He’s Back with a Trunk Full of Stories!

He’s back! Yep, he is! 

I missed him and I am sure you guys did as well! 

Before you start with Dannie’s story, I would like you guys to take note that her story will not be like Jackie’s or George’s. It will not be full of a lot of fun and craziness because–as what you might have already guessed–Dannie’s story is something I have always planned in telling, thus it is the last. The story of the boys has long been planned inside my head and I am excited to tell the last one.

I will surely miss Toto after this story (but he may be back in the future for more, right?) but let us not go think about the ending. Let us first enjoy the chapters as they go along. 

The structure of the story will be pretty much like The Plan and The Perfect Lie. You will soon find out why.

Happy reading, human readers!

Greenwriter

Prologue

I had three great women in my life.

They all differed in personality and yes, body structure.

Jackie had always been the sexy one and she always took care of me in her numerous feminine ways.

George, or Georgie as what I would usually call her, was the reckless one and I often found myself in danger whenever I was with her.

Dannie was the kind one and the only place she took me to was the church. I think I mentioned before that I found her to be the most beautiful among the three of them.

These women had greatly influenced me in so many ways that I would rather die than to choose who I’d want to be with for the rest of my life.

I had been telling their story for quite some time now and this was the last one.

Jackie’s story may be fun, crazy and exciting, but it was a normal story—one you could just easily find in movies and books.

George’s was a bit too cliché as well. Extraordinary? No, not really. It was only complicated because she was complicated.

But Dannie’s story was something else. It had started long before I even met her. I had heard little details from the people around her and I was able to put together the pieces of her past to tell a decent story. I had been delaying the time to narrate her tale because of the fact that her past was not something anyone would want to discuss over a cup of coffee during a nice afternoon. Hers was a story that I would rather not tell but I would because I had to. I had to because I wanted everyone to understand why Dannie chose the things she chose and did the things she did. I wanted everyone to realize how great she was despite everything. Her story would not be complete if we didn’t tackle her past because her past was what molded her present and probably her future.

Who am I and why do I know so much about these ladies? Well, I’m not just some nobody. I actually got a big role in the stories I tell but this is not my story. This is their story.

But fine…I got to do what I got to do, right? I have to introduce my awesome self.

My name is Toto. I am a yellow Beetle Volkswagen and I am their car.

                          a

Chapter 1

A piece of the past…

“Hey, Dannie, can I borrow your assignment?” George asked her that morning. Dannie checked the watch across the room.

“You have ten minutes before Ms. Salazar arrives,” she said to her seatmate and friend.

Jackie looked over her shoulder excitedly and said to them, “The girls in the comfort room were talking about a new transferee. They said they heard some of the teachers talking about it. You think he’d be cute?”

George did not answer, too focused on copying everything from Dannie’s paper. Dannie just shrugged, worried about her homework being passed around the class.

“Hey, Danica, can we borrow your homework?” Lee asked from behind.

“Why didn’t anyone make their own during the semestral break?” she asked aloud in frustration.

“Because the break has been a long one and we forgot about it,” answered Miguel from behind George, already peeking over her shoulder to look at Dannie’s paper.

When the people seated in front of the class grew quiet, Dannie grabbed her paper from George’s desk and sat upright. Ms. Salazar arrived and with her was the transferee Jackie was talking about. Her friend was beaming and fixing her hair at the same time as their handsome new classmate was introduced to the class.

While Ms. Salazar made everyone stand up to take their assigned seats (after a lot of muttering from everyone who had already chosen seats beside their friends), Dannie was secretly looking at the new transferee, Troy Brady. He had dark, wavy hair that touched the white collar of his school uniform. His nose was nearly perfect, his eyes round. She couldn’t figure out what color they were without being noticed by him but she guessed they were lighter than the usual dark ones of the men around school. But despite his handsome assets, it was his lips that drew her attention. They seemed to be naturally smiling though he was just standing a few feet away from her, holding his bag. The other girls were looking at him and Jackie even seemed to be gaping beside George. For a moment, Dannie was one of the girls fascinated with the new handsome male student in class.

“Ms. Berlin!” Ms. Salazar was almost shouting and Dannie was pushed forward by one of the guys behind her. Ms. Salazar was pointing at a seat in the second row. She dutifully walked toward it and sat down. “Mr. Brady,” Ms. Salazar continued, pointing the seat next to Dannie.

Dannie swallowed her anxiety as Troy Brady walked with an easy and confident grin on his face toward her.

“Hi,” said her new half-American half-Filipino seatmate.

Dannie gave a small nod and looked away, mentally drilling a hole through the blackboard. She erased the thoughts of Troy Brady making friends with her or liking her. He was obviously out of her reach.

PRESENT DAY

We were all excited except one guy.

If Troy Brady was excited, it didn’t show on his face because he was looking like he was about to pee his dark jeans. And if the concrete ground could only grumble, it would have already woken up the entire city of Bacolod because Troy had been pacing on it back and forth like a crazed woman about to go on labor.

“Can you stop that?” Jackie asked him with irritation. “If you can’t wait, you better go home and help out Dean and Jordan.”

Troy ignored her and checked his watch. He walked toward Tata who was parked beside me and my pick-up truck friend and I both sighed in relief. Troy leaned against his truck and tried to compose himself.

Tata, can you tell me why the two of you came again?

Tata ignored my sarcastic question. She knew I knew why.

Georgie was getting restless too. She checked her watch and leaned against my hood with her arms crossed over her chest. She was sitting beside Jackie.

All of us were waiting for one person and it had been almost an hour since we arrived.

I couldn’t believe I would be in such situation after all the years I had spent with the boys. I had never imagined myself doing this. But here I was. Here we were.

It was sad and joyful at the same time.

My thoughts flew out my windows when I spotted the familiar figure walking toward us. From the way her steps vibrated the concrete parking lot, I knew it was her.

Georgie and Jackie also spotted her and they both jumped away from me to meet her with excited steps. Troy seemed to have turned to stone from waiting because he did not move and inch. But I saw the familiar look on his eyes whenever Dannie’s name was mentioned. It was longing.

Oh, Troy my boy, I am so freaking feeling sorry for you right now. I know we should all be happy right now what with the wedding and all, but I feel for you, my boy. I feel for you. And I hurt with you as well.

Tata told me to shut up because Geogie and Jackie were walking back toward us and walking with them was Dannie baby.

Gas could have poured out my headlights as I watched her walking toward me with her usual gentle smile. But that smile slowly faded when her eyes spotted Troy who remained motionless against Tata.

And then, as if things were back to their normal places like one year ago, Troy jumped to his two feet and walked toward the boys with that sheepish grin of his.

“Danica, it’s good to finally see you wearing normal clothes,” he said in a tone he usually used to taunt her.

Dannie baby frowned at him and asked, “Why are you here?”

“What? I can’t join these two into welcoming you back into the real world?” he asked.

“I am not back. I am out for the holidays and the wedding.”

Troy shrugged. “Who knows? You might not come back in there,” he said, motioning his head toward the convent.

Jackie shot Troy a look before Dannie baby could say a word and distracted everyone by saying, “We better get going. Dean and Jordan are waiting at the apartment and we can’t leave all the cooking with those two.”

Georgie was picking up her ringing phone as they walked toward me. “Hey, Lee, where are you? Are you and Miguel coming? You have to tell us now or you will go hungry.”

Hey, Dannie baby, my Dannie baby, did you miss me? I asked her before she climbed inside me.

“Hey, there, Toto. Missed me?” she asked, looking at me with longing.

Hell yes! Come on, hop in!

Troy was looking at Dannie silently, his eyes almost blank and lost.

Tata, you better strap that boy well. He’s about to lose his mind.

“See you back at the apartment,” Jackie said to Troy before she climbed in my passenger seat and shut the door. Dannie looked at Troy through my backseat window as Georgie led me out of my parking space.

After one whole year, I was driving with my three boys again.

But I couldn’t help but have the feeling that things would start to go crazy now that Dannie baby was back.

Chapter 2

A piece of the past…

Dannie walked the narrow pathway toward home with easy steps. Though her feet with at ease with the maze-like twists and turns of the familiar path her heart and mind were nowhere near calm. She could feel her heart start to hammer against her chest. But she had to face what was coming like she did for years.

She could hear her mother’s angry voice from behind the door as she stood outside. Children from around the squatter-infested she called her neighborhood almost threw her off her feet as they ran past her.

She knew she would regret opening the door but she did just that like she had for years. What greeted her were her mother’s shouts as she stood before her husband with hands on her hips talking about how he spent the afternoon drinking. Her father shouted back at his wife and Dannie silently made her way to her room which had a curtain that served as a door. There was just one bed and in it lay the only person she came home to every day.

“Hey,” she whispered to her sister as she placed her bag at one corner.

Her younger sister just smiled at her and asked, “Did you bring me something?”

No, because she had not received her allowance from her benefactors yet. Then she remembered something. “Jackie gave me something before we left school. It’s nothing but she hoped you’ll like it.” She went to her bag and took out the orange headband from her friend.

Tessa, who was one year younger, smiled as she pushed herself from the bed with what was left of her strength. Dannie handed her the band and watched her sister admire it.

“Danica! Are you home?!” her mother’s voice cried out from outside.

“Yeah,” she answered back.

“What the hell are you doing in there? Get your ass out here and cook supper!”

“Coming,” she answered again, standing up from her sister’s bed.

 

PRESENT DAY

“I am so excited now that you decided to spend your vacation outside the convent,” Jackie said from the passenger seat with her usual exaggerated tone of excitement that usually contagious.

“Of course, where else would I go?” Dannie asked, looking outside my window. “It seems that things are still the same,” she noted.

“Don’t be silly, Dannie. You’ve only been gone a year. Not a lot has changed,” Georgie said without taking her eyes off the road. Lately she had been more careful, especially after that incident where I almost got freaking killed. And Jordan had her on a leash. Well, not really because she would not obviously allow that, knowing her. But it was still a leash of some kind that mellowed down most of Georgie’s extremeness.

“A lot has changed,” Dannie baby contradicted. “One of you is getting married. That’s BIG.”

“Well, yeah, you can say that,” Georgie admitted.

“I was really surprised when you told me the news,” Dannie said.

Oh, don’t mention it, Danny baby. You wouldn’t want to know my reaction. I would not dare tell the tale but it was out in the open now. Vicky, Beatle, Dee and even Nomad knew about my stupid reaction.

Honestly, I shouted something like, “Who’s gonna take me now?!” when I heard the freaking proposal. Because, really, if one of them was getting married, it meant I was in trouble. Dannie was spending her time becoming a nun and she would not surely be needing me like the past one year. That only left the other two and one of them was getting married which meant I would only be used by the other one who was bound to get married someday as well and who would take me then? Where would I go?! Those were my concerns and those thoughts still bothered me every now and then.

“I was surprised, too,” Georgie answered Dannie.

“Me too. It was just a shock,” Jackie said in agreement. “I can’t believe a lot has changed for the past two years. I mean for the three of us.”

Georgie just nodded and Dannie just looked out the window. There was something in her eyes and her silence that told me she was thinking about the things that happened to before she left for the convent.

Before we arrived at the apartment, Dannie asked aloud, “Has my mother dropped by the apartment by any chance?”

That took us all by surprise but Georgie and Jackie knew better than me because they were both fast to recover.

Jackie answered, “No.”

That was the end of it.

But it did not stop me from wondering about the real reason why Dannie baby entered the convent. I wanted to believe it was because of her strong faith and conviction to serve God but I couldn’t help but think that she had other reasons. Maybe Dannie locked herself in the convent not to fulfill her heart’s desires but to escape its fears.

---

“Do you pray every day?” Troy asked.

Everyone looked at him incredulously.

“What?” he asked, looking lost. “I don’t know what happens inside a convent.”

Jordan turned away from his task of skewing pork for their barbeque later to say, “You’ve been bombarding Dannie with questions since you got here. Give her a break, man.”

“Well, thank the heavens someone has finally heard my prayers,” Dannie uttered with a sigh, standing up to join Jackie and Dean making the dessert. “And yes, we do pray every day.”

“Did you get what I sent you last month?” he asked, following behind her.

“Stop with the questions, Troy. I want some silence right now.”

“I thought you have had enough of that since you’ve just walked out of a convent.” Then his face lit up with excitement as he said, “Hey, I have a better idea. Why don’t we go to Art District tonight?”

“No,” everyone answered.

Dannie saw his face fell with his shoulders. “Why?”

“Dannie’s tired.”

“No, she’s not. She just walked out of the convent. I was there. She did not get here by plane. There was no traffic. She did not really do anything. Are you tired?” he asked her innocently.

She gave him the usual look she had developed only for him from the day she met him and he held up his hands and stepped back. “Okay. Some other time then?”

When she did not answer, he walked back to his chair and fished out his phone out of his pocket. “Can I invite some friends over?”

“Unless they are Lee and Miguel, no you can’t,” answered Jackie. “If it is another lady friend, you know the answer to that, Troy.”

Dannie frowned. “Another lady friend?”

Jackie rolled her eyes as she carefully sliced a mango. “He brought a woman here last week and they were both so drunk. I can’t believe you let him go in that state, really,” she added to Dean.

“He was gone before I could stop them,” Dean said dryly.

“So he still brings women here?” Dannie asked.

“Of course. But now he brings them here wasted unlike before. I don’t know. He’s been drinking more often than usual, right Dean.”

Dannie stared at Dean but the guy just shrugged, avoiding her gaze.

---

After the barbeque, my boys decided to spend the rest of the night with Jordan and Dean outside the apartment, drinking coffee. Lee and Miguel already left to go to Art District. Troy joined them an hour later.

They were talking about the wedding, but nothing about Dannie or her mother or even Troy. Everyone knew it was a touch subject, especially after what happened one year ago. Though they all acted normal I got a feeling that they were all still adjusting with the changes.

Jam joined them for a talk and he too drove off with Nomad to go somewhere.

Jordan and Dean left when the coffee was over.

“Be careful, the two of you,” Jackie told them as they walked to Vicky aka Victor and Beatle.

“The wedding’s in a month. We don’t want any accidents,” Jackie added.

“No groom, no wedding,” Georgie said dryly with a sigh.

The three great women in my life waved the men off and disappeared back inside the apartment. I was nearly in tears of gas just imagining them being together again. I had missed this. It had been too long for me and now they were complete. If only they could all be together for a long time…Just like old times, right? But Dannie was only back for the holidays and the wedding. She’d be locked away in the convent soon and it was tearing my engines just by thinking about it.

I was thinking of many things that night when I realized someone was driving toward me.

Tata? What are you doing here?

My friend did not answer, of course. She knew I’d find out anyway. And I sure did.

Oh, oh, this is not good! What the hell, Troy my boy! What are you doing?!

He did not hear me, of course. He jumped off Tata with a stupid grin on his face and wobbled his way toward the apartment.

Is he drunk? I asked Tata. Of course, he was! But wait…who the hell is this?!

A woman dressed to almost nothing was also climbing out of Tata and she was giggling for no apparent reasons.

Not again!

“Shhh!” Troy addressed the pretty almost-nude lady with a laugh. He walked toward the door of the apartment and knocked twice.

“Are you sure this is right? We can always go to your place,” the lady said in a whisper which came out louder than intended.

Get her out of here, stupid! I shouted at Troy.

But no one ever listened to me. Troy knocked again and a few seconds later, the door opened.

It was Dannie baby.

---

Dannie frowned up at Troy’s drunken state. “You’re drunk,” she pointed out, holding the door in place so he could not barge in.

“Of course not. But I am so freaking tired, Danica. Can we spend the night here?” he asked, his eyes droopy.

“We?” she asked, her eyes flying over his shoulder and that was when she saw the dark-haired beauty smiling behind him. She returned her gaze at him and said, “You know I just came back here, right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And you decided this is the best time for you to bring a woman here and you are both drunk. Nothing really changed with you, Troy.”

“Stop with the lecture, teacher Danica,” Troy lazily said. “I mean SISTER Danica. I almost forgot.” His eyes looked down at her like they did one year ago before she left for the convent.

“She’s a nun?!” the lady behind Troy asked in surprise.

Troy continued to stare at Danica, his face more calm and the smile on his face more gentle. And then it disappeared the moment he blinked and took a deep breath. “Yeah,” he answered the lady. “Can we come in? Really, Danica, we need a place to stay.”

“Go find a hotel, inn or motel somewhere.”

“You will let me drive around the city in this state? Come on. Just one night. We won’t do anything.”

“Yes, we won’t,” the lady chimed in.

Dannie stared at both of them, weighing the matter. She finally stepped back and opened the door to let them in. “Don’t do anything stupid, Troy or I’ll kick you out myself.”

He grinned down at her and held up his hand. “I promise.” He then turned to the lady behind him and took her hand to lead her to the carpeted living room.

Dannie’s eyes followed their clasped hands for a few seconds before she faced the door to lock it.

When turned back, the two were already cuddling on the carpet, eyes closed and whispering into each other’s ears.

“Troy, remember what I told you,” she warned before she entered her room.

“Sure, sure,” he absently answered without looking at her.

Dannie sighed and closed herself inside her old room.

As she lay on bed, the memories of last year flashed before her eyes.

“You have to think hard about this, Danica,” Troy had said.

“I already did and this is my final decision. Stop looking at me like that. It’s not like you. You should be happy the fun-spoiler is going away.”

He shook his head, his expression incredulous yet patient at the same time. “I can’t let you go like this. Just stay a few more months and try to think more about it.”

“Troy, just accept my decision like Jackie and George did.”

“Danica, I have more reasons why I can’t let you go.”

She frowned and her heart started to race. She did not dare ask why. He leaned over to peer at her with a serious look on his face. She tried to look away but his eyes locked hers in a strong and intense gaze.

“I love you. Not just as a friend. I’ve loved you for a long time and I’ve been meaning to tell you and it has been making me crazy. And if there is any part in you that considers the same level of affection, don’t go. We have to give this a shot. I am ready to give it a shot, Danica.”

Dannie closed her eyes to block out the memory. She had made her decision a year ago. She should not be bothered now that Troy had moved on. She reminded herself the same answer she gave him last year. They could never be more than just friends.

Chapter 3

A piece of the past…

Dannie entered the classroom with her head bent, her long black hair covering both sides of her face like a curtain. Jackie and George were not yet around and she sighed with relief. She briskly walked to her assigned seat and pretended to look for something in her bag.

“You know, you look like this girl in a Japanese movie I watched over the weekend. Have you heard of the movie The Ring?” Troy Brady’s familiar voice said beside her. She knew he was talking to her but she ignored him, rummaging her bag for nothing in particular. “Hey, Danica, did you hear me?”

Dannie started to feel irritated. It had only been a week since he joined their class and he had already changed a lot. He made a lot of friends, especially with Lee and Miguel. And he always made sure that he would irritate her at least once a day. She regretted being infatuated with him from the start. He was turning out to be like every other teenage guy around school.

“I am busy,” she muttered under her breath as she took out a book, swung in her chair to face the front and read.

“You don’t usually leave your hair untied,” Troy said. “What’s wrong? Are you hiding swollen eyes? Did you cry yourself to sleep last night?”

“Leave me alone, Troy,” she warned.

He fell silent and she thought he went away to find Lee and Miguel. But his next words surprised her. “Is that a bruise on your hand?” he asked.

“I bumped into something. Can you quit it? I need to study.”

“Were you hurt?” he asked.

“Quit it, Brady.”

“Fine,” he said, holding up his hands.

As he walked away, Troy looked over at Dannie’s bent head with a frown. He saw not just one bruise, but two more on her upper arm. He shrugged. If she was not talking, he’d better find other reliable sources. He smiled when he saw one of them enter the door. “Jackie!” he called out with a smile.

PRESENT DAY

Dannie stepped out of her room, expecting it to be empty. She knew Jackie and George went out for work and had the whole day on her own to do some errands she volunteered to do for the wedding. She ended up disappointed.

“What are you still doing here?” she asked Troy who was busy cooking something in the kitchen.

He looked over his shoulder and said, “Danica! I almost forgot you’re here,” he said with a laugh. “Don’t worry, we’ll not bother you for long. We’ll just eat and then we’re gone.”

Dannie frowned. “We?”

“Yeah. Me and…” he finally turned away from the stove and frowned, his eyes looking up in concentration.

Dannie looked at him dryly. “You can’t remember her name, can you?”

“Of course, I can. I just need something to eat to refresh my mind.”

She arched an eyebrow and shook her head. “Where is she?”

“In the bath,” he answered in a whisper.

“This is not your place. You know that, right?”

“Why are you being difficult, Danica?” he asked. “You just came back for a short stay and you’re wasting your time fighting.”

“Because you are still the same. You bring women here all the time because you know they will never dare come back to our place. And you can’t always remember their names. You let them shower in our bathroom like it is your place. You cook and eat like you live here. I just came back and I have things to do for the wedding and I can’t babysit you or that woman whose name we both don’t know and I am sure we will never meet again after this,” she said breathlessly.

And at that very moment the bathroom door opened and the girl from last night walked out, her hair wet and her dress a bit drenched after taking it on after her shower and her face seriously mad.

Dannie almost slapped herself. The girl must have heard everything. “I need to get inside my room,” she murmured under her breath. “You sort this out, Troy,” she added when Troy tried to stop her.

She walked straight to her room and locked herself in. And the shouting started.

“You bastard! I knew it! I am just one of those ladies you play around with, right? And I thought you really did like me. I fell into your trap!”

“Hey, look, calm down…” Troy tried to say.

“Get your hand off me! What’s my name, huh? What’s my name?”

“Look, let’s calm down for a moment and talk like civilized adults.”

“I can’t believe I let you take me here last night! I should have backed away the moment you said you can’t take me to your place! I should have slapped you last night when you kept muttering another woman’s name! It’s that girl, is it? Her name is Danica, right? You like her but can’t get her, right? Is that why you took me here?”

Dannie felt blood drain down her head when she heard her name.

“Hey, calm down.”

“I am not stupid, Troy Brady! I am not that stupid to piece things together, you idiot! Go to hell because I don’t ever want to see you again! And Danica or whoever you are,” the lady’s angry voice said right at the other side of Dannie’s door, “why don’t you just give this guy what he wants? You might just save a lot of women from trouble!”

It took less than ten seconds before Dannie heard the front door swing open and slam shut.

And then there was total silence.

She didn’t want to go out until Troy was gone. She didn’t think she could face him right now. She was still in shock by the woman’s revelations. It seemed that everything around her stopped and the only thing that assured her she was still alive was the frantic beating of her heart against her chest. Questions rallied inside her head, shouting and demanding to be heard and she tried to shut them off by shaking her head. She had to handle this like she always did in the past.

“I’m sorry about that,” Troy’s voice said from behind the door.

Dannie did not answer.

“Hey, Danica, don’t take that seriously. She’s just plain crazy. And I did NOT mention your name last night. Why would I, right? I think I mentioned someone named Dana and Karen and I tangled both names together she thought it was Danaka or Danica or whatever. But I did not utter your name last night—”

Dannie stopped his senseless babbles by suddenly opening her bedroom door and brushed him aside to walk to the kitchen. “I don’t care what you did or said last night. As you have said, why would you even mention my name, right?” She forced her eyes to look at him, still standing beside her door looking surprised. “Right?” she asked, desperate for him to agree because she didn’t know what to do otherwise.

Troy blinked, looked at her for a few seconds longer with his lips pursed together. He finally nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, right. Why would I mention your name?” he uttered with a scoff. He then shook his head and it was as if someone pushed a button and he was back to his normal Troy Brady self. He walked back to the stove, passing by her. “But you’re right. I should not bring them here again. They can really cause some trouble. I should probably have them take me to their place next time.”

“Glad you finally figured out the best way to deal with your crazy nightly activities,” she snapped at him as she walked to pour herself a cup of coffee. “When are you going home?” she asked before taking a sip from her cup.

She saw his jaw clench but his face was not at all frustrated as he looked at her. He was arching one eyebrow and looked at her dryly. “I haven’t even eaten and you’re kicking me out already. Nuns would never do such a thing. They would welcome everyone,” he said, spreading his arms wide open while holding a spoon with one hand, “with warm embrace. Which, by the way, reminds me that you have not given me one—” He added the last sentence by turning toward her with arms still stretched out.

“Don’t you dare come near me,” she warned.

He did not drop his arms or the spoon. “What? You even gave Dean and Jordan a peck and a hug when you arrived. What you gave me instead was a sad question that states, ‘Why are you here?’ Do you remember? I drove all the way to greet you outside that convent and all I got were those four words I never want to hear again in one sentence altogether.”

Dannie sighed when she realized he was not backing out or going home if she did not give in. “Fine. I am so glad to see you, Troy,” she finally said, taking two steps forward to initiate the hug. She was still holding her cup and he was still holding his spoon. Dannie almost regretted it because his embrace took longer than she intended and it was not getting any loose. In fact, it seemed that his arms tightened around her every second and his face was almost covered by her hair. “Okay, stop it now. Finish your breakfast and go home.”

He seemed to not have heard a word.

“Troy. My coffee is still hot for your information,” she said with warning.

“I missed you, Danica,” he told her without loosening his grip.

“Yeah. And I missed you too. But I think I want to have my personal space back now, please.”

She heard him sigh before he finally tore himself away from her. She did not get to see the look on his face because he suddenly turned away to go back to his cooking using the spoon in his hand.

“I have to get ready. Have a lot of errands to do today. Be sure to lock up when you leave.”

“Sure,” he said, the laughter in his voice sounded a bit forced.

They both had to endure the consequences of their decisions, she thought as she walked back to her room. They may both not admit it but their friendship had changed so much after that day he confessed. They may think or try to act like they were okay in the surface, but Dannie knew better. What she had with Troy Brady was no longer the same as one year ago.

---

When she emerged from her bedroom half an hour later, Troy was not there.

“He did not even say goodbye,” she said out loud, shaking her head in disbelief. “But at least he locked the door.”

Before she left for the convent, she left everything she owned behind though she didn’t have to and that included her phone. Now that she was back for the holidays and the wedding, she found she needed it back—temporarily. It started ringing just as when she was about to get out of the apartment. “Yes, Jackie.”

“Hey, did you go to the florist?” her friend asked in a whisper.

“I am just about to leave the apartment. Why are you whispering?”

“I am at work. Dean will kill me if he finds out I am doing other things other than work,” Jackie explained in a rush. “Text me if you get there and send me the photos.”

Her friend clicked off even before she could say goodbye. Dannie shrugged and opened the door. She didn’t know but she half-expected Tata to be parked outside. The vehicle was not there, but Toto was.

---

Hey, Dannie baby! Ready for a ride? But please, ensure that your license is not expired. Don’t forget that I am highly sensitive to bumps and all that because you know, my insides are not that strong. You can still drive, right?

Dannie baby opened my door and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of nostalgia. I had missed her hands on my steering wheel, her gentle grips. I missed her feet working on my pedals. I missed her so much I wanted to cling on to her with my seatbelt forever.

Why did you even have to go? Why? We could have stayed the same like one year ago. Things didn’t have to change. You could have continued teaching in that school. You could have continued going to church and I wouldn’t have complained. Why did you have to go?

I was very emotional as we drove to the direction of the church where she used to take me to visit the children and the nuns.

This was the church chosen for the wedding so Dannie must have been asked to finalize the details. The bride and groom were busy people after all. And they knew Dannie could see this one through without a problem.

Dannie’s phone rang as she started to climb off me. She did that first and locked me up before she answered it.

“Hey, George,” she said. “I am at the church right now. Yeah, I know that’s what the groom wants. Yes, I’ll go to the florist. Where are you? The HQ? I’ll drop by later with the details. Yes, of course. I’ll text Jackie. ‘Bye.”

She stared at the phone for a moment with a smile. Don’t tell me you miss that phone, Dannie baby. That’s just too sentimental. She finally looked up and threw her phone back in her bag.

I watched her walk to the direction of the office and patiently waited. I had missed this place. Ever since Dannie went to the convent, my church visits started to lessen because Jackie and Georgie went to different churches with their boyfriends. No one wanted an old Beetle Volkswagen for the weekends anyway, I thought. The guys had their own vics to drive and I was left with no one else.

After almost an hour, Dannie reappeared and she was walking toward me with a familiar nun. She was one of the sisters who knew Dannie very well.

Sister Gertrude was old and kind-looking. She sort of had that natural smiling lips and the laugh lines around her eyes and mouth were signs that she was one hell of a happy lady.

“Visit us again soon, okay?” she asked Dannie as they neared.

“Of course. When I come back, I’ll make sure the children are here.”

“You better. They’ve been asking for you for a long time. They were surprised to know you entered the convent. But not as much as we were.”

Dannie gently laughed. “You should have seen it coming.”

“No, we didn’t. We knew your faith was strong but we also thought you were meant for something else. And you told me about that boy you want to be with, remember?”

I saw Dannie flush in surprise. “That was a long time ago, Sister. Now I devote myself to serving God and those who need his love.”

The nun just looked at her and smiled.

Holy gas! Say what?!

My engines almost turned themselves on in surprise.

As the sister walked away and Dannie climbed right inside me, all my sentiments went off my exhausts because now I got more things to think about. Dannie gripped my steering wheel tightly for a long time, her face serious, but there were other things behind that as well and I just couldn’t point it out. Was it pain, regret, confusion, sadness? I was not sure. Maybe it was a mixture of all that.

Hmmm…interesting.

I grinned inwardly (if cars could actually do that).

Well, well, well…it seems that I have some investigating to do. Someone entered the convent for some other reasons other than the Almighty.

Chapter 4

A piece of the past…

He hid in the shadows, fear slowly creeping in.

The place was not one he frequented. As a matter of fact, it was one he never thought he would see—or even be at. But he chose to do this so he better see it through.

She turned into an alleyway and he waited for a few seconds before he followed.

He never imagined she lived in such neighborhood. His looks attracted a few people he passed by and he hoped none would take interest in him to the point that they would take advantage of him.

Troy lost sight of Dannie but he found her after taking the right turn. She was standing outside a house that did not look livable at all. A man walked up to her. The man was naked except for a pair of tattered basketball shorts and he was talking to Dannie. She said something back and the next thing Troy saw was the man pushing Dannie toward the door with an angry shout.

PRESENT DAY

“We still have a lot of things to do,” Jackie groaned as she forked on her cake without eating. They were outside Calea, waiting for Jordan. She looked at George, who was almost done with her mud pie, with a cringe, saying, “You know the wedding is in a month, right? You don’t want to gain some weight. Our gowns are all ready for the wedding, George.”

“I don’t care,” George answered with her mouth full of chocolate. “There are people who can make adjustments for my gown.”

Jackie shook her head and met Dannie’s gaze before she rolled her eyes. Then they went to Dean sitting beside her and her face turned sour once more. “What are you doing?”

Dean was hunched over his tab, preoccupied with a game.

“This is my last warning, Dean. I am serious,” Jackie told him.

“Just let it go, Jackie,” Dannie said with amusement.

“You did not just say that,” Jackie said with horror. “Do you know how many hours he spends on that stupid game? Ask George.”

Dannie turned her attention to her other friend and the lady was nodding her head. “Jordan spends more time on that game as well.”

“I am almost done, so please stop front-stabbing me,” Dean said as he tapped vigorously on his tab.

Jackie looked as if she finally decided to ignore Dean and went back to their previous topic. “Since Dean here seems not to care about the wedding or Christmas or New Year, let us do the planning.”

“What do you have in mind?” Dannie asked.

“My head’s in a jumble. How about you, George? Any suggestions?”

“I can’t even wrap my head around the wedding as of the moment,” George admitted. “How did the church visit go, Dannie?”

“It’s all set. I’ve arranged the venue. The church wants to know what music is going to be played inside the church beforehand though so you have to give me a list.”

Jackie nodded and wrote on her pad.

“How about the flowers?”

Dannie took out a piece of paper from her bag and handed it to Jackie. “That’s the list brochure with a list of prices.”

“We should have just decided for a wedding planner, you know,” George said with a sigh as she leaned against her chair.

“The wedding has to have a more personal touch,” answered Jackie. “So we just need to choose the set of flowers. Then the music. And there’s food.”

“I know someone who caters great food.”

The three ladies turned their heads toward Dean who decided to join the conversation, much to their surprise.

“Oh, so now you are joining us?” Jackie shot at him.

He ignored her and looked at George and Dannie instead. “I know someone who is a great cook. Her name is Rock. I believe Jordan knows her as well.”

“Rock?” George asked.

“Racquel Chua or something,” Dean said. “Anyway, I think Jordan mentioned her one time when we were talking about the wedding.”

“You talk about the wedding food. Great,” Jackie uttered. “Well, at least you still talk about it. We want to meet this Rock girl.”

“Get her number from Jordan. He knows her.”

Jackie wrote the reminder on her pad. “How about the reception?”

Before anyone could answer, Jordan appeared and sat beside George. “What’s up?”

“I just told them about Rock,” Dean told him.

“Give us her number,” George ordered and he immediately fished for his phone. He gave the number and left the planning with the three ladies as he and Dean talked about the latest games they were addicted to and they did it as if they were talking about a very important business.

---

I was finally alone again with Dannie baby when they finally decided to go and have dinner at the apartment. Dean and Jordan, of course, had to drive the other two home.

What’s wrong, Danny baby? I asked her. Most of the time I knew what my boys were feeling just by the way they grip my steering wheel and at that very moment, Dannie was not feeling so good. I got a good feeling why. Though she was planning to be a full-fledged nun, she was after all human. She just finished her first year of Postulancy which was not enough (in my opinion) to build a very strong foundation for a life in the convent. She might be feeling down now that one of her best friends was planning a wedding and one would surely be walking down the aisle in no time as well. Now that she was away from her convent life, out in the world once again, she must be feeling that everyone was moving on with their lives and she was being left behind.

Of course, I was no perfect car to be certain about it, but that was just a hunch. And I am pretty good with hunches, you know. Always had been.

Don’t worry, Dannie baby. I am not leaving you. I can be the new car of the convent if you really opt for that life. But I would rather want to stay here, outside, you know, where all the groove and pretty vics are. But I could sacrifice my remaining mileage for you if that’s what’s going to make you happy.

---

They ordered Dean and Jordan to make dinner as they continued with the planning. They put aside wedding plans for the moment as they talked about Christmas and New Year.

Just as when they were arguing about Christmas eve, Troy, Lee and Miguel arrived with a few drinks.

“Well, well, well,” Troy said with a wicked grin. His eyes hovered over Dannie for a moment before he went straight to the kitchen to join Dean and Jordan. “It seems that the groom is practicing for marriage life,” he said with a laugh.

“It suits you, man,” Lee uttered as he placed three bottles of wine on the table.

“Take that somewhere else, Lee,” Jackie snapped at him. “We’re busy here.”

“We forgot to buy the chips,” Miguel, already sprawled on the carpet in the living room.

“Where were we?” George asked, ignoring the men.

“Christmas. And I was saying I am really okay spending it with the sisters. The kids will be there and I want to spend more time with them before I return to the convent,” Dannie said.

“But—” Jackie started but Dannie held up her hand to stop her.

“You go spend Christmas with your family. And Dean’s parents would want to see you, right?”

Her friend looked worried but nodded anyway.

“That’s settled then. Jackie, you spend Christmas at home with your family and Dean’s. George, you spend it with yours and Jordan’s.”

“You are very much welcome to join us,” Jordan told Dannie, looking over his shoulder at her.

“Guys, I am really fine spending Christmas eve with the sisters. I’ve always wanted to do that. They already invited me over and I said yes.”

Troy turned away from Jordan and Dean and faced her with a frown. “You’re spending Christmas at church?”

She arched her eyebrow. “Is there a problem with that?”

He stepped back and held up his hands before him. “I am not saying anything, Danica. I just asked.”

“Well, yes, I am.”

“Okay, then. See? I asked a question, you answered. That was not very complicated, right?”

“You guys, stop it.” Jackie’s voice was tired when she said it. “Can’t we just—” A knock on the door stopped her words and the guys looked at the ladies with question.

“You guys expecting someone?”

Jackie, George and Dannie shook their heads.

“Maybe it’s Jam,” Dean guessed.

“Or another lady friend of our friend here,” Dannie said, shooting Troy a look.

“I did not invite anybody—” Another knock.

“Miguel, answer the door,” George ordered.

“Why me?” Miguel asked.

“You are closest to the door.”

“This is not my place and—”

“Just answer it!” everyone else shouted at the same time.

“Fine, fine,” he said with a groan as he stood up. He went to the door, turned the knob and opened it.

Everyone had stopped whatever they were doing, waiting in anticipation.

“Uh, boys, you have a visitor,” Miguel said, his voice full of awkwardness as he swung the door wider.

Dannie’s heart began to hammer and she felt blood draining down her face when she saw the woman outside the door.

Jackie and George immediately shot to their feet.

Everyone was speechless.

Except Troy who snapped, “What the hell is she doing here?”

Jackie and George were not moving for a few more seconds until Dannie uttered, “I don’t want to see her.”

But before her two friends could move to do something, Troy was already at the door, blocking Dannie’s view of the woman outside. She didn’t care what Troy was saying to the woman or that Lee walked to join him and Miguel at the door. She didn’t care because she was too focused to calming her racing heart and heavy breathing.

It seemed to have taken the three guys forever to talk to the woman. Dannie did not even notice that Jackie and George got over their surprise and joined the guys at the door. It was only until later when the door was completely shut once more and Jackie, George, Troy, Lee and Miguel were looking down at her with concern that she realized the woman was gone. Her panic ebbed away.

“Are you okay?” Troy asked.

“I don’t want to see her again.”

“She won’t be coming back. We made sure of that,” George told her.

Dannie slowly nodded her head. She was aware that Jordan and Dean were curious about what happened. She didn’t care what they thought. All she wanted at the moment was to get as far away as possible. Her mother was the only person in her life she didn’t want to see. Having had a glimpse of the woman’s face brought back her darkest memories.

Chapter 5

A piece of the past…

They were having their lunch together, just the three of them, while listening to the school radio inside the classroom. They didn’t like spending lunch outside, especially the canteen unlike everybody else. George and Jackie always had packed lunches from their homes and they shared their food with Dannie most of the time.

Dannie knew her friends noticed the bruises all over her arms, George most especially because her friend’s jaw clenched every time her eyes hovered her arms. But since it was lunch time and it was one of the precious moments they could have for themselves without the presence of teachers or classmates, her two best friends chose to let it slide.

Their lunch hour was usually spent talking about fun things such as school gossips, most often involving teachers being too difficult and of course, the latest news on students. And at that time, the hottest news was about another girl from another class who tore another girl’s bag with a razor because of a guy and that guy was no other than Troy Brady.

Jackie’s ecstatic narration of the event immediately stopped when Troy came in all of a sudden with his two new friends, Miguel and Lee. They had unbuttoned their white uniform shirts, revealing their white plain shirts inside and the three of them were smiling as they approached.

“Hey, boys,” Troy greeted.

Jackie frowned. “Boys?”

“George, Jackie,” Troy said their names one by one, looking at each of Dannie’s friends with a wicked grin and then finally at her, “and Dannie. Your names sound manly so we decided to call you boys.”

“Yep. We just talked about it during lunch, actually,” explained Miguel.

“And we thought it would be cool to let you BOYS know before the whole school does.”

Jackie did not like the news because her nostrils were flaring with anger. She was too feminine to be called a boy. George just looked at the three guys standing before them with a bored look on her face. Dannie chose to stay silent.

“Hey, Danica,” Troy said, moving to stand before her.

“What?”

“Can I borrow your homework on Statistics?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t do charity. Go away.” When she looked up at him, she caught his eyes studying her arms. “Go away, Brady.”

He blinked and his grin came back. “Sure. But we’ll be back. See you later, boys!”

“’Bye, boys!” Lee and Miguel echoed before they walked out the door to spend the remaining minutes of their break with other girls from neighboring classes.

PRESENT DAY

“Are you okay?”

It was Troy who dared to ask the question first. George and Jackie were looking at her with concern, ready to jump and catch her if she fell over her chair. Jordan and Dean were looked on without a clue of what just happened. Lee and Miguel were still guarding the door as if expecting the woman to return any moment.

“I’m fine,” Dannie finally managed to utter. She began to stand up and Tory immediately reached out to help her but stepped back when she shook her head. “I think I need to rest for a while.”

No one spoke even after she closed the door behind her.

---

The woman was heavy around the hips and she walked with a limp. Her face appeared to be older than her age and had obviously been neglected for years, but there was no doubt that she was Dannie’s mother. Sorry for the word, but I wanted to kick the bitch when I realized who she was. She had been knocking on the apartment door, looking over her shoulder from time to time and when it finally opened and Dannie’s friends came into view, it was apparent that Dannie was not coming out to see her.

Why would she?

That woman should not be walking the streets of Bacolod at all! She should be rotting in prison where she belonged!

My anger slowly ebbed down because Tata and Vicky were there to talk to me until the lady was forced to walk away from the premises by George, Jackie, Miguel, Lee and Troy.

Tata was the first to ask who the woman was as she walked away with heavy steps. I decided to tell the vics the whole story of Dannie’s past because—well, no one outside the world of vehicles would really know I broke the code of silence.

Vicky and Tata almost emptied their gas tanks because they started crying. They were both angry and feeling sorry for Dannie baby.

As the evening went on, the tables turned and I ended up consoling them, telling them that Dannie baby was not hurting anymore—that she had been through all those things and survived. Because that was what she really was: a survivor.

---

Dannie walked out of her bedroom and discovered that everyone was there, including Troy, Miguel, Lee, Jordan and Dean. But they all acted as if last night did not happen. If anything, Troy was the only one who looked a bit different because she would catch him looking at her over breakfast.

“Really, this place is cramped. Won’t the five of you go home?” George asked before she turned at Jordan to add, “It’s the bridal shower later so don’t look for me.”

“I didn’t know it’s today,” Dean asked, looking at Jackie.

“Why? Are you the bride? I didn’t know the men have a say on this,” Jackie shot back.

The men looked at each other strangely that Dannie, Jackie and George immediately picked up the meaning.

“You’re having the bachelor’s party tonight, aren’t you?” Jackie asked.

There was a moment of silence among the men before Dean finally answered with, “So? I didn’t know the women have a say on it.”

Jackie narrowed her eyes at him.

“Troy did the planning,” Jordan informed them with a smile of excitement.

George and Jackie snapped their heads toward Troy who was suddenly on his feet as he threw the remaining piece of his pandesal into his mouth. “I have to go.”

“Troy, what did you plan for the party?” Jackie demanded.

“That’s for the boys to know,” Dean told her with a wicked grin.

“Need to know stuff, Jackie,” Jordan added.

“Did you invite strippers or something?” Jackie asked Troy again.

“I really need to go now. I forgot my dad asked me to come by early today,” Troy said, not answering Jackie’s questions. He turned to Miguel and Lee and asked, “Aren’t you guys coming?”

The two immediately jumped off their seats but Jackie grabbed Miguel’s shirt, stopping him from the escape.

“Let go of me, Jackie,” Miguel begged.

“Tell me where the party is.” Jackie’s voice was full of warning. “I know the three of you are up to something.”

Dean and Jordan chuckled harder as Troy and Lee went back to pull Miguel out of Jackie’s grip.

“Let her go, Jackie,” the two of them said.

“Jackie, let him go,” Dean reinforced.

“Not until they tell me where the party is.”

“Why do you care? We didn’t ask where your party is, right?” Troy shot back.

“You won’t tell us because you are up to something!” Jackie almost growled.

“Jackie, let him go,” George said dryly.

“Aren’t you worried?”

“Of what?”

“That Jordan would end up in someone else’s bed or something? Like what happens in movies.”

“She’s not worried because she knows I will not do such a thing,” Jordan answered.

“Really? You expect us to believe that?” Jackie asked with horror. “I know you men are easily tempted with girls dancing in front of you with barely anything over their skin!”

“If I do that, I’d never wake up and find myself alive,” Jordan said matter-of-factly.

“Exactly,” George answered, nodding her head as if already thinking of a way to kill Jordan if he ever did such a thing.

“Let him go, Jackie,” Dean said, his voice more serious now.

His girlfriend must have noted the change in his tone and she finally let go of Miguel’s shirt and the guy ran to the door followed by Troy and Lee.

“I was just making fun of him,” Jackie told Dean.

“It appeared to me that you don’t trust me at all,” Dean nonchalantly uttered as he finished his breakfast.

“Come on, you know I trust you. You can go to that party and you won’t even receive a single text from me. Not a call. Not a single Facebook message—nothing. Because I trust you.”

Dannie found it hard to believe but she did not say a word. Now that everyone was slowly walking out the door to spend their day with their own work, she would be left on her own again.

Jordan and Dean left early to go home to change for work and the three of them got ready as well.

“Are you sure you are going to be alright? Be honest, Dannie. Tell us if you are really okay,” Jackie said, her voice almost pleading.

“I can take you to the HQ with me today,” George offered.

“I am fine. I will be going out anyway. Are the two of you ready? I’ll drive you to work. I will go back to church and follow up on some things for the wedding. Then I will go back to that flower shop. And the shower party venue should be checked first, right?”

