About The Story

This is the story of Yanyan from Irrefutably Yours. It’s part of the ‘Yours Series’ aka med series. 

Will include some medical terms and whatnots. It’s not my strongest suit. Just comment if you find anything wrong and I’ll gladly edit it. Thanks!

Also, currently updating in Patreon. Will start uploading chapters here once it’s finished there. Thank you! 

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Chapter 00

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY00 Chapter 00

“It’s not you, it’s me?” diretsong sabi ko habang muling nilalagyan ng refill iyong wine glass ko. “Or… ‘I’m just not looking for something serious right now?’ O baka naman ’we’re just at different places on our lives?”

Nang halos mapuno iyong wine glass ko, tumingin ako sa lalaki sa harapan ko. Stephen—what was his name again? I didn’t even bother to remember. Alam ko naman na dito rin kami dadating.

And I was right.

“Julienne—”

“Just tell me if I got it right,” I said with a fixed smile on my face. “So? Nakuha ko ba kung ano ang sasabihin mo?”

Napa-abot na rin si Stephen sa wine sa harapan niya. Pinanood ko kung paano niya halos maubos iyon.

“Please don’t make this much harder than it already is,” he said, sounding as if it’s hurting him.

“We’ve been dating for a month,” I informed him. “There’s no attachment here whatsoever. Just please tell me kung ano ang dahilan mo.”

Hindi agad siya nagsalita. I wanted to leave already, but I also wanted to know. The reasons I stated earlier were the common reasons kung bakit ako iniiwan… Maybe Stephen here would surprise me, I didn’t know.

It’s not as if I was needed someplace else.

Oh, shit!

“So?” sabi ko sa kanyang muli. “Is it the usual it’s not you, it’s me ?”

“Julienne—”

“Just please answer,” I said, cutting him off.

Napa-buntung-hininga siya. “Yes. It’s me. The problem is me. I’m just busy with—”

Pero natigilan siya nang tumayo ako. I got my wallet from my bag and left a blue bill. Dalawang baso ng wine lang naman ang ininom ko. I already had the idea that this was coming. Ni hindi na ako kumain ng dinner dahil baka masuka pa ako sa sobrang asar.

“It was nice while it lasted, Stephen,” I said with a small smile before walking out of the restaurant. Agad akong lumabas at dumiretso sa sasakyan ko. I started the car, but I couldn’t bring myself to drive.

“Ano ba? Ano ba ang plano mo sa ’kin, Lord?!” malakas na tanong ko habang naka-tingin sa itaas. “Kasal na lahat ng kapatid ko; may pamilya na lahat ng pinsan ko! Napaka-rami ko ng inaanak! Pati best friend ko na sobrang intimidating nakapag-asawa at may anak na rin! Naiwanan na ako!”

Halos ihampas ko iyong ulo ko sa manibela.

“Kung may plano ka, Lord, pwedeng pakibilisan naman? Naiinip na ako…”

Ano ba kasi talaga?

Or maybe fault ko?

Karma ba ’to?

When I was younger, I used to toss guys like I was changing clothes. I mean, wala namang masama roon. Sinasabi ko naman sa kanila na hindi ako naghahanap ng pangseryoso. I just wanted to have fun then—sobrang nakaka-stress kasi iyong nursing at med school.

I just needed someone who’d help me alleviate the stress.

But that was ages ago!

32 years old na ako!

Gusto ko nang magpakasal. Gusto ko nang magka-anak. I was tired of going home to an empty condo. I wanted to go home to someone—iyong makaka-usap ko tungkol sa nangyari sa araw ko.

Binabaan ko na nga iyong standards ko!

I wasn’t looking for someone smoking hot anymore! Gusto ko na lang iyong disenteng tignan at saka mabait. Really, I only needed someone who’d treat me right.

But even that seemed like too much of a requirement anymore.

Fuck this life.

My phone vibrated while I was self-pitying.

“What?”

“Di ka talaga pupunta?”

“Huh?”

“Birthday ni Nini ngayon?”

“Oh, shit, oo nga pala!”

“Napaka-walang kwentang ninang mo talaga, Yanyan,” sabi ni Niles. Ramdam ko na iyong pag-irap niya dito pa lang.

“Shut up, bitch. Parang hindi ako nag-aalaga sa anak niyo tuwing gusto niyong mag La Union ni Marcus,” I answered while finally driving out of the parking lot. I opened the music and played something soothing. Birthday nga pala ni Nini tapos badtrip ako. ’Di naman niya kasalanan na hindi marriage material ang ninang niya.

Gusto ko na rin ng baby.

Magpa-buntis na lang kaya ako? Kaso sigurado ako itatakwil ako ng buong angkan ko. Ang hirap naman ng nasa sobrang religious family ka.

Pagdating ko sa bahay nila Niles, nakita ko na may ilan pang sasakyan na naka-park. Kinuha ko sa backseat iyong regalo ko kay Nini.

“Ano? Afternoon iyong birthday—dinner na,” sabi ni Niles habang naka-pamewang.

“Pasalamat ka nga dumating ako,” sagot ko sa kanya. “Si Nini?”

“Na kay Marcus,” Niles replied. “Bakit ganyan itsura mo?”

“Wine nga,” I said, instead. Diretso akong pumasok sa bahay nila. Alam ko masamang mainggit… but damn, I wanted Niles’ life. Sure, ang hassle ng buhay niya before dahil sa sobrang expectation ng family niya sa kanya, but it seemed like it all worked out fine.

May asawa siya na hindi lang mabait, sobrang hot din.

May cute na cute siyang Nini.

Ang ganda ng bahay niya.

Promising career.

Ganda lang ang meron ako.

Pambihira naman!

I plopped down on the sofa. Medyo magulo sa bahay nila Niles. Marami ring naka-kalat na regalo. Mabuti na lang din pala at ngayon lang ako dumating dahil wala ako sa mood makipagkapwa tao ngayon.

“So… ano nangyari?” she asked after handing me the glass of wine.

“Duh. The usual.”

“Sino nga ulit?”

“Stephen,” I said. Her forehead remained creased. “The chef?”

“Oh…”

Hindi na siya nagsalita. Everything’s been said already. Ilang beses na ’tong nangyari. Pagod na rin siguro si Niles sa akin.

“Sobrang unlovable ko siguro talaga,” I said as I sipped my wine.

“Baliw,” she replied. “Ayos lang ’yan. Kaysa naman magsettle ka sa hindi mo naman talaga gusto, ’di ba? Mas mahirap ’yun.”

“Alam mo, minsan, kailangan mo talagang magsettle.”

“Hindi rin. Kung nagsettle ako, e ’di wala akong Marcus ngayon?”

I rolled my eyes. “E hindi naman lahat magkakaroon ng Marcus?!”

Minsan, ang sarap talagang saktan nitong si Nileen, e! Feel niya ba lahat ng babae ay magiging blessed enough para magkaroon ng asawa na doctor na may abs?! Feeling niya ba talaga ay nangyayari sa lahat ng tao ’yun?!

Sarap saktan talaga!

Natawa siya. “Duh? Wala ka talagang Marcus kasi sa ’kin ’yun. What I mean is, magkakaroon ka ng sa ’yo—just wait.”

“32 years na akong naghihintay?”

“Gawin nating 33 years.”

“Pota ka talaga.”

Tumawa siya. “Pero seriously, Yan, mas okay na maghintay ka. Don’t settle for someone na hindi mo talaga gusto. Naghahanap ka lang ng bato na ipupukpok sa ulo mo.”

I sighed and rested my head against the sofa.

“Kakapagod na maghintay.”

I felt Niles resting her head against my shoulder. “Better than committing with someone na napilitan ka lang? Hirap magising araw-araw tapos makikita mo ’yung tao na ’di mo naman talaga gusto? Kilala kita—napaka-maldita mo pa naman. Kawawa iyong lalaki sa ’yo.”

I groaned. “Maybe that’s the reason. Napaka-maldita ko.”

“Siguro. Bawasan mo ng konti.”

“And masyado raw akong honest.”

“Nothing with that naman—siguro choose your moments lang.”

“Cocky din daw ako.”

“Insecure lang siguro iyong lalaki,” Niles replied, being the best friend that she is.

“Sobrang cold ko rin daw. In my defense, ’di talaga ako nakakapagcheck ng phone madalas dahil sa work,” I said. Swerte na talaga ni Niles kay Marcus dahil nasa pareho silang field. Bilib nga ako sa dalawa na ’to, e. Minsan ’di talaga sila nag-aabot, pero naiintindihan nila.

Sa kanila talaga ako napapa-sabi ng ‘sana all.’

“Yan—”

“Who… the fuck is that?” tanong ko nang mabaling ang atensyon ko sa pinanggalingan ng boses ni Nini. My eyes automatically looked for Nini dahil gusto kong makita ang ka-cute-an niya…

But instead, I saw who was probably the most attractive guy I’d ever laid my eyes on—and that was saying something because I know a lot of hot doctors.

“Sino?”

“Sino ba nandun? Malamang hindi si Marcus at Nini,” naiirita na sabi ko kay Niles dahil ang tagal niyang sagutin iyong tanong ko.

“Ah… Si Levi?”

“What the hell, Niles?! May kakilala ka na ganyan ka-gwapo tapos hindi mo sinasabi sa akin?! What are friends for?!”

Kumurap-kurap siya na para bang nabigla sa sinabi ko. “What?”

“Ang gwapo,” I hissed.

“Paano ko ipapa-kilala sa ’yo e lagi kang may dine-date?”

“Wag mo ngang ibaling sa akin ang sisi!”

Tumawa siya. “Wag na ’yan, Yan. Mukhang ’di interesado sa hina-hanap mo ’yang si Levi.”

“What? Why not?!” I groaned.

“Pilot, e. ’Di ba kapag pilot—”

I stood up.

Kinuha ko iyong regalo. I fixed my hair and straightened the imaginary crease on my skirt. Mabuti na lang maganda ako ngayon—I fixed myself up. Motto ko kasi ay ma-dump man ako, importante ay maganda pa rin ako.

“Nini, here’s your gift,” I said as I walked towards Marcus who was carrying Nini. Hindi ako tumingin doon sa kay Levi na kausap ni Marcus—kunwari ay hindi ko siya nakita.

“Marcus, sorry, I’m late,” I continued. “Nagscrub in pa kasi ako sa emergency operation ni Dr. Santiago.”

Marcus nodded, his forehead creased a little. Napa-tingin ako sa gawi ni Niles at nakita ko na natatawa na naiiling siya. Well, screw her—masaya na siya! Ako, kailangan kong gumalaw kung gusto ko ring sumaya.

Ibinaling ko ang tingin ko na para bang ngayon ko lang siya nakita.

“Oh, I’m sorry—I didn’t see you there,” I said with my most gracious tone—also sporting a hint of small smile.

Levi flashed me his smile.

Fuck.

Ang gwapo.

And he smelled so fucking nice…

That’s my weakness.

“No problem,” he said.

I wanted to introduce myself… but that’s what I usually did with the other guys. I introduced myself, and I initiated the conversation.

Hindi ngayon.

This guy…

He’s too hot para magaya sa mga nangyari dati.

I threw Marcus a look.

“Levi, Yanyan—”

“Julienne,” I interjected.

Napaawang ang labi ni Marcus at bahagyang natawa. “Julienne,” pagtatama niya. “She’s my co-worker,” pagpapa-tuloy ni Marcus. “Levi here is a pilot.”

“Nice meeting you,” Levi said, offering his hand.

I looked at him, smiled a little, and then shook his hand.

Nice to meet you, too. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 01

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY01 Chapter 01

“Third date niyo na, right? So… kamusta?” Niles asked, wiggling her brows in the process.

“Huh?” tanong ko habang mine-make-sure na perfect iyong makeup ko.

“I mean is he good?” she asked with a grin.

“Kapag ako nagtatanong sa sex life niyo ni Marcus, nagwo-walkout ka? Tapos kapal ng mukha mong magtanong ngayon?” I asked and she just rolled her eyes.

“Duh, hindi naman kasi talaga ako nagkukwento ng ganon. Ikaw naman ’yung laging nagshe-share nung ganon kahit hindi ako nagtatanong,” she explained. “So? Kamusta?”

Hindi ako sumagot. I instead stared at the 3 lipsticks in front of me. Ano ba’ng shade ang maganda? Iyong alluring pero hindi masyado? Iyong sakto lang?

“So? Julienne? Ano na?”

“Secret.”

“Incapable ka kaya sa pagtatago ng secret kapag ganon.”

“Well, malay mo ba na changed person na siguro ako.”

“In 3 weeks, changed person? Asa ka pa.”

“Hater.”

“Dali na kasi,” she said, groaning. “Gusto ko ng chismis ngayon.”

“Kulang pa ba ang ginagawa natin dito sa ospital at bored ka pa rin?”

“Ano na nga kasi? Daming sinasabi,” she said. “3rd date niyo na so malamang sa malamang—”

“Walang nangyayari, okay?”

Her jaw dropped. I rolled my eyes. Ang OA!

“What?! For reals?!” she asked and I just nodded as I applied my nude lipstick. “What? Bakit? Paano? Huh?!”

“Gago ka ba? Feeling mo nakikipagsex ako sa lahat ng nakaka-date ko?” She nodded. My lips parted. “Gago.”

She blinked her eyes in disbelief. “E lagi ka kasing nagkukwento!”

“Syempre ang sinasabi ko lang sa ’yo kapag okay iyong date—e hindi naman lahat ng date okay. Saka tingin mo sa ’kin tahong? Bubuka kapag nainitan?”

Agad na namula ang mukha niya. “Ano ba, Yanyan!”

I rolled my eyes. “Arte.”

She cleared her throat. “Pero… seriously, what’s happening?” she asked, sounding much more serious this time. “Nung huli kitang naka-usap talaga, nung birthday pa ni Nini. Bigla kang nagpakilala kay Levi. Tapos lagi kang busy. Tapos ngayon, ito? What’s happening?”

Hindi agad ako sumagot sa kanya. I finished applying subtle highlighter on my face. Hindi ko na kailangan ng contour dahil grabe na ang jawline ko. Dahil talaga ’to sa hindi na ako nakaka-kain nang maayos na pagkain simula nang pumasok ako sa nursing. Puro stress! Dati napaka-linis kong tao… ’Di ko alam kung saang parte ng buhay ko ako nagsimulang mag-iba ng landas.

“Nothing’s happening,” sabi ko kay Niles. I looked at my reflection once again. Perfect. Sobrang subtle ng makeup lang. Nanood pa ako ng tutorial para sa no makeup makeup look na ’to.

“But?” she asked.

“But… I think kaya lagi akong na-da-dump before ay dahil na rin fault ko—”

“I told you it’s better—”

“To wait for the perfect guy?” I asked, cutting her off. “He is the perfect guy, Niles. Seriously. Nung una, I thought he was just hot—but he’s also smart and a very good conversationalist. I just really like him. And I thought that if I acted like how I acted in my past relationships, maybe I’d scare him away…”

Then I paused.

And smiled a little.

“You really like him…” Niles whispered in awe.

Tumango ako. “Yes. So… if that means that I get to keep some honest comments to myself, or that I should check my phone more often or that I should forget to mention some of my achievements? Then so be it.”

I just… I really like the guy.

“What about him?” Niles asked.

“What?”

“What if magustuhan ka nga niya? But then hindi naman talaga ikaw ’yan?”

I shrugged.

I’d cross the bridge when I get there.

“Nasa labas na siya,” I said when my phone vibrated. Kinuha ko iyong bag ko sa locker. I looked at my reflection once more. At least hindi halata na puyat ako, as usual.

I looked at Niles. “Wish me luck,” I said, smiling as I began to walk.

Panay ang hinga ko nang malalim. I kept on reminding myself to watch my words dahil baka kung anong mean comment na naman ang masabi ko sa harap ni Levi. I just couldn’t help it sometimes. I see death everyday—kaya as much as possible, ayoko talagang nagsisinungaling kasi what if last day ko na pala? Tapos kasinungalingan pa ang lumabas sa bibig ko?

Ugh.

Ang ironic.

My pace began to slow down when I saw Levi standing beside his black convertible. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, white Lacoste polo shirt, and white sneakers. Sobrang gandang tignan ng braso niya sa polo shirt. My God.

I stopped for a while to appreciate the view.

‘Konting pagpapanggap pa, Yanyan,’ I reminded myself. ‘He’ll eventually fall for you… And when he’s finally in love, pwede mo nang unti-unting ipakilala kung sino ka talaga.’

Wala naman sigurong masama doon…

Ako pa rin naman ’to…

Malay ko ba kung deep inside me, ganoon talaga ako?

“Hi,” I said as I approached him. He looked at me, and I saw the approval on his eyes. I was wearing a fitted black jeans, pastel yellow halter neck top, and matching yellow ballet flats. Hinayaan ko lang na naka-lugay iyong bagong Brazilian blowdry na shoulder length na buhok ko dahil wala akong time na mag-ayos pa ng buhok araw-araw.

“Hi,” he replied, kissing me on the cheek. Tumalon yata iyong matres ko nang lumapit siya. Ang bango niya talaga. Napaka-hirap labanan ng tukso.

Sometimes, gusto ko na lang tigilan iyong pagpapaka-demure at itulak siya sa backseat ng sasakyan niya and to just… devour him! He’s just so… edible.

Yup.

That’s the word.

Hindi ko pa siya niyan nakikita sa pilot uniform niya. Ayoko rin. Kasi sure ako hindi na ako makakapagpigil talaga!

“Dinner and then last full show?” he asked. I just nodded and smiled. He showed me his phone. Iyon pala iyong tinitignan niya. For a second, akala ko ay may ka-text siyang flight attendant or something. “Here are the movies tonight,” he continued, showing me the list of the movies.

I saw one horror movie na gusto kong panoorin. I like watching horror movies—mas kadiri, mas gusto ko. Kaya lang ay baka opposite siya sa demure image na pinapakita ko kay Levi.

“Kahit ano na lang,” I said, smiling at him.

“Okay,” he replied in his baritone voice.

God.

Help me tonight.

Levi, being the gentleman that he is, opened the door for me. Lagi niya iyong ginagawa. Ewan ko ba. Minsan hinihiling ko na sana ay bawasan niya naman ang pagiging gentleman dahil nahihirapan ako. Sana bastusan niya naman nang kaunti.

Ni hindi niya pa ako nahahalikan!

Kung pwede lang, ako na ang hahalik sa kanya, kaya lang ay iba iyon sa role na pino-portray ko. I needed to calm my horses. Be demure. Be the woman he’d want to bring home to introduce to his family—not the woman he’d bring home to fuck and then toss the next day. Nagawa mo na ’yan. Upgrade na ngayon.

Tama yan, Yanyan. Look at the bigger picture. Kalmahan mo lang. Pasasaan ba at mahahalikan mo rin ’yang piloto na ’yan.

Levi looked so good while he was driving… Maybe he’d look even better kapag ako na iyong—

‘Yanyan, for the love of God!’ I admonished myself.

“Are you okay?” Levi asked when I began to fan myself. Bigla akong nainitan sa imagination ko! I was just so frustrated! 3 dates na pero ni hindi niya pa ako hinahalikan. Tama naman si Niles—minsan nga first date pa lang naghohomerun na agad ako, e. But this was different. I should behave. Dapat si Levi ang magmisbehave!

“Y-yeah…” I said with an uneasy smile as I crossed my legs. God… Being in the same car as him was making me extremely horny. He looked so good. I wanted to have car sex with him. This was torture.

“Better?” he asked pagkatapos niyang babaan iyong temperature ng aircon. I just nodded and smiled kahit na alam ko naman kung ano talaga ang makaka-tulong sa akin. God. How easy it would be to just ask him to pull over and have a quickie here.

No, Yanyan.

Be demure.

Pangmatagalan dapat ’to.

We went to Greenbelt and headed straight to a restaurant. Napapa-irap na lang ako sa isip ko kapag may napapa-tingin na mga babae sa kanya. Ang gwapo kasi talaga! And it frustrated me more na iyang gwapo na ’yan ay hindi ko pa rin nahahalikan!

Such torture!

“Are you ready to order?” the waiter asked.

Levi began to order. Ni hindi siya tumingin doon sa menu. He said those hard to pronounce names of food with such ease. My panties twisted a little when he said a French word. Agad akong napa-abot ng tubig dahil sa uhaw ko sa kanya.

