bebang. Talang itong mga batang ito!

“Kayo talaga! O sya, maglaro na ulit kayo. May bibilhin lang ako sa labas.” Sabi ko. Tumakbo na ulit ang mga bata at nagsimulang maglaro ng chinese garter. Nakakainis! I want to join them pero hindi pwede. I don’t want to walk around on my bra and panties!

Lumabas ako sa compound. Hindi ko pa nalilibot ang lugar na ito. It’s very different sa mga lugar na napuntahan ko. May mga vendors sa gilid ng kalsada. May mga naka park na trycicle. Maingay ang mga tao.

Then I saw this little kid na gumagapang sa gitna ng kalsada at may trycicle na dumadating. No one seems to be noticing the kid. I quickly ran to the kid and grabbed him. The next thing I knew I was lying on the side of the street with the kid on my arms.

“Maraming salamat!” Tumakbo ang ale para kuhanin ang bata sa akin. At matilim na tinitigan ang dalaga sa tabi niya. “Sabi ko hindi ba alagaan mo si Erik! Letse ka! Masasagasaan na yung bata puro katext mo pa rin ang iniintindi mo! Wala ka talagang kwenta! Makukunan pa ako sa’yo nyan eh!”

I just saved a kid’s life! This is the greatest think I’ve done in my whole life. I’m so proud of myself.

“Utang na loob ko sa’yo ang buhay ng anak ko.” Sabi sa aki ng babae. “Teka, hindi ba ikaw yung babaeng kasama ni Tristan?”

Oh right! And she’s the woman na nagtitinda ng barbeque.

“Opo.” Sabi ko.

“Hindi nga nagkamali ang batang iyon sa pagpili sa iyo.” Nakangiting sabi niya. “Halika! Magmeryenda ka muna sa kainan ko.”

“Naku! Huwag na po.” Sabi ko.

“Halika na! Huwag ka na mahiya. Iniligtas mo naman ang anak ko.” Hinili niya ako at wala na akong nagawa. May kung anu-anong pagkain na nakahain sa isang mesa. It’s kind of like a buffet. Tapos may nakalatag din na mga upuan at mesa.

“Akala ko po barbeque ang tinitinda niyo?” Tanong ko.

“Sa umaga mga meryenda ang tinitinda namin tapos sa gabi naman barbeque naman ang inilalabas namin.” Sagot ng ale. “Mamili ka na kung ano ang gusto mong kainin. Kahit ano.”

“Huwag na po. Busog pa naman po ako.” Sabi ko.

“Ano ka ba? Subukan mo lang itong mga tinda ko. Subukan mo itong palabok ko! Naku! Gustong-gusto ito ni Tristan.” Sabi ng ale.

“Pwedeng ibalot niyo na lang po para kay Tristan na lang.”

“Ang swerte-swerte talaga sa’yo ni Tristan. Hayaan mo ibabalot ko rin siya nito pero kumain ka din.” Pilit nito. Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi kainin ang ibinigay sa akin ng ale. Masarap nga ang palabok niya. “Ako nga pala si Beth. Ikaw ano ang pangalan mo?”

“Andi po. Matagal na po ba si Tristan dito?” Tanong ko. Para kasing kilalang-kilala niya na ito.

Tumango ito. “Bata pa lang yan nandito na yan. Dati nga namamalimos lang yan. Binibigyan-bigyan ko na lang ng pagkain. Pero kita mo naman ngayon, kahit paano nakakaangat na siya.”

Si Tristan namamalimos? I suddenly felt bad for him. He must have had a rough childhood. Matagal din kaming nag-usap ni aleng Beth at marami akong nalaman tungkol kay Tristan. He’s a photographer and he grew up in the street because he ran away sa bahay-ampunan dahil pinagmamalupitan sila ng mga nag-aalaga sa kanila doon. I feel like I want to hug him. Ang dami dami niyang dinanas and he had no one to care for him.

Nagpaalam na ako kay aleng Beth at bumalik sa compound. Then a man got in my way. Hinarang niya ako.

“Hi miss, anong pangalan mo?” He looked at me like he was undressing me.

“I- I’m Andi.” Sabi ko.

“Ang g

anda mo naman.“ Sabi nito. He was the first to say that and I should feel good but I felt disgusted. Parang may malisya ang pagkasabi niya. “Gusto mong sumama sa akin?”

Why does he think I would come with him? “No thanks.”

Lalakad na ako palayo ng harangin niya ulit ako. “Ang sungit mo naman.” Then hinawakan niya ang ilang hibla ng buhok na nahulog sa tali ko sa buhok at inipit sa likod ng tenga ko. Now I’m totally creeped out.

Then may umakbay sa akin. I looked up and it was Tristan. My hero just arrived in time.

“May problema ba Raul?” Tristan said in a monotone voice.

“W-wala naman, nakikipagkilala lang ako.” Halata sa mukha nito ang takot.

“Mukhang ayaw magpakilala sa’yo ng syota ko. Sa susunod na makita kitang lumapit sa kanya babasagin ko mukha mo.” Banta nito. Oh my god! Did he just say na girlfriend niya ako? Di ba ang syota ibig sabihin nun girlfriend? Right?

“Pasensya na. Hindi ko naman alam na syota mo yan.” Sabi nito at umalis na.

“Saan ka galing?” Kunot ang noong tanong niya sa akin.

“Sa tindahan ni aling Beth. May dala nga ako sa’yo sabi niya gusto mo daw kasi ng palabok niya.” Itinaas ko ang naka plastic na palabok. His expression changed and he smiled.

Umakyat kami sa apartment.

“Did you eat lunch?” Tanong nito.

“Oo naman. Pinakain ako ni aling Beth kasi I saved his son from getting hit by a trycicle.” Proud na sabi ko.

Ginulo niya ang buhok ko na parang bata at ngumiti. “Good job.”

Napasimangot ako sa ginawa niya. He doesn’t seem to treat me like a woman. He thinks I’m some stupid girl na kailangan niyang alagaan. Well, because I’m stupid and dumb.

“Are you liking it here?” Tanong niya. Are you kidding? I love it here! I feel like I truly belong here. I have Tristan, na nag-aalaga sa akin at may nagiging mga kaibigan na ako. Hindi katulad dati. Libro ko lang ang mga kaibigan ko.

“Yes. I wish I could stay here longer.” Sabi ko.

Hindi agad nakakibo si Tristan. After a minute nagsalita siya. “Hindi ka ba hinahanap sa inyo?”

“I don’t want to go back there.” Even my own parents betrayed me! Why would I want to go back there!

“I’m sure nag-aalala na sa’yo ang mga magulang mo. Saka hindi mo ba namimiss ang buhay mo sa inyo? Mahirap ang buhay dito. Minsan wala tayong makain katulad kagabi hindi ba instant noodles lang ang dinner natin? Saka walang aircon dito. Sigurado sa inyo may aircon. Saka minsan napuputulan pa ako ng kuryente.” Sabi nito. Is he trying to convince me na umalis na sabi apartment niya? I must really be a pain in the ass for him.

“Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo, di ba?” Inis na sabi ko.

“Mahihirapan ka lang dito. Look, I could find some way para maibalik ko sa’yo yung pera mo. Umuwi ka lang sa inyo.” Sabi niya.

Naningkit ang mga mata ko. “You’re kicking me out, aren’t you?”

“No… no, it’s not like that. It’s for your own good. Alam kong hindi ka sanay sa mga ganitong bagay.” Sabi nito.

“I could get used to it.”

He sighed. “Ok, kung gusto mo talagang mag-stay then fine.”

“Are you getting annoyed with me kaya mo ako pinapaalis.” I asked.

“Hindi,

kapakanan mo lang ang iniisip ko. I don’t want to drag you in my miserable life. Ayokong mahirapan ka din.“ Sabi nito. Aww that was the most touching thing someone had ever said to me. It’s nice to know that somebody really cares about me.

Chapter Five

I’ve been living with Tristan for a week now. Hindi niya ako napaalis sa apartment niya. I’m getting to know him more and more sa bawat araw na nagdaan. I think I’m having a crush on him. He’s so thoughtful and caring kahit minsan alaskador siya. Pero I get really annoyed lang when he treats me like a child.

So, here I am trying to cook breakfast for him. I cracked the egg on thr frying pan. This isn’t so hard.

“Ouch!” Sigaw ko ng may tumalsik na oil sa akin. I spoke too soon. This is hard and painful! I tried going near the lutuan kaso nagtatalsikan na yung oil. Oh my god! I don’t know what to do. I quickly grabbed yung takip ng frying pan and used it as a shield. Lumapit ako sa lutuan pero natalsikan pa rin ako ng oil. Hanggang sa naamoy ko na nasusunog na ito and the bottom part is turning black.

“Ano na naman ginawa mo, Andi?” Casual ang boses na sabi ni Tristan. Siguro nasanay na siya sa mga kapalpakan ko kasi hindi na siya nagagalit whenever I do something wrong. He just got out from the shower. Basa pa ang buhok nito at ang tanging suot niya lang ay ang tuwalya na nakapulupot sa bewang niya. So hot!

“I can’t go near sa lutuan kasi natatalsikan ako ng oil.” Sabi ko. Kinuha niya sa kamay ko ang spatula. He turned off the burner.

“Bakit kasi nagluluto ka hindi ka naman marunong.” He said.

“Sorry, ayoko naman kasing maging pabigat sayo.” Nakababa ang ulong sabi ko.

“Kainin mo yang itlog mo.” Sabi ni Tristan.

“But it’s burnt!” Sabi ko.

“Hindi naman ako nagsunog niyan. Sayang yan.” Sabi niya.

Kahit ayoko napilitan akong kunin ang burnt sunny side up egg at ilagay sa plato. He stared at me grinning with his arms crossed. This guy is so evil. Hiniwa ko na ang egg at tinusok ng tinidor. I stared at him na tila nagmamakaawa na pigilan niya ako pero binigyan niya ako ng nakakaasar na ngisi. I opened my mouth at ipinasok ko sa bibig ko ang maliit na piece ng burnt egg. Halos hindi ko na nginuya ito, it tasted bitter.

“

Tama na. Itapon mo na yan.“ Pigil niya ng aktong isusubo ko pa ang egg. See! Gusto niya lang akong pahirapan.

“Magbibihis lang ako. Doon na lang tayo sa tindahan ni aling Beth kumain.” Sabi nito.

“May pera ka?” Gulat na sabi ko. He rarely has money.

“Mag-aaya ba ako kung wala.” Sabi nito at pumasok na siya sa kwarto niya. Paglabas niya naka tshirt na siyang puti at naka denim short na umaabot sa knee niya. Nakapangbahay lang siya so obviously wala siyang pasok. Lumabas kami ng apartment.

“Hi ate Andi.” Bati sa akin ng mga bata na naglalaro.

“Ang aga aga niyong naglalaro.” Sabi ko.

“Gusto mong sumali?” Tanong nila. Naglalaro sila ngayon ng hopscotch.

“Kailangan muna kumain ng ate Andi niyo. Di ba kayo naaawa, buto’t balat na to.”  Nakangising sabi niya. Napatawa din ang mga bata. Naniningkit ang mga matang tinitigan ko siya. Ang lakas talagang mang-asar ng lalaking ito. My biggest insecurity is my body. Yung ibang babae nagagalit kapag tinatawag silang fat but I get angry when people call me skinny. Dati kasi madalas akong tinutuksong anorexic ng mga classmates ko. 

“Itong ate Andi niyo sobrang pikon.”  Umakbay siya sa akin. I shrug his hand off of my shoulder. He pulled me closer to him.  “Ngingiti na yan.” 

I tried my best not to smile. He’s just so sweet. Kahit palagi niya akong inaasar pag napipikon na ako nilalambing niya na ko. I gave him a sarcastic smile and rolled my eyes.  “Lika na nga! Kumain na tayo. I’m hungry.”  Kunwaring inis na sabi ko.

Naglakad na kami papunta sa kainan nila ate Beth. She greeted us with a big smile.  “Magandang umaga sa inyo.”

“Good morning.”  I smiled back.  “Kamusta na po si Erik?” 

“Ok naman siya. Malikot pa din.”  Sagot nito. 

Umupo kami sa isang table at umorder ng pagkain. I ordered a longsilog - it’s a longganisa and sinangag with egg. I originally wanted bacon and pancake pero unfortunately wala daw sila nun. 

“Ano’ng akala mo IHOP ’to?”  Natatawang sabi ni Tristan.  “They don’t sell pancakes and bacon here. Karinderya lang ito.”

“Hindi naman masama magtanong di ba?”  Sabi ko.

“Hayaan mo, ibibili na lang kita ng pancake at bacon pagpunta natin sa palengke mamaya.”  Sabi niya.

“You’re going to take me to a wet market?”  Tanong ko.

He was chewing his food so he just nodded at me. I got really excited because I’ve never gone to a wet market before. Nakikita ko lang ito sa mga teleseryeng pinapanood ko. I have lived a very sheltered life and I rarely left the house. I’m glad I ran away from home kasi ang dami ko ng natututunan ngayon.

“Marami ka yatang pera ngayon.”  Sabi ko.

“I just have enough money. Mas magandang bumili na tayo ng pagkain habang may pera ako, para kapag wala na naman akong pera at least may makakain tayo. Baka bigla ka na lang kasing mamatay sa malnutrisyon.”  Sabi niya.

“That’s so mean.”  Nakasimangot na sabi ko. Tumawa lang ito.

After finishing our meal. Sumakay kami sa motorcycle ni Tristan. I like riding on his motorcycle because I get to hug and smell him. He smells so good but like kind of a manly smell. It’s such a sexy smell. He parked his motorcycle at inalalayan niya ako pababa. 

God, it smells awful here. Dahil siguro sa pinaghalo-halong amoy ng mga tinda. Nakalapag lang sa mga table at ang mga meat, fish, vegetable at mga fruits. Kaya pala tinawag na wet market kasi literally basa ang sahig and it’s really muddy-ish. Tristan started buying food at nakikipagtawaran na naman sa mga tindera. He’s using his charm para makakuha siya ng low price. And he did keep his promise. He bought me bacon and yung powdered pancake na nakabox. But he made me carry lahat ng pinamili niya. Para talaga akong maid niya.

“I hope may natutunan ka ngayon kasi ikaw na ang mamamalengke sa susunod.” Sabi niya habang pasakay na kami sa motorcycle niya. 

“What? You’re going to make me go back to this stinky place?”  Sabi ko.

“Kailangan matuto ka na. I’m not your servant. You’re MY maid.”  Sabi nito. Napakunot ang noo niya at napako ang mga mata sa paa ko.  “God, you’re dirty.”

Binaba ko ang tingin sa mga paa ko. May mga talsik ng mud sa back ng calf ko. It was probably from walking sa palengke. He made me sit sa ibabaw ng motorcycle niya at inangat ang paa ko. He got out a hanky and wiped it off. It’s funny. I’m his maid and his my servant. Haha.

We went back to his place and watched television. 

“Ngayon ko lang na realize na wala pa akong alam tungkol sa personal na buhay mo. Bakit wala kang alam na gawaing bahay? Saan bundok ka ba galing?”  Tanong niya habang nakapako pa rin ang mata sa tv.

I rolled my eyes. “We have alot of maids sa amin kaya I never got to do yung mga house chores.”

“Mayaman ka pala talaga. Pwede kitang pagkakitaan. I could call your parents and tell them I kidnapped you.”  He chuckled.

“You really would do that?” 

“Nah.”  He said.  “Pero pag naisipan mo na umuwi sa inyo baka naman pwedeng bayaran mo ako sa lahat ng utang mo sa akin.”

“All you care about is money.”  Sabi ko.

“Well, sorry. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Hindi mo pa nararanasan magutom o mamalimos sa kalsada para may makain.”  He said. I’ve never seen him this serious.

“I’m sorry. That was so insensitive of me.”  Hingi ko ng tawad.  “Ate Beth told me about your childhood. She said you were once a beggar.”

“I’m not ashamed of it.” 

“You shouldn’t be. I mean, look at you now. You’re no longer a beggar, naangat mo ang sarili mo from poverty. You did it alone. You should be proud of yourself.”  Sabi ko sakanya.

“I did awful things bago ako nakaangat sa kahirapan. That’s what I’m ashamed of.”  He said looking away.

“Like what?”  I curiously asked.

“You don’t want to know.”  He smiled.

“I DO want to know.”  Sabi ko naman. 

“Ipangako mo muna na hindi magbabago ang tingin mo sa akin.” Seryosong sabi niya. 

Ngumiti ako.  “Don’t worry. Kahit ano pa sabihin mo, I’d still think of you as a d-bag jerk na ang hobby ay pagtripan ako.”

His face lightened up a bit. Natawa ito. Then he cleared his throat.  “I used to be a call boy and a drug dealer. I was fifteen when I started working as a stripper and selling drugs at clubs. May mga matronang nag-offer sa akin ng malaking halaga para maka-sex ko sila. Tapos naging kabit ako ng asawa ng isang politiko. Pinag-aralan niya ako sa isang maganda at mamahaling eskwelahan hanggang makapagtapos ako ng kolehiyo. We stopped seeing each other when his husand found out about us. I’ve ruined the lives of alot of people, Andi.

“

“Nagbago ka na naman hindi ba?”  I said trying to comfort him.

“Oo, rugby at katol na lang ang binebenta ko ngayon.”  Pabirong sabi niya at tumawa siya. That’s what I admire about him. He doesn’t really take everything seriously. Nagagawa niya pa rin magbiro kahit sa mga seryosong bagay. I guess defense mechanism niya ang humor niya. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to be sad anymore, maybe he was sad and lonely all his life. 

Nawala ang ngiti niya sa labi.

“Siguro iniisip mo ngayon na masama akong tao.”  Sabi niya.

“No, I would never think na masama ka. You were just lost. I think you’re a good person dahil pinatira mo ako dito sa and you took care of me and you were patient with me kahit na puro palpak ako.”

“Kaya lang naman pinagtitiyagaan kita kasi nakabayad ka na sa akin at saka ngayon may napagtitripan na ako.”  Tumawa ulit siya.

Chapter Six

Nasa trabaho na naman si Tristan at katulad ng pangkaraniwang araw nasa loob na naman ako ng apartment niya. I’m cleaning his room. Ang messy messy kasi room ng lalakin iyon. He taught me how to make the bed, sweep the floor and alot of household chores. Unti-unti na akong natututo. At least I’m not as ignorant as I was before noong bago pa lang ako dito.  

His room is all messy. I picked up yung mga pictures na nakakalat sa sahig. He’s a photographer kaya marami siyang photos sa room niya. What I noticed is marami siyang pictures ng magagandang places. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Meron mga pictures caves, beaches, cities. Maybe he likes going to different places. Tapos naka-hang sa wall niya naman mga picture ng Eiffel tower at yung mga white houses sa tabi ng dagat sa Greece. I organized the pictures at nilagay ko sa desk niya sa tabi ng kama. 

Tapos inayos ko ang kama niya at nagwalis ako ng buong bahay at naglampaso. I’m now a certified maid. Pagod na pagod akong napaupo sa couch. Pawis na pawis ako from all the house work I’ve been doing. My white- I mean Tristan’s white shirt turned brownish na dahil sa mga dumi.  Tristan gave me some of his shirt para may pangbahay ako. I like wearing it. I feel like pagsuot ko ito Tristan is touching my body.

Napatingin ako sa orasan. My higlight of the day is yung paguwi ni Tristan from work. I pretend na his my husband in my mind. Oo nga pala, I forgot to take out the trash baka pagalitan pa ako ng hubby ko. Binitbit ko ang maliit na trash bin at bumaba sa apartment kung nasaan ang tapunan ng mga basura. I was walking when someone bumped in to me.. Napaupo ako sa sahig at natapon sa akin ang mga basura.

“Oh God!”  Tinanggal ko ang ibang basura na natapon sa shirt ko. This is Tristan’s shirt pa naman! Bwisit. 

“Sorry, hindi ako tumitingin sa dinadaanan ko.”  Sabi ng isang lalaki. I looked up sa lalaki. He’s a tall guy with a cute face. Inabot niya sa akin ang kamay niya para tulungan akong itayo. 

“No, kaya ko na tumayo mag-isa ko.”  Mataray na sabi ko. Naiinis ako! Why naman kasi yung shirt pa ni Tristan ang nadumihan. I got up sa floor.

“Sorry talaga, miss.”  Muli itong humingi ng tawad.

“Kuya, namiss kita! Saan ka nagpunta?”  Tumakbo si Kim sa lalaki at niyakap ito. Siya yung batang babaeng kaibigan ko at nakalaro ko noon. 

“Namiss din kita. Pero kailangan ko magtrabaho para sa inyo ni nanay.”  Lumuhod ito at yumakap sa bata. Aww! That is so touching. He seems like a nice guy naman kaya forgiven na siya kahit pa nadumihan shirt ni Tristan ko.

Dinampot ko ang trash bin at isa-isa kong dinampot ang mga basura.

“Ako na ang magdadampot, ako naman kasi may kasalanan kung bakit natapon yan.”  He smiled at me. He began picking up the trash. Kinuha niya mula sa akin ang trash bin at siya na din ang nagtapon ng nito sa basurahan.

“Pasensya na ulit.”  Sabi niya ng iabot niya sa akin ang empty trash bin.

“It’s ok.”  Sabi ko naman.

“Ako na ang bahala dyan sa tshirt mo. Ibigay mo na lang sa akin.”  Sabi nito.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Gusto niyang maghubad ako dito at ibigay sa kanya ang shirt ko.  “You’re crazy! Hindi ko huhubarin ang damit ko dito!”

Bakas sa mukha nito ang pagkagulat. “H-hindi iyon ang ibig kong sabihin.”

“Ate Andi, punta ka sa amin! Naghanda si nanay para kay kuya. May mga damit din si ate dun.”  Aya ni Kim.

“N-no thanks. May gagawi-” 

“Sige na, ate Andi. Kahit sandali lang. Doon ka na lang samin magpalit ng damit, si nanay na ang maglalaba niya.”  Hinatak ako ni Kim.

“Oo nga. Daan ka muna sa amin kahit sandali lang para mapalitan naman yang damit mo.”  Sabi naman ng lalaking nakabangga sa akin.

“Kasi-”

“Sige na, ate Andi! Sandali lang naman!”  Pilit ni Kim.

“Sige na nga.”  Pumayag na din ako. Hinila ako ni Kim at patakbong pumunta kami sa apartment nila. 

“Nanay, nandyan na si kuya!”  Excited na sigaw nito ng makapasok kami sa loob.

“Hala! Caloy? Ikaw na ba yan? Naging babae ka na?”  Nakatingin sa akin ang babae. She looks like she’s on her late 40s na at she’s small, hanggang balikat ko lang yata at medyo chubby ito. But she looks nice naman.  “Yan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko eh! Bakit hindi mo agad pinagtapat sa amin na bading ka?!”

“Nay-”  Magsasalita dapat si Kim pero hindi mapigilan ang pagsasalita ng babae.

“Ok lang naman maging bakla anak pero sana yung perang ginamit mo na pagpaparetoke sa mukha mo at katawan mo, sana ipinadala mo na lang sa amin. May mga bading naman na lalaki pa rin ang itsura. Alam mo naman kung gaano kahirap ang buhay natin! Tapos inuna mo pa yan! Anak naman, sana tinulungan mo muna ka-”

“Nay!”  Biglang pumasok ang lalaki sa pinto.

“Caloy, anak!”  Tumakbo ang babae at yumakap sa anak niya. Nang kumalas ito sa pagkayakap bigla itong tumingin sa akin.

“Pasensya ka na, akala ko kasi ikaw na si Caloy. Alam mo naman minsan may mga taong umaalis sa bansa pagbalik babae na.”  Sabi nito sa akin.

I smiled at her.  “Ok lang po.”

“Ayan na ba ang girlfriend mo. Kagandang babae!”  Tanong nito sa anak niya.

“Nay hindi-”

“Ah alam ko na! Asawa mo?” 

“Hindi, nay. Taga-dito din siya nanay.”  Singit ni Kim. “Kaibigan ko siya.”

“Ah ganun pa. Naku pasensya na. Pasensya na din sa pagkamadaldal ko. Ano ba yang dala mo ineng?”  Ngumuso ito sa trash bin na dala ko.

“Ah akin na yan. Ilapag mo muna yan.”  Kinuha ito ni Caloy mula sa akin at humarap sa nanay niya.  “Nay, nasan na ba yung damit ni Grace? Pahiramin muna natin siya.”

“Ah sige, kukuha ako ng damit.”  Sabi ng babae at pumasok ito sa kwarto.

“Pagpasensyahan mo na si nanay. Ganyan lang talaga yun.”  Nahihiyang napakamot ito ng batok.

“It’s ok. Nakakatuwa nga siya eh.”  Natatawang sabi ko.

“Ano nga bang pangalan mo?”  Tanong niya. 

“Andi.”  Sagot ko.

“Hindi ko makita yung mga damit ni Grace baka nasa labahan pa, alam mo naman yung kapatid mong yun ang tamad tamad kahit sarili niyang damit hindi malabhan. Ito na lang kay Ruben.”  Inabot ng ginang sa akin ang itim na tshirt na may nakalagay na ‘Bad Boy’ sa harap.

“Sige na suotin mo na yan at iwan mo na ang tshirt mo dito. Ibabalik ko na lang sayo pag nalaban na.”  Sabi ni Caloy.

“Saan ba pwedeng magbihis?”  Tanong ko.

“Ay sorry. Dito sa kwarto ko na lang.”  Binuksan nito ang pinto sa isang kwarto. Pumasok ako sa kwarto niya at inilock ko iyon. Mabilis ko sinuot ang damit na ipinahiram nila. It’s loose like Tristan’s shirt, syempre lalaki din ang may-ari. Lumabas akong dala-dala ang white shirt.

“Akin na yan.”  Kinuha ni Caloy ang shirt na hinubad ko.

“Uuwi na ako.”  Paalam ko.

“Sandali, kumain ka muna dito. Madami naman inihanda si nanay.”  Aya nito.

“Huwag na lang.”  Sabi ko.

“Ate Andi, nalagyan ko na ang plato mo.”  Sabi naman ni Kim.

“Sayang naman kung hindi mo kakainin. Pinaghanda ka pa naman ng bata.”  Sabi ni Caloy.

“Sige na nga.”  Sumuko na ako. He pulled a chair for me. We started eating. May spaghetti at whole chicken at mga ulam na nakahain sa mesa. Nagsidatingan ang iba pang mga tao at lahat sila parang sabik na sabik makita si Caloy. Siguro he’s been gone for too long.

“Kuya, sino yang kasama mo? Huwag mong sabihin nag-asawa ka na?”  Sabi ng kausap ni Caloy.

“Hindi, taga-dito siya. Kaibigan siya ni Kim.”  Sagot nito.

“Ah ganun ba, taga san ka miss?”  Tanong ng lalaki. Mukhang bata pa ito, siguro mga 15 years old lang ito.

“Sa fourth floor.”  Sagot ko.

“Kapit bahay ka pala namin. Bakit hindi ka namin nakikita?”  Tanong naman ng nanay ni Caloy.

“Hindi po ako masyadong lumalabas.”  Sagot ko.

Oh shoot! Si Tristan! Napatingin ako sa orasan na nakahang sa wall. Hindi ko namalayan ang oras. For sure, nasa apartment na si Tristan. 

“Kailangan ko na pong umuwi. Salamat sa pagkain.”  Sabi ko.

“Hatid na kita.”  Sabi ni Caloy.

“Huwag na, malapit lang naman ako.”  Sabi ko.

“Si kuya oh! Kauuwi lang may pinopormahan na.”  Tukso ng babaeng kapatid niya.

“Tigilan niyo nga ako. Hatid na kita, Andi.”  Pamimilit nito. At kinuha ang trash bin na nilapag niya kanina.  “Ako na magdadala nito.”

Hindi na ako nakatanggi pa dahil sa pamimilit niya. 

“Saan ka ba galing?”  Tanong ko sa kanya habang naglalakad kami sa hallway.

“Nagtrabaho ako ng dalawang taon sa Qatar para makatulong kay nanay. Nakita mo naman kung gaano kalaki ang pamilya namin.”  Sagot nito.

“Kaya pala mukhang miss na miss ka na nila.”  Sabi ko.

“Oo nga, eh. Miss na miss ko din naman sila.” 

“Babalik ka pa dun?”

“Siguro. Pagnakakuha ako ng trabaho dito baka hindi na.”  Sabi nito. 

Malayo pa lang natatanaw ko na si Tristan. Nakasandal ito sa pinto ng apartment. Nakataas ang isang paa at nagsisigarilyo.

“Dito na ako. Salamat sa paghatid mo.”  Kinuha ko ang trash bin mula sa kanya.

Lumingon si Tristan at nagtama ang mga mata namin. He looked angry. Marahas niyang itinapon sa lapag ang sigarilyo at inapakan iyon.

“Saan ka galing? Hindi mo ba alam kung anong oras na?”  Lumapit si Tristan sa amin. Tinitigan nito si Caloy mula ulo hanggang paa.  “Sino ka?”

“A-ako si Caloy. Taga-baba ako.”  He looked intimidated by Tristan.

Walang sabi-sabing hinablot ako ni Tristan sa braso at kinaladkad papasok ng apartment. Marahas na ibinato niya ako sa couch. I’ve never seen him this angry before. 

“Ano’ng ginawa niyo? Ha?”  Tanong nito.

“Wala. Kumain lang ako sa kan-”  Hindi pa ako tapos sumagot ng tanungin niya ulit ako.

“Kaninong damit yang suot mo?” 

Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa suot kong damit.  “S-sa kapatid niya yata.”

“Tangina! Bakit suot mo yan?”  Nagtaas ito ng boses. He’s really scary when he’s angry. I’ve never seen him like this before.

“Kasi natapunan niya yung shirt ko ng basura.”  Sabi ko.

“Saan ka nagbihis?”  Tanong niya.

“Sa kwarto niya.” 

“Sa harap niya?”  Nanlaki ang mga mata nito.

“No! Why would I do that?” 

“Bakit sumasama ka sa kung sinu-sino? Paano kung rapist yung gagong yun? You shouldn’t trust everyone, Andi. May mga mapagsamantalang mga tao dyan.”  Sabi nito. He’s still angry and it’s really scaring me.

“Kuya naman siya ni Kim, eh. Saka mabait naman si Caloy.”  Sabi ko.

“Wala akong pakialam! Huwag na huwag na ulit kitang makitang sumasama kung kani-kanino. I will kick you out of my house.”  Pagbabanta nito. 

“And that shirt is fucking ugly!”  Tinitigan nito ng masama ang shirt na suot ko. Nagulat ako ng hawakan niya ang ibaba ng shirt at pilit niyang itinaas iyon.

“What are you doing, Tristan?”  Gulat na pilit kong ibinababa iyon.

“I’m taking it off.”  Sabi niya. Pilit niyang inaangat ito.

“Stop it!”  Saway ko.

“No!”  Matigas na sabi nito.  “You have nothing to hide, Andi. Nakita ko na lahat ng itinatago mo.”

“You are such a jerk. Let go!”  Pilit kong ibinababa ang tshirt na suot ko.

“Fine! Ayaw mo pahubad sa akin.”  He suddenly ripped the shirt in half at marahas na ibinato ito. Now, bra na lang ang suot ko.

I hugged myself para matago ang exposed na part ng katawan ko.  “This is borderline molestation, Tristan.”

“Molestation, my ass.”  Sabi niya bago pumasok sa kwarto niya. Agad din itong lumabas na may dala-dalang puting shirt. Ibinato niya iyon sa akin at tumama sa mukha ko. 

“Suotin mo yan.”  Paggalit na sabi niya bago ito muling pumasok sa kwarto niya at ibinagsak ang pinto. Ang kapal naman ng mukha niya. Siya pa may ganang magalit ako na nga ang hinubaran niya. Bwisit na lalaking yun!

Chapter Seven

“Tristan.”  Kumatok ang sa pinto niya. Hindi ito sumagot. Lalo kong nilakasan ang pagkatakot hanggang sa kalampagin ko na ito.

He opened the door. Salubong ang mga noo nitong humarap sa akin.  “Gabing-gabi na nag-iingay ka pa! Hindi lang tayo ang tao dito, Andi. May mga kapit-bahay tayo.”

 

“Sorry na.”  Lumabi ako.

BAM! Binagsak nito ang pinto sa mukha ko. Ang lakas ng topak ng lalaking yun. Siya na nga ang may kasalanan sa akin siya pa ang galit.

“Bakit ka ba nagagalit? Bati na tayo, please!”  Sigaw ko sa labas ng pinto niya. 

“Shut up! Pagod ako, Andi. Huwag ka nga mangulo.”  Narinig kong sabi niya mula sa loob ng kwarto niya.

“Hindi ka pa kumakain.”  Sabi ko.

“Huwag mo kong pakialaman.”  Sabi nito.

“Tristan naman!”  Kumatok ulit ako sa pinto niya.

“Leave… me … alone… Ugh!”  He sounded like his in pain.

“Tristan, anong nangyayari sa’yo?”  Nag-aalalang sabi ko.

“Pakiusap iwanan mo muna akoooo!”  Sigaw nito.

Tristan’s POV

 

Napasandal ako sa likod ng pinto pagsara ko. I could feel the temperature rising in me. Fuck! Hindi mawala sa isip ko ang boobs niya. Pull yourself together, Tristan! Boobs lang yun, naka-bra pa siya nagkakaganyan ka na. 

This is wrong. So fucking wrong! Hindi si Andi ang tipo kong babae. Noooo! Napahawak ako sa ibabang bahagi ng katawan ko ng maramdaman kong tumigas ang isang parte sa ibabang bahagi ng katawan ko. This is unbelievable! I’m actually getting a boner from seeing Andi’s bra.

Napamura ako sa sarili ko. Maling-mali talaga ito. 

‘Kumalma ka.’  Sabi ko sa isip ko habang nakatingin ako sa babang bahagi ng katawan ko. Pero lalo itong nagalit. Argh! I’m giving in to my urge to touch myself. Parang may sariling isip ang aking kamay at naglakbay iyon papunta sa butones ng jeans ko. I took my hard shaft out. Kapag hindi ko ito ginawa magdamag na sasakit ang puson ko.

“Tristan.”  Tawag sa akin ni Andi at kumatok ito sa pinto.

Mariin akong napapikit. Gusto kong buksan ang pinto at hilahin siya papasok. And fuck her. Lalong nagalit ang alaga ko sa mga pinag-iisip ko. Patuloy ito sa pagkatok ng pinto.

Binuksan ko ang pinto at sinungaw ang ulo ko dun. Ang kalahati naman ng katawan ko ay nakatago sa likod ng pinto. I’m hiding my erection. 

“Gabing-gabi na nag-iingay ka pa! Hindi lang tayo ang tao dito, Andi. May mga kapit-bahay tayo.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Sorry na.”  Nagpapaawang sabi niya. That innocent face. Lalo akong tinitigasan. Nagwawala na ang alaga ko. I quickly shut the door. Tinuloy ko na ang ginagawa ko. Hinagod ko ng palad ko ang aking pankalalaki habang iniisip si Andi. Tutol ang isang parte ng isip ko pero iba ang sinasabi ng katawan ko.

Nagsisigaw siya sa labas ng pinto ko habang may ginagawa na akong kababalaghan sa loob ng kwarto ko. Tumigil na rin ito makaraan ang ilang sandali. Geez! Thank God. Nagpatuloy ako sa ginagawa ko habang iniisip ko siya at ang kanyang malaking boobs. Yes, it is big for her slim body. Sumagi sa isip ko noong nakita ko siyang nakahubad at nakahiga sa sahig. Hindi pa rin nawawala sa isip ko ang pakiramdam ng hubad niyang likod habang minamasahe ko iyon. Lalo kong binilisan ang paggalaw ng kamay ko.

“Ahh… Andi…”  I groaned. Narating ko na ang sukdulan at napatingala ako sa kisame. Incredible wave of guilt flood over me. Ano’ng klase akong tao? I lusted over an innocent girl. I feel like I’m the worst person in the whole world. 

Andi’s POV

“Good morning, Tristan.”  Bati ko sa kanya paggising ko. Hindi niya ako pinansin. Galit pa rin siya sa akin hanggang ngayon. 

“Humaharap ka sakin na ganyan ang itsura mo?”  Nakabusangot na sabi ko.

“What’s wrong with how I look?”  Tanong ko. Eh araw-araw naman akong humaharap sa kanya na bagong gising with messy hair.

“Ang nipis-nipis at ang ikli ng damit mo.”  Sabi nito.

Napayuko ako at tumingin sa suot ko. I’m wearing a white dress na pantulog. I’ve worn it alot of times tapos ngayon lang siya nagrereklamo.

“Lalaki pa rin ako, Andi. Hindi ka dapat humaharap sa akin ng nakaganyan.”  Sabi niya. Why is he acting so strange? Wala naman siyang problema dati pag humaharap akong nakaganito sa kanya.

“I’m sorry.”  Sabi ko na lang. I don’t even know what I’m sorry for. I just don’t want to argue with him anymore. Galit na nga siya sa akin, lalo ko pa siyang gagalitin.

Nagsimula na siyang magluto ng breakfast. While he was cooking breakfast hindi ako nakatiis. He is ignoring me and I can’t stand it. Lumapit ako sa kanya and gave him a big hug from behind.  “Tristan, sorry na. Bati na tayo.”

 

Parang napasong lumayo siya sa akin.  “God, Andi! Don’t do that!”

 

I bit my lower lips. I feel like I’m on the verge of tears. He hates me.  “Sinusubukan ko lang naman makipag-ayos sa’yo. Ayokong nagagalit ka sa akin.”

 

Napabuntong-hininga ito.  “Ands, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.”

 

“Huh? I don’t understand.”

 

“I shouldn’t have done what I did last night. I’m sorry.”  Sabi niya.

I smiled.  “Apology accepted.”

 

“Ipangako mo sa akin na hindi ka na sasama sa kung sinu-sino.”  He said.

I raised my right hand.  “Promise.”

Chapter Eight

“Mukhang pagod na pagod ka.”  Sabi ko ka Tristan pagpasok niya pa lang sa apartment. Dumiretso agad siya sa couch at pasalampak na umupo. My heart is

“Ang layo ng nilakad namin. Umakyat pa kasi kami sa bundok para mag-photo shoot.”  Sabi niya.  “Pero ayos lang. Malaki naman ang kinita ko.”

I sat down beside him. 

“Put your feet on my lap.”  Sabi ko.

Kumunot ang noo niya.  “Bakit?”

“Foot massage.”  I answered. Nagkibit-balikat siya at ipinatong ang paa niya sa lap ko. Kawawa naman kasi siya, he’s been working all day. The least I could do is give him a foot massage. Hinubad ko ang sock na suot niya. Then I started massaging his left foot.

“Oh God, you’re so good, Ands. Saan ka natuto niyan?”  Tanong niya.

“Si daddy kasi palagi siyang nagpapa-massage sa akin when he comes home from work.”  Nakangiting sabi ko. Biglang nawala ang ngiti ko ng maalala ko si daddy at si mommy. I really miss them. Siguro they’re worried about me. Minsan nga, I cry myself to sleep.

“What’s wrong?”  Tanong ni Tristan.

Pinilit kong ngumiti.  “Nothing. May naalala lang ako.”

“Miss mo na ang pamilya mo, ano?”  Sabi niya.

“Yeah… Pero I’m still mad at them.”  Sabi ko.

“Huwag ka na malungkot. May binili nga pala ako para sa’yo.” He reached for his bag na nasa tabi niya. May kinuha siya doon na square thingy.   “Hindi ba sabi mo mahilig ka sa libro? Napadaan ako kanina sa bookstore kaya binili na kita.”

I got very excited. Agad kong kinuha ang librong iyon. I really miss reading books. Binasa ko ang title ‘Sense and Sensebility by Jane Austen’.  

“Oh Tristan! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”  I jumped on him and hug him. He lost his balance at napahiga siya sa couch at napahiga din ako sa ibabaw niya. Hindi agad ako nakagalaw sa sobrang shock. Nagkatitigan kami. Parang natutunaw ako sa kanyang mga titig. Umangat ang ulo niya. Oh my god! Ito na ba yun? Is he going to kiss me katulad ng mga nababasa ko sa romance novels? Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko.

“Andi, get off me.”  Narinig kong sabi niya. Napadilat ako. He quickly looked away from me. Parang bang ayaw niya akong tignan. Tumayo agad ako.

“I- I’m sorry.” Nahihiyang sabi ko. Pinulot ko ang librong nahulog sa sahig at niyakap iyon. Nahihiya ako and at the same time naiinis ako na hindi niya ako hinalikan. I wonder how his lips would feel like and how it would taste like. Sana siya na lang ang first kiss ko hindi yung pervert na Jason na yun. 

He cleared his throat.  “Gutom na ako.”

“Kanina pa ready ang pagkain.”  Sabi ko. I can feel the awkward tension in the air.

“Ano ang ulam?”  Tanong niya.

“Corned beef.”  Sagot ko.

“De lata na naman. Bumili ka na lang ng totoong ulam sa labas para makakain na tayo.”  Sabi niya.

“O-okay.”  Sabi ko. Pero hindi pa rin ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko. Parang naka-glue ang mga paa ko doon. Gusto ko na sabihin sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko. That I really like him. 

“I… I like you, Tristan.”  Mahinang sabi ko.

He just stared at me. Wala ni konting bakas ng emosyon sa mukha niya. Tinitigan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa. Bakit pa kasi pinagtapat ko sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko. Ngayon ako nahihiya sa sinabi ko. Sana lamunin na lang ako ng lupa!

May ngiting sumilay sa labi nito. Lumaki ang ngiti nito hanggang sa humalagapak siya sa tawa. Nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi ko. Ahhh! Nakakahiya talaga! I want to cry!

“Thank you for the good laugh.”  Natatawa pa rin na sabi nito.  “But you’re not my type, Andi.”

 

Kinuha nito ang magazine na may litrato ng mga babaeng halos kita na ang kaluluwa.  “Ganito ang mga type kong babae.”

 

What was I thinking? Alam ko naman hindi ako magugustuhan ni Tristan. I’m a nerd. He’s a hotty. Ang tanga tanga ko talaga!

“Aalis na ako.”  I tried to sound casual.

“Andi…”  He called.

“What?”  Pagalit na sabi ko.

“Are you good in bed?”  Tanong niya na may pilyong ngiti sa labi.  “Pwede na kitang pagtyagaan kung magaling ka sa kama.”

 

“Yes, I am.”  Taas noo kong sabi. Lies! I’m a virgin. Gusto ko lang itayo ang naapakan kong pride.  “I may not look hot but I’m a goddess in bed. Baka nga mas experienced pa ako sa’yo. Hmp!”

 

Nawala ang ngiti nito sa labi.  “Prove it!”

 

Lumapit ako sa kanya. Tinitigan niya lang ako, hinihintay ang susunod na gagawin ko. What am I going to do? I don’t even know how to kiss!

“So?”  Tumaas ang isang kilay nito.

I remember the sex scenes sa mga romance novels na binabasa ko. Itinaas ko ang shirt niya. I touched his chest. Oh my god, first time ko nakahawak ng dibdib ng lalaki. Bumaba ang ulo ko para  bigyan ng malilit na halik ang dibdib niya. He sighed heavily. It’s working. He’s getting turned on!

“Well, I think I’ve already proven enough to you.”  I said with a proud smile on my face. Kinindatan ko siya bago ako tumalikod sa kanya.

Did I just do that? I felt proud of myself pero nahihiya din ako. Paano ko siya haharapin pagbalik ko. That was really stupid. Gusto ko iumpog ang ulo ko sa pader. But God, nahalikan ko yung chest niya. Pero ang sakit ng mga sinabi niya. Parang ang pangit pangit ko naman. Sabagay, hindi naman talaga ako maganda. Hindi naman ako sexy katulad ng mga babaeng gusto niya. He will never like me.

Tristan’s POV

Shit! Tumatayo na naman ang… napatingin ako sa panalon ko. It’s growing bigger. Nararamdaman kong naninikip ang jeans ko. Damn that woman! Inaasar ko lang naman siya. Hindi ko akalain na gagawin niya yun! Ang sakit sa puson.

Breathe in… breathe out… I tried thinking of something else. Binuksan ko ang tv para libangin ang sarili ko. Nanood na lang ako ng news. Hindi nagtagal nawala na ang paninikip sa pantalon ko. Nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag.

Bumalik sa isip ko ang sinabi niya kanina. She likes me… Nahuli ko ang sarili kong nakangiti habang iniisip ko iyon. Why am I smiling like an idiot? Hindi lang naman siya ang babaeng may gusto sa akin. Alot of women likes me. At mas magaganda pa sa kanya. Maganda din naman si Andi kahit manang manamit at madalas nakasalamin at nakapusod ang buhok but I just can’t see myself banging her, she looks too pure and innocent. 

Pero hindi pala siya ganun kainosente. I wonder how good she is in bed. Hindi ko akalain na meron na pala siyang experience sa sex. Ano kaya ang itsura niya kapag nag-oorgasm siya? Is she a moaner? Anong favorite sex position niya? Teka, ano ba itong mga naiisip ko. 

Biglang bumukas ang pinto. Bumalik na si Andi na may dalang naka-plastic na sinigang na baboy. Sabay kaming kumain pero hindi man lang niya ako kinibo. 

“Ako na ang maghuhugas ng mga plato.”  Presenta ko.

“Ako na.”  Walang emosyong sabi niya.

“Ako na nga.”  Kinuha ko sa kamay ko sa kanya ang plato.

“Eh di ikaw na.”  Pagalit na binitawan niya ang plato at dumiretso siya sa kwarto niya. Unang beses na nagkaganito si Andi. Hindi ako sanay na galit siya sa akin. Mali naman kasi yung sinabi ko kanina. I didn’t mean it. I was just teasing her.

Andi’s POV

Pagkasara pa lang ng pinto bumaksak ang mga luha ko. He’s the first guy that I really like. Pinagtawanan niya ako and he even insulted me. Sumubsob ako sa kama and cried. I’m so embarassed and  hurt. Kanina while we were eating, pinipigilan ko ang umiyak. I can’t even look at him.

Tinakpan ko ng unan ang sarili ko to muffle my cry. I heard a knock on my door. Hindi ko pinansin iyon. I know it’s Tristan. Ang tagal niyang kumatok sa pinto pero hindi ko pa rin siya pinansin.

“Andi, papasok ako ah.”  Sabi niya. Nagtalukbong agad ako because I don’t want him to see me crying. I heard the doorknob turn. Bumukas ang pinto at narinig ko ang footstep niya.

“Ands, tulog ka na ba?”  He asked. Hindi ako sumagot. Then I heard him sigh. Pagkatapos ay narinig kong bumukas ulit ang pinto at sumara. Thank God, umalis na siya. Tinanggal ko ang blanket na nakatalukbong sa akin.

“I knew it! Hindi ka pa tulog.”  Nakangising sabi ni Tristan. He was standing sa may pinto. 

“What are you doing here ba?”  Inis na sabi ko. 

Sumeryoso ang mukha niya. Lumapit siya sa akin at umupo sa gilid ng kama ko.  “Andi, umiiyak ka ba?”

“N-no…”  Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. He probably noticed na namumula ang mga mata ko.  “Hindi mo ba alam yung word na privacy. I know this is your apartment but kwarto ko pa rin ito.”

“Andi, sorry na. Alam mo naman na inaasar lang kita kanina, di ba?”  Sabi niya. Tumalikod ako sa kanya at nagtalukbong ulit ng blanket.

“Hindi mo talaga ako kakausapin?”  He said. Hindi pa rin ako nagsalita. Bigla niyang hinatak ang kumot ko. Then he tickled me sa sides ko.  “Ayaw mo talaga akong kausapin ah.”

“Tristan!”  Tili ko. Tumatawa siya habang kinikiliti niya ako. I atarted squirming and laughing histerically.  “N-no… Stop. I can’t breath!”

“Ano? Hindi mo pa rin ako papansinin?”  Sabi niya while tickling me. I can’t breathe because I can’t catch my breath, I can’t stop laughing.

“P-please… Stop…!”  I said through fits of laughter. This is torture! He finally stopped and we found ourselves looking at each other’s eyes. He slowly leaned down and kiss me. Nagulat ako nung una. Pero ng makabawi ako I started moving my lips, ginagaya ko ang paggalaw ng labi niya. I felt sparks everywhere and tingles running through my body. The feeling of his lips upon mine was pure heaven. Parang yung mga nababasa ko sa libro. His tongue swipe across my bottom lips and slipped it in my mouth. I can’t help but moan. Huminto ang labi niya sa paggalaw. Why did he stopped? 

“Shit! Hindi dapat nangyari to!”  May pagsisisi sa boses niya. Nahilamos niya ang mga palad sa mukha niya. Tumayo siya sa at walang lingon-lingon na lumabas sa kwarto. He didn’t even say goodbye, he didn’t even look at me.

I felt this painful pinch in my heart. Naramdaman ko na naman tumulo ang luha ko. He regrets kissing me because I’m not attractive enough for him. Kasi hindi ko kasing ganda at kasing sexy yung mga babaeng nasa magazines.

Chapter Nine

Nakaharap ako sa salamin at tinititigan ang sarili ko. Pangit ba talaga ako? Maybe kapag tinanggal ko itong makapal na glasses ko I would look better. I removed my glasses. My nerdy glasses. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was a kid. I can see pa rin naman without my glasses pero it’s a bit blurry pag sa malayo. Nasanay na akong nakasuot palagi sa akin iyon and I just feel uncomfortable kapag di ko siya suot. And my hair… my mom hates my hair. I always wear my hair up in a bun kasi mas comfortable din ako ng ganito. Tinanggal ko ang tali sa buhok ko at hinayaan bumagsak ang buhok ko. Kinuha ko ang playboy magazine ni Tristan na nakapatong sa couch. Tinitigan ko ang mga babae na nasa picture. I wish I was as pretty as these girls para magustuhan din ako ni Tristan. Pero hindi mangyayari yun. 

Lumabas na lang ako ng apartment at naglakad-lakad para malibang. Kaninang umaga hindi niya ako kinakausap and obvious naman na iniiwasan niya ako. Parang diring-diri siya sa nangyari last night. 

“Hi, Andi.”  Kumaway si Sasha sa akin kasama niya ang gay friend niya na si Jodie. Napilitan akong ngumiti sa kanya. Hindi naman kami masyadong close pero we greet each other. Matagal akong tumitig sa kanya. She wears nice clothes, yung mga sexy na damit. And marunong siyang mag-ayos ng sarili niya. Maganda pa siya. Ganyan babae siguro ang magugustuhan ni Tristan. Why can’t I be like her? Wait… pwede naman siguro.  

“Sasha!”  Tawag ko sa kanya. Lumingon siya sa akin. 

“You’re so pretty.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Narinig mo yon, bakla? Ang ganda ko daw!”  Pabirong hinampas ni Sasha ang kaibigan niya sa braso.

Tumaas ang kilay ni Jodie.  “Nang-uuto lang yan, naniwala ka naman. Neng, ano bang kailangan mo?”

“I want to be like you, Sasha. Please, help me.”  I beg.

“Sabi na eh! May kailangan lang yan.”  Sabi ni Jodie.

“Paano ba ako makakatulong sa’yo.”  Tanong ni Sasha.

“Ayusan mo ako. I want to be pretty like you.”  I said.

“Ay gusto ko yan! Dyan ako magaling.”  Sasha proudly said. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at hinatak ako. Dinala niya ako sa loob ng apartment niya.

“Pagpasensyahan mo na ang gulo dito.”  Sabi niya.

“It’s ok.”  I smiled at her.

“Upo ka dito.”  Pinaupo niya ako sa sofa niya. Umupo sa tabi ko si Jodie. Sasha went inside her room. Pagkalabas niya ng room may dala na siyang mga damit. 

“For sure, bagay na bagay sa’yo itong mga damit na ito.”  Sabi ni Sasha. Binigay niya sa akin ang damit.  “Sa’yo na yan. Napagliitan ko na yan, mapayat ka naman kaya kakasya sa’yo yan. Suotin mo na.”

Napatingin ako kay Jodie.  “Right now? In front of him?”

“Ano’ng him? Her ako! Babae din ako no!”  Nakasimangot na sabi ni Jodie.

Natawa si Sasha.  “Halika sa kwarto.”

We went to her room and she made me wear yung mga damit na binigay niya sa akin. 

“Maganda itong bra na ito. Push up yan, iniipit niya yung boobs mo para magmukhang malaki. Nabili ko pa sa ito sa Japan. Sayang nga kasi hindi ko na nagamit, di na nagkasya sa akin dahil nagpa-breast implant ako.”  Sabi niya. 

I took my clothes off and wore the push up bra she gave me. Then I put on the really short shorts and halter top. My god! Kahit may damit ako I feel like I’m naked. Ang ikli ng shorts ko at kita ang cleavage ko. I can’t go out looking like this. Pero ito ang gusto ni Tristan… Siguro naman kaya ko naman.

Lumabas kami sa room niya.

“Wow! Ang sexy mo pala.”  Sabi ni Jodie ng makita ako. I want to cover my body. Kahit naman gay siya, he’s still a man. Nakakahiya. Gusto kong tumakbo pabalik sa kwarto.  “Pwede siyang magtrabaho sa club mo, Sasha.”

“Yan nga din iniisip ko. Mabenta ang beauty niya. Mukhang fresh na fresh.”  Sabi ni Sasha.  “Gusto mo ba magtrabaho sa amin, Andi?”

“Ano’ng trabaho?”  I asked. 

“Kakausapin mo lang yung mga customers. Sasamahan mo lang uminom. Easy money, di ba?”  Sagot ni Sasha.

“I’ll think about it.”  Sabi ko. That sounds like an easy job. The problem is I’m socially awkward. Hindi ko kayang mag-entertain ng mga taong hindi ko naman kilala. 

“Ok, basta sabihin mo lang sa akin kapag gusto mo magtrabaho.”  Sabi niya. I just nodded my head.

“Memeyk-up an na kita saka ayusan kita ng buhok para bumagay naman sa suot mo.”  Sabi ni Jodie.

“Sino ba ang pinagpapagandahan mo? Huwag mong sabihin nagpapa-cute ka kay Tristan, my love ko?”  Sasha said while Jodie is doing my make up.

“No!”  Agad na sagot ko. Well, yes, it’s true. I’m doing all this for Tristan.  “I just… I want to look good.”

Pagkatapos nila akong ayusin, I thanked them. Nagmamadali akong umalis because I’m so excited na makita ako ni Tristan. Kanina habang nakaharap ako sa mirror hindi ko na nakilala ang sarili ko. It’s like I’m a different person. Sigurado nakauwi na si Tristan ngayon. I want him to see me.

Binuksan ko ang pinto ng apartment niya. There were four other guys in his apartment and all of them are staring at me. Parang gusto kong itago ang katawan ko. I looked at Tristan and he frowned at me.

“Wow! Hindi mo sinabi na may chicks ka pala dito.”  I heard someone say. This is so nakakahiya na talaga. Hindi ko naman alam na his friends are coming over. Tinitigan ni Tristan ng masama ang kaibigan niya.

“Andi?”  Napatingin ako sa lalaking nagsalita. Oh my god! My cousin, Phoenix… I’m so dead! Malalaman na nila mommy na nandito ako.

“P-phoenix… hi…”  Sabi ko.

Lumapit sa akin si Tristan at hinatak niya ako sa braso papunta sa kwarto niya. Then he closed the door. He looked at me from head to toe.

“What are you doing to yourself? You look like a…”  Hindi niya tinuloy iyon.

“Like a what?”  I asked.

“You look like a hooker!”  Sabi nito. Akala ko ba ito ang gusto niya? Now, he’s saying na I look like a hooker! I want to punch him on the face.

“Burahin mo nga yang make-up mo at magsuot ka ng disenteng damit!”  He said.

“No.”  Pagmamatigas ko.  “I’ll wear whatever I want to wear!”

Tumalikod ako sa kanya and I marched out of his room. Tinawag niya ako pero hindi ko siya pinansin. That idiot! How dare he? I did all this for him tapos sasabihan niya lang na mukha akong whore! Nandun pa rin ang mga friends niya paglabas ko sa kwarto. Umiinom sila. And my cousin, Phoenix. I need to talk to him. Lumapit ako sa kanya.

“Can we talk?”  I asked.

“Yeah, sure.”  He said apathetically.

Lumabas ako ng apartment at sumunod siya sa akin.

“Please, don’t tell mom and dad na nandito ako.”  I begged him.

“Why would I tell them? Wala naman akong pakialam sa inyo.”  Sabi niya.

 Ngumiti ako. Wala naman pala akong problem kay Phoenix.   “Thank you, cuz.”

“I’m just curious. Are you Tristan’s girlfriend? Nagtanan ba kayong dalawa?”  Tanong niya.

“No! We met sa party mo at sumama ako sa kanya. I don’t want to go back sa amin kasi ipapakasal nila ako sa manyak na Jason na iyon. So, please don’t tell them where I am.”  Sabi ko.

 He laughed.  “Uso pa ba arranged marriage ngayon?”

“My thoughts exactly.”  I rolled my eyes.

“Pwede ko naman ipahiram sa’yo yung condo unit ko. Hindi ko na gagamitin yun dahil nakabili na ako ng bahay.”  He said.

“No, thanks. Kasi, uhm… baka mas madali ako mahanap nila kapag sa condo mo ako tumira.”  Dahilan ko. Pero the truth is ayokong malayo kay Tristan kahit pa he’s the biggest douchebag ever! At kahit mahirap ang buhay dito, I’m more happy here. 

 He shrugged his shoulders.  “Ok, your call.”

“One more thing. Don’t tell him na we’re my cousins.”  Baka ibigay niya na ako kay Phoenix kapag nalaman niyang he’s my cousin. 

“Sure.”  He said. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. 

“Thank you, cuz.”  Nakangiting sabi ko.

Pagkatapos namin mag-usap bumalik na ulit kami sa loob ng apartment.

“Saan kayo galing?”  Tanong ni Tristan. He was staring at me like I did something wrong.

“Nag-usap lang kami.”  Sagot ko.

“Tungkol saan?” 

“It’s really none of your business.”  Inirapan ko siya. I’m still annoyed with him. Pagkatapos ko mag-effort na magpaganda para sa kanya sasabihin niya lang mukha akong whore!

“Dude, you sound like a jealous boyfriend. Akala ko ba wala kayong relasyon?”  His friend said. Tumawa ang mga kaibigan niya at hindi siya sumagot.

“Ako nga pala si Seth.”  Sabi naman ng isa pa niyang friend.  “Ito naman si Wayne at Axel.”  Pakilala niya sa dalawa pang guy na katabi niya. The guys waved when their name was said. They’re all good-looking. Para mga Greek Gods. 

“H-hi.”  I shyly waved back at them.

“Here, have a drink.”  Inabutan niya ako ng isang baso ng alcohol.

“Don’t give her a drink. Hindi siya pwedeng uminom.”  Pigil ni Tristan. Then he looked at me.  “Andi, pumasok ka na sa kwarto mo.”

“Ang KJ mo naman, dude. Let her decide for herself.” Natatawang sabi ni Phoenix.

Kinuha ko ang baso and I dranked it. Yuck! It taste awful… Parang gustong bumalik ng ininom ko palabas sa bibig ko. I forced myself na ubusin ang alak sa baso. 

Tristan’s POV

Nakatingin lang ako kay Andi. Nakaupo siya sa couch sa pagitan ni Phoenix at Wayne. Tawa ito ng tawa habang nakikipagkwentuhan sa kanila. Napailing ako, nakaka-tatlong shot pa lang siya ng vodka lasing na agad siya. I want to grab her and take her to her room. Naaalibadbaran ako sa suot niyang damit at sa ayos niya ngayon. Gusto kong takpan ang katawan niya. She’s showing off alot of skin. Hindi naman ako conservative pero ayoko talagang nakikita siyang ganon, lalo na sa harap ng ibang lalaki. 

“Cheers para sa birthday boy.”  Itinaas ni Seth ang baso niya.

“Cheers!”  Lahat din sila ay nagtaasan ng baso.

“Wait, wait… s-sino may birthday?”  Tumatawang sabi ni Andi. 

“Hindi mo alam? Malapit na magbirthday si Tristan. Napaaga lang ang pag-celebrate namin.”  Sagot ni Wayne.

“Ikaw, di ka nagsasabi birthday mo pala! Ilang taon ka na ba sa birthday mo?”  Tanong niya.

“Twenty-seven.”  Sagot ko.

Bigla siyang humalagapak ng tawa.  “Matanda ka na pala, you dirty old man.”

Tumawa rin ang mga gago at inasar pa ako. Tuwang-tuwa sila kay Andi dahil sa kakulitan niya. Makalipas ang ilang oras nagpaalam na sila. 

“Bye, Phoenix!”  Yumakap si Andi sa kanya. Nagtagis ang bagang ko. Gusto kong hatakin palayo sa kanya si Andi. Sigurado akong magkakilala na sila bago pa man sila magkita ngayon. Pero ano ba si Phoenix sa buhay niya? Was he her ex-boyfriend?

Kumaway si Andi sa kanila bago niya isinara ang pinto. Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kanya.

“Did you have fun?”  Sarkastikong tanong ko. I crossed my arms.

“Yes, I did.”  Nakangiting sagot niya. Namumungay na ang mga mata niya. That made her more alluring.

“Halata naman. Sa sobrang enjoy mo nilandi mo na ang kaibigan ko.”  Sabi ko.

Nawala ang ngiti niya sa labi.  “Nilandi?”

“Bakit hindi ba? Dikit ka ng dikit sa kanya. Ano mo ba siya ha? Ex mo ba si Phoenix?”  Hindi ko na napigilan ang magtanong.

“Why do you care? Nagseselos ka?” 

  Tinaas niya ang isang kilay niya. Hindi ako nakasagot. Tinanong ko rin ang sarili ko. Nagseselos nga ba ako? 

Bigla siyang tumawa.  “Oo nga pala, why would you be jealous. Wala ka naman gusto sa akin, di ba? Because I’m not good enough for you. I’m ugly…” Napalitan ang tawa niya ng iyak.  “I… dressed up for you, nag-make-up ako kahit ang kati kati nito sa mukha! I thought you would like me pero sabi mo I look like a hooker! You’re… you’re such an asshole.”

“Andi…”  Lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap siya.

“G-get away from me! I hate you.”  Pilit niya akong itinulak pero lalo ko siyang niyakap. Hinaplos-haplos ko ang likod niya habang umiiyak siya.

“Halika,… lasing ka na.”  Bulong ko sa kanya.

“I’m not drunk, you idiot.” Humihikbing sabi niya. Binuhat ko siya at napatili siya.  “Put me down!”

Hindi ko siya pinansin at ipinasok ko siya sa kwarto niya. Pagkatapos ay hiniga ko siya sa kama. Tatayo pa sana siya ng pigilan ko siya.

“Sleep.”  Sabi ko.

“Stay with me.” Hinatak ako ni Andi at napahiga ako sa tabi niya. Sumiksik siya sa akin at tuluyan ng nakatulog. Nakaharap siya sa akin at pinagmasdan ko ang maamo niyang mukha. Hinawi ko ang ilang hibla ng buhok na nakatakip sa mukha niya. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. Nagkakagusto na rin ba ako sa kanya o gusto ko lang siyang protektahan? Naramdaman kong bumibigat na ang talukap ng mga mata ko at pumikit na ako.

Chapter Ten

My head hurts. I felt like the pain was pounding through my skull. And I don’t want to get out of bed. Hindi ko nga mabuksan yung mata ko. I just want to sleep all day. Pero bigla kong naramdaman ang mabigat na bagay na nakapatong sa tiyan ko. Gumalaw ito and it pulled me napasubsob ako sa matigas at mainit na bagay. I slowly opened my eyes. Nakasubsob ako sa chest ng lalaki. Napaangat ako ng tingin and I saw Tristan’s face. He looks so handsome kahit natutulog siya. I can’t stop staring at him. Oh my god! I can’t believe this. Magkatabi kaming natulog. Dahan-dahan akong napaupo because I don’t want to wake him up naman. Pero impossible yatang magising siya. He is sleeping like a rock. 

Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko. I ran my fingers through his hair. It’s so soft. Mukhang sobrang himbing naman ng tulog niya kaya sasamantalahin ko na ito. I stared at his full lips. I want to kiss it so badly. Andi, wala ka na ba talagang self-respect. Pero hindi naman niya yun malalaman because he’s asleep. Isang kiss lang naman. Just one. I bent my head down and kiss him. His lips are so soft and warm. I felt it moved against mine. Nagulat ako kaya agad akong napalayo. Nakadilat na ang mga mata niya ng tignan ko siya.

“Pinagsasamantalahan mo na ako habang natutulog ako.” May halong pang-aasar sa boses niya. I felt my cheeks get hot in embarrasment. 

“S-sorry.” Nahihiyang sabi ko. I feel like burying my face on my pillow. 

He just gave me a smile.  “Ang dami mong nainom kagabi. Sumasakit ba ang ulo mo?”

Iniba niya ang usapan. Siguro, to make things less awkward.

“A… a little.”  I answered.

“Sabi ko naman kasi sa’yo huwag kang iinom masyado dahil hindi ka pa sanay. Buti na lang hindi ka ulit nagsuka.”  I could hint a bit of concern in his voice. Pero baka imagination ko lang yun.

Napansin ko ang mga mata niyang bumaba sa dibdib ko. I realized na nakalabas pala ang cleavage ko sa suot kong top. Tinakpan ko iyon ng mga kamay ko. Parang napahiya naman na umiwas siya ng tingin.

He cleared his throat.  “Uh… sige, lalabas na ako. Maligo ka na din para mabawasan naman ang sakit ng ulo mo.”

“O-okay.”  Sagot ko.

Tumayo na siya sa kama at lumabas sa kwarto ko. I tried to remember what happened last night. May mga natatandaan pa naman ako but some are blurred. Natatandaan kong uminom ako because Tristan doesn’t want me to drink. Gusto kong magrebelde sa kanya dahil sa pag-reject niya sa akin. I was really hurt! Nag-effort ako ayusan ang sarili ko para sa kanya pero hindi pa rin nag work.

Bumangon na din ako sa kama at kahit nahihiya akong makaharap ulit si Tristan lumabas na ako ng kwarto. I’m hungry and my head hurts. Naghanap ako ng food sa fridge. Kaka-palengke lang ni Tristan kaya maraming pagkain. I don’t know what he wants for breakfast. Tanong ko na lang kaya sa kanya. 

“Tristan…” Tawag ko sa kanya sa labas ng kwarto niya. But he didn’t answer. So lumapit na lang ako sa pinto niya. I turned the knob and quietly opened the door.

He is sitting on his bed. Nakasandal siya sa headboard ng kama and his… his male part. Oh my god! Hawak hawak niya ang male part niya and he’s moving his hand up and down. My eyes grew big as I watch him. Hindi ako nakagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko. I feel like my feet are glued to the ground and I can’t stop watching . Nakapikit siya and he is biting his bottom lip. It’s so sexy. Napababa ulit ako ng tingin sa private part niya. It’s big. Ganyan pala ang hitsura ng thing ng mga lalaki. But why is he touching it?

“Andi!” Nagulat ako ng tawagin niya ako. Bigla niyang tinakpan iyon ng unan. Napatingin ako sa kanya and his face is so red.  “A-ano’ng ginagawa mo dito?”

“I-I-I’m sorry… T-tatanungin lang sana kita kung…”  I can’t think straight. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say and I don’t know why I’m here. My mind went completely blank.

“Get out, Andi!”  Sigaw niya.

“S-sorry talaga, Tristan.”  Nahihiyang sabi ko.

“Just leave!”  Sabi niya at mabilis kong sinara ang pinto. What did I just see? I hope hindi galit sa akin si Tristan.

I tried to forget what I saw pero habang nagluluto ako ng hotdog, it reminded me of his male part.

I heard his door open pero hindi ako tumingin. This is going to be so awkward.

“Andi…”  Tinawag niya ako pero I pretended like I didn’t hear him. Baka pagalitan na naman niya ako. I’m so stupid talaga. I should’ve knocked first bago ko binuksan yung pinto niya. Kasisimula lang ng araw puro embarrasment na ang nangyayari sa akin.

“Andi, look at me.”  Alam kong nasa likod ko na siya. Ibinaba ko ang spatula na hawak ko. I bit my lower lip. Get ready, Andi. I know sesermonan niya na ako. Humarap ako sa kanya.

“I’m sorry.”  Halos magkasabay na sabi namin.

“I’m so stupid. I should’ve knocked-” 

“Shh… you’re not stupid. Wala kang kasalanan. Ako nga dapat ang humingi ng tawad dahil nakita mo pa yun…”  Nahihiyang nagbaba siya ng tingin.  “It’s just that it has been so long since the last time I had sex.”

“Let’s just forget about that.”  Sabi ko.

He smiled and nodded his head.

Tristan’s POV

 

Siguro sexual frustration lang ito kaya mabilis akong ma-turn on. Nakita ko lang cleavage niya at nadampian lang ako ng halik sa labi kanina bigla na lang tumigas ang alaga ko. Ilang months na ba since noong huli akong nakipag-sex. Mahigit isang buwan na. Simula nang dumating si Andi sa buhay ko, hindi na ako masyadong naglalalabas. Hindi na ako nakikipag-date sa ibang babae. Pagkagaling ko sa trabaho diretso na ako sa bahay dahil natatakot akong baka pag-uwi ko nasunog na ni Andi ang buong building ng apartment. Saka naaaliw din ako sa kanya. Hindi ko na kailangan pumunta sa mga bar para maglibang. She’s unintentionally funny, nakakatawa minsan ang pagiging naive niya. 

Katatapos lang namin kumain at pinanonood ko siya habang naghuhugas ng pinagkainan namin. Mabilis siyang natuto magluto at ng iba pang gawaing bahay. Hindi naman siya mahirap turuan, noong una oo pero ngayon kahit hindi ko na siya bantayan ok lang. Siya na halos gumagawa ng trabaho dito sa bahay. I think she needs a break. Wala naman akong pasok ngayon kaya gusto ko siyang ayain mamasyal. 

“Andi, alis tayo.”  Sabi ko.

Tumigil siya sa paghuhugas ng plato.  “Saan naman tayo pupunta?” 

“Kahit saan.”  Sagot ko. Hindi ko rin kasi alam kung saan kami pupunta basta gusto ko lang siya makasama.

Her face lit up. “Sige, I’ll just finish doing the dishes.” 

I decided to take Andi to the beach. Madalas ako pumupunta dito pagmalungkot ako, pagkailangan ko makapag-isip o pag gusto ko lang mapag-isa. Itong lugar na ito ay ang aking munting paraiso. Kami lang dalawa ni Andi ang nasa beach. Medyo tago kasi ang lugar na iyon kaya bihira lang mapuntahan ng ibang mga tao. 

Nakaupo ako sa buhangin habang si Andi naman ay nasa may tubig. May mga pinupulot ito sa tubig pero hindi ko alam kung ano yun. Maya-maya ay patakbo siyang lumapit sa akin.

“Tignan mo ito, Tristan! Ang dami kong magagandang shells na napulot.” Tuwang-tuwang sabi ni Andi at ipinakita pa niya sa akin iyon. Pagkatapos ay umupo siya sa tabi ko. Andi has the innocence of a child. Marunong siyang magpahalaga ng maliliit na bagay. Mababa ang kaligayahan niya. Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to her. Kasi wala akong naging childhood. Maaga akong namulat sa kahirapan. Bata pa lang ako, ako na ang bumubuhay sa sarili ko. Habang ang ibang bata ay naglalaro, ako naman namamalimos ng konting barya para may makain lang o di kaya nagkakalkal ng kung anu-ano sa basurahan para maghanap ng pwedeng ibenta sa mga junk shop, nang magbinata naman ako nagsimula akong mamasukan bilang isang stripper sa club hanggang sa naging call boy na ako. Dahil doon naging malaki ang galit ko sa mundo. Parang nakikita ko kay Andi ang lahat ng wala ako. Hindi ko naranasan ang maging inosente kahit kailan. I love Andi’s innocence. That’s why I’m so protective of her. I don’t want the world to make her bitter.

“Thanks for taking me here. This place is so beautiful.”  Sabi niya sa akin.  “Kailan ang birthday mo? Hindi ba sabi ng mga kaibigan mo birthday malapit na daw ang birthday mo?”

I shrugged my shoulder.  “Hindi ko alam.”

“Hindi mo alam?” 

“Hindi ko alam kung kailan. Gawa-gawa lang yung birthday ko para may maisulat sa birth certificate ko.”  I chuckled.

“Then paano ka nagcecelebrate ng birthday mo?”  Tanong niya.

“I don’t.” Sagot ko.

“Today could be your birthday.”  Sabi niya.

Nagkibit-balikat lang ako.  “Hindi ko alam at wala akong pakialam.” 

Bigla itong napatayo sa kinauupuan at tumakbo palayo.

“Andi, saan ka pupunta?”  Sigaw ko sa kanya.

“Sandali lang.”  Sabi niya habang patuloy sa pagtakbo hanggang mawala na siya sa paningin ko. Ano na naman bang kalokohan ang gagawin ng babaeng yun.

Maya-maya ay bumalik siya na may dala-dalang cupcake na nakabalot pa. Yung binibili sa tindahan. Tumabi ulit siya sa akin at binuksan iyon. Naglabas siya ng maliit na kandila at itinusok yun sa cupcake at sinindihan ang kandila gamit ang posporo.

“Ano yan?”  Tanong ko.

“Your birthday cupcake. Binili ko sa tindahan.”  Nakangiting sabi niya at nagsimula siyang kumanta ng ‘happy birthday to  you’.

“Mag-wish ka tapos i-blow mo na yung candle.”  Sabi niya ng matapos siya kumanta.

“Ayoko nga.”  Sabi ko. This is stupid.

“Sige na, please.”  She pouted.

Pinagbigyan ko na siya para manahimik lang siya. Hinipan ko ang kandila. Ito ang unang beses na naghipan ako ng kandila sa ‘birthday’ ko. At ang cupcake na iyon ang una kong ‘birthday cake’. Napangiti ako sa simpleng bagay na ginawa niyang iyon.

“Hati tayo dito ah.”  Sabi ni Andi bago hinati ang cupcake at binigay sa akin ang kalahati ng cake.

“Mmm… mocha.”  Sabi niya habang nginunguya ang cupcake.  “What did you wish for?”

“Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sa’yo baka hindi magkatotoo.”  Sabi ko. Gusto kong hilingin na sana makasama pa kita ng matagal, sana habang buhay na. Nasanay na akong nandyan ka, ayoko na mabuhay ng mag-isa. Pero magiging madamot ako kung iyon ang hihilingin ko kaya hindi na lang ako nag-wish. Hindi kita kayang bigyan ng magandang buhay. Balang araw, magsasawa ka din at babalik ka na sa palasyo mo.

“Tristan, ano yung ginagawa mo kanina sa kwarto mo? Why are you touching your private part?”  Muntik na akong mabilaukan sa kinakain kong cupcake sa tanong niya.

“Akala ko ba kalilimutan na natin iyon?”  Nararamdaman kong namumula na ang pisngi ko. 

“I just want to know. Kasi parang nasasaktan ka habang ginagawa mo yun.”  Sabi niya. Is she for real? Akala ko ba may experience na siya sa sex. Why is she asking all this dumb questions? Her ex-boyfriend must have been a really bad lover. Siguro ang alam lang nun gawin ipasok ang ano niya kay Andi. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng inis ng maisip ko iyon. I bet she never had an orgasm.

“No, it doesn’t hurt. In fact it feels good. Hindi ba ipinapaliwanag sa’yo ng dating sex partner mo?” Tanong ko.

“Actually, I… lied. I’m still a virgin. Nasabi ko lang yun kasi I know you don’t like inexperienced girls. You like girls that are good in bed.”  Sabi niya.

Hindi agad ako nakapagsalita. She’s trying to be something she’s not just to please me. I’m such a dumb ass. Kung anu-ano kasing sinasabi ko kay Andi. I don’t want her to change, she’s perfect the way she is. I love her black thick-rimmed glasses, I love her quirky personality, I love how she dresses, how she does her hair, her smile, her laugh… I love everything about her.

“Tristan…”  Tawag niya sa akin.

“Bakit?”

“Hindi mo ba talaga ako magugustuhan?”  Tanong niya. 

Ngumiti ako at parang batang ginulo ko buhok niya.  “Alam mo yung nararamdaman mo infatuation lang yan. Mawawala din yan.” 

“Hindi ang nararamdaman ko ang pinag-uusapan natin. Ikaw, ano bang nararamdaman mo sa akin?”  She asked.

“You’re an amazing girl, Andi. Makakahanap ka din ng lalaking babagay sa’yo.”  Sabi ko. She deserves someone better than me. Hindi ang katulad ko ang nararapat sa kanya. 

Pinilit niyang ngumiti pero malungkot ang mga mata niya. I’m sorry, Andi. I’m doing this for your own good. I’m protecting you from myself.

Naging tahimik na siya pagkatapos nang pag-uusap naming iyon. Pinanood namin lumubog ang araw at inaya ko na siya umuwi. Naglalakad na kami papunta kung saan nakaparada ang motorsiklo ko. Biglang may lumapit sa amin na batang lalaki.

“Kuya pogi, bilhin niyo na po itong bulaklak para makauwi na ko sa amin. Bigay mo po sa magandang girlfriend mo.”  Sabi ng bata. May hawak itong mga rosas.

“Magkano ba ang isa?”  Tanong ko.

“Sampung piso lang isa.”  Sagot naman niya.

“Ilan ba yan lahat?” 

“Walo na lang ito, kuya pogi.” 

“Bibilhin ko na lahat yan.”  Sabay dukot ng pera sa bulsa ko. Binigay ko na sa kanya ang buong isang daan.  “Sa’yo na ang sukli.”

“Salamat po!”  Nagliwanag ang mukha ng bata sa saya. 

“Sige na. Umuwi ka na at baka abutan ka pa ng dilim.”  Sabi ko sa bata. Nagpasalamat pa ulit ito bago umalis.

Nakangiti si Andi ng lumingon ako sa kanya.  “That was really nice of you.”

Hindi ko alam pero bigla akong nahiya sa sinabi niya. 

“Baka kasi mapaano pa yun kapag inabot ng dilim.” Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. Inabot ko ang mga rosas.  “O, sa’yo na yan.” 

Kinuha niya naman ito.  “Thank you. You’re the first guy na nagbigay sa akin ng roses.” 

Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya. Nababaduyan ako sa sarili ko. Giving flowers to a girl is just too sappy. 

“Halika na, uwi na tayo.”  Aya ko. Sumakay ako sa motorsiklo at umangkas naman siya sa likod ko.

Chapter Eleven

I really want to throw a surprise party for Tristan. It made me sad when he told me that he never had a birthday party. Gusto ko ma-experience niyang magbirthday. Pero how can I throw him a party when I don’t even have any money? I want to buy him a birthday cake tapos may mga food. I’m going to invite our neighbors and his friends. I can call Phoenix, nag-iwan siya ng number niya sa akin. 

Then naisip ko yung offer ni Sasha na magwork sa club niya. That’s it! I’m going to work to earn money para sa party ni Tristan! Agad akong nagpunta sa apartment ni Sasha. 

“Hi, Andi.”  Sumilip siya sa pinto.

I smiled.  “Hi. Can we talk?”

“Oo naman. Pasok ka.”  She opened the door wider. I went inside and she made me sit sa sofa. “Ano’ng gusto mong pag-usapan natin? May chichika ka ba sa akin?”

“Err.. no. I want to know if I can work sa club mo?”  I asked.

“Gusto mo magtrabaho sa club?” 

I nodded my head.

“Ay, day! Sigurado akong malaki ang kikitain mo. Palong-palo ang beauty mo! Virginal.”  Sabi niya.

“When can I start? Kasi I really need money na eh.” 

“Pwede ka na magsimula mamayang gabi. Aayusan na lang kita.”  Sabi ni Sasha.

“Like, what time? Hindi ba pwedeng tomorrow morning na lang kasi kung mamaya dadating na si Tristan and I have to go to bed na pagkatapos namin magdinner.” 

“Gaga! Walang club na nagbubukas sa umaga, ’no! Talagang gabi nagbubukas ang club ko hanggang madaling araw.”  She said laughing.

Hindi ako papayagan ni Tristan. Ayaw niyang lumalabas ako ng apartment sa gabi. Paano ako magtatrabaho sa club ni Sasha? 

“Ano gusto mo pa ba?”  Tanong niya.

“Kasi si Tristan eh. He’ll get mad at me paglumabas ako mamayang gabi.” 

“Eh di tumakas ka. Lumabas ka na lang pagtulog na siya.”  Sabi ni Sasha.

Yeah… Why didn’t I think of that? I’ll just sneak out kapag tulog na siya. Saka kapag naka-earn na ako ng enough money para sa party niya I’ll stop na naman. 

“S-sige. I’ll start mamayang gabi.”  But why do I feel like it’s a bad idea. Nagpaalam na ako kay Sasha. Mamayang aroung 11pm I’ll sneak out and go to Sasha’s. I’m doing this for him naman saka hindi naman niya malalaman. I’ll be home bago siya magising.

I went back sa apartment ni Tristan and continued reading the book he bought for me. Pagkatapos nagluto na ako ng dinner namin kasi paparating na siya. Yes, I know how to cook na. I know my mom and dad would be so proud. Marunong na din ako magwalis saka maghugas ng mga plato at maglinis ng bahay. The only thing na hindi pinagagawa sa akin ni Tristan is yung paglalaba. He washes our clothes with his hands. Wala kasi siyang washing machine. I tried doing it pero nagkasugat ako sa kamay and since then hindi niya na ako pinaglalaba. 

Narinig ko na bumukas ang pinto. I’m always excited to see him. Para akong puppy na naghihintay sa master niya. 

“Hi, Tristan. How was your day?”  Sinalubong ko siya.

“Ok lang.”  Sagot niya. 

“Good! Luto na ang dinner natin.”

“Ano ang ulam?”  Tanong ni Tristan. 

“Tocino with tomato and itlog na maalat.”  Sabi ko. Yun kasi yung request niya kanina.

  “Wow! Tamang-tama gutom na ko.” He went straight sa dining table. My poor Tristan, pagod na pagod na siguro siya from work tapos gutom pa siya. Nanggaling pa daw kasi siya sa Tagaytay para sa wedding photoshoot. Kinuha ko siya ng plate at pinagsandukan ng kanin. Sabay kaming kumain. 

Katulad ng ibang ordinary days, pagkatapos namin kumain naghugas ako ng mga pinagkainan namin, we talked for a bit, nanood ng tv. Then he went sa room niya at ako rin sa room ko. Pinag-iisipan ko pa din about sa pagpasok sa club ni Sasha. Ok I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to do it na. Hindi naman mahirap ang job ko. Sabi ni Sasha kakausapin ko lang ang mga customers sa club niya and that’s it. 

Nang sure na akong tulog na si Tristan dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang room ko at lumabas. I tried to make as little sound as possible. I know he is going to get mad kapag nalaman niya ang gagawin ko. He doesn’t even want me na lumapit kay Sasha since nalaman niyang si Sasha yung nagpahiram ng damit sa akin at nag-ayos. Sabi niya hindi daw mabuting influence siya sa akin, I think she’s nice naman. 

Nawala na ang kaba ko ng makalabas ako ng apartment. I’m finally out! Magkaka-birthday party na si Tristan! Yay!

Tristan’s POV

Nasa tabi ako ng bintana at humihithit ng sigarilyo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nangyayari sa akin ito. Hindi mawala sa isip ko si Andi kahit kaninang nasa trabaho ako. Siya lang ang naiisip ko. I think I like her. Kahit kailan hindi ako nagkaganito sa isang babae, sa kanya lang. Pero hindi maaari ito, hindi dapat!

Oo gusto niya din ako pero hindi ko siya pwedeng magustuhan. Hindi ako karapat-dapat sa kanya. Sana magising na si Andi at bumalik na kung saan man siya nanggaling para hindi na din ako nahihirapan. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na abot kamay mo na ang isang bagay na gusto mo pero hindi pwedeng mapasayo, ayun ang nararamdaman ko araw-araw na magkasama kami.

Natigilan ako sa pag-iisip ng marinig kong bumukas ang pinto sa tabing kwarto ko, gising pa pala si Andi. Maya-maya narinig kong nagbukas naman ang pinto ng apartment. Napakunot ang noo ko, bakit naman lalabas ng ganitong oras si Andi? Nampucha! Baka may magnanakaw na nakapasok dito. Pinatay ko sa ashtray na nakapatong sa may bintana ang sigarilyo ko. Maingat na lumabas ako sa kwarto. Una kong naisip ay si Andi di baleng kuhanin niya na lahat ng gamit dito huwag na huwag niya lang mahawakan si Andi. Binuksan ko ang pinto sa kwarto niya at walang tao sa loob nun. Ibig sabihin siya nga ang lumabas?

Lumabas na din ako ng apartment ko. Hinanap ko siya sa buong floor pero hindi ko siya nakita. Damn! Baka nagkatotoo na nga kanina yung iniisip kong sana magising na siya at bumalik na sa kanila. Siguro sawa na siya sa buhay dito. Parang bumigat ang dibdib ko. Wala na si Andi. Naalala kong maraming tarantado sa labasan. Baka mabastos si Andi o di kaya ma-hold up, ang daming pumapasok sa isip ko. Dali-dali akong bumaba.

Marami pa rin nakatambay sa labas ng ganitong oras. May mga nag-iinuman pa at nagsusugal.

“Gardo, nakita niyo ba si Andi?”  Tanong ko sa mga nag-iinuman. Kilala na nila si Andi dahil madalas nilang nakikita siyang kasama ko.

“Oo, dumaan kanina dito kasama ni Sasha. Ang sexy nga niya ngayon. Ipinasok mo na ba sa club, pare?”  Tanong nito sa akin. Si Andi sumama kay Sasha?

“Aba, kung doon na magtatrabaho si Andi araw-araw na akong pupunta sa club.”  Sabi ng kainuman niya. 

“Napagsawaan mo na ba? Sana sa amin mo muna pinasa, magbabayad ako kahit magkano.”  Singit ng isa pa. Napakuyom ang mga palad ko. Putanginang ito! Hinablot ko ang suot niyang tshirt at napatayo siya sa kanyang kinauupuan.

“Gago ka! Huwag mong mabastos-bastos si Andi! Babasagin ko yang mukha mo!”  Banta ko sa kanya.

Tumayo din si Gardo at inawat ako. 

“Pare, pagpasensyahan mo na yan. Lasing na yan.”  Sabi niya. Agad akong bumitaw sa pagkakahawak sa tshirt niya. Lakad-takbo ang ginawa ko papunta sa club ni Sasha. Hindi naman kalayuan iyon mula dito. Malilintikan talaga sa akin ang babaeng iyon.

Andi’s POV

The dress I’m wearing is so uncomfortably tight at sobrang ikli pa. Pagtinaas ko feeling ko makikita na ang panties ko kapag naman binaba ko parang lalabas na ang boobs ko. 

“Do I really have to wear this?” Tanong ko kay Sasha.

“Aba syempre! Ganyan ang suot ng lahat ng nagtatrabaho sa club ko.”  Sabi sa akin ni Sasha. Habang naglalakad kami, may mga lalaking tumitingin sa amin and some pa nga nagwiwhistle. I don’t know what I’m getting myself into.

“Sexy mo, Sasha.”  Sabi ng mga guys na nakatambay sa labas. I think they are teenagers.

Sasha just smiled.  “Thanks, boys.”

“Pakilala mo naman kami sa kaibigan mo.”  Sabi ng isang guy.

Nagtago ako sa likod ni Sasha. I’m really embarrased right now, they were all looking at me.

“Hindi pwede, ’no! Mahal ito!”  She answered at naglakad na ulit kami hanggang makarating kami sa club niya. Medyo madilim sa loob nun, malakas ang tugtog ng music at maraming mga lalaki na nag-iinuman. Napakapit ako kay Sasha. Parang gusto ko na umuwi.

“Mr. Magno!” Sasha waved at someone. Hindi ko makita kung sino iyon because it’s really dark in here. May lumapit sa amin na lalaki. I think he is in his 40s, he’s fat and medyo bald na siya. 

“Sasha, kanina pa kita hinihintay.”  Sabi nito.

“Sorry, Mr. Magno. Inayusan ko pa kasi itong bago kong alaga.”  Sabi ni Sasha and she  looked at me.

“She’s really pretty.”  Sabi naman ng lalaki while looking at me. I stared at the ground kasi he’s stares are really creeping me out. I feel like hinuhubaran niya ako sa tingin niya.

“Bago pa lang ito, Mr. Magno kaya may kamahalan.”  Sasha said. 

“Name your price.”  Sabi ng old man. Pakiramdam ko para akong binebentang meat sa wet market. Gosh! This is so humiliating. I want to back out.

“Twenty.”  Sabi ni Sasha.

Naglabas agad ng pera ang guy at ibinigay kay Sasha. Then Sasha pushed me to him, napaatras ako.

“Dear, huwag ka na umarte. Madatong yan. Mag-uusap lang naman kayo hindi ko hahayaan ilabas ka niya.” Pasimpleng bulong niya sa akin. Inilapit niya ako sa lalaki. The guy smiled at me.

“Halika, magkuwentuhan tayo.”  Aya niya sa akin. Napilitan akong sumama sa kanya. Binigyan kami ng table ni Sasha at umupo ako beside him.

“Ano’ng pangalan mo, hija?”  He asked.

“A-andi.”  Sagot ko.

“Andi.”  Ulit niya.  “Ilang taon ka na?”

“Nineteen.” Nakayuko lang ako because I don’t want to look at him. He creeps me out.

“Nag-aaral ka pa ba?” 

I nodded my head. 

Umakbay siya sa akin. Parang kinilabutan ako. I moved my shoulder para ipaalam sa kanya na I’m not comfortable na yung kamay niya nasa shoulder ko pero hindi niya pa rin tinanggal iyon.

“Alam mo pwede kitang tulungan makapagtapos ng pag-aaral.”  Pinisil niya ang arm ko.

“N-no, thanks.”  Sabi ko.

“Ayaw mong pag-aralin kita?

“

I shook my head. I want to get out of here. I’m really scared. I felt his other hand crawl sa hita ko. I feel like crying. Hinimas-himas niya ang lap ko. Sana dumating si Tristan dito and save me. Pero he’s probably sound asleep right now. I should’ve listened to him! I’m so stupid talaga.

“Eh, ano’ng gusto mo? Ibibigay ko sa’yo kahit ano’ng hilingin mo.”  I can feel his breath sa neck ko.

Bigla kong naramdaman na may humawak sa braso ko and pulled me away from that man. Thank God! Napatingin ako kung sino iyon…

“T-tristan!”  Nagulat ako ng makita ko siya. He looked really angry. Parang nag-aapoy ang mga mata niya. Para siyang papatay ng tao. Pabalang na binitawan niya ako at sinugod niya ang lalaking kasama ko kanina.

Pinagsusuntok niya ang lalaki. The guy tried to fight him off but Tristan was too strong. Inawat na siya ng ibang mga tao pero hindi pa rin siya nagpaawat. He continued throwing punches kahit ilang tao na ang umaawat. I was shocked kaya it took me awhile bago ako nakagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko. 

Napayakap ako kay Tristan and I tried to pull him away. Nakahiga na ang lalaki sa sahig.

“Stop, Tristan! Please, stop! You might kill him.”  I shouted.

“Talagang papatayin ko yang putanginang yan!”  Sigaw niya.  

“No… no, please don’t.” And my tears fell. Agad naman na napatigil si Tristan. Hinatak niya ako palabas doon hanggang sa apartment. Binitawan niya ako at napasubsob ako sa sofa. Ang sakit ng left arm ko kung saan niya ako hinatak.

“Ano ha? Gusto mo na ngayon magputa?”  Galit na tanong niya. 

I can’t open my mouth sa takot sa kanya. 

Sumigaw siya at napasuntok sa wall. Humarap ulit siya sa akin.  “Alam mo ba kung ano’ng gustong gawin sa’yo ng lalaking iyon? Gusto ka niya ikama! Naiintindihan mo ba iyon, Andi? Ibebenta mo ang katawan mo para sa konting halaga ha?”

Hindi pa din ako makasagot. Nakayuko lang ako and I’m trying not to cry.

“Where did he touch you?”  Pumunta siya sa harap ko. 

I was really surprised when he grabbed my boob. “Hinawakan ka ba niya dito?”

Napasinghap ako. I wasn’t scared or anything like that, just surprised. Kahit na I’m wearing a bra I could feel the warmth of his palm. He touched and squeezed it pero sandali lang iyon. Huminto siya but I didn’t want him to stop. It feels good when he touched me.

He knelt in front of me and open my legs. Yung isa niyang kamay gumapang sa inner thigh ko. Umakyat ang kamay niya hanggang sa underwear ko. He finger brushed over my panties. Nakikiliti ako sa ginagawa niya. 

“Dito ba hinawakan ka niya?”  Tanong niya. Umiling ako. 

He is moving his finger up and down and it feels great. I can’t explain what I’m feeling. Basta masarap. I opened my legs wider for him.

“Shit! Ano ba itong ginagawa ko?”  Binawi niya ang kamay niya. Noooo! He can’t stop! Kinuha ko ulit iyon at idinikit sa akin.