Her friends looked at her warmly and finally nodded.

She’d be okay, she thought. She’d be out the whole day and she’d be very busy to even think about her mother.

---

Thinking about the bridal shower was exciting for me. Last night seemed to be just a figment of the past—completely forgotten.

And now, it was time to party!

I spent the whole day with Dannie baby running errands for the bride and groom. I guess she was too busy to even think about her mother’s visit last night, whatever the lady’s agenda was. And I was glad that she could make herself forget last night’s events. I knew it might come back to haunt her in the future, but for now I wanted my baby to be just okay. It was Christmas season and she had to be okay.

We went to the church, the flower shop and finally at the Korean Grill Bar or KGB as how it was commonly called where Dannie managed to book half the place for the night. Though we didn’t know where the guys went, I was sure my boys would have one hell of a night tonight!

Despite me telling the whole truth last night, Tata didn’t tell where Troy planned to take the groom and his friends. If I could take back the stories I shared to them last night, I would. I would wipe their memories clean! I told them a big piece of Dannie’s past and they wouldn’t tell me where the boys were going for a stupid bachelor party? Really? As if I’d tell my boys, right?

But the bridal party still came to play and I was once again in the presence of a lot of colorful, shiny vics.

Oh, I would love to hear what Vicky had to say! And I will not say a thing! My headlights almost went crazy when the vics arrived one by one.

I immediately started talking to a shy wine-red sedan owned by one of the boys’ guests. The vic said it didn’t have a name because the owner didn’t really care for such things. After I had named Vicky, I never attempted naming another vehicle. Jordan later named her Victor which almost ruined my relationship with Vicky. She would still whine and cry about Jordan’s preferred name from time to time and I would be there to listen and bear the agony of naming her in the first place. So the wine-red sedan vic had to stay nameless until her owner decided to follow the trend and baptize her with one.

The night was starting to deepen and me and the other vics could hear the laughter from inside KGB. The place was hidden from public view by logs which served as a wall and we could only imagine what the inside looked like though I heard it was quite cozy.

The vics were starting to get tired of waiting for their owners and I eventually lost interest to any of them. I suddenly missed Tata and Vicky and even Beatle, that old car! Well, I was older by a few mileage but—never mind!

I thought I was hallucinating when I saw the shiny pick-up truck heading our way, blinding me with its headlights, but it turned out I was not. It was really Tata!

How did you guys find us?

She said Troy had been texting Dannie all night and finally succeeded in making her talk. And Troy was alone.

Why is he not with the other guys? Where are they?

My friend said they were still at the party, having a blast, but she wouldn’t say where or who the guys were with. She added it was for me to wonder about until the truth came out.

Why is he here? I asked her instead before my temper got a hold of me.

Tata said she didn’t know either so we’d find out soon.

Troy had already climbed out of her and was working on his phone with one eye closed.

He’s drunk, isn’t he?

Tata said he was only tipsy, but not drunk.

Yeah, right, whatever.

A few moments later, Dannie baby walked out of the wooden door of KGB in her simple outfit of pants, black shirt and flats.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Jordan and Dean?” she demanded from Troy as she crossed the small street toward us.

He’s drunk, Dannie! He’s drunk!

“Are you drunk?!” Dannie asked as she narrowed her eyes up at him.

Of course, he is, the idiot!

“I had a few drinks but I’m not drunk,” Troy said, his eyes looking at Dannie half-closed.

“Then why are you here? As far as I know you guys also have your party somewhere. Are you sure you’re not lost? You shouldn’t be driving at this state, Troy.”

I didn’t know but I knew something big was about to happen.

“I love you, Danica. I still do,” Troy said in a broken voice.

Chapter 6

A piece of the past…

The impact of her father’s right-hand strike caused her to crash against the close wooden door. And before she could recover, the same hand grabbed her face to force her to look at his raging eyes.

“Where have you been?” he shouted at her face.

“School,” she murmured with shaking voice.

He threw her face back against the door. She could hear her sister crying inside their room.

“School!” her father mocked. “You don’t get fed wasting your time in that goddamned school of yours! What did I tell you?” He kicked her leg as he spoke. “What did I tell you, huh? You’re just wasting your time in that hellhole!”

“Stop it, the two of you,” her mother’s voice said from the kitchen. “I can’t take any more of this stupid shouting!”

“Shut up!” her father roared.

“Don’t you tell me to shut up, you good-for-nothing bastard!”

Her father completely forgot about her as he whirled around to face her mother. Their shouting would continue for another hour or so.

Dannie stood up and stumbled to where her sister was crying.

“Stop crying. It’s okay,” she consoled her sister in bed. “This always happens, right? You know it is just a passing moment,” she added.

“Your cheek is bleeding,” her sister said in between sobs.

Dannie touched her cheek and wiped away the blood. “It’s nothing. It doesn’t hurt. Have you eaten yet? Tell me about your day, come on. Did you finish that drawing?”

As she listened to her sister’s words, she couldn’t help but wonder…how long would they be able endure this hell?

PRESENT DAY

“Troy…” Dannie baby started. She was nearly in tears. It seemed to me that she wanted to walk up to him and comfort him. But what was stopping her? Come on, Dannie…just freaking do it!

“No,” he said, stepping away from her. He placed his hands inside his front pockets and took a deep breath as he looked up. “Let me say what I want to say right now because I don’t know when I’ll ever get the courage to do so again.”

Dannie was standing there, stiff as a statue. A tear fell from her eye without grazing her cheek. And Troy’s eyes were also brimming with tears. What the hell…I don’t think I can take this, I said to Tata. “Troy,” Dannie baby tried again, her voice broken. Oh baby, I feel your pain.

“No, let me finish, Danica.” Troy said in a rush as he took another step away from her. His eyes met hers once again and she could feel his desperation through his gaze. “I love you like crazy I don’t know what to do. A year was not enough to control myself from being such an idiot around you. You know me, right? You know who I was since we met. You know every little dirty secret I keep. I’ve been such an ass for years and now…” He gave off a snort as if he was laughing at himself. If it was a year ago, I would be laughing right now at his state. I would have been thinking he deserved this after breaking a lot of hearts. But at this moment, as I looked at his desperate state, I was hurting with him. “And now I got my prize,” Troy continued. “You are my karma.” Shit just got real. I don’t like this at all. Why does this have to happen to these two? “And it’s a really bad one that I could barely stay sane. How can I? I am fighting a—sorry for the word—goddamned Man I don’t have any chances of defeating. He is the all-powerful one no man can contend and I feel guilty with the thought that I don’t want you to go back to that convent!”

“Troy—”

“But I can’t do that.” He shook his head. “I can’t do that because I respect your choice to serve Him. How can I keep anyone from God, right? If He is just some random man on the street, I could easily find a way to make you mine. But He’s not. He’s someone I can never beat. I don’t understand why you have to serve Him this way. I don’t know why you can’t do that the way you had been doing so before you decided to become a nun. Am I selfish to think that way? Should I go to hell because I want you so bad I think I should at least try to fight for you? Tell me, Danica, what should I do?”

I was lost for words. I knew where Troy was coming from. And man, he had the right to think and feel that way, human as he was.

The tear that escaped his eye did it for Dannie. She walked up to him and wound her arms around his waist.

His arms wound around hers tightly, desperately and I stood there watching the two of them clinging to each other and I wanted to stop the time. They could stay like that for years and I would not give a damn because they both deserved it.

“I don’t know what to do, Danica,” he rasped against her hair.

“I wish I could take them away,” she whispered. “I wish I could take away the pain.”

He did not answer and they stayed like that for a long time, silently crying.

It was Troy who loosened his embrace and stepped back. “I have to let you go before I make a fool of myself again,” I heard him say under his breath. “And you have no right to take away whatever pain I feel,” he said louder for her to hear. When their eyes met, his gaze was almost angry. “I know you are hurting as well. I know you’re feeling more pain than I do. But I can’t comfort you like I want to because I am not allowed to. I know you won’t allow me to. And that it makes me crazy thinking how you can even manage the pain alone.”

Dannie blinked and wiped away the tears on her cheeks and forced a smile on her lips. “I am okay, Troy.”

No, you’re not! You’re going through something! I am not stupid not to know, Dannie baby. And Troy knows that too. You are definitely going through something!

He took a long time just staring at her face, his expression solemn. “Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you even sure you entered the convent because you really want to? Because you believe that you’ve been called? Or are there other reasons?” Right on the spot, Troy my boy!

My little congratulatory state suddenly dispersed when I saw the flicker of anger in Dannie’s eyes. She tried her best to control it and keep it at bay but I still saw it. I knew what she was thinking: Troy had every right to think that way. “I already made my choice a year ago. Nothing or no one pushed me to make my decision.”

His jaw clenched. “I just can’t help but think you entered the convent to escape.”

“Don’t, Troy,” she said strongly. “Don’t go there. I don’t want to fight. You’re drunk and you need to go home. I’ll call Lee or Miguel. Someone has to drive you back home.”

“I can manage,” he abruptly said, whirling around to walk back to Tata who had been silent the whole time. “I’ve said what I have to say, anyway.”

“Troy!” Dannie called after him but he continued to walk away.

“I am fine, Danica! Don’t worry! I’ll see you around!” he answered, his voice almost back to his usual Troy Brady one.

I hate drama. I just hate it! Tata, you take him home safely! I don’t want a wedding and a funeral to happen all at the same time, understand?!

Dannie stepped aside as Tata and Troy passed by and she leaned against my hood. She started crying again and I so wanted to develop freaking metal arms to hug her tight and comfort her. If anyone would think about her situation, they would say it was simple. She obviously had feelings for Troy so she just had to leave the convent and be with him. But she was Dannie baby. She had been through a lot and she was also a woman with a lot of layers.

She was like a roll of tissue paper; really soft on the outside but hard inside. The pain and suffering she had been through hardened her in some ways and I was one of the few who knew about this side in her. It was not easy for her to give herself to just anyone. She could give away all the softness and tenderness away and I was certain she believed no one would want the part of her that had hardened throughout the years. But she didn’t know there were people around her who could accept everything about her. I knew I could, as well as Georgie and Jackie. But could Troy do the same? Would he be able to accept her when he found out everything about her he didn’t know about?

I understood Dannie baby. But not everybody could. If only they knew.

---

The party was a success. Everybody was happy. Except Dannie baby, of course. But she had put up such an act that not even Georgie or Jackie hinted something happened in the middle of the party. We all went home intoxicated in different levels. I was intoxicated with Dannie baby’s pain and she with her troubles. Georgie and Jackie were intoxicated with alcohol, of course.

The day after was quite hectic because everybody was trying to be cool about each other’s party, especially the bride and the groom. Not one of them asked what happened during each other’s party though I knew each of them was dying to know every detail.

“It’s a good thing you guys enjoyed your party,” said Jackie.

“Yes, we did,” Jordan answered.

“And you girls had fun, right?” asked Dean.

“Of course. We had a blast,” Georgie answered.

I almost feared a bomb was about to explode by the end of the day, but thankfully no such thing happened.

Dannie solved the problem. The guys approached her and asked what happened and she told them the truth. The girls sang their hearts out and partied all night, no nasty thing happened. The guys believed her, of course. Who wouldn’t, right? And she asked Jordan and Dean about their party as well and they said it was exclusively an all-men party. No strippers as what they insisted. Jackie and Georgie then asked Dannie about the party and she told them what the guys told her. The bomb was diffused just in time.

As for Troy, we never saw him again for the next two days because everything seemed to be back to normal. Jackie and Georgie went back to work. Jordan and Dean would drop by and eat dinner with my three boys and make more plans for the wedding.

Then it Christmas break came for Jackie and Dean. The offices of Collins Corporation had finally closed down to give way to the holidays. Jordan and George still worked, but not as much.

There were still no signs of Troy and everybody except Dannie and I wondered what he had been up to.

The day of Christmas Eve came and Dannie was driving me back to the church. She had refused her friends’ offer to stay with them, saying she had made plans with the sisters and the children. I was parked at my usual spot and the children played around me, pretending to be in a war zone and I was their barricade. I would have enjoyed it if they did not lamely throw stones intended for their enemies which landed against my precious hood.

There was a mass and a lot of people came to meet the coming of Christ. I chatted with other vehicles who were excited about their owners’ plans for Christmas Eve. I didn’t have anything to share. Poor me, right?

But I was glad to be with Dannie baby. A party for the children followed right after the mass and I was left alone for a moment. I heard squeals of joy as the children unwrapped their presents. A few moments later, they were back to where I was, playing with their new toys.

It was a good way to spend my Christmas. I wondered for a moment how my other boys were celebrating theirs.

Dannie joined the sisters and the kids in prayer and everything was at peace again.

Until I saw Tata coming toward me.

Why are you here? I asked her.

She said I knew why she was there.

Well, yeah, I did. I just knew Troy would not be able to stay away from Dannie baby that long.

He jumped off Tata and checked himself through her side mirror.

Don’t even bother, my boy. Though your shirt and pants look cool, you still look like hell.

He straightened and took a deep breath.

The air is not dosed with COURAGE , my boy so just go and get her.

He must have heard me because he turned around and walked to the building where Dannie baby was.

Somebody’s kidnapping somebody at church. So original, Troy my boy!

                                                                                                                                              ���������WVPR

Chapter 7

A piece of the past…

“Is Danica okay?” Lee asked George and Jackie. Troy pretended to be busy with his pen and notebook while waiting for an answer to his friend’s question.

“We don’t know. We’ve been wondering the same thing,” Jackie answered, concern in her voice.

He wanted to ask a follow-up question but Jackie and George did not seem to be in the mood today. Danica had been missing school for three days now.

“Do you know where she lives?” asked Miguel.

“Why?” Jackie asked.

“Just asking, Jackie. Don’t you want to know what she’s been up to?” Troy wanted to hug his friend for speaking out.

“Yeah. She might be sick or something,” he finally added when Jackie and George kept their silence.

“Let’s give her some time,” Jackie said. “She has been gone from school for weeks in the past, right?” But there was something in her voice and the way she said it that told Troy Jackie and George were already making plans of their own.

“Come on, guys,” Troy said to Lee and Miguel. “Let’s go get something before the bell rings.” He almost dragged his two friends out of the room and when he looked over his shoulder, he saw George and Jackie’s heads together, talking about something. “I think George and Jackie are planning to go to Danica later,” he said to his friends conspiratorially. “And they need escorts,” he added with a grin.

---

“What the hell, Troy!” Jackie shouted in surprise. “Miguel! Lee! What the hell are you three doing here?!”

The three of them were caught in the act of following the two girls. There was nothing they could do about it so Troy said, “We just want to make sure you two don’t get in any harm.”

“And you should be thankful, you know,” Miguel added. “Three cool guys made it their task to make sure you boys are safe.”

“Stop following us,” George ordered.

“You’re going to Danica, aren’t you?” Lee asked.

“No.”

“We are only five minutes away from where she lives,” Troy said.

“And how do you know that?”

Troy swallowed and tried to think of a fast excuse. “I just figured. There’s some sort of a squatters’ area around here, right? And Danica never denied she lives in such neighborhood. It’s just a well-calculated guess. So come on, let’s go see Danica.”

George and Jackie looked at each other wearily.

“Come on. We won’t tell anyone,” Troy urged.

“Dannie won’t like it,” George said.

“Then we’ll not show up. You two can go visit her. We’ll just wait around one corner and make sure you’re safe.”

“Come on, boys,” Lee and Miguel uttered in unison.

“Fine,” Jackie finally gave in. “But if Dannie sees the three of you, you’re all dead.”

“Deal,” the three of them answered in unison.

PRESENT DAY

When I saw Troy again, he was grinning from ear to ear, pulling Dannie baby by the hand toward Tata.

And then I realized something. Wait, wait. Does this mean I would be left here?!

“You should have told me you were coming!” Dannie was saying as she struggled to keep up with Troy’s brisk steps.

“You would have done anything just to prevent this from happening if I told you,” he said.

“What about Toto?” Dannie asked.

Yeah, what about me?!

“He’ll survive. Come on.” Troy opened Tata’s passenger door and gas almost leaked out my headlights.

No! Don’t leave me here! Troy, you kidnapper! Come back! I shouted after them but no one heard me save Tata who was laughing at my despair.

I saw Dannie hesitate for a few seconds before she finally gave in and climbed inside my pick-up friend.

I’ll have the last laugh, Troy!

---

“Where are you taking me?” Dannie asked warily.

“My parents’ house.”

“What?” she asked in surprise and panic. Troy’s parents were okay, but it would be weird to spend some time alone with them without Jackie or George. “You planned this, didn’t you?”

“Of course not! They asked me where you boys were and how you were planning your Christmas eve and I told them the truth. They wanted to invite you over because you are alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. I was with the sisters and the children not five minutes ago!”

“Yes, you were, but what about after the party’s over? Come on, Danica. My parents want to see you. They want to hear everything you’ve been up to this past year. And you’re saving me a lot of trouble. With you around, they will stop bugging me with useless concerns.”

“It’s because you do a lot of things they have to be concerned about.”

“Hey, I’ve been a good boy since—” he stopped midway and did not finish.

“What? Since what?”

He threw her a glance as if to say, “You know what I was trying to say,” and she couldn’t help but feel the tension between them again. She cleared her throat and sighed.

“Fine. I’ll greet them and then you’re dropping me back to the church.”

“I don’t have to. I already told the sisters you’re sleeping at my parents’ house. In the guest room. Alone. With the doors locked. That did the trick and they said yes.”

“You’re lying. When did you tell them?”

“While you were trying to avoid me when I came in. Did you not see me talking to two of them?”

Dannie gritted her teeth and took a deep breath. She’d let this pass for once.

She would be gone in a few weeks after all and it would not hurt to drop by and say hello to his parents. They had been good to her and if it meant spending Christmas Eve with them would make them happy, she’d do it.

Complete silence reigned between her and Troy, the tension obviously still there. The things he said that night of the shower party were still fresh in her head. Though she was not sure he remembered all the details because of his state that night, the thought that he still harbored feelings for her up to this day were for certain.

She wanted to ask him how he was planning to manage that and if he intended to forget whatever it was he was feeling toward her at all.

It’s all up to him. He’s a big guy.

Dannie stole a quick glance at Troy. He was just like the man she had known for so long, the same man who had tormented her and her friends for years just because he could. She could count more frustrating memories of him in the years they had known each other. But there were also good times. He was one of the first people who stood up for her in the past when people other than him gave her a hard time that she even wondered how much he knew about her past.

No one really talked about her past openly and she trusted George and Jackie. They would never tell anyone about it. But stories still reached some people and she couldn’t help but wonder how much Troy Brady knew.

He was a pain in the ass but he was also, in some ways, her protector.

He was her friend and it hurt her to see him hurting because of her. He may be acting like his old self most of the time, but Dannie knew better. And she’d give anything to bring the old Troy back.

It would make things easier. The pain would be lesser.

---

Mr. and Mrs. Brady were cool folks. They almost ran to the door when Dannie and Troy parked outside their large home in Ayala.

Mrs. Brady hugged Dannie as soon as she stepped inside the doorway and said, “Merry Christmas, my dear. I am so glad you could join us.”

“Dannie!” Mr. Brady bellowed heartily and grabbed Dannie away from his wife’s embrace. She suddenly found herself trapped in his strong warmth. “When was the last time we saw you, huh? Was it during my wife’s birthday?” He turned to his wife for confirmation which was then met with a nod by the other.

“Dad, come on. You’re squeezing the life out of her,” Troy said, tugging at his dad’s arm. “Danica misses you, too. Right, Danica?”

Dannie nodded with a laugh as Mr. Brady finally let her free.

“See? She misses you both so stop with the exaggerated greeting.”

“Have you eaten yet?” Mrs. Brady asked.

“Yes, she has,” Troy answered before she could.

“You have to eat some more anyway. Come on,” Mrs. Brady said, taking Dannie’s hand.

Dannie suddenly noticed the noise. She looked at Troy with eyes wide open and threw him an accusing glare.

“You know we have a big family,” he whispered beside her.

They entered the living room and there, everywhere, was his family—his aunts, uncles and cousins from both sides. It was a mixture of American and Filipino people talking and having fun.

Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and turned their heads toward her.

The kids looked at her curiously and the adults all smiled at her saying, “Hi!”

“This is Dannie, Troy’s friend,” Mrs. Brady addressed the crowd of at least twenty people. “She’s the one I was talking about earlier.”

“The nun?” a man who looked almost exactly like Mr. Brady asked from the couch.

“Not yet,” Troy answered almost immediately. “She’s not a nun YET.”

Dannie elbowed his side and smiled at the crowed, forcing the anxiety she felt away. “Hi. Merry Christmas.”

“Let me introduce you to everyone,” Mr. Brady said, taking her by the shoulder to enter the holy huddle of his family. She went from one person to the other without being hugged and kissed Merry Christmas. It took almost twenty minutes to meet everyone, including the kids who instantly took a liking of her.

“Everyone in my family flies here for Christmas every year,” Mr. Brady explained after the introductions.

“Dannie, let’s go. You have to eat something,” Mrs. Brady said, taking her by the hand.

All that time, while she was being ushered from point A to point B around the house, Troy was tagging along behind them, dropping a comment here and there which Dannie barely heard, too overwhelmed with the crowd.

She let herself be guided to the dining room where evidence of a feast was still over the table. She was full, but she didn’t want to disappoint Mrs. Brady so she took a seat and received the saucer of cake offered to her.

Troy was struggling with some of his cousins not far away. One was hanging by his neck behind him, another by his left arm and another girl was hugging his right leg. He walked toward the dining table looking like a huge Christmas tree with live decorations of laughing children.

Despite being an only child, Troy sure knew how to play with children.

“I’m sitting down and I don’t care if one of you falls down,” he warned the children as he neared the chair right across from Dannie.

The children squealed and jumped off him and ran away to find some things to play with.

Troy’s parents sat with her around the table like she was an honored guest they had to watch over. Mr. and Mrs. Brady were two unlikely couple. Or so she had thought when she first met them for the first time during a PTA meeting back in high school. Mr. Brady was very American and a lot more like Troy. His wife, on the other hand, was reserved and very quiet. But now, after many years of seeing them together, she couldn’t think of any couple more suitable.

“Have I ever told anyone that I love Filipino Christmas more?” Mr. Brady asked.

Troy groaned. “I lost count,” he muttered as he reached for a pear.

Mrs. Brady’s eyes wrinkled as she smiled. She winked at Dannie and mouthed, “Here we go again.”

Dannie smiled in return, trying to take in her surroundings. She left a bunch of people at church and went to a lot who are louder and…well, louder. There was a Christmas song playing in the background but that was barely audible due to the noise of the ten or so kids running around everywhere and the laughter and chatters of the adults in the living room.

It was new to her. She had never celebrated Christmas with a big family. Dannie didn’t know what to do then. She knew how to deal with kids, but not one big family from two different races.

“You’ll be fine, Danica. Don’t worry,” Troy said from across the table.

“Why? Are you feeling anxious?” asked Mr. Brady. “Don’t worry. We don’t bite. And we sure do know how to have fun.”

“Yes, Dannie,” Mrs. Brady said assuredly. “Troy would not have brought you here if we don’t feel okay with it. And we really are. Anyone is welcome to join us in this special occasion. Would you like some fruits?”

“I’m okay. And thank you,” she said shyly, forking her cake.

“We are going to play some games to wear the kids out to sleep in a while so you better be ready,” Troy said excitedly.

“What?”

“Come on. You were a preschool teacher for years. You will be of great help.”

“Okay, that’s it then!” Mr. Brady said, jumping to his feet. “I’ll go get the kids. And the prizes! The prizes will be awesome!”

Dannie sat in her chair like a rock for a few seconds, trying to wrap her head around what was happening around her. No one was making such great efforts to make her feel welcome, but somehow these people made her feel like she was part of them—like she had a family again.

Chapter 8

A piece of the past…

If there was anything that her parents liked about her going to school was that she was friends with people who had money, most especially George.

Her friends came to visit her and though she told them she caught a cold, she knew they did not believe her. Jackie couldn’t take her eyes away from the fresh bruises on her arms and George couldn’t help the gritting of her teeth.

Her parents weren’t around so they were able to have a quick chat before they arrived. They talked with Tessa more cheerfully with promises of visiting more often if they could.

“You should go home,” Dannie told them a while later. “Your parents will be worried. Can you tell Ms. Salazar I won’t be back until next week?”

Jackie’s eyes returned to her bruises but did not say a word. Both her friends nodded their heads and walked out the door with their goodbyes.

---

The following week, Dannie had to tell her parents they needed to go to school.

“We did not force you to go to that stupid school. Why would we go?” her mother cried out even before she finished.

“Okay,” she answered without any argument.

Ms. Salazar had noticed the bruises in her arms and wanted to see her parents. It was not the first time. Dannie would have to tell another lie.

PRESENT DAY

Dannie later found herself facilitating the games for the children. Because Troy’s dad had a lot of prizes to give, the games went on for hours until the children were completely exhausted and fell asleep in their parents’ arms. Troy had been busy taking photos of the games and Dannie with her on-the-spot task of providing the games.

“Come on, kids, it’s time to sleep,” Troy told his cousins. All of them followed him upstairs, their eyes groggy and their steps slow. “Careful, careful. Come one, just a few more steps, guys,” he said as he bent down to pick up the smallest girl in the group and carried her all the way to the top of the stairs.

Dannie tore her eyes away from them when they disappeared from view and looked around the messy living room. The adults had slowly walked out to the veranda for more small talks while some were already in bed.

“I hope you enjoyed the crazy party, Danica,” Troy’s dad said beside her. She did not notice him approach. His cheeks were red from all the laughter earlier and his eyes twinkled as he stared at the top of the empty staircase as if he could still see Troy and the children in their rooms.

“Yes, I did, Mr. Brady.”

“How many times have I told you? It’s just Ron.”

“How about Tito?”

He sighed. “Okay. Tito is fine. I still find that word weird but it’s better than Mr. Brady.”

Dannie let out a small laugh.

“Troy couldn’t stop talking about you since you came back, you know.”

Dannie looked at him and met his sideway gaze. Mr. Brady laughed at her appalled reaction. “You would be more surprised to know how much he talked about your for years, Danica.”

Her mouth fell open. Troy told his dad?

The laughter in Mr. Brady’s voice did not waver as he said, “I knew he was in love even before he realized it. You are a household name around here, Danica.” Again, there as laughter. “And he calls you Danica while everyone else refers to you as Dannie.

Dannie sighed. “He had always called me that since we met.”

“That should tell you something then,” Mr. Brady sighed. He faced her and looked at her with tenderness. “It only means he wants to not be like everybody else.” He gave her a wink and walked away, leaving her alone. But not for long because Mrs. Brady walked to her with a knowing smile.

Dannie got the feeling that the parents were up to something here and she felt trapped. Where the hell was Troy?

“Don’t worry, Dannie. I won’t attack. I know my husband’s wicked thoughts. He wants you for his son and I do, too. But I wouldn’t dare beg you to leave the convent,” Mrs. Brady uttered, putting an arm over her shoulders.

The atmosphere between the two of them was nothing like the one she had with Mr. Brady. This time, Dannie felt the woman’s worry and concern. “He’s hurting, isn’t he?”

Dannie swallowed. She didn’t know how to answer that.

“Don’t worry, hija. I am not trying to blame you. Did I tell you he told me you are his karma?”

Dannie shook her head. Why did Troy have to tell his parents?!

“And I agree with him. He’s been doing a lot of foolish things for years and now he came crashing against a huge wall and he feels powerless.”

“I’m sorry,” was all she could utter.

“Don’t be. I know things will work out the way they should be. Don’t feel responsible for his feelings, Dannie. He’s a man and he’s learning a lot becoming one. He’ll survive. And you,” Mrs. Brady grabbed Dannie’s shoulders and stepped before her, holding her gaze, “you should do what you want to do. Don’t let fear or anyone keep you from doing what you love to do.”

The tears welled in her eyes as she nodded.

Mrs. Brady pulled her closer for a long, soothing embrace. “Don’t cry, dear. Everything’s going to be alright.”

---

I didn’t know how he managed to convince Dannie baby to spend the night with him, but he did. And somehow, I was proud of the guy! But he had to pay for leaving me behind!

Tata was not such a great storyteller so I had to rely to the very little details she managed to impart. She stayed in the garage the whole night anyway and didn’t witness a lot. I let it pass.

Troy was in a good mood when he dropped Dannie off. And she was in a pretty good mood when we drove back to the apartment later that afternoon after she spent more time with the sisters and the kids.

Jackie, Georgie, Dean and Jordan arrived the following day with stories of their own. Jackie shared how amazing Dean’s family was and Georgie had to be forced to tell us more about how she nearly broke Jordan’s nose. The guy was fine, but his ego was definitely not.

They said it started with just a small wrestling game they usually had and it turned to something more physical because Georgie was allegedly tackled on the ground by Jordan and she didn’t want to admit defeat so she turned really serious and attacked him until their families literally tore them apart from each other. They said the only person who was amused of their little game was Vivienne, Georgie’s little sister.

All in all, the wedding was still on and the planning continued until New Year’s Eve. This time, Dannie baby and I would not be alone. Everyone decided to meet the New Year together. Anon was set to perform in Art District for a New Year’s party and we were all going!

Yes, including Dannie baby.

Of course, she was hesitant. But after a lot of begging from the bride and groom who claimed her days with them were almost over, she finally gave in—but no alcohol for her. Everybody was fine with that.

So that night we all went to Art District for some fun. I was oh so ready to meet new vics. Dean and Jordan washed me up good the previous day. I was all shiny my yellow paint was almost the epitome of sunlight in the middle of the night. I WAS SO READY!

And then Beatle came into the picture. And Vicky aka Victor. Tata was not around because Troy said he’d have to pass because he had to be with his family to celebrate the New Year in their farm outside of town. With Beatle, Vicky and me—and the humans—we were a crowd. And somebody had to be left behind.

NO! NO! NO!

And it had to be me. Dannie could pick which ride to board and I was not among the choices.

MEEEEEE! PICK ME!!!!!

But no one was even looking at me. Dannie baby was not even looking at me! She was torn between two cars. I secretly hated my buddy Beatle and Vicky that night. They should break down or something! They knew how much I had been craving for a night out in the city! I spent the whole freaking Christmas in the premises of a church for Volk’s sake! I spent it ALONE. Outside the CHURCH. No one even took a selfie with me. NO ONE.

But I just got to be left behind. I was the unwanted car. They would only waste more gas. Just pick a car, Dannie, they said.

Everyone was mocking my existence!

In the end, Vicky aka Victor won. Dannie climbed inside her and they all zoomed away. Beatle said he was sorry. Vicky was sorry too, but I knew she was not that sorry. She was excited to go and flaunt her BMW self out there.

Well, news flash, girl! There are tons of pedicabs in that area! One wrong move and your shiny paint will get another wash of black nail polish! Yeah, remember the nail polish?!

I was mad for a long time.

“Looks like you’re left behind, Toto,” a familiar voice said from behind me.

Jam!

And he was pushing his bike, Nomad in the middle of the street. He was going out as well.

Nomad, hey, buddy! Don’t leave. Break down or something. Come on, you can do that. You know, it is not safe for bikes to go out at this time of the year, you know. You guys are on the top of the most accident-prone vehicles all over the country! You would want to see what next year has for you, right? So come on, don’t go. DON’T!

But the last friend I had was also zooming away with his cool rider.

I can’t believe I rooted for you one year ago, Jam! BURN IN HELL, TEAM JA!

I lost it that night. I’d lose it for three more weeks.

On the fourth week, my savior would come to rescue me. And you would not believe what he did.

---

Dannie had to admit that she was slightly disappointed when she saw Lee and Miguel walk to their table. No Troy Brady around to wink at almost every girl within the premises. No Brady to squeeze right next to her.

Jordan and George were sitting beside each other, their hands clasped together on the table and their heads bent close to one another as they talked, lost in their own worlds. It was rare for Dannie to see the two of them like that so she let them be. Jackie, as always, had turned her chair around to face the stage where Anon, Dean’s band was setting up.

When Kurt, the lead guitarist, strummed his guitar, the crowd cheered. The party atmosphere was more intense that night because of the coming New Year. Everyone was holding up their drinks, excited to hear more.

Phil, the vocalist, tapped the microphone before him and smiled at the crowd.

“Ready for some cool party?” he asked.

The crowd cheered louder.

Dannie had no problems with Anon’s music. They were a mixture of old and new. Some didn’t like them because they preferred something more electric while others, like her and her friends, loved the laidback, old school kind.

“We’re testing our instruments and as we do the final touches, we’ll play this old song for you all,” Phil said, looking at his band mates. Dean was already at the back, behind the drums, his baseball cap hiding the upper part of his face.

“Aren’t you gonna play with them?” Dannie heard Lee ask Nikki, Dean’s cousin and Anon’s only female vocalist.

“I’ll go up when it’s my turn. Right now, I want some beer.”

Lee and Miguel immediately called for a waiter, giddy to please their pretty friend.

“Dannie, it’s nice to see you again,” Nikki said as the Anon started playing.

“Yeah. I have actually missed this.”

“Where’s Troy?”

Dannie remembered Troy, Lee and Miguel were Nikki’s avid fans and of course she would look for the leader. “He’s out of town.”

Nikki frowned. “I thought now that you’re back he would be stuck to you like glue. That man should learn to treasure his time.”

Surprised, Dannie gaped at Nikki.

The girl just laughed. “Come on. Everyone knew even before the news broke out. We’re the prime witness of how crazy he was over you,” Nikki said.

“This is for all the fools out there!” Phil jokingly said. “Forget him or her, dude. Tomorrow’s another year!” he added before continuing the song.

Well, she’s kind of pretty

Drives a big car too And when I hold her in my arms I never know what to do

Phil started singing a Stephen Bishop song and some of the older people in the place howled in cheer.

If she’s got everything she needs What does she need me for? I’m just a crazy fool Comin’ back for more

Dannie grabbed the music as an excuse to turn away from Nikki and focus her attention on stage.

And I know She’s no good Can’t leave her But I know I should Everybody says watch out boy She’ll break your heart like it was a toy

You better Save it for a Rainy Day

People started to sing along with the familiar lyrics and Dannie was grateful for the distraction.

You better Save it for a Rainy Day

Well I’d leave in a minute If I only could But when she touches me It makes me feel so good My heart’s in her hands This is a sure a mess There’s no way I say no When she says, “yes yes yes”

Take me, shake me And tell me this ain’t a dream Everybody says watch out boy She’ll break your heart like it was a toy

You better Save it for a Rainy Day… You better Save it for a Rainy Day…

As the song ended, Dannie couldn’t help but think about that night outside KGB.

“I love you, Danica. I still do.”

Troy’s words ran around her head again and again like an endless marathon.

She shook her head and forced herself to enjoy the night with or without Troy Brady.

Chapter 9

A piece of the past…

She was back to school and she was aware of the curious glances her classmates threw at her direction every now and then. Though Jackie and George never told her anything about any rumors about her, she was certain there were at least two.

She was not obliged to explain her domestic problems anyway, she thought.

But her friends were also affected in a way and they probably had a lot of questions they wanted to ask, things they wanted to be clear. George, for one, was someone who wanted things in place. Dannie would bet anything she was itching to find out what was happening with her so she could finally put the matter at rest and go on without wondering about things people only talked about behind Dannie’s back.

During lunchtime, on her first day back at school, Dannie finally decided to tell Jackie and George.

“I know it’s not a secret that I have some family issues at home,” she started.

Jackie immediately stopped moving and George just looked at her as she munched her food. Neither of her friends blinked an eye.

“And I know that the two of you have a lot of questions so I decided I better just tell you myself. My parents are not like yours. They chose different things, most of them wrong, and they do things in a different way.”

It seemed that her openness finally gave way for George to speak her mind and her friend said, “Like beating you and Tessa up.”

Dannie’s lips thinned. She nodded her head.

Jackie was nearly in tears.

“You should do something about it,” George said strongly.

“They feed us. They try to find work for a living. They give us roof over our heads. They have a lot of frustrations,” she reasoned. When she met George’s eyes, she immediately had to look away. There was a curious, knowing look in them that she didn’t want to face at the moment. George’s always imagined things far beyond what normal people would go for and most often, they were justifiable. She would think worse of the bad and expect something bad from something good. And at that moment, Dannie knew her friend was doing just that.

“Dannie,” George started but Dannie stopped her with a smile.

“I hope you can understand my situation. Don’t worry so much about me. I can handle everything.”

George opened her mouth to argue but closed it when Dannie continued eating.

She didn’t want to answer what her friend had in mind. Maybe in the future, she’d face that question. But not right now.

Some more horrible things were better kept locked up from other people.

PRESENT DAY

I said Troy was going to do something awesome, right?

Well, it actually happened while we went out of town to Cadiz to attend the Dinagsa Festival which is kind of a big thing every January in Negros. Like the Masskara, it comprises of a lot of street parties. But it has its own twists. You see, people who’d come for the Dinagsa Festival have to be ready to get dirty. You will not survive the day without being smeared with different colors of latex paint all over your face and body. People would go home looking like walking canvases who met a two-year-old painter wannabe.

I didn’t know how I felt about the festival, actually. For most vehicles, it is a nightmare. Imagine the horror of being smeared with paint, though water-based, and you couldn’t even lift a freaking door to ward off your attackers.

But thankfully, Troy had a friend who lived in Cadiz and all of us—Beatle, Tata, Vicky and me—were safely parked away from the main streets of Cadiz. It was the first time I saw him after he dropped Dannie the day after Christmas, actually. I thought the two of them would be okay. They were in a good mood the last time they met, right? But no, they were awkward around each other. Was it because they had not seen each other for weeks? I just knew it was not good! But I had to bear with it, right?

While Dannie, Troy and the rest of their friends, including Miguel and Lee, went out to roam around the streets and get dirty with paint with nothing but Troy’s camera in hand, I got to talking with Tata and Beatle. We had some catching up to do, you know. I had to beg for mercy for not talking to them because of leaving me behind last New Year’s Eve. Vicky was the first to forgive me. Beatle said he didn’t really care and that he just kept quiet because the two vics would burn his engines if he as much as talked to me. Tata was not an easy vic to please so I had to work on her a little bit more. When I finally said I wanted Troy to end up with Dannie, she finally gave in. She had been worried lately, she said. Troy had been acting weird. He met up with Jordan and Dean alone quite a few times but he never went to the boys’ apartment. Vicky said he was probably avoiding Dannie.

But why? The last time I saw them they were really okay!

Beatle said they may have looked okay but all of us should know better. My buddy was right, I guess. Maybe the awkward tension between Dannie baby and Troy had grown during the days they had not seen each other.

To distract me from that worry, I asked them about the details for the wedding I must have missed while being with Dannie almost every day. Tata said the groom was not having cold feet but the bride was.

I was horrified. Wasn’t she the one who wanted the wedding?

Beatle said it was only natural for a woman to get cold feet.

But the wedding is still on, right? Dannie’s almost done with all the preparations!

Vicky almost roared her engines saying the wedding was definitely on. Beatle agreed, saying he had overheard the groom tell his friends he wouldn’t let the bride walk out on him after everything they had been through.

Well, good for the both of them. I had already embraced the fact that I would lose her over him so he better drag her down that aisle!

We spent the rest of the day talking and praying no one would enter the gates and start pouring latex paints on us. Georgie would raise hell if that would ever happen to me!

The amazing thing Troy did happened when we had to leave Cadiz.

---

Dannie was sure Troy was trying to avoid her all day. Or maybe he had been for weeks. She had not seen him since after Christmas. And she had thought they were okay after he dragged her to his parents’ house. She even expected him to drop by a few days after the New Year but he did not. She was afraid to ask Dean and Jordan and she was not ready to ask Jackie and George either in fear that they would make such a big issue out of it.

He did not insist that she ride to Cadiz with him, Miguel and Lee. And he didn’t complain when she insisted she take Toto with her and not ride Beatle and Victor.

Everyone was sort of okay with that, actually, and that kind of surprised her. Normally, Jackie and George would argue to leave at least one car behind. But none of them did that. Maybe they thought she needed her own space?

Troy led the convoy to Cadiz and when they got there, he did not even talk to her like he normally would. He did not even make an effort to piss her off like he used to. It seemed that she was just there but not really. He never talked to her directly, nor did he call her by her name and she would not be human if that did not bother her at all.

She wasn’t sure if Jackie and George noticed Troy’s act of ignorance. Her two friends were busy with their own boyfriends to even notice anything else that day. They had lunch at his friend’s house and then they were off to the streets wearing old shirts and pants.

She was dragged along the crowded street by Jackie and George for the first few hours they were there. They did random stopovers in different booths where they bought drinks and talked and took pictures. Troy spent most of his time talking to the guys if he was not taking shots for his blog. And since he was quite famous among the female population back in Bacolod, he would usually stop to chat with some of them. He’d talk and laugh with them over the loud music like he usually did.

Seeing him like that, acting like the old Troy toward other people, was bittersweet. She had to at least admit that. If he was trying to return to being his normal cocky self, then she’d let him. If it was the only way he could deal with whatever he was feeling toward her, she was okay with that. She had to be okay with that.

After two stopovers, they dived into the crowded street again and continued walking. Troy fell behind when a group of ladies shouted for him. Dannie looked back and checked where he was.

“Hey, Dannie! You okay back there?” George asked, looking over her shoulder. She had her hand on Jordan’s shoulders, guiding the guy through the crowd. It was his first time and George had to take care of him. Jackie and Dean were right ahead of them, Jackie dragging her boyfriend through the crowd they were almost stumbling. Miguel and Lee were nowhere to be seen, but they would eventually show up like they usually did.

“Yeah! Don’t worry about me!” she called back and before she knew it, a group of excited and squealing teenagers walked right in front of her, separating her from her friends, and they were holding cans of paints. They held up their hands and Dannie barely had time to react when they reached up to her face and smeared her different colors of paints. “Happy Dinagsa!” they shouted, turned and ran away, squeezing through the crowd. Dannie tried to wipe away the dripping paint from her chin and wiped her hand with her shirt. She looked around to find her friends and they were nowhere in sight.

She thought she heard George’s voice shouting her name and she turned. George was nowhere in sight. She decided to walk ahead. Surely, her friends would have stopped somewhere to wait for her like they talked about earlier. But walking on was like walking through a warzone on her own. She had to fight back some more kids who wanted to smear her skin with more paint. She did not complain loudly because that was what the festival was all about and she came here expecting paint. But when a group of men with wet paint covering their entire arms and face stepped right in front of her with their arms open wide, she said, “No, please!” But they were not listening. They just grinned at her, their white teeth highlighted through their paint-covered faces, and stepped forward to embrace her, shouting, “FREE HUGS!” intending to share the paint on their arms. “No!” she squealed, her arms defensively covering her chest and her head bent for the attack. But the attack did not come.

“She’s mine, guys,” Troy’s voice said before her. Dannie’s breath caught in her throat as she slowly opened her eyes. Troy’s broad back was in front of her. His white shirt was smeared with paint like everyone else. “You don’t wanna mess with her,” he was saying to the men who were about to attack her with their embrace a few seconds about.

One of them held up his hands in surrender and they backed off saying, “It’s cool, man.” And then they were off to take their free-paint-free-hug attack somewhere.

Dannie slowly let go of her breath in relief.

Troy turned around to look down at her with a serious look on his face, one she rarely saw. His brows were furrowed to a line and his jaw twitched. “What the hell are you doing here alone? Where are the others? Do you know what could happen if you walk this street alone? You’re lucky those guys were cool and were just having harmless fun. What would you have done if they were some psycho who—”

He stopped talking when she broke eye contact and bent her head down.

His large camera was hanging around his neck. He let out an angry sigh and placed his hands on his hips as he calmed himself down. “Forget it. Let’s go.”

His hand, which was covered with dried yellow and blue paint, grabbed hers. He gently gave it a tug and led her down the street. He fought more onslaughts of paint attackers with his other hand while his other was holding hers. “She’s allergic to paint!” he even shouted when a persistent male attacker kept chasing them. “She’s having an allergic reaction and I’m taking her to the hospital!” he added when the man did not back off. That did the trick and the guy walked off crying, “Why come here if she’s allergic?!”

Troy’s hand gripped hers strongly and fought their way out of the crowd and to one side of the street where a kiosk was standing, selling drinks.

“You okay?” he asked in a low voice as they stood beside the kiosk away from the crowd.

Dannie just nodded.

“Where the hell are the others?” he asked no one in particular as he fished for his phone inside his pocket. “They shouldn’t have left you behind like that,” he muttered as he started tapping with his thumb. His other hand was still holding hers like a leash.

“I was lost,” she murmured.

“What?” he absently asked, his brows frowning down his phone.

“I was lost. I didn’t mean to happen. They were there in front of me and the next thing I knew a bunch of teens came up to me and attacked me. I tried to find them but they were gone by then and then there were more people coming up to me with paints and I was alone and then those guys—” Her eyes had started to water. What was happening to her? Why was she crying? She didn’t feel that lost a few minutes ago. But where were all these emotions coming from?