“How about you, Ma’am?” tanong sa akin nung lalaki.

“Salad and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc,” I replied with a small smile.

“You sure? Just salad?” tanong sa akin ni Levi.

I nodded. “I’m not really hungry,” sagot ko. Kumain ako ng malaking burger kanina sa duty. Ayoko kasing pumunta sa date namin ng gutom dahil baka kung ano ma-order ko.

“We can share the steak if you change your mind,” Levi said with a grin.

I laughed. “I’ll probably take you up on your offer,” I replied with a smile still fixed on my face. God… The way he was smiling at me, gusto ko na lang siyang hatakin sa CR and do things to him. I crossed my legs once more, and called the waiter to refill the water. Good God!

“Levi?” Sabay kaming napa-tingin sa pinanggalingan ng boses. There was a guy standing before us. “You’ve been dodging our—” he said and then stopped when he saw me. “Oh. You’re on a date.”

Levi nodded, and looked at me. I smiled at him. “Dino, Julienne,” he said. “Julienne, Dino, a family friend.”

I smiled at Dino and greeted him. This was a good sign, right? At least pinakilala niya ako… Wala nga lang description. Ano nga ba kasi ako? Kahit naman ako hindi ko alam!

“Nice,” Dino commented. “Turned a new leaf, I see.”

“Dino,” Levi said with a small glare on his face.

Tumawa iyong lalaki. Dino raised both his hands as if he’s defeated. “Fine, fine,” he said, backing away a little. “Just thought I’d say hi. I’m on a business dinner, so I’ll leave you two be,” he continued, and looked at me and smiled. “Nice to meet you—”

“Julienne,” I said.

“Julienne,” he repeated. “Keep a tight leash around him,” sabi niya sabay kindat. I laughed a little, and when I returned my attention to Levi, he was frowning a little.

“He seems nice,” I commented.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“What? He’s fine,” sagot ko.

The waiter brought our food. Agad na kinuha ni Levi iyong wine niya at ininom iyon. It seemed like seeing his friend stressed him out.

“Are you okay?” I asked because he already finished the glass. Usually naman ay hindi nauubos ni Levi iyong wine dahil ayaw niyang umiinom talaga kapag nagde-date kami dahil nagda-drive siya.

“Yeah,” he said in a clipped tone.

I nodded… but I really wanted to ask more. Kaya lang ay baka makulitan siya sa akin. Baka isipin niya masyado akong matanong. Baka isipin niya pakielamera ako.

So, I just smiled.

And finished my sad dinner.

---

I barely could even remember the movie we watched. I was so worried dahil parang may kakaiba kay Levi. Tsk! All this hard work tapos nasira lang dahil sa pagdating ng kaibigan niya. Ano ba’ng meron doon? Curiosity was killing me!

“Thanks for tonight,” I said when he pulled over in front of my condo. I unbuckled my seatbelt, and was about to open the door, when I heard him call my name. I looked at him. My eyes were questioning.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a conflicted tone.

“Huh? For what?” I asked kahit na kanina pa rin ako curious. Tsk! Ang hirap magpaka-demure!

“I was just…” he said. He paused a little, and then looked at me with those freaking hypnotizing eyes of his. “Worried when we saw Dino.”

“Why?” I asked, careful not to sound too curious. Chill lang dapat.

“I thought he’d tell you why he was so surprised to see me on a date.”

I pursed my lips, and just stared at him. I saw him combing his hair through his fingers. And then I saw his motherfucking Adam’s apple move. Oh, that shit’s unfair. He’s too sexy. I needed to leave this fucking confined space.

“I had a reputation,” he said, now looking me in the eye. I just stared back. I knew he had a reputation—sinabi naman na sa akin ni Niles nang una ko pa lang siyang makita.

I didn’t care, though.

I had a reputation, too.

Everyone has a reputation.

“I really didn’t want to commit,” he continued. “I was really focused on my work and I’m almost always out of the country, so it didn’t make sense to maintain a relationship.”

I nodded. “What changed?” I asked, staring right back at him. But maybe that was a freaking wrong idea dahil nang tumitig siya sa akin ay parang gusto ko na lang talaga siyang itulak sa backseat and to do bad things with him.

“You,” he said, cupping my cheek and caressing it with his thumb. “You unexpectedly came, and changed the game,” he continued before he leaned in and finally kissed me. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 02

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY02 Chapter 02

“Dr. Salvacion.”

“Yup?” I answered while my eyes were glued on the last text Levi sent me. Mamaya na iyong flight niya pabalik sa Manila from London. I badly wanted to ask him to send me a selfie na topless siya, but I was afraid na baka matakot siya sa akin. This was really his fault! Nang hinalikan niya ako, nahawakan ko iyong tiyan niya—and the man has abs! I just wanted to visualize it dahil visual learner ako!

“Nandito po ’yung magulang ni Lynne, nag-a-ask ng update sa surgery niya.”

‘See you when I get back,’ was his last text. Nandito na kaya siya? Gaano nga ulit katagal ang flight mula London to Manila?

I drew a deep breath. I needed to me more chill. Hindi ako pwedeng maging praning o clingy. Levi said it himself—the reason why never pa siyang nagka-relationship ay dahil hindi pa siya ready sa ganoong klaseng commitment. And I wasn’t about to be clingy! Mamaya matakot sa akin ’yun, e!

Thankfully, my work kept me busy. I also kinda liked the interns this year, so less hassle na ’yun. Minsan kasi nakaka-irita iyong iba na know-it-all. E intern ka pa nga. You’re supposed to listen and learn kasi buhay ng tao ang nakasalalay dito. You couldn’t just make mistakes and say that you’re sorry. ’Di naman maibabalik niyan ang buhay na nawala.

I finally found the balance dahil ayoko na maging masyadong masungit to the point na natatakot sila sa akin, but then again ayoko rin na maging masyadong lenient na maging masyado naman silang comfortable. I just needed to be in between—kagaya nung sa amin ni Levi.

Damn him, bakit ’di pa siya nagtetext?!

I knew now iyong mga sinasabi ng ex ko na ang cold ko raw. Nakaka-praning pala talaga kapag ’di nagtetext sa ’yo!

“What—”

I stopped midway nang makita ko si Levi sa hallway ng hospital. I was already ready to go home dahil tapos na iyong duty ko. Sobrang uwing-uwi na ako at gusto ko na talagang matulog. I was tired and I also didn’t want to spend my time wondering kung magtetext ba siya or what. Ayokong maging praning talaga—not a good look.

“Surprise?” he asked with a little smile on his face. His smile… sobrang cute talaga na hindi ko ma-explain. It’s like there’s a hint of mischief, but also, he looked like a real gentleman.

Ayusin mo, Yanyan! Mahirap na maka-hanap ng ganyan ulit.

“Kaka-land mo lang?” I asked.

He nodded. Sabay kaming naglakad. He was a certainly taller than me dahil hanggang balikat niya lang ako. He definitely could carry me kung magme-makeout—

Seriously, though! Bakit ko ba tino-torture nang ganito ang sarili ko?!

“Dinner?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” I replied. Natawa siya. “Why?” I asked, my forehead creased a little.

“I never thought you actually get hungry—you’re always eating salad when we eat out,” he said. Namula ang mukha ko. He smiled at me. “You can definitely order anything, you know? I won’t judge.”

I frowned. “Talaga?”

He nodded. “Yup,” he said. “Burger and fries for dinner?” he asked. “How unhealthy do you wanna be tonight?”

Hindi ko napigilang matawa.

Damn.

Hot and funny.

Levi and I went to a burger joint. I ordered a large burger, a bucket of fries for us to share, a platter of onion rings, and bottled water.

“What?” I asked as I helped myself to the onion rings. Favorite ko ’to, e!

“Nothing,” he said, smiling as he gently shook his head.

“8 hours ’yung surgery ko and ngayon pa lang ako kakain,” I reasoned out.

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

I frowned. “Ang dami kong order, e.”

“You wanna add more?”

I frowned harder and he laughed at me. There were cute wrinkles beside his eyes kapag tumatawa siya. I also really liked iyong nunal sa gilid ng mata niya. “You eat na rin,” I said.

I ignored all the eyes which were staring at the guy I was eating with. Bahala kayong mamatay d’yan sa inggit. He’s with me. And basta aayusin ko lang ang attitude ko, he’d be mine na talaga. I just needed to be patient. I mean, ’di naman talaga ako totally nagpapanggap. Ako pa rin naman ’to—I just toned down the attitude a little—malay ba nila kung changed person na talaga ako.

“So, what did you do sa London?” I asked while I we were finishing the fries—or more like ako lang iyong kumakain. Napansin ko na ’di niya kinain iyong buns nung burger at iyong veggies at patty lang ang kinain niya. Healthy eating pala. Noted ’yan. Magpapaka-pescatarian nga ako for a while.

“Slept in,” he replied.

“What? ’Yun lang?”

“Yeah. Been there a couple of times already.”

“Sayang naman.”

He shrugged. “You’ve been there?” he asked.

I shook my head. “My parents are not fan of travelling,” I said. Takot yata silang dalawa, ewan ko ba. Never kaming nagtravel as a family kaya never akong nakapagtravel nung bata ako. It’s not as if problema sa pera kasi meron naman—ayaw lang nila talaga. “Then when I was old enough, I got busy with school naman hanggang ayun, naka-tira na yata ako sa hospital.”

“But you wanna travel?” he asked.

“Of course!” sagot ko.

I wanna go to Europe, specifically. I wanna go to Spain and Paris and Germany and Amsterdam and Switzerland! Basta, ang dami kong gustong puntahan! ’Di lang ako maka-alis dahil wala akong kasama. Si Niles sana kaso ang gaga, lumandi agad pagka-pasa namin ng boards! Nawalan tuloy ako ng travel buddy dapat.

Sumandal si Levi. “Maybe I’ll take you.”

I snorted. “Sure.”

“Why not? I’m a pilot.”

I arched my brow a little. “You are.”

“And I have privileges,” he said, sounding a little cocky and that made me cross my legs again. Damn him. Permanent mood ko na ba ang horny kapag nasa harap ko ang taong ’to?

“Where will you take me naman?” I asked, taunting him.

“My usual flight’s to London, but we can fly to Paris, if you really wanna go there. Then we can stroll around the Eiffel tower and then go see the Swiss Alps,” he said in a tone na para bang inaakit niya ako. My god…

I licked my lower lip. “Then?”

“Fly back to London because I still have a plane to fly,” he said, grinning a little.

I groaned and rolled my eyes at him. “Ha-ha.”

Tumawa siya. “What were you expecting, Julienne?”

I rolled my eyes again at kumain ng fries. He was laughing at me, so I playfully threw a piece of the fries at him. Tumawa lang siya. Ang unfair. Pati tawa nakaka-basa ng panty.

Pagbalik namin sa sasakyan niya, halos wala ng tao sa parking dahil anong oras na rin naman. I was busy putting on my seatbelt when I heard Levi calling my name. Humarap ako sa kanya, pero agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang halikan niya ako.

My heart began to quicken its pace.

Second time!

Better make this count!

I removed my hands from the seatbelt and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer if that was even possible. I badly wanted to thrust my tongue inside his mouth, but I stopped myself dahil baka magmukhang masyadong mapusok na ako kahit sa totoo lang, gusto ko nang kumandong sa kanya at tapusin na ’tong paghihirap na ’to!

We continued to kiss and damn, that kiss made it so hard to breathe dahil halos ayaw niyang bitiwan ang labi ko. I felt his hand on my back, caressing it. Gusto kong ipasok niya ang kamay niya sa shirt ko, but that would be too much.

Damn! Nothing’s too much! I really wanted to do him already! Fuck being demure! Nase-stress na ako talaga!

But then the bastard stopped kissing me.

Sabay kaming humingal.

“I really like you,” he said, tucking a portion of my hair behind my ear.

I smiled. “I really like you, too,” I replied, still panting because he fucking took my breath away.

He licked his lips and smiled back at me. “I wanna kiss you again, Julienne, but I’m afraid my patience is already wearing thin,” he said and then rested his back against the seat. He closed his eyes. My eyes automatically darted down.

Oh.

He’s hard.

I felt my throat drying.

‘No, don’t do that!’ I said to myself nang parang may sariling buhay ang mga kamay ko na gustong dakmain ’yun. ‘Tumigil ka, Yanyan!’

Saglit na ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at huminga nang malalim. I did the breathing exercise that I always do kapag napipikon na ako sa mga tao sa hospital at gusto ko na talagang manigaw.

“Julienne.”

Agad akong napa-tingin sa kanya. “Yeah?” I replied.

“I really wanna do it right this time,” he said.

I nodded and smiled. “That’s what I want, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I really like you and I wanna do this right, so if you wanna wait—”

But my words were cut off when once again, I felt him cupping my face and kissing me senseless again. I moaned when I felt his tongue in my mouth.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he said as I felt his tongue invading every crevice of my mouth.

I didn’t reply.

I wanted to beg him not to stop.

But I didn’t want to sound so… desperate.

So instead, I kissed him as much as he was kissing me. He pulled me until I was straddling him at saka niya ibinaba iyong backrest.

Fuck.

If we didn’t do it tonight, maybe I’d kill him! I couldn’t stop! Not now when I could feel his erection right against my center! Sasakalin ko talaga siya!

“Is it okay?” he asked when he was kissing my neck. I moaned when I felt him licking the back of my ear.

“W-What?” I asked in labored breathing.

“To do it here… In the car… I don’t want you to feel disres—”

But I didn’t let him finish dahil baka magbago ang isip niya. I immediately unbuckle his belt. He probably understood that I wasn’t feeling offended or disrespected—but I’d definitely feel angry kapag ’di ’to natuloy!

Levi finished unbuckling his belt and he pulled out his dick. My mouth watered. Fuck. I wanted to taste him, but I badly needed him more inside me.

“Are you sure?” he asked nang makita akong naka-titig sa ano niya. He probably thought I was thinking twice about what we’re about to do—little did he know that I was confused kung sa anong butas sa katawan ko ipapasok iyon.

But instead of answering, I placed my right hand on his shoulder for support and then used my left hand to part my panty aside as I lowered myself around him. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 03

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY03 Chapter 03

“Malandi ka talaga.”

“Kailan ba ako nagdeny?” naka-irap na sagot ko kay Niles matapos agawin iyong hawak niya na iced coffee.

“Hey!” angal niya.

“I need this more,” I said as I sipped.

“Sa sasakyan talaga, Yanyan? ’Di ka ba natatakot na makulong kayo ni Levi? My god!” sabi ni Niles na para bang na-eskandalo siya. Grabe naman! As if naman magsesex kami ni Levi sa sasakyan na naka-park sa harap ng hospital! ’Di pa naman ako nasisiraan ng ulo, noh. Mahal ko ang trabaho ko.

“Napaka-bastos ng utak mo, alam mo ’yun?”

“E ano’ng ginagawa niyo sa sasakyan? Binilang ko—mga 5 minutes na naka-park kayo ’dun.”

Natawa ako. “5 minutes?” I asked and then laughed again. As if enough iyong 5 minutes! Sure, siguro sa dati kong ginagawa, keri na iyong 5 minutes basta mawala lang iyong stress. Pero kay Levi? Foreplay lang ’yang 5 minutes na ’yan. So ayoko talaga ng quickie kasi mababadtrip lang din ako pagkatapos.

“Ano ngang nangyari?” kulit ni Niles sa akin.

“Wala nga.”

“Grabe, bakit naging mapagsikreto ka na, ha, Yanyan?”

“Dati ayaw mo nagku-kwento ako.”

“Aba, dati ’yun.”

“Masyado kang interested sa sex life ko, ha. ‘Di ka ba binibigyan ni Marcus?” I asked and Niles’ face reddened. ’Di pa rin nagbabago. May asawa at anak na e nahihiya pa rin sa ganitong topic!

“Busy si Marcus,” she said.

“Lagi namang busy ’yun,” I replied.

“Busy magalit kay Marian,” sabi ni Niles.

“Sus, ano ba’ng bago doon?” I asked, shrugging. I met that brat a couple of times already. Nakaka-stress kausap iyong batang ’yun! ’Di mo alam kung saan nanggagaling iyong attitude! Masarap nga talagang iintubate para hindi na makapagsalita, e.

“Sasabihin ko sa ’yo pero sabihin mo muna sa akin ano meron sa inyo ni Levi.”

I laughed. “As if naman interesado ako sa kadramahan ni Marian.”

“Yanyan naman!” reklamo ni Niles na parang bata. Napa-tingin tuloy sa amin iyong ibang residents. Nagsorry lang si Niles. “Sabihin mo na kasi! Serious na ba? As in serious na? Kasi 2 months na kayong magkasama lagi!”

Medyo kumunot ang noo ko. “Really? 2 months na ba?”

She nodded. “Right? Ang tagal na! So, totoo na ba ’to? As in for reals?”

I was thinking about the answer that I’d give Niles. 2 months na pala kami ni Levi. He told me he likes me the first time we had sex. Then he was really sweet nung nagpanic ako right after dahil nalimutan namin na magcondom siya. I mean, gusto ko na talagang magka-anak and mabuntis, pero fan ako ng family planning, ano! Kaya nga ayoko nung rotation ko sa OB kasi na-stress talaga ako sa mga unplanned and unwanted pregnancies. Gusto kong pagalitan iyong mga kay babata na nabuntis, but at the same time, victim lang din naman sila ng sitwasyon.

Hassle ng life!

“Hopefully,” I said.

“Have you met his friends?”

“Hindi pa.”

“His family?”

“Hindi pa.”

“Yanyan—”

“Wait. I met his friend,” I said dahil nakita ko iyong awa sa mukha ni Niles. I didn’t want her to think that I was being so reckless dahil hindi naman totoo iyon. For God’s sake, matanda na ako. Alam ko kung ano ang ginagawa ko. Hindi ako pinilit ni Levi. I dived in with my eyes wide open.

I fixed a smile. “May rounds pa ako. Laters!” sabi ko bago umiba ng direksyon. I was in no mood to feel pity. Hindi naman ako nakaka-awa. Ano naman kung hindi ako pinapa-kilala ni Levi sa mga friends niya? ’Di ko rin naman siya pinapa-kilala sa friends ko! Pasalamat siya friends niya na talaga sina Marcus at Niles dahil asa pa siyang ipapa-kilala ko siya.

After the rounds, I scrubbed in 2 surgeries. Nang matapos iyon ay pagod na ako at gusto ko na lang umuwi. Dumiretso na ako sa condo at naligo. I was ready to sleep when my phone vibrated.

‘Still up?’

‘Yup.’

‘At work?’

‘In bed.’

‘Pics or you’re lying.’

Natawa ako. Landi talaga. I sat down and took a provocative photo of myself—pero wala iyong mukha dahil mahirap na, no! May trust issues pa naman ako. Saka malay ko ba sa topak ni Levi. Mamaya biglang magulat na lang ako trending na ang pangalan ko sa social media.

‘How about you?’

‘At work.’

‘Pics or you’re lying.’

I bit my lip as I waited for him to send a pic. Lecheng Levi ’to! Nawala tuloy iyong antok ko! Gusto ko pa namang matulog na para maganda ang gising ko bukas.

Medyo natagalan iyong pagsend ni Levi ng picture kaya naman inayos ko muna iyong diffuser at nilagyan ng lavender oil para maka-tulog na ako agad. Habang nilalagyan ko ng oil iyong tubig, narinig ko iyong pagvibrate ng phone ko. Para akong si Superman sa bilis ng paglapit ko roon.

“Fuck,” I uttered to myself when he sent me a selfie of him in his pilot uniform. He was just looking at the camera—his face just serious but it was enough to get my panties in a twist.

Peste talaga!

Kung ’di lang ako nagpapanggap, kung as in pinakita ko kung sino ako sa kanya, malamang sa malamang nakikipagsext na ako sa kanya.

Good heavens!

‘Still there?’

‘Do you have a flight or what?’

‘Just landed.’

‘You know my address, right?’

‘Be there in 30. Drink coffee. It’ll be a long night.’

Excitement seeped through my system. Agad kong pinalitan iyong essential oil dahil baka maka-tulog kami ni Levi—which was impossible dahil sure ako na horny na rin siya. But I couldn’t take the chance! So, instead I put bamboo oil. Then I went to the bathroom and fixed myself up. Madalas naman kasing wala si Levi dahil sa work niya. Nagshe-shave lang ako ng legs kapag nagpaparamdam siya. Good thing na rin siguro kasi as long as alam ko na hindi shaved iyong legs ko, hindi siya bumubuka. At least nakaka-tulong siya sa agenda ko na pagiging demure—well, semi na lang dahil sa lahat ng nangyari sa sasakyan ni Levi.