“Please, Tristan, don’t stop.”  I begged. He didn’t move his hand katulad kanina. Tinitigan niya lang ako na parang nagulat at napalunok siya. So I moved his hand katulad ng paggalaw niya kanina. Up and down my lady part. I know this is bad. Pero it feels really good. HE CAN’T STOP NOW!

Kusa na gumalaw ang kamay niya maya-maya. Ang sarap kapag natatamaan ang upper part ng womanhood ko ng finger niya. 

“You’re so wet, Andi.”  He said while looking at my lady part. Napababa ako ng tingin. It is wet! My panties are wet! 

Yung thumb niya nagcircle sa taas ng lady part ko. This feels even better. I can’t believe it’s possible to feel something na ganito kasarap. Ito yata yung mga nababasa ko sa romance novels na nababasa ko. 

“Ooohhh… Aaahh…”  Sounds escape from my lips. I can’t stop myself.

He rubbed me hanggang sa may maramdaman akong something. I don’t know how to explain it. Basta I feel like I’m going to explode. 

“Tristaaaan… I’m going to…”  I said panting. Hindi ako makaisip ng word for it. Napapikit ako. I released whatever it is. Naramdaman kong may lumabas sa akin. My body starts shaking. It’s so good. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt pero parang nanghihina ako.

Chapter Twelve

Ito na ang lost chapter. Salamat kay @Kashimz sa pagsend sa akin ng screenshots <3

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Tristan’s POV

I was kneeling between Andi’s legs. Tumingala ako sa kanya at sandali kong pinagmasdan ang mukha niya. Nakapikit ang mga mata niya at kagat-kagat ang pang-ibabang labi. She was shaking from the orgasm she just had. Putangina! Ano ba itong ginagawa ko?! Hindi dapat nangyari ito. Hindi ko dapat siya pinakialaman.

Dinilat niya ang mga mata niya at tumingin sa akin.  “Tristan…” 

Damn! The way she said my name made my manhood flinch.  Pero hindi talaga. Hindi talaga dapat mangyari ito. Libog lang ’to. Ayokong dumating ang araw na pagsisihan niya ito.There are other guys who are better than me, someone that really deserved her. All of her. Hindi ako ang lalaking iyon.  Kahit na tutol ang ulo ko sa baba pilit akong tumayo. I could just finish by myself. Hindi ko gagamitin si Andi para lang magpakawala ng init sa katawan.

“T-tristan! Where are you going?”  Narinig kong sabi ni Andi ng tumalikod ako. Hindi ko siya pinansin at nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad. I knew if I looked at her, hindi ko na mapipigilan ang sarili ko. Nakakailang hakbang palang ako ng bigla niya akong hinawakan sa kamay para pigilan ako. Anak ng tokwa naman! She’s making this harder for me!

“Tristan, please… I want you to be my first everything. Take my virginity.”  She said in a small voice. Napahugot ako ng malalim na hininga. T angina! Bakit ba ginagawa mo sa akin ito, Andi?! Bakit mo ako pinahihirapan?

Pull yourself together, man. 

Humarap ako sa kanya at pilit umarte ng normal.  “You’re just a little girl. Hindi mo alam ang pinagsasabi mo, Andi.”

“Of course, I know what I’m talking about! Stop treating me like a little kid dahil hindi na ako bata!”  Tumaas ang boses niya at napahikbi siya. Nangingilid na ang mga luha niya magkabilang mata. I felt bad but what I was doing is for her own good. 

Bigla niyang ibinaba ang tube dress niya at hinayaang bumagsak sa sahig. Tanging ang kakarampot na telang tumatakip sa maseselang parte ng katawan niya ang natira. Napaawang ang mga labi ko sa gulat. She was beautiful. I fought the urge to touch her, the wonderful curves of her body.

“See! Mukha pa rin ba ako little girl sa’yo. I’m a full grown woman!”  She said. Hindi ko inaasahan ang sunod niyang ginawa. Kinabig niya ang ulo ko at hinalikan ako. Damn! Hindi ako santo, lalaki lang ako. I found myself responding to her kiss. Nang matikman ko ang mga labi niya, hindi ko na naisip kung ano ang mali at tama. All I knew was I wanted her. I nibbled on her bottom and she opened her mouth for me, my tongue went in and explored in it. Para akong nalalasing sa lasa ng mga labi niya. Alam kong hindi ko na kayang pigilan ang sarili ko. Kahit nga siguro lumindol ngayon hindi ko magagawang bitawan si Andi.

Naglakbay ang mga kamay ko sa kurba ng katawan niya. Her skin was so smooth, just like how I imagine it would be like. I carressed the sides of her body at tumigil ang mga kamay ko sa ibabaw ng dibdib niya. I gently squeezed her breast before pulling down the cup of her bra. It felt so unreal when I touched her bare breast, my fingers brushing against her nipple. It fitted perfectly in my hand. I caught her hard nipple with my fore finger and thumb and I gently pinched it, making her moan in my mouth.

Huminto ako sa paghalik sa kanya. Tinitigan niya ako ng may magkahalong pagtataka at kaba sa mukha. I wanted this to be special to her. I wouldn’t take her virginity on the couch in the living room. Kinuha ko ang kamay niya at dinala sa kwarto ko. 

“Ayokong pagsisihan mo ito, Andi. Sigurado ka bang ito ang gusto mong mangyari?”  Tanong ko ng nasa kama na kami. I could tell that she was nervous.  “Hindi ako magagalit kung uurong ka.”

“I know.”  Halos pabulong na sabi niya.  “I-I really want this.”

Maingat ko siyang inihiga sa kama. I stared at her face and she gave me a nervous smile. I kissed her on the forehead. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa katawan niya. My eyes went to her beautiful breasts and her pink nipples and moved lower to her stomach and down to that little cloth that was covering her most intimate part. 

I sat by her legs and I pulled her panties down. How I wanted to see that part of her, touch it, kiss it, worship it… Agad niyang tinakpan ng mga kamay niya ang pagkababae niya ng mahubad ko ang telang nakatakip doon. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa mukha niya na namumula sa hiya.

My shy virgin…

“Andi, can I?”

  My hand went over her hands that she was using to cover her pussy. Dahan-dahan niyang tinanggal ang mga kamay niya at nahihiyang nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin. 

“You’re beautiful.”  I said as I ran a finger over her slit. She was already hot and wet. Narinig ko ang impit na ungol mula sa kanya.  “You have nothing to be embarrased about.”

“Kasi naman eh. You’re making me feel more embarrased.”  Sabi niya.

I chuckled.  “But you really are beautiful.”

Dahan-dahan kong ibinuka ang mga hita nita. It looked so good and tight. I wanted to bury myself inside her and feel her wrapping around my shaft but that can wait. Right now, I wanted to focus on giving her pleasure first. Her pleasure over mine.

I positioned myself between her legs, my head between it. I started stroking her, massaging her wet fold.

“Mmm… Tristan…”  Parang musika sa tainga ko ang marinig na inuungol ni Andi ang pangalan ko. I lowered my head to her.

“Wait, what are you doing?”  She said, almost mortified, when she looked down at me.  “No, no the- Oh…”  She moaned as I slid my tongue down her slit, tasting her. It was like tasting a piece of heaven, nothing could compare to the way she tasted. I licked her between her folds, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer to my face. I swirled the tip of my tongue around her sensitive nub before sucking on it. She let out a scream of pleasure.

“Oh God, Tristan!”  I slipped a finger inside her. She was so wet but still too damn tight.

“Ah…. ow!”   She mumbled. I pushed my finger in slowly until it was all the way in. I didn’t move it for awhile because I wanted her to get used to it. She was just so tight. One wrong move and I knew I would hurt her. 

Then i slowly pulled it out of her.  “Masakit pa ba?”  Tanong ko.

Umiling siya. I carefully pushed my finger in and out of her. Slowly at first when I felt that she was getting used to it my finger went faster. Nang maramdaman kong malapit na siya, I pulled my finger out. I wanted her to come around me, not my finger.

I knelt between her legs and pulled my pants and underwear down. My manhood was throbbing with excitement. Tumingin ako kay Andi, her face was priceless. She was looking at my shaft with eyes wide in shock.

“It’s huge!”  She exclaimed.  “Are you going to put it inside my…”  Bumaba ang tingin niya sa pagitan ng mga hita niya. I nodded my head.  “Like your finger?”  May halong pagkamangha at pag-aalalang tanong niya.

Tumango ulit ako. It took all I had in me not to laugh.

“But it’s huge! Kasya ba yan sa… sa ano ko?”  Sabi niya.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang matawa na lalo niyang ikinapula. Bumaba ang ulo ko sa mukha niya at hinaplos ko ang pisngi niya.  “Don’t worry, it’ll fit. Gusto mo bang subukan natin?” 

Matagal siyang hindi kumibo.

“Gusto mo pa bang ituloy ito?”  I asked. She was very nervous. Hindi ko siya pipilitin kung ayaw niya. Kung hindi pa siya handa. 

“Yes.”  She answered, finally. 

I positioned myself between her legs again, pushing my  shaft in her hole as I  lowered my head to her breast and I started sucking on it.

“Ouch! Tristan, masakit…”  Sabi niya. Bumaba ang isa kong kamay sa pagkababae niya. I started massaging her nub to help ease the pain and relax her a bit.

“It really hurts…

“  She sobbed. I looked up at her and there were tears running down her eyes. Umiiyak siya! And damn, it wasn’t even half of it… it was only the head! I quickly pulled out of her and rubbed myself against her slit. A loud groan escaped my lips. I was so near. I rubbed against her faster. I was going to come. I needed to come. I released myself and came all over her pussy, her sweet slit covered with my semen. Kinuha ko ang kumot na nasa tabi at iyon ang pinamunas ko sa kanya. Matagal kaming hindi kumibo pareho. Kinuha ko ang isang pakete ng sigarilyong nakalagay sa bedside table at kumuha ng isang stick. I lit it up and took a breath in. 

“Tristan, I’m sorry.”  Umupo si Andi mula sa pagkakahiga. 

Hindi ako kumibo.

“Are you mad at me?”  Tanong niya. 

Binuga ko ang usok mula sa sigarilyo bago humarap sa kanya. Yes. I was mad. I wasn’t mad because she wasn’t ready! Galit ako dahil sumama siya kay Sasha at nagpa-table siya sa matandang iyon. Who knew what could’ve happened kung hindi ko siya pinuntahan? Siguro hinahawak-hawakan na siya at hinahalik-halikan ng matandang iyon katulad ng ginawa ko sa kanya. Just the thought of that alone made me sick.

“Bakit mo kailangan pumasok sa club na iyon?”  Galit na tanong ko.

“I want to throw a suprise party for you and Sasha offered me a job. I-I didn’t know na ganun palang trabaho dun.” 

I let out a frustrated sigh. She did that for me? Hindi ko alam kung ano itong nararamdaman ko. This feeling was just so alien to me. Pero mali pa rin ang ginawa niya!

“That was so stupid, Andi. Huwag na huwag ka na ulit sasama kay Sasha. Hindi ko kailangan ng birthday party. I don’t have a fucking birthday.”  I said. 

“I’m sorry na.”  Malambing na sabi niya bago yumakap sa akin.  “From now on, promise, hindi na kita susuwayin.” 

Tinanggal ko ang mga kamay niya na nakapulupot sa katawan ko. I could hear breast againt my body and it was making me hard again. 

“I’m sorry din sa nangyari ngayon. It was so painful… I thought I was going to die.”  She said with guilt on her voice. She looked so cute right now and it was hard for me not to smile.  “Promise, next time hindi na ako mag-iinarte. It would be better next time, right?”

“There won’t be any next time, Andi.”  I said in a cold voice. This wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have even gone this far with her. I felt like I had tainted her.   “Hindi na natin ito gagawin ulit.”

“N-no, promise sa susunod titiisin ko na yung sakit. I’ll do whatever you want me to. I can be good. Turuan mo lang ako. Fast learner naman ako.”  She said, almost desperately. Her voice was quivering with tears.

“Mali ito. Hindi dapat nangyari ’to.”  I said shaking my head. I had so much respect for her to just let her be a fuck buddy. 

Pinahid niya ang mga luha na nagsimula ng tumulo sa mga mata niya.  “Why because I’m not your type? I’m never going to be good enough for you, am I?”

“Andi…”  That was all I could say. Hindi ko talaga alam ang sasabihin ko sa kanya ng mga panahong iyon. Tumayo siya sa kama at tumakbo palabas ng kwarto. Gusto ko siyang habulin pero naisip ko na mas maganda na rin ito.

Kung alam mo lang, Andi… You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve a girl like you.

Chapter Thirteen

Maaga akong nagising. Madalas si Andi ang unang nagigising para magluto ng almusal pero ngayon ako ang nauna. Paglabas ko sa kwarto ko napatingin ako sa pinto ng kwarto ni Andi. Sana hindi na masama ang loob niya sa akin.

Nagsimula akong magluto ng almusal. Bumukas ang pinto niya at napalingon ako. Nagtama ang tingin namin at matagal kaming nagtitigan bago siya nagbaba ng tingin.

“Gusto mo na kumain?”  Tanong ko.

Hindi siya sumagot, parang wala itong narinig. Kumuha siya ng kape sa cupboard.

“Nag-pakulo na ako ng tubig.”  Sabi ko. Hindi pa rin niya ako pinansin at kinuha niya ang kettle. Naglagay siya ng mainit na tubig sa tama niya at nagtimpla ng kape. Umupo siya sa mesa at ininom ang kape.

“Gutom ka na ba? Luto na ang pagkain.” Wala pa rin. Para akong nakikipag-usap sa hangin. Ni hindi nga ako tinapunan ng tingin.

“Hindi mo ba talaga ako kakausapin?” Napabuntong-hininga ako. She’s giving me the silent treatment and it’s killing me.  “Sige ka, mapapanis laway mo niyan.”  Biro ko pa. Pero hindi talaga epektibo.

 Kumuha ako ng plato at pinagsandukan ko siya ng pagkain at inilapag sa harap niya ang plato.  “Sige, kung ayaw mo ako kausapin, kumain na lang tayo.” 

Kahit nga ang pagkain na hinain ko sa kanya hindi niya pinansin. Kumain na lang ako dahil baka ma-late pa ako sa trabaho at mabilis na naligo. 

“Andi, alis na ko.”  Paalam ko sa kanya. Dati hinahatid niya pa ako sa pinto pero ngayon dedma. Nahihirapan ako sa ganito. Namimiss ko agad ang kakulitan niya. Namimiss ko yung babatiin niya ako ng good morning paglabas ko pa lang sa kwarto at kukuwentuhan niya ako kung ano ang napanaginipan niya habang kumakain kami tapos yung paulit-ulit niyang paalala na mag-ingat ako sa pagmomotor bago ako umalis sa bahay. Isang araw pa lang niya akong hindi pinapansin nahihirapan na ako.

Hindi ko naman sinasadyang saktan siya. Para rin naman sa kanya iyon. Siguro kapag nahanap niya na yung lalaking para sa kanya pasasalamatan niya pa ako balang-araw sa pagtanggi ko sa kanya. Parang hinihiwa ng blade ang dibdib ko ng maisip ko iyon. Paano nga kapag nakahanap na siya ng iba? Paano na ako?

Nakaalis na ang huling kliyente na nagpakuha ng litrato at pasara na ang photo studio. Nag-aayos na ako ng gamit at naghahanda na umuwi. Hindi pa rin maalis sa isip ko na nagtatampo sa akin si Andi.

“Sige, labs. Pauwi na ako. I love you.”  Narinig kong sabi ni Cholo, ang photo editor. Kausapin nito malamang ang girlfriend niya. Ibinaba niya na ang telepono pagkatapos.

“Cholo.”  Tawag ko sa kanya. Humarap siya sa akin.

“Oh, parekoy? Problema?”  Tanong nito.

“Paano ba manligaw?”  Ako. Kahit ako nagtataka kung bakit pumasok ang tanong na iyon sa isip ko.

Ngumisi si Cholo.  “Naks! Nagbibinata ka na.”

Napasimangot ako at medyo naasiwa.  “Kalimutan mo ang sinabi ko.”

Tatalikod na ako ng bigla niya akong akbayan.  “Unang-una, syempre kailangan mong bigyan yung nililigawan mo ng mga bulaklak at tsokolate. Tapos, ilalabas mo siya, ipapasyal mo kung saan-saan. Yan ang mga gusto ng babae.”

“May nililigawan ka na? Akala ko ba hindi uso sa’yo ang pakikipagrelasyon? Sino naman ang maswerteng babaeng nagpatibok ng puso mo?”  Naki-epal pa si Ted, siya ang may-ari ng photo studio na ito.

Tinanggal ko ang braso ni Cholo na nakaakbay sa akin.  “Wala. Nagtataka lang kasi ako kung paano napasagot ni Cholo ang girlfriend niya sa itsura niyang yan. Ngayon alam ko na, inuto-uto niya lang pala.”

“Ulol.”  Sabi ni Cholo at natawa naman si Ted.

“Sige, kita na lang tayo bukas. Una na ko”  Paalam ko sa kanila. Lumabas na ako ng photo studio at sumakay sa motorsiklo ko.

Habang nasa daan ako may nakita akong tindahan ng mga bulaklak. Parang gusto kong huminto doon. Titignan ko lang naman ang mga bulaklak, ang gaganda kasi. Inihinto ko ang sasakyan ko sa tapat nun at agad na may lumapit sa aking ale.

“Sir, bulaklak para sa girlfriend mo?”  Tanong nito.

Tumango ako. Akala ko ba titingin lang ako?

“Tingin lang po kayo. Puro magaganda ang mga bulaklak namin.”  Sabi nito. Napababa ako sa motorsiklo ko at tinignan ko ang mga nakahilerang bulaklak. May nakita akong isang dosenang pulang roses na nakalagay sa magandang pambalot. Magugustuhan kaya ni Andi yan?

“Magkano yan?”  Tanong ko at tinuro ko iyon. 

“Sir, eight hundred na lang.”  Sagot nito. Nagulat ako sa presyo. Tangina! Makakain ba yan?

“Ang mahal naman niyan.”  Reklamo ko.

“Eh, sir, tignan niyo naman. Mga sariwa yan at sigurado naman akong magugustuhan ito ng girlfriend mo.”  Sabi niya.

“Bawasan mo naman, manang. Limang daan na lang.”  Sabi ko.

Umiling ang babae.  “Hindi kaya. Bibigay ko sa’yo seven-fifty.”

“Five-fifty.”  Tawad ko.

“Sige na nga, seven hundred na lang.”  Napakamot na sa kanyang ulo ang ale.

“Six hundred na lang. Sige na, manang, bigay mo na.”  Sabi ko.

“Sige na nga. Para makauwi na ako.”  Sabi nito at ibinigay sa akin ang bulaklak. Binayaran ko na siya at sumakay na ako ng motorsiklo.

Ano ba itong kalokohang pinagagawa ko? Kahit naka-tawad ako, ang laking halaga pa rin ng anim na daan para lang sa labing-dalawang pirasong rosas na ibinalot sa magandang papel. Hibang ka na talaga, Tristan.

Malapit na ako sa bahay ng maalala ko ang tsokolate. Kailangan may tsokolate. Huminto ako sa isang tindahan. Siguro naman may tsokolate doon.

“Pagbilan.”  Kinatok ko ang tindahan dahil walang nagbabantay. May lumabas na dalagang babae.

“Ano po yun, kuya?”  Tanong nito.

“Meron kayong tsokolate?” 

“Meron po. Meron kaming cloud 9, goya, flat tops saka lala” Sagot nito. Pwede na siguro iyon. Sabi naman ni Cholo tsokolate lang, wala naman siyang sinabing brand. Bumili ako ng tig-isa ng mga yun. Ang gastos pala manligaw. Natigilan ako sa naisip ko. Sandali, manliligaw ako?! Liligawan ko si Andi?

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Ano pa nga ba? May bulaklak at tsokolate na. Aba! Ang laki na ng ginastos ko para magback out pa ako. Saka ayaw ko na magpaka-impokrito. Gusto ko si Andi. Oo, gusto ko siya. Kahit ano’ng tanggi ko sa sarili ko hindi ko na iyon mapapagkaila. 

Nagmamadali akong umuwi. Excited na akong ibigay kay Andi ang mga ito. Ipinarada ko ang motorsiklo at nagmamadaling umakyat sa apartment.

Papalapit pa lang ako sa pinto ng apartment ng bumukas ito. Lumabas ang isang lalaki.

“Thanks, Caloy.”  Nakangiting sabi ni Andi na sumunod na lumabas sa lalaki.

“Salamat din. Ang sarap talaga.”  Abot hanggang tenga ang ngiti ng loko. Ano ang masarap? Siguro… siguro may nangyari na sa kanila. Siguro nabitin si Andi kagabi at nagkataon nandoon si Caloy para kamutin ang kati niya. Nagdilim ang paningin ko. Sinugod ko siya at dumapo ang kamao ko sa mukha niya. Napasubsob ito sa sahig.

“T-tristan…”  Gulat na tinitigan ako ni Andi at nilapitan si Caloy.

Hinatak ko ang braso ni Andi.  “Lumayo ka sa kanya.”

“Ano ba?”  Binawi niya ang braso niya at tinitigan ako ng masama.  “What is wrong with you? Why did you punch him? Wala naman siyang ginagawa sa’yo!”

  “Pumasok ka sa loob!”  Sigaw ko kay Andi.

“Don’t tell me what to do!”  Sigaw niya din sa akin pagkatapos ay inalalayan niyang tumayo si Caloy.

Hinatak ko papasok si Andi sa loob ng apartment. “Ano’ng ginawa niyo dito habang wala ako?”

“What is happening to you? Kawawa naman si Caloy!” Matalim ang mga matang tinitigan niya ako.

“Ano’ng sinasabi ng ulol na yun na masarap? May nangyari ba sa inyo? Nabitin ka kagabi kaya humanap ka ng lalaki-” Hindi ko natuloy ang sasabihin ko ng biglang dumapo ang palad niya sa pisngi ko.

“H-how dare you say that? You think I would have… have… sex sa kung sinu-sinong lalaki?” Nagsimulang magtubig ang mga mata niya. 

“I only want to do it with you because I love you! What made you think I’d do it with someone else? Ganyan ba talaga ang tingin mo sa akin?” Napasubsob siya sa mga palad niya at umiyak.

Nilapitan ko siya at niyakap, hinaplos-haplos ko ang buhok niya.  “I’m sorry, Andi. Nadala ako ng galit… ng selos.”

Huminto siya sa pag-iyak at gulat na tumingin sa akin.  “What?”

“Oo, nagseselos na ako! Nagseselos ako kapag may kausap kang iba, nagseselos ako kapag may ibang taong nagpapatawa at nagpapangiti sa’yo, nagseselos ako pag may taong nagiging malapit sa’yo lalo na pag wala ako. Hindi ako dapat magselos pero nagseselos ako!”  Shit! Ang corny ko na! Ano ba itong lumalabas sa bibig ko.

“Tristan…”  Namilog ang mga mata niya. 

“Sorry na. Bati na tayo?”  Itinaas ko ang bouquet ng bulaklak na binili ko sa kanya.

“I-is that for me?” 

Tumango ako. Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga. Sasabihin ko na.  “I like you, Andi.”

“Oh my god!”  Napatili ito bago kinuha mula sa akin ang bulaklak. 

Muli siyang yumakap sa akin at hahalikan niya sana ako sa pisngi ng ilayo ko ang mukha ko.

“Oops! Wala munang kiss. Conservative ako!”  Biro ko.

Para naman napahiyang bumitaw siya sa akin.  “S-sorry.”

“Nagbibiro lang ako.”  Natatawang sabi ko. Ikinulong ko sa mga palad ko ang mukha niya at hinalikan ko siya sa noo.

“Teka, ano ba talaga ang ginawa ng mokong na iyon dito?”  Ang tinutukoy ko ay si Caloy. 

“Nawalan kasi ng tubig so I went sa baba para mag-igib. Siya yung tumulong sa akin na mag-carry ng bucket paakyat dito.”  Sagot nito.

“Eh ano yung sinasabi niyang masarap?”  Sumimangot ako.

“Binigyan ko siya ng sandwich na ginawa ko kanina and he thought it was masarap.”  Sabi niya at pinisil ang ilong ko.  “Ang dirty kasi ng mind mo. You should apologize to him.”

“I will. Kapag nakita ko siya.”  Sabi ko. I feel bad for the guy. Tumulong na nga, nasapak ko pa. Hinawi ko ang ilang hibla ng buhok na nasa mukha niya. Bumaba ang ulo ko para halikan siya sa labi. 

Kaya siguro hindi ko matanggap ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya noon dahil ayaw kong mahalin siya sa takot na baka balang-araw bigla na lang niya akong iwan. Natatakot ako dahil baka dumating ang panahon na bigla niyang ma realize na hindi pala ako sapat para sa kanya at magsawa na siya sa buhay na meron kami ngayon kasi wala naman akong kayang ibigay sa kanya. Pero kung hindi ko naman susubukan at patuloy ko siyang itutulak palayo baka mawala din siya sa akin at ang masaklap pa doon wala man lang akong nagawa.

Chapter Fourteen

Andi’s POV

Nanonood kami ni Tristan ng tv. His head is resting on my lap. I gently stroke his hair and looked at him. He’s been really sweet to me simula ng mag-confess siya ng feelings niya sa akin. Pero I’m not sure kung ano ba talaga kami. We kiss pero simple and short peck on the lips lang, it’s not a passionate kiss we shared noong night na may nangyari sa amin. Boyfriend ko na ba siya? I don’t really know how relationships work. I’ve never had a boyfriend before.

“Bakit?”  Tristan asked when he caught me looking at him.

“Nothing.”  I answered. But I really wanted to ask him kung ano na ba status namin. Pero I don’t have the guts. Should I just be contented sa kung anong meron kami? 

Binalik niya ang atensyon niya sa tv. 

“Tristan, how many girlfriends have you had before?”  I asked, out of curiousity.

“Hmm… hindi pa talaga ako nagkakaroon ng girlfriend sa totoo lang.”  Sabi niya. 

“Really?” I’m not convinced. Impossible na hindi pa siya nagkakaroon ng girlfriend.

“Bakit parang hindi ka naniniwala? Hindi pa talaga. Just short flings and casual sex.”  Sabi niya. Then napaupo siya at humarap sa akin.  “Pero alam mo, Andi, may nakilala akong babae. Maganda siya at mabait. Gusto ko na nga yata siya eh. Ano sa tingin mo ang dapat kong gawin para mapasagot siya? Hindi kasi ako marunong manligaw.”

I looked down trying not to cry. God! Meron na pa lang siyang babaeng nagugustuhan. So all those kisses and hugs meant nothing to him? Am I just one of his flings?

His hand held my chin, forcing me to look at him. My vision were blurry with tears.  “Andi, bakit?”

Inilayo ko ang mukha ko sa kanya at umiwas ng tingin.  “W-wala. I got something stuck in my eye.”

“Ah ok. Gusto kong makilala mo siya, Andi. May date kami ngayon at isasama kita.”  Sabi niya. What a sadist! He knows naman that I’m inlove with him tapos gusto niyang iharap ako sa babaeng gusto niya! 

“No, thanks. I’ll stay here na lang.”  Sabi ko. Tumayo ako sa couch at lumakad papunta sa kwarto.

“Saan ka pupunta? Hindi pa tapos ang palabas.”  I heard him say. I ignored him. Who gives a darn about the show. I so hate him. Pinaasa niya lang ako. May pa- I like you I like you pa siya. Yun pala may iba na siyang nagugustuhan.

After a few minutes, kumatok siya sa pinto ko.  “Andi, nagtext na siya sa akin. Papunta na daw siya. Kailangan na natin umalis.”

“Then go! I’m not going with you. Ayokong maistorbo ang date niyo.”  Sabi ko.

“Gusto ka nga niya makilala.”  Sabi niya. What an ass!

“Ayoko! Dito na lang ako.”  Sabi ko naman.

He opened the door at pumasok sa kwarto ko. 

“Ang rude mo talaga. You can’t come into my room!” 

“It’s not locked.” 

I crossed my arms.  “That’s cause it doesn’t have a lock.”

“Sumama ka na, please?”  He begged.

“Bakit ba gusto mo ko isama? Do I really have to be there?”

“Oo naman. You’re important to me, Andi. Gusto kong makilala mo ang unang babaeng nagpatibok puso ko.”  He said with a big smile on his face. Oh how I envy that girl. I wish I could make Tristan that happy. 

Maybe yung like na sinasabi niya is different sa like na iniisip ko. He just likes me as a friend? But why does he kiss me? Kasi gusto niya lang? This guy is so difficult.

Bigla niya hinatak ang isang kamay ko.  “Halika na.”

“I said I don’t want to go!”  I shouted. Hindi niya ako pinansin. Hinatak niya ako palabas ng apartment at bumaba kami at sumakay sa motorcycle niya. Napilitan na akong sumama sa kanya. We went to this fancy restaurant.

Pinaupo kami ng receptionist sa isang table. I flipped open the menu that was given to us by the waiter. Ang mamahal ng mga food. Tristan is very frugal hindi siya gagastos ng ganito kamahal, he must really like the girl.

“Umorder ka na.”  Sabi niya.

“Nasaan na yung date mo?”  Tanong ko.

“Traffic daw kaya medyo mala-late siya. Umorder ka na lang.

“  He said.

Pumili ako ng pinakamahal na food to get back at him. He is such a dickhead for making come with him sa date nila ng girl na gusto niya!

“I’ll have steak and lobster.”  Sabi ko sa waiter.

“How would you like your steak cooked?”  Tanong ng waiter.

“Medium well.” Sagot ko. 

Humarap siya kay Tristan.  “How about you, sir?”

“Ah… tubig na lang ako.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

Umalis na ang waiter pagkatapos nun.

“Why didn’t you order anything?”  I felt bad. I’m sure Tristan worked hard for that money at masasayang lang dahil sa expensive na pagkaian. 

“Hihintayin ko pa siya.”  Sabi niya.

“Oh… okay.” 

Dumating na ang inorder kong pagkain pero wala pa rin ang date niya. 

“Gusto mo?”  Tanong ko while digging in to my food.

“Oo ba.”  Sabi niya. And I shared my food with him. Nagustuhan niya naman iyon. Mauubos na namin ang pagkain namin pero hindi pa din dumadating ang ka-date niya. I don’t know kung tatawanan ko siya o maaawa ako.

“Are you sure pupunta pa siya?”  I asked.

“Sigurado akong pupunta yun.” 

“Then why isn’t she here yet? We’ve been here for almost an hour.” 

“Oh nandito na pala siya. Sabi sa’yo dadating yun!”  Napangiti siya while looking sa pinto ng restaurant. 

Napatingin dina ko doon.  “Where?”

“Ayun oh!”  Sabi niya and looked at me.

Ang dami kasing naglalabas-pasok sa restaurant.  “What is she wearing?”

“White shirt, jeans, flip-flops, glasses.”  Sabi niya habang nakatingin sa akin. Napatingin ako sa suot ko. I’m wearing white shirt, and jeans, and flipflops, and glasses. Napaawang ang bibig ko.

“Kanina pa pala siya nandito.”  He said smiling then he took my hand.  “Ang tagal kong naghintay na dumating ka sa akin. Pero hindi ko agad na realize na ikaw na pala ang hinihintay ko.”

I wanted to jump into his arms. All along ako yung binabanggit niyang babaeng gusto niya? 

“Y-you don’t know how happy you made me, Tristan.”  I said.

“Hindi mo rin alam kung gaano mo ako pinasaya mula nang dumating ka sa buhay ko.”  He said and kissed my hand. 

He paid for the bill and we left the restaurant. Umuwi na kami pagkatapos.

“Tristan, I’m so sorry kasi napagastos ka ng mahal. I know we don’t have alot of money. Dapat nagamit mo yun sa mas important na bagay and nagastos mo lang sa isang dinner.”  I bit my lower lips.

“Okay lang yun. Masarap naman eh. Saka first date natin iyon kaya worth it naman.”  Sabi niya.

“I did that to get back at you. I was really jealous kasi nung sinabi mong may gusto kang ibang babae.” 

He grinned. “Hindi ko alam na selosa ka pala.”

Niyakap niya ako at hinalikan sa labi. I knew it was going to be a quick peck on the lips na naman. Before he could pull his head away, I wrapped my arms around his neck. I’m ready to give myself to him. I kissed him back passionately. I could tell that he was surprised because his lips stopped moving. I ran my tongue along his lips. Nagsimula na ulit gumalaw ang lips niya. He nibbled on my bottom lip and I opened my mouth for him. He slipped his tongue in my mouth and I could taste him. He taste so good. I’ve been craving for this kind of kiss.

Hinawakan ko ang isang kamay niya and brought it to my breast. I want him to touch me everywhere like he did before. He cupped my breast and gently massaged it. He caressed it over and over. Then he suddenly stopped. Bumaba ang kamay niya sa tiyan ko and it went inside my shirt. Tinanggal niya ang hook ng bra ko and his hand went back to my breast. His hand freely touching my bare breast. He rubbed my nipple between his fingers and it feels so good.

His lips left mine and traveled down my neck. He sucked and gently bit it.

“Oohh…”  I moaned.

I ran my fingers through his hair and grabbed on. Para akong nanghihina and I needed something to cling on to. Itinaas niya ang shirt ko at bumaba ang ulo niya sa dibdib ko. He sucked my left breast while his hand massaged my right breast. He took my nipple in his mouth, lightly biting it. His mouth is so hot and wet.

I was disappointed when he stopped. But then, he took my hand and brought me to his room. I thought he was going to stop na talaga. Pinahiga niya ako sa kama niya. And I watched him as he take off his clothes. I stared at his nakedness. Hanggang sa bumaba ang mata ko sa thing niya! It’s so long and thick. I wanted to look away pero I can’t.

“Pwede ka pang magback out.”  Sabi niya.

“No, I want to do it na.” 

Sumampa na siya sa kama.  “Andi, hindi mo kailangan pilitin ang sarili mo. Maiintindihan ko kung tatanggi ka.”

“I… I want this!”  I grabbed his thing with my hand. It was hard.  “I really do, Tristan.”

He groaned and I instantly pulled my hand away.

“Oh my god! I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”  I said, embarrased. 

“Hindi iyon masakit. It feels good.”  Sabi niya.

Ibinalik ko ang kamay ko sa kanya. I got really curious and let my hand explore his thing. Inalis niya ang mga kamay ko doon.

“Kapag itinuloy mo yan. Maagang matatapos ito.”  I didn’t understand what he meant pero tumigil na din ako.

He started taking off my clothes too hanggang sa hubad na din ako katulad niya. He opened my leg and started kissing my tummy down to my private part. He planted small kisses around it.

“Please, Tristan…” I whimpered. I want him to touch me there. I moaned when his lips reached my slit. He opened my womanhood hood with his two fingers and licked it. He found the most pleasurable part. He started licking and sucking it. He licked it in circular motion, it made my leg tremble. 

I felt his finger push inside me. It didn’t hurt like before but I felt a slight discomfort. He started moving it in and out of me hanggang sa sumarap na. He was going so fast and I wanted to explode. Then slowly slid another finger and I felt a sharp pain.

“Relax, Andi… I’m trying to loosen you up.”  He said. He continued moving his finger, very slowly. Hanggang sa makapasok na ito. He took his finger out and in again. He was going faster hanggang sa wala na akong maramdaman na sakit.

I felt this sensation in the bottom of my stomach. I need to let it out because if I don’t I feel like I’ll explode. My back arched off the bed, I can feel it flowing out of me. My whole body is shaking.

He stopped licking me and knelt between my legs. He looked at me with his clouded dark eyes. He spread my legs wide open and pulled me closer to him. His huge thing brushed along my lady part. I took a deep breath. Here it goes. Andi, please, don’t ruin this! Sa una lang masakit yan, after that hindi na. Just like yung mga nababasa ko sa pocketbooks.

He pressed against my entrance. He slowly thrust himself in. He moved inch by inch and bent down to kiss me on the lips. Napakapit ako sa braso niya. His lips distracted me from the pain. But God, it still hurts. My nails dig into his flesh.

“D-don’t stop, Tristan. Just keep going.”  I whispered. 

He started moving a little faster hanggang sa mabawasan na ang sakit. He moved in and out of me. I felt both pleasure and pain. 

“Andi, malapit na ako…” He panted.

And I could feel it again. That pleasant pressure swelling inside me. I let myself go, my body started to relax. He made one lst huge thrust and I felt a warm, thick liquid shooting inside me. He rolled off of me and lie down beside me.

“That would be five thousand pesos.”  He said with his eyes half open. 

“Huh?”  I stared at him confused.

“May 50% discount ka pa nga. I normally charge ten thousand for sex.”  Sabi niya.

“I- I don’t have money.”  Sabi ko.

“Ang dami mo ng utang sa akin, Andi. Hindi bale, nakalista na lahat iyon.”  He chuckled. I realized that he was just kidding.

He nuzzled his nose into my neck. 

“Tristan, what are we?”  I can’t help but ask. We already had sex yet hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ba talaga kami.

“Tao.” Pilosopong sagot niya.

“I’m serious.”  I said.

“Sa akin ka lang at sa’yo lang ako.”  He answered before giving me a kiss on the neck.

“So… you’re my boyfriend na?” 

“Kung sasagutin mo ako.”  He said.

“My answer is yes.”  I said, smiling.

“Girlfriend na kita, wala ng bawian. I love you, mahal ko.”  Sabi niya. I felt butterflies in my stomach when he said I love you tapos he called me ‘mahal ko’. Am I just dreaming? Kasi kung dream to I don’t want to wake up na.

Chapter Fifteen

I was woken up by the warmth of the sun rays on my face. I felt something heavy na nakadagan sa tiyan ko at sa legs ko. When I tried to move naramdaman ko ang pain sa buong body ko. I groaned when I felt a sharp pain on my private part.

“Okay ka lang?”  I heard Tristan’s voice and my eyesautomatically opened. Napatingin ako sa tabi ko.

“T-tristan…”  Oh my god! It wasn’t a dream. Tristan and I really did it. And… and he’s now my boyfriend. I can’t believe this. I want to jump out of bed at magtatalon sa happiness na nararamdaman ko ngayon. 

“Hoy! Bakit nakatulala ka?”  Tanong niya.

“We… we did it.”  I said in a small voice. 

He pulled me closer to him and kissed me on the forehead.  “Nagsisisi ka ba?”

“NO!”  I quickly answered and I touched his cheek.  “I would never regret giving my virginity to you. I love you… mahal ko. Thank you for being gentle.”

He hugged me tighter.  “The pleasure is mine. Masakit pa rin ba?” 

 I pouted and nodded my head.

“Kawawa naman ang mahal ko.”  He said. Hinatak niya ang kumot revealing my naked body.

“Tristan!”  I screamed and tried covering myself with my hands.

He chuckled.  “Ano pa bang pwede mo itago sa akin? Nakita ko na lahat yan… hindi lang nakita, nahawakan ko pa at nahalikan ko.”

I suddenly felt my cheeks burning. Tinanggal niya ang mga kamay ko sa body ko. Then he went on top of me.  “Nagba-blush ang mahal ko.”

He gave me a quick kiss on my forehead, and the tip of my nose, down to my lines and neck and the middle of my chest. My heat started pounding in my chest and my whole body feels like it’s on fire. Katulad ng naramdaman ko kagabi. His lips traveled down my stomach and down to my…

“T-tristan, what are you going to do?”  I asked.

“I-ki-kiss ko ang masakit sa’yo.”  Tumaas ang isang sulok ng labi niya. He spread my legs apart at bumaba ang ulo niya doon. He teasingly kissed my inner thigh. 

“Ohh…”  I moaned when his lips touched my female part. I felt his tongue lick my folds, moving his tongue up and down. Why does it feel so good? Kahit may nararamdaman pa rin akong pain, the pleasure overpowered it. He flicked his tongue on my swollen flesh. And soon enough, naramdaman ko na naman ang overwhelming sensation na iyon. 

“Oh God… T-tristan…”  Lalo niyang binilisan ang paggalaw ng tongue niya. He sucked my swollen flesh until I couldn’t hold it any longer. My body started to shake and tingle. Ahh… I feel like I’m on cloud nine.

Umangot ang ulo ni Tristan. Our eyes met and he sexily licked his lips.  “Mahal ko, ang sarap mo talaga.”

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa ‘thing’ niya. It’s already big and hard. Oh my god! Ipapasok na naman niya sa akin iyan. I bit my lower lip. My female part is still sore. I know it’ll hurt.

“Huwag ka mag-alala di ko ipapasok sa’yo ito.”  It’s like nabasa niya ang isip ko.Humiga siya sa tabi ko and then he took my hand at dinala niya sa thing niya. He guided my hand up and down his shaft. Hanggang sa hinayaan niya na akong gumawa nun.

“Mahal ko, bilisan mo pa…”  He groaned. I moved my hand faster just like what he told me to do. After a few stroke white liquid came out of it. It ran down my hand and it was sticky and warm. 

He stretched his arms. Tumingin siya sa akin and smiled.  “Ang ganda ng simula ng araw ko.”

Itinaas ko ang kamay ko, the one that’s covered with his sperm. Kumuha siya ng tissue na nakapatong sa bedside table and wiped them off my hand.  “Sorry about that.”

“Tristan?”  I called his name.

“Mmm?” 

“You said you love me.”  I softly said.

“Yes, I did. Mahal kita, Andi.”  Sabi niya. Is this all for real? 

“I thought it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing. Kasi you said hindi naman ako ang type mo. And hindi naman ako maganda, I’m sure maraming pretty girls-”  Sabi ko.

“Sinong may sabing hindi ka maganda?”  He frowned.  “Palagi kong sinasabi sa iyo na mukha kang matandang dalaga sa ayos mo… pero hindi ibig sabihin nun hindi ka maganda. Saka oo nga hindi ikaw ang type ko pero ikaw ang gusto ng puso ko.”

That was enough to make me smile.  “Kahit I’m not good in bed?”

“We’ll work on that. Mahal ko, ako ang magtuturo sa’yo ng lahat ng kailangan mong malaman. Kahit ano’ng position pa yan.”  He grinned. 

We took a bath together after we got up from bed. I got comfortable na with him seeing my naked body. We actually spent over an hour in the bathroom.  We had our breakfast after that.

“Magsimba tayo ngayon, mahal ko.”   Sabi niya.

“This is the first time na nag-aya ka magsimba? Are you sick or something?”  Tanong ko sa kanya. Tristan is not a religious guy, ayun ang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya.

Tumawa siya.  “Gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa Diyos dahil sa wakas may nangyari din maganda sa buhay ko.”  He took my hand at hinila niya ako palapit sa kanya.  “Dumating ka sa buhay ko. Ikaw lang ang nagmahak sa akin ng buong-buo at walang pag-aalinlangan at nagpapasalamat ako dahil doon.”

My eyes start to fill with tears of joy. I can’t believe this is happening right now. Hindi ko akalain na someone would be thankful for having me in their life. For a long time, I felt like I was just a minor role in a book but now, now I’m a heroine. I’m Tristan’s heroine.

When we got to the church instead na mass ang maabutan namin, we saw a wedding. May nagpapakasal sa simbahan and the bride was so lovely wearing her white wedding gown. Hinatak ko si Tristan papunta sa may dulo ng simbahan so I could watch the wedding.

“Mahal ko, can we stay here muna? I want to see the wedding.” Pakiusap ko sa kanya.

“Sure.”  Pumayag naman siya.

He wrapped his arms around my waist habang nanonood kami. The bride and the groom are standing in front of the altar. Ang ganda dress niya at ang mahabang veil niya na sumasayad sa sahig. I’ve dreamed of being married all my life to the person I love. 

“I want to get married someday, too.”  I said smiling dreamily.

“Hindi ba dapat magpapakasal ka na? Bakit ka pa tumakbo kung gusto mo din pala ikasal?” Sabi niya.

“Syempre ayoko naman kay Jason! I only want to be married to you. Ikaw lang ang pakakasalan ko.”  I answered.

“Totoo?” 

“Yes.”  I quickly answered.

“Okay lang sa’yo kahit hindi kita kayang bigyan ng magarbong kasal?”  Tanong niya.

“Kahit wala ng wedding gown, I could just wear a simple white dress. Kahit ano’ng klaseng kasal pa yan, I don’t care. Basta sa’yo ako ikakasal.”  Sagot ko.

“Natatakot akong baka bigla kang mawala sa akin, mahal ko.”  Humigpit ang hawak niya na parang may kukuha sa akin.

“Paano naman ako mawawala sa’yo. I’ll never leave you.”  I said.

“Hindi mo rin masasabi. Marami pang pwedeng mangyari. Paano kung dumating ang mga magulang mo at kunin ka nila? Paano na tayo?”  Nararamdaman ko ang takot sa boses niya.

“Hindi ako sasama sa kanila.”   I pouted.

“Mahal ko, dadating ang panahon na kakailanganin mong bumalik sa pamilya mo, hindi pwedeng habang buhay tataguan mo sila. Saka ayoko naman sirain ang magandang kinabukasan mo.”  Sabi niya.

“But… but you’re my future.”  I softly said.

“Basta kapag nagkalayo tayo lagi mo lang tatandaan na maghihintay ako sa iyo.”  Napaka-sincere ng boses niya.

“You may now kiss the bride…”  Narinig kong sabi ng pari. His fingers grasped my chin at inangat niya ang ulo ko. Then he gave me a peck on the lips.

Lumabas na kami ng simbahan pagkatapos ng wedding. He took me to this kiosk na may mga itinitinda na fishballs and yung mga pagkain na tinutusok sa stick. I don’t really know most ng mga pagkain doon. Nakikita ko lang ang mga yun but never pa akong nakatikim, although I have been wanting to try it pero sabi ni daddy madumi daw iyon.

“Ano’ng gusto mo, mahal ko?”  Tanong niya.

“What’s that orange round thing?”  Tinuro ko sa kanya iyon.

“Kwek kwek, pugo yan na may harina. Masarap yan.”  Sabi niya.

“I’ll have that and fishballs.”  Sabi ko. I heard kasi masarap daw ang fishballs.  

“Manong, fishball nga saka kwek kwek… saka chicken ball na din.”  Sabi ni Tristan sa nagtitinda. Nilagay ng nagtitinda iyon sa isang lalagyan tapos nilagyan ng sauce. 

“O, kain na.”  Inabot sa akin ni Tristan ang stick. Tinusok ko yung kwek kwek ng stick at kinagat ko iyon. It taste good naman.

“Nagustuhan mo?”  Tristan asked.

I gave him a thumbs up while I was chewing. Why does daddy thinks na madumi ito? It doesn’t look dirty! And it’s delicious. 

“Mahal ko, gusto mo ng chicken ball?”  Tanong ni Tristan and I nodded my head. Inilapit sa akin ni Tristan ang chicken ball para isubo sa akin at binuksan ko ang bibig ko. Pinatikim din sa akin ni Tristan ang fishball. Lahat naman masarap and I really liked it all.

“Pasensya na, mahal ko. Wala kasi akong pera ngayon, pinangbayad ko sa upa ng apartment, sa kuryente at sa tubig kaya di kita nalibre sa masarap na restaurant.”  Hingi niya ng tawad. Naglalakad na kami pauwi sa apartment and he’s holding my hand.  “Hayaan mo next time. Babawi ako.”

“Ano ka ba? Masarap naman yung kinainan natin. You don’t have to take me to restaurants. Sa next date natin, we could eat mami or lugaw diyan sa kanto. Mas masarap nga yung mga ganun na food.”  I smiled. Mas nasasarapan talaga ako sa street foods. I don’t know maybe kasi siguro bago sa panlasa ko. I won’t ask for more than this. I won’t ask for more than what he can give. I love the life I have with him. At kung itong buhay na ito ang magiging future ko sa kanya then I would happily accept it.

Huminto si Tristan sa paglakad. We stopped in front of a man na may table sa tabi at may nakapatong na jewelries sa table.

Tumingin-tingin si Tristand and picked up a ring. “Magkano ’to?”

“300 lang, boss.”  Sabi ng lalaki.

“Bawasan mo naman.”  Sabi ni Tristan. Nagtawaran sila ng lalaki hanggang sa mapunta na sa 200 ang price at binila na iyon ni Tristan. 

Isinuot sa akin ni Tristan iyon.  “Mahal ko, ayan lang muna ang maibibigay ko sa’yo pero pangako bibilhan kita ng pinaka-magandang singsing kapag ikinasal tayo.” 

“I love it, mahal ko.”  I couldn’t take my eyes off the ring. For me, it’s the most beautiful gift I’ve ever received. Hindi man ito mahal but he gave it to me with love. Hindi naman importante sa akin ang mga materyal na baga,ang mahalaga ipinakikita niya sa akin ang pagmamahal niya. 

Pagkatapos namin mamasyal umuwi na kami. Habang naglalakad kami nakasalubong namin si Caloy. 

“Mag-apologize ka na.” Mahinang sabi ko.

“Caloy!”  Tinawag siya ni Tristan at napatingin siya sa amin. Napaurong si Caloy ng makita si Tristan.  “Pare gusto ko lang humingi ng tawad sa ginawa ko sa’yo.”

Parang na relax naman ang mukha ni Caloy.  “O-okay lang yun.”

Umakbay sa akin si Tristan.  “Nag-away kasi kami ng mahal ko nang araw na iyon, alam mo na LQ. Nagselos ako at inisip kong nagkakamabutihan na kayo. Normal lang sa relasyon iyon. Pero ok na kami ngayon. Di ba, mahal ko?” 

i just nodded my head. He kissed me on the forehead in front of Caloy. Marking his territory, eh? It’s like he’s sinasabi niya kay Caloy, by the way he acts, na sa kanya lang ako. 

“Naiintindihan ko.”  Ngumiti si Caloy.  “Pano, may lakad pa ako.”

“Sige, pare.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

“Bye, Andi.”  Paalam ni Caloy.

“Bye. See you around.”  Sabi ko sa kanya at umalis na siya.

“Yan na, nag sorry na ko.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

“Thanks, mahal ko.” 

“Masakit pa ba?”  Tanong niya.

Kumunot ang noo ko.  “What?”

“Yung ano mo…”  Ngumuso siya sa crotch ko. I could feel myself blushing.

“H-hindi na.”  Nahihiyang sagot ko.

He grinned.  “So, pwede na ulit?!”

“I… I guess so.” 

“Yes!”  Tuwang-tuwang sabi niya at nagmamadaling hinatak ako.

Chapter Seventeen

Andi’s POV

“Mahal ko…”  Tristan hugged me from the back and started kissing my neck while making exaggerated ’ mwah ’ sound.  “Bango-bango…”

“Stop, mahal ko, I’m cooking dinner.”  Saway ko sa kanya. 

“Huwag ka na magluto. Ikaw na lang kakainin ko.”  He whispered huskily.  

“You’re so makulit.”  I giggled. Nakikiliti ako sa halik niya sa leeg ko. Pwede na ako ngayon. Tapos na kasi ang period ko. I know how hard it is for him na magkatabi kami sa isang kama but he couldn’t make love to me. Alam ko at nararamdaman ko kung gaano siya nagpipigil.

Hinarap niya ako sa kanya.  “Wala ka ng dalaw ngayon, di ba?”

I nodded. 

  

“Thank God!”  Sabi niya. He pushed my boobs together and buried his face on my cleavage.  “Ohh, my babies. Namiss ko kayo.”

Natawa ako. Tristan is such a crazy pervert. I kind of got used to him acting like this. Ganito siya maglambing sa akin. His lips went up my neck and sucked hard on my sensitive spot. Napahawak ako sa ulo niya and ran my fingers through his soft hair. Gumapang ang halik niya pataas sa labi ko. He kissed me passionately, thrusting his tongue inside my mouth. He squeezed both my breasts with his hands.

Natulak ko siya ng maamoy ko na nasusunog na ang niluluto ko.  “Oh my god!”

Pagtingin ko sa lutuan umuusok na ito ng maitim na usok. Madaling nakapag-react si Tristan, he quickly turned of the stove. I sighed with relief ng mapatay iyon.

“You idiot!”  Galit na sabi ko sa kanya. 

He just laughed and kissed my forehead.  “Sunog na ang pagkain natin. Paano ba yan? Gutom na ako.”

He raised his eyebrows and grinned at me. His eyes sparkled in excitement. He pulled me towards him at ng hahalikan niya na ako inilayo ko ang mukha ko sa kanya. Tinulak ko siya sa dibdib at tumakbo palayo sa kanya.

“Catch me if you can!”  Tumatawang sabi ko.

Hinabol niya ako. We ran in endless loops around the table. Huminto ako and his at the opposite side of the table. I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Hindi mo ko mahahabol. You’re old na kasi. Uugod-ugod ka na.”  Asar ko sa kanya while I was giggling like a little girl.

Tumaas ang isang sulok ng labi niya at naningkit ang mga mata niya.  “Ah ganon. Uugod-ugod pala? Humanda ka sa akin kapag nahuli kita. Baka ikaw ang sumuko mamaya.”

Tumakbo ako papunta sa kwarto. He wasn’t too far behind me. Bago ko masara ang pinto ng kwarto hinarangan niya iyon ng katawan niya. Hindi ko na nasara ang pinto at tumakbo palayo at humabol pa rin siya sa akin hanggang sa mapunta na ako sa corner ng bedroom. He smiled when he realized na wala na akong matatakbuhan. I stepped back habang dahan-dahan siyang lumalapit sa akin hanggang sa maramdaman ko na ang wall sa likod ko. Binuhat niya ako at hinagis sa kama. 

He got on top of me and pinned my hands above my hand with one of his. He smirked.  “Ano ulit yung sabi mo kanina?”

“Did I say anything?”  Painosenteng sabi ko. I’m scared baka totohanin niya ang banta niya.

“Oo, may sinabi ka. Sabi mo matanda na ako. Sabi mo pa nga uugod-ugod na ako.”  Tumatawang sabi niya. 

I faked a gasp and acted suprised. “ I said that? Really?“

“Oo, sinabi mo iyon. Patay ka sa akin ngayon! Hindi talaga kita pagpapahingahin.”  Sabi niya bago bumaba ang labi niya sa labi ko. Itinaas niya ang shirt ko with his other hand at pati ang bra ko. He palmed my breast and played with my nipple with his two fingers.

Bigla kaming napabalikwas ng marinig namin ang sunod-sunod na katok sa pinto. 

“Pambihira naman o!”  Nakasimangot na sabi niya bago umalis sa ibabaw ko. I sat down and fixed myself. Sumunod ako sa kanyang lumabas ng kwarto.

He opened the door at bumungad si mang Celso, our next door neighbor. He’s carrying his son.

“Tristan, pwede bang maiwan ko muna sa iyo ang anak ko? Manganganak na kasi ang asawa ko.”  He sounded like his in a hurry.

“Ha?”  Gulat na sabi ni Tristan.

“Sige na, Tristan! Nakikiusap ako sa’yo. Kailangan ko na dalhin sa ospital ang misis ko.”  He begged.

Lumapit ako sa kanila. Nakakaawa naman kasi saka cute naman ang baby.  “Don’t worry we’ll take care of him.”

“Andi!”  Sabi ni Tristan pero hindi ko siya pinansin.

Kinuha ko ang baby mula kay mang Celso.

“Maraming salamat, Andi. Nandito na ang diaper niya at saka ang gatas.”  Inabot niya ang bag at wala ng nagawa si Tristan kundi kunin iyon. Nagmamadaling umalis si mang Celso.

“Bahala ka mag-alaga sa bata.” Sabi ni Tristan.

“Okay.”  I answered. And focused my attention on the baby.  “Hi, handsome. Ang cute cute mo naman.” 

I played with the baby habang si Tristan ay nanonood na lang ng tv show. Sobrang kulit niya. He crawled and crawled and crawled, sunod naman ako ng sunod sa kanya. I was crawling sa floor din at tawa siya ng tawa habang sumusunod ako sa kanya. Nang mapagod ako binuhat ko siya at tumabi na kami kay Tristan.

Kinandong ko siya sa akin at nilaro. Tawa lang siya ng tawa.

“Ano ba yan? Nagseselos na ako ah.

Then he suddenly started crying and I didn’t know what to do. Kinantahan ko siya and I played with him. I tried everything but he still wouldn’t stop crying. I don’t know how to handle a crying baby.

“Tristan…” Natatarantang sabi ko kay Tristan.

“Akin na nga.”  Kinuha siya sa akin ni Tristan.  “Puno na ang diaper. Kumuha ka ng bagong diaper, mahal ko.”

Kumuha ako ng diaper sa bag at inabot kay Tristan. Hiniga niya ang baby and he changed his diaper. I didn’t know na marunong din pala mag-alaga si Tristan ng baby. Naisip ko, paano kaya pagnagka-baby kami. The thought of having his baby made me smile. I sighed. Maybe, one day…

“Yan! Fresh na ang baby. Puro laro lang ang alam ni ate Andi, eh ano?”  Sabi ni Tristan sa baby at humagikgik iyon.  “Kawawa naman ang baby. Hindi marunong mag-alaga si ate Andi.”

Ang cute niyang panoorin habang nilalaro niya ang baby. I didn’t expect him to be so good with babies. I mean, wala sa itsura niya saka kanina parang wala siyang pakialam sa baby. Nang mahawakan niya na ang baby, hindi niya na binitawan iyon. I’m sure he would be a good father sa magiging mga anak namin. Hindi lang pala siya boyfriend material, husband material pa. I’m so lucky.

“Marunong ka pala mag-alaga ng baby.”  Sabi ko.

“Oo naman. Bata pa lang ako, pinag-aalaga na kami ng mga baby sa bahay-ampunan.” 

“Papa…” Nakadapa sa dibdib ni Tristan ang baby at nag-crawl ito papunta sa neck niya at niyakap siya. Then he sucked his thumb.

“Aww… he thinks you’re his dad.” Nakangiting sabi ko habang nakatingin sa kanila. I felt this warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I couldn’t help but imagine him carrying our baby.

Kinarga na siya ni Tristan papunta sa kwarto namin. Ginawan niya ang baby ng milk at pinadede ito habang hinehele. Nakahiga lang ako sa kama habang pinanonood siya. He really looks like a dad.

“Bagay pala sa’yo maging daddy.”  I said, smiling.

“Eh di, pwede na pala tayong gumawa ng baby.”  He grinned.

“Kung gusto mo. I wouldn’t mind having a baby with you.”  Seryosong sabi ko.

“Nagbibiro lang ako. Hindi pa tayo pwedeng magka-baby, mahal ko. Masyado ka pang bata saka gusto ko kapag nagka-anak na tayo kaya ko na kayong bigyan ng magandang buhay. Isa pa, ayoko munang may kaagaw sa atensyon mo. Sa ngayon ako na lang muna ang baby mo.”  He winked at me.

Nang makatulog na si baby, humiga na siya at ibinaba niya ang baby sa gitna namin. We’re like a family. 

“Tulog na ang bata.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

“So?” 

He gave me that naughty smile. “Pwede na natin ituloy.”

 “No, we can’t. May baby dito.”  Dahilan ko.

“Maswerte ka at nakaiwas ka ngayon. Babawi na lang ako next time.”  Sabi niya.  “Kiss mo na lang ako, mahal ko. Hindi ako makakatulog ng hindi mo ko hinahalikan.”

Nilapit ko ang ulo ko sa kanya and I gave him a kiss on the lips.  “Good night, mahal ko.”

“Good night…”

Umaga na and I’m cooking breakfast. Nilalaro naman ni Tristan ang baby. May kumatok sa pinto at binuksan iyon ni Tristan. 

“Maraming maraming salamat talaga, Tristan. Kukunin ko na ang anak ko. Nanganak na si misis. Lalaki ulit.”  Masayang balita ni mang Celso.

“Congrats!”  Masayang sabi ko. Binuhat na niya ang anak niya. Kinuha ko ang bag na iniwan niya sa amin at ibinigay kay mang Celso.

“Salamat din sa’yo, Andi.”  Sabi niya.

“You’re welcome.”  I gave him a warm smile. Hinawakan ko ang kamay ng baby.  “Bye bye, baby.”

Nagpaalam na sila at naiwan kaming dalawa ni Tristan. He placed his hand on my shoulder. 

“I think you’ll make a good dad.”  Sabi ko.

“Talaga?”

I nodded my head. Usually, ang mga lalaki walang alam sa pag-aalaga ng baby but not him. He knows just exactly what to do. 

“Balang-araw magkakaroon din tayo ng baby. Sa tamang panahon.”  He kissed me on the forehead.

We had our breakfast pagkatapos naligo na siya and he got ready for work. 

“Bye, mahal ko.”  Paalam niya.

“Bye. Take care.”  Sabi ko and I kissed him. Pinanood ko siya hanggang sa mawala na siya sa paningin ko. Then I closed the door. I washed the dishes na pinagkainan namin at nagwalis. Habang naglilinis ako may kumatok na naman sa pinto. Probably yung landlady na naman, hindi na naman siguro nagbayad si Tristan ng rent.

Binitawan ko ang walis at binuksan ang pinto. My jaw dropped open when I saw my mother standing in front of me.

My mom hugged me.  “Oh Andi, darling. Mommy missed you so much. Pinag-alala mo kami ng daddy mo. Alam mo bang kung saan-saan ka namin hinanap?”

“Mom…”  I said in a small voice and hugged her back. I really missed my mom kahit na galit ako sa kanila.

Pinapasok ko siya sa apartment at pinaupo sa couch. 

“Mom, you want anything to drink?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“No, I’m okay. My poor darling.”  She cupped my face with her hands.  “Tignan mo ang itsura mo ngayon. Pawis na pawis ka at mukhang pagod ka na. At tignan mo nga ang suot mong damit, parang galing sa thrift store! Kinakawawa ka ba nila dito? Kumakain ka ba ng tatlong beses sa isang araw?”

“Mom, Tristan is taking good care of me.”  Sabi ko.

Mom paused for a moment before speaking.  “Who is this Tristan? Siya ba ang sinasabi ni Jason na lalaking kasama mo ng gabing umalis ka?”

“Yes, mom. I ran away because I don’t want to marry Jason.” 

“Darling, you’re going to marry him. Jason is a good man at galing siya sa isang magandang pamilya. Napagkasunduan na namin ng mga magulang niya na ipakasal kayo.”  Sabi ni mommy. 

“But… but I love Tristan.”  My eyes watered.

“Dios Mio, Miranda!”  She exclaimed. Bakas ang galit sa mukha niya.  “Ito ba ang  gusto mong maging buhay mo? This place is horrible! Nakita mo na ba ang mga tao sa labas? Wala silang ginawa kung hindi uminom, magsugal! Patapon na ang mga buhay nila!”

“Nagsisikap naman si Tristan na-”

“Pera lang ang habol sa iyo ng Tristan na yan!” 

I shook my head.  “That’s not true. Mahal ako ni Tristan.”

“Bullshit! He’s after your money. Please, darling, umuwi na tayo.”  Mom begged.

Tumulo na ang mga luha ko.  “I-I’m sorry, mom. Hindi ako sasama sa’yo.”

“You will come home with me, Andi!”  Mariin na sabi niya.

“I can’t leave him. I want to be with him.”  I said, crying.

“Hindi kita pinalaki para masira lang ng hampas-lupang iyon ang buhay mo.”  Galit na sabi ni mommy. Parang may kumirot sa puso ko ng marinig ko ang sinabi niya. I was hurt sa sinabi niya tungkol kay Tristan.

“Kung… kung makikilala mo lang siya you’ll see na he’s an amazing guy. You’ll like him, mom.”  Giit ko.

“Wala akong planong makilala siya.”  Mom said with a straight face. She grabbed my wrist at hinatak ako.  “Umuwi na tayo.”

I pulled my hand out of her grip.  “No! Dito lang ako!”

“Ito ba ang natutunan mo sa lalaking iyon? You were just gone for almost two months at ganyan na ang ugali mo.” 

Tumalikod si mommy at lumabas sa pinto. I thought she was going to leave na. Pagkalabas niya may pumasok na dalawang bodyguard at kinuha ang magkabilang kamay ko.

“Nooo…! Bitawan niyo ako!”  I screamed. Hindi sila nakinig sa akin at hinatak ako palabas ng apartment. Nakatayo si mommy at pinanood ako habang kinakaladkad nila ako.

“Ipasok niyo na si Andi sa kotse.”  Utos ni mommy. 

Sapilitan nila akong ipinasok sa kotse. I tried to opened the door but it was locked. Pumasok ang dalawang bodyguard, ang isa ay nasa passenger seat at ang isa ay nasa driver’s seat. Sumakay si mommy sa isa pang kotseng nakasunod.

“Please, let me go…”  Pagmamakaawa ko sa kanila.

“Sorry, miss Andi. Hindi pwede.”  Sabi ng bodyguard.

Naiiyak na napatingin na lang ako sa labas ng bintana. I promise, babalikan kita Tristan… Babalik ako…

Chapter Eighteen

The car stopped in front of the mansion door. Bumaba ang mga bodyguard at binuksan ng isa ang pinto ng kotse. I still couldn’t stop crying. I want to ran back to Tristan’s apartment.

“Miss Andi, baba na po kayo.”  Sabi ng bodyguard.

I crossed my arms.  “Hindi ako baba dito hangga’t hindi niyo ako ibinabalik kay Tristan.”

“Oh darling, you’re acting like a kid. Get out of the car.”  Mom rolled her eyes.

“No!”  Mariin na tanggi ko.

“Just drag her inside the house.”  Utos ni mommy sa mga bodyguard bago tumalikod papasok ng mansion.

Sumunod ang mga bodyguard sa kanya at hinatak nila ako palabas ng kotse. I screamed and screamed para pakawalan nila ako but they didn’t listen. They dragged me inside the mansion. 

“Hey, you’re hurting my daughter.”  Nang marinig nilang sinabi iyon ni daddy binitawan nila ako. Tumakbo ako kay daddy at umiiyak na napaakap.

“Daddy…”  I sobbed. Daddy gently rubbed my back.

“Shh… Don’t cry, Andi.”  Daddy whispered. I missed my him so much. I admit, I’m a daddy’s girl. Nawala ang lungkot ang galit ko ng makita ko ang daddy ko.

“I missed you, dad.”  Umiiyak na sabi ko.

“I know… I know, sweety. I missed you, too.”  Sabi niya. Bumitaw siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin at pinunasan ang mga luha ko.

“Daddy, I can’t marry Jason. Tell me you’re not going to make me marry him.”  Sabi ko.

Bumaksak ang mukha niya. He sighed.  “Sweety, you’re not supposed to know about that yet.”

“I know na! That’s why I ran away. Tell me you’re not going to make me marry him!”  I shouted. Oh please, daddy! I know he’s not going to make me do something I don’t want to do. 

“Listen, Miranda, hindi naman namin kayo ipakakasal agad. Bibigyan namin kayo ng panahon para makilala niyo ang isa’t isa. You’ll never know, baka mahulog ang loob mo sa kanya. Just get to know him. Will you do that for me, sweety?”  Malumanay na sabi ni daddy.

Umiling ako.  “No, I can’t. I’m in love with someone else. Mahal ko na si Tristan.”

 

“Who is Tristan?”  Tanong ni daddy.

Kahit umiiyak ako hindi ko naiwasan ang mapangiti.  “Oh, daddy he’s a great guy. Mahal na mahal niya din ako. He took care of me nang umalis ako dito. He’s the guy I want to marry and spend-”

“Stop it, Miranda! I don’t want to here anymore of that.”  Pareho kaming napatingin kay mommy na galit na galit.  “Isa lang ang taong pakakasalan mo at iyon ay si Jason. Para sa iyo itong ginagawa namin. Ikaw din ang makikinabang dito balang-araw. Hindi ka kayang buhayin ng Tristan na iyon at hindi niya kayang ibigay sa’yo ang buhay na nakasanayan mo.”

“You don’t understand, mom! Hindi man siya mayaman, ginagawa naman ni Tristan ang lahat para mabigyan ako ng comfortable life. Enough na iyon sa akin.”  Sabi ko.

“Sweety, bata ka pa kaya hindi mo pa naiintindihan ang mga bagay-bagay. Tama ang mommy mo.”  Dad said. I felt like bursting into tears. Pakiramdam ko pinagtutulungan nila ako. I was hoping na kakampi sa akin si daddy but he didn’t. 

I marched up my bedroom. Masamang-masama ang loob ko sa kanila. Why can’t they understand na mahal ko si Tristan? I can’t marry Jason! Sumubsob ako sa bed ko at umiiyak na napayakap sa unan ko. If only Tristan was here. I already miss him. Iniisip ko pa lang na hindi ko na siya makikita, it makes me sick. 

Narinig ko ang katok sa pinto ng kwarto ko. Hindi ko iyon pinansin. After a few minutes, nagbukas ito. I heard footsteps coming towards my bedroom. Lumubog ang gilid ng kama ko dahil may umupo doon. Then I felt a hand na sinusuklay ang buhok ko.

“Andi, baby… I know you’re awake. Sorry kung nasigawan kita kanina. Huwag sanang sumama ang loob mo kay mommy. I love you kaya ginagawa ko ito.”  Mom said.

Hindi ako gumalaw.

I heard her sigh. She kissed me on the forehead and left the room. I kind of felt bad. Ngayon lang kami nag-away ni mommy ng ganito. Ngayon ko lang siya natiis at ngayon lang sumama ang loob ko sa kanila. They think they’re doing the right thing for me. Malaki na ako, dapat hinahayaan na nila akong gumawa ng sarili kong desisyon. They have no rights to choose my life for me kahit pa anak nila ako.

Tristan’s POV

Ipinarada ko ang motorsiklo ko at habang naglalakad ako iniisip ko kung ano bang masarap na pagkain ang niluto ngayon ni Andi. Gusto ko na mayakap at mahalikan ang mahal ko. At matutuloy na rin ang aming sexy time mamaya. Sana naman wala ng istorbo. Ilang araw din akong nagtiis!

“Tristan!”  Tawag ni Gardo. Tulad ng inaasahan ko, nag-iinuman na naman sila ng kapwa niya lasenggero.

“Bakit?”  Tanong ko.

“Alam mo bang dumatung yung nanay ni Andi kanina at kinuha siya. Ang gaganda ng kotseng dala nila at ang dami pang bodyguard. Mayaman pala yung chicks mo, ano?”  Sabi nito.

“Halata naman eh. Ang kinis kinis kaya nun.”  Sabi ng kainunam nito.

Hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig ko. Umalis na si Andi? Nagmamadaling  tumakbo ako paakyat sa apartment. Gusto kong makasiguro na totoo ang sinasabi nila. Baka lasing lang ang mga iyon kaya kung anu-ano na ang sinasabi nila. Umaasa pa rin ako na sasalubungin ako ni Andi pagpasok ko.

Marahas kong binuksan ang pinto. Nakakabinging katahimikan ang sumalubong sa akin. Binuksan ko ang pinto sa kwarto namin, sa banyo, sa dating kwarto niya… wala nga siya! Wala ang mahal ko. Nanghihinang napaupo ako sa sahig. 

Parang gusto ko ng umiyak. Saan ko hahanapin ngayon si Andi? Hindi ko alam kung saan siya nakatira o kung ano ang totoong pangalan niya! Dumating na ang araw na ikinatatakot ko. Iniwan na ako ni Andi. Hindi! Babalikan ako ni Andi, alam ko babalik siya dito!

Know I haven’t slept a week at all since you’ve been gone and my eyes are kind of tired from crying all night long. Know I’ve never been to good at cooking just for one. It’s so lonely here without you baby come back home. Cause I’m half-crazy feeling sorry for myself. Half-crazy, worried you’d find someone else to love.

Tangina talaga! Ramdam na ramdam ko yung kanta. Parang tumatagos hanggang kaluluwa ko ang bawat salita. Totoo pala na kapag malungkot ka mas naiintindihan mo ang lyrics. Ilang araw na ba mula ng umalis si Andi? Pang-pitong araw. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin siya bumabalik. 

“Naks! May pinaghuhugutan.”  Sigaw ni Wayne. Inaya ko ang mga barkada ko dito sa apartment para mag-inuman. Si Nick lang ang absent sa amin dito dahil may importante daw siyang pupuntahan. Nakakalungkot kasi pag ako lang ang mag-isa. Bawat sulok ng kwartong ito, si Andi ang nakikita ko.

“Sige, kanta pa. Ilabas mo lahat yan.”  Natatawang sabi naman ni Seth. Gagong mga ’to! Hindi ba nila alam kung gaano kasakit ang nararamdaman ko ngayon at nagawa pa nilang tumawa. 

Binitawan ko ang mic. Nawala na ako sa mood na kumanta.  “Ayoko na!”

Inabot sa akin ni Axel ang bote ng beer. “Iinom mo na lang ulit ng matahimik ka na. Nakakarindi na ang boses mo.”

Marahas kong kinuha ang bote at tinungga ko iyon ng straight.  “Isa pa!”

“Malalasing ka agad sa ginagawa mong ’yan.”  Sabi ni Wayne. Yun nga ang point! Inaya ko sila dito para maglasing. Gusto ko yung sobrang lasing na lasing na lasing na ako para diretso tulog na. Hindi ko na maiisip si Andi.

“Mga dude, may napansin ba kayo?”  Tanong ni Axel.

Nagkatitigan si Wayne at Seth. At halos sabay na sumagot.  “Wala.”

“Wala na si Andi dito ngayon. Siguro kaya ka naglalasing.”  Sabi ni Axel.

“Oo nga, no. Akala ko ba hindi mo girlfriend si Andi?”  Tanong ni Seth.

“Pwede ba huwag niyo akong pakialaman. Uminom na lang tayo!”  Sabi ko habang binubuksan ang isa pang bote ng beer. Nagkibit-balikat na lang ang mga ito at nagpatuloy sa pagkukuwentuhan.

Andi’s POV

“I don’t want to go outside.”  Nakasimangot na sabi ko sa maid namin. Pinatatawag na ako nina mommy at daddy para bumaba. It’s daddy’s birthday today. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin sila kinakausap at nagkukulong ako sa kwarto. Miss na miss na miss na miss ko na ang mahal ko. I hope ganun din siya. And God, sana wala pa siyang ibang babae. Kapag nakakuha ako ng pagkakataon tatakas talaga ako dito.

“Miss Andi, sabi ng mommy mo kailangan mo daw lumabas. Pagagalitan ako ni ma’am niyan kapag hindi ka sumunod sa akin.” Sabi nito.

“Andi, darling…”  Nakatayo si mommy sa may pinto. As usual, she looked stunning in her cream colored long dress. My mom is a fashionista socialite. Everybody admires her. Palagi nilang sinasabi na opposite ako ng mommy ko. I don’t know how to socialize with people and I’m definitely not a fashionista.  “It’s your daddy’s birthday. Kalimutan mo na muna ang galit mo sa amin kahit ngayon araw lang. This would mean alot to your dad.”

Hindi ako nagsalita. I acted like I didn’t hear her.

“Hayaan mo na siya, Melani.”  Sabi niya sa maid namin. “Sweety, bumaba ka na lang kung gusto mo. Hihintayin ka namin ng daddy mo.”

Lumabas na ang maid at isinara ang pinto. My conscience is poking me. Birthday ni daddy ngayon. Dad would be really upset kapag hindi ako pumunta sa birthday niya. Maybe tama lang na makipagbati na ako sa kanila. They’re still my parents after all. Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun, ok na sa akin na ipakasal nila ako kay Jason. I would rather die than marry him.

I jumped out of the bed and went to the bathroom. I took a quick shower at inayos ko ang sarili ko. Sinuot ko yung dress na iniwan sa akin ng maid. It was a pink dress that’s long in the back and short in the front. It doesn’t show too much skin, alam kasi ni mommy I would never wear it if it does.

Tinali ko sa ponytail ang buhok. Naglagay ng konting powder at lipgloss pagkatapos bumaba na ako. 

“That dress looks beautiful on you, darling.” Nakangiting sabi ni mommy ng makasalubong ko siya.  “But you need some makeup. Tanggalin mo din yang ponytail mo. May mga media sa labas so you have to look really gorgeous. Wait, I’ll call Vita!”

Vita is my mom’s personal makeup artist at siya din ang pinakasikat sa Pilipinas. I hate wearing makeup. The only time na ginusto ko magmakeup noong gusto kong mapansin ako ni Tristan. 

“Mom, you don’t have to-”

“Darling, you can’t go out ng hindi ka perfect.”  Sabi ni mommy. Tristan things I’m perfect kahit anong suotin ko o kahit anong itsura ko. Kung nandito siya ngayon, he’d say I’m the most beautiful girl. I just miss him so much.  “Maraming tao ang nasa party. and it’s going to be all over the society pages. You have to look perfect.”

I don’t want to argue with her over sa maliit ng bagay. I just shut my mouth up at pumayag na ako sa gusto niya. She called her hair stylist and makeup artist. Kung anu-anong ginawa nila sa mukha ko at buhok ko. 

“Daddy!”  Yumakap ako kay daddy ng makita ko siya.  “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.”  Masayang sabi ni daddy.

Sabay-sabay kaming sumakay sa limousine at huminto iyon sa harap ng sikat na hotel kung saan gaganapin ang birthday ni daddy. Pagkababa pa lang namin may mga kumukuha na ng mga pictures. Pumasok na kami sa loob at maraming photographer ang sumunod sa amin. I don’t like all these attention I’m getting. Lumayo ako kina mommy at daddy para malayo din ako sa mga photographer. I was suprised when some of them followed me! 

“Hi miss Miranda Cordova, you look beautiful.”  Sabi sa akin ng isang lalaking may hawak ng microphone.

“T-thank you.”  Nahihiyang sabi ko.

“What can you say about your father?”  Tanong niya.

“Ohhh… my dad’s… he’s great.”  I awkwardly answered. Seriously, hindi ako prepared sa mga ganito.

“Is it true that Mr. Harold Cordova is going to run for vice president next election?”  Sunod na tanong niya. My daddy had alot of experience with politics. He ran and won as Mayor sa Quezon City years ago. 

“I have no idea.” I answered, honestly. They asked alot of questions and it’s making me uncomfortable. I excused myself para makalayo sa kanila.

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng maiwan na ako mag-isa.

“Hey.”  Napalingon ako sa nagmamay-ari ng boses na iyon.

“Phoenix!”  I smiled when I saw him. 

“Bakit mag-isa ka dito?”  Tanong niya.

“Oh, ang dami kasing tao doon. I feel suffocated.”  Sabi ko.

“How are you and Tristan? Kanina tumawag siya sa akin, inaaya nga akong umin-”

“Wait! Oh my god! Hulog ka ng langit!”  I jumped out of my seat. Hinawakan ko siya sa magkabilang balikat.  “I need to talk to Tristan, Phoenix! Please help me.”

“Sure. Yun lang pala.”  Inilabas niya ang phone niya from his pocket. He dialed Tristan’s number and gave the phone to me. I want to hear his voice. Kahit boses niya lang.

“Hello?” Napangiti ako ng marinig ko ang boses niya. I gripped the phone so hard I could crack it. 

“Mahal ko…”  My eyes began to water pero hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti ko.

“Andi!”  Napasigaw siya.

“Mahal ko, I miss you so bad.” Humihikbing sabi ko.

“Andi, nasaan ka? Pupuntahan kita.”  Tanong niya.

“Nasa Manila Hotel ako.”  Sabi ko.

“Hintayin mo ako d’yan. Pupuntahan kita.” 

“Tristan, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”  Sabi niya at ibinaba ang phone. Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at inabot ang phone kay Phoenix.

“T-thank you. Thank you so much!”  Napayakap na lang ako kay Phoenix sa sobrang tuwa.

Chapter Nineteen

After a few minutes tumawag ulit sa phone ni Phoenix si Tristan. Phoenix gave me his phone so I could talk to him.

“Mahal ko, nandito na ako. Hinatid ako nila Wayne.”  Sabi niya. Natuwa ako ng marinig ko ang sinabi niya.  “Pero hindi ako makakapasok d’yan sa ballroom. Baba ka dito.”

“Okay, mahal ko. Pababa na ako.”  Basag ang boses na sabi ko. Ibinaba ko ang cellphone at nagpasalamat ulit kay Phoenix.

Nagmamadaling nagpunta ako sa pinto palabas baka kasi makita pa ako nila mommy. Before I could get out of there, hinarang ako ng dalawang bodyguard.

“Miss Andi, saan ka pupunta?”  Tanong ng isang bodyguard.

“I’m just going to get some fresh air. I’ll be back.”  I smiled at them. 

“Inutos ni ma’am Olivia na sundan ka namin kaya sasama kami.”  Sabi ng bodyguard.

“This is not fair! Why are you treating me na parang prisoner! I just want some fresh air!”  I complained. I feel like crying right now. I want to see Tristan so bad.

“Sorry, miss Andi, ginagawa lang namin ang trabaho namin.”  Sabi nila. Paano kami makakapag-usap ni Tristan kung nakasunod sila sa akin? Masama ang loob na lumabas ako sa ballroom habang nakasunod ang dalawang bodyguard. Bumaba ako sa may lobby ng hotel at nakita ko agad si Tristan. He smiled nang magtama ang mga mata namin. Oh God, I miss him. Bago siya nakalapit I nodded my head as a sign na hindi siya pwedeng lumapit. Naintindihan naman niya agad iyon. 

Umupo siya sa couch ng lobby. Lumapit ako sa kinauupuan niya and I sat at the other end of the couch. He’s so close yet so far. Nakatayo ang dalawang bodyguard sa likod ko at binabantayan ako. We have to act like we don’t know each other when all I wanted to do was hug him. 

“Excuse me, miss, ano’ng oras na?”  Tanong niya sa akin.

Hindi ko naiwasan ang mapangiti when he talked to me. Tumingin ako sa wrist watch ko.  “It’s 9:30.”

“Ang tagal naman ng girlfriend kanina pa ako naghihintay dito.”  He said habang nakatingin sa malayo. I wanted to laugh. Ang galing pa lang umarte ng mahal ko.

“I’m sure dadating din yun. Or baka nandito na siya, hindi lang kayo magkita.” I said.

“Siguro nga. Teka, ako nga pala si Jose… Jose Rizal?”  Sabi niya. Hindi ko na napigilan ang tawa ko.

“O, bakit natatawa ka? Hindi ako nagbibiro. Jose… short for Joseph, Joseph Rizal.”  Painosenteng sabi niya. He really is good.

“Okay, Joseph Rizal. Nice to meet you. I’m Miranda Cordova.”  I held out my hand to him in offer of a handshake. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. His touch sent electricity bolts through my entire body. God know kung gaano ako nagpipigilan na yakapin siya.  “Babaero ka rin ba, parang si Jose Rizal?”

“Hindi ’no! Mahal na mahal ko ang girlfriend ko at hindi ko siya kayang lokohin. Saka maghahanap pa ba ako ng iba, eh ang ganda-ganda at ang sexy ng mahal ko.”  Sabi niya. Kinikilig ako pero ayokong makahalata ang mga bodyguards. I had to take a deep breathe. Andi, act normal, act normal!

“You’re girlfriend is so lucky to have a boyfriend like you.”  I said, smiling.

“Ako ang maswerte sa kanya. Bihira ang babae na katulad niya. Biruin mo, sa dinami-rami ng lalaki sa mundo ako pa ang napili niya.”  Sabi niya.

I couldn’t keep the smile off my face sa mga sinabi niya.

“Ikaw? May boyfriend ka na ba?”  Tanong niya.

“Yes. Sayang nga wala siya dito ngayon. I really miss him.”  I faked a sigh.

He patted my shoulder.  “Sigurado ako miss na miss ka na din nito. Kahit ako kung magkakaron ng girlfriend na katulad mo, palagi kitang mamimiss.”

“Ikaw ah! Akala ko ba loyal ka sa girlfriend mo?”  I teased.

He grinned.  “Sabi ko KUNG ikaw ang girlfriend ko.”

“Excuse me, miss Andi. Pinababalik na po kayo ni ma’am Olivia sa ballroom.” The bodyguard interrupted.

“S-sige, I have to go na.” Malungkot na paalam ko sa kanya. I don’t want to leave yet but I have to.

Pinilit niyang ngumiti.  “Til we meet again.”

“Wait for me.”  I mouthed when the bodyguards weren’t looking. Tumango siya.

I got up from the couch at naglakad pabalik sa ballroom and the bodyguards were still following. Pagkapasok ko pa lang sa ballroom sinalubong na ako ni mommy.

“Darling, Jason and his parents wanted to see you.”  Sabi ni mommy and she grabbed my hand. Binawi ko sa kanya ang kamay ko at napaurong.

“Mom… Ayokong makita si Jason.”  Sabi ko. I don’t want to see that asshole.

“Andi!”  Pinandilatan ako ng mata ni mommy.  “Don’t make a scene here!”

Hinawakan niya ng mahigpit ang kamay ko at kinaladkad ako.

“Andi, nauubos na ang pasensya ko sa iyo. Pakitunguhan mo ng maayos si Jason at ang mga magulang niya.”  Mahinang sabi ni mommy. 

“Olivia, is that Andi?” May lumapit sa amin na isang babae.

Ang kaninang nakasimangot na mukha ni mommy ay napangiti.  “Yes, my baby. Andi, this is your tita Meredith. Say hi to her.”

“H-hi.”  Matipid na sabi ko. 

Tinignan ako ng masama ni mommy bago humarap sa lady.  “I’m sorry, she’s just shy. Mahiyain kasi yan.

“You don’t have to be shy, I’m going to be your future mother-in-law.”  The woman said. She and mom both laughed. 

“I can’t wait for our kids to get married.”  Sabi ni mommy. I will NOT marry Jason, over my dead body! Gusto ko isigaw sa kanila iyon.  “Nasaan na nga ba si Jason?”

“I’m right here, tita.” Naglakad palapit sa amin si Jason. Humalik siya sa pisngi ni mommy. Then he looked at me, he took my hand and kissed it. Katulad ng ginawa niya noong una kami magkita.

“Hi, my lady. Good to see you again.”  Sabi niya sa akin. I’m not you lady! I belong to Tristan!

 “It took as almost two months na mahanap siya. It turns out nasa rest house lang pala namin siya sa Palawan.”  Dahilan ni mommy.

“Salamat naman at walang ginawang masama ang gagong lalaking iyon sa’yo.”  Sabi ni Jason. Nagngitngit ako sa galit! How dare he na tawagin si Tristan na gago! Mas gago siya!

“Siya wala, ikaw meron.” Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

“Andi, what are you talking about?” Tanong ni mommy.

“Why don’t you ask Jason?”  I said. Mom looked at him.

“I’m sorry, tita. I must have scared her nang halikan ko siya. That won’t happen again.”  Hingi niya ng tawad sa mommy ko. Liar! You tried to rape me!

“My Andi is just so innocent.”  Sabi ni mommy humarap sa akin si mommy.  “It’s ok na halikan ka ni Jason. He’s going to be your husband anyway.”

I didn’t say a word anymore. Naiinis ako kina mommy at Jason. I sat at the table with my mom, Jason’s mom and dad and Jason. My dad’s busy with his business partners at sa mga politician na mga friends niya. 

Naghihintay sa akin si Tristan sa baba. I don’t want to be here. I want to be with him. Sana matapos na ito.

“Andi, kinakausap ka ng tita Meredith mo.”  Untag ni mommy.

“Huh?” 

“Sabi ko, you should spend some time together with Jason. Para naman makilala niyo ang isa’t isa. Gusto mo bang pumunta sa bahay namin sa Tagaytay? Maganda ang view doon.”   Nakangiting sabi ni tita Meredith.

“No, thank you, tita.”  I politely said. Lumingon-lingon ako sa paligid, looking for Phoenix. Nakita ko siya with  Estella, she’s the president’s daughter. Agad akong tumayo sa table.  “Excuse me.”

“Where are you going, Andi?” Tanong ni mommy.

“Sa powder room.”  Sabi ko. But instead of going to the powder room, pinuntahan ko si Phoenix. 

“Hey, I hate to bother but I have to talk to Tristan.”  Bulong ko kay Phoenix. 

Tumalikod siya sandali kay Estella. Binigay sa akin ni Phoenix ang phone niya.  “Here, sa’yo muna yan.”

“Salamat talaga, Phoenix. Salamat, salamat!”  Paulit-ulit na sabi ko. Agad akong pumunta sa bathroom at tinawagan si Tristan.

“Tristan!”  Agad na tawag ko when he picked up the phone.

“Mahal ko, miss na miss na kita. Kanina pa kita gustong yakapin at halikan.”  Sabi niya.

“I miss you, too. Pumasok ka sa ladies’ room d’yan sa lobby. Pupunta ako d’yan, ok?”  Sabi ko. For sure, hindi ako masusundan ng bodyguards sa loob ng bathroom.

“What? Baka may makakita sa akin.”  Sabi ni“ya.

“Just hide sa stall. I’ll be there.” 

“Okay, sige. Dalian mo.”  Pagkasabi niya ay binaba ko na ang phone.

Lumabas ako ng bathroom at pumunta sa exit ng ballroom. As I was expecting sumunod na naman ang mga bodyguards.

“Miss Andi, saan na naman kayo pupunta?”  Tanong ng bodyguard.

“Sa ladies’ room.”  Sabi ko.

“Bakit sa baba pa? Meron naman ditong CR?” 

“Maraming tao! I really have to pee na!”  Dahilan ko. Wala na silang nagawa kung hindi sumunod sa akin habang nagmamadali akong bumaba sa lobby. I went to the ladies’ room at walang tao doon.

“Tristan…” Mahinang tawag ko.

Bumukas ang isang stall at lumabas si Tristan doon. He hugged me tight.

“Sobrang na miss kita, mahal ko.”  Sabi niya habang nakayakap sa akin.  “Akala ko hindi na kita makikita.”

Ikinulong niya ang mukha ko sa mga palad niya at hinalikan ako sa lips. It was a very passionate kiss. We had to stop kissing because we were both gasping for breath. He put his forehead against mine and looked me in the eyes.

“Ang ganda mo ngayon, mahal ko.”  Sabi niya.

“You look handsome as always, Joseph Rizal.”  I giggled.

He pinched my nose. Pareho kaming natawa ng maalala ang nangyari sa lobby kanina.

I stopped laughing and stared at his face. “Make love to me.” 

“Ngayon?”  Gulat na tanong niya.

“Yes… But we have to be quick. Naghihintay sa labas ang mga bodyguard.”

Isinandal niya ako sa wall and kissed me savagely. I can feel the longing in his kiss. I opened my mouth, inviting his tongue in. I moaned as his tongue explored my mouth. Madaling naibaba ni Tristan ang damit ko and he pulled down my bra cups revealing my breasts. He caressed my breast and gently squeezed it. 

He stopped kissing me on the lips and went down my neck. Napakapit ako sa leeg niya.

“Oh, Tristan…”  I moaned when he pinched my nipple. I can feel his hot tongue on my neck. Humigpit ang pagkayakap ko sa leeg niya.

His tongue trailed down my breast. He licked around my nipple and took it in his mouth. Licking and sucking on them while his hand fondles my right breast. He did that alternately.

Nang magsawa siya, lumuhod siya sa harap ko at pinagapang ang kamay niya pataas sa hita ko. He pulled down my panties and palmed my womanhood. I bit my lower lip when his finger traced my slit. I opened my legs wider.

“You’re so wet, mahal ko.”  Tumingala siya sa akin. His eyes were clouded with desire.

He opened my folds with his fingers. He slid his finger in and out of me while his thumb massage my swollen bud.

“Oh God! Please, Tristan… Please, please…”  I whimpered. I can’t take it anymore. He immediately stood up. Dinala niya ako sa tapat ng sink, pinakapit niya ako and made me bent over. Itinaas niya ang dress ko at ibinaba ang jeans niya.

H e slowly slid his thick shaft inside me. He began to thrust slowly all the way in and all the way out. This is torture!

“Faster…”  I moaned. He grabbed my hips and pumped in and out of me. Gumapang ang isa niyang kamay sa harap ko. He played with my clit. He went deeper and faster with every thrust. 

“Ahh… Andi…”  He groaned. I can feel that familiar sensation building inside me.   “Come for me, Andi.”

All of a sudden I felt this warm, liquid flowing inside me. My body began to shake and my legs went weak. He pulled out his shaft. Napayakap ako sa sink.

I could feel the hot liquid dripping down my inner thigh. Hinatak ako ni Tristan patayo at niyakap ako. Then he kissed me on the forehead.

“I love you.”  I whispered.

“Love you, too.” 

Nagulat kami pareho sa katok ng pinto.  “Miss Andi…”

I rolled my eyes and sigh.  “Just a minute! Palabas na ako!”  I shouted. Tumingin ako kay Tristan.  “I have to go.”

I fixed myself and kissed him one more time bago ko siya iniwan.

Chapter Twenty

Pagkalabas pa lang ng ladies’ room I’m already missing Tristan. I wanted to run from these two bodyguards that has been following me. Hindi ko alam kung paano na ulit kami magkikita pagkatapos nito. Pasimple kong pinunasan ang nangingilid na luha sa mata ko. I know he’ll find a way, hindi hahayaan ni Tristan na magkahiwalay kami.

“What took you so long, darling?”  Salubong sa akin ni mommy ng bumalik ako sa party.

“Ang haba kasi ng pila sa powder room.”  Dahilan ko. Hindi pa ako nakakaupo, lumapit na sa akin si Jason. 

“Wanna dance?”  Tanong ni Jason.

I rolled my eyes.  “No, thank you.”

“Darling, dance!”  Sabat ni mommy. She even pushed me kay Jason.  “Have fun. Huwag kang KJ.”