Troy had stopped whatever he was doing with his phone and was looking down at her with concern. “Danica,” he started but did not continue as she sniffled a cry. She heard his frustrated breath before she found herself in his arms. “It’s okay. I’m sorry about what I said. Nothing could have happened to you. People are just having fun here, okay? You are safe.”

“I was lost.”

“Yes, I know. Stop crying. It’s okay.”

But the more he comforted her and the more he soothed her, the more tears flowed out.

He finally leaned away to look at her but his arms kept their hold around her. His chin touched his throat as he looked down and he asked,” What are you crying about?”

“You have been avoiding me.” The words came rushing out before she could stop them. She held her gaze locked on his paint-stained shirt, holding her breath. Another tear fell from her eyes.

“What?” he asked again, this time his voice gentle. The Troy Brady kind of gentle.

“Ever since you dropped me off at church after Christmas. You never showed up after that.”

“Dannie—”

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I just thought I’d want to spend more time with you and our friends before I go back to the convent. I don’t know how long I’d have to be gone again and I just want to spend more time with you guys. I just…I think I am not just used to you treating me like I’m not there.” She pushed away from him and maintained a good distance between them. “Can’t we just go back to the way things were before last year? Can we just be friends again and fight and piss each other off?”

His face was blank and she didn’t know how to read it. He was one of the few people she knew who couldn’t keep their emotions from showing on their faces but now he was just staring down at her with that blank expression. She looked away and stared at the crowd.

“I think I am ready to dive back in that river of hands and paints,” she said.

“Danica,” he started and she looked up to him expectantly, forcing a smile on her face. He was frowning. “You know I’m doing my best, right?”

“By staying away?”

“By dealing with this thing on my own. That’s different.”

She smiled at him. “I know this is selfish but can you deal with it after the wedding?”

“What?”

“As I’ve said, I want to spend more time with my friends. You are the only family I know and I want to just spend more time with all of you before I go back after the wedding without this awkwardness between us. But if you want to keep the distance, I’ll try to deal with that. I can’t force you to do what you don’t want to do.” How ironic, she thought.

He opened his mouth to say something but he chose not to. Slowly, he nodded and shrugged. He smiled at her but it did that reach his eyes. “Well, then, let’s go find our friends, my friend. ”

Troy took her hand in his and she let him lead her through the crowd of face-painted people again.

---

“You look tired, Danica. Let me drive,” Troy was saying. Everyone was still coated with paint and none of them even bothered to wash up when they decided it was time to go home. It was a nightmare for us vehicles!

Yes, let him drive, Danny baby! I urged. She looked like hell and I didn’t want to have another accident on the road. Paint smear on my seats would be better than a wrecked bumper or worse!

“What about Tata?”

You can leave her here like you left me last New Year! I shouted. Tata almost fumed out her exhaust at me. Just joking, girl. Don’t be overdramatic.

“I’ll drive,” Lee offered, his hand in the air, ready to take Tata’s keys.

Without a hint of hesitation, Troy threw the set of keys to Lee and walked toward me. “The keys, Danica,” he ordered.

Dannie baby hesitated.

“Just give him the keys, Dannie,” George said, already climbing inside Vicky, Jordan already behind the wheel.

“We’ll be more at ease knowing Troy’s driving. You look like you’ve been to war,” Jackie added, her head popping out of Beatle’s open window.

Troy’s brows were raised, his palm up and waiting for Dannie to give him the keys to my engines. Dannie finally sighed and dropped the keys in his hand.

“Just so you know, I’ve really been to war,” Dannie said to Jackie. “After you guys left me behind to get lost.”

“We’re sorry!” Jackie said with a grin. “We won’t do it again, I promise.”

Dannie rolled her eyes with a smile and walked to climb inside my passenger seat as Troy adjusted himself behind my wheels. Man, I forgot how big you are!

“We’ll go right ahead,” said Miguel, climbing inside Tata to join Lee.

They were followed by Beatle and then Vicky. Troy honked to say goodbye to his friend who was already back inside his home and we were back on the road.

Don’t you dare throw a splatter at me! I shouted at almost everyone with a can of paint in their hands as we passed by them on the street.

“Take a nap, Danica,” Troy ordered as we were leaving Cadiz. “It’s going to be a long drive.”

“I’m okay.”

“Suit yourself,” he said. And before we knew it, she was snoozing against my headrest five minutes out of the city.

Troy kept throwing glances at her sleeping form and I’d pay for what he had in mind. What are you thinking, my boy?

He did not drive me as fast as he would Tata and he was exaggeratingly very careful when we encountered humps on the road. She won’t break because of a freaking hump, man!

It was not for long before the others were out of sight and we were leisurely driving down the road with Dannie baby deep in sleep.

I was surprised when Troy guided me to the side of the road and we stopped.

What now? What’s wrong?

Troy turned to look at Dannie, his face looking like a man who had to take a difficult Calculus test. Dannie had not stirred even when we had stopped moving.

My boys just watched her sleep for a few quiet minutes. He kept reaching out with his still paint-stained hand to lift her hair away from her face in an awkward kind of way so he didn’t have to make skin contact and wake her up.

What are you thinking, my boy? I asked.

His eyes told me he was in deep thought and it was very rare for me to see Troy Brady thinking.

“The hell with it,” he finally muttered in haste as he put me back in gear.

What the—where are we going, Troy? I asked, my engines quivering with anxiety.

He did not guide me back to the same direction as we were taking before. The others were on their way south back to Bacolod. That was where we should be heading too!

But we were on our way north to… Troy, where are we going, buddy? Surely you know this is the wrong way, right? This side of the road will take us to Sagay, not Bacolod! Is this another kidnapping? It is, isn’t it? Come on, tell me what you are planning to do!

“I’m taking my last chance,” he muttered to himself as he stepped on my gas toward north, putting a growing distance between us and home.

Chapter 10

A piece of the past…

“Until when?” George demanded angrily.

“Does your mother know?”

“Until I can make it on my own. Until I can get Tessa out of that house,” she answered George. “She doesn’t have to know. She’ll think I am lying,” was her answer to Jackie.

The three of them fell silent. Dannie could only pray with her eyes open as memories of the previous night flashed in her mind.

He would sometimes make her do things any child should not ever go through.

When she was small, she thought it was his way of loving her as her father. The things he did to her made her uncomfortable. Later, they made her feel dirty.

She had wanted to tell her mother, but made threats.

He’d touch Tessa, too, he had said. And he’d kill all of them. The same words over the years had caused her fear.

So she kept her silence.

Until that day she could no longer bear to be quiet. She had to tell someone or she’d go insane.

George had an idea, but it was still a shock. Jackie had started crying hysterically.

George was already talking about plans but she was not listening. She was thinking of Tessa. Her sister had to be safe first.

PRESENT DAY.

It was all or nothing for Troy my boy. And we both knew we’d be in trouble the moment Dannie woke up.

She wouldn’t stay asleep for long, Troy , I told him.

And I was right. Dannie baby slowly came awake and she did not move for quite some time, blankly looking through my windshield. The sky was getting dark. I counted until she moved her head to look out her side of the window, a frown slowly sneaking its way in her beautiful face.

Oh, baby, if you only know…

Troy almost turned to stone when he noticed Dannie waking up and looking out the window. His eyes were fixed on the road like glue and I saw the movement of his throat as he swallowed in anxiety.

“Troy, where are we?” Dannie baby, the ever innocent child, asked.

“Somewhere north, I guess” Troy answered, obviously trying to sound normal. Oh, you have thought that far, didn’t you? Let’s see how FAR you’ve come prepared for what comes next, my boy.

This time, Dannie baby was sure he was up to something and she was starting to look angry. “Troy, where are we exactly?”

“We are actually on our way to Dumaguete,” he answered.

Okay, that was fast. You shouldn’t have told the truth while driving, buddy. Not safe at all.

But Dannie was not the hysterical type so she took a few seconds to calm herself, taking a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Her hands were balled into fists. “Let’s turn around now, please. I want to go home.”

Troy gulped once more but guessing on the speed of my wheels, we were not going to do any U-turn. “Danica, hear me out first—”

“Stop the car now, Troy.” Dannie’s voice was strong and cold by then.

Okay, so I am just THE CAR now. Great, DANICA.

“No,” Troy said, shaking his head. “We’re going to Dumaguete. You need a break. I need a break.”

“You are kidnapping me again.”

True, I agreed.

“We’ll go home in time, don’t worry.”

“Troy, I am trying not to do something stupid right now. You are crossing some boundaries here,” Dannie said with a warning tone.

“Boundaries I should have crossed before you decided you want to become a nun,” Troy answered, his voice serious. Okay, buddy, keep your calm now. That was a good line, by the way.

“Troy, how many times do we have to talk about this? Why do we have to go ‘round and ‘round about THIS?” Dannie asked. “All I want is to just—”

“Return to the way things were before I told you I am in love you?” Troy finished for her. “Danica, I am not willing to return to that hell ever.” He threw her a glance before turning his eyes on the road which, by the way, was almost stark black if not for my headlights. “Wait,” he said before Dannie could say anything. “You have to know that what I am going through right now cannot be compared to what I went through before I confessed everything to you.”  Dannie closed her mouth shut, rendered speechless. “I’d rather have you or nothing at all.”

My bumpers almost fell off at the same time Dannie’s mouth dropped open. “Troy—” she started but he was vigorously shaking his head.

“I am never going to be alright being your friend, Danica. I’ve been that for years. I’ve been pretending to be that for years. So don’t say that being friends is going to work. It will be bound for a great disaster, at least on my part. That’s what I have always believed ever since you came back. I tried but it is not working no matter how much you want it to be just like before. It will never be the same for me and you know it is not going to be the same for you as well. So let’s make one thing clear: I will be your lover or nothing at all.”

“Troy, you know—”

“I know! I know, okay?!” Troy’s voice boomed loud inside my small compartment and doors almost fell off their hinges. Someone’s really angry! “I know, okay?” he repeated in a lower voice. “I know,” he said, swallowing. His grip on my steering wheel tightened. “But I can’t accept it. Not now, maybe never. So I am taking my last chance.” He threw her another glance as he said the last word. And he continued talking, facing the road. And I guess it made him a bit more confident that way because the words just started rolling out of his mouth. “I won’t risk my chances of going to heaven by kidnapping you away from Him but I at least have to try. At least once, Danica. So, please, just let me figure everything out inside my head. Let’s figure this thing out without the let’s-just-be-friends-again option. Just a few days and then I’ll forget about you or—if fate and the Lord will allow it—I’ll have you. But I won’t be your friend again until someone else comes along to prove that you’re not the right one but I highly doubt it will ever happen because I know it is you. I’ve known it for years. I just need to make you realize the same thing without pissing God. I am not threatening you about not being your friend if you choose to take the same path you chose. What I am just saying is that I can’t be your friend if you won’t have me because it will hurt like hell. So, before I decide to unfriend you, I will be selfish right now because I am doing this for myself. But I am not threatening you. I just need to know how we’ll end up before we unfriend each other.”

I knew Troy talked a lot, but it was one of those rare moments that I actually listened to every word he said. Man, you’re on a roll tonight! My windshield could barely keep up with that speech!

Dannie just looked at him, her eyes hooded by the shadows of my interior. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I had a feeling she wanted this as well.

You guys need a proper closer. Or a new beginning if Dannie would allow it. I have to vote for Troy on this one, Dannie baby. You both need this. No friends to bother you. No mother to come knocking on your door. No weddings to prepare for. Just you and him and that distant possibility—whatever it is.

And yeah, I guess he has a point about being lovers or nothing at all. He’ll be hurting the most if you go back to the convent and I guess he’ll heal faster if he unfriends you or something. But that sounded like a threat, right?

I had one worry though. Dannie was not comfortable being with a guy for hours. How would she deal with Troy for days?

She slumped back against my passenger seat. “Two.”

“What?” Troy and I asked in unison. Of course, only the human was heard.

“Two days. That’s all.”

“I planned for a week’s stay but I’ll settle for five.”

She shook her head. “You can’t take me away that long, Troy. You know I have things to do for the wedding. The bride will kill me if I—”

“Those two will walk down that aisle with or without preparations. The wedding and everything else will still be there when we get back. Five days, Danica. Just five days. Then you can do whatever you want. Remember, we might not be friends after this trip. You better make the most out of it.”

Nice one, buddy!

Danica closed her eyes and thought about Troy’s offer for a long time. I was pretty certain she was not taking the “unfriend” status seriously though she should.

She was not putting up a fight about turning back so we were pretty much on our way to Dumaguete.

“Fine.”

He flashed her his boyish, satisfied grin and she shook her head like a fish vendor tricked by a buyer for a lower price.

We drove for another five minutes without any sound but my engines. And the call came.

It was from Jackie.

“Where the hell are you?!” Jackie’s voice demanded when Troy answered his phone.

“We’re on our way to Dumaguete,” he answered with confidence now that Dannie had agreed to his deal.

“Dumaguete?! Are you crazy? Troy, you bring her home now. I don’t believe she’s going on her own free will.”

“Well, she is,” Troy said, his voice etched with hesitation. “Well, after my emotional speech, she agreed. You want to talk to her?”

“YES!”

He gave the phone to Dannie who took it and said, “Jackie.”

“Please tell me the truth. Did you agree to this?”

“I can hear you, Jackie,” Troy said dryly.

“Yes, I guess,” Dannie answered slowly.

“What the hell are you two going to do in Dumaguete?”

Dannie turned to Troy who only shrugged.

“I don’t know. He’s not telling me.”

“Give the phone back to him.”

The phone was back in Troy’s hand. “Try doing something stupid and I’ll come after you!” Jackie’s warning was serious. “I’ll let George kill you. Remember, Brady. One wrong move. One.”

“Come on, Jackie. You know me. I’ll take good care of her.”

“I won’t repeat myself, Brady. You’ll just be dead before you know it. And Dean wants to talk to you.”

I could picture out Jackie pushing the phone at Dean and pacing around the living room of the apartment while Georgie was asking her questions. “Hey, man, you really did it?” Dean asked with amusement.

“You knew?!” Jackie and Georgie’s voice asked from the background.

“Hey, we talked about it but there was nothing solid—ouch!” Dean’s voice was saying. Dannie and Troy patiently waited for the brawl to be over with Jordan’s voice shouting at the boys to let go of Dean’s neck. “Hey, Troy, Tata’s at Lee’s house, by the way,” Dean said when he was finally free from his attackers. “And you have to go online later.”

“What for?”

“You know what for. The appointment,” Dean said mysteriously.

What the hell are the two of you talking about?

“Okay, I’ll try,” Troy answered. “Can you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Can you ring Coco Grove for me? We will need two rooms tomorrow night for four nights. And any hotel in Dumaguete for tonight. My hands are full right now so…”

“Sure. But Coco Grove? Isn’t that in Siquijor?” Dannie’s head snapped toward Troy at the mention of the island.

He noticed and he hastily finished the call. “Yeah. Thanks, man. Tell the boys to not go after us and just let us be. ‘Bye.”

“Siquijor?!” Dannie asked, her eyes wide. “You did not tell me we’re going to Siquijor!”

“It’s just a couple of hours away from Dumaguete, Danica. It’s not like I am shipping you off to another continent. And I haven’t been there. Jordan said it’s a great place to think and be alone.”

“I don’t want to—”

His phone rang one more time and Dannie snatched it out of his hand before he declined. “Yes, Jackie,” she answered.

“Now that I have thought about it, I think it’s best you stay away from Bacolod for a while.”

Dannie frowned. “Why?”

Troy was frowning as well with disbelief.

“That LADY came by earlier. Jam just told us. She was looking for you.”

Dannie’s face twitched a little but she did not reveal anything more of what she felt. But Troy’s face registered fury.

“So yeah, we think you should stay away for a while. We’ll handle things on our own if ever she comes back again. Just be safe, okay? And tell Brady to check in three times a day or we’ll—”

Troy snatched the phone from Dannie and talked to Jackie. “You bet I will, Jackie. I trust you’ll kill me if I do something stupid. ‘Bye.”

He disconnected and a different kind of silence followed. It was like two different kinds of gasses were inside me. Troy was emitting a really strong one while Dannie’s was soft and calm but dangerous at the same time. They were both worried and angry, and they were worried and angry about the same thing: her past.

Chapter 11

A piece of the past…

Troy was in a grumpy mood that morning. His mother woke him up too early because she and his father will be going to the farm they just bought a few weeks back out of town. Since they never had a servant and he never had a nanny, his parents had to drop him off to school before anyone else.

He stayed up all night going through the cycle of studying and falling asleep and waking up. It was exam week and he should have listened to Danica’s suggestion last week that he should have started studying by then instead of bugging her about stupid formulas he was sure he would never be able to make use of in the future.

As he walked inside the classroom with a frown on his face, he was surprised to see a form hunched on a chair at one corner of the room. His frown deepened. He slowly walked closer, taking note that the ghost stories circulating around the school was just pure fiction. But before he could stop it, his foot bumped against one foot of the chair beside him and the metal screeched against the wooden floor of the classroom, causing the hunched figure to move.

He was about to turn and ran as far as the entrance where the school guard was when he identified the form to be Danica. “Danica?”

She looked unkempt, not like her usual look. And her eyes looked tired.

“What are you doing here this early?”

She had a guilty look on her face before panic set in. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“That you’re very punctual?”

She blinked. “Yeah,” she stammered. “Yeah. I was here very early.”

“How early?” he tested.

“Very. Why are you here at this hour anyway?”

“I have crazy parents.” He walked closer to her. “Why do I get the feeling that you stayed here all night?”

“What?” She asked, her reaction of shock too late to be genuine. “Of course not.”

“You’re lying. You’re not a very good liar.”

“Then stop asking questions you know I’ll never give the right answer to.”

He shrugged and turned to walk to his chair.

“Brady,” Danica called.

“Yeah?” he asked as he opened his bag.

“Don’t tell anyone.”

He lifted his head and looked at her for a long time before he slowly nodded. She looked okay. No bruises or anything. What happened? “Of course.”

“Thanks,” she uttered in a low voice.

“Wow, that’s a first. You thanked me,” he tried to jest.

“Because it’s the first time you did something I should be thankful for.”

He just laughed and took out his notebook. It was time to cram.

PRESENT DAY

“Were you serious about what you said?” she asked, breaking the silence between them. They had been traveling for a few hours now and the darkness was not helping with their speed. Troy was trying to be careful.

“About what? I said a lot of things,” he asked, peering closer to my windshield as another vehicle approached from the opposite direction.

“About unfriending me,” Dannie baby said.

Oh…so she’s concerned about that. That bothered you, didn’t it? Huh, of course it does.

Troy threw her a quick glance. “As I said, don’t feel threatened about it. What I meant about what I said is that I may not be able to be your friend. Not forever, I guess. Maybe for a while or more. I am not sure. But if you still feel strongly about becoming a nun after this trip, then I’ll distance myself from you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know…go somewhere far, explore the world. I won’t see you for a long time so that pretty much sums up to not being friends, I guess. But as I have said, don’t let that possibility cloud your judgment later. I don’t want to be the answer to the question of, ‘Why didn’t you become a nun?’.”

If I had any eyebrow, I would have frowned.

And Dannie baby was as confused as I was. “Isn’t that what you’re doing now? Trying to be the reason why I won’t go back to the convent?”

“No, of course that’s not it. What I’m doing is trying to help you realize what you really want to do. I don’t want to be just the only reason why you want to change your mind. I can be a part of it, sure. I’d be glad for that. But I don’t just want that. I would not be enough reason to turn your back to something as big as serving the Lord.” He turned his head to look at her quickly again. “I want you to not go back because you’re not afraid anymore.”

“Afraid?” Dannie baby and I uttered at the same time.

“Afraid of what’s outside the safety of the convent walls.”

“You mean I am escaping?”

Troy glued his gaze on the road ahead. “Maybe. But—” he added hastily before she opened her mouth to protest. “But I am not going to discuss that with you right now because I am driving and this topic is bound to become heated. So why don’t you take a nap? Before you know it we’ll be in Dumaguete.”

Dannie looked at Troy for a long time, her nose flaring. I knew she was angry. That flaring of her nostrils rarely happened and when it did, it meant she was on the verge of bursting. A lot of things happened to her today and it was only understandable that she exploded. She got lost in the crowd earlier as I had heard. She was kidnapped by Troy once again. She found out her mother came back to the apartment. Troy said they might not be friends if she opted to go back to the convent (which I highly thought as a threat). And now he just said he she entered the convent to escape.

The last one was something I might agree with. I already had a feeling about it a year ago. Maybe the others did too and they just didn’t say anything. But this was the first time anyone had told Dannie baby what they really thought. And Troy was that person. Maybe Dannie baby had to face this one. If she couldn’t accept the truth herself, someone should slap it to her pretty face.

But not now. Troy my boy was right. They were driving and they needed to simmer down a bit.

I am excited to go back to Siquijor but I think I’d rather stay behind in Dumaguete. I got this feeling that the two of you are going to be a lot to handle than Georgie and Jordan.

---

An hour ago, Jordan texted the hotel name to Troy. And after hours of driving they finally arrived at Dumaguete.

Right now, they were checking in and Dannie suddenly had the urge to ran out the doors and go home. Back in Bacolod, her friends were there. There was the safety of the apartment.

But the apartment may not be safe either. That lady may very well come back.

“Make sure there are two rooms,” she said to Troy.

“Yes, Danica, there are two rooms,” Troy answered patiently as he wrote on a piece of paper. “Go give the other boys a text. I don’t want them committing murder against for no reason.”

She sighed and took his phone from him. “It’s locked.”

He grabbed it from her and turned around to key in the password. She rolled her eyes. He gave it back to her and she sent a text to Jackie and George.

They had dinner at a local restaurant by the Boulevard area, near the pier they would go to the next day for their trip to Siquijor. A live band was playing outside and a few locals and other tourists were around, drinking and talking openly. The night air was cool but not cold.

A young couple was sitting right beside their table and the quiet dinner Troy and Dannie shared was somewhat being jeopardized by the couple’s heated discussion.

“All I’m saying is that we are stuck here because of that truck of yours,” the lady said. “I have told you many times that we should replace that truck.” The two were pretty much in the same mess as Troy and Dannie. Their shirts were also covered with paint.

“And I told you I’ll just bring it back for a complete overhaul when we get back, Steph,” the man answered as he continued eating like it was a natural thing.

“We should just call somebody. And we should have gone home. Whatever came to your mind to just step on the gas and go here? Do you know that you literally kidnapped your own wife?”

“I know someone around here. We’ll go tomorrow to have the truck checked. And you were a willing victim so no one really kidnapped anyone.”

“I hate your randomness. Have you called dad? Is Marty okay?”

“Yes. Don’t worry about it. And I know you love my randomness so don’t complain.”

“Ga, I know this is a trip we’ve been planning for a long time, but I don’t think I can stay here that long. What if Marty—”

“Hey, what did I tell you? No worrying over things that haven’t happened yet. Come on. We’ve been planning for this for months and it never came so now we’re here. This would not be happening if we don’t do it now,” the guy said.

“Then you should have planned for a different ride! And I have no dresses and my—”

“We’ll get the truck fixed tomorrow. We’ll get you some clothes from the mall as well. For now, just eat, drink and let’s just have some fun, okay? Don’t you miss this place? This is where we first kissed after we were locked up in jail because of your—”

“That’s so history, Ga. Let’s not talk about that,” the wife cut in. “I can’t believe you’re not even concerned…”

Dannie decided not to listen any further but Troy, on the other hand, seemed amused with the couple’s exchange. She kicked him under the table.

“Ouch! What was that for?!” he exclaimed, bending down to mend his shin.

“Just eat,” she mouthed.

Troy leaned over the table and with an amused smile said, “He also kidnapped her.”

Dannie just rolled her eyes while fighting a smile.

---

“I’ll go ahead,” Dannie later announced, standing up. The couple beside them had been fighting again because the lady didn’t think she could do the diving lesson tomorrow. Dannie had had enough of the bantering so she decided she needed rest. “You should rest too. You’ve been driving for hours.”

Troy just smiled at her, probably as bit tipsy after a few bottles of beer. “Just go ahead. Do you have your key?”

She nodded and left him sitting there, alone, beside the bantering couple.

Once inside her room, Dannie opened her bag, took out the only fresh outfit she brought, noted she needed a few change of clothes tomorrow before they left, and went to wash herself in the bathroom.

Refreshed, she went straight to bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.

She was here. She was really here. With Troy Brady.

And she had never been with a man this way. She had never let any man take her this far from Bacolod.

She shook her head and kept the fear at bay. Troy would not do anything to her. He was not her father. Not all men were capable of the things her father did to her. She closed her eyes and fought the memories that were trying to creep back.

Dannie was fast asleep in no time.

---

The series of knocks on her door woke her up. She was greeted by the heat of the sun coming through the curtained windows of her hotel room.

The knocks came again along with the ringing of her phone. She did not bother to check who was calling because she knew who it was.

She went directly to the door and opened it. There, standing outside, was Troy Brady. He looked fresh in his white shirt and cargo shorts. He was wearing his Ray Ban sunglasses and his smile was almost contagious. She smelled his very familiar smell—his signature smell ever since she could remember.

“Good morning! Rise and shine!”

Dannie left the door ajar and went back to bed. She needed a few more minutes.

“Hey, Danica, you have to get ready. Come on!”

“Just a few more minutes,” she begged as she snuggled back in bed.

“Hey, I only have a few days with you and I’d like to make each moment count. So, if you could just please get off that bed, I’d like to have a nice, sunny outdoor breakfast with you in five minutes.”

She groaned. “Just eat alone.”

“I promised the other boys I will not touch you, especially while in bed, but I did not say I won’t try,” he warned.

That did it for her. She shot out of bed and went straight to the bathroom.

“Great! I’ll be waiting outside the door so better hurry!” he said, his voice cheerful. Whatever negative feelings he had last night must have gone away with his beer, Dannie thought. “I’ll lock the door when I get out!” he added, shouting outside the bathroom door.

Dannie hurriedly washed her face. She didn’t even dare think about what lay ahead in the next few days with Troy Brady.

Chapter 12

A piece of the past…

“I don’t even know what to do…” George’s voice said.

“We should go to the police. He beats them up all the time. This has to stop,” Jackie’s voice answered.

“But Dannie doesn’t want us to, remember?”

“What if he does it again? What if this time, Dannie wouldn’t be able to…” Jackie’s voice faltered as she started to sob.

“Hey, don’t cry. She’ll feel even guiltier if she sees you like this. Okay, if he does it again, we’ll go to the police and I don’t care if Dannie will hate us for the rest of her life. Agreed?”

“Should we wait until the next attack? Couldn’t we just do it now?”

“Dannie said she’d not let it happen again.”

Silence fell between the two girls.

Troy, Miguel and Lee stared at each other, their faces grim. Troy’s jaw clenched and so did his hands. He grabbed Miguel and Lee’s shirt and led them away from the ladies’ room. “I have a plan. Who’s in?”

“What plan?” asked Lee.

“Let’s call it the DSC—Danica Secret Operation.”

“Uh…what sort of operation will it be?” asked Miguel.

“Isn’t it obvious, dimwit?” Lee asked dryly.

“We make it our mission to protect her,” Troy said, squaring his shoulders. “Her dad touches her again and we’ll race George and Jackie to the police.”

“I’m in,” Lee said excitedly.

“I’m in,” Miguel followed with a serious look.

PRESENT DAY

They were outside the hotel, bathing in the gentle heat of the morning sun as they ate their breakfast of chorizo ala recado, eggs and rice. Troy ordered for brewed coffee while Dannie went for the orange juice.

“Here, take this,” Troy said, giving her his sunglasses.

She started to shake her head but thought she wanted to have it anyway. The sun was not going to be this gentle later. She took it and wore it, smelling the very faint smell of Troy Brady.

As she ate, she watched him work on his phone.

“I thought you wanted to enjoy this moment with me. You’re using your phone.”

“I just need to check something,” he answered without looking at her. “Just really quick. It won’t take—shit!” he suddenly shouted, leaping out of his chair an almost turning their small round table upside down.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, alarmed.

“Shit, shit, shit!” he cursed some more, bending over his phone like someone who lost a big chunk on FORREX.

“What is it?” Dannie asked again. She didn’t want to think something bad happened to George or Jackie, but that was her first thought.

“I can’t believe this!” Troy whined, pacing around. He was on his phone again and this time, he brought it to his ear. “Lee! Hey, Lee! Shit! He hung up.” He was tapping on his phone again.

“Troy, what is it?” Dannie asked, her food forgotten. She had stood up to stand beside him.

“It’s nothing. Just eat your food. I’ll be right back in a few.” His phone was back to his ear.  “Migue—what the—“ he cried out once again. He was searching his phonebook once again and within seconds his phone was against his ear. “Jordan. Hey, what the hell, man! What did you do?!”

Dannie frowned at him, trying to decode what was happening.

“I told you I’ll go online, right? Why did you kick me out of the clan? I was just about to—what? I was beat from driving, man! Of course, we’re safe. But why the hell did you kick me out of the clan?” He was listening to whatever Jordan was telling him when Dannie’s punch hit his arm. “Ouch! Danica! What the hell—”

“You’re on an outrage because they kicked you out of COC?!” she cried out in disbelief.

“Hey, come on,” he said, blocking another attack with his free hand. “This is serious, okay? Hey, Jordan, I’ll call you back. You better get me back in the clan or I’ll form another one and tear you all to pieces!” He jumped away from Dannie before she could land another fist against his arm. “Hey, come on. Don’t overreact. I told you it’s nothing, okay?”

“I was dying of worry! I thought something had happened to George or Jackie or both!”

“Hey, calm down. Let’s just eat, okay?” he said, both hands fending off any possible attack.

Dannie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You are such a child. I can’t believe I’m stuck with you. I want to go home.”

“Hey, we have a deal, remember? Okay, I won’t play a single game while we’re together.”

“That’s not what I meant. You are just…forget it. I want to get this breakfast over with and I want this trip to be over with.”

“Danica…” he whined.

She threw him a look as she sat back down on her chair and he slowly made his way back to his side of the table and sat down. He carefully placed his phone beside his plate. He looked at it with longing for a while before he turned his attention to his food. “They kicked me out. I can’t believe it,” he muttered as he attacked his rice.

---

You wouldn’t believe where we were going.

We were on the island of Siquijor now, by the way. It is the island that quite a few people never dare visit because of the stories they had heard about the place. Many believe that the island is inhabited by witches and man-eating human monsters. A lot of weird stories have reached mainland. It was once known to be the Enchanted Island or something but I guess they were all just rumors because the last time I was here, nothing bad happened. I was with Jordan and Georgie then and they were the only two people I disliked when I was here. The island was like a paradise, really. Lots of fireflies at night thus many people had named the place the Enchanted Island or the Mystic Island. They said that you could see the island from far away at night because of the fireflies.

Anyway, despite the stories, there are still people who are adventurous enough to go here. And that included vehicles like me, of course. Fearless beetle Volks who had no care in the world but adventure, right?

But the stories about fortunetellers and witch doctors may be true after all because we were on our way to one.

Troy insisted on it.

Dannie and I disagreed, saying that such thing didn’t really exist. But he said it would be fun to try.

Tell him that only God has the power to know the future, Dannie baby. Tell him that. What would happen if the witches put a hex on me, huh? What if they curse me to never leave this place? What then, huh?

But no one was listening to my stricken voice.

We already dropped by Coco Grove to check in and we were once again on our way to the mountain. Siquijor had a lot of wonders to offer and one of them was the fact that it was an island with great white-sand beaches and of course, the very cool and refreshing mountain for caving and other adventures. But in the mountains also located were the locals who practiced witchcraft and fortunetelling.

Just go caving, guys. I’ll patiently wait for you outside the cave. I’d even drive inside if I could. Let’s just pass the fortunetelling!

But we were already on our way. Troy seemed to not mind the stories about the locals because he was fearless to ask them for direction. Most were smiling at us as we stopped to talk and ask direction, which was comforting somehow.

“I never thought you’re into fortunetelling,” Dannie baby said as we finally found the place. It was a house. A usual house like the hundreds we had passed by. There was nothing eerie. No cobwebs. No leafless trees. No gloomy atmosphere.

Fake. Let’s just go, guys. You’ll just waste money here.

“I’ve always wanted to try and I heard they have the one of the best fortunetellers here,” Troy answered Dannie as he opened my door. I wish I could lock the two of them inside and turn on my own ignition and drive us as far away from that place as possible. But I was powerless. I couldn’t do anything but wish my tires were good enough for a fast run later if something went wrong.

Dannie seemed not bothered at all, but she didn’t look eager either.

Hey! Be careful, you two! Don’t eat or touch anything! Don’t make eye contact! I shouted at them as they walked away toward the house.

---

Dannie was not into such thing but Troy seemed eager to try it out. And since she didn’t know when she would be able to return to this amazing place, she thought it wouldn’t hurt to try everything the place had to offer.

“We forgot about my clothes. I haven’t bought any before we went here,” she reminded him as they waited outside the door.

“We’ll find a shop later,” he said, his eyes fixed on the unfamiliar signs on the door. “You think they mean something?”

“To someone, they must be. Why? Getting scared?” she asked, peering up at him.

He blinked a few times, a habit of his whenever he was being defensive. “Of course not.” He squared his shoulders as sounds of approaching footsteps came from the other side.

What greeted them surprised them as the house did. The woman looked like any ordinary woman. No dark shawl or white hairs. A mid-forty-something woman was smiling at them as welcome. “Come in, young lads,” she said, revealing a bright smile.

Dannie pushed Troy inside. They followed the lady into a brightly lit living room.

“Sit down,” she ordered, pointing at the couch in front of her. She took the seat across from them. A deck of cards was sitting on the table between them, waiting for the lady’s hands to do their magic.

“Is there any specific things you want to know?” she asked. “Love? Fortune? The usual?”

Troy looked at Dannie and he nodded when she didn’t answer. “I’ll go first,” he volunteered.

“Quite a gentleman you have here,” the lady quipped at Dannie. She just smiled in return.

The lady proceeded to work on her cards, shuffling them a few times and laying one card at a time on the table. Her face was unreadable as she read Troy’s fortune. “Hmm… interesting. You’re in love with someone.” She threw Dannie a look before she continued. Troy just shrugged at the comment as if it was not something new. The lady nipped on her lower lip. “But you think she’s unreachable. She has chosen a different path and you are losing hope.” Troy did not move or give any hint of whatever he was feeling. Dannie, on the other hand, was starting to feel uncomfortable. “But things will fall into their proper places in no time. When you get home, in fact. Things will sort themselves out.”

“What do you mean?” Troy asked, his voice almost desperate.

“The cards don’t give specifics, my boy. I just read what they tell me.”

Troy shifted in his position and cleared his throat. “I have one question.”

The lady waited for it without a word.

“Will I be happy?”

Dannie felt something squeeze at her heart when she heard the question. She wanted to leave but she had to bear this one. Troy wanted this so she’d go along with it for now.

The lady took out another card and laid it on the table. “Yes, you’ll be happy.” The lady’s face was mysterious. She was not smiling like she had been before and Dannie was pretty sure Troy barely believed what she just said.

The fortuneteller looked at Dannie with interest. “I’d like to read you now if you don’t mind,” she said. At that moment, she knew the lady was more interested in her than Troy. She wanted to flee. But she found herself curious at the same time. She just gave a small nod and the lady gathered all her cards and started to shuffle.

The woman’s face turned dark as she started to lay the cards on the table. She eyed Dannie for a while before she continued. “So much pain. So much…” she was shaking her head and for a moment she looked like she was about to cry. Dannie shifted in her chair uncomfortably. Troy was almost leaning over the cards as if he could read them himself. Dannie didn’t want him to hear whatever the lady was going to say—may they be true or not.

“Can you tell me about something else?” she asked, looking at the lady meaningfully.

The lady gave a small nod of understanding and changed the course of her reading. Dannie didn’t have to have her past or present be read to her. Those things were already known to her.

“Oh, you’re going to be a mother.”

Troy’s jaw dropped and so did Dannie’s.

“A what?” they both exclaimed in unison.

---

They had been at it for the whole trip.

Troy was making a point about Dannie not becoming a nun from what the lady from earlier had said.

“She said you’re going to be a mother. That says you’ll marry, probably me, and bear a child. You’ll be a mother.”

“That could mean godmother,” she countered. “There are different kinds of mothers.”

“Or grandmother,” Troy said, not giving up. His face was full of excitement and renewed hope. Oh, poor boy. How do you get this feeling out of your system once she leaves you behind again?

“Or mother superior,” Dannie threw back.

Oh, that’s a good one, Dannie baby. But I DON’T LIKE IT!

“Come on, you can’t mean you aspire to be a mother superior in the future—”

“Stop making fun of my life choices, Troy,” Dannie cut in, her voice sharp.

Oops, we sort of touched a nerve there, buddy. Better save the others for next time.

Troy did not say a word. He and I both knew we had to give Dannie some space.

So we drove back to Coco Grove in complete, utter silence. For a moment I thought I was in a convent myself. I didn’t like it, I tell you.

---

“Want something to eat?” Troy asked. “They have a sunset bar within a few minutes. We still have time before they leave.”

They were in their cottage. It had a queen-size bed, living room and a bathroom on the ground floor. Upstairs, in an open half-space were two single beds. Troy, of course, being the gentleman that he was, took the upstairs space, giving Dannie the larger bed.

He had taken her to a small shop earlier to buy a few set of clothes which she immediately changed into the moment they arrived. Now, she was sitting in the veranda outside and he was standing by the doorway, awkwardly thinking of ways to keep her entertained. She knew he was trying really hard, but she was not in the mood. She was bothered by the fortuneteller’s reading earlier. The lady had given her a hug before they left and she felt the pain the lady felt for her. If it was true that the woman could read Dannie’s past, then was it also possible that she could read her future? What did she mean when about her becoming a mother?

“Are you still mad?” Troy asked.

She snapped out of her reverie and looked at him. “No, I’m fine. Have you called Jackie and George?”

“Yes, I have.” His face was still serious. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Dannie stood up. “Yes. I’m just not in the mood, Troy.”

“So, you’re still mad.”

“No,” she almost snapped. And before she could spoil the night by being such a brat, she decided to take some time off by herself. But Troy’s hand was quick as she passed by him and he held on to her.

His strong grip as he pulled her back brought a lot of responses from her and one of them was to break free. He rarely used any force on her whenever he touched her but this was one of them. Add the fact that she had just been refreshed with her dark memories and that they were alone in a very unfamiliar place and it was a miracle that she did not scream for help.

She went rigid, almost stone-like. “Let me go, Troy,” she said, her breath escaping her. She’d suffer hyperventilation if she couldn’t control her panic attack.

Troy’s brows fused in a frown. “Danica, what’s wrong?”

“Let me go!” she finally shouted, pulling at her arm in desperation. And he did. And she briskly walked back to her chair to calm her breathing. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“What? All I did was grab your hand and—” He stopped talking as realization slowly crept in. Slowly, his feet made their way toward her but did not invade her private space. “Danica, answer one question for me, please.”

She did not move at all. Her focus one on her breathing and her racing heart. And Troy’s question which she didn’t want to hear.

“Did your bastard of a father do more than just beat you up?” he asked, his voice full of disgust.

She did not answer. The tears flowing dropping from her eyes to her hand was answer enough. Troy’s reaction was to send the other bamboo chair flying over the veranda.

Chapter 13

A piece of the past…

It happened again.

And he wanted to wring the bastard’s neck.

But he had to let it happen to stop it.

He was holding the camera, trying his hard to keep his hand steady.

Miguel and Lee were on the lookout. He was standing on a broken bamboo bench outside the house.

The man was beating Danica again.

And Troy caught it all on camera.

That very same afternoon Troy, Miguel and Lee went straight to the police.

PRESENT DAY

She cried silently as Troy kicked another chair across the veranda in anger. She didn’t want to see his furious look so she kept her head bent, her tears blurring her vision, her emotions muddled.

“I should have killed that bastard,” Troy rasped out.

It was no secret to a lot of people that her father used to beat her up. But the other things he did to her never went public. “He went to prison for his crime,” she finally uttered.

Troy was silent. And she was suddenly caught in his embrace. He was kneeling in front of her, his big form enveloping her frail one. Her first instinct was to push him away but the comfort he offered was what she much needed at the moment.

“I am sorry. I am sorry,” he said over and over again until his voice faded in his own tears. His shoulders started to shake and she felt him sharing his pain. “I should have been there for you. I could have done more. I didn’t know,” he said in a croaky voice.

Tears welled up her eyes and flowed down her cheeks as she took comfort in his strong arms. She warded off the part of her that wanted to push him away, to protect her self, because she needed his embrace. They comforted each other that way.

“Someone reported him on that last day he beat me up. I will always be grateful to whoever it was. Don’t be angry about things you couldn’t change now.”

She felt him stiffen and his body’s reaction alarmed her once more. He stepped away before she could push.

“You’re saying you’re not angry?” he asked, his voice an octave higher. His eyes were still wet and he was not making any effort to wipe the tears away.

Dannie finally looked up, blinked the last of her tears and looked straight into his furious eyes. “To what he did to me?” she asked. He did not reply. He waited for hers but she stayed silent for a long time. She slowly shook her head. “I am not angry to what he did to me.” She slowly stood up and forced a smile on her face. “But I can’t forgive him either. I don’t think I can ever forgive them.” She walked past him.

Troy held her arm in a strong grip, stopping her. She didn’t have to look to know that he was frowning. “Them?” he asked.

Her hand gently pushed his hand away from her arm, trying hard not to tug harder knowing it was Troy holding her and not her father or other men. “You know what that word means. And I don’t want to discuss that right now. I need to get some air.” She started to walk away again.

“Danica—”

Dannie stopped walking away but did not turn to face him. “I just need a bit of air, Troy.”

---

She was sitting on the sand, watching the sun slowly fade behind the horizon, leaving behind a gradation of red, orange and yellow in the sky. There was calmness all around as the few people in the resort started to walk back to their cottages to freshen up and prepare for their dinner reservations. The sunset floating bar could still be seen in the distance.

Her chin rested on her knees, her arms hugging her legs.

“It has been almost an hour and I think you’ve recovered enough and allow me to sit beside you,” Troy said, sitting down beside her. “But I’ll give you a little bit of space,” he added in haste when noticed her alarmed state, scooting a few inches away from her. His face was back to his old, Troy look—playful and up-to-no-good.

Her body relaxed and her chin went to rest back on her knees. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“That’s okay. I am not sorry about the chairs though. I was really angry.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Danica, I am in love with you. You can expect me to just calmly react to the fact that your bastard father—Forget it,” he said, stopping himself as his jaw tightened with his control. “I don’t even want to mention that good-for-nothing-fucker.”

A long, comfortable silence fell between them.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked her. She was staring straight into the ocean, watching the floating bar slowly make its way back to shore.

“I am just wondering how I can make you un love me.”

He scoffed. “As if you can. Wanna place a bet on that?” He was in his jesting mood this time and she hated to spoil this moment.

She shrugged. “Well, that was just a thought. You asked.”

“Because I was hoping you’d say you’re thinking how you’d tell the sisters that you’re not going back.”

Dannie rolled her eyes. “Big dream you got there.”

He let out a big breath as he slowly fell on his back on the sand, his hands under his head. “Oh, Danica, you don’t know the half of it.”

“Really? Pray do tell.” She regretted her words the moment they rolled out her mouth. She didn’t want to hear Troy’s dreams.

“As of the moment, topping the list of my dreams is making you fall in love with me,” he answered nonchalantly. “Next is get off your friend zone and be tagged as your boyfriend. Next is, of course, make you realize that your past doesn’t really matter because no one can do time travel so that means we are not ever going back to that time—there’s just moving forward. And…let’s see…”

“If it is going to get cheesier, I’d like to pass,” she uttered with feigned mockery.

A laugh grumbled out of his chest. “I am just being honest. It’s no secret what I feel toward you.”

“And you think it will change my decision?” It was an innocent question.

“I hoped it would be enough, yes,” he admitted. “But I realized I can’t be with you if you can’t love me back. And I can’t force you either so that makes it more challenging on my part. I can try, but I can’t do it with you inside a convent.”

Dannie took a deep breath, taking in the breeze of the ocean. She looked down at him. His face was calm and she wondered if he was getting used to the waiting and the pain.  “Troy, there are things that happened to me that made me think I am underserving of any forms of love.” She gauged his reaction and when it didn’t change, she continued, “And I know it’s wrong for me to think that. I have gotten over the I-don’t-deserve-your-love crap. I know I deserve all the love I can get. God had shown me that.” She turned her head back to the ocean and tucked her long hair behind one ear. She spoke facing the ocean. “But I can’t give love as equally as other people. That’s my problem. I can’t give love because I don’t know how to forgive and forgiveness is a great factor to any relationship. The only one I can wholeheartedly love is God because He is not capable of hurting me.”

Silence reigned between them.