I was looking for music to play when I heard a knock on the door. Itinawag ko na kanina sa lobby para maka-akyat na agad si Levi. Huminga ako nang malalim bago naglakad papunta sa pinto.

“You changed,” I pointed out nang instead na pilot uniform niya ang makita ko, naka-suot siya ng jeans and white shirt.

He laughed. “It’s dirty.”

I was still frowning. “Ano ’to?” I asked when he handed me a paper bag. After kong sabihin sa kanya na gusto kong pumunta sa Europe, nung nagka-flight siya pa-Paris, binili niya ako ng miniature Eiffel Tower statue. Naka-display ’yun sa kwarto ko. It’s nice to look at. It’s a reminder na hindi lang naman landian iyong sa aming dalawa.

“Chocolates.”

“Ooh. From Switzerland?”

He nodded as he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me close. “Next time, I’ll be in my uniform, okay?” Umirap ako. “But you have to wear your coat.”

Natawa ako. “Role play?”

“Maybe,” he said as he slowly leaned in and once again, took my breath away.

---

“Oh, my god, thank you,” I said nang makita ko na may pagkain na sa lamesa. I woke up late dahil sa dami ng ginawa naming dalawa. I wanted to eat dahil nagutom ako sa activities namin, but I woke up late! Akala ko kape na naman ang magiging pagkain ko hanggang magdinner.

“I just ordered,” he said, leaning in and planting a kiss on the top of my head. “You’re going to work?”

I nodded as I helped myself with the breakfast meal he ordered. Damn. Tamang-tama ’tong silog sa gutom ko! Plus iyong coffee. Sobrang heaven!

“Yup. Big day today,” I said. “Ikaw? Do you have flight?”

“No flight until next week,” he replied.

“Well, at least you can rest.”

“I definitely need rest after what happened last night.”

I just laughed. Pinigilan ko iyong sarili ko na tuksuhin siya. He begged me to give him a blowjob, but I restrained myself. At least may isang bagay pa ako na hindi nabibigay sa kanya. May leverage pa ako.

“Are you free on Sunday?”

“Why?” I asked.

“There’s a family thing—” sabi niya at mabilis akong inabutan ng baso ng tubig nang bigla akong mabulunan. “Are you okay?” he asked, pero hindi agad ako nakapagsalita dahil sa sobrang gulat. I concentrated on finishing the glass of water habang pilit na kinakalma ang sarili ko dahil sa narinig ko mula sa kanya.

Family?!

Ipapa-kilala niya na ba ako sa family niya?!

That meant… this was real, right?!

“If you don’t—”

“No, it’s okay,” I said, immediately cutting him off dahil baka magbago pa ang isip niya. Nagworry pa naman ako na baka dahil bumigay agad ako e isipin niya na hindi na ako wifey material. Wifey material pa rin naman ako! Mag-e-enroll naman ako sa cooking class once na ma-sure ko na magkaka-asawa na ako.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Yes,” I said. “I was just surprised.”

“Good surprised?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, leaning in and planting a kiss on his lips. “So… anything I need to know about your family?”

Hindi ako nagresearch tungkol sa pamilya ni Levi. All I knew was that his complete name is Leandro Aurelious V. Mejia—other than that, wala na akong alam. I mean, I was already overwhelmed sa existing knowledge ko about sa kanya, dadagdagan ko pa ba?! Baka ’di na ako nakapagsalita sa harap niya, if ever.

“You’ll love my grandma,” he said. “Well, I hope you’ll love her.”

I smiled a little. So, he’s a grandma’s boy.

“What else? Any topic to avoid?”

“Well, my mom’s generally interested in interior designing, so just talk about that and you’ll be fine. My dad’s a big sports fan, so if you know anything about basketball or whatever sports, you’ll be fine,” sabi niya at nagpatuloy sa mga pwede kong sabihin.

At the end of it, napa-tulala na lang ako.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yup,” I said, popping the p as I stood up and went to the CR to brush my teeth. Naka-titig ako sa salamin habang nagsesepilyo. Nakita ko na lumapit sa akin si Levi at tumayo sa likod ko.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” he asked. I nodded while still brushing my teeth. “Because if you’re not, then you can skip my lola’s birthday.”

My lips parted.

Oh, my god.

He’s a lola’s boy tapos dadalhin niya ako sa birthday ng lola niya?!

I looked up and closed my eyes.

‘Finally, Lord,’ I whispered to the heavens. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 04

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY04 Chapter 04

“Okay na kasi ’yan,” Niles said. “Sobrang conservative mo nang tignan d’yan, Yanyan.”

“Sure ka ba?” I asked as I stared at myself at the mirror. I was wearing a baby pink collared dress. Mayroon naman akong ballet flats kaya lang ay parang gusto ko ring bumili ng bago ngayon. I wanted to make a good impression sa family ni Levi. “As in okay ’to?”

Niles nodded again as she gave me thumbs up. “Mukha kang ka-galang-galang d’yan.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sabi mo conservative ang family ni Levi, ’di ba? So I need to look very presentable.”

Sumandal si Niles at saka nagcross arms. Naiinis na siguro sa ’kin ’to. Hinila ko siya papunta sa mall dahil kailangan ko na talagang bumili ng damit. Yesterday sana kaya lang ay hindi ako naka-alis dahil biglang kinailangan ako buong araw. Ang sama ko naman if iuutos ko sa intern ang pagbili ng damit ko.

“Hindi ko alam for sure. Sabi lang ni Marcus since naka-meet niya iyong tatay ni Levi nung sinama siya sa country club.”

I groaned.

I grew up in a comfortable family, but not to the point na member kami ng country club. Ang ridiculous kaya ng membership fee doon! Para lang maggolf? Kaloka!

“Paano nga ulit sila nagka-kilala?” I asked as I got back inside the dressing room para magtry ng iba pang damit. ’Di ako naniniwala sa first impression lasts, but this time, I needed to make a good impression! I wanted them to see me as a good fit for Levi. I mean, sure he’s a pilot and he’s from a well-off family, but damn, doctor naman ako! Hindi naman as if magugutom ako at magiging palaboy sa kalye kapag ’di ko naka-tuluyan si Levi, noh.

“Di ba nung nasa Japan ako pinupuntahan ako ni Marcus lagi? Nagkakilala sila ni Levi sa lounge tapos ang flight pa ni Levi nun dati is Japan and South Korea, so ’dun sila naging friends,” Niles explained.

“Gaga ka talaga, ang tagal na palang kilala ni Marcus si Levi! Ni ’di mo man lang ako naisip!”

She laughed. “You know what? Iintroduce ko sana kayo nung kasal kaso ’di ka naman nagtagal sa reception dahil kinailangan mong bumalik sa hospital tapos si Levi naman sa reception na dumating dahil kaka-land lang ng flight nila. ’Di talaga meant to be.”

I rolled my eyes. “You jinx. Palibasa masaya ka na.”

“Baka ’di lang talaga dapat nung time na ’yun. ’Yun ’yung moments mo na ’di ka pa naghahanap talaga, e. Maybe if na-introduce kayong dalawa nung time na ’yun, magiging wedding hookup lang kayo.”

Natigilan ako.

She had a point.

Malamang sa malamang kung nakilala ko si Levi nung kasal nina Marcus at Niles, baka sa CR kami sa reception natuloy tapos wala na. Kasi iyon ’yung time na nararamdaman ko na iyong want to settle down and it freaked me out so much kaya naging mission ko for a while na enjoyin ang gawa ni Lord hanggang sa makakaya ko pa.

“Okay na?” Niles asked nang lumabas ako sa dressing room.

“Mas gusto ko ’to,” I said as I picked up the collared dress and paid for it. At dahil ginambala ko si Niles ay nilibre ko na rin siya ng pagkain and binilhan ko si Nini ng pasalubong. Sana talaga magka-baby na ako. Gusto ko na ’yung baby ko maging best friend ni Nini. Kaso habang tumatagal lumalaki ang age gap. Naku talaga, Levi! Ayusin mo!

Pag-uwi ko sa condo ay hinandwash ko iyong dress dahil baka masira, then I steamed iron it. Then nag-exfoliating mask ako tapos balak kong matulog nang maaga para fresh ako bukas. Mamayang madaling araw pa kasi iyong balik ni Levi dahil nasa ibang bansa siya. Bukas daw ay susunduin niya ako sa condo.

“Wow,” Levi said when he saw me. I told him that I’d just meet him outside para hindi na siya umakyat pa sa condo. Ayoko naman na ma-late kami, noh. Isipin pa nila na tardy ako.

Napa-hinto rin ako nang makita ko siya.

He looked so… dreamy.

He was wearing a cream colored classic fit shorts and powder blue polo that was folded up to the middle of his arms paired with white and brown boat shoes. Tapos may naka-sabit na wayfarer sa gitna ng polo niya.

God, he looked like a real country club guy.

“Do I look okay?” I asked instead na maggush ako sa kung gaano siyang ka-gwapo. He looked real casual!

He instead reached for my hand and held it. “You look real nice, Julienne,” he answered, smiling as he squeezed my hand. “You ready?”

Huminga ako nang malalim.

“Sure, why not,” I answered dahil wala naman talaga akong choice. I really like the guy and liking him means getting along with his family, too. Hopefully, hindi sila iyong usual na mapangmata na pamilya dahil ’di ako iyong tipo ng tao na magpapa-api. I’m a grown-ass woman with a good job—hindi ako pwedeng apihin ng mga country club members na ’to.

As expected, sa isang exclusive subdivision kami pumunta. I did my breathing exercise while waiting for Levi to pull up. ’Di ko alam kung saan iyong sa kanila rito. Magaganda naman iyong lahat ng bahay, as expected. Napa-kunot pa nga ang noo ko nang makita kong naglalakad iyong isang sikat na artista kasama iyong aso niya. Dito rin siguro naka-tira.

“We’re here,” Levi said when his car stopped in front of a house with quite the walkway papasok nung pinaka-bahay. The house looked nice.

“Okay,” I replied, taking deep breaths.

“You’ll be fine,” Levi said.

“Hopefully,” sabi ko. “No,” I quickly said when Levi leaned in and was trying to kiss me. “My makeup.”

He laughed. “Just one kiss?”

“Later na lang,” I said, and then looked at my reflection at the mirror once again. For the first time in months, nag-iron ulit ako ng buhok. Nung una nga kaming nagde-date ni Levi ay maayos palagi ang itsura ko—but when he started to randomly pop in the hospital, nabawasan ang pag-aayos ko kasi nakita niya na akong madungis habang naka-scrubs. E mukhang ’di naman siya natakot so I thought what the hell.

Napa-tingin ako nang hawakan niya iyong kamay ko at hinalikan iyon. “Kiss for good luck,” he said and then smiled at me. “Just be yourself—they’ll love you.”

Pero mas lalong lumakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko.

Myself?

Minsan nalilito na nga ako kung sino ako.

I forced a smile kahit na nakaramdam ako ng pagka-lungkot. Parang bigla kong narinig si Niles sa isip ko na nireremind ako na hindi maganda iyong ginagawa ko. That I was finetuning who I really am to fit his personality…

That I was just lying to myself.

But I wasn’t lying all the time.

Sometimes, my walls were down and I show him who I really am.

And hopefully, even those parts, he’ll learn to like.

“Let’s do this,” sabi ko bago kami tuluyang umalis sa sasakyan at naglakad papasok sa bahay ng grandparents niya. Pero bago pa man mabuksan iyong pinto ay natigilan ako nang maramdaman ko iyong labi ni Levi sa labi ko.

“For good luck.”

I frowned as I wiped the lipstick stain from his lips. “Why do you keep on saying good luck? Do I really need that?” tanong ko dahil kinakabahan na tuloy lalo ako!

He just laughed and instead of answering, just opened the freaking door.

The interior of the house looked like the house of a typical rich family. I bet puro antiques ang nakikita ng mga mata ko. There’s also a huge piano. Nagpe-play kaya si Levi nun?

“Nasan sila?” I asked kasi wala akong nakikitang mga tao.

“At the back,” he replied. “We’re having barbeque party.”

Tumango ako. Pagdating namin sa labas. I saw lots of people! My god, they’re a huge family! May mga nakita akong bata na nasa pool at nagsu-swimming. Meron ding table ng mga matatanda na nagku-kwentuhan.

I fucking froze.

This was a bad idea.

“Are you okay?” Levi asked.

I blinked rapidly. “I’m nervous.”

He reached for my hand and held it. “I promise I won’t leave your side tonight, okay?” he asked but then he was stopped when someone called his name. Mulit akong huminga nang malalim at ngumiti sa kanya nang tumingin siya sa akin na para bang tinatanong niya kung okay na ba na lumapit kami.

Levi first introduced me to his parents. I followed Levi’s advice and talked to his mom about designs and sa dad niya naman about sports. I mean, I occasionally watch sports, but hindi ako big fan. But for this event’s sake, I did my research pa!

“Ready for my titas?” he asked.

“Sure, let’s go,” I said, pasting another smile on my face.

Sobrang daming tanong ng mga tita niya! But they’re all super nice. Mostly unang tanong nila sa akin was if may discount ba kapag ako ang doctor. I just laughed and said na I’ll waive my professional fee. Ang yayaman, ang kukuripot! Kaya siguro sila yumaman dahil sa pagiging kuripot nila.

“You wanna eat?” Levi whispered in my ear.

“Yes. Please. Or kahit water na lang,” I replied. Natuyo na yata iyong lalamunan ko dahil kanina pa ako nakikipagkwentuhan sa mga tita niya. Ang dami nilang kwento, e. Typical titas! Pero super fun naman! Malayo na naimagine ko na mamaliitin nila ako. Curious pa nga sila sa work ko.

While I was waiting for Levi to return, biglang nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang may maupong matandang babae sa harapan ko. She was wearing a red dress and sporting a pearl necklace that I bet cost more than my condo unit.

Fuck.

Ito na ’yung lola ni Levi! The one I needed to impress the most!

“Happy birthday po,” I said with the sweetest smile I could muster. I really wanted to bring a gift dahil nahihiya ako na pumunta na walang dala, but Levi told me na hindi ko kailangang magdala. Gusto lang daw ng lola niya na magkakasama lahat sa birthday niya. Kasi busy na rin sa buhay nila iyong ibang relatives nila kaya kapag birthday nung matanda, talagang nandito sila to celebrate—more like a reunion na rin.

Shit.

Sobrang big occasion pala nito tapos dinala ako ni Levi.

“Your name, hija?” she asked. Mas lalo akong kinabahan dahil naka-red lipstick pa si Lola. I bet sobrang ganda niya nung kabataan niya. Kasi kahit ngayon na matanda na siya, she still looked so regal.

“Julienne Salvacion po,” I replied.

“You’re a doctor, right?”

“Yes po. General surgeon.”

“Your horoscope?”

Napaawang ang labi ko. I blinked in confusion.

“La,” narinig kong sabi ni Levi nang maupo siya sa tabi ko at ilagay iyong plate na may lamang pagkain. “Don’t scare her away.”

His lola laughed. “I was just asking her horoscope. You’re a Virgo, so your best match is a Scorpio.”

Levi groaned. “La, I told you to not believe those things. Seriously, Mr. Lao—”

“Mr. Lao told me that one of these days, you’ll finally bring the girl you’ll end up with. Shouldn’t I believe him, huh, Leandro?” tanong ni lola.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at agad akong namula dahil ramdam ko na naka-tingin silang dalawa sa akin. I wanted to reach for the glass of water in front of me, but I was afraid to make the slightest of movements.

But then I felt Levi’s hand holding my hand that was resting on my lap. “Maybe he’s not purely made of rubbish,” he said, looking at me and smiling. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 05

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY05 Chapter 05

“Julienne.”

I stopped on my tracks and turned around para makita kung sino ang tumatawag sa pangalan ko. Bihira naman ang tumatawag sa akin ng ganon dahil usually ay Dr. Salvacion ako rito sa St. Matthew’s o kaya naman ay Yanyan sa mga kaibigan ko. Magulang ko lang ata ang gumagamit ng pangalan ko na ’yun.

“Wh—”

Pero agad akong natigilan nang makita kong lola iyon ni Levi. Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I froze on the spot. My system went into panic. Mabilis kong inisip kung ano ba ang itsura ko ngayon. Ang huling tingin ko sa salamin ay nung umalis pa ako sa condo!

“Won’t you come say hi?” tanong niya nang may ngiti sa mukha niya. I kept on blinking. Mahinang natawa ang matanda. “Did I scare you, Julienne, hija? I promise I don’t bite.”

Huminga ako nang malalim.

And then smiled.

“I’m sorry po, medyo nabigla lang,” I replied. “May… check-up po kayo rito?” I asked.

She nodded. “Something like that.”

“Kasama niyo po si Levi?”

“No, I think he has a flight,” sagot niya. “Didn’t he tell you?”

I smiled politely. “I don’t ask him about his work that much po. I understand naman po na demanding iyong trabaho niya dahil demanding din naman po iyong trabaho ko.”

Oh, my god.

Tama pa ba iyong mga sinasabi ko?!

“So, you’re not scared? You know he’s a pilot—constantly surrounded by beautiful ladies.”

Pilit akong napa-tawa. I hugged the charts closer to my chest. “No, not really po. If he wants to go that way, that’s his choice. Wala pong mamimilit dito.”

It’s so confusing, this thing I was doing. Minsan, totoo sa nararamdaman ko iyong sinasabi ko. Minsan, I was just telling things that I know Levi wanted to hear.

Nakaka-lito na talaga minsan.

Kagaya ngayon.

’Di ko alam kung totoo na ba kasi at one point, ’di naman talaga ako nagtatanong sa kanya. But on the other hand, kapag hindi ako busy ay napapa-isip naman talaga ako sa kung ano ang ginagawa niya.

“Very well,” she replied. “Am I keeping you from something?”

“Hindi naman—” I said, but my pager vibrated. I looked at her and smiled apologetically. “Go,” she said.

“May kasama po ba kayo?”

She nodded. “Yes. Hinanap lang kita.”

Napaawang ang labi ko. “Bakit naman po?”

“I just wanna see you work. Levi told me you’re fascinating to look at when you’re working,” she said. Hindi ko napigilan na mamula ang mukha ko. That guy! Medyo pa-cool kapag nasa harapan ko tapos ito pala at kinu-kwento ako sa lola niya! Kainis! Humanda siya sa akin kapag nagkita kami!

“San po ba iyong kasama niyo? Sasamahan ko na lang po kayo,” I offered dahil syempre, matanda na siya. Delikado na nag-iikot siya mag-isa. Ang pasaway naman nitong si Lola!

She waved her hand in dismissal. “I’ll be fine,” she said with a warm smile. “Go be a doctor, hija.”

I smiled, too. “Okay po…” sabi ko bago tumalikod at halos tumakbo papunta sa nurse’s station.

---

“I thought you don’t cook?” Levi said pagdating niya sa condo ko.

“It’s just steak,” sagot ko. Bumili lang naman ako ng steak sa supermarket and rubbed some powders and stuff doon sa steak and then popped it in the oven. It’s not like nagmagic ako or something.

“Well, I do appreciate this,” he replied with a smile as he took his first bite. “What?” tanong niya na natawa nang makita akong naka-abang.

“So? Is it good? It’s my first time.”

He cut another portion and took his time chewing. Napa-irap ako. Ang pabebe naman nito! Asar!

“It’s good,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “Liar.”

He laughed. “It’s good, Julienne,” sabi niya. “Try it yourself.”

I began to eat na rin. The steak paired nicely with the wine. Inaya kasi ako ni Levi na lumabas kami, but I just wanted to stay in. During the first 3 months of this ‘relationship,’ lagi kaming nasa labas. I thought it would be a nice change of pace na sa loob naman kami.

Saka ang daming nangyari sa trabaho! Tinatamad na akong lumabas.

“I saw your lola the other day,” I casually said while I was cutting my steak.

“Really? Where?” he asked while refilling his glass.

“Sa hospital,” I replied. “She said she has a check-up? But then tinakasan niya ata iyong kasama niya para hanapin ako,” sabi ko na natawa. “She asked me pa kung natakot daw ako sa kanya.”