Napilitan akong sumama sa kanya. Hinila niya agad ako sa dance floor. He took my hands and wrapped it around his neck the place his hands on my waist. He looked at my face and I felt uncomfortable kaya I looked away. God! Sana matapos na ito. I can’t wait to get away from this guy.

“Ang laki ng iginanda mo mula ng huling beses na magkita tayo. That was two months ago, right?”  He asked. It was pretty obvious that he was trying to make conversation.

“Yes. Thank you.”  I said with a straight face.

“I guess I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for what happened two months ago. I had a little too much to drink. Kaya nga mabilis ako napatumba ng lalaking sumuntok sa akin pero kung hindi ako nakainom, I would have beat that motherfucker’s ass.”  May halong inis sa boses nito.

I  ‘accidentally’  stepped on his foot.  Mahinang napa-aray ito and I apologized. Ang yabang yabang ng lalaking ito. Hmp! Hindi ka uubra sa mahal ko.

“We should go out sometime. You know, get to know each other. Bago man lang tayo magpakasal.”  Sabi niya.

Pakasal, your face! I’ll only marry one man and that is my boyfriend.  “I’ll be honest with you, ayaw kong magpakasal sa’yo. We don’t have to do this, we don’t have to get married.”

He laughed.  “Kailangan, Andi. Kailangan kong makuha ang mamanahin ko sa mga magulang ko. Kailangan ko na din bumuo ng sarili kong pamilya at sa tingin ko naman magiging mabuti kang asawa at ina ng mga magiging anak natin.” 

“No! I don’t love you. We don’t love each other…”  Sabi ko. Si Tristan lang ang gusto ko maging husband at maging daddy ng mga anak ko. Iniisip ko pa lang na ikakasal ako kay Jason gusto ko na umiyak.

“I don’t believe in love.”  Simpleng sagot niya.

“I want to sit na.”  I coldly said. I can’t stand being around him anymore. Kahit ano sigurong pakiusap ko magmumukha lang akong tanga. Tinanggal ko ang mga kamay ko sa leeg niya. Instead of letting me go he pulled me closer to him. Magkadikit na ang katawan namin.

“Ano ba?”  I punched his chest.

“I just want the sex and the money.”  He chuckled.

Oh God! Hindi ako nakapag-react ng halikan niya ako sa labi. I was shocked. Nang makabawi, mabilis ko siyang itinulak at sinampal ng malakas sa mukha. It caught other people’s attention. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. 

“Andi…”  Lumapit si mommy sa amin. Her face was expressionless. She grabbed my hand at dinala ako sa sulok kung saan walang tao.  “Why did you do that? Nakakahiya sa tita Meredith mo.”  Galit na sigaw niya.

  “Binastos niya ako!”  I shouted back.

“What did he do to you?”  Biglang lumapit si daddy. 

Sinimangutan ko si mommy at napayakap kay dad. Salamat at may kakampi na ako.  “That jerk kissed me!”

“It’s just a kiss, Miranda! Hindi mo ikamamatay iyon. Besides, magiging asawa mo rin siya.”  Sabi ni mommy.

“Eh, sa kung ayaw magpahalik ng anak ko. Hindi mo pwedeng madaliin ang lahat, Olivia.”  Nagtaas na ng boses si dad.

“I wanna go home, dad.”  Tumingala ako kay daddy. Gusto ko ng lumayo dito. Kay mommy, kay Jason. Sumasakit lang ang ulo ko.

Dad took a deep breathe. Tinawag niya ang bodyguard.  “Ihatid niyo na si Andi.”

“Yes, sir.”  Halos magkasabay na sagot nila.

Sinundan nila ako palabas ng ballroom. Dumaan kami sa lobby and I saw Tristan sitting there, still waiting. Nagtama ang mga mata namin, my eyes started to water. Bumagal ang paglakad ko. I wanted to stop and run to him but I know I can’t do that. Ako na ang unang nagbaba ng tingin. Mabigat ang dibdib na lumabas ako. 

Tristan’s POV

Wala akong magawa kung hindi sundan lang ng tingin si Andi habang naglalakad siya palayo. Parang ang lungkot-lungkot ng mga mata niya. Gusto ko siyang yakapan pero hindi pwede. May mga nakasunod sa kanyang bodyguard. I wish I could do something. 

Bumaksak ang balikat ko. Uuwi na naman ako sa apartment ng wala si Andi. Matutulog mag-isa sa kama. Mabibingi lang ako sa katahimikan sa kwarto ko habang pinipilit matulog. Nahilamos ko sa mukha ko ang palad ko. Pesteng buhay ’to! Minsan na nga lang magmahal, ganito pa ang nangyayari! 

“Dude!”  Napalingon ako at nakita kong papalapit si Phoenix. Nakaakbay sa kasama niyang babae. Agad kong namukhaan kung sino iyon, paanong hindi eh anak iyon ng Presidente. Si Estella Buendia.

Tinanguan ko lang siya.

“Si Estella nga pala. Estella, kaibigan ko si Tristan.”  Pakilala ni Phoenix. 

“Hi.”  Nakangiting sabi nito.

“Nagkita na kayo ni Andi?”  Tanong nito.

“Oo, kakaalis lang niya.”  Malungkot na sabi ko. Napakunot ang noo ko. Magkakilala sila ni Andi. Pareho sila ng apeylido. Si Andi at Phoenix ay parehong Cordova! Nabuhayan ako ng loob. Ibig sabihin alam niya din kung saan nakatira si Andi. Pero may mangyayari ba, hindi naman ako pwedeng pumasok doon? Saka ko na iisipin ang mga iyon! Ang mahalaga malaman ko kung nasaan ang mahal ko.  “Tulungan mo naman ako, Phoenix.”

Kumunot ang noo niya.  “Tulungan saan?”

“Alam mo naman siguro kung saan ang bahay nila Andi. Baka naman pwede mo akong tulungan mapuntahan siya.”  Pakiusap ko.

Sandaling natigilan si Phoenix. Nagpalit-palit ng tingin sa akin at sa kasama niyang babae. Maya-maya ay may dinukot ito mula sa bulsa niya. 

“Here’s the key to my condo. Mauna ka na.”  Sabi ni Phoenix sabay abot ng susi kay Estella. 

“But, love…”  Lumabi si Estella.

“Kung ayaw mo sa ibang araw na lang-”

“Sige na nga, magpapahatid na lang ako sa driver ko. Bilisan mo, hihintayin kita.”  Kinuha nito ang susi at umalis na.

“Tara na.”  Aya niya.

“Salamat, dude.”  Nakangiting sabi ko.

“Ganyan ka kalakas sa akin. Muntikan pa akong mawalan ng chicks ngayon gabi.”  Natatawang sabi niya.

Sumunod ako sa kanya sa parking lot at sumakay sa kotse. Sinimulan niya na paandar iyon. Ilang minuto pa ay huminto na kami sa tapat ng malaking bahay.

“Bahay na ba ito nila Andi?”  Tanong ko kay Phoenix.

Tumango ito.

Tumapat kami sa gate ng malaking bahay, may nagbabanta doon na dalawang guard. Nilapitan kami ng isa at ibinaba ni Phoenix ang bintana.

“Sir, ano po ang kailangan nila?”  Tanong ng guard.

“Pwede bang pumasok? Kailangan kong makausap si Andi.”  Sabi ni Phoenix.

Napakamot ng ulo ang guard.  “Pasensya na po. Mahigpit na ipinagbibilin ni sir at ma’am na huwag magpapapasok ng bisita ni ma’am Andi.”

“Pinsan ko siya.”  Anya.

“Hindi po talaga pwede, sir. Kung  gusto niyo hintayin niyo na lang si sina sir Harold.”  Sabi ng gwardya.

Pinaandar ulit ni Phoenix ang kotse at ipinarada sa gilid ng mansyon.

“Na kay Andi pa rin ang phone ko. Tawagan mo kaya siya.”  Sabi nito.

Mabilis kong kinuha ang telepono ko sa bulsa. Tinawagan ko ang number ni Phoenix at ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko nang mag-ring iyon. Tatlong beses itong tumunog bago may sumagot.

  “Andi?”  Ako.

“Mahal ko.”  Basag ang boses na sabi niya. Alam kong umiiyak siya ngayon.

“Mahal ko, nasa labas ako ng bahay niyo.”  Sabi ko.

“Ha?”  Gulat na sabi niya.  “Ano’ng ginagawa mo dito? B-baka makita ka nina mommy at daddy.”

“Gusto kitang makasama, mahal ko. Miss na kita.” 

Narinig ko ang paghikbi niya.  “I-I m-miss you, too.”

Napatingin ako sa bintana ng kotse at tinitigan ang mataas na pader na nakapalibot sa kanilang bahay. Talunin ko kaya yan. Kaya naman siguro! Basta para ka Andi kakayanin ko.

“Mahal ko, nasaan ka?”  Tanong ko.

“N-nasa kwarto.”  Sagot nito.

“Nasaan parte ang kwarto mo?” 

“Why?”

“Basta sagutin mo na lang.”

“S-sa left side.” 

“Papasok ako d’yan. Sumilip ka sa bintana mo para makita kita agad.”

“What?”  Gulat na sigaw nito.

“Pupuntahan kita d’yan.” 

“H-how?” 

“Aakyat ako sa bakod niyo. May nagbabanta ba sa labas ng binatana mo?”

“W-wala. B-but what if makita ka nila?”

“Bahala na. Basta hindi ako tutunganga dito at hahayaan kang tuluyan na mawala sa akin, naiintindihan mo?”  Sabi ko.

Narinig ko ang paghikbi niya.  “Y-yes. I love you.”

“Mahal na mahal kita, Andi.”  Pagkasabi ay ibinaba ko na ang telepono.

“You would really do that?”  Tanong ni Phoenix.

“Oo naman.”  Sagot ko.

“You’re crazy, man.” Naiiling-iling na sabi ni Phoenix.

“Ganyan talaga pag nagmahal ka. Kahit ano’ng kabaliwan gagawin mo.”  Sabi ko.

“Ang baduy mo na.”  Tumawa ito.

“Parang hindi mo din naranasan ito. Nagkaganito ka rin naman kay Cassie. Mas baduy ka p-”

Biglang nawala ang ngiti sa labi nito at nag-iwas ng tingin. Bakas ang pagka-irita nito sa mukha. Oops! Foul… Ayaw na ayaw niyang nababanggit si Cassie, marinig nga lang niya ang pangalan ng ex niya umiinit na ang ulo niya. Sa lahat ng naka-relasyon niya, si Cassie lang talaga ang sineryoso niya pero nalaman niyang niloko pala siya nito. Ilang taon na ang nakakaraan ngunit nakikita ko na hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin siya maka-move on.

“Pasensya na, dude.”  Mahinang sabi ko.

Nagsalubong ang kilay niya.  “Para saan? Wala na sa akin iyon, tapos na yun.”

Tinapik ko siya sa braso.  “Salamat, dude. Bababa na ako, kailangan ko na i-rescue ang prinsesa ko.”

Tumango ito.  “Good luck!”

Bumaba ako ng kotse at naglakad papunta sa kaliwang bahagi ng mansyon. Tumingin-tingin muna ako sa paligid. Mahirap na at baka may makakita. Nang masiguro kong walang tao tumalon ako. Magaling ako sa mga ganito. Aba! Kahit kailan hindi pa ako nahuli ng mga pulis tuwing may drug raid noong nagbebenta ako ng droga dahil magaling akong umakyat at magsisiksik kung saan saan. Nakailan talon ako bago ako nakakapit sa taas ng mataas na pader at pilit kong inangat ang sarili ko hanggang sa makatungtong na ako. Maingat akong bumaba sa kabilang side.

Nakapasok na ako sa loob at ngayo’y nasa isang malawak na hardin. Agad kong nakita si Andi na nakatayo sa balkonahe at nakakapit lang sa bakal habang nakatingin sa malayo.

Dahan-dahan akong lumapit doon at tumingala sa kanya.

“Andi.”  Mahinang tawag ko sa kanya.

Nagpalingon-lingon siya sa paligid na tila hinahanap ako.

“Dito sa baba.”  Sabi ko at nagbaba siya ng tingin.

Nagliwanag ang mukha niya ng makita ako.  “Mahal ko…”

Paano ba ako makakaakyat sa kanya? Ang taas-taas ng balkonahe. Nagpalinga-linga ako sa paligid at nakita ko ang puno malapit sa doon.

“Sandali lang.” Paalam ko sa kanya.

“Teka, w-where are you going?”  May pag-aalalang tanong niya. Hindi ko na siya sinagot. Lumapit ako sa puno at inakyat iyon. Naupo ako sa sanga ng punong iyon.

Nanlaki ang mata ni Andi ng makita ako.  “B-baka mahulog ka.”

“Tatalon ako d’yan. Tabi ka.”  Sabi ko.

“What? No…. no!”  Takot na sabi nito. Maingat akong tumayo.  “T-tristan, baka mahulog ka! Tristaaan!”

Tumalon na ako mula sa puno at salamat sa Diyos hindi ako nahulog. Bumagsak ako sa balkonahe ni Andi. Agad niya akong niyakap at sumiksik sa dibdib ko.

“You idiot! Paano kapag nahulog ka. Hindi ka talaga nag-iisip.”  Mahina niyang hinampas ang dibdib ko.

Yumakap din ako sa kanya at hinalikan ang noo niya.

“Baka may makakita sa atin.” Bumitaw siya sa pagkayakap at hinatak niya ako sa loob ng kwarto niya. Ang laki ng kwarto niya, halos kasing laki na yata ng apartment ko. Pati ang kama niya doble yata ang laki ng kama namin. Punong-puno ng stuffed toys sa ibabaw nun. Meron pa siyang maliit na sofa at tv. May dalawang bookshelf na punong-puno ng libro. Dito panigurado ako siya ang pinagsisilbihan. Malayong-malayo ang buhay na kinalakihan niya sa buhay na ibinigay ko sa kanya noong nasa puder ko siya.

Humugot ako ng malalim na buntong hininga. Ito ang buhay na mawawala sa kanya kapag binawi ko siya sa mga magulang niya at ano ang kapalit? Kahirapan. Gusto ko siyang bigyan ng magandang kinabukasan ngunit kahit gustuhin ko may magagawa ba ako? Mahirap lang ako. Yumakap siya mula sa likod ko.

“Ano’ng iniisip mo?” Tanong niya.

“W-wala.”  Sagot ko.

“Bakit ang seryoso mo bigla?”  Hinalikan niya ako sa batok.

Umiling lang ako bago ako humarap sa kanya at niyakap siya.

“T-tristan, m-may sasabihin ako sa’yo.”  Mahinang sabi ni Andi. Parang natatakot siyang sabihin sa akin.

“Ano yun?”

“K-kanina sa party… Jason kissed me.”  Sabi niya. Biglang sumimangot ang mukha ko. Ang walanghiyang iyon!  “I… Hindi ko ginusto iyon, I swear. Nagulat ako bigla na lang niya akong hinalikan sa lips.”  Halos maiyak na ito habang nagpapaliwanag sa akin. 

Kinabig ko siya palapit sa akin at mahigpit na niyakap. 

“Don’t be mad at me Tristan. Hindi ko talaga iyon ginusto.”  Sabi niya.

Hinawakan ko ang baba niya at itinaas ang mukha niya.  “Alam ko at hindi ako galit sa’yo.”

“T-thank you, mahal ko.” Ngumiti na ito. 

Bumaba ang labi ko sa kanya at binigyan siya ng mainit at malalim na halik. Pareho kaming naghahabol ng hininga ng maglayo ang mga labi namin.

  “Sino mas magaling humalik sa aming dalawa?”  Tanong ko. Nakaramdam pa rin ako ng konting selos at insecurity sa kabila ng mga sinabi sa akin ni Andi.

“Ano bang klaseng tanong yan, mahal ko! Syempre ikaw! No contest.”  Nakasimangot na sagot niya.

Napangiti ako.  “Ang sungit mo. Nagtatanong lang naman.”

“I don’t want to be kissed by any man other than you.”  Lumabi siya at isinubsob ang mukha sa dibdib ko.

Chapter Twenty One

“Gusto ko na umuwi sa atin, mahal ko.”  I looked up at him and pouted. I really miss our home. Mas gusto ko doon kaysa dito. Kung nasaan si Tristan, doon din ako. I don’t want to go back to my old life. Mas masaya ako kapag kasama ko si Tristan.

“Sigurado ka na ba talaga?”  He asked. I could see the worry in his eyes as he said it. It’s like he’s wishing i’d say no.

“Y-you don’t want me to go with you?”  I’m trying hard not to cry. God, what if he doesn’t want me back anymore?

“Andi, baby…”

“Magpapakabait naman ako, Tristan. Promise! 

Hindi ko na pasasakitin ulo mo. I can cook na naman di ba? Saka… saka marunong na din ako maglinis ng bahay. I’ll try to be better in bed.“

“Ikaw ang iniisip ko, mahal ko. Tignan mo nga ang buhay mo dito sa buhay natin doon. Hindi ka ba nahihirapan?”

“Hindi naman ako nahihiharapan. Mas nahihirapan ako kapag malayo ka sa akin. I’m willing to give up everything makasama lang kita.”  I sobbed.

“Shhh… mahal ko, tahan na. Ayaw kong nakikita kang umiiyak.”  He rubbed my back and kissed me on the forehead. I looked up at him and smiled. Tonight has been an emotional rollercoaster. I’m just glad I’m in his arms right now. I grabbed his head and pulled him to my lips. The kiss gets more intense by the second. He moves his mouth, deepening the kiss.

I felt myself walking backwards hanggang sa mapahiga na ako sa kama. He got on top of me and crash his lips to mine.

“I want you, Tristan…”  I mumbled against his lips. He stared into my eyes and nodded. He continued kissing me, he pushed his tongue inside my mouth and explores it. I caught it in between my teeth and sucked on it, he groaned into my mouth. He tastes of mint and alcohol. Oh god, I could kiss him forever.

Hiniwalay niya ang lips niya sa akin. He lifted the hem of my dress at ibinato ang damit ko. The he took off his shirt and his pants and underwear. All I could do is stare at his naked body in awe. His thing, his thing is so big and hard. My throat went dry. I sat up and carefully took his length in my hands. I kissed the tip of it and I heard him gasp a little.

“A-andi…”  He moaned. I hope hindi ako pumalpak. I just read it sa internet. I started sucking on his tip, gently. I moved my head, taking more of him inside my mouth. Oh my god! I don’t think kaya ko ipasok ng buo iyon. He’s so big! I felt his hand travel slide down my butt. He massaged it for a moment bago niya ibinaba. His hand went inside my panties and his fingers played with my slit. I could feel myself getting even more when. His other hand unhooked my bra and started massaging my breast. I whimpered as he slips a finger inside me. He pumped it in and out of me, hard and fast. It felt so good. But it wasn’t enough. I want him to fill me up with this huge thing in my mouth.

“T-t-tama na, mahal ko…”  He pulled my head up and kissed me.

I slowly pulled out from the kiss.  “Y-you didn’t like it?”

“I loved it.”  He smiled then ibinaba niya ang underwear ko. He pulled me and ikinandong niya ako patalikod sa kanya. He opened my legs and slowly insert his manhood inside me. I could feel my walls stretching around him. All I could do was moan and scream his name. He grabbed the back of my thighs and lifted me up and down his shaft.

“I’m almost… there…”  I moaned.

“Ako din, hintayin mo ko.”  He whispered in my ear.    He licked, kissed and nibbled the back of my neck.  I felt that familiar knot in my stomach. 

“Mahal ko, ayan na ako.”  He moaned. He did one final thrust and I felt his warm liquid inside me. I released myself around him. Napasandal ako sa kanya, his manhood still inside me. We were both panting as we tried to catch our breath.

“Andi, honey!”  I heard mom’s voice. Bago pa ako nakagalaw, the door opened. Shoot! I forgot to lock the door. Mom was smiling when the door opened pero nawala ang ngiti niya ng makita kami. Mom’s mouth dropped and her eyes widen. It all felt like a dream… no, a nightmare. Pareho kaming hindi nakagalaw. It took a few seconds before Tristan pulled the blanket beside us and covered our body. I got off on top of him at naupo sa tabi niya.

“W-what is this?”  Nanginginig ang boses niya when she finally spoke. Her eyes began to water.  “What is this, Andi! Who is he?!”  Sigaw niya.

Nagbaba ako ng tingin. I could feel my heart beat against my chest and my body shaking uncontrollably. Naramdaman siguro iyon ni Tristan kaya kinuha niya ang kamay ko at pinisil.

“Answer me, goddammit! Who the fuck are you?”  Tumingin siya kay Tristan. Her eyes were raging with anger.

“A-ako po si Tristan, b-boyfriend ako ni Andi.”  He said, nervously.

Mom places her hand over her forehead. Tears started to fall from her eyes. Naramdaman kong namasa na rin ang mga mata ko. Lumapit siya sa akin at hinatak ako patayo sa kama. I clutched the blanket to my naked body. Tumayo si Tristan at nagmamadaling isinuot ang pantalon.

“Hindi kita pinalaki para maging puta ng lalaking iyan!”  Sigaw niya before hitting me across the face. She grabbed a handful of my hair at paulit-ulit niya akong sinampal.  “Walanghiya ka! Malandi ka! Dito pa sa pamamahay ko. Hindi ka na nahiya!”

Tristan hugged me at inilayo ako kay mommy. Sinalo niya lahat ang mga sampal.  “T-tama na po.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

“Isa ka pa! Hayop ka! Lumayo ka sa anak ko! Lumayo ka!”  Pinagsusuntok niya ang likod nito.

“Ano’ng nangyayari dito?”  Biglang pumasok si daddy sa kwarto.

“Ayan! Tanong mo d’yan sa malandi mong anak at sa lalaki niya!”  Umiiyak na sabi ni mommy bago nanghihinang napasandal sa wall. Napaiyak na lang ako sa dibdib ni Tristan.

“Ano bang nangyayari? Sino yan?”  Tanong ni daddy habang nakatingin sa amin.

“I caught your daughter having sex with that man!”  Si mommy.

Sumugod si daddy at itinulak si Tristan palayo sa akin. He punched Tristan in the face at napasigaw ako.

“Daddy… daddy don’t!”  I screamed. Sinubukan kong pigilan si daddy pero tinulak niya ako at napaupo ako sa sahig. Isinandal niya si Tristan sa pader at pinagsusuntok siya. Tristan didn’t fought back.

“Gago ka! Ang lakas ng loob mo! Hindi mo ba alam na kaya kitang ipapatay ngayon din!”  Sabi ni daddy habang walang tigil na pinagsusuntok si Tristan.

“Dad, no! Tama na! Please, tama na!”  Pagmamakaawa ko. He didn’t stop throwing punches hanggang sa mapahiga na si Tristan sa sahig. I saw the blood coming out of his nose and mouth.

Nagpasukan ang mga bodyguard ni daddy sa kwarto dahil sa mga sigawan. 

Dad grabbed Tristan’s hair at inangat ang ulo niya.  “Hindi mo ba alam kung sino ako ha? Tandaan mo itong mukhang ito, ako ang papatay sa’yo.”

“Tama na, dad.”  Napayakap ako kay Tristan.  “Tama na… tigilan mo na siya.” 

He just laid there coughing up blood. Lalo akong napaiyak at niyakap siya ng mahigpit.

“Bakit, Andi? Bakit ginagawa mo sa amin ito?”  Sabi ni dad.

“I-I’m sorry, dad. I’m so sorry.”  Humihikbing sabi ko.

“Itapon niyo na yan, hayop na yan.”  Utos niya sa mga bodyguard. Tumalikod na si dad.

“S-sasama ako sa kanya.”  Sabi ko.

Napahinto siya at lumingon sa akin.  “Mamili ka, kami o ang lalaking iyan?” 

“Dad…”  I sobbed.

“Mamili ka!” 

“Dad, I’m sorry… sasama ako sa kanya.”  I said.

“Simula ngayon, wala na akong anak. Kalimutan mo na rin kami at huwag ng huwag ka nang babalik dito.”  Sabi ni dad bago tumalikod at lumabas ng kwarto. Mom stared at me bago sumunod kay daddy.

Naiwan kami ni Tristan. I lifted his head at inuna ko sa lap ko. I put my forehead on him and started crying.

“S…sorry, A-andi.”  Hirap na hirap na sabi niya.

Napailing ako.  “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I love you.”

“I-I lo-ve you.”  Pinilit niyang ngumiti. I cupped his face and kissed him on the lips. Balang-araw sana mapatawad din kami ni mommy at daddy.

Chapter Twenty Two

Hanggang ngayon I couldn’t stop crying habang pinupunasan ko si Tristan. Naaawa ako sa mahal ko. Puro pasa ang katawan at mukha niya dahil sa suntok ni daddy. Nakahiga siya sa kama at pinupunasan ko ng basang bimpo ang mukha at katawan niya.

Tandaan mo ito, Miranda. Darating ang araw na gagapang ka pabalik sa amin.  Hindi pa rin matanggal sa isip ko ang sinabi ni dad before he threw us out of the mansion. I know nasaktan ko din si dad. I understand why he’s mad at us. Masakit din para sa akin itong mga nangyayari. It will be worth it in the end. I know it will.

Napasubsob na lang ako sa dibdib ni Tristan at napaiyak. Gumalaw siya and I heard him moan. Lumayo agad ako at pinunasan ang luha ko. Tristan opened his eyes.

“Mahal ko.”  Tawag niya sa akin. I cupped his face and kissed him on the forehead.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Ok na. Kiniss mo na ako eh.”  Nakangiting sabi niya. Napangiti na rin ako. His fine now. Nambobola na kasi ulit.

“May masakit ba sa’yo?”  Nag-aalalang tanong ko.

“Dito masakit.”  He pointed at his chest.  “Kiss mo din para mawala ang sakit.”

I giggled.  “You’re so naughty.”

“Seryoso! Ang sakit talaga. Mamamatay na yata ako eh. Kiss mo na dali!” Hinawakan pa niya ang chest niya. I rolled my eyes, I decided to play along and kiss his chest.

“Yan! Better?”  Tanong ko.

“Dito pa pala… Saka dito.”  Tinuro niya naman ang belly niya at ang crotch niya.

Pinalo ko siya ng mahina sa dibdib. Gosh, nabugbog na nga’t lahat ganun pa din ka pervert.

“Aray! Masakit na talaga iyon, mahal ko.”  Sabi niya habang hinihimas.

“Ikaw naman kasi. Puro ka kalokohan.”  Tumabi ako sa kanya. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to his body.

“Hindi ka ba nagsisisi na pinili mo ako?”  Seryosong tanong niya.

“Never. Maybe… maybe someday matatanggap din nila tayo. Basta I will never leave you. Kung nasaan ka, nandoon din ako.”  My eyes met his.

His eyes were watery but he had a smile on his face. “ Ako na ang pinakaswerteng lalaki sa balat ng lupa dahil ako ang minahal mo. Gagawin ko ang lahat para mapasaya ka. Hindi mo pagsisisihan na sumama ka sa akin.“

 We laid together in silence for a long time just staring at each other. He played with my hair with his fingers. I can hear his heart beat against his chest. I softy touch his lips. May pasa sa gilid ng lips niya but it didn’t make it any less sexy. He playfully bit my finger and suck on it. He stared at me sexily and I just lay staring back at him. I’m starting to feel hot all over.

 Parang napasong binawi ko ang kamay ko. He just chuckled. Kinabig niya ang ulo ko para halikan sa cheek.  “Ang sarap sarap talaga ng mahal ko.”  He gave me small kisses sa cheek pababa sa neck ko.

“T-tristan naman.”  Nakikiliting sabi ko. I tried to push his head away.  “H-hindi pa m-magaling a-a-ang s-ugat m… Oh god! S-stop nakikiliti ako.”  I cried when he licked my earlobe. I pushed him away… and I think I pushed him a little too hard. Napa-aray siya.

“Ang sakit, mahal ko. Malakas ka rin pala sumuntok parang daddy mo.” Pabirong sabi niya.

I know he was only kidding but everytime I remember his face while daddy was beating him up naiiyak pa rin ako. “I-I’m so sorry, Tristan.”

“Hey, don’t cry. Nagbibiro lang naman ako.”  Sumeryoso siya.

“I’m sorry for what my dad did to you.”  I sobbed.

“Napaka-iyakin talaga ng mahal ko. Tapos na yun. Tahan na.”  He wiped my tears with his hands.

“You didn’t fight back. Why?”  I quietly said.

“Dahil nirerespeto ko si dad. Syempre, future father-in-law ko yun at saka kung hindi dahil sa kanya wala ka ngayon sa tabi ko.”  He grinned.

Napangiti na lang din ako. I love that his always so positive. It just fascinates me… his ability to laugh everything off.  He pulled me back to him. 

“Good morning, mahal ko.”  I lightly touch his cheek. Gumalaw siya at umungol pagkatapos ay tinakpan niya ang mukha niya ng pillow.

“Gising na…”  Hinatak ko ang unan at ipinalo sa kanya.

“Ow!”  Daing niya. He opened his eyes and looked at me squinty eyed.  “Ang ganda ng panaginip ko ginising mo ako.”  He said with raspy voice.

“Breakfast in bed.”  Kinuha ko ang plate na nakapatong sa bedside table at umupo sa gilid ng kama. Umupo din siya at sumandal sa headboard. Hinati ko ang hotdog at tinusok ng fork pagkatapos inilapit ko iyon sa bibig niya.  “Eat.”

Sinubo niya naman iyon. I fed him like a baby. 

“Ano bang napaginipan mo?”   Tanong ko.

He grinned.  “Napaginipan ko may ka-threesome akong dalawang magandang babae. Ang hot nga eh!”

Napasimangot ako. Padabog kong ibinaba ang plate sa bedside table. Gosh, kahit panaginip lang niya iyon I couldn’t help but feel jealous.  “Feed yourself! And I hope you choke to death.”

Bago pa ako makatayo he quickly grabbed me by the waist and pulled me.  “Pikon talaga itong mahal ko. Nagbibiro lang ako.”  He said laughing before sniffing my neck. Then he rested his head on my shoulder.  “Napaginipan ko ang isang batang babae na naglalaro sa playground tapos tumakbo siya palapit sa akin habang sumisigaw na daddy. Kinarga ko siya, lumapit ka sa amin at hinalikan mo ako at ang anak natin. Tapos yung nga… ginising mo na ako.”

“Mahal ko…”  Nakangiting sabi ko. Parang may butterflies sa tiyan ko.

“I can’t imagine my future without you, Andi. Ikaw ang babaeng gusto ko makasama habang buhay pati pa sa kabilang buhay.”  He chuckled. Then he cleared his throat sumeryoso ang mukha niya.  “Mahal ko, pakasal na tayo.”

I gasped.  “I-is this for real? You’re proposing?”  Hindi ako makapaniwala sa sinabi niya.

“Yes, I think I am. Wala pa akong singsing na maibibigay sa’yo pero pangako bibili ako.”  Sabi niya.

I turned my head to face him and kissed him on the lips.  “I’ll… marry… you…”  I said between kisses.

Makalipas ang ilang araw pumunta kami sa munisipyo para kumuha ng marriage license. I’m really excited. Malapit na akong maging Mrs. Tristan Gonzales. And I’ll have his babies and will live happily ever after. Parang sa mga romance novels na nababasa ko. 

“Miranda!”  Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa akin. Si Judge Danilo Ruiz, he is daddy’s good frien  “What are you doing here, hija?”

“We went here to get a marriage license.”  Masayang sabi ko.  

Kumunot ang noo niya at tumingin kay Tristan.  “Hindi ba ikakasal ka na kay Jason de Veyra? Who’s this guy?”

“H-he’s the guy I’m going to marry.”  Sabi ko at humigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay ni Tristan.

Napailing siya.  “Kailangan muna malaman ng daddy mo ito. I’m going to call him.”

“No, please don’t tell daddy.”  Pakiusap ko.

“I’m sorry, Miranda. You’re father would kill me kapag nalaman niyang hinayaan kitang magpakasal ng hindi niya nalalaman.”  Sabi niya. “Kapag pumayag siya I would let you have your marriage license.”

Pumasok siya sa office niya. Tristan and I waited outside. Hinihintay namin siya gaya ng sabi niya. Tinignan lang ako ni Tristan at dinala niya ang kamay ko sa mga labi niya. I gave him a smile. Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto lumabas si ninong sa office niya.

“I’m sorry, Miranda. Hindi pumayag si Harold.”  Sabi ni ninong.

“I don’t understand, ninong. Nasa legal age na kaming dalawa. Why can’t we get married?”  I asked. What was I expecting? Alam ko naman hindi papayag si daddy.

“I don’t think you understand how powerful your father is, Miranda.”  Sabi ni ninong habang nagpalit-palit ng tingin sa amin.  “I better go now. Oh and good luck, you two will need it.”

Hindi pa rin ako sumuko. Nagpilit pa rin kami kumuha ng marriage license but we were denied. Naiiyak na ako habang lumalabas kami sa munisipyo. Hindi naman nagsalita si Tristan. He was quiet the whole time.

Huminto kami sa isang simbahan. Nang papasok na kami, he made me stop sa pinto. 

“D’yan ka lang, mahal ko.”  He said smiling. I don’t know what’s going on in his mind. Ano na naman ba ang trip ng lalaking ito?

“Boy!”  Sinenyasan niya ang isang batang lalaki na nagtitindi ng bulaklak. Lumapit naman ito. Bumili siya ng tatlong red roses.

“Hawakan mo ito.”  Utos niya sa akin. Hinawakan ko naman ang mga roses.  “Tuloy pa rin ang kasal natin. Imagine mo na lang may music habang naglalakad ka.”

Tumakbo siya sa dulo malapit sa altar. Natawa na lang ako. This is so romantic and sweet. I slowly walked down the aisle just like a real bride. I imagined I was wearing a long white gown tapos may music. Nang makalapit ako sa kanya he took my hand and we went to the altar together.

Dumukot siya sa pocket niya at inilabas ang dalawang singsing. It was made of real gold at simple lang ang design. My jaw dropped. Hindi ko akalain na may totoong wedding ring siyang dala.

“Do you, Miranda Cordova, take me, Tristan Gonzales, to be your lawfully wedded husband?” He said in a serious tone. 

“I do.”  I said, smiling from ear to ear.

“Do you promise to love and cherish me, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, for as long as you live?” 

“I do.”  Sagot ko ulit. Binigay niya sa akin ang singsing at isinuot ko iyon sa daliri niya.

I cleared my throat and tried to keep a straight face.  “Do you, Tristan Gonzales, take me, Miranda Cordova, to have and to hold until death do us part.” 

“I do. Not even death can do us part.”  Sabi niya. Then he slipped the ring on my finger. 

“We may now kiss.”  Nakangiting sabi niya. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips.

“I love you.”  Sabi niya nang magkahiwalay ang mga labi namin.

“I love you, too.” 

“Hindi natin kailangan ng marriage certificate, papel lang naman iyon. Sapat ng nangako tayo sa harap ng Diyos dahil mas matibay iyon. Hindi iyon napupunit, nasisira o nasusunog. You’re my wife now.”  He said. 

“And you’re my husband!”  In my heart he is… forever! Tama ang sabi niya. Mas matibay ang vow na binitawan namin ngayon sa harap ng Diyos. 

“Yes, baby. At ano’ng susunod pagkatapos ng kasal?” Nakangising sabi niya.

“Kainan!” 

He sighed.  “Fine, smart ass. Saan mo gusto kumain?”

“Sa carinderia nila aling Beth.”  Sabi ko.

“Let’s go.”  He playfully slapped my butt. 

“Oh! Ang naughty mo talaga. Nasa church pa tayo.”  I reminded him.

Humarap siya sa altar at nag-sorry siya. He grabbed my hand at hinatak ako palabas ng simbahan.

Chapter Twenty Three

Tristan’s POV

Nagising ako na nakayakap kay Andi. Ang sarap talagang magising sa tabi ng mahal ko. Sinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa buhok niya at hinatak ang hubad na katawan niya papunta sa akin. Binigyan ko siya ng maliliit na halik sa buhok pababa sa leeg niya. Hinawi ko ang ilang hibla ng buhok na nakatakip sa mukha niya at hinalikan ko siya sa pisngi. Maingat akong bumangon at bumaba sa kama. Nagluto ako ng almusal namin at kumain na ako. Baka kasi mamaya pa magising si Andi dahil alam kong napagod iyon kagabi, nakailang round ba naman kami kagabi. Tinirhan ko na lang siya ng almusal at naligo na ako. Pagkatapos maligo pumasok ulit ako sa kwarto para magbihis. Ang himbing pa rin ng tulog mahal ko. Nagsuot ako ng pantalon at simpleng puting tshirt. Umupo ako sa gilid ng kama para isuot ang medyas ko.

Biglang yumakap si Andi mula sa likod ko at hinalikan ako sa batok.  “Good morning, husband.”

“Good morning, wife.”  Nakangiting sagot ko bago ko hinarap ang ulo ko sa kanya. 

“I love you.”  Malambing na sabi niya.

“I love you more.”  Sabi ko.

“I love you most.”  Humagikgik si Andi.

“I love you times infinity.”  Syempre hindi ako magpapatalo.

“I love you times infinity plus one.”  Hinawakan niya ang magkabilang pisngi ko at hinalikan ako sa labi. Hinila niya ako hanggang mapahiga siya sa kama at mapadagan ako sa kanya.

“Mahal ko, may pasok ako ngayon.”  Habol hiningang sabi ko ng maghiwalay ang mga labi namin. Tinitigan niya ako sa mga at kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi niya. Nilaro niya ang buhok ko gamit ang daliri niya. Andi is starting to enjoy sex. Minsan siya pa nga ang nanglalambing sa akin katulad ngayon. 

Hindi ko naman kayang tiisin ang mahal ko. Sumisikip na rin kasi ang pantalon ko. Hinalikan ako ni Andi sa dulo ng ilong ko at ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko. Hinayaan kong dumampi ang mga labi niya sa akin pababa sa labi ko. Tinugon ko ang halik niya at naglakbay ang mga kamay ko sa hubad na katawan niya. Pinulupot ni Andi ang mga hita niya sa baywang ko.

“Mmm…”  Ungol ni Andi ng dumampi ang mga daliri ko sa pagkababae niya. Ibinuka niya ang mga hita niya upang mas malaya kong mahawakan iyon. It was a quick lovemaking session. Kahit madalian sinigurado ko naman na nasarapan din siya. Nagmamadali kong ipinasok ang junjun ko sa loob ng pantalon at tinaas ang zipper.

“Late na ko, mahal ko.”  I wish I could stay in bed the whole day with her. Kaso hindi pwede. Kailangan kong magtrabaho para sa kinabukasan namin ni Andi. Sisikapin ko maging karapat dapat kay para sa kanya. Hindi man ako mayaman sisiguraduhin ko naman na mabibigay ko lahat ng aking makakaya.

She smiled lazily.  “Bye, mahal ko. Ingat ka.”

Yumuko ako para halikan siya sa noo.  “Tinirhan kita ng almusal.”

“Thank you, mahal ko.”  She said.

“The pleasure is mine.”  Kinindatan ko siya at ngiti ang isinagot niya. Nagpaalam na ako at umalis na.

“Tristan, kailangan kitang makausap.”  Pormal ang mukhang bungad ni Ted sa akin pagpasok ko pa lang sa studio. Kinabahan ako. Kahit kailan hindi ko nakitang ganito kaseryoso si Ted. Sinundan ko siya at pumasok kami sa opisina niya.

“Ano’ng problema?”  Nag-aalalang tanong ko.

Inabot niya sa akin ang puting envelope.  “Ito na ang huling paycheck mo.”

“Ano? Nagbibiro ka ba?”  Gulat na sabi ko. Ilang taon na ako nagtatrabaho sa studio na ito at parang nakatatandang kapatid na ang turing ko kay Ted. Bakit naman bigla bigla yata ang pagsisante niya sa akin. Ang alam ko hindi pa naman na lulugi ang studio at walang balak si Ted na isara yun.

“Dinagdagan ko na yan. Pasensya na, Tristan.”  Hindi ito makatingin ng diretso. Nakayuko ang ulo niya sa sahig.

“Bakit biglaan naman yata?”  Tanong ko.

“May mga lalaking pumunta dito noong isang araw. Tinakot nila ako na kapag hindi daw kita tinanggal sa trabaho susunugin nila ang studio. Nireport ko na nga sa mga pulis pero ang sabi sa akin sumunod na lang daw ako sa gusto ng mga lalaki para hindi na ako maperwisyo. Nahihiya ako sayo, Tristan, ang tagal na natin magkasama pero may pamilya akong binubuhay.”  Paliwanag ni Ted.

Isa lang ang alam kong pwede gumawa nun. Ang mga magulang ni Andi. Pinilit kong ngumiti at tinapik ko ang braso niya.  “Naiintindihan kita.”

“Salamat, pare.”  Ngumiti na rin siya. Nagpaalam na kami sa isa’t isa.

Kinuha ko na ang mga gamit ko at nagpaalam na rin ako kay Cholo. 

“Parekoy, huwag mo kong kalilimutan ah.”  Madramang sabi nito. Yumakap siya sa akin.  “Mamimiss ka namin. “

“Sige na, aalis na ako.”  Paalam ko at sinubukan kong kumawala sa pagkayap niya. Lalo lang humigpit ang yakap ni Cholo.

“Ikaw ang pinakamagaling na photographer para sa akin.”  Sabi niya. 

“Oo na, pakawalan mo na ako.”  Natatawang sabi ko. Bumitaw na si Cholo.

“Basta parekoy, kapag kailangan mo ng tulong alam mo kung saan kami makikita.”  Maluha-luhang sabi niya. Pinipigilan kong huwag matawa sa sobrang OA ni Cholo.

“Good luck sa paghahanap ng bagong trabaho.”  Sabi ni Ted.

Nginitian ko sila at tumango bago ako tumalikod. Nabura ang ngiting iyon paglabas ko ng studio. Ginagawa ng mga magulang ni Andi ito para pahirapan kami. Sinuklay ko ang aking mga daliri sa buhok ko. Kailangan kong makahanap agad ng trabaho. Hindi sana’y si Andi sa hirap at wala akong balak iparanas sa kanya iyon.

Nagpunta agad ako sa iba’t ibang studio para mag-apply. Kung hindi hiring sinasabi nila na tatawagan na lang nila ako. Magagabi na rin kaya naisipan ko na umuwi.

“Mahal ko.”  Masayang bati sa akin ni Andi at niyakap ako. I hugged her back tightly. I didn’t want to let go of her. Nawala agad ng takot at pagod ko ng yakapin niya ako.

“May problema ba?”  Humiwalay siya sa pagkayakap at tinitigan ako.

Pinilit kong ngumiti at umiling.  “Wala naman.”

She smiled back.  “Hulaan mo kung ano’ng ulam natin!”

“Ano?” 

“Sinigang na baboy! Tinuruan ako ni aling Nelia magluto.”  Pagmamalaki niya. Si aling Nelia ay isa sa mga kapit bahay namin na madalas kakuwentuhan ni Andi.

“Baka naman ginawa mo nang kanin baboy yan ah.”  Biro ko pa.

Tumulis ang nguso niya.  “Hindi kaya! Masarap ang luto ko, promise.”

“Mas masarap sa akin?”  Tanong ko.

“Syempre hindi.”  She giggled.

“Tikman na nga natin yang luto mo.”  Aya ko sa kanya.  “Mamaya ikaw naman ang titikman ko.”  Bulong ko sa tainga niya. 

Kinurot niya ako sa pisngi.  “Perv!”

 

Isang buwan na ang lumipas ngunit wala pa rin akong naririnig ni isa mula sa mga inapplyan ko. Nag-apply na nga ako kahit sa mga fast food restaurants hindi pa rin ako matanggap-tanggap. Graduate ako sa Ateneo de Manila pero hindi ako matanggap kahit service crew?! Sigurado na talaga ako na may kinalaman dito ang mga magulang ni Andi.

Hanggang ngayon din hindi ko pa masabi kay Andi ang totoo. Umaalis ako araw-araw para maghanap ng trabaho. Nauubos na ang huling sweldong ibinigay ni Ted sa akin sa pang-araw-araw na gastusin at ang iba ay napunta sa renta ng apartment at bill ng kuryente’t tubig. Hindi ko na nga ginagamit ang motorsiklo ko sa tuwing aalis ako para makatipid din sa pang gas. Binebenta ko na nga iyon kaso wala pang buyer. Buong araw ako naglalakad para maghanap ng trabaho kaya pagod na pagod ako pag-uwi ko.

Lalong lumalaki ang takot sa dibdib ko sa bawat araw na dumadaan. Sanay ako sa wala pero si Andi hindi. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako kukuha ng pera. Minsan hindi ko na maiwasan ang panghinaan ng loob pero naisip ko hindi pwede. Hindi ko isusuko si Andi. Hindi ko susukuan ang babaeng kahit kailan ay hindi sumuko sa akin.

“Bakit gising ka pa?”  Naalimpungatan na tanong ni Andi.

“Wala. Gusto lang kita panoorin.”  Sagot ko.

Napangiti siya. Yumakap siya sa akin at muling nakatulog. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo sa kama at nagtungo sa cabinet kung saan ko nilagay ang natitirang pera. Nilabas ko iyon at binilang ko. Three hundred pesos. Gaano ba kalayo ang mararating ng perang iyon? Hindi ko na napigilan ang mapaluha. I’m so fucking mentally exhausted. Mauubos na ang natatanging perang meron ako at hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin alam kung saan ako kukuha ng pera.

Kailangan ko na sabihin kay Andi ang totoo. Iniiwasan kong sabihin sa kanya iyon dahil ayokong pati siya mamroblema. Hindi ko na pwedeng itago dahil mauubos na ang pera namin. Baka lalo siyang magulat kapag isang araw wala na kaming makain.

Katulad ng mga nakaraang gabi, hindi ako masyadong nakatulog ng gabing iyon. 

“Good morning. Maaga ka na naman nagising.”  Nakangiting sabi ni Andi. Hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko.  “You really are getting thinner.”

“Imagination mo lang yun.”  Dahilan ko para hindi na siya mag-alala. Noong mga nakaraang araw iyon palagi ang napupuna ni Andi sa akin. Paano ba naman buong araw ako hindi kumakain. Nakakakain lang ako sa tuwing aalis ako ng bahay at pag-uwi ko sa gabi. Kailangan magtipid at saka wala rin naman akong gana.

“I told you di ba? Kumain ka ng madami.”  Nakasimangot na sabi niya.

“Kinakain namin kita ng madami ah.”  I joked.

Kinurot niya ako sa tagiliran.  “That’s not what I meant. Kumain ka ng food. Ang dirty talaga ng mind mo.”

“Ah ok.”  Patay malisyang sabi ko. Kinuha ko ang isang kamay niya at dinala sa mga labi ko.  “Mahal ko, may sasabihin ako sa’yo.”

“What?” 

“Isang buwan na akong walang trabaho.”  Pagtatapat ko.

Nagulat ito sa sinabi ko at ilang sandaling hindi nakapagsalita.  “Then where do you go pag umaalis ka everyday?”

“Araw-araw akong naghahanap ng trabaho pero kahit saan ako mag-apply hindi ako natatanggap.”  Paliwanag ko.

“Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi?”  Tanong niya.

“Ayokong pati ikaw mamroblema. Problema ko iyon kaso… kaso hindi ko akalain na hahantong sa ganito na wala na halos tayong pera. Akala ko makakahanap din ako ng trabaho. Kahit saan ako magpunta hindi ako matanggap-tanggap.”  Sabi ko.

“You’re my husband. Your problem is my problem.”  Sabi niya.  “Mahal ko, you should have told me una pa lang. Tutulong naman ako eh, I’ll find a job too.”

“Ako ang lalaki, ako dapat ang nagtatrabaho at bumubuhay sa’yo.”  Sabi ko.

“This is the 21st century.”  She rolled her eyes.

“Andi, hindi kita isinami dito para pagtrabahuin lang.” 

“But  I want to help.”

“Makakahanap din ako ng trabaho.”

“Paano pag naubos na ang pera natin?”

“Hahanap ako ng paraan.”

“I think dad has something to do with this.”  Mahinang sabi niya.

“Alam ko.”

“I’m sorry.”  Naiiyak na sabi niya.

“Huwag kang humingi ng sorry. Wala kang kasalanan.”  Sabi ko.

“I’ll talk to him. I’ll ask him to stop.”

“Hindi!”  Mariin na sabi ko.  “Hindi ka magmamakaawa sa kanya, Andi. Ipakikita natin sa daddy mo na kahit anong gawin niya hindi niya tayo masisira.”

Matagal siyang hindi nakakibo at parang malalim ang iniisip.

“Kung nahihirapan ka na sabihin mo lang sa akin. Hindi ako magagalit kung babalik ka sa kanila. Maiintindihan kita. Basta alam mo naman na nandito lang ako hindi ba?”  Nag-init ang sulok ng aking mga mata.

“I’ll never leave you! Di ba nag promise tayo… till death do us part.”  Ngumiti siya kahit namamasa na ang mga mata niya. 

Mas lalo akong naging pursigidong ipaglaban si Andi. Malalagpasan din namin ito. Magsasawa din ang daddy niya sa panggugulo sa amin. May mga maliliit na trabaho naman na hindi masyado binibigyan pansin ang resume. Yung mga hindi na kailangan i-check ang background.

Chapter Twenty Four

Hindi pa rin ako sumuko sa paghanap ng trabaho. Nag-apply na ako sa mga maliliit na kumpanya, wala naman hiring ngayon. Pagminamalas ka nga naman! Napailing na lang ako habang naglalakad sa kahabaan ng kalye. Kanina pa ako naglalakad at tinitiis ang tindi ng sikat ng araw. 

Tumawid ako sa kalsada at hindi ko namalayan ang paparaan na kotse. Narinig ko na lang ang maingay na pagbusina nito at kasunod nun ang pagbunggo sa may hita ko. Hindi naman masyadong malakas ang pagkabangga sa akin pero masakit. Napaupo ako at napahawak sa parteng nabangga ng kotse.

“Are you alright?”  Tanong ng isang pamilyar na boses. Tumingala ako sa kanya at hindi agad ako napagsalita ng makita ko kung sino ang may-ari ng boses na iyon.

“Tristan?”  Gulat na sabi niya. Ilang taon na mula ng huli kaming magkita. 

“Meredith.”  I said. Ilang taon na ang nakakaraan pero parang hindi pa rin nagbabago ang itsura niya. Maganda pa rin at mukha pa rin siyang bata sa edad niya.

“Okay ka lang ba?”  May pag-aalalang tanong niya.

“Oo.”  Pinilit kong tumayo at paika-ikang naglakad.

“Sandali, Tristan.”  Hinawakan niya ako sa isang kamay para pigilan ako. Lumingon ako sa kanya.  “Ihahatid na kita sa pupuntahan mo.”

“Maglalakad na lang ako.”  Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kamay niyang hawak ko. Parang nahiya naman na binitawan niya ito.

“I insist. That’s the least I can do.”  Sabi niya. Hindi ko na nagawang tumanggi pa dahil masakit talaga ang hita ko. Siya ang nagdrive ng kotse at umupo ako sa passenger’s seat.

“Kamusta ka na?”  Tanong niya habang nakatuon ang paningin sa kalsada.

“Okay naman.”  Sagot ko.

“That’s good. Ang laki ng pinagbago mo.  You look even hotter than the last time I saw you.”  She giggled.

“Salamat.”  Iyon lang ang nasabi ko.

“Masyado ka naman pormal. Para naman wala tayong pinagsamahan niyan.”  Sabi niya sa akin.  “Naglunch ka na ba?”

“Hindi pa.”  Sagot ko.

“Halika, lunch tayo.”  Aya niya.

“I think I’ll pass.”  Sabi ko. 

“Come on, Tristan. Ngayon lang nga tayo nagkita ulit. Pagbigyan mo na ako.”  Malambing na sabi niya.

“Dith, baka may makakita sa atin.”  Sabi ko. Ayoko na ng gulo. Muntikan na akong mapatay ng asawa niya ng malaman niya ang relasyon namin noon. Tinakot lang siya ni Didith na kapag pinatay niya ako ilalabas niya lahat ng baho ng asawa niya sa publiko kaya heto ako ngayon at humihinga pa rin.

“Hindi naman nila tayo kilala at wala naman tayong masamang ginagawa.”  Sabi niya. Iniliko niya ang kotse niya sa isang restaurant na nadaanan namin. Bumaba kami at pumasok kami sa restaurant.

Nag-order siya ng pagkain.

“Married?”  Ngumuso siya sa singsing na nasa daliri ko.

Ngumiti ako.  “Yes.”

“What a lucky girl.”  Sabi niya.  “May anak na kayo?”

“Wala pa sa ngayon. Ikaw, kamusta na ang marriage mo?”  Ako naman ang nagtanong sa kanya

Parang batang lumabi ito.  “Ganun pa din. We don’t love each other anymore. I feel like our marriage is just for show.” 

“Bakit hindi na lang kayo maghiwalay?”  Tanong ko.

Malungkot na umiling si Didith.  “He won’t let me go.” 

Madalas niyang sabihin sa akin noon na hindi siya masaya sa asawa niya. Kabi-kabila ang babae nito at madalas ay napapagbuhatan pa siya ng kamay.  

“Enough about me.”  She forced a smile.  “Saan nga pala ang lakad mo ngayon.”  Pag-iiba niya.

“Nag-iikot-ikot lang ako. Naghahanap ng mapapasukang trabaho.”  Sabi ko.

Gumapang ang isang kamay ni Didith sa kamay kong nakapatong sa mesa.  “I could help you with that.” 

Mabilis kong binawi ang kamay ko.  “Hindi iyon ang trabahong hinahanap ko.”

“I’m sorry.”  Nagbaba siya ng tingin.

“Kailangan ko ng umalis.”  Paalam ko sa kanya. 

“Hahatid na kita.” 

“Hindi na. Malapit lang naman dito ang pupuntahan ko.”  Tanggi ko.

“Sandali lang.”  Sabi niya at dumukot siya sa bag niya.  “Here’s my calling card. I hope we can keep in touch and be friends.”

Kinuha ko ang calling card at pinasok sa bulsa ko. Nagpasalamat ako sa kanya at nagpaalam na. 

Andi’s POV

“Hi, aling Nelia.”  Bati ko ng makasalubong ko ang neighbor namin. Bumili kasi ako sa labas ng ulam namin para mamaya. Padating na rin si Tristan.

“Nagustuhan ba ni Tristan ang luto mo?”  Tanong niya sa akin.

“Opo. Sarap na sarap nga po siya.”  Nakangiting sabi ko. Napansin ko ang plastic bag na hawak niya.  “Ano po yan?”

“Ah, labada. Magpapalaba sana ako kay mareng Juana eh ayaw naman magpa-istorbo sa sugal.”  Kibit-balikat na sabi niya.

“I can do it for you.”  I said.

“Sigurado ka?” 

I happily nodded my head. Ito na ang chance ko para makatulong kay Tristan. I can’t just do nothing habang nagpapakapagod sa paghanap ng trabaho. Binigay sa akin ni aling Nelia ang bag na hawak niya. 

Pumasok ako sa apartment and I started doing the laundry. Tinuruan na ko ni Tristan na maglaba kaya I already know what to do. Kaso he made me stop nang makita niyang may sugat ako sa kamay since then siya na ang naglalaba ng mga damit namin. So what kung magsugat ang kamay ko? I wont die naman ah.

I started doing the laundry. Nilabhan ko talaga ng mabuti ang mga clothes para walang masabi si aling Nelia. It’s really hard pala. Nakakangawit sa kamay at masakit na ang back ko.

I heard the door open. My face suddenly lit up, I knew it’s Tristan na. 

“Mahal ko, ano’ng ginagawa mo?”  Tanong niya ng makita ako.

“Naglalaba.”  Sabi ko. Tumayo ako at pinunas ang mga bubble sa damit ko. I walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Kalalaba ko lang nung isang araw.”  Kunot ang noong sabi niya.

“I’m doing aling Nelia’s laundry. Binayaran niya ako ng 150 pesos.”  I said.

 Tristan sighed.  “Andi, you don’t have to do this.”

“Di ba I told you I’ll help. Magtutulungan tayong dalawa.”

“Mahal ko, wala ka bang tiwala sa akin?” Nagtatampong sabi niya.

“Hindi naman sa ganun. I just wanna help. I know nahihirapan ka na, look at you nangangayayat ka na. Did you eat ba kanina?”  Tanong ko sa kanya. Pinagdala ko siya ng 100 hundred pesos kanina pang kain niya. Nung una ayaw pa niya kunin kasi ayaw niyang mabawasan ang natitirang pera namin. I’m worried na sa sobrang pagtitipid niya baka magkasakit pa siya. Gosh, I’m too young to be a widow!

“Oo naman. Basta sabi mo, sinusunod ko.”  He kissed the tip of my nose.  “Nagkita kasi kami kanina ng kaibigan ko tapos inaya niya akong maglunch.”

“Really? Kilala ko ba siya?”

“Nope.”

“Girl or boy?”  I asked.

“Babae.”  Sagot niya. Nakaramdam ako bigla ng selos pero hindi ko pinahalata sa kanya.

“I have to get all these laundry done.” Dahilan ko.   Bumitaw ako sa pagkayakap.  “Eat ka na. Bumili na lang ako ng pagkain sa labas kanina.”

“Nagseselos ba ang mahal ko?”  Nakangising tanong niya.

“I’m not jealous.”  Tumalikod ako sa kanya.

He hugged me from the back.  “Wala kang dapat ipagselos dahil ikaw lang ang mahal ko. Ikaw ang pinakamaganda, pinakasexy at pinakamabait na babae para sa akin.”

Kinikilig na napangiti ako at humarap sa kanya.  “Talaga?”

“Promise.”  He smiled and rubbed his nose against mine.

“Okay, I believe you na.”  I said, giggling. 

“Good. Ako na tatapos niyang mga labahin.”  Sabi niya.

“Kaya ko ’to. You’re tired na. Mag-eat ka na and then get some rest.”  I said to him.

He took both my hands at tinignan niya iyon.  “Tignan mo nga itong kamay ko nagsusugat na.”

“It’s reddish lang but wala naman sugat.”  I took my hand back.

“I’m sorry, mahal ko. Hindi ka dapat nahihirapan ng  ganito.”  His eyes were full of sadness.

“Stop worrying about me, ok? Hindi ako nahihirapan.”  I assured him. He should be more worried about his self. He’s abusing his body.

“Basta ako na tatapos ng mga labahin.”  Pilit niya. I tried to stop him pero mapilit siya. He did the laundry. Pinagsampay niya na lang ako ng mga damit. 

We ate dinner and took a bath together after that.

Nasa room na kami ngayon. Nakadapa si Tristan sa kama exposing his naked sexy butt. We always sleep naked. I don’t bother putting on my pajama anymore, hinuhubad din naman kasi niya. Tinanggal ko ang tuwalya ko at inilagay sa sabitan. 

Umupo ako sa gilid ng kama. 

“Massage?”  Tanong ko.

“Yes, please.” He murmured.

I started his neck and back. Agad naman siyang na relax.

“Sit on my back.”  He said. I did what he told me to do, I sat astride his back. Nagpatuloy ako sa pagmassage sa kanya. I could feel the heat of his body against my female part.

“Oh fuck, you’re so wet.”  Tristan said. Of course nararamdaman niya iyon sa back niya. I bent my head down and gave him small kisses on his back. I grind myself on his back soaking him with my juice. Oh God, it feels so good.   

“Uh… mahal ko! You’re making me hard.”  He groaned.

Umikot siya at humiga paharap sa akin. Now I’m sitting on his stomach. He was staring at me. His eyes were dark and intense.  “Such a tease.”  He chucked.

He pulled my head down to his and kissed me on the lips. His warm tongue slowly penetrated my mouth, flicking against mine. All I could do was moan in satisfaction.  We were gasping for air when our lips parted.

I took his hard shaft in my hand and positioned it at my entrance. He groaned when I slowly lowered myself on to him. Soft moans escape my lips as I start moving my hips up and down. He sat up and kissed my lips. His lips traveled down to my neck, collarbone and to my breast. He licked around my nipple and took it in his mouth. He grabbed my other breast with his hand and played with it.

“T… tristan.”  I moaned his name. He sucked harder. I felt that familiar heat building up in the pit of my stomach. Lalo kong binilisan ang paggalaw. Tristan thrusted his hips upward.  “T-tristan, I’m coming.”

“Me too. Come for me, babe.”  He growled. 

We both came together. Tristan collapsed on the bed. Tumabi ako sa kanya at sumiksik sa side niya. He hugged me and kissed me on the forehead.

I woke up wala na sa tabi ko si Tristan. I feel so dizzy, ang sakit sakit ng buo kong katawan. I think I’m coming down with something. Gosh! This is the worst time to be sick. Wala pa kaming pera ni Tristan. I tried to get up kahit nahihilo ako. 

Nagsuot ako ng damit at nagpunta sa medicine cabinet kung saan nakalagay ang mga gamot. Uminom na lang ako ng paracetamol. I was ok naman last night. I don’t know what happened. I just went back to bed again. 

Suddeny I felt like I was going to vomit. I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom as fast as I could and threw up. Hinang-hina ako pagkatapos nun. I was literally crawling papunta sa bed.

Chapter Twenty Five

Hindi na masama ang pakiramdam ko ng gumising ako. Nag work na siguro ang ininom kong paracetamol. I found Tristan lying beside me, asleep. Ang aga naman umuwi ng mahal ko. I touched his face.

He slowly opened his eyes and smiled when he looked at me.  “Napasarap yata tulog ng mahal ko.” 

“S-sorry, I didn’t feel good kanina kaya I went back to bed.” 

Kumunot ang noo niya at umayos ng upo.  “Bakit? Ano bang nararamdaman mo? Masama pa rin ba ang pakiramdam mo?”  Nag-aalalang tanong niya.

“No, I’m ok na.”  I smiled and hugged him.  “Nandito ka na kasi.”

“Sabi sayo eh. Huwag ka na ulit tatanggap ng labahin.”  Sermon niya sa akin.

“Opo, tatay.”  I said laughing. Kinulong niya sa mga palad niya ang mukha ko at hinalikan ako sa lips. 

“May pera na tayo, mahal ko.”  Masayang sabi niya.

“Nakakuha ka na ng job?”   Humilig ako sa dibdib niya.

“Hindi pa. Pero may bumili na ng motor ko.”  He started kissing my hair.  “Mahal ko, huwag kang mag-alala hindi ako titigil sa paghahanap ng trabaho. Alam mo naman na hindi kita pababayaan di ba?”

“Mhm.”  I answered. Na prove na niya iyon sa akin. Never niya akong pinabayaan kahit nahihirapan na siya. I love him more because of that.  “Thank you for taking care of me.” 

“Ako nga dapat ang magpasalamat sayo. Salamat sa pagtanggap sa nakaraan ko at sa kung ano ako ngayon. Salamat dahil hindi pinaglaban mo ako sa mga magulang mo. At salamat sa pagmamahal mo.” 

“And don’t forget to thank me for the great sex.”  I joked and giggled.

Natawa din siya.  “Nagiging pilya ka na, mahal ko. I like that.”

“You do?”  My fingers danced on his chest.

“Hell yeah!”  He said before claiming my lips.

Buong araw masama ang pakiramdam ko at masakit ang katawan ko. I don’t want Tristan to worry kaya tinatago ko sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko. Umiinom na lang ako ng painkiller at paracetamol. Nawawala sandali pero bumabalik naman ulit.

 Today is different. It’s getting worst. I can barely get out of bed. My whole body feels so sore. I think may flu na talaga ako. Pinilit kong tumayo sa kama at lumabas ng kwarto para uminom ng gamot. Hinang-hina akong napaupo sa couch. Para akong nagrun ng 10 miles. 

“Mahal ko, gising ka na pala.”  Sabi ni Tristan nang makalabas sa bathroom. He was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

I forced a smile. Ni hindi ko magawang magsalita dahil sa nanghihina ako. Kumunot ang noo niya nang mahalata iyon.

“Okay ka lang ba?”  Tanong niya sa akin.

“Yeah.”

Lumapit siya sa akin.  “You don’t look okay.”

“I’m fine.”  Sagot ko.

Tinabihan niya ako at hinawakan ang mukha ko.  “Shit! Ang init mo.”

“It’s just a flu.”  Malumanay na sabi ko.

“Bakit tumayo ka pa? Halika na, I’ll take you back to bed.”  Sabi niya bago ako binuhat at dinala pabalik sa kama.

“Magluluto lang ako nang makakain mo tapos pupunta na tayong doktor, okay?”  Tristan said.

“I don’t wanna go to the doctor. Baba din itong lagnat ko.”  Katuwiran ko. 

“Huwag ngang matigas ang ulo mo. Pupunta tayong doktor ngayon pagkatapos mo kumain at uminom ng gamot.” 

“But-”

“Ayoko nang marinig yang but-but mo. D’yan ka lang magluluto lang ako ng chicken noodle soup. Tawagin mo na lang ako pag may kailangan ka.”  Pagkasabi ay lumabas na siya sa kwarto.

Pagbalik niya may dala na siyang chicken noodle soup at sinubuan niya ako. After I finished my soup pinainom niya ako ng gamot. Then we went to the hospital. The doctor just asked me questions and did some check ups on me. He said it was just a flu. Kailangan ko lang daw magpahinga, uminom nang gamot at maraming tubig.

“See? I told you it’s just a flu.”  Sabi ko sa kanya nang makauwi na kami.

“Mabuti na yung nakakasiguro tayo, di ba?”  He said before giving me a small kiss on the forehead. Inalagaan niya ako buong araw. He treated me like I’m a queen. He did everything to make me feel better. I feel really lucky for having a loving and caring husband. There is nothing more I could ask for.

Tristan’s POV

Tatlong araw na mula nang dalhin ko si Andi sa doktor ngunit hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin bumaba ang lagnat niya. Ginawa ko naman ang lahat nang sinabi ng doktor. Kahapon ko pa siya pinipilit na bumalik sa ospital pero ayaw niya. Naaawa na ako sa mahal ko. Nahihirapan akong makitang nahihirapan siya. Kung pwede nga lang ako na lang sumalo ng sakit niya.

Hinawakan ko ang noo niya. Nabahala ako nang maramdaman kong sobrang init niya ngayon. Inaapoy na siya nang lagnat.

“Mahal…”  Tawag ko sa kanya ngunit ungol lang ang naisagot niya. Napamura ako ng mahina.  “Mahal ko, pupunta na tayo nang ospital ha?”

Mabilis akong kumilos at binuhat ang nanghihinang katawan ni Andi. Tumawag ako ng tricycle para dalhin kami sa ospital. Gusto ko nang umiyak habang nakikita ko ang kalagayan niya. Para na siyang lantang gulay.

Isinugod ko siya sa emergency room. Inexamine siya nang doktor at kung anu-anong test ang ginawa sa kanya.

“Ikaw ba ang kasama nang pasyente?”  Tanong sa akin nang doktor habang nakaupo ako sa tabi ng kama ni Andi.

“Opo, doc.”  Sagot ko.

“Ayon sa resulta nang blood test niya positibo ang pasyente sa dengue. Kailangan na niyang ma-confine agad sa ICU dahil mababa ang platelet count niya.”  Sabi nang doktor.

Pumayag akong ma-confine si Andi sa ICU. Hindi ko maiwasang sisihin ang sarili ko sa nangyayari sa kanya. Kung naalagaan ko lang siya mabuti hindi mangyayari ito sa kanya. Kapag may nangyaring hindi maganda kay Andi hindi ko alam kung ano ang magagawa ko sa sarili ko. I will probably kill myself.

Sa pagconfine pa lang kay Andi nawala na ang perang kinita ko mula sa pagbenta nang motorsiklo. Hindi ko alam kung saan pa ako pwede kumuha nang pera. Kada-tatlong oras may pumupunta para i-check ang platelet count niya.

Pangalawang araw na namin sa ospital at wala pa rin improvement sa kondisyon niya. Sabi nang doktor kapag bumaba sa 30 ang platelet count niya kakailanganin niya na ng blood transfusion. Malaking halaga na naman ang kailangan para doon. 

Iniwan ko muna sandali si Andi sa kwarto at lumabas. Nagsindi ako nang sigarilyo habang iniisip ko kung paano ako kikita nang pera. Nakailang sunod-sunod na ako ng stick ng sigarilyo. Hindi ko mapigilan, natatakot ako, kinakabahan… halu-halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko.

Mabilis akong tumayo sa kinatatayuan ko ng may makaisip ako nang paraan. Dali-dali akong umuwi para hanapin ang calling card na binigay ni Meredith sa akin.  Pumunta ako sa tindahan para makitawag.

Nakatatlong ring yata bago may sumagot.

“Hello?”  Narinig ko ang boses niya sa kabilang linya.

“Didith, si Tristan ito.”  Sabi ko.

“Tristan!”  Bakas ang pagkagulat sa boses niya.  “Bakit napatawag ka?”

“Pwede ba tayong magkita ngayon?”  Tanong ko.

“Why, ofcourse.”  Agad na sagot niya.

Nakipagkita ako sa kanya sa restaurant kung saan kami huling nagkita. Alam kong hind ito tama at alam ko rin na masasaktan si Andi kapag nalaman niya ito pero tangina wala na akong choice. Buhay na ni Andi ang nakataya dito.

“So, bakit mo ako gusto makita?”  Tanong niya sa akin.

“Kailangan ko nang pera.”  Diretsang sagot ko.

“Pera lang pala eh. Alam mo naman na marami ako nun.”  Sabi niya. She lighlty touched my cheek.  “But money doesn’t grow on trees, you know?”

“Huwag kang mag-alala, pagtatrabahuhan ko ang perang iyon.”  Walang bakas ng emosyong sabi ko.

“Now, you’re talking.”  Ngumiti siya.

“Halika na. May kailangan pa akong puntahan mamaya.”  Sabi ko.

Lumabas kami nang restaurant at sumakay sa kotse niya. Hininto niya iyon sa garahe nang isang motel. Matagal ko nag tinalikuran ang trabahong ito, nangako ako noon sa sarili kong hindi na ako babalik sa ganitong uri nang hanap buhay pero ito ako ngayon.  

Nasa kwarto na kami ngayon at nakaupo ako sa gilid nang kama. Isa-isang tinanggal ni Didith ang kanyang damit sa harap ko hanggang sa tumambad sa akin ang hubad na katawan niya. Para pa rin pangdalaga ang katawan niya kahit na may edad na.

“Shower with me.”  Nang-aakit na sabi niya.

“Susunod na lang ako.”  Sagot ko.

“Hihintayin kita.”  Sabi niya bago pumasok sa banyo.

Tinanggal ko na rin ang damit ko at sumunod sa kanya.  Patawarin mo ako, Andi.

Nakatalikod siya mula sa pinto at abala sa pagsabon nang katawan. Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan siya sa magkabilang balikat. Agad naman siyang humarap sa akin at sinalubong ako nang halik. We had sex in the bathroom and on the bed. Inisip ko na lang na si Andi ang katalik ko.

“Oh lover boy…”  Nakadapa siya sa ibabaw nang dibdib ko at nakatitig sa mukha ko.  “Hindi ka pa rin kumukupas. Yan ang gusto ko sa’yo Tristan, pinaghihirapan mo ang perang nakukuha mo mula sa akin.”

Hindi ako sumagot at nagpatuloy sa paghithit nang sigarilyo. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman kung gaano kaduming lalaki ako. Andi doesn’t deserve a guy like me. She deserves someone better than me.

Pinatay ko ang sigarilyo sa ashtray at umayos nang upo.  “Kailangan ko nang umalis.”

“When can we do this again?”  Tanong niya sa akin.

Nagkibit-balikat lang ako. Inabot niya ang bag niya at may kinuha ang cheke niya. Pagkatapos niyang mapirmahan ay inabot niya sa akin iyon.

“It’s been a pleasure working with you, Mr. Gonzales.”  Nakangiting sabi niya at kinindatan niya ako.

Naligo ulit ako at pilit kong tinanggal sa katawan ko ang mga halik at hawak niya. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako haharap kay Andi pagkatapos ng nangyari sa amin ni Didith. Pagkatapos kong maligo, nagmamadali akong nagbihis at umalis sa lugar na iyon.

“Mahal ko, saan ka nanggaling?”  Mahina ang boses na tanong ni Andi. Hanggang ngayon ay nanghihina pa rin siya.

Umupo ako sa tabi niya.  “Kumusta na ang pakiramdam mo?”

 Inangat niya ang kamay niya at marahang hinaplos ang pisngi ko. Ipinatong ko ang kamay ko sa kanya at ipinikit ang mga mata ko. Pinakiramdaman ko ang init nang mga palad niya.

“I love you.”  Sabi niya.

“Mahal na mahal din kita.”  Pinigil ko ang pagtulo nang luha ko nang sabihin ko sakanya iyon. Dinala ko sa mga labi ko ang kamay niyang kanina’y nasa ibabaw nang pisngi ko.  “Mahal na mahal kita, Andi. Patawarin mo ako.”  Humagulgol ako sa mga palad niya.

“Why are you crying?”  Tanong niya.

Sunod-sunod akong umiling. Hindi na ko nakapagsalita at hinayaan kong tumulo ang mga luha ko. Hindi ko pa kayang pagtapat sa kanya ang ginawa ko sa ganitong kundisyon niya. Ayokong madagdagan ang paghihirap niya.

Bumaba pa ang platelet count niya hanggang sa kinailangan na siyang masalinan nang dugo. Anim na bag nang dugo ang isinalin sa kanya bago bumuti ang kanyang kundisyon. Nang tumaas na ang platelet count niya nalipat na siya sa regular na kwarto.

Harold’s POV

Narinig ko ang malakas na sigawan sa opisina ni Edgardo. Nagpunta ako dito para kamustahin siya at pag-usapan ang ilang bagay tungkol sa nalalapit na eleksyon. Isa sa mga maimpluwensyang pulitiko ang pamilya ni Edgardo at kailangan ko ang impluwensyang sa pagtakbo ko bilang bise presidente sa susunod na eleksyon.

“Putangina mong malandi ka! Papatayin ko kayong dalawa ng kabit mo!”  Narinig kong sigaw niya. Sumilip ako sa bahagyang uwang nang pinto at nakita ko si Edgardo na hawak-hawak ang buhok ng asawa niya.

“T-tama na, Ed. Maawa ka sa akin.”  Umiiyak na sabi ni Meredith.

Nakita ko ang malakas na pagsampal niya sa asawa niya dahilan para mapasubsob ito sa sahig. Nagpatuloy ito sa pananakit sa kaawa-awang babae. Wala naman akong magawa dahil ayokong manghimasok sa personal na buhay nila.

Bumukas ang pinto at dali-daling tumakbo palabas si Meredith. Nakayuko ito at magulo ang buhok.

“Amigo, kanina ka pa ba d’yan?”  Nakangiting tanong niya nang makita ako sa labas ng pinto. Parang wala man lang nangyari.

“Medyo.”  Sagot ko.

“Pasensya ka na. Bwisit kasi iyong malanding hinayupak na iyon.”  May bahid ng galit sa boses niya.  “Pasok ka.”  Aya niya.

Pumasok ako sa loob ng opisina niya at umupo ako sa upuan sa harap ng desk niya. Umupo siya sa swivel chair at nagsindi ng sigarilyo.

“Wala ng binigay sa akin ang walanghiyang babaeng iyon kung hindi sakit ng ulo. Hindi ko lang mahiwalayan dahil papangit ang tingin sa akin ng publiko.”  Naiiling na sabi nito. 

Napatingin ako sa litratong nagkalat sa ibabaw ng desk niya. Litrato iyon ni Meredith na may kasamang lalaki. Nakahawak siya sa braso ng lalaki habang papasok sila sa motel at halatang hindi nila alam na kinukuhanan sila ng litrato. Sa mga unang larawan hindi masyadong kita ang mukha nito. Pero nang tignan ko pa ang ibang litrato napakunot ang noo ko. Pamilyar sa akin ang mukha ng lalaking iyon. Hindi ako pwedeng magkamali. Iyon ang parehong lalaking nahuli naming kasama ni Andi sa loob ng silid niya. 

“Ano ito?”  Tanong ko kay Edgardo habang nakatingin sa mga larawan.

“Edi kabit ng asawa ko.”  kaswal na sabi niya.  “Didispatsahin ko na nga ang gagong iyan eh. Pinagbantaan ko na siya noon, walang takot ang gago. Kapag may nakakita sa kanilang ibang tao masisira ang pangalan ko.”

Sabi na nga ba oportunista ang lalaking iyon. Pinaimbestigahan ko siya at nalaman kong dati siyang nagtatrabaho bilang call boy. Hindi siya nababagay para sa anak ko. Inilagay ko siya sa blacklist sa lahat ng kumpanya para hindi na siya makapasok sa kahit anong trabaho. Naisip ko kasi na kapag walang-wala na talaga sila mapipilitan nang bumalik sa amin si Andi pero ang gago nakahanap pa rin ng pagkakakitaan.

Ang inaalala ko ngayon ay si Andi. Baka madamay ang anak ko sa gagawin ni Edgardo. Hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin silang alam na sumama siya sa ibang lalaki. Hindi ko naman magagawang sabihin sa kanya na sumama si Andi sa lalaking nasa larawan na iyon.

“Siya si Tristan Gonzales, hindi ba?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“Kilala mo siya?”  Naibaba nito ang sigarilyo sa ashtray.

“Malaki din ang atraso ng kumag na iyan sa akin.”  Sabi ko.  “Baka pwedeng ibalato mo na yan sakin. Ang mga bata ko na ang bahalang magdispatsa sa kanya”

“Iyon lang ba? Bahala ka na sa putanginang yan.”  Sabi nito.

Chapter Twenty Six

Tatlong araw pa kami nanatili sa ospital bago pinayagan umuwi si Andi ng doktor. Tuwang-tuwa si Andi nang malaman niyang pwede na kami makauwi. Syempre masaya din ako dahil mabuti na ang kalagayan ng mahal ko pero hindi ko maiwasan ang makaramdam ng kaba. Hindi ko pa kasi alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanya ang nangyari sa amin ni Didith habang nasa ospital siya.

  “Mahal ko, kanina ka pa tahimik.”  Pumulupot ang mga kamay niya sa leeg ko mula sa likod at isinubsob ang mukha niya sa leeg ko.

“Huh? Ah… masaya lang ako kasi magaling ka na.”  Humarap ako sa kanya at binigyan ng mabilis na halik sa labi.  Ang totoo niyan natatakot akong magsalita dahil baka hindi ko mapigil ang sarili ko… ang konsensya ko, at baka masabi ko sa kanya iyon.  “Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko kung may nangyaring masama sa’yo.”

“Hindi mo naman kasalanan iyon.”  Sabi ni Andi.

“Kasalanan ko dahil hindi kung naalagaan lang kita maigi hindi ka magkakasakit.”

“Stop blaming yourself.”  Malumanay na sabi niya.  “Pareho naman natin hindi ginusto iyon.”

“Tinakot mo ako, alam mo ba yun?”  Seryosong sabi ko. Naramdaman ko na lang na nangingilid na ang luha sa mga mata ko.  “Kapag may nararamdaman ka, magsabi ka sa akin. You shouldn’t keep anything from me.” 

“Well, right now… I feel like kissing you.”  Nangingislap ang mga mata niya habang nakatitig sa mukha ko.

Naudlot ang pagtulo ng luha ko at napalitan iyon ng ngiti. Kinabig niya ang ulo ko at hinalikan ako.  

“Ikaw talaga. Kagagaling mo lang sa sakit gusto mo na naman?”  Nakangising sabi ko.

“Hindi ah.”  She blushed.  “I just missed your kiss.”

Walang nangyari sa amin nang gabing iyon. Bumabawi pa ang katawan niya ng pahinga at nagpapasalamat naman ako doon. Hindi dahil ayokong makipagtalik sa kanya kundi dahil nandidiri ako sa sarili ko. Nandidiri ako sa ginawa ko at pakiramdam ko kapag ginalaw ko si Andi marurumihan siya.

Hahanap lang ako ng magandang tiyempo para mapagtapat ko sa kanya ang nangyari. Ayokong maglihim sa kanya. She’s my wife, I owe her the truth. Sana lang maintindihan niya na para sa kanya ang ginawa ko. Ginawa ko yun dahil kailangan. Sana magawa niya pa akong mapatawad. Sana hindi niya ako pangdirihan. Iniisip ko pa lang iyon hindi ko na maiwasan ang mapaluha. Ang dami ko nang napagdaanan pero kahit kailan hindi ko iniyakan ang mga iyon. Pero pagdating kay Andi, pag siya na ang involve, ang bilis kong lumuha.

Pinagmasdan ko lang si Andi habang kumakain siya. She looked at me and smiled.  “Why aren’t you eating your food?”

“Ang sarap mo kasing panoorin habang kumakain.”  Sabi ko. Isang linggo na ang nakakaraan mula ng lumabas siya sa ospital at ngayon ay bumalik na ang dating lakas niya. We still hadn’t made love. Maraming beses na niyang ipinararamdam na gusto niya pero hindi niya masabi sa akin. Inililihis ko na lang ang atensyon niya sa ibang bagay. Sobrang pagpipigil na nga ang ginagawa ko.

Ito na ang pagkakataon ko para masabi sa kanya.

“Ands…”  Tawag ko sa kanya.

Huminto siya sa pagkain at tumingin sa akin. Matagal akong hindi nakapagsalita. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko at naramdaman ko. Tinaas niya ang mga kilay niya habang hinihintay akong magsalita.

“What?”  Hindi niya na siguro napigilan ang sarili niyang magtanong.

“Noong nasa ospital ka… nakipag-sex ako sa ibang babae kapalit ng pera.”  Diretsang sabi ko. Wala ng mas madaling paraan para sabihin sa kanya iyon. Kahit anong sabihin ko masasaktan pa rin siya. 

Nabitawan niya ang hawak niyang tinidor at nahulog iyon sa sahig. Walang mababakas na kahit anong emosyon sa mukha niya kaya mas lalo akong natakot. Hindi ko alam kung anong tumatakbo sa isip niya.

Maya-maya ay tumawa siya na labis kong ikinagulat ngunit may namumuong luha sa gilid ng mga mata niya.  “Y-you’re kidding, right?”

“Mahal ko.”  Sinubukan kong hawakan ang kamay niyang nakapatong sa mesa ngunit mabilis niyang inilayo iyon.

“Tell me this is just a joke!”  Tumaas ang boses niya.

“I’m sorry. Hindi ko ginusto iyon. Kinailangan kong gawin iyon para may maipangbayad ako sa ospital.”

“You should’ve left me to die! Kasi ngayon pa lang pakiramdam ko namamatay na ako.”  Umiiyak na sabi niya. 

“Mahal ko…”  Nanginginig ang boses na sabi ko.

“Who is she?!”  Naniningkit ang mga mata niya sa galit.

“Andi-”

“Don’t Andi me! Sino siya?”  Pilit niya.

“Mahal, siya… siya yung sinasabi kong nagpaaral sa akin noon.”

 

“Is she better than me ha? Mas masarap siya kesa sa akin? Mas experienced siya di ba? Is she the reason why you won’t have sex with me?” 

“Andi…”  Tumayo ako mula sa kinauupuan ko at lumapit ako sa tabi niya. Bago ko pa siya mahawakan tinulak niya ako at tumakbo papasok sa kwarto. Para akong nanghihina kaya napaupo ako sa silya. Sinubsob ang aking mukha sa mga palad ko at hinayaan ko nang tumulo ang luha ko.  Inaasahan ko na ang ganitong reaksyon niya pero ang sakit pa rin. Yung makita yung pinaghalong galit at lungkot sa mga mata niya. 

Nang mahimasmasan ako agad akong nagtungo sa pinto ng kwarto para sana kausapin siya pero naka-lock iyon. Kahit anong katok at pagmamakaawa ko hindi niya ako pinagbuksan ng pinto. 

“Leave me alone.”  Sigaw niya mula sa loob ng kwarto.

“Mahal, mag-usap tayo.”  Sabi ko.

“I don’t wanna talk to you right now.”  Humihikbing sabi niya.

“Yun na lang kasi yung alam kong pwede kong pagkakitaan ng pera.”  Paliwanag ko sa kanya. Alam kong nakikinig siya mula sa loob. “Hindi kita masisisi kung magalit ka sa akin at pandirihan mo ko.”

“Please, iwanan mo muna ako.”  Medyo kumalma na ang boses niya pero alam kong umiiyak pa rin siya.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Mas makakabuti nga siguro kung pababayaan ko muna siya para makapag-isip siya. Bahala na sa kung anuman ang magiging desisyon niya. Kung aalis man siya at iiwan ako maluwag ko iyong tatanggapin.

 Sa sala ako natulog nang gabing iyon. Hindi naman ako nakatulog masyado dahil hinihintay ko talagang lumabas siya mula sa kwarto. Umaga na ng marinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto ng kwarto at agad naman ako napabalikwas mula sa kinahihigaan ko. Andi looked at me, her eyes were puffy and red. Wala ng bakas ng galit sa mukha nito pero nandun ang lungkot.

“Mahal, pag-usapan natin ito.”  Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanya. Nilagpasan niya lang ako at sumunod ako sa kanya. Hinaranga ko siya sa pamamagitan ng katawan ko.

“Tristan, bigyan mo muna ako ng space.”  Kalmanteng sabi niya bago ako mahinang itinulak. Tumabi na ako at hinayaan ko siyang dumaan. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi panoorin siya habang ginagawa niya ang daily routines niya.

Buong araw kaming hindi nag-usap. At least hindi niya ako nilayasan. Naniniwala pa rin ako na mapapatawad niya ako dahil hindi niya pa rin ako iniiwan hanggang ngayon. Maaayos din namin ito.

“Tristan.”  Pormal ang mukhang tawag sa akin ni Andi nang makita niya akong papasok sa kabilang kwarto. Tumingin ako sa kanya. “Dito ka na matulog sa kwarto natin.” 

Pagkasabi ay pumasok na siya sa loob. Sabi na eh, hindi ako matitiis ng mahal ko. Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapangiti bago ako sumunod sa kanya. Nakahiga na siya sa kama ng pumasok ako sa kwarto. Nasa pinakadulo siya ng kama at nakatalikod. It’s still better than sleeping alone. Okay na sa akin yung hinayaan niya akong tumabi sa kanya ngayong gabi.

Nagising ako ng marinig ko ang malakas na kalampag. Tumama ang pinto ng kwarto sa dingding sa tabi nito at pumasok ang ilang mga lalaki, puro malalaki ang kanilang mga katawan. Nananaginip ba ako? 

“Sino kayo?”  Tanong ko sa kanila. Anak ng puta! Mga magnanakaw yata ang mga ito.

Hindi sumagot ang mga ito. Unti-unti silang lumapit. Agad akong nabahala dahil nasa likod ko lang si Andi at mahimbing pa rin siyang natutulog. Kapag hinawakan nila kahit dulo ng daliri ng mahal ko magkakamatayan kami.

“Ano bang kailangan niyo? Kunin niyo na ang gusto niyo at umalis na kayo dito!”  Sigaw ko sa kanila.

“Tristan… ano b- Ahhh!” Tili ni Andi ng makita niya ang mga lalaki.  “Sino sila?”

Bago pa ako makapagsalita hinablot ng isang lalaki ang damit ko at isinandal ako sa pader.  “Yan mukhang ’yan ba kinababaliwan ng asawa ni gov?”  Tanong ng isang lalaki at nagtawanan ang mga kasama niya. Tangina! Ang asawa ni Meredith ang may kagagawan nito.

“Hindi lang asawa ni gov… pati anak ni mayor.”  Nakangising sabi ng isa bago hinablot si Andi sa braso. Napasigaw si Andi.

“Putangina niyo! Huwag niyong idamay si Andi dito!”  Sigaw ko sa kanila. Pilit akong nanlaban at kumawala. Binigyan ako ng isa sa mga lalaki ng suntok sa tiyan. 

“Huwag kang maangas, ulol ka!”  Sabi ng lalaki bago ako inambaan ng suntok sa mukha.

“Bitawan niyo ako!”  Sigaw ni Andi. Hawak siya ng dalawang lalaki sa magkabilang kamay. Sinipa ko ang lalaking humahawak sa akin at nang makawala ako sa kanya ay mabilis akong tumakbo papunta kay Andi. Bago pa man ako nakalapi kay Andi may humatak sa akin at hinawakan ako sa leeg.

“Tarantado ka ah!”  Naninigkit ang mga matang sabi niya. Hinigpitan niya pa lalo ang pagkakahawak sa leeg ko hanggang sa hindi ni ako makahinga. Pilit kong tinanggal ang mga kamay niya sa leeg ko.

“Stop! Please, don’t kill him.”  Humihikbing sabi ni Andi.

“Ilabas niyo na yan. Kami na ang bahalang tumapos sa kumag na ’to.”  Utos ng lalaking sinipa ko kanina sa dalawang lalaking nakahawak kay Andi. Bigla akong nagpanic. Nagpumiglas ako, natatakot ako na baka may gawin silang masama sa mahal ko.

Pilit kong inabot ang mukha ng lalaking nakahawak sa leeg ko at sinapak siya. 

“Putangina mo, hindi ka titigil ha?”  Bumunot ng baril mula sa bulsa niya ang lalaking nasa tabi ko at itinutok sa noo ko.

Narinig ko ang malakas na sigaw ni Andi. 

“Don’t kill him! Please, nagmamakaawa ako sa inyo. Let us go! Hindi kami magsusumbong sa pulis!”  Naghihisterikal na sigaw ni Andi. Hindi siya pinansin ng mga ito.

“Ilabas niyo na sabi yan!” Sigaw ng lalaking may hawak ng baril. Nang humarap siya sa dalawa nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon para makuha sa kanya ang baril. Hinatak ko ang lalaking may hawak sa akin at inipit ang leeg niya sa bisig ko habang ang isang kamay ko ay nakahawak sa baril at nakatutok sa ulo niya.

“Kinangina! Tatanga-tanga ka kasi!”  Sigaw ng lalaking may hawak kay Andi sa kasamahan niya.

“Pakawalan niyo si Andi, kung hindi babarilin ko ito.”  Banta ko sa kanila, Nagpalitan ng tingin ang tatlo.

“P’re, p-pakawalan n-n-niyo n-na.”  Nanginginig ang boses ng sabi ng lalaking hawak ko.

Tumango ang isang lalaki at dahan-dahan naman nilang binitawan si Andi. Agad na tumakbo si Andi sa akin. Pinagtago ko siya sa likod ko.

“Pakawalan mo na ang kasama namin.”  Sabi ng lalaki. Hindi ako ganun katanga. Syempre pagpinakawalan ko yun baka kung ano pang gawin nila sa amin. 

“Huwag kang lalayo sa tabi ko, mahal.”  Sabi ko sa kanya. Dahan-dahan akong naglakad ,patalikod kung saan makikita ko sila habang nakahawak sa akin si Andi, at lumabas ng kwarto. Sumunod ang mga lalaki sa amin.

Nagmamadaling lumabas kami sa apartment at isinara ko ang pinto nun, naiwan sa loob ang tatlo. Itinulak ko ang lalaking hawak ko at hinatak si Andi. Mabilis kaming tumakbo sa hagdan at bumaba. 

“Dali, habulin niyo!”  Narinig kong utos ng isa sa mga lalaki habang bumababa kami sa hagdan. Lalo kong binilisan ang pagtakbo at hinigpitan pa ang hawak ko sa kamay ni Andi ng marinig ko ang mabibigat na yabag ng mga paa nila.

Tumakbo kami ng tumakbo hanggang sa makalabas kami ng compound. Nakakita agad kami ng tricycle na masasakyan. Nagpahatid kami sa sakayan ng bus.

“Akala ko papatayin ka na nila. I was so scared.”  Umiiyak na sabi ni Andi.

Niyakap ko siya.  “Wala na sila, mahal ko.”

“I’m sorry, Tristan. I’m so sorry, I was selfish.” Hinilig niya ang ulo niya sa dibdib ko. “I wasn’t disgusted with you. I just- it makes me mad that you had sex with another girl. But I still love you. Dapat inintindi kita, you only did it because of me.”

“Tapos na yun. Kalimutan na natin ang mga lahat ng nangyari.”  Sabi ko habang hinahaplos ang buhok niya at pilit siyang pinapatahan.

Huminto ang tricycle sa bus terminal. Mabuti na lang may konti pa akong pera sa bulsa ko at nabayaran ko ang tricycle driver. Pero hind yun sapat pangbili ng ticket sa bus. Napamura ako ng mahina. Paano kami makakaalis ngayon nito?

“Tristan, saan tayo pupunta?”  Tanong ni Andi habang nakakapit sa braso ko.

“Kahit saan, basta malayo dito.”  Sagot ko.

Lumapit ako sa bilihan ng ticket at tinanong kung magkano ang isang ticket. Katulad ng inaasahan ko kulang na kulang ang perang dala ko.

“Uhm, what if ibigay ko sa’yo itong earrings ko.”  Hinubad ni Andi ang suot niyang hikaw sa magkabilang tenga at inilapag sa harap ng nagbebenta ng ticket.  “Gold yan.”

Tinignan sandali ito ng babae bago niya mabilis na kinuha at itinago.

“Saang lugar?”  Tanong niya.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Andi at pareho kaming napangiti. 