“I can’t promise I can’t hurt you if that’s what you expect me to say,” he slowly said. “I am bound to disappoint you in some ways because I will never be as perfect as the Man upstairs. I may hurt you with hurtful words and actions if not physically. I am bound to break my promises. But I can promise one thing: a bunch of happy moments and memories to drown everything you’ve been through. I am the epitome of fun and good times. I can give as much love as you deserve and I won’t stop trying to do so. I can be a man, I can be a child. I can be a friend. I can be a whole lot more. If that’s not enough for you, I don’t know what is.”

Dannie sighed. “Sounds like you’re bribing.”

“No. I am bragging. I am bragging about the awesome things I can share with you.” He suddenly pushed away from the sand and stood up before her. He held out his hand toward her. “But who am I to force you to choose me and the imperfect world outside the convent, right?” He motioned with his outstretched hand. “Come on, let’s go get dinner and get this heavy feeling out of the way. We’re here to enjoy.”

---

“No, man, don’t hang up!” Troy said in a rush as he paced in front of me.

Where the hell was Dannie baby?

“I don’t care about the stupid clan. You can get me back when I get there. I can’t contact Lee and Miguel. They won’t answer my calls. Yes, I know you have a wedding to prepare and I don’t want to take much of your time. I just need someone to talk to.”

Oh, it’s the groom. Great.

“I think I know why Danica entered the convent.” He listened for a few seconds, sighed in frustration and calmly explained, “No, I am not trying to find a different excuse other than serving God. I just have this feeling that she wants to be a nun for the wrong reasons. No, I am not going crazy. I just believe that her decision to enter the convent was all so sudden. Tell me if you wholeheartedly believe that she went in that convent because that’s what she really wants.” We both waited for five minutes. “See? And if you ask the others, they wouldn’t be able to say with complete certainty that Dannie wants to be a nun because it’s her calling.” Troy was frowning now and he was looking over his shoulder, checking if Dannie baby was around. “Yes, as I’ve told you, I might know the reason. I can’t give you all the details because I am not entitled to spill her secrets. What I can tell you though is that I think she went to the convent to punish herself and escape.” He took his phone away when the big voice boomed a reaction. “Yeah, yeah. Hang me for that but that’s what I think. What do you think I should do?” A long moment passed as he intently listened for advice. “No, I will not confront her. Do you want me killed on an island? Then you will lose an awesome wedding photographer, moron. No, give me a different advice.” He stopped pacing as the message from the other line sank in. “Not a bad idea, man, but it’s going to be very challenging.”

WHAT IS IT?! WHAT IS IT?! I demanded.

He did not answer. He ended the call with a confused look on his face. He was considering the advice.

WHAT IS IT?!?!?!

But he walked away, not hearing me. He left me in my parking space with two kayaks who didn’t know how to talk. Great.

---

“Where have you been?” she asked him the moment he entered the cottage.

He gave her a wicked smile as he closed the door behind him. “You sound like a nagging wife. I quite like it.”

Dannie rolled her eyes. “Have you made the reservation? We can just eat here.”

He nodded his head. “I’ve reserved us a table by the beach.”

“That sounds romantic but you know—”

“Chill out, Danica. It’s not a date if you don’t want it to be. It is just an awesome dinner with a friend by the beach.”

She arched an eyebrow. And then she was reminded that this could be the last few moments she’d spend with him as a friend. “Let’s go then.”

“After you, my lady,” he said, waving his arm to the door.

The walk to the restaurant was not far. The resort was quiet and the only sound came from the gentle waves of the ocean a few meters away. When they reached the place, the restaurant was full.

“I never thought there are this many people here,” she said with awe.

Troy shrugged. “The place is large.”

A lady approached them with a smile and Troy gave her his name. They were immediately escorted to a table for two and true to his words, it was located just about two meters away from the ocean.

“I told you,” Troy whispered as they took their seats. He ordered for them and while waiting for their dinner, Troy played with his camera. Of course, she was the subject.

“Stop that,” she told him. “I don’t want that on any social networks. I should not be having a vacation like this.”

“Convent rules?”

She chose to ignore the question and the clicks continued.

“The lighting is really good,” he said. Candles were lit at the center of their table. Torches were scattered everywhere, giving the place a tribal and classy feel. After a few minutes, his attention was diverted toward the restaurant which was glowing yellow.

“What is it about photography that you like?”

He did not remove his eye from the lens as he answered. “Capturing moments.”

“But in the process you won’t be able to enjoy the moments because you’re busy taking them.”

“I take five percent of those moments alone. Then I put this camera down and enjoy the 95 percent of it. And once I get back home, I look at the products of the five percent I missed and then I will remember the precious 95 percent I enjoyed.” He faced her and focused the camera at her. She heard the click before she could cover her face with her hands. “See? I captured a good moment and I could come back to it in the future and share it with the world.”

Dannie shook her head turned her head to look at the darkness of the ocean.

“Tell me what you guys do inside the convent. I am really curious.”

She shot him a suspicious look.

“I am not trying to have another fight here. I am just really curious.”

“We do a lot of things. And most of them are fun as well despite what other people think,” she started to say. “We wake up, we pray, we do our specific tasks, we study, we pray some more, we take meals together. We also laugh and make jokes. We talk about important matters. We do a lot of charity works and we help a lot of people because of that. Life in the convent is pretty fulfilling.”

“Fulfilling?”

She nodded. “Inside the convent, I feel safe. There’s no fear, no sadness. There’s just contentment.”

“And you’re content with contentment? And what of happiness?”

“We are happy to serve the Lord. What better contentment and happiness can there be?”

She expected him to contradict her statement but he didn’t. He just shrugged and went back to playing with his camera, leaving his question a hanging thought in her mind. What of happiness? Was she really happy inside the convent like the other sisters?

As she looked at Troy concentrating on taking his shots, his brows furrowed in concentration, she wondered if she had had put on enough efforts to find real happiness in her life. Had she captured enough moments outside the convent before she entered? Was it really important to do so? But there was one pressing question she refused to entertain until now.

Was she afraid she’d find greater happiness here, in the outside world?

Chapter 14

A piece of the past…

With her father now in prison, Troy thought Dannie would start to recover.

But two weeks after her father was arrested and sent to prison for child abuse, he noticed that Dannie was getting worse. She looked unkempt compared to her usual clean and tidy self. And she barely fought back to his banters.

“What do you think is wrong with her?” he asked Miguel and Lee.

“Her father’s gone to prison, right?” Lee asked.

“Maybe they are still adjusting. The man worked for their food,” said Miguel.

“Her mother doesn’t work?” Troy asked.

Lee shrugged. “We don’t know a lot about Danica.”

They later confirmed that Dannie was having money problems after eavesdropping in Jackie and George’s conversation.

But with everything he had heard and with how Dannie was acting in class, Troy couldn’t help but think that something else was happening with her. He just couldn’t point it out.

PRESENT DAY

“Bored” was not enough a word to picture what I was feeling that time.

It was not summer season so there were not a lot of sexy vics and gals around. I could even count with my tires the number of vehicles that caught my attention over the past two days or so of my stay on the island.

I was missing a lot of action in Bacolod. The wedding was on its way and I knew the bride and groom would be going around town meeting a lot of interesting people. And I needed something fun and fresh even for just a while.

Dannie baby and Troy seemed to have forgotten that they had driven me to this freaking island. When would we go out of the resort and tour the place? The last time I was here, Jordan and Georgie were having some push-and-pull issues of their own that they forgot the island had more things to offer than kissing and fighting. I couldn’t even close my headlights and remember what had happened the last time I was here because it was a total failure. Jordan was a big failure that time and I prayed Troy would not follow his example.

---

After their dinner at the seashore, the air around them had somehow relaxed. Dannie was glad that Troy was back to his old self and thankful that he chose to forget about what he found out about her past. If he was still bothered, he never showed.

“What do you want to do?” she asked him the following day. They just had breakfast at the Filipino restaurant in the resort and Troy was playing with his camera again.

He mumbled something which she did not catch.

“What?”

He looked up and looked at her with a blank expression. “What?”

She gave out a sigh and slouched in her chair. “This was your plan, remember? Don’t you have any plans for today?”

“Why? Are you getting bored?”

“No, but I’d like to know if you have any plans so I’ll know what I can do today.”

“Should everything be planned for you?”

She stared at him for a time before answering, “I like to be organized. So?” When he continued to tweak his camera instead of answering her question, she prodded, “Troy.” When he continued to ignore her she kicked him under the table as she called, “Brady!”

“Ow! What? What?” he asked with irritation.

“What’s the plan?”

He placed his precious camera on the table and leaned back in his chair. “You’re so impatient. Why don’t you just relax in your seat and enjoy this moment? Enjoy the view,” he finally said, waving one arm toward the open blue-green shore. “Breath them all in before you lock yourself in that convent.”

She opened her mouth to argue but he held up his hand to stop her.

“I know, that was a strike. But you can’t deny I’m right. This might be the last moment you’ll ever get to enjoy something like this.”

She inhaled a lungful of the ocean air, containing the remarks she wanted to throw at him, and calmed herself. “I just want to know what your plans are for today. I was hoping you have a lot, considering you took me here to change my mind.”

He opened his mouth in feigned wonderment. “Wow. You actually reminded me of my persona agenda. Now I get the feeling that you unconsciously want me to really execute my plans.”

Did she? Dannie shook her head. She had made her decision and she’d stick to it. She was going back to the convent.

---

When I saw them coming toward me, I did not have that much hope. These people had the tendency to just go to where I was and have a talk, a fight or some sort of romantic moment like kissing and making out. Them coming toward me could not easily mean they were going to take me out for a drive.

Hey, my tires are developing ARTIRETIS here! Care to give me some exercise? I told them as they came near.

But hope started rising when I noticed Dannie baby carrying her bag and Troy freaking Brady’s excited steps.

Okay, so we are going somewhere, right? You’re driving me around, right?

And the answer was in Troy’s hand. My keys!

He opened the door for Dannie and climbed behind my wheel after. I tell you, I didn’t mind his weight at all. I was so eager to spin my wheels to even care about how Troy’s size was crowding my front seat. As a matter of fact, I had long ignored it.

I am so excited! Where are we going? Huh, where?

Before my question was answered, Troy’s phone rang. He gave a frustrated sigh as he tapped the screen and said, “What, Jackie?”

“You’re on speaker. Where are you guys?” Jackie’s voice boomed through the speaker.

“We’re just about to go out to tour the island,” Troy answered. “Danica’s here.”

“Good. Dannie, you have to go home. The wedding’s not happening without you, remember?”

“I suggest you go home as soon as you can,” Georgie’s voice added.

“They are just cramming,” Dean added somewhere. “Go and enjoy yourselves.”

“Thanks, man!” Troy answered with a grin. “Did you hear that, boys?”

“We were not talking to you,” Jackie’s voice snapped. “Dannie, are you all right?”

“Yes,” Dannie baby answered. “I thought you told me to stay away for a while.”

“Well, yes, we did. But now you can go home. We need you here.”

“And we need you to fit your dress again,” Georgie added. “Troy, take her home.”

“Why the hell would I do that? The wedding’s still two weeks away. And it’s not like Danica’s the one going down the aisle, right? We’ll go home on time, don’t worry.”

“We always worry! She’s with you! Who wouldn’t worry?!” Jackie cried out.

“Hey, you know me! I keep my promises!” Troy said in defense.

“You promised you’d go online last time the clan had a battle and you didn’t,” Dean spoke.

I saw Dannie baby roll her eyes.

“I was driving! Did you put me back? How could you kick me out of the clan?”

“What the hell! Stop talking about COC!” Georgie cried out. “Jordan! The water’s boiling! I’ll throw that stupid iPad if you don’t take your hands off it this instant!” she added, her voice fading away.

“Hey, Troy, did you hear us? Take Dannie home,” Jackie said over the commotion.

“Hearing you guys right now makes us want to stay here,” Dannie finally said. “Can’t you guys fight over something more adult-worthy?”

“Jackie, let’s go,” Dean said from somewhere. “We’ll be late!”

“Troy! Did you hear me?”

“Yes. And I will disobey. We’ll be home in time, but not anytime soon, okay?”

“Dannie!” Jackie cried out desperately.

“Jackie, come on!” Dean’s voice called out.

“I am walking toward you!” Jackie shouted at him. “Dannie, did you hear me? Just go home. We need your help.”

“Goodbye, Jackie,” Troy said dryly.

“She’s okay, right? Dannie, you’re doing fine, right? You’re not hurt?”

“I am very healthy, Jackie,” Dannie answered.

“Good. But you guys need to go home and-”

Troy ended the call before Jackie finished. He threw his phone on the dashboard and started my engine. “Now, let’s put that behind us and enjoy this day, shall we?”

“I have always wondered why I am surrounded by friends with different personalities,” Dannie said as Troy guided me out of my parking space.

“Birds that flock together may have the same feathers but not the same minds, Danica,” Troy explained. “Imagine walking inside a library and find all the books are the same. That is one, boring, library stay, I tell you.”

“Whatever library you’re in, it’s always boring for,” Dannie replied with a snort.

“It was a metaphor, okay?”

“I know, okay? I just found it ironic that you thought of a library. I cannot even think of a single moment you’ve been into one without sleeping.”

“Hey, I liked the library in college!”

“Yeah? You mean you liked the lounge where you, Lee and Miguel used to sleep in.”

“We were taking naps to refresh our minds.”

“Yeah, right. You almost did not make it to the graduation.”

“That’s because of that stupid teacher. Remember? His wife left him and everyone in class suffered.”

“And you always find something or someone to blame. That makes it easier, doesn’t it?”

“What? Putting the blame on someone else? Of course, if that person did something wrong. Why? Don’t tell me you’ve never blamed someone about something before.” He threw her a look which turned her look into something I didn’t like.

Really, guys? Come on, we just started our drive and the two of you are about to start fighting? How the hell did your conversation evolve to this? Can’t a car have a break here?!Not brake like brake, but break, okay? Can’t I have that?

Troy must have heard me because he sighed and fell silent. I knew Dannie baby was trying to keep her cool and she was doing so with so much effort. I could see her jaws clenching with her internal struggles.

Troy my boy, you’re not doing this right.

---

“Just one time, Danica. You’ll regret not doing it if you don’t do it now.”

Dannie swallowed, looking at the water below. She shook her head. “No. I don’t think I can dive on that, much more swing on that thing.” She pointed at the balete string hanging above the waterfall.

“Come on, it’s easy. And you’ve seen that child do that, right? It’s nothing compared to the cliff dive in Salagdoong.”

“And I am not doing that cliff dive as well. No, I just can’t. You do it. I’ll take your picture.”

“No, I’ll do it after you do it.”

She looked at him pleadingly. “Troy, please. I can’t.”

He braced his hands on his hips and contemplated. “Okay. Here’s the plan. I do it first. Then I’ll wait in the water to catch you.”

She was already shaking her head.

“Danica, you’ve never done something like this in your life. Do you really want to miss this one?”

“I can live with it.”

“But it will haunt you. Trust me, it will.”

She looked at him with desperation. And he looked at her pleadingly.

“Please, just once. I won’t force you to do the cliff diving. Just this one.”

She looked at the balete string again and swallowed. The two children had swung on that thing without any effort earlier. Maybe she could do it. She started to waver.

“Danica, come on.”

She returned her gaze to Troy. “But no cliff diving?”

His smile widened. “Promise. If you do the Tarzan Jump, you can pass the cliff dive.”

Dannie was still hesitant. She was not sure how she’d do it. Though the waterfall was just about five meters high, it was still a good distance fall. It’s better than the cliff, she thought.

“Just so you know, we are not leaving until you make a decision. Tarzan Jump or the cliff,” Troy uttered beside her.

“Fine! I’ll swing and jump!”

Troy jumped on his feet and ran to where the balete branch was hanging. “Okay, I’ll do it. Then I’ll jump in the water and wait for you there. Don’t worry, I’ll catch you, okay?” he shouted over his shoulder.

“Just get it over with!”

And he did just that without hesitation. He grabbed the end of the branch and took off from the boulder not far from the waterfall and jumped. He held on to the branch as it swung him forward. When he reached the middle of the water below the waterfall, just as when the branch started to swing back to where he came from, Troy let go and dove into the rushing water. Dannie held her breath for a moment, waiting for him to emerge out of the water. And when he did, she felt a great sense of relief.

“Come on! You can do it!” His arm was waving, urging her to go to the boulder. His white shirt was floating in the water, pulled up by the current. “The water’s not that deep. My feet are touching the ground!” he added, showing her he was telling the truth by holding his arms above his head. “Danica, come on! It’s this or the cliff!”

She squared her shoulders and started walking.

“That’s it. Just do it. I’ll catch you. Just make sure you let go at the right time.”

“Shut up, Brady!” she shouted at him as she took off her sandals and grabbed the moving balete branch.

“Come on!”

“How do I do this?”

“Hold on time and jump! Let go before you swing back!”

Her legs were shaking as she climbed the boulder. Her hands found the rubber wrapped around the balete branch, probably tied by someone for that very purpose. She hesitated a lot of times and she was thankful Troy was not being such a pain by keeping his mouth shut.

“You can do it!” he said when she decided it was now or never.

Dannie shouted over her lungs before she closed her eyes and jumped off the boulder. Her hands closed tighter around the branch as she felt her weight starting to drag her down. She could feel the wind rushing through her ears. She could hear the rush of the water below and Troy’s words of “LET GO NOW!”

And she did. Without seeing anything, she had let him guide her.

The next thing she knew, she splashed into the water and she was under. And the pressure pushed her back up.

She felt Troy’s strong hands catching her arms, guiding her to where there was less current. When she opened her eyes, she was beaming to the ears. The adrenaline rush was still running like crazy all over her body that she was almost shivering.

“See? It wasn’t that bad, was it?” Troy’s voice said above her.

Dannie lifted her head and realized that he was standing too close. His arm was around her and his other hand was holding her cheek. He wiped the water off her eyes and face in one downward motion, his smile blinding her. Then his hand went back to brush her wet hair off her face.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” he repeated, his voice lower than before.

Dannie gulped, nodding. Her smile started to fade as she lost herself in his eyes. She had let him guide her during the jump. She was blind to all the elements, yet she trusted his voice. It was just a simple thing yet it bothered her. But as his gaze grew gentler and his arm held her closer, she didn’t push away. She realized she was not afraid. The fear that should have been there whenever another man would get this close to her was not present. There was only the sense of wonder as she kept her eyes locked in his gaze.

And then his face drew nearer, down toward hers.

She knew she should have refracted away from him, from that moment, but she found herself waiting. And the wait was rewarded with his lips touching hers lightly, gently.

A burst of different reactions and feelings erupted within her. It was new to her. It was the strangest feeling. And it didn’t hurt like she had expected it. She could feel everything in that moment and it didn’t hurt.

For the first time in her life, she had let herself be kissed.

Chapter 15

A piece of the past…

“Stop it, Brady!” Dannie shouted at him, surprising everyone in the bus. They were on an out-of-town trip for a school activity and he could not leave her alone.

Jackie and George were already on their feet, reaching for his shirt as the bus rolled down the road back to Bacolod. “Stop it!” George shouted at him, finally managing to grab enough of his shirt to pull him toward her that half of his body was over the backseat. Lee and Miguel pulled him back by the back of his shirt.

“Ow, ow, ow…George! Let go!” he said, choking and grabbing George’s hand.

“We told you to stop pissing Dannie off!” Jackie said with frustration as she grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged. “Say you’ll never talk to her again!”

“What? No way-” the two girls pulled with their hands and he yelled, “Okay! Okay! Let go! Let go!”

“Let go of him, boys!” Miguel ordered.

“Just let him go!” Lee added, looking over his shoulder. “The teacher will see us!”

“I don’t care!” George shouted, pushing Troy back toward Lee and Miguel with full force. She then lifted one finger in front of him and said, “One more prank on Dannie and you’re dead. You’re going to be the first mummy to be displayed in the Negros Museum.”

“Gosh, George, calm down. It was just a freaking joke!” Troy whined, secretly throwing Dannie a glance. She was no longer paying attention to whatever was happening around her. Her eyes were fixed on the side of the road, looking at the passing sugarcane plantation. She was once again lost in her own world. “Fine. Whatever. Just forget about it if you don’t know how to have fun.” He returned to his seat, pulling Lee and Miguel with him.

PRESENT DAY

But that almost-wonderful feeling did not linger for long because when Troy started moving his lips against hers, deepening the kiss, a wall came crashing inside her mind and the memories from her past came crashing down on her that even the comfort of being in Troy’s arms dissipated into tiny particles. The coldness of the water came up her spine and she froze.

And the moment he felt it, he stopped and stepped back.

Dannie’s eyes were wide with disbelief and tears. His were wary.

“Danica, I’m-”

Dannie did her best to keep calm and push him as gently as she could. She stepped away and struggled with the current back to the riverbank. She could feel his presence behind her, guarding her steps, but he did not touch her. He knew her enough to try to touch her at that point. She scrambled back on dry land, found her slippers and hastily climbed the stairs back to the streets above. Troy lagged behind for a few seconds as he gathered his camera and other things.

“Danica!” he called after her a while later.

Her steps had slowed down due to exhaustion. The steps back up were not easy, but she had to go back to where Toto was. She had to get go back to the resort as fast as she could.

She wiped away tears with her hands, conscious not to touch her lips. She felt like she should not touch it for reasons she could not understand. A whimper escaped from her when she finally reached the top. The back of her hand wiped more tears as her feet carried her across the street to where Toto was parked, Troy not far behind her.

---

My ‘HOLY GAS MOMENT’ came when our tour was nearly over.

We went to the famous balete tree which had been living for centuries. Troy took a lot of pictures and Dannie enjoyed the free fish foot spa with the gentle heat of the sun kissing our skin. Well, my metallic skin. They had silently made up. I knew they silently fought. I had sensed it earlier. It was kind of fun, driving around and it was easy to forget the problems that we had left behind in Bacolod.

After the balete tree, they went to do the famous Tarzan Jump at one of the famous waterfalls there only I didn’t witness that because I was parked across the street. I couldn’t climb down the steps toward the place so it was only natural that the car be parked. I could only imagine what the two of them did there, but I didn’t have to have such a wild imagination to know.

But I was wrong. What happened there was the HOLY GAS MOMENT I was talking about. I didn’t know about it until they came back to me.

I was innocently waiting for them while watching the coconut vendor beside the street opening a coconut for himself when they got back, both dripping wet, and Dannie baby was crying. The two of them had always been Tom and Jerry so fighting and making up was part of their relationship. BUT Dannie rarely cried during those useless fights unless it was something serious. So what the hell happened?

Wait, wait, wait! You’re both wet! Come on, guys! My seats! My precious seats!

No one had ever listened to me but I had to try, right? My precious seats!

She ran the remaining steps toward me and Troy caught up with her and blocked her entrance to my door. He made a move to touch her but stopped when she took a step back, her body going statue-rigid.

Uh…guys, care to tell me what happened? Brady, why is my Dannie baby crying?

“I’m sorry, Danica. I’m really sorry,” Troy said in a low voice.

Dannie baby was shaking, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

“Danica, I’m sorry you feel terrible. But,” he swallowed as he stood his ground and continued, “but I’m not sorry about the kiss.”

My eyeballs went crazy and my exhaust almost went Majimbo-crazy. HOLY GAS, BRADY! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?! I’M GONNA KILL YOU TEN TIMES!!!

---

“Danica,” Troy called out to her but she did not stop walking. She had kept her silence during their drive back to the resort and she immediately hopped out of Toto the moment he turned off the engine.

Desperate to be alone, she walked to the direction of the farthest part of the resort. Troy did not follow her and she was at least thankful for that. She burst out in tears once more as she remembered what she had let happen back in that waterfall. It should not have happened. She should not have let it happen.

Dannie was not angry at Troy. She was angrier at herself. He was driven with his own emotions and his feelings for her. He had always been motivated by his passion for things. The one who should have had the presence of mind was her.

This trip is a bad idea from the very start, she thought, wiping away tears. She faced the sea and the looked at the horizon. The sun was starting to set and her tears were blurring her vision of the sky’s gradation.

As she sat on the sand, looking out into nothing, Dannie tried to calm herself. Her body’s reaction earlier should have proven that she was not capable of loving Troy or any other men the way she may have wanted to. The kiss might have started good, but she was not able to control the memories from creeping in and shatter that moment.

She shook her head. That kiss should not have happened in the first place. It was a great betrayal to her vows. The feeling of guilt washed over her once more and she sobbed, burying her face in her arms as she hugged her legs closer to her chests. Her shirt was still damp and she wanted to go back to their room and change. But Troy was there. How could she face him? What should she say?

She was a whirlwind of different emotions. The thought that her friendship with Troy had finally met its doom was not helping either. But then, maybe this was meant to be. Maybe it would be easier for the both of them to deal with. She was familiar with pain. She could deal with that.

But what about Troy? Would it be easier for him if he just thought she felt indifferent about the kiss? She was guilty about it, but it was not close to indifference.

Why couldn’t she be like any normal girls? Why couldn’t she just know her own mind and heart? Why did everything have to be complicated?

The sudden urge to go drive back to Bacolod and enter the convent hit her. She’d be safe there. There would be rules. There would be routines to help her with her daily life. There won’t be any Troy Brady to confuse her and keep her head spinning and her heart racing. There would be peace.

---

I was angry as hell. I trusted that bastard and he did not only disappoint me, he betrayed me!

I should have stayed on my initial impression of him: he was nothing but a player who only went for what he wanted without care of the consequences!

And now he was walking toward me looking all worried. He should be! Because I was about ready to bring abomination upon him and his sorry Fil-Am ass! He would be Brady to me again. We could never be on a first-name-basis kind of relationship ever again! I swore that in the name of all Volkswagen who came upon this world!

Don’t you even dare touch me, Brady! I warned as he walked closer, phone in hand. Don’t touch me!!! I shouted when he leaned against my hood as he dialed a number.

“Lee, I have a problem,” he uttered the moment his friend picked up the call. “Yes, it’s about Danica. I think I made a very terrible mistake.” He pushed away from me and started pacing. “I think she hates me now. I am so stupid!”

Did you just figure that out?!

“I kissed her. I kissed her and scared her away.” I could hear Lee’s cry from the other line and I thought I heard the very word I wanted to shout at Brady: MORON! “I know! But I…it just happened, okay? I was so happy and so in that moment that I…I don’t know what got into me,” he finished with exasperation. “What do you think I should do?” He listened to Lee’s words and he started to shake his head. “I am not telling the boys what I did! Are you crazy? Do you want me dead?” Lee said more and Brady stopped pacing. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes, probably fighting off a headache. He deserved more than a headache, the moron! “Yeah, I think that’s what I should do. I don’t want her to think the worst of me.”

You deserve it if she does, you twit!

“Yeah, I’ll do it.”

---

Dannie finally composed herself and braved the unavoidable. She had to go back to their room and face Troy.

The prayer she had silently said earlier during her walk back must have been heard because Troy was already waiting for her at the balcony. He slowly stood up and met her ascent. Their eyes met and he said, “I think it’s best if we go home.”

Dannie was quite startled that he suggested it. Though she had prayed for it, she did not expect him to initiate it. He did not look sad or remorseful. Sure, he looked worried. But he was not happy either. And that brought a pang in her chest. She was the main reason for the Troy Brady standing before her. This was not him. She wished she could tell him that. She wished she could say he had to do his best to move on and live his life like he used to years before-be the Troy Brady she once knew.

But they were both dealing with things neither of them wanted to discuss at that moment so she just nodded and walked inside their room. She stopped before closing the door. “What time are we leaving?” she asked.

“The first trip out of the island.”

She nodded and closed the door, leaving him to stand alone in the balcony. She had to clean herself up and then maybe the memories of her past would be washed away as well.

---

The next morning, I was only happy to leave the island. I wanted to go back to Bacolod as fast we could. But before that could happen, I had to endure Brady’s feet on my pedals and his hands on my steering wheel. I had to bear his unbelievable weight on my seats. I had to tolerate his very smell, his very shadow. I was in hell-or hell was in me, whichever way it was.

The trip back to Larena was very quiet. Brady’s usual comic relief whenever things went awkward was gone. There was just silence. Dannie was lost in her own world. Brady was unbelievably too focused on driving me insane down the road.

I said goodbye to the beautiful island with a promise that the next time I came back, I’d be having the best time of my life without the drama and other stupid things humans tend to love to do.

I didn’t know who started talking because I was not really paying attention as I was trying to revert into my own engine world where there were no human complications. Before I knew it, Troy was talking to Dannie about why the trip was a mistake from the very beginning.

“I was hoping it would have at least given me the chance I wanted but I blew it all up. I am sorry for that.”

“But you’re not sorry you kissed me.”

Okay, I had to admit that it took my engines to a complete halt. Well, I was on halt because I was on the barge and my engines were off. Neither of them got off to go up the deck with the other passengers. And Brady was also shocked.

Dannie baby, why do you have to bring that up? It makes me sick to my engines! I want to vomit gas right now! If only my wipers could erase the picture out of my metallic brains…

“Yes, I’m not,” Brady said with a sigh. He then turned his head to look at her as she stared straight through my windshield (trust me, there was no good sight there), “Because that might just be the very last kiss I’d get to share with you 100%. It was one of the very few moments I got to relish 100%. No cameras to distract me or capture it. It’s all stored in organic memory.” He tapped his temple with his finger as he said it.

Dannie baby did not say a word for quite a while and when she did, her words struck me. “I feel guilty, Troy. I don’t think I should be, but I am terribly guilty.” Her voice started to break again and my engines almost crumbled down with her. Her lips shook as she wiped the tears off her face, her head pointing straight forward. I knew Brady wanted to reach out for her but he was keeping his distance. Yeah, keep those hands to yourself, Brady! “I have decided to live my life for the Lord and the moment I got out of the convent, I kissed a man. How could I live up to the standards set for me?”

Brady closed his eyes and leaned back against my seat. He took a lungful of air and slowly let it out. “So I am just the other guy after all,” he quietly said. Dannie sniffed and fought back a whimper. I hated to admit it, because I hated Brady at that moment, but I wanted to cry with them too. The pain they both felt was just immensely excruciating for me to witness.

Why do humans have to feel a lot of complicated feelings? Why do you live your lives with sets of standards that cannot justify a lot of things such as your happiness? Why does happiness have to be that difficult to achieve? I asked my questions aloud. As someone who had been the prime witness of the boys’ lives, I wanted to give them a piece of my metallic, awesome mind.

I wanted to tell them that the only things that had been keeping them away from their dreams and their happiness were their very own selves and how they thought of those around them. Jackie had almost lost Dean because of her own fears and lies. She thought less of Dean, judging what he would do before he even found out the truth of what she had done. Georgie was too consumed by her own freedom and prejudice toward her own family that she nearly let go of the man capable of loving her. She may come out brave, but she was afraid and weak inside that it almost robbed her of the chance of happiness. And now here was Dannie. Too consumed by her past, by what she thought was right and wrong. There was one thing she didn’t have that her two other friends had though. Dannie baby never experienced a normal childhood, never had support from what you would call a family member apart from her sickly sister, Tessa. She had it rough and she had it hard. Who could blame her twisted and confusing thoughts right now? But she had to see that what she had now was not what she had years ago. What she had now could be a foundation of the kind of happiness she truly deserved. And the one person who could show her that blew it all freaking away by a kiss!

Okay, I rambled on for a bit there. I was pissed, okay? I had to deal with my own vehicular thoughts and these humans’ overly thought lives. Because, really, from a vehicle’s point of view, humans could just live their lives the way we did. Turn on engine; roll fast and slow; run in reverse, forward or make turns; get lost; be controlled or lose control; reach the destination; and ultimately come into terms with their demise. I don’t know about humans, but for a car like me, the destination is as important as the journey, not just the destination or not just the journey-it had to be both. They just needed to know how to navigate and that’s the problem with most of them. Their navigation relies on a lot of complicated and unimportant things as societal standards and judgment. My engine could only sigh in frustration. If I could write a book about my thoughts, I would. I should have been a machine in a printing press or something. That way, I’d give all humans the scolding they deserved.

Emotions are great factors of being humans, I knew that. But so was logic and reason, dude! At that moment, I didn’t know if Dannie baby had logic or reason. She was just a big emotional wreck.

---

By the time we reached Dumaguete, it was scorching hot. It was the middle of the day and I needed a break. Brady was in no mood to do more stopovers though. Lunch was necessary though so they had to grab one at a local restaurant across the Boulevard. They settled outdoor, their table right beside a couple who seemed to have enjoyed their vacation somewhere as evidenced by their sun-kissed skin. The lady had on a wide-brim hat with the same color as me. She had on a dress and she looked happy as her partner talked about something. I wondered then how they were a polar opposite to my two companions just sitting a few feet away from them.

Brady and Dannie were not talking and if they did, it was just something about more food or drinks. She was busy looking blankly ahead as she chewed on her food; he was busy with his tablet.

When they were ready to go, I was already hot. Like really hot. Not the normal kind.

I knew then that we’d be in trouble. I already felt the symptoms even before Brady tried to start my engine.

It didn’t even make a single groan.

Oh holy Volks, I feel so hot. I need rest. Take me to my kind of hospital!

“What’s wrong?” Dannie baby asked.

Brady was frowning down at my keys. He turned it again but my metallic body was not making any reaction. “Toto won’t start.”

No, Toto is sick, Brady! I need immediate mechanical attention!

Chapter 16

A piece of the past…

“Because I am walking the two of you home doesn’t mean anything at all,” Troy said to Jackie while stealing a glance toward Danica who was walking silently beside her friend, her head bent.

“You’ve been walking us home for like two weeks now,” Jackie pointed out. She eyed him suspiciously and said, “Have you done something?”

He scoffed and looked at her incredulously. “Whatever crazy idea you have, that’s not it.”

“You’ve probably had a deal with some gang and placed us as bets,” Jackie continued with her remarkably wild imagination, gesturing with her hands in the air. “George is always safe because their driver picks her up. So that leaves me and Dannie here.” She gasped and whipped her head toward him. “Are we in danger? Is that why you’re making sure we get home safe? That’s it, isn’t it? Who are they, Troy? Tell me and we’ll go to the police right now!”

He stopped in his track and looked at Jackie with wonder, shaking his head. “Wow. Your imagination is really out of control.” He started walking again and as he caught up, he squeezed between them and wound his arms over the two girls. He instantly noticed the difference in their reactions. Jackie did nothing at first but eventually slapped his arm off her shoulders while Danica literally froze. He took his arm away from her and pretended nothing happened. “Anyway, I am just doing this because I do care for my lady friends.”

“Don’t your parents look for you?” Jackie asked.

“They know what I am doing and they are proud of it,” he retorted, glancing at Danica. She looked pale, but she was trying to act normal—if deliberately being a mute was normal.

“This is me,” Jackie said later as they passed by her house.

He continued to follow Danica after waving goodbye to Jackie, his hands deep in his pockets.

“You don’t have to do this,” Danica said in a low voice.

“Come on, Danica, you’ve been telling me that for two weeks now. I just want to do this as part of my practice to becoming a real gentleman.”

She scoffed, but he saw a smile form on her lips.

“I’ll get going then,” he said thirty minutes later. They had reached the block that led to her neighborhood and she had never wanted him to take her outside her home. He never insisted.

“Troy,” Danica called when he was a few meters away. He stopped and eagerly turned. “Thanks,” she said with a small smile and disappeared into the small alleyway.

Troy beamed to his ears and leisurely walked his way to the jeepney terminal nearby. His parents would freak out if they found out where he’d usually go after school, but he didn’t care. For the first time in the two weeks that he had been taking her home, Danica had said ‘thank you’.

PRESENT DAY

Dannie baby climbed off me after Brady tried countless of times to start me up. She was squinting against the glare of the sun while her hands were on her hips as she gave me a look of scrutiny.

Baby, don’t look at me like that. It’s embarrassing! I should be capable of going home. We should go home ASAP but why the hell are we stuck here of all time?

It was no question that this time, ALL of us wanted to go home. Brady was no longer dragging the time. He was not even suggesting we stay the day. As a matter of fact, he was still trying to turn my engine on with the key. Dude, that thing is gonna break if you don’t stop. I’m telling you, bring me to a mechanic now!

“Problem?” the man from the other table earlier had stood up from his chair and approached us. His lady companion was looking at us from her chair, her wide brim hat shadowing her face.

Brady stuck his head out my window and said to the guy, “It won’t start.”

“Need any help?” the man offered.

“Yes,” Brady immediately replied, opening my door and squeezed out. “This old car needs a lot of help and I am not a mechanic so I am willing to get whatever help we can get.”

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? OLD?! HEY, I KNOW I AM OLD, BUT I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT I AM, YOU FOOL!

As I screamed the remaining of my air out my exhaust, Brady had turned to Dannie and followed her with his gaze. She was walking toward the guy with a shy smile.

“We can surely find a place to help us. You don’t have to bother—”

“No, it’s okay,” said the guy with a big grin.

Don’t you dare say no, Danica! I am feeling so hot right now I might die. This is one of the rare moments when I am literally feeling hot—not the other kind of hot because I am that too.

“Thanks, man,” Brady said to the guy. “I have not encountered this problem before. I should have brought Tata with me,” he added to Dannie baby.

WHAT?! Oh, you are not so gonna get inside me ever again the moment I roll your asses back in Bacolod! Never!

Dannie just frowned at him and dismissed his remark about Tata. Brady turned to the man and held out his hand. “Troy.”

“Erik,” the man said, taking Brady’s hand.

“And this is Danica,” the ugly Filipino-American I’ve been rooting for until yesterday said.

“Hi,” Dannie said, taking the man’s hand.

“I’m with my wife,” he said, he pointed over his shoulder with his thumb at the lady sitting in her chair a few meters away.

Dannie eyed the guy with recognition. “I think I saw you guys before we left for Siquijor. You guys also came from Dinagsa Festival?”

Erik chuckled with mirth. “Yeah. Long story, though. I kidnapped her so we can get away for a while. So,” he said, turning back to Brady, “let’s get started?”

“Yeah. And if we can’t make this thing start in a few minutes, I’ll let you go and find professional help.”

I’d rather you look for it now, Brady! DON’T TOUCH ME! I screamed when he opened my hood.

“Danica, you can sit by my wife as we work on this,” Erik said before he joined Brady under my hood.

When Dannie did not move, Troy looked over his shoulder at her and seriously said, “Danica, it’s hot out here. Go sit with Erik’s wife while we work on this.”

Dannie baby nodded and walked to the lady sitting in the shade.

---

The lady was already smiling up at her as she approached.

“Hi, I’m Steph, short for Stephanie,” the lady with Chinese eyes said. She and her husband were speaking in Hiligaynon and Dannie figured they were also from Bacolod.

“Hi, I’m Danica. I’m sorry about—”

“Don’t worry about it. My husband likes to help people and it’s not like we’re in such a hurry,” Steph cut in. “Sit down before you grow another limb.”

She took the seat on Steph’s right and looked over to where Erik and Troy were working on Toto.

“Isn’t he cool?” Steph asked with astonishment in her voice.

Dannie frowned. “Who?”

Steph rolled her eyes. “Of course, you must have thought about your man over there. I was talking about my husband.”

“Troy’s not my man. He’s…he’s a friend,” she explained.

Steph looked at her with doubt. “Well, you better hurry before someone snatches him out of your grasps.”

She shook her head. There was no point telling her about the convent or her complicated relationship with Troy.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Steph asked, leaning over conspiratorially.

Dannie nodded and leaned closer to the lady.

“My husband is no expert on mechanical stuff,” Steph whispered.

“Then—”

“Well, that’s just my opinion,” Steph cut in, leaning back against her chair. “His truck—I call it Meanie with the E and A Meanie—always breaks down on us and he can’t seem to fix it. It always chooses the best moment to down. Erik’s an engineer but I doubt he knows how to fix a vehicle.”

“Then—”

“But I think he can work with yours. Meanie is just mean—thus the name—so maybe it’s just her or something. But I hope your car gets better though.” Steph was eyeing her with a knowing look.

Dannie just smiled.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

“Yeah.”

“Both of you seems to have been on a beach. Where?”

“Siquijor.”

“Oh, I love that place. How was your stay?”

She forced a smile on her face. “It was a very beautiful place.”

The lady tilted her wide brim hat upward to take a good look at her. “So your trip was a total failure.” She sighed and took a sip from her juice. “I know a lot about it, trust me. Been to a lot of crazy stuff one summer with Erik. Long story, though.”

Troy looked over where they were sitting and for a moment Dannie expected him to break into one of his usual stupid grins and wave at them like a child, but he did not. He just checked if she was there and went back to work.

“He likes you, doesn’t he?” Steph asked.

“We’re just friends, really,” she answered.

“I know it’s not my business, but you know…it’s just me being me and I really am dying to know the story between the two of you. I’ve seen you both the night we got here. You were eating a table away from us.”

“You remember that too?”

“Yes, of course. I have an eye for details.” Steph took another sip from her drink and looked at Dannie, her eyes narrowing by the second. “He’s in love with you and you’re in love with him but you are not together because of some stupid shit.”

Dannie’s eyes widened at the lady’s tactlessness. “No, we’re just friends and we just went on a trip to—”

“Well, if that’s what you want to believe, I’m fine with that.”

A long silence followed and Steph shifted in her seat.

“Look, I’m sorry. My imagination was running ahead of me. I’m sure you both have your own stories to tell and I should not have prodded you. I’m sorry.”

She smiled. “That’s okay. There’s nothing much to tell, really. We’re just friends.”

“You know, I met my husband during my grandmother’s wake.”

“You did?”

Steph nodded, the reminiscing smile on her face visible. “Oh how I hated him. I hated every word he said. I am a very judgmental person, you know. And the moment I laid eyes on him, I judged him. And I have this stupid pride, you know. I believed I was some big shot city girl from Makati who just came to a province who didn’t have anything I needed. But then I just found myself entangled in a crazy adventure because of my grandmother and her lost love.” She took a deep breath and sighed with a smile. “And now here I am with a husband and the cutest little boy at home.”

“So you stayed?”

Steph shook her head. “No. I went back, actually. I was brokenhearted too. Erik and I did not say the things we wanted to say at the right time and I thought he didn’t want me and he thought I was not interested. In short, I came home to Makati and found myself lost. Like…literally lost. I didn’t enjoy the same things I enjoyed in the past. But eventually, things came into place and so now I’m here.”

Dannie just watched the lady’s face turn into something filled with more wonder and she wondered if she’d ever get to feel that same feeling.

“Going back to Makati was the safest option for me. It was the only place of comfort I knew. It was familiar and I thought I would be able to deal with it until I got back to my senses. I never saw myself living in this province. I thought it to be uncomfortable and inconvenient, you know. But I was wrong. I decided to go back because it’s the uncomfortable and inconvenient I learned to love and enjoy. You know that feeling?”

Honestly, she didn’t. She didn’t know what it meant to enjoy the very things you wanted to avoid. She was about to say something when her phone suddenly rang. It was Jackie. “I’m sorry, I have to get this.”

“Sure,” Steph said with a smile.

“Hey,” she said after she answered the call.

“You really need to go home.”

“We are going home but Toto sort of just gave in. We’re having it fixed now,” she explained.

“Do you need help?”

“No, we’re good. Dumaguete is not an isolated island, Jackie. We can get by.”

“Then you have to make sure you can come back by tomorrow. The catering service has a conflict.”

She frowned. “You mean Rock?”

“Yeah. Something to do with the schedule. George is about ready to make a scene earlier, good thing I was able to stop her. You really need to come back. We’re cramming here. There are a lot of details to go through. And where the hell is Troy? The prenuptial needs to be attended to! It should have been done weeks ago!”

“He’s busy at the moment. Look, I’ll call Rock again and fix the schedule, okay?”

“Okay. But get here. We really need you, Dannie.”

“Okay.”

“And be safe.”

“Yeah, you too.”

When she placed her phone on the table, Steph was frowning at her. “You know Rock? I mean, the catering service Rocky Food?”

Dannie smiled. “Yes.”

Steph gasped dramatically. “What a small world! She’s Erik’s best friend! And she’s the girl who—never mind. It was history. Anyway, I couldn’t help but hear earlier…do you have a problem with the catering?”

“It’s my friend’s wedding in a week but they said there’s a problem with Rock’s schedule or something.”

“Okay, why don’t you let me handle that one? That girl has a lot of debt to pay me, you know. She’s been missing a lot of my parties.”

“No, it’s not necessary—”

“I insist. I don’t have a lot to do while those two men are fixing your car. So let me do something for a while like piss a friend off, okay?”

Dannie chuckled. “Okay.”

What happened after that was like any normal encounter you’d get from a stranger who turned out to have a lot of things in common with you. Apart from knowing the caterer to the wedding, Dannie discovered that Steph had been to a lot of places around Negros. Their talk ranged from that one simple trigger of a common ground to something more personal, though she asked most of the question and Steph was only happy to tell her story. She told Dannie about her grandmother and how she traveled around Negros to get to know the woman, how she fell in love with her husband and the things she experienced during her short stay here before returning to her busy life in Manila.