I thought he’d reply something like ‘see? Lola’s not scary’ or something to that effect. But a solid minute passed and wala akong narinig from him. Kaya naman tumingin na ako sa kanya at kumunot ang noo ko nang makita kong diretso niyang inubos iyong laman ng baso niya.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked.

He didn’t say a word, but instead, refilled his wine again.

Okay… That was weird.

“Can you free your weekend on the 28th?” he asked instead.

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko. “I’m not sure, but why?” I asked. Syempre hindi naman ako basta-bastang makaka-alis sa trabaho ko. Although pwede naman, but that would include a lot of bargaining with other people and depeding sa kung gaano ko ka-gustong maging free, baka sumalo ako ng duty ng iba.

“It’s my birthday and I was wondering if I can take you with me to Balesin.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

Natawa siya.

“What?” he asked. “You look so surprised. Who else do you think I’ll take with me?”

I blinked.

It’s Balesin! I mean, ’di naman ako gold digger, ano, but it’s like one of my dream destinations here sa Pilipinas! But it’s a members-only island and I didn’t know any member. I mean, kilala ko si Dr. Cuesta and member ang family nila, but then again kilala ko lang siya and ’di naman kami friends para sabihin ko na isabit niya ako roon kapag pupunta siya.

“On the 28th?” I asked.

“Yeah. My birthday’s on the 29th, so I thought it’d be nice if we can wait for my birthday together?”

I bit my lower lip. “28th it is.”

Damn.

Feeling ko ako sasalo sa lahat ng duty next month dahil desperado akong maging free sa weekend na iyon.

---

Sobrang gago ng mga ka-trabaho ko kaya naman kapalit ng pagiging free ko ngayong weekend ay ako ang sasalo sa on call duties nila. Naramdaman ata nung mga bwisit na ’yun kung gaano ko ka-gusto kaya naman lahat na ata pinasa sa akin. Tsk. Fair din naman. Ganito rin naman ako sa kanila kapag sila nakikipagpalit. Bilis talaga ng karma.

“Cheers,” we said in unison and then sipped our champagne. Nasa loob kami ng private plane dahil iyon lang ang way para maka-punta sa Balesin. I was excited, heck yeah! But also, I controlled myself. Kakahiya naman kung makita ni Levi kung gaano ako ka-excited samantalang siya ay chill na chill habang naka-upo sa tabi ko.

“Are you a member of the mile high club?” tanong ko at bigla siyang nabulunan sa iniinom niya. Imbes na tulungan ay tinawanan ko pa siya. Pero hindi naman ako ganoon kasama kaya inabutan ko siya ng pamunas.

“Seriously?”

“Well?”

“Your questions,” sabi niya na napapailing.

“You didn’t answer the question, though,” I replied, shrugging. “Come on. I’m just curious.”

’Di naman ako bata, noh. Alam ko naman na marami na siyang naging babae. Wala namang problema ’dun, to be honest. Magkaka-problema kami kung magkaka-babae siya habang nandito ako. Aba, one at a time lang!

“Can I not answer?”

“That’s not a denial.”

He groaned. “Of course I’m a member.”

“I knew it!”

“Are you mad?”

“What? Why will I be mad?” naka-kunot ang noong tanong ko. “How did you do it? ’Di ba kayo natakot na baka may kumatok? And what if lumabas kayo na magkasama? Won’t that be weird?” I asked. I was just genuinely curious! Siguro kung regular na nagta-travel ako, baka loyal member na rin ako.

“So… you’re not mad?”

“No,” I said. “Why will I be mad?”

“I don’t know. I’m just used to women asking me things like that and then getting mad later on. So, as a precaution, I just don’t answer.”

I adjusted my seat, so that I could look at him. “Levi, my dear,” I said and that made him laugh a little. “It’ll take a lot to make me jealous. So if I’m jealous, be afraid,” I continued and tapped his cheek.

He blinked. “Is that a threat?”

I smiled. “Take it however you like,” I said, shrugging. “So, can you make me a member of this exclusive club?” tanong ko, pero this time, tinawanan na lang niya ako at sinabi na in 5 minutes na lang daw ay nandoon na kami.

He’s right.

We’re not built for a quickie.

Masyadong sandali.

Pagdating namin sa Bali Village, I couldn’t help but be in awe. Ang tagal na rin kasi nung huling vacation ko! I badly needed this! Sobrang okay na sa akin kahit alilain ako ng mga tao next month. Pwede na rin!

“You wanna rest, eat, or swim?” Levi asked pagdating namin sa room. We were chaperoned to a villa with a wraparound porch. Sayang isang weekend lang kami.

My god. Baka kailangan ko na talagang maging alipin ng salapi. Gusto ko ring maging member ng ganitong club. Imagine going to this place kapag sobrang stressed mo na sa life?

Minsan talaga mapapa-sabi ka na lang ng eat the rich.

“I wanna rest for a while, swim, then eat?” tanong ko. Ayoko ngang kumain muna! Kapag pa naman kumain ako nagiging bloated ako. Nagprepare pa ako para sa trip na ’to! Hairless na ako from neck below! Alam ko naman na nakita na ni Levi ang bawat sulok ng katawan ko, pero syempre iba pa rin kapag nakita niya akong naka-bikini.

“Okay,” he said, planting a kiss on the side of my head.

I plopped my back against the bed. Damn, ang lambot. Akala ko malambot na iyong bed ko, pero mas malambot ’to! Iba talaga ang nabibili ng salapi!

After resting for a while ay nagpalit na ako ng damit. I wore a red string bikini. I checked my reflection a couple of times. Sobrang lutang na lutang iyong kulay sa balat ko. Hindi na yata kasi ako nasisikatan ng araw kaya ganito na ako ka-puti. ’Di bale makapagsunbathing nga ngayon.

I didn’t bother putting a cover up paglabas ko ng CR. Though magsusuot naman ako ng dress over this. ’Di naman ako ganoon ka-confident na tao para maglakad sa labas ng naka-string bikini!

Levi groaned upon seeing me.

I grinned inside.

“Can we change sched? Can it be rest, sex, swim, and then eat?” he asked as he walked towards me and held my waist by his hands. “Or rest, sex, swim, sex, and then eat?”

I placed my hands on his shoulder. “Labas na tayo. I wanna go around.”

“But you look like that…” he said.

“Like what?”

“Like begging to be fucked.”

My lips parted sa pagka-bigla.

The fuck…

Ang bastos!

Finally!

“And I’m a very considerate person,” he said and then I felt him untying the strings of my very skimpy bikini. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 06

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY06 Chapter 06

“What…” Levi groaned nang hawiin ko iyong kurtina sa villa kaya naman pumasok iyong liwanag. Kanina pa ako gising. Naka-ligo na ako and ready na akong mag-ikot dito sa island! Grabe naman kasi siya! I thought when he said birthday salubong, like magdidinner kaming dalawa or what—malay ko ba na birthday putukan pala ang magaganap! Nasayang tuloy iyong first day namin! ’Di man lang ako naka-labas ng villa kahapon!

“Birthday boy, let’s go! We need to explore!”

“What time is it?” he asked in a throaty voice. Ako nga dapat mapaos sa aming dalawa dahil sa pagsigaw-sigaw ko kagabi!

“9 am na.”

Inabot niya iyong unan at tinakpan iyong mukha niya. “2 more hours,” he said.

“Levi, please,” sabi ko. “I wanna go around…”

Hindi ako pinansin! Kainis!

Kinuha ko na lang iyong susi and wallet and phone ko. Bahala siya d’yan. Ang ganda-ganda dito tapos sa villa lang kami? E siya siguro nandito palagi. First time ko, e. Syempre gusto kong umikut-ikot.

I had breakfast alone. Wala namang problema sa akin. Sanay naman akong kumain mag-isa, and minsan nga preferred ko pa ’yun. Sa trabaho kasi ay laging may naka-paligid na tao sa akin, so whenever there’s an opportunity to find peace and quiet, I’d gladly take it.

After breakfast—I badly wanted to eat rice kaso ay pinigilan ko talaga ang sarili ko dahil kailangan ko pang magbikini buong araw—dumiretso ako sa beach. I wanna bum around all day! Gusto ko talagang magpa-tan ngayon! Hmp! Bahala si Levi d’yan.

I plopped myself on the sun lounger, and closed my eyes to relax. Buti na lang walang masyadong tao ngayon. Feel kong matulog muna rito. Wala naman sigurong magnanakaw dito!

I immediately fell asleep. Halos 3 hours pa lang din kasi ang tulog ko. Every time I’d tell Levi na inaantok na ako, sasabihin niya sa akin na birthday niya. Tsk. Talent din magpa-awa! Ayan tuloy ’di kami naka-alis-alis sa villa na ’yun. Sayang talaga iyong isang araw!

When I heard voices, I opened my eyes. Nakita ko na may isang batang naka-sakay sa puting kabayo. May lalaki na nag-a-assist sa kanya. Pwedeng magganon dito?! Dapat talaga kumuha ako ng brochure, e! Gusto kong sulitin lahat ng amenities dito!

Sat on the lounger and looked around para makita kung saan nanggaling iyong kabayo. But even before I could ask around, I heard someone talking.

“Looking for the horses?”

“Yeah,” I replied, my forehead creasing a little dahil parang familiar iyong lalaki.

“Ilya,” he replied. My forehead was still creased. “I think we were introduced before by Marcus.”

Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Right! Siya iyong nakita ko nung kasal nina Marcus and Niles, but then again hindi natuloy iyong landian namin kasi bumalik ako sa hospital.

“Right…” I said. “So, about the horses?”

Tumawa siya. “It’s in The Stables.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “The Stables?”

“Julienne.”

Agad na napa-tingin ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses. Wow, gising na siya! Himala! Akala ko e buong araw siyang matutulog sa villa.

“Levi—”

“You didn’t wait for me,” he said instead, cutting me off.

“Tagal mong gumising,” I replied. “Do you know where the horses are?” I asked. Wala namang masyadong tao rito. ’Di naman siguro ako mauubusan ng kabayo.

“Yeah. Let’s go,” he said, cocking his head to the side as if motioning me para tumayo at lumapit sa kanya. Mabilis akong tumayo. Kinuha ko iyong harem style pants ko na naka-sabit sa lounger at saka pinatong iyon sa suot kong black string bikini. Seriously kaya isang maliit na duffel bag lang ang dala ko dahil kapirasong tela lang ang suot ko sa weekend na ’to.

“Nagbreakfast ka na?” I asked him habang sabay kaming naglalakad. Hindi siya sumagot. Nang tignan ko ang ekspresyon niya, parang salubong ang kilay niya. Problema nito?

Mabuti na lang at pagdating namin sa The Stables, nandun na iyong mga kabayo! Sobrang ne-excite ako!

“Manong, iga-guide niyo po ba ako?” I asked iyong nagbabantay. Gusto kong sumakay, but ayoko namang mabalian. May patient dati na sumakay sa kabayo tapos nahulog. Ayun. Paralyzed.

“Pwede naman po, Ma’am.”

“I’ll assist her, kuya,” Levi said. Tumango lang si manong. Magkakilala na ata sila. Malamang nandito ata lagi ’to, e.

I chose iyong white horse. I sat in the saddle after Levi assisted me.

“You okay?” he asked while holding iyong tali.

I nodded. “Wag mong bitawan, okay?” I asked. Aba, dapat lang sure ako! Mamaya bigla niyang bitawan at kung saan ako makarating, e.

Lumabas kami sa stable. Pwede raw kaming maglakad along the shore. The sun was already hot, but I really didn’t care. I wanna soak up every experience. I wanted to ask Levi to take pics of me. Inggitin ko nga si Niles! Puro sila La Union ni Marcus, e. Akala mo walang ibang beach sa Pilipinas.

“Okay ka lang?” I asked dahil nakita ko na salubong kilay pa rin siya habang hatak-hatak iyong tali. Akala mo napaka-sama ng loob sa pag-assist sa akin.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” I replied kahit obvious naman na may problema siya. Bahala siya d’yan. ’Di naman niya ako babysitter. Sasabihin niya naman sa akin kung gusto niyang pag-usapan. So for the moment, enjoyin ko muna ’tong horse ride.

“Julienne.”

“Yeah?”

“We’re exclusive, right?”

“I believe so.”

“So, earlier, that was just a plain conversation?”

Natawa ako. “Yeah. I was literally asking him kung nasaan iyong mga kabayo,” sabi ko sa kanya. I knew it—iyon ang kanina pa bumabagabag dito sa tiga-hatak ko ng kabayo. ’Di ko na lang pinansin because I didn’t want to be presumptous.

“Okay.”

“So, we’re exclusively dating?” I asked. Ngayon lang ako nagka-chance to ask! Basta sure ako dating kami—and at least on my part, exclusive. Malay ko ba sa ginagawa niya kapag nasa trabaho siya or what. Wala naman akong kilala sa mga ka-work niya at hindi naman ako napapadpad sa airport.

“Well, when I tell people about you, I call you my girlfriend,” he said, then looked at me. I pursed my lips, trying to hide the smile on my face.

Girlfriend daw.

Asar.

Tanda-tanda ko na pero kinilig ako roon!

“I wanna tell you that I call you my boyfriend in front of other people, but I really don’t talk about you,” I said at umawang ang labi niya. I laughed at his face. Akala niya, ha! Gwapo siya, oo, pero ’di ko naman siya pinamamalita sa mga tao sa buhay ko. Ni hindi nga alam ng pamilya ko na nag-e-exist siya, e. Mga excited pa naman mga ’yun na mag-asawa na ako. Matakot pa siya d’yan bigla.

“Seriously?” he asked, sounding dismayed.

I nodded. “Never pumasok sa conversation.”

“But I’m always visiting you at work!” parang bata na reklamo niya.

“They thought you’re my cousin.”

“The fuck? Cousin? Really? Do I need to kiss you in front of your workmates?” sabi niya na para bang badtrip na badtrip siya na inakala siyang pinsan ko nung mga ka-trabaho ko. ’Di ko nga rin alam saan nanggaling iyong chismis na iyon—mahirap itrack. Pero hula ko ay dahil iyon may maharot na babae na pinangunahan na hindi ko lalaki si Levi kaya pinagkalat na pinsan ko na lang.

“That’s it. I’ll drive you to work tomorrow and you should introduce me.”

Tumawa ako. “Ano ipapakilala ko sa ’yo?” I asked as I looked around. Sobrang ganda… Grabe… White sand talaga… Saka nasa dulo na ata kami ni Levi kaya literal na kaming dalawa na lang ang tao rito.

Nang hindi sumagot si Levi, tumingin ako sa kanya para alamin kung ano ang ginagawa niya. Baka kasi binitawan niya iyong tali! Naku talaga!

“Levi—”

But I stopped midway when I saw him holding a navy-blue velvet box. My lips parted and my eyes widened in fucking surprise. What the fuck!

“Julienne—”

Hindi ko siya pinatapos at mabilis akong tumalon pababa nung kabayo. Ano ’to! Nakaka-loka! Bakit may singsing! Tanghaling tapat! Jusko!

“Wh—” I said, rapidly blinking. “Huh?!”

“3 months surely may be a short time for others—”

“Leandro Aurelious!”

He chuckled. “Full name, really? Do I make you nervous?”

“Ha?! What is happening?! Bakit may ganito?!”

He was still holding the box. I was so torn na tanungin siya o pabuksan sa kanya iyong box dahil nacu-curious ako sa itsura nung singsing doon.

Singsing ba talaga?!

Baka assuming lang ako! Malay ko baka kwintas?!

“I wanna marry you,” he so casually said. “I look at you and I think, ‘I wanna make her my wife.’ “

Ramdam ko iyong pamumula ng mukha ko. ’Di ako sure kung dahil ba sa sinasabi niya o dahil ba sa init ng araw.

“I love you, Julienne Salvacion. I don’t know exactly when—but I’m pretty sure it was when I visited you in the hospital and I saw you on top of a patient performing CPR and saw how determined you are to keep that man alive. I thought ‘Wow, she’s so awesome.’ “

My lips were quivering.

“I know there are still lots of things we need to consider—”

“I want kids,” I said. “Maybe 2 or 3—depende sa magiging experience ko sa panganganak.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, no problem. I want kids, too.”

“I won’t stop working to be your ‘wife,’” I said.

“Never expected you to,” he replied. “You can be a doctor and my wife. No need to choose.”

I pursed my lips again to stop myself from smiling. “I don’t want to live in a really expensive village. I’m good with a 2 room condo. Then when my kids—”

“Our kids,” he cut me off.

I rolled my eyes, to which he laughed at. “Kapag malaki na sila, I want to live in a province near Manila. I want a house with a big backyard. Yeah. I’m traditional like that.”

I grew up in the provice, and I wanted my kids to experience that, too. I mean, Manila’s good, but nothing beats growing up in the province. Iba talaga. God, I miss home.

“Yes to all that,” he said. “Any more conditions?”

I looked at him.

“This is… so sudden. Are you sure?”

He took a step forward and held my hands. I felt tingles in my spine when he caressed the top of my hands with his thumbs—made my heart flutter because he was staring right into my eyes while doing that.

“I don’t do things I’m not sure of,” he said.

“3 months!”

“Then let’s stay engaged for a couple of months more… or even a year, if you want,” he said like he’s willing to do anything to assure me na magiging okay.

“But this is crazy—”

“Life is a little crazy.”

I groaned and threw my head back a little. “Ni hindi ka kilala ng pamilya ko tapos ganito?”

“Where are they? I’ll introduce myself.”

“Sa Nueva Ecija sila. Saka ’di rin ako makaka-punta kasi may trabaho ako,” sagot ko. Lahat nga ng off ko ay naisangla ko na sa mga peste kong ka-trabaho para lang maka-rating dito, e.

“Okay,” he said, nodding his head. “But if I introduce myself and they agree, you’ll agree, too?”

I groaned again. “As in serious ba ’to?”

He laughed. “I don’t think I’m that funny to prank you like this.”

I grabbed the damned box and opened it. Naluha yata ako sa ganda nung singsing!

Levi got the ring from the box, held my hand, and he was about to slid the ring around my finger when I pulled my hand away.

“Aba, lumuhod ka man lang,” I said, my brow arched a little.

Tumawa siya. “Fine,” he replied and then got on his knee. I looked around para maghanap ng kukuha sana ng picture pero literal na kaming dalawa lang at iyong kabayo! As if naman pwede kong utusan iyong kabayo! Ugh! Walang remembrance!

“Julienne Salvacion,” he said and name ko pa lang iyong sinasabi niya pero hindi ko na mapigilan ang ngiti ko. Shit. This was really happening! He’s really proposing!

“I love you. Please be with me. Please be my wife?” he asked, on his knee and looking at me.

I rolled my eyes as I handed him my hand. “Sure, whatever.”

He laughed. “Well, thank you for the honor.”

“Maliit na bagay—” I said, but even before I could say anything else, Levi stood up, cupped my face, and kissed me senseless yet again. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 07

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY07 Chapter 07

“Seriously?” I asked when Levi parked in the parking area instead of the usual just dropping me off sa may harap ng hospital. Instead of answering me, he just unbuckled his seatbelt at mas nauna pang lumabas sa akin. He’s really serious about introducing himself to my workmates… Na-stress ba siya roon sa akala nila ay pinsan ko siya?

“Let’s go,” he said, cocking his head to the side.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Ang ganda-ganda ng gising ko sana, e! After kasi nung ‘proposal’ niya, finally ay nag-ikot na kami sa island. We tried as many amenities as we could possibly fit sa natitirang araw namin. Good thing he just let me dahil mas iyon talaga ang gusto kong gawin! But when night fell, hindi na ako naka-labas sa kwarto. Bininyagan ata namin bawat sulok ng villa.

“Are you okay?” he asked habang naglalakad kami papasok.

“No,” I quickly replied.

“Oh, come on. It’s our first day as engaged couple,” sabi niya habang sinasabayan akong maglakad. Gwapo naman si Levi—as in nung una ko siyang nakita ang naisip ko agad, ‘grabe ang sarap naman nito.’ Pero ngayong araw, parang nag-extra effort siya para mas magmukhang gwapo.

Hula ko talaga dahil iyon sa chismis!

“Masakit ’yung pepe ko.”

Agad siyang natigilan sa paglalakad.

Oh, shit.