“Kahit saan basta yung papaalis na.”  Sagot ko. Binigyan niya kami ng dalawang ticket. Sumakay agad kami sa bus at ilang minuto pa ay umandar na ito. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Hindi na kami masusunod ng mga humahabol sa amin. Hinilig ni Andi ang ulo niya sa balikat ko at yumakap sa braso ko. Maya-maya ay nakatulog muli siya. Hinalikan ko ang noo niya. Pwede na kaming magsimula ng panibagong buhay sa pupuntahan namin. Sa lugar na walang nakakakilala sa amin. Hindi na nila kami magugulo.

Chapter Twenty Seven

“Mahal ko, gising na. Nandito na tayo.”  I heard Tristan say. I slowly open my eyes. Nakatigil na ang bus na sinasakyan namin at may araw na. Nang tumingin ako kay Tristan I noticed the bruise on his face. My poor baby. He was almost killed dahil sa akin. Dapat ako yung unang nakaintindi sa kanya. Nagawa niya lang yun dahil sa akin. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng sacrifices na ginawa niya galit pa ang iginanti ko sa kanya.

“Does it hurt?”  Hinaplos ko ang mukha niya. He just smiled and shook his head.

“Baba na tayo.”  Sabi niya.

“Saan tayo pupunta?”  Tanong ko. We don’t have any money. Wala kaming kahit anong dala.

Nagkibit-balikat siya.  “Bahala na.”

Tumayo na kami. He took my hand and we went out of the bus. I didn’t feel any fear kahit hindi namin alam kung saan kami pupunta. Alam kong kapag si Tristan ang kasama ko ligtas ako. Hindi niya ako pababayaan. 

Wala naman kaming kakilala dito at wala rin kaming alam na lugar na pwedeng matuluyan. We just walked and walked and walked. Hanggang sa huminto kami sa isang carinderia. 

“Ano’ng gusto mong kainin.” 

“We don’t have any money.”  Mahinang sabi ko.

“May natira pa kong barya dito.”  Dumukot siya sa pocket niya.

Pumili ako ng pagkain. Sakto lang ang pera namin para sa isang cup ng kanin at isang ulam. He didn’t buy food for himself.

“Share na lang tayo.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Huwag na. Sa’yo na yan, alam kong gutom ka na.”  He said, smiling. 

“You have to eat too.”  I frowned.

“Busog pa ko.”  Sagot niya.  

“No, you’re not. You haven’t eaten yet. Come on, kumain ka na din.”  Sinubuan ko siya dahil alam kong gutom na din siya.

Pagkatapos namin kumain naglakad na naman kami. We didn’t have any money left and we still don’t know where we’ll go. 

“Sorry, mahal ko.”  Hinalikan niya ang kamay ko na hawak niya.  “Nadamay ka pa sa gulong ito.”

“We are going to get through this together, we always do naman di ba?”  I smiled at him.

“Akala ko makakapagsimula na ulit tayo ng panibagong buhay dito kaso di pala ganun kadali yun. Sa totoo lang, natatakot na ako.”  His eyes started getting glossy.  “Natatakot akong baka maranasan mo rin ang mga naranasan ko noon. Ayokong magutom ka, ayokong matulog ka sa kalsada, ayokong-”

“Shh… ano ka ba? It’s going to be okay. Makakayanan natin ito as long as we’re together.”  Pinisil ko ang kamay niya. 

Hindi na siya nagsalita pa at parang malalim ang iniisip niya. Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad. Lakad lang kami ng lakad kahit na wala kaming siguradong pupuntahan. Ilang beses ko rin narinig ang buntong hininga ni Tristan. He didn’t say a single word.

Sa paglalakad namin, napunta na kami sa kalsada na walang tao. Sa gilid ng kalsada ay puro talahiban na at wala masyadong dumadaan na sasakyan. Siguro isang sasakyan pa lang ang nakita namin na dumaan doon sa tagal ng paglalakad namin.

Malayo pa lang nakita na namin ang isang kotse na nakatigil sa gilid ng kalsada at tatlong lalaking nakapaligid sa isang matandang lalaki. I instantly knew something was wrong. The old man looked scared.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Tristan.

“Mahal, magtago ka.”  Mahinang sabi niya.

“Hey, what are you going to do?”  May pag-aalalang tanong ko.

“Tutulungan ko lang yung lalaki. Basta magtago ka lang d’yan.”  Pilit niya kong dinala sa likod ng puno.

“T-tristan… baka, kung anong mangyari sa’yo.”  Sabi ko.

“May dala akong baril.”  Sabi niya sabay hawak sa bulsa niya. Dala niya pa pala ang baril na nakuha niya sa mga lalaking pumasok sa apartment.

“Tristan.”  Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay niya.

Narinig kong sumigaw ang matanda bago sinapak ng isang lalaki at napahiga ito. 

“Kailangan ko siyang tulungan.”  Sabi ni Tristan. Kahit natatakot ako para kay Tristan dahan-dahan kong binitawan ang kamay niya. Naawa din kasi ako sa matandang lalaki.

Agad na lumapit si Tristan sa mga lalaki. Nagpaputok si Tristan ng baril at agad tumakbo ang tatlo palayo. He helped the old man get up. Lumapit na din ako sa kanila.

“Maraming salamat.”  Sabi ng matandang lalaki kay Tristan. “ Utang ko sa’yo ang buhay ko. 

Baka napatay na ako ng mga demonyong iyon kung hindi ka dumating.“

Tinanguan lang ni Tristan ang matanda.

“Halikayo sumama kayo sa akin.”  Aya ng matanda.  “Gusto ko kayong pasalamat sa pagligtas sa akin.”

Tumingin sa akin si Tristan and I just nodded my head. He seemed like a nice old man naman. Sumakay kami sa kotse niya. Sumakay si Tristan sa passenger’s seat at ako naman ay sa likod.

“Ang ulol na yun. Namumukhaan ko ang isa sa kanila. Malaki ang utang ng isa sa kanila sa akin.”  Galit na sabi ng matanda habang nagmamaneho.  “Kaya siguro gusto na akong todasin dahil gustong makatakas sa utang niya. Kung hindi ka dumating, ginilit na siguro ng mga demonyong iyon ang leeg ko.” 

“Dapat ho i-report na natin sa pulis yan.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

 “Talagang i-re-report ko yun sa pulis.”  Napailing ang matanda.  “Napakawalanghiya na talaga ng mga tao ngayon. Ikaw na nga ang tumutulong, ikaw pa ang gagawan ng masama. Buti na lang may katulad mong mabubuti ang loob.”

“Ginawa ko lang ho ang tingin kong tama.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

“Ako nga pala si Jaime. Anong pangalan mo?”  Tanong niya.

“Tristan.”  Sagot niya.

“At ikaw, hija?”  Tumingin siya sa akin mula sa rear view mirror niya.

“Andi po.” 

“Saan ba kayo dapat papunta at nagawi kayo sa lugar na yun?”  Tanong ng matanda.

“Galing pa kami ng Maynila. Hindi namin kabisado ang lugar na ito at wala naman kaming mapuntahan.”  Sagot ni Tristan.

“Ah, mga bagong salta pala kayo. Wala ka bang kakilala dito?” 

Umiling si Tristan.

“Wala rin kayong matutuluyan?”

“Yun nga ho pinoproblema namin.”  Si Tristan.

“Kung ganon, tapos na ang problema niyo. Huwag kayong mag-alala. Bibigyan ko kayo ng lugar na matitirhan.”  Sabi ng matanda.

“Really?”  Masayang sabi ko.

“Oo naman.”  Ngumiti siya sa akin.

“Thank you so much, sir.”  Sabi ko. Dahil sa excitement ko napayakap ako kay Tristan mula sa likod niya.  “Mahal, did you hear that? Meron na tayong place na matutuluyan.”

Lumingon sa akin si Tristan at ngumiti. Then tumingin siya sa lalaki.  “Salamat, sir.”

The car stopped in front of a big wooden gate. Bumusina siya ng dalawang beses and two guards opened the gate. Pumasok ang kotse sa loob. Makikita sa loob ang malawak na taniman. 

“Good evening, senor.”  Bati ng guard.

Ngumiti ang matandang lalaki at tinanguan ang mga guard.

Kasing laki yata ng subdivision ang buong place niya. Nadaanan din namin ang mga cows, goats, horses at kung anu-ano pang mga farm animals. It took us about ten minutes na pagdrive bago kami nakarating sa dulo kung nasaan ang mansion. We were greeted by another set of guards.

Hininto niya ang kotse sa harap ng mansion. We got out of the car at pinapasok niya kami sa bahay niya.

“Daddy!”  Tumakbo palapit sa matandang lalaki ang isang babae. She was wearing pink plaid shirt tied in a knot at the bottom, skinny jeans and brown boots. She really is pretty and she has the perfect body.

“Hija, I’d like you to meet Andi and Tristan.”  Sabi ng matandang lalaki.  “This is my daughter Valerie.”

She waved at us.  “Hello there.”

 

I smiled at her. Tinanguan lang siya ni Tristan.

“Alam mo bang habang nagmamaneho ako papunta dito hinarangan ako ni Elmer at ng mga kasama niya. Pinababa nila ako sa kotse at tinutukan ng kutsilyo.”  Kwento niya.

The girl gasped.  “Daddy, oh my god! That’s so scary. What did he do to you?”

“Mabuti na nga lang wala pang nagagawa ang mga demonyong iyon sa akin dahil dumating agad si Tristan.”  He patted Tristan’s shoulder.

“Gosh! Thank you so much for saving my father’s life.”  Tumingin ang babae kay Tristan at niyakap siya. I looked away. I felt a little bit jealous. Sino ba naman hindi magseselos? A sexy, beautiful woman is hugging my husband. And oh my gosh, her big boobs… tumatama sa dibdib ni Tristan. I wanted to pull my him away from her.

“Wala po yun.”  Sabi ni Tristan sa babae.

“Ano’ng wala. Buhay yun ng ama ko.”  Nakangiting sabi ng babae.  “Thanks so much.”  Hinawakan niya ang kamay ni Tristan.

I couldn’t help but frown. Talagang kailangan hawakan ang kamay niya pagmagpapasalamat? Then tumingin siya sa akin.  “Andi, right?”

I just noddded my head.

“Magkapatid kayo?”  Valerie asked.

“Asawa ko siya.”  Umakbay sa akin si Tristan. Napangiti ako. Hah! In your face!

“Oh.”  Valerie nodded her head. 

“Halika na, sa mesa na tayo magkuwentuhan. Nagpahanda na ako ng makakain.”  Aya ng matandang lalaki.

Sumunod kami sa kanya sa dining room. There were lots of food sa table. Akala mo may fiesta. We sat at the table and ate.

“Daddy, I think you should hire Tristan na maging bodyguard mo. Para hindi na maulit ang nangyari sa’yo.”  Sabi ni Valerie.

Tumango-tango ang matanda.  “Yes, that’s a good idea. Kung papayag ka, hijo.”

“Oo naman, sir. Hindi ko tatanggihan yun.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

  “Now, hindi na ako mag-aalala kasi alam kong may nagbabantay sa’yo.”  Yumakap si Valerie sa daddy niya. I sighed, bigla ko tuloy na miss si daddy.

“Tristan, take good care of my daddy, ha?”  Malambing na sabi ni Valerie. Ugh! She’s flirting with my husband!

Nginitian lang siya ni Tristan. 

“Ano bang trabaho mo dati?”  Tanong ni Valerie.

“Photographer ako dati, ma’am.” 

“Wow, that’s so cool.”  Manghang sabi niya. Oh come on! Ngayon ka lang nakakita ng photographer. I really wanted to roll my eyes.  “Please, huwag mo na akong tawaging ma’am. Just call me Valerie.”

“Okay, Valerie.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

“That’s more like it.”  She smiled sweetly.

Tanong ng tanong sa kanya si Valerie habang kumakain kami. It’s almost like sila lang dalawa ang magkasama. Halos sila lang dalawa ang nag-uusap. Sa sobrang inis ko hindi ako nakakain mabuti. I just played with my food. Subukan lang ni Tristan patulan ang kalandian ng babaeng yan. I swear to God, itutusok ko sa male part niya itong hawak kong tinidor.

“Ipahahatid ko kayo sa driver ko sa tutuluyan niyo.”  Sabi ni sir Jaime after we finished our meal. Ah! Finally, makakalayo na kami Valerie na iyon.

“Daddy, ako na lang ang maghahatid sa kanila.”  Sabi ni Valerie. Oh god, no! 

“Are you sure, hija?”  Tanong ng matanda.

“Oo naman, dad. Sa loob lang naman yun ng hacienda.”  Sagot niya.

“Ikaw ang bahala. Kakausap ko pa ang ninong Dante mo para makapagsampa na ako ng kaso sa Elmer na yun.”  Sabi ni sir Jaime bago tumayo sa mesa.

Nagpasalamat kami sa kanya bago siya umalis. 

“Halika na, hatid ko na kayo sa bago niyong bahay.”  Sabi ni Valerie.

Tumayo si Valerie at sumunod kami ni Tristan. 

“Mahal, may problema ba?”  Umakbay sa akin si Tristan. I brushed his hand off my shoulder. Inirapan ko siya.

“Bakit ba?”  Tanong ni Tristan. Hindi ako sumagot.

“Hop in, guys.”  Nakangiting sabi ni Valerie bago siya pumasok sa pink car niya. Kinuha ni Tristan ang kamay ko at hinatak ako. Binuksan niya ang pinto sa likod ng kotse at pinapasok ako doon. He sat sa front, next to Valerie. Her car smells like strawberry.

“Oh, you’ll like the people there. Mababait silang lahat.”  Sabi ni Valerie habang nagda-drive.  “Kilala ko silang lahat dahil sila ang kasama kong lumaki.”

Tahimik lang akong nakaupo sa likod at naka-cross ang arms ko habang nakikinig ako sa usapan nila.

I couldn’t wait to get out her car. Kaya paghinto pa lang kotse binuksan ko na ang pinto at lumabas dun.

“Mahal.”  Hinawakan ako ni Tristan sa kamay.  “What’s wrong?”

Hindi pa rin ako sumagot.

“Come on, guys.”  Aya ni Valerie.

He kissed me on the cheek before grabbing me by the wrist. Para kaming nasa isang maliit na village na may magkakatabing mga bahay kubo. May mga tindahan sa labas ng bahay, may mga batang naglalaro at mga taong nagkakasiyahan. Everyone knew Valerie and they all greeted her. 

“Pinatayo talaga ito ng daddy ko para sa mga nagtatrabaho dito sa hacienda.”  Sabi ni Valerie habang naglalakad kami.  “Everybody loves daddy dahil sobrang bait niya. Minsan nga lang may mga umaabuso.”

Huminto kami sa isang bahay.  “Tadaaa! Ito na ang bagong bahay niyo.” 

“Salamat, Valerie. Salamat sa inyo ni sir Jaime.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

“Kulang pa ito sa ginawa mong tulong sa daddy ko.”  Sabi ni Valerie. Nagpaalam na rin siya pagkatapos nun.

Pumasok kami sa loob ng bahay kubo. It’s kind of small pero sapat lang naman yun para sa amin. Tela lang na nakasabit sa paligid ng kama ang tumatakip sa “bedroom”, may maliit na sink din doon na hugasan ng mga plato, sa tabi naman ay meron kalan at kung lalakad ka ng konti may square na table na gawa sa kawayan at dalawang upuan. 

“Mahal ko…”  Yumakap mula sa likod ko si Tristan.  “Galit ka ba?”

“She likes you.”  Sabi ko.

“Eh ano naman? Ikaw ang mahal ko.”  Sabi niya.

“Maganda siya.”  Mahinang sabi ko. Yes, I am insecure!

“Mas maganda ka.”  He buried his face on my neck.  “Nagseselos ang mahal ko.”

“Baka magustuhan mo din siya.”  I pouted.

“Hindi mangyayari yun dahil masyado akong in love sa’yo para tumingin pa sa ibang babae. Mahal na mahal kita, Andi.” 

I smiled.  “Prove it.”

“You want me to prove it huh?”  His hands went inside my shirt.  “How, Andi? Tell me.”

“Make love to me.”  I said.

His hands slowly made their way to my breasts and squeezed it lightly.  “I missed your boobs.”

“Valerie has bigger-”

“Shh! Huwag kang magbabanggit ng pangalan ng ibang babae while I make love to you.”  He whispered. “Wala akong gusto sa kanya, naiintindihan mo?”

He squeezed my breasts harder.  “Nagkakaintindihan ba tayo?”

“Uh… yes.”  I moaned.

Tinaas niya ang shirt ko at hinubad yun. He unhooked my bra and let it fall to the ground. Hinarap niya ako sa kanya at bumaba ang ulo niya sa dibdib ko. He began sucking my breast while his hand played with the the other. It’s been weeks since the last time we had made love. Napayakap ako sa ulo niya.

Binuhat niya ako at dinala sa kama. Hinubad niya ang shirt niya pati ang pantalon at briefs niya. Sinunod niya ang pang-ibaba ko at ang underwear ko. He opened my legs and touched my slit. His fingers rubbed my sensitive spot. I gasped as his fingers pinched it.

I was about to scream in pleasure when he covered my mouth with his. I whipered when his tongue pushed into my mouth. I felt him push one finger inside of me, then slid it out. 

“You’re so wet…”  He murmured against my mouth. And he is so hard. Nararamdaman ko iyon sa tiyan ko.

He bent me over and positioned himself behind me. He started thrusting in and out of me. We had never tried this position before and God, it feels so good. I can feel him deeper than he had ever been.

“Uhh… Andi, mahal ko…”  He groaned.

Napasubsob ako sa unan at umungol. 

“Mmm… T-tristan…”  I cried. My walls clenched around his thick shaft. All I could do was moan. 

“Andi, I’m coming!”  He moaned. After a few thrust, he shot his load inside me. I felt him twitch inside me.  We stayed still for a moment before he pulled his shaft and laid beside me.

“Love you.”  Malambing na sabi niya bago niya ako hinatak papunta sa dibdib niya.

“I love you, too.” 

“Hi, ako nga pala si Emma.”  A middle-aged woman waved at me ng makalabas ako sa bahay. I smiled at her.

“Hello po. Good morning.” Magalang na sabi ko.

“Magandang araw din sa’yo. Kapit bahay niyo ako. Nakatira lang kami d’yan sa tabi ng bahay niyo.”  Sabi niya.  “Saan nga pala kayo galing?”

“Sa Manila po.”  Sagot ka.

“Ah, ganon ba. Alam mo nanirahan rin kami ng asawa ko noon sa Maynila pero di namin kinaya ang hirap ng buhay doon.”  Kwento niya.  “Mas masaya dito. Tahimik, sariwa ang hangin pati ang mga pagkain.”

“Oo nga po.”  I agreed. Malayo na kami sa magulong buhay namin sa Manila. It’s nice and peaceful here.

“Ano ba ang trabaho ng asawa mo dito sa hacienda?”  Tanong niya.

“Bodyguard po ni sir Jaime.”  Sabi ko.

“Ang swerte niyo. Talagang napakabait ni senor Jaime.” 

“Eh si Valerie po?”  Na curious ako tungkol sa kanya. I wanted to know if dapat ba akong mabahala sa kanya.

“Hindi naman sa naninira ako ah. Pero may pagkasutil ang batang iyon. Kung ano ang  gusto niya iyon ang masusunod. Anak mayaman kasi kaya spoiled.”  Sabi ni Emma.  “Uy, satin lang iyon.”

Ngumiti ako at  tumango. 

Lumabas si Tristan sa bahay at umakbay sa akin. Halatang bagos gising siya.

“Good morning, mahal.”  Humalik siya sa pisngi ko.

“Si aling Emma nga pala, mahal. She’s our neighbor.”  Sabi ko.

“Good morning po.”  Magalang na bati ni Tristan.

“Bagay na bagay kayo ng asawa mo. Ang gwapo’t ang ganda. Swerte ang magiging anak niyo niyan.”  Sabi ni aling Emma.  “Gaano katagal na ba kayong kasal?”

“Magdadalawang buwan na ho.”  Sagot ni Tristan.

“Mga bagong kasal pala kayo. Kaya pala kagabi ang ingay-”  Napahinto siya sa sasabihin niya at napahawak sa bibig. Oh my god, they heard us? I can already feel my cheeks burning.  “Ano ba ’tong bibig ko!”

Natawa lang si Tristan.  “Pasensya na ho.”

“Naku, wala sa amin yun. Normal yun sa mag-asawa.” Tinapik ako sa braso ni aling Emma. “Wala kang dapat ikahiya. Ginagawa din namin yun ng asawa ko.”

Pinakilala sa amin ni aling Emma ang lahat ng kapit bahay namin at sobrang friendly at bait nilang lahat. Inimbitahan pa nga kami ni aling Sonia sa kasiyahan mamayang gabi dahil birthday niya.

Nang gabi ding iyon, pumunta kami sa kasiyahan. Everybody was there. We sat around the bonfire. Para kaming nagcacamping. Nageenjoy ang lahat sa pagsayaw at pagkukuwentuhan. Natahimik ang lahat ng maglabas ng guitar ang asawa ni aling Sonia at nagsimulang kumanta. Everybody was silent as we listen to him sing. 

Ikaw at ako, pinagtagpo

Nag-usap ang ating puso

Nagkasundong magsama habangbuhay.

Nagsumpaan sa Maykapal

Walang iwanan, tag-init o tag-ulan

Haharapin bawat unos na mag-daan.

Sana’y di magmaliw ang pagtingin

Kaydaling sabihin , kayhirap gawin

Sa mundong walang katiyakan

Sabay natin gawing kahapon ang bukas.

Ikaw at ako, pinag-isa

Tayong dalwa may kanya kanya

Sa isa’t-isa tayo ay sumasandal

Bawat hangad kayang abutin

Sa pangamba’y di paaalipin

Basta’t ikaw, ako

Tayo magpakailanman.

Kung minsan ay di ko nababanggit

Pag-ibig ko’y di masukat

Ng anumang lambing

At kung magkamali akong ika’y saktan

Puso mo ba’y handang magpatawad

Di ko alam ang gagawin kung mawala ka

Buhay ko’y may kahulugan

tuwing ako’y iyong hagkan

Umabot man sating huling hantungan

Kapit-puso kitang hahayaan

Ngayon at kailanman

Ikaw at ako.

Tristan’s arms were wrapped tightly around me. Sinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa kanya. I found myself biting my lower lips to keep myself from crying. The song just hits so close to home. It reminds me of everthing that we had been through.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Tristan and I are getting along with everyone. Hindi kami nahirapan mag-adjust dahil madali rin naman pakisamahan ang mga bagong kapit-bahay namin. Nakaupo kami ni aling Sonia sa mahabang silya sa labas ng bahay habang tinuturuan niya ako magburda para naman may pagkaabalahan ako. Sa di-kalayuan, si Tristan naman ay nakikipagkuwentuhan sa mga lalaking kasama niya.

Pag-angat ng mukha ko nakita ko ang pink car ni Valerie na paparating. It stopped in front of us.

“Himala, nandito na naman si senorita.”  Bulong ni aling Sonia.  

Bumaba si Valerie at kumaway sa akin.  “Hi, Andie.”  Nakangiting bati niya. 

Napilitan din akong ngumiti.  “Hi…”

“Si Tristan?”  Tanong niya. Bigla nawala ang ngiti ko. Ano na naman ba ang kailangan ng babaeng ito sa asawa ko?

She looked around at nakita niya si Tristan.  “Oh, there he is!”  Tinalikuran niya ako at mabilis na lumapit kay Tristan. Nang makita siya ng asawa ko, lumapit agad si Tristan sa kanya.

Naiinis ako nakikita ko pa lang silang nag-uusap. Look at her smiling like an idiot while she talks to my husband. What are they talking about kaya? And she really needs to stop touching my man. It’s so annoying. Talaga bang kailangan hawakan niya sa braso, sa cheeks at kung saan-saan parte ang asawa ko habang kinakausap niya?

“Ouch!”  Sigaw ko ng matusok ng karayom ang daliri ko.

“Mag-ingat ka kasi. Kung saan-saan ka tumitingin.”  Sabi ni aling Sonia.

Hindi ko matanggal ang mga mata ko sa kanila. May tiwala ako sa asawa ko pero sa babaeng yan WALA! Pagkatapos nilang mag-usap lumapit sa akin si Tristan.

“Mahal, pinapatawag ako ni senor Jaime.”  Paalam niya sa akin.

“Go.”  I said.

He chuckled. Lumuhod siya sa harap ko at pinisil ang mukha ko.  “Kiss mo muna ako bago ako umalis.”

“Ano ka ba? Nakakahiya.”  Mahinang sabi ko.

“Sige na, isa lang.”  Pilit niya.

“Ikaw lalaki ka, akala mo isang taon mong hindi makikita itong asawa mo.”  Tumawa si aling Sonia.

“Aling Sonia, sabihin mo nga sa masungit na asawa ko na halikan na ako nang makaalis na.”  Tristan said with his paawa face.

“O, halikan mo na nga yan ng makaalis na.”  Sabi ni aling Sonia.

“Tristan, let’s go.”  Lumapit sa amin si Valerie.

Tristan gave me a quick peck on the lips.  “Kailangan ko na umalis, mahal ko.”

Bago siya tumayo hinawakan ko ang mukha niya.  “Be a good boy.”  Pasimpleng sabi ko.

“Hindi mo na ako kailangan paalalahanan. Good boy naman ako.”   He smiled.  “I love you, mahal.”

“I love you, too.”  Sabi ko.

Tumayo siya at humarap kay Valerie. 

“Let’s go?”  Sabi ni Valerie at tumango si Tristan.  “Bye, Andi. Don’t worry ako ang bahala dito sa asawa mo.”  She gave me a sweet smile bago siya kumapit sa braso ni Tristan.

Hindi ako nakasagot. Gusto kong hatakin si Tristan palayo sa kanya pero wala akong nagawa. Pinanood ko lang sila na sumakay ng kotse at umalis. Ganun ba ka-importante ang asawa ko sa daddy niya na kailangan siya pa mismo ang magsundo sa kanya? Noong una iniisip ko na naiinsecure lang ako sa kanya pero ngayon naniniwala na talaga akong gusto niya ang asawa ko. 

“Mukhang masyadong magaan ang loob ni senorita sa asawa mo.”  Pansin ni aling Sonia. Hindi lang pala ako ang nakakahalata. Pati pala ibang tao.

Hindi ako mapakali habang naghihintay kay Tristan. Naiinis ako tuwing iisip kong posibleng kasama niya si Valerie ngayon. Gabi na ng marinig ko ang paparating na kotse at agad akong dumungaw sa bintana. Ang pink car ni Valerie ang nakita ko.

Bumaba si Tristan at pinagbuksan niya ng pinto si Valerie.

“Salamat, Val.”  Sabi ni Tristan. Aba! May pa-Val Val na siya ngayon!

“No, problem.”  She flashed her pearly white teeth.  “Pupunta si daddy bukas sa kabilang bayan, daaanan na lang kita bukas.”

“Nakakahiya naman. Ako na lang pupunta sa inyo.”  Tanggi ni Tristan.

Hinawakan ni Valerie ang kamay niya.  “Nahihiya ka pa sakin? Akala ko ba magkaibigan na tayo?”

“Oo nga pero…”  Binawi ni Tristan ang kamay niya.  “Ang dami niyo nang natulong sa amin ng asawa ko. Ayoko naman isipin niyo na umaabuso kami.”

“Ano ka ba kahit kailan hindi ko inisip yun. Ako naman ang nag-alok di ba?”  She touched Tristan’s face. Hindi na ako nakatiis. I can’t just watch and let that woman touch my husband.

“Mahal ko, nandyan ka na pala.”  Pareho silang napatingin sa akin nang magsalita ako. Umalis ako sa bintana para lumabas sa bahay at nilapitan ko sila.

He put his hand around my waist. I grabbed his head and kissed him hard in front of Valerie. Hindi naman ako pinigilan ni Tristan. Gusto kong ipakita sa kanya na akin lang ang asawa ko. I heard her clear her throat. 

I pulled away from the kiss and looked at Valerie. I gave her a wry smile.  “Good evening, Valerie.”

“Good evening.”  Pilit ang ngiting sabi niya. Tumingin siya kay Tristan.  “Well, I better go now.”

“Salamat ulit.”  Sabi ni Tristan at  tumango lang si Valerie bago sumakay sa kotse niya. Pagkaalis na pagkaalis ng babaeng yun kinurot ko si Tristan sa tagiliran.

“Aray, mahal.”  Kinuha niya ang kamay ko.

“May Val ka pang nalalaman!”  Binawi ko ang kamay ko at lumayo sa kanya. 

Narinig ko siyang tumawa bago ako hinatak pabalik sa kanya.  “Nagseselos na naman ba ang mahal ko?”

“Hinahayaan mong hawak-hawakan ka lang ng babaeng iyon.”  Galit na sabi ko.

“Mahal ko, umiiwas naman ako hangga’t maaari.”  Paliwanag niya.

“Are you with her the whole day?” 

“Si sir Jaime ang kasama ko buong araw. Nagsampa siya ng kaso sa mga lalaking nangharang sa kanya.” 

I finally calmed down sa sinabi niya. He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes.

“Wala ka bang tiwala sakin?”  Seryosong tanong niya.

“Meron kaso… I’m scared na baka maagaw ka niya sa akin.”  Pag-aamin ko.

“Hindi mangyayari yun. Sayong-sayo lang ako, mahal ko. Pa-kiss nga.”  Hinatak niya ako at hinalikan sa labi. 

“Kumain ka na ba?”  Tanong ko nang maghiwalay ang mga labi namin.

“Hindi pa. Inaaya nga ako ni sir Jaime kanina kaso ikaw ang gusto kong kasabay maghapunan.” 

“Hinintay din kita kaya di na muna ako kumain. Let’s go inside na.”  Aya ko sa kanya.

“Mamaya, yung dessert ko ah.”  Pilyong sabi niya.

Tristan’s POV

 Nagising ako sa tunog ng cellphone at agad kong inabot iyon mula sa ilalim ng unan. Pilit kong dinilat ang mga mata ko at sinagot ang telepono. Wala naman ibang tatawag dun kung hindi si sir Jaime. Binigyan niya ako ng cellphone para di na daw siya mahirapan kontakin ako kapag kailangan niya ako.

“Tristan.”  Narinig ko ang boses ng matanda sa kabilang linya.

“Sir Jaime, magandang umaga.”  Sabi ko.

“Magandang umaga rin sa’yo. Maghanda ka at may pupuntahan tayo ngayon.”  Sabi niya.

“Opo, sir.”  Sagot ko naman.

Pagkatapos namin mag-usap ni sir Jaime ay ibinaba ko na ang cellphone. Dahan-dahan kong inangat ang ulo ni Andi na nakaunan sa braso ko at maingat na ibinaba sa unan. Gumalaw siya at niyakap ang unan ngunit hindi siya nagising.

Hinalikan ko siya sa noo bago ako pumunta sa banyo at naligo. Ilang linggo pa lang kami dito at marami na kaming naging kaibigan. Tama nga si Valerie talagang mababait ang mga tao dito. Tahimik rin ang lugar at walang gulo hindi katulad sa Maynila. Pwede na kaming manirahan dito habang buhay. Dito na kami bubuo ng pamilya, magpapalaki ng mga anak namin at tatanda. Hindi kami magugutom dito dahil nagkalat ang sari-saring tanim ng mga gulay at puno sa buong hacienda. 

Pagkatapos kong maligo agad akong nagsuot ng damit. Binigyan kami ni sir Jaime ng pera pangbili ng mga damit at iba pang mga gamit na kailangan namin dahil nga wala kaming nadala kahit ano nang umalis kami sa Maynila.

“Mahal, aalis ka?”  Bumangon si Andi mula sa kama. Naghagilap siya ng damit at ng makita niya ang tshirt ko sa tabi ng kama ay sinuot niya iyon.

“Oo, pinapatawag ako ni sir Jaime.”  Sabi ko.

“Gusto mo munang kumain?”  Tanong niya. Lumapit siya sa akin at yumakap mula sa likod ko.

“Hindi na. Nakakahiya naman kay sir kung paghihintayin ko pa siya.”  Sabi ko.

“Okay, kumain ka dun ah. Don’t skip breakfast.” 

“Opo, ma’am.”  Pabirong sabi ko bago humarap sa kanya.  “Kailangan ko na umalis.”

“Bye, mahal ko. I love you.”  Sabi niya bago ako dinampian ng halik sa labi.

“I love you, too.” 

Lumabas na ako sa bahay at naglakad papunta sa mansyon. Ilang beses akong inalok ni Valerie na magsundo at maghatid sa akin ngunit tinatanggihan ko yun. Ayokong may masabi ang ibang mga tao, lalo na si sir Jaime at isa pa nagseselos si Andi sa kanya. Hindi rin naman kalayuan ang mansyon, siguro aabutin lang ng mga sampung minutong paglalakad lang mula sa bahay hanggang sa mansyon.

“Hi, Tristan!”  Malambing na bati ni Valerie.  “Ang aga mo.”

“Pinatawag kasi ako ng daddy mo.”  Sabi ko.

“Ah ganun ba? Halika, samahan mo kaming magbreakfast.”  Hinawakan ako ni Valerie sa kamay at hinatak papunta sa dining room. Nakaupo si sir Jaime sa dulo ng mahabang mesa habang kumakain at nagbabasa ng dyaryo.

“Daddy, nandito na si Tristan.”  Sabi ni Valerie.

Napaangat ng tingin sa akin si sir Jaime at ngumiti.  “O, hijo, saluhan mo muna kami sa agahan.”

“Salamat na lang ho, sir.”  Nahihiyang sabi ko.

“Hindi ka pwedeng tumanggi kay daddy, right dad?”  Tumingin siya sa ama.

“Oo nga naman. Maupo ka dito.”  Sabi ni sir Jaime.

Sinunod ko na lang siya. Umupo ako sa bandang kaliwa ng mesa at umupo naman si Valerie sa harap ko. Nag-usap kaming tatlo habang kumakain sa mesa. Talagang napalapit ang loob ko sa mag-amang dahil sa kabaitan nila. Minsan nga lang may pagka-spoiled talaga si Valerie pero tolerable naman, minsan naman nakakatuwa siya kasama at kakuwentuhan.

Nang matapos kaming kumain nag-aya na si sir Jaime na umalis.

“Daddy, saan kayo pupunta?”  Tanong ni Valerie.

“Sa kumpare kong si Carlos sa kabilang bayan. Inimbitahan niya ako dahil birthday ng anak niya.”  Sabi ni sir Jaime.

“Oh, daddy can I come?” 

“Hindi na, mababagot ka na naman at mag-aaya ka na naman umuwi.”  Sagot ng ama niya.

“Daddy, di ako mabobored dahil kasama naman si Tristan. Saka baka mabored din si Tristan wala naman siyang kilala dun.”  Dahilan ni Valerie.

“Okay, sige na. Pero huwag ka na magrereklamo o mag-aayang umuwi agad.” 

“Okay, I’ll just get my bag.”  Sabi niya bago umalis para kuhanin ang bag niya sa taas.

Pagkaraan ng halos dalawangpung minuto ay sa wakas  bumaba na rin ang anak ni sir Jaime. Nag-ayos pa pala si Valerie. Nagsuot siya maikling palda na kulay puti at pink na spaghetti strapped na pang-itaas habang dala-dala niya ang pink na bag niya. Siguro kung kukulayan niya ng blonde ang itim na itim na buhok niya magmumukha na siyang barbie doll.

“Let’s go?”  Nakangiting tanong niya pagbaba sa hagdan.

Umikot ang mga mata ni sir Jaime at napasimangot.  “Buti naman at naisipan mo pang bumaba.”

“Sorry, daddy. I have to look pretty. Ayokong mapahiya ka sa mga friends mo.”  Humagikgik si Valerie.

“O, siya, siya umalis na tayo.”  Sabi na lang ni sir Jaime.

Lumabas na kami sa mansyon at sumakay sa kotse. Ako ang nagmaneho ng kotse habang si sir Jaime ay nasa tabi ko at si Valerie naman ang nakaupo sa likod. Huminto kami sa isang simpleng bahay na may dalawang palapag at malawak na bakuran. Sa bakuran na iyon ay maraming taong nagkakasiyahan. May mga nagkakaraoke, kumakain at umiinom.

Ibinaba ni sir Jaime ang bintana ng kotse at lumapit ang isang lalaki.  “Jaime, pare! Buti naman at nakadalo ka.”

“Syempre, alam mo naman na hindi ako makaka-hindi sa’yo.”  Sagot niya.  “Kasama ko nga pala itong si Tristan at ang anak kong si Valerie.”

Kumaway sa akin ang lalaki at tumingin sa likod kung nasaan si Valerie.  “Yan na ba ang anak mo? Ang laki na ah. Huling beses na nakita ko yan ang liit pa niya.”

“Oo nga, himala ngang sumama sa akin yan dito.”  Si sir Jaime.

Bumaba kami sa kotse at napilitan makihalubilo sa mga nagkakasiyahan. Inalok kami ng makakain, kakakain lang namin sa mansyon kaya tumanggi ako ganun din si Valerie. Si sir Jaime naman ay nakipag-inuman sa mga kaibigan niya.

“Hey, watch it!”  Inis na sabi ni Valerie ng mabangga siya ng nagtatakbuhang mga bata.  “Ugh! I wanna get out of here. Umalis na nga tayo dito.”

“Hindi ba sabi mo kay sir Jaime hindi ka magpapauwi?”  Sabi ko.

“Hindi naman ako magpapauwi. May mall na malapit dito.”  Ngumiti siya sa akin.

“Tanong mo muna ang daddy mo, baka pag umalis tayo bigla tayong hanapin.”  Sabi ko.

Lumapit siya kay sir Jaime para magpaalam. Nakangiti siyang bumalik sa kinatatayuan ko at alam ko na agad na pumayag ang matanda. 

“Pumayag na si daddy.”  Masayang sabi niya.

Sumakay kami sa kotse at ako ulit ang nagmaneho. Itinuro niya sa akin ang direksyon papunta sa mall. 

“Tignan mo ’to, Tristan. Bagay sa’yo ito.”  Itinapat niya sa katawan ko ang isang itim na polo shirt.   “You want this?”

“Uhm, hindi ko kailangan yan.”  Sabi ko.

“Sige na, treat ko naman.”  Pilit niya.

“Huwag na.”  Kinuha ko sa kanya ang polo shirt at ibinalik sa rack. 

“Sige na! Please, pumayag ka na.”  Pagmamakaawa niya.  “Basta, ibibili ko ang shirt na yun para sa’yo. Dagdag pogi points yun.” 

“Hindi ko na kailangan yun. Mas gusto ni Andi pag wala akong suot.”  Biro ko.

“Ay ganun? You’re so naughty ah.”  Natatawang sabi niya.  “I can’t blame your wife. I bet you really look good naked.”

Tumawa na lang din ako sa sinabi niya. Lumabas kami sa botique na iyon at namasyal.

“You know, Tristan, I really like you.”  Pag-amin niya sa akin habang naglalakad kami.  “Ang gaang talaga ng loob ko sa’yo una pa lang kitang nakita.”

Hindi ako nakapagsalita, Ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin? Sa totoo lang, magaan din ang loob ko kay Valerie kahit na may pagka-brat siya. Hindi ko naman masasabing gusto ko siya pero nakakatuwa siyang kasama. Alam kong si Andi ang mahal ko at kahit kailan hindi magbabago iyon.

“Do you love your wife?”  Tanong niya.

“Mahal na mahal.”  Agad na sagot ko.

“Ang swerte niya naman.” 

“Ako nga ang maswerte sa kanya. Si Andi lang ang nagpakita at nagturo sa akin kung paano magmahal.”  Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti habang sinasabi ko iyon.

“Gosh! Stop it! Lalo lang kitang nagugustuhan sa mga sinasabi mo.”  Bumuntong-hininga siya.

Tumawa ako.  “Balang-araw may darating din para sayo… iyon ay kung babawasan mo ang pagiging mataray mo. Sige ka, baka tumanda kang dalaga niyan.” 

“Ha-ha!”  Sarkastikong sabi niya bago ako inirapan. 

Pagkatapos niyang mamasyal at nakapamili na siya ng mga bagong damit ay nag-aya ng bumalik si Valerie sa daddy niya at tamang-tama naman ang dating namin dahil nag-aya na rin si sir Jaime na umuwi.

Pag-uwi ko nadatnan ko si Andi na nasa kama at himbing na himbing sa pagtulog. Ang aga naman matulog ng mahal ko hindi man lang ako hinintay. Humiga ako sa tabi niya at hinatak siya palapit sa akin. Yumakap siya sa akin at ipinikit ko na ang mga mata ko.

Chapter Twenty Nine

Andi’s POV

Argh! Gosh! Bakit di na magkasya itong shorts na ito. Kabibili lang namin ni Tristan nito. Tinignan ko ang label sa likod ng shorts baka nagkamali kami ng size na binili pero tama naman. Twenty four. Pinilit kong isara ang butones pero ayaw talaga.

“Mahal ko, ano’ng ginagawa mo?”  Tanong ni Tristan ng makita ako.

“Hindi kasya sa akin itong shorts.”  Maktol ko.

Lumapit siya sa akin at sinubukan isara ang shorts ko,  “Hiyang na hiyang ka kasi sa mga pagkain dito kaya tumataba ka na.”  Natatawang sabi niya.  “Yung bestida na lang na binili natin ang isuot mo.”

We both gave up! Hindi na talaga kasya sa akin. Nagsuot na lang ako ng simpleng dress at sinuklay ang buhok ko sa harap ng salamin. I looked at my body in the mirror. I DID gain weight. Hindi ko kasi mapigil ang kumain. Ang sarap kasi ng mga pagkain dito, especially yung mga fruits. 

Na concious tuloy ako. I used to be conscious about being too thin. Ngayon, I’m worried I might get fat. Kasi naman si Valerie, she’s so skinny. If I get fat baka magustuhan ni Tristan si Valerie. No, stop it, brain! Sabi ni Tristan ako lang ang mahal niya. Sabi niya ako lang ang babaeng mamahalin niya. Naniniwala ako kay Tristan. 

“Mahal, am I really fat?”  Tanong ko sa kanya. Nakaupo siya sa maliit na mesa and he was having his breakfast.

Binitawan niya ang hawak niyang baso na kape at tumingin sa akin. His eyes examined my body. Matagal niya akong tinignan bago sumagot.  “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Binobola mo na ko.”  I said irritated. Hinatak niya ang isang kamay ko hanggang mapaupo ako sa kandungan niya.

“Sexy ka nga.” Yumakap siya sa akin.

“What if tumaba ako ng tumaba… would you still love me?”  Tanong ko.

“Bakit ba conscious na conscious ka sa katawan mo?”  He nuzzled his nose against my neck.

“You can’t even answer my question!”  Galit na sabi ko. Pilit kong tinanggal ang kamay niya na nakapulupot sa akin.

Tumawa lang siya at hinigpitan lalo ang yakap.  “Hindi ka nga mataba at saka ano naman kung tumaba ka? Mamahalin kita kahit ikaw ang pinakamatabang babae sa mundo, because I love you just the ‘weigh’ you are. Get it? Weigh.”

“Mahal ko, ang corny mo talaga.”  Hindi ko na napigilan ang matawa. 

“O, di ba, napatawa kita.”  He gave me a kiss on the cheek.  “Kumain ka na, mahal. Huwag ka magda-diet ah. Alam mo kahit ano pang kilo mo ikaw lang ang babaeng titignan ko.”

Sinubuan niya ako ng pandesal. I smiled at him before taking a bite.

Pagkatapos kumain napatingin siya sa relo niya. “Mahal, kailangan ko na umalis. May pupuntahan kami ni sir Jaime.”  

“Kasama niyo si Valerie?”  Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong magtanong.

Nagkibit-balikat siya.  “Ewan ko. Baka.”

Napasimangot ako. I tried to control and ignore my jealousy but sometimes I just can’t help it. It’s not that I don’t trust Tristan, pakiramdam ko kasi gusto siya ni Valerie.

“O, yan ka na naman eh.”  He lifted up my chin with his fingers.  “Ilang beses ko bang kailangan sabihin sa’yo na hindi ka dapat magselos.”

“I’m not jealous.”  Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya.

“Kunwari ka pa. Ang cute cute talaga ng mahal ko kapag nagseselos.” 

“I said, I’m not jealous.”  Inis na ulit ko.

“Okay, hindi na.”  He pinched my nose.  “Ba’t ba ang init ng ulo mo ngayon?”

  “Hindi mainit ang ulo ko.”  Sumimangot ako. 

He laughed. “Sige, sabi mo eh. Alis na ko, bye mahal.”

He gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the lips before leaving. 

Tristan’s POV

Hindi sumama si Valerie sa pupuntahan namin dahil dumating ang mga kaibigan niya na galing pa sa Maynila. Bago kami umalis, nagpapitas pa si sir Jaime ng mga bulaklak galing sa hardin nila. Lihim akong napangiti, mukhang aakyat pa yata ng ligaw ang matanda.

Tinuro ni sir Jaime ang direksyon sa pupuntahan namin hanggang sa patigilin niya ang kotse sa harap ng sementeryo. Mataas ang lugar kaya kitang-kita ang kagandahan ng buong probinsya. Makikita mula dito ang berdeng-berdeng mga burol at kapag tumingin ka naman sa baba makikita mo ang asul na lawa.

“Hijo, gusto mo bang sumama sa akin?”  Tanong ni sir Jaime.

“Sige po, sir.”  Sagot ko.

Bumaba kami ng kotse at pumasok sa sementeryo. Tahimik ang lugar at walang tao. Naglakad kami ng konti bago huminto sa isang puntod. Ipinatong niya ang bulaklak doon at umupo.  Rebecca Callanta-Zamora , iyon ang pangalan na nakaukit doon.

“May bagong bisita ka ngayon.”  Nakangiting sabi ni sir Jaime habang nakatingin sa puntod.  “Kasama ko itong si Tristan. Siya ang nagligtas ng buhay ko. Hindi pa kasi kita pwedeng samahan d’yan dahil kailangan pa ako ng bunso natin. Hay, Becca, tama ka nga sa sinabi mo noon na namana ni Valerie ang katigasan ng ulo niya sa akin.”

“Ang anak kaya natin na si Dominic, kumusta na kaya siya? Sana naman naging maganda ang buhay niya. Hindi pa rin ako tumitigil sa paghahanap sa panganay natin. Mabubuo din ang pamilya natin, hindi ba ipinangako ko sa’yo yun?”  Nagsimula siyang magsindi ng kandila at nagdasal pagkatapos.  “Becca, kailangan ko ng umalis. Dadalawin na lang ulit kita.”

Tumayo na si sir Jaime at sumunod ako sa kanya pabalik sa kotse. Nakakatuwa isip na kahit wala na ang asawa niya hindi pa rin nawawala ang pagmamahal ni sir Jaime para sa kanya.

Bumalik na kami sa hacienda pagkagaling sa sementeryo.

“Daddy…”  Sinalubong agad kami ni Valerie pagkapasok sa mansyon kasunod niya ang tatlo pa niyang kaibigan na babae.

“Oh my god, he’s really hot pala talaga.”  Bulong ng isang babaeng katabi ni Valerie. Siniko niya ito ng mahina.

“What is it, sweetheart?”  Tanong ni sir Jaime.

“Can we borrow, Tristan? Magpapasama lang kami maghorseback riding.” 

“Bakit hindi si mang Ernie ang isama mo? Yun ang maraming alam sa mga kabayo. Itong si Tristan galing ito sa Maynila at wala siyang alam sa mga yan.”  Sabi ni sir Jaime.

“Dad, may alam din ako sa mga horses. Kailangan lang namin ng magbabantay sa amin.”  Si Valerie.

“Mr. Zamora, please let us borrow Tristan. Para kung may maaksidente man sa amin nandyan siya, right girls?”  Sabi ng isa sa mga kaibigan ni Valerie at um-oo naman ang tatlo.

Tumingin sa akin si sir Jaime.  “Okay lang ba, Tristan?”

Sino ba naman ako para hindi-an ang lalaking tumulong sa amin ni Andi.  “Ako na pong bahala sa kanila, sir Jaime.”

Ngumiti siya sa akin.  “Salamat, hijo. Aakyat na muna ako.”

Pagkasabi ay umalis na si sir Jaime. 

“My name’s Amy.”  Pakilala ng isang kaibigan ni Valerie.

“I’m Trina.” 

“And I’m Venus.” 

“Ako si Tristan.”  Pormal na sabi ko sa kanila.

“Yeah, we know. Ikaw kaya bukang-bibig nitong si Valerie simula ng dumating kami dito.”  Trina giggled.

“Whatever!”  Inirapan ni Valerie ang kaibigan.  “Ano ba magkukuwentuhan na lang ba tayo dito or what?”

Naunang lumabas si Valerie, sinundan ko siya at sumunod din ang tatlong babae sa akin. Sumakay ulit ako sa kotse, sa driver’s seat habang si Valerie ay nakaupo sa tabi ko. Nasa likod naman ang tatlo.

“Ilang taon ka na Tristan?”  Inilapit ni Amy ang ulo niya sa akin mula sa likod.

“Twenty-seven.”  Maikling sagot ko.

“Single?”  Si Venus naman ang nagtanong.

“May asawa na ako.”

“Seryoso?!”  Hindi makapaniwalang sabi ni Venus.

“Yes.”   Sabi ko.

“Oh, Tristan, you should’ve waited for me.”  Sabi naman ni Amy at natawa silang magkakaibigan.

Hininto ko ang sasakyan sa harap ng kwadra ng kabayo, nag-unahan tumakbo palabas ng kotse ang apat na babae.

“Tristan, c’mon.”  Aya sa akin ni Valerie.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako bago napilitang bumaba ng kotse. 

“Tristan, help me naman oh.”  Sabi ni Venus.  “Tulungan mo akong umakyat sa kabayo.”

“Me first, Tristan.”  Sabi naman ni Amy.

“Nooo. Ako muna!”  Sigaw ni Trina. Daig ko pa yata ang nagbebaby sit ng mga bata. Gusto kong magsisi kung bakit pumayag pa akong samahan ang mga babaeng ito.

Isa-isa ko silang tinulungan sumakay sa kanilang mga kabayo. 

“Ikaw? Hindi ka ba sasakay sa kabayo?”  Tanong ko kay Valerie na nakahalupkipkip ang mga kamay.

“No. Sinamahan ko lang naman sila eh.”  Sabi niya.  “Pasensya ka na pala sa kanila. Alam kong naiinis ka na sa kanila.”

“Hindi naman masyado.”  Tanggi ko.

“Hindi naman masyadong halata?”  Natatawang sabi niya.

“Parang ganun na nga.”  Sabi ko. 

Lumabas kami sa kwadra at pinanood ang tatlong babae.

“Pinuntahan na naman ni daddy si mommy kanina, ano?”  Tanong ni Valerie.

“Oo, kala ko nga aakyat ng ligaw si sir kanina dahil may bulaklak pang dala.” 

Ngumiti si Valerie.  “Palagi niyang dinadalan ng bulaklak si mommy. Ano na naman kinuwento ni daddy kay mommy?”

“Matigas daw ulo mo.”  Sabi ko at tumawa lang si Valerie.  “At sabi niya di pa rin siya tumitigil sa paghahanap kay Dominic.”

“Sana mahanap na nga ni daddy si kuya Dominic.”

“Ano nga bang nangyari sa kuya mo?”  Hindi ko napigilan ang magtanong.

“Hindi ko pa siya nakikita kahit kailan.  Sabi ni daddy, two years old pa lang si kuya Dominic nang mawala siya. Fiesta daw dito noong nangyari iyon maraming bisita tapos naaliw daw sa pakikipagkuwentuhan yung yaya ni kuya. Nang maalala siya ng yaya niya wala na siya.”  Kuwento ni Valerie.  Marami siyang naikuwento sa akin tungkol sa sarili niya at sa pamilya niya. Papalubog na ang araw ng mapagod ang tatlong babae at mag-ayang umuwi.

“Tristan, ido-drop off ka na lang namin sa inyo tapos ako na magda-drive papunta sa mansyon.”  Sabi ni Valerie habang nagmamaneho ako.

“Okay lang sa’yo?”  Tanong ko.

“Sure. Para naman makauwi ka na ng diretso.”

“Kung gusto mo doon ka na rin matulog sa mansyon, sa tabi ko.”  Sabi ni Amy.

“Yeah, Tristan, do you wanna sleep with us?”  Tanong naman ni Trina.

“Girls, tigilan niyo na nga si Tristan.”  Saway ni Valerie.

“No, thanks. Mas gusto kong matulog kasama ang asawa ko.”  Sagot ko kay Trina.

“Aww…”   Sabay-sabay na sabi ng tatlong babae. 

“Ang faithful mo naman na husband.”  Sabi ni Venus.  “Pwede akin ka na lang?”

Natatawang umiling-iling ako. Ininterview nila ako ng ininterview hanggang sa makarating na ako sa tapat ng bahay namin. Hay salamat at makakalayo na ako sa mga babaeng ito. Agad kong nakita si Andi na nakaupo sa labas ng bahay.

“Buh bye, Tristan!”  Paalam nila sa akin. Bumaba ako ng kotse at lumapit kay Andi.

“Bakit nandito ka?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“Tristan!”  Napalingon ako ng tawagin ako ni Venus. Nakadungaw siya sa bintana ng kotse.  “Goodnight! Mwah.”  Nag-flying kiss pa siya.

Biglang tumayo si Andi sa kinauupuan niya at padabog na pumasok sa bahay. Sumunod ako sa kanya sa loob.

“Mahal, walang ibig sabihin iyon.”  Agad na sabi ko.

“Bakit? Nagtatanong ba ako?”  Walang bahid ng kahit anong emosyon sa mukha niya.

“Mahal naman.”  Yumakap ako sa kanya.

Tinanggal niya ang mga kamay kong nakapulupot sa baywang niya at lumayo sa akin. 

“Mahal huwag ka naman magalit sa akin.”  Sabi ko.

 Tumingin siya sa akin at humugot ng malalim na hininga.  “I’m not mad…”

“Hindi ka galit?”  Lumapit ako sa kanya at iniharap ang mukha niya sa akin.

Nagbaba siya ng tingin bago yumuko. Yumugyog ang mga balikat niya at humagulgol siya. I pulled her to my chest and hugged her. Hinagod ko ang likod niya habang umiiyak siya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla na lang siyang umiyak.

“Mahal, bakit ka ba umiiyak?” 

“I don’t know.”  Humihikbing sabi niya.

“Ano’ng ‘you don’t know’? Pwede ba yun?”  Tanong ko.

Tinulak niya ang dibdb ko at pilit kumawala sa pagkakayakap.  “Eh, sa hindi ko alam!” 

Ano ba naman itong babaeng ito? Iiyak tapos biglang magsusungit. Naku, kung hindi ko lang mahal ang babaeng ito.

“Ano bang nangyayari sa’yo?”  Nag-aalalang tanong ko.

“Ikaw kasi, nagutom na ako kakahintay sa’yo.”  Lumabi siya.

Tumawa ako. Gutom lang pala ang mahal ko kaya tinotopak. 

“Bakit ka natatawa?”  Salubong ang kilay na tanong ni Andi.

Umiling ako.  “Lika na nga, kumain na tayo para mawala na yang init ng ulo mo.”

Nakahanda na sa la mesa ang niluto ni Andi na adobo. Kumuha ako ng dalawang plato at kutsara’t tinidor at inilipag ko iyon sa mesa. Nagsimula na kaming kumain.

“Stop it!”  Bigla siyang sumigaw habang kumakain kami.

“Stop what?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“Stop chewing so loud. It’s annoying.”  Nakasimangot na sabi niya.

Ganito naman ako kumain noon pa? Ang dami naman napapansin ng babaeng ito. Nagdahan-dahan na lang ako sa pagnguya para hindi na siya mainis.

 

Andi’s POV

I don’t understand myself. I just feel so tired and cranky all day. Hindi ko mapigilan hindi mainis kay Tristan. Everything he does irritates me. He isn’t even doing anything wrong and I feel really bad. Kanina hindi pa yata siya nakakain mabuti dahil nagreklamo ako sa pagnguya niya. 

“Mahal…” Nakahiga na kami ngayon sa kama. I scooted closer to him. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry saan?”  Tanong niya.

“Sorry for being a bitch.” 

“Okay lang yun. Siguro pagod ka lang kaya magpahinga ka na.”  He started stroking my hair. 

“You still love me kahit naging mean ako sa’yo?” 

“Oo naman. Kahit gaano ka pa ka topakin ngayon hindi mawawala ang pagmamahal ko sa’yo.”

“Huwag kang maghahanap ng ibang girl ah.”

“Never.”

“I love you.”  I kissed him on the cheek.

“Dito din.”  Ngumuso siya.

I giggled before giving him a kiss on the lips. I felt him smile against my lips and then he grabbed me and pulled me on top of him.

Chapter Thirty

“Naku, Andi, ikaw palagi ang suki ko sa halo-halo.”  Natatawang sabi ni aling Emma. Halos araw-araw kasi palagi akong bumibili ng halo-halo dito. I’m always craving for something sweet. Kapag hindi na satisfy ang craving ko I would get really upset the whole day. 

“Masarap po kasi.”  I smiled.

“Kaya nga tumataba yan, aling Emma. Ang takaw kasi sa halo-halo.”  Sabi ni Tristan.  “Halo-halo mo lang nakakatanggal ng init ng ulo niyan.”

“Tikman mo kasi, mahal. It taste so good.”  Nilapit ko kay Tristan ang spoon at sinubo niya naman.  “Mmm… masarap nga.”

“See? Sabi sa’yo.” 

“Tristan, lika’t samahan mo kong mag-ani ng gulay.”  Tawag sa kanya ni mang Ando.  

“Sige ho.”  Tumango si Tristan bago humarap sa akin. “Sandali lang mahal ko. Kukuha lang kami ng mauulam natin mamaya.”

“Okay.”  Sabi ko. Hinalikan niya ako sa noo bago umalis at sumama kay mang Ador.

Nang maubos ko na ang halo-halo tumayo na ako sa upuan. I felt dizzy again. Napahawak ako sa mesa. 

“Okay ka lang ba, Andi?”  Nag-aalalang tanong ni aling Emma. Pinaupo niya ulit ako sa silya.  “Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo?”

“It’s so weird. Palagi akong nahihilo, palaging masama ang pakiramdam ko, palagi akong inaantok, palagi din akong gutom.”  Sabi ko. I’m really getting sick of this. Sometimes ok naman ako, pero there are days when I’m just not ok. Like the other day, I woke up with this weird feeling in my stomach. I thought I was going to vomit but nothing came out. 

“Teka, kailan ka ba huling dinatnan?” Tanong ni aling Emma.

“Dinatnan?”

 

“Oo, kailan ka huling nagkaroon ng buwanang dalaw?”

Napaisip ako. Kailan nga ba ang huling period ko? Hindi na pumasok sa isip ko yun dahil sa dami ng nangyari sa amin. But I’m sure I was supposed to have my period like two or three weeks ago pa.

“Hindi kaya nagdadalang-tao ka na?”  Nakangiting sabi ni aling Emma. Oh my god. She could be right. Baka buntis na nga ako. Bakit hindi ko naisip yun? I’m sure matutuwa si Tristan pagnalaman niyang magkaka-baby na kami. May trabaho na siya, comfortable na naman ang buhay namin dito. Hindi na magiging problema kung sakaling magkaron nga kami ng baby. 

“Hindi po ako sigurado.”  Sabi ko. 

“Tamang-tama, dadalhin ko sa center ang anak ko bukas. Sumama ka sa amin para masiguro na kung nagdadalang-tao ka nga o hindi. Pero malakas ang pakiramdam kong buntis ka na nga. Naririnig ko kasi kayo gabi-gabi.”

I blushed. We really tried our hardest to keep quiet everytime we do it. Sometimes I just bite my pillow or make out with him while we do it to muffle the sound.

“Nagbibiro lang ako.”  Tumawa siya. “Basta bukas, sumama ka sa amin para mabigyan ka na rin ng mga vitamins para sa baby.”

“Sige po.”  Sabi ko. 

Nang mawala na ang hilo ko umuwi na ako sa bahay para magpahinga. Hinawakan ko ang tiyan ko at napangiti ako. I really hope and pray I’m pregnant. I can’t wait for tomorrow, gusto ko na malaman kung buntis talaga ako. Ngayon pa lang ang dami ng tumatakbo sa isip ko. I’m already imagining how he or she would look like, sana kamukha ni Tristan. Gusto ko lalaki ang maging first child namin para mapagtatanggol niya ang magiging little sister niya.

“Mahal ko.”  Niyakap ko siya pagdating niya sa bahay.

“Sandali lang ako umalis, na miss mo agad ako?”  He said, laughing.

I showered him with kisses.  “I… love… you… so… much…”

“Ano bang nangyayari sa’yo?”  Nakangiting tanong niya.  “Minsan ang sungit-sungit mo ngayon ang sweet mo naman.”

“I’m just so happy.”  Sabi ko.

“Bakit? Ano’ng nangyari habang wala ako?” 

“Nothing.”  I answered.  I decided not to tell him muna. I want to make sure na buntis talaga ako before I tell him. Baka pareho lang kami madisappoint kapag mali pala ang akala ko.  “Masaya lang ako dahil meron akong super understanding, super bait at super pogi na husband.”

“Thank God wala na ang sapi mo.”  Sabi niya.  “Bumalik na ang mahal ko.”

“Please don’t ever get tired of me kahit minsan nasusungitan kita.”  Sabi ko. Anak mo naman ang may kasalanan nito.

“I won’t. Alam ko naman konting lambing lang sa’yo okay ka na.”  He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to  him. 

Nakaupo kami sa ilalim ng puno. Nakaupo ako sa pagitan ng mga hita niya at nakasandal sa dibdib niya. 

“Paano pagnagkababy tayo?”  Tanong ko sa kanya. 

Matagal siyang hindi sumagot. 

“Tristan?”  Lumingon ako sa kanya. Bigla akong kinabahan. Ayaw niya bang magkababy kami? 

“You think we’re ready?”  Sabi niya.

“Of course.” 

“Iniisip ko pa lang yun natatakot na ako.”  Hestarted playing with my hair.  “Paano kung hindi pa tayo handa? I mean… oo nga, may tinitirhan na tayo ngayon at may trabaho na ako pero hindi ko alam kung paano maging isang ama dahil lumaki akong walang ama. I’m scared I’ll mess up. I don’t want my child to go through the same hell I did.”

“Ang negative mo talaga. Hindi mangyayari yun kasi our child will have the best dad in the world.”  I took his hand and kissed his knuckle. 

“Teka, bakit ba pinaguusapan natin ’to?”  Sabi niya. 

“Wala naman. I was just asking.”  I said smiling.

“Matagal pa naman yun, di ba?”  Sabi niya. No, ilang months na lang siguro. I wanted to say that to him.

  “Oo nga pala. Nagpapasama si aling Emma sa akin ngayon.”  Pag-iiba ko sa usapan.

“Saan kayo pupunta?”  Tanong niya.

“Dadalhin niya daw sa center ang anak niya.”

“Sige, basta huwag ka lang magpapagabi.”

“Yes, sir.” 

After that we just kept on talking about random stuff. Ganito naman kami palagi. Kapag hindi siya pinapatawag ni sir Jaime namamasyal kami sa buong hacienda. This place is so huge. Ilang weeks na kami dito pero may mga lugar pa kaming hindi napupuntahan. 

When we got back, sinalubong agad kami ni Valerie at ang tatlong kaibigan niya. Mga may pera naman ang mga babaeng ito but why can’t they afford clothes that would fit them? They were all wearing short shorts or skirt. 

“Hi Tristan!”  Halos magkakasabay na sabi nila.

I clutched onto Tristan’s arm, afraid they’ll snatch him from me.

“Hi, girls. Ito nga pala ang asawa kong si Andi.”  Sabi ni Tristan sa mga babae. They all looked at me nag-hi sila sa akin at bumalik ang atensyon nila sa asawa ko.

“Ano’ng ginagawa niyo dito?”  Tanong ni Tristan.

“Babalik na kami ng Manila.”  Sabi ng isang babae. Huwag na sana silang bumalik dito pati si Valerie.

“Sabi ni daddy  magpahatid daw kami sa’yo.”  Sabi ni Valerie.

“Ihahatid ko kayo hanggang Maynila?”  Gulat na tanong ni Tristan.

“No, silly. Hahatid lang natin sila hanggang sa kabilang bayan.”  Valerie said, giggling.

“But if you want pwede ka naman tumira ka na lang sa amin.”  Sabi ng kasama ni Valerie. Seriously? Nilalandi niya si Tristan sa harap ko? These girls are so pathetic. Why don’t they just take Valerie with them instead?

“Okay na ako dito.”  Tristan laughed.

“Mas gusto niya dito sa amin.”  Valerie playfully stuck her tongue out to her friends. Nangulit ng umalis ang friends ni Valerie at pumayag si Tristan na ipag-drive sila hanggang sa kabilang-bayan. 

“Aalis muna ako, mahal.”  Paalam sa akin ni Tristan.

“Ano’ng oras ka uuwi?”  Tanong ko.

“Aabutin siguro kami ng hapon kasi magshoshopping pa kami.”  Singit ni Valerie.

“Yung sinasabi ko sa’yo ah.”  Paalala ko sa kanya. I always tell him na maging good boy siya especially around Valerie and her three air-headed friends.

“Oo naman. Hindi mo na kailangan ipaalala sa akin yan.”  He hugged me and kissed me on the forehead.

“Don’t worry, we will take good care of your husband.”  Malanding sabi ng isa sa kaibigan ni Valerie. Tinitigan ko siya ng masama pero mukhang walang pakialam ang witch na yun.

Nang makaalis na si Tristan dumating naman si aling Emma buhat ang anak maliit na anak  niya. Ipapacheck up niya ang bata sa doktor dahil may sinat. Malapit lang sa hacienda ang health center na pinuntahan namin. Marami ng tao ang nakapila ng dumating kami kaya umupo muna kami habang naghihintay.

“Ano’ng sabi ng asawa mo?”  Tanong ni aling Emma.

“Hindi niya pa po alam.”  Sabi ko habang nilalaro si Eman, ang anak niya.

“Bakit hindi mo sabihin?” 

“Gusto ko po muna kasing masiguro.”  Sagot ko.

“Sigurado na yan. Ilang beses na akong nagbubuntis, napagdaanan ko na yan.”  Sabi ni aling Emma. Unang tinawag si aling Emma ng doctor. I went to see the other doctor. Sinabi ko sa kanya ang mga nararamdaman ko at tinanong niya sa akin kung kailan ako huling nakipag-sex at kailan huling period ko. Dinala niya ako sa Ob-gyne at pinagtake niya ako ng urine test. After waiting for a couple of minutes tinawag niya ulit ako.

I sat on the chair in front of her table. 

“Congrats, misis, anim na linggo ka ng buntis. Huwag kang masyadong magpapagod at palagi kang iinom ng vitamins…”  Hindi ko na narinig ang iba pa niyang sinasabi. Basta ang alam ko I’m pregnant with Tristan’s baby.

“Thank you so much, doctor.”  Naluluhang sabi ko.

“First baby niyo?”  Nakangiting tanong niya.

“Yes.” 

“Misis, huwag mong kalilimutan ang monthly check up mo. Para masiguro natin na healthy si baby.”  Binigay ng doktor sa akin ang papel kung saan nakalagay ang mga vitamins na kailangan kong inumin. Nagpasalamat ulit ako sa kanya bago nagpaalam.

“Kumusta na po si Eman?”  Tanong ko ng makita ko si aling Emma.

“Maayos naman. Binigyan lang kami ng gamot pampawala ng sinat.”  Sagot niya.  “Ano’ng sabi ng doktor sa’yo.”

“Six weeks na daw po akong buntis.”  Masayang sabi ko.

“Masaya ako para sa inyo ni Tristan. Biruin mo kakakasal niyo pa lang may baby na agad kayo. Kami ng asawa ko naghintay pa kami ng ilang taon bago nabiyayaan.” 

Tristan’s POV

Pagkatapos ng isang oras na biyahe huminto kami sa isang mall. Nagpaikot-ikot ang apat na mga babae at bumili ng kung anu-ano.

“Tristan, huwag mo kong kalilimutan.”  Humawak si Trina sa braso ko.

“Babalikan kita Tristan.”  Sabi ni Amy.

“So, babalik ka lang pala dito para kay Tristan?” Nagtatampong sabi ni Valerie.

“Ay ang arte mo, syempre para din makita ka.”  Bawi ni Amy.

“Hindi ka na welcome sa amin. Next time kung pupunta ka dito kina Tristan at Andi ka na matulog.”  Sabi ni Valerie.

“Oo ba. Basta katabi ko si Tristan.”  Si Amy.

“Sana pagbalik namin single ka na.”  Sabi ni Venus.

“Malabong mangyari yun.”  Sabi ko.  “Nasaan na nga pala ang magsusundo sa inyo?”

“Ikaw naman, parang pinaaalis mo na kami.”  Si Venus.

“Hindi naman. Nagtatanong lang.”

“Sabi ng driver namin malapit na daw siya.”  Sabi ni Trina. Good. Dahil gusto ko na talaga umuwi.

Kumain pa kami sa restaurant pagkatapos nilang magshopping. Inabot na din kami ng hapon bago tumawag ang driver nila na naghihintay na sa labas ng mall. Hinatid na namin ang tatlo hanggang sa van.

“Bye, girl.” Isa-isang nagbeso si Valerie sa tatlong babae.  “Mag-usap na lang tayo sa skype. Balik kayo dito ah.”

“Oh sure.”  Sabi ni Trina.

“Maghanap ka pa ng mga guys na kasing pogi ni Tristan. I swear, dadalawin ka namin every month.”  Sabi naman ni Venus.

“Oo nga. Dapat tatlo, one for me, one for Venus and one for Trina.”  Sabi ni Amy.

“Sige maghahanap na pa ako. Larga na kayo, lumalakas na ang ulan.”  Sabi ni Valerie.

“Bye, Tristan.”  Paalam nila sa akin.

“Bye, girls.”  Kumaway ako sa kanila.

“Uy, Tristan baka may brother ka sa Manila?”  Si Venus.

“Wala eh.” 

“Alis na.”  Sabi ni Valerie bago isinara ang pinto ng van. Pinanood namin na umalis ang van hanggang sa maglaho na ito sa paningin namin. Lalong lumakas ang buhos ng ulan pagkaalis nila.

“Let’s go home.”  Aya ni Valerie at tumango ako.

Pumunta kami sa parking lot at sumakay sa kotse. Nang makalabas na kami sa parking lot halos hindi ko na makita ang daraanan ko, hindi na kinaya ng windshield wiper ang lakas ng patak ng ulan. 

“I think we should go back. Patigilin muna natin ang ulan.”  Sabi ni Valerie. Tama nga naman siya, baka maaksidente pa kami kung ipipilit kong magdrive. May dadaanan pa naman kaming bangin kaya delikado.

Bumalik kami sa mall at hinihintay namin tumigil ang ulan ngunit inabot na kami ng gabi pero lalo lang itong lumalakas. Napagdesisyonan namin na pumunta na lang sa inn na malapit sa mall na iyon at doon magpalipas ng gabi. 

“Two rooms, please.”  Sabi ni Valerie nang lumapit siya sa receptionist.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. Isang kuwarto na lang ang available.”  Sabi ng receptionist.  “Marami kasing nagchecheck-in dito dahil sa ulan.”

“Fuck!”  Mura ni Valerie.

“I’ll take the room.”  Sabi ng lalaki sa tabi namin.

“Hey!”  Nakasimangot na sabi ni Valerie sa lalaki.

“Miss, kung ayaw mong kunin edi akin na lang.”  Sabi ng lalaki.

“We’ll take it.”  Sabi ni Valerie sa receptionist. Nagbayad siya at binigay ng babae ang susi ng kwarto.

“Halika na.”  Aya ni Valerie sa akin at umakyat kami sa hagdan papunta sa second floor. Hinanap namin ang kwartong ibinigay sa amin.

“Okay lang ba sa’yo?”  Tanong ko sa kanya habang nakatayo pa rin sa labas ng kwarto.

Lumingon siya sa akin.  “At kung hindi okay sa akin saan ka naman matutulog.”

“Pwede naman ako sa kotse.”  Sabi ko.

“I know you’re tired, too.”  Sabi niya.  “Don’t worry hindi kita gagahasain.”  Biro niya.

Pumasok na ako sa kwarto at sinara niya na ang pinto.

Chapter Thirty One

I waited for Tristan the whole night. Antok na antok ako pero hindi naman ako makatulog sa pag-aalala. I could hear the rain and wind outside. I hope Tristan is safe. Sana walang nangyaring masama sa kanya. Sana rin wala siyang ginagawang masama ngayon. He’s with four beautiful women! Kanina nga lang kaharap ako nilalandi na siya ng mga babaeng yun ngayon pa kayang wala ako sa tabi niya. 

I looked at the clock, eleven o’clock na wala pa rin siya. 

“One hour na lang baby. Kapag wala pa ang daddy mo, matutulog na tayo.”  Sabi ko habang hinahawakan ko ang tiyan ko.

One hour has passed, hindi pa rin siya umuuwi. I decided to go to sleep dahil baka makasama sa baby kung magpupuyat ako. Humiga ako sa kama at ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko. I tried to sleep. I lang oras akong nakahiga at nag-iisip kung nasaan na si Tristan at kung anong ginagawa niya ngayon bago nakatulog.

 Wala na ang ulan ng magising ako at wala pa rin si Tristan. Hindi ako makakain mabuti ng breakfast dahil di ako mapakali kakahintay sa kanya. I decided to take a walk after having breakfast para naman malibang ko ang sarili ko. I don’t wanna worry too much baka kasi makasama sa baby namin. 

Nilibang ko na lang ang sarili ko sa pakikipagkuwentuhan kina aling Sonia at aling Emma. Inabot na ng hapon at wala pa rin siya. Nang makaramdam ako ng antok nagpaalam na ako sa kanilang dalawa at pumasok sa bahay. 

Nagising ako ng marinig ko ang parating na kotse, I quickly got up from bed and looked out the window. Madalim na, gabi na pala. Huminto ang kotse at lumabas si Tristan at Valerie. Sandali silang nag-usap, mukhang seryoso ang pinag-uusapan nila. 

Valerie touched Tristan’s face and said something. Tristan smiled at him. Tapos pumasok na si Valerie sa kotse at umalis na. Ano ba ang dapat kong isipin? They spent the night together, for God’s sake! And now, naglalandian sila sa labas. I tried to hold back my tears.

“Bakit ngayon ka lang?”  Nakasimangot na tanong ko pagpasok niya sa bahay.

“Ang lakas ng ulan kaya nagpalipas kami ng gabi sa kabilang bayan.”  Sagot niya. 

“Kaninang umaga pa tumigil ang ulan bakit ngayon lang kayo umuwi?”  I crossed my arms.

“M-may dinaanan pa kami.”  Nag-iwas siya ng tingin sa akin.

“I see you’re getting comfortable with Valerie. Too comfortable.”  Tumaas ang kilay ko. 

“What are you talking about?”  Kumunot ang noo niya.

“Sabihin mo nga sa akin ano’ng ginawa niyo habang magkasama kayo?” 

“Wala!” 

“Wala? You spent the night together!”   Hindi ko napigilan tumaas ang boses ko.

“Andi, please, tigilan mo muna ako. Pagod ako.”  Mahinang sabi niya. Then I heard him sigh.

“Bakit? Pinagod ka ba ni Valerie.”  I said sarcastically.

“Ayokong makipag-away sa’yo ngayon.”  May bahid ng inis ang boses niya. Pagkasabi ay tumalikod siya at lumabas ulit. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi panoorin siyang lumabas sa pinto at pabagsak na isinira yun. Tears start to fall down my cheek. 

Hindi ganon ang Tristan na kilala ko. Hindi yun ang mahal ko. Tristan never walked out on me kahit na madalas ko siyang awayin nitong mga nakaraang araw. Kapag nagagalit ako sa kanya nilalambing niya ako. Hindi naubos ang pasensya niya sa akin… ngayon lang.

Maybe he was just tired katulad ng sinabi niya. Maybe he had a rough day. Maybe I was overreacting. Or maybe kaya napuno na siya sa akin, hindi ko naman siya masisisi kung iyon nga ang dahilan. Sumilip ako sa bintana at nakita ko siyang nakaupo sa harap ng bahay at nagsisigarilyo. I think I should apologize to him. Ako naman kasi ang nagsimula nito.

Lumabas ako sa bahay at nilapitan ko siya. Ang layo ng tingin niya at parang ang lalim ng iniisip niya. Umupo ako sa tabi niya.

“M-mahal ko…”  I touched his shoulder. Mukhang nagulat siya sa akin. Tinapon niya sa sahig ang sigarilyo at inapakan.

“Ano?”  Sabi niya sa malamig na tono.

“I’m sorry.”  I hugged him and rested my head on his shoulder. 

Hindi siya sumagot. Tinanggal niya ang mga kamay kong nakayakap sa kanya at tumayo siya sa kinauupuan niya. Walang sabi-sabing pumasok siya sa bahay. I don’t know what is happening to Tristan? Ano bang pinakain sa kanya ng Valerie na yun at nagkakaganon siya? 

Sinundan ko siya sa loob.

“Kumain ka na ba?”  I asked quietly.

“Tapos na.”  Maikling sagot niya. Umkyat siya sa kama at humiga. 

I wanted to tell him about my pregnancy. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na magkaka-baby na kami. Gusto kong pag-usapan namin yung plans namin for our baby. Gusto ko ikwento sa kanya kung gaano ako kasaya ng sabihin sa akin ng doctor na buntis ako. But that didn’t happen. Instead, I silently cried myself to sleep. 

Wala na sa tabi ko si Tristan ng magising ako. Tumayo ako sa kama at nang hawiin ko ang tela na nagcocover sa bedroom at nakita ko siya na nasa mesa. May dalawang empty bottle ng beer sa harap niya at isa naman ay nilalagok niya.

“Why are you drinking so early?”  Tanong ko ng makita ko siya. Why is he even drinking? 

Hindi niya ako pinansin at nagpatuloy siya sa pag-inom.

Umupo ako sa tabi niya at hinawakan ang isang kamay niya.  “Mahal, I’m so sorry sa mga sinabi ko kahapon. Bati na tayo.”  I gave him the puppy eyes look.

Hindi siya kumibo. Katulad kahapon parang malalim ang iniisip niya. 

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. “Mahal, say something. Simula ng dumating ka dito kagabi ang tahimik mo.”

“You need to go home.”  Sabi niya.

“Home?”  Kumunot ang noo ko. This is my home. OUR home.

“Ibabalik na kita sa pamilya mo.”  He said flatly.

“W-what?”  Hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig ko.   

“Pupunta tayo sa Maynila ngayon at ibabalik na kita sa inyo.”  Seryosong sabi niya.  

“No…”  I felt my eyes water as I shake my head.  “Ayokong bumalik sa kanila.”

“I already packed your things.”  Sabi niya. Napatingin ako sa bag na nakalapag sa paanan niya.

“I don’t understand kung ano’ng nangyayari? Bakit ba pinaaalis mo ako?”  Nanginginig ang boses na tanong ko.  “Tell me, dahil ba ito kay Valerie? May nangyari ba sa inyo?”

Hindi nagsalita si Tristan. I couldn’t keep myself from sobbing. Kung nagkamali nga siya, handa ko siyang patawarin. Lahat naman ng tao nagkakamali, di ba? He’s just a man and Valerie is a beautiful woman. Hindi ko siya masisisi. Nangyari na eh, tapos na yun. Mas gusto kong magtanga-tangahan na lang kesa maghiwalaya kami.

“Tristan, I’m willing to forgive you.” 

“I’m not asking for forgiveness. Hindi mo ba naiintindihan, ayoko na sa’yo!”  Hindi ako makapaniwalang nanggaling ang mga salitang iyon sa bibig niya.

“Is this some kind of a sick joke?!”  I said sobbing. 

“Mukha ba akong nagbibiro?”  He gave me a cold glare before harshly grabbing my arm. Itinayo niya ako.  “Magbihis ka na para makaalis na tayo.”

“How could you?”  Pilit akong kumawala sa pagkakahawak niya. I lashed out at him and punched him in the chest. Hindi siya gumalaw sa kinatatayuan niya at hindi niya ako sinubukang pigilan.  “Binigay ko sa’yo ang lahat. I gave up everything for you. Ngayon itatapon mo na lang ako na parang basahan.”  Pinagsusuntok ko siya hanggang sa manghina ako. Napaupo ako sa paanan niya.  “A-akala ko ba mahal mo ko? Mahal na mahal kita, Tristan. Gagawin ko ang lahat ng gusto mo, just don’t leave me.”

“Get up!”  Sigaw niya.  “Wala ka na bang respeto sa sarili mo ha? Hindi mo ba narinig ang sinabi ko? Ayoko na sa’yo. Pinagsawaan na kita. Wala ka ng ginawa kung hindi maging pabigat sa akin!”

He grabbed my arm and yanked me up. Sapilitan niyang hinubad ang pajama ko.  “Kapag hindi ka pa mag-ayos sa loob ng limang minuto aalis kang nakaganyan.”

Kumuha ako ng shirt at jeans pinanood niya lang ako habang umiiyak na sinusuot ang damit ko. He’s face was emotionless. Ok naman kami bago siya umalis, why did he suddenly changed? What went wrong? 

Nang makabihis na ako, he picked up the bag and grabbed my hand. Hinatak niya ako palabas ng bahay. He didn’t say a word habang naglalakad kami. Tumawag siya ng tricycle para maghatid sa amin sa bus terminal.

“Tristan, ayokong umalis. Dito na lang tayo, huwag mo na akong ibalik kay mommy at daddy.”  Naluluhang sabi ko bago kami pumasok sa bus. Walang sabi-sabing hinawakan niya ako sa braso at sapilitan pinapasok sa bus.

Nasa tapat na kami ng mansyon. Wala ni isa sa amin ang nagsalita. Pagod na akong makiusap sa kanya at pagod na rin ako sa kaiiyak. I looked at his stone cold face. Wala man lang akong nakikitang kahit katiting na lungkot or regret. Ganun ba kadali sa kanya ang itapon ang relasyon namin? Did he really loved me? Gusto kong maniwala na minahal niya ako pero kung talagang minahal niya ako hindi niya gagawin sa akin ito. He just used me for sex. At nang makahanap siya ng ibang babae, he just dropped me like a hot potato.

“Pasensya na, miss Andi. Pinagbilin sa amin ng daddy mo na hindi ka na namin pwedeng papasukin dito.”  Sabi ng guard na nasa labas namin.

“Tawagin mo ang amo mo.”  Utos ni Tristan sa guard.

“Sir kasi-”

“Sabi ng tawagin mo ang amo mo. Sabihin mo ibabalik ko na ang anak niya sa kanya.”  Bahagyang nagtaas ang boses niya.

Nagkatinginan ang dalawang guard at tinanguan ng isa ang kasama niya. Pumasok ang isang guard sa loob ng mansion.

When he came back kasama niya na si daddy. 

“D-dad…”  My eyes started stinging with tears. Ngayon ko na realize kung gaano kamali na pinili ko si Tristan kesa sa dalawang taong nagpalaki at nagmahal sa akin sa loob ng maraming taon. I’m so stupid. Tama si dad when he said I’d come crawling back to him. 

“Ano’ng ginagawa niyo dito?”  Galit na tanong ni daddy. 

“I’m sorry, dad.” Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong tumakbo ako at yumakap sa kanya.  “I’m so sorry… I should’ve listened to you and mom.”  Umiiyak na sabi ko. I was surprised when dad hugged me back. I cried even harder. Lalo akong na guilty sa ginawa ko sa kanila ni mommy.

“It’s ok, sweet heart.”  Wala na ang galit sa boses niya. He rubbed my back.  “Pinapatawad na kita.”

Chapter Thirty Two

Tristan’s POV

Tumakbo si Andi sa ama niya at yumakap. Mas mabuting nasa poder na siya ng mga magulang niya. Nasisigurado kong magiging ligtas siya dito. Hindi ko na kinayang tignan pa siya, parang dinudurog ang puso ko habang nakikita kong nasasaktan siya dahil sa akin. Tumalikod ako at kusang bumagsak ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan. Mas pinili kong magalit siya sa akin at kamuhian niya ako para hindi na siya magdalawang-isip na lumayo sa akin. Alam kong pagsinabi ko sa kanya ang totong nangyari mas lalo siyang hindi papayag na bumalik sa mga magulang niya.

Hindi totoo ang iniisip niyang may nangyari sa amin ni Valerie. Walang nangyari sa aming dalawa. Nagkuwentuhan lang kaming dalawa hanggang sa dalawin siya ng antok. Natulog siya sa kama at naglatag ako ng kumot sa lapag at doon nahiga. Halos hindi nga ako nakatulog ng gabing iyon dahil nag-aalala ako kay Andi dahil mag-isa lang siya sa bahay.

Nang dumating ang umaga nagcheck out na kami sa inn at doon din sa mismong inn na yun nakita ko ang dalawang lalaking nanloob sa amin sa apartment noon. At ang malala pa ay nakita din nila ako. Hinabol kami ng dalawa lalaki at hinatak ko si Valerie papunta sa kotse. Sumakay sila sa motorsiklo nila at sinundan nila kami. Ilang beses nila kaming pinaputukan ng baril at sa awa ng Diyos wala sa aming dalawa ang natamaan. Ipinaliwanag ko kay Valerie ang nangyayari at kung bakit kami hinahabol ng mga lalaking iyon. Alam ni Valerie ang pasikot-sikot sa lugar na iyon itinuro niya sa akin ang daan papunta sa gubat at doon namin niligaw ang dalawang lalaki. Nang makatiyak na kami na wala ng sumusunod sa amin nagpunta kami police station at ni-report namin ang nangyari. May nag-escort sa aming mga pulis pabalik sa hacienda. Nangako si Valerie na tutulungan niya kami pero ayokong pati sila ay madamay sa gulong ito. 

Gulong-gulo ang utak ko ng makabalik ako sa bahay. Pumasok sa isip ko na lumipat sa ibang lugar kasama si Andi. Ngunit naisip ko din kung gaano kakapangyarihan ang taong kalaban namin. Mukhang determinado talaga siyang ipapatay ako at kahit saang lugar pa kami pumunta hahanapin at hahanapin niya kami.  Paano kung sa susunod na makita nila kami ay hindi na kami swertehin? Buti kung ako lang ang sasaktan nila pero paano kung pati si Andi idamay nila? Pinili ko na lang na ibalik si Andi sa mga magulang niya para masigurong magiging ligtas siya. Pinagsalitaan ko siya ng masasakit na salita para maitaboy siya. I hate myself for doing that to her. Sana balang araw kung magkikita man muli kami  mapatawad niya ako sa nagawa ko sa kanya.

Andi’s POV

Nakaupo ako sa upuan sa terrace at nakatingin sa labas. Simula ng iwan ako ni Tristan, palagi akong nandito. Umaasa na makikita ko siya na babalikan niya ako at makikita ko siyang nakatayo sa labas ng bahay. I’m still holding on to that little hope that maybe he’ll change his mind.

“Honey…”  Narinig ko ang boses ni mommy. Napalingon ako sa may kwarto at nakita ko siyang papasok at may hawak na tray. She smiled when she saw me.  “Nagbake ako ng favorite mong madeleine cookies. Hindi ba gusto mo ito?”

Ibinaba niya ang tray sa table sa harap ko. May isang plato ng madeleine cookied at dalawang baso ng milk.  “Thank you, mom.”

“Anything for our princess.”  Tumabi si mommy sa akin. 

“Mom, I’m sorry.”  Nangingilid ang luhang sabi ko.  “I’m a bad daughter. I’m so sorry.”

Hinawakan niya ang mga kamay ko.  “It’s ok, darling. Nagkamali ka lang. Ang mahalaga, nalaman mo na kung ano ang tunay na ugali ng lalaking iyon at natuto ka sa pagkakamali mo.”

“I still love him. I miss him so much and I’m so sorry.”  Yumakap ako kay mommy at umiyak. 

Mom kissed me on the forehead.  “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Darating ang panahon na makakalimutan mo rin siya. Siguro nga sampung taon mula ngayon makakalimutan mo na rin ang pangalan niya.”

I don’t think it’s possible na makalimutan ko siya. He left me something to remember him; this baby I’m carrying. Hindi ko pa masabi kay mommy at daddy na buntis ako. I’m don’t know how I’m going to tell them. Ang dami ko nang nagawang pagkakamali and I’m so scared I’ll disappoint them again.

“Tita.”  I heard a man’s voice. Napatingin ako sa may pinto ng terrace at nakita kong nakatayo doon si Jason.

Mom pulled away from the hug and wiped my tears with her thumb.  “Hush now…” 

Lumingon siya sa kinatatayuan ni Jason.

“Hi, darling.”  Mom said smiling.  “Halika, samahan mo kaming mag snack.”

“Good afternoon, Andi.”  Sabi sa akin ni Jason. Pinaupo ni mommy si Jason sa tabi ko.

“Sandali lang. May kukunin lang ako sa baba.”  Sabi ni mommy at tumayo na siya.

“M-mom…”  Tawag ko sa kanya. I don’t want to be left alone, in this room, with this guy.

“Sandali lang ako, hon. Mag-usap muna kayong dalawa.”  Mom said. Pagkatapos ay lumabas na siya sa kwarto.

“So, uh… dinalhan kita ng mga books.”  Inilapag ni Jason ang tatlong makakapal na libro sa harap ko.  “Lahat yan sinulat ng favorite author ko si Haruki Murakami. Peace offering. Sana magustuhan mo.”

“Thanks.” 

“Sorry again for being an ass to you at your dad’s party.”  Hingi niya ng tawad.  

“Ok.”  I said in a cold tone of voice. 

“Kumusta nga pala ang bakasyon mo sa Barcelona?” Pag-iiba niya.

“B-barcelona?”  I’ve never even been to that place kaya medyo nagulat ako ng tanungin niya ako.

“Oo, sabi ng mommy mo nagbakasyon ka raw sa Barcelona.” 

“Oh– ok naman.”  Sabi ko na lang. Hanggang ngayon pala hindi pa rin nila sinasabi sa kanila ang totoo. Mom still wants me to marry Jason, that’s why she didn’t tell him the truth. Paano kapag lumaki na ang tiyan ko? Sigurado akong aatras sa kasal si Jason at ang family niya at madidisappoint ko na naman si mommy at daddy. 

“Last time na nagpunta ako doon noong college pa ako. Ang ganda ng mga beach dun, di ba?” 

Um-oo na lang ako kahit hindi ko alam. Mula sa beach sa Barcelona napunta ang usapan namin sa iba’t ibang bansang napuntahan niya. Mahilig siyang magtravel, namangha ako sa galing niyang magsalita ng fluent na French, Italian, Nihongo at Spanish. Naaliw ako sa pakikipag-usap ko sa kanya. I thought maybe he isn’t as bad as I thought he was.

“Wow, you’re so good.”  Sabi ko sa kanya after niya magrecite ng isang poem sa french.

“Merci beaucoup.”  Sabi niya. Meron din naman akong alam na konting french. I took french class when I was in highscool. Kaya naintindihan ko ang sinabi niya.

“De rien.”  Sagot ko sa kanya.

He smiled.  “You know how to speak french?”

“Mm… not really. Napag-aralan ko lang yun sa french class dati. Pero kung kakausapin mo ako ng french hindi kita maiintindihan.”  Natatawang sabi ko.

 “Tu es de toute beauté.” 

“What?”  Tanong ko sa kanya ng hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi niya.

“It means you’re beautiful.” 

“Oh… merci.”  Medyo naiilang na sabi ko. 

“Hey, don’t look down.”  He lifted up my chin ng yumuko ako.

“Uhm… maganda ba talaga itong book?”  Nilayo ko ang ulo ko sa kanya at binaling ang atensyon ko sa libro.

“Oo maganda talaga yan. Basahin mo.” 

“I will.”  Sabi ko.

“Friends?”  He held out his hand for a handshake.

Tinanggap ko naman iyon.  “Friends.”  Nakangiting sabi ko.

“I see you two are getting along fine.”  Napalingon kami kay mommy.  “Sorry, I took so long. Nag-usap pa kasi kami ng dad mo, Jason.”

“Ok lang, tita.”  Sabi ni Jason.

“Bakit hindi niyo kasama si Meredith?”  Tanong ni mommy. 

“She’s… she’s out of the country.”  Sagot ni Jason.

“Oh, tell your mom I said hi when you talk to her.”  Sabi ni mommy.

“Sure, tita.” 

Nag-usap pa sandali si mommy at Jason bago siya nagpaalam. Nang maiwan kaming dalawa ni mommy, she was so happy na nakakasundo ko na kaming dalawa. Pagkatapos ng araw na iyon madalas ng bumisita si Jason sa amin. Naging close kami but I don’t feel anything special for him. Kaibigan lang ang tingin ko sa kanya. 

“Andi, honey?” Nakita ako   ni mommy habang nakasubsob ang mukha ko sa toilet bowl at nagsusuka. She pulled my hair back and rubbed my back. “Ano’ng nangyayari sa’yo?”