When her tale was over, she smiled at Dannie with a mixture of sadness and happiness in her eyes. “You know, as I think of all the things I experienced during that time, I can still feel the pain and the heartache I felt.”

“How so? Seeing you now, and from what you’ve told me, you are living your happy ending,” Dannie told her.

Steph shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s not like I am sad, you know. It’s just that the pain I felt that time is so real that I can still fill it now. I don’t know, maybe we just have this tendency to hang on to the pain of the past. I am happy where I am right now. I have an awesome husband who takes me all of me without question, a wonderful son who’s growing up so fast, a career of my own, wonderful friends and so much more. In short, I have this fulfilling life so why do I still feel the pain and the heartache? You know what I mean? Or maybe it’s just me and my sentimental nature. I don’t know. Maybe it is the same as just relieving the good times, you know. You feel happy. And then you remember the days you spent crying and longing for things that you thought would never turn right for you. And though they did turn out right for me, the pain I felt then is still there.”

“Don’t you fear that they are going to come back to you in the future?”

Steph looked at her incredulously. “What? Of course not!” When Dannie frowned with confusion, Steph squared her shoulders and said, “Why the hell would I let the pain haunt me to my death? I am happy right now and the pain, though still there, is just…well, it’s just there, locked up somewhere safe, reminding me of the bad times I’ve managed to survive. It’s just the matter of how you handle its presence, you know. Having the people you love around you, in my case that’s my husband and my kid, makes sure that the pain is locked in the darkest part of your soul or heart or whatever. Who would want to live their lives mourning over their pain, right? I know I wouldn’t. It’s just freaking history—and a history not worth a student’s time in the future.” Steph looked over to where Troy and Erik were before turning her attention back to her. “So, what about you? What’s your story?”

Dannie shook her head. “Nothing as great as yours.”

“Don’t patronize me. You know you have this air around you, right? A mysterious one and I have been pulled in from the moment you sat on that chair.”

She chuckled and shrugged. “There’s really nothing much to tell.”

Steph did not push and just nodded her head. “You know pain better than I do. I just know it. I know that those who know more about something are the ones who are quiet.” She gave a wink as she finished her sentence.

Before Dannie could say something, Steph was already on her feet. “They’re done. Wanna join them and find out if my husband has gotten lucky or not?”

Dannie followed her to join Troy and Erik as they closed Toto’s hood.

“I’m just so eager to go home right now,” Steph said to her before they reached the two men.

Dannie, on the other hand, wasn’t sure where home was.

Chapter 17

A piece of the past…

Tessa had seen Troy just once.

He had insisted on taking her right outside her home and she only said yes because her mother was not around and the drunkards were once again eyeing her with glassy eyes.

“He’s cute,” Tessa said with a giggle as she leaned away from the window. She must have been watching Troy as he walked away after Dannie entered their house.

“Don’t tell me my little sister now knows how to have crushes,” she teased, putting her bag down the floor beside their bed.

Tessa shrugged. “I just said he’s cute.”

“Okay, whatever you say.” She looked around and asked, “Where’s ’Ma?”

“Prison,” Tessa answered, her face flat. “And somewhere after that. She didn’t really say.”

Dannie sighed. Her mother had been blaming her for months, telling her it was her fault their father was in prison. “I’ll make dinner,” she told Tessa, wishing at the back of her mind that their mother would take her time.

PRESENT DAY

“Ga, I’m impressed. You actually fixed it,” the lady with the wide brim hat said, resting her forearm over her husband’s shoulder.

The four of them were eyeing me with a look of relief and pity in their eyes. Hey, I am not six feet under the ground, you know.

“Thanks, man” Brady said to Erik once again, shaking the guy’s hand. “Let me buy you a drink.”

Erik smiled and nodded. “One bottle before we part?”

“That’s great!” the wife said, jumping to her feet with excitement. “You know, Ga, they know Rock.”

Erik’s eyebrows raised with wonder. He smiled at Dannie baby and asked, “Really?”

Dannie just nodded her head and turned to Brady. “Shouldn’t we be heading home?”

“Come on, just one bottle, Dannie,” Steph urged, linking her arm through Dannie’s. “Come on. Why don’t we call Rock while we’re chilling out?”

And with that, Dannie baby was dragged away from me once more.

Erik followed behind them as Brady tapped my hood and said, “Be good, Toto. We still have to go home.”

His phone rang as he was leaving me and he fell behind the group to answer the call. When he saw who it was, he stopped and returned to my side. My metallic ears were ready for some action.

“Jackie,” he answered with a frown.

“Where are you guys now?”

“Toto is fixed, relax. We’ll be heading home in a few hours.”

“Why in a few hours?” Jackie’s voice asked.

Brady lifted his phone away from his ear because of the volume of her voice. “Gosh, Jackie. I don’t even need to put you on speaker. Relax, okay? We’re just hanging out with a couple who helped us fix your car, okay? And plus, they know Rock.”

“They do?!”

The phone was now in front of Brady. He definitely didn’t need the speaker. “Yes, they do. I think the wife is going to help us contact Rock.”

“Yes! There’s a problem with the schedule! Tell them the wedding reception is not gonna move itself! We already agreed on a schedule and they suddenly—”

“Yes, yes, okay!”

A long silence followed and Brady was just about to hang up when Jackie’s voice said something, this time it was low and inaudible for me. “What?” Brady asked, taking the phone back to his ears. His face turned serious in a matter of seconds. “Jackie, I’m not trying to do anything anymore.”

Okay, this is serious stuff, right?

Brady listened for a long time, his head bent. “Yeah, I know. I get it now, okay? I just thought I needed the shot. But I’m taking her home right away. No more detours, I promise. Yes, I am sure.” All of a sudden, my metallic heart went to Brady at that moment. He looked like he was squinting not from the heat of the sun but because he was fighting back tears. “Yes, Jackie, I decided to give up. I will not be giving her a hard time anymore. I will not try to confuse her or anything. I’ll be a good guy and deliver her right into your doorsteps. Satisfied?” Jackie was talking again and Brady nodded his head twice. “And Jackie,” he said before he hung up, “I don’t want to have the same serious conversation when I get back. Can you do that? I don’t want you guys to sit me down and talk to me like I am a child. Just…” he looked over his shoulder to where Dannie baby, Stephanie and Erik were, and continued, “just let me deal with this on my own like I did last year.”

I was weeping gas for the guy. He was suffering as much as Dannie baby was. And I got angry at him for kissing her. But who was I to judge his actions? He was a man in love with a woman who didn’t even know what to do with her heart.

Okay, you are back to being Troy, man. I totally understand you now and I am sorry if I have been such a pain even if you didn’t know about it. I feel your pain, dude. I totally feel it.

I watched him walk the heavy steps toward the woman he wanted to be with. If it was possible for me to do some sort of magic, it would be to heal Dannie baby’s wounds. It might just make things better for her and for this guy.

I hate feeling this way. I just hate it. So much drama!

---

Dannie was not sure how to feel now that they could finally go home.

She kept looking at Troy as he talked with Erik over a bottle of beer, assessing his mood. She didn’t want him to feel like it was his fault that they had to go home or that she was feeling guilty for what happened.

It was just a kiss! She should forget about it and move on.

But why was she bothered about it? Why couldn’t she stop thinking about it?

While the overwhelming and new feeling she felt at the memory of that kiss was somehow pleasant, a lot of other things came along with it. The memories of the past and the guilt she felt for dishonoring the vows she committed to take.

As Steph continued to talk to her about her son and how he was becoming more like his father, Dannie wondered about what the fortuneteller had said. She was to be a mother. Dannie wondered how it would feel—how it would feel to mother a child that would serve as an empty vessel of the things you could give. Would she be able to give as much love as Steph could if she ever had a child? Or would she end up like her mother?

She mentally shook her head. Being a mother was out of her plans. She was supposed to be living the rest of her life serving God.

“Rock just replied!” Steph excitedly exclaimed, causing Troy and Erik to stop their conversation and look at her.

“What did she say?” Troy asked. Dannie noticed that he had not made any eye contact with her—even glance at her—since they sat down.

Steph was reading the message with narrowed eyes. “Well, she said she’ll make adjustments on her schedule for your friend’s wedding. Says it is all her fault anyway so she’ll find a way to make it to the reception.”

Dannie sighed with relief. Now, Jackie could relax.

“Does that call for another round?” Erik asked Troy with a smile.

Steph looked at her husband pointedly. “I thought you said just one bottle?”

Troy laughed. “And when has it ever been just one bottle?”

Erik laughed and called for the waiter.

“Troy, we’re still going home, right?” Dannie asked.

Troy gave her a quick glance and nodded. “Of course, Danica.”

“You can’t drive after this,” she added.

“Of course. You’ll drive,” he said with a smile that did not reach his eyes.

“And I’m driving, too,” Steph said to her husband.

The two men just nodded as two more bottles of beer was delivered to their table.

About an hour later, Dannie and Steph were no longer smiling. They were both looking at Erik and Troy with concern as the two men kept talking, laughing and drinking. After finding a common denominator, which was farming, the two men never ceased exchanging serious and funny stories of their experiences in their field.

“You two have drank enough,” Steph told them, her eyes narrowing toward her husband.

Troy’s eyes were getting heavier and Dannie finally got the courage to say something. “Troy, we better go.” She glanced at Steph who had already stood up to stand beside her smiling husband.

“Give me the keys,” Steph ordered and searched for them herself inside his jeans pockets when Erik didn’t move. “We have to go home now. Your son has been looking for us.”

“No, he’s not. He’s with his grandparents. He’s getting spoiled to the point he’d not even want to go back home with us,” Erik uttered with a laugh.

“We should meet up in Bacolod,” Troy told him, standing up on his own with a stupid grin. “I’ll pay. It’s the least I can do for your help.” He reached for his pocket and took out his wallet. He opened it and frowned.

“What?” Dannie asked him.

He looked down at her and said, “I think I’m drunk,” handing his wallet toward her.

She sighed and rolled her eyes at Steph who was already laughing. She took out some cash from his wallet and waived for the waiter. As she was closing it, she saw an old photo she recognized. Before she could inspect it further, Troy had grabbed the wallet from her saying, “Nosy, nosy, Danica.”

“Troy—”

“Okay, you drive,” he said, placing Toto’s key on the table.

“You still have that—”

“Ah! My head hurts. I think it’s best we go home.” He turned to Erik and Steph and took their hands in both of his and said, “Thank you so much. For everything.”

“No problem. See you around Bacolod?” Steph asked with a smile, her arm around her husband’s shoulders.

“Of course. We have your numbers,” Troy answered with a salute. “Danica?”

Dannie was already standing up and she smiled at Steph and Erik. “Thank you for your help. I hope to see you around Bacolod soon.”

Steph unwound her arm from her husband and walked toward Dannie and gave her a lingering hug. “Just so you know, it is better to tell someone you love them before it’s too late.” Dannie was stunned by the lady’s words that she was left speechless. Steph laughed at her expression as she stepped back. “Trust me. Someone had said the same thing to me and I did not listen. It was the biggest mistake I made.” Steph gave her a wink and walked back to Erik. “Let’s go, husband. I’ll do the driving.”

---

The four of them said their goodbyes for almost an hour. Seriously, it took them that long. The two guys must have had a lot of things to talk about because each word that came out of their mouths turned out to be another topic.

Troy—yes, I was back to calling him Troy because I finally got to cool off my steam—noticed Dannie baby looking uncomfortable and he finally shook Erik’s hand for the nth and last time. I was so curious why Dannie baby was looking like she was answering an unfamiliar True or False question.

It must be that lady, Steph! I am sure of it!

She gave Dannie baby one last hug and a meaningful gaze before walking off with her husband toward their truck she named Meanie who I happened to be friends with now. And to give the truck some credit, she was not mean. She was just playful, she said.

As to Dannie baby and Troy, Dannie was back behind my wheels and she drove us out of Dumaguete in safe speed. Troy was leaning his head against my passenger seat, his eyes closed.

“They’re such a good couple,” he said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, they didn’t have to help us but they did.”

“No, I mean they looked good together. A happy couple.”

Oh gas…please, Troy my boy…don’t start with this. Let’s just go home first.

Dannie baby chose to keep her silence, which was a good decision. But Troy was drunk that the words just rolled out his mouth without passing through the filters of his mind.

“We could be like them, you know. Or so much more. I can make that happen.” At his words, Dannie baby’s hands tightened around my steering wheel, the same went with her lips. Troy chuckled in that drunken way of his, his eyes still closed. He was probably imagining what he just said. “I can really see that happen. Too bad you can’t though,” he said, opening one eye to steal a quick glance at her face.

Her eyes were focused on the road—too focused, as a matter of fact. Her jaw tightened and her foot pushed a bit further down my gas pedal. Hey, hey, Dannie, careful! Not the pedal! Not the pedal!

Troy turned his head toward her and looked at her with both eyes open and he sighed. He rolled his head back and closed his eyes, taking a very deep breath. He let it go and a bitter smile followed suit. “You really are my karma.”

Dannie baby kept mum. Good, Dannie. Don’t say anything. We’re driving. We can’t have another accident, baby.

“Can you ask God something for me?” Troy asked after a long silence. My engine started to panic again. Why couldn’t he just shut the hell up?!

“What?” Dannie asked.

“Ask Him if He can make it go away. All of it. I just want to go back to just seeing you as a friend.”

“You’re drunk, Troy. You should just sleep it off.”

“Okay, I guess that is too much to ask then, huh?” He rolled his head and opened his eyes to take a look at her again. “Then just ask Him to really take good care of you. If I can’t do that, then I am not willing to pass you on to someone else who is not capable.”

Dannie baby frowned. “I don’t need to be taken care of.”

“Damn right, you do!” Troy’s voice boomed inside me.

What the hell, man! Keep it low!

Dannie baby was wise to slow me down. She threw Troy a quick glance before returning her gaze on the road. “Don’t shout.”

“I can shout all I want!” Troy said once more, rolling down my window. He stuck his head out and shouted at the top of his lungs. I felt the pain and love as he did so. The veins in his neck engorged as he shouted one more time. And then he started to throw up.

What the—OH MY GAS! TROY BRADY! Your vomit’s showering my body! Stop that! Dannie, stop! STOP! HIT THE BREAK OR I SWEAR I’LL DRIVE MYSELF HOME ALONE!

Dannie baby just did that. She hastily parked me at the side of the road as Troy continued to empty his stomach contents, spattering my awesome body.

I DEMAND A COMPLETE OVERHAUL AFTER THIS!

“Troy, are you okay?” Dannie said, reaching out to pat his back. He held up one hand and she immediately took her hand away. Half his body was almost out my window. He gagged some more and when there was nothing left, he sniffed and coughed. Finally, he had the decency open my door and jump out. He walked away and bent down to excrete more juices, his hands on his knees.

Dannie baby followed behind him, her steps careful. She stood beside him with concern.

Man…it’s already getting dark. We better hurry! Oh gas…I hate this smell. I hate it!

“I’m fine,” Troy finally said, straightening to full height.

“No, you’re not.”

Troy shrugged. “Of course, I am not fine, Danica,” he snapped at her. And when he realized he did, his expression softened and he reached out to take her hand. She let him hold it for a while, her head bent. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. You’re right. I’m drunk.”

But Dannie baby was crying now and I figured we’d be late for home again. Drama was on its way.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” Troy said, pulling her by the hand and gently circling her body with in his arms. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

He leaned his head away from her and cradled both her cheeks in his hands. He looked at her with tenderness as his thumb brushed away the tears. “I don’t want you to feel like what I’m going through is your fault. It’s not, okay? I’ll get through this in one way or another. You just do what you want. Don’t feel guilty or burdened by my pain. Just do whatever the hell you want, Danica and I’ll try to live with that.”

Dannnie lifted her eyes toward him, the tears flowing endlessly. Troy brushed them away again as she sniffed. “But I don’t know what I want. Troy, I don’t think I know what I want.”

Chapter 18

A piece of the past…

“Brady, give it back!” Dannie cried after him.

“No way!” he said, looking over his shoulder. He held up his hand and did a fanning motion with the photo he just stole from her. “I’ll use this to scare the rats from home!”

“Brady!” she indignantly cried out.

“Just let it go, Dannie,” George said dryly. “It’s just one photo.”

“Yeah, and he took one from us a while ago.” Jackie said, looking at her own set of photos. Their graduation shots just came and Brady stole one from each of them.

Graduation day was approaching and she wondered if she’d ever step into college.

PRESENT DAY

A very long moment passed in silence. The only proof that time did not freeze on its own was the rustling sound of the sugarcane leaves. And my own whirring engine, of course. There was stillness between the two of them that I almost thought they were having a telepathic communication going on there.

Troy was looking at Dannie baby’s eyes. I was really praying he wouldn’t kiss her because that would be very gross considering what came out of his mouth just a few minutes ago. They stayed like that for a long time but Dannie baby broke the spell. Her eyes blinked and she stepped away from Troy’s embrace.

“Danica…” Troy stuttered. She held up her hand.

“Forget what I just said. It was nothing,” she hurriedly said. “It was nothing. Just…just forget it. Let’s go.”

Honestly, I expected Troy to transform into his usual excited self. I expected him to jump with joy at the thought that Dannie baby was confused. He had a chance, right? Just a bit more pushing and pulling and he’d have his happy ending. What he did next surprised me though. He just stared at her and nodded his head.

What the hell is wrong with you? Shouldn’t you talk about it more? You know, dig a bit further and urge her to confess or something?

Dannie baby almost ran to my side and sat behind the steering wheel, gripping it tightly with both hands. I could feel the rush of blood through her fingers. She took a deep breath and shook her head. Troy followed, climbing inside the passenger seat without a word. He stole a look at her before he leaned his head back to rest on my seat.

You know, this could very well be your true last chance and you blew it away. She might be back to her old self in no time and you will not get another chance.

The drive back home was tiring as hell. And should I say dangerous? The road was okay by construction but we had to go through some zigzags. Dannie baby was a good driver though so I knew we were safe. The last time I went through this road, Georgie almost threw us off a cliff, that accident-prone lady!

Troy slept for at least an hour or so. When he woke up, he told Dannie baby they should swap and she should get some rest. She said no, of course. He might be a good driver, but he did drink back in Dumaguete, right?

By the time we reached Bacolod, it was almost midnight.

And by the time we reached the apartment, Jackie and Georgie were already standing by the doorway, their arms crossed over their chests and their eyes darting toward Troy.

“Let me explain—” Troy started in a tired voice.

“We don’t want your explanations. The two of you, get inside,” Georgie ordered before turning around to go back inside the apartment.

Jackie made a motion of slicing her neck with her finger as she looked at Troy.

Troy just rolled his eyes and allowed Dannie baby to enter the apartment first. Jackie slapped his arm before pushing him inside and closed the door behind them.

There went my evening drama marathon, I uttered to myself.

---

Troy had to go home. There was no question there. George was a bit disappointed that they got home so late. After a lot of scolding and more apologies from Troy, he was released to go home.

“I’ll get going,” he said to Dannie, standing up.

“You can sleep here—” she began but Jackie cut in saying, “No, he’s going home because we have a lot to talk about.”

“Okay,” Dannie nodded and gave Troy a nod. He left and George immediately locked the door.

“What the hell happened?” Jackie asked, her voice etched with a bit of excitement which she immediately erased by clearing her throat and repeating, “What the hell happened, Dannie?”

“We told you what happened. And we’ve been on the phone with you guys while we were there. Nothing really happened,” Dannie insisted.

George crossed her arms across her chest and looked down at her. “I know that look. Something happened.”

Jackie’s eyes widened and she could no longer contain her excitement. “Oh my God. Something really happened?”

Dannie was never a good liar, especially in front of her two friends. “It’s nothing, really.” She started to get up from the chair she was sitting on but George held up her hand and motioned for her to sit back.

“We’re not done yet. Do you know how worried we were? You said you were on your way home but you got here almost midnight!”

She frowned. “That’s why we answered your calls. We called whenever we could. And I thought you guys were cool with it after Troy talked to you? I was cool with it, wasn’t I?”

George and Jackie looked surprised. Her voice rose in pitch as she talked. Dannie was surprised as well at how she sounded.

“We’re just saying…you could have just—” George said but did not continue. “Forget it. This is all Troy’s fault anyway. You were just dragged into—”

“I had let him take me there. I agreed to his plan. It was not his fault so why were you being hard on him?” This time, she stood up, her voice shaking. She could feel blood rushing up her face and it was a rare feeling for her. “I came on my own, okay? So just give it a rest!”

George looked shock and Jackie’s mouth fell open.

She almost ran toward her room and almost slammed the door behind her. The tears automatically fell from her eyes as she blindly made her way to her bed and curled up in a ball. She wanted to hide under the covers and remain in the darkness until she was brave enough to face what was outside her door.

Her two friends, the only people who had been with her for the longest time, were outside and she just yelled at them in anger. Outside were the people she cared for and hated the most—Jackie. George. The sisters. The children. Troy. Her mother. Her father.

She closed her eyes as hard as she could as if the darkness of the room was not enough. She wanted them to go away. The memories and the feelings that came with them. She wanted them to be gone. They had been lingering inside her for too long. It was time for them to go away! But why couldn’t they?

“Why?” she whispered brokenly.

---

“Dannie,” Jackie’s voice said outside the door.

She opened her eyes. She didn’t know how long she had been sleeping—or if she had been sleeping at all.

When Jackie spoke again, her voice was just a few inches away from her.

Dannie shot up in bed in surprise. “Jackie! What are you doing here? You almost gave me a heart attack!” She wanted to tell her friend that she was shaking. For normal people, having your bedroom invaded by friends in secret was okay. But for her, any kind of surprise invasion made her jumpy. Ten years ago, she would have dropped down in a panic attack. Though she had managed them well through the years, such things still unnerved her.

“Well, I’m sorry, but we need to talk. We hope you’re done crying.”

And at the mention of we, George came in looking all worried.

Dannie sighed. “What time is it?”

“Time to talk,” Jackie uttered in reply.

“I’m serious.”

“Almost two,” George answered.

“PM?”

“Am.”

“You woke me up at this hour because of what happened earlier, right? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at—”

“You can shout all you want. You can cry all you want,” George cut in, gripping her arm with her hand. “In fact, that’s what we want you to do.” George’s powerful gaze held hers.

“We want you to tell us everything that’s bothering you. We want to know what’s going on inside your head. You know we care so much for you. We don’t want you to get hurt or confused. We want you to be okay,” Jackie said, her eyes already brimming with tears.

Dannie was about to open her mouth to say she was okay—that she was doing just fine. But she couldn’t do it.

“You’re holding a lot of things inside you. We’re your friends and we know you’re having a tough time. Let us help you. We can listen. We don’t have to say anything if you don’t want us to. But just say something—anything,” George almost begged her.

“I don’t want to ruin the wedding. I don’t want to—”

“The wedding’s not about you,” Jackie answered. “It will happen and it is happening. But we can’t just ignore you just because we have plans.”

“Fuck the wedding,” George said. “It can happen anytime, anywhere. And you’re one of the bridesmaids, remember?”

“The entourage will be better if we know that everyone walking down the aisle is okay. And as we can see, you’re not okay,” Jackie added. “Dannie, just say something. What are you thinking of?”

Dannie closed her eyes, trying to fight the tears. But they came anyway. She hastily brushed the one that ran down her cheek. “That’s the problem. I don’t know what I am thinking. I…I don’t know what I want.”

She repeated the same words she told Troy that evening.

“I don’t know what I want.”

Her friends were quiet for a while, probably mentally composing their own sentences.

“You’re confused,” Jackie said with certainty.

“Okay, I think it’s about time someone says this,” George finally said when Dannie kept her silence. “Dannie, do you really want to be a nun because you want to or you have to?”

Dannie looked at George, barely seeing her friend’s face in the darkness of her room. She was confused with her friend’s question.

“Let me rephrase it: Do you really want to be a nun because it is your choice or because you have no other choice?”

“What?” she asked despite knowing what George was really asking. It was the very same question she had been avoiding to answer herself.

“If your answer is the first, then we won’t stop you from going back in the convent. But if it is the latter, you know you’re making things harder for you,” George added gently.

“Dannie, I have to agree with George,” Jackie spoke, taking her hand in hers. “We want you to know happiness and if you are trying to avoid the possibility of having that because of your own fears by locking yourself in a convent, we don’t think you’ll ever be happy.”

“If entering the convent is your way to escape from the bad things, you’re also escaping from the best possible things that can happen to you as well. You’re locking us and everything else out not because it is what you want but because you are afraid,” George said.

Dannie opened her mouth to object but thought not to say anything and closed it once more.

“Or maybe it is also your way of punishing yourself,” George added slowly.

Dannie’s head snapped at her friend’s words. The tears started to flow once again and her shoulders started to shake.

“Was I right?” George asked. Jackie gasped beside her.

“Dannie, you did not do anything wrong,” Jackie said.

“I can’t forgive her,” she gasped in between tears. “I don’t think I can ever forgive them for what they did…I know it’s wrong for me to feel this way after many years. But I still hate them!” The pain was too much now and she clenched her fist over her heart. The tingling current of pain radiated throughout her body and she started to shake. George’s arms circled her, as did Jackie’s.

The three of them sat on her bed, crying for her pain.

---

“What time is it?” Dannie asked later. The three of them were sitting across her bed, their backs on the wall and their legs stretched out before them. Dannie was at the center, George and Jackie at both sides. They were looking at nothing in particular at the wall across from them, their gazes blank—almost in a trance.

“It’s time for us to sleep,” Jackie answered tiredly.

“What do you plan to do?” asked George.

“I need to sort myself out first, I guess,” she answered. “I don’t know a lot of things anymore.”

Jackie took her hand and squeezed it. “We’re here for you.”

“No pressure, Dannie. Don’t put yourself in a lot of pressure. No one is expecting you to do the right thing here. But we do expect you to be happy with what you do,” George told her.

She nodded her head and smiled. “Thanks. I’ll try.”

---

Troy was back the very next morning. The apartment was quiet so I figured the boys were still sleeping. What the hell was he doing here at this time of day?

Hey, Tata, what’s wrong with him?

My friend said he had been restless since last night. He woke up very early and had been coming in and out of the garage since four in the morning until he finally decided to drive to the apartment at six.

Great. Just when I thought I had enough drama yesterday, I said dryly.

Troy just stood outside the apartment without knocking on the door. And he stayed like that for five or so minutes.

And then the lady appeared.

My engine almost started on its own. Oh my gas! No, not again…please!

Troy identified her as fast as I did. He turned around to face her even before she saw him. She stopped in her tracks and Troy walked the remaining distance between them.

Oh holy gases…

I had to admit. It was going to be a very interesting encounter.

Chapter 19

A piece of the past…

Tessa got worse last night.

Dannie could only do so much as she sat beside her sister’s bed.

Her mother came in with a plastic bag. “This is for you.”

She raised her eyebrows at her mother in question.

The woman looked at her sister and then back at her with a glare. “Go get ready,” she said, throwing the plastic bag at Dannie.

Dannie took the dress out of the bag and tear fell from her eye.

PRESENT DAY

I watched Troy stride toward her with purposeful steps. Gone was the anxious look on his face. It was replaced with anger now. “Why do you keep coming here? We made it clear to you that Danica doesn’t want to see you again. Ever,” Troy hissed the moment he reached the woman.

“I just want a chance to talk to her and tell her—”

“Haven’t you realized what you have done yet?” Troy cut in, his eyes narrowing down at the woman. Thank to my manufacturer, I didn’t have any hairs because if I did, they would have erected to full height at seeing Troy’s fury. It was intense—frighteningly so. “You have wrecked her in more ways than one,” he hissed down at Dannie’s mother when she did not answer.

The lady started to tear up but Troy was not having it.

“I don’t know a lot about what you have done to her, but I know enough to make sure that she never gets to see your face again. Go before I call the cops,” Troy ordered, pointing his finger away from the apartment. “Danica doesn’t want to see you. We don’t want to see you. Go now.”

“I just want to ask for—”

“Forgiveness? For what? For turning a blind eye while your husband molested your daughter? No parent who loves their child could ever stomach that. You were never a mother to Danica and you never will be. Go now. I’m serious. Stay fuck away from her life.”

My bumpers almost fell off and for a little moment there I felt bad for the woman. But Troy Brady did the right thing. I know I had volunteered to take Jackie’s stalker’s dead body in my trunk before, but I would not even dare wish for a single dead skin cell from that lady inside me. Not one!

The lady took a step back and turned around to leave.

Good. And never come back!

Tata was horrified witnessing Troy’s fury while I was cheering for him.

Tata told me that he should not have done it but I disagreed.

My friend, he was just doing what’s right. That lady is not worth a single second of Dannie’s attention.

She asked me what else the lady did.

I hate to tell you and I think I’ll have to think about it if I really want to tell you because, my friend, what she did was worse than what Troy thought she did.

---

Just as when everything was okay, Troy decided to drop by unannounced once again.

The three of them was about to get out of bed after sleep had given up on them. Jackie and Dannie volunteered to do the breakfast while George was to fix the coffee.

The moment they walked out of Dannie’s room, a knock came from the front door.

The three of them looked at each other in question, their eyes still puffy and red from all the crying and lack of sleep.

“Don’t ask me. Dean isn’t coming by today,” Jackie told George.

Another knock came.

“Jordan didn’t say he’s coming,” George said.

And then their faces lit up in realization and worry registered on their faces. Dannie was certain they were thinking about her mother.

She walked to the door before Jackie caught her arm. “I’ll bet you a hundred it’s going to be Troy.”

“Dannie, it could be that woman again and—” Jackie started but Dannie was already swinging the door open. “Oh, yeah, you’re right. It’s him,” her friend said with a roll of her eyes. “I can’t deal with him right now. I’ll go make breakfast.”

“What are you doing here?” Dannie asked while mentally hoping that she was acting normal. Her brows furrowed when she saw the look on his face. “What happened?”

Her question must have snapped him back to the present from whatever was occupying his thoughts because he blinked and his face suddenly changed with it, and a smile crept up his face. He took a deep breath and entered the apartment in a manner he always did any other normal day. “Hello, boys, did you, by any chance, have decided on a verdict? Am I forgiven?”

George threw him a stinging look.

“And, did anyone, by any chance, tell you that I have been contacted by a close acquaintance of Rock this morning?”

“Rock who?” asked Jackie with a yawn as she opened the fridge.

“Rock the caterer, of course.”

At that, both Jackie and George snapped their heads at him. “Is it set then? She’s not backing out again, is she?” asked Jackie.

Troy just smiled at them without a response.

“Troy,” George’s voice demanded.

Troy turned his head toward her and continued to smile. “Verdict for me?”

“Okay, fine! You’re forgiven!” Jackie cried with frustration.

“Well?” Dannie asked him.

“The food tasting is at eleven this morning,” Troy announced with a proud grin. “See what miracles came out of the trip? You guys would not have a caterer today if I did not do what I did.” He turned to Dannie and winked with his boyish smile, one she hadn’t seen for quite a while. But at the back of her mind, she wondered until when they had to continue to act like everything was okay. A part of her wanted this—Troy being his old self and the other for them to start sorting things out so they knew where they stood.

She had thought hard about it last night, as she was driving back home. Yes, she didn’t know what she wanted. Her mind she wanted to go back to the convent and pursue what she believed was her calling but something inside her wanted something else whenever she thought of Troy moving on with his life without her in it. It was only now that she realized she was being selfish. She liked the peacefulness she felt inside the convent, the feeling of safety and calmness—yet she also liked the feeling of being Troy’s subject of affection. Dannie didn’t want to let go of what the convent had offered her for the past year. But she didn’t think she could also let go of Troy’s love. Both offered things she had never experienced before in her life and she wanted to grab both at the same time.

Was it wrong to want completely opposite things at the same time? Was she really being selfish to want Troy to not forget about his feelings for her? But Dannie knew that she only had to choose one and let go of the other. Choosing the convent would mean she had to let Troy’s love go so he could live his life without her in it. And if she chose Troy, she had to face her fears because there would no longer be a convent for her to run to.

And then it struck her.

George’s questions earlier were spot on.

Do you really want to be a nun because it is your choice or because you have no other choice?

Or maybe it is also your way of punishing yourself. Was I right?

As she watched her two friends and Troy banter in the kitchen about the day’s schedule for gown fitting and food tasting, Dannie became even more confused. Right at that very moment, she felt she was in the right place—that this was where she belonged.

But soon one of her friends would have to leave. And it would not be long before the other would follow. Where would that leave her?

Troy? She didn’t want to choose Troy just because she had no one else. If she had to make a choice, she had to find more reasons.

---

“I don’t think it fits you well.” Troy’s statement made everyone’s head turn. He looked at them defensively and added, “What?” He motioned his hand toward Dannie. “Just look at her. She looks like a nun. And she’s not even one yet.”

George was about to give him a kick but Jordan stopped her. Dean had to suppress his laughter because Jackie elbowed his side.

“No offense, Danica, but that dress doesn’t become you. There’s something wrong with it that I can’t really point out,” Troy voiced out, walking toward her.

Dannie turned around and looked at herself in the mirror. The black gown fitted her well and she couldn’t see anything wrong with the design. She, Jackie and George had carefully picked the design themselves and it was a big disappointment to hear Troy say it didn’t look good. Her brows knitted together. “I think it is okay,” she murmured, tugging the gown down for a better fit.

“It is great. Don’t believe him,” Jackie said from behind.

“I don’t know, something’s just wrong with it,” Troy said, now right beside her and studying her through the mirror.

She suddenly grew conscious and pushed him away. “Get out of the way, you’re suffocating my space,” she said the words she used to say years ago.

“It’s probably the color,” he continued, stepping right back beside her, his hands on his hips. His eyes were serious as he looked her up and down through the full-length mirror.

“We already decided for the black and white motif,” George said dryly.

“Yep. Classic and simple,” Jackie said dreamily.

A week ago, they were excited about the dresses. But now, seeing Troy’s reaction, Dannie couldn’t help but feel down.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter if I look good in it or not. It’s not going to be my wedding,” she said with a sigh.

“No! It is great!” George and Jackie chorused.

“Why did you tag along with us, anyway?!” Jackie threw at Troy with frustration.

But he did not hear her for he continued to look at Dannie like it was his responsibility to fix the problem. “You know, I think it will look good if you lose the sleeves.”

“The sleeves?” she asked with doubt, fingering the right sleeve.

He nodded. “Just have the one that goes like this,” he explained, sliding his hand from his left shoulder down to his right armpit.

“Yeah, I guess that will suit you better, Dannie. That kind of cut,” Jordan spoke beside George.

“It’s called a Venus cut, guys,” Jackie announced with a roll of her eyes.

“Well, it will definitely change the whole look but that will depend on Dannie,” George uttered, standing up. “I like the bottom cut though,” she added, eyeing the floor-length wavy fabric.

“You’ll look good with that…” Troy said, pointing at Jackie for the right term, “whatever cut, Danica.”

Dannie looked at herself in the mirror again before she turned to Troy, asking, “You think?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, I definitely think so.”

“Well?” George asked.

She squared her shoulders and said, “Okay. I’ll go with that cut and lose the sleeves.”

Troy triumphantly turned around and faced Jackie, “See why I had to tag along?”

---

“I wonder why he has to tag along,” Georgie asked no one in particular. We were on our way to Rock’s restaurant for the food tasting. Jordan had to ditch Vicky aka Victor because Georgie insisted on driving me. I knew she missed playing with my gears! Ha!

Jordan looked through my rearview mirror to check on Troy and Dannie baby inside Tata as they followed close behind us. Beatle, Jackie and Dean were right behind them somewhere.

“Is he still trying to win her over?” Jordan asked.

“You tell me. You guys talk more often.”

“He doesn’t talk more often than he used to.”

“And what do you think about it?”

Jordan sighed and shrugged. He slumped back against my passenger seat. “I don’t know. He’s been kind of distant lately.”

“Ever since Dannie came back. Since that day he confessed, he had been vocal about wanting to win her over but when she came right out the convent, he’s just…I don’t know…weird.”

“Maybe because Dannie is making it hard for him.”

“Don’t even go there,” Georgie warned him. “She has issues and she’s having a hard time.”

A long silence reigned inside as the two of them were deep in thought. Jordan spoke first. “You know, I believe that she has feelings for the poor guy.”

“What made you think so?”

“If she’s having a hard time right now, that only means she’s confused right?”

A corner of Georgie’s mouth lifted in a smile. “I always thought you were smart.”

Jordan beamed while looking ahead. “Just watch the road. I am not smart where your driving is concerned.”

“Shut up.”

Jordan had a point. Dannie baby wouldn’t be in such a complete mess if she didn’t have feelings for Troy in the first place, right? Now I wonder…

---

Dannie was surprised to see Stephanie and Erik at the restaurant when they arrived. The lady jumped to her feet upon seeing her and greeted her with a hug.

“It is so nice to meet you again. Rock told us you were coming so we waited,” she said, pointing at her husband.

Troy was already greeting Erik and introduced the couple to the bride and groom.

“They are the ones who actually made sure that no one is going to go hungry on the wedding day,” Troy added after all the handshakes and small talks.

“It’s nothing,” Stephanie dismissed with a wave of her hand.

“Well, I quite agree,” Erik said with a laugh. “We had to move our son’s party five hours ahead so Rock could accommodate the wedding reception.”

“What?!” Dannie, Jackie and George cried out.

“Ga! You didn’t have to tell them that!” Stephanie said, giving Erik a slap. “Really, guys, it’s nothing. It’s a kid’s party and the time doesn’t really matter for these children as long as they can play and go crazy. So don’t look like you’ve committed a crime.”

Erik laughed and said, “Yeah, no worries. Our party is quite flexible compared to the wedding.”

And before anyone could say anything about being sorry for ruining other people’s party, Rock came out from the kitchen followed by three people carrying trays. The beautiful lady was smiling at them from ear to ear and said, “Let the food tasting begin…”

Dannie watched as the bride and groom fought over the food. Troy decided to butt in and enjoy the food as well as give his own honest comments.

While they were busy, Erik disappeared into the kitchen of the restaurant like it was his own and Stephanie was left alone. Dannie decided to stay with her.

“It seems that your husband and Rock are pretty close. He’s invading the kitchen.”

“Would you believe that I once thought they were like dating or something? They are that close,” Stephanie said. “But as I had said, things fell into place. Which reminds me,” she leaned conspiratorially closer to Dannie and whispered, “what’s the status between you and Troy?”

Dannie laughed awkwardly. “Still friends?”

Stephanie was fondly looking at the two couples and Troy as they talked with Rock about the food. “You have a good bunch of friends, I tell you.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“As a matter of fact, you have enough to think about taking Troy out of the friend zone. Just my opinion, of course.”

Dannie just decided to laugh it off. Stephanie was obviously someone who said whatever crossed her mind without any filter. “I’m on the process.”

That gave the lady pause. “Process of what?”

“Of trying to decide what I really want.”

Stephanie leaned away to give her a good look, her face full of mischief. “I hope you make a decision soon. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good one or a bad one. What matters is that it’s your choice.”

Dannie smiled at her and answered, “You know, that’s exactly what my friend said.”

“Well, it’s true. Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself.”

“And they told me that too.”

“Then I conclude that your friends are great.” Stephanie said, looking over at George and Jackie. “Good thing you have them. I didn’t have many in the past and I had to do it all alone on my own—the decision-making, I mean. It would have been better if there were people around me who understood what I’ve been going through in the past, you know. And I am glad that you have such people around you. Don’t lose them.”

Dannie smiled at her warmly. “I pray every single day that I don’t lose them.”

“So, about Troy…”

“Still on Troy?” she asked with amusement.

“Yes, of course. What are you planning to do?”

“As I’ve said, I’m still trying to decide.”

“How will you do it?”

“By trying to fix myself first.”

Stephanie frowned at her.

“I have a lot of issues. And I have to deal with them first before I can deal with other people. I need to know what I really want for myself.”

Stephanie straightened her back and sighed. “That’s right. Deal with yourself first before you go and face the world. Take it from someone who did a lot of soul searching.”

“Hey, Danica, help us out here,” Troy called out for her from the table.

“Go. I’ll go get my husband and save Rock’s kitchen,” Stephanie said, standing up as well.

“Thank you for everything you did for my friend’s wedding,” Dannie told her. “And thank you for the wise words.”

Stephanie just laughed. “I’m not wise. I’ve been just through some stuff.”

---

“Finally, the day is over. The guys are planning to go to Art District later tonight. Want to tag along?” Troy’s question brought Dannie back to the present. They were driving out of Rock’s restaurant, the catering all set—thanks to the Luzuriaga couple—and their stomachs full.

“Sure,” she said, surprising Troy.

“You’re going?”

“You asked, didn’t you? Why are you so shocked?”

Something crossed his features but he immediately washed it off with his usual grin. “Nothing. It’s set then. I’ll let Miguel and Lee know.”

“Can you drop me off somewhere first?”

“What? Now? Where?”

Dannie thought about her answer for a moment. “The convent.”

Chapter 20

A piece of the past…

“Where’s Danica’s assignment?” Troy asked Jackie and George.

The two girls looked at him stingily. “She didn’t make one,” George finally answered.

“It’s the last assignment of our high school life and she didn’t make one? Come on, you’re just trying to hide it from me. Just let me borrow it for a minute. I won’t let Miguel and Lee see it, promise!” he said desperately.

“We told you she didn’t make one so just do your assignment alone!” Jackie snapped at him.

Troy opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when Dannie came near, her eyes blank.

George kicked him and gave him a look that said, “Don’t say anything.”

Troy decided to walk away, wondering why Dannie, of all people, wasn’t able to do their assignment.

PRESENT DAY

“Do you want me to pick you up later?” asked Troy as he stopped Tata outside the convent gates.

“I’ll go on my own when I—”

“Just give me a call,” he interrupted, not hearing her.

She did not want to have another round of banter so just uttered a thanks before climbing down Tata. Troy did not drive off until she was a few feet away from the gates.

She waved goodbye, took a deep breath and went inside.

Sister Odette was one of the sisters she was close to and the only one who had the time to talk to her that afternoon.

“You should have told us you are dropping by,” the nun told her. They decided to settle on a bench outside the convent church. No civilian was around at that time.

“It’s just a random visit,” Dannie explained.

“How are you spending your break?” Sister Odette asked in a very calm voice. Considering her large built, her gentle voice was a big surprise to Dannie when she first came to the convent.

“It’s been interesting,” she answered.

A long silence reigned between them. Dannie was quite certain that the nun was trying to figure out the real reason for her visit. At the same time, she tried to figure out a way to say what she wanted to say.

“You appear conflicted, my child,” Sister Odette finally said.

Dannie was not surprised by her words at all. The nun had always been very perceptive.

“My mother came by a few times to talk to me,” she finally admitted, avoiding the nun’s gaze.

“And?”

“And I didn’t face her. I don’t want to face her.”

“Because you are not ready to forgive her yet.” It was not a question.

Dannie finally met Sister Odette’s eyes and nodded. “Whenever I think of her coming to our apartment to see me, I want to hide—go back here so she can’t see me again.”

“Danica,” the lady said, taking her hand in a gentle and comforting hold. “This convent is not a place for you to hide from your fears.”

“I know,” she sniffed. The tears had started to fall once more and she wiped them away with her free hand.

“Nor is it a place for you to punish yourself for not being able to forgive the woman who gave you a lot of suffering in the past.” Sister Odette squeezed her hand as she talked. “We are here because it is our calling—because we want to serve the Lord with all that we are.”

“I want to serve the Lord, I do.” Dannie bent her head as the tears continued to flow.

The nun held her chin to turn her head up to face her once more. “My child, you can serve the Lord in many different ways. You can serve him from here. And you can also serve him from outside.”

“But I want to serve him from here.”

“Because it is the safest place for you? Because it is where you can punish yourself daily for being human—for not forgiving your mother?” The nun slowly shook her head. “Danica, it is not the way the Lord wants to be served. He wouldn’t want to deprive you of the things you want from outside just to serve Him.”

Dannie looked at the nun warily.

“Danica, you are conflicted because you see a lot of reasons to not go back inside these convent walls. You are conflicted because you thought you made the right choice.”

“I don’t know what I want anymore, Sister. I don’t know what I want.”

“I understand. But know one thing, my child,” the lady grabbed both her hands, held her gaze and continued, “We won’t hold whatever you decide to do against you. We have a long history of women who thought they are cut out for this way of life but ended up leaving. We never blame them for that. What we don’t want is someone who serves with us half-heartedly.”

“I’m trying to do my best. I’m trying to find out my purpose.”

“Is that why you came by? You want to see if you will feel right being here?”

“I have a lot of reasons.”

“Dear, the world is a vast place. Out there is a place where you can find yourself. You don’t have to run here to hide. Know that there are other places where you can find comfort. There are other people who can give you what you truly need. You know why? Because the Lord is everywhere and in every person you cherish. He uses a lot of instruments to give you strength. The convent—us—is not the only place for you. I am not trying to discourage you to go back here, but I want you to explore outside as much as you can. And if you decide that this is the place the Lord really wants you to be, then we will welcome you with open arms.”