Nawala sandali iyong filter!

During all those months na magkasama kami ni Levi, minsan naman talaga ay lumalabas ang tunay kong ugali—but I was always careful sa mga terms na lumalabas sa bibig ko. I was aware that I had the tendency of being vulgar. Ayoko lang magsalita ng mga ganon sa harap niya dahil baka ma-turn off siya sa akin.

But then again, we’re already engaged…

Baka naman pwede ko nang ipakita ang tunay na Julienne Salvacion—filterless and all.

“I mean—” I said and then trailed off dahil hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin pa sa susunod! Mabuti na lang at nakita ko si Marcus at Niles na naglalakad sabay palabas ng hospital. “Nileen!” malakas na sigaw ko. Mabilis ko silang nilapitan at iniwan si Levi na mukhang nabigla sa narinig niya mula sa bibig ko.

“Lakas ng boses—”

“Engaged na ako!” I said, cutting her off and showing her the ring that I was sporting. It’s like a really gorgeous ring! Levi told me na engagement ring daw iyon ng lola niya. And he gave it to me! More importantly, she let him give it to me!

I was seriously befuddled.

Levi’s lola seemed to like me.

Feeling ko tuloy ginayuma ko si lola.

Niles blinked.

Marcus immediately congratulated me and Levi who apparently was already standing behind me. “Congrats, Levi!” Marcus said.

“Thanks,” Levi replied. “I wouldn’t have met this one if it weren’t for you,” he continued. Then I felt his hand on my waist. “Seriously, Julienne? Pepe?”

Agad na namula ang mukha ko. Bakit ba ako nahihiya?! I used more vulgar terms! Sabihan ko pa siya d’yan ng mas malala, e! Pasalamat nga siya pepe lang ginamit ko.

“It’s vagina in English.”

“Oh, I know,” he said, then I felt a tingling sensation sa bewang ko dahil sa paghaplos niya roon. “I’m very familiar.”

“Why are we talking about vagina?” biglang tanong ni Marcus. Kung may iniinom lang siguro ako ay kanina pa ako nabulunan dahil sa biglang paglabas ng salitang iyon sa usapan namin.

I chose to ignore Marcus’ comment and just faced Levi. “We already informed these two that we’re engaged,” I said. “To be honest, silang dalawa lang talaga ng kaibigan ko rito.”

Umiling si Levi. “I said I’ll introduce myself to your workmates.”

I groaned. “Why?!”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“Because.”

Napa-irap na lang ako. Minsan, weird talaga iyong mga pinaglalaban ni Levi sa buhay niya.

And dahil seryoso pala talaga siya, I ended up introducing him to a bunch of people from work. It was so weird! Kakilala ko lang naman iyong iba roon and we’re not really like close na tipong kailangan nilang maging updated sa personal ganaps ko.

Mga trip talaga ng isang ’to.

“Since you introduced yourself to basically everyone here at work,” I said. He looked so amused. Baka masaya lang. All the women basically drooled over him. Alam niya. This cocky bastard. Sanay na sanay na pinagnanasaan siya. “When do I meet your friends?”

He was… shocked.

For a split second.

Pero mabilis siyang naka-bawi.

“My friends?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Your friends from work, from school, from I don’t know,” sabi ko. “I only met Dino. Or is he your only friend?”

I looked at him, waiting for a reply. Naalala ko kasi iyong reaction ni Niles nang itanong niya sa akin kung kilala ko na ba iyong mga kaibigan ni Levi. And now that I realized, it’s so weird na engaged na kami tapos ni hindi ko man lang kilala ang mga kaibigan niya.

But then it’s so hypocritical of me dahil hindi rin naman niya kilala ang mga kaibigan ko prior to today.

“My friends,” sabi niya habang bahagyang tumatango. “Well, can you free your schedule?” he asked like he was expecting me to be so busy that I wouldn’t be able to meet his friends.

“I’ll make time,” I said with a smile.

He said he’d meet my family.

I wanted to meet his friends first.

Sure I was wearing an engagement ring, but until everything’s squared away, it’ll just be just that—a ring. Hindi ako magpapakasal ng hindi ako sobrang sigurado. Gusto kong magpakasal, definitely, but I wanted to be very sure. Marriage is something serious and I take it seriously.

“Okay,” he replied, smiling this time. “I’ll arrange for you to meet my friends,” he continued and then kissed my cheek bago nagpaalam sa akin na aalis na siya dahil baka maka-istorbo na siya sa trabaho ko.

---

I barely stepped out of the room after nung rounds nang bigla akong hatakin ni Niles papasok sa on-call room. I arched my brow at her.

“Niles, I don’t know,” I said. “We’re best friends and honestly, you’re attractive, but ayoko sa pepe—”

“Gago ka talaga!” she replied, looking scandalized. Pinigilan ko ang tawa ko. Ayan kasi si Levi, e! Pepe ang word of the day ko tuloy ngayon!

“Ano ba kasi? Bakit mo ko hinatak dito?” I asked, plopping down on the bed. I badly wanted to sleep din kasi ’di ko naka-tulog nang maayos sa Balesin dahil sa dami ng pinaggagawa namin ni Levi. Add to the fact na ’di talaga ako maka-lakad nang maayos! I bet curious na curious iyong mga interns and resident sa akin and feel ko naman alam na nila na sex-related injury pero ayaw lang nila akong tanungin. Tsk. Share ko pa sa kanila, e. ’Di naman ako mahiyain sa mga ganyang bagay.

“Engaged na kayo ni Levi?”

“Yup.”

“Seryoso?” she asked and I just raised my hand to show me the ring. “But 3 months pa lang kayong magkakilala!” she argued.

“I know!” pagsang-ayon ko sa kanya.

“Then why?!”

I shrugged. “Because I’m already 32? And I like him?”

“Like?!” parang nagimbal na tanong niya. “Di man lang love?!”

Tuluyan na akong nahiga sa kama. Kasalanan talaga ni Niles ’to kapag naka-tulog ako! Ayoko talagang nahihiga kasi for sure maya-maya, tulog na ako.

“Relax—”

“Relax ka d’yan! As your best friend, role ko to make sure na hindi ka gagawa ng mali! Alam ko excited kang magpakasal, pero pag-isipan mo naman, Yanyan.”

It felt good to hear her talk like this. Ewan ko. I could be a lone wolf sometimes, but syempre bilang normal na tao, masaya rin sa feeling na merong may pakielam sa ’yo.

And Niles had been there for a long time—not necessarily from the beginning, but she’s been constantly there ever since we became friends. And that’s what’s important.

“Engaged pa lang, Niles,” I said. “I won’t get married in haste. I’d still have to make sure na sigurado na talaga ako.”

“But you already accepted the proposal!”

“And I can change my mind,” I said. “I’m entitled to change my mind,” I added. “I love you and I love that you’re protecting me, but I thought about this before I agreed.”

Pinag-isipan ko rin ’to habang nasa eroplano kami pabalik. That’s why I asked him to introduce me to his friends first. Marami pang aspect sa buhay niya ang kailangan kong malaman bago kami magpakasal. Coming from a fairly traditional family, alam ko na kapag nagpakasal kami, iyon na. And ayokong ma-trap sa marriage na alam kong kaya ko namang iwasan in the first place had I done my due diligence.

“Fine…” she said, pouting a little. “But naipakita mo man lang ba sa kanya kung sino ka talaga? I mean ’di ba you’re kinda pretending to be demure sa harap niya?”

“Right!” sabi ko at saka mabilis na naupo. “Girl, kanina lumabas sa bibig ko ’yung word na pepe and he looked so shocked!” pagkukwento ko kay Niles. I told Niles how Levi and I fucked the entire weekend. Literal na nabinyagan bawat sulok ng villa. I just sincerely wish na sana linisin nilang mabuti iyon bago may ibang guest ang gumamit. Kakaloka kung hindi!

Gusto ko sanang matapos ang kwento but bago pa man ako matapos, someone paged me kaya naman kinailangan kong umalis.

Damn it, Levi! Ang hirap maglakad!

---

I was kinda nervous nang dumating ako sa venue kung saan ako ipapakilala ni Levi sa friends niya. Twice na kasi ’tong na-schedule dahil biglang hindi ako maka-alis dahil sa trabaho ko. I was so stressed! Baka isipin nila pa-VIP ako! Hindi lang naman talaga ako maka-alis dahil sa work ko. Alangan namang tumakas ako at iwan iyong pasyente ko? Sobrang irresponsible naman.

“You’re here,” Levi said when he saw me standing in front of the establishment. He bridged the distance and kissed my cheek. “Let’s go in—”

“You sure they’re not mad or anything?”

“Yeah. They know you’re a doctor.”

“You specified that it was an emergency? Matter of life and death?”

Natawa siya sandali. I glared at him. “Yes,” he said. “They don’t mind. I still got them drunk.”

“Okay,” I said, nodding and convincing myself that it’d be okay and those people inside wouldn’t think na ang arte ko kasi twice na ’to na-resched e in the first place ako naman gustong ma-meet sila.

“You okay?” Levi asked.

I looked at him.

Damn.

Gwapo talaga.

Isipin mo kung maging asawa ko talaga siya, I’d wake up to that face every single day of my life? E sa itsura niyang ’yan, iyan ’yung tipo na he just gets hotter with age.

“Okay,” I replied. “Let me meet your friends.”

Levi and I walked side by side. Pagpasok namin sa bar, nakita ko agad iyong mga kaibigan ni Levi. Hindi ko alam kung required ba sa mga friends niya na kailangan mukhang attractive sila… O baka kasi ang linis lang nilang tignan kaya attractive sila?

Gwapo ba talaga o malinis lang tignan?

I’d forever be confused.

Levi proceeded to introduce me to his friends. Nandun iyong mga classmates niya nung highschool—a bunch of them. Meron din nung college pero konti lang. There were few pilot friends and weirdly enough, wala siyang pina-kilalang flight attendant.

“Where are the flight attendants?” I asked while we’re at the bar, waiting for my order of mojito.

“What?”

“Puro pilot nandito. Nasan ’yung mga babae?” I asked, my brow slightly arched.

Levi propped his elbows against the bar and laughed. “Well, they’re not really my friends,” he answered.

“Just your co-members with the mile-high club?”

He groaned. “I thought you’re not the jealous type?”

“I said it’ll take a lot for me to get jealous,” I replied, correcting him. “If you give me reasons to be jealous, well then yes, I’ll get jealous.”

“So… are you jealous?”

“No,” I replied, then thanked the bartender when he handed me my drink. “As long as you don’t give me any reason to be jealous, I’ll be the chillest fiancée ever.”

I was quietly sipping my drink when Levi pulled me close and kissed the side of my head. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Nilapitan kami nung ibang pilot friends ni Levi and I laughed sa lahat ng kwento nila about him. Apparently, Levi wasn’t always an awesome pilot—sobrang dami niya palang bloopers sa flying school pa lang! Sobrang nabawasan iyong hotness level niya sa isip ko at tumaas iyong dork level.

“What?” Levi asked nang tatayo sana ako.

“CR,” I replied.

“Really? It’s not because of my friends’ stupid stories about me?”

Tumawa ako. “No. But I’ll need more of those when I return,” sabi ko sa mga kaibigan niya na sinabihan naman ako na there were still more of stupid Levi stories. Nakita kong minura ni Levi iyong mga kaibigan niya.

They’re fun!

Pagpasok ko sa CR, medyo nagtagal ako dahil ang dami kong nainom na cocktail! And I was a little bit tipsy already. Feeling ko kasi kulang din ako sa tulog kaya sobrang weak ko na sa mga ganitong inuman.

“Do you think she knows?”

I was in the middle of buttoning my pants when I heard voices in the CR. I was about to flush the toilet when I heard my name.

“I don’t think so,” answered another. “Julienne seems like a decent girl—she’s a doctor, right? Had she known, do you really think she’ll agree to marry Levi just to appease Lola Lucy’s wish to see him marry before she passes?”

“But what if she’s just a loser who wants to marry Levi? I mean, Levi’s hot as fuck.”

“He’s hot, I know, but if you have enough self-respect, will you agree to that kind of set-up? So self-depreciating?”

They talked about other things, but I wasn’t able to hear any more words because my heart was beating with such anger that I just wanted to march outside and demand to know what the fuck was really happening!

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 08

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY08 Chapter 08

I had to lie that night.

I was drunk.

I was not in the right state of mind.

I liked drama, but not when I’m the subject of the drama.

But I wasn’t also exactly an idiot.

Instead, I faked an emergency and told Levi that I needed to go back to the hospital. Upon hearing that, he didn’t ask me anymore. I really appreciated how respectful he was of my work—he never demanded anything kapag kailangan kong mawala dahil sa trabaho.

But then again, baka naman kasi wala lang siyang pakielam.

“Dr. Salvacion?” Dr. Abraham, one of the residents, asked me.

I was snapped back into reality. Kanina pa pala ako naka-tayo rito sa harap niya. It’s been days since I last saw Levi. He said via text na may flight daw siya, but that he wanted to see me this Friday. And it’s tomorrow. And I still had nothing.

“Just… please follow up Mrs. Javier’s scan,” sabi ko. He looked at me weirdly. I couldn’t blame him. I was sure I was standing there like an idiot, saying nothing for the past few seconds. Kaya ko naman kasi siya tinawag dahil gusto ko siyang utusan to ask around kung nagpa-check up ba talaga dito ang lola ni Levi or what.

But I knew that that would violate rules.

And I love my job.

But also, I didn’t want to start a fight out of nothing kasi baka wala naman talaga.

Tsk.

Bukas na nga lang! Nakaka-apekto pa ’tong narinig ko sa CR sa trabaho ko.

Thankfully, hindi kami nagkita ni Niles buong araw. I didn’t want to lie to her, and if makita ko siya, I’d be forced to lie. Kasi ayoko namang sabihin sa kanya without confirming it myself. Kasi once na sinabi ko, masisira na sa kanya si Levi for life.

Besides, this was between Levi and me.

And matanda na kami.

Kung ganoon nga ang dahilan niya, e ’di putangina niya. Good riddance na lang. ’Di ko deserve iyon kahit gaano niya pa ako napapa-sigaw sa kama. I know my worth.

---

The next day, I was so busy that I literally forgot that it was the day that I’d have the talk with Levi. I scrubbed in one of the rare cases, so that got my attention for half a day. I was walking in the hallway, papunta sana sa locker ko para kumuha ng damit at magpalit nang maka-salubong ko si Levi. He was smiling when he saw me—probably because he saw me smiling first. Maybe he thought that that was because of him, but dahil talaga iyon sa operation. I was lucky I got to scrub in.

“Done with work?” he asked.

“Yup,” I simply replied.

Dumiresto ako para kuhanin iyong damit ko. I changed and made sure that I looked presentable. At least para kung anuman ang mangyari ngayon, prepared ako.

“You wanna grab a dinner?” he asked.

“Condo ko, please?” I asked, instead.

Levi looked at me like he was trying to figure out what was off with me, but at the same time, he’s worried that something might be really wrong. I just kept quiet. Malapit lang naman iyong condo ko rito. I really didn’t want to have this talk in public. We’re both professionals, and I rather we handle this professionally kahit ang gago kung totoo nga iyong narinig ko.

My condo’s the best bet. Para after, I could just politely ask him to leave the fuck out of my life.

While we’re in the elevator, I saw him staring at me through the reflection on the door. I stared back at him and smiled a little. I didn’t know if it was shock… or I was already done processing it.

O baka pagpasok pa namin sa condo ako sisigaw sa galit.

My best bet was that I really just wanted to keep my dignity in tact after this. This wasn’t my first rodeo—I’d been at both ends of breakups. However, I like Levi and I even agreed to marry him…

This might sting more than the others.

“Julienne,” he called when we got inside the condo.

I opened one of the drawers and got the ring. I removed it the night I heard that unsettling news. I just couldn’t bear to wear this while being uncertain kung ano nga talaga ’to.

“Yes or no,” I began. “Did you propose to me because your grandma’s sick?”

Maybe I was hoping.

I was hoping that those girls were just jealous because of all the girls Levi had, he wanted me so much that he put a ring in my finger.

But seeing the colors drain out of Levi’s face hurt like a motherfucking bitch.

Okay.

I was so not fucking cool with this.

Putangina naman!

“Julienne—”

“Yes or no,” I said, cutting him off sharply.

“It’s not like that,” he said, barely answering my fucking question that was answerable by a fucking yes or no!

“When what is it like?” I asked, seething in anger that I really didn’t want to control. But fuck him! Gagaguhin niya na lang din, the least I could have was my dignity. I’d not grovel! Not for him, not for fucking anyone.

I wanted to get married, sure, but not on the expense of losing my self-respect.

“I love you—”

“That wasn’t the question,” I said, cutting him off. “Did you or did you not propose marriage because your lola’s sick?” diretsong tanong ko sa kanya.

“Where did you hear that?” he asked.

“Your friends,” I replied. “They said you just proposed dahil gusto ng lola mo na makita kang ikasal bago siya mawala.”

I saw him take in a deep breath.

Raked his fingers through his hair.

And then nervously licked the bottom of his lips.

“She wanted to see me get married, yes,” dahan-dahang sagot niya na para bang maiiba nun ang nararamdaman ko. But every word that came out of his mouth felt like a stab in the chest.

I felt so… stupid.

Ang saya-saya ko pa nung nagpropose siya. I thought someone finally wanted me enough to want to marry me. I’d been told a lot of times already that I wasn’t enough, that I just wasn’t the one he was looking for.

I heard a lot of the same excuses over and over again that I started to wonder what was wrong with me.

I thought I was so unlovable.

Made me feel unwanted.

But then he came and made me believe that I could be loved like that. That he loved me enough to wanna marry me.

Tapos… ganito.

Ang gago.

Nakaka-baba ng pagka-tao.

“But Julienne—”

I drew a deep breath. “Can you please just leave?” I asked, trying to control my breathing because I didn’t want break in front of him. He already took so much from me. I didn’t want him to see me break, too.

He took a step forward.

“Please leave…”

“Julienne—”

“Please…” I whispered, my lips quivering as I felt the tears on the verge of falling. “Please leave…”

“Julienne, she’s sick, yes—”

“You proposed because your lola’s sick! But did you even think about me? Ano’ng plano mo? Marry me just to grant her wish?!”

“No—”

Umawang ang labi ko.

Wow.

That was…

“So, you just proposed to show to her that you’re getting married. Ni wala kang plano na pakasalan talaga ako? You just wanted me to wear your ring and what? Hopefully mamatay ang lola mo bago ko gustuhin na magpakasal talaga?”

I looked at him.

I waited for him to say something, anything, to at least tell me that I was wrong—na mali ako sa kahit sa isa lang sa mga sinabi ko.

“We both want the same thing,” he answered instead. “I want kids and I want the house with the big backyard. I want the same future, Julienne.”

I drew a deep breath.

“I like you—”

“Just please fucking leave!” malakas na sigaw ko dahil parang hindi niya naririnig iyong mga salitang paulit-ulit lumalabas sa bibig ko. I didn’t care if he liked me—that wasn’t the point.

I felt so small.

He made me feel so small.

Yet he didn’t move.

He chose not to listen to me.

I tried to drag him outside. I just wanted him to leave so that I could cry in peace. So that I could break in peace. So that I could start to heal because I wouldn’t allow myself to feel this small over anyone.

I’m Julienne Salvacion.

I’m a fucking doctor.

Not even a pilot could make me feel small.

“Julienne!” he said while I was trying to push him out of my condo. I heard him ask me to stop, but I just wanted him to leave. I wanted him gone.

“The engagement’s off,” I said as I grabbed his hand and forcibly gave him the ring back. I wanted to throw it at his face. But this was his lola’s ring.

I quickly shut the door close. I went to my room. I curled on the bed.

And just for one night, allowed myself to feel small. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 09

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY09 Chapter 09

“Fine. One question,” I told Niles na kanina pa naka-titig sa akin. For a week, I managed to dodge every question na tinatanong niya sa akin about Levi. The week before, hindi naman siya nagtatanong dahil wala rin naman akong sinasabi. Ayoko lang sabihin habang hindi pa ako totally over dahil malamang sa malaman, ita-trashtalk ko lang si Levi. And I didn’t want to put her in an awkward position dahil friend ni Marcus si Levi.

Minsan talaga peste talaga ’yang mga lalaki na ’yan, e. Pagkatapos ng sarap, puro sakit binibigay.