Napapadalas ang pagvomit ko tuwing umaga. It’s getting worse everyday, minsan pa nga buong araw lang akong nakahiga sa kama dahil masama ang pakiramdam ko. I would just lie in bed all day and read books. Sometimes I would read out loud to my baby. 8 weeks na siya ngayon. Minsan nararamdaman ko siyang gumagalaw but that could just be my imagination. Even though iniwan ako ni Tristan hindi ko magawang magalit sa kanya dahil  iyon sa baby na nasa tiyan ko ngayon. I already love my unborn baby so much. I really want to tell mom and dad that I’m pregnant but I’m waiting for the right moment. 

“Baka may ulcer ka na, honey. Magpacheck up ka na kaya sa doktor.”  Sabi niya.

“Na busog lang ako sa kinain ko kagabi.”  Dahilan ko. Nagmumog ako ng mouth wash pagkatapos.

“I’ll ask yaya to cook you some soup para naman mainitan ang tiyan mo.”  Sabi ni mommy.  “Gusto ko lang paalala sa’yo na mamaya na ang party ng tito Edgardo mo. Kailangan maghanda ka na.”

“Yes, mom.”  Sagot ko.

“Kakain ka ba sa baba o ipaaakyat ko na lang dito ang breakfast mo?”  Tanong niya sa akin.

“Dito na lang ako kakain.”  I answered. I don’t feel good today. Nahihilo ako at gusto kong humiga lang sa kama.

“Ok, padadala ko na lang sa yaya mo ang breakfast mo.”  Sabi niya.

“Thanks, mom.” 

“Naka hang na ang damit na susuotin mo mamaya. Gawa pa iyon ng fashion designer na kaibigan ko sa Paris, you will look beautiful in that dress.”  Sabi ni mommy bago umalis.

Bumalik ulit ako sa kama at binasahan ko ang baby ko ng book. Sabi kasi nila nakakarinig na ang baby kahit nasa tiyan pa lang. The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, ito ang pinakafavorite na book ko noong bata pa ako at hanggang ngayon na sa akin pa rin ito. 

I was taking an afternoon nap when mom came to my room and woke me up.

“Andi, honey, come on. You have to take a shower and get dressed. Mamaya nandito na ang makeup artist at hair stylist mo.”  Sabi niya sa akin.

I bet marami na naman media kaya nagpapanic si mommy. Everything has to be beautiful in front of the camera, she would often tell me. No wonder siya ang isa sa mga hinahangaan na socialite ngayon. According to the magazines she’s the epitome of beauty and grace.

I went to the bathroom and took a bath. Pagkalabas ko ng bathroom sinalubong ako ni mommy at pinasuot sa akin ang dress na gawa ng fashion designer na kaibigan niya.

Masikip sa akin ang dress kaya inis na inis si mommy  habang sinusuot niya sa akin iyon.

“Andi, you have to watch what you eat.”  Sabi niya habang pilit niya tinataas ang damit.  “Tignan mo, you’re gaining weight.”

“Mom… I’m-”   pregnant. 

“Goddammit!”  Sigaw niya. I chewed on my lower lip.  “Why won’t this dress fit! Ang laki ng ginastos ko dito!”  I can feel the anger in her voice. I knew it was more than the dress. She knows what I was about to say. She just doesn’t want to hear it yet.

“Finally. Nasuot na rin.”  Sabi niya. Nasuot nga ang dress pero hindi niya naman masara ang zipper sa likod.  “Suck your stomach in, honey.”

“Mom, I can’t…”  Mahinang sabi ko.

“Come on, Andi. Hindi ko masasara ang zipper kung hindi mo gagawin iyon.”  Sabi niya.

Ginawa ko ang sabi niya. Pilit niyang isinara ang zipper ng dress ko. It felt really uncomfortable sa stomach part ko. Doon talaga ang masikip. And I’m scared that I might be hurting my baby.

Pinaayusan niya ako sa makeup artist at hair stylist niya. After that umalis na kami kasama si dad papunta sa party ni tito Edgardo.

“Sweet heart, bakit hindi ka yata mapakali sa kinauupuan mo?”  Tanong ni dad. Kanina pa kasi ako galaw ng galaw sa upuan ko dito sa kotse. Mas lalo kasing sumisikip ang dress ko kapag nakaupo ako at nakakaramdam ako ng konting pain.

“Don’t mind her, medyo masikip lang sa kanya ang dress.”  Si mommy.

“Then why did you wear it?”  Tanong ni dad sa akin.

“Cause it looks beautiful on her.”  Sagot ni mommy.  “Kaming mga babae, we would wear anything beautiful even if it’s a little uncomfortable. Katulad na lang ng high heels.”

“Women.”  Naiiling-iling na sabi ni dad. Mom just laughed.

I felt so relieved when the car stopped. Agad akong lumabas ng kotse para makatayo. Si Jason ang unang lumapit sa akin at humalik sa pisngi ko ng makita ako.

“You look stunning.”  Sabi niya habang tinitignan ako mula ulo hanggang paa.

“Thank you.” 

Sumunod si mommy at daddy sa akin at binati din sila ni Jason. There were cameras everywhere. Maya-maya ay isa isang naglapitan sa amin ang mga photographers. I felt really dizzy, hindi ko alam kung dahil sa sikip ng damit ko o dahil sa flash ng camera.

“Are you ok?”  Tanong ni mom sa akin.

“Y-yeah.”  Sagot ko even though I’m not ok.

Isa-isa akong pinakilala ni Jason sa mga bisita at sa mga kamag-anak niya. The photographers keep taking pictures of us. Sunod sila ng sunod sa amin.

Nagsimula ng magserve ang mga waiter ng appetizer. Umupo na ang lahat sa kani-kanilang upuan. Nasa isang table lang kami ng parents ko, ni Jason at ang dad ni Jason. Abala ang mga parents namin sa pag-uusap tungkol sa politics at sa mga businesses nila. I noticed na wala si tita Meredith sa party.

“Where’s tita Meredith?”  Mahinang tanong ko kay Jason.

Napahinto si Jason sa pagsubo.  “May… ano eh, business meeting sa ibang bansa.”

“Oh, I see.”  Tumango na lang ako.

Maya-maya ay tumayo si tito Edgardo sa upuan niya at pumunta sa stage. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I all have your attention please?”  Sabi ni tito Edgardo sa harap ng microphone. Natigilan ang mga guests at sandaling natahimik. 

“Thank you.”  Sabi niya.  “Tonight, I formally announce the engagement of my son, Jason de Veyra with the beautiful, Miranda Cordova.”  Nang matapos siyang magsalita lahat ng tao ay nagpalakpakan. Nagulat ako dahil wala akong kaalamalam that they were going to announce our engagement. Oh God! I would put my family to shame kapag nalaman nilang buntis ako at hindi si Jason ang ama.

Hinawakan ni mommy ang kamay ko at pinisil iyon. I looked at her and she smiled at me. Biglang nagdilim ang paningin ko at sigaw ng mga tao ang huli kong narinig.

“Wala kayong dapat ipagalala,Mr. and Mrs. Cordova, mabuti ang kalagayan ng anak niyo at ng baby.”  Narinig kong sabi ng doktor. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang mga mata ko at nakita ko si mommy at daddy na nakatayo sa dulo ng kama at kausap ang doktor. I closed my eyes again at nakinig na lang ako sa conversation nila.

“Baby?”  Ramdam ko ang pagkabigla sa boses ni dad. 

“Yes, she’s two months pregnant. Iwasan na lang po natin na magsuot siya ng masisikip na damit dahil baka makasama sa batang dinadala niya. Iyon siguro ang dahilan kung bakit siya nahimatay.”  Sabi ng doktor.  “Hindi din siya dapat ma-stress at mapagod.”

Sana huwag munang malaman ng iba ang pagbubuntis ng anak ko dahil gusto namin sanang sorpresahin ang fiancee niya.“  I heard mom’s voice.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Cordova. Confidential ang lahat ng records ng aming mga pasyente.”  Sabi ng doctor.

“Thank you, doc.”  Sabi ni mommy.

Nagpaalam na ang doktor at narinig kong bumukas at sumasara ang pinto sa kwartong iyon. 

“What are we going to do?”  Boses ni mommy.

Hindi ko narinig na nagsalita si dad. I wanted to open my eyes to see what’s going on but I was too scared. Naramdaman ko na lang na may pumatak na luha sa gilid ng mga mata ko.

Harold’s POV

“I want that son of a bitch dead! You hear me?”  Kausap ko sa telepono ang isa sa mga tauhan ko. Umuwi ako sa bahay habang si Olivia ay nagbabantay kay Andi sa ospital.

“Papatayin ko, boss?”  Tanong ng kausap ko.

“Tanga ka ba? Hindi mo ba narinig ang sinabi ko?”  Sigaw ko sa kanya.

Kahit kailan hindi ako nagpautos na pumatay ng isang tao, ngayon pa lang. Wala naman talaga akong balak na patayin ang tarantadong iyon gusto ko lang maibalik ang anak ko sa akin. Ngunit nang malaman kong buntis ang anak ko sa anak ng tarantadong iyon gusto ko siyang burahin sa mundong ito. Ano na lang ang mukhang ihaharap ko sa mga tao pagnalaman nila ang kalagayan ni Andi? At anong mukha ang ihaharap ko sa pamilya ng amigo ko?

“Yes, boss. Narinig ko.”  Sabi ng lalaki sa kabilang linya. “Kami na ang bahala sa kanya.”

“Gusto kong makita ang katawan niya pagkatapos niyong gawin ang trabaho niyo.”  Sabi ko.

“Yes, boss.” 

Ibinaba ko na ang telepono at pabagsak na umupo sa couch. Hinilot ko ang nananakit na sentido ko. Kailangan mawala ang lahat ng problema ko.

Chapter Thirty Three

I’ve been home from the hospital for a week now. Kahit kailan hindi sila nagbanggit o nagtanong tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko. I know they’re having a hard time accepting the fact that I’m pregnant. Hindi ko naman sila masisisi. Malaking eskandalo ito kapag nalaman ng ibang tao lalo na ngayon na alam na nilang engaged ako kay Jason.

Palaging bumibisita dito si Jason. Of course, he doesn’t know anything about it yet. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan ko pa itong itago. Why don’t they just tell them the truth and break off the engagement? Bakit kailangan pang patagalin? Sooner or later it will show. Lalaki din ang tiyan ko at malalaman ng lahat na buntis ako. 

Bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko. Mom popped his head through the door.  “Andi, honey.”

“Mom?”  Ibinaba ko ang librong binabasa ko.

“How are you feeling?”  Pumasok si mom sa kwarto at umupo sa gilid ng kama.

“Good.”  Sagot ko.

“Get dressed, okay? May appointment ka sa doctor ngayon.”  Sabi niya.

“I’m not sick. Why do I need to see the doctor?”  Tanong ko.

“Para sa… baby.”  Tumingin siya sa tiyan ko and quickly looked away.

I smiled. At least kahit paano concerned sila health ng baby ko. Does this mean na tanggap na nila ang kalagayan ko? Sana nga. 

“Thank you, mom.”  I hugged her.

“O-ok, get dressed na. I’ll wait for you downstairs.”  Bumitaw si mommy sa pagkakayakap at nagmamadaling lumabas ng kwarto.

Pagkalabas ni mommy agad akong bumaba sa kama at pumunta sa closet. Namili ako ng damit na susuotin. After I got dressed I went downstairs. Nakaupo si mommy sa living room at naghihintay sa akin.

Sumakay kami sa kotse at siya ang nagdrive. Hindi nagsasalita masyado si mommy habang nagdadrive siya. Which I find really weird dahil hindi ako sanay na tahimik siya. She always has something to say. 

Makalipas ang ilang minutong biyahe nakarating na kami sa hospital. Pumasok kami sa loob ng ospital at sumakay sa elevator. Bumaba kami sa 5th floor at nilakad namin ang mahabang hallway. Huminto si mommy sa harap ng pinto sa pinakadulo. Kumatok siya at pinagbuksan kami ng isang babae.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Cordova.”  Nakangiting bati nito sa kanya.

“Good afternoon.”  Pormal na sabi ni mommy.

“Please, come in.”  Sabi ng babae.

Pumasok kami sa loob ng kwarto. 

“Dad?”  I was surprised when I saw dad sitting in front of the doctor’s desk. Natigilan siya sa pakikipag-usap sa doctor at tumingin sa akin. Why is he here too? 

“Sweetheart, come sit over here.”  Tinuro niya ang upuan sa harap niya. Lumapit ako at umupo doon. 

Tumayo si mommy sa likod ng upuan ko at ipinatong ang kamay niya sa braso ko.

“Hello, Miranda. I’m Dr. Hall.”  Sabi ng doktor.

“Hi.”  Sabi ko.

“Okay, let’s have a look at your medical record.”  Binuksan niya ang isang folder na nakapatong sa desk niya,  “You are… 9 weeks pregnant. Everything looks healthy.”

Sinara niya na ang folder.  “So, before we start I’ll explain what will happen in the abortion.”

“Abortion?!”  My eyes widened in shock. I can’t believe what I just heard.

Nagkatinginan si dad at si Dr. Hall. Then dad looked at me.

“Andi, anak, mas makabubuti ito para sa’yo.”  Sabi ni dad. 

“Mom…”  Lumingon ako sa kanya para humingi ng tulong. But she looked away. I felt my eyes burn with tears. Pakiramdam ko pinagkaisahan nila ako. I shook my head.  “I won’t have an abortion.”

“You’re 19 years old. You are not ready to be a mother.”  Sabi ni dad.

“Kahit ano pang sabihin mo I won’t let you kill my baby.”   Tears rolled down my cheeks.

“A fetus is not a baby. It is just a-” 

“Shut up!”  Sigaw ko sa Doktor. 

“Andi, ako ang ama mo kaya ako ang masusunod.”  Mariing sabi ni dad.

“No.”  I looked at him in disgust.  “How could you even think about killing an innocent baby?”

“You are going to get rid of that… parasite and that’s final.”  Sabi niya.

 This man in front of me is not my father, he is not even a human being, he is a monster! Hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga nangyayari. I can’t believe this is happening.

“This parasite is your grandchild.”  Sabi ko habang nakatingin ng masama sa kanya. I roughly wiped my tears away.  “I’m getting out of here.”

Tatayo na ako ng bigla akong pinigil ni mommy. She pushed my shoulders down.  “Andi, listen to your dad. This is for your own good.”

“How is this for my own good?”  I stared at her with disbelief.  “You are a woman, mom. Dapat nga naiintindihan mo ako.”

I shrugged her hands off my shoulder at tumayo para umalis na. Bago pa ako makarating sa pinto, hinawakan ako ng babaeng sumalubong sa amin kanina at nakaramdam ako ng kirot sa braso ko. I knew she had done something to me at hindi nga ako nagkamali. When I looked at my arm nakita kong may nakaturok na injection doon.

“What are you doing?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“I’m sorry, ma’am.”  Sabi niya. 

Bumigat ang mga mata ko. My body went limp at agad akong nasalo ng babae. I could feel myself slowly slipping into unconsciousness. I didn’t want to fall asleep but…

I opened my eyes and looked around. I’m in my room. Was it all just a… nightmare? I felt a sharp pain on my stomach when I tried to sit up. Kinapa ko ang tiyan ko. May baby pa rin ba dito? I started to panic. I felt so anxious, Oh God! Did I lose my baby? Natuloy ba ang abortion?

“Ma’am, kumusta na ang pakiramdam mo?”  Tanong ng babaeng nakasuot ng puting scrub suit.

“Who are you?”  I asked her.

“Ako nga po pala si Cynthia, ang private nurse mo.”  Sabi niya.

“W-what happened! Tell me I’m still pregnant!”  I demanded. 

“M-ma’am, you need to calm down.” 

“I need to know…”  My vision became blurry with tears.  “I need to know what happened to my baby. Tell me they didn’t take my baby!”

Hindi sumagot ang nurse. The answer was written all over her face. I wanted to cry. I wanted scream. I wanted to hurt someone. My baby is gone. 

Sinubukan kong tumayo sa kama at tiniis ko ang sakit. I was hurting all over, both physically and emotionally. 

“Ma’am, huwag mong bibiglain ang katawan mo.”  Pinigilan ako ng nurse.

“Get out of my way!”  Tinulak ko siya at napaupo siya sa sahig.

Tumakbo ako palabas ng kwarto ko. 

“Dad!”  Sigaw ko. Hawak ko ang tiyan ko habang naglalakad papunta sa library. Walang tigil ang pag-agos ng luha ko.

Lumabas si dad mulq sa pinto ng library.  “A-andi, kailangan mong magpa-”

“You killed my baby!”   I was filled with intense anger. I ran over to him and started punching him in the chest.  “How could you do this to me? How could you…”  I sobbed uncontrollably.  “That baby you killed is your granchild. Ano’ng klaseng tao ka!”

“Shh…”  Dad hugged me.  “I’m sorry, I had to do it.”

“No…”  I shook my head.  “I will never forgive you. I will never… You’re a devil!”

 

Tristan’s POV

“Hi, handsome.”  Lumapit sa akin ang isang babae. Hindi ko siya pinansin at nagpatuloy ako sa paginom ng alak.  “Wanna dance?”

“Leave me alone.”  Sabi ko.

“Geez, you don’t have to be an asshole.”  May halong inis sa boses niya pagkatapos ay umalis na siya. Ilang linggo na mula ng ibalik ko si Andi sa kanila. Nilulunod ko na lang ang sarili ko sa alak para makalimutan ko ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. God knows how much I miss her.

Bumalik na ulit ako sa apartment na inuupahan ko noon. Buti na lang at wala pang kumukuha ng kwartong iyon at hindi nagalaw ang mga gamit ko. Binayaran ko ang upa sa landlady gamit ang perang naipon ko sa pagtatrabaho kay sir Jaime. May natitira pa akong pera ngunit malapit na ring maubos iyon. 

“Dude.”  Umakbay sa akin si Wayne.  “You alright, man?”

Nagpatuloy ako sa paginom na parang walang naririnig. Ayokong makipag-usap sa kahit sino ngayon.

“Mula ng dumating ka galing sa outerspace nag-iba ka na.”  Sabi ni Wayne.  “Ano ba ang ginawa nila sa’yo? Did they torture you?”

“Isang shot pa nga.”  Sabi ko sa bartender at agad naman akong binigyan.

“Man, you’re here to have fun, not get drunk!”  Si Wayne.  “Tignan mo si Phoenix, si Axel at si Seth. They’re having fun.”

Wala akong pakialam. 

Bumuntong-hininga siya.  “Okay ka pa ba? Hindi na kita makausap ng matino. Bakit ayaw mo magsalita?”

“Wala naman akong sasabihin.”  Sagot ko.

“Ok. Ayaw mo talaga magjoin sa party?”  Tanong niya.

“Dito na lang ako.”  Sabi ko.

“Magpakalunod ka sa alak. It’s on me.”  Pagkasabi ay bumalik na siya sa grupo.

Nagpatuloy ako sa paginom. Putangina! Bakit hindi magpakita ngayon ang mga humahabol sa akin ngayong wala na si Andi? Bakit hindi na lang nila ako barilin ng matapos na itong paghihirap ko. Na balewala lang ba ang pagsauli ko sa kanya sa mga magulang niya? Ang masaklap pa doon kinamumuhian niya na ako ngayon. 

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa baso. Hanggang ngayon sa tuwing maaalala ko ang mga ginawa at sinabi ko kay Andi bago ko siya ibalik sa mga magulang niya nagagalit ako sa sarili ko. Sinaktan ko ang babaeng mahal ko. 

After a few drinks I decided to go home. Lumapit ako sa mga kaibigan ko para magpaalam.

“Mga dude, uuwi na ako.”  Sabi ko sa kanila.

“Uuwi na rin ako.”  Sabi ni Nick.  “Sabay na tayo.”

“Oooh… gusto mong magsimula ng maaga, huh?”  Sinimulan halikan ng babaeng kasama ni Phoenix ang leeg niya.

Inilayo ni Phoenix ang sarili sa babae.  “Sorry, sugar, sa ibang gabi na lang. Kailangan kong gumising ng maaga bukas dahil may business loan presentation ako.”

“Aww.”  Disappointed na sabi nito.

“Don’t worry, babe. You can join us later.”  Sabi ni Axel.

Sabay kaming lumabas ng nightclub at sumakay sa kotse niya. Inistart niya ang engine at sinimulang patakbuhin ito.

“Ano’ng nangyari sa inyo ni Andi?”  Tanong ni Phoenix habang nagmamaneho. 

Tumingin ako sa gilid ng bintana ng kotse. Marinig ko lang ang pangalan niya pakiramdam ko maiiyak ako.  “Tapos na kami.”

“Alam mong engaged na siya ngayon?”  Sabi niya.

Hindi ako nagsalita ngunit nakaramdam ako ng kirot sa dibdib ko ng marinig ko iyon. Tinignan ko ang singsing na na nakasuot sa daliri ko. Our wedding ring. Hindi man kami kinasal sa legal na paraan, we’re married in our hearts. Sana hindi iyon makalimutan ni Andi.

Pagkaraan ng ilang sandali huminto ang kotse ni Phoenix sa harap ng compound.

“Salamat, dude.”  Sabi ko sa kanya bago ako lumabas ng kotse.

“No problem.”  Sagot niya.

“Good luck sa presentation mo.” 

“Thanks.” 

Isinara ko na ang pinto ng kotse niya at umalis na siya. Pumasok ako sa compound at umakyat sa apartment ko. Lalo lang akong nalulungkot kapag mag-isa ako dito sa apartment. Naaalala ko si Andi kahit saan akong sulok tumingin. 

Tinitigan ko ang malaking picture ni Andi na nakasabit sa dingding. Lumapit ako at hinawakan ko iyon.  Miss na miss na kita, mahal ko.  Iginuhit ko ang daliri ko sa kanyang mala-anghel na mukha pababa sa leeg niya at sa kanyang likod. I wonder if she misses me as much I miss her.

Bumuntong-hininga na lang ako at pumasok na sa kwarto. Hinubad ko na ang tshirt kong amoy yosi at alak. Huhubarin ko na rin sana ang pantalon ko ng makapa kong nawawala ang wallet ko sa bulsa ko. Kapag minamalas ka nga naman. Wala na nga akong pera. Baka naman nahulog lang sa kotse ni Phoenix.

Dinampot ko ang phone ko at tinawagan si Phoenix.

“What’s up?”  Bungad niya sa akin.

“Nandyaan ba ang wallet ko?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“Wallet mo? Saan mo ba nilagay?” 

“Tignan mo sa inupuan ko.”

“Ah, ito ba yun? Yung Hello Kitty ang design?”  Natatawang sabi niya.

“Gago.”  Natawa rin ako.

Narinig kong bumukas ang pinto sa labas ng kwarto ko. Napakunot ang noo ko. Kasunod nun ay ang mabibigat na yabag ng mga paa.  May mga sinasabi pa si Phoenix ngunit hindi ko na iyon naintindihan dahil pinakikinggan ko ang ingay. Naririnig kong papalapit na sila dito hanggang sa bumukas na ang pinto ko.

Fuck! Not again! Lima silang lalaki, malalaki ang kanilang mga katawan. Pasimple kong nilapag ang telepono sa likod ko ngunit hindi ko iyon ibinaba. 

“Ano na naman ang kailangan niyo?”  Tanong ko sa kanila.

“Aba! Matapang ka.”  Sabi ng pinakamalaking lalaki. Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan ako sa panga.  “Pinahirapan mo kami sa paghahanap sa’yo. Pahihirapan ka rin namin bago ka namin patayin.”

Sinapak niya ako sa mukha at napahiga ako sa sahig. Parang naalog ang utak ko sa sapak na iyon. Pinilit kong tumayo. Katatayo ko lang ng bigla ulit akong suntukin ng isa pang lalaki. Nakatanggap ako ng suntok sa bawat isa sa kanila. Sa mukha, sa dibdib, sa tiyan, kahit saan tumama ang kamao nila. Hindi ko na nga mabilang kung ilang suntok na ang natanggap ko. Halos hindi na ako makatayo ng tumigil sila.  

“Sabihin mo nga sa amin masarap ba ang anak ni Cordova ha?”  Sabi ng isang lalaki at nagtawanan silang lahat.

“Oo nga, ishare mo naman sa amin. Masikip ba siya?”  Sabi naman ng isa.

Napakuyom ako ng palad. Tangina nila. Gawin na nila ang lahat sa akin huwag lang nilang babastusin si Andi. Nag-ipon ako ng lakas para tumayo at sinuntok ko ang huling nagsalita.

“Putangina mo ah!”  Mura ng lalaking sinuntok ko. Sinipa niya ako sa tiyan at napahiga ulit ako sa sahig. Paulit-ulit niya akong pinagtatadyakan at dinuraan ako ng mapagod siya katatadyak.

Phoenix’s POV

Naririnig ko ang boses ng ibang mga lalaki sa kabilang linya ng phone. Naririnig ko rin ang ginagawa nila kay Tristan at ang mga sigaw ni Tristan. Sunod sunod akong napapamura habang naririnig ko ang mga nangyayari. Nagpunta ako sa pinakamalapit na police station at humingi ng tulong sa kanila.

Nagpadala sila ng limang pulis at sinundan nila ang kotse ko papunta sa compound. Nagmamadali kaming umakyat sa apartment niya at dahan-dahan nilang pinasok iyon. What I saw shocked me. Nakahiga si Tristan sa sahig, duguan ang ulo at katawan. May lalaking nakatayo sa tabi niya at nakatutok ang baril sa kanyang ulo.

“Ibaba mo ang baril mo.”  Tinutukan siya ng mga pulis ng baril. Dahan-dahan ibinaba ng lalaki ang baril sa paanan bago tumayo at itinaas ang mga kamay.

“Kayo, ilabas niyo ang baril niyo.”   Ang isa namang pulis ay tinutukan ang apat pang lalaki.

“W-wala kaming baril.”  Sabi ng isang lalaki.

Lumapit isang pulis habang tinututukan sila ng isa pang pulis para kapkapan. Pagkatapos ay pinosasan silang lima.

Lumapit ako kay Tristan. 

“Tristan!”  Inalog alog ko ang balikat niya ngunit wala itong naging epekto. Akala ko patay na siya. Nang icheck ko ang pulso niya tumitibok pa naman iyon kaya medyo nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Nagpadala ang mga pulis ng ambulansya at agad nilang kinuha si Tristan.

Sumama ako hanggang sa ospital. Dinala si Tristan sa ER at ilang oras akong naghintay bago lumabas ang doktor.

“Ikaw ba ang kasama ng pasyente?”  Tanong ng doktor.

“Yes, doc.”

“The patient is in coma. Nagkaroon siya ng internal hemorrhage sa ulo at madali naman namin napigilan ang pagdurugo ngunit hindi natin masisigurado kung kailan magigising ang pasyente. O kung magigising pa siya o hindi na.”

Chapter Thirty Four

The party was packed. Loud music was blasting through the stereo. People were dancing and grinding on each other. Some were just chilling around… drinking, smoking, making out. 

“Mmm…”  Nakarinig ako ng ungol sa tabi ko. I turned and saw Aiko making out with the guy she met earlier. I suddenly felt hot breath at the side of my neck.

“Kurt…”  Nakiliti ako at inilayo ko ang leeg ko sa kanya.

I heard him chuckle before wrapping his arms around my waist. He pulled me closer to him and nuzzled his face on my neck.  “Oh, God, Miranda… you smell like vanilla.”

“I do?”  I asked laughing. Kinuha ko ang isang baso ng vodka na nakalapag sa mesa at ininom iyon. Pinabayaan ko siyang halikan ako sa leeg.

“Yes… I wanna fuck you so hard, baby.”  He moaned on to my neck. I secretly rolled my eyes. I had been dating this guy for a week and he was already trying to work his way into my pants. Nagkakilala kami sa isang fashion show kung saan ako nagmomodel. Kurt is a famous hollywood star. He wasn’t the first celebrity I dated. Marami na akong naging boyfriend na celebrity. In fact, he was the second guy this month. Now, the media portrays me as some sort of a man eater that would sleep with anything that has pulse. But it doesn’t bother me a bit. Negative publicity is still publicity. Unti-unti ng nakikilala ang pangalan ko dahil doon.  

“Kurt, no!”  Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya na papunta na sa dibdib ko.

“Why not, baby?”  He asked huskily, placing kisses on my shoulder.

“We’re in public.” I reminded him. 

“Then let’s get out of here.”   Before I could say anything he grabbed my wrist and rush me out of the club. We were greeted by paparazzi, flashing their cameras. 

“Kurt, kurt! Where’s Alison?”  Sigaw ng isang paparazzi. Alison is Kurt’s ex girlfriend. They just broke up when we started going out. Kaya ang akala ng mga tao ako ang dahilan kung bakit sila naghiwalay.

“Are you dating each other?” 

 

“Why are you dating that slut, Kurt?”

Halo-halong sigaw ng mga tao.

“Fuck off.”  Sigaw ni Kurt. Nakayuko siya habang hatak ang kamay ko at nagmamadaling naglalakad papunta sa kotse niya. He opened the passenger side door for me. I hopped in as he close the door after me. Then he walked around to the driver’s seat. 

“Kurt…”  Ipinatong ko ang kamay ko sa hita niya. He groaned when I stroke his thigh. I smiled when I saw his erection through his pants.

“Oh, fuck, Miranda. Touch me!”  He moaned. I rub the inside of his thigh with my hand.  “Baby, touch my cock.”  He said in a raspy voice. I continued teasing him. I started kissing him on the neck while I rub his thigh.

Hininto niya ang sasakyan sa tabi ng kalsada kung saan walang kotseng dumadaan. His lips crashed mine and he kissed me savagely. He used his tongue to force his way into my mouth and roam around inside. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

His lips abandoned mine as he trail down my jawline and to my neck. I closed my eyes and a familiar face flashed through my mind.

Tristan

“What?”  Huminto si Kurt at napaangat ng tingin sa akin. 

“N-nothing.”  I shook my head.  Bumaba ulit ang ulo niya para halikan ang leeg ko. He works his way down to my exposed cleavage. I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed him away.  “Let’s go to my apartment.”  Mahinang sabi ko.

“I’m so fucking hard right now! I want to be inside you! I’ll make this quick. Just let me come.”  He reached for the button of my jeans. Agad kong pinigilan ang kamay niya.

“Let’s just continue this when we get to my apartment.”  Sabi ko.

Umayos siya ng upo at sumandal sa upuan. I heard him cuss under his breath. I know he’s so turned on right now. He started his car and drove as fast as he could.

He parked his car in front of my apartment. We entered the building and went directly to the elevator. He started kissing me again when we got in the elevator. Finally, after eternity, the elevator stopped on my floor. We walked down the hallway to my apartment. Kinuha ko ang susi sa bag ko at binuksan iyon. Pumasok ako sa loob.

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I have an early photoshoot tomorrow. Goodnight.”  Sabi ko sabay sara ng pinto ng apartment ko.

“Miranda!”  He furiously shouted while banging on my door.  “Open the fucking door. Don’t fucking play games with me.”

“Good night, Kurt!”  Malambing na sabi ko sa kanya.

“You’re a fucking cock-teasing little bitch!”  Sinipa niya ang pinto ko bago ko narinig ang yabag ng mga paa niya palayo.

I took a deep breath and walk and walked to the kitchen. Kumuha ako ng isang baso at isang bote ng wine. Dinala ko iyon sa loob ng bathroom. Pinuno ko ang bath tub ng tubig at nilubog ko ang katawan ko. 

Three years had past… They say time heals all wounds. But why am I still hurting? I don’t deserve this. I don’t fucking deserve this! Walang gabing hindi ako umiyak sa loob ng tatlong taon. I picked up my wine glass and took a sip. Pagkatapos kong malaman na wala na ang batang dinadala ko sa sinapupunan ko pumayag akong magpakasal kay Jason. Pumayag ako dahil gusto kong umalis sa lugar na iyon, pakiramdam ko kasi mababaliw ako habang araw-araw kong nakikita ang mga taong pumatay sa anak ko. We went to New York and got married. Nanatili si Jason sa New York at lumipat ako dito sa Los Angeles. 

“Mommy… mommy…” Tumatakbo palapit sa akin ang isang batang lalaki. Binuhat ko siya at niyakap. My baby… 

“I love you.” Sabi ko.

“If you really love me then why did you let them kill me?” Malungkot na sabi ng maliit na boses niya.

I pulled away from the hug and looked at him. The little boy’s face was covered in blood, it was everywhere. All I could do was scream and cry hysterically.

I woke up from a terrible nightmare in a cold sweat, gasping for air. Napayakap ako sa unan sa tabi ko at umiyak. Kasalanan ko din ito. I should’ve fought harder. I shouldn’t have let them kill you. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.   My tears eventually turned to sobs. I swear I’m going to make them pay. I’m going to make them pay for what they’ve done to you. Si Harold, si Olivia at si Tristan. Magbabayad sila.

Chapter Thirty Five

Pinagmasdan ko ang magazine na nakapatong sa coffee table. Nakita kong binabasa ng secretary ko ito kanina at ang nakaagaw ng pansin ko ay ang cover ng magazine. Nakaupo si Andi sa couch ng nightclub habanag nakasubsob ang mukha ng lalaking katabi niya sa leeg niya. 

Kurt Bennett caught kissing model Miranda de Veyra.

Just days after announcing his split from fiance, Alison Brandt, Kurt Bennett was spotted partying at a nightclub in Los Angeles with Miranda de Veyra. The pair was snapped with various photos of them getting intimate.

Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi mapailing na lang habang binubuklat ko ang mga pahina at tinitignan ang mga larawan niyang kasama ang aktor. Two weeks ago lang yata ng makita ko sa internet ang picture niya kahalikan ang isang sikat na singer sa beach. Kung ako nga nagngingitngit sa galit habang tinitignan ang mga larawang iyon, ano kayang nararamdaman ng asawa niya? Hindi ba niya alam ang mga ginagawa ni Andi? Wala ba siyang pakialam? Maybe, Jason didn’t love her enough kaya naghahanap siya ng pagmamahal sa ibang lalaki. I would kill to be in his place. Hindi niya ba alam kung gaano siya kaswerte kay Andi?

We really loved each other. Malas lang nga dahil minahal namin ang isa’t isa sa maling panahon at pagkakataon. Kung ngayon kami nagtagpo ang landas namin magiging madali na siguro ang lahat para sa amin. Hindi na ako mahirap, kaya ko na siyang buhayin at siguro matatanggap na ako ng pamilya niya. 

Nagising ako sa malalim na pag-iisip ng marinig kong tumunog ang door bell. Tumayo ako para buksan iyon.

“Tristaaaaaan!”  Yumakap si Valerie sa akin.  “Surprise! Surprise!”

“What are you doing here?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“Why? Ayaw mo ba ako dito?”  Lumabi siya na parang bata. Pumasok siya sa unit ko at tumingin sa paligid.  “Hmm… siguro meron kang kasamang babae, no?”

“Loko loko!”  Pabirong ginulo ko ang buhok niya.

“Tristan naman! Kakagaling ko lang ng salon.”  Maktol niya.

“Yan ang bagong hairstyle ngayon. Bed hair look.”  Biro ko.

She made a face.  “I hate you.”  Sabi niya habang inaayos ang buhok gamit ang daliri niya.

“Magpapa-salon ka lang pumunta ka pa dito sa Manila?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“Nakipagkita ako sa mga friends ko dito so dinaanan na din kita.”  Pasalampak na umupo si Valerie sa couch. Kinuha niya ang magazine sa ibabaw ng coffee table at tinignan ito.  “Inii-stalk mo na naman si Andi.”  Naiiling na sabi niya habang nakatingin sa magazine.

“Hindi. Nakita ko lang yan sa secretary ko.”  Sabi ko at umupo ako sa tabi niya.

“Oh my god, she’s dating Kurt!”  Tili ni Valerie.  “I thought she was dating Dash Stonem? Divorced na ba sila ng asawa niya?”

“No. She’s still using Jason’s last name.”  Sagot ko.

“Updated na updated ka kay Andi.”  Sabi ni Valerie.  “Magmove on ka na. It’s been years. Mukha naman masaya na si Andi sa buhay niya and you deserve to be happy too.”

“I am happy.” 

Really?  Bakit kahit ang sarili ko hindi ko makumbinsi.

“You should start dating again.” 

“I tried but…”  Napailing ako.

“Huwag mo kasi silang i-compare kay Andi. Kahit i-date mo lahat ng babae dito sa Pilipinas wala kang mahahanap na katulad niya.” 

“Hindi ko sila ikinukumpara kay Andi. I just haven’t found the right person.”  I shrugged. I already did… pinakawalan ko lang.  “Kumusta na nga pala si dad?”  Pag-iiba ko sa usapan.

“He misses you. Hindi ka ba bibisita sa hacienda?”  Tanong ni Valerie.

“Maybe, some other time. Abala kasi ako sa trabaho. Aayain ko na lang kumain sa labas si dad next weekend.”  Sabi ko. Minsan lang akong dumadalaw sa hacienda at sandali lang. Hindi ko kayang magtagal sa lugar na iyon. Naaalala ko lang lalo si Andi.

“Okay.”  Kibit-balikat na sabi niya. 

Nang magising ako sa dalawang buwan na pagka-coma meron na akong pamilya. Meron na akong kapatid at ama. Ako na si Dominic Zamora. It feels like I’m living someone else’s life. Parang lahat ng nangyari sa buhay ko noon ay isa lang panaginip. 

Sinabi ni Valerie kay sir Jaime ang nangyari sa bayan. Nag-alala si sir Jaime sa amin ng malaman niyang umalis na kami sa hacienda kaya kumuha siya ng private investigator para hanapin kami. Doon na niya nalaman ang lahat ng tungkol sa akin. Nalaman niyang galing ako sa isang bahay-ampunan. Dalawang taon gulang daw ako ng may lalaking nagdala sa akin doon. Nakita daw nila ako sa likod ng truck kasama ng mga gulay na idedeliver nila sa Maynila. Hindi niya alam kung saan ako ibabalik kaya dinala niya na lang ako sa bahay-ampunan. Tristan ang pangalan na ibinigay nila sa akin. Nagtutugma iyon sa impormasyon na nakuha nila sa paghahanap kay Dominic Zamora. Kinutuban na si sir Jaime na baka ako ang nawawalang anak niya.

Siya ang unang taong nakita ko nang magising ako sa paka-coma. Niyakap niya ako at naluluhang ipinaliwanag sa akin ang mga nalaman niya tungkol sa pagkatao ko. Sinabi niya na may posibilidad na ako si Dominic. Pumayag akong magpa-DNA test at nang lumabas ang resulta, doon na nag-iba ang buhay ko. Ako na ngayon si Dominic Zamora, ang anak ng isang mayamang haciendero.

 

Andi’s POV

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I groaned and looked at the clock on the bedside table. It’s 5 o’clock in the fucking morning. And it’s Sunday! Who the hell calls someone at five in the morning? I yawned before reaching over for my phone. I glanced a the screen and frowned when I saw it was from an unknown number. Nag-isip pa ako kung sasagutin ko ba ito o hindi. Since naistorbo niya na ang tulog ko sinagot ko na ang phone. This better be good.

“Hello?”  I said while rubbing my eyes.

“Andi, anak…”  I heard the familiar voice on the other line. I gritted my teeth and gripped the phone tightly. I wanted to scream at her! Gusto ko siyang murahin. How dare she call me anak ? At ang kapal ng mukha niyang tawagan ako.  Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko at ibababa ko na sana ang phone ng marinig ko siyang umiyak.

“What do you want?”  I asked in an angry tone.

“You’re dad… had a heart attack.”  She said in between sobs.

I stayed silent for a few minutes. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin at maramdaman. 

“Palagi kang hinahanap ng daddy mo, anak. We miss you so much.”  Umiiyak na sabi niya.  “Umuwi ka na dito. Daddy wants to see you.

“

Ang kapal ng mukha nila. Pagkatapos ng ginawa nila sa akin at sa anak ko may gana pa silang tawagan ako at pakiusapan umuwi sa Pilipinas. Paano ko patutunguhan ang mga taong pumatay sa anak ko? Am I just going to pretend that everything is ok just because that old man is sick? To hell with them!

Walang sabi-sabing binaba ko ang phone. I tried to go back to sleep. Sinubukan kong kalimutan ang sinabi ni Olivia. But I couldn’t get myself back to sleep and ended up tossing and turning. Umupo ako sa kama. I know there’s a part of me that still does care and I hate it.

Hindi na ako nakatiis and I tried to call my dad’s brother, uncle James. Sa kanya ako nagtanong. Nasa stable condition na daw si Harold. Why should I even be worried? Nakalimutan kong matagal mamatay ang masamang damo.

Huminto ang taxi sa harap ng ospital kung saan naka-confined si Harold. Dumiretso na ako dito galing sa airport. I glared outside the car window and a wry smile formed on my lips. Harold and Olivia will surely be surprised when they see me. May pasalubong pa ako kay Harold, I hope he likes it.  I heard his doing better now. 

Bumaba ako sa taxi at pinakuha ko sa driver ang bulaklak na binili ko kanina sa nadaanan naming flower shop. 

“Pakidala na lang yan.”  Sabi ko sa driver.

Naglakad ako papasok sa ospital at sumunod sa akin ang driver na hawak ang bulaklak.

“Ma’am, dadalhin ito sa loob ng ospital?”  Nag-aalinlangan na sabi ng driver nang nasa harap na kami ng ospital.

“Yes.”  Maikling sagot ko.

Bago kami nakapasok sa ospital hinarang kami ng security guard. He gave the driver a weird look.

“Is there any problem?”  Tanong ko sa security guard.

Napakamot siya ng ulo.  “Bawal po yan dito.”

“Bawal magdala ng bulaklak sa ospital?”  I looked at him skeptically.

“Eh, bulaklak po yan pangpatay.”  Sagot ng guard.

“I’m asking you, bawal bang magdala ng bulaklak?”  Nakataas ang kilay na sabi ko.

“H-hindi po.”  Sagot niya.

“Hindi naman pala eh.”  I rolled my eyes at him. Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad. Everyone was staring at the taxi driver. They were all probably wondering kung bakit may siya may dalang bulaklak ng patay.

I went up to the front desk and asked the nurse what room Harold Cordova is in. Binigay niya ang room number at pumunta ako doon. Pabilis ng pabilis ang tibok ng puso ko habang papalapit ako sa kwarto. After three years, makakaharap ko na naman ang demonyong pumatay sa anak ko. I took in a deep breathe and reached for the door knob.

Binuksan ko ang pinto. Harold was in his bed, he looked… different. He looked like he had lost some weight, he was pale and he had gray streaks in his hair. He looked so weak and helpless, malayo sa itsura noon. Nakaupo sa tabi niya si Olivia at mukhang natutulog ito.

“Andi…”  He said in a raspy voice. His eyes began to water. Gusto kong tumalikod at umalis na pero parang napako ang mga paa ko sa kinatatayuan ko.  “Anak, I missed you so much.”

Nag-angat ng ulo si Olivia at tumingin sa akin. A shocked look crossed her face. “Andi?”  Napatayo siya sa upuan at lumapit sa akin. She hugged me. Napakuyom ang mga palad ko. I tried as hard as I could to fight back my tears.

“Oh my god. You should’ve told as na babalik ka dito sa Pilipinas. Sana napaghandaan namin.”  Sabi ni Olivia.

“Ma’am, saan ko ito ilalagay?”  Napatingin siya sa taxi driver. I heard her gasp.

I smirked.  “Ipasok mo dito.” 

“Andi, what is this?”  Tanong ni Olivia.

I looked at her with hate before smiling.  “Pasalubong ko.”

Ipinasok ng taxi driver ang bulaklak sa kwarto. Nawala ang ngiti sa mukha ni Harold. He had pain expression in his eyes. 

“Thanks, manong.”  Sabi ko sa driver bago binigay ang bayad ko. Binigyan ko siya ng malaking tip at tuwang-tuwa naman siyang umalis.

“Nagustuhan mo ba… dad ?”  I said sarcastically with my arms crossed. Hindi siya sumagot.

“Andi,”  Tawag ni Olivia.  “Ano’ng ibig sabihin nito.”

“Hindi niyo ba nagustuhan?”  Nagpalit-palit ako ng tingin sa kanila.

“Please, Miranda, don’t do this. Not now. May sakit ang daddy mo.”  Pakiusap ni Olivia.

“I can see that.”  I smiled as I look at Harold.  “That’s what you call karma and you deserve so much worse than this.”

“Noong nalaman kong inatake ka sa puso, alam mo bang pinagdasal kong huwag kang mamatay. Death is too easy for you.”  My jaws clenched.  “I’d rather watch you suffer first. Gusto kong makitang naghihirap ka. Gusto kong maramdaman mo ang sakit na naramdaman ko.”

He looked down. His shoulders were shaking and tears drip down his face. “Patawarin mo ako, anak. Pinagsisisihan ko ang ginawa ko.” 

I felt a lump in my throat. I couldn’t hold my tears anymore kaya tumalikod ako. I don’t want to cry in front of them. I don’t want to show my weakness. Hindi na ako ang dating Andi.  

“Andi.”  Olivia said, her voice cracking. Hinawakan niya ako sa balikat. I shrugged her hands off my shoulder and walked away.

Tristan’s POV

Bumaba ako sa kotse at naglakad papasok sa bar. I just need a drink or maybe a few. Galing ako sa trabaho at gusto kong magrelax. Ayoko naman pumunta sa nightclub. Masyadong maingay doon at magulo.

Umupo ako sa bakanteng stool sa pinakadulo ng bar counter.

“One scotch on the rocks.”  Sabi ko ng lumapit ang bartender sa akin. Maya maya pa ay inabot niya na sa akin ang order ko.

I took a sip of my scotch. Ibinaba ko ang baso. I swirled it around a bit. Maganda na ang buhay ko ngayon kumpara dati. May pamilya na ako, may trabaho ako, may pera ako at nabibili ko lahat ng gusto ko. Pero pakiramdam ko may kulang pa rin sa buhay ko. May kulang naman talaga.

I took a deep sigh. I would give anything to have her back. Ang mahal ko. Wala sa sariling napangiti ako ng maalala ko ang tawagan namin noon. Kumusta na kaya si Andi? Sana masaya na siya at sana napatawad niya na ako. Naiisip niya rin kaya ako… kahit minsan lang? Mahal ko pa rin siya, hindi nawala iyon kahit kailan. I tried to move on. Nakipagdate ako sa ibang mga babae pero hindi nagwork. Hindi ko kayang ibigay sa kanila kahit konti ng pagmamahal ko para kay Andi. 

“Can I have an appletini?”  Narinig kong sabi ng babaeng umupo sa tabi ko.

Hindi ko siya masyadong binigyan pansin at nagpatuloy ako sa pag-ikot ng baso ko. Nakatingin ako sa yelong umiikot sa loob ng baso. I took another sip.

I heard her sniff and it turned to muffled sobs. She’s crying. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at tumingin ako sa kanya. I blinked a couple of times. Ni hindi ko pa nga nauubos itong isang baso ng scotch. Sigurado akong hindi ako lasing. 

“A-andi?” 

Tumingin siya sa akin…

Chapter Thirty Six

“Andi?”  

Tumingin siya sa akin. She stared at me blankly for a few seconds, I stared back at her. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Gusto ko siyang yakapin at sabihin sa kanya kung gaano ko siya na miss pero para ako makakilos. Her expression quickly changed from shocked to anger. Marahas niyang pinunasan ang mga luha niya. Tinapunan niya ako ng masamang tingin bago tumalikod.

Tumayo siya sa upuan at nagmamadaling naglakad palabas sa bar.

“Andi, sandali!” Humabol ako sa kanya. Hindi siya lumingon sa akin, lalo niyang binilisan ang paglalakad.

Nakalabas na kami ng bar ng makahabol ako sa kanya at agad kong hinawakan ang kamay niya para mapigilan siya.

“Ano ba?!” She tried to get out of my grip.

“Andi…” Naluluhang sabi ko bago ko siya hinatak papunta sa akin. I hugged her tight in my arms. Mabilis na nagbagsakan ang mga luha sa mga mata ko. Hindi siya gumalaw ng ilang segundo bago niya ako pilit tinulak at pinagsusuntok sa dibdib.

“Let me go!” Sigaw niya habang pilit na kumakawala sa bisig ko. Lalo ko lang hinigpitan ang yakap ko. “Let me go for fuck’s sake!”

Tinulak niya ako ng malakas at nakawala siya sa pagkakayakap. Biglang dumapo ang mga palad niya sa pisngi ko at tumakbo. Sinubukan ko siyang habulin ulit, pumara siya ng taxi at nagmamadaling sumakay.

Napasipa ako sa maliit na bato sa harap ko. I fist my hair in frustration. I took a deep breathe and wiped my tears away.

Andi’s POV

Inis na inis ako sa sarili ko becuase I couldn’t stop crying. He is not worth my tears, not a single drop. He used me for sex and dumped me. I gave him everything. I loved him and what did I get in return? A broken heart.

It was his fault kung bakit nawala ang baby namin! He abandoned us. Pare-pareho sila ni Olivia at Harold. They all killed my baby. I slammed my body on the bed and buried my face in my pillow. I had to live with it every single day. Sana pinatay na lang nila ako kasama ang baby ko. I just don’t want to feel the pain anymore.

When I look at other children, palagi kong naiisip ang baby ko. Iniisip ko kung ano kaya ang itsura niya kung nabuhay siya, kung kamukha ba siya ni Tristan o kamukha ko siya. I want so badly to hold, to kiss and to hug my baby. Sana ngayon may tumatawag na sa akin na mommy.

Tumunog ang phone ko. Ayoko sanang saguting pero nakita ko ang pangalan ni Aiko. I picked up the phone and collected myself before pressing the answer button.

“Thank God, sumagot ka rin.” Sabi ni Aiko. “Girl, I’ve been looking all over for you. Wala ka sa apartment mo at dalawang araw mo na hindi sinasagot ang phone mo. Akala ko nga na murder ka na. Where the hell are you?”

I cleared my throat so it didn’t sound like I’m crying. “Nasa Philippines ako ngayon.”

“What? You’re in the Philippines?” Gulat na sabi ni Aiko.

“Yeah.” I said in a small voice. 

“What are you doing there?” 

“My… dad.” I wanted to vomit nang sabihin ko ang word na dad. “had a heart attack.”

“Oh Gosh, I’m sorry. Is he alright?” Concerned na tanong niya. Kahit na matagal na kaming magkaibigan ni Aiko I never opened up to her. Hindi niya alam na galit ako sa mga magulang ko at hindi niya rin alam ang tungkol sa pagkawala ng baby ko. Iniiwasan kong pag-usapan namin ang personal life ko.

“Yeah, he’s fine.” 

“Well, alam mo bang kinukulit ako ng manager mo? Gosh, ang dami mong projects na iniwan kung pwede nga lang ako na gumawa ng iba. And you will not believe this, girl, gusto kang kunin ng Victoria’s Secret na model. Ikaw ang magiging kauna-unahang Filipina VS model.”  She squealed.   “You really need to get your ass back here.”

I sighed. “Ayoko munang tumanggap ng kahit anong project. I need a break.”

“What?! You must be out of your mind! Victoria’s Secret iyon!”  Tili niya.

“I gotta go, Aiko. Tatawagan na lang kita, okay?”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Mirand-”  Pinindot ko na ang end button. Sumubsob ulit ako sa pillow. I don’t want to talk with anyone right now.

 

Ilang araw na akong nandito sa Pilipinas. Wala akong ginawa kung hindi magmukmok dito sa hotel room ko. My phone was constantly bombarded with texts and calls from my manager and Harold and Olivia. I didn’t want to talk with any of them so I just turned off my phone. It’s been days since the last time I’ve had a conversation with a human being. 

I decided to go to the club tonight. I wore a black strapless sweet heart dress, tied my hair into a ponytail and put on a light makeup. Lumabas ako ng hotel at tumawag ng taxi. The taxi driver dropped me off at some club.

I entered the nightclub and went straight to the bar. Kakaupo ko lang sa stool nang may nilapag ng  bartender ang isang cosmopolitan cocktail sa harap ko.

“I didn’t order this.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Pinabibigay ng lalaking yun.”  The bartender pointed at the guy sitting five seats away from me. He waved at me and I smiled at him. He got up from his seat and walked up to me.

“Hi, I’m Drake.”  He held out his hand. Tinitigan ko lang iyon at parang napahiyang ibinaba niya ang kamay niya.

“Hi.”  I looked at him from head to toe. He is kind of cute. I raised my glass at him.  “Thanks for the drink, Drake.”

“No problem.”  Umupo siya sa tabi ko.   “Have we met before. You look familiar.”

“I don’t think so.”  I answered before taking a sip of my drink. God, I hope hindi niya ako makilala.

“Oh that’s right, I just realized you look like my future girlfriend.”  He chuckled. Ew, I’ve heard it a thousand times. Meron pa palang lalaking gumagamit ng ganun ka-cheesy na pick-up line. 

“I’m married.” I said flatly.

“Why aren’t you wearing a wedding ring?”  Tanong niya habang nakatingin sa kamay ko.

“I lost it.”  I shrugged. Well, hindi ko naman talaga nawala ang wedding ring namin ni Jason. Nang mapunta ako sa LA konti lang ang perang dala ko so I had to sell our wedding ring. The funny thing is nakatago pa rin ang wedding ring namin ni Tristan. 

“Where’s your husband? Bakit mag-isa ka lang dito?” 

“He’s in New York.” 

“I don’t believe you because if I were your husband hindi ako papayag na malayo sa’yo kahit isang araw lang.”  Sabi niya.

I rolled my eyes. I wish he would just leave me alone. God, hindi ba talaga ako makakakuha ng matinong kausap dito? I’m so tired of being hit on. Kilala ko na ang mga katulad niyang lalaki. He just wants someoene to fuck.

“Can you pleas-”  Nahinto ako ng mag-angat ako ng ulo at nakita ang isang lalaking nakaupo sa likod ni Drake.He was staring straight at me. I quickly looked away and pretend I didn’t see him.

“Can I please, what?”  Tanong niya.

I plastered a fake smile. I leaned over him and whispered.  “Dance with me.” 

“Sure, love.”  He said with a smile on his face. I grabbed his hand and lead him to the dance floor. I took his hands and wrapped it around my waist. Sinilip ko ang kinauupuan ni Tristan. He was still staring at us. I smiled. Gusto kong makita niya na masaya na ako sa buhay ko. I don’t need him. I could have any man I want.

I put my hands around his neck. We started dancing. 

“I still don’t know you’re name.”  Bulong niya sa akin.

“Take a wild guess.”  I winked at him. 

“Kitty.”  He said playfully and pulled my body against his.  “I think I’ll just call you Kitty.”

I started to feel dizzy. Napayakap ako sa kanya dahil pakiramdam ko matutumba ako. His hand slid down my bottom and gently squeezed it. I tried pushing him away but he kept on grinding against me. I could feel something hard poking at my stomach.

“Bitawan mo ako.”  I told him.

“You’re not having fun, Kitty?”  He started to nibble on my earlobe. Why do I feel so hot? My body became more and more sensitive to his touch. 

“I wanna go home.”  Sabi ko.

“Okay, Kitty, we’ll go home.” He wraps one arm around my waist and drag me out of the club. 

“Just get me a cab.” 

“Hahatid na kita.”  Sabi niya habang pinapasok ako sa kotse niya. He closed the door and ran to the driver’s side. Sumandal ako sa window ng kotse.  I feel like a fire is spreading all over my body.

He started the car and drove off. I felt his hand sneaking up my thigh. Oh fuck! I moaned out loud. It felt so good. 

“Feels good, Kitty?”  He asked, grinning. He moved his hand higher under my dress. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya. 

“Don’t.”  Mahinang sabi ko. This is so wrong. I’m so horny but I’m not cheap! Mamaya kung ano pang sakit ang makuha ko sa lalaking ito.

“You know you want it.” 

“No. Please, don’t touch me.”  I begged. He didn’t listen. His hand went around my inner thigh. I grabbed his wrist and yanked it away from me.

“Fuck you!” 

“Later, Kitty.”  He said with a smirk. Oh God! I wanted to jump out of the car. Sinubukan kong buksan ang pinto ng kotse ngunit hindi iyon mabuksan. He just laughed.

Tristan’s POV

Sinundan ko ang kotse ng lalaking kasama ni Andi. Hindi ko maiwasan mapamura sa galit. I wanted to kill the guy when I saw him touch Andi’s ass. Lalo kong binilisan ang takbo ng kotse. Putangina! Wala na akong pakialam kahit magalit si Andi sa akin. I won’t let her sleep with that guy.

Huminto ang sasakyan sa parking lot ng condominium building. I saw the guy get out of the car. Umikot siya papunta sa passenger’s side at binuksan iyon. He grabbed Andi’s arm and pulled her out of the car.

Nakita kong nagpupumiglas si Andi. Napakunot ang noo ko. What the hell is going on? Lumabas ako sa kotse at patakbong lumapit sa kanila.

“C’mon, Kitty.”  Sabi ng lalaki.

“Uuwi na ako.”  She tried to get out of his grip.  “Let me go, you bastard!”

“Kita mong ayaw sumama sa’yo di ba?”  Sabi ko. Pareho silang napatingin sa akin.

“Mind your own business.”  He snarled.

“Tristan!”  Sigaw ni Andi.

Nilapitan ko ang lalaki at hinawakan ko sa kwelyo niya. Hinampas ko siya sa pader.

“Tristan…”  Hinawakan ako ni Andi sa braso.  “Hayaan mo na siya.”

I looked at Andi and my face instantly softened. Dahan-dahan kong binitawan ang lalaki. I grabbed Andi’s hand at hinatak ko siya papunta sa kotse ko.

“Are you okay?”  Inalalayan ko siya sa paglalakad dahil mukhang nahihilo siya. Ungol lang ang isinagot niya sa akin. Maingat ko siyang isinakay sa kotse at umikot sa may driver’s seat. Ini-start ko na ang kotse.

“It’s so hot.”  Sabi niya. Napailing na lang ako ng lumingon ako sa kanya. That fucker must have put something in her drink.

“Where do you want me to drop you off?”  Tanong ko.

Hindi siya sumagot. Kinuha niya ang kanang kamay ko na nakahawak sa steering wheel at dinala sa hita niya. 

“Touch me.”  Nangingislap ang mga matang sabi niya. I cussed under my breath. Tama nga si Andi, it IS hot in here. Her skin is so soft and smooth, just like how I remember it. Umakyat ang kamay ko sa loob ng dress niya. My hand went between her legs and my fingers touched the fabric of her underwear. She opened her legs wider. I started rubbing her through her panties. And damn! It’s soaking wet. She moaned and groaned loudly.

Nag-red ang stoplight sa harap. Hallelujah!

Nang ihinto ko ang kotse agad niyang hinila ang ulo ko papunta sa kanya at hinalikan ako sa labi. Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang lasa ng mga labi niya na hinahanaphanap ko sa ibang mga babae. How I missed her sweet lips. Kung panaginip lang ito sana hindi na lang ako magising.

I moved her panties aside and circled her clit. She buck her hips against my finger. Bigla kaming natigilan ng bumusina ang kotse sa likod namin. I realized the light turned green. Umayos ako ng upo and I hit the gas pedal. 

Sandali akong napalingon kay Andi. She pulled her underwear down. Fuck! Nawawala ang concentration ko. Hindi ko alam kung sa kanya ako titingin o sa kalsada. She took my hand again ang brought it between her thighs.

I plunged two fingers inside her. Napasinghap siya.

  “You’re so tight.”  I groaned. She was so tight and warm. My shaft was hard and throbbing inside my jeans. 

“More… Oh God, more…”  She panted. I moved my fingers in and out slowly. She let out a grunt. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at kinontrol iyon. She slid my fingers all the way in and out of her. Pabilis ng pabilis. Shit! I think I’m going to come in my pants.

Sinubukan kong magconcentrate sa pagmamaneho habang ginagamit niya ang kamay ko na parang sex toy. Pagkatapos ng parang napakahabang biyahe ay nakarating din kami sa parking lot ng condo. 

Andi moaned in protest ng bawiin ko ang kamay ko. I quickly got out of my car at binuksan ko ang pinto sa passenger’s seat.  Nahihilo pa rin si Andi kaya hinawakan ko siya sa baywang at inalalayan habang naglalakad.

Pumasok kami sa condo building at sumakay sa elevator. We started making in the elevator. Naglakbay ang kamay niya sa jeans na suot ko. She palmed my buldge through my pants. Humiwalay ang labi niya sa akin at lumuhod siya sa harap ko. She unbuttoned my pants and pulled my shaft out. The tip was dripping with pre-cum and she licked it. 

“Andi, you don’t have to do this.”  Sabi ko sa kanya. My eyes widen as she took me in her mouth. She’s giving me head in the elevator. I can’t believe this girl kneeling in front of me is my Andi.

Huminto ang elevator at agad ko siyang hinatak patayo. Inayos ko ang pantalon ko at lumabas kami sa elevator. Nagmamadaling kaming pumasok sa condo unit. She immediately took her dress off. I stared at her beautiful naked body. Halos wala pa rin nagbago. Namumungay ang mga mata niya at ngumiti siya sa akin.

We started kissing again. She pushed me down onto the couch and sat on my lap. She grinded her pussy against the bulge in my pants. I bent my head down to lick her hard nipple. I took it in my mouth and gently sucked it. She moaned and tugged on my hair.

I felt my manhood twitch. I groaned and thrusted my hips forward. I rubbed myself against her and after a few moments, I finally reached my climax and came. I fucking came in my pants. Napasandal ako sa couch at niyakap ko ng mahigpit si Andi. My whole body was shaking.

Maya-maya pa ay tinulak niya ako pahiga sa couch. She straddled my head with her legs. Oh shit! 

“Eat me!”  She said as she lower her pussy to my face. I started to lick her wet folds. I missed this so much. I missed her smell and taste. I gently bit and sucked on her flesh. My tongue went inside her and pushed it in and out.

“Ahh… Jason, I’m coming…”  She moaned. Jason?  What the fuck? She moaned another man’s name while I’m eating her out. She came in my mouth and collapsed.

Binuhat ko siya papunta sa kwarto ko at hiniga sa kama. Tinakpan ko ng kumot ang hubad na katawan niya bago ko siya hinalikan sa noo. I stared at her face and tears started flowing out of my eyes. Hindi ka na nga pala sa akin. Pagmamay-ari ka na ng iba. Losing you was the biggest mistake I ever made. I wish we were back to the way we were.

Chapter Thirty Seven

I woke up with a pounding headache. I felt something heavy around my stomach. I gasped and sat right up when I heard someone breathing beside me. Napaupo ako at napasandal sa headboard. Napatingin ako sa tabi ko. Si Tristan. I suddenly remembered what had happened last night.

“Good morning.”  Tristan said with half open eyes. I pulled the blanket up to cover myself. 

He sat up next to me. Tatayo na sana ako ng bigla niya akong hawakana sa braso. I tried to get my arm away from him. He pulled me to his body at napasubsob ako sa dibdib niya. I pushed him away but he refused to let me go.

“I’ve missed you so much.”  He sobbed. I stopped fighting to get free. I hate him. I hate him so much! But God, I’ve missed him too. He kissed me on the forehead and I closed my eyes trying not to let the tears out. I don’t want to cry, not in front of him.

He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me on the tip of my nose and on the lips. It was a gentle but passionate kiss. I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck. He sucked on my lower lips seeking entrance. I opened my mouth for him and he slipped his tongue in.

His hand cupped my breast and squeezed it a little bit. I moaned in his mouth. He took my nipple between his two fingers and started rubbing it. His lips trailed down to my neck, biting, nipping and sucking it. I tangled my hands in his hair and moaned. His lips moved down to my breast. He teases me by kissing me around my nipple before finally taking it in his mouth while his hand play with my other breast.

I felt his other hand on my stomach sliding down to my womanhood. He slides his finger over my slit and I let out a sigh. He started playing with my clit, rubbing it between his two fingers.

“Ohh… mmm…”  I moaned. “More! I want more.”

Nag-angat siya ng ulo at tinitigan niya ako.  “Say my name.”

His fingers teased my entrance making me even more wet. I moaned and bucked my hip against him.

“Goddammit! Put your fingers in my pussy.”  I demanded.

“I want to hear you say my name.”  He said, hoarsely.

“Tristan… Please, Tristan.”  I cried. He pushed two fingers in me, penetrating slowly while his thumb rub my clit. I closed my eyes and threw my head back.

“Look at me, Andi. I want you to look at me.”  He said and I opened my eyes. He stared into my eyes.  “Who’s finger fucking you right now?”

“You are…”  I answered.

“Say my name.” 

“Tristan, oh God, Tristan!”  I screamed in ecstasy. He pumped his finger into me even faster and harder.

“Ayokong marinig mula sa bibig mo ang pangalan ng ibang lalaki.”  He nuzzled his head on my neck.  “Hindi ako si Jason.”  He said, his voice broke.

I know…  I knew it was him who was pleasuring me last night. I did it on purpose. I wanted to hurt his ego because he fucking deserves it. Gusto kong malaman niya na nakalimutan ko na ang mga hawak at halik niya. 

He spread my legs apart and got right in between. He pulled me to him and our sex were touching. He rubbed the tip of his manhood around my clit, teasing me. I bit my lower lip and arched my back. This is driving me crazy. He slid it up and down my slit before sliding himself inside me. 

I felt a little pain as he move. I can feel myself clamping on him. I pulled him to me and crashed my lips to him.

“Fuck! You’re so tight…”  He murmured against my lips. I opened my eyes and saw the sweat bead on his forehead. I gently bit his lower lip as he move further inside.  “I don’t think I can last much longer.”  He said. 

I wrapped my legs around his waist. I hate to admit it but I had missed his body so much, his kiss, his touch, everything about him. I felt an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia, it made me feel like I belong to him.

I couldn’t help but dig my nails on his back and he didn’t seem to feel anything. He broked the kiss to look at me.

“Who’s inside you?”  He stared into my eyes.

“Tristaaaan!”  I pulled him closer with my legs.

“That’s right, baby, scream it. Scream my name until the neighbors know who I am.”  He said breathing heavily. He lifted one of my legs up on his shoulder and it made him go even deeper, his balls slapping against my ass.

I repeatedly scream his name as he thrust in and out of me. I could feel my walls tighten around him.

“Tristan, I-I’m going to come.”  I cried out. 

“Then come.”  He said. I felt a burst of warm rush throughout my body. I came around his manhood, squeezing him. Then I felt him release his warm fluid inside me. We were both panting heavily trying to catch our breath. 

I placed my hands on his chest to push him and he rolled over next to me. Tumalikod ako sa kanya. He put his hand around my waist and scooted closer to me. I closed my eyes and felt his lips on my hair before I sat up and slide at the edge of the bed.

“Mahal ko.”  I heard him say.

“No. Don’t call me that.”  I said without looking at him. Hearing that made my chest feel like it was being stabbed. It just hurts too much. 

“Ands, I’m sorry…”  Mahinang sabi niya. I gritted my teeth. Mababalik ba ng sorry mo ang baby natin? Saying sorry won’t change anything.

I pulled the blanket and wrapped it around my body. I stood up and walked out of the room. He followed me and grabbed my arm and spun me to face him.

“Andi, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  His eyes started to water.  

“It’s okay. Nagpapasalamat pa nga ako sa ginawa mo. I’m glad I ended up with a decent guy and not some opportunistic former male prostitute. “  I looked at him with disgust.  “I wonder how many rich girls you had to sleep with para mabili ang lahat ng ito?”  I looked around his unit.

Nagbaba siya ng tingin. His grip loosened. I suddenly wanted to take what I said back. But then I remembered what he did to me and what happened to my baby. I wanted him to fall apart like I did.

He took a deep breath before speaking. “I just want you to know that Valerie and I never had a relationship…” 

“I don’t care. Wala na akong pakialam sa’yo. I don’t need your explanation.”  I said before turning away from him. BULLSHIT.  I found my dress lying on the floor near the door. I picked it up and put it on. I tried finding my underwear but I remembered I left it in his car. The thought of what happened in his car made me blush. I immediately shook it away from my mind.

“Ihahatid na kita.”  Narinig kong sabi niya while I was putting my shoes on.

“No, thank you. Kaya kong umuwi mag-isa.”  I said. 

“Please, Andi.”  Pilit niya.

Hindi ko siya pinansin. I went out the door and hurridly walked to the elevator. I tried my best to hold my tears. I just want to be happy and get the fuck over him. I thought I was done with this. God, why does it still hurt? I wish I could just erase every memory of him. He had messed me up. He had no idea how bad he had messed me up.

Chapter Thirty Eight

“Hi mom, hi dad. Miss me?”  I said in a cheerful voice. Naabutan ko sila ni Olivia sa veranda na nag-aalmusal. They turned their heads and their eyes lit up when they saw me. 

“Andi.”  Dad smiled from ear to ear. I tried my best not to roll my eyes.  “I’m so happy to see you, sweetheart.”

“From now on, you’ll see me everyday, dad. I’m staying here.”   And I’ll make your life a living hell.  I had to literally bite my tongue to keep those words from spilling out of my mouth.

“Andi, Anak…”  He got up from his seat at inalalayan siya ni Olivia. They both walked towards me and hugged me. Ugh! I wanted to push them away from me, these people are murderers, I had to remind myself that this is all for the show. I had to do this.

 “You don’t know how happy I am.”  Dad cupped my face and kissed me on the forehead.  “Sana mapatawad mo na ako. Pinagsisi-”

“I’ve already forgiven you, dad, mom. Let’s just forget about what happened.” I managed to say with a smile. Although saying that felt like acid burning in my throat. It still hurts to talk about it.

“Oh darling…”  He hugged me again. When Harold broke out of the hug, si Olivia naman ang lumapit sa akin.

“We’re so sorry. We love you so much, sweety.”  She looked at my face before giving me a hug.

“I’m s-sorry din sa inasal ko sa ospital.” 

“No, baby. It’s okay, we understand.”  Olivia said.

I joined them for breakfast. And I had to actually have a conversation with them. I was having a conversation with the people who killed my child. The two of them were so happy, little did they know that I only came back to ruin their lives. Just like how they ruined mine. After finishing my breakfast, I excused myself and went to my room. 

Pag-akyat ko sa kwarto ko nandoon na ang mga luggage na ipinaakyat ko kanina sa maid. Wala pa rin halos pinagbago ang kwarto ko. It was left the way I had seen it before I went to New York. Umupo ako sa gilid ng kama at biglang tumunog ang phone ko. 

Kinuha ko ang phone ko from my pocket. Jason’s name appeared on the screen. I clicked the answer button.  “Hello, husband.” 

“Wife.” I heard him chuckle on the other end. “Oh Andi.”

“Bumalik na ako sa mansyon.”  Sabi ko. 

“Good.”  He said.

“But, God, Jason, I can’t stand breathing the same air as them.”  I complained.

“It will all pay off in the end.” 

I rolled my eyes.  “Easy for you to say.”

“Don’t worry, Andi. Once I finish all my work, babalik ako d’yan sa Pilipinas para matulungan kita sa plano mo.” 

We talked for a few more minutes before ending the call. 

“Hi, Phoenix!”  We hugged when we saw each other. This is the first time we’ve seen each other again after so many years. He called me the other night and asked me to go to the company’s social event with him and I said yes. Now, he is here to pick me up.

“Hi.”  He said while staring at me from head to foot.  “You look great, Andi.”

I’m wearing a long burgundy dress with deep v-neck and high-thigh slit. I’ve worn it at a photo shoot before and I just loved it so much I had to beg the designer to let me keep it.  

“Thank you.”  I smiled.  “You look handsome in that tux.”  I patted his shoulder and he laughed.

He opened the car door for me and he went to the driver’s side.

“Alam mo bang masayang-masaya si uncle Harold habang magkausap kami at sinabi niya sa akin na bumalik ka na dito sa Pilipinas.”  Phoenix said while driving.   

I just shrugged. I didn’t say a word. 

“Anyway, salamat at pumayag kang sumama sa akin. You don’t know how much this means to me.”  Sabi niya.

“You know I can’t say no to you.” 

When we got to the event, I immediately was three familiar faces. Si Wayne, Si Axel at si Seth. May mga nagkukumpulang mga babae sakanila. Nang makita nila kami they headed straight towards us. Binati nila akong lahat.

“And laki ng pinagbago mo. Why aren’t you wearing your big dorky glasses? Nakakapanibago.”  Wayne said with a laugh.

“I’m wearing contacts.” 

“I’ve seen you on the cover of Cosmopolitan.”  Sabi ni Axel.

“Dude, you read cosmopolitan?”  Seth looked at him, weirded out.

“That’s so gay.”  Wayne commented.

“No, I do not read it. One of my girls happened to have a collection of Cosmopolitan magazines. “  He said.

After chatting with them for a few minutes bumalik na sila sa mga girls nila. Phoenix got me a glass of champagne. Tumingin ako sa paligid. May isang nawawala sa kanila. And then I saw him. Papalapit siya sa amin at may babae siyang kasama na nakakapit sa braso niya. I gripped the glass I’m holding tightly.

“Hey Phoenix, hey Andi.”  Bati ni Tristan. Next to him is a beautiful girl wearing an elegant black evening dress that complimented every curve in her body. She has long wavy black hair, a pair of big, brown eyes that made her look innocent and thin lips. She really is beautiful. I have met girls more beautiful than her but, God, I’ve never felt so insecure in my whole life.

“Hey.”  Phoenix said while staring at the woman. His eyes were focused on her, only her. She was looking at Phoenix, too. Their eyes were locked with each other. Something is going on between the two of them, I can feel it. I felt a sense of relief at the thought of that.

“Andi, this is Cassie.”  Tristan placed one arm around her shoulder. I tried to shrug off the annoyance building up inside me.  “Cassie meet Andi.”

I put on a fake smile.  “Nice to meet you, Cassie.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”  She said, smiling back at me. 

Dumating ang tatlong lalaki; si Wayne, si Axel at si Seth. They were surprised to see Cassie and they asked Tristan if he and Cassie are dating. Tristan said they aren’t and that made me hate her less. Narinig ko rin na ex pala ni Phoenix si Cassie kaya ganun na lang ang tinginan nila sa isa’t isa. We went to sit at a table together. Cassie and Tristan are sitting across from us. Cassie kept looking at us, hindi mapalagay ang babae. There was a hint of jealousy in her eyes as she looks at us. Nang makita niyang nakatingin din ako sa kanya, she quickly looked away. She probably thinks I’m his girlfriend. I couldn’t help but smile. This is getting interesting.

“Hey, Phoenix.”  Humarap ako sa kanya. 

He turned to me and put his arm on the back of my chair.  “What?”

“Can I ask you something?”  I said, almost whispering.

“What is it?”  Tanong niya. He leaned in closer to me.

“Closer.”  I told him. Lalo niyang nilapit ang mukha niya sa akin.

“Do you think I look like Jessica Rabbit in this dress?”  I asked. 

He laughed.  “God, Andi, that question was so random. Akala ko naman kung ano ang itatanong mo.”

Out of my peripheral vision, I can see Cassie frowning. She isn’t paying attention to Tristan or anyone. Her eyes were glued to Phoenix. I felt so guilty when I looked at her, hurt evident in her eyes.

They started talking about Phoenix and Cassie’s past. Inaasar nang mga lalaki si Phoenix kay Cassie at agad na nagbago ang mood niya. His face hardened. Iginigiit nila na mayroon pa siyang nararamdaman para kay Cassie and Phoenix started saying mean things.

“I never loved her. Nasaktan lang ang ego ko dahil sa tagal kong nagtiyaga sa kanya pero ibang lalaki ang nakina-”  He suddenly stopped mid-sentence. Wala ni isa sa amin ang nangahas magsalita. Lahat kami ay nagulat sa sinabi ni Phoenix. At that moment, I wanted to slap the living shit out of him. I kind of wish Cassie would slap her or grab the glass of water in front of her and throw it on him.

I looked at the poor girl. Her face paled. Her eyes started to water. I could tell that she was trying her very best not to cry. 

“E-excuse me.”  She said, her voice quivering, as she got up from the table. Nagmamadali siyang naglakad palayo. 

There was an awkard silence after that. 

“This is all your fault.”  Axel whispered to Wayne, but all of us can hear it.

“Woah, dude, don’t blame it on me. Nakisali rin naman kayo.”  Naiiling na sabi Wayne. 

“You started it.”  Sabi naman ni Seth. Para silang mga batang nagsisisihan.

“Shut the fuck up, all of you.”  Mahina pero mariin na sabi ni Phoenix.

“Way to go, asshole. Way to go.”  Tristan said, sarcastically. Nagtitigan sila ni Phoenix. After a few seconds, Tristan got up from his seat and walked away. Oh God! Pupuntahan niya si Cassie. I know it isn’t right pero naiinis ako. Cassie is the damsel in distress and Tristan is playing the knight in shining armor.

Isa-isang nagtayuan ang tatlong lalaki. Hanggang sa kami na lang ang naiwan ni Phoenix. He stayed quiet and seemed to be in deep thought. I could see the pain and regret written all over his face.

“Phoenix, you should apologize to Cassie.”  I finally broke the silence.

He just shook his head.  “I can’t.”

“ What do you mean you can’t? What you did was wrong. You embarrased her in front of your friends and me.“  Sabi ko sa kanya. 

Without saying a word he stood up and walked away. I followed him. Nakita namin si Cassie at Tristan na nag-uusap sa balcony. Lalapit sana namin sila but we both froze when we saw them kiss. Phoenix and I exchanged glances. I wanted to grab that bitch’s hair and throw her off the balcony. Phoenix’s eyes were cold and burning with fury.

Tumakbo si Cassie papasok at sinundan siya ni Phoenix. I saw him grab her and drag her out of the party. 

Bumalik ang tingin ko kay Tristan and he was looking at me. I gave him a cold glare before turning away from him.

“Andi!”  I heard him call me. He grabbed my wrist and turned me around to face me.

“Don’t touch me.”  I said in a low voice.

“Andi, what you saw-”

“I don’t fucking need your explanation.”  I said pulling my hand away from his grip. 

I hurridly ran out of the room and to the elevator. Tristan was running after me. I quickly pressed the close button but before the elevator door completely close, he reached out his hand so the door opens again. He got on the elevator and door closed.

“Ah, the elevator.”  He said shaking his head while smiling. 

I blushed when I remembered what happened the night I got drugged by the guy I met at the club and he brought me to his condo. Does he really have to remind that? I tried to pretend I was unaffected.

I finally breathed out, like I was holding my breath the whole time, when the elevator stopped at the lobby. Lumabas ako sa hotel and he was still following me.I hailed a taxi and Tristan, pinigilan ako ni Tristan.

“Ihahatid na kita.” He said.

Hindi ko siya pinansin at tinawag ko ang pansin ng taxi na parating. The taxi stopped in front of us. I was about to open the door when he slammed it close.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”  I faced him and gave him an angry look.

“There is no way in hell am I going to let you ride a taxi at night in that dress.”  His eyes scanned my body.

“Huwag mo akong pakialaman.” 

Just as I was about to open the taxi door again it drove off. Tinitigan ko siya ng masama.  “Please, leave me alone.”

“Andi, ayan ka na naman. You’re going to put yourself in a dangerous situation. Paano kung rapist ang driver ng masakyan mong taxi. Or worse, serial killer.”  He said calmly.  “Come on, I’ll drop you off your house.”

“You’re impossible.”  I said, shaking my head.

Dahil sa pamimilit at dahil wala naman akong dalang kotse at umalis na si Phoenix kasama si Cassie pumayag na akong ihatid niya ako. We went to his car. A red Bentley. How the hell did he afford to buy such an expensive car? I wonder where he got all his money. I bet he whored himself to a rich widow and he probably killed the widow to get her money or something like that. 

He opened the passenger door for me and I went in. He closed the door and jogged around to the driver’s seat. Hindi ko na kailangan ituro sa kanya ang direksyon nang mansyon dahil alam niya na. Nakapunta na siya dati doon and he almost didn’t make it out alive, he joked. I felt this strange bitter nostalgia when I remembered what happened years ago. When we were so in love with each other, or at least I thought he was in love with me, too. We fell silent. Both of us lost in our thoughts.

Huminto ang kotse sa harap ng gate ng mansyon. Lumapit ang guard sa amin and when he saw me he let us in. I’m sure Harold and Olivia are already asleep by now.

“Would you like to get inside and have some coffee?”  Tanong ko.

He looked at me puzzled. I just smiled at him, waiting for his answer. Oh yes, this will be perfect. So perfect. 

“Uh, sure.”  He answered, hesitant.

We both got out of the car and went inside the mansion. It was dark inside because everyone was fast asleep. I walked to the kitchen to make him a cup of coffee and I handed it to him. 

“Thanks.”  He said.

“Sure.”  I smiled at him.

He drank his coffee but immediately spat it out.  “What the hell did you put in my coffee?”

“Mouthwash.”  I answered.  “I will not let you kiss me after you’ve kissed another woman without washing your mouth.”

I cupped his face and kissed him hard.  I delved my tongue inside his mouth and he groaned. His arms wrapped around my waist, one hand slowly sliding down to my exposed leg. He lifted my leg up so he could rub his hardness against my crotch.

His hand went inside the slit of my dress until he got to my underwear. He rubbed his palm above my panties and I was grinding myself against him. His other hand slid up to my exposed cleavage and caressed it, slowly making its way inside. I wasn’t wearing a bra, his fingers easily found my nipple and pinches it.

His mouth traveled down my neck. Nibbling and sucking my sensitive skin and all I could do was moan. His hand went inside my underwear, tracing his finger on my wet folds. Rubbing it up and down repeatedly. He pulled aside the cloth that covered my breast with his other hand and lowered his head to suck it.

“Oh God, Tristan.”  I moaned as he suck my nipple and play with my clit. I gasped when he pulled at my nipple with his teeth. 

I wanted to protest when he took his hand out of my panties and he stopped sucking my breast. But before I could do so, he turned me around and made me bend over the counter. He lifted my dress up to my stomach.

“Shit.”  I heard him cursed, silently. I knew why. I was wearing a lacy thong that barely covered me. He fondled my exposed butt cheek before giving it a not-so-hard slap.  “Your ass is so sexy.”

“You’re so wet, baby.”  He said as he rub his fingers over my panties.

“Oh, Tristan! I want you.” 

“I know. And I want you, too. So bad.”  He said hoarsely. He knelt down and started licking me through my panties, running his tongue on my slit. I clutched the edge of the counter tightly, moaning and panting.

He finally pulled my thong down to my knees. His tongue flicked at my clit and I moaned even louder. I felt his finger tease my core making me wiggle. He slowly inserted one finger in and out, in and out, repeatedly. And he added another one. And another one. Soon enough, my legs began to shake and I orgasmed. He licked up all my juice not leaving a single drop. I can’t believe this. I just had an orgasm in my parents’ kitchen.

He stood up and I hear him unzipping his pants. Then I felt a warm, thick thing rubbing against my slit. I was still sensitive from the orgasm I just had. I screamed out his name, not caring even if the whole house hears it, when he entered his thick shaft inside me. Both his hands went to my breasts and started playing with it. He started by massaging and fondling it, then his fingers went to my nipples and pinched, twisted and pulled it. He rammed himself into me so fast and so hard, again and again.

I could feel another orgasm coming on and I welcomed it. After a few thrust, he shot his hot, sticky cum deep inside me. 

“Oh God, Andi, you feel so good.”  His semi-hard shaft is still inside me while he kisses my nape. He pulled out and I sighed at the emptiness. I could feel his cum dripping out of me when he pulled my thong up and my dress down.

“Thank God, your mom didn’t catch us this time.”  He chuckled.

I turned to face him and he smiled. He hugged me and kissed me on the lips. I could still taste myself on him.

“Goodnight.”  He whispered in my ears before breaking the hug.

“Sleep with me tonight.”  I said.

“Are you joking?”  He looked at me skeptical. I shook my head.  “But your parents…”

I rolled my eyes at him.  “Don’t worry about them.”

We went upstairs to my room and had sex again. After three hours of sex, Tristan finally fell asleep. I snuggled in his warm chest. I’ve really missed sleeping next to him, just listening to his heart beat. I closed my eyes pondering off to sleep.

“Good morning, mom. Good morning, dad.”  I cheerfully said as I walk to the dining room. 

“Good-”  Nahinto sila pareho ng mag-angat ng tingin. Olivia’s eye widened and Harold stiffened up. Lumingon ako sa likod ko at kinuha ang kamay ni Tristan. 

“G-good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Cordova.”  Tristan said while staring at the ground. He couldn’t look at them straight in the eyes. Ayaw nga niyang bumaba at pinilit ko lang siya. 

“Dito natulog si Tristan kagabi and he’s going to join us for breakfast. I hope you don’t mind.” 

Hindi sila sumagot. So I just pulled Tristan and we sat at a vacant chair next to each other. I secretly smiled. This is like a fucking reunion. Reunion ng mga taong sumira sa buhay ko. It was a really awkward breakfast. I was the only one doing all the talking. They couldn’t look at each other.

Chapter Thirty Nine

After the awkward breakfast, nagpaalam na si Tristan. I kissed him on the lips in front of my parents. And it wasn’t a quick peck on the lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a long deep kiss. He pulled away after a few seconds. Then he looked at my parents, who were both staring at us, with apologetic eyes.

He politely said goodbye to them. Olivia just gave him a nod and Harold didn’t even look at him. Umalis na si Tristan. I watched him go with my arms crossed across my chest and smiled. Dad got up from his seat and went out of the room. It was just me and Olivia.

She stayed quiet and just looked at me.

“May gusto ka bang sabihin?”  I asked her.

“You know about your father’s condition, Miranda. Please don’t upset him.”   She said softly.

“Hindi ba ako pwedeng magdala ng kaibigan dito?”  I asked innocently.

“What you’re doing is immoral. You’re a married woman. You shouldn’t be fooling around with other men. Paano kung malaman ito ng asawa mo?”

“Immoral? Well, isn’t that a bit rich coming from you?”  I chuckled. She looked away with guilt on her face.  “I can easily get away with it. Jason believes all the lies I tell him.”

“What if…”  She said in a small voice.  “What if you get pregnant again?”

  

 I glower at her. How dare she? How dare she even bring that up? My hand unconciously clenched. I wanted to scream at her but instead I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe to calm myself. “Wala ka nang pakialam doon. S

tay out of my business.“  I said through gritted teeth.  

“I’m sorry.”  I heard her say.

A week after nang unang sexual encounter namin ni Tristan nagpatingin ako sa doctor. We didn’t use protection and I was scared I might be pregnant. The result came out negative. I felt relieved but a little part of me was disappointed. I don’t want to get pregnant again because I’m scared of losing another baby. Since then, I started taking birth control pills. I had a feeling that it will happen again and I was right.

I went upstairs and checked my phone to find 3 missed calls from Aiko. I called her back immediately.

Tristan’s POV

Seven days. It’s been seven days since the last time I’ve seen Andi and I miss her so bad. What we did was wrong. But if right means losing her then I’d rather be wrong. I really wish I could have done things differently before. Sana humanap ako ng ibang paraan, sana hindi ko na siya ibinalik sa mga magulang niya pero gulong-gulo ang isip ko at nabalot ako ng takot ng mga panahong iyon. And now, she’s married to another guy. 

Hindi ko naman matanong si Phoenix tungkol kay Andi dahil galit siya sa akin dahil sa nakita niya noong social event. Sa tuwing makakasalubong ko siya binibigyan niya ako ng matalim na titig. I wanted to explain to him but I know he wouldn’t listen. Matagal na kaming magkaibigan ni Phoenix kaya kilala ko siya. Paniniwala niya lang ang gusto niyang paniwalaan.

“Hi, Cass.”  Bati ko sa kanya ng makita ko siyang naglalakad sa lobby.

She gave me a faint smile and she sped up her walk, avoiding eye contact with me. Cassie isn’t usually like that. Siguro naiilang siya dahil sa paghalik niya sa akin noong nasa party. Phoenix was being an asshole to her at nasaktan si Cassie sa pinagsasabi niya. She probably did it to make him jealous. It did work, didn’t it?

Phoenix is still in love with Cassie. And I think Cassie loves him, too. They’re just both far too stubborn to admit it. I shook my head. Bakit ba pinoprobelma ko ang love life ng dalawang iyon? I have my own problem. Si Andi. I really want to see her, and talk to her, and hug her, kiss her, make love to her. God, I miss her so much. Pakiramdam ko mababaliw ako kapag hindi ko siya nakita.

Hindi ko naman kayang pumunta sa mansyon ng mga magulang niya. Hindi naman ganun kakapal ang mukha ko. I don’t know why Andi did that. Bakit hinarap niya ako sa mga magulang niya at bakit wala man lang nagreact sa kanila. I know they didn’t want me there but why didn’t they do anything? Nagulat pa ako ng halikan ako ni Andi sa harap nila bago ako umalis at hindi man lang nila kami pinigilan.

Pagkatapos kong matapos ang trabaho sa opisina ay dumiretso ako sa club ni Wayne. I was hoping to see Phoenix there. I needed to talk to him and explain what happened at the party. 

“Hey.” 

Napalingon sila sa akin. Nawala ang ngiti sa labi ni Phoenix. Lahat ay natahimik. He gave me a cold glance before walking pass me.

“Saan ka pupunta?”  Tanong ni Wayne kay Phoenix. 

“Kailangan ko na umuwi.”  Sagot niya.

“But you just got here.”  Si Seth. 

“C’mon guys, you two better sort your shit out.”  Sabi naman ni Axel.

 I took a deep breathe and looked at Phoenix.  “Alam mo kung may problema ka sa akin sabihin mo.”

He glared at me and then smirked.  “Bakit mo naman iniisip na may problema ako sa’yo?”

“Yung nakita mo sa party. Iyon ba ang kinagagalit  mo?”

“Why would I be mad about that?”  His eyes narrowed on me.

“Because you still love her.” 

He laughed.  “I don’t love Cassie. She’s just some pussy I fucked. If you ant, you can have my leftover.”

“You’re a fucking coward.”  I shouted at him. Nagalit talaga ako sa sinabi niya tungkol kay Cassie. She’s a nice woman and she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.  “Cassie doesn’t deserve you cause you’re a coward. Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit ka niya pinagpalit sa ibang lalaki noon kasi-”

Bago ko pa matapos ang sasabihin ko ay naramdaman kong dumapo sa pisngi ko ang kamao niya. Napaatras ako habang sapo ang mukha ko. Nang makabawi ako ay agad ko siyang sinugod ng suntok. It turned into a full on fist fight.

Axel, Seth and Wayne were trying to stop us. Seth grab a hold of me and pulled me away from Phoenix. Hinawakan naman siya nina Wayne at Axel. Pilit kumawala siyang kumawala sa pagkakahawak ng dalawa at sinubukan akong sugurin ulit.

“Huwag kayong manggulo dito!”  Sigaw ni Wayne.  “Kung gusto niyong magpatayan dun kayo sa labas.”

They dragged us out of the club. 

“Ayusin niyo yan.”  Bulong sa akin ni Wayne. He patted me on the shoulder before going back to the club.

I looked at Phoenix and he’s looking right back at me like he wanted to kill me.

“I didn’t mean what I said. I’m sorry.”  Sabi ko. His face changed from angry to confuse.  “I was only trying to knock some sense into you. Do you realize what you’re doing? You’re letting the woman you love slip away from you because of your goddamn pride. Huwag mo na hintayin may dumating pang iba bago mo ma realize yan. Don’t wait until it’s too late.”

Tumalikod na ako sa kanya at sumakay sa kotse.

Pagkalipas nang ilang araw ay tumawag sa akin si Phoenix. He wanted to meet up with me. Nagkita kami sa isang coffee shop.

“Hey.”  He nodded. I sat at  the chair across him.

“Hey.”  I said back to him. 

He cleared his throat.  “I’m sorry for what happened at the club.”  Sabi niya.

“It’s okay. Kasalanan ko rin naman iyon. I provoked you.” 

“Let’s just forget it, ok?” 

Tumango ako.

“Pero bago natin kalimutan ang lahat I’d like to make something clear. Cassie is mine, you understand?”  He said with a straight face.

I grinned and nodded my head. May bahid ng inis sa mukha ni Phoenix ng ngumisi ako.

“And the kiss. It never happened, ok?”  He shot me an annoyed glare.

I smiled even wider.  “Ok, got it. It never happened. Never.”

Naging okay na ang lahat pagkatapos nun. 

“Dude, kumusta si Andi?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“I don’t know I haven’t seen or talked to her since that event.”

I slumped back into my seat and sighed. 

“Please, dude, help me. I want to see her so bad.”  Kung hihilingin niyang lumuhod ako sa harap niya para tulungan niya ako gagawin ko. I’m that desperate.

“You do know she’s already married, right?”  Tanong ni Phoenix.

“Yeah.”  Mahinang sagot ko at tumango-tango ako.

Andi’s POV

I lined up with the other models as the music start. The models in front of me started walking out onto the runway. My turn comes up, I took a deep breath and stepped out. And I saw his face. Akala ko namalik-mata lang ako. I looked at him again and I knew I wasn’t imagining it. He smiled at me and I knew it was real. I tried to ignore him and focus on my walk.

What the hell is he doing here?   When I reached the tip of the runway I striked a pose and turned to walk. Our eyes met again. He smiled at me and the pace of my walk fastened.  Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!  Was all I could think of as I walk back to the backstage.

Hindi ko na siya tinignan nang lumabas ulit ako sa runway. But I could feel his stare.

“Are you ok?”  Tanong sa akin ni Aiko pagpasok ko sa backstage.

“Y-yeah.”  I tried to smile.