Dannie cried her frustrations, fears and worries in the arms of Sister Odette. They stayed seated on the bench until they decided to pray together inside the church.

When she was ready to leave, the nun walked with her to the gates.

“Danica, have you ever been in love?”

The question struck her numb.

“What?” she asked.

“Have you ever been in love with a man?”

Dannie blinked a few times. “I—I don’t know what—”

Sister Odette laughed. “I have been in love, child. I was in love with a man before I entered the convent.”

That came as a surprise. “You have?”

The nun nodded.

“What happened?”

Sister Odette shrugged. “The Lord happened. I realized I experienced everything I needed to experience from the outside world, including love, but the love and contentment I felt in serving the Lord was far greater than any of them.”

The nun gave her a hug when she did not reply.

“What I am saying, my dear, is that you have a choice. Serving the Lord is not an obligation, but a choice.” Sister Odette let her go with a smile. “Your happiness is the Lord’s happiness. If you find that kind of happiness with others, He will bless you with His love. At this point, I believe that what you need to figure out is what really gives you happiness and contentment.”

---

When Dannie baby climbed down the jeepney outside of Art District, Troy was already waiting for her across the street. He leaned away from me and met her halfway.

“I thought you were going to call me once you’re—”

“I’m fine, Troy. Where are the others?” Dannie baby cut off, her voice tired.

“They’re already inside. They’ve been asking where you are but I didn’t tell them because you might not want to me to tell them or something,” Troy explained.

Dannie frowned. “Why wouldn’t I want them to know?”

Troy didn’t know how to answer because he shrugged and took her by the elbow. “Let’s go. They’ve been bugging me for hours.”

Dannie baby! Where have you been? Heard you went to the convent? What the holy Volks happened?! Huh? Tell me!

But Troy was already whisking her away to where the party was starting and I was left alone again with Tata and Beatle. Vicky aka Victor was at the apartment…poor vic.

---

“Where have you been?” Jackie whispered to Dannie the moment she sat between her two friends.

“The convent. To visit the sisters,” she vaguely explained.

She saw Jackie and George exchange a look but did not comment and accepted the juice offered to by Troy sitting across from her.

She looked at the crowd of people around her. Most were new faces, but she recognized a few who were regulars in the place.

Dean was on stage with the rest of Anon and they were just finishing a song.

“I asked him to play something for me,” Jackie said proudly when Nikki, the band’s lead singer and Dean’s cousin, finished her song.

“Like you always do,” George pointed out dryly, pouring Jordan’s glass with beer.

“I told you I am not drinking,” Jordan told her.

“It’s okay. You can drink a bottle,” George said.

“No. Who’s going to drive Toto? You? Not a chance,” he iterated with raised brows.

“Fine,” his girlfriend said, taking the glass for herself.

Dannie was surprised when Dean stood up and stood beside his cousin. He grabbed the guitar from Kurt, the lead guitarist, and started strumming. Everybody cheered. It was very rare to see the drummer of Anon stand up and take center stage.

Jackie, of course, was the loudest cheerer of all.

“This one’s for someone who had been bugging me to play this song,” Dean said after he tested the mic. His cousin and the rest of the band stepped back to give way to Dean’s acoustic number.

“That’s me,” Jackie explained to everyone.

“We know,” Lee, Miguel, Troy, Jordan, George and Dannie said in unison.

We’ve been together for a while now

We’re growing stronger everyday now

It feels so good and there’s no doubt

I will stay with you as each morning brings a sunrise

And the flowers bloom in springtime

Oh my love you can rely

And I’ll stay with you…

Dannie tried hard not to look at Troy’s direction as Dean continued singing his rendition of John Legend’s Stay with You.

Sister Odette’s words kept repeating in her head.

I believe that what you need to figure out is what really gives you happiness and contentment.

The nun was right. She had to know what really made her happy so she could decide what to do next. She had to find the reasons of her happiness.

She’d have to let go of any inhibitions she might have. She had to not think about the promises she had made one year ago.

She would start anew.

She would let people in like she had let God inside her heart.

That would have to include Troy.

---

So the problem actually started when Troy got pissed. Like really pissed I almost cowered and hid behind Tata if my engines were not turned off.

They all walked out of Art District in a jovial mood. They talked with the rest of the Anon members for a while until the group left.

Lee and Miguel were so drunk that they kept on laughing and making fun of everyone, especially Troy.

“I guess it’s true that you are indeed Tom Cruise, man,” said Lee.

“Why?” Troy asked dryly as he played with his keys.

“Because your Dannie Mission is one Mission Impossible!” Lee howled with laughter and Miguel joined in, walking over to Troy to give him a hug.

Troy pushed him away none too gently, causing alarm to the rest of the group.

“Hey, let’s all go home,” Dean uttered with a light tone as Jackie and Georgie pulled Lee and Miguel aside.

“What the hell’s wrong with you two? Just cut it off,” Troy almost shouted at them, his fists in a ball.

“We’re just saying that you failed your mission because it is IMPOSSIBLE because she’s going to be a nun of all things and—” Miguel started but Troy had already pulled him by the collar, causing Jordan and Dean to jump to his side to ease the tension.

Lee and Miguel were still laughing like lunatics that they were.

“Troy, just let it go,” Dannie baby tried to say but Troy was not hearing it.

“You’ve been pissing the hell out of me since this afternoon,” he told Miguel and Lee. He let go of Miguel’s shirt and pushed him away. His breathing was getting heavier.

“Go, you guys go home now,” Georgie told Dannie.

Dannie baby went approached Troy and calmly told him to give her his keys which he did.

“Climb inside and don’t mind them,” Dannie told him, opening Tata’s passenger door.

Ah… the drama. I hated it. I hated it!

Hey, Tata! You better not drive them to a freaking canal. Drive them safe back home! I shouted as Dannie started my friend’s engine.

Georgie was already pushing Lee and Miguel inside me.

Great. Now I am the delivery car of the drunken men. Great, Georgie!

---

“What do you think were you thinking? Those two are drunk. And you’ve always been pissing each other off whenever you’re drinking. So why the violent reaction? It’s not the first time they picked on you,” Dannie lectured as they made their way to the apartment. Obviously, Troy was going to stay the night again.

She thought he was not listening to what she was saying because he had been looking out the window, nipping on the side of one finger. She could tell that he was still angry. He, Miguel and Lee had always been picking on each other ever since she met them and they had always been cool with it. It was actually the first time that she witnessed Troy reacting this way to his friends’ jokes.

“It’s not that they were picking on me.”

“It’s the way they picked on you, is that it? That I am an impossible mission?” she asked.

He was silent for a long time that she started to feel the tension between them rise again.

“No,” he finally answered and this time, he turned his head to look at her. “It’s the way they picked on your decision to be a nun.”

Dannie had to admit that she was touched. She wasn’t even offended when Miguel said something about her decision to be a nun, but she was surprised that Troy took offense.

“No one has the right to make fun of such things,” Troy said after a while.

“Just let it go,” Dannie said. “But I’m glad you respect my decision. You respected it one year ago and you respect it now despite everything. I’m thankful for that.”

She saw him study her for a while from the corner of her eye. “No one can really contend with God and expect he’ll win the game, right?” he said with etch of bitterness in his voice.

Dannie was thoughtful for a while. “But then, sometimes, there’s no game to play. Maybe, there are just choices to be made and everyone gets the prize they deserve,” she quietly said.

“Then, if that’s the case, I’ll ask for you as my prize if you’ll have me. I’ll even pay for the collateral if there is any. And God doesn’t even have to ask me to if that’s the case. I’d gladly take you and He can give the rest to anyone.” When Dannie couldn’t give a proper response, Troy laughed bitterly. “There are too many IF’s in that sentence for anything to be possible.”

“IF is a harmless word.”

“It’s a complicated word.”

“IF is a harmless word. It gets complicated when you follow it with ONLY.”

“Now, that doesn’t make it complicated. That makes it cruel,” Troy said, pointing his finger at nothing in particular. “IF ONLY I did everything. IF ONLY I begged. IF ONLY I stayed. IF ONLY I was God.”

Dannie didn’t know why her eyes started to water. She nodded her head. “Okay, I get your point,” she tried to joke.

Deep inside she was thinking, IF ONLY I could forget.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      �����Ʀ�_�R�

Chapter 21

A piece of the past…

“Okay, that’s good enough,” her mother said after taking a good look at her from head to foot. She motioned with her head and added, “We can’t be late. Get your feet moving.”

Dannie felt like the ocean wave. Her mother was the wind, taking her wherever she wanted.

And this time, it was an intimidating, five-star hotel.

She could feel her limbs were getting numb and shaking at the same time. She didn’t realize she had stood frozen outside the elevator doors.

“What the hell are you waiting for? Get in!” her mother hissed at her.

She didn’t feel like she belonged there at all. So was her mother. Her dress was new, but it was not befitting to the place they were in right that moment. It was a wonder the guards did not stop them from entering wearing drab clothes.

But then, if she was right, it was her third time in the last two months. The guards must have an idea or maybe they were just plain ignorant.

“Just remember what I told you. And don’t repeat what you did the last time. Understand?” her mother instructed as the elevator took them upstairs to their desired floor. “Just think about your sister.”

She wasn’t listening. She was actually thinking what would happen if she just ran away. Would things be better? Would Tessa be alright?

Before she knew it, her mother was already pulling her toward a familiar door.

She looked at her mother, her eyes begging—pleading.

“Stop looking at me like that. This is your fault in the first place. If you didn’t do that to your father, this would not be—”

But the door opened before her mother could finish her speech. The man’s gaze immediately went to Dannie with recognition. He was just like every other normal man one would bump into the streets. He looked harmless, kind even.

“I’ll pick her up in two hours,” her mother said to the man, her voice serious and business-like. She pushed Dannie toward the guy and left without another glance at her.

“It’s nice to see you again,” the man said as greeting, pulling her gently inside the room. He closed and locked the door behind them.

All her thoughts went out the window and the only thing that lingered was the intense hatred toward her mother.

PRESENT DAY

Dannie slowly opened her eyes. It wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. And she was used to it by now.

She had long stopped hoping they would stop coming. For a time, they did, but they all came back when her mother dropped by for a visit one year ago.

Slowly, she got out of bed. The noise outside told her George and Jackie were with the guys who, apparently, did not go home after last night’s events.

Her hand went to her cheeks and she discovered that she had been silently crying in her sleep.

Walking to the mirror across her bed, she squared her shoulders. She had overcome that fateful day and she would overcome today as well. She spent some time to pray and thank God for another day. When she opened her bedroom door, the memories of her past were back in the darkest part of her mind, just somewhere in between the conscious and subconscious. Ready to disappear and ready to resurface.

“Good, you’re up,” George said when she saw Dannie close the door behind her. Jordan, Dean and Troy were scattered on the carpeted floor of the living room, their head bent over their tablets. Their coffees were sitting beside them, all half-empty.

Jackie was toasting some bread while muttering about men who never had the chance to grow up.

“Have some coffee before we go,” George ordered like a mother.

Dannie obliged, taking an empty seat around their small dining table.

“Hey, you big guys with minds of three-year-olds, don’t get me started with counting from one to three!” Jackie shouted at the three guys in the living room. “Dean!”

“Coming,” Dean said, blindly standing up, his gaze not leaving the tablet.

“Are we going somewhere?” asked Dannie as guys slowly made their way to the table.

“We’re on shift at the HQ today,” explained George, pointing at Jordan who was already wearing his Red Cross shirt. “But we are going to have dinner together after Jackie and Dean get off work.”

“What am I going to do the whole day then? Are there any tasks left for the wedding?”

“Almost everything is covered now,” Jackie said, “except the prenuptial shoot.” She threw Troy a look before placing the plate of toasts on the table.

“I already told you I have one scheduled today,” Troy uttered, finally letting go of his tab. “It’s a lost battle, guys. Let’s do it again later,” he said to Jordan and Dean who collectively sighed their defeat in response. “You wanna come with me?” Troy asked Dannie.

She thought about it for a while and nodded. “Sure.”

“Then better get ready after breakfast. We have to go by my house to get my equipment and then we’ll be on the road.”

“Where’s the shoot?”

“The couple had reserved a place in Sipalay for the shoot so it’s going to be a long drive. Don’t say you’re not coming,” he added hastily, “you already said yes.”

“You’re not kidnapping her again, are you?” Jackie asked.

“Let’s not talk about that again, please,” Dean said dryly.

“It’s old news,” Jordan added. “Get over it.”

“Like we can forget how he drove Dannie to the other side of the province,” George snapped at him. “I’ll go get ready. Ready Toto.”

“We’re not taking my car?” Jordan asked with disappointment.

“No, we’re taking Toto.”

---

I was feeling ambivalent about the driving arrangement.

Part of my engine wanted to jumpstart with joy when they said I would be staying in the city where it was safe for my tires, but another part wanted to whine and whirr with the thought of Dannie baby and Troy going out of town again without me. The guy was prone to taking her somewhere unplanned and I didn’t want to stay here and worry over them.

But then the owners had the final say. Now, it was Tata, my friend, who would have to endure the drama to Sipalay.

Anyway, I hadn’t seen Dee, my ambulance friend, for quite some time now.

The men were already waiting outside for my boys to come out and they were talking. And when the men talked, I listened with my supersonic metallic ears.

“You think you still have a chance?” Dean asked Troy as they leaned against me. On the side note, I barely withstood the weight of them three together! My tires were screaming for help!

“I don’t know. I just know Dannie has deeper issues than what all of us know and I think it’s only between them boys. Whatever she went through in the past, I don’t think I’ll ever find out. I just know that it’s worse than what I think. I just get this feeling, you know.”

“I just asked if you think you still have a chance. I don’t think we want to talk about her past as we all know it is not something nice, what with George and Jackie’s overprotective nature over Dannie,” Dean said.

“What I mean is that I am no longer trying to gauge whether or not I have a chance with her. I just…I don’t know. As much as I want it, I want for her to be the one to get the chance to experience a lot of things she never got to experience because of her past. Do I want her to go back in that convent? No, of course not. But that’s not my decision to make. It is hers. And whether I have a chance or not is not up to me so you are asking the wrong person, man. And don’t dare ask her. She doesn’t even know what she wants at the moment. Let’s just let her be. Let her do random things without expecting a lot from her. That will only put a lot of pressure on her and she has this tendency to panic whenever she’s under pressure.”

Jordan snickered. “I never thought you’re capable of saying such deep words.” Troy made a motion of kicking the man. “But haven’t you thought of you know…going away alone, give her space and let her realize what she’s missing? It might just work.”

Troy was silent for a while. He must be considering Jordan’s suggestion, the idiot! “Isn’t that manipulation in a way?”

Yes, my boy…it is! Jordan, you manipulative bitch of a man! Stop giving Troy some crazy ideas!

Dean and Jordan slowly shook their heads, their expression telling me that they were also doubtful.

“I don’t want to manipulate Danica in any way. And I don’t want to go away. She’s here, outside of the convent, and it might be the last time I’ll see her again after many years. And being absent from someone else’s life does not reassure good results. Most would agree that presence is more effective.”

“Stop with the philosophy. I cringe hearing it from you,” Dean said in jest, pushing away from me.

“You have to be ready, man,” Jordan told him, “the wedding’s coming up and there will surely be a lot of cringe-worthy moments.” He followed it with a laugh when Dean almost puked.

“Not going to happen,” Troy uttered with a smile.

“Definitely not going to happen,” Dean agreed.

Though they were laughing at the humor, I couldn’t help but notice the distant look on Troy’s face.

Ah…poor boy!

---

“Ever since I came back, I’ve been doing a lot of random things with you,” Dannie commented as they made their way out of town. They had dropped by Troy’s house for a short time to get his equipment for the shoot and now they were on the road to Sipalay, one of the best beach destinations in the province.

“You need some randomness in your life,” he pointed out, grabbing his wallet from his pocket as he drove. “Can you find the piece of paper with an address written on it? It’s just there somewhere.”

“You wrote the address in a piece of paper?”

“No, the groom did. Apparently, he doesn’t believe in the power of smartphones. I think I placed it in one of the smaller compartments.”

Dannie searched his wallet and found the paper. And the photo. “I can’t believe you’ve been keeping it all this time.”

His head turned to see what she meant and he immediately grabbed his wallet from her. “You can’t take it back. It’s antique and precious.” He laughed at his own remark and Dannie could only shake her head.

“I don’t like how I look in that photo,” she said.

“You look okay, Danica. This photo actually saved our house from pests for years,” Troy said, avoiding Dannie’s slap. “Hey, stop it. I’m driving.”

“By the way, have you talked with Miguel and Lee yet? You should fix things with them.”

“They do not even remember what happened last night.”

“Are you serious?”

“Come on, you know us. We fix things easier than girls can. What happened is in the past. They cannot remember what they said so I just let them have their suffering in not knowing,” he said with a smile. “You should rest. It’s going to be a long drive.”

Dannie did not want to rest. She wanted to see everything they passed by—each town and the different sceneries they offered. Sipalay was at least four hours away from Bacolod, could be less if you drove faster. But Troy seemed to not mind the time. He said they were aiming for the sunset and it would be hours before they did the shoot proper. The couple, though, was already waiting for him at Tinagong Dagat, one of the resorts in the place.

She found a sense of calmness as Troy drove past the different towns. She saw the traces of urban life slowly disappear as Sipalay neared. At one point, they decided to open the windows and let the fresh wind give them relief from the artificial coolness of the air condition. It was fascinating to witness the wonder of the sea when they traveled through the side of the mountain.

They arrived in Sipalay just after lunch.

Tinagong Dagat didn’t offer the seaside experience. What it offered was a fantastic lagoon-like view. The resort consisted of three or four small hill-like islands people could visit. There were a series of bamboo bridges that led to the little islets of the place. The sea was just under them, but there were no dry sand. The tide had fallen back and Dannie could see the corrals through the crystal clear waters. Troy led her through three more long bridges to reach the resort’s restaurant. As they walked, Dannie noticed the different cottages built in each islet, each with their own small swimming pools. It wasn’t a perfect beach experience, but the view was just fantastic. She could easily imagine what it would look like during sunset.

The couple, Fretzel and Oozie, was already waiting for them with food. The two were obviously excited and did not question Dannie’s presence for the shoot. Fretzel started gushing about the different outfits she brought with her and how she’d let Troy decide which would best suit the atmosphere of the shoot.

Fretzel wanted to shoot at a nearby resort where there was an actual beach with white sands. Troy was cool with it. He even suggested they went island hopping so he could take shots of the couple on a boat.

They ate their late lunch and as they did, Dannie was amazed at how Troy was taking his job seriously. She had never seen him at an actual work kind of photo shoot. In the past, she had always thought he was just a rich kid who liked playing around with his cameras. She knew his website was famous in its own way, but she never expected he actually had a job doing what he loved. And that he was serious about it.

“Are you staying here or are you coming with us?” They were planning to go to a nearby resort for some shots and island hopping.

She liked it that he was giving her an option. “I think I’ll stay here. I’ll see you when you get back.”

“You sure? Do you have your phone with you? You call me when you need anything.”

“I’ll be fine, Troy.”

He hesitated for a while before he nodded and left with the couple.

Dannie was left alone to roam the place. She climbed to the peak of one of the islets and spent a long time just watching the color of the sky slowly change before her eyes.

She felt calm and contented. Happy? She didn’t know. She just knew that she felt safe, not worried about anything at the moment. She knew Troy was just one call away. And she knew he’d be coming back soon.

---

Okay, so I was actually having a normal day, away from all the Dannie and Troy drama and I was fine with it. I was slightly worried that Dannie would either break down there or something, but not really. I had decided to trust Troy Brady again, despite what he did back in Siquijor because for one, I didn’t have any freaking other choice!

What I thought to be a normal day actually turned out to be one of the most dreadful one I ever had to endure after a long time. It almost made my engines burst with panic and thoughts of dying and seeing my makers.

Wonder what happened to me while my boys were away?

It was nothing, really.

I just got freaking CARnapped!!!

Chapter 22

A piece of the past…

Tessa had gotten worse. Her cough had become more uncontrollable. Soon after, she was spitting blood. The doctors could only do so much with their financial status.

It meant more hotel visits for Dannie. She didn’t know how much the men paid her mother, but she assumed, that with everything that they had done to her—with everything that she had experienced—it would have been enough to cover her sister’s hospital bill.

“This is going to be the last visit,” was the frequent words she’d hear from her mother. But the last one would always be followed by another.

The more her visits, the more her mother’s Bingo and Mahjong friends came by.

She was already shaking with anger as her mother dragged her back to the hotel in a new dress. Tessa was lying in the hospital alone with no medicine to take. She’d have to endure this one again, she thought.

Her mother left her outside the door. The let her in.

Dannie sat on the bed, her heart beginning to hammer. Just like last week and the week before that. The man started to undress. A new feeling unraveled inside her. It started in her gut and slowly climbed higher to her throat. Before she knew it, Dannie was running for the door and the man shouted after her.

She ran as far as her feet would take her until she could not take it anymore.

She puked on the carpeted floor as the tears streamed down her face. In her head, she was crying for Tessa’s forgiveness.

She couldn’t take it anymore.

Dannie started running again.

PRESENT DAY

Okay, so I said I was CARnapped, right?

Yes, I was!

After all the mileage, after all the love and care and after all the repainting and overhauling, they decided to CARNAP me? At this stage of my vehicular life?!

Come on, right?

Who would want to bargain for me?!

Well, it turned out there were a few people would wanted me back and I only learned about it hours after my mysterious disappearance.

How did it happen?

Simple.

I was waiting for Jordan and Georgie to finish off their shift at the Red Cross HQ. I was having a nice talk with Dee, the ambulance friend of mine, when suddenly the couple ran out with two more crew members for a run. They had an emergency call.

So I said goodbye to Dee, telling her to keep the couple safe, most preferably Jordan since I was sure Georgie could take care of herself.

And I was left alone. Again. Naturally.

I was doing some mental yoga in my mind so I would not think about Dannie baby and her problems. I was also stressed and a stressed car was not good for itself or its passengers. I had to keep my engines cool and relaxed and calm.

Until I had to panic and shout at the top of my gas tank.

See, I saw a very familiar figure walk toward me. I was used to seeing him, but not at the HQ. At first I thought he was there to visit Georgie since they sort of, well, had a history though they were now good friends.

But no. He was walking toward me. And—take note—he was alone.

Jam, where’s Nomad? I asked after his motorbike.

Of course, the human did not hear me. He just looked at me with weary in his eyes, his steps hesitant.

He looked around a few times and when he was sure there was no one around, he closed the distance between us. And took out a set of keys.

They looked familiar.

Do you have copies of my keys?! Of course, I had to shout the question. There were only three copies of existence as far as I know: Jackie’s, Dannie’s and Georgie’s.

And as far as I could see by the look of the orange cat keychain, Jam was holding Jackie’s copies.

My engines started to hammer against my metallic hood.

Hey, Jam, what are you doing?

He inserted on key to work on my door and quickly climbed inside me. And then he took the other key and started my ignition.

Woah! Hey, stop right there, buddy! Where do you think you’re taking me?!

But he was not hearing me. He drove me out of the HQ parking lot!

CARNAP! CARNAP! I’m being CARNAPPED!

Jam’s phone started ringing and he answered it.

“I got the car,” he said with a nervous sigh. He nodded his head. “Yeah, I know the place. I think we’ve been there once a few months ago. Yeah. Sure. Does Troy know I’ll be taking it there?”

Who are you talking to? Is it Dean? I could hear Dean’s voice from the other line!

Jam listened as Dean talked and said, “Sure. No problem. Everything for the groom and bride. But you think the boys will like this?” He listened some more and nodded. “Okay. Gotcha. No one will see Toto’s shadow until the wedding is over.”

WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU FREAKING…FREAKING…STUPID…UGH! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?!

He threw his phone to the passenger seat and drove me out of Lacson Street.

Jam, I promise you…you will regret this.

I can’t believe I was on your ship one year ago. I was ready to die for you to be with Georgie and now this?! And now you’re conspiring with the groom and his friends? Why? What did I do wrong?

He did not answer me. Instead, he said, “Hmm…now I see why the boys love you, Toto. You’re actually in a very good shape. And you’re quite comfortable.”

You get your ass off my seat, you sucker! I hate you—all of you! Wait ’til the boys know about this. YOU JUST FREAKING WAIT!

---

Dannie couldn’t understand the feeling of relief she felt when she saw Troy and the couple coming her way. The couple seemed happy and contented with their activity at other resort. Troy, though, looked tired with all his gears hanging around him. His hands were full and Dannie immediately went to help carry the tripod.

“You’re just in time for the sunset,” she told Fretzel.

The girl jumped with excitement and pulled her fiancé away to change clothes.

“I think the white will look better!” Troy called after them with a smile.

“How was the shoot?”

“Fun. That lady is crazy. She almost fell off the water trying to make a parody of the Titanic at the end of the boat. Good thing one of them has sense.”

Dannie chuckled. “Have you eaten?”

Troy leaned away from her and looked her up and down.

“What?”

“Please don’t take care of me too much. I might cling on to you for dear life once you leave.” He laughed when she made a motion of slapping his arm. “Let’s go to the top,” suggested. “I need to set these up before the couple arrives.”

“I’ve already been there,” she said but walked with him to the other islet anyway. “The view is fantastic.”

“Watch out for later,” Troy said with excitement.

Dannie realized what he meant when the sun started to set. The color of the sky mirrored on the still waters, creating a fusion of colors that made it difficult for her to distinguish which was which if not for the faint horizon in the distance.

The couple was fun to work with, wearing their own personalities in the shoot. They were both dressed in white, their expressions free of any worries, their happiness evident in the way they stared and laughed at each other.

Troy was not having a hard time at all. Dannie could actually see that he was having fun with the couple as well despite the lack of hand to help them. It was a very carefree photo shoot, one without all the drama of formality and staged acting. Troy suggested some angles and poses the couple could use, but most of the time, Dannie thought he was riding with the couple’s mood, taking as many candid shots as he could. He liked capturing motions as well and Fretzel enjoyed it, energetic that she was.

When they finally wrapped up the shoot, Troy turned to Dannie and said, “Ready to go home?”

The couple tried to make them stay just in time for dinner, but it seemed that Troy was in a hurry and Dannie wondered why.

“I just have to take care of something back in Bacolod,” he replied when she asked.

They said goodbye to Fretzel and Oozie and went back home to Bacolod.

Dannie wasn’t sure she was ready to go home yet. She was not sure why either. Maybe because they were too short with time unlike in Siquijor. She barely had time to talk with Troy and enjoy the place.

She mentally reminded herself that they were there for his job, not a vacation. They had already had Siquijor and they just spoiled the opportunity there. She was sorry to go back home but she did not share the feeling with Troy. He’d only either make fun of her or get sentimental again which would start another stressful conversation though she had a feeling he was trying to give her more space.

His phone kept ringing while they were driving but he did not answer any of the calls.

“It’s Jordan,” Dannie said when she could no longer take the noise and peered at his phone sitting on his dashboard.

“Don’t mind it.”

“I’ll answer it because it’s getting too noisy.” She grabbed the phone and took it to her ear.

“Why haven’t you been answering our calls?” Jordan asked before Dannie could even say hello. “By the way, Jam’s on his way. I hope you don’t mind.”

Dannie’s brows formed a line. “Jordan, this is Dannie. Troy can’t talk right now. He’s driving.”

She saw Troy gulp nervously but he kept his eyes on the road.

“Oh. Well, tell him—don’t worry about it. It can wait. I’ll call later,” Jordan said and then hung up.

“That’s odd,” Dannie commented, setting Troy’s phone back on the dashboard.

“What’s odd?”

“He said something about Jam being on his way and—” Dannie stopped when she heard Troy cuss under his breath. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just…it’s just about our clan. You know, the game?” His eyes did not leave the road as he spoke. She saw his jaw tighten. He gulped one more time.

“You’re lying. Or maybe you’re hiding something. What is it?”

“Nothing. It’s about the wedding.”

“And?”

“Nothing,” he said with a dry chuckle. “Don’t think too much about it. It’s just between us guys.”

“I don’t believe you, Troy.”

“Well, don’t ask if you know I’ll only be lying to you. I have an honor to keep among my friends.”

“We are friends.”

His blinked a few times and raised his shoulders. “Well, we’re really not friends if you know what I mean. We have a complicated friendship. Just don’t ask more questions and let me drive.”

“I better call—never mind. Jackie’s calling already,” she said as her phone started ringing too. Deep inside she knew that whatever Troy was hiding had something to do with her friends. “Jackie, what’s up? We’re on our way home.”

“Toto’s gone! He’s gone!”

Dannie straightened in her seat and she saw Troy did the same, flicking his eyes toward her for a second before focusing back on the road. “Toto’s gone?” she asked, her eyes on Troy. His did another gulp at the mention of Toto.

“They took him!”

“They?” Again, another gulp. Dannie’s lips pursed.

“The guys. I don’t know who really did it, but George and Jordan just found out Toto’s gone earlier and no one is saying anything! We know it’s them!”

“Who are they ?” Her eyes never left Troy and she saw him swallow big this time.

“The guys. Dean. Jordan. Troy. I don’t know who else. Maybe Lee and Miguel are in on it as well.”

“Why the hell would they take Toto?”

“Well, he’s going to be the—”

“Bridal car,” Dannie finished. “I’ll try to ask Troy if he knows something,” she said with all intention of making Troy understand what she intended to do.

“You better because I am about to crack an opening to hell right through where I am standing on right now,” Jackie uttered with a shaking voice.

Dannie hung up before she found out what George was up to at the moment.

She let the silence and the tension settle until Troy was obvious uncomfortable behind the wheel. And when she thought it was time, she cleared her throat and opened her mouth to speak.

“I really didn’t have any idea at first, okay?” Troy blurted out before a word escaped her mouth.

She raised her eyebrows. “You guys stole Toto.” There was no need end that statement with a question mark.

“Correction, Danica: I did not take any part in the planning whatsoever. I just got a call from Dean earlier that they had taken Toto and that they are taking him to somewhere.”

“Who took him? Jam? Jordan just said so a while ago.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t believe that guy took part in this.” She took a breath to calm herself. It was not time to put a lot of pressure on Troy since he was driving and it was already getting dark. “Where did he take Toto?” Troy was about to open his mouth but she stopped him by saying, “And I know you’re about to lie that you don’t know, but I know that you do so better tell me the truth now, Brady.”

He closed his mouth and shook his head. “I’ll tell you when we get back.”

“Now, Troy.”

“The farm. Our farm.”

“Out of town?! He went that far?” she cried in disbelief.

“Well, the groom is quite desperate to NOT have Toto as the bridal car.”

“Toto is our car. He’s been with us for a long time, of course we want him to be the bridal car! He was the one who chased after Jackie when that sick bastard, Brian, took her! And he’s been the one George takes with her whenever she had been having troubles! Toto knows a lot of George’s hiding place than Jackie and I do! And Toto has been taking me to church for the years we’ve had him. We drive him everywhere we go, whatever occasion in our lives. You can’t just take him away from us!”

Troy drove Tata to the side of the street and stopped. “Okay, calm down,” he said in a low voice. “I’m sorry, okay? We understand that you boys are attached to the car but the groom—”

“Here’s something I want to tell you right now, Troy. As far as I know, the bride will cancel the damn wedding if you don’t bring Toto back right now.”

Shock registered on Troy’s face.

“What?” Dannie shot at him.

“You just cursed.”

For a moment she was startled. “What? Of course I would! Bring Toto back now.”

“Jam’s already on his way to the farm, Danica,” Troy said.

Dannie thought for a while, gauging the situation. “We can’t go straight home because there will be a very angry bride when we get there.”

“I agree.”

“So you have to drive us to your family’s farm so I can take Toto back to Bacolod.”

Troy looked at his watch. “That’s another four-hour drive, Danica. It will be night time by the time we get back.”

“I don’t care. I’m calling the bride right and let her know that I’m going to rescue our car before she does something to the groom. And you tell your friend he better stay where he is until Toto’s back.”

Troy started to drive again, his shoulder dropping in defeat as Dannie made the call.

---

Jam left me to a familiar place.

BASTARD! I’ll kill you! I’ll run over you again and again until my tires burn out! I promise you that!

Naturally, he didn’t hear me and continued to walk to Nomad already parked a few meters away. So they had really planned this one. Great.

Does Brady know? Huh? Does he? Because I’ll forever curse him to his doom if he does! I cried after Jam as he sped off with Nomad who rumbled for forgiveness for his owner and then they were gone, leaving me alone in the cold night of Troy’s family’s farm.

It was too dark and I was getting scared. Not of monsters, but of my own thoughts. Being in a place that offered little distractions tend to give me a very emotional and sentimental feeling. I didn’t like it one bit.

Someone better come and rescue me before I drowned myself in self-pity!

That night, I was so angry I didn’t realize that the day after that would be something of a revelation not only for me but my rescuer. It might have been a very horrible day, but what followed was something promising.

Chapter 23

A piece of the past…

Her friends, Jackie and George, came by the hospital one Saturday with Troy, Lee and Miguel in tow, and most of them tried to cheer her up, most especially Troy who had been trying too hard, making Jackie and George roll their eyes. But Tessa seemed to enjoy Troy’s exaggerated storytelling so everyone gave him the floor. In return, Tessa told Troy of her new friends, some British missionaries who had been visiting the hospital.

Jackie and George were concerned how Dannie was doing but they couldn’t openly talk to her since her mother decided to lurk around. The way Jackie and George looked and talked to her, she was somehow grateful that the woman was there because she was not ready to tell her friends what had really been happening.

“Hey, you okay?” Troy asked when Tessa finally gave in and slept. Her medications had started to work and somehow, after everything that had happened to her, Dannie started to feel a little hope.

She looked up and saw Troy looking at her with worry. “Yeah,” she answered, nodding her head.

“Just don’t stress yourself too much,” he said, rumbling her hair before stepping away with a soft chuckle.

Jackie pushed a white envelop in her hands before they left and gave Dannie a hard stare even before she could refuse. Dannie just smiled at her friends with grateful eyes.

Her mother saw the exchange and immediately grabbed the envelop from her hand and counted the cash inside. The lady shook her head in disappointment. “I thought your friends are rich? This is not even enough for your sister’s medications. If you did not do what you did last time,” she said, throwing Dannie a look of ire, “we won’t even be here worrying about money.”

Dannie did not answer. She just stood up and walked away before she could say anything that would only cause her mother to freak out.

PRESENT DAY

“Can’t we just spend the night here and rest for a while?” Troy asked when they finally reached Bacolod.

Dannie turned her head and opened her mouth, about to protest, but she saw the tired look on his face. Slowly, her body responded to what she was thinking and she suddenly felt tired as well.

She returned her gaze on the road and sighed. “Okay. Let’s just go back to the apartment.”

“Thank you,” he said with relief.

“But you better be ready to face George and Jackie. They were really pissed the last time I talked to them.”

“I can face anything but more driving right now.”

“Let’s rest for now and then we’re going out to get Toto the very next morning.”

He did not answer. She waited.

“Troy. We’re going out to find Toto tomorrow morning.” It was an order.

“Okay,” he answered faintly.

---

Troy did not go to bed easily. George and Jackie made sure that he got the message. Jordan and Dean were there as well, both looking pissed. The war was still going on, obviously, but Dannie was too tired to even bother to try to talk to them.

Troy deserved some talking anyway, since he was obviously aware of the plan but did not do anything to stop it. Jordan and Dean were aware of what they had done but they were also both too proud to admit that what they did was wrong. Jam was nowhere to be seen and Dannie was willing to bet that he was away for the very same reasons she was thinking of.

Jackie wouldn’t stop nagging the boys until George stood up and joined in.

She announced that she would not be there at the wedding if Toto wouldn’t be there. Jackie seconded, making Dean cry out in disbelief. Jordan started talking about how George was being stubborn. The talk about stealing someone else’s property started until the topic went as far as going to the police station to file a complaint against the guys.

Dannie and Troy were the only ones who kept their silence, both too tired and hungry. Dannie fixed Troy and herself a simple dinner since their friends did not bother to have some after the mysterious case of Toto happened.

They even got to finish their dinner while the two couples continued with their bantering.

At one point, Jordan cried, “Well, then, if you can find Toto, you can use him for the wedding!”

“Is that a challenge?” Jackie and George shouted together.

“Yes!” Dean answered, his voice equally pissed.

It was only when George walked off to her bedroom and shut the door and Jordan followed her and went out later after getting kicked out that Jackie did the same. Dean, on the other hand, gave her space and did not follow. Dannie left the dishes for Troy to clean and went to her room, saying, “You better sleep early, Troy, because I am not having any more of these fights tomorrow because I don’t see the point in all this.”

Once inside her room, she fell on her bed and listened to the noise the guys were making outside. She wasn’t sure if any of them were going home that night, but she was hoping they’d stay. She was getting used to their presence and having not one of them sleeping in the living room wasn’t normal anymore.

She heard Troy tell the guys to calm down and that they had to do something to make up with Jackie and George tomorrow.

“You shouldn’t have done it in the first place, you now,” Troy also added with a yawn. “If there is anything you cannot touch where the boys are concerned, it’s Toto. Wrong move, guys. Wrong move.” Dean and Jordan did not say anything.

Dannie closed her eyes then.

---

I started to feel the impending doom as night eventually came and I was engulfed in darkness among the trees and the grass not far away from the empty farm house. The last time I was here, there was a party. Now, there was no one but the caretaker who had already gone to sleep.

When are the boys coming to get me? I wondered.

Would they even bother to get me?

The fear came at that point.

Yeah, what if they decided they could wait and that the guys were right? I would just be the laughingstock of the other cars and their owners during the wedding anyway. I am an old, beaten yellow Beetle Volkswagen and…and I’d have no permanent owner once the wedding was over.

Who would take me? Would I be among those cars that rotted the rest of their years in garages while the people who once loved them continued on with their lives—building more relationships and having their own families? Would I have to witness a lot of changes in the lives of my boys without being part of it? Would I be willing to stand by and watch as they got new cars?

I hated the thought but I knew it was possible.

The years I had spent with the boys seemed like a distant memory now. I should have known from the start that it would lead to this—that they would eventually have to separate and live their lives with others. They would eventually leave a lot of things behind that they once owed together and that included me.

Unless, by some miracle, someone would be willing to take me and care for me.

Oh my gas, I am starting to sound like a whining bitch right now.

I hated the feeling, but I couldn’t keep myself from worrying about myself as well. As much as I cared about my boys, I also cared about my own future, you know. I wanted to know for certain whether or now I’d be staying with one of them or not.

Why do I get the feeling that they are starting to forget me?

I wished one of my friends were there with me to give comfort. It would have been great. Vicky would be very sympathetic. She’d say a lot of good and positive things and I was missing her right now because of that.

But I was alone. And it was a different kind of alone.

---

When Dannie came out of her room the very next morning, Troy was still sleeping. Jordan and Dean were nowhere in sight. She assumed the two had already left for home to prepare for their work. She wasn’t very concerned about the couples because she knew how the fights would end up anyway. What she was concerned of was Toto. Yeah, sure, Toto was just a car, but he was a very sensitive part. And like her friends, she wanted him to be the bridal car. Toto deserved it. He had gained it!

She marched toward Troy’s sleeping form on the carpet floor of their living room and nudged his back with her toes. “Hey, Troy, wake up.”

“What?” he asked sleepily.

“We have to go now.”

He did not answer. Instead, he scooted away from her and kept on sleeping.

“Troy.”

“What?”

“We got to get Toto.”

“Later,” he answered.

Dannie decided she’d give him more time and went to make breakfast. George was the first to get out of her bedroom, her eyebrows still knitted together in a frown. She did not answer Dannie’s good morning greeting and went on to make her coffee.

Jackie came out next, her eyes swollen.

The three of them sat around the table in silence. They also ate their breakfast in the same volume until Dannie could no longer take it.

“I’ll go get Toto later,” she announced. “Since we all know where he is, I’ll get him. You guys have work and I have a lot of time.”

“That would be awesome,” Jackie said, trying to sound cheerful. “But I don’t want to see Dean right now. How could they think of that of Toto?” her eyes started to water once more.

George did not give any comment but muttered something like, “I’ll show Jordan what Toto can do, that bastard.”

---

When George and Jackie left, Dannie fussed over Troy who still seemed to be in no mood to leave the apartment. He was always like that after a project, she thought. In the past, though she didn’t have any idea of what went on in a photo shoot, she was always aware of what Troy was like after each of them. He’d always find a way to have a long rest as if he had gone to battle for months.

“Troy, we have to leave early,” she said for the nth time but he just kept on eating his breakfast in a lazy fashion. “Fine. If you’re not going to take me, I’ll find a way to take myself.”

He must not have heard her because he did not give any intense reaction other than stare at her with a lazy, lost look in his eyes.

Dannie got up from her seat and left Troy eating in the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Jam.”

“Jam?”

“Yes. Since he’s the one responsible for taking Toto to your farm, I’ll ask him to take me there himself.”

Suddenly, Troy was on his feet and the next thing Dannie knew, he was blocking her path to the front door. “You’re going to ask him to drive you to our farm?” he asked incredulously.

She nodded and looked at him innocently like it was the most natural thing to do.

“On his motorbike?” His brows were furrowed.

“Well, if there is no other mode of transportation…” she trailed off, walking around him to open the door.

“Okay, okay, I’ll take you there.”

“You’re probably tired. I’ll just ask Jam. He owes it to us.”

“No, no, you’re not asking that guy to drive you to our farm on his freaking motorbike. I’ll just finish my breakfast and we’ll take Tata.”

Dannie eyed him with doubt. “Are you sure? If you’re tired, I can just…”

“No. Jam’s probably busy. And you know that guy is as reckless as George. Who knows what’s going to happen if you ride on his motorbike. And plus, it might rain. I think the weather’s not going to be good.”

“The sky is clear outside.”

“You never know. Just get ready and we’ll go right away.”

Dannie gave in with a hidden smile and went to change.

---

“Let’s just stop by my house. I need a quick change,” Troy said half an hour later.

They entered Sta. Clara subdivision where he lived alone.

“Can you drop my by the chapel?” she asked.

He did not question her request and dropped her off the chapel saying he’d be quick and get back to her soon.

Dannie had always liked the chapel in Troy’s subdivision. It was a round chapel—small, intimate and cozy inside. But other than the chapel itself, she had fallen in love with the swamp the subdivision maintaining for as long as she could remember. There was a gazebo nearby and benches for people to relax in during any period of the day.

Today, the place was empty.

Dannie went inside the chapel to pray and walked to walk around the swap as she waited for Troy. The place was quiet, the sun gentle against her skin as heat was screened by the large Nara trees around the place. The constant sound of the frogs from the swamp kept her company and she amused herself looking at some of them swimming in a carefree manner. They didn’t have to worry about any danger. They knew they were home, in a place intended for them to live without threats.

She realized it was what she wanted to achieve.

She wanted to have a swamp of her own. The wonder of natural things growing around it despite being surrounded with things made by men and their own desires for comfort awakened a very unique feeling inside her. The swamp’s presence outside the chapel and in an expensive residential area gave an impression that it was out of place but not really at the same time. If you looked at it as a whole, with all the big houses and the chapel nearby, the swamp seemed out of place—the grasses were chaotic, the frogs too carefree, the noises too random—in such a well-maintained place. But as an individual, it was a sanctuary all on its own. It was amazing how it was even alive to this day.

It’s because it’s allowed to be here. Its difference has always been embraced.

Dannie longed for that. She longed to feel the belongingness despite having a different nature. Or maybe it had always been that way for her and she just never realized it until now. She had people around her—her friends—who had allowed her to grow the way she wanted without prejudice. No one had ever restricted her from anything. Everyone had always respected her difference. Her past didn’t matter to them. And maybe it shouldn’t matter to her either.

She walked away from the swamp with regret when she saw Tata approaching. She would have loved to stay a bit longer and just be at peace with herself, to ponder more on what she had just realized.

But she had Toto to go to and he needed some rescuing.

---

I was about to go crazy. Literally.

No one seemed to mind that a yellow Beetle Volkswagen was looking out of place. The caretaker obviously knew why I was there because he didn’t even bat an eye when he saw me. Nor did he approach me to see if I was intact.

I was about to wallow in self-pity all over again when I heard a very familiar sound approaching.

TATA!

Yep, it’s my friend, Tata coming to rescue me!

The dramatic mood I was in suddenly flew with the wind as I excitedly watched Troy maneuver my friend near me.

Dannie baby was the first to climb down and she immediately came to me with relief on her face.

But wait. She was walking toward me with a different aura around her.

It was like watching a perfume commercial on TV. The sun shining over her and her hair flying everywhere with the wind—AND that smile!

Hey, lady, who the hell are you? I asked.

She was freaking smiling like she had been…well, relieved from all weight of the world over her shoulders.

I shifted my gaze to Troy who was smiling all the same as he watched Dannie walk toward me, his gaze with a mixture of wonder and curiosity as well.