“Are you okay?” she asked carefully like I was some fragile doll.

“Not yet, but I’ll be fine soon.”

“You want to stay sa bahay namin? Maybe Nini can help you,” she offered. The thought of my very cute inaanak was so tempting. Nakaka-wala ng pagod ’yung batang ’yun! Napaka-cute talaga. Sadly, mukhang on the way na ako sa pagiging cat lady.

Maybe I needed to buy a cat already.

Para at least ngayon pa lang, ma-train ko na siya.

“Thanks for the offer, but may lakad ako next week.”

“Ha? Saan?”

“Remember ’yung research ko na sinasabi ko sa ’yo before?” I asked and she nodded. Of course hindi niya malilimutan iyon dahil sobrang binida ko sa kanya iyong research ko. ’Di naman kasi ako sobrang ma-research na tao, but I was so interested in the topic so I really put in a lot of work there. “I submitted those before and I received an email few weeks ago about the possibility of me presenting sa isang conference.”

“That’s great! Saan? And pwede bang pumunta?”

“South Korea,” I answered. “And I’m not sure kung makaka-alis ka dito.”

“What? Ang exciting naman! So proud of you!” she said. Mabuti na lang mukhang na-distract siya sa usapang Levi. Sa totoo lang, ayoko siyang pag-usapan. Balak ko ngang magpanggap na lang kay Niles na namatay na si Levi, pero asa naman kasi friend din nila. Ang gulo rin naman kasi nitong si Levi! Nagtanong pa kay Marcus tungkol sa akin, ayan tuloy nalaman pa ni Niles. Paka-chismoso nitong si Nicolas, e.

“Hindi ako magbabakasyon ’dun, gaga,” sabi ko sa kanya dahil kulang na lang ata ay maglista siya ng mga pinapa-bili niyang skin care. Dami-daming pera ng asawa niya, e! Ayaw doon magpa-bili!

“Sige na. Grabe naman ’to. Parang others.”

“Magpe-present ako ng research ’dun.”

“Buong araw ka ba magpe-present?”

Napa-irap ako. “Fine. Pero 3 items lang.”

Umirap din siya. “Fine. Sasabihin ko kapag napag-isipan ko na kung ano,” sabi niya na parang masama pa ang loob. Sarap saktan nito. Ang demanding, ha. Pasalamat siya cute si Nini.

I resumed eating. Kailangan ko pang magbasa ng case study and lumabas lang ako sa lib para kumain dahil nagugutom na ako. Nasaktuhan naman ako ni Niles na nandito.

“Si Levi,” she said.

I rolled my eyes. “Levi na naman.”

“E ’di mo pa kasi kinu-kwento talaga! Maybe you need to tell the story? Malay mo maka-bawas sa dinadala mo.”

“Dina-dala ka d’yan. I’m not some teenager na first time maka-ranas ng heartbreak—”

“Heartbreak! Aha! So mahal mo nga?”

Saksakin ko na ’tong si Nileen ng tinidor, e. “I don’t know. Maybe. Ewan. Papayag ba akong magpakasal kung walang possibility?” sunud-sunod na sagot ko sa kanya. “But then, tapos na.”

“Tapos na? As in iyon na ’yun?”

I nodded. “Remember nung tinaguan mo si Marcus before because you thought he’s not over Joey? Kasi ayaw mo ng hassle? Ganun din ’yung sa ’kin.”

She rested her back against the seat and crossed her arms. “I think magka-iba tayo, my dear Yanyan. Hindi ko tinaguan si Marcus, okay. I directly told him lang kung ano ang ayokong mangyari—and we were both very clear. Had I shut him down and hid from him kagaya ng ginagawa mo kay Levi, malamang wala kami rito ngayon.”

I merely shrugged. “Well, not everyone gets the traditional happy ending,” I replied. “Maybe my life is really meant to be dedicated inside the hospital.”

I mean… that didn’t sound so bad, really. I love my work. And it’s different everyday—hindi mo alam kung sino ang magiging pasyente mo. There’s nothing predictable about my work. Hindi ako mabobore, for sure.

And sa sex?

Please.

Kung iyon lang ang hanap ko, ang dali-daling maghanap ng kakalabitin dito sa ospital. Baka sumama na lang ako sa fish bowl nung mga tao rito.

“But did you even listen to him?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?”

“Kinausap ka ba niya?”

“Well…” she said, pouting a little. “Pumunta siya sa bahay, e! Tinatanong ka.”

“Ang stalker.”

“Grabe! Concerned lang iyong tao sa ’yo!”

“Concerned? Okay naman ako. Functioning pa rin naman.”

“From my perspective, you look like you’re in shock—na parang mataas pa rin ang adrenaline hanggang ngayon na hindi mo pa rin nararamdaman iyong sakit.”

I merely snorted. Sinasabi ng gagang ’to. I bawled my eyes out that night. Kaya nga nung kinabukasan ay pumasok akong naka-shades kahit mukha akong tanga. I could’ve pretended that I was sick, but that would be irresponsible.

And I needed to push through.

That’s the only way around this.

Thankfully, my pager vibrated kaya naman mabilis kong iniwan si Niles dahil wala akong energy pag-usapan pa ang mga bagay na tapos na. I just needed to look forward. Okay naman ang buhay ko, ah? It’s not like I was living a really depressing life. I wanted to get married, but it’s not like it’s the ultimate goal of my life.

---

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang trip ng universe dahil kung kailan naman ako nasa ibang bansa para magpresent at the same time ay magbakasyon na sana, saka naman malakas ang ulan! Literally, there was a heavy downfall paglapag ko sa South Korea.

Naku talaga! Kung ’di ko lang nakita katawan ni Levi iisipin ko na may balat sa pwet iyon dahil simula ng makilala ko siya, tila puro kamalasan na ang dumadating sa buhay ko.

I initially planned on going around sa first day ko, but all my plans were scrapped dahil sa malakas na ulan. Tuloy nasa hotel lang ako buong araw, watching Koreanovelas na in fairness naman ay nakaka-kilig.

But as I was watching, parang natakam ako roon sa iniinom nilang Soju. Damn those actors! Lakas maka-influence! Kaya naman kahit kalagitnaan na ng gabi, nagdecide ako na bumaba para maghanap ng bibilhan nung soju na ’yun. Saka gusto ko rin iyong parang tokwa na nasa stick. Parang ang sarap-sarap naman kasi kapag kinakain nila!

I was just wearing a maong shorts, oversized white shirt, black sliders, and my hair was in a loose bun. Naka-suot din ako ng windbreaker kung sakaling umulan. Hindi na ako nagdala ng payong dahil wala ako sa mood.

After ko maka-bili, babalik na sana ako sa hotel pero medyo natigilan ako nang may nakita akong lalaki na nagsasayaw sa kalsada. Maraming nanonood sa kanya kaya naman napa-tigil ako para manood din.

Saya naman dito.

Kung sa Pilipinas, malamang kanina pa ako na-holdap.

Pagbalik ko hotel, as I pushed the button of the elevator bago pa man ito magsara, my lips parted in disbelief nang makita ko kung sino ang nandoon.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” tanong ko nang makita ko si Levi sa may elevator. He was wearing his fucking pilot uniform at may hawak siyang itim na luggage.

His face was painted with disbelief, too. Kung dati lang sana, iisipin ko na serendipity lang ’to at talagang sa dinami-dami ba naman ng hotel sa South Korea, talagang dito pa kami magtatagpo.

But this guy’s a fucking liar.

“Julienne,” he said.

A part of my mind told me to just walk away and stay out of his way. That was the rational thing to do. But another part of me told me that I should get my ass inside that elevator and just ignore him. I mean, maliit lang naman ang Pilipinas. May chance na magkita kami. Might as well get this over and done with today. At least kung magkalat man ako, dito na lang sa Seoul na walang nakaka-kilala sa akin.

“I’ve been calling you,” he said.

“And I never answered. Take the hint.”

“At least let me explain.”

Kung kanina enjoy na enjoy ako sa view dahil nasa itaas na floor ako, ngayon sana ay nasa lower floor na lang ako para matapos na ito.

“Everything’s clear. You proposed because of your lola. Tama naman ako, ’di ba?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s settled.”

My traitor eyes glanced at his reflection. I chastised myself. Ayoko nga siyang makita, e! He looked so delicious in that uniform! And he’s even hotter now when he looked so frustrated. His forehead was creased and there was a scowl on his face. Bahala ka d’yan.

“Yes, she’s been asking me to find someone I’d want to settle down with, but it’s not as if she threatened me to get married.”

I remained quiet.

It’s been more than a month.

Okay na ako. Medyo. But certainly not as hurt as I was the night I broke off the short lived engagement.

Medyo tanggap ko na na magiging single ako for life. Buti na lang uso na ngayon ang pagiging plantita at fur momma. Ayan na ang bagong life goal ko.

Finally, the elevator stopped on my floor. Kalmado akong naglakad palabas. I didn’t want him to think that his presence disarms me. Never namang nangyari ’yun. I liked him so much, but I never allowed myself to like him—or anyone—beyond reproach.

Lagi akong nagtitira para sa sarili ko.

Para kapag may mga ganitong nangyari, kaya kong pulutin iyong nasira.

When I stopped in front of my room, I tried to get the card from my wallet pero napa-simangot ako nang makita ko si Levi sa likuran ko.

“Seriously, this is stalking,” sabi ko sa kanya.

“Let’s talk.”

“No.”

“Julienne—”

“I don’t like repeating myself, okay? The engagement’s off. I’m not your girlfriend or fiancée. We’re exes. Just stay away from me and we’ll be fine.”

I opened the door and got in. I turned around to close it, pero nakita ko si Levi na nandun pa rin at naka-tayo. He was looking at me like he wanted to beg me to talk to him. But what’s the point? All the facts are clear. Ano pa ba ang mababago?

“What?” I asked as I held the door, preparing to slam it shut.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Noted. Are you done?”

I saw him briefly close his eyes in frustration. Nang buksan niya ang mga mata niya, his jaw clenched. Mukhang nanggigil na ’to sa akin at malapit nang mapikon. Siya kasi, e. Ayaw pa akong tantanan. Nasanay kaya siya sa mga babae na huma-habol sa kanya? Well, asa pa siya. Never kong ginawa iyon at never kong gagawin. ’Di sa lalaki umiikot ang mundo ko.

“Can I please talk to Julienne—my girlfriend—the one who listens?”

I openly rolled my eyes. “My god, Levi. We’re over. Ano ba’ng parte doon ang hindi mo maintindihan?”

“I don’t understand why it was so easy for you to just walk away! You didn’t even bother to listen and to understand!” he said, his voice laced with obvious anger. “You just…” He paused and drew a deep breath. “You just walked away. Just like that.”

He was staring at me so intently that I averted my gaze.

The way he was looking at me… para bang kasalanan ko ang lahat.

“We’re over—”

“Let’s discuss that first.”

“No—”

“Then we’re not yet over.”

“Can you please let me fucking finish!” I seethed.

“So fucking annoying, right?” he shot back. “That’s what you did to me that night. You fucking accused me of things and didn’t even bother to let me explain myself without cutting me off. How’s that feel, Julienne?”

My lips parted in a mixture of anger and annoyance.

The audacity of this pilot!

Ugh! Bakit kasi siya naka-ganyan?! It was distracting me and confusing me!

“Just get out,” I said, turning around and walking away again. But he quickly grabbed my arm and made me look at him. “For god’s—”

Tumigil ang paghinga ko nang maramdaman ko iyong labi niya sa labi ko. He wasn’t moving. It was almost like he was afraid to move. But I could feel his breathing. I could feel him. He’s so close.

“Please… Let’s talk…” he whispered against my lips.

Hindi ako naka-sagot.

I took a step back.

My lips parted.

I was ready to tell him to fuck off…

But that damned uniform!

“Fuck,” I uttered to myself before I closed the distance and grabbed Levi towards me. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 10

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY10 Chapter 10

“Julienne—”

“Shut up,” I said as I almost wreck his uniform because that was how badly I wanted him right at that moment. “Please shut up,” I pleaded once again because I didn’t want him to say anything that might ruin the moment provided by his panty dropping uniform.

Damn it!

Lakas maka-wala sa huwisyo ng uniform na ’yan!

Levi, good for him, finally understood my request and stopped calling my name. He helped me get his uniform off of him. May extra ba siyang dala na ganito? Paano kapag nasira ko ’to?

I moaned so hard when he took control and pushed me against the wall. I heard him unzipping his pants kaya mabilis ko siyang sinabayan at hinubad din iyong shorts ko.

And then off came my panties.

Peste.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Don’t I look sure enough?” I replied as he anchored my leg on his waist. I was almost panting because I felt him against my entrance. Fucking Levi and his talented dick! Nakaka-wala ng self-control!

“We were still fighting a moment ago,” he said, rubbing his fucking dick against my core. Tangina talaga nito. Sobrang unfair!

“And now we’re having sex. Catch up,” I shot back as I used all the energy I had left in me and pushed him hanggang sa mapa-higa siya sa kama. He’s using sex to control me or whatever and I wasn’t having any of that. Hindi niya ako pwedeng bitinin para makinig sa sasabihin niya.

Levi looked so surprised when I got on top of him and began to ride him. Whatever. Nasanay kasi siya na lagi siya ang nasusunod dati. Well, that was before when I was still careful not to put a dent in his ego. I was just always careful around him.

Not anymore.

I didn’t want to impress him.

“Fuck,” I moaned as I got him fully inside me. Mabilis na naghanap ako ng makaka-pitan o mahahatak. But then Levi sat down and put my hand on his shoulder.

“We’re still talking after this,” he said.

“God, I love sex with you,” mabilis kong sagot as I rode him faster. He’s quite literally the best sex I ever had and it’s quite a pity kung last na ’to! The way he used to throw me on the bed and pin me against the wall? THE FUCKING BEST.

“Can’t you love me as a person and not just my dick?” he responded as he thrusted his hips upward that made me roll my eyes in pure satisfaction.

“Shut up.”

“You’re beyond frustrating,” he said again as he slid his dick off of me. I was about to growl at him when he suddenly flipped me over again began taking me from behind. “So frustrating,” he continued as he thrusted from behind me.

I bit my lip so hard.

Fuck.

Still my favorite.

“S-so what if I’m frustrating? I’m not yours to handle,” I said, trying so hard to string the words along because this guy was fucking me so hard na nauntok na ako sa headboard ng kama. And I really hate bumping my head dahil feeling ko may namamatay na braincells sa utak ko. May presentation pa man din ako bukas! But this kind of bumping? This I’d allow.

“The fact that we’re in your bed having sex makes me think that you’re still mine to handle,” he said and then pulled my hair, making me look at him. And even before I could say anything smart, he reached for my lips and kissed me.

Damn him and his magnificent dick!

---

Levi would probably be furious that I just left him sleeping in my bed after making me come at least 4 times last night—really, hindi ko na maalala lahat ng nangyari! At one point, feeling ko delirious na ako sa mga ginawa niya sa akin.

But the responsible part of me still managed to wake me up early dahil alam ko na may presentation ako. So I got a hoodie, covered myself up, got all my things out, and went downstairs to get another room.

Last night was a… mistake.

It was so good, but nevertheless a mistake.

“Malandi ka kasi,” sabi ko sa sarili ko habang nagme-makeup nang matindi dahil kailangan kong takpan iyong eyebags ko dahil halos wala akong tulog sa ginawa ni Levi sa akin kagabi. And the outfit I brought for the presentation showed a portion of my chest. And that damned pilot left a lot of marks na kailangan ko pa tuloy takpan ng concealer!

After a good hour, natapos na rin ako. I glossed over the notes once again bago ako sumakay sa elevator. Sumilip nga muna ako bago pumasok dahil mamaya ay nandun si Levi. Effort pa akong lumipat ng room tapos makikita ko rin siya sa elevator?

Thankfully, hindi ko siya kasakay. Dumiretso ako sa meeting room kung saan gaganapin iyong conference. I was assisted at dinala sa isang kwarto para sa mga magpe-present. I greeted the people there and made small talks. I mean, I’d probably never see these people again, but there’s nothing wrong with trying to network.

I was so engrossed with listening to this one doctor from Japan who was talking about his edge-cutting technology regarding heart transplant. Ang dami ko pa sanang gustong itanong but I was told na it was my turn to present na.

I stopped and took a couple of deep breaths.

“Just do what you practiced,” I uttered to myself. “You’ll be fine, Salvacion.”

I opened my eyes and smiled before I walked towards the stage.

---

It felt like I was floating on thin air.

I did it.

Nakapagpresent ako!

I presented a research that I worked hard for! This felt like such a huge accomplishment for me. Para sa isang tao na pinaka-ayaw na ginagawa ay ang magresearch, this felt like such a huge feat.

After I presented, I listened to the other presentors. Sayang kung nandito sana si Niles. Sure ako magugustuhan niya ’to. Tsk. Iyong skin care nga pala nung gagang ’yun. Sabi ko 3 lang tapos 5 sinend sa akin. Sinamahan pa ng picture ng anak niya. Gaga talaga.

There was an after party—or more like some sort of soiree after the presentation. There were champagne, cheese, and charcuterie going around.

“Congrats on the presentation.”

Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. “You’re the horse guy.”

Natawa siya. “Horse guy? I prefer Ilya.”

“Ilya. Right,” I said as I sipped the champagne. “You were in Balesin, and now you’re here. Is it still presumptuous of me to think that maybe you’re stalking me?”

He shrugged. “Maybe,” he replied. “But more like the world of medicine is smaller than we think.”

I raised my glass. “Ain’t that the truth,” I said. “So, did you present?” tanong ko dahil hindi ko siya nakita.

“Yeah. First.”

“Oh. Sayang, I wasn’t able to listen,” I replied. “What was your presentation about?” I asked, genuinely curious. So far kasi, lahat ng narinig ko ay sobrang fascinating. I was sure na maganda din iyong sa kanya kasi hindi naman siya mapupunta rito kung hindi.

“It’s actually about—”

“There you are.”

Halos mabitawan ko iyong hawak kong champagne flute nang maramadaman ko iyong pagdausdos ng kamay ni Levi sa bewang ko. He was standing next to me—dangerously close next to me.

“You weren’t there when I woke up,” he said that caused the man in front of me to awkwardly smile. Gago talaga ’tong si Levi. Kulang na lang ihian ako just to mark his territory.

“Excuse us,” sabi ko kay Ilya habang naka-ngiti na humihingi ng pasensya sa kawalan ng manners ng lalaki sa tabi ko. Naglakad ako palayo. I really wasn’t a fan of public confrontations lalo na rito kung nasaan iyong mga tao na nasa same field ko.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked right away.

“Well, I woke up and you’re gone—literally. You took all your things with you.”

“So?” I asked, my forehead creased.

“So?” balik na tanong niya.

“I mean, so?” I asked again. “I left because I wanted to leave. Seriously. May hindi ba malinaw sa mga sinabi ko sa ’yo?”

Talking with this guy… seriously! Para na akong sirang plaka sa kakaulit sa mga sinasabi ko. I felt like I needed to start making flash cards para sa mga gusto kong sabihin sa kanya.

“What you say and what you do are confusing,” he said.

“What about it?” I asked and then sipped my champagne.

“You said you’re done with me, then you slept with me.”

“So?”

“So?” tanong niya na parang tumataas na naman ang presyon sa akin. “What do you mean so?”

I scoffed. “Come on, Levi. You and I—we’re both cut from the same clothe. You used to sleep around; I used to sleep around. You know how this goes.”

His jaw clenched. “What?” he asked, sharply. Nakikita ko iyong pamumula ng tenga niya. He’s getting real pissed at me. Ngayon ko lang yata siya nakita na ganito.

Ang funny lang. I agreed to marry him without even seeing all sides of him—ni hindi ko pa nga pala siya nakikitang magalit.

“I didn’t tell you about that part of my life before because I wanted you to think that I’m marriage material or something. I don’t know. I was… stupid for a while there,” sabi ko habang diretsong naka-tingin sa mga mata niya. “But this is who I am,” I continued, shrugging and smiling. “I sleep with guys I find attractive, and then I move on with my life. As how it should be. This shouldn’t be news to you.”

Mabilis na kumuha siya ng champagne sa dumaan na waiter. He finished it in one gulp and threw me an accusatory look.

“Fine,” he shot back. “You used to sleep around? Fine. I don’t care. As long as you don’t do that while you’re with me.”