I flew to New York para sa fashion week. I had to do this because I already signed a contract with Calvin Klein. After this fashion show, meron pa akong photoshoots.

“Oh my god, Miranda. You will not believe this.”  Nakangiting sabi ni Aiko habang nakatingin sa magazine na binabasa niya. We’re both getting our makeup done.

“What?”

“Miranda de Veyra, the new sex goddess. The icon of sex and fantasy.”  She read the article out loud.  “This is like the biggest joke of the century.”  Aiko laughed.  “Is it possible to be a sex goddess and be sexless? A sexless sex goddess. Ironic, huh?”

I rolled my eyes at her.  Sexless?  I wanted to laugh.

After the fashion show, nagbihis na ako ng ordinaryong damit. I started to pack up my stuff.

“Miranda, I have to go. My boyfriend’s waiting for me outside.”  Paalam ni Aiko. 

“Okay, bye.”  Sabi ko. We hugged each other and she left. I met her boyfriend when she picked me up at the airport days ago. He’s name is Eric, a lead vocalist of an indie band, they met at a bar a month ago. He seemed like a nice guy. I wonder how long they’ll last. Two more weeks, maybe? Wala naman nagtatagal kay Aiko. 

Si Aiko ang unang naging kaibigan ko dito sa States. She used to work as a reception at a restaurant and that’s where we met. Nag-apply ako bilang waitress sa restaurant na iyon. Naging malapit kami sa isa’t isa dahil siguro pareho kaming Filipina. Then we decided to share apartment because I couldn’t afford my rent alone. She used to tag me along to parties at siya rin ang nagtulak sa akin mag-model. 

“Andi.”  I froze as I heard that familiar voice.

I slowly turned around and saw him. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Inabot niya sa akin ang bouquet. I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked past him. He followed me out of the room.

“Andi, kailangan kitang makausap.”  He said.

“Leave me alone.”  I said with a straight face.

“I thought we were ok.” 

“You think we’re ok just because I had sex with you?”  I laughed sarcastically.  “It was just sex, plain fucking sex. It’s not going to change anything. You’re not the only guy I had sex with. And to be honest, you’re not that good in bed.”

“Mag-usap naman tayo. Pakinggan mo ako.”  Hinarangan niya ang dadaanan ko. I tried pushing him and he pulled into him and hugged me.  “I’m sorry Andi. I’m so sorry. Hindi ko ginustong iwan ka. I love you.” 

“I hate you. I hate you so much.”  I choked a sob and closed my eyes. I felt the sincerity in his voice but i can’t let myself trust him again and I won’t. He’s such a good liar. Naniwala na ako sa kanya noon and look what happened!

“I know.”  He said with a sad voice. 

But tonight, I wanted to forget everything. Just for tonight. I cupped his face and kissed him. We hurriedly got out when the cab pulled up.

As soon as the front door shut he kissed me torridly. His hands roamed all over my body. I unbuttoned his jacket and slid it off, still kissing him.

He carried me to my room and layed me on my bed. We started undressing each other until we were both fully naked. He lowered his head, his mouth latched onto my right nipple and started sucking it har like a hungry baby. His one hand went down to my stomach and to my tingling and moist flesh. I arched my back so it would press more against his hand.

We both froze when we heard the doorbell ring. 

“Shit!”  I pushed him off of me.

“Sino yun?”  He asked.

“Si Jason.”  I answered. Nagdilim ang mukha niya.

Tumayo ako sa kama at hinanap ang robe ko. My phone started ringing and the doorbell rang repeatedly. Hinatak ko si Tristan at ipinasok sa closet.

“D’yan ka lang.Huwag kang lalabas.”  I said before closing the door.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at binuksan ang pinto.

“What took you so long to open the door?”  He asked as his eyebrows furrowed.

“I-I was in the shower so I didn’t hear the doorbell ring.” 

He smiled and hugged me.

Tristan’s POV

Pagkaraan ng 30 minutes ay narinig kong bumukas ang pinto. I peered through the small crack of the louvered closet door. Pumasok si Andi at may sumunod sa kanya. Si Jason. He wrapped his arms around her waist from the back. He gave her small kisses on her neck. I felt my jaw clenched and my hands formed into fists. Gusto kong lumabas sa closet at hatakin palayo si Andi mula sa kanya. He moved the robe off her shoulder and started kissing her there.

I closed my eyes not wanting to see her being kissed by another man. I swallowed the lump in my throat and my eyes stung with tears that were threatening to spill. Hindi ako nakatiis. I opened my eyes again and I saw them on the bed. He was kissing her on the lips. Her arms wrapped around her neck. His hands were running up and down the side of her thigh.

And that was it. Hindi ko na nakayanan. Lumabas ako sa closet at hinatak ko siya sa likod ng shirt niya. 

“What the fuck?”  Kunot ang noong tumingin siya sa akin.

“Tristan!”  Narinig kong sigaw ni Andi.

I was about to throw a punch at him nang bigla akong pigilan ni Andi. She slapped me across the face.

“Get out!”  She pushed me.  “Get out of my house!”

“Andi.”  I tried to get closer but she stepped back.

“Aalis ka dito o tatawag ako ng pulis.”  Sabi ni Jason.

“Umalis ka na dito!”  Mariing sabi ni Andi.

I gave her one last look before I said I love her and walked out. My chest tightened with tears as I try to hold it back. I took a deep breath.

Chapter Forty

Nag-uunahang tumulo ang mga luha ko habang naglalakad ako sa gilid nang kalsada. Hindi ko na pinansin ang malamig na hangin na dumadampi sa balat ko. Alam kong si Jason ang mas higit na may karapatan kay Andi dahil kasal sila pero hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong sugurin siya kanina. Hindi ko kayang masikmurang panoorin si Andi na hinahawakan at hinahalikan ng ibang lalaki na katulad ng paghawak at paghalik ko sa kanya. 

I can still see Andi’s angry face when she she slapped me across the face and told me to get out of her house. Pakiramdam ko parang pinipiga ang puso ko. It hurts so much that it almost felt like physical pain. Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga para kahit paano ay mabawasan ang paninikip ng dibdib ko. The cold air when through my lungs and I exhaled it. I wonder what they’re doing right now. Are they already fucking their brains out? My hands clenched inside my pocket. The thought of that made me want to hit something or someone, specifically, Jason.

I strolled down the street of New York. Pilit kong nilibang ang sarili ko. Ayokong isipin ang posibleng nangyayari ngayon kay Jason at Andi dahil baka iyon pa ang ikabaliw ko. I stopped in front of a bar. I should just probably drown myself in alcohol before I lose my sanity. Pumasok ako sa loob at umupo sa isang stool sa harap ng bar counter. I called the waiter and ordered something to drink.

“Hey.”  Napalingon ako sa nagmamay-ari ng boses na iyon. It was from a blonde-haired woman sitting beside me. She smiled at me and winked at me and I smiled back at her before downing a shot of whiskey I had in my hand.  “I’ve never seen you here before. You’re not from around here, are you?”

I shook my head. 

“So, where are you from then?”

“I’m from the Philippines.” 

“I’ve never been there but I’ve heard alot about it.”  She said. I’m not really in the mood to talk to anyone right now. I wish she would just leave me alone.  “Oh by the way, I’m Loise. And you are?”

“Tristan.”  I said without looking at her. I want to be left alone and I want to stop thinking. I just want to drink and forget about what happened earlier. I want to numb this pain I’m feeling.

“So, Tristan, what brings you to the big apple?”  She asked.

“It’s a long story.”  I replied with a sigh.

Ngumiti siya sa akin.  “I have plenty of time.”

Napilitan akong ikuwento sa kanya ang mga nangyari. Ang pagsunod ko kay Andi dito at sa nangyari kanina. We drank and talk and she let me vent out my feelings. After awhile Loise started getting flirty and touchy-feely with me. I felt her hand stroking my thigh. When I looked at her she gave me a suggestive wink. She then sat on my lap and kissed me. I didn’t try to stop, I torridly kissed her back.

Hell! I’m not going to sit here and mope while she’s having sex with her husband. That’s not fucking fair. We got out of the bar and went to my hotel room. Before I knew it, we were lying on the bed making out and undressing each other. 

Andi’s POV

Dinampot ko ang jacket na naiwan ni Tristan kagabi. Something fell out of the pocket and I picked it up. A hotel key card and a piece of paper that had his room number on it. He’s staying at a hotel near here. Last night, I did the same thing he did to me years ago. Pinagtabuyan ko siya katulad ng ginawa niya sa akin noon. I should feel better dahil nakaganti na ako sa ginawa niya. But I don’t. I feel horrible.

Hindi ko naman talaga pinlano ang nangyari kagabi. I didn’t know na uuwi pala nang gabing iyon si Jason, I thought he was going to be spending the night at his friends house dahil iyon ang paalam niya sa akin. 

I unconsciously bit my lower lips, hindi ko makalimutan ang sinabi niya bago siya umalis. He said he loves me. I shook my head and pushed that thought out of my head. I’m not buying that bullshit anymore. The old stupid Andi was long gone.

“Good morning, wife.”  Jason came out of the kitchen holding a coffee mug.

“Morning.”  I said, giving him a slight smile. Jason can be cocky sometimes but he’s really a great person. You just have to give him a shot. I thought when I married him my life would be miserable but I was wrong. He had always been there for me when I needed someone, kahit ngayon nandito pa rin siya sa tabi ko para tulungan ako. He helped me put myself back together again.

“You look tired, did you sleep at all?”  Tanong niya. 

“Of course, I did.”  I answered. Nagkibit-balikat na lang siya.

“I’ve already booked our flights for tomorrow.”  He said, enthusiastically. 

“Great!”  I tried to sound excited. Gusto kong magdalawang-isip sa gagawin namin. Kaya ko pa bang ituloy ang plano kahit na may sakit si Harold. But then I thought, kulang pa ngang kabayaran iyon sa kinuha nila sa akin. They took my baby’s life. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. Nagtatalo ang isip ko. I just need to get some fresh air and think.  “I’m just gonna go our for a walk.”

I left the house and walked down the street for a few minutes until I found myself hailing a cab and asking the cabby to drive me at the hotel Tristan was staying at. What the hell am I doing? Tanong ko sa sarili ko habang nakaupo sa likod ng cab.

The taxi pulled up in front of the hotel. I made my way into the building and stepped into the elevator. Huminto ang elevator sa floor na pinindot ko. I strolled down the hall and looked for his room number. I slid the key card into the lock and quietly opened the door. Nakasarado ang ilaw at ang kurtina kaya madilim sa loob ng kwarto. Kinapa ko ang switch at binuksan iyon. 

I went to his bed and sat on the edge of it. I pulled the covers off him and was shock to see a naked girl lying beside him. For a moment, I saw complete red. My chest heaved up and down really fast.

“You son of a bitch!”  Dinampot ko ang unan sa tabi niya at hinampas sa kanya. 

“W-what the-”  He opened his eyes, looking confused and disoriented. He blinked a few times bago namilog ang mga mata niya.  “Andi, a-ano’ng ginagawa mo dito? Paano-”

  That bastard! He was having sex with another woman habang hindi ako makatulog kakaisip sa kanya kagabi. I felt my eyes burning. I tried my best to hold my tears back, I wasn’t going to let him see me cry. I am so stupid. I can’t believe I almost believed his lie! 

“What’s going on?”  The blonde haired slut lifted up her head. She looked at me confused before looking at Tristan.  “Who is she?”

Hindi niya pinansin ang babae. He sat up and tried to touch me pero mabilis akong tumayo sa kama. I looked at him with intense anger. 

“Andi… I…”  He paused, probably thinking of another lie to tell me. I guess wala na siyang maisip when he sighed and cursed. 

“You’re a fucking liar. May pa- I love you, I love you ka pa! Walanghiya ka.” 

“I… I think I better go.”  I heard miss Blondie said before getting up from the bed and picking her clothes up.

I tried to regain my composure. I turned around ready to leave when he grabbed me by the wrist.  “You are not going to leave. Mag-uusap tayo.”

 I tried to free myself from his grip but he wouldn’t let me. Hinawakan niya ako hanggang makabihis si blondie at makalabas. 

“Is she a prostitute? Did you pick up a prostitute last night?!”  My voice boomed all over the room.   “Ang cheap mo talaga! Sabagay, dati ka naman call boy kaya bagay na bagay kayo.”  I couldn’t contain my anger and those words just came pouring out of my mouth before I had the chance to even think about it.

“So what if she’s a prostitute? Ano bang ikinagagalit mo? Wala naman tayong relasyon. I can have sex with whoever I want.”  He said in a low, dark voice. 

I just stood there, dumbfounded for a moment. I didn’t know what to say dahil tama naman siya. I don’t have the right na magalit dahil wala naman kaming relasyon. But God, hearing that from him hurts so much.

“Why are you here, anyway? Pumunta ka ba dito dahil hindi ka mapaligaya ng asawa mo?”  He said with a smirk. “Tell me I fuck you better than your husband.”

Namilog ang mga mata ko. I slapped him across the face for the second time since last night. He pushed me up against the wall and looked at me intensely in the eyes. I placed my hands on his chest and tried pushing him but he wouldn’t budge.

“Tristan…”

My eyes grew bigger when I felt his hardness pressing against my stomach. I looked down and there it was, standing proudly. I started to get that tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach. I want that buried inside me. But I suddenly remembered that he slept with a prostitute, I felt my anger coming back and the sensation fading away.

Sinubukan niyang halikan ako sa labi but I turned my head and his lips landed on my cheek. 

“Get off me.”  I whispered, half-heartedly. His hot tongue licked my cheek and I had to bite mine to supress a moan. His one hand cupped my right breast as he began trailing small and light kisses on my cheek. 

  “Tristan, stop.”  I said when I felt his lips brushed my earlobe. He then started sucking and nibbling on it and a stifled moan escaped my lips. His hand kneaded my breast while the other one started making its way down. He rubbed me through my jeans causing wet heat to pool in my panties.

“I’m just scratch for your itch, aren’t I?”  He whispered in my ears with a hint of pain in his voice. His hands went on the button of my jeans and he undid it. Ipinasok niya ang kamay niya sa loob. I bit my lower lips to keep myself from moaning as he touch my wet folds. He traced his finger along my slit over and over.  “Is this want you want? Your husband can’t get you off?”

A soft moan left my mouth when he placed his finger on my clit and slowly rub it. His lips went down to my neck and sucked on it. I wanted to get lost in his touch but God, he slept with another woman last night. Hindi mawala sa isip ko iyon. I took a deep breath gathering enough strength to push him away. 

“Don’t you ever touch me again!”  I said in a loud shaky voice. Before he could come near me again, tumakbo ako palabas ng hotel room. I heard him calling my name but I ignore him. I ran to the elevator and I pressed the down button. The thirty seconds it took for elevator door to open felt like an eternity. Pinigil ko ang mga luha ko. No, I’m not going to cry for him. I shouldn’t cry for someone who isn’t worth it.

---

I’m sorry it took me awhile to update and I’m so sorry for this short and crappy update.  Stupid writer’s block :/

Chapter Forty One

I turned my head to look at Jason dahil kanina pa ito walang kibo. Parang halos wala akong kasama. He had a very anxious look on his face. I took his hand and he looked at me.

“Are you alright?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

He slowly nodded his head. “I guess so… yeah.” 

I know how hard it is for him na umuwi dito sa Pilipinas pagkatapos ng nangyari three years ago. That was the reason why he decided to move to New York with me and get married. We both wanted to leave our old lives and start anew. Forget everything bad that’s ever happened in the past and just move on. Ngunit hindi pala ganoon kadali iyon. Hindi ko kayang kalimutan na lang ang lahat.  

“You’ll be fine.”  I gave his hand a squeeze of assurance and a smile spread over his lips.

Agad namin nakita ang driver ni Harold pagkalabas ng airport. He took our luggage and loaded it in the trunk. We climbed into the backseat and drove off. Nanatiling walang imik si Jason sa biyahe. Huminto ang kotse sa harap ng mansyon at agad kaming sinalubong ni Harold at Olivia pagbaba namin. 

“Welcome back, sweetheart.” Harold gave me a tight hug but I quickly broke it off. Olivia looked at me with slight hesitance before giving me a hug. Agad akong lumayo sa kanila at tumabi kay Jason. He puts one arm around my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“We’re so happy to see you again, hijo, after such a long time.”  Sabi ni Harold kay Jason. They made some small talk bago pumasok sa mansyon.

Naghanda sila ng pagkain and we all ate together.

“Hijo, how long are you planning to stay here in the Philippines?”  Harold started the conversation while we were eating.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Jason bago siya tumikhim.  “Just a couple of months.”

“Ayaw mo bang manatili na lang dito sa Pilipinas? Bakit nga pala hindi ka pumasok sa pulitika? Ikaw lang ang nag-iisang anak ni Edgardo, ipagpatuloy mo ang nasimulan ng inyong pamilya.”  Sabi ni Harold.

“Madalas akong kulitin ni dad tungkol sa bagay na yan noon but I just don’t see myself ever entering politics.”  Sagot ni Jason bago sumubo.

“Kung ayaw mong pumasok sa pulitika pwede ka naman magtrabaho sa kumpanya ng mga Cordova, hindi ba, Harold?”  Singit ni Olivia.

“Yes, of course. You’re a smart, young man. Any company would love to have you. Kung gusto mo ay kakausapin ko si James.”  Sabi ni Harold. James is his older brother and Phoenix’s father.

“Mas makakabuti kung dito na lang kayo sa Pilipinas. Life in America is too fast-paced and busy. No wonder hindi kayo makabuo ng baby. Gusto ko na rin magkaroon ng apo.”  Si Olivia. The last sentence ruffled my feathers. Meron na nga dapat. But they killed my baby and now she’s saying she wants to have a grandchild. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Hindi ba nila apo ang pinatay nila years ago?

“Oh you do, mother?”  I asked with a sarcastic tone and a bitchy smirk. Nag-iba ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya. Nawala ang ngiti sa mga labi niya at nagbaba ng tingin.  “I thought you didn’t want-”

“So, Jason, what do you say?”  Pag-iiba ni Harold. He was trying to hide the panic in his voice.  “

“I’ll consider it, dad.”  Sagot niya.

After that, we all fell silent. Tahimik kaming kumain at hindi na sila nagsalita pa. Pagkatapos namin kumain ay agad kaming umakyat sa kwarto ko. I started unpacking my clothes while Jason sits cooly on the reclining chair in the corner of the room.

“You have to get him to trust you.”  Sabi ko.  “Kapag nakuha mo na ang tiwala niya, magagawa na natin ang plano natin. Kaya mo bang gawin iyon?”

“It’ll be a piece of cake.”  He said.  “Ako na ang bahala doon.”

  “Have you talked to a lawyer already?”  Tanong ko.

“Yes, I did. Actually, I already scheduled a meeting with the lawyer.” 

“Good. I know I can count on you.”  I said with a smile.

“Anything for my lovely wife.” 

After unpacking all my things, lumabas ako ng kwarto. I remembered na kailangan ko pa lang kausapin si Phoenix. That idiot! 

“Andi…”  While I was walking palabas ng bahay ay nakasalubong ko si Harold.

I turned to face him. He smiled at me but his eyes were sad.  “I’m so happy you’re back.”

“May sasabihin ka ba? I have to go somewhere.”  I said in a bored tone.

“Yes.”  He said before clearing his throat.  “Alam kong hindi mo pa ako napapatawad sa ginawa ko. Alam kong hindi ganun kadali iyon. Hindi na nga ako umaasang mapapatawad mo pa ako. But, darling, you deserve peace of mind. You have nothing to blame yourself for. I just want to see my baby girl happy again.”

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. How I wish it’s that easy. I think I’ll only have my peace of mind kapag nakaganti na ako sa inyo.

I regained my composure.  “Like I told you before nakalimutan ko na iyon. You were right, it still wasn’t a baby. It was only… only a lump of cells.”  My voice broke a little. I’m sorry, baby.  I felt really bad sa sinabi ko. I have to convince Harold na wala na akong galit sa kanila. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could get out the words I turned my back on him and walked away. 

I opened the door to his office. I saw Cassie and Phoenix sitting on the couch, their faces were only inches from each other. Agad silang nagulat sa pagbukas ng pinto at napalingon sa akin. They were both startled. That little whore! Ngayon wala si Tristan, si Phoenix naman ang nilalandi. 

I tried to keep my cool and smiled.  “Hi, Phoenix.”

“Andi!”  Tumayo siya at lumapit sa akin.

“Missed me?”  I hugged him and he hugged me back.

“Of course, I did.”  He answered.

“May kasalanan ka sa akin.”  Mahinang sabi ko habang nakangiti. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.  “Anyway, I went straight here from the airport. I’m still kind of hungry right now.”  I said to him before looking at Cassie.

“Why don’t we just eat out for lunch?”  Tanong ni Phoenix.

  “No, I don’t feel like going out.”  I said before looking at Cassie.  “You’re his secretary, right?”

“Yes.”  Sagot nito.

“Then why are you slacking off? You don’t get paid to stand around.”  I was already in a bitchy mood since makaharap ko si Olivia at Harold. Lalo lang nadagdagan ng makita ko itong babaeng ito. I could feel my blood boiling. God, she’s such a flirt. Ano bang nakita ni Tristan at Phoenix sa kanya?   “Go get me something to eat.”  She has to go! I want to talk to him na wala ang malanding iyan dito. He is so going to get a piece of my mind. Nakuha naman agad iyon ni Phoenix. 

“Why don’t you buy her something to eat, Cassie.”  He said softly to her. She stared at him for a few seconds before nodding her head. Maya-maya ay umalis na ito.

“You know, you could be a little nicer to her.”  He calmly said but I noticed how annoyed he was.

I shook my head, rolling my eyes.  “You are pathetic. Akala ko ba wala kang pakialam sa kanya?”

Hindi siya sumagot. I could tell that it was making him uncomfortable. He folded his arms and shrugged. For fuck’s sake, that whore cheated on him. At ngayon ay kalandian niya pa nito si Tristan, his own friend! Walang delicadeza. I can’t believe this. 

“Ikaw ang nagsabi sa kanya kung nasaan ako.”  I looked at him sharply.

“What are you talking about?”  Kunot ang noong tanong niya.

“You know what I’m talking about. You told him about the fashion show kaya pinuntahan niya ako.”  Nabanggit ko iyon kay Phoenix noon. Wala naman akong maisip na magsasabi kay Tristan tungkol doon kung hindi siya lang.   

“Nagkita pala kayo.”  He said.

“God, Phoenix! Why did you do that? Wala kang karapata na gawin iyon. Alam mo naman na may asawa na ako, hindi ba?”  I couldn’t help but raise my voice. 

“Sabi niya gusto ka lang niya makausap. Wala naman masama dun.”  Sabi niya. Oh we did more than talk! I’m just glad na dumating si Jason bago pa may nangyari sa amin. Ang walanghiya, may nahanap agad na babae after we almost had sex. I hope he catches std from that girl he slept with and his dick falls off. 

“Ayoko siyang makausap. I don’t want anything to do with him.”  Mariin na sabi ko.  “You know what, you’re desperate! Itinutulak mo sa akin si Tristan so you can have Cassie all to yourself! Huwag niyo akong idamay sa love triangle niyong tatlo.”

 

“Hindi iyon ang intensyon ko. Gusto ko lang talagang makapag-usap kayo ng maayos” Phoenix said. 

“Wala na kaming dapat pag-usapan dahil matagal na kaming tapos.” 

“Sa’yo siguro tapos na but not for Tristan. He could never get over you.”  Seryosong sabi niya. There is silence for a few seconds. I wanted to believe but how could I? He could never get over me? Right! That’s why he went around screwing another girl in New York.

“Do you love your husband?”  Nagsalita ulit si Phoenix.

“O-of course… of course I do.”  I said trying to sound convincing.  “

I wouldn’t marry him if I don’t. What kind of questions is that?“ 

Nagkibit-balikat siya.  “I’m just asking. Look, I’m sorry for meddling. I know it wasn’t my place but I just thought you two needed to talk. Maybe he just needs closure. Maybe that would be enough for him to realize that he needs to get over you and move on.”

Get over me? Move on? Hindi ba matagal na niyang ginawa iyon. Noong ipinagtabuyan niya ako dahil pinagsawaan niya na daw ako. He left me and now he wants me back? I’m not a toy he could play with whenever he feels like it. Iiwan niya ako tapos babalik siya ngayon. Did he honestly expect me to wait for him?

“You don’t know anything.”  I said quietly but harshly.

“That’s why I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”  He apologized sincerely.

I just sighed and decided to let it go. Inaba ko na lang ang usapan. I don’t want to think about Tristan anymore. I don’t want to talk about him. Out of sight, out of mind. I promised myself I would never let him affect my feelings anymore. 

Phoenix told me he was going to Malaysia to meet up with investors who’s interested in funding his business project. He was planning to open a branch in Kuala Lumpur. I want to go with him. I’ve never been in Malaysia. I feel like I need  to go somewhere or do something, anything to keep my mind off of things. 

Dumating si Cassie na may dalang pagkain. I’m not really that hungry. I just wanted her to leave kanina so I could talk to my cousin without her around.

“Finally! What took you so long?”  I said slightly irritated. Phoenix gave me the look and I rolled my eyes at him.

“I’m sorry. Traffic kasi saka maraming tao sa restaurant.”  She said in a low voice. She handed me a paper bag na may laman na Italian salad na nakalagay sa take out container. 

“Whatever.”  I said, sounding annoyed and bored at the same time.  “Come on, Phoenix. Let’s it na.”

“No thanks. Ikaw na lang. I’m not hungry.”  Sagot niya.

“Come on. Ayokong kumain mag-isa.”  Pilit ko sa kanya.

“Really, I’m not hungry. Baka nga kulang pa sa’yo yan.”  He joked. Cassie was already back, sitting at her desk. But I could feel her staring at us. Pa simple akong tumingin sa kanya. And she really is looking at us.  There was a hint of jealousy flickering in her eyes. What a greedy little bitch. She can’t have all the men in the world. Bagay nga sila ni Tristan, they’re both cut from the same cloth.

I decided to up the ante. I got malambing kay Phoenix just to make her even more jealous.  “Fine. I’ll just have to force you to eat.”

I dug my fork into the salad and nilapit ko ito sa kanya.  “Eat…”  I said in a very malambing tone of voice while I give him the just-play-along look.

He looked at me a bit confused but then he finally got it and just laughed. Napailing siya bago nagsalita.  “Damn. You know I can’t say no to you.”

“That’s because you love me.”  I said in a playful, childish voice.

He laughed again and playfully rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, cause I love you.” 

“Bukas ka na aalis papuntang Malaysia, hindi ba?”  I asked him.

He nodded his head.  “Yeah, why.”

“I wanna come with you. Can I?”  Tanong ko sa kanya. I don’t want to stay sa mansion ng mga Cordova. I need to get away from that hell hole. Bahala na muna si Jason. He knows what he’s supposed to do naman.

He paused for a minute before answering.  “Sure.” 

“Yay! I’ll pack my things na mamaya.” 

After chatting with him for a few more minutes nagpaalam na ako. I just unpacked my stuff kanina, and now I’ll have to pack again. Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, Jason and Harold were already bonding. They were at the veranda and they looked like they were drinking alcohol. Lumapit ako and I hugged Jason around the neck from behind and kissed him on the cheek.

“Baby…”  Lumingon siya sa akin. He took my head and brought me in front of him. And then, he kissed the back of my hand before I sat down at the chair next to him.  “Ang bilis mo naman. I thought you would take long so Dad and I decided to have a drink.”

“It’s okay, babe. Pinuntahan ko lang ang cousin ko, si Phoenix.”  I said.

“I haven’t talked to him for awhile. How is the boy doing?”  Tanong ni Harold.

“He’s fine, dad.”  Sagot ko.  “Actually, pupunta nga siyang Malaysia for a business trip tomorrow. And I’m going to come with him.”

“Paano na si Jason? Iiwan mo ang asawa mo?”  Harold asked.

Jason and I exchanged looks before answering. “Well, marami pang kailangan gawin dito sa Pilipinas. He’ll be really busy. Hindi ba, babe?”

“Yeah. Aayusin ko pa ang kaso ni mama.”  Sabi ni Jason.

Meredith was convicted for killing her husband, Jason’s father, three years ago. That’s the reason why Jason decided to go to New York with me. He’d tried to forget everything that had happened but the past keeps haunting him. The truth is, walang kasalanan si Meredith. He told me he was the one who shot his father. Nakita niyang sinasaktan ni tito Ed si Meredith at tinutukan niya ito ng baril. Jason tried to get the gun from him but accidentally fired, shooting his father in the chest. Sinalo ni Meredith ang kasalanan ni Jason. He still carries the guilt of accidentaly killing his father. And I carry the guilt of not being able to do anything to save my baby. Maybe that’s why we understand each other, we both share the same pain.

I promised him na kapag nagawa na namin ang plano ko. I’ll help Meredith get out of jail.  I would do everything I can para makalabas siya sa kalungan.

After that, I went upstairs to my room to pack some of my clothes up para bukas.

Kinabukasan ay nagkita kami ni Phoenix sa airport. I was surprised when I saw Cassie with him. 

“Good morning.”  He greeted smiling.  “Coffee?” Itinaas niya ang isang cup na coffee na hawak niya.

“No, thanks.”  I said.

Tumingin ako kay Cassie. I eyed her distastefully. She didn’t even bother to look at me. She seemed sort of spaced out. 

“Carry my luggage.”  I said handing it to her. I had to repeat it to her before she snapped out of her trance. Kinuha niya ang luggage ko at dinala iyon. Kinawit ko ang kamay ko sa braso ni Phoenix at naglakad kami. Cassie was walking behind us.

“You better stop that, Andi.”  Phoenix said in a low, warning tone. 

“Stop what?”  I asked innocently.

“Stop bossing her around.” 

“It’s her job.”  I said matter-of-factly,

“Hindi niya iyon trabaho. She’s not your slave.”  He said in a slightly angry tone.

I smiled mockingly.  “Teka, teka… don’t get too worked up. Luggage lang pinabuhat ko sa kanya, hindi dalawang sakong bigas.

“

Napalingon kami when we both heard Cassie scream followed by a loud slam. Nakita na lang namin si Cassie na nasa sahig. I rushed to her.  Stupid bitch.

“Oh God! My Louis Vuitton luggage. This cost a fortune!”  I shrieked. Phoenix threw me a spiteful look. He looked like he wanted to skin me alive. I helped Cassie get up bago pa ako mapatay ng pinsan ko. This bitch doesn’t deserve him. God, she cheated on him! And she might be fucking Tristan. My cousin is so stupid. I guess it runs in the family. Naalala ko when I was willing na magtanga-tangahan, just so he wouldn’t leave me. I was so stupid back then. I should’ve kicked him in the nuts or chopped his dick off or something like that.

Mabilis lang naman ang flight. It only lasted 3 hours. The plane landed on Kuala Lumpur. A limousine was already waiting for us outside of the airport to take us to the hotel. Bumaba sila sa hotel but I asked the driver to take me to the mall. I got a credit card na linked sa account ni Harold. It’s time to shop til I drop! I bought bags, shoes, clothes and just about just about anything in sight. That’s like a huge fuck you to him. Well, not really. Hindi naman talaga makakaapekto sa kayamanan niya ang shopping spree ko. Simula pa lang ito. Mapupunta din sa akin lahat ng kayamanan niya and he would have nothing.

After hours of shopping, nakita ko si Cassie and Phoenix. They were together. We decided na sabay na bumalik sa hotel. Gusto ko pa sana mag-explore but I was too damn tired. Cassie went to her hotel room and Phoenix and I went to the bar sa hotel.

Nagpaalam na ako sa kanya after a few drinks and went  to my hotel room. I quickly fell asleep. When I woke up, I decided to go for a swim. Meron kasing pool sa baba and the weather was good. I put on the swim suit I bought yesterday. 

I was getting ready to get in the pool. Nakaupo ako sa pool lounge chair and I was putting on sunblock. I saw them again, Cassie and Phoenix. They sat at the table beside the pool. Nilapitan ko sila.

“Good morning.”  I greeted them. I hugged Phoenix before sitting beside him. He had a wide smile plastered on his face. Which is really weird dahil sanay akong nakasimangot siya.  “You have ‘I got laid’ written all over your face.”  I joked.

“Cassie’s pregnant with my child.”  Phoenix proudly said. I was shocked for a moment. 

“Really?”  I asked. Cassie nodded her head.

“Oh my god. You guys had sex.”  Well, that was a stupid thing to say. Of course, in order to make a baby you have to have sex. But how sure is he na sa kanya yung bata? I mean, if she also had sex with Tristan- I gasped at the thought of that.  

“Andi!”  

“Akala ko ba matagal na kayong hiwalay. And what about Tristan?”  I asked.

“What about him?”  Phoenix frowned at me. 

“I thought they were dating. I saw them– we saw them at the event. They were kiss-” 

“Andi, enough!”  He raised his voice at me. He sounded really mad.  “There is nothing going on between Cassie and Tristan.”

Why do I feel like crying? I felt a rush of… some sort of envy. It was a bittersweet kind of feeling. Of course, I’m happy na magkakaron siya ng baby but there’s a part of me that ached. I ached for the baby I lost. I kind of miss him or her even though I never got to see or hold my little angel. I felt robbed of motherhood.

“I heard my name.”  A very familiar voice coming from my back said. And I just froze.

“Tristan, c’mon, join us for breakfast.”  Aya ni Phoenix.

“Why is he here?”  My eyes narrowed at him. 

“I need him here. He is a part of this business as much as I am. “  He answered. 

“Is there any problem, Andi?”  Tanong ni Tristan. Yes! You’re the fucking problem! Tumayo ako sa upuan ko. 

“I think I’ll go for a swim now. Congratulations on your pregnancy, Cassie.”  I said in a flat voice. And before I could get away, Tristan gripped my wrist.

“Andi…”  Nagmamakaawa ang boses niya.

“Get your filthy hand off me!”  Sabi ko bago ko pilit na tinanggal ang kamay niya. I pushed him and ran. He ran after me, calling my name. We were both panting for air nang tumigil ako. Isinandal niya ako sa wall and he cornered me with his arms.

“Leave me the fuck alone.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Please, Andi, just listen to me. I’m so sorry for what happened in New York. Nadala lang ako ng selos.”  There was sadness in his eyes. “You don’t know how painful it is for me to see you kissing another guy. Ang masakit pa dun, siya ang may higit na karapatan na gawin iyon sa iyo. I almost lost my sanity that night.”

“You know what’s painful than that? Ang ipagtabuyan ka ng taong mahal mo. Naranasan mo na ba iyon, Tristan?” 

“Andi…”  His eyes watered.

“I guess not.”  I managed to smile despite the pain I’m feeling. 

“Sa maniwala ka man o hindi, hindi ko ginusto iyon. I got scared.”  His voice broke.  “Nasundan tayo ng mga humahabol sa atin. Natakot akong baka may gawin silang masama sa’yo kaya pinili kong ibalik ka sa mga magulang mo.”

I looked at him in disbelief.  “And you expect me to believe that? Huwag mo akong gawin tanga, Tristan!”

“Mahal ko, I swear to God, I’m telling the truth.”  There was desperation in his voice. Lies, lies, lies. 

He clearly said na pinagsawaan niya na ako kaya he wanted to get rid of me. Na pabigat lang ako sa buhay niya. Hindi ko makakalimutan lahat ng sinabi niya ng araw na iyon. And now he’s telling me a whole different story.

“Hindi na ako ang uto-uto na Andi noon. Tigilan mo na ako!” 

He buried his face into my neck.  “Mahal ko, please believe me… I love you, I never stopped loving you.”

God, he’s so good at lying. I really wanted to believe him but I just don’t. There’s too much damaged done. Hinding-hindi na ako maniniwala sa kahit ano man ang sabihin niya. 

I pushed him away from me. And then I ran again, umakyat ako sa room ko at nagkulong doon. I spent the whole day inside my hotel room. I opened a bottle of wine and drank it. Kung hindi niya ako binalik sa mansyon, the abortion wouldn’t have happened. I lost a baby dahil sa desisyon niyang iwan ako. 

Nang mag gabi na ay lumabas ako sa hotel room dala-dala ang isang bote ng wine. I went to the pool area. Wala nang tao doon. I sat on the edge of the pool with my feet in the water. Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapaiyak as I thought about my little angel. My baby never even got a chance to live.

“Are you okay?”  Napalingon ako sa nagmamay-ari ng boses. Cassie was standing beside me.

“Cassie…”  I was kind of startled ng makita ko siya. She sat down beside me.

“Ano’ng problema?”  May pag-aalalang tanong niya.

I forced a smile as I shook my head.  “Nothing. I-I just needed a good cry.”  I poured wine in the empty glass and offered it to her.  “Want some?”

“No, thanks.” 

“Oh sorry, I forgot. Buntis ka nga pala.”  I laughed, I knew I was already drunk. It was the wine.  After a while my laughter died down and my tears began spilling out of my eyes again. “You’re so lucky, do you know that? You’re lucky to have that baby. Kayo ni Phoenix.”

 She gave me a smile.

“He isn’t as cold-hearted as you think he is. He cares about you, Cassie. He cares about you so much.”  I said before taking a sip of wine.  “Sorry for the way I treated you.”

“Alam mo, kalimutan na natin iyon.”  She gave me a warm smile.  

“Ilang months na ba siya?”  Tanong ko.

“We’re still not sure.” 

“I’m so excited na makita ang pamangkin ko. I’ve always wanted to have a baby.”  I told her. Hindi ko mapigilan ang bibig ko. I shouldn’t tell her this but I think it’s the alcohol working. “You know, I got pregnant once.”

  “So, may baby ka na?” 

I shook my head. I feel like I’m about to cry again.  “Wala.” 

My baby’s an angel now.

“I’m sorry, I’m such a mess.”  I laughed despite the tears that were flowing down my cheeks. Marahas kong pinunasan iyon. Tumayo ako at pumasok na sa hotel.

I felt really dizzy from all the alcohol. Napakapit ako sa wall habang naglalakad pabalik sa room ko. And then I felt a hand on my waist. Napalingon ako, it was Tristan.

“Mahal ko, lasing ka na.”  He said softly.

“Leave me alone…” 

“Ihahatid na kita sa kwarto mo.”  He pulled me towards him. Wala na akong lakas para lumaban sa kanya so I just let it be. He lifted me off the ground and carried me.

Tinanong niya ang room number ko at sinabi ko iyon sa kanya. And then I gave him my key card. Hiniga niya ako sa kama pagpasok sa kwarto.

“What are you doing?”  I asked him when I felt him lift my shirt up.

“Huwag kang mag-alala. Hindi kita pagsasamantalahan.”  He chuckled. He took my shirt and my jeans off. Pagkatapos ay kinumutan niya ang katawan ko.

“Tristan…”  I called him when I felt him get off the bed.

“Yeah?” 

“Tabihan mo ako.” 

And then I felt his weight on the bed again. He pulled me closer to him.  

“Tell me hindi mo anak ang dinadala ni Cassie.” 

“What?”  There was a mix of surprise and amusement in his voice.

“It’s not your baby, right?”

“No!”  Agad na sagot niya.  “It’s not mine. Walang nangyari sa amin ni Cassie. Wala kaming relasyon.”

I smiled nang marining ko iyon mula sa kanya. Kung magkakaron siya ng baby, it should only be ours. He can’t give his sperm to other women. Only me. 

I felt him kiss my forehead.  “I love you, mahal ko.”  That was the last thing I heard before I drifted to sleep. 

---

Guys, sorry talaga sa bagal ng update. I know I promised na mag-uupdate ako ng madalas sa sembreak pero hindi ko nagawa. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me. lol

Chapter Forty Two

I woke up with my head on Tristan’s chest while one of my legs were wrapped around his waist. I slowly lifted my head off his chest and sat up carefully, trying not to wake him up. Hinatak ko ang kumot when I realized I was wearing nothing but panties. But he was fully clothed. I remembered what happened last night. I drank alot last night and I could barely walk pabalik sa room ko. Tristan saw me and carried to my room.  He stirred a little when he probably felt me pull the blanket. Nagulat ako ng gumalaw ang mga kamay niya and he wrapped it around my waist. He scooted closer to me at ipinatong ang ulo niya sa lap ko.

I stared at him for a moment. He looked so beautiful sleeping. I couldn’t help but run my finger through his hair and admire him in his sleep. I used to always do that when we were still together. Gustong-gusto kong tinititigan siya habang natutulog. He actually looked even more handsome than before. His already sharp features became sharper and more define, and his body- Oh dear, his body was absolutely stunning. Just one look at him and I could tell that he’s been working out, hard. 

No wonder madami kang nalolokong babae.  Parang napaso ang kamay ko ng pumasok sa isip ko iyon at agad kong inilayo sa kanya. Nabuhay na naman ang galit ko. How could I let myself forget, even just for a minute, what he did to me? 

I was surprised when he took my hand and brought it to his lips. Tumingin ako sa kanya and his eyes were already open and they were looking at me. He slowly smiled at me. A lazy, sexy smile. 

“Ge-get off me.”  I said in a small voice before pushing his head away from my lap.

He sat up and looked at me with a wide grin on his face.  “Did you really think Cassie is pregnant with my child?”

Hindi ako nakasagot. I couldn’t think of anything good to say.

“Nagseselos ba ang mahal ko?”  Malambing na sabi niya. Like the way he used to talk to me kapag nagseselos ako kay Valerie noon.

“Me? Jealous?”  I laughed sarcastically.  “Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Bakit naman ako magseselos?”

  “Because you still love me. Nararamdaman ko.” 

I frowned at him. “Well,

nagkakamali ka sa nararamdaman mo. I don’t love you.“ 

“Really?”  He flashed a naughty smile that made my heart skip a beat. 

“Tristan!”  I shrieked in surprise when he grabbed my ankle and pulled me at napahiga ako sa kama. He was sitting in between my legs and he wrapped it around him, making our crotch touch. Kahit na may suot siyang pants I could feel his hardness pressing against me.Shit! I could feel my panties getting moist. My body wanted him badly, my whole body ached for him to fill me. No… no, no, no! This isn’t supposed to be happening! I wiggled, trying to get away from him. Kinuha niya ang dalawang kamay ko gamit ang isang kamay niya ang pinned them above my head.

“Now, tell me you still love me.”  He leaned over, staring right into my eyes.

I tried to squirm out of his grip but he held me too tight.  “I don’t love you! I love my husband.”

“I am your husband.” 

“No, you aren’t! Jason is my husband. Kasal ako sa kanya”  Sigaw ko sa kanya.

“Sa batas, oo. Pero gusto kong ipaalala sa’yo na sa akin ka unang ikinasal. We made a vow before God.”  He said before kissing me on the forehead, and then the tip of my nose.  “You don’t love him, Andi. Ako ang mahal mo.”

“No…”  I said in a small, shaky voice.  

He pressed his lips to mine.  “I love you, Andi…” He murmured against my lips.  “Alam kong mahal mo pa rin ako. Please, say you love me too. I need to hear it from you.”

I shook my head, keeping my lips tightly closed as he kiss me. No, I won’t give him the satisfaction that he wants. I felt both his hands cup my bare breasts. He palmed and squeezed it. I fought really hard to keep my body from responding to his touch. But when he pinched my nipples, I totally lost it. I let out a moan and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I once again, felt him rubbing his hardness against me. Oh God, I wanted him inside me so bad. I wanted him to fill me up so bad, stretch me. I wanted to feel his hot cum inside me again. Just imagining that made me even more wet.

He broked away from the kiss and looked into my eyes.  “Sabihin mong mahal mo ako.”

I shook my head again. Hate, yun ang dapat na maramdaman ko sa kanya. I don’t want to end up falling in love with him again. That would be really stupid. I’ve learned already the hard way.

He lowered his head again to my breast. I felt his warm mouth around my hard nipple sucking it hard. I panted and cried his name. I wrapped my legs around him tighter, pressing him against me harder. I moved my hips up and down his hardness and I heared him groan against my breast. I wanted to protest and pull his head back to my chest when he stopped.

“Please, say it. Mahal, please say you love me.” He begged, he sounded as if his life depended on it.  I froze for a few seconds.  “Say it…”  His fingers pinched my nipple.

“No…”  Pabulong na sabi ko. I will never say what he wants to hear. He pinched it even harder and I let out a loud groan. I covered my breasts with my arms.  “Stop it!”  

“I- I don’t love you anymore. Kahit anong gawin mo hindi na kita mamahalin. Si Jason na ang mahal ko.”  I looked at him with hate in my eyes.   “

Don’t mistake this as love. This… this is just lust. No matter how many times we fuck, I will never love you again.“  Why does it hurt to say that? 

His eyes were clouded with sadness and I just have to look away because it hurts. I didn’t want to him to see na nasasaktan din ako. I’m not supposed to feel this way. Hindi dapat ako masaktan.

He rolled off me and layed down beside me. Hindi siya nagsalita, he was just staring at the ceiling. He actually looked hurt. There was a long silence between us.

“Umalis ka na.”  I broked the silence. 

“Wala ka na ba talagang nararamdaman kahit konti para sa akin?”  Puno ng lungkot ang boses niya. I almost couldn’t take it. The pain in his voice kills me inside. 

“Wala na.”  I tried to sound matter of factly, as if it wasn’t affecting me. I had to close my eyes really tight para hindi tumulo ang mga luha sa mata ko.

“Masaya ka ba sa kanya?”  Tanong niya.

“Yes.” I answered almost in a whisper.

“Kung masaya ka talaga sa kanya, pipilitin ko rin na maging masaya para sa’yo. Kahit na masakit. Hindi na kita guguluhin pakatapos nito.” Sabi niya. My heart felt like it dropped in my stomach when he said those words. He turned his head to look at me. Hindi ko pa rin siya magawang tignan.  “Pero pagbigyan mo sana ako, gusto kong makasama ka ng isang buong araw.

Kalimutan mo muna natin na may asawa ka. Kalimutan natin ang nakaraan kahit ngayon lang. Just one day with you. That’s all I ask.“ 

Pumayag ako sa gusto niya. I wanted to forget everything even just for a day. I didn’t want anything to matter kahit ngayong araw lang. Just him and me. No past memories or anything.

Pinuntahan niya ako sa room ko pagkatapos kong mag-ayos. I found out his room was actually right next to mine.

“Ready?” Tanong niya sa akin when I opened the door.

I nodded my head. He took my hand in his and we began to walk out of the hotel. I missed this. I missed holding hands with him while we walk. I missed the warmth of his palm against mine. It brought me back to the old days when everything was simple. Back when I was happy and so madly in love with him before I knew the person he really was. But now everything’s changed.

Sa itsura pa lang niya marami nang nagbago. He used to always wear ripped jeans and a simple white shirt. Now he wears expensive designer jeans, buttoned shirts and shoes worth so many hundreds. He left me for all these. He left me so he can live the life he wanted. Hindi siya nakuntento sa akin and what we had. I tried to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest. Ayoko munang isipin ang nakaraan. I don’t want to ruin the moment.

Nahuli niya akong nakatingin sa kanya and he smiled at me. “Okay ka lang, mahal?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Sagot ko.

“I can’t believe this is happening.”  Nakangiting sabi niya. He looked at me and his eyes softened.  “I never thought this would happen again. I never thought I’d have this moment with you. Thank you, Andi.”

Inangat niya ang kamay ko na hawak niya and he kissed the back of my hand. He didn’t take me to a fancy restaurant. Instead, he took me to one of those food stalls na nakahilera. There were chairs and tables set out on the pavement. Parang yung mga kinainan namin dati ni Tristan kapag tapos namin magsimba or gusto lang namin kumain sa labas. It brought back such bittersweet nostalgia.

He ordered our food and drinks. Iba nga lang ang mga street foods but it still tasted good.

“Naisipan kong dito ka dalhin kasi alam kong gustong-gusto mo kumakain sa mga ganito.”  He said while we were eating. Honestly, mas natutuwa pa nga akong dito niya ako dinala kaysa sa mga fancy restaurants.  “Nagustuhan mo ba?”

“Of course! This is so good.”  I said while chewing. He just laughed. And then he took something out of his backpack. A camera. He started taking shots of me. 

“Tristan!”  Saway ko sa kanya. I blocked the lense with my hand. Gosh! Hindi pa rin siya nagbabago. He used to always take stolen shots of me. Kahit bagong gising ako or even when I’m in my underwear.  I wonder if he still has those photos.

“Don’t tell me you’re still camera shy?”  He said, laughing. “C’mon, you’re a model.”  

Inirapan ko siya.  “Well… I don’t pose for free!”

 “Dati, you only pose for me.”  Sabi niya. He was still smiling but his voice and his eyes were sad.  “You were mine alone.”

“Things are different now.”  Mahinang sabi ko.

“I know.”  He let out a forced chuckle. 

“Are you dating someone?”  Tanong ko sa kanya. I just want to know. Bakit meron pala siyang girlfriend na hindi ko alam. I thought Cassie was his girlfriend or his casual fuck buddy.

“No, I’m single.” 

“No, um… casual hookup?” 

Umiling siya. 

“What about that blonde girl you slept with?”  Tumaas ang kilay ko. It still pisses me off kapag naaalala ko iyon. I wanted to know kung may contact pa rin siya sa babaeng iyon.

“Wala yun. It was just a one night stand.”  He answered.  “And we didn’t even have full blown sex. She just gave me head.”

I covered my ears.  “Ew, ew, ew! I don’t want to hear that.”

Tumawa siya ng malakas with his head thrown back. 

“It’s  not funny!”  Nakasimangot na sabi ko.

“Nagtanong ka, sinagot lang kita.”  He said smiling like an idiot.  “You gave me head once. No, twice.”

“It was only once. And I was drugged pa!”   I can feel my cheeks burning in embarrasment. But I tried na itago iyon.

“The first time you gave me head was the night your mom caught us in your room, remember?”  He grinned. I could feel my face turning even more red. 

“No, I don’t remember!”  I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed even louder.

“Why don’t you ask your mom. Baka natatandaan pa niya.”  He was still grinning, the horribly annoying kind of grin. If there’s one thing na hindi nagbago sa kanya iyon ang pagiging alaskador niya.

“Isa pa, Tristan! I swear to God, aalis na ako!”  Inis na sabi ko.  

“Okay, okay… I’ll stop. Pikon ka pa rin pala.”  He chuckled, his laugh dying down. Maya-maya ay nawala ang ngiti niya sa labi.

“I heard you dated alot of guys? Mga hollywood stars.”  Nagsalita siya ulit.

“Yes, I did.” Sagot ko.

“Why?”  He asked.

“Why what?” Tanong ko.

“Why do you date other men if you really are happy with your husband? Why do you have sex with me? Wala ba siyang pakialam?”  He asked exasperated.

“Hindi mo naiintindihan ang relasyon namin.”  I said calmly but firmly.  “Palagi siyang wala sa tabi ko. Palagi kaming magkalayo at alam niya ang pagkukulang niya. He knows I have needs.”

“He’s an idiot. He doesn’t know how to keep his woman happy.”  Naiiling na sabi niya.

  “Well, at least he never left me.”  I didn’t even bother to try to hide the bitterness in my voice.

Nagbaba siya ng tingin.  “I didn’t want to do leave you, I had to.” 

I shrugged.  “Let’s not talking about it. Hindi ba sabi mo kalilimutan muna natin iyon?”

He just nodded his head. I don’t want to hear any bullshit lies from him. Hindi ako pumayag na sumama sa kanya para lang marinig ang mga kasinungalingan niya. I just wanted to be with him and forget everything. 

Tristan’s POV

We’re sitting on the grass in the park. Pagkatapos namin mamasyal we decided to go here. Andi was sitting in between my legs with her back leaning against my chest. The sun was already starting to set. Everything’s just so perfect. How I wish we could just stay this way forever but like every good thing in life. It has to end. Naramdaman kong nag-iinit ang sulok ng mga mata ko sa pagpigil ng mga luha. This is all I want, to be with her just one more time and I will let her go.

Masaya na akong nasilayan ko yung dating Andi na minahal ko. I got to see her smile– her warm genuine smile. I got to hear her adorable laugh. I got to see her eyes light up with happiness. Ayoko pang matapos ang araw na ito. I would give anything to stop time right now.

Hinalikan ko ang buhok niya.  “I love you.”  I whispered to her. I’ll always will. That will never change. I know I will never be completely over her. I will always wonder what might had happened kung hindi ko siya pinakawalan noon. Kung humingi ako ng tulong kay Jaime. Siguro masaya kami ngayon. Siguro may mga anak na kami. Isang lalaki at isang babae. Because that’s what she had always wanted. She will always be my  what if .

“Tristan…”  Narinig kong sabi niya.

“Mm?” 

“Stop saying you love me. I don’t want to hear it.”  Sabi niya. I felt a new hurt. It was like a fist had closed around my heart squeezing it.

We we decided to go back to the hotel. Pareho kaming tahimik habang nakasakay sa cab pabalik sa hotel. Every minute, every second… it fel like she was slipping away from me like water through cupped hands. Paano kaya kung hindi ko na siya ibalik? Paano kung pahintuin ko itong taxi at kidnapin ko na lang siya? Kung anu-anong pumapasok sa utak ko. I just don’t want to let her go yet.

The cab stopped in front of the hotel. I guess this is goodbye. Mabigat ang paang bumaba ako sa sasakyan. Hinatid ko siya hanggang sa kwarto niya.

“Goodnight.”  Pinilit kong ngumiti. Nasa labas ako ng pinto niya. She didn’t say anything, tinitigan niya lang ako. After a few seconds of silence I decided to leave. 

“Tristan…”  Napahinto ako sa paghakbang ng marinig ko ang boses niya.  “Ako naman ang pagbigyan mo. Stay with me tonight.”

Humarap ako sa kanya. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me inside the room. Hinalikan niya ako. It was a rough hungry kiss, I kissed her back with the same intensity. Bumaba ang kamay niya sa butones ng shirt ko at isa-isa iyong tinanggal.

Bumaba ang halik niya sa leeg ko. She sucked on my neck and bit it softly. She probably even left hickeys all over my neck but I don’t really mind. My hands started to roam all over her body. Her sweet hot lips left my neck and she sucked on my nipple, gently nibbling it. She moved to the other one and did the same. Damn! She hasn’t even touched my dick and I feel like I’m already on the verge of orgasm. Lumuhod siya sa harap ko na ikinagulat ko. 

“Mahal ko…”  Paos ang tinig na sabi ko. She looked up at me and gave me a naughty smile. 

“I can do it better than her. I could make you feel so good.”  Sabi niya bago tinanggal ang butones ng suot kong pantalon. She pulled my pants down with my boxer. Her eyes widened as she stared at my dick. She took it in her hand and began to stroke it.

“Ahh… Andi…”  Napahawak ako sa balikat niya at napapikit. And then I felt her hot little mouth around my dick. She started sucking the head while stroking my shaft. This is fucking heaven. Ibinaba ko ang strap ng dress niya pati ng bra niya. I massaged her breast eagerly. She moaned, her lips vibrating against my dick. Napasinghap ako sa sarap ng sensasyon  na iyon. I began rolling her nipple between my thumb and forefinger and she moaned even more.

We just started and I’m already so close. She stroked it even faster and sucked it even harder. Then she slowly slid it in her mouth. Inch by inch. I moaned loudly when I felt her mouth around my shaft. It’s so warm, soft and wet. It felt so good. Her head moved back and forth, taking as much of my length as she could. I felt my dick hit the back of her throat and she gagged a little.

“A-andi, you don’t have to force yourself.”  Paos ang tinig na sabi ko. I attempt to pull away but she wouldn’t let me. She grabbed my ass and pulled me farther into her. Shit! I don’t think I will be able to hold it any longer. I squeezed her breast a little tighter.

“I’m going to come, Andi… God, I’m coming.” I groaned and I released myself in her mouth. My come spilled out of her mouth and ran down her chin. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. I could feel my shaft getting hard again.

She pulled my dick out of my mouth. Napaluhod ako sa tabi niya. I took off my shirt and used it to wipe my come from her face.

“You didn’t have to do that.”  Sabi ko habang pinupunasan siya.

“But you did like it?”  She asked with a faint smile.

“Yes, that was so good.”

“Pervert.”  She giggled.  “Now, you go down on me.”

I lifted her dress and pulled her panties down. Dumapa ako sa pagitan ng mga hita niya. I lowered my head to her pussy and started licking her. She was already wet, her come taste so good. I spread her pussy with my fingers and plunge my tongue into her hole. 

“Tristan…” She whimpered.

My tongue darted in and out of her until she bucked and grab onto my shoulders. It didn’t take long for her to reach her orgasm. 

Nahiga na kami sa kama pagkatapos nun. Pareho kaming napagod sa pamamasyal at nakatulog agad kami.

We’re on our way to the airport. Hindi na kami nag-usap ni Andi simula kaninang umaga. I quietly left her room and went back to mine. There was an awkward atmosphere around us. Kahit si Cassie at Phoenix ay hindi nagkikibuan. Phoenix looked like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Kanina pa mainit ang ulo niya kaya hindi ko siya magawang makausap.

Sumakay kami sa eroplano. Dapat si Andi ang katabi ko at si Phoenix at Cassie ang magkatabi ngunit nakipagpalit si Andi kay Phoenix. 

“Something wrong?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“I proposed to Cassie.”  He said before gulping down his glass of wine.

“And?” Kunot ang noong tanong ko.

“She fucking rejected my marriage proposal.”  Pigil ang galit na sabi nito.

“I’m sorry, dude.”  I said symphatetically.

He looked at me and gave me the ‘I don’t fucking need your pity’ look.  “Kaya ko lang naman gustong pakasalan siya dahil ayokong maging bastardo ang magiging anak namin.”

Lumapag ang eroplanong sinasakyan namin sa Manila. Naghihiwalay na kami nang makalabas kami sa airport. Nakita kong sinalubong ni Jason si Andi. They hugged each other. I wanted to look away because it hurts to see her in the arms of another man but I couldn’t. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko habang pinanonood ko sila. Andi cupped Jason’s face and kissed him on the lips. Pagkatapos ay tumingin siya sa akin. Pinilit ko ang sarili kong ngumiti nang mapatingin siya sa akin bago nagbaba nang tingin at tumalikod na.

Chapter Forty Three

If there’s anything that makes me feel better it’s children. I love children. I love being around them and playing with them. I love just about anything that has to do with children. I used to volunteer at an orphanage in California, it’s really depressing to see all those beautiful kids who had been abandoned by their parents. Everytime I look at all those children I see my baby in them. And just by spending some time with the children pakiramdam ko parang nakasama ko na din ang anak ko.   It helped me cope with losing my baby at nakakatulong pa ako sa mga bata.

“Mga bata, ito si ate Andi ninyo.”  Pakilala sa akin ni sister Cecilia. Siya ang namamahala ng bahay ampunan na ito. Dinala niya ako dito sa art room kung saan abalang-abala ang mga bata sa pagdrawing. They all look so adorable. Nakakalungkot na may mga magulang na kayang iwanan ang mga anak nila. Naalala ko na may mga tao din na kayang pumatay nang mga bata, katulad ni Olivia at Harold. Those are the worst kinds of people. A poor excuse for a human being.

Awtomatikong nagsi-tayuan ang mga ito.  “Magandang umaga, ate Andi.”

I couldn’t help but smile at their cuteness. 

“Siya ang makakasama natin ngayon araw kaya behave dapat kayo, ok?” 

“Yes, sister.”  Sagot nila.

“May regalo nga pala ako sa inyo.”  Sabi ko. Their eyes lit up with excitement. A week ago, nagpunta ako dito sa orphanage na ito para paghandaan ang pagbisita ko dito. I asked sister Cecilia to ask the children what presents they wanted. Binigay niya sa akin ang listahan ng mga gusto nilang matanggap na regalo at binili ko ang lahat nang iyon para sa mga bata.  “Gusto niyo na bang matanggap ang regalo niyo?”

“Ooopooo!”  Sabay-sabay na sabi ng mga bata. 

Binubuksan pa lang namin ang box kung saan nandun ang mga regalo nila ay kitang-kita na ang tuwa sa mga mukha nila. The room got quiet as I took the first gift out of the box. It seemed like everyone was holding their breath. It was wrapped in pink paper. Binasa ko ang pangalan na nakalasulat doon.  “Sino si Maggie?”

“Ako! Ako po!”  A little girl, raising both her hands and waving them, squealed. Tumakbo siya sa akin and I handed the gift to her.

“Thank you po, ate Andi!”  She hugged me. 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”  I said as I hug her back.

Kumuha ulit ako ng isa pang regalo sa box.  “Ito naman para kay Paulo.”

Lumapit ang isang  batang lalaki sa akin at kinuha ang regalo niya. Katulad ni Maggie, he thanked and hugged me. Isa-isa kong inabot sa kanila ang mga regalo. It was so fun to see the excitement and happiness on their faces as they unwrap their presents.

Nakita ko ang isang batang yakap-yakap ang teddy bear na regalo ko sa kanya. Natuwa ako at nilapitan ko siya.

“Hi, baby. Ano’ng pangalan mo?”  Tanong ko.

“Isabelle po.”  Nahihiyang sabi niya. Umupo ako sa tabi niya at pinalapit ko siya sa akin. I sat her on my lap.

“Isabelle, ang ganda naman ng pangalan mo. Bagay sa’yo. Ilang taon ka na?”  I asked as I tuck a piece of her behind her ears.

She looked at her hand and she showed it to me with three fingers raised. 

“Three years old ka na?”  Nakangiting sabi ko.

She shook her head.  “Four na po ako.”

“But that’s only three.”  Natatawang sabi ko. Kids are just so adorable. Itinaas ko pa ang isang daliri niya.  “Ayan four na.”

She looked at her hand again. and counted her fingers  “One, two, three… FOUR!”

“Wow, marunong ka na pala magbilang.” Sabi ko.

“Tinuruan po ako ni kuya pero hanggang ten pa lang ang alam ko.”  Sabi niya habang nilalaro ang teddy bear niya.

“Don’t worry. You’ll learn how to count up to one hundred. Do you want me to teach you?”  I slightly pinched her cherub cheek. I couldn’t help but wonder what would it be like to hold my own child. Ang anak namin ni Tristan. Everytime I hold another child, palaging iyon ang pumapasok sa isip ko. 

I sighed. I’ve thought of adopting a kid but I still want to have one of my own. With Tristan. I want it to be his. Ours. I feel like he owes me a baby because I blame him for what happened to our first child. I want it to be a part of him like my little angel. Of course, it wouldn’t replace the one I lost even if I were to conceive another. Kahit ilan ang maging anak ko siya pa rin ang panganay ko. 

I started taking the pill because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to get pregnant. I would probably go crazy kapag nawalan ulit ako ng anak. I almost did when I lost my little angel. I’m torn between wanting a baby and the fear of what would happen. Kung magkaka-miscarriage ako o kung ano man ang mangyari kung magbubuntis ulit ako I don’t think I will be able to take it. 

Well, now hindi ko na dapat isipin iyond dahil wala na siya sa buhay ko. He is out of my life! I suddenly felt a hole in my heart. There it is again. I hate that feeling. I need to stop thinking about him. I’ve been trying to not think about him at all. Hindi siya kawalan. I don’t need him… or his sperm. I could have a baby with another guy. Silly me, what was I thinking. It doesn’t have to be Tristan’s. 

Inaya ko ang mga bata na maglaro sa garden. Naglaro kami ng langit-lupa. This is also why I love being with kids, I get to be a kid myself. I feel carefree, weightless, without a care in the world.

“Ate Andi, taya ka na!”  Agnes giggled when she finally got me.  They all ran in different directions.

“Nandyan na si kuya Tristan!”  Sigaw ni Paulo. Biglang huminto ang mga bata sa pagtakbo. I froze when I heard his name. It couldn’t be him. Hindi lang naman siya ang may pangalang Tristan sa Pilipinas. There was a part of me that was hoping it was really  him. I turned around to look and my heart started beating really fast when I saw Tristan.

Si Phoenix ang nagrecommend sa akin ng orphanage na ito. I’m sure he has something to do with this. He definitely knew Tristan was going to be here too. Maybe they even planned this.

“Kuuuuyaaaaaa!”  All the kids ran up to him and hugged him. 

“Kumusta na kayo?”  Ginulo niya ang buhok ng isang batang lalaki. 

“Binigyan kami ng regalo ni ate Andi.”  Sabi ni Isabelle na karga-karga ni Tristan.

“Talaga? Nagustuhan niyo ba?”  Tanong niya.

“Opo, ang ganda nga po.”  Sagot ng bata.

“Ate Andi, halika papakilala kita sa kuya namin.”  Kinuha ni Ron ang kamay ko at hinatak ako palapit kay Tristan. 

“Ate Andi, ito nga po pala ang kuya Tristan namin.”  Sabi ni Ron. He looked at me but he quickly looked away. Itinuon niya ang atensyon niya sa mga bata.

“Nagpasalamat ba kayo sa kanya?”  Tanong niya sa mga bata. Sabay-sabay silang sumagot ng opo.

“Kuya Tristan, ang ganda po ni ate Andi ano? Parang yung prinsesang kinukwento mo samin.”  Sabi ni Maggie.

Bahagyang natawa si Tristan at tumingin ulit sa akin. We stared awkwardly at each other for a few seconds before I looked away.  “Oo nga, ’no

“

“Kuya, ituloy mo na yung kwento mo! Pleeeeeease!”  Sabi ni Charmaine.

“Oo nga po, kuya! Ano’ng nangyari sa prinsesa at sa prinsipe?”  Sabi naman ni Lenlen.

“Mamaya na, pinapapasok na kayo ni sister. Kakain na daw.

“

 

“Pero kuya, magkukuwento ka ah.”  Sabi ni Lenlen.

“Oo pagkatapos niyo kumain.”  Sagot niya. The kids all seem to love and adore him.

Dala ko ang isang tray na may laman na mga sopas. Isa-isa ko itong binigay sa mga bata sa mga table nila. Hindi ko maiwasang mapatingin kay Tristan, he was doing the same thing as me. Binibigyan niya ng pagkain ang mga bata. He was laughing and fooling around with the kids. Halatang komportable na sa kanya ang mga bata.

Bumalik ako sa kitchen para kumuha pa ng sopas. Nilagay ko isa-isa ang mga bowl sa tray. I stiffened when I saw Tristan walk inside the kitchen door. He just walked past me without looking in my direction. It’s like he doesn’t see me, it’s as if I was invisible. He’s completely ignoring me! And It hurts.

But isn’t this what I wanted?

I picked up the tray and hurriedly left the kitchen. I couldn’t stand us ignoring each other’s presence. But it looks like he’s perfectly fine with it. It seems like it doesn’t bother him a bit and that pisses me off. How can that son of a bitch be so unaffected while I’m so frustrated and bothered?

“Hindi ka ba kakain, hija?”  Lumapit sa akin si sister Cecilia. I sat in the corner pagkatapos ko magbigay ng pagkain sa mga bata. I was watching them eat.

“I’m not hungry po.”  Sagot ko. Napatingin ako kay Tristan. He was busy feeding the children. It’s cute how he’s so caring and good with kids.  “Sister, madalas bang nagpupunta dito si Tristan?”

“Palagi yan bumibisita dito. Parang pamilya na nga ang trato niya sa mga bata kaya mahal na mahal siya ng mga yan.”  Nakangiting sagot niya. “Alam mo, kung hindi ipinatayo ni Tristan itong bahay-ampunan malamang nasa kalye pa rin sila.”  

“Siya ang nagpatayo nito?”  I asked surprised. 

“Oo, nanggaling lahat sa kanya ang perang ginamit sa pagpapatayo nito.”  Sagot ni sister Cecilia. 

Well, at least may magandang napuntahan ang perang nakuha niya from whoring himself to rich women. That’s the only good thing about it. 

After eating, the children went outside to play. The kids pulled me outside at inaaya nila akong maglaro ulit.

“O, huwag muna kayong magtakbuhan, kakakain niyo lang.”  Tristan reminded the kids.

“Kuya Tristan, magkwento ka na lang.”  Sabi ng mga bata.

“O sige, magkukuwento na ako.”  Sabi niya, umupo siya sa sahig. The children sat around him waiting for him to tell a story.

“Ate Andi, halika magkukuwento na si kuya Tristan.” Isabelle took my hand at hinatak niya ako. We sat on the ground right in front of Tristan and she sat on my lap.  Our eyes locked for a moment, I got uncomfortable and looked down and started playing with Belle’s hair.

“Nasaan na ba tayo?”  Nag-iisip na tanong ni Tristan.

“Yung ibinalik ng prinsipe ang prinsesa sa palasyo niya.”  Sabi ni Lenlen.

“Yun na nga, binalik ng prinsipe ang prinsesa sa palasyo niya dahil alam niyang mas ligtas ang prinsesa doon. Hindi siya maabot doon ng dragon na gustong kumuha sa kanya dahil napakataas ng palasyong iyon.”  Sabi ni Tristan. Tutok na tutok sa pakikinig ang mga bata. “Iniwan niya ang prinsesa at naglakbay siya sa malayong malayong lugar para hanapin ang dragon. Napakadilim ng pinuntahan niyang lugar at nagsisimula nang matakot na ang prinsipe pero sa tuwing iniisip niya ang kanyang prinsesa nawawala ang takot niya at lumalakas lalo ang loob niya. Kailangan niyang mahanap ang dragon at mapatay iyon para masiguro ang kaligtasan ng prinsesa niya.”

  

“Galit na galit ang dragon ng makaharap niya ito.  Mabilis na hinugot ng prinsipe ang espada niya at nakipaglaban siya. Pero dahil mas malakas at malaki ang dragon natalo ang prinsipe. Namatay siya?” 

“Ano?! Namatay ang prinsipe?”  Sabi ni Belle. She sounded so upset.

“Oo, pero hindi pa tapos yun! May nakakakita sa prinsipe, isang lalaking may kapangyarihan na manggamot. Kinuha niya ang walang buhay na katawan ng prinsipe at ginamot nito ang mga sugat na natamo niya sa pakikipaglaban. Ilang araw at buwan ang lumipas bago tuluyang gumaling at nagising ang prinsipe. Pinilit niyang mabuhay dahil kailangan niya pang bumalik sa prinsesa niya. Dahil mahal na mahal niya ang prinsesa niya at ayaw niyang maiwan itong nag-iisa.”

“Nang magising ang prinsipe ang unang hinanap niya ay ang prinsesa niya. Bumalik siya sa palasyo kung saan niya iniwan ang prinsesa niya ngunit nalaman niyang wala na ito doon. Umalis ang prinsesa niya at pumunta na sa malayong malayong kaharian.”

There was a long pause and the children waited for him to say something.

“Edi sinundan niya ang prinsesa niya sa malayong lugar?”  Hindi na nakatiis si Ron.

Umiling si Tristan.  “Hindi niya na sinundan ang prinsesa niya dahil nalaman niyang nagpakasal na ang prinsesa niya sa ibang prinsipe.”

 It hit me that the story he was telling was about us. That’s why it sounded so familiar. It was a story about us laced with bullshit! He wouldn’t tell the kids what really happened. That the prince left the princess because he decided she wasn’t good enough for him. Well like they say, no one is a villain in their own mind.

“Ha? Bakit ganun? Hindi na ba mahal ng prinsesa ang prinsipe niya?”  Malungkot na sabi ni Agnes. 

“Hindi ko alam.”  Mahinang sagot ni Tristan.  “Pero hindi na mahalaga iyon, ang mahalaga sa prinsipe masaya ang prinsesa niya. Iyon lang naman ang gusto niya, ang makitang masaya ang prinsesa. Masaya na rin ang prinsipe kahit hindi sila nagkatuluyan ng prinsesa dahil nakasama niya at naging bahagi ng buhay niya ito. Hindi lahat ng tao nabibigyan ng pagkakataon na katulad nun.”

“The prince was an ass.”  I didn’t even realize those words slipped out of my mouth until Tristan looked at me. Nasabi ko na, paninindigan ko na. There’s no turning back.  “Sarili niya lang ang iniisip niya. Wala siyang pakialam sa nararamdaman ng prinsesa. He just left her! What if the princess wanted to fight the dragon with him? Hindi niya ba naisip yun? He never thought about it, did he? Dahil naisip niyang pabigat lang ang prinsesa sa kanya that’s why he left her!”

“Hindi totoo yan.”  Sabi niya.  “The prince loves the princess so much. Ayaw niyang malagay sa panganib ang buhay ng prinsesa. He did it for the princess”

“No, he did it for himself! Paanong nakakasiguro ang prinsipe na hindi malalagay sa panganib ang buhay ng prinsesa habang nasa palasyo siya. The princess could’ve died of sadness. Or someone could’ve climbed up the castle and kill her. The princess isn’t going to wait for him forever, she had to save herself. She had to save whatever was left of her.”

“I’m sorry.”  He said. I’ve heard him say it a hundred times! Kahit ilang sorry pa ang sabihin niya I won’t forgive him. His sorry won’t change the past!  

“You should be because it was a really stupid story! I’m so glad princess married another prince and didn’t end up with that stupid prince.”  

“Galit ka po ba, ate Andi?”  Tanong ni Belle.

I had to force myself to smile and calm down.  “No, sweety. Hindi ako galit.”

“Kung may prinsipe na ang prinsesa dapat humanap na din ng ibang prinsesa ang prinsipe para hindi na nalulungkot ang prinsipe. Para masaya na ang lahat.”  Charmaine said innocently.  

Tristan smiled faintly.  “Siguro nga tama ka. Kailangan niya na nga sigurong humanap ng ibang prinsesa. Kailangan niya na tumigil sa kaaasang babalik pa sa kanya ang prinsesa niya.”

He left without saying a word after that. He didn’t even say goodbye to the kids. Hinanap nila ang kuya Tristan nila but he already left. What if he does find anothe girl? Psh. What do I care? He can do whatever the fuck he wants. That’s what I’m telling myself but I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt, I can’t pretend I don’t care. Just thinking about him finding another girl kills me.

“Giiiiiiiiirl!”  Aiko screamed and ran to me with her arms wide open. “I missed you!” She gave me a hug. 

“I missed you too.”  I hugged her back. She just called me last night to tell me to pick her up at the airport. She was sent here to model for a famous local clothing line. 

“We have alot of catching up to do! And you have to take me to the hottest club here in Manila.”  She exclaimed excitedly. Of course! Clubs are her home. She lives and breathes party. 

“I will. But, girl, you have to get some rest. You’re probably jet lagged.”  I said.

“Yeah, you’re right. I have to get my beauty sleep. May photoshoot pa ako tomorrow.”  Sabi niya. We put her luggage in the trunk of my car. I got in the driver’s sit and Aiko hopped into the passenger’s.

“May dadaanan lang ako. Okay lang ba sa’yo?”  I asked her while driving. I looked at my wrist watch. Phoenix texted me this morning to meet up with him at the boutique. Kung ihahatid ko pa si Aiko, I will never make it on time.

“Sure, saan ba tayo pupunta?”  She asked.

“I just need to get my measurement taken. Ikakasal na kasi si Phoenix at kinuha nila akong matron of honor.”  I answered.

She let out an exaggerated gasp.  “Phoenix? Phoenix Cordova? Your cousin? No way!”

“Yes way.”  I was so surprised too when he told me he was going to get married.

“Really? Sayang naman. Ikakasal na pala siya.”  She pouted like a disappointed child.  “ I was so excited to meet him pa nama because I’ve heard alot of good things about him. A girl he slept with told me he had a big cock and that he’s a monster in b-.“ 

“Ew, Aiko! Stop it. That’s disgusting. He’s my cousin!”  I said trying to suppressing a chuckle.

“Do you know any hot single guys who I can have fun with?” 

“Don’t tell me you broke up with the band guy.” 

“I did. I got tired of him. All he talks about is music. And the sex was bad, I do all the work. I must have sucked him a hundred times but he never went down on me, ever.” 

“TMI, Aiko. Too much info.”  I said with a laugh. She’s very open and blunt about her sex life. But we’ve been friends for years and I’m pretty used to it.

“So do you know any hot single guys who are good in bed?”  She grinned.

“Well, I know a few hot guys but I don’t know if they’re good in bed.” Sagot ko. Phoenix’s group of friends are hot as fuck.

“Introduce them to me and I’ll find out.”  She giggled.

I parked my car in front of the boutique. Bumaba kami ng sasakyan at pumasok sa loob. We were greeted by the assistant. I saw Phoenix seating on a single seater sofa and reading a magazine.

“Hi Phoenix.”  I said with a smile. He lifted his head up from the magazine and smiled. He got up at lumapit sa amin. He gave me a quick hug. I looked around the room and noticed Cassie wasn’t here. “Where’s Cassie?”

“She’s still inside. Sinusukatan pa.” S agot niya.

“Oh my god. He’s so hot.”  Aiko whispered to me through her teeth.

“Oh by the way, this is my friend, Aiko.”  I introduced her to him.

“Hi Aiko, nice to meet you.”  He said with a smile. 

“Nice to meet you, too.”  Aiko replied. 

We sat all sat on the couch and talked. Cassie stubbornly wants a black wedding dress. I know modern na ngayon at kung anu-anong kulay na ang sinusuot ng mga bride. But black is just too much for a wedding dress. I tried to convince Phoenix na pilitin si Cassie na ibahin ang kulay ng wedding dress niya pero ayaw niya. He said he doesn’t want to ruin Cassie’s dream wedding.

“Na late ba ako?”  Napalingon ako ng marinig ko ang boses ni Tristan. 

“No, you’re just in time.”  Phoenix answered.

“Oh my god! Ang hot din niya. Is he single?”  Bulong ni Aiko sa akin.

I was tempted to say that he isn’t so that she wouldn’t make a move on him. 

“Is he?”  She repeated.

“I… I don’t know.”  I finally answered.

“Hindi mo ba siya kilala?”  Tanong ni Aiko. Oh I know him and I know every inch of his body.

“I know him but we’re not close or anything. We’re just acquaintances.”  I said, hoping she’d stop asking about him. And she did but she started talking to him.

“Hi!”  Sabi ni Aiko when Tristan sa beside her.

“Um, hey.”  Sabi ni Tristan.

“I’m Aiko.”  She said holding her hand out to him.

He smiled and took it. Gusto kong paghiwalayin ang mga kamay nila. 

“Tristan.”  He said with a warm smile. I hate how he smiles at her and how he looks at her. And I hate that he doesn’t even look at me when I’m sitting beside Aiko.

Lumabas si Cassie mula sa isang kwarto. She sat down next to Phoenix. I said hi to her but she ignored me. She sat next to Phoenix. Cassie was always warm kahit na sinusungitan ko siya dati but now she rarely smile or talk to me. Sabi ni Phoenix ganun din daw sa kanya si Cassie at baka naglilihi lang daw. Naiintindihan ko naman siya. It’s probably just hormones. Ganun din ako noong nagbubuntis ako. 

Ako na ang sumunod kay Cassie. Tinawag ako ng designer para sukatan. Kahit na nasa parehong kwarto si Cassie at Phoenix hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang mag-alala. I want to hear every bit of their conversation, I want to see what they’re doing. 

“Miss Andi.”  Tawag ng assistant sa akin.

Tumayo na ako at pumasok sa kwarto. The designer took my measurements and she showed me a few sketches of some of the dress styles. Nag-uusap pa rin sila paglabas ko.

“Come on, we need to go.”  Sabi ko kay Aiko.

“I’ll call you later.”  Tristan said. I’ve only been gone for about ten minutes and they already exchanged numbers? 

“I’ll be expecting that call later, Tristan.”  She said in a flirty voice with a giggle. I could feel myself getting annoyed.

Nagpaalam na ako kay Cassie at Phoenix at umalis na kami.  

“You gave him your number?”  I asked when we got in the car.

“Yeah, why?”

“You don’t know him, Aiko.”  I rolled my eyes at her.

“I know he’s single.” S he squealed.  “That’s why I gave him my number so we can get to know each other better.”

“There are alot more better guys than him out there.”  I said.

“I think I like him. He’s so handsome and nice and sweet and… he’s just perfect.”  She said smiling dreamily.

“Girl, you just met him. Lahat naman ng lalaki ganyan sa simula.”  I said irritated.

“Nuh-uh! Hind lahat ng lalaki handsome sa simula.”  She joked.

“My point is you don’t know anything about him other than he is single. What if he’s terrible in bed?”  Which he isn’t.  “Or what if he has a small dick?”  His dick is far from being small. “Or what if he’s a violent asshole who beats women?”  Definitely not.

“Gosh! You’re such a downer, Miranda!”  Inis na sabi niya.

“I’m just being realistic. Anyone can be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” 

“I still want to get to know him though. I’m going to find out if he’s terrible bed and if he has a small penis. And I don’t really mind being beaten in bed, I think I might even like it. He can be my Christian Grey anyday.”  She giggled. I know Aiko is my friend but right now I just want to  put her inside her luggage, drive her to the airport and send her back to Los Angeles.

Chapter Forty Four

Aiko wouldn’t shut up about Tristan since she met him. I hate to how she talks about him and everything they do. She kept telling me how much she likes him, how perfect and sexy he is and how she wanted to do him. I don’t want to hear it. What’s worse is I had to pretend it doesn’t affect me when it really does. I felt so fake listening and smiling while she gushes about how hot Tristan is when inside I just want to duct tape her mouth shut. Sa dami-rami ng babaeng pwedeng landiin ni Tristan. Why her? I feel like sinasadya niya ito!

“So he called me last night again. We talked for like three hours about everything. You know, he isn’t just a handsome face. He’s something more… “

  I tried my hard not to roll my eyes. Aiko kept babbling on and on while I pretend to listen. 

She paused when her phone rang and her face lit up with a smile. She scrambled through her bag searching for her phone. She took it out from her bag and looked at me with eyes open wide.  “Oh my god, it’s him… it’s him!”

“Tristan!”  She said squealing a bit when she answered the phone. I suddenly tensed and sat up straight and leaned forward. I want to hear what they’re going to talk about. “I’m with Miranda. We just finished shopping and now we’re eating at a restaurant… No! No, I’m totally free tonight…”  Oh my god! Tristan is going to ask her out and she’ll definitely say yes! Hindi ako mapakali sa upuan ko.   “YES! Tonight at 7 would be great!”  Kinikilig na tumingins sa akin si Aiko. I felt my shoulders slump. I took a deep breath, desperately trying to hide the turmoil I’m feeling.  Well… he moves on fast.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe this, Miranda! He just asked me out to dinner!”  Sabi niya pagkababa ng phone.

I forced myself to smile. I never knew it was so painful to smile until now. I felt queasy and I couldn’t speak. 

“Hey, are you ok?”  She asked with her brows furrowed.

I nodded my head.  “Yeah… yeah, napagod lang ako.”

“Let’s head back to my condo. I need you to help me pick a dress for tonight.”  She said excitedly. 

We went to her condo. She tried on some of her clothes and showed it to me. I was sitting on her bed while she was standing in front of a full-length mirror looking at herself.

“What do you think of this?”  She asked turning side to side.

“I think… I think we should just go to the club tonight.”  I said, playing with my hands.  “Hindi ba I promised you I’ll take you to the hottest club.”

“That can wait another time.”  She smiled at me in the mirror.  “Besides, I’m not in the mood to party tonight. I just want to have a nice dinner with Tristan.”

I swallowed what felt like a dagger down my throat. Wala na akong maisip na pwedeng gawin para mapigilan siya. It’s going to happen. They’ll meet for dinner and end up having sex! Oh god! No. I don’t even want to think about it.

“So, maganda ba?”   Tanong niya. She was wearing a black lace backless dress that ended mid-thigh. She looked reallt stunning. This is what Tristan would be seeing tonight. Thinking of him looking at her on that dress just doesn’t sit well with me.

“Yeah, but don’t you think it’s a bit too revealing for a first date.”  Sabi ko sa kanya. 

“Oh god! You are so manang talaga!” S he rolled her eyes, laughing.

“I just think he might get an impression that you…”  I chewed on my lower lip.

“That I what?”  She raised her brows, waiting.

“That you want to have sex with him.” 

She giggled.  “Really? Well then, he’s going to get the right impression. I really do want to have sex with him.”

“No! No, you don’t!”  I exclaimed.  “You have to be careful, Aiko! What if may STD siya!” 

“Oh, hun, I think he’s clean naman.”  She said.  “And we’ll use protection.”

“No, please don’t have sex with him!”  I knew it sounded like I was begging but I couldn’t help it. She looked at me with a weirded out look. I tried to think of something to say so I wouldn’t sound to obviously desperate.  “He… he might think you’re easy! Baka pagkatapos ng date niya hindi ka na niya tawagan kasi nakuha niya na ang gusto niya!”

She slowly nodded her head.  “You’re totally right.”

“Of course, I’m right!”  I said, letting out a sigh of relief. “Kapag inaya ka niya sa bahay niya, huwag kang papayag.”

“My god, Miranda! You’re starting to sound like my mother.”  Natatawang sabi niya. 

Tristan is going to pick her up kaya umalis na ako bago pa siya dumating. Ayokong magkita kami. That would be really awkward. Hindi ako mapalagay nang makauwi ako. I couldn’t stop thinking about them together.

Kanina pa ako paikot-ikot sa kwarto while Jason was busy in front of his laptop.  

“Hey, kanina ka pa hindi mapakali d’yan.”  Sabi ni Jason. Napahinto si Jason sa pag-type sa laptop niya.  “Is something bothering you?”

“Aiko is on a date with Tristan.”  Sabi ko.

He looked up at me and raised his eyebrow.  “And why does that bother you?”

“Because he’s a user! He’s just using Aiko!”  I exclaimed.

“Iyon lang ba talaga ang dahilan o dahil may nararamdama ka pa rin sa kanya?”  He asked in a flat tone.

“Wala na akong nararamdaman para kay Tristan. Nag-aalala lang ako para kay Aiko.”  I said. Jason opened his mouth to say something but the phone rang. I quickly picked it up. 

“Miranda!”  I heard Aiko’s voice on the other line of the phone.

“Aiko…”  I tried to put on a cheerful voice.  “So, how did the date go?”

“It was perfect!

 I had so much fun with him, Tristan is just so wonderful. 

 ’  She squealed.

“Oh good… did you… did you two…”  I couldn’t finish the sentence. I was choking on my own words.  

“Have sex?”  She chuckled a little. 

“Yes… did you?”  I asked. My heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest.

“No, he’s a real gentleman. He didn’t even try to get in my pants.”  Sabi niya. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag sa sagot niya.  “Iba siya, Miranda. I feel like he’s the one.”

“You just met him…”  I said quietly.  

“I know, pero mararamdaman mo naman iyon di ba? I’ve dated alot of men but I’ve never felt this way about any of them before.”  She said with a serious tone. I shut my eyes tight and tightened my grip on my phone. 

“Miranda?” 

I took a deep breath before answering.  “Yeah?”

“I said he asked me to be his date for your cousin’s wedding.”  Masayang sabi niya.

“Oh… um, Aiko, I need to go. Bye.”  I didn’t even wait for her to say anything. Ibinaba ko na ang phone. Ayoko ng marinig kung ano ang nararamdaman niya para kay Tristan, kung ano ang mga ginawa nila o kung ano ang pinagusapan nila. Hindi ko kaya.

It’s Cassie and Phoenix’s wedding day. Dinaanan ko kanina si Cassie bago ako pumunta dito sa simbahan. Nasunod ang gusto niyang black wedding dress and I thought she looked elegant on it. Pero mukhang hindi siya masaya. She was emotionless like she didn’t even care that this is her wedding day. I thought that was weird. I mean, what bride isn’t happy on her day?! Well, I wasn’t really happy on my wedding day but that was a different story. Iba ang sitwasyon namin sa kanila.

I saw Phoenix standing outside the church looking all tensed and nervous while waiting for his bride. Nilapitan ko siya para i-congratulate and he just gave me a faint smile. He didn’t look happy either. What is wrong with the two of them?

“Miranda!”  Napalingon ako ng marinig ko ang boses ni Aiko. She waved her hand. She had her other hand placed on Tristan’s arm while they were walking towards us. Seeing them together made me feel sick to my stomach. 

Jason automatically wrapped one arm on my waist and pulled me closer to him. 

“Hi, Jason!”  Bati ni Aiko.

“Hi.”  Pormal na sabi niya.

I glanced at Tristan and he was looking at me so I quickly looked away.  

“Wow, you look beautiful on that dress, Miranda.”  Sabi ni Aiko. 

“Oh my wife looks beautiful on everything, even in her underwear.”  Jason chuckled before giving me a peck on the cheek. I caught Tristan subtly clench his jaw from the corner of my eyes.   

“So naughty.”  Aiko giggled.

Natigilan ang lahat ng dumating na ang bridal car. We were soon lined up to walk down the aisle and I was paired with Tristan who was the best man. He was standing beside me looking straight ahead with a stoic expression on his face. Ni hindi niya ako tinignan. I don’t why but it annoyed me.

The music started playing and the groomsmen and bridesmaids began walking down the aisle. When it was finally our turn, he offered his arm to me and I took it awkwardly.

“Tigilan mo na si Aiko…”  Hindi ko napigilan sabihin sa kanya as we walk down the aisle.  “Stop using her to make me jealous. It’s not working.”

He coldly glanced at me without moving his head.  “I am not using her. I really like Aiko.”

I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. I took a deep breath to ease the pain in my chest but it didn’t work.  “Liar.”  I whispered softly, scared my voice would crack. Hindi niya ito pinansin. Dumaan kami sa harap ni Aiko who was smiling, waving and taking pictures of us. I tried to smile back at her.

We finally reached what felt like a mile long aisle and seperated. Cassie started walking down the aisle with a tall, young good-looking guy. The guy doesn’t look like her dad. He’s obviously too young to be her father. Tumingin ako kay Phoenix, he wasn’t smiling or anything. His face was stoic.

We all watched as Cassie of the aisle. They stopped in front of Phoenix. Kinuha agad ni Phoenix si Cassie mula sa lalaking katabi niya. Hindi ko man lang nakitang ngumiti si Cassie or si Phoenix. Baka parang nagluluksa silang dalawa. Is this a funeral or a wedding?

Everyone took their seats and the ceremony began. Pumunta kami sa reception pagkatapos ng kasal. We were assigned to sit at the same table as Tristan and Aiko. Why is Phoenix doing this to me? God, I want to kill him.

Jason pulled a chair for me and I sat down. Umupo si Jason sa tabi ko. Tristan was casually resting his arm behind Aiko’s chair while they were talking. Nakisali rin si Jason sa usapan nila.

“Aiko when are you going back to Los Angeles?”  Tanong ni Jason.

“I still don’t know. Nagsisimula pa lang akong mag-enjoy dito sa Pilipinas.” S he looked at Tristan with sparks in her eyes. 

“Pwede rin kitang bisitahin sa LA minsan.” S abi ni Tristan.

“Really?”  Her face brightened up with happiness. 

“Oo naman.”  Tristan answered with a smile. Aiko was smiling from ear to ear and she was looking at Tristan with twinkles in her eyes. Napapikit ako ng mariin. It’s so fucking hard to watch.

“Kayo? May plano pa ba kayong bumalik sa America?”  Tanong ni Aiko.

“We want to stay here for good. Gusto na namin bumuo ng pamilya at magka-baby, hindi ba, babe?”  Jason asked.

I nodded my head.  “Y-yeah.”

“Sabagay, three years na kayong kasal. It’s about time.” S abi ni Aiko. Napatingin ako kay Tristan, he was looking at me with an icy stare. I stared back at him with my head high. 

“Wala ka pa bang balak magpakasal?”  Jason asked.

“Who am I going to marry? I don’t even have a boyfriend.”  Aiko said with a laugh before turning her head to Tristan. Fuck! I hate it when she looks at him like that. Tristan looked back into her eyes and smiled, their faces were just inches from each other. Nagbaba ako ng tingin.

I couldn’t take it anymore so I excused myself. I feel like my heart is ripping into pieces and I just can’t stay anymore. Tumayo ako at naglakad palayo. I don’t even know where I was going to go. I just don’t want to see them.  Lumabas ako sa reception.

Habang naglalakad ako ay may humawak sa braso ko. Napalingon ako at nakita ko si Tristan.

“Bitawan mo ako!”  I tried to shake off his grip. Walang sab-sabing hinatak niya ako. He dragged me to the hallway. Binuksan niya ang isang pinto sa pinakadulo ng hallway, sa fire exit at pilit niya akong pinasok doon. He shut the door behind him.

He looked at me with desire burning intensely in his eyes.  “Andi…”

“Stay away from me.”  I started walking backwards. I didn’t want him to get too close to me. I was scared… I was scared because I knew I want him. I hit the wall behind me and he trapped me with his arms.

He bent down and kissed me on the lips. I tried to push him away but he was stronger than me. He suddenly turned me around so I was facing the wall. His hands cupped both my breast. He started fondling it and I could feel my nipples getting hard.

“W-what are you doing?”  I asked with a shaky voice. I could already feel his manhood starting to get hard on my back. I took a sharp breath when he pulled down my strapless dress to my stomach, revealing my breasts. He cupped my breast again and started playing with my nipples, pinching and pulling them while he rub himself against me. Fuck! This is so wrong. Someone might come in here and see us.

“Tristan, st-op!”  Pilit akong kumawala sa kanya. He pressed me harder against the wall. His other hand went down and lifted my dress up. His hands touched my sex and I could feel his fingers rubbing on my slit through my panties. 

“You’re so wet, Andi. Is it for me?”  He whispered in my ear.  Only for you.