What have you done to her?

Dannie baby seemed oblivious though because she just kept on smiling.

I was willing to bet all the copper parts of my body that something had changed. SOMETHING definitely did because the person coming toward me was not the Dannie with the shitty past, but the Dannie with so much hope.

Okay, then, I guess I am very excited to know what’s going to happen next.

Chapter 24

A piece of the past…

“I saw Jesus in my sleep last night,” Tessa told her.

She didn’t know what to say other than, “Really?”

Her sister nodded with a faint smile on her lips. “He said he’s going to take me to a great place.”

Dannie felt the tears coming. She wanted to tell Tessa the truth but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Everything’s going to be great from today onwards,” she promised her sister.

The very next day, Dannie and her mother packed Tessa’s belongings and left the hospital for good.

The ache she felt in her heart couldn’t be compared to anything she had been through. What she lost during her hotel visits couldn’t be compared to that day.

The question of whether she could have done more would forever be a shadow in her life.

PRESENT DAY

The smile on her face was enlightening. It was like I was on my dying moment and I was seeing an illusion of something peaceful—something promising.

I couldn’t help it, but that was what I felt while Dannie baby took the final steps toward me. Her gentle hands planted themselves on my hood and I was suddenly energized, ready to know more—to find out more—about the reasons of this sudden change in her aura.

My headlights went over to where Troy was standing and I almost snorted. It couldn’t be entirely because of him, right? That would be horrendous! Huh! No way! That guy may have played a part, but not that much, right?

“Don’t look so happy seeing that old thing,” Troy said as he walked toward us.

OLD?! Who’s OLD?!

“I’m just glad he’s still intact,” Dannie uttered with a chuckle, giving me a pat before she turned to face Troy. “Shall we go home now?”

Troy took a deep breath and sighed. “Danica, I’m beat. Seriously beat. Can’t we just spend at least a day here before we head back home?”

To my uttermost surprise, to Troy’s, Dannie baby just shrugged and said, “Okay. That’s fine with me. What are we having for lunch?”

She walked away from us and to the house, her steps light and…happy?

Troy scratched his head with an amused look on his face. And then he turned to me and said, “We should carnap you more often, buddy.”

SHUT UP, BRADY!

He followed her to the house and I wondered about what would happen next. I was not against staying overnight any more than I was yesterday because at that very moment, I wanted to see something unfurl.

---

Dannie ordered Troy to call the bride and to tell her Toto was safe and would be delivered the following day. After learning that she and Troy would be spending the night at the farm, her friends demanded to talk to her.

“Yes, it’s true,” Dannie said, looking over at Troy who was trying to find something inside the fridge. “No, he did not force me.” At that, Troy jumped to his feet and rushed to her side.

“Tell them you readily said yes,” he urged.

She brushed him aside and listened to what Jackie was saying. “Yeah, we’ll go back home tomorrow. Yes, I won’t let him take me anywhere.”

“Why do you guys always have to do this?” Jackie demanded.

“What does Brady feed you, huh? You’re suddenly always with him,” George added.

“Goodbye, guys. Toto is fine and we’re fine and we’re going home tomorrow,” Dannie said with feigned annoyance.

“As promised, “ Troy iterated with his mouth near the phone. “I’ll get her home as promised!” he shouted before Dannie ended the call.

“Let’s eat,” she said, stepping away from Troy. “You cook while I go around outside.”

“You’re going around?” he asked as if he didn’t understand what he heard.

“Yes. And I am going to take my time.” She lifted her head and smiled at him before walking away. She knew she seemed weird to him, but she couldn’t help it.

After that visit in the swamp, she thought she had finally found what she was looking for. Not entirely, of course, but she was getting there and it was exciting. Who would have thought that of all things, a swamp would clear things up for her?

As she walked out of the house, she was suddenly greeted with the strong wind. The sun was bright today and the wind was quite strong, considering the farm was surrounded by trees. Troy and his parents owned hectares of sugarcane land. The said grasses were almost ready for harvest. Dannie could hear their leaves rustle with the trees and she marveled at the natural sound around her. She let her feet guide her to nowhere in particular as her thoughts drifted back and forth to her past and the present.

She could no longer change what had happened to her before, nor could she change the people who had hurt her the most. But she could change the now. She could change where she’d go from her and it would be entirely up to her. No one would force her into doing something she didn’t want to. No one would be there to order her to give up anything she held dear. The now was all hers.

It was something she never really thought of or embraced because it scared her. As much as she hated how her parents had controlled her life in the past, she couldn’t help but think that she had also let them control most of her life after everything was over—after Tessa left. The scars they left had been guiding her life, keeping her away from something that could be promising.

Sister Odette was right. There was something more to the life outside that she hadn’t experienced before.

And Dannie thought she wanted to experience them. It would start now, today, at this very moment.

---

They decided to have a beer outside where the sky was clear and the stars were visible, where the air was cool and the trees gentle. Troy opened Tata’s back and they both sat on my pick-up friend’s rear, their legs dangling and dancing with the tall grasses underneath.

Tata and I were silent as the two of them talked about anything under the…uh, well, moon. It was night time, anyway. They had gathered a lot of fun stories together that I almost felt a bit envious that I was not a witness to most of them.

“Do you remember that time in science class when we were asked to dissect a frog?” Troy asked, already laughing at the thought.

Dannie vigorously nodded her head and bent over in soundless laughter at the thought.

“I’ve never seen you guys run that fast ever,” Dannie uttered in between laughter. Her eyes were almost watery and I was about to tear up with gas with the fact that they were happy tears, not I-cry-because-of-my-past kind of tears.

“Hey, in my defense, I did not run.”

“Oh, you didn’t jump on that table when your frog suddenly unpinned itself from the pan and jumped off the tray?” Dannie asked.

“Hey, anyone would gross out seeing that frog jumping all over the place with its innards out in the open!” Troy cried out, the horrible memory clearly painted on his face.

Dannie laughed again. “Good thing we had George.”

Troy nodded and tipped his bottle toward Dannie’s. “To George who caught the frog.”

“And to Lee who patted Miguel while he vomited outside the laboratory door.”

Troy broke into a fit of laughter as he remembered that scene. “And to our teacher who ordered you and Jackie to take him to the clinic.”

They let their laughter die down before they opened up another topic. “And there was also that time when you guys used to call us Mudbloods.”

“Ahh…yes,” Troy said, his eyes glinting with the memory. “Because we were the pure bloods.”

“Harry Potter was such a big thing back then, wasn’t it?”

“It still is,” he said. “And so were those Taiwanese dramas.”

“Oh gosh, yes. Meteor Garden.”

Troy shivered at the thought. “I can’t believe those outfits and hairstyles were so in back then.”

Dannie laughed. “You copied the main guy’s hair! Don’t deny it!”

“Only for a week! Come on, I was wise enough to realize early that I looked stupid as hell!”

I had never seen Dannie baby laugh that hard before. “And did you remember that time when we all had to do the flag ceremony every day for a week in front of all the students?” Dannie asked.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Troy said.

“It was your fault! If you did not throw that thing toward our teacher, it would not have happened!”

“That thing was just this small,” he said, his fingers forming an invisible ball the size of a pea.

“You threw it anyway,” Dannie said.

“I threw it to the direction of the blackboard. Who would have thought she’d turn around just in time for that thing to land right into—”

“Her bust,” Dannie finished for him with another round of laughter. “You were so lucky she did not see you.”

“I was so lucky you did not tell her,” he said with a wink.

“And because of that, we all had to suffer for a week.”

“And made great memories.”

“Yeah, we did. Some of them are even forever printed on our yearbook.”

“What do you mean?” Troy asked.

“Don’t act as if you don’t know,” Dannie shot at him. “If you open our yearbook, you, Miguel and Lee are in almost all of the photos of everyone. You’re hiding and poking your heads behind the background trees of students’ individual photos! You were even in mine and nobody realized it until the yearbook was out!”

Troy was no longer listening because he was bent over his knees in laughter, his shoulders shaking. He was trying hard to catch his breath.

“The three of you were hiding behind a statue on my individual shot,” Dannie accused.

“The photographer became my mentor, you know that?” Troy asked when he finally caught his breath.

“Of course he would be! He knew all along and didn’t say a word!”

They talked a lot about almost everything else during their student days. College wasn’t missed either and everything would have been very happy if they didn’t talk about it.

It actually started as an innocent question, you know. I wouldn’t blame Troy and I wouldn’t blame Dannie baby either. It was just really an honest question.

“Do you miss her a lot?” asked Troy, his smile was still there but it didn’t reach his eyes.

By look on Dannie baby’s face, she knew what he was talking about. I thought she’d freak out or something, but she didn’t do that. She just took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Yeah, every minute whenever I am alone.”

“Does it still hurt?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I just want to believe that she’s in a much better place.”

Troy turned to her and grabbed her hand in his. He gave it a squeeze. “I am sure she is.”

A different kind of tension suddenly developed. Not the sexual kind, if that was what you were thinking. It was the bad one that I didn’t even want to think about. And I was sure Troy didn’t either. But it was Dannie who opened it up.

“Troy, I want to tell you something,” she said.

“No,” Troy said even before she finished her statement. “No, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. You don’t have to feel obliged to tell me something I don’t know just because you feel you have to.”

Dannie baby was shaking her head. This time, it was her who gave his hand a squeeze. “No. I want to tell you because I want you to know everything about me. Just like how you know everything about the good times we had, I want you to know the dark ones as well.”

Troy suddenly looked worried. “You’re not going to tell me because you wish it will make me love you less, are you?”

Dannie chuckled. “A part of me wishes that to happen but that’s not it. I just want to tell you.”

“I don’t think I want to know, Danica.”

“Because you don’t think you can handle my dark past?”

He shook his head. “No. Because I don’t think I can learn how to forgive whoever caused it.”

Dannie baby squeezed Troy’s hand again. “You don’t have to judge anyone. Let me just tell you because it will help me heal.”

Troy did not say anything. I was not sure I wanted Dannie baby to tell him because I was not sure what Troy was capable of doing after he learned about her past.

But she told him anyway.

Chapter 25

A piece of the past…

George and Jackie found her inside the chapel alone and crying.

Her friends silently sat beside her, Jackie at her right and George at her left. And Jackie started crying too. George followed. They sat there crying until the bell rang. Not one of them moved, not an inch.

And then Dannie started talking. She told them everything that had happened to her, everything her parents did to her. And she told them about Tessa.

PRESENT DAY

Tears were streaming down Dannie baby’s face and I wanted to wipe them off with my squeaking wipers so bad. But I could no longer see that she was hurting as much as before. Yes, there were the tears, but it seemed that they were not part of her anymore. It was like she had learned how to accept the hurt and the pain and she was getting good at it.

What I couldn’t fathom to see though was Troy’s expression. When he finally learned and confirmed what her father had done to her, his face was too stern that I didn’t even want to know what he was even thinking. It was like watching a boiling volcanic crater.

But there was more. And I was certain he was not ready to hear them because the moment Dannie told him about her hotel visits and how her mother sold her to different men after her husband was sent to prison, Troy pulled his hand away from Dannie, too swiftly that I thought he was about to hit her or something, and jumped off Tata’s rear end. His hands were on his hips, his head bent, his face dark, and his steps without direction as he circled around the grassy ground.

A whimper escaped Dannie baby’s lips as she watched Troy try to control himself and she covered her mouth with her hands. She was hurting with him and I could feel every bit of emotion from the both of them. Dannie seemed to be emptying herself of the pain after she told him and Troy was trying hard not to be consumed with anger as he paced around, his breathing heavier by the second.

“Goddammit, Danica, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in a whisper. I saw something glittery fall from his eyes. Shit, he’s crying. It was dark, but the light of the moon caught the tears as they fell straight from his eyes. He did not even bother to wipe them away as he repeated his question a bit louder. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was shook with anger. I could see the crater boiling to its maximum.

Dannie didn’t answer his question for a while. She waited until her sobs subsided before she said, “I don’t want you to feel angry because—”

“The fuck I am angry!” Troy’s cry rang out in the silence around us, making Dannie flinch. He kicked Tata’s back wheel and cried out in anger. My poor friend just sort of give an engine kind of whimper but I hope she understood her owner’s pain. “The fuck it’s the first time I want to literally strangle someone with my bare hands and—” It was dark but I could see Troy’s face turn red with anger as he scrunch his fingers before him, probably imagining an invisible neck in his hands. “Fuck!” he shouted once more and Dannie baby flinched again as she stayed in her spot with tears silently but slowly falling down her cheeks.

Troy saw and he immediately relaxed and walked in front of her where she sat, her legs dangling in the air. He took her face in his hands and cried in front of her like a real man that he was. His shoulders started shaking as he pulled her head toward him and planted his lips on her forehead. His action caused Dannie baby to cry harder. Her hands came up to hold his arms.

Troy was not a good crier. He cried with all his heart and he did not even bother to muffle the sounds. He sniffed and sobbed, pulling Dannie baby closer toward him. He whimpered and groaned in pain. He buried his face in her hair. She clung unto his shoulders as they waited for the tears to stop.

“Did anyone ever say sorry to you?” The pained question was muffled because his face was still buried in the crook of her neck. Dannie stifled another cry. “Did anyone ever say they’re sorry?!” he shouted the question, his voice fierce and etched with agony.

Troy finally lifted his head away from her hair and cradled her head close to his heart. He took a deep breath and whispered incoherent words to her.

The sight would have made me whine like crazy because it was too dramatic for my taste, but they needed that moment together. They were both going through a different kind of healing together and I would not have interrupted it for the world. The two of them were in their own bubble, too delicate to disturb.

Troy eventually simmered down and Dannie’s tears finally came to an end. He was still standing before her while she sat on Tata’s open rear door. Her cheek was resting against his chest, his arms around her shoulders, more to calm him down than to give her comfort, I thought. He leaned away from her and tenderly looked down at her. His weak smile did not convince me he was over what happened though. Wiping the traces of tears away from her cheeks, he whispered, “I don’t make a lot of promises, but I promise you one thing tonight, Danica. You will never go through that kind of pain again—not over my dead body, not ever. I’ll take all the pain away whether or not you’ll have me. I’ll make sure I’ll take them away.” His voice broke at the last sentence. She closed her eyes as his thumbs caressed her face. “Oh, baby, please don’t cry,” he groaned when her tears started flowing again. Her hands held on to his wrists, keeping his hands in place.

“I can’t help the tears. You started it. I was done crying,” she sobbed.

Troy did not answer but planted his lips on her forehead once more. Then he kissed her wet eyelids. Then both her cheeks. I was holding my freaking breath with anticipation as Troy’s lips hovered over Dannie’s. His eyes were looking down at her. He was trying to decide whether it was okay or not. Well, I was okay with it. Hell, they could do anything they wanted that night and I would not have given a freaking care.

And he did just as what I had expected.

His mouth descended down toward hers and for a moment, their lips just did that butterfly touch kind of kiss. And when no resistance came from her, Troy my boy braved himself and went deeper, his hands on both sides of her face and hers holding on to his wrists. She could have pulled and he would have stopped, I was sure of that. But she did not do that. Instead, Dannie baby closed her eyes and a single tear rolled down her cheeks and that was the last I saw of her tears that night.

He actually stopped it. Unbelievable, right? Well, he did it after almost forever on my part. I was about to yawn and say goodbye to my friend Tata who still suffered an aching tire. Troy Brady actually ended the kiss himself. And what he said after made my engines snort. “Again, Danica, I am not sorry.”

I half-expected Dannie baby to push him away and run toward me to drive me back home to Bacolod where we would be safe and away from Troy. That did not happen. She gently pushed him away, yes, but only to hop off from where she was sitting. “It’s been a long night. I’ll go to bed first.”

Troy actually—and literally—turned to me with shock in his eyes. I KNOW, RIGHT?

No crying about someone stealing her kiss from her? No crying about betraying the Lord? No crying? NO CRYING AND RUNNING AWAY?

Hey, Troy my boy, I gotta say this is way better than Siquijor. Good job!

But Troy was no longer listening to me. Gone was his amused look just a few seconds ago. The anger and the frustration from earlier was clearly coating his face once more. He jumped right back on Tata’s rear door and gulped down the remaining of his beer. Dannie baby had disappeared into the house, probably to bury her face in a pillow after that kiss. Troy was staring at an open air, his mind probably wandering to different things altogether.

Troy accompanied me for most of the night. He was silent but very much awake. I could still feel the anger boiling inside him when he decided to retire back inside to catch some sleep. Tata did not even say a word. She was busy crying over Dannie baby’s past and her aching wheel.

I, on the other hand, was eager to find out how the two of them would deal with the aftermath in a few hours when the sun came up.

---

And the sun did come up with a lot of surprises the next day.

First, I was in a fairly good mood even after all the drama last night. I didn’t know why, but I just felt like I was. I couldn’t explain it, really.

Second, well, Troy did give Tata and I a good, cool bath. If anyone thought it weird, let me just remind you that Tata and I are non-CARnal friends. And, hello, what else could we hide, right? Other than the fact that my friend had better high-end stuff inside her, we were pretty much the same in general.

Third and my most favorite, Dannie walked out of the house looking fresh and well-rested. Someone had a nice sleep, last night! Troy, on the other hand, tried to be very optimistic though it was obvious he was still bothered about what Dannie baby shared to him last night. I just hoped her mother do not show up in front of Troy again because I was not sure what he would do to the woman.

“Ready?” Dannie asked when Troy finally finished drying me up.

“Yeah, just a sec,” Troy answered, walking away from me. “I’ll just need to transfer a few stuff from Tata.”

Dannie baby frowned. “You’re leaving Tata behind?”

“I’ll have someone deliver her to Bacolod this afternoon or tomorrow.” He held up his hand before Dannie baby could object. “You are not driving alone today, Danica.”

Minutes later, I was comforting Tata. Staying overnight in this place isn’t such a bad thing, you know. You’ll think a lot about your future and it can be very enlightening, I assured her, though I was not sure if I sounded convincing.

After lunch, Troy and Dannie baby were back on the road with me and Tata, my poor friend, was left to suffer. How I wish I could have told her that, but I am a good car-friend. She better pray to her holy makers that she could go home this afternoon or she’d wallow in depression tonight. The farm was only fun with other people around. Alone, eh!

Once we reached Bacolod, Dannie baby called the bride who was still angry over what happened. She was actually able to take her revenge and I was not even interested how she did it, crazy that she was.

Troy and Dannie baby stopped by the old airport which was sometimes open for visitors. Troy managed to convince the guard that they would not go further than the parking lot. The old trees that lined the lot were still there and I still remembered a few remnants of memories with my old owners in this place before the airport was transferred to Silay City. It was such a small airport that you could literally see the passengers climbing up and down the plane from the parking lot.

I knew why we were there. Dannie baby would sometimes drive by the old airport, but not enter the gates. She would just stare at the empty runway and then we would be off.

“Where do you think she is now?” Troy asked, his arms folded under his head as he stretched his legs in my driver seat.

Dannie baby had opened my window and was resting her arm over it, her chin buried in the crook of her arm. She gazed at the isolated runway ahead. Once it had been busy with domestic planes, now, apart from the occasional car races, it was empty with no trace of people coming to and from different places. “I don’t know. As I’ve said, I always wish she’s in a wonderful place.”

“You know, ever since Tessa left, I worried about her for years. How she must have felt, how she coped with the longing. I just never told you that because I knew you were blaming yourself.”

“I kept asking myself if what we did was right. Was I bad to let my mother hand her over to those missionaries?”

“No,” Troy said, unclasping his one hand away from the other to reach out to touch her shoulder. “They offered her the best chance to recover. The worst you could have done was to let your sister grow up around that woman.”

I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t refer to that woman as anyone’s mother. She didn’t deserve it in the first place.

Dannie baby wiped away a single tear. “I just hope she understood. And sometimes I hope that she learned to forget about me—about us. If she had ever survived, I wanted her to claim a new life.”

“Do you want to find her?”

Moron! If Dannie wanted to find her sister, she would have done that a long time ago! Dannie baby shook her head. “I never asked my mother. I never asked anyone. If I wanted Tessa to have a new life, I had to let go of her. She wouldn’t have been able to start a new life if we were still clinging on to her.”

“What if—”

Dannie shook her head. “No. I told the missionaries who took her that they shouldn’t return. It was a no-return-no-exchange deal.” Her voice was full of conviction. I couldn’t imagine a high school girl like Dannie baby making such a big decision like that. But then again, she was not like any girls. She had been through a lot and she would have given anything for her sister—even if it meant their memories and time together.

Chapter 26

A piece of the past…

The day she left home was the moment she finally gathered the courage to stand up against her mother. Jackie and his parents readily agreed to take her in. Her friends wouldn’t allow her to stay one more day in that house with the woman who called herself Dannie’s mother.

They had to be honest with Jackie’s parents as well. Jackie’s dad, Joseph, was more than horrified and angry that he told Dannie he had to report her mother to the proper authorities. Jackie mother cried and wouldn’t let go of Dannie until Jackie’s younger sister came home from school and she had to be a mother again.

The next days that followed was fast. A lot of things happened that Dannie barely had time to cope. Seeing Jackie’s parents fight her fight for her gave her a sense of what a family should be. They made sure that the trial against her mother was kept out of public to protect Dannie’s privacy. Jackie’s father even stood outside the courtroom door to make sure that no one with a pen, paper and camera could enter.

The hardest part was to testify against her mother.

A big part of her didn’t want things to end up the way they did, but whenever she thought of how things went for her and Tessa, she knew she was doing the right thing. When her mother was found guilty, she shouted at Dannie with rage, saying she regretted having them in the first place. She told Dannie in more ways than one how her children were the reason for her sufferings.

That was enough confirmation to her that she made the right choice. No one outside of that courtroom ever knew about it—not the school, not her other friends other than Jackie and George.

PRESENT DAY

After the airport, they decided to stop by for some brewed coffee at Sanders before going home to the apartment. They both needed a strong dose of caffeine if they wanted to survive the battle going on back there.

For Dannie, it was also her way to sort her thoughts and feelings. Her mind and heart were telling her different things. She needed more time away from the wedding drama. Troy offered the best company at the moment.

She found it funny though that he apparently became her source of comfort after all their years of bantering. He was always a friend to her and she couldn’t deny that, despite how he had been such a pain in the ass in the past.

“What?” she asked with smile after taking a sip from her cup and caught him staring at her.

“Something changed. I just know it.” The surprising thing for her was that he did not say it with a smug look on his face. He said it like he was talking about the weather outside.

She just shrugged her shoulders and leaned against her seat and slouched. She rarely did that in public because she thought she always had to show the best side of her all the time, probably as façade to mask any traces of her past. But now, she was doing it because she felt like lazing around. She had realized that most of the people around didn’t even care and those who did have no hold on her. She was free to do whatever she wanted.

When he continued to just stare at her with amusement, she chuckled and said, “I was honestly expecting you to make a long speech about why I should choose you and the outside world over the convent.”

His brows raised in wonder. “You did?” He shook his head after she answered with a nod. “Danica, I can tell you a long narrative of how I can share with you the happy moments of my past to help you forget yours.” He was smiling at her without any hint of pain. He played with his cup as he continued, “I can make a long list of how I can definitely create more good ones for the future if you’ll let me.” He paused to look at her and let her know that what he was saying was the truth. “But I won’t, because I won’t beg though I wanted to weeks ago. I realized I don’t want to wonder in the future whether or not you stayed because I went down on my knees for you to stay. I don’t want you to feel you need me either because I want my woman to be with me because she wants to, not because she needs me. Likewise, I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who needs me to need her.” She watched him take a breath and leaned against his chair to mirror her position. “If you stay, you stay. But it will not be entirely because of me and my promises. It will be because you see more possibility of happiness here with us .”

Dannie smiled at him, her eyes brimming with tears.

Seeing her state, he suddenly pushed himself forward to lean over the table. “Come on, Danica, you can’t cry now,” he whispered. “They know us here and they will think that Troy Brady made a woman cry again. And it’s his freaking friend this time. Come on, don’t cry. I know my words were touching and all, but you’ve shed enough tears to give them merit.”

She hastily wiped her eyes dry with the table napkin and sniffed. “I just didn’t realize you are capable of thinking that deep.”

His face fell with disappointment and he pushed away from the table with a sigh. “Why do people think I am that shallow?”

Dannie chuckled. “You never showed a lot of people this side of you, you know.”

“Because I don’t find any reason why I should let others see this side of me.” His words were full of meaning that she just laughed it off. Deep inside, she was grateful she was one of the few who had the chance to see this side of Troy Brady.

Just as they were about to finish their coffees, Miguel and Lee entered the café and saw them. “Where the hell have the two of you been?” asked Lee, taking a seat beside Troy. Miguel took the one beside Dannie and called for the waiter. “Nice to bump into the two of you. This is your treat, right?” Miguel asked Troy.

“Why would I treat the two of you? No one invited you to join us in the first place,” Troy rolled his eyes at his friend.

“Still, you owe us,” Lee said.

“And why is that?”

“You won’t tell us what happened that night we got drunk,” Miguel answered.

“You pissed the hell out of me. That’s answer enough.”

“Well, we would say sorry if we know what we did, right?” Lee said, looking at Miguel with innocence.

“I’ll treat you if you say sorry now,” Troy said.

“SORRY,” the two men said in unison.

Dannie observed the exchange with amusement. “Are you guys ready for the wedding?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course. Which reminds me,” Miguel said, looking at Troy. “The groom asked when the pre-nuptial shoot is. The wedding’s in a few days and they want it soonest.”

Troy looked at Dannie and sighed. “Guess we have to stay here a bit more. I don’t think I want to go back to your apartment and face this thing.”

Dannie shrugged. “We can stay as long as we want.”

---

What they went home to after two more hours was not a mess, but silence.

Jackie, George, Jordan and Dean were there but they were not fighting. And they were not talking either.

But the moment Troy and Dannie entered the door they all jumped to their feet and asked if Toto was okay. Dean and Jordan walked out the door to check Toto. Jam must have heard the commotion outside and went out his own apartment to join the guys.

Troy collected everyone and forced them to face George, Jackie and Dannie.

They all awkwardly said sorry. Jam was sorrier than everyone else because he was the one who took Toto. George and Jackie just nodded their heads in acceptance of their apologies.

“But the wedding is still on, right?” Troy asked, faking enthusiasm. He was obviously tired.

“Of course,” George snapped. “Everything was almost ready before you guys decided to carnap our car.”

“We said, sorry, didn’t we?” Jordan said.

“Let us sleep on it. You all go home now and leave us in peace with our car,” Jackie said.

“I don’t have Tata,” Troy said.

“Either of these two can drive you home,” George said, pointing at Jordan and Dean. Jam had slowly crept back inside his apartment after apologizing.

The men sighed and went to their respective cars. Troy tagged along Jordan who offered to take him home.

“Drive safe! One more incident from all of you and the wedding’s off,” the bride shouted at them.

Dannie just chuckled in amusement and walked back inside the apartment.

“Now, you have to tell us what happened,” Jackie said with excitement once the door has been locked and it was just the three of them.

“And don’t say nothing happened,” George said dryly.

Dannie went to the kitchen and checked the table for food. “Did you guys leave me dinner?”

“There’s some left,” Jackie said. “Now, stop changing the subject and tell us everything.” Her friends followed her around the kitchen, eager for news.

“There’s nothing much to tell.”

“Dannie, you’ve ran to the opposite part of the province and hopped to an island with Troy Brady. You went with him to Sipalay for his work. And then you spent another night with him at his family’s farm out of town,” Jackie recounted and looked at her pointedly. “You cannot just say ‘there’s nothing much to tell’ and expect us to accept that.”

Dannie looked at her and then at George helplessly. “What do you want me to say?”

Her friends looked at each other and back at her. They both shrugged and said, “Anything!”

She thought of a way to make them shut up but none came to mind. “We kissed,” she said simply as if it was as normal as her eating dinner.

“You did what?!” her friends cried out and moved closer until they were hovering over her.

“You heard me,” she uttered, scooping rice into her plate. “Who cooked this?”

They did not answer. They waited until she looked up to them and sighed.

“What?” she asked.

Jackie crossed her arms over her chest. “Danica Grace Berlin.”

Dannie snorted. “What?”

“What has gotten into you?” George asked with curiosity. A faint smile on her lips showed her amusement.

“Nothing. I am just sort of starting to figure out what I really want,” she answered honestly.

Their eyes widened in surprise. “You’ve made your decision?” Jackie cried out.

“Oh god, what had Brady done to you?” George asked at the same time.

“I didn’t say I made a final decision. I’m just trying to be open to changes and that includes eating dinner while my friends pester me about my activities.”

“I don’t know if I should be happy about this or not,” George said.

“Me too,” Jackie seconded, nodding her head.

“And I told Troy everything.”

They gasped and their jaws dropped in surprise. “The world must be coming to an end,” George groaned as she turned away to cover her face with her hand.

“You told him. Like everything? You told him everything?” Jackie asked, grasping Dannie’s hand to stop her from eating.

“Yes. Please, Jackie, I want to eat.”

“What did he say? How did he react?” George had gone back to stand beside Jackie.

“He was really angry.”

“And?” Jackie asked.

“I don’t know if I should say this but can you guys keep this a secret?” she asked. Her friends were already nodding their heads before she even finished. Dannie hesitated. “Well, he was really angry and he cried.”

The two of them stood without moving or breathing for a few moments before they both broke into laughter. “I’m sorry,” Jackie said, holding her hand between laughter. “I should be serious at this moment…”

George supported her weight on the table as she laughed. “I can’t picture that scene and not laugh, I’m sorry,” she said before she laughed soundlessly.

“Can I eat my dinner in peace now?”

“How did he cry? Like a child or you know, just…I’m sorry, I can’t take it,” Jackie said, her eyes watery now.

“If you are making fun of him, I better get to sleep now,” Dannie said, her tone more serious.

“Okay, okay, we’re sorry,” George said as she tried to bring back her composure.

Dannie shook her head but kept her lips sealed. She was not pissed that her friends were reacting that way. She actually missed their laughter. They had been through a lot in the past. They had shared a lot of laughter and tears together.

She just realized that she missed it—all of it. And maybe they were right. The world had a lot of things in store for her, both good and bad. She’d just have to accept that she had to have both or nothing at all.

Chapter 27

A piece of the past…

As their graduation day neared, everyone at school was aware that Dannie had been adopted by the sisters. She didn’t want to burden Jackie’s parents though they offered to keep her. She didn’t have any relatives to go to. So when the sisters offered their doors to her, she accepted.

What circulated around was that her parents were imprisoned for drugs and abuse. None knew other than Jackie and George about the real story.

Dannie managed to continue on with her scholarship for college and right after graduation she made plans for her future. She promised she’d try her best to recover from everything that happened to her. She vowed to forget everything except Tessa.

Her sister will always be a part of her life wherever she might be now. Every night, she prayed that her sister was well and happy. Living under the same sky was enough reassurance for Dannie.

PRESENT DAY

Things started to move fast three days before the wedding.

The bride and groom were rushed by Troy to different locations of their childhood to have their pre-nuptial shoot.

Dannie baby also became too busy to even think about what she’d do after the wedding. She’d have to go back to the convent soon and the question that ran at the back of everybody’s mind, including my metallic one, was: WILL SHE GO BACK?

No one dared talk about it. No one really had the time.

I was even busy getting pampered as well to even really and deeply think about it. The men, after what they did to me, tried their best to make up.

Like I will ever forgive you! I shouted at them when they all looked at me with their hands on their waists. They planned on taking me to a professional car wash but their faces told me that they would rather drive me back to the farm and leave me there to rust.

One hour later, we were buddies again. They took me to this AMAZING place where I got a proper shower, experienced the smoothest sponge, got waxed and wiped squeaky clean. And oh, yes, of course I was vacuumed until all remnants of any human dead skin cells were gone.

Did I tell you guys how much I love you? You all deserve my boys! I howled at the top of my engine, wishing Dean, Jordan and Troy could hear me.

They did not talk about Troy and Dannie either. They just talked about married life and their plans for the future, especially the groom who seemed eager to start a family.

Please, I am not ready to deal with kids yet. My poor leather seats! They would be full of baby vomit! And let’s not talk about the tiny shoeprints! And how UN-cool would I look like to have a baby seat at the backseat? No vic would throw me a second glance!

After a bottle of beer each, they delivered me back to the apartment as PROMISED. The groom had to go home early because their families insisted that he had to NOT see the bride before the wedding.

My boys then took me to the usual spot, the abandoned and unfinished mall, before we went to the hotel where they would stay before the wedding.

“The day after tomorrow is going to be a big change,” Jackie girl said her voice mournful and excited at the same time.

“It’s not going to be the same, I guess,” Dannie baby whispered against the wind.

“It’s not like we are all going away, you know,” Georgie contradicted. “It’s just like when Dannie went away for a year to the convent. And those months when you went on a vacation after the Brian incident,” she said to Jackie.

“Exactly. Things had changed since then, right?” Jackie said. “A lot has happened. We made a lot of changes.”

“We cannot possibly live together forever, can we?” Dannie baby asked. “We cannot just expect to be together like we have been doing for years. But even though there are changes, I just hope that they are for the better.”

Jackie girl was the first to shed tears. “I just hope that we don’t lose each other. I don’t think I can live without the two of you. I just can’t picture my life without you.” I feared that she’d start wailing but that did not happen. Dannie baby’s tears came next and then Georgie, though she rarely cried, started sobbing as well.

Why does it seem like you guys are saying goodbye? It’s not like you are all going away for good, right?!

They wrapped their arms around each other and sniffed and cried under the night sky, the wind blowing their hair around.

My engine ached for them. The times they spent together flashed across my mind. I had been a witness to the most normal and crazy things they did together; from shopping for groceries to drunk driving and even falling in love; from crazy stalkers to love-crazed men; from safe to dangerous road trips;

There were a lot of things with them together and most of the time I was part of it. Right now, despite my fear of being left forgotten, I wanted my boys more to have the best changes in life. I wanted them to have the best because they deserved it. And if possible, I wanted them to experience those changes together most of the time. They didn’t have to be with each other 24-7, they just had to be there whenever they could.

In that moment, as the three of them cried in sadness and happiness that tomorrow would bring, I didn’t care about my fate. In the future, wherever I may be, I would be happy knowing that the three women I loved the most were happy.

We all went to the hotel to rest. The wedding tomorrow would be bittersweet for my boys, but no one was going to it from happening.

---

The small church was packed. That was what the bride wanted in the first place, Dannie thought.

Her friend didn’t want to have a wedding with half part of the church empty. She wanted an intimate one with just very close friends and family. No other guests who were never a witness to how she and the groom got together.

As one of the bridesmaids, Dannie lined up outside of the church. Lining up beside her was Troy. Of course, he would be her partner. Who else, right? He was not the official wedding photographer. He was part of the entourage and he wouldn’t want to miss a big deal of the wedding for it. He had recommended a good friend and a few others to do that task.

Though his features were not fully Filipino, he looked good in barong . Dannie secretly thought he looked better than the groom himself. As for her, her dress had been altered to the one Troy had suggested and she felt a bit uncomfortable wearing it because it completely exposed one shoulder and she had never dressed like it before.

“You okay?” Troy asked when he noticed her fidgeting in her heels.

She smiled at him and nodded. “I’m good. It’s just the heels and the dress, I guess.”

He looked at her with tenderness in his eyes. “You are the most beautiful one today. And I am not joking, Danica. You really are.”

Miguel and Lee who were standing before him snorted and shook their heads.

The doors of the church opened before she could say anything in response and the march of the entourage started. The guests were already seated in their respective seats and eagerly watched as the music started and the line started moving.

The groom was the first to walk down the aisle with his parents and best man.

Dannie felt Troy’s hand take hers as their turn neared. He clasped their fingers together and they started walking. It was unconventional to walk hand in hand—it was always with the woman hooking her hand through the man’s arm—but she didn’t care and Troy surely didn’t as well. At that moment, it felt more natural to do it.

A strange feeling came over her as she walked with Troy near the altar. The holy cross that represented Christ was just right in front of her and as she stared at it, she didn’t feel burdened. She felt like she could do anything she desired because it was allowing her to—it was giving her the freedom she wanted.

Before she knew it, they had reached the end of the march and Troy let go of her hand to walk to the right. For a few seconds, she felt lost. Her feet almost dragged her to follow behind Troy but reality struck and she had to follow the order. She turned to her left to sit on the designated pew for the women. Before she sat down, she looked over to where Troy was and caught him already looking at her. He winked, sat down and turned his attention to the rest of the entourage.

The bride was coming and everybody was anticipating it.

Dannie had seen her earlier and she was beautiful.

The music changed as her friend and her parents walked down the aisle together. Dannie started crying because, finally, one of her best friends was taking one big step and it was a brave move for any woman in her opinion. But then, that kind of big step would have to be made with a man that you loved and Dannie thought that he friend was doing something right. With the man she’s marrying, nothing really mattered. No one could love her more than him. No one could understand her more than him.

---

The reception was at The Ruins, a place considered the Taj Mahal of Negros because of its history. The sun was about to set when they arrived from the church. The yellow lights illuminated the place, giving it a majestic look of both ancient and modern.

Dannie and Troy sat with their friends as they waited for the Toto, the bridal car driven by the groom himself.

The round tables were arranged all over the grounds of The Ruins. The guests from the wedding joined the ones who were invited only to the reception. Everyone seemed busy chattering and catching up.

The moment the bridal car honked its way into the place though, everyone returned to their seats with their wine glasses and started cheering.

The bride was smiling as she climbed off Toto with bouquet in one hand and her veil flying behind her. The groom helped her with her dress and they started toward the reception area.

“They said she’s the one who proposed,” Lee whispered around their table.

“Well, I can definitely see that happening,” Miguel nodded.

Dannie just smiled. She knew the whole story and her two friends were pretty close to it.

“Yeah, she was the one who proposed.”

The eyes around the table turned to Jackie.

Her friend raised her brows and looked at everyone with an incredulous look. “What? She said it herself.”

The guys’ jaws dropped open.

“So it’s true?” Miguel asked in shock, his eyes widening.

“Yeah,” Jackie said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Okay, since the truth is out, I have to say something,” Lee said, planting his palm flat on the table. “George is actually the last woman on my mind to get married. Because, guys, let’s face it…she loves her freedom too much, right? And you wouldn’t believe how shocked I was when the news came out that she’s getting married.”

Miguel was vigorously nodding his head as well. “I actually thought Jackie and Dean would tie the knot first.”

“What?” Jackie and Dean asked in unison.

“Well, it’s more likely, right?”

“Well, you’re wrong. George surprised the hell out of us all,” Jackie told them.

“How did she propose anyway?”

Jackie and Dannie shared an amused look. “In the car while they were driving home to the apartment?” Jackie uttered.

Dean laughed. “And we were in the apartment when they arrived and they just spilled the news like it’s nothing.”

“They just called me up one night and Jordan said, ‘Hey, will you shoot my pre-nuptial?’” Troy shared, adding, “And then George called the next day and demanded the shoot to be free.”

Everyone around the table laughed and turned their heads to watch the bride and groom take their seats in front of everyone. The best man, none other than Jordan’s own father, sat beside his wife and George’s parents. Vivienne, George’s only sister was happily entertaining everyone in the table she shared with Chester, their eldest and his wife.

Dannie was happy to see the big change in George’s relationship with her family after she met Jordan. The two of them had brought so more to each other’s lives than they were willing to admit.

---

There was no formal sequence to the reception. Of course, you would have to expect it from the bride. She hated formal events and it was even a miracle that she wore the wedding dress today. I had to listen to her complain about how restricting it was on our way to The Ruins. Good thing Jordan was in a very good mood!

And oh, yeah, I wasn’t decorated in any way. I came just the way I was. I had had enough of flower petals. My engines cringe at the thought of Brian, that crazy stalker, and his flowers!

Once dinner began, Dean and the rest of Anon stood up and prepared their instruments. Who else did you expect to entertain the guests?

There was a great deal of laughter all around. The different colors in the sky as the sun began to set gave everyone a more carefree feeling as they began to stand up and dance with the music. Georgie’s sister, Viv, had been dancing with different partners all night including her brother and father.

Jordan’s friends came and their laughter rang around as they enjoyed the party with jokes and funny stories. Georgie and Jordan’s Red Cross buddies were present as well, of course, and they had been eating like crazy.

The lively music stopped and Phil took to the mic and invited the bride and her father, Anton Lacson, for the father and daughter dance. My dear Georgie looked shy as her father came up to her and offered her his hand. She stood up and let the man guide her to the center of the reception that served as the dance floor.

As the intro to the music, I Loved Her First started, Georgie bent down and to the amazement of everyone, took off her high heels and went barefoot. Her father laughed, also an unexpected reaction considering what he was like before, with everyone. Jackie baby quickly grabbed the shoes like a good bridesmaid that she was and returned to her seat with them. Georgie’s father led the dance to the end and by the time they were over, Mariana Lacson was in tears and so was his husband who gave his daughter a peck before she turned her over to her husband of a few hours.

Then the music started once more and Apo Hiking Society’s song, When I Met You started playing, making the older audiences excited as Jordan started dancing with Georgie, looking at her with all the love in the world.

There I was, an empty piece of a shell,

Just minding my own world; Without even knowin’ what love and life were all about Then you came, You brought me out of the shell; You gave the world to me And before I knew, there I was so in love with you

You gave me a reason for my being And I love what I’m feelin’ You gave me a meaning to my life Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing And it all began when I met you

I love the touch of your hair And when I look in your eyes I just know, I know I’m on to something good And I’m sure, my love for you will endure Your love will light up my world; And take all my cares away With the aching part of me

You gave me a reason for my being And I love what I’m feelin You gave me a meaning to my life Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing And it all began when I met you

You taught me how to love You showed me how tomorrow and today My love is diff’rent from the yesterday I knew, you taught me to love And darling I will always cherish you today Tomorrow and forever…

As the song went on, the different things Jordan and Georgie went through flashed across my mechanical mind. That night they met and agreed to play along with their parents’ plans, those days they spent in each other’s place to pretend to know each other better, the crazy push-and-pull they went through to get to this moment. I was proud to be a witness to most of them, really, including the unconventional proposal of Georgie.

They were driving home that night and she just asked the question out of nowhere. “Do you think we should get married?” she had asked.

Jordan my boy looked like his eyes would jump out of his eyes. He almost choked on nothing at all because he could barely give a reply. What he asked was, “Are you freaking serious?”

Georgie shrugged her shoulders and gave him a quick glance. “It’s bound to happen anyway. And I want it to happen before our parents can plan it for themselves.”

“George, are you serious?” Jordan asked again.

“Yes, I am freaking serious!”

“Why?” he had asked.

“Why what?” she snapped at him.

“Why are you suggesting a wedding at this very moment?”

Georgie had rolled her eyes. “Just because. Aren’t you reason enough? You want more?”

“Okay,” he had said.

“Okay what?”

“Okay, let’s get married.”

“Okay.”

“You can’t take it back.”

“Okay!”

And things just went on as planned. No special or romantic proposal, really. Actually, most of us thought that Georgie only decided to propose because she was avoiding a romantic proposal from Jordan.

As the dancing continued and the party began, the bride and groom roamed around the place to check on their guests.

My metallic heart leaped when my boys started walking toward me, led by Georgie in her gown. Well, well, well…see who finally remembered the car! I cried out as they neared.

A photographer was walking behind them, ready to take shots. And I was so damned happy when my boys posed with me. They laughed at the funny poses they made and I was their subject, their platform. They sat on my hood, leaned on my sides and everywhere else.

I think that was the happiest day of my life—that very moment.

They were later joined by their friends and the groom and it was a crowd, I tell you! They were so all over me, making me groan with their weight. But I loved it. I loved every shot we made.

When the pictorial was over, the boys stayed behind as Georgie had one last thing to say.

The guys went back to the reception area, leaving them alone.

“I guess it’s finally time to say goodbye to Toto,” Georgie told them.

What?! I cried out.

She took the keys still inside me and played with them. “This is it, girls. I’m a wife now and I think I can’t share him with the two of you anymore. So I am letting him go.” She took Jackie’s hand and dropped my keys.

Jackie girl and Dannie baby were dumbfounded. “But,” Jackie started, looking at Georgie with round eyes. “Why are you doing this now? Aren’t you gonna use Toto after this?”

George smiled. “We’re going to our honeymoon tomorrow morning. We decided you can drive us to the hotel after this and take Toto home with you.”

“But George, we have our own keys. These are YOUR keys. You can always borrow Toto from us and—”

Georgie was already shaking her head. “No. Toto is all yours. I’ve decided, after our talk last night about changes, that I have to let go of Toto. He’s a great part of our lives and I hate to let him go, but I can no longer share him you now that I am married. I will no longer be going home to our apartment. I will share most of my life with Jordan and…” she trailed off, giving her friends a bittersweet smile. “You can do whatever you want with him. I’m stepping back.”

Jackie was already crying but she nodded her head anyway.

“Okay, okay. Gosh, I need a moment. I need a retouch,” Jackie girl said, walking away with Georgie’s keys in hand.