“God, wala na ngang tayo!”

“That hasn’t been discussed yet.”

“Well, it’s an end deal on my part,” I said. “I don’t wanna marry you anymore. The train has left the station. Get over it.”

God! Gusto ko pa sanang magstay dito para makipagmingle sa mga ibang tao kaso lang ay tumataas na rin ang presyon ko sa ka-kulitan ng lalaking ’to.

I marched outside the room and headed straight to the elevator. I didn’t even need to turn around to see that Levi’s still following me.

“Seriously, you’re starting to turn into my stalker,” I said while my arms were crossed as I waited for the elevator. “How did you even know that I was there?”

“There was a board with your name on it.”

Oo nga pala. Akala ko sinabi sa kanya sa front desk. That would’ve been a massive violation of privacy both nung receptionist and ni Levi. Ang lakas maka-stalker!

“Levi,” I said nang pumasok din siya sa elevator. “You’re a very good-looking guy. I’m sure you’ll find someone else.”

His jaw clenched. “I’m not here to find someone else—in case I haven’t been clear enough—you’re who I want, Salvacion.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, Mejia,” I replied. “I don’t really do second chances. You had yours and you blew it. Deal with the repercussions.”

The door opened and I stepped out. Lumingon ako. He was still inside. I arched a brow at him dahil akala ko ay lalabas siya at susundan ako.

“Well, there’s always a first time for everything,” he said as he pushed the close button. “You’ll still see more of me, Julienne Salvacion,” he continued as the door between us closed. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 11

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY11 Chapter 11

“Seriously?” I asked, frowning nang si Levi ang makita ko nang buksan ko ang pinto. I was only in my bathrobe. Binuksan ko lang talaga iyong pinto dahil akala ko ay iyon iyong order ko na room service. I was tired from all the gravity defying stunts that I did last night tapos nakaka-pagod din iyong presentation. As much as I wanted to go around, my body needed rest.

Balak ko sanang manood ng koreanovela and to eat on bed… but then again, nandito na naman itong asungot na ’to.

“Dinner?” he asked.

“I’m good.”

“How about going around? I can be your tourguide,” he said.

“Pass.”

“Sex, then?”

“Wala ako sa mood.”

His brow arched a little. “I have a remedy for that,” he said, and then lifted up a paper bag. Na-curious ako kaya kinuha ko iyon. I frowned so hard nang makita ko na nandun iyong uniform niya. Leche ’to, ah! He knew my weakness and he’s exploiting it!

I hated it, but I was impressed.

“Fuck you,” I shot at him.

“Yes, please?” he replied, looking at me with his puppy eyes.

Nakaka-loka ’tong lalaki na ’to!

I rolled my eyes at saka tinalikuran siya. I heard him laugh a little. Mukhang nag-e-enjoy siya na bwisitin ako.

“So, what is it? Dinner, stroll, or sex? I’m honestly good with any. Although you look like you’re more prepared for sex.”

Bigla akong napa-hawak sa suot ko. Bigla tuloy akong na-conscious! Kaasar! As if naman mahihiya pa ako e bawat sulok ng katawan ko e nakita na nitong si Levi—’di lang nakita, natikman din. So wala na talaga akong dapat ikahiya.

“Shut up,” I replied. “If you wanna stay here, fine. Wala naman na rin akong energy makipag-argue sa ’yo ngayong gabi,” I continued as I plopped myself on the bed and made myself comfortable. Bahala siya d’yan. Mapapagod lang din ako na sabihan siya na tigilan ako kasi obviously, hindi naman siya nakikinig.

“Can you scooch?” he asked nang maupo siya sa gilid ng kama.

“Lumipat nga ako ng room, dito ka naman nanggulo,” sagot ko nang wala rin akong nagawa kundi ang umusod dahil tinulak niya rin ako. Gago talaga.

“Have you eaten dinner?” he asked.

“Room service.”

“Don’t you wanna go out? I know a nice resto that you’ll love.”

“Pagod ako.”

“Oh, okay. We can just stay here,” sabi niya tapos ay naramdaman ko na pina-libot niya iyong braso niya sa balikat ko at hinalikan iyong gilid ng ulo ko. “I’m sorry. Please, let’s stop fighting.”

I remained silent.

My eyes were glued at the TV.

“My lola has brain tumor.”

Napa-awang ang labi ko.

We were sitting on the bed with our backs against the headrest. There was some show playing in the background, but I was more attuned to the words that were coming from Levi’s mouth.

“Her doctor said that it’s inoperable.”

“Did you ask for a second opinion? A third?” I asked, unable to help myself. As much as I hated what Levi did, I liked his lola. She’s nice to me. She wasn’t mean. Actually, lahat ng kamag-anak niya ay mabait sa akin. Though I really started to wonder kung mabait lang ba sila sa akin because they needed me to feel welcome dahil kailangan kong magpa-kasal kay Levi.

Really…

That one simple omitted truth did a number.

Siguro kay Levi maliit na bagay lang ’yun.

But it made me question a lot of things…

“Eight,” he replied. “They all said the same thing.”

My lips just parted, but no words came out. Suddenly, I didn’t know what to say… It’s just different this time. Hindi kagaya ng kapag kinakausap namin iyong pamilya ng pasyente.

This was different.

This was Levi’s lola.

I just couldn’t bear to tell him that he’d be fine because I didn’t know that for sure. I never really lost anyone… Buhay pa pareho ang mga magulang ko. Wala pa talagang nawawala na malapit sa akin.

But I’d seen people lose people.

It looked… so hard.

The kind of pain that you’d want to forever avoid if only you could.

“It’s not as if she gave me an ultimatum,” he said, pulling me closer to him. “She just told me… She told me that she worries about me, and that if I could, I should find myself someone who’d love me and take care of me.”

“Then why did you suddenly propose when I told you na pinuntahan niya ako sa hospital?” I asked. I felt him taking in a deep breath.

Levi removed his arm around my shoulders. It felt… I didn’t know the exact words. But definitely, having his arm around me felt much better.

I liked him still.

I never said that I didn’t anymore.

I just couldn’t trust him—and that made all the difference.

“Because I thought she told you that she wanted me to get married. Lately, she’s been acting differently… The doctor said that her abrupt personality change’s part of the symptoms,” he said. He reached for the remote and turned the TV off. Pumihit siya paharap sa akin. “I wanted to ask you if she told you anything, but I coudln’t exactly. Julienne, you weren’t exactly forthcoming with me. I’m not an idiot—I know that there were lots of things you weren’t telling me.”

I arched my brow. “So, now this is my fault?”

He frustratedly raked his fingers through his hair. “No. God, no. Why are you so good at using my words against me?”

I shrugged. “Talent.”

He groaned. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang hawakan ng dalawang kamay niya ang mukha ko at saka hinalikan ako. Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I thought it was just a peck… but then he started kissing me.

Slowly.

So painfully slow…

But this felt different…

I felt the beat of my heart as his lips moved against mine.

“You’re so frustrating, you know that?” he asked when he finished nibbling my lips.

“So I’ve been told. A couple of times. Today.”

He chuckled against my lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you. I was just… conflicted,” he said. He pulled back a little. “Had I told you earlier, would you have gotten mad?”

I wasn’t able to answer.

Hindi ko rin kasi alam.

Getting married to satisfy a dying person’s wish didn’t exactly sit well with me. Kasi buhay ko pa rin naman ’to.

“It’s okay,” I said instead. “I’m not mad at that anymore.”

A smile appeared on his face. “Really?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Thank God,” he replied.

“But we’re still over.”

The smile on his face quickly vanished. Mabilis kong inabot iyong remote at saka binuksan iyong TV. Kahit pa hindi ako naka-tingin kay Levi ay kita ko ang pagka-gulo sa mukha niya.

“I’m sorry… but what? And why?”

Finally, the doorbell rang. Nandito na sa wakas iyong pagkain ko! I ran towards the door and got the food. Pagbalik ko ay agad akong natigilan nang makita ko si Levi na naka-tayo at naka-tingin sa akin. There was a mixture of confusion and frustration on his face. I grabbed a slice of pizza on the plate and bit on it.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you serious?”

I nodded. “It’s better this way, trust me. We wanted to get married too fast. Ni hindi pa nga natin kilala iyong isa’t-isa. See how we’re still discovering a lot of things about each other ngayon? What if magpa-kasal nga tayo tapos you discover things about me that you hate? Hassle, right?”

His face was contorted in confusion. “Help me here, Julienne. But isn’t the sense of marriage is to be there for each other both in good times and bad times? What kind of husband will I be if I’d just ditch you when I find something I don’t like?”

“I don’t know, Levi.”

“So, if you marry me and you find something you don’t like, your solution would be to what? Hide in the hospital?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course not. Magpapa-couple’s therapy tayo.”

Natawa siyang bigla. “There you go.”

I rolled my eyes again. “That was a solution to a hypothetical problem, okay?” sabi ko at saka dumiretso para maglakad pabalik sa kama. Pero bago pa man ako maka-balik, hinarang ako ni Levi. I looked up at him. My brows were arched slightly.

“What… are you doing?” I asked as I watched him untie my robe.

“I’m calling a timeout. Arguing with you is making me horny,” sabi niya at tuluyan nang nahubad iyong robe ko.

“I told you I’m tired,” I said as he began kissing my neck. He gently bit me there and I moaned. Ugh! Involuntary reaction. “Ano ba…” I mewled when I felt his hand starting to wander down. Agad kong nabitawan iyong slice ng pizza at napa-hawak sa balikat niya nang maramdaman ko iyong daliri niya.

“You’re tired?” he asked as he thrusted his fingers in me.

“Yeah…” I replied, panting hardly.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to ride me tonight,” he whispered in my ear as he gently bit it. Pota talaga ’to! He really knew what words to say to open my legs!

“Levi…” I said. 

He stopped and looked at me. He licked his lower lip. “If you don’t want to… I’ll stop,” he said, looking at me seriously. 

And there I was, panting and moaning and so confused! And horny!

I stared at him. 

He arched his brow. “So?”

I groaned and pulled him close again. “Yes! God, why am I so weak?!”

And so there I was… completely naked while Levi’s still in his white shirt and denim pants… Making me come without even removing any article of clothing from his body.

“I hate you…” I moaned as I heard him undoing his zipper.

“No, you don’t,” he replied as I felt him sliding his dick in me. “And even if you do, the line that separates love and hate is a very thin line,” he continued as began thrusting, making me forget why I was even mad at him in the first place. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 12

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY12 Chapter 12

“What?” I asked because Niles was looking at me while grinning. “Kulang pa ba ’yang isang paper bag ng skin care products mo, Nileen?” dagdag ko pa. But even my mean-spirit wasn’t enough to wipe the grin off of her face. Problema nitong babaeng ’to?

“Sabi ni Levi magkasama raw kayo sa Korea.”

“Ang chismoso din nung isang ’yun, no?”

Tumawa si Niles. “Ikaw ata topic nila ni Marcus lagi, e.”

“Isa pa ’yang asawa mo, ha. Baka nalilimutan niya mas nauna kaming naging magka-kilala.”

“Mas nauna naman silang maging friends. Remember before lagi mong nilalayasan si Marcus kasi naiintimidate ka?” she asked, as if she wanted to shove the memory down my throat. Fine! Nakaka-intimidate naman kasi siya—well, at least professionally. Gago lang ’yang si Marcus at napaka-korni pero kapag trabaho? He’s so magaling. Like literally minsan naiisip ko prodigy siya.

“Whatever,” I just said kasi wala akong maisagot kasi totoo naman.

“So… ano’ng meron?”

“Wala.”

“Ano nga?”

“Nagsex kami. Okay na? Happy na?”

She frowned. “Nag-usap man lang ba kayo?”

“Mej.”

“Ano’ng mej?”

I shrugged. “Nag-explain na siya about sa naging problem namin and nakinig naman ako, sister Niles.”

“So… okay na kayo?”

I grabbed the charts and began walking, pero itong si Nileen ay naka-chismosa mode yata kaya sinusundan ako. Wala bang pasyente ’tong tao na ’to at naka-sunod sa akin? O baka naman mas lamang ang interes niya sa ‘love life’ ko kaysa sa pagsagip ng buhay ng mga tao?

Misplaced talaga priorities nito minsan, e.

“He explained and I listened. I don’t owe him anything.”

She groaned. “Yanyan naman!”

“What?”

“Alam mo, sa lahat ng nilandi mo through the years, kay Levi lang kita nakita na masaya as in—”

“Tigilan mo nga ako. Korni mo.”

“Seryoso kasi!” she said, pouting a little. Kairita, ha. Nung nasa Korea kami, ’di ako nilubayan ni Levi kaya naman umay na umay na ako sa mukha niya. Buti na lang kailangan niyang umuwi nung 4th day ko dahil babalik pa siya sa Pinas kaya naman nagkaroon ako ng isang free day to roam around without Levi shadowing me.

Tapos ngayon sa Pinas, Levi na naman! Sarap sakalin nitong si Niles gamit ’yung stethoscope niya, e.

“Nagde-date ka ng ibang mga tao before, pero hindi mo naman sine-seryoso. Kaya nga ang dali mong maka-move on sa susunod na lalaki.”

“Ang point ba nito ay humanap na ako ng bagong lalaki para masabi mo na naka-move on na ako?”

She groaned. “You know what I mean!” she said. Kulang na lang magstomp siya ng paa niya, e. Mas mature pa ata anak niya sa kanya. “Usually with other guys, in 2 weeks max may bago ng kapalit. Si Levi, ano? 3 months na pero wala pa rin.”

“Busy kasi ako, duh? Remember nagpresent ako ng research?”

“Nah.”

“Suit yourself,” I said and started walking away.

“You know I’m right!” she shouted before me. Ingay!

I did the rounds with the interns and residents. I was busy the entire day. Pahinga ko lang ay kumain. Tapos on call ako. I was trying to nap in the on call room when my phone vibrated.

‘Dinner?’

‘Who’s this?’

‘Future husband.’

‘Stalker.’

‘Did you erase my number?’

‘Full storage na phone ko.’

‘Lol sure. But dinner?’

‘I’m working.’

‘I’ll drop by and bring you dinner.’

I tossed my phone and tried to sleep. Wala akong energy sa mga hanash ni Levi. If he thought that me having sex with him meant that we’re just continuing what we had, then he’s in for a surprise.

I meant every word when I said that I wanted him out of my life. I do not like being lied to simply because doing so would make me lose my trust. And how do I live with someone whom I do not trust?

Sakit lang sa ulo.

I’d always wonder kung ano iyong totoo sa kasinungalingan.

He’d just drive me insane with suspicion.

I was in the middle of sleep when I felt someone sitting on the bed. Mabilis na nagbukas ako ng mata. I was a lighsleeper kapag nasa hospital ako dahil kailangan kong magising if ma-page ako.

“You fucking stalker,” I said when I saw Julian sitting on the edge of my bed. I groaned even more when I saw him in his pilot uniform. Gago talaga! Kairita! Exploiting my weakness!

“Niles said you’re here.”

I grabbed the pillow and covered my face and groaned in frustration. Binenta na talaga ako ng best friend ko!

“Just landed from London,” he said. “Got you those black tea you like.” My face still remained covered. “Lola asked about you.”

“Tell her we’re over.”

“I don’t like lying.”

“Then tell her we’re over.”

“I told you, we’re still under negotiation.”

Napa-upo ako. I just snatched the paper bag Levi brought. Nilabas ko iyong laman nun and began eating. He’s here to annoy me again, so might as well get something out of it. Kinain ko na lang iyong dala niyang food from Yabu.

“Thanks,” I said when he opened the bottled water and handed it to me. He was just quietly watching me eat. Pinanood niya lang ako hanggang sa maubos ko iyong dala niyang Katsu.

“Why are you still doing this?” he asked.

Tumayo ako at saka kinuha iyong coat ko at sinuot iyon. Then I tied my hair into a high ponytail. “Doing what?”

“This,” he replied, standing up. He was looking at me directly. “You’re still mad.”

“I’m not,” sagot ko at saka kinuha iyong stethoscope ko at sinabit sa leeg ko. Kinuha ko rin iyong ballpen ko at nilagay sa bulsa. Lagi ko kasing naiiwan. May magnanakaw pa naman ata ng ballpen dito, kaloka.

“Then what?”

“I just don’t trust you anymore. That’s it.”

His jaw clenched for a second. “That was one thing.”

“And apparently, one thing can change everything,” I replied, shrugging. I looked at him and sadly smiled. “You and I were great together, Levi. But I was serious when I said I’m done. I’m serious when I said I don’t do second chances because I really don’t. Now, you can come here in your pilot uniform and maybe one of those times, I’d give in and have sex with you, but then again, that’d be just it—sex.”

I placed my hands on his shoulders. God, he’s toned. Sarap talaga nito, e.

“You’ll find someone else, okay? And when you do, don’t lie to her,” dagdag na sabi ko bago lumabas at iniwan siya sa on call room.

---

“Happy 33rd birthday!” Niles, Marcus, and Nini greeted.

“Thank you!” I replied, smiling.

“Ano’ng wish mo for ninang?” Niles asked Nini who was sitting on Marcus’ lap.

“Baby,” Nini replied which made me choke on my drink. Punyetang Niles ’to! Pati anak dinamay sa kagagahan! It’s been months since I last saw Levi and I thought it’s a finished issue, but then again itong si Niles ay ayaw talagang tumigil. Kaloka!

I stood up and went to the sink para maglinis dahil nabulunan talaga ako sa kagagahan ni Niles.

“Ayaw ka talagang tigilan ni Niles,” natatawang sabi ni Marcus.

“Sa totoo lang. Kung hindi buntis ’yang babaeng ’yan, bibigwasan ko na talaga,” sagot ko habang tinitignan nang masama si Niles na tinatawanan lang ako.

“Di ka curious kay Levi?” Marcus asked.

“Pati ba naman ikaw?” I replied, groaning.

Marcus shrugged. “Gusto mo bang malaman kung tinatanong ka pa ba niya sa akin?”

Umiling ako. “Nope,” I replied as I turned my back on him and got myself another glass of wine.

Levi? Please.

Bahala siya sa buhay niya.

Ever since he just disappeared, I clocked more hours in the hospital na practically ay doon na yata ako naka-tira. For some reason din kasi ay naka-rating sa pamilya ko iyong tungkol kay Levi and they demanded na ipa-kilala ko. Nung umuwi ako once ay iyon ang tanong nila sa akin kaya naman ’di na ako umuwi ulit. Kulit, e.

Sabi nga nila ay mahirap maging successful sa both lovelife and career—bihira lang iyong nakukuha ang both kagaya nitong epal na mag-asawa na ’to.

Sobrang okay ng career ko ngayon.

I should be contented.

May vibrator naman sa mga gabing malungkot ako.

“Sure ka na okay ka lang na aalis mag-isa?” Niles asked after tabihan ako. Nandoon ako sa likuran ng bahay nila. Sobrang laki ng backyard nila. There’s a small outside. Minsan feeling ko nagkaka-sala ako kapag nandito ako at nagsu-swimming si Marcus at Nini dahil napapa-tingin talaga ako kay Marcus. Iniiwasan ko lang dahil tutusukin talaga ni Niles ang mga mata ko. Selosa ’to, e.

“Yeah.”

“That’s Europe,” she said.

“I know. I booked the ticket.”

She rolled her eyes. “I mean, ’di ka naman nagta-travel internationally talaga, right? Tapos Europe pa talaga? ’Di ka ba natatakot?”

I just shrugged.

Months ago, Levi told me that maybe he’d bring me to Europe. I thought that maybe that’d happen. Pero hindi. Other things happened. But that didn’t mean that it couldn’t happen. I just needed to make it happen. Bakit ako aasa sa iba?

Besides, 33 na ako.

I needed to do this things habang kaya ko pa, noh! I didn’t want to wake up one day regretting all the things I could’ve done but didn’t. Kung maliligaw, e ’di maligaw. Charge it to experience.

“It’s the age of Uber and Grab, Niles,” I said. “As long as I have Internet and money, I’ll be okay.”

“Okay…”

“Bilhan na lang kitang pasalubong, okay?”

“Wag na,” she said. “Ang dami-dami ng pupuntahan mo, e. Mahihirapan kang magdala.”

I laughed and playfully nudged her. “Yie, concerned.”