“Oh my god, Tristan! Just let me go!”  I screamed. I know if I don’t stop him right now, hindi ko na siya mapipigilan sa gusto niyang mangyari. 

He pushed my panties aside and his fingers found my clit. I squirmed and a soft moan escaped my lips when he massage it.

“Do you still want me to stop?”  He asked in a hoarse voice, his fingers moving faster against my clit.

I just shook my head, unable to talk.

“Then tell me you want this.”  Sabi niya.  “Tell me, Andi. Tell me or I’ll stop.”

Huminto sa paggalaw ang daliri niya.

“Oh god, Tristan…”  I moaned while thrusting myself against his fingers, trying to find release but it wasn’t found.  “Tristan, I want you. Please, Tristan…”  I sobbed.

He stared massaging my clit again and I felt him push a finger inside me, slowly until it was all the way in. He added another one and began finger fucking me hard and his thumb was rubbing my clit. I was panting and moaning and crying out in ecstasy. I was so close. He kept moving his fingers in and out of me until I exploded. I came all over his fingers. He didn’t move his hand, he kept his fingers inside me as my orgasm subsided.

He finally pulled out his fingers and licked them clean. He unzipped his pants and pulled it down along with his boxers. I groaned when I felt him rub his dick against my slit. He pulled my panties down to my knees and positioned himself behind me. He slowly inserted himself inside me. He turned my head to face him and covered my lips with his, I opened my mouth for him and our tongues grind and swirl aganst each other. He started thrusting in and out of me, gently and slowly at first. His hands were busy playing with my breasts. He thrusted harder and faster and I was moaning in his mouth. Suddenly I felt his warm liquid shoot inside me, filling me up. He stopped kissing me and let out a loud groan. He didn’t move at first, he just stayed inside me. We were completely silent after that, just feeling our bodies together.

I felt him slide out of me and small streams of his cum ran down my thighs. I quickly pulled my panties up. I was so embarrased, I can’t believe we just did it in a public place. Inayos ko ang sarili ko at nagmamadaling lumabas. I went back to the reception and saw Jason sitting alone on the table.

Umupo ako sa tabi niya.

“Saan ka galing?”  He asked.

“Sa labas lang nagpahangin.”  I answered trying to sound casual.

He just nodded his head and took a sip of his whiskey. Maya-maya ay lumapit si Aiko sa amin.

“Girl, have you seen Tristan?”  Tanong niya sa akin.

“Uh… no, sorry.”  I suddenly felt a wave of guilt rushing over me. I know how in love she is with Tristan but I still let him fuck me. This is all so wrong.  

She looked around absently.  “Nasaan na kaya siya?”  Her face lit up when she saw him walking through the door.  “Oh there he is!” 

Lumapit sa amin si Tristan. 

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you. Bigla ka na lang nawala.”  Sabi ni Aiko.

“Nagpahangin lang.”  He said before glancing at me.

“Magkasabay ba kayo nagpahangin. Nakita ko kasi kayong dumaan sa fire exit.”  Sabi ni Jason.

I looked at Jason with eyes wide open in surprise. Nakita niya kami? My face flushed red in embarrassment.

“Nagkasabay kaming bumaba fire exit. Sira kasi yung elevator kaya doon kami dumaan.”  Dahilan ni Tristan.

“C’mon, Tristan, let’s dance!” A ya ni Aiko. Tristan looked at me one more time bago siya sumunod kay Aiko.

“Umuwi na tayo.”  Mahina pero mariin na sabi ni Jason. He got up and walked away, sumunod ako sa kanya. Sumakay kami ng elevator pababa sa parking lot.

“You saw us having sex?”  I asked him when we got in the car. I felt kind of nervous and embarrassed 

He shook his head.  “No but I heard everything you were doing with him.”

“Hindi mo ba siya kayang kalimutan?”  His voice sounded angry. My brows furrowed with confusion.

“Ano bang nangyayari sa’yo?”  Tanong ko.

He turned and looked at me.  “I think I’m in love with you Andi.”

I felt myself tensed. Hindi agad ako nakapagsalita. I didn’t what to say. Hindi ko alam na ganun na pala ang nararamdaman niya sa akin. I just don’t feel the same way about him.  “I… I’m sorry, Jason.”  I shook my head and he understood.

Chapter Forty Five

Hindi na kami madalas nag-uusap o nagkikita ni Aiko. She’s always busy with Tristan. I don’t know what’s the real score between them since I never bothered to ask but I do know they’ve been seeing each other a lot.  Naisipan kong bisitahin siya. I wanted to know what’s going on between the two of them. I hope it’s nothing serious.

I got in my car and went to her condo. I pressed the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door but no one did. So I turned the doorknob and I found out it wasn’t locked. Gosh! Napakaburara talaga ng babaeng iyon. She always forgets to lock her door. Paano kung may pumasok na magnanakaw dito? I called her but no one answered so I just welcomed myself in.

“Aiko?”  Tawag ko ulit sa kanya. I heard her voice from her room but I didn’t understand what she was saying. Akala ko alam niya nang nakapasok ako sa condo niya. Lumapit ako sa kwarto niya and the door was slightly opened. I peeked inside and what I saw made my heart drop. 

I was frozen for a moment, my jaw dropped in disbelief and my eyes widened in shock. My head was spinning and my heart was aching. I slowly took steps back and hit something behind me. Nahulog ang vase na nakapatong sa mesa sa tabi ng sofa. It made a loud crashing sound as it hit the floor and shattered into tiny pieces. I wanted to run from this place but my feet felt like it was stuck to the ground.

“What was that?”  I heard Aiko said. Lumabas si Tristan mula sa kwarto. We just stared at each other for a few seconds. I could see the shock in his face when he saw me. His face went from shock to emotionless. Lumapit si Aiko kay Tristan and wrapped her hands around him from behind.

“Oh hi, Miranda.”  She said with a smile. 

“I-I’m so sorry.”  Napayuko ako. I was trying so hard to hold back my tears. Damn it, Andi, don’t cry.  Sabi ko sa sarili ko.  “Sorry talaga nabasag ko pa itong vase mo.” 

 

“It’s okay. I hated that vase anyway.”  Aiko giggled.  “Kanina ka pa ba nandito?”

“K-kararating ko lang. I’m so sorry.”  I said, trying to keep my voice steady. I didn’t want to look at them so I kept my eyes on the ground.

“Don’t worry about it. Bakit ka nga pala nagpunta dito?” 

“I just… uh… dropped by to say hello.”  Sabi ko. 

“Guess what?”  She said with a huge smile on his face before looking at Tristan with twinkling eyes. Tristan averted his eyes from mine to Aiko’s. They were both staring at each other and I knew what Aiko was going to say. I knew she was going to say the words I dreaded to hear. Binalik ni Aiko ang tingin niya sa akin.  “Boyfriend ko na siya! He asked me to be his girlfriend kanina.”  Aiko said happily. Umakbay si Tristan sa kanya and he kissed her on the side of her head. Watching them was torture.

I felt physically sick. I had to inhale deeply to keep the tears at bay. I didn’t even know how I managed to smile.  “Oh…  I’m so happy for you guys.”  I tried to sound cheerful but my voice slightly cracked. Good thing they didn’t notice it. 

  “I-I need to go.”  Sabi ko. I didn’t know how long I could hold my tears.I could feel myself slowling losing control.

“Already? But you just got here.”  Sabi ni Aiko.

“May pupuntahan pa kasi ako. Dumaan lang ako dito.”  Dahilan ko.

“Oh ok. See you when I see you.”  Sabi niya.

I answered her with a smile before turning around. Nagmamadali akong lumabas sa condo ni Aiko. I was half running, half walking. I just wanted to get out of that place. I found myself crying in the elevator. Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagbuhos ng emotion ko. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t want to. They probably continued doing it pagkalabas ko sa condo. It hurts so bad thinking of him kissing another girl, touching her in intimate place… just like he does to me. What’s worse is sa best friend ko pa niya iyon ginagawa. 

I still couldn’t stop crying while I was driving. I still couldn’t stop my tears when I got out of the car. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?”  Tanong niya ng makasalubong ko siya. 

“Nothing…”  Mahinang sagot ko while I was looking at the floor.

“No, you don’t cry about nothing.”  Sabi niya. Napayakap na lang ako sa kanya at umiyak. He rubbed my back while I cry. He brought me to our room and tried to comfort me.

“Si Tristan ba ang dahilan?”  He asked. I didn’t answer.  “What did he do to you?”

“Sila na ni Aiko.”  I couldn’t contain my sobs.

“So you still love him huh?”  He said in a low voice.  

“I don’t want to but I do.”  Pag-aamin ko.    

“He’s the guy who left you three years ago. Are you forgetting that, Andi? You shouldn’t love him. Hindi ba kaya ka bumalik dito para gumanti sa ginawa niya sa’yo.”  He said with frustrated tone in his voice. I didn’t say anything I just kept crying. He cupped my face and kissed me on the forehead.  “Stop torturing yourself. You’ve had enough. You deserve to be happy… Tigilan mo na ang mga ginagawa mo. Maybe if you let go of your hate for him, you’ll finally let go of all the feelings you have for him.”  

He lowered his head to me and kissed me on the lips. I was shocked at first. We never kiss when we’re alone. His eyes were closed so I closed mine too and kissed him back. We’ve kissed before but it was all fake. It was all for the show. Noong nasa New York kami and I hid Tristan in the closet. Nung sinundo niya ako sa airport… It was all fake.

And now that its real, it felt wrong. It always feels wrong when I’m kissing another guy other than Tristan. I hated it. I dated alot of guys but I couldn’t bring myself to sleep with them. Siya palagi ang naiisip ko and right now I just want to stop thinking about him. I kissed Jason harder trying to make it feel right. He gently pushed me down and I felt my back touch the bed. I opened my eyes. 

I suddenly pulled away from the kiss and he looked at me confused.  “What’s wrong?”

“I just- I can’t… I’m sorry.”  Sabi ko sa kanya. Hindi ko kaya.

“No, I’m sorry.”  He whispered. 

Jason had been there for me when no one else was and he understood how I felt. Sometimes I wish I could love him back.

 

Tristan’s POV

I just watched her walk away. I was just standing, watching her leave. I didn’t do anything. Every step she took was like a stab in my heart. I wanted to ran after her but I couldn’t. I guess I’ve accepted that we just couldn’t be together again. It’s not that she’s not worth the fight anymore. She said she didn’t want me anymore. Ito naman ang gusto niya hindi ba? She was the one who asked me to let her go.

“Babe…”  Naglalambing na sabi ni Aiko paglabas ni Andi sa pinto. I closed my eyes tightly and inhaled a deep breathe. I didn’t even know if I made the right decision. I didn’t do this to hurt Andi. I really do like Aiko… but I love Andi. Hindi na magbabago iyon pero sinusubukan ko naman na siya kalimutan. Masaya na siya kay Jason at nangako akong hindi ko na siya guguluhin pa. I broke that promise at Phoenix’s wedding. I lost control. Nagseselos ako habang nakikita ko silang magkasama ni Jason. Naiinis ako sa tuwing hahawakan niya si Andi. I felt like I should be the only one touching and kissing her. Ngayon tutuparin ko na ang pangako ko sa kanya. I’m going to try to move on. Hindi ko na guguluhin ang relasyon nila. 

“Tristan.”  She said trying to get my attention. I woke up from my thoughts and looked at her.

“Come on…”  She smiled teasingly. She took my hand and pulled me back in the room. I took her out to dinner at inihatid ko siya dito. Next thing I knew she was kissing me and leading me to her bed. And  before we could do anything Andi came.

She bit her lower lip seductively and looked me in the eye while unbuttoning my shirt. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya when she got to the fifth button.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Why?”  She looked at me puzzled.

“I don’t  have any protection with me.”  Sabi ko. I would never be stupid enough to have sex with a girl without protection. I use protection with every girl I’ve been with. Except Andi. We never used condom once. I love feeling her raw insides. When we were still together, we always use pull out method but most of the time I forget and come inside her. She was too young at that time and I thought it would be selfish if I get her pregnant. Pero kung sakaling mabuntis siya ng mga panahong iyon I would be the happiest guy. Deep down I was secretly wishing she would get pregnant. Now she and her husband are planning to have a baby together. It hurts like hell to even think of her carrying another man’s child. 

“May convenience store sa labas.”  Sabi ni Aiko. 

“I’m sorry, Aiko. I’m tired.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.  “I think I’ll just go home.”

“Tristan.”  She pouted.

I smiled faintly and kissed her on the forehead. “Goodnight.”

Chapter Forty Six

“Is he gay?”  Aiko said out of nowhere while we were watching American Psycho. Tinawagan niya ako kanina para samahan siyang magshopping. Ilang beses niya na akong inayang lumabas at palagi ko siyang tinanggihan. This time wala na akong maisip na dahilan and I didn’t want her to think na iniiwasan ko siya. Naisip ko rin na I shouldn’t let Tristan affect our friendship. Just because boyfriend niya na si Tristan, it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends anymore.

After shopping, pumunta kami dito sa condo niya at nanonood ng movie like we always do when we hang out. We spent the whole day together and surprisingly she never mentioned anything about Tristan. It was weird because she used to talk about him non-stop. 

I turned my head from the tv to her and gave her a weird look.  “Patrick Bateman? No, I don’t think he’s gay…

“  Sabi ko sa kanya. I reverted my eyes back to the tv and took a popcorn from the bowl.

“Not him. Si Tristan, is he gay?”  She asked. 

I almost choked on the popcorn in my mouth and started coughing. Tristan? Gay? Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o ano. I never thought I’d hear Tristan and gay together in one sentence. We’ve lived together, we had GREAT sex… kahit kailan hindi pumasok sa isip ko ang idea na iyon. He is every inch a man at maraming beses niyang napatunayan iyon. 

“What made you think that?”  I asked with my brows furrowed.

“We’ve been dating for almost a month and we still haven’t… you know.”  She sighed and frowned.   “He’s always making up excuses not to have sex with me. Oh I didn’t bring any condom, I’m tired, I’m not in the mood.”  She rolled her eyes and popped popcorn in her mouth.

“So you mean, you guys never did ‘it’?  I asked surprised. She shook her head as an answer. “But I saw you… you were with him… on your bed… and you two were kissing.”

“Nothing happened, he left right after you did. Sabi niya he didn’t bring protection.”   Lumabi siya.Nothing happened between them… they never had sex? It made me pause for a moment. Nothing. Happened. It took some time for my brain to process what she said.  “ Is something wrong with me? Am I not attractive enough?“

“No, no… there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re beautiful pero ikaw na nga ang nagsabi na he’s different. Maybe he respects you enough and he just wants to take it slow.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“You think so?” 

 

“Uh-huh.”  I said.   “Are you happy with him, Aiko?”

“Of course, I am. I love him.”  Sabi niya. 

“Paano kapag bumalik ka na sa LA?”  I asked. She only had two more weeks before she goes back to California. Tatlong buwan lang siyang puwede magstay dito sa Pilipinas dahil may mga trabaho pa siyang naiwan sa Los Angeles. 

“Sabi niya pupuntahan naman niya ako doon.”  She answered. 

“You think it’ll work out?”  Tanong ko.  “What if you find another guy in LA or what if he finds someone else. Mahirap ang long distance relationsip.”

“Bakit kayo naman ni Jason, you’re still together.”  Sabi niya.

“I dated other guys, Aiko.”  I reminded her.   

“Oo nga, pero hindi ka naman seryoso sa kanila. You were faithful to Jason.”  Sabi niya and she furrowed her brows.  “Why don’t you like Tristan?”

“It’s not that I don’t like him.”   It’s just that I’m in love with him and I can’t bear seeing him with you.  And I know she’s only going to get hurt in the end.   “I just don’t want you to end up getting hurt.”

“Why would I get hurt?” S he looked at me puzzled.  “Is there something I don’t know?”

“Nothing.”  Sagot ko. N othing e xcept that h

e was a former con artist male prostitute and also he’s my ex-boyfriend.   “Long distance relationship just isn’t easy. What if he fools around with other girls when you go back to LA?”

“Tristan, would never do that.”  She shrugged and turned her attention to the tv. We went back to watching the movie again. After a few minutes, nag ring ang doorbell. Aiko got up to open the door. 

“Oh hi, Jason.

 Hey Miranda, it’s your husband.“  Sigaw ni Aiko habang nakatayo sa pinto. I turned my head to the door where she was standing. I knew it was him. Tumawag siya kanina sa akin bago kami manood ng movie, he said he was going to pick me up dito. She opened the door wider.  “Come in.” 

Jason stepped inside and Aiko closed the door. 

“Make yourself comfortable.”  Si Aiko. 

Tumayo ako at sinalubong si Jason. He hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek.  “Hey, beautiful.”  He said. I smiled at him, we have to play the sweet couple in front of other people.

“Aw, how sweet.”  Aiko said, looking at us. 

   

“Let’s go, wife?”  Si Jason.

   “Okay, we have to go, Aiko.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Oh, before you leave I just wanted to know if you guys would maybe want to come to dinner on Sunday? Nothing fancy, just a simple, quiet supper.” 

  Aiko said. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni Jason and he nodded his head.

“By all means, we’d love to.”  Sumagot si Jason.

“Great!”  She said before giving me a hug.  “Bye, Miranda.” And then, she turned to Jason and gave him a cheek to cheek kiss.  “Bye, Jason. See you on Sunday!”

 

  

Jason pressed the doorbell and we waited for someone to open the door. After a couple of second the door opened and it was Tristan. We stood silent for the first few seconds awkwardly exchanging glances. Tristan turned his eyes to Jason at nagsukatan sila ng titig. I squeezed Jason’s arm to make him stop.

“Come  in…”  Said Tristan in a cold voice. Tumalikod siya at naglakad papunta sa kitchen at sinundan namin siya. 

“They’re here, Aiko.”  Sabi ni Tristan. She was standing in front of the oven wearing an apron over her casual baby blue dress. Aiko turned her head to us and smiled. 

“You guys came just in time. The salmon is almost done.”  Sabi ni Aiko.   

The timer on the oven started beeping frantically. She put on her mitts and turned to the oven. The delicious smell filled the room as she took the pan out from the oven.

“Careful, babe. Baka mapaso ka.”  Sabi ni Tristan kay Aiko. Hearing him call her babe irked me. 

“Don’t worry about me.”  Nakangiting sabi ni Aiko. Nilapag niya ang pan sa counter top.  “Ako na ang bahala dito. Asikasuhin mo na lang si Miranda at Jason.”

“Okay.”  Kibit-balikat na sabi niya.

“Thanks, babe.”  She said before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. I looked away, not wanting  to see it. I knew it was going to be a long night. God, I’m going to watch them be all lovey dovey and kissy faced all night. Kaya ko ba ito?

“Why don’t you guys sit down while I prepare our dinner.”  Sabi ni Aiko. We followed Tristan to the dining room and Jason pulled a chair for me. The table was round and it was decorated beautifully with white linen, lit candles and flowers. Tristan sat down next to me, across from Jason.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the three of us and I could feel them staring at each other with intense dislike. Lumabas si Aiko mula sa kusina na dala ang pagkain. Saka lang naghiwalay ng tingin ang dalawa. 

“Dinner is ready.”  She said as she put it down on the table.  “Baked salmon with cream cheese mayo.”

“That smells so nice.” S abi ni Jason.  “And you set a nice table here, Aiko.”

“Oh, Tristan did it. He told me he used to work as a waiter kaya magaling siya sa mga ganyan.”  Sagot ni Aiko.

“Where? At a strip club?”  Jason chuckled. I saw Tristan threw him a nasty look and Jason smirked at him and his eyes flickered with a hint of malice. 

“Oh, Jason, you’re such a joker.”  She giggled, oblivious of the tension around her. Aiko sat down on the vacant chair between Tristan and Jason and we started eating. 

Aiko took out a bottle of alcohol and we sat in the living room after dinner. I glanced at Tristan and Aiko who were cuddling on the other end of the couch. His arms were wrapped around her and she was resting her back on his chest. I felt a sharp pang in my chest but fought it back and tried to ignore it. 

Jason put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. I caught Tristan looking with his eyes narrowed. I didn’t look away and neither did he. For a few moments it was like a staring contest. Aiko started giving him small kisses on the cheek and I lost when I looked away. 

“Let’s make this night interesting, why don’t we all share how we lost our virginity.” Sabi ni Aiko. Parehong natawa si Jason at Tristan and I shrugged. Nagpalit-palit ang tingin niya sa aming tatlo. “What? Nothing bonds like sharing a secret.”

 “Okay, why don’t you go first.” Jason grinned.

“Fine, I’ll go first.” She rolled her eyes, smiling. “I lost my virginity when I was 16 to my first boyfriend at the back of his car.” She said giggling.

“My first experience was with a friend when I was 14. We did it in her room while her parents were downstairs. They thought we were doing our homework together but we were actually doing each other.” Si Jason.

“A friend?” Aiko laughed. “You two must have been very close.”

“You bet! We knew each other from the inside and out. I’ve been inside so many times.” Natatawang sabi ni Jason. Tumawa din si Aiko.   

“How about you, Miranda?” Tumingin sa akin si Aiko.

“How about me what?” I asked innocently I knew what she was asking… I was just hoping I could get away with answering it. 

“C’mon don’t be a prude. We’ve told our stories, it’s your turn.” Aiko said. “How and when did you lose your virginity?”

“I…” I looked at Tristan and he was looking right back at me. His lips formed a smug smile and there was a hint of pride on his face. Jerk! “I lost it when I was 19, he was so small I didn’t even feel it go in. It was nothing special… actually it sucked.”  Of course, I was lying para saktan ang ego niya. 

Jason’s laughter boomed through the room. I gave Tristan a sideway glanced and smirked as his smug smile disappeared. It did work!

“It was that bad?” Natatawang tanong ni Aiko.

I nodded my head before taking a little sip of vodka and making a face as I swallow. Vodka isn’t really my thing. It’s just too strong for me. I usually drink fruity alcohol drinks. 

“Ikaw naman, Tristan.” Sabi ni Aiko.

“I was 16, it was at a motel with a woman twice my age.” He said with a shrug. He clearly looked like he didn’t want to talk about it. Naalala ko ang ikinuwento niya sa akin dati. May isang babaeng lumapit sa kanya at sinabing tutulungan siya. Binihisan siya nito, pinakain, binigyan ng maayos na tutulugan pero may kapalit pala lahat ng iyon. She exploited Tristan. He was just a young, naive teenage boy na gustong makaahon sa kahirapan. He didn’t want to go back to living in the streets kaya pumayag siya sa lahat ng gusto ng babaeng tumulong sa kanya. She forced him into prostitution para mapagkakitaan. I remember crying habang kinukwento niya sa akin iyon. Naninikip pa rin ang dibdib nang maalala ko iyon ngayon.

“Oohh… so you like older, experienced women huh?”  Aiko said giggling. Tristan answered him with a shrug.

“How much is your rate?”  One corner of Jason’s lips curled higher. I gave him a squeeze on the leg to shut him up. 

Tristan’s eyes narrowed to Jason.  “I’m sorry?”

“I mean sa motel. How much is the rate? I’ve never been to a motel before.

“  Sabi ni Jason. I knew he was subtly insulting Tristan at alam kong alam din ni Tristan iyon.

“I can’t remember,  that was a long time ago.”  He answered in a cold tone.

“Need help?”  I almost dropped the dish I was washing when I heard his voice from behind me. Pinagpatuloy ko ang paghuhugas ng plato and didn’t bother to turn around.

After awhile of drink, everyone got drunk well… except me. I only had two shots of vodka. Hinatid na ni Tristan si Aiko sa kwarto niya and I left Jason sleeping on the couch. Pumunta ako dito sa kusina at naisipan kong ligpitin na lang ang pinagkainan namin sa mesa. 

“No, I’m good.” I answered. I felt him took a step closer to me and my heart started beating fast with anticipation. Napasinghap ako when he pressed his hot body against my back. I started to move but he blocked me with his arms. He placed his hands on the counter on each side of me, trapping me. I could feel his warm breath on my neck sending shivers down my body. He traced a line with his nose from my neck to my cheek and gave me a single kiss.  “God, Andi, I want you.”

Napapikit ako ng mariin. Alam kong hindi ito tama. We’re in Aiko’s condo at nasa kabilang kwarto lang siya, drunk as hell. But I also knew I could never resist him. No matter how hard I try hindi ko siya kayang hindi-an. And he knows it, he knows I want him as much as he wants me. Gumapang ang isang kamay niya sa pisngi ko at hinarap niya ako sa kanya. He pressed his lips against mine hungrily and I could taste alcohol. Alam kong marami din siyang nainom.

I felt his other hand on the side of my thigh, slowly making its way up my skirt. I felt that familiar heat building up between my thighs. I wanted to stop this before it’s too late, before I lose complete control but it was so hard. How can I stop something I want to happen?

“This is so wrong.”  I managed to murmur against his lips. 

“I know, baby.”  He said breaking the kiss. Bumaba ang halik niya sa leeg ko, he slowly slid his hand up my skirt and palmed me through my underwear. His other hand cupped my breast, squeezing it gently. He stopped massaging it after awhile and used that hand to unbutton his pants. Then I felt his hardness brushing on my inner  thigh. He began stroking it up and down on my thigh, he was getting harder and harder every second and it excites me. I could feel myself getting wet already with anticipation.

He started rubbing his dick on the outside of my underwear. I moaned and rocked myself back and forth on his long length. He chuckled before pushing my panties aside and he pushed himself inside me. Filling me inch by inch, stretching me so good. It’s been more than a month since the last time we did this and I could feel my tightness wrapping around him.

“Do you feel it now, Andi?”  He whispered in my ear in a hoarse voice.

“Yes, oh god, yes!”  I began moving my hips, wanting him to go deeper in to me. Hinawakan niya ang magkabilang baywang ko para pigilan ako.

“Small?”  He asked teasingly.

“No…”  I said in a small voice. He still couldn’t get over what I said about his penis being small. 

“Can you feel how tight you are around me, babe?”  He asked.

“Yes…”  I whimpered and he finally started moving. He thrusted into me deep and slowly.

“Andi!”  My body froze when I heard that voice. It wasn’t Tristan’s, I was sure it wasn’t him. Natigilan din si Tristan sa paggalaw.

He quickly pulled himself out of me and fixed my skirt. Pareho kaming napalingon sa likod namin nagmamay-ari ng boses na iyon. It was Jason, nakatayo siya sa may pinto ng kusina. I heard Tristan cuss under his breath. 

“J-Jason…”  I said, still in shock.  I felt like a deer in the headlight. 

Lumapit sa akin si Jason at hinawakan ako sa braso at marahas na hinatak. “Let’s go home!”  He said in an angry voice.

“You’re hurting her.”  Mariin na sabi ni Tristan.

“Huwag kang mangingialam dito.”  He snarled. Binitawan niya ako at humarap kay Tristan. 

“Jason, please, let’s go home.”  Pakiusap ko sa kanya. Sinubukan ko siyang ilayo kay Tristan para hindi na lumaki ang gulo but he wouldn’t budge. 

The two of them stared at each other with burning hatred in their eyes. They looked like they wanted to kill each other so I got in between them.

“Tristan please…”  I turned to him, pleading with my eys asking him stop because Jason wouldn’t listen to me.

“How much do I have to pay you for pleasuring my wife?”  Kumuha siya ng pera mula sa bulsa niya at itinapon sa mukha ni Tristan. He didn’t move, he just stared at Jason with eyes full of fury.  “Kulang pa ba sa’yo yan?”

“Stop it, Jason!” 

“Hindi ko kailangan ng pera mo.”  Mariin na sabi ni Tristan.  “I’m fucking richer than you are now. Kayang-kaya kitang bilhin kung gusto ko, Jason.”

“Oo nga naman.”  Jason laughed sarcastically.  “Mayaman ka na nga pala ngayon. Pero ang basura, kahit bihisan mo basura pa rin. Aalingasaw pa rin ang amoy. Katulad mo, kahit bihisan mo pa ang sarili mo ng ginto, ugaling iskwater ka pa rin, wala ka pa rin pinagaralan, isa ka pa rin call boy.”

Tristan lost his cool. Nasa aktong susugurin ni Tristan si Jason ng pigilan ko siya.  “Please, stop it you two!”  Sigaw ko sa kanila. Natatakot akong baka magising si Aiko, I don’t know how I’ll explain to her what had happened.

Sapilitan kong inilabas si Jason sa condo unit para umuwi na. 

“Ano bang meron siya na wala ako, ha?”  Sigaw niya sa akin pagkalabas namin. 

“Please, Jason, calm down.”  Malumanay na sabi ko. I knew he was drunk and it was the alcohol making him act like this.

“Ganyan ka ba talaga ka-cheap, Andi? Game na game ka kahit saan. Wala ka na ba talagang hiya sa katawan, nagawa mong gawin iyon sa boyfriend ng bestfriend mo sa sarili niyang pamamahay.”  He said.  “You can’t get enough of his dick? Meron din ako nun! Kaya kitang paligayahin katulad ng ginagawa niya.”

“Jason!”  I stared at him in disbelief. I couldn’t believe all the words that are coming out of his mouth right now.

“You know what you are? You’re a slut! A dirty slut, Andi, that’s what you are!”

I slapped him across the face. He looked at me shock for a moment. Realization of what he said began to dawn on his face.  “I… Andi, I’m…”

Tumalikod ako sa kanya at naglakad palayo.

He cussed loudly.  “I’m so sorry, Andi. I didn’t mean what I said.”  I heard him say as I was walking away.

Sumunod ako sa airport para magpaalam kay Aiko. Of course nandun din si Tristan. I tried to ignore his presence at lumapit ako kay Aiko.

“Miranda, akala ko hindi ka na pupunta.”  Sabi ni Aiko nang makita ako.

“I’m sorry, I was stuck in the traffic.” S abi ko and then I hugged her.  “I’m going to miss you.”

“Babalik pa ako, no!” S he said laughing.  “Bantayan mo ang boyfriend ko habang wala ako.”  She whispered before breaking the hug and looked at me.  “Okay?”

I slowly nodded my head.

“Thanks, bestfriend!” S he said,

I suddenly felt guilt gnawing inside me nang maalala ko ang ginawa namin ni Tristan noong nasa condo niya kami. Sa akin niya pa pinagkatiwala si Tristan. He cheated on her with me. He cheated on my bestfriend with me and I feel ashamed. God, I don’t even deserve to be called her bestfriend. 

“Oh they’re calling my flight. I have to go na.”  Sabi ni Aiko, grabbing the handle of her luggage trolley. 

Lumapit siya kay Tristan and she kissed him on his lips.  “I love you, baby.”

“I’ll miss you.”  Sagot ni Tristan. 

“I’ll be back.”  Aiko smiled.

She cupped his face and kissed him again. His arms wrapped around her. I felt a stab of pain in my chest as I watch them.

They broke from the kiss and Aiko waved her hand to me.  “Bye, Miranda.”

Kinuha niya ulit ang luggage na at naglakad papasok sa airport. She turned around one more time and waved her hand to us. Tumingin sa akin si Tristan ng makapasok na si Aiko. Tinalikuran ko siya at naglakad na palayo.

---

Author’s Note

Hey guys, sorry sa matagal na UD. I won’t lie, I’ve been stalling lol. So sorry. 

Happy new year sa inyong lahat. Susubukan ko talaga na magupdate na ng madalas. I’ll try to be more active on here, yun kasi ang new year’s resolution ko haha.  Anyway, thank you for patiently waiting for this chapter. Love you guys! :*

Chapter Forty Seven

Nililibang ko ang sarili ko sa mall when I saw Phoenix and Cassie, who was very pregnant, he had his arm around Cassie’s shoulder at masaya silang nag-uusap. I just had to stare at them for a little while. Phoenix seemed so happy and contented and Cassie was glowing from her pregnancy. She looked really beautiful and radiant, pregnancy suited her well. Napangiti ako ng makita kong halikan ni Phoenix si Cassie sa noo. He’s so obviously in love with his wife and they looked so good together.

My heart constricted painfully when my I lowered my eyes to her belly. I was happy for them, I really was but I couldn’t help but be jealous. There’s always a twinge of sadness and jealousy when I see pregnant women. 

“Hey, Andi!”  Narinig kong sabi ni Phoenix nang makita niya ako.

I smiled at him at lumapit ako sa kanila.  “Hey, what are you guys doing here?”

“We’re just looking around for things for the babies.”  Phoenix said with a wide smile on his face. 

Napatingin ako kay Cassie at sa tiyan niya. She looks like she’s ready to give birth anytime soon. I really envy her. I wished it was me. She’s just so beautiful and happy with her gorgeous bump. Kailan ko kaya mararanasan ang maging isang ina? Will I ever know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me?

“Ilang months na?”  I asked Cassie while looking at her tummy.

She smiled faintly.  “Seven.”

“Now, you only have to wait two more months.”  I said with a smile and sighed. They were having twins. Phoenix was so happy when he told me the news. He was so excited he told everyone, he was such a proud daddy-to-be and I think it was cute. Kung sinabi ko kaya kay Tristan noon na buntis ako, ano kaya ang magiging reaction niya.

“I know. Ngayon pa lang excited na ako. I can’t wait to meet them.”  Masayang sabi ni Phoenix as he gazed fondly at her bump. The look on his face everytime he talks about the babies was priceless.

“Am I gonna have nieces or nephews or both?”  Tanong ko.

“Actually, we don’t know the gender of the twins yet. We want it to be a surprise.”  Sabi ni Phoenix. 

“Oh!”  Napahawak si Cassie sa tiyan niya. Pareho kaming napatingin kay Cass.

“Hey, are you ok?”  I asked.

What’s wrong, Cass?“  Nag-aalalang napahawak si Phoenix sa tiyan ng asawa niya. 

Cassie smiled and put her hand on his.  “Nothing. I just felt a kick.” She moved Phoenix’s hand around.  “Did you feel that?”

Napangiti din si Phoenix at tumango.   “Yeah, yeah I did.”

Tumingin sa akin si Cassie. “They’re getting more and more active everyday. Minsan nga nagigising ako ng madaling araw dahil nararamdaman ko silang gumagalaw sa tiyan ko.” 

“Oh there it is again!”  Phoenix said excitedly.  “I have a feeling that we’re going to have soccer players.” 

Natawa si Cassie sa sinabi ng asawa.

I bit my lower lip.  “Can I… can I touch it too? I want to feel it move.” I asked shyly. 

“Sure, of course.”  Agad na sagot ni Cassie.

I put my hands on her bump and felt it slightly move. My eyes grew big and I felt like crying. I couldn’t explain how I was feeling right now. I felt so overwhelmed with joy and longing. So this is what it feels like?  Sana naranasan ko rin ito. I wish I got to feel my baby move too. 

“T-thank you.”  My voice was shaking and my eyes stung with tears. I removed my hands from her stomach.  

Cassie smiled at me with sympathy. She probably noticed I was getting teary eyed.  “Hey,  someday magkakaroon ka rin ng baby and that child will be lucky to have you as a mother.”

“Thanks, Cass.”  I tried to smiled. Nagpaalam na ako sa kanila pagkatapos cause I know if I stayed any longer, they would probably see me cry. 

I was sitting at a press conference for a clothing line I was endorsing. Napapalibutan ako ng mga cameras at microphones. Nagsimula silang magtanong ng mga tanong na may kinalaman sa clothing brand na ineendorse hanggang sa mapunta na sa personal na buhay ko.

“What made you decide to get in to fashion and follow you mother’s footstep?”  One of the journalists asked.

“Well, it’s just kind of happened. I never planned on being a model. I really thought I was going to end up being a kindergarten teacher or something like that.”  Sagot ko.

“Totoo bang maghihiwalay na kayo ni Jason?”  Tanong ng isa pa.

“No, it’s not true.”  Maikling sagot ko.

“Babalik ka pa ba sa States or are you going to stay here for good?”

“My husband and I are planning to stay here for good. He’s actually thinking of putting up a business with my dad.” S agot ko.

“Would you be willing to pose nude for a magazine?”  

“Maraming nag-ooffer sa akin ng nude photoshoot projects, I turned them all down but now I think I’m ready.” S abi ko.  “But I want to work with someone I’m comfortable with. Someone I know. Si Tristan Gonzales, he’s my bestfriend’s boyfriend and he’s a brilliant photographer. I want to work with him.”

“Hey.”  Napaangat ako ng tingin mula sa librong binabasa ko. Jason was standing in front of me with his hands in his pocket. We haven’t really talked since nung gabing nag-away kami sa condo ni Aiko. I’ve been avoiding him since that night.

  “Hey.”  I said before bringing my eyes back to the book I was reading and pretending to be busy. He sat beside me.

“Can I talk to you?”  He asked.

I put the book down and looked at him.  “About what?”

“I just want to apologize. Gusto kong humingi ng tawad sa mga nasabi ko sa’yo.”  He said.  “I was so drunk that night and… and jealous. I’m out of control when I’m drunk. Hindi ko nakontrol ang emosyon ko. You know how I feel about you right? I know I’ve told you this before but I’ll say it again, I’m in love with you Andi.”

“It’s alright, I forgive you.”  Sabi ko and then I took a deep breath.  “Naging mabuti ka sa akin at marami kang naitulong sa akin and I’m really thankful for having a friend like you but we can’t be more than that. Sorry, Jason.”

He nodded his head.  “Yeah, I know that. Siya pa rin hindi ba?”

I didn’t say anything I just looked at him but somehow I knew that he knows the answer.

He forced a smile.  “I will always have your back, Andi. I’ll always be here for you when you need me.”

“Thank you, Jason.”  I smiled and hugged him.

Tristan’s POV

“Sir, nandito po ang isa sa mga editor ng The Gentlemen magazine. He wants to know if he could talk to you?” Narinig ko ang boses ng sekretarya ko mula sa intercom. It’s not really new to me. Maraming magazine ang nag-iinterview sa akin kadalasan may kinalaman sa negosyo.

“Does he have an appointment?”  I asked while my eyes were still on the computer screen. 

“No, sir. I checked and wala po kayong appointment ngayon araw.”  Sagot ni Jean.

“Well then, I can’t talk to him. I’m pretty busy right now. Tell him that he’d have to set up an appointment.”  I said.

Pinagpatuloy ko ang trabaho ko at dumating ang lunch break. I usually have lunch with Phoenix at the company’s restaurant pero ngayon hindi na masyado. Palagi kasi siyang ginagawan ni Cassie ng baon. Sometimes he’d still come with me to the restaurant but he won’t order anything, instead he’d eat the food that Cassie made for him.

Paglabas ko sa opisina agad akong nilapitan ng isang lalaki.  “Hi, I’m Carlos Mendoza and I work for The Gentlemen magazine.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Mendoza, I’m on a-”

“Please, I need to talk to you. This won’t take long.”  Sabi nito.

I sighed.  “Fine.”

“I know you’re a very busy man ngunit gusto ko lang magbaka sakali kung tatanggapin mo ang offer namin sayo na maging photographer para sa isang photoshoot project.”  Sabi nito.

“I’m sorry, marami akong pinagkakaabalahan.”  I said, walking away.

“But it’s with Miranda de Veyra.”  Sabi nito. I paused mid-step when I heard Andi’s name.  “She said she wanted to do a photoshoot project with you. Papayag lang daw siya kung ikaw ang photographer.”

As I was fixing my camera, pumasok si Andi sa kwarto suot ang puting silk robe. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nagtama ang mga mata namin. She slowly took her robe off, revealing her lingerie to the whole room. She was wearing black lace bra and thong that exposed her butt cheeks with garter belt and stockings. All eyes were on her. Pati ang mga lalaking nagseset-up ng ilaw ay napatigil. I cursed silently, wanting to kill everyone in the room for seeing her in (almost) all her glory. And this is a fucking nude photoshoot! Makikita rin nilang nakahubad si Andi!

“Well are we going to start or what?”  Andi raised a brow at me.

I blinked a couple of times before clearing my throat and gesturing her to the bed. Sumampa si Andi sa kama at nagsimulang magpose. Lumapit ang isang lalaki kay Andi para ayusin ang pose niya. His name was Leo, he works for the magazine and he’s gay. Hell, I didn’t care that he was gay, he needs to get his hands off her. 

“Don’t touch her!”  I blurted. Parang napasong binawi nito ang kamay mula sa pagkakahawak sa braso ni Andi. Everyone stared at me weirdly.  “Let her do her own pose. I want the photos I take to be natural.”  Dahilan ko.

“O-okay…” Leo said reluctantly bago bumalik sa kinauupuan niya sa gilid.

I started taking a couple of shots of her with different poses. 

“Okay, take off your bra na, Miranda. Let’s do the topless shot!”  Sabi ni Leo while I was in the middle of taking her photos. I suddenly frozed. Her. Topless. In front of them. Iniisip ko pa lang gusto ko na magwala.

I looked around the room, all these fuckers are going to see her bumpers! There were 7 guys in the room and 3 women. There’s no way in hell am I going to let those guys see her boobs! Not on my fucking watch.

“Everyone, get out of the room!”  Sigaw ko bago pa man maabot ni Andi ang hook ng bra niya sa likod. Andi furrowed her brows.

“What?!” Leo stood up from his seat.  “Bakit kailangan namin lumabas?”

“Can’t you see? She looked tensed. Hindi siya komportable.”  Sabi ko.  “We want this to look natural, don’t we?”

“But-” 

“Look, I’m the photographer here, I know what I’m doing. 

Kung hindi niyo kayang sundin ang simpleng pakiusap ko, ikaw na lang ang kumuha ng shots.“  Sinubukan kong iabot sa kanya ang camera.

Tinitigan niya lang ito bago tumalikod sa akin at humarap sa mga kasama niya.  “Labas muna tayo!”

Lumabas ang lahat at naiwan kaming dalawa ni Andi. I looked at her and she was staring at me.

“Why did you make them leave?”  Kunot ang noong tanong niya.

  “What? Did you want all those men to look at your…”  Bumaba ang tingin ko sa dibdib niya. Hindi pa nga siya nakahubad naglalaway na ang mga lalaking iyon kanina. It really pissed me off.

“Just take off your bra so we can get started.” S abi ko. She looked right into my eyes and a naughty smile appeared on her lips. She reached for her bra hook behind her back without taking her eyes off me, and slowly unclasped it releasing her pink perky nipples. I shifted in my seat, feeling my erection rise. I’ve seen her body hundreds of times before but it still had the same effect on me.

“How do you want me to pose, Mr. photographer?”  She said with a seductive tone on her voice. My pants was getting really tight. She did all the pose I asked her to do. Though it’s a ‘nude’ photoshoot, I took photos showing as little of her as possible. I didn’t like the thought of having other men seeing her intimate parts on the magazine, drooling over her, wanting her… like I do right now.

“Now lie on your back, slightly bend one leg and fold your arms to your chest a little.”  Sabi ko sa kanya habang kumukuha ng shots. 

“Why don’t you come here and show me what to do.”  Mapanuksong sabi niya, biting lower lip. I suddenly stopped taking photos and looked at her, dumbfounded. I felt my throat dry and I had to gulp. She raised her brows, hinihintay na gumalaw ako. Binitawan ko ang camera na hawak ko at lumapit sa kanya.

I moved her arm to her chest and accidentally brushed a finger on her nipple. I heard her gasp a little. Fuck! The sexual tension between us was killing. I could feel my shaft getting really painfully hard inside my pants.

While I was fixing her position, she suddenly reached and cupped my crotch. I made a small growl when she slightly squeezed it.  “What is this, Mr. Gonzales?”  Tumingala siya sa akin. She was looking at me innocently.  “Is this a boner? Are you getting hard for me? This is so unprofessional.” 

“A-andi…”  I said in a raspy voice. Her hands went to the button of my pants and she undid it.  “Andi what are you doing? There are people outside.”

“So? They’re outside naman eh.”  She said as she pulled my pants down along with my underwear. She took my desperately hard length in her hand lightly stroking it. I couldn’t help but moan.

“God, Andi!”  I groaned as she stroke me. Pagkatapos ay hinatak niya ako sa kama dahilan para mapadagan ako sa kanya. She wrapped her arms around my neck and we started kissing passionately… hungrily. It felt like drinking water from an oasis in the middle of a burning desert. My hands started to wander around her body, feeling every part of her. One of my hand stopped on her bare breast and I kneaded it softly. She moaned against my mouth when I took her nipple between my fingers and started squeezing it.

Soon she was on top of me, lowering herself on my length. I watched as my shaft disappear in her. She was so small and tight like the last time I had her. How did she managed to be this fucking tight and wet at the same time? I pulled her upper body down to me and started sucking one of her breast. Andi let out a loud moan when I began thrusting myself, she started bouncing up and down meeting my thrust. Napakapit siya sa buhok ulo ko, her fingers digging into my hair. Her breath became deeper and more rapid, her pussy tightening around me and I knew she was going to come. I sucked her breast harder, my tongue flicking furiously over her nipple inside my mouth at binilisan ko ang paggalaw. I was getting close to coming too. 

“Tristaaan… Ohh f-faster, I’m almost there…”  She said with a hoarse, out of breath voice. I thrusted in to her fast and hard, trying to give her as much pleasure as I could. My entire body suddenly tensed, I moaned against her breast as I felt my come spurt inside of her. She collapsed on top of me, my dick still inside, throbbing and I could feel her throbbing around me too. Napadapa siya sa dibdib ko, still trying to catch her breath.

Nang makabawi kami pareho ay pinagpatuloy namin ang photoshoot. Nang matapos namin iyon, we ended up going to my condo unit where we made love again and again. I’ve lost count of how many times. 

“Hindi ka ba hinahanap sa inyo, mahal ko?”  Tanong ko sa kanya. We were lying on my bed, both tired and sated, her head resting on my arm while my fingers idly stroke her back. Hindi ko maiwasan maalala ang nakaraan, we used to be like this when we were together. I missed cuddling with her after a passionate love making. Ginagawa din ba nila ni Jason ito? Pumasok sa isip ko ang tanong na iyon ngunit agad ko iyon pinalis. Hindi ko dapat iniisip iyon. Ang importante nasa tabi ko siya ngayon, sa akin siya ngayon… hanggang ngayon lang. She isn’t mine anymore. She’s someone else’s wife. Ako ang nakikihati at nakikisawsaw sa relasyon nila ni Jason. Wala akong karapatan kay Andi.

“Bakit? Gusto mo na ba akong umalis?”  She said, burying her face in my side.

“Hindi naman sa ganun. I really wish you could here stay in my arms forever.”  Sabi ko sa kanya, I started playing with her hair.  “Pero hindi ka ba hahanapin ng asawa mo?” 

“I’ll tel l him I slept at a friend’s house.”  She answered lazily.

“The night your husband caught us, what happened after that? May ginawa ba siya sa’yo?”  Tanong ko sa kanya. Although I was drunk that night, I could still remember how angry Jason was when he saw us. I would be angry to if I were in his place. Inaamin ko na mali ang ginawa kong iyon. Bukod sa nandun ang asawa niya, nasa pamamahay pa kami ni Aiko. I was so jealous seeing them together. Nagseselos ako kapag nakikita ko sila ni Jason, nagseselos ako kapag hinahawakan at hinahalikan siya ng asawa niya. Alam kong girlfriend ko na si Aiko ngunit hindi ko pa rin maiwasan ang magselos dahil sa totoo lang hanggang ngayon higit na mas matimbang ang nararamdaman ko para kay Andi. 

“Wala.”  Sagot niya.  “He was so drunk that night, nakalimutan niya na ang nangyari nung nagising siya.”

“Bakit mo ginagawa ito, Andi?”  Hindi ko napigilan ang itanong.

“Ang alin?” 

“May asawa ka na who can satisfy your needs. Why do you still sleep with me?”

“Because it’s more exciting. Nakakasawa din ang iisang sex partner lang.”  She said.

Natigilan ako. She really did changed alot. It was almost like every bit of her was gone. That innocent, childish and naive girl that I love was gone. She came back a different person and it was all my fault. I could feel the corner of my eyes sting. 

“Mahal ko.”  I whispered before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“Bakit mahal ko?”  She asked. I thought she was already asleep.

“Huh?”

“Why do you call me mahal ko?” 

I remembered she doesn’t like me calling her mahal ko.  “Sorry, old habits die hard.”

“I mean, bakit ba mahal ko ang naging tawagan natin.”  She looked up at me, her eyes half-open.

Bakit nga ba? Kasi mahal ko siya. Ganun kasimple.  “Why? Is something wrong with it?”

She crinkled her nose and smiled.  “It’s so baduy.”

“Baduy?”  Natawa ako.  “Tinatawag mo din akong mahal ko noon.”

“Yeah, but I just realized it’s baduy.”  She chuckled. 

“What do you mean baduy? It’s sweet and unique.” Depensa ko.  “I didn’t want to call you something generic like babe. That’s too generic it could almost mean nothing at all.”

“Yeah but mahal ko?”  She started laughing. 

“It could be worse you know.”

“It could?”  Dumapa siya sa dibdib ko at tumingin sa akin.

“Mm-hm… I could’ve called you labidabs.”  I joked. 

She laughed.  “Yun yung tawag ni mang Celso sa asawa niya.” Si mang celso ay ang kapit bahay namin noon nung nakatira pa kami sa apartment. 

“You used to love it when I call you mahal ko. Don’t you dare try to deny it.”

“Sinasakyan ko lang ang kabaduyan mo, no!”  She giggled.

“I don’t believe you.”  I smiled, trying to surpress a laugh. 

“You don’t?”  Nilapit niya ang mukha niya sa akin. Our face were only centimeters away from each other.

“Nah.”  I said shaking my head. She cupped my face and gave me alot small kisses on the lips, then those little kisses became long and passionate. 

She got on top of me and we started kissing again. I guess we’re up for another round. I shifted position so I was on top now and she was lying on the bed. My lips went down to her neck and to her breast, kissing it alternately… to her stomach, she automatically opened her legs for me when I licked the smooth skin below her stomach. I planted small kisses on her inner thigh, teasing her.

“Tristan, please…”  She whispered. My lips moved to her slit, kissing her there. We were both startled when the phone rang. Inangat ko ang ulo ko at tumingin sa kanya. 

“Just answer it, it might be important.”  Sabi niya. Umupo ako at inabot ang telepono. Tinignan ko ang caller id, si Aiko.

“It’s Aiko.”  Sabi ko kay Andi. Umiwas siya ng tingin sa akin. I cleared my throat before answering the call.  “Aiko.”

“Hi baby, I’m missing you so bad right now.”  Sabi niya sa kabilang linya.  “Ano’ng oras na ba dyan sa Pilipinas?”

“It’s three in the morning.”  Sabi ko.

“Oh I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“No, I was just getting ready for bed. May… may tinapos lang akong trabaho.”  Sagot ko. I felt so aweful for lying to her.

“Bigla lang kasi kitang naisip.”  She said.  “Is Miranda doing a good job?”

Pakiramdam ko nanigas ang buong katawan ko. What the fuck? How did she know? Tumingin ako kay Andi at kumunot ang noo niya. She probably sensed that something was wrong.

“W-what do you mean?”  I asked, trying to sound as innocent as I could.  

“I asked her to look after you while I’m gone para masiguradong hindi ka nangbabae.”  She laughed.

“Oh…”  I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. But fuck, I feel so guilty right now.  “Well, um, Andi and I saw each other today. Ako ang photographer sa photoshoot project niya.” 

“Wow, that’s so nice. I can’t wait to see the photos.”  Excited na sabi niya.  “I’m sure you and Miranda did a fantastic job. Well, I need to go na, baby. I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, goodnight. Mag-ingat ka d’yan.” S abi ko.

“You, too. I love you, baby. Bye.”  Sabi niya bago ibinaba ang phone.

Lumingon ako kay Andi. She was looking down, guilt evident in her eyes. Napasandal ako sa headboard. This is so fucking wrong. Kapag nalaman ni Aiko ang nangyayari sa amin dalawa ni Andi baka masira pa ang pagkakaibigan nila. I feel so goddamn awful.

Chapter Forty Eight

Hinintay ko siyang matulog bago ako umalis. When I was sure he was already asleep I gently took his arm off my waist and placed it beside him as I sat up on the edge of the bed. I hope my plan works out in my favor. Sana mabuntis na ako pagkatapos nito. I did everything the doctor told me to do, I already stopped taking birth control pills months ago and I was sure I was fertile before we had sex. I was desperate. Really desperate for a baby. It was all I wanted more than anything else in the world. It never left my mind since the day I touched Cassie’s pregnant belly and felt the baby move under my hand. It was a great feeling. Paano pa kaya kung anak ko na ang maramdaman kong gumagalaw sa loob ng tiyan ko?

I promised to myself that this would be the last time na gagawin namin ito. We made love all night long and all those times he came inside of me. Sana talaga magwork ang plano ko. I glanced at Tristan who was still peacefully sleeping. I knew I exhausted him as much as he did to me. I still felt sore between my thighs but it was in a good way. I carefully got out of bed, put my clothes on and quietly left his condo unit.

Kung sakaling magbunga ang ginawa namin I would go back to Los Angeles, I would give birth and raise my baby there. Hindi malalaman ni Tristan ang tungkol dito. Wala siyang karapatan. Kinukuha ko lang ang dapat na sa akin noon pa man. 

He called and texted me numerous times after that night but I ignored it all. I was tempted to answer, of couse. I really missed him but I thought mas maguguluhan lang ako kung gagawin ko iyon. I kept telling myself na nakaya ko naman na wala siya sa buhay ko ng tatlong taon and I would do fine without him. I didn’t want to complicate things between us anymore. I didn’t want to get my stupid emotions involved. I was just after his sperm. 

Three days ago pa mula ng umuwi si Aiko galing sa Los Angeles. That’s how I knew how serious she was with Tristan. That was so not Aiko. She wouldn’t go out of her way for a guy but she went out of her way for him. She was head over heels in love. Hindi ko siya nasundo sa airport nang dumating siya, in fact we still haven’t seen each other. Umiiwas lang ako kay Tristan, I knew he was going to be there too kaya hindi na lang ako nagpunta. She wanted to meet up with me today.

Nakaligo at nakabihis na ako ng makalabas ako ng bathroom. Nagkasalubong kami ni Jason at nagkabangga. He quickly caught me by the waist before I could hit the ground. I just felt so weak these days. Maybe it was because I had been eating so little. Palagi akong walang gana dahil siguro I was still upset about the negative pregnancy test. Yes, I took a pregnancy test about a week ago and it came up negative. I did cry over it and I’ve been crying alot about it.

“Hey, are you alright?”  Tanong sa akin ni Jason at dahan-dahan inalalayan at inupo sa kama.

“Yeah, I just got a little dizzy.”  Sabi ko.

“You’ve been acting weird these past few days. Sigurado ka bang ok ka lang?”  He asked in a worried tone.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”  I said with an assuring smile.

“Aalis ka ba ngayon?”  He asked and I nodded my head. 

“I’m going to meet up with Aiko.”  Sabi ko. I couldn’t bail out on her, magtatampo na talaga sa akin iyon.

“Ihahatid na kita.”  Sabi ni Jason.

“No, no… you don’t have to.”  I said. Ayaw kong maabala pa siya.

“Makikipagkita rin ako kay attorney kaya sumabay ka na lang sa akin.”  Sabi niya. Hindi na ako tumanggi pa. I didn’t know if I could drive or even function right now. I’ve been feeling under the weather this week. I couldn’t pinpoint anything specific that made me feel crappy but I just do.

Jason dropped me off at the mall where Aiko and I were supposed to meet. 

“Ano’ng oras kita susunduin?”  He asked before I got out of the car.

I smiled at him.  “I’ll just take a cab home.”

He shook his head.  “No, I’m going to pick you up.”

“Really, Jason, it’s okay. You don’t have to.”  Sabi ko.

“But I want to.”  He said with a warm smile. “Hindi ba sabi ko naman sa’yo babawi ako sa kasalanan ko.”

I smiled back at him. He maybe an asshole sometimes, especially when intoxicated, but the more I got to know him, the more I realized that it was all just an exterior, his assholeness. He was really a nice guy. It would be so much easier kung sa kanya akong na in love instead of Tristan. Siya naman talaga ang dapat na naging asawa ko noon pa man. I wonder what might have happened if I had never met Tristan… if I didn’t ran away with him that night. I think I would have eventually fallen in love with Jason. Hindi naman kasi siya mahirap mahalin.

“Andi?”  He raised his brows, waiting for an answer. I snapped back from my thought.

“Huh?”

He chuckled. “What time am I going to pick you up?”

“Oh, um…”  I looked down at my wrist watch. Wala naman din akong planong magtagal. I’ll just have lunch with Aiko at uuwi na rin ako. I wasn’t really in the mood para mamasyal. “Siguro mga three o’clock.”  

“Ok, got it.”  He said with a wink. I thanked him for dropping me off at nagpaalam na siya at umalis.

Habang naglalakad ako napahinto ako sa isang drug store. I thought of taking another pregnancy test. Maybe mali lang yung unang result. Maybe I really am pregnant kaya siguro palaging masama ang pakiramdam ko. Okay, I was still indenial. Hindi ko pa rin tanggapin na hindi ako buntis! But it wouldn’t hurt kung susubukan ko ulit. 

So, I found myself in front of the cashier asking for a pregnancy test kit. Nang mabayaran ko iyon ay agad akong nagpunta sa isa sa rest room. I took the pregnancy test kit from the box, peed on the stick and got myself ready for another disappointment. Five minutes. I had to wait five minutes for the result to show up.

Biglang tumunog ang phone ko at sinagot ko iyon.

“Where are you?”  It was Aiko.  “I’ve been waiting for you for, like, forever!”

“Papunta na ako.”  I said.

“Nasaan ka na ba?”  Tanong niya.  “Please hurry na, there’s a creep following me!”

“Okay, okay, geez.”  I said shaking the pregnancy test. Damn it! Bakit hindi pa lumabas ang result? I decided to put it back in the box and just shove the box inside my bag. Lumabas na ako ng rest room at pinuntahan ko siya.

“Mirandaaa!”  Sinalubong niya ako ng yakap ng makita ako. I hugged her back.  “I missed you girl.”

“Aw, I missed you, too.”  Sabi ko.

“Thank God, you’re here. There’s this weird guy following me around.”  She said as we release from the hug. 

I laughed.  “Maybe, he’s just a fan.”

“Whatever, he’s creeping me out.”  She shrugged.  “Let’s have lunch. I’m really starving.”

Pumasok kami sa isang restaurant at umorder ng pagkain. Aiko had ordered a clam chowder in a bread bowl while I had lasagna. We had our usual chit-chat but she did most of the talking. I just stayed silent, maybe because I was afraid something would slip out of my mouth. Something like, ‘hey I had sex with your boyfriend because I wanted him to get me pregnant’. This guilt was eating me up inside. I sighed, playing with my food.

“Are you okay?”  Tanong niya sa akin.

No, I feel shit.  I smiled anyway, “Yeah.”

“Are you sure? Kanina ka pa matamlay.”  She asked in a worried tone.

“Okay lang ako, don’t worry about me.”  Sabi ko.

She shrugged her shoulders and went back to eating her food. I got up and excused myself to the ladies’ room. As I was walking back to the table where Aiko was, a hand grabbed me. Hinatak niya ako sa may gilid ng restaurant na nahaharangan ng pader. I was going to scream when he covered my mouth.

“Sshh… It’s just me.”  The sound of his voice scared me even more than I already was. Dahan-dahan niya akong binitawan at iniharap sa kanya. We stared at each other for awhile.  “Andi…”

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to hold back my tears. “Tristan, what are you doing? Nandyan lang si Aiko!”

“Bakit hindi mo sinasagot ang mga tawag at text ko?”  He said, hurt in his voice. 

“Dahil wala naman tayong dapat pag-usapan pa.”  I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking.  “May asawa ako at may girlfriend ka. What we had was just sex.”

  “Shit, Andi! Hindi na kita maintindihan. You keep running hot and cold on me!”  His voice was low but I could tell he was trying his best not to shout.  “If I end it with her now, iiwanan mo ba si Jason, sasama ka ba sa akin?”

I slowly shook my head.  “Mahal ko ang asawa ko.”

The hurt in his eyes lanced through me. Tumalikod na ako sa kanya. I couldn’t bare seeing it. Iniwan ko siya at naglakad pabalik sa kinauupuan namin ni Aiko. Hindi ko alam na nasa likod ko lang pala siya at nakasunod sa akin.

“Hi, baby.”  Tumayo si Aiko sa kinauupuan niya at yumakap kay Tristan. I watched as she hugged him tight. His eyes were fixed on me as he hug her back. I had to look down, trying to ignore the pain in my chest. It seemed so long since the last time I was in his arms.  “I know this was supposed to be our date pero ininvite ko na ang boyfriend ko. I hope you don’t mind.”

“N-not at all.”  I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

Umupo si Tristan sa tabi ni Aiko at ako naman ay sa harap nila.

“I know your secret…”  Aiko said, one corner of her mouth curled slightly up. I suddenly dropped the fork I was holding and looked up at her. I could feel myself pale in shock…  I didn’t know how to react, what to say or what to do. Tumingin ako kay Tristan, halos pareho kami ng reaksyon.

“A-aiko… I-” 

“Oh my god, Miranda!”  She squealed.  “I’m so happy for you!”

“H-ha?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re pregnant!”  She said. I became even more confused. Inilabas niya ang pregnancy test.  “Nahulog kasi yung bag mo kanina and this fell out of your bag.”

“Oh…”  My mind buffered for a few seconds. Wait, what? Buntis ako? Kinuha ko sa kanya ang pregnancy test at tinignan. Two pink lines. Totoo ba ito?

“Congratulations, you’re going to be a mommy.”  Masayang sabi niya.

I felt an urge to cry out of happiness. I couldn’t believe it. I’m pregnant… Then, I remembered that Tristan was there, too. I looked up at him. His eyes were glazed,  nakakunot ang noo niya and he looked spaced out. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. 

“Alam na ba ni Jason?”  Excited na tanong ni Aiko.

“O-of course, siya nga ang unang nakaalam.”  I lied.

“I’m so happy for you, guys.”  Nakangiting sabi ni Aiko. Pinilit ko rin ngumiti. But really, I didn’t know what to feel. My emotions were running wild. 

Tumunog ang phone ni Aiko. She excused herself from the table to answer the call. I felt a sense of panic nang kami lang dalawa ni Tristan ang naiwan sa mesa. Hindi ako mapakali sa kinauupuan ko. I wanted to get up from my seat.

“Andi.”  He called my name and I hesitantly looked at him.  “That baby could possibly be mine.”  He softly said.

“NO!”  Mariin na tanggi ko.  “Kay Jason ito!”

“Paano ka nakakasiguro? We never used protection!”  Tumaas ang boses niya.

“Can you keep your voice down? Baka marinig ka ni Aiko!”  Inis na sabi ko sa kanya.   “Hindi sa’yo itong dinadala ko. Katawan ko ito kaya alam ko!”

“How could you possibly know?”  His eyes narrowed.

“Minsan lang yung nangyari sa atin. My husband and I have sex every night.” 

“Pero may posibilidad pa rin na sa akin yang dinadala mo.”  Sabi niya.   “If that’s really mine, I want to be in my child’s life as his or her father!”

No…

“You know what? Drop it! Ayoko na makipagtalo sa’yo!”   I said giving him a glare. He opened his mouth and was about to say something nang bumalik si Aiko… with Jason.

“Yeah, I know, I still can’t believe I’m going to be a father.”  Narinig kong sabi ni Jason kay Aiko habang palapit sila. I bit my lower lip.

“Your baby daddy is here to pick you up, Miranda.”  Sabi ni Aiko.  

“J-jason…”  I looked up at him from my seat. He smiled at me faintly.

“Ready to go?”  He asked. I nodded my head before taking my bag. I quickly glanced at Tristan who was quietly looking at us. His face was dark and unsmiling. I swung the bag on my shoulder at nagpaalam na kay Aiko.

Tahimik na nagda-drive si Jason at nakaupo ako sa passenger’s seat at nakatanaw sa labas ng bintana. There was an uncomfortable silence between us. I couldn’t read any emotions on his face. Was he mad at me?

  “Um, kumusta ang meeting niyo ni atty. Gutierrez?”  I asked, just to break the unsettling silence between us.

I heard him took a deep breath and sighed.  “Okay naman.”

“Oh…” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  He asked, his voice was calm but cold. Napalingon ako sa kanya.  “Bakit kailangan sa iba ko pa malaman?”

“I didn’t think you would want to know.”  I said quietly.

“Of course, I would want to know. I’m your husband.”  He said.

“I’m sorry, ngayon ko lang din nalaman.” 

There was a short silence and then he sighed again.  “Does he know?”

“Yes, he knows I’m pregnant.”  I answered.

“Does he know he’s the father?” 

“Sinabi ko sa kanyang sa’yo ito…”  I fidgeted with my hands on my lap.  “I’m sorry kinailangan ko lang talaga sabihin sa kanya iyon kasi-”

“Andi, that baby is mine, ok?”  Sabi niya.   “Hindi niya malalaman na sa kanya ang batang dinadala mo.”

“Jason…”

“I’m your husband.”  His hand snaked to mine and he squeezed it.  “Ibibigay ko sa kanya ang pangalan ko, ako ang tatayong ama sa batang dinadala mo. I would treat the child like my own. Totohanin na natin ang pagiging mag-asawa natin.”

Chapter Forty Nine

I took my hand from his.  “Jason, hindi ganun kadali iyon.”

I felt horrible pero ayokong umasa siya sa wala. He was everything a woman could ask for in a man and I’m not close to the possibility that I might fall in love with him. Gusto ko si Jason, I was starting to like him more than a friend but not enough as a lover. But I needed to be sure of how I feel about him, I don’t want to end up hurting him. I didn’t want to be with him and think of another man.

He nodded his head and forced a smile.

“I’m willing to wait until your ready, Andi.”  He said in a sincere, sad voice. “I’ll wait even if it takes years.”  

“Ano ito?”  Harold asked when Jason handed him a folder. 

“It’s just some documents you need to sign to make our partnership official.”  Sagot ni Jason. Harold opened the folder and scanned through the papers. Jason and I exchanged a look and he knew exactly what to do. He cleared his throat and started explaining what was written in the documents para hindi na mabasa pa ni Harold ang buong nilalaman nun. 

I handed him a pen nang matapos magpaliwanag si Jason.  “Here you go, dad.” 

Kinuha ni Harold ang pen mula sa akin at pinirmahan ang mga papel. Jason and I looked at each other and smiled. Akala niya para iyon sa negosyong matagal na nilang pinaguusapan ni Jason. The poor old man didn’t know he was signing his downfall. I’ve waited so long for this and all those years of waiting will finally pay off. Makakaganti na rin ako sa kasalanan nila sa akin at sa anak ko. Suddenly, a small pang of guilt when through me but I tried ignored it. I told myself that he deserved it. Kulang pa nga ito sa kinuha nila sa akin. They took a life away from me.

Harold looked up from the paper after signing it. He smiled at me and for a brief moment, I saw in that smile the man that used to be my hero. The first man I loved before I even knew what love was. The man I used to look up to. The memories stung, I sighed and shook the thought away. He wasn’t my father anymore. He was the devil that killed my baby.

“Ibig sabihin ba nito hindi na kayo babalik sa Amerika?”  Masayang tanong ni Harold. 

“Yes, dad.”  Sumagot si Jason.  “We’re staying here for good. Naisip namin na tama nga kayo, mas makakabuti kung dito na lang kami sa Pilipinas lalo na ngayon na magkaka-baby na kami.”

I saw shock in Harold’s eyes as he stared at me, bumaba ang tingin niya sa tiyan ko.  “You’re… you’re pregnant?”

I slowly nodded my head. His shock turned into a smile. He then got up from his seat to come and hug me. I unconsciously clutched my stomach and stepped back just as he was about to throw his arms around me. I didn’t want him near me or my baby. I knew he couldn’t hurt the baby anymore pero hindi pa rin nawawala ang takot na iyon sa dibdib ko. His smile faded and he put his arms down. His eyes were soft and sad and guilt was written all over his face. Dapat lang makonsensya siya sa ginawa niya noon!

“I’m- I’m so happy for you, Andi.”  Pilit siyang ngumiti.

I tried to force a smile but I was sure it looked fake. Nakarinig kami ng katok mula sa pinto bago pumasok si Olivia sa library. She was holding a tray with three glasses and a pitcher of juice.

“Time for your medicine, old man.”  Olivia chuckled habang ibinaba niya ang tray sa coffee table sa harap ng couch.  “Dinalhan ko rin kayo ng maiinom.”  sabi niya ng humarap siya sa amin.

“We’re going to have a grandchild, Olivia.”  Sabi ni Harold.

Olivia paused for a moment, taking what he said in, before her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.  “Oh my god, Miranda, is that true?”

“Yes…”  Mahinang sagot ko.

“Buntis ka?”  Hindi pa rin makapaniwalang tanong niya. I nodded my head. Ngumiti siya at lumapit para yakapin ako. “My God, I can’t believe I’m going to be a grandmother.” I pulled away from the hug and she looked at me, teary eyed.  Hypocrites. 

“Oh sweety, I know you’ll make a good mom. I’m happy for you.”

“It seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms. Now, our little girl is having a baby.”  Harold said smiling. Napakuyom ang mga palad ko. Gusto kong masuka sa pinapakita nila ngayon. Now, they’re acting like excited grandparents! It made me sick! They were the same people that got rid of my first baby like it was nothing… They told me it was just a piece of lump.  

I felt like I wanted to cry. Jason put his arm around my shoulder, probably sensing it. 

“Thanks for signing the papers, dad.”  Sabi ni Jason. He was already holding the folder in his other hand.

“Young man, take care of my daughter and my grandchild.”  Sabi ni Harold kay Jason. 

Jason nodded his head. “I will, dad.” 

He kissed me on the forehead and I looked up at him. A cruelly cryptic smile playing on his lips. I knew exactly what his smile meant. Now it’s time I get my revenge.

Narinig ko na ang kotse ni Harold sa labas ng mansyon. Kanina ko pa sila hinihintay. Their things were already packed. Pinaayos ko na ang mga gamit nila sa mga maid habang wala sila para pagdating nila dito aalis na lang sila. Ngayon akin na lahat ng kung anong meron si Harold. This mansion, his other houses, his cars, even his bank accounts. Wala akong ititira sa kanila. They’d be leaving here with nothing but their clothes. 

Bumukas ang pinto at nagtatawanan na pumasok si Olivia at Harold. Tignan natin kung makakatawa pa kayo pagkatapos nito. 

“Olivia, Harold…”  I said with a smile. Pareho silang napatingin sa akin, They were both obviously shocked that I called them by their first name.

“A-andi, honey, is their a problem?”  Olivia sounded worried and nervous.

I smirked at her.  “Wala nang problema. I’m getting rid of it.”

“Sweetheart… I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”  Sabi ni Harold.

“Nakita niya yun?”  I pointed at the plastic bag that was sitting on the floor. Yes, that’s where I put all their things. I thought it would be a funny sight to see. The high and mighty Harold and the classy and elegant Olivia Cordova, leaving the mansion with nothing but their clothes in a plastic bag.   “Iyon lahat ang mga damit niya. Kunin niyo na yun at umalis na kayo dito.”

They both looked at me confused.

“Ano’ng ibig sabihin nito, Andi?”  Tanong ni Harold.

“Ang ibig sabihin nito pinapaalis ko na kayo dito.”  I answered.  

“You can’t do that.”  Olivia shook her head.  “Hindi mo kami pwedeng paalisin dito.”

I chuckled.  “I own this mansion now. Harold gave it to me, didn’t you… dad? He also gave me all his properties, his bank accounts and everything he owns.”

“Andi, sweetheart…”  Olivia said in a small, broken voice as her eyes welled up.

Humarap ako kay Harold. “Remember the documents you signed? Transfer of ownership iyon.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.  “Ibig sabihin akin na lahat ng pagmamay-ari mo.”

He still didn’t say anything. I could feel his distress, his fear but he kept a stone cold expression as a way to make it seem like he wasn’t upset. He was too proud to let any emotion show.

“You were stupid to trust me, Harold! Did you really think I could just forget about it when I came back?”  My voice raised in anger.  “You killed my child, you monster!” 

Harold turned his head to look away, hurt and guilt washed through his face.

“No, don’t you dare look away! Look at me!”  I grabbed him by the jaw and made sure he looked me in the face.  “You disgust me and I will never forgive you for what you have done!”   My voice cracked at the end.

“Andi, sweety, tama na.”  Pakiusap ni Olivia. 

I shot her a glare.  “Isa ka pa! You’re a selfish, narcissistic, manipulative bitch! You don’t deserve to be called a mother!”   

“Andi, I’m so sorry…”  She said in a tear-clogged voice.

“Sorry?”  I chuckled sarcastically.  “You’re sorry won’t change anything, you muderer.”

“What is happening here?”  Tanong ni Jason pagpasok niya sa mansyon. Agad na lumapit si Olivia sa kanya. 

“Oh God, buti na lang dumating ka. Pinapaalis na kami ni Andi. Please, help us, Jason.”  Sabi ni Olivia. He looked at me and smiled grimly.

“Oh, shall I assist you out, then?”  Jason said with a mocking tone. Olivia started shaking her head in complete shock.

“Hindi na kailangan. Aalis na kami dito.”  Harold finally spoke in a hard voice. He glanced at me with his sad icy eyes before he walked to the door and left. Agad na sumunod sa kanya si Olivia. I gazed down as I felt my face softened and tears began pouring out of my eyes uncontrollably.

“Andi…”  Lumapit sa akin si Jason at mabilis akong lumayo sa kanya. I didn’t want him to see me cry. God, why was I crying? I should be happy dahil nakaganti na ako sa kanila.

“It’s… it’s just hormones.”  Sabi ko bago tumakbo paakyat sa kwarto ko. I heard him calling my name but I ignored it.

I went to the bookshelf and took out the book I used to always read to my little angel on my first pregnancy. It was a children’s book that I love when I was a kid. Ito lang ang natitirang alaala niya sa akin. They probably threw the fetus in the garbage like some trash after taking it out of my body. Hot, angry tears flew down my cheek as I clutch the book to my chest. I fell to my knees and started sobbing. 

I got the revenge my little angel deserved.

I didn’t know Jason followed me to my room. I only realized he was there when he pulled me into his arms.

“Jason…” 

“Shh… it’s okay. Cry all you want.”  He whispered. And I did, I cried against his chest while he comforted me.  

Tristan’s POV

It had been days but I still couldn’t stop thinking about Andi and the baby she was carrying. Pwedeng akin ang batang dinadala niya. How I wish it was mine and not Jason’s. Andi and I had sex and we didn’t use protection. Kahit na minsan lang iyon nangyari, kahit maliit ang posibilidad… hindi iyon imposible. I was holding on to that little possibility.

Kung akin nga ang bata gusto kong maging parte ng buhay niya. Hindi ko hahayaan na lumaki siya na iba ang kinikilalang ama. Gusto kong maging parte ako sa buhay ng anak ko bilang ama niya. Pero paano ko malalaman na akin nga iyon?

I was deep in my thought when my phone started to rang. I picked it up and saw Aiko’s name on the screen. Sinagot ko iyon.

“Hello?” 

“Tristan, pwede ba tayong magkita ngayon?”  Her tone of voice was serious. 

“Ngayon na?”  I asked. She knew I was at the office right now.  Kapag alam niyang nasa opisina ako hindi naman niya ako tinatawagan at bigla-bigla na lang makikipagkita sa akin. Mukhang importante ang sasabihin niya. 

“Yes, now.”  She answered. Sinabi niya sa akin ang lugar kung saan kami magkikita. We decided to meet at a restaurant near the office.

Agad ko siyang nakita nang pumasok ako sa restaurant. She was sitting at a table next to a window but she wasn’t alone, she was with two other people. Nakatalikod ang dalawa pang kasama niya mula sa kinatatayuan ko.  

“Hey.”  Lumapit ako sa mesa kung saan sila nakaupo. Aiko got up from her seat and gave me a quick peck on the lips. Tumingin sa akin ang mga kasama niya at agad ko silang nakilala. Sila ang mga magulang ni Andi. 

“Hi, baby. I don’t know if you’ve met them but this is Olivia and Harold. They’re Andi’s parents.”  Sabi ni Aiko.

 I politely nodded my head and smiled.  “Good afternoon.”

Hindi kumibo si Harold and Olivia answered with a forced smile. I didn’t understand what was going on? Why were they here? They weren’t the kind of people Aiko would hang out with. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba ng maisip ko si Andi at ang bata. May kinalaman ba ito sa kanila? I was hoping and praying na sana walang masamang nangyari sa kanila.

 Pareho kaming umupo ni Aiko sa silya sa harap ng mga magulang ni Andi.

“Naisip kong tawagan ka kasi ikaw lang naman ang kilala kong makakatulong sa kanila.” S abi ni Aiko.

My brows furrowed in confusion. Why would they want help from me? 

“Ano bang maitutulong ko?”  Tanong ko.

“

Pupuntahan ko dapat si Andi kanina para bisitahin pero nakita ko silang dalawa sa labas ng mansion. I found out na pinalayas sila ni Andi sa sarili nilang bahay. 

Andi tricked his dad into signing transfer of ownership papers kaya lahat ng ari-arian ni Mr. Cordova sa kanya na napunta.“  Sabi ni Aiko. I couldn’t believe what I just heard. Hindi ako makapaniwalang magagawa ni Andi iyon. Why would Andi do that to her own parents? 

“Wala kaming pera at wala kaming matutuluyan ngayon. I don’t know what will happen to us.”  Naiiyak na sabi ng ginang. Aiko took her hand and tried to comfort her.

“I could call Phoenix and-”  Ang akala ko gusto nilang kausapin ko si Phoenix para tulungan sila.  

“No!”  Mariin na sabi ng ama ni Andi.  “Ayokong malaman ng mga Cordova ito…”  He took a deep breath before looking down and shaking his head.  “Forget it. Salamat na lang sa tulong niyo.”  Tatayo na sana si Harold sa kinauupuan niya ng hawakan siya ni Olivia sa kamay upang pigilan.

“Mr. Cordova, please don’t go.”  Pakiusap ni Aiko.

“Harold, wala na tayong mapupuntahan.”  Pakiusap ni Olivia.  “Kalimutan mo muna yang pride na yan.”

“It has nothing to do with pride, Olivia. Ayokong malaman nila ito dahil ayokong magalit sila kay Andi. Ayokong isipin nilang masama si Andi dahil alam natin pareho na hindi totoo iyon. Hindi masama ang anak ko. This is all my fault. Kasalanan ko kung bakit nagkaganun si Andi. “  Sabi ni Harold. 

“But Harold…”  Olivia’s voice weakened. She was slowly letting go of his arm. I knew I couldn’t just sit there and watch them leave. Wala silang matutuluyan. They didn’t have any money and they didn’t have any place to stay.  Harold was just too dignified to ask anyone for help. Siguro nga mas pipiliin niya pang matulog sa kalsada at mamatay sa gutom kaysa ang humingi ng tulong.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cordova, I have an extra room at my place. You’re welcome to stay there if you want.” I politely offered.

“Ito ang magiging kwarto niyo.”  Binuksan ko ang pinto sa guest room at ipinakita sa kanila ang kwarto. I have this room regularly cleaned even though no one sleeps in here. Buti na lang nalinis ito ng housekeeper noong isang araw. 

“Salamat.”  Sabi ni Olivia. I answered her with a smile.

I glanced at Harold, wala pa rin itong imik. He nodded to me. A thank you, I guess. Still no emotion in his aristoctaric looking face. 

“I’ll leave you two alone. If you need anything I’ll be in the library.” 

Tumalikod na ako para pumunta sa library. Alam kong hindi na naman ako makakatulog ngayon gabi kaya dinadala ko na ang trabaho ko sa bahay. I’ve been burying myself with work so I won’t have anytime to think about anything else. Ayokong isipin si Andi at ang ipinagbubuntis niya. I think I’d just go crazy.

I sighed as I sat in front of my computer screen. Everything’s just crazy right now. I couldn’t believe I would be living under the same roof with Andi’s parents. Hindi rin ako makapaniwala na magagawang palayasin ni Andi ang mga magulang niya. That was not the Andi I knew. I sighed again. Hindi ko na nga pala siya kilala. Ibang tao na siya. Pero yung narinig ko kanina sa restaurant na sabi ni Harold siya ang may kasalanan kung bakit nagkaganun si Andi. It never left my mind. Did he really do something that bad to make her hate them so much?  It was so frustrating to have all these questions inside my head and not be able to ask them.

I heard a knock on my door. 

“Come in.”  Sabi ko. Bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si Olivia na may dalang tasa. Lumapit siya sa akin at ibinaba iyon sa harap ko.

“I made you a coffee.”  Sabi niya. “I  went ahead and used your kitchen, I hope you don’t mind.” 

“Thank you but you don’t need to do this, ma’am.”  Sabi ko. 

“Just call me Olivia.”  She said with a warm smile.

“Thank you, Olivia.”  Sabi ko.

“I, um, just want to apologize for everything that happened in the past. The way we treated you. 

Hindi ko akalain na sa dinami-rami ng tao sa mundo, ikaw pa ang tutulong sa amin. Pambihira talaga ang tadhana.“ Her eyes were soft and sad but she forced a smile on her face.  “I didn’t want you for Andi because you were poor. I judged you even before I got to know you. I was wrong about you. I’m so sorry, Tristan.”

I smiled at her. “You don’t need to apologize. Naiintindihan kita, you only wanted the best for her. Let’s just leave it in the past where it belongs.”

Chapter Fifty

“That’s the sac that carries your baby.”  The doctor moved the probe around looking for a good angle. My eyes were glued on the monitor. It showed nothing but a circle on a grainy black and white screen but that was enough to make me smile.  “At itong maliit na spot na ito.”   She pointed at the tiny dot in the middle of the circle.  “Ito ang baby mo. Masyado pang maliit ang baby para makita natin pero siguro sa susunod na appointment mo makikita na din natin siya.”

I could feel my eyes water. That was my baby, I really was going to be a mother. I’d never felt this genuinely happy for a long time. I wished I had someone to share this feeling with. Bigla pumasok sa isip ko si Tristan. I felt a tinge of sadness, a part of me kind of wished he was here to see our baby. I quickly brushed it off. I don’t need him, my baby doesn’t need him either. Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko.  It’ll be just you and mommy, honey.

The doctor took the probe out of it me. She said I was almost 5 weeks pregnant from the size of the sac. Wala naman daw siyang nakitang problema. I was already excited for my belly to grow bigger and feel the baby move inside me.

“How was your appointment with the doctor?”  Tanong ni Jason pag-uwi ko. He was sitting on the living room couch when I got home.

“It was great.”  Masayang sabi ko sa kanya. I sat down next to him. I guess I was just so excited to share it with someone. “Sabi ng doktor five weeks na daw siya. I have some ultrasound photos, do you want to see it?”

He smiled and nodded his head.  “Sure.”

I reached into my bag and took out the photos. Inabot ko iyon sa kanya. His brows furrowed as he looked at the pictures. 

“Where’s the baby?”  He asked.

I giggled.  “It’s in the sac, the baby is still too small to be seen. My next appointment I get to see my baby.”

“I’m sure it will be a beautiful baby, just like the mother.”  He said with a big smile on his face.  “If it’s a boy, it’ll be as handsome as me.”

What he said made me pause. I tried to imagine what would it be like to hear those words from Tristan. Siya ang ama nitong dinadala ko. Hindi ko paaakuin kay Jason ang anak namin ni Tristan. Jason told me he wanted the baby to have his name ngunit hindi ako pumayag. I would raise this baby alone. 

The doorbell saved us from the awkward silence.

“I’ll get it.”  I said as I stood up. I opened the door and it was Aiko. I’ve been ignoring her calls and avoiding her. I didn’t want her to confront me and I knew she would. Alam niyang pinalayas ko si Olivia at Harold dito sa mansyon.  

Tristan’s POV

It was a rough day today. I had a meeting with a big investor today and Phoenix only came at the last minute. Kapapanganak lang kasi ni Cassie kaya hindi niya maiwan agad ang asawa niya. Masaya niyang ibinalita kanina sa akin na nagsilang si Cassie nang isang babae at isang lalaki. Sabi ko sa kanya na bibisita na lang ako kapag nakalabas na sila sa ospital. Ayoko muna silang istorbohin dahil alam kong kailangan magpahinga ni Cassie mula sa panganganak

Phoenix was nothing short of a proud father. Habang nagkukuwento sa akin si Phoenix tungkol sa anak nila ni Cassie, isa lang ang pumasok sa isip ko, si Andi at ang batang dinadala niya. If the child was really mine gusto ko rin maranasan ang mga naranasan ni Phoenix. I want to be by her side all through her pregnancy and watch our baby grow inside of her, I want to be there when Andi gives birth to our child, I want to know what it feels like to hold our baby for the first time.  Ayokong si Jason ang makaranas lahat nun sa sarili kong anak. It felt like a hard blow to the chest, it hurts so much just to think about.

The house was quiet when I got home. Siguro nagpapahinga na ang mag-asawa sa kwarto nila. Si Olivia lang ang madalas kong makausap dahil palaging nakakulong si Harold sa kwarto. Olivia and I were getting along fine, she even insisted on doing the house chores para daw makabayad sila sa pagpapatuloy ko sa kanila dito but I didn’t let her. May pumupunta naman housekeeper dito araw-araw para maglinis. I tried to reach out to Harold but he was always cold and distant.

Binuksan ko ang pinto sa library at nakita ko si Harold na nakatayo sa tapat ng isang bookshelf.

“Pasensya na at nakialam ako dito.”  He said, sounding like a kid caught with his hand on the cookie jar.  “Nababagot na kasi ako kaya naisip kong tumingin nang mababasa dito.”

I gave him a smile.  “Pwede ka naman tumingin at kumuha nang libro dito kahit kailan mo gusto.”

He quickly took out a book and headed to the door. Bago pa siya makalabas nang library napahinto siya sa harap ng isang malaking larawan. It was a picture of Andi hanging on the wall. Sa larawan, nakadapa siya sa kama at natutulog. She was covered with a sheet from the waist down with only her naked back was showing. Natatamaan nang sinag nang araw mula sa bintana ang hubad na likod niya at ang mukha niya habang nakayakap siya sa puting unan sa tabi niya. It gave her a heavenly glow. She looked like a sleeping angel that fell from her cloud bed in heaven, captivating in her natural beauty. 

“Is that my Andi?”  He asked, not looking away from the picture. 

“Yes.”  I answered reluctantly.  “I took that picture three years ago.”

“It’s beautiful.”  Nagulat ako nang sabihin niya iyon.

“She is beautiful.”  Sabi ko bago lumapit sa kanya at tumayo sa tabi niya. Hindi ko napigilan ang  mapatingin din sa larawan.

“You know, I hate you.”  He said. I was caught off guard once again. I didn’t know how to respond to that. It was no secret that he hated me. Muntik niya na nga akong mapatay noon nang mahuli nila kami ni Andi sa mansyon. But I just didn’t expect to hear that from him.  “You took my baby girl from me. She was just a shy, timid girl before she met you. You made her a woman.”

I turned my head to him. A bittersweet smile touched his lips.  “You came and I was no longer the only man in my daughter’s life. Dumating pa nga sa puntong mas pinili ka niya kaysa sa amin. My daughter really loved you.”

“I know…”  Mahinang sagot ko.  “I loved her too, more than my own life. I still do.” 

Hindi siya nagsalita. The longer the silent grew, the more I felt the need to explain to him.

“You probably don’t believe me dahil sa nagawa ko noon sa kanya. Hindi kita masisisi, hindi rin siya naniniwala sa akin. Nagawa ko siyang ibalik sa inyo hindi dahil hindi ko na siya mahal. I’ve done things I’m not proud of in desperate times. I used to be a male escort and I had an affair with a politician’s wife.”  I felt uncomfortable telling this to Harold but I felt like I had to. I looked at him to see his reaction but he didn’t seem disgusted, shocked, or surprised at the least. Tumingin siya sa akin na tila ba naghihintay na magsalita ulit ako.  “Nang makapagtapos ako sa pag-aaral, tumigil na ako sa ganung trabaho. Hindi ko itinago ang nakaraan ko kay Andi. She knows everything about my past. Noong nawalan ako ng trabaho nagkataon naman na nagkasakit si Andi at kinailangan ko siyang dalhin sa ospital. Wala na kaming pera kaya napilitan akong lumapit sa kanya. I guess her husband found out dahil pagkatapos nun may mga lalaking humabol sa amin. Lumipat kami sa ibang lugar pero nasundan pa rin nila kami.”

The memories made me tear up a little bit.  “Natakot ako na baka may gawin silang masama kay Andi. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something bad happened to her. I felt so helpless because there was nothing I could do, I couldn’t protect her. Ibinalik ko siya sa inyo dahil alam kong mas ligtas siya doon.”

He dropped his gaze to the ground.  “Tristan, malaki ang kasalanan ko sa iyo… sa inyo ng anak ko. 

I sent those men to get you. Ginawa ko iyon dahil gusto kong bumalik sa amin si Andi.“  Sabi ni Harold. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. Siya ang nagtangkak magpapatay sa akin? 

“Buntis si Andi nang iwan mo siya sa amin, alam mo ba iyon?”  Nagsimula ulit siyang magsalita nang hindi ako kumibo. This was all too much for me to take in and process. My head felt like it was going to explode. I felt numb.

“May… may anak kami?”  I asked, my voice shaking. Harold shook his head and I cursed quietly. Bumalik sa isip ko lahat ng sinabi at ginawa ko kay Andi bago ko siya ibalik sa mga magulang niya. Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko kapag nalaman kong ako ang dahilan kaya nawala ang anak namin.  “What happened to our baby?”

Matagal siyang hindi sumagot. I felt like my heart stopped beating.  “Harold?”  I demanded, my voice stronger this time.

“I had the baby aborted against her will.”  His voice cracked at the end. Tears started flowing from his eyes.  “Galit sa akin si Andi dahil ako ang pumatay sa anak niyo. I’m so sorry.”

I closed my eyes tightly and I could feel tears running down my cheeks. When I opened my eyes, I saw red. No words could describe the pain, guilt and anger I feel right now. I wanted to kill him so bad that I could feel the itch in my fingertips. I took him by the collar and shook him.  “You son of a bitch!”  Rage filled me as I slammed him to the wall.  “Mapapatawad ko pa ang ginawa mo sa akin pero hinding hindi ko mapapatawad ang ginawa mo sa anak ko at kay Andi.” 

I held my fist up and got ready to punch him straight in the face. The old man shut his eyes and looked away. He flinched when my fist landed on the wall beside him, it made a huge crack. I couldn’t do it. He was weak and helpless. If I did it, I’d be as low as him. Dahan-dahan ko siyang binitawan at napaurong ako palayo sa kanya. He fell to the ground sobbing.

“Ano’ng klase kang tao?”  I said, still shaking with anger. 

“Pinagsisisihan ko na ang ginawa ko. Patawarin niyo ako.”  Umiiyak na sabi niya.

“Walang kapatawaran ang ginawa mo.”  Sabi ko bago tumalikod sa kanya at nagmamadaling lumabas. I needed to talk to Andi. I couldn’t help but blame myself. Kung hindi ko siya binalik sa kanila hindi mawawala ang anak namin. Kasalanan ko ang lahat ng ito. 

I let out a few tears as I drove. Nang marating ko ang mansyon, ang malaking gate ang humarang sa akin. I got out of my car and yelled for Andi. I knew I was going berserk but I didn’t care. Right now, I’m ready to kill anyone who stands in my way to her. I shook the gate, trying to open it but to no avail.

Nag-isip ako ng ibang paraan. I got back in my car.

“Goddammit!”  I yelled before stepping on the gas and hitting the gate. Nang hindi pa rin iyon bumukas, inatras ko ang kotse at inulit iyon. The gate finally broke open. Pinaharurot ko ang sasakyan papasok.

Nakita kong lumabas si Jason mula sa pinto. Bumaba ako sa kotse at mabilis akong hinarang ni Jason bago pa ako makapasok sa mansyon. 

“What the hell is your problem?”  Galit na sabi ni Jason. 

“Kailangan kong makausap si Andi!”  Sabi ko. I tried to get in but he stopped me. 

“Hindi mo ba kami titigilan, ha?”  He tried to shove me away. Nagpilit pa rin akong pumasok. When he blocked me again I punched in the face and knocked him to the ground. He got up and tackled me. He tried to punch me but I blocked it and punched him as hard as I could, letting all my anger out on him. He threw back a few punches and kicks too.

“Ano’ng nangyayari-”  Lumabas si Andi at natigilan siya nang makita ako.  “Tristan… what are you doing?”

He grabbed the back of my shirt at itinulak akong palayo. Umupo siya sa tabi ni Jason. It somehow hurt seeing her worried about him. 

“Jason, are you alright?”  Inunan niya ang ulo nito sa hita niya. He nodded as an answer. Andi looked up and glared at me.  “Umalis ka na dito.”  She said in a hard steel like tone. Inalalayan niyang tumayo si Jason.

“Andi, alam ko na ang lahat. Alam ko na ang ginawa sa’yo ni Harold at sa anak natin.”  I choked on my sob. I raked my fingers through my hair out of frustration.  “Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?”

“May mababago ba pag sinabi ko sa’yo? Mababalik ba nun ang buhay ng anak ko?”  She said in an angry, shaky voice. “

Kung ano man ang meron tayo noon, tapos na iyon…“

“Hindi pa tapos iyon hangga’t hindi natin iyon napapag-usapan. Makinig ka naman sa akin kahit ngayon lang.”  I said, desperately.  “Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa’yo na hindi ko gustong iwan ka sa magulang mo. Ginawa ko iyon para sa kapakanan mo. Ano bang kailangan kong gawin o sabihin para maniwala ka sa akin?”