Dannie baby looked on with a smile. “So this is really happening, huh?” she asked with disbelief in her voice.

“Yeah, I guess so. Can you believe it? I actually got married. I don’t feel any different though,” Georgie admitted, looking at her husband as he took pictures with his friends.

“I have one last question before we go back and join the party,” Dannie baby said.

“Shoot.”

“Why did you decide to propose to Jordan? Earlier, we were talking about how it was such a shock to know that you proposed to Jordan.”

Georgie took a deep breath and wrapped one arm over her friend’s shoulders. “I don’t know too, you know. It just popped in my head one night while we were driving that I can never find another man who could show me what I cannot see. I’ve been in this world long enough, been to many places and met hundreds of people from different walks of life. None of them opened my eyes to things I never or refused to see before. So why drag the time when I knew it was him, right?” She started leading Dannie baby away from me to go back to the reception. “And I saved him from the trouble of preparing for a romantic proposal which I really hate,” she added with a laugh.

---

Dannie enjoyed the reception with her friends. They talked and laughed at the different memories they shared in the past. They mostly talked about George who had always been difficult when it came to relationships.

She only wished that Jackie would forget about her and Troy because her friend wouldn’t stop whispering in her ears, asking questions about the kiss she shared with the man.

Jackie only stopped her questions when Dannie turned to her and said, “Correction, Jackie, it’s not just one kiss. They’re kisses. “ Jackie was left shocked and Dannie took that opportunity to transfer to another seat beside Lee and Miguel. Jackie then made herself busy by dragging Troy around the place to take pictures of her stating that the lights and the shadows were great factors in getting a good shot for her next profile picture on her social networking sites.

When he was finally relieved of that difficult task by Dean, Troy became busy catching up with friends they hadn’t met for years. And when it was time to go home, he went to her and asked, “Do you need a ride?”

Dannie shook her head and said, “Jackie and I are driving the newlyweds to their hotel. We have to drive Toto back home.”

His face fell for a second before he smiled and stepped closer. “Well, then, good night, Danica,” he said before he hastily planted a kiss on her forehead, his hand at the back of her neck. And then he stepped back as fast as he came and added, “Drive safe, okay?” He then walked off to where their other friends were. Dannie felt a sense of satisfaction. The simple action Troy did was so normal and it was the kind that she liked. It was as if it was not a big deal at all. It was the kind of thing that Dean would do with Jackie or Jordan with George. If he did that months or even weeks ago, she would have made a big fuss over it, but now Dannie didn’t mind because it felt natural, like she expected it to happen.

Jackie was standing just a few feet away, gaping at her. Luckily, no one else saw the exchange. Dannie turned to her friend and pretended nothing happened. “Let’s get Toto ready.”

Chapter 28

A piece of the past…

College was good to her. As a matter of fact, things went well from the moment she left home.

Though she may have had more responsibilities than her friends, she was not against it. She liked helping the sisters when they needed help. She joined their activities, those that she was allowed to participate it. They had also taken her to different places around the country whenever they had to do some work. At school, her friends were her family. At home, she had more than that. She had the sisters and she had God.

College may have been good, but it was also challenging. There were papers to finish, projects and exams to pass, activities to attend and friends who were fun but distracting at the same time.

Lee, Miguel and Troy were one of those friends. They had been a constant itch in Dannie, George and Jackie’s lives. But they were the kind of nuisance that the girls welcomed and even missed sometimes. The girls did some of their papers for them and though they all took different courses, they would often find ways to be able to get together.

Dannie found herself enjoying some of the things college life had offered as well. She went to bars and clubs with her friends. She had had her first beer with them.

Sometimes, she would find herself being alone with Troy. He would always insist to take her home because no one else would dare answer the sisters’ questions why she did not go home as promised. And in those times that they were alone, their bantering would lessen. They would revert to a different kind of relationship that they never showed their friends whenever they were together with them. It was as if they kept that healthy side of their friendship from everyone in a mutual way. And it was during those moments that she was alone with them that she could get a glimpse of who Troy Brady really was without the goofy boy façade. It was during those moments as well that she would find herself seeing him as a man, not as a friend. And it was during those times that she would consider that maybe, just maybe, she would like someone like him in her life to stay for good.

But then reality would always strike back. No man would want her after they learned of her past.

So Troy Brady stayed as her friend for a very long time. Nothing more, nothing less.

PRESENT DAY

We drove the couple to their hotel. I was not really used to being a bridal car, since it was my first time, but I was pretty certain it was unusual to have your two best friends drive you and your husband to your hotel after the wedding.

Though no one questioned the situation, I knew everyone else was thinking the same thing except the bride and groom who seemed oblivious of the situation.

Jackie girl drove me while Dannie baby rode shotgun. She had been very silent since we left The Ruins and I didn’t really think much about it. Maybe the wedding gave her some things to ponder as a wedding always would to those who attended one.

“You know, I just realized that we did not throw the bouquet,” Georgie said when they finally managed to climb out of me.

“And the garter,” Jordan added, yawning as he said so.

“Well, I know who I’d like to give it to,” Georgie said, smiling at Jackie.

Jackie girl beamed widely as she held out her hand to receive the bouquet from Georgie. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell Dean I caught it because Dannie wouldn’t. Should I also give him the garter?” she asked Jordan.

The guy laughed and fished for the garter from his pocket and threw it toward Dannie baby. She gaped at him wide eyed. “What would I do with this?”

Jordan just shrugged. “Do whatever you want with it. It can be a very good headband,” he said with a wink. “Shall we go?” he asked Georgie who turned to her friends to give them both a hug.

“Thank you so much for everything, you two. Are you sure you are going to be alright driving home alone?”

“Of course!” Dannie baby and Jackie girl said in unison, shooing the couple away. “Enjoy Machu Picchu!” Jackie added as the couple entered the hotel.

And as if she forgot something REALLY important, Georgie stopped and ran back toward us and threw her hand around me—well, as much as she could anyway.

Aww, Georgie, please don’t make me cry.

“I will miss you so much, Toto. Thank you for taking me to my wedding,” she whispered.

“Okay, wife, I think this getting a bit creepy,” Jordan jested from a few feet away.

Shut up, Ledesma! I cried out as I relished on Georgie’s hug. She finally stepped back and gave Jackie and Dannie one more hug . “You sure you’re okay driving home?” she asked them again.

“Of course, George,” Jackie said dryly.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, okay? We’ll go to the airport,” Dannie said.

Georgie nodded and walked back to her husband.

Five minutes later, we were driving back to the apartment in utter silence. Until Jackie spoke and broke the silence. “Oh gosh, I don’t think I’m okay.”

Dannie was already choking in her words as she said, “Me too.”

Oh, my boys, me too! Jackie girl, pull over. I wanna cry for a minute, please.

She did just that as if she heard me. And she and Dannie cried together. And I did too. I think the three of us were afraid to go home just yet. We’d be going back to the apartment knowing Georgie would be coming back there only as a guest. I had never seen what the three of them did inside that place, but I heard stories of their lives there. It had been their place for years and now one room was vacant. For a moment, I felt the great impact of the changes in their lives.

Would we ever get used to this?

---

Dannie and Jackie entered the apartment and burst out in tears again. Everything inside the place had a lot of George’s imprint on them. He had done most of their wall paintings, their photo frames, fixed their plumbing and even the door locks.

“She never got to fix the chair. She told me last week she’d fix it,” Jackie sobbed, dropping on the carpet floor in her gown and heels. Dannie joined her and they hugged each other for comfort.

“You’re saying stuff as if she died. Stop it.” She shook Jackie as she said it. “She’s just gone away to another home in the same city.”

“But she’d have her hand full. She has other priorities now. And when do we get to see her? Do we still go to Art? Would she still be able to fix our faucets or even Toto?”

Dannie didn’t have any answer to that. She didn’t want to think about those things when she was not even sure if she was staying here for good.

Minutes later, they were lying on the carpet without any desire to change their clothes. Jackie had fallen asleep, crying. Dannie, on the other hand, couldn’t.

Things had been running around her mind since they left the party.

During the wedding, a thought came to her mind. Had her parents been through a wedding with as much love as George and Jordan? Had they ever planned on doing the things they did when they gave their vows?

Wondering about those things was pointless, she thought. They did what they did and no one could change that, not even her. And that was probably the reason why she couldn’t forgive them until now.

Yes, she could not forgive her them. She just couldn’t. Not for now, Dannie thought.

Admitting that fact to herself gave her relief. She couldn’t forgive her parents, especially her mother, now. Maybe if time would permit it, she’d eventually learn to do so, but not now. She couldn’t find it in her heart no matter how much she wanted to. She had the will, but she had been damaged in more ways than one to easily do what she wanted.

She was just human, after all. And humans could harbor hate as much as they could harbor love. It was just a matter of which you valued the most. The hate and the pain were still there, yet she chose to ignore them and focus on things that she wanted in her life right now. The dark part of her would be a constant presence. She had learned to ignore it for years but she never learned to embrace its presence. Now she was ready to do that because it was a part of her. She was who she was because of it. But it would not live her life for her.

She remembered what Stephanie had told her in Dumaguete and agreed with the lady. She’d lock the pain and hatred at the darkest corners of her heart and keep the key instead of throwing it away.

Her temporary phone beeped, indicating a text message. She took it from her handbag.

It was Troy.

Troy: Still awake?

She just stared at the message for a while before she decided to send a reply.

Dannie: No.

She smiled when his reply came fast.

Troy: Funny, Danica. Why are you still up?

Dannie: Because someone just texted me and I have to reply. I don’t want to be rude.

Troy: Are you okay?

Dannie: Why are you asking?

Troy: George got married. I’m sure you boys are sort of brokenhearted.

Dannie: Jackie cried herself to sleep on the carpet floor.

Troy: Don’t tell her I slept there drunk last time.

Dannie: Why are you still up?

Troy: About to go to sleep. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.

Dannie: I’m fine.

Troy: Then why are you not sleeping?

Dannie: Because you keep on texting.

Instead of a text reply, her phone rang in her hand. She rolled her eyes though she couldn’t keep herself from smiling. She hastily stood up and walked out of the apartment to answer the call. She didn’t want to wake Jackie. Her friend would just start crying again.

“Why did you call?” she asked as greeting when she answered Troy’s call.

“You said I keep on texting so I called.” He sounded tired and Dannie wondered why he was still up.

“You did not go out with Lee and Miguel? I heard they were planning to go out tonight,” she asked casually, sitting on the chair right beside the front door.

“I’m tired. Can’t you hear my voice? I’m tired.”

“Yeah, I can very well tell. Then get some sleep.”

“I can’t.”

Dannie was almost afraid to ask why. “Why?” she asked anyway.

There was a pause from his end. “You know why,” he answered with a husky chuckle. “Don’t press it, Danica. You may not like my answer.”

“I am not pressing. You’re the one who called.”

“Why are you still up?” he asked again.

“You know why.”

“No, I honestly don’t.”

“Because you called.” He did not answer. And when she thought he had fallen asleep, she said, “Troy.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you playing a game with me? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why the sudden call?”

“You know the answer to that.”

This time, it was her turn to keep quiet.

She heard him sigh. “It’s just that you’re still the one I think of when I am not busy on something and even when I am, you still cross my mind.”

“I thought you already decided to like step back or something.”

“You can’t possibly expect me to do that every freaking time, right?” he asked with bitterness. “Like cancer patients or drug addicts, I also get a relapse.”

Dannie chuckled. “What a pun.”

“A good pun. Women usually find it romantic.”

“To be compared to an incurable disease and drugs? No, not really romantic.”

He gave another sigh. “What have you been doing awake? You said Jackie’s already asleep,” he asked, changing the subject.

“Thinking,” she answered. She heard some plastic being ripped or moved from his head. “What are you doing?”

“I’m eating. Thinking about what?”

“Stuff about my past. What are you eating?”

He was munching something now. “Piatos. About your past? What about it?” His voice had turned grim at the last question.

“It’s nothing. Just stuff that I’ve been thinking about lately. What flavor?”

“Cheese,” he answered then grew quiet. “Do you want me to come over?” he asked after a few seconds.

“No, I’m fine. I am not even crying about it. I just had to decide on something.”

She heard him gulp. “Decide?”

Dannie nodded. “Yes. I decided to finally face her and talk to her.”

l

Chapter 29

A piece of the past…

Dannie was with her friends at Art District, including Troy and Dean’s band, Anon. Though she enjoyed the music, she was not enjoying Troy’s obvious fascination toward Nikki, Dean’s cousin and the band’s new vocalist. He was almost throwing himself at her it was getting annoying. George seemed to have a problem and had been drinking nonstop but didn’t want to go home. Jackie was executing some crazy plans of her Dannie didn’t want to be a part of.

She finally decided she’d go home and when not one of her friends wanted to come back to the apartment with her, she stood up saying, “Fine. I’ll go.”

Troy immediately stood up as well and she stared at him. “Where are you going?” she asked.

“I’ll take you home,” he answered.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” he uttered, already fishing for his keys.

“No, I’ll go home alone. I can manage.”

“He’s taking you, Dannie. Period. Or you’ll stay here until we’re all ready to go home,” Jackie pointed out firmly.

Dannie assessed the situation. With Jackie wanting to have more time with Dean and George with her mysterious problem, no one was going home in a few hours. She sighed. “Fine. Faster, Brady.”

“Yes, teacher Danica,” Troy said, bowing and throwing his arm sideways as she passed by.

“Stop that! What the hell is wrong with you?” She wasn’t sure why she was more annoyed at him than usual.

“Hey, I’m doing you a big favor here,” Troy said as they walked away from the group and toward Tata.

Dannie did not answer.

“Why are you pissed?” he asked once they started driving back to the apartment.

“I’m not. Who told you I am?”

“It’s pretty obvious, Danica,” he jested.

“It’s nothing. And you should know that I could have taken myself home. You didn’t have to take me. I know you were busy.”

“Busy with what?”

“Nikki. Be careful, Brady, she’s Dean’s cousin.”

“Hey, I am just fond of her, that’s all.”

“You are fond of a lot of women.”

“Yeah, except you. You’re such a spoiler.”

She did not answer. Yeah, why was she even spoiling everyone’s fun? She stole Troy a look and mentally shook her head. After their years of friendship, was she falling for Troy Brady?

No, it can’t be, she thought. And if she’d ever fall for him, it would have to be her own little secret.

PRESENT DAY

“I’ll come with you,” he uttered without hesitation.

“What?”

“I’ll go with you. I can’t allow you to face that woman alone, Danica.”

“Troy, I’ll do it alone. This is my issue to face.”

“Who said you have to face it alone?”

“Me.” She said it so firmly that Troy did not bother to push her.

“But you’ll call or text if you need anything, right?” he asked, his voice full of apprehension.

“Yes, I will. I have to go to sleep. You should too.”

“Okay. Good night, Danica.”

“’Night, Troy.”

She stayed outside the apartment for a while just staring at nothing in particular, reassuring herself that she could handle it on her own. Just this once, she’d try to face her fears alone. She’d face her and say what was on her mind.

Her phone beeped a message.

Troy: Text or call if you need anything. I mean it, Danica.

Dannie smiled, got up and walked back inside the apartment.

---

She didn’t tell Jackie or George. Her newlywed friend was going away for her honeymoon and she didn’t want her worrying over her. And Jackie talked a lot whenever she was nervous or upset and Dannie wanted her confrontation with her mother to be a secret.

George hugged both of her friends goodbye, a bit longer and tighter than last time, before she went away with Jordan.

After they left the airport, Jackie wanted to spend the day with her but she said she had somewhere else to go.

“Where?” her friend asked suspiciously.

Dannie just shrugged.

“You’re going with Troy again, are you?”

“Maybe,” she replied.

“Dannie, tell me one thing…are you going out with him? Have you made up your mind?”

She shook her head. “No, not yet. But I will soon. Just call Dean and tell him to pick you up or something. I need Toto.”

Dean arrived at Calea to pick Jackie up and the couple left Dannie with Toto. Dannie took a deep breath and sighed. She knew where the woman lived. The problem was that she had not been to that place for a very long time.

---

The place looked very familiar yet different altogether. The street and the houses had somehow changed, but the smell and the air around triggered a lot of memories from her past.

The house looked a bit better though. She must have done some fixing since she came back, Dannie thought. She had heard that her father had been home before he died years ago. She barely had any reaction when the sisters relayed the news. She knew her mother was living alone now, but why couldn’t she care?

She squared her shoulders and knocked.

She heard something scramble inside and before she knew it, the door opened.

The shock on her mother’s face was apparent.

For the first time in many years, Dannie was face to face with the woman. She saw the traces of years in prison and stress in her mother’s face. She was almost taken aback at how old she looked up close. Her eyes had gotten deeper, her eyelids more droopy; the lines around her mouth and eyes were more visible now. She could see some strands of gray hair peeking out of the woman’s neatly tied hair.

“I came to tell you something,” she said in a low voice.

The woman started to cry and stepped aside. “Come in,” her mother said.

Dannie looked at her from head to foot. She was not doing well, but she looked healthy. Her beauty had been abused in the years she was away. She was wearing a simple yet clean black shirt over a green long skirt that reached her knees. Her slippers were getting thin and her nails looked like it had met a handful of bad nippers. Her eyes left her mother and to the darkness inside the house. She didn’t need light to know where things were inside. She clasped her hands together and shook her head. Her feet took a step back as she said, “No. I’ll stay here. I just came by to say something.”

She could choose to step inside and learn more about how her mother had been and how prison had changed her, but at that moment Dannie didn’t have any desire to talk about the woman’s life after the trial.

“I have a lot to say to you. You don’t know how much I wanted to tell you—”

“That you’re sorry?” Dannie asked, cutting her off.

A tear fell from her mother’s eye as she nodded her head. “Yes. Yes, I want to say sorry for everything I have done to you. I realized that I have ruined your life in a way.”

“In a way?” Dannie incredulously asked. She stopped and took a deep breath to control herself. “Yes, you can say that you have ruined my life in a way . No, I think you have not really ruined my life because it turned out to be good. You actually just ruined me ,” she uttered, clasping her hands tighter together. “ In a way, “ she added.

The woman’s lips began to shake. She did not make a move to wipe her tears either as she kept her gaze on the ground.

“But I don’t want to talk about that,” Dannie said, breaking the silence. “I came by to tell you that for years I have been struggling with myself. I thought that it was necessary that I forgive you because that’s what God had taught me. I thought that it would be easy. But it is not.” She could feel her own tears coming and her words quickened. “So, after struggling with myself, I finally accepted the fact that for me to be able to go on with my life without my past haunting me is to embrace the fact that I may never be able to learn to forgive you. But I will try in my own way, in my own pace and time.” Her mother looked at her with hope in her eyes. “I can’t promise I will forget about everything though, because that has been very hard and I have not been successful on that.” She paused to catch her breath. “I also came to tell you that I don’t want to see you again.” This time, her tears fell from her eyes. She shook her head as she spoke, “Because every time I see you, I remember everything like they were just yesterday. I remember how you turned a blind eye when your own husband had been abusing your child. I can still hear the ding of the elevator of that hotel as clearly as I hear my own voice right now. I still smell the perfume you forced me to wear during those visits and every time I encounter that scent, I still sweat and have a panic attack. And I still remember my sister’s innocent face when we gave her away.” Her shoulders started to shake and she took a step back from her mother when the woman tried to reach out. Dannie was getting breathless as she fought the urge to cry harder. “She never knew what was going on. I wasn’t even able to say goodbye to my own sister.”

Dannie unclasped her hands and wiped her tears with them. She squared her shoulders once more and looked at her mother’s eyes. “I hope you understand why I don’t want to see you. I am not closing my doors, but I am not opening them wide either. I need time and while I try to forgive you, I wish that you can live your life the right way, but away from me. Live your life thinking I am trying to find it in my heart to forgive you. I hope that time comes and when it does, you’ll be the first to know. For now, just let me heal and let me be.”

She looked at her mother for a long time, trying to find a reason for her to change her words, but none came. Dannie believed she had made the right decision and if she didn’t, she was willing to pay the price later.

“I’ll get going now,” she uttered more gently and walked away.

“I’ll be waiting,” her mother said softly behind her. She just nodded without turning her head, her feet still taking her further away from the place she had vowed never to return to years before. Yet she had returned. And maybe, in the future, she’d find her way back and when that would happen it would be with an open heart.

---

My Dannie baby had been quietly crying by herself for almost an hour now. She had driven me away from the stinky neighborhood with hands shaking. She had been holding it in, I guess, because the moment she stopped and parked me inside the old airport, the tears came. It was not a very loud cry, you know.

It was quiet and in my opinion, it was more a cry of relief that finally, she was able to do what she had been avoiding to do. I only wished she talked as much as Jackie did because I so wanted to know what she told that woman.

She did not even say a word and I was dying to know what had transpired. But then, it would be between her and that woman. I was just so proud of my baby that she was finally able to do it, you know. And I think that single thing she did made the rest of the things she was about to do easier.

After some time of just staring at the empty airport, Dannie baby was finally able to smile.

Too proud of yourself, eh? I asked her. Well, you should, baby. You should be!

She appeared to be thinking about something for a while, her eyes dreamy and her smile just freaking fixated on her face.

What are you thinking now?

In response, she grabbed her phone and dialed a number.

Troy freaking Brady . Yeah, right. Who did I expect? God?

She sniffed and cleared her throat as she waited for the line to connect.

“Hello? Danica, where are you? Are you okay?” were Troy’s first words.

The smile on her lips grew wider. Oh holy gas. I think I know what’s going to happen next. “I’m fine. Where are you?”

“What?” He seemed taken aback. Why was she asking where he was anyway, right? “I’m on a shoot.”

“Where?”

“The BREDCO port,” Troy answered. “We’re just wrapping up a few things. Give me ten minutes and I’ll—”

“No. I’m coming. Wait for me,” Dannie baby cut in. She disconnected before Troy could say anything and started my engine.

Dannie, baby, please think about it for a few more days, will you? I mean, I am not really sure what you are up to, but I have this mechanical inkling and it is always right. So, before you do or say anything, sleep on it first. Can’t you do that?“

But she was not hearing me. Just like Jackie or Georgie in the past, she was not listening to me.

As she sped us toward BREDCO port, I coiuldnt help but give a mechanical sigh.

I just hope that Troy Brady is ready, Dannie baby, because in a matter of minutes he is going to go really crazy.

Holy Volks, I like how that rhymed!

Chapter 30

A piece of the past…

“You have to think hard about this, Danica,” Troy said.

“I already did and this is my final decision. Stop looking at me like that. It’s not like you. You should be happy the fun-spoiler is going away.”

He shook his head, his expression incredulous yet patient at the same time. “I can’t let you go like this. Just stay a few more months and try to think more about it.”

“Troy, just accept my decision like Jackie and George did.”

“Danica, I have more reasons why I can’t let you go.”

She frowned and her heart started to race. She did not dare ask why. He leaned over to peer at her with a serious look on his face. She tried to look away but his eyes locked hers in a strong and intense gaze.

“I love you. Not just as a friend. I’ve loved you for a long time and I’ve been meaning to tell you and it has been making me crazy. And if there is any part in you that considers the same level of affection, don’t go. We have to give it a shot. I am ready to give it a shot, Danica.”

Dannie’s heart leaped at his confession. Was she glad to know that he loved her? Yes, she was. But it wasn’t supposed to be this way. Her feelings for him had blossomed over the years and she had been trying to put a leash on it because there were things in her life that she didn’t want him to be a part of. He was too good for her and he deserved more. She barely had enough left for herself.

“Troy, let’s not make things complicated, please,” she begged.

He looked frustrated as he paced around the living room. They were left alone by their friends to talk. “Danica, I just told you I love you. And all you have to say is ‘let’s not make things complicated’?”

A tear fell from her eyes as she shook her head. “I can’t accept you or your feelings for me.”

“Why? Because we’re friends and it will make things complicated?”

“No. Because we don’t deserve each other.”

PRESENT DAY

I felt like I was in a freaking movie that afternoon.

Dannie zoomed me into BREDCO port as if she was Georgie and screeched to a stop when she spotted Troy and some of his men huddled in a group. She climbed off me in a hurry. The air from the sea was strong and it blew her long hair to the side. The sun was blasting as well before it would soon disappear behind the horizon. Dannie baby squinted against the light.

And she started walking away to where Troy was.

Wait. Wait. Wait. I am going to miss it? What the freaking Volks! I am going to miss it?! Dannie baby, don’t go away! Let him come to you! You don’t have to go that far!

But she was. And she was doing it like a brave soldier marching to battle.

Troy must have seen her then because he turned away from the rest and started walking toward my Dannie baby to meet her halfway.

It’s a freaking movie material, man…and I am not going to witness a word of it!

As Dannie baby and Troy my boy got closer to each other, I couldn’t help but squirm. I got a very good feeling about this and I was so freaking dying to hear what she had to say.

---

He was smiling at her as he approached, his eyes narrowed against the sun. “You’re okay, right?” he asked.

She knew what he was talking about and she nodded her head as she tucked some strands of her hair behind one ear. “I did it. I said what I wanted to say and I did it alone.”

His chest expanded outward as he looked at her with wonder. There was no denying he was proud of her. “You did, didn’t you?”

“Yes. And do you know what the first thing that came to my mind after I got the sense of victory?”

“What?” He pushed his hands deep inside the front pockets of his jeans. His hair was being blown by the wind in the same direction as hers as they stood two feet away from each other.

“I wanted to share it.”

“Who wouldn’t feel proud?”

“So I called you.”

The smile on his face froze as he realized what she said.

“You were the first person to pop in my head, Troy,” Dannie uttered, her eyes welling up with tears again.

His lack of words told her that he was too overwhelmed. She was too, but she was not willing to let the time pass and leave words unspoken because she didn’t know when her courage would start to wane.

Calculating her words, she let a moment of silence pass between them. He might be trying to say something, but that did not matter to her. He had said enough in the last few weeks they had been together. He had said his piece a year ago. For her, he had done enough.

And it was her turn now.

She looked into his eyes and her heart began to harmer stronger than before.

“I want to clarify something before you say anything,” she began. He waited. “Before we arrived in Dumaguete from Cadiz, you said something to me.”

“I said a lot of things,” was all he said. He was smiling but she was not sure what he was thinking or if he was even taking this seriously. His companions kept on looking at their direction, probably curious as to why Troy was suddenly not working.

“You said that you don’t want to be the only reason why I don’t want to go back to the convent.”

His brows rose but his mouth kept silent.

“And you also said that you want me to not go back because I am not afraid anymore.”

His brows rose higher, his hands diving deeper into his pockets. He was getting impatient, she knew it.

“Well, I just want to tell you three things.”

He did not ask this time. His eyes were on hers and he was trying really hard to be patient. It showed on how he kept his hands in his pockets and how his feet swayed him backward and forward without leaving his spot.

“One, that I am not afraid anymore. I no longer find the need to escape or run away.”

“Uh-huh,” he said, urging her to continue.

Dannie smiled at his impatience. “Two, you are the first person to pop in my head when I thought I achieved something great today. That must mean something, right?” With that, she saw him start to move toward her. His hands were out of his pockets, reaching out for her. But she stepped back and held her arm out to keep him at a distance. “You have to wait, Brady, I have one last thing to say.”

His frustration and impatience was now clearly painted on his face and he was not making any effort to hide it. He wanted to embrace her right there and then, Dannie was sure of that.

“I have one more thing to say so keep your hands to yourself first,” she reiterated, taking another step back, blocking her hair away from her face. He reached out to help but she blocked his hand. “You’re too impatient.”

“Because you’re taking your damn time, Danica. You and I both know what you are about to say.”

“No, you don’t so stay right there.”

He dropped his hand and pursed his lips, waiting for her to finish what she wanted to say.

“Third,” she began, cleared her throat and began again, “Third, I have come to realize a lot of reasons to not go back—” his face lit up and she thought he would have jumped at her if she did not hold up her hand and continued, “to the convent. But,” she added and his face fell for a moment. “But, even though I have and even though you said you don’t want to be the only reason why I would want to stay, you are still enough reason for me to not go back.” A tear finally made its way down her cheek and when Troy made a move to come closer she did not stop him. She met his strong embrace and more tears streamed down her face. He leaned back to hold both sides of her face in his hands. His eyes were nearly in tears. He was speechless for a moment as he wiped her tears and composed himself. Troy swallowed and looked into her eyes, relishing the moment.

“You don’t know how I freaking feel right now. You have no freaking idea.”

Dannie looked into his eyes and smiled, her tears making his features blurry. “Trust me, I have a freaking idea.”

His eyes bored into hers for a very long time and it seemed to her that everything stopped at that moment. She could feel the strong wind and her hair flying around. She could feel her heart doing different kinds of leaps. She could feel and that was all that mattered.

“I’ll kiss you right now if everybody’s not looking,” he whispered over her and smiled.

Dannie smiled back and held his hands closer to her face. “We can wait.”

And then she stepped back. “I have somewhere else to go. I just came by to ease your misery,” she told him with a laugh.

He held her hand fast to stop her. “Wait.”

“What?”

“You forgot to say one more thing.”

She knew what he meant. “What?”

“Come on, you know what I mean. You said you came by to ease my misery. Now, erase it completely. “

She rolled her eyes at him. “I hate it when you’re being this cheesy,” she uttered, stepping closer. She stood on tiptoes, placed her hands on his shoulders and brought her lips close to his ear. “I love you, Troy Brady.”

She was already briskly walking away with her head down in embarrassment when he started howling in victory.

---

It had been almost a month since that day in the port happened. I still held a grudge toward Dannie baby for not giving me the honor of witnessing that obviously romantic moment between her and Troy.

But then, I was just a car and a car was just supposed to drive people to freaking places to confess their love, right? I was just that kind of car! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!

Despite my sentiments though, things went pretty smooth from then on. Dannie baby, obviously, decided to stay. Yeah, yeah, not such a big surprise. You had to give Troy Brady some sort of trophy for that one. Just forget about the freaking car that shipped them with all the screws and tinkling parts of its yellow body.

So, anyway, ever since that eventful day when I just, you know, left parked in the middle of the port, Dannie baby and Troy had been taking it slow. Troy was the man when it came to taking it slow. Who would have thought he could be capable of that? Even Jordan, Dean, Lee and Miguel commented on how he seemed different when it came to Dannie. Well, they didn’t know her story so they were just left to wonder. Poor them, right?

Dates were mostly spent at the apartment, the church, the old airport, and coffee shops. They went out on movies and even had weekends with his parents. But no more out of town trips as of now, I guess. They were really taking it slow and I assumed that Dannie still had some loose ends to deal with.

She did that one Saturday, just before we went to Georgie’s parents’ home out of town for a dinner party. Troy drove me, of course, since I had to be the one to take them anywhere. Poor Tata.

They drove me to the monastery and Troy waited with me outside while Dannie talked with the sisters to say goodbye. Finally, there was closure and I knew one person who was happy about it and he was sitting behind my wheels, tapping my steering wheel with happy fingers as he sang with the song playing over my radio.

Dannie came out with a smile on her face and her eyes red and moist. She had been crying, of course.

“Everything went well?” Troy softly asked. He did not start my engine, giving Dannie baby some time to recover.

She took a deep breath and smiled at him. “I promised to visit from time to time so you will have to take me every time.”

“Of course,” was his fast reply.

We dropped by the old airport after that. “I think we should stop going here,” Dannie baby uttered.

“Why?” asked Troy.

“I believe that wherever she is right now, she’s in a good place. I believe she’s happy and that she grew up to be the best person I had imagined her to be, even more. I don’t want to hang on to a memory of a sickly girl anymore. I want to have a new image of her in my mind. So I guess I am saying to goodbye to my little sister, Tessa today. From now on, she will just be Tessa, my sister who had the best chance.”

Troy took her hand in his and squeezed it. “Well, then, if that’s what you want. Why don’t we start saying goodbye now? Then let’s get going and enjoy a good dinner party?”

---

Vivienne, Georgie’s sister with Down Syndrome, was my sweet companion that night. Out in the parking lot of the Lacson residence with my other friends, Beatle and Victor aka Vicky, we had our own share of entertainment in the form of the sweet child herself. Well, she was not really a child anymore, but she was the youngest so in headlights she was still an innocent spirit. She liked me the most and I was not exaggerating about it. It was as if she and I had that special connection, you know. We sort of understood each other. Yes, she sort of understood me and she would tell me stories of her days at school, with her parents and her siblings, particularly Georgie and Jordan.

As the night went on and as the party continued inside with laughter ringing out from inside the house, I thought of how far we had come from the day my boys found me in a second-hand car sale with Troy. I had been a witness to all their struggles—from that freak Brian, the stalker; to Jordan who at first was a stalker in his own right but turned out to be Georgie’s loving husband who made her open her eyes to her very own family; to Dannie baby’s past and the pain she held in her heart. There were so many more minute problems they had that I had to suffer as well. And there were their little quirks that I learned to love—from Jackie’s singing and double parking while retouching her makeup; to Georgie’s obsessiveness with tools and outdoor paraphernalia; to Dannie baby’s big devotion to prayer and church. They were quirks I grew to love and be accustomed to that they had been programmed in my own system. And there were the happy days as well—their little pranks; their drunken craziness though they were not really happy moments during that time; their dates and kisses I was forced to witness; the giddy moments; the proposal; the wedding and many others.

I was ready for more of those things. I was so ready but I knew that my time was coming to an end. I just had that feeling, you know.

Before I could bury myself in self-pity all over again, I saw the men making their way toward me, all of them carrying a bottle of beer in one hand.

“Where do you plan to do it?” asked Jordan.

“It has to be private. I can’t have people hearing Jackie cry out or see me crying when she says no,” Dean said with a chuckle.

“Well, if you need anything, I’m here,” Jordan said.

“You did not even do anything to propose, dude. How can you help? Give tips?” Troy guffawed.

“They’re coming. Shut up,” Dean hastily snapped and the three of them pretended like nothing happened.

“Yeah, we’re actually thinking about that,” Troy said, in an attempt to open a different conversation as my boys neared.

“Thinking about what?” Georgie asked, leaning against Victor aka Vicky beside her husband.

“Uh, about the trip, right Dannie?” Troy asked.

Dannie looked at him pointedly.

“What trip?” Jackie asked beside Dean.

Everyone was silent, waiting for her reply. When it seemed like no one was giving up, Dannie elbowed Troy and sighed. “I’m going on a trip,” she said.

Her friends’ faces widened. “You are? Where?” Jackie and Georgie asked in unison.

“India.”

“India?!”

“I have applied as a volunteer teacher in one of the areas there. It’s not sure yet since there were a lot of us who applied for the position. And the process can be quite long so I may not be going in a year or two.”

“But who would I live with when that happens?” Jackie cried out. “No one can’t leave me in that freaking apartment!”

Oh, shut up, Jackie girl. Dean’s proposing so you practically have a new house.

“And you are okay with this?” Jackie demanded from Troy.

He just smiled and looked at everyone as if they were all stupid. “Who told you she’s going to go alone?”

Oh my gas. I think I am feeling it now. Jackie would be getting married soon—she just didn’t know it yet. And Dannie would be leaving for India.

Where the hell would that leave me?!

Epilogue

THREE YEARS LATER

“Troy, the bag,” Dannie said before they walked out of the doors.

“Shit. I forgot. I’m sorry.” He ran to where they had been standing a few minutes ago and came rushing back to her with the black bag in hand.

“Jackie will kill us if we forget that one,” she told him and finally let him push their cart out of the airport.

“They’re just freaking dresses and scarves and whatnots.”

“When will you ever stop complaining about them?” she asked laughingly.

“Until I hand it to her,” he uttered with feigned annoyance. Troy held out his hand for her and she took it with a smile. He bent down and planted a quick kiss on her lips.

It was nice to be home.

---

You wouldn’t believe where I was or who was driving me right now.

Guess. Just try it.

Come on.

You would never have imagined it. I never did as well until a few days ago.

His fingers gripped my steering wheel nervously. Yeah, like it was his first time driving! I knew this was going to happen! I knew it! He would deliver us both to our own respective gravesites if he didn’t put himself together.

He was tasked to do a lot of errands and I was left in his care so he would have a service . Yeah, right. After all these years, after all the love and care, after all the shipping, I ended up as a freaking service .

Everyone else was going to the airport to meet Dannie baby and Troy. Everyone except me and this guy.

Of all the many things we were told to do, he was only able to do just one so far: buy ice. We still had to get the cake. And the barbecue. And the freaking fish and meat and chips!

Hey, dude, faster! What the hell are you doing? Are you freaking driving me or what? But he seemed to be too focused on driving me safely than getting our tasks done.

I’ll be doomed, I muttered under my breath.

I should have been to the airport! I should be welcoming Dannie baby!

If Georgie wasn’t pregnant, she would have insisted to drive me. And if Jackie was not too smitten to be glued to her husband’s side, she would be driving me. But she had been glued to Dean’s side for like forever since they got married two years ago. Like really, they should be pregnant by now but they weren’t!

Finally, we reached our destination: Calea. We had to pick up Dannie baby’s favorite cake. He hastily climbed off me and even dropped my freaking keys on his way to the door. What a klutz! He had to run back and pick them up and back into the café again.

I could only sigh in frustration. A young woman sitting in one of the tables outside witnessed what happened and smiled. Free entertainment, eh, lady?

Finally, after five minutes, he walked out with the boxed cake.

Careful now, careful! Let’s not ruin this day for my Dannie baby!

“Hey, excuse me…” the woman from the same table earlier called out to him. He turned and stopped.

Of course he would. She was a looker. “Yes?” he asked.

“Can I ask something?” The woman had already approached him and she was opening a piece of paper. “I’ve been looking for this address but I can’t seem to figure it out. The streets are quite complicated.”

He studied the address while holding the cake.

Hey, you, let’s go. Come on! We still have a lot to do!

“It’s two jeepneys away from here,” he explained and gave her more directions. “You should be able to find it there. Just look for the big blue building and you’ll see the street I am talking about,” he continued.

The lady smiled at him warmly. Her red lipstick bared her perfect white teeth. Her black dress gave off a sophisticated feel though she only paired it with dark flats and a brown leather body bag. “Thank you so much…”

“Lee, my name’s Lee.” He shook her hand with his free one.

“Nice to meet kind strangers around here. I’m actually from here but…well, things happened and yeah, I’m here again,” she said with a laugh. “Anyway, thank you once again. I’m Tessa, by the way.”

---

I was still deep in thought while we were driving back to Troy’s place after Lee was done with the errands. That lady’s face looked kind of familiar, you know. And her name. Was it just coincidence?

Well, yeah, maybe. Who knew, right?

My thoughts of that encounter outside Calea flew out my windows when Dannie baby arrived with the others. Oh holy gas she looked prettier than the last time I saw her!

Troy must have been taking good care of her!

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Georgie was shouting while they entered the house. Jordan had been sort of overprotective lately since she had a bleeding episode last two weeks ago. They said the doctor wanted her to be more careful. And she was more careful, but it was better that Jordan was there. Better be sure than sorry!

“And you’ve been just taking pictures for the last two years?” Dean was asking Troy.

“Well, people paid for most of them,” he answered before helping Dannie baby with their luggage.

“His blog is doing pretty great,” she bragged.

“Yeah, we saw it,” Jackie sighed.

“Hey, who’s doing the barbecue?” asked Miguel.

“Us, of course,” Lee replied from the door, meeting Dannie baby. “Welcome back, sister.”

She slapped him before he was able to embrace her.

“What? You’re our sister. You’re marrying our brother in spirit,” he waved to Troy.

“If I haven’t seen you in two years, I would have smacked your face,” Troy uttered before giving him a bear hug. “Now, do the barbecue. We’re hungry.”

“Hey, Toto,” Dannie baby said to me, finally having noticed my overpowering presence.

Dannie baby! I miss you so much! Come, come, give me a hug!

She touched my hood with a bittersweet smile on her face.

Come on, let’s just be happy for now!

“I missed him so much,” she whispered to herself.

“Well, who wouldn’t? This old car has been your life in so many ways,” Troy said beside her. “Come on. Go freshen up. We had a long flight.”

Then they all disappeared inside. I heard their laughter from outside. If Victor aka Vicky, Tata and Beatle were not there, I would have cried all my gas out. I would have emptied my tank right there and then. But lucky me, I was still with friends—even though my fate was sort of doomed.

---

“Should we at least talk about how you proposed?” Jackie asked when they were finally done catching up. Food was being prepared by everyone and it was such a nice atmosphere to be in, Dannie thought. But of course, you would have to give it to Jackie to dig every detail.

“It is nothing romantic, really,” Dannie finally said.

“It was intended to be romantic,” Troy contradicted.

“He did it while I was in class. I was writing something on the board and when I turned around, all the children were holding up these small pieces of paper asking me to marry them in different languages.”

Everyone laughed.

“Marry me, not them,” Troy corrected.

“The papers, at least those I could understand, read MARRY ME. Who were holding the papers? The children. So, apparently, they asked me to marry them.”

Jackie was bent over her knees laughing.

“You should have thought about how Dannie would take it, man.”

Troy was looking glum. “She still said yes when I suddenly appeared. Duh.”

Dannie laughed and hugged him. “Well, that’s the story, Jackie. You have asked me that question so many times over FB and I recounted the event as much.”

“She’s still hoping there’s a better version,” Dean guffawed. Troy playfully kicked him.

“Okay, okay, guys…please, help us out here!” Miguel shouted from the kitchen. “Someone needs to start the fire outside!”

One by one, the men started to gather outside, talking and laughing together, sharing stories they had missed or wanted to recount.

“We missed you so much, Dannie,” Jackie said with tears in her eyes.

“Don’t cry again. You already cried a bucket at the airport,” she told her friend.

“She might be pregnant,” George said, looking at Jackie meaningfully.

“No, I don’t think so. She’s always been this way,” Dannie disagreed.

“So, we’re planning another wedding,” George uttered with a satisfied beam, caressing her bulging belly with one hand.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Dannie couldn’t help the smile that lit up her face.

“I am so happy that you’re very happy,” Jackie cried some more.

“He makes me happy.” Dannie tilted her head to where Troy was.

Her two friends chuckled. “Who would have thought it’s gonna be him all along?” George asked in wonder.

“No one, I guess. No one really had any idea,” Jackie agreed.

Dannie didn’t say anything. Maybe the people around them never put any thought on it, but somehow, in their own time, she and Troy knew all along.

---

My amazing friends and I were talking about how much we missed the old apartment. We had to leave after Jackie got married (I was still the bridal car, you know) and Dannie had to leave for India. Jam was still there and I would still be driven there by Jackie from time to time if she ever missed the place and she just made visiting Jam an excuse for checking out the place again. It was the place where Dean proposed to her, after all.

While I was narrating how far we had come from that day Dean sang the song Ordinary Song to Jackie to propose to her while standing on Tata’s rear playing the song with his band outside the apartment, my three beautiful boys came close to me. They were wearing those bittersweet smiles of theirs again.

I have a bad feeling, guys, I said to my friends.

And then Lee appeared from behind them, his grin from ear to ear.

YEP, I DEFINITELY SHOULD START MY ENGINE AND ROLL AWAY NOW.

“So we are finally letting him go, right?” Jackie asked, her tears flowing once more.

“Well, we can’t just leave him parked to rust,” Georgie said.

“But we still need him for my wedding,” Dannie added.

“That can be arranged, boys,” Lee said behind them.

The three women in my life looked at each other and nodded.

Jackie opened her hand and revealed three sets of keys.

I was literally heartbroken at that moment. But then they were right. I should have seen this coming, right?

“No one deserves him more than us, but you’re the best other option,” Georgie told him as Jackie finally dropped the keys in his hand.

“Remember your promise, Lee,” Dannie seriously said. “Toto will be mine for a day on my wedding day.”

Lee was grinning nonstop. Holy Volks, why him? Why not Jam? Oh, yeah, he has Nomad. But doesn’t he want a car with a room? Why does it have to be Lee?

Vicky reassured me that everything was going to be alright. Lee was part of the famiy. He would always be around my boys. And he was the only one without a car at the moment so he was really the best option.

But he better learn how to drive properly. AND FAST!

“Wanna take him for a test drive?”

“I already did this morning,” Lee answered Georgie.

“We still want to see how you give him justice.” Dannie pushed him toward me and he climbed inside with a bit of apprehension.

He very slowly reversed me out of the garage and into the road.

My boys followed us outside.

Then I realized. Vicky was right. They would still be around and they would always be around as long as Lee was alive so I better keep this man breathing from now on.

Georgie waved for Lee to go further away and he did so by stepping on my gas.

From my rearview mirror, I could see my boys. One was pregnant and proud, one crying to see me go and the other contentedly smiling.

All were happy and that was enough for me.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

Hi!

If you are new to my works, you may want to know that I now focus mainly on historical romance stories for a couple of years now. If you enjoy works like Bridgerton, feel free to hop into the worlds of the Town and Sutherland!

All my stories (and the series they belong to) can be found on the Reading Lists on my profile. 

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Cheers!

J.D. Ruiz