“Huwag mo na kaming guluhin.”  Sabi ni Jason.  “Magkakapamilya na kami.”

“That baby she’s carrying could me mine.”  I growled. Tumingin ako kay Andi.  “Sabihin mo sa asawa mo ang totoo. Tell him that you slept with me, Andi! Hindi lang isang beses…”

“You cheater!”  Biglang sumulpot si Aiko. She lashed out on me and started hitting me on the chest with her fist.  “Manloloko kayo… Pinagloloko niyo ako!”

“Aiko…”  Narinig kong tawag ni Andi.

“Whore!”  Lumingon si Aiko kay Andi. She was about to grab her hair ngunit mabilis kong napigilan. Hinarang naman ni Jason ang sarili kay Andi.  “Mga manloloko kayo. Akala ko kaibigan kita!”  She harshly pulled her hand away from my grip.

“Aiko, I’m sorry.”  Andi’s voice cracked.

“Ipinagkatiwala ko siya sa’yo, ikaw pa pala ang aahas sa boyfriend ko!

Kung malalaman nang anak mo kung anong klaseng babae ang ina niya, I’m sure that baby would rather die than have a whore for a mother.“  She furiously wiped the tears out of her eyes.

“Tama na, Aiko…”  Mahinang sabi ko sa kanya

“Aiko,  I’m so, so sorry.”  Naluluhang sabi ni Andi.

“Tama na?”  She faced me again and slapped me in the face.  “Kulang pa ito sa panloloko niyo sa akin.” 

Tumalikod na si Aiko at galit na umalis. I didn’t know if I should go after her or stay. 

Andi shot me a glare. 

“Andi, please… mag-usap tayo.”  I said with desperation in my voice. She ignored me, inalalayan niyang papasok si Jason at pabagsak na isinara ang pinto.

Chapter Fifty One

It had been three days since what happened at the mansion and I found myself standing at Aiko’s door. Ngayon lang ako nakapag-ipon ng lakas ng loob para makausap siya. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say but I planned on just being honest. Ipagtatapat ko sa kanya ang lahat lahat tungkol sa amin ni Tristan. 

I took a deep breath before pressing the doorbell. I gathered every courage I had for this moment. I knew I needed to fix this. It took awhile before Aiko opened the door. There was a blank expression on her face when she saw me.

 

“What are you doing here?” She asked in a stiff voice.

 

I had to swallow past a dry throat to get my voice out. “W-we need to talk.”

“We have nothing to talk about. Narinig ko na ang lahat ng dapat kong marinig.” She was about to close the door when I blocked it.

 

“Please?” I begged.

She sighed and rolled her eyes before opening the door wider. Aiko turned her back on me and walked inside. I noticed the opened luggage on the floor at the living room and it was already half filled with clothes. 

 

 “Aalis ka na?” I asked.

 

“I’m going back to LA.” She said before crossing her arms over her chest. “Now, talk.”

 

 “I’m sorry for hurting you. Hindi ko sinasadya…” I said in a small voice. 

 

“Hindi mo sinasadya?” A mocking smirk appeared on her lips. “Did you just accidentally sat on his dick and made him come?”

 

“No…” I shook my head. “Hindi ko sinasadyang pati ikaw madamay dito. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

 

“But you already did.” She said with a hard edge on her voice. 

 

“Hindi ko na kayo guguluhin ni Tristan. I promise.”

 

“Huwag mo na akong gawin tanga. Tristan never loved me. It was always you, only you.” Her voice started to crack. “I’m not stupid, Miranda. Hindi rin ako manhid. I can see it in the way he looks at you, the way he talks to you, the way his face lits up everytime I mention your name. I just chose to turn a blind eye because I loved him.”

 

I took a deep breath, trying to fight my tears. “I should’ve told you this noon pa. Tristan was my first love. Three years ago, I ran away with him because I didn’t want to marry Jason. I got pregnant with his child but before I could tell him ibinalik niya ako kay Olivia at Harold. He left me for another woman, he discarded me like a piece of trash.” I didn’t know when I started crying but I was already sobbing when I realized that. “ Harold still wanted me to marry Jason, he forced me to have an abortion. Hindi ako pumayag so they drugged me and aborted my baby.“

 

 

It was too painful just to tell the story. It was more than just remembering, it felt like I was reliving that nightmare all over again, a nightmare I had to live with everyday of my life. 

There was a long silence between us bago siya nagsalita ulit.

“At gusto mong makaganti sa kanila kaya sinasaktan mo sila?”  She asked.

I nodded my head.

“Masaya ka na ba ngayon? You finally got what you wanted. Nasaktan mo si Harold, si Olivia at si Tristan.” 

I paused for awhile and I found myself asking the same question. Was I happy ngayon nakaganti na ako sa kanila? I thought I would be but I wasn’t. It didn’t make any difference. I was still miserable.

“I pity you, Miranda. You’re living a life of anger and bitterness.”  Sabi niya.  “Kahit ano pang gawin mo, kahit saktan mo pa sila ng saktan hindi mo na mababago ang nangyari. You have to forgive them for yourself and move on.”

 

“Hi, cutie.”  I played with Nicholas’ tiny hand. I was thinking about what Aiko said… about forgiving. I didn’t know if I could do it. 

I snapped out of my thought when the baby reached out and grasped my finger. Nicholas looked alot like Phoenix, he had the same hazel eyes as his dad, the same nose and the same lips. Just a few more months and I’ll have my own baby too. It made me wonder what mine would look like. Will he or she look more like me or Tristan? Or maybe a beautiful mix of us. Sabik na sabik na akong makita siya. 

I looked up at Phoenix, he was sitting on the rocking chair looking out the window with Audrey in his arms.

“Any news about Cassie?”  I couldn’t help but ask. Bigla na lang naglaho na parang bula si Cassie pagkatapos niyang manganak. Ni hindi nga niya hinintay na makalabas ng ospital She stole five million pesos from Phoenix and ran away with her lover.

“Don’t ever mention that whore’s name in front of my children.”  Nagtagis ang mga bagang niya.

“And don’t ever use that language in front of them.”  I rolled my eyes at him. 

Phoenix inhaled and exhaled deeply and then he kissed his daughter’s forehead.  He really loved Cassie. Unlucky for him, Cassie only loved his money. Bakit ba ang malas namin sa mga taong minamahal namin? Tinuon ko na lang ulit ang atensyon ko kay Nicholas. 

I decided to stop at a restaurant before heading home. I parked my car on an empty space in front of it. Bumaba ako ng kotse at mula sa bintana ng restaurant nakita ko ang pamilyar na mukha. It was Tristan and he was with a woman. Namukhaan ko agad ang babaeng kasama niya. How could I forget the face of the woman who ruined our relationship? That homewrecker! Tumalikod ako para bumalik sa kotse pero agad nagbago ang isip ko.

I went inside the restaurant and walked straight to their table. 

“Andi!”  Tristan looked surprised when he saw me. 

I glared at him.  “My god, you still whore yourself out to this slut? How much does she pay you everytime you fuck her?” 

Everyone started turning their heads to our direction.

“Excuse me?!”  She said in shock as her brows furrowed.

“Andi, it’s not what you think.”  Sabi ni Tristan.  “Val is my-”

“Your sugar mama. Sa kanya nanggaling ang lahat ng meron ka ngayon, hindi ba?”  Tumingin ako kay Valerie.  “What will you give him next? Another condo unit, a brand new car?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Sabi ni Valerie.

I took the glass of water on the table and splashed it on her pretty face. She gasped at the shock of it.  “Now, do you know what I’m talking about, you homewrecking skank?”

“How dare you?”  She stood from her seat, ready to attack me. Tumayo si Tristan at pumagitna sa aming dalawa.

“Val, please… She’s pregnant.”  Pigil niya kay Valerie. She glowered at me and harshly wiped her face with a napkin. I turned and started to walk away. It hurts to see him with the woman who ruined our relationship. He grabbed my wrist to try to stop me.  “Makinig ka sa akin. You need to believe me that there is nothing going on between me and Valerie, there never was.”

I yanked my hand back and slapped him across the face.  “Don’t ever touch me again. Nandidiri ako sa’yo!”

“Andi, please, Let me explain.”  He said blocking my way. I tried to push him but he wouldn’t budge. 

“Get out of my way, damn you!”  I started punching him on the chest and he hugged me. 

“Wala kaming naging relasyon ni Valerie.”  He whispered.  “Hindi kita ipinagpalit sa kahit sino o ano. Ikaw lang ang minahal ko.”

“Stop lying! You never loved me. Sarili mo lang ang minahal mo. I needed you more than anything and you got rid of me so you could have the life you wanted! You got your dream while I’m stuck with the reality!”

The painful memories came back like a bullet train hitting me in the heart and head. I felt my heart constricted in my chest and that horrible lump in my throat telling me I wanted to cry but I was holding it back. I stopped when I felt a sharp pain on my stomach. Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko. I took a deep breath to try to ease the pain but the pain only got worse. Then I felt my panties dampen. My legs felt weak at napahawak ako sa upuan sa tabi ko.

“Andi!”  Tristan grabbed me by the waist. 

I felt a warm stream of liquid ran down my thigh and I started to panic.  “Oh god, my baby!”

“Shit!”  Narinig kong sabi ni Tristan bago niya ako binuhat. Nagmamadaling inilabas niya ako sa restaurant and Valerie was already right behind us. He brought me to his car. Valerie opened the backseat door and Tristan laid me down. I was a panicking mess. God, I couldn’t bear if I lose another baby. No, please God, no.

“Mahal ko, please calm down…”  He kissed me on the forehead.   

“This is all your fault! I hate you!”  I sobbed. I saw pain flicked through his eyes. Agad siyang tumalikod sa akin a humarap kay Valerie.

“I’ll drive and you sit in the back with Andi, okay?”  I heard him say. Pumasok si Valerie sa kotse at umupo sa tabi ko. Tristan ran to the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel. He quickly started the car and drove off.

“I can’t lose another baby. I can’t…”  I hysterically cried. 

“You won’t. Relax, Andi. Stress will only do worse.”  Valerie stroked her hand through my hair, trying to calm me down. After just a few minutes, the car stopped in front of the hospital and he carried me to the emergency room.

“I hate you! I hate you!” I started slapping his chest with with every strength left in me as I cry even harder. “Put me down! I don’t want you near me! Ikaw ang may kasalanan nito!”

He didn’t say a word. I looked up to his face to see tears falling. The was the last thing I saw before everything went black.

I woke up disoriented an confused. I was in an unfamiliar white room. I gazed around and saw Valerie sitting on the couch on with Phoenix. Nagbalik sa isip ko ang nangyari bago ako nawalan ng malay. I felt panic rise up inside me again. 

“My baby!”  Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko. Lumingon silang dalawa sa akin.  “I-is my baby alright?”

Lumapit si Phoenix sa tabi ko.  “Calm down, the baby is fine. Malakas ang kapit ng bata.”

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag sa narinig ko. I was so scared, I thought I lost my baby. Thank God, walang nangyari sa kanya. I wouldn’t be able to take it kapag may nangyari sa kanya. 

“W-what happened? Why did I bleed?” 

“You had threatened miscarriage.”  Valerie answered before Phoenix could.

“Why are you still here?”  I said in a cold tone. Gusto ko siyang sugurin but I knew I was too weak. 

“Andi, mali ka ng iniisip mo.”  She got up from her seat at lumapit sa akin. Then she sat on the chair next to my bed.  “Nagsasabi ng totoo si Tristan, wala kaming relasyon. He’s my brother.”

Did she really expect me to believe that? 

“Huwag mo nga akong pinagloloko.”  I said. I wanted to slap her across the face but I had to keep calm for the sake of the baby in my womb.  “You can have him! He’s all yours. Pero please lang huwag na kayong magpapakita sa akin. Maawa naman kayo sa batang dinadala.”

“She’s telling the truth, Andi.”  Singit ni Phoenix. 

“Pati ba naman ikaw?”  I said, almost in tears. I didn’t know what to believe at that moment. I felt like it was some kind of a sick joke they were playing on me.  

“I know it’s hard to believe but she’s telling the truth.”  Phoenix said.

“I think you need to see this.”  Valerie handed me a brown envelope. I looked at it for a second before hesitantly taking it. 

“Open it.”  She said and I did. There were pictures and medical documents inside. Isa-isa kong tinignan iyon.   

My heart sank to my stomach when I saw the pictures.  “Oh God!”  I said in a choked up voice. I could hardly recognize the man in the picture but I knew it was Tristan. His face was all black and blue and he had bruises everywhere.

“What happened to him?”  I looked up to them, my eyes watering.  

“He was beaten up and went into a coma for two months.”  Sabi ni Phoenix. 

“Oh my god!”  I threw my hands to my mouth. 

“Nasundan kayo ng mga lalaking humahabol sa inyo noon. Noong araw na hindi siya nakauwi sa iyo, we were chased by those men. Nang maligaw namin sila bumalik na kami sa hacienda. Sinabi ko naman sa kanya na tutulungan ko kayo pero kinabukasan umalis na kayo.”  Sabi ni Valerie. “He was scared for your safety. Sinabi niya iyon sa akin. Sinabi niya na hindi niya alam ang gagawin niya kapag may nangyaring masama sa iyo kaya siguro iniwan ka niya sa mga magulang mo.”

My tears fell on the picture I was holding.

“Pinahanap kayo ni daddy pero ng  mahanap na namin siya he was already in coma. Yung mga lalaki din iyon ang nagtangka sa buhay niya. Dad started digging through his life and found out he grew up in an orphanage. Sabi ng babaeng nag-iwan sa kanya sa orphanage when he was only 2 years old, nakita nila sa likod ng truck nila si Tristan. Galing sila sa probinsya namin at pumunta sila dito sa Manila para magsupply ng mga gulay. They didn’t know how he got there and where he came from so they decided to leave him at the orphanage. Doon na nagkahinala si dad na Tristan could possibly be my lost brother. Nang ipa-DNA siya ni dad we found out he really is my brother. Hindi kami nagkaroon ng relasyon ni Tristan. Hindi ka niya ipinagpalit para sa akin. Maybe I did like him noong una pero siguro dahil nararamdaman ko noon pa lang na magkapatid kami.”

I bit my lower lip to keep myself from sobbing. My poor Tristan. I thought the worst of him. I was so wrong. 

Tristan’s POV

This is all your fault. I hate you.

The words kept shouting loudly over and over in my head like a broken record. Ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit nawala ang unang anak namin. Dahil din sa akin, nandito ngayon sa ospital si Andi. I hoped and wished she and the baby was safe. Hindi niya ako mapapatawad kapag may nangyari sa bata at hinding-hindi ko din mapapatawad ang sarili ko.

Andi had been in the ER for almost an hour now. I found myself going to the chapel and getting on my knees to pray to God, any God there was. I wasn’t a religious person but I prayed harder than I ever had. 

Tinanggap ko lahat ng pagsubok na ibinigay mo. Hindi ako umangal, hindi ako nagreklamo. Ngayon lang ako hihiling sa’yo. Don’t take away our child. Please, not our baby. Ako na lang, huwag ang anak ko.

I didn’t realize I was already crying. Deep down I always knew that baby was mine. I just knew. Maybe this was karma dahil sa panloloko namin kay Jason at kay Aiko. Mabuhay lang ang bata hahayaan ko na sila kay Jason. Hinding hindi ko na sila guguluhin. Hahayaan ko na siyang tumayo na ama ng bata kahit masakit para sa akin. Please, just let the baby live.  

Nang makalabas ako sa chapel, nakita kong kausap ni Valerie ang doktor. Nilapitan ko silang dalawa.

“How’s Andi?”  I asked.

“We had to sedate her to calm her down.”  Sabi ng doktor. “We successfully stopped the bleeding at maayos na ang kundisyon niya. Nagpapahinga na siya ngayon sa loob.”

“And the baby?”  Tanong ko.

“I just performed a pelvic exam and her cervix is closed. But we still have to run a few tests to make sure the baby is in there.”

Pumasok ako sa loob kung saan nakahiga si Andi sa isa sa mga kama. She was unconscious and pale. I took her hand and kissed it. Huwag naman sana, pero hindi ko alam kung paano niya tatanggapin kapag nalaman niyang wala na ang bata sa sinapupunan niya. I would give up my life for our baby if I could. I spent a few minutes just watching her. I had caused her so much pain to protect her but what good did it do? I only ended up putting her through more pain.

“I love you.”  I kissed her on the forehead and left. I didn’t want to stay long enough to hear what the doctor had to say. Natatakot akong marinig na wala na ang bata. Natatakot ako sa magiging reaksyon ni Andi. I wasn’t prepared to deal with it yet.

 Lumabas ako ng kwarto at sinalubong ako ni Valerie.

“Ikaw muna ang bahala kay Andi. I already called Phoenix and he’s on his way. Please, don’t leave her.”  Pakiusap ko sa kanya. I would’ve called her husband if I knew his number but I didn’t kaya si Phoenix na lang ang tinawagan ko. 

“Where are you going?”  She asked.

I didn’t answer. Nagpatuloy ako sa paglakad. I just wanted to leave this place. I didn’t want to see Andi break. I would lose it. 

I got in my car and just drove, I didn’t know where I was going and at this point, I could care less. I just knew I had to get away. I still couldn’t wrap my head around what had just happened. Hindi pa ako nakaka-recover sa nalaman ko tungkol sa unang anak namin and now this happened. It was all too much to take in. 

My eyes stung with tears and my heart felt like it was squeezed. I felt like I was losing my mind. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. I was so lost in my thought and everything was a blur. Hindi ko napansin ang truck na sumulpot sa harap ko.

I tried to step on the break but it was too late. My whole life flashed before my eyes in a matter of seconds. Thirty years in only a couple of seconds. My life at the orphanage, my life in the street, the first night I met Andi, the day I had to let her go. It was like a movie on fast forward.  The last thing that entered my mind was her, my Andi. I closed my eyes, ready to face death as my car hit the 18 wheeler truck. 

---

Author’s Note

Guys, may sariling story na si Valerie, ang kapatid ni Tristan. Ruthless Seduction ang title. Here’s the link in case you want to read it.  

http://www.wattpad.com/story/9323019-ruthless-seduction (click on the external link)

Chapter Fifty Two

I didn’t listen, I didn’t believe him. I was really unfair to not listen to his explanations. I blamed him for the longest time. I blamed every single thing that went wrong on him. All he had ever done was try to protect me. Keep me safe. He didn’t leave me because of another woman or because he was tired of me.

I felt Valerie’s hand on my shoulder as I cried. 

“Where is he?”  I looked up at her with tears still in my eyes.

“He was here ealier while you were unconscious.”  She answered.  “He didn’t tell me where he went. Bigla na lang siyang umalis. He thought you lost the baby. I’ve seen my brother injured and half dead but I’ve never seen him so… broken.”

Gusto ko siyang makausap. I wanted to ask him a lot of things. I wanted to know why he didn’t tell me the truth. Why he had to hide it from me.

I was about to ask Valerie to call him but before I could, her phone rang. I was hoping it would be Trstan. I wanted to talk to him so bad kahit sa phone lang. She digged through her bag and took out her phone.

“Is it Tristan?”  I asked, my voice full of anticipation.

She looked at her phone screen and shook her head.  “Hindi ko alam kung kaninong number ito.”  Sabi niya.  “Excuse me, I’ll just answer this call.”  She stood up and got out of the room.

I looked at Phoenix, who was standing quietly next to my bed with his hands in both his pockets. 

“Nahuli ba ang mga gumawa sa kanya nun.”  I asked him.

He nodded his head.

“Why did they do it to him? What did they want?” 

He shrugged his shoulders.  “Kahit anong pilit namin ayaw nilang sabihin kung bakit nila ginawa iyon o kung sino ang nag-utos sa kanila na gawin iyon.”

“Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?” 

Kumunot ang noo niya.  “I did. Nagbigay ako ang sulat kay uncle Harold para ipadala sayo sa  New York.”

“I- I never got any letter.”

“You wrote back.” 

“No, I didn’t.”  I said, almost whispering. Si Harold… siya ang sumagot ng sulat. I shouldn’t be surprised. He would do everything para mapaglayo lang kami ni Tristan. I didn’t realize I was already clenching my fists in anger.  “What did I say in the letter?”

“Na kinasal na kayo ni Jason at wala ka ng pakialam kahit mamatay pa si Tristan.”  Sabi ni Phoenix. 

“It wasn’t me. I would never say that!”  I shook my head, my voice coming out harsher than I intended to. Naiiyak ako sa galit kay Harold at sa awa kay Tristan.

Pareho kaming napalingon sa pinto ng pumasok si Valerie. Her face pale and covered with tears. 

“Tristan got in a car accident.”  She said in a dead voice.

When I heard what she said I felt as though my world collapsed. I heard Phoenix ask if he was okay and Valerie said he was in a critical condition. It all sounded far away, like I was listening to a movie in a low volume. I wanted to pinch myself, hoping this was just a horrible dream. But it wasn’t…

“Mahal ko…”  It was the first word that came out of my mouth when I saw him. Saying it felt like home to me. God, it felt so good to say that again. I lightly touched his bruised face. He was so still and silent that he barely seemed alive. My heart felt lke it was being torn into tiny pieces seeing him like this. There were tubes attached to him, bandages wrapped around his body and head, his hearbeat was being monitored on the screen. I knew it was bad, being as how many things were attached to him. 

His car was smashed against a truck. Dahil sa lakas ng impact ng pagtama ng kotse, his body was thrown out of his car through the window and landed on the road like a ragdoll. The doctor was honest with us. She didn’t give us much hope. She said the blow was severe and it was a miracle he wasn’t killed on the spot. 

“I’m sorry I lied to you.”  My voice was quievering from the tears that were threatening to spill over.  “The baby I’m carrying is yours, ours. I lied to you. I know everything now. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

Hindi ko na napigilan ang mapaiyak.

Why does it have to be him? Why? It’s not fair…

“You have to wake up for our baby, for me, for everyone. Don’t leave me again, please… Tristan, wake up.”  I tried to shake him awake, I pleaded for him to wake up but it was all in vain.

  Marami pa tayong kailangan ayusin. You can’t leave me again. Not now, not ever…

“Andi.”  I didn’t know how long I’ve been staring at his face when I felt a hand on my back. Nang maubos na ang mga luha ko, all I could do was stare at him. I turned my head and saw a familiar face of a man.  Jaime.  Hindi ko alam na nandito pala siya. Hindi ko na napapansin ang mga taong naglalabas-masok dito. Nagdatingan ang mga kaibigan niya kanina but I didn’t care. He was all I could see, he was all I cared about… ang mahal ko.

His eyes were sad but he tried to smile.  “Good to see you again, hija.”

I hugged him and cried in his arms a little. He gently patted me on the back to comfort me. When we broke the hug tumingin siya kay Tristan. His face full of sadness.

“Hindi ako makapaniwalang nangyari ulit ito.”  He said in a broke voice, trying to hold back his tears.  “My son has already been through alot, and now for this to happen again…”  He shook his head.   

Nagkuwento si Jaime tungkol kay Tristan. How he was when he was still little, how they lost him. Kinuwento niya sa akin ang parehong storyang kinuwento ni Valerie. He told me how they found out Tristan was his son, he told me I was the first person he looked for when he got out of coma.

“It’s already late. Hindi ba sabi ng doktor mo kailangan mong magpahinga?”  Sabi ni Valerie. I ignored her. I didn’t want to leave him. I wanted to be the first person he sees when he wakes up.

“Come on, ihahatid na kita.”  Narinig kong sabi ni Phoenix.

“Dito lang ako. I’ll wait for him to wake up.” 

“You need to go home and take a rest.”  Si Valerie.

I shook my head.  “I just don’t want to leave him. He needs to wake up.”

“You almost had a miscarriage, Andi. Kung hindi mo aalagaan yang sarili mo baka kung mapano yang ipinagbubuntis mo.”  She gently said.  “Hindi matutuwa si Tristan niyan kapag may nangyari sa baby niyo.”

“Kami na ang bahala kay Tristan. Hindi namin siya pababayaan.”  Jaime gave me a faint smile.  “He’s going to be fine. My son will wake up. He has gone through this before and he will get throught it again. I know that he’s going to wake up.”

“Dad’s right. Makakaya ni Tristan ito. He’s a tough guy just like his little champ.”  Her gaze lowered to my stomach.  “Saan pa ba magmamana yang baby niyo kundi sa kanya din, di ba?”

It had been a month since he got into coma. Naghilom na ang mga sugat sa katawan at mukha niya ngunit ganun pa rin ang kundisyon niya. He wasn’t making any progress. He was still asleep. I, on the other hand, was just trying to live. I sit in the hospital for 14 hours everyday. Just holding his hand, talking to him, whispering sweet nothings and asking him to wake up.

I sat next to him quietly and watched him as I stroke his hair. I used to do that all the time, watch him sleep, take in the feel of his breath, the rise and fall of his chest. He was just so beautiful but I would rather he be awake this time. I would give anything to see his eyes open again.

“Alam mo ba kung anong araw ngayon, mahal ko? It’s your birthday.”  I smiled. I always talk to him as if he could hear me. I really wish he could. I didn’t want him to feel lonely wherever he is right now. I wanted him to know na nasa tabi niya lang ako palagi.   “Do you remember when you took me to the beach, sabi mo hindi mo alam kung kailan ang birthday mo kaya bumili ako ng cupcake at ng candle sa tindahan at kinantahan kita ng happy birthday.”

“Well, I brought a cupcake today.”  I said. Tinanggal ko ang balot ng cupcake at nilagyan ng kandila sa ibabaw. I started singing happy birthday to him, by the time I finished the song my eyes were clouded with tears.  “Ako na ang magwiwish para sa’yo.”  I closed my eyes and wished for him to wake up before blowing the candle. I took his hand in mine and entwined my fingers with his. And then I kissed the back of his hand.

“I really miss you. Remember when life was simple? When it was just you and me. Our life wasn’t perfect back then but it was perfect for me because I had you in it.   Nung iniwan mo ako, those three years without you was hell. Don’t do that again. Don’t leave me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”  Idinantay ko ang ulo ko sa kamay niya.  

“Siguro kaya ayaw mo na gumising kasi napapagod ka ng intindihin ako. Maybe you got tired and you couldn’t take anymore pain.”  The tears I’ve been holding back began to ran down my face.  “You loved me even when I didn’t deserve it. I’ve hurt you so much and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry I blamed everything on you. I’m sorry I said those horrible things to you. Kapag nagising ka, I promise I will make it up to you. I will take care of you, I will love you every single moment, and I will always trust and believe in you. Gusto ko ulit marinig na tinatawag mo kong mahal ko. I lied when I told you I hated it. You don’t know what I would give to hear you say it again. So, please come back. I need you and our baby needs you. You have to live.”  Yumakap ako sa kanya. I buried my face on his neck and sobbed uncontrollably.

It gets harder and harder to prentend to be strong everyday. Nahihirapan akong makita siyang ganito. Natatakot akong baka hindi na siya magising. I thought about the last time I saw him awake. I told him I hated him and I wish I could take it back. I didn’t really hate him. I wish I never said that. I wish I told him how I really felt. That I was scared and I didn’t want him to leave me. Sana hindi siya naaksidente, sana wala siya ngayon dito.

“I love you, mahal ko. I love you…”  I whispered against his neck.  

I hired a private investigator para alamin kung nasaan na si Olivia at Harold. It was time to make peace with myself. I knew I needed to let go of my anger, my hatred, and my guilt. I needed to let go of the things I don’t have the power to change. I was ready to forgive them. It doesn’t mean that what they did was okay and I would welcome them in my life again. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang ginawa nila sa anak namin ni Tristan pero tama si Aiko, kahit ano pang gawin ko hindi na mababago ang mga nangyari. I had made a monster out of myself because of this hate. 

The place where Tristan and I used to live was far more better than this. Marumi ang lugar, masikip, mabaho, maingay, magulo. The houses were made of old woods or built with thatched roofs. Parang kahit kailan bibigay na ang mga iyon. Pumasok kami sa masikip na eskenita at huminto sa isang pinto na halos sira-sira.

“Sigurado ka bang dito sila nakatira?”  I asked the private investigator. I couldn’t believe that they would live in a place like this. 

He just nodded his head. I hesitantly knocked on the door. It took a few seconds before the it swung open. Olivia’s eyes widened when she saw me. I was surprised too. Malayong-malayo ang itsura niya sa Olivia na kilala ko. I had never seen her hair this messy because she had always been vain about it. Her designer clothes were replaced by a worn out oversized shirt and a long skirt. And she was only wearing cheap flip flops instead of high heels. She was no longer the elegant Olivia.

“Andi, honey…”

  There was genuine happiness in her eyes. She hugged me and I didn’t move. I just stood there like a log. Bumitaw siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin pagkatapos ng ilang sandali at tinitigan ako.  “Halika, pasok kayo.”

“Maghihintay na lang ako dito sa labas.” S abi ng kasama ko. Tumango lang ako bago pumasok sa loob.

“Pagpasensyahan mo na itong bahay namin.”  She said, embarrassment in her voice. I looked around the small room. The woods in the room was in bad shape, the sofa on the left side of the wall looked old and dirty, across from it was a small sink and a table. Hindi ako makapaniwalang nakatira si Olivia at Harold sa lugar na ito. 

“Sit down.”  She said with a smile as she gesture her hand at the sofa. Umupo ako doon at tumabi siya sa akin.  “Kumusta ka na? Hindi ka ba nahihirapan sa pagbubuntis mo?”

I shook my head, I couldn’t talk around the growing lump in my throat. 

“Sino yang kausap-”  Lumabas si Harold mula sa kwarto na natatakpan lang ng tela. He stopped mid-sentence when he saw me.  “Andi.”

He looked thin, pale and weak. Malaki ang ipinayat niya mula ng huli ko siyang nakita. Tumayo ako at lumapit siya sa akin para yumakap.

“Akala ko hindi na kita makikita ulit.”  He said breaking the hug and cupping my face. Nangingilid ang mga luha sa mata niya. “Salamat sa pagpunta mo dito, anak.”

“I just came here to give back what is yours.”  I said in a stiff tone. Inabot ko sa kanya ang brown envelope na naglalaman ng dokumento ng mga ari-arian niya. I’m giving back what I took from him.

He stared at it for awhile before taking it.  “Thank you but more than anything I just want your forgiveness. Naiintindihan ko kung bakit nagalit ka sa akin. I hope you can forgive me for what I did, maybe not now but someday. “

“I have forgiven you but I don’t want you to be a part of my life anymore.”

Tumango-tango si Harold. There were tears at the corner of his eyes.  “Your forgiveness is what’s important to me.” 

Tumalikod na ako at nagsimulang maglakad.

“Do you want to visit your baby?”  Tanong ni Harold sa akin. What he said made me stop. What did he mean?

Harold took me to a cementery and we stopped at one of the graves.

“Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako pinatatahimik ng konsensya ko sa ginawa ko.”  He said, his voice cracking.  “I saw it. It was a baby, it was tiny but it was a baby. It was my grandchild.”

Baby Cordova. I traced the name on the tombstone and let out a sad smile. At least now I know my wasn’t thrown away like garbage, na may maayos siyang libingan. Pero hindi pa rin nababawasan ang sakit sa dibdib ko. 

“Hi, baby.”  I choked out as my eyes got watery.  “You know I love you, right? I love you even though I never got to meet you. I wanted you from the moment I knew you were with me. There’s never a day when I’m not thinking about you. I always wonder what you would grow up to be like. How you would look like. Would you look like your daddy or me? Would you have his eyes or mine? How would your laugh sound? I wish I could’ve felt your kicks and heard your heartbeat. I wish I could’ve seen your face and snuggle you against my chest. I wish I could’ve hold you and tell you how much I love you.”  My tears were like were like waterfalls, neverending.

“R

ight now I want to be at peace with your loss. Lalo na ngayon na magkakaron ka na ng kapatid. But no matter what, even after the baby comes you will always be my first baby. You were the one who first grew inside me and that will never change.“

Chapter Fifty Three

CHUPEPAY- Thank you sa bagong cover ng TSGFL :)

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“Sorry natagalan ako. Pinuntahan ko pa ang baby natin, mahal ko.”  I caressed his cheek with the back of my hand. He looked so calm and serene yet it hurts to see him like this. I wanted to see his eyes open. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to feel his touch again.   “They had him buried… we could visit him when you wake up. You know, 

I always thought he was a boy when I was still carrying him.“  I smiled, remembering the little time I had him inside me.  “I imagine him looking like you, handsome as his daddy.”

 

“Three years old na sana siya ngayon. I’m sorry I haven’t told you anything about him yet so I will now. I was six weeks pregnant when I found out about him. I guess that’s why I was so moody. Palagi akong naiinis sa’yo pero palagi mo rin akong nilalambing.”  I let out a small gigle. I remember getting annoyed with him for the littlest things and I remember being insecure about everything.  He would always hug and kiss me until I feel better. He would always try to make me laugh when I’m in a bad mood. He had the patience of a saint with me. He understood me even when he didn’t understand. 

“You were with Valerie that day. I waited for you the whole night… I was so excited to tell you that we were going to have a baby.”  I choked out.  “But when you came back the next day,  you weren’t the same. Gusto kong sabihin sa iyo ang tungkol sa baby natin pero ayaw mo akong kausapin. I’m not mad at you anymore, Tristan, I know everything now. You pushed me away to protect me.”

“My biggest regret is I didn’t tell you about our baby. Hindi mo man lang nalaman ang tungkol sa kanya nung nasa tiyan ko pa lang siya. If you knew about him, I know you would’ve loved him too.”  Kung nabuhay ang panganay namin alam kong magiging mabuti siyang ama. Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat. I knew he would love the baby I was carrying. He could still be a good father… if only he would wake up.

As the weeks went on, my stomach grew bigger and bigger. I still visit him everyday, I talk and talk to him. I talk about everything. I read books to him. I tell him how much I miss him, love him, need him. If I had to do it everday of my life, I would. I will never get tired of taking care of him just like how he never got tired of loving me.

“Hello, my beautiful wife.”  Nakaupo si Jason sa harap ng mini bar pag-uwi ko galing ospital. There was a bottle of alcohol in front of him and an empty glass. He poured himself another drink and down it in one gulp. He was about to pour himself another one when I took the bottle from him.

“Why are you drinking again?”  I asked, looking at him angrily. Ito na ang pangatlong beses na naabutan ko siyang umiinom o lasing sa loob ng isang linggo. It wasn’t good for him. Jason used to be an alcoholic. It worries me that he might slip back to his old habit.    

He shrugged his shoulders.  “To celebrate our divorce.”  And then he chuckled. Last week I gave him the divorce paper to sign and he still haven’t given it back to me. I already gave him his share that I promised. Inaayos na rin ang kaso ni Meredith para makalaya ito sa bilanguan. Wala ng dahilan pa para manatili kaming kasal.  “Did you ever love me, Andi? Even just a little?”

Hindi ako nakasagot. I only loved one man my whole life and that was Tristan. Our marriage was just out of convenience. Pinakasalan ko siya dahil gusto kong makalayo sa mga magulang ko, pinakasalan niya ako para makuha niya ang mana na iniwan sa kanya ng dad niya. 

He laughed like a madman.  “Of course, you never did!” I was startled when he threw the glass he was holding at the wall in front of him. He turned his head to me, his eyes angry but full of hurt.  “You never fucking did!” 

   

I never thought he would take it like this dahil kahit kailan naman hindi kami nagsama bilang totoong mag-asawa. I was scared by his reaction but I pity him at the same time. 

“Jason, please, calm down.”  I gently said. 

“Ako ang nasa tabi mo nung kailangan mo ng karamay. Where the fuck was he when you needed him! Wala, di ba?! Iniwan ka niya!”  He shouted angrily.  “Iniwan ka niya! Nakalimutan mo na ba yun?”

“He didn’t leave me. You don’t understand…”  I shook my head. 

“What don’t I fucking understand, Andi? What?!”  He growled and slowly walked towards me. I swallowed in fear when he grabbed both my arms.  “You threw everything we’ve worked for out of the window because of all that forgiveness bullshit! Tristan left you! He left you for another woman and your parents killed your child! I was the only one there when you needed someone. I’m even willing to father that child… kahit kinamumuhian ko ang ama niyang dinadala mo!”

“Jason, let me go…”  I whimpered, trying to pry myself from his grip. I was scared he might hurt me. Natatakot ako hindi para sa sarili ko kung hindi para sa batang dinadala ko.  

“Alam mo kung anong klaseng lalaki si Tristan! He’s a dirty gigolo! How could you love a man like him?”  Jason shook me. 

“Jason, ano ba?! Nasasaktan ako!”  I pushed him away, finally freeing myself. Umurong ako palayo sa kanya.  “You don’t know anything about Tristan!”

“Siya ang may kasalanan kung bakit nakakulong ang ina ko at kung bakit namatay ang ama ko! Siya ang sumira ng pamilya ko.”  He said through gritted teeth, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. I wanted to comfort him but I didn’t know how.

“He had no choice. Hindi niya ginusto iyon.”  I said in a small voice. I knew everything about Meredith and Tristan. I knew Tristan used to be Meredith’s lover. I also found out na kay Meredith niya kinuha ang perang ibinayad niya sa ospital noong nagkasakit ako. Kay Phoenix ko nalaman iyon. Ang hinala ng mga pulis, iyon daw ang dahilan kung bakit siya pinagtangkaang patayin noon. It was because of me. He chose to put his life in danger to save me.  “He did it for me… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”  And I told Jason what I knew.

“Binibilog lang nila ang utak mo…”  He said shaking his head.

“I’m so tired of hating, Jason… It’s exhausting. I know you’re tired too. Makakalaya na si Meredith. You can start a new life with her.”  Lumapit ako sa kanya. He was already sobbing. I cupped his face and looked at him in the eye.  “I know you’re a good person. I know who you really are. You don’t deserve a life like this. You deserve to be happy. Makakahanap ka din ng taong mamahalin mo at magmamahal sa’yo.”

He left after that night. Nag-iwan siya ng sulat at iniwan niya rin ang divorce papers na may pirma niya. Sabi niya sa sulat babalik na daw siya sa New York kasama si Meredith pagnakalaya na ito. 

The doctor said I was already five months and two weeks pregnant. Pwede na din daw malaman ang gender ng baby pero ayoko munang alamin. I didn’t want to find out our baby’s gender without Tristan being there.

I excitedly went to his room after my check up. Idinikit ko sa pinboard nakasabit wall sa ulunan niya ang sonogram ng baby namin. Nandun ang ultrasound picture niya mula nung one month siya hanggang ngayon na five months na siya. I wanted to show it to Tristan when he wakes up. I’ll tell him everything about our baby. The morning sickness, the changes in my belly, the first kick… everything. If only he was here to experience all those things that happened. I let out a deep sigh and tried to brush that depressing thought away. I knew the baby can feel my emotions kaya iniiwasan kong malungkot. 

I sat on the chair next to the hospital bed. I gave him a kiss on the lips and stared at his handsome face.  “The doctor said our baby is perfectly healthy.”  I said, stroking his hair like I always do. Kinuwento ko sa kanya ang mga sinabi ng doktor sa akin. That our baby was almost a pound and it already looks like a mini baby. 

I moved my fingers down his face and felt his familiar features, running my it across his brows and tracing his eyelids.  “You know what I love about you? Your eyes. The way you look at me and the way they look right into mine. I hope our baby will have your eyes. They’re beautiful.”  I brought my fingers down to his lips and slowly traced it.  “And those lips… your smile, the way you kiss me, all the sweet things you say to me. There’s not one thing I don’t love about you.” 

“It’s been so long… Kailan ka ba gigising? I really miss you.”

  Nung una siyang na-coma, they said he woke up after two months. Bakit hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin siya nagigising?  “You know you have to wake up. You will, right? Your gonna be a daddy… Kailangan ka namin ng baby natin. Kailangan niya ng tatay.”

I inhaled deeply, fighting back the tears. It hurts and it was hard but I need to hold myself together for my baby, for him. I couldn’t imagine my child growing up fatherless. I always thought I could do it without him but now I realize how wrong I was. I need him and I’m scared of not  being with him.

“Oh…”  I felt the baby moving inside me, it probably felt what I was feeling. I took Tristan’s hand and placed it on my stomach. I wanted him to feel it too. Suddenly, our baby gave a hard kick under his hand and the surprise and discomfort made me gasp. I had never felt the baby move this strong before. Dahan-dahan akong napangiti. 

“You’re trying to wake daddy up, aren’t you?”  Bumaba ang tingin ko sa tiyan ko. I stroked Tristan’s hand that was still placed on my stomach.  “Naramdaman mo ba yun, mahal ko? Pati ang baby natin ginigising ka na.” 

And then I felt his fingers flinch. For a moment, I forgot how to breathe. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. Did I really just felt Tristan’s fingers move or was I just imagining it? A flash of hope shot through my heart.

“Tristan…”  I looked at him. His face was still the same, his eyes closed.  But I felt him move… I really did.

“Can you move again for daddy?”  I asked. I was praying it would move again, baka pag naramdaman niya ang baby namin magising na siya. It was hope against hope.   “Please, baby, wake him up.”

And it was like the baby understood what I just said. It shifted inside me, pressing against his hand. 

“Oh my god!”  Tears began to form at the corner of my eye when I felt his fingers tightened on my belly. And I knew I wasn’t imagining it. This was all real. He really moved!

Chapter Fifty Four

I stared down at Tristan, his mouth slighty opened and a soft groan mingled with his breath came out of it. I felt my heart thumping wildly against my chest. I knew this day would come, I knew he’d wake up. So many emotions ran through me and I didn’t know what to do with them.

“Tristan, do you hear me? Please, open your eyes.”  I desperately begged him.

His eyes slowly opened in a slit and quickly closed. Fear struck through me, I didn’t want him to close his eyes. Natatakot ako na baka hindi niya na idilat ulit iyon. 

“Mahal ko.”  I called him as I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. He slightly opened his eyes again and looked at me but he didn’t seem to take me in fully. There was a glazed and confused look on his face, he looked disoriented. For a moment, he darted his eyes around the room. Then he blinked as though trying to focus.

“Tristan.”  A smile spread across my lips as tears continued to blur my vision. I was trembling with anticipation and happiness. He was finally awake. I knew he would never leave me again. Hindi niya magagawang iwan ako at ang anak namin. He knew how much we needed him.

His eye flickered to mine, holding my gaze. A flood of warmth flooded my chest as I look back at those familiar pair of eyes that made me fall in love every single time. I felt him softly squeeze my hand back sending a rush of all kinds of emotions. 

“A… Andi…”  He said weakly forcing it out of his mouth. I smiled even wider when I heard him say my name, making my eyes water more. Tears of happiness came streaming down them. I was happy to be there when he woke up, I was happy I was the first person he saw when his eyes opened, I was happy he could talk and that he was alive.

“I’m here.”  I leaned down to his face and cupped it in my hands. “Nandito lang ako, mahal.”  I said before I kissed him on the forehead, the tip of his nose and finally his lips. I looked at him after giving him kisses, he gave me a weak smile and lifted his hand up to touch my cheek and wipe away my tears. I closed my eyes and nuzzled my face against his palm, feeling his warmth. I had missed him so much, his kiss and his touch. “I knew you wouldn’t quit.”  I sobbed. I didn’t let go of his hand as I kept telling him I love him.  

He tried to sit up but couldn’t. A pained moan escaped his lips. I gently pushed his shoulders down, not wanting him to hurt himself.

“Don’t move, just lay down.”  I calmly said to him.  “I’ll call the doctor.”

I reached for the intercom button next to his bed to call his doctor. I told the nurse on the end of the intercom that Tristan was finally conscious. Two doctors and three nurses quickly came to check him up.

“Do you remember how you got here?”  Tanong sa kanya ng isa sa mga doktor.

He shook his head and tried to talk in a dry, weak voice. “I… I don’t…”   

“It’s okay, don’t force yourself to talk. You got in a car accident and sustained serious cranial fractures.”  The doctor explained.

Habang tinitignan siya ng mga doktor tinawagan ko ang ama niya, si Valerie at ang mga kaibigan niya para sabihin sa kanila na gising na si Tristan. Kauuwi lang ni Jaime kaninang umaga para magpahinga dahil siya ang nagbabantay kay Tristan sa gabi. He takes over during the night so I could go home and rest. Even though I wanted to spend every hour of everyday with him I didn’t want to abuse my body because it wasn’t mine alone anymore, I had to take care of myself because I was carrying his child. Si Valerie naman ang madalas kong kasama dito sa ospital at madalas kong nakakausap, we became close. Palagi din bumibisita ang mga kaibigan niya sa kanya, even though they were busy with their own lives they never forget to visit and check up on him. Sigurado akong matutuwa sila kapag nalaman nilang nagising na si Tristan.

Pagkaalis ng doktor ay muli akong umupo sa tabi niya. I took his hand and kissed it. He was looking at me now. I had so much I wanted to tell him but I was lost for words. I didn’t know how and where to start.

“The doctors said you’re doing good.”  Sabi ko sa kanya, nagsimula na naman magtubig ang mga mata ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. It was our baby that woke him up, what happened was like a miracle. I couldn’t believe he was looking back at me right now.  “You were gone for almost 4 months. I still can’t believe you’re finally awake. I missed you so much.”

Dahan-dahan bumaba ang tingin niya sa mata ko at bakas ang pagkagulat sa mukha niya ng makita ang tiyan ko.

“It’s… it’s big.”  He said in a ruff and breathy voice, not leaving his gaze on my round belly.

“Yes, I’m already five months along.”  I said smiling despite the tears. Kinuha ko ang dalawang kamay niya at inilagay sa ibabaw ng tiyan ko.  “Our baby woke you up… You moved when you felt it kick…” 

“Our?”  He looked up at me with amusement and confusion.  “Mine?”  His eyes went back on my belly.

“Yes, it’s yours. It’s our baby. I’m sorry I lied and told you it’s Jason’s.”  My voice croacked.  “You’re the only man I’ve given myself to, I know it’s hard to believe but I’m telling the truth. I only married him because I wanted to get away from my parents. I couldn’t give myself to any man other than you because you’re the only one I’ve ever loved.”          

“Andi…”  His eyes were soft and gentle.

“I know everything now, Tristan. They told me everything. I know why you had to leave me and I’m sorry for not listening to you.”  More tears fell from my eyes. I felt horrible. Kinailangan niya pa maaksidente para maniwala ako sa kanya.

“No…”  He shook his head and tried to lift his arms to hug me but I could tell, after being in coma for months, they were weak and limp. I leaned down and hugged him, resting my head on his chest. This was where I belong…

“Can you forgive me?”  I asked.

“Nothing… to… forgive…”  He was still having a hard time talking. I looked up at him, his eyes glistening with tears. Inangat ko ang ulo ko at ikinulong ko ang mukha niya sa mga palad ko. I kissed him on the lips and he responded, slightly moving it. Oh how I missed his kisses, his warm lips against mine. 

The door opened and I quickly pulled away. Wayne was the one who opened it, he grinned when he saw us.

“Finally, our sleeping beauty has awoken.”  He chuckled a bit as he smiled. Lumapit siya kay Tristan at sandaling niyakap ito bago parang batang ginulo nito ang buhok niya.  “Glad to have you back, dude. We all missed you.” 

“Welcome back, buddy.”  Phoenix hugged him too and patted him on the shoulder. “Malalaki na ang mga inaanak mo, magpagaling ka na dahil gusto na nilang makita ang ninong Tristan nila.”  He was talking about his lovely twins, my beautiful niece and nephew. Coco, as I fondly call Nicholas, and Audrey. They were both beautiful.

Patakbo namang lumapit si Valerie kay Tristan at niyakap ito. He winced at the tight grip and she quickly let him go.  “I’m sorry…”  She giggled.  “I’m just so happy to see you awake!”

“Hey.”  Dahan-dahan na lumapit si Axel sa kanya, his hands in both his pockets. Tristan faintly smield at him. Axel went to him and gave him a pat in the back.  “You fucking scared us again.”

Next was Seth.  “Dude, you’ve used up two lives. I know you still have seven lives left but you gotta be careful next time.”

Everyone laughed.

Naluluhang lumapit si Jaime sa anak. He lovingly patted his cheek before hugging him.

All he could do was smile at them but I knew he was happy to see everyone.

After a week of staying in the hospital he was finally getting back in shape, he had put on some of the weight that he lost while he was in coma. He was finally returning to his old self again. Noong mga nakaraang araw palagi siyang tulog, the doctor said it was normal because his body was still recovering. Now he doesn’t sleep as much as before. Whenever he was awake I tell him all the things I had told him when he was still unconscious and he eagerly listens to me. 

Now I was telling him how our baby woke him up.   I smiled and looked at Tristan who was sitting on his hospital bed and listening quietly like how a father would listen to his child.  I would never get tired of telling that story over and over again. Balang-araw ikukuwento ko rin iyon sa anak namin. Someday, when our baby is old enough I would tell our child how he or she woked his or her daddy up from his deep slumber.  Some may think it was a coincidence but I think it was more than that.

Tristan smiled warmly at inabot niya ang tiyan ko. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rubbed my pregnant belly. I put my arms around his neck.  “Ikaw pala ang dahilan kung bakit nagising ako. Thank you baby and I’m sorry I missed seeing you grow this big.”  He said stroking my stomach. My hand went up to his hair and I ran my fingers through it. Napangiti ako habang kinakausap niya ang baby namin. 

“You have so much to tell me.”  I said quietly.  “I want to know everything from you. Tell me what happened.”  I had heard his dad, Phoenix and Valerie’s story but I still wanted to hear it from him. There were still so many things I didn’t know.

He looked up at me. Sandali siyang natahimik bago siya nagsalita. He started telling me the story that I had heard from Valerie.  “I got scared for you. Natakot ako na baka may gawin silang massama sayo kapag nalaman nila kung nasaan ka. The only thing on my mind at that time was to keep you safe. I knew I couldn’t do that on my own and I felt helpless. Akala ko magiging ligtas ka kapag binalik kita sa mga magulang mo…”  His eyes were full of regret and sorrow. I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. 

“Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin ang totoo noon pa lang? Why did you have to lie?”  I asked.

“I know how hard headed you are, Andi. Hindi ka makikinig sa akin kapag sinabi ko ang totoo. Hindi ka papayag na ibalik kita sa kanila. I wanted you to hate me para hindi ka humabol sa akin.”  Sabi niya. Well, what he said was true. I would’ve stayed with him no matter what. Whatever happened good of bad, hindi ko siya iiwan.

“Who did it to you?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

He trailed off, almost as if he didn’t want to tell me. 

“Tristan?” 

“Your… your father.”  His voice was soft but I heard it loud and clear, those words exploded like a bomb in my ears. It felt as if my whole world had come crumbling down. He wasn’t even half as bad as I thought he was. He killed my child and he tried to kill my child’s father! How could he do this to us?  “Inamin niya sa akin ang lahat sa akin, ang tungkol sa anak natin at ang pagtangka niyang pagpatay sa akin.”

“Why?”  My voice was weak to the point of tears. 

“He wanted you back.”  He said.  “at siguro natatakot siya na baka bumalik ka ulit sa akin kaya sinubukan niya akong ipapatay.”

And I coudn’t hold the tears any longer. He had sarcificed so much for me. All those times, I blamed him… it was actually my fault. Ako dahilan kung bakit naranasan niya lahat ng paghihirap na naranasan niya noon.  “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. I’m so sorry. Kung di dahil sa akin… kung hindi mo ko nakilala hindi mangyayari lahat sayo yun.” 

“Shh… I don’t want to hear anymore of that. It wasn’t your fault…”  He cupped my face and looked me in the eyes.  “Having you in my life is the best thing that ever happened to me. If I have to go through it all over again, I would if it guarantees a lifetime with you. I would die and live for you again and again. There’s nothing I won’t do for you..”

   

 He gently wiped my tears away and pulled my face to him. 

After a few more days of staying at the hospital the doctors told us that he could be released. Pagkalabas na pagkalabas niya pa lang sa ospital he said the first thing he wanted to do was visit our first baby’s grave. 

We were sitting on the grass next to his grave. Nagsindi kami ng kandila at inilagay ni Tristan ang baby blue teddy bear sa ibabaw nito. He talked to our baby. He told him how much he loved him and he cried a little. Hinaplos-haplos ko ang likod niya habang umiiyak siya.

We were ready to forget the pain of the past. We knew we had each other to lean on. I was just thankful that we could still have a new beginning, a new day when so many didn’t… just like our little angel. I’m sure that was what our baby wanted. He had taught us to forgive. Forgive ourselves, forgive each other and the people who had hurt us in the past.

“He doesn’t have a name yet.”  I said as I stroke his hair. Tristan was lying on the grass with his head on my lap next to the grave.  “What should we name him?”

“I know whatever you name him would be perfect for him.”  He said looking up at me.

“What do you think of Mr. Darcy?”  I snickered. It was the hero from one of my favorite book.

Kumunot ang noo ni Tristan at agad na sumagot  “No.”

“How about Rhett?”  I asked, another hero from a book.

Sandali siyang nag-isip bago umiling.

“Tristan Zamora, Jr.?”   My very own hero…

He smiled and nodded his head in agreement.

Nagising akong may nakapulupot na kamay sa tiyan ko. I felt  Tristan’s breath on my hair, he was sound asleep next to me, spooning me. There was no better feeling than waking up next to the man you love. I shifted to face him. He moaned and cuddled me closer until my head was buried on his bare chest. I inhaled the familiar smell of him. Mine. He is all mine.

I felt him kiss me on the forehead.  “Morning.”  He said in that voice… that sexy morning voice that I so much missed.

“Good morning.”  Sabi ko. I looked up at him and was greeted by a pair of beautiful sleepy eyes.  “May appointment ako sa doctor ngayon. Do you wanna come with me?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”  He said with a smile.  “Can I have my morning kiss?”  He said puckering his lips.

I gave him small kisses on his lips over and over. We both got up and took a shower together and then we ate together. It felt so good doing all these things with him again just like we used to a few years ago. 

“It’s a healthy baby boy.”  Sabi ng doktor sa amin. Tristan was sitting next to my bed, he flicked his eyes from the monitor to me. This was the first time he had seen his child live and he obviously had hard time tearing his eyes from the monitor.

“We’re having a boy.”  Masayang sabi ko sa kanya.

He looked at me with a combination of amusement, shock and happiness.  “God, Andi, thank you. Thank you for having my son.”  He kissed my forehead and I giggled. His eyes went back to the monitor. “He’s beautiful.”  He said in awe. I could see tears forming on the corner of his eyes. I knew he would be a good father… and a loving husband.

Pagkagaling namin sa check up dinala ko siya sa beach. The beach where he took me for our ‘first date’.  He was surprised when I took him there. I already had it all planned before we left the house earlier. 

He sat on the sand and watched the waves with me, my back resting on his chest. I was thinking of what I was going to say and how I should say it. When I gathered enough strength, humarap ako sa kanya.

“Tristan Gonzales, Dominic Zamora, Tristan Zamora o kahit sino ka pa… mahal na mahal kita. You are the only thing and everything I need in my life.”  I knelt down in front of him and opened a small box.  “Will you marry me?”

“Mahal ko…”  Hinawakan niya ako sa braso at maingat na hinatak pagkatapos ay inupo niya ako sa kandungan niya. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his hands on my belly. I turned my head to him and he kissed me.

“So, will you marry me?”  I asked him again when we broke from the kiss.

“Hmm…”  He wrinkled his forehead like he was thinking hard. I just stared at him nervously while waiting for him to answer.  “Pwedeng bang pag-isipan ko muna?”

He had a second thought on marrying me? I frowned and hit him in the chest.  “Forget it!”

I tried to stand up from his lap but he held me down. Tawa lang siya ng tawa habang sinusubukan kong kumawala sa kanya.

“Let me go!”  Inis na sabi ko.  “Pagkatapos mo kong buntisin…”

“Pinipikot mo na yata ako eh. Hindi ba gusto mo naman magpabuntis sa akin? You practically stole my sperm from me.”  He grinned that annoying sexy grin.

I felt my face flush in embarrassment and anger. “I did not steal anything from you! You gave it to me! Kung ayaw mo akong pakasalan, di huwag! Hindi naman kita pinipilit!” 

“Ok fine, I’ll marry you.” He said as if he was doing me a favor.

“Huwag na, nakakahiya naman sa’yo.”  I rolled my eyes.

“Nagtatampo na naman ang mahal ko.” Malambing na sabi niya. He buried his face on my neck and I shrugged it.

“Ito talagang nanay mo matampuhin eh ano, baby?”  He said rubbing my stomach.

“Kasi yang tatay mo nakakainis.”  I said looking down at my tummy.

He chuckled.  “I was supposed to be the one asking you to marry me. Naunahan mo lang ako.”  He reached for something on his pocket and took it out. Iniharap niya iyon sa akin at binuksan.

“Do you remember the first time I proposed to you and I didn’t have any ring to give you? Hindi ba ipinangako ko sa’yo noon na bibilhan kita ng singsing?”  He said taking out the ring from the box. It was beautiful, it was a white gold band with a perfectly round diamond on the center. He took my hand and he paused just as he was about to slip it on my finger. I was already wearing a simple gold wedding ring. Ang wedding ring namin. Nothing could be more beautiful than this ring on my finger. 

“You’ve kept it.”  He said, sentimentally. A smile slowly spread across Tristan’s face and then he pulled the necklace he was wearing out of his shirt. Nakabit ang parehong singsing sa kuwintas niya. Hinubad niya iyon at kinuha ang singsing.

“Gusto kong isuot mo ulit sa akin ito.”  He said, giving me the ring.

I took it from him and slipped it on his finger and I knew from that moment there would never be any other person for me. He was my first love, my last and my only.

Chapter Fifty Five

“Inalagaan ng prinsesa ang prinsipe hanggang sa isang araw muli siyang nagising sa mahimbing na pagkatulog.” Sabi ni Tristan. Nasa orphanage kami ngayon at nakapalibot sa kanya ang mga bata habang nagkukuwento siya. They were all sitting on the grass, I was about to call them inside for lunch but I didn’t want to interrupt their fun. I decided to stay and listen to Tristan’s story about the prince and the princess. Our story.  “Naisip ng prinsesa na hindi na siya makakahanap ng kasing kisig, kasing gwapo at kasing bait ng prinsipe niya kaya pinikot niya ang prinsipe bago pa maagaw sa kanya sa kanya ito ng ibang babae.”

I frowned and couldn’t help but say,  “Hindi kita pinikot!”

“Nandyan ka pala, mahal ko.”  He turned his head to me with that boyish grin. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at hinatak niya ako paupo sa harap niya. He made me sit between his legs and he wrapped his arms around me.

“Ikaw kung anu-ano sinasabi mo sa mga bata. Ang yabang mo talaga!”  I said, acting annoyed but smiling at the same time.

Tumawa lang siya bago idinantay ang ulo sa balikat ko. “O sige na nga, di na pinikot ng prinsesa ang prinsipe.  Nagpropose ang prinsesa sa prinsipe pero bawal tumanggi ang prinsipe.”    

“Alam niyo, hindi naman pinipilit ng prinsesa ang prinsipe magpakasal sa kanya. Kung ayaw niya, pwede pa naman siyang umatras.”  Sabi ko sa mga bata.

“Pero syempre, di yun gagawin ng prinsipe kasi mahal na mahal niya ang prinsesa. Hindi niya na hahayaan magkalayo pa sila ng prinsesa niya l

alo na ngayon na,

“  He looked down my stomach and fondly carressed it.  “magkakaron na sila ng sariling prinsipe.”   

  “Ano ba yang nasa tiyan mo, ate Andi? Bola po ba yan?” Inosenteng tanong ni Isabelle habang nakatingin sa tiyan ko. 

  “Hindi, nasa loob ng tiyan niya ang prinsipe namin.”  Natatawang sagot ni Tristan.

Nanlaki ang mata ni Isabelle.  “Kinain niya po ang prinsipe?!”

Everyone started to laugh, including me.

“Maiintindihan mo din yan paglaki mo.”  Tristan answered, when his laugh subsided.

“Si ate Andi po ba ang prinsesa sa kwento?”  Carol asked, bemused.

“Oo, siya ang prinsesa ko.”  Sabi ni Tristan. He held my chin between his fingers and turned my head to him to kiss me on the forehead. The kids started making the ayieee sound. Natawa lang kami pareho ni Tristan. 

“Eh di ikaw ang prinsipe ni ate Andi, kuya Tristan?” Si Maggie.

“Wala ng iba.”  He said with a smile.   

“Pinatatawag na pala kayo ni sister sa loob para kumain.”  Sabi ko sa kanila ng maalala ko kung bakit ako lumabas dito.

“Masamang pinaghihintay ang pagkain. Pumasok na kayo.”  Sabi ni Tristan. Mabilis naman sumunod ang mga ito at tumayo na para pumasok sa loob hanggang sa kami na lang dalawa ang naiwan.

“Paano kung ganyan kadami ang anak natin?”  He asked looking at the children.

“Okay lang, basta ikaw ang magbubuntis at manganaganak.”  I answered.

He just chuckled and started stroking my hair. We sat in silence for a few minutes. 

“I know what I want to name our baby.”  I said, breaking that silence.

  

“What?”  Tanong niya.  

“I want to name him after St. Ivo of Kermartin, he protected the poor and the orphans. 

Yvo Zamora. What do you think?“  And I want him to live up to that name because his father was once a poor orphan too. 

“I think it’s perfect.”  He said.

We were lying in bed, my head rested on his bare chest while he drew random patterns on my arm. It was a weekened morning and I just wanted to cuddle with my husband. A smile spread across my face as I remember what happened last night. We made love. Kind of. We didn’t go all the way because I was already on my third trimester and he was scared he might accidentally hurt me or the baby. But we found other ways to pleasure each other.

He moved and layed down on my legs. Kinausap niya ang baby namin katulad ng palagi niyang ginagawa. Our baby seemed to already recognize his voice because everytime Tristan talks to him I could feel him move.

“Baby Yvo, excited na kaming makita ka.”  He said, stroking my belly. I looked down at his hair and slowly ran my finger through it as he talked to our baby.  “Alam mo ba na ang nanay mo ang pinakamagandang babae na nakilala ko. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her.”

“I don’t believe you. You never even wanted to take me with you the first time we met.”  I pouted.

“But I did, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, after I gave you a thousand pesos.”  I rolled my eyes.  “Ayaw mo pa nga akong pasakayin sa bulok mong motorcycle hangga’t di ko binibigay sayo yung one thousand pesos.”  

He let out a small laugh.  “Kailangan ko kasi ng pera noon dahil mapuputulan na ako ng kuryente. Why do you have to ruin the moment? I’m  trying to be sweet here!”

“Okay, I’m sorry.”  I said, trying not to laugh.

“Pero seryoso, I found you cute with your dorky glasses, your messy bun and silly personality.”  Tristan looked at me, his smile not leaving his face.  “I didn’t even understand how I felt at that time kasi ikaw pa lang ang unang babaeng nagparamdam sa akin nun. “

I felt that fluttery feeling in my stomach. God, I was already pregnant with his baby but he could still make me feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Ang galing mo talaga mangbola.”  Nakangiting sabi ko.

“Hindi kita binobola. I love you.”  He took my hand and kissed it. “Ikaw lang ang babaeng mamahalin ko.”  

“Puro ka ganyan. Baka mamaya mangbabae ka na dahil hindi na ko sexy.” 

Tumawa siya ng malakas.  “You’re still the sexiest woman for me and the only girl I’ll ever love as much as you would be our future daughter.”

The phone rang and we both tried to ignore it. It kept on ringing until Tristan was forced to get up and answer the phone.

“Hello?”  Maya-may naging seryoso ang mukha niya at tumingin siya sa akin.  

“It’s Olivia.”  Sabi niya sa akin.  “Gusto ka niyang makausap.”

I shook my head.  “I don’t want to talk to her. Ibaba mo na yan.”

“Something happened to your dad.”  He said. I just stared at him for awhile with a blank expression. I’ve already cut ties with them. I didn’t know if I should care or not. “Mahal, kausapin mo na siya.

“  Pakiusap ni Tristan.  Paulit-ulit siyang nakiusap hanggang sa napilitan na akong kunin iyon.

“Miranda?”  I hard Olivia’s voice.

“Ano’ng kailangan niyo?”  I asked in a cold tone.

“Gusto kang makita ng daddy mo. He had a heart attack again. He thought he wouldn’t make it and he told me to tell you he loves you.”  Her voice sounded like she had been crying. I took a sharp breath of air as I felt my chest getting heavy. It was impossible for me not to care. He was still my father, no matter what he did. Agad kaming sa ospital pagkatapos kong makipag-usap kay Olivia.

“Sweety.”  Olivia forced a smile when she saw us but I could see clear sadness in her eyes. She hugged me and I felt her need for comfort. I found myself hugging her back and after a moment I pulled away.

“How is he?”  I asked. She told me that he had been diagnosed with an incurable heart disease and the doctor gave him no more than a year to live. I felt a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach. Tristan squeezed my hand, silently comforting me.  

Pinapasok nila ako sa loob ng kwarto at naiwan silang dalawa.

I slowly walked to him and my eyes started to sting. For the first time in a long time, I saw my daddy. Not the monster that killed my child but the father I’ve loved. It was my daddy who was the first to wake up on Sunday mornings to teach me how to ride a bike. He was the one who reads me bedtime stories everynight as he stroke my hair. He was the one who’d give me piggyback rides when he came home from work and he was the one who would always tell me how pretty and loved I was. He was the one who never missed any school plays or parent-teacher conferences. Hindi siya nagkulang sa pagiging ama sa akin. He had been a good father to me and then he made that one great mistake.

“Daddy…”  My chest tightened and I felt a knot in my throat. He opened his eyes and when he saw me his eyes started to water.

“Andi, anak?”   His voice sounded strained. 

I nodded my head.

“Salamat sa pagbisita mo. You don’t know how happy you’ve made me today.”  His eyes started to water.   I threw my arms at him and hugged him. I let out a sob as tears pour down.

“Daddy…”  I cried. 

“Don’t cry. Baka makasama sa apo ko.”  He cupped my face and wiped my tears.  “I missed my baby girl.”  He was smiling an honest,eye crinkling smile as he looked at me. “

I heard you and Tristan are getting married, he’s a good man.“  

I nodded my head. “He is, daddy.”

“I wish I had known that earlier.”  Guilt and shame flashed across his face.  “Ang dami kong kasalanan sa inyo. Maybe this is my punishment… this isn’t even enough for what I’ve done to you and Tristan.

“I’m not afraid to die, Miranda. Pero alam mo ang kinakatakot ko? Natatakot ako na pagnamatay ako makaharap ko ang apo ko at itanong niya sa akin kung bakit ko iyon ginawa sa kanya. I’m afraid to tell my gandchild that I did that because I’m a horrible, selfish man.”  His voice was shaking as tears flooded down his face.  “Araw-araw kong pinagsisisihan ang ginawa ko.”  He started sobbing. Now, the strongest man I knew was crying. I never saw him like this before.  “When I see my grandchild, sasabihin ko sa kanya na mahal na mahal mo siya. He would have been lucky to have you as a mother.” 

I put my head on his shoulder and I wrapped my arms around him like I used to do.

Everything was forgiven. Magkakaron na kami ng anak ni Tristan. I wanted to be truly happy and I know I’ll never will if I kept living in the past. I didn’t want the past to continue haunting my present. Some things will leave heavy marks on us. It may take a while to fade away but eventually, It will. And everything will be good.

The wooden church door opened and I almost teared up when I saw Tristan standing at the end of the aisle. There he was, my first love, looking at me with the same look he gave me years ago while he stood at that very same spot. The look in his eyes made me feel as if I was the most beautiful girl in the universe. I hugged mom and stood next to my dad who would be the one to walk me down the aisle.

I took a deep breath when the music played and we slowly started walking, I never took my eyes off Tristan. I remember walking down this same aisle years ago. I vividly remember the sight, the feelings and thoughts I had at that time. Those memories will always stay fresh in my mind. I remember feeling like I was floating in pure bliss and having this same tingly sensation in my stomach. I remember seeing Tristan in his white shirt and tattered jeans with a proud smile on his face as I walk towards him. He was still wearing that same smile today. This was exactly how I pictured our wedding in my mind back then. Naramdaman ko na lang ang pagbagsak ng mga luha ko habang iniisip ko iyon. We’ve made it. We’ve kept our promise to each other. Sa kanya lang ako at sa akin lang siya. That will never change. I will always be his and he will always be mine.

It doesn’t matter how long it takes, whatever happens or who you’ve become, in the end you will always find your way back to the person you were meant to be with. I was glad I finally found my way back to him. Something pulled us back together, something bigger than ourselves, and I will forever be thankful for that. They say everyone gets a miracle in life and he happened to be mine.

Finally, I’ve reached the end of the aisle. It was kind of funny, ang dating humadlang sa kasal namin noon ang siya ngayon naghatid sa akin kay Tristan. 

“Take care of my daughter.”  Dad said.

“I will, sir.”  Sabi ni Tristan. Dad gave him a pat on the shoulder before passing me to him. His eyes were misty as he looked softly at me. Sandali niya akong tinitigan na parang tinatanong kung totoo ba ang lahat ng ito. I laughed through my tears and he hugged and kissed me on the forehead.

“I love you.”  He said in a hush whisper, wiping away my tears.

“I love you, too.”  I said.

He knelt down and kissed my stomach, where our future son was. Tumayo siya, kinuha niya ang kamay ko at sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa altar. A couple of years ago we made our vows here. Sabi niya noon hindi importante ang marriage certificate dahil papel lang iyon. I knew in my heart he was already my husband and no piece of paper could solidify it but I was happy that we were finally going to make it official in front of all the people we love.

Nagsimulang magsalita ang pari at natuon ang atensyon ng lahat sa kanya. Hindi binitawan ni Tristan ang kamay ko sa buong seremonya. 

“Miranda Cordova, 

do you before these witnesses take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband and do you promise that from this day forward you will be his faithful wife, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love him and to cherish him, till death do you part?“ 

“I do.”  My eyes were starting to water again. 

“Tristan Zamora, do you before these witnesses take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife and do you promise that from this day forward you will be her faithful husband, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love her and to cherish her, till death do you part?”

“I do.”  Sagot niya. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” 

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko ng bumaba ang ulo niya sa akin. He kissed me and in that kiss I tasted forever.

Chapter Fifty Six - Final Chapter

“Tristan…”  Nagising ako sa impit na ungol ni Andi. I opened my eyes and saw her writhing in pain next to me. Agad nawala ang antok ko at napaupo ako sa mula pagkakahiga. 

“Is it time?”  I asked her as I wiped the beaded sweat from her forehead. I could see the agony on her face and I tried hard not to freak out.

“I- I think so.”  She said in a shaky voice, gripping on my wrist and squeezing it as if she was trying to stop the pain.  “Ang sakit, Tristan. It hurts so bad.”

She was already on her ninth month and when we went for a check up last week the doctor said she was ready to give birth anytime soon. Now was the time. My heart was pounding so loud that I could almost feel it jumping out of my chest. I didn’t know what to do to comfort her. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko pahihintuin ang sakit. Kung pwede nga lang ako na ang sumalo nun.

I tried to calm myself down and got up from bed. We already packed the things we needed for the hospital weeks ago. Kinuha ko ang bag kung saan nakalagay ang mga gamit ng baby at mga damit ni Andi at sinabit sa katawan ko.

“Kaya mo bang tumayo?”  I asked her.

She nodded.  “Yeah… It just hurts so bad. I just want it to stop.”  She said in a wince. I hate seeing her in pain like this, if there’s only something I could do to take it away. Andi carefully rolled to the side of the bed and sat up. Hinawakan ko siya at inalalayan sa pagtayo. I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her wrist in the other hand as I guided her downstairs. She looked at me and I smiled hoping it would hide the turmoil and panic I was feeling inside.

Maingat ko siyang inupo sa passenger’s seat at sinuotan ng seatbelt. Then I hurridly ran to the driver’s seat. I was so excited but at the same time I was scared, worried, panicking. I had no idea how to handle things like this.

“Masakit pa ba?”  Kinuha ko ang isang kamay niya habang nagmamaneho ako. I just held and stroked it, wishing it would ease the pain she was feeling. 

She just nodded as an answer. I didn’t let go of her hand hanggang makarating kami sa ospital, that was the least I could do for knocking her up and putting her through this kind of pain. Agad na may sumalubong na nurse sa amin pagpasok namin sa ER. Namumutla na si Andi sa sakit ng makarating kami doon. They made her lie on the bed and the doctor checked her.

“The patient is in active labor. Eight centimeters dilated.”  Sabi ng doktor. The doctor told me it wouldn’t take long before she gives birth. I already wanted it to end. Nahihirapan akong makitang nahihirapan siya. It was almost like I could feel her pain.

“You’ll be fine. It’s going to be ok.”  Bulong ko sa kanya habang hawak ko ang kamay niya at hinahalik-halikan ko siya. I did my best to stay calm and try to comfort her.

She smiled faintly at me.  “I’m so excited to see him.”

“Ako din.”  I smiled back at her and kissed her on the forehead. I stroked her hair as I whispered things to her. Anthing to get her mind off the pain. We waited and waited until she was finally ready to give birth. At that moment I never wanted to get her pregnant again even though we were planning to have two children. If it means she’d have to go through this pain again then I think I’d pass.

“Anak, huwag mong pahirapan ang nanay.”  Sabi ko habang marahang hinahaplos ang tiyan niya.

“TRISTAAAAAAAAAAN!”  She screamed on the top of her lungs as her fingers dugged on my wrist. After about an hour of labor, our baby was ready to come out. 

“Misis, relax lang po.”  Sabi ng nurse. Andi’s face was red, she was breathing heavily and sweating like hell.  

“It’s okay… Nandito lang ako.”  Sabi ko sa kanya habang hawak ko ang kamay niya.

“Okay, misis, push.”  The doctor instructed her and she did. It took her several push before the baby came out. Tears automatically fell down my eyes when I heard our baby’s cry. Tumingin ako kay Andi. She looked exhausted, her eyes half open but happiness was radiating from her face. I kissed her on the lips and thanked her for putting up with the pain and for bringing my son in this world.

Pinahawak ng doktor sa akin ang bata. His warmth and his cry were overwhelming, I couldn’t believe I was holding my child for the first time. He was so beautiful. Everything went quiet the moment I held him. It was as if time stood still for me, as if the universe allowed me to have this moment with my child. A moment that would last forever. All I could feel was pure happiness, so much happiness that it made me cry.  He was worth it.

  “He has your eyes and your lips.” Nakangiting sabi ni Andi habang karga si Yvo. The sun was just starting to rise and we were in our private suite. Sandali kong pinagmasdan ang mag-ina ko at napangiti. Motherhood really suited her. 

Andi looked heavenly as the morning rays of sun shined lightly through the window highlighting her face and hair and glowing her skin. It gave her an almost otherwordly glow. She looked like an angel with an angel baby in her arms. It was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. My heart swelled with pride and joy that I felt like it could burst. This woman is my wife and the child in her arms is our son. I felt like I was the luckiest guy on earth.

“Isn’t he cute?” A ndi looked up at me with her beautiful smiling face.

“He’s perfect.” S abi ko bago nagbaba ng tingin sa anak namin.  “He has your nose and the shape of your face. He’s the perfect combination of us.”

Pagkaraan ng ilang sanadali ay nagsimula ng umiyak si Yvo. I watched as she pulled her hospital gown to reveal one of her perfectly round and full breasts. Inilapit niya ang anak namin sa dibdib niya. Yvo quickly latched on her nipple and suckled on it. I was wrong about what I said earlier. This was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. It looked so pure, so serene, it filled me with some form of peace. I didn’t know how to explain it but it was close to the feeling you get while watching the ocean or a beautiful sunset. Only a hundred times better. 

I reached over and carressed Yvo’s cheek with one, single finger as he sucked on Andi’s breast. 

“You’re a lucky little man, do you know that?” Sabi ko habang pinanonood siya.  “Those used to be mine.”

Andi chuckled.  “Nagseselos sa’yo ang tatay, baby.”  Then she looked at me. “From now on, you’d have to share me.”

“I know.”  I said, faking a pout before kissing her on the lips.  “Thanks for having him, Andi. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“How are you feeling?”  Tanong ko sa kanya.

“How am I feeling?”  She said as if she didn’t understand what I just asked her.

“Yeah, you just gave birth a few hours ago. Are you okay?” 

She noddded her head and smiled. “Yeah, I’m just a little tired.”

“Pagkatapos mong magpadede matulog ka na. Ako na ang bahala kay Yvo.”  Sabi ko.

Once Yvo was done, I took her from Andi and I burped and rocked him to sleep. It wasn’t long before the two of them were sleeping peacefully. I sat on the chair next to Andi and rested my head on the bed. I hadn’t realize I fell asleep too until a small knock on the door woke me up. Tinignan ko ang mag-ina ko na mahimbing pa rin na natutulog bago tumayo para buksan ang pinto.

Bumungad sa akin ang mommy at daddy ni Andi. Tinawagan ko sila kanina para sabihin sa kanila na nanganak na si Andi. Napatawad ko na sila sa ginawa nila. He had already paid for his past mistake. Masakit pa rin ang nangyari sa unang anak ko pero kailangan na namin isara ang bahaging iyon ng buhay namin. For me, forgiveness was part of the healing process.  And who was I to not forgive? 

“Congratulations, Tristan, you’re now a dad.”  He happily said, giving me a pat on the shoulder.

“Thanks, dad. Come in.”  Aya ko sa kanila.

“Where’s our grandson?”  Tanong naman ng mommy ni Andi at naglakad papasok sa kwarto. She stopped in front of the hospital bassinet where Yvo was.  “What a gorgeous baby. Harold, tignan mo, he looks just like our Andi when she was little.”

Lumapit si dad at sinilip ang sanggol.  “Hello there, little guy.”

Yvo started to move and began making small noises. 

“Aw, you woke him up.”  Mom said with a giggle.

Lumapit ako sa kanila at maingat na kinarga si Yvo para mahawakan nila.  “Anak, may bisita ka. Nandito ang lolo at lola mo.”  I softly whispered to my son.

“Oh no, I’m too young to be a lola. That just won’t do.”  She said while playing with my son’s hand, he caught her finger and cluched on it. Dad rolled his eyes smiling and I grinned back at him. Then he turned his attention to Yvo.

“Do you want to carry him?”  Tanong ko.

“Sure.”  Excited na sabi ni mom. I handed my son to her.  “Harold, parang kahapon lang buhat buhat ko si Andi. Ngayon ang baby natin may baby na.”

“Yeah.”  A nostalgic smile appeared on his face while fondly looking at his granchild. Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin.  “You better enjoy him everyday. He’ll change and grow so fast it will make you crazy.”  

I smiled at him and nodded my head. Pinanood ko lang sila habang nilalaro nila si Yvo. They were both mesmerized with our little cherub.

“Mom… dad…”  Napalingon kami kay Andi ng marinig namin siya. She was finally awake and smiling while staring at us. 

“How’s my baby?”  He asked in a concerned tone while stroking her hair.

“I’m fine, daddy.”  

“Yvo looks exactly like you when you were little.”  Sabi ni dad kay Andi.

“How are you feeling?”  Tanong naman ni mom. I took Yvo from her para maasikaso niya si Andi. 

“I feel great.”  Andi said with a wide smile on her face.

“You know, after I gave birth to you I felt like crap. Twelve hours yata akong naglabor noon.”  mom chuckled.

“Buti nga hindi niya ako masyadong pinahirapan. And Tristan made it alot easier for me.”  She looked at me lovingly.

“Isn’t it cute? Two fathers taking care of their babies.”  Sabi ni mom habang nagpalit-palit ng tingin sa amin. Andi reached out her arms to me at lumapit ako sa kanya. She took our son in her arms and held it gently. Hinalikan ko siya sa noo. Just when I thought it was impossible to love her more than I already do, she proves me wrong.

That afternoon my father and Valerie came to see Yvo too. Tuwang-tuwa si dad ng makita niya ang unang apo niya at ganun din si Valerie. 

The years had flown by so quickly and so much had happened. Yvo was now four years old. Harold died peacefully after Yvo’s first birthday. We made the best out of his remaining time and I believe that he died happy. Olivia opened her own orphanage at doon niya inilaan ang oras niya. Inimbitahan namin si Aiko at Jason noong binyag ni Yvo bilang ninang at ninong, akala ko nga hindi sila dadating but they did. Naayos na ang lahat sa pagitan namin, napatawad na nila kami. We even became good friends. Nagkamabutihan silang dalawa hanggang nauwi din sa kasalanan. Yes, Aiko and Jason got married. Who knew they’d end up together? Nang ikasal sila inimbitahan nila kami sa New York at ginawang ring bearer si Yvo. 

“Pew! Pew! Pew!”  I shot him with a water gun, he ran away from me and I pretended to miss him. Then he squirted the water gun he was holding to me. We were at our backyard playing like any other ordinary day. 

“Aaaaahhh!”  Ipinatong ko sa dibdib ko ang palad ko, kung saan niya ako natamaan ng tubig at nagkunwaring nasaktan. I dropped to the ground and just layed there. I slightly opened my eyes and saw him walking towards me.

“Tatay…”  He shook my shoulder.

Bigla ko siyang niyakap pahiga at tumawa siya.  “Drop the gun and surrender yourself!”

“No!”  He laughed, shaking his head.

“Tristan… Yvo…”  Narinig kong tawag ni Andi. Natigilan kaming dalawa at nagkatinginan.

“Naku, lagot tayo sa nanay mo.”  Sabi ko sa kanya. Agad kaming tumayo at nagtago sa likod ng puno. We watched from there as Andi walked outside. Luminga-linga siya sa paligid na parang hinahanap kami. Yvo covered his mouth, trying to surpress a laugh.

Nagkatinginan ulit kaming dalawa ng anak ko.  “Okay, on the count of three babarilin natin si nanay. One… Two… Three…”

Lumabas kami sa pinagtataguan namin at binaril ng water gun si Andi.

“Ahhh! No! Stop it, you two!”  She held up her hands as if to shield herself. “Kayo talagang mag-ama kayo!”  She grabbed my water gun and started shooting both of us. Kinarga ko si Yvo at tumakbo, he started shooting her while he laughed.

And then her gun ran out of water and when I realized it, she quickly dropped the gun and ran away from us.

“Bwahahahaha! Victory is ours!”  Sigaw ko habang hinahabol ko siya at binabaril siya ni Yvo. We chased her until she was trapped.

“Barilin mo si nanay.”  Sabi ko kay Yvo.

“No! Yvo!”  She pleaded.

He aimed the gun at his mother.  “One, two, three. Fire!”  And he shot her. Andi squealed as we squirt her with water. By the time the water gun ran out of water she was already soaking wet.

“Okay, enough!  Come on you two, time for a bath!”  Sabi ni Andi.

“Tatay!”  Yvo said as if complaining. 

“She’s the boss.”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“I don’t want a bath.”  He said, pouting his cute little lips.

“You don’t want to take a bath?”  Hinawi ni Andi ang ilang hibla ng buhok na nakatabing sa mukha ng anak namin.  “You’re way too dirty. At saka basa ka na, baka magkasakit ka.”

“We’ll take a bath together. How does that sound?”  Sabi ko sa kanya.

“Mmm…”  He paused for a moment, as if he was thinking about it.  “Okay!”

Pumasok na kami sa bahay at umakyat sa kwarto namin ni Andi papunta sa banyo. Andi already had a warm water ready in the tub. We both got in and I watched as Yvo played with his boat toy. Andi sat on the side of the tub and shampooed his hair. She was the best mother and wife anyone could ever ask for. 

When we were all finished cleaning ourselves and getting dressed we decide to visit Junjun, our first baby and Andi’s dad. Magkatabi lang ang libingan nila. Yvo knew about his ‘big angel brother’. Madalas sabihin sa kanya ni Andi na may kapatid siyang anghel and that he was looking after him.

“When will I get to play with kuya Junjun?”  Tanong ni Yvo habang nakaupo kami sa harap ng puntod ng kapatid niya.

“You can’t because he’s in heaven.”  Sagot ni Andi.

“Where’s heaven? Pwede ba tayong pumunta dun?”  He asked, innocently.

“No, baby, heaven is too far away.”  Sagot ko.  “May kalaro ka naman dito, yung mga pinsan mo at saka yung mga kaibigan mo sa orphanage.”

“But I can’t play with them all the time.”  He pouted.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Andi. Maybe Yvo wanted a sibling. I wonder if she was thinking the same thing. 

Andi’s POV

Nasa kwarto ni Yvo si Tristan, he was reading our son a bedtime story when I left them. It became our ritual, every night we’d sit next to him in his bed and read him bedtime stories. Iniwan ko muna ang mag-ama ko para makapag-shower. I put on a really sexy nightdress and waited for my husband. I decided I wanted to get pregnant again and I was going to tell Tristan.

I positioned myself when I heard the door open, laying myself on the bed with my elbows propped. He had a tired look in his eyes when he came in the room but when he saw me his eyes immediately lightened up. I guess he wasn’t so tired for this after all.

“Report for duty, my soldier of love.”  I seductively said as I opened my legs. I was only wearing an almost see through nightdress with no underwears. He stared at me for a moment and a smile formed on his lips when his eyes lowered between my legs.  

Without saying a word, he jumped on me and attacked my lips. I answered his kiss with the same intensity. And that night we made hot, passionate love.

I woke up to the feeling of his fingers running down my belly to my groin.

My husband was so instiable. We just made love last night and here he was again trying to get his morning fix.

Oh, who was I kidding? 

I was just as bad as him. 

I opened my legs wider to give him better access. He ran his finger through my slit, stopping on my clit to massage it. I let out a soft, lazy moan as I felt myself getting damp and him hardening on my back. His other hand went to my breast and started teasing and lightly pinching my nipple. I turned my head to him and he crashed his lips to me. The kiss started out slowly and grew to a hungry, passionate one. I let out another moan in his mouth when i felt him slip a finger inside of me and pumped it in and out. It made me wreathe in pleasure and I could already feel the familiar heat pooling in my stomach. I was getting close to orgasm and he knew it. He slipped another finger inside and rammed faster and harder again and again. 

“Tristan! “ I cried out as I felt the heat exploding between my legs, pulsing and throbbing. My body limped against him, my orgasm subsiding. He pulled his fingers out of me and sucked the juices of it.

“Mmm… what a great way to start the morning.” He said in a husky voice. Humarap ako sa kanya at pinagmasdan siya sandali. I could never get used to waking up next to him.

“Sundan na natin si Yvo.”  I said, breaking the silence between us.  “I want to have another baby, mahal.” 

“So do I.”  He smiled.

“Well then.”  I rolled on top of him, straddling his torso.  “Fuck a baby inside me.”

I took his rock hard shaft in my hand and lowered myself to him without breaking our gaze. I could see the need burning in his eyes and I knew my eyes were the same too.

Epilogue

Author’s Note

Guys, gusto ko lang kayong pasalamat lahat sa pagsuporta sa mga story ko. Ito ang pangalawang story na natapos ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala na isang taon na mula ng matapos ko ang unang story ko dito na Sleeping With My Rapist kung saan unang nakilala ng iba sa inyo si Tristan, Andi at pati na rin si baby Yvo at ngayon ito naman The Sex Goddess’ First Love ang natapos ko. ^_^ Sobrang salamat talaga sa pagsuporta niyo mula umpisa noong nagsisimula pa lang ako dito sa wattpad hanggang ngayon. Dumami pa kayong mga readers ko dito! Pasensya na sa bagal ng update ko dahil naging busy talaga ako. Gusto ko rin sabihin sa inyo na mapupublish na ang TSGFL!  YAY! Hindi mangyayari yun kung hindi dahil sa suporta niyo! Salamat po sa inyong lahat! I really appreciate everyone of you and the love you have shown for my stories.

Sana patuloy niyo pa rin pong suportahan ang istorya ng mga barkada nila Phoenix at Tristan. <3

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Today,we were having a picnic with Tristan’s friends. Nagbabarcue ang mga lalaki at abala naman ang mga babae sa pag-aayos ng mesa. And all the kids were happily running around, playing. The place was beautiful. It was a lush, grassy area next to a lake. 

I was holding Phoenix’s newborn baby girl in my arms. Her name was Veronica and we call her Ronnie. She was as cute as her older sister, Audrey. She had pretty dark eyes and a round angel face with red cherub cheeks. Siya yata ang pinaglilihian ko ngayon.

“Excited na ako magka-baby ulit. Sana babae naman ngayon.”  Sabi ko habang nakatingin sa baby. I was already three months pregnant. Yes, after a few months of trying to conceive nabuntis ulit ako. Tristan and Yvo were so happy when we found out we were having another baby. Yvo wanted it to be a boy and it didn’t really matter to Tristan, he said he just wanted our baby to be healthy. Ganun din naman ako pero malakas ang pakiramdam kong babae ang baby namin. I just knew it was a girl. 

“Madali na lang yang 6 months. Before you know it, you’re already holding your baby.”  Nakangiting sabi ni Cassie. Phoenix was sitting next to her with his arm around her shoulders.

“Hindi na nga makapaghintay ang mag-ama ko. Ngayon pa lang, nag-iisip na sila ng ipapangalan sa baby namin.”  I said as I played with Ronnie’s cute little hand. 

“Kain na tayo! Luto na ang pagkain.”  Sigaw ni Wayne sa amin. Tumingin ako sa mga lalaking nakapalibot sa grilling area. There were only three of them now. Hinanap ng mga mata ko si Tristan pero hindi ko siya makita. 

“Nanay!”  And then I saw Yvo running towards me, only wearing a red swim trunks. I knew it! Tinakasan na naman ako ng mag-ama ko. Pagkarating pa lang namin gusto na nilang lumangoy sa lake.

“Bakit ganyan ang suot mo?”  I asked him.

“Sabi ni tatay magswimming kami. Gusto mo sumama?”  Tanong niya.

“Pasaway talaga kayo ng tatay mo. Di ba sabi ko pagkatapos nang kumain?”  I said before turning to Cassie and handing baby Ronnie to her.  “Tatawagin ko lang ang asawa ko.”

She nodded her head. I stood up and took Yvo’s hand.  “Nasaan na ang tatay mo?”  I asked him as we were walking.

“Over there!”  He pointed at Tristan who was already in the water.

“Tristan!”  I called him.

“Mahal ko.”  He smiled, waving at me.

“Get over here!”  Sabi ko. He quickly got out of the water. Naglakad siya papunta sa amin. He stood in front of me. His hand slid gently to my belly and he wrapped the other around my waist. 

“Kumusta ang baby namin?”  He asked in a gentle voice as he carresed my belly.

“Don’t try to distract me.”  I said, trying to surpress a smile.  “Hindi ba sabi ko mamaya na kayo magswimming at kakain pa tayo.”

“I was just trying the water.”  His lips lifted in a smile.

“Your son said you two were going for a swim.”  I frowned.

“Anak.”  He looked down at Yvo and carried him in one arm.  “Di ba sabi ko secret lang natin yun?”

“Sorry, I forgot.”  He giggled that 5-year-old sunshine of a giggle.  

“It’s okay.”  Tristan smiled and kissed him on the forehead.  “Halika na! Kumain na nga tayo baka gutom na ang baby natin.”

“Oh she is!”  Sabi ko.  “And it’s her tatay and kuya’s fault.”

“She?”  Kumunot ang noo ni Tristan

“She’s a she.”  I smiled.

“How did you know?”  He asked with brows furrowed.

“I just know.” 

“Nanay, if it’s a boy can we call him Optimus Prime?”  Yvo asked, innocently.

“Optimus Prime? Magandang pangalan yan. I like it!”  Nakangiting sabi ni Tristan bago itinaas ang kamay niya.  “High five!”

And Yvo high-fived his tatay. 

“Hindi naman transformer itong baby natin.”  I rolled my eyes and couldn’t help but smile. He had such a bond with his tatay because they always do “boys stuff”. I couldn’t wait to have a baby girl so I could do girly stuff with her.  “No one’s gonna name our baby Optimus Prime!”

“What about Thor?”  Sabi ni Yvo.

“Thor is a good name, too. “  Tristan grinned sheepishly.  “If it’s a boy we’ll name our baby Thor.”

“No!”  Mariin na sabi ko.  “This is why I never let you name Junjun and Yvo.”

“Okay, here’s the deal if it’s a boy we get to name him. If it’s a girl you name her.”  Sabi niya.

“She’s a girl.”  I confidently said.  “And we’ll name her Dominique.”

“Thats my name. You want to name our daughter a guy’s name?” 

“No, the feminine version of it. Iba din spelling.” 

“Fine! If it’s a boy, it’s Thor. If it’s a girl, it’s Dominique.”  He said wrapping an arm around my shoulders while still carrying Yvo on this other arm.  “Halika na, kumain na tayo baka nagugutom na si Thor.”

“Dominique.”  I corrected.

He let out a hearty laugh before kissing the side of my head.

The Sex Goddess’ First Love BOOK

Hi guys! Sa wakas, published book na po ang TSGFL. You can finally grab your copy at all bookstore nationwide for 195php. Available din po siya sa digital bookstore na Buqo.

May special chapter akong idinagdag sa book.

Thank you po sa patuloy niyong pagsuporta sa story ni Andi at Tristan. Salamat sa mga bumili ng book at mga bibili pa. :)