She rolled her eyes. “Malamang! Feeling ko minsan ikaw talaga ang panganay ko. Ang pasaway mo kasi.”

Tumawa na naman ako. “Gusto ko lang mag-enjoy, grabe naman!” sagot ko. I worked endlessly and tirelessly for the past couple of months para payagan ako rito. Niles thought that was me trying to divert my attention from Levi, but truth was, I just love my job.

And fine, maybe there’s a sliver of truth to what she was saying.

But wala na si Levi.

Ayokong magmukmok.

Tuloy pa rin ang buhay.

---

That night, I slept over dahil ayokong magdrive dahil naka-inom ako ng wine. The next day, sinamahan ako ni Niles na bumili ng gagamitin ko for my European trip. Siya pa talaga ang may dalang checklist sa aming dalawa. She made me buy a luggage na may bukasan sa itaas para daw ’di na ako mahirapan na magbukas and all those adaptor and other stuff na apparently ay kailangan kapag aalis.

She also reminded me to be careful with my passport at visa para wala akong maging problema.

“So… see you in a month?” I asked.

“Ingat ka, okay? Message me whenever,” she said habang iyong asawa niya ang nagpapaka-hirap na ibaba ang gamit ko.

I nodded. “Yes, mommy.”

She rolled her eyes. “Seryoso kasi.”

“Oo nga,” natatawa kong sabi. “Wag kang manganganak habang wala ako! Ipapasok ko ulit ’yan sa pekpek mo.”

Nakita kong napa-tingin si Marcus sa aming dalawa. ’Di ko na lang siya pinansin. Akala mo ’di doctor na napapa-tingin sa ganong word. Balita ko pa naman ay sikat ’to nung nagrotation sa OB. Tsk.

Sinamahan ako nung pamilya na ’to habang naghihintay ng check-in. Seriously. Wala man akong maging family of my own, these people are my family. I choose them to be my family.

“So… this is it na talaga,” I said when the counters for my flight finally opened. “I’ll text you before magdepart iyong flight ko. Thank you for driving me here!” I continued before waving at them and pumila na ako sa counter.

I drank decaf coffee while waiting for boarding. And nung finally nasa loob na ako ng plane, I made myself comfortable in my seat. Ang binook ko ay economy seat lang, but when my parents heard about it, they upgraded me to first class… for some reason unknown.

“Thank you,” I said when then flight attendant handed me a glass of orange juice. Okay. I could do this. 20 hours non-stop flight. Kaya ’to.

I made myself comfortable and placed the eye cover para magready na magnap. Ni-recline ko na iyong upuan ko.

But then…

“Ladies and gentlemen, this Alicia and I’m your chief flight attendant. On behalf of Captain Leandro Aurelious Mejia and the entire crew, welcome aboard Philippine Airways’ non-stop service from Manila to Paris, France.”

What the fuck?!

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 13

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY13 Chapter 13

“Is there anything you need, Ma’am?”

Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na, pero madilim na rito sa loob ng eroplano dahil naka-patay na iyong mga ilaw. Most of the other passengers were already fast asleep, pero meron namang iba na gising pa at mukhang nagta-trabaho sa mga laptop nila.

At heto ako na kanina pa nagdedecide kung pwede na ba akong pumunta sa CR! Kanina kasi ay pumunta ako pero mabilis akong napa-atras at napa-balik sa upuan ko nang makita ko si Levi na nandoon at may kausap na flight attendant.

I squinted.

Aha.

Siya iyong kausap ni Levi kanina!

I tried to ignore it dahil paki ko ba? But my traitor eyes wouldn’t stop looking at this very aesthetically pleasing woman before me. She’s probably taller than me and she’s very morena kumpara sa akin na malapit ng maging si Casper the ghost sa sobrang putla dahil laging nasa loob ng ospital.

She also had this warm smile on my face—contrary to the permanent sneer on mine.

Ugh. Why was I comparing myself to her? Magka-iba naman kaming dalawa. Maganda siya, pero maganda rin naman ako. Pwede naman kaming maging magandang dalawa.

“I can go to the other CR, right?” I asked, instead.

“The other CR, Ma’am?” she asked, slightly confused.

“Yeah. Iyong nandun,” sabi ko sabay turo doon sa CR sa economy section nitong eroplano. The flight attendant—Athena, as indicated in her nameplate—nodded kahit nagtataka siya na kung bakit ba pupunta pa ako roon e may CR naman rito sa first class.

Quickly, I went to the CR dahil kanina pa talaga ako ihing-ihi! Ka-stress! Kanina pa dapat ako natutulog, e. Ni hindi ko na-enjoy iyong mga masasarap na pagkain na sine-serve sa akin. Panay alak lang ang hinihingi ko simula nung marinig ko na si Levi ang captain sa flight, tapos bigla ko naman siyang nakita sa CR.

This vacation… ka-stress!

Pagdating ko sa CR, it was occupied. Swerte ko naman na pati iyong nasa kabilang side ay occupied din! But my bladder was really full and I needed to pee already! Madilim naman so mabilis akong pumunta sa CR sa first class. Bahala na nga!

“Oh, thank god,” I said when I finally got to pee. Bakasyon na lang ay magkaka-UTI pa yata ako. Upon finishing, I washed my hands. And when I was about to open the door para lumabas, agad kong naisara ulit iyon nang marinig ko ang pamilya na boses na iyon.

“Anything you need, Cap?” rinig kong tanong nung Athena. Great. Silang dalawa na naman ang magka-usap. Wala bang ibang flight attendant dito?

“Anything you have plus water, please?” sagot ni Levi. Gusto kong sumilip kaya naman medyo finold ko iyong pintuan at nakita ko si Levi na naka-tayo roon habang si Athena ay hina-handa iyong pagkain para ilagay sa microwave. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes kasi ang cute nilang tignan. Nilandi rin kaya siya ni Levi? Lahat kaya ng flight attendant sa sasakyan na ito ay nilandi niya?

So many questions that I shouldn’t even be asking in the first place!

“Belated happy birthday,” sabi ni Levi.

“Thanks, Cap. ’Di ka pumunta.”

Levi laughed. “Sorry. I was busy. Bawi ako. What do you want?”

“Date nga, Cap.”

Tumawa lang si Levi. “Anything but that.”

“So, they’re right?”

“Excuse me?”

“That you’re really dating someone? Kasi dati ’di ka naman tumatanggi.”

Levi merely shrugged and just opened the bottle of water that he was holding. “Never pegged you as someone who listens to rumor.”

Sumandal din iyong Athena. She crossed her arms. Move ba iyon para makita ni Levi iyong cleavage niya? Kasi ginagamit ko rin iyon minsan sa kanya—dati.

“Well, it’s not a rumor if it’s true.”

“Fair enough,” sabi ni Levi na naka-natawa. “I was dating someone. Tried to make it work, but it didn’t. That’s the whole story.”

Athena nodded. “So… you’re single now?”

“Technically, yes.”

I didn’t know why this was… annoying to me. Kahit na ako nga iyong pilit nang pilit sa kanya dati na break na kami. But now that he’s finally acknowledging it? The hell because it’s not sitting well with me.

“So… can my birthday gift be a date?”

Muling natawa si Levi. “Friendly date, sure why not.”

“No. As in date-date,” sabi ni Athena while wiggling her eyebrows. Oh, yes. Sigurado ako isa ’to sa mga ka-milehigh member ni Levi!

“I’m sorry, but I’d have to pass,” sabi ni Levi at saka inilagay iyong bote sa basurahan. “You’re looking for fun, but I’m already done with that stage,” he continued and tapped her shoulder. “I’ll look for another gift for you, tho,” sabi niya pa bago naglakad paalis—presumably pabalik sa cockpit.

I was…

Wow.

He really was serious with me.

Ako naman iyong tinutukoy niya, ’di ba? Wala naman yata siyang ibang dinate before?

“Oh, my god. I’m sorry. Narinig mo ba? Nakaka-hiya,” sabi ni Athena nang lumabas ako sa CR. Well, wala naman akong choice! ’Di naman pwede na sa CR lang ako buong flight.

I awkwardly smiled at her. “Yeah. It was awkward for me, too.”

“Sorry,” she said, looking really embarrassed. “Was just trying my luck. Crush ko kasi talaga si Cap. Too bad ’di na available.”

Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya bago bumalik sa upuan ko.

Now, I feel guilty.

---

I wasn’t able to sleep during the duration of the flight. Bangag na bangag na ako at feeling ko constipated na ako sa dami ng nakain ko. Sobrang sakit na ng ulo ko na siguro ay matutulog muna ako sa hotel buong araw. Sayang iyong oras, but then again the headache was killing me.

Paglapag ng eroplano, I couldn’t help but smile—nasa Paris na talaga ako! I could hear people talking in French! And other languages. Iba-iba ang naririnig ko rito. But they speak English naman. I’d survive.

Dumiretso muna ako sa CR before I really needed to fucking poop. After pooping and thoroughly cleaning my hands, dumiretso na ako ng lakad papunta sa Immigration.

“Welcome to Paris. Enjoy your stay!” the immigration officer told me after stamping my passport. I couldn’t help but grin. I’d definitely enjoy my vacation! Naka-plano na iyong pagbisita ko sa Eiffel and pagpunta sa Louvre. And I shall eat croissants dahil sabi ni Niles, sobrang sarap daw ng croissant sa Paris.

After passing through the immigration, pumila na ako para hintayin iyong bag ko. Thankfully, nakuha ko na iyong bag ko. I only brought one backpack na pwedeng maging luggage with me. ’Di naman ako pumunta rito for OOTD, so I’d just reuse my clothes. Goal naman talaga ay gumala lang. And to eat lots of food.

I was dragging my bag with me and then stood on one side, trying to connect to the wi-fi. Worse comes to worst, I’d take a cab. But then again, ’di naman ako nagtatae ng pera so kung kaya na bus, why the hell not?

Finally, I got connected to the wifi. I checked kung saang bus ako sasakay para maka-rating sa mismong Paris and so that I could check-in sa hotel and para makapagpahinga na ako. I was so tired. Naka-upo lang naman ako pero pagod na pagod iyong katawang-lupa ko. This was worse than pulling 72 hours shift, for some reason.

I was walking, trying to ask around kung saan ko makikita iyong bus bay. But it was 3 in the morning. Konti lang iyong tao. Wala pa yatang marunong mag-English.

Fuck.

I took a deep breath. I needed to calm down. May google translate naman. But then, baka iba ang ma-translate at kung saan ako maka-rating! Gosh! I was starting to wish na sana ay nagsama ako ng kahit sino! Nakaka-hassle maligaw mag-isa! Wala kang ibang pwedeng sisihin kundi ang katangahan mo.

“Où est le bus?” tanong ko roon sa isang lalaki. I didn’t even know if I was pronouncing it correctly! Mukhang naintindihan niya naman ata iyong tanong ko, but then when he answered, he answered in French and I was just so fucking lost! Ano daw sinasabi niya?!

I probably looked like I was confused to death because I was. I looked around, trying to find help, nang matigilan ako nang makita ko si Levi na naka-tingin sa akin. His forehead was slightly creased… like he wasn’t sure kung ako ba talaga iyong nakikita niya. Another pilot tried to nudge him, but he just brushed him off and continued to stare at me.

“As tu compris?” the French guy asked.

“What?” I asked, confused.

Should’ve taken French in college. Pero malamang malilimutan ko rin agad iyon. Shet naman. How do I go around Paris nang ganito? Baka maligaw lang ako buong trip.

The guy stood up. He probably wanted to accompany me—probably—but alarm went through my system. Kaka-nood ko lang ng Taken, noh! Wala akong balak na ma-kidnap! Wala akong tatay na may military skills para sagipin ako!

“No, no,” I said, waiving my hands. “Merci,” I continued and began to walk away.

Fuck.

But walking away meant passing by Levi.

Who was still staring at me like he couldn’t believe I was here, too.

“Hey,” I said, smiling because what else would I do?

“Hey?” he replied. “Really? Hey?”

I shrugged. “Of all places, huh, sa Paris pa talaga tayo magkikita?”

“Why are you here?” he asked, looking pissed.

“Vacation. Duh,” sabi ko sa kanya. “Did you think that I was stalking you?”

His jaw clenched. “No. Because I’m not the kind of person who accuses someone of being a stalker.”

Napa-awang ang labi ko. “Are you fucking serious?”

“That’s a serious accusation that shouldn’t be given lightly. Do you know how many people are actually stalked?”

I blinked in disbelief. Was he really picking a fight with me? Dito pa talaga sa CDG?! “Excuse me?”

“Whatever,” he said, turning his back on me and pulled his freaking luggage. God, he just really looked good in that fucking uniform!

I stood there, trying to decide on what I should do. I knew I needed help—but I also didn’t want to ask Levi for help—not after the conversation we just had. Obviously, he’s not my biggest fan right now.

“Levi!” I called, going after him.

“What?” he asked, still walking.

“Nasan iyong bus dito?” He slightly arched his brow that he was amazed that I was actually asking for help. Well, I was all alone, half-way across the world, of course pride’s not my freaking priority right now! “Or taxi? I need to go to Maison Albar Hotel. Alam mo ba ’yun?”

Bigla siyang huminto.

He briefly closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.

Wow… asar na talaga siya sa ’kin?

“Well? Do you know where that hotel is?” I asked again, carefully this time dahil mukhang malapit na akong sipain ni Levi sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa akin.

“Are you alone?” he asked.

“Obviously—” I said in my smart tone that obviously made him even more irked. “Yup. Alone,” pagbabago ko ng sagot.

“And you didn’t even do research or anything?”

I shrugged. “I thought I’d just wing it.”

His lips slightly parted in annoyance. “Julienne, it’s fucking Paris. You have to be careful or you’d get scammed or worse—” sabi niya at saka napa-tigil. Inilipat niya iyong hawak niya na pilot cap sa kabilang kamay at saka napa-suklay sa buhok niya. “What’s the name of the hotel again?” he asked.

“Maison Albar Hotel,” sagot ko.

He got his phone and did search for the address online. Mukhang may data siya. I wanted to ask him kung saan makaka-bili ng sim pero mukhang ’di siya magandang pagtanungan ngayon.

“Can you just… I don’t know… talk to the taxi driver para mahatid ako?” I asked. “I can handle it from there.”

But instead, Levi dialed something on his phone. “Hey. You can go without me. I have to do something,” sabi niya bago ibaba iyong phone.

“You don’t have to do that,” sabi ko dahil mukhang nagpa-iwan siya sa service nila or something. Sabi kasi ni Levi ay may service daw ang airline papunta sa hotel nila—kasi ganon iyong nangyari nung nagkita kami sa Seoul.

Gosh.

Both international travel ko ay nagkikita kami ni Levi.

“Let’s go,” he said instead.

Tahimik akong naka-sunod sa kanya hanggang sa maka-rating kami sa labas ng airport. It’s so fucking cold! Kaso ay nasa loob ng bag ko iyong gloves ko.

“T-thank you,” I replied when he quietly handed me a pair of black gloves. Ni hindi ko nakita na kinuha niya iyon. Mabilis ko lang sinuot dahil nilalamig na talaga ako. God, I hoped hindi ganito ang panahon palagi! Hindi ako fan ng ganito ka-lamig!

Levi talked to the driver tapos ay sumakay kami sa loob ng taxi. He wasn’t talking. Tahimik lang siyang nandoon.

“I’m sorry.”

I knew I caught him off guard.

“I was too harsh the last time we saw each other. That was uncalled for. I’m sorry.”

It was just so pathetic of me because it took me eavesdropping para ma-realize na seryoso pala talaga si Levi sa akin. Why weren’t his words enough? Ganoon na ba talaga kalala ang trust issues ko? O ganoon lang talaga kababa ang confidence ko?

Either way, it’s just so sad.

“Fine,” he said.

“Fine?”

“Yeah. Apology accepted,” he replied.

“Okay…” sabi ko. “So, are we good?”

“Sure,” he said. “We can be friends.”

“Friends?”

“Yeah. I’m done chasing you and I’m done begging and apologizing for things I didn’t actually do. So we can be friend, that’s it,” he said and that was the last thing he said before he dropped me off in front of the hotel.

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 14

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY14 Chapter 14

Yup.

I should’ve done my research.

I woke up at around 6am and when I looked out the window, it was still pitch-black. And according to Google, mamaya pa raw mga 10am lalabas si Mr. Sun. Wala naman akong dalang laptop or libro para pampa-lipas oras. Shit. Wala pa rin akong simcard!

Pagdating ko sa baba, thankfully may breakfast na. Hindi naman ako naka-ranas ng jetlag dahil na rin siguro wala akong tulog sa eroplano at kumpleto naman ang beauty rest ko… Well, aside from the fact na inisip ko kagabi iyong sinabi ni Levi sa akin.

His timing, really! Magsasabi siya ng ganon sabay ibababa ako as harap ng hotel. Literally, I had no chance to say anything! Ganoon pala iyong feeling na wala sa ’yo iyong last word! Nakaka-frustrate na hindi mo maintindihan.

‘Where do I buy sim card?’

I texted Levi using iMessage. I knew I could just ask the reception, but I wanted a reason to talk to him. It’s not like I got off in seeing him beg! It was just that at that time, I wasn’t open to any explanation. All I knew was that he lied to me and I really didn’t like being lied to. Mabilis mawala ang tiwala ko at mahirap ibalik.

‘Ask the receptionist.’

‘I’m asking you.’

‘I don’t owe you anything.’

’Really? Ibabalik mo lang ba lahat ng sinabi ko sa ‘yo?’

He didn’t reply.

I saw him typing something. He typed for almost a minute. Then he stopped. My message just read as seen.

‘I already apologized. What more do you want?’

I saw him typing again. I waited to read his message again. But I received nothing again.

‘Fine. I’m sorry I asked. I’ll just wing this vacation.’

I tossed my phone back inside my bag at saka nagsimulang kumain. I was angrily biting on my croissant na hindi ko man lang ito ma-enjoy without thinking of Levi. Tsk. This vacation would’ve been better kung ’di niya ako sinungitan kagabi tapos doon siya sa room ko natulog. Sobrang pagod ako, so we wouldn’t have sex, but we’d cuddle and that would’ve been really nice.

Tsk.

Bibig mo kasi, Yanyan! Dami mong sinabi na ’di mo na mabawi ngayon! Kailan ka ba matututo? Isip muna bago magsalita! Gosh!

Though I tried to take my time, at around 7:30, natapos na rin akong kumain. Madilim pa rin sa labas. Pero safe naman siguro dito. Sa Pinas lang naman nakaka-takot na ma-gripuhan sa bawat sulok.

I asked the receptionist and they were accommodating naman. They even helped me set up the sim card. I thanked them. Finally, makaka-ikot na rin ako! ’Di naman siguro ako mawawala… May Internet naman na.

I looked up the schedule of Louvre and it said that it’d open ng 9am. Tinignan ko kung paano makaka-rating doon. I needed to go to a bus station and then ride a bus and then transferred. Okay. Mahaba-habang lakaran ’to. Tama nga si Niles na pilitin akong bumili ng bagong walking shoes dahil marami pala talaga akong lalakarin dito.

I got out of the hotel and began walking. Iyong isang kamay ko ay nasa loob ng coat pocket ko dahil sobrang lamig! I literally couldn’t feel my fucking face dahil sa lamig!

“Ang tagal ng araw!” I said while I was alone, walking. Naka-tingin lang ako sa phone ko para sundan iyong direction. Mabuti na lang talaga nag-install si Niles ng maraming app sa phone ko na makaka-tulong para magnavigate. Nanay ko talaga ’yun, e.

I stopped. I was confused kung saan ako liliko. I probably looked so helpless kaya naman kinausap ako bigla nung katabi ko. I was about to tell him that I didn’t need any help—mahirap na—but when I saw his face, I bit my tongue back.

“Besoin d’aide?” he asked.

“Pardon?” I asked back. Ubos na iyong baon kong French.

“English?” tanong niya ulit. I nodded, a little too enthusiastically because damn, nanonosebleed ako rito! “I asked if you need help. You seem lost.”

I smiled, shyly. Fuck. This guy’s hot! As in he’s that classic hot white male. Complete package ng blonde hair, striking blue eyes, and that accent? Fuck.

“Oh, yes,” I replied, laughing. “I need to go to the bus station. I’ll go to Louvre.”

“The Louvre? You’re a tourist?”

“Yup.”

“You’re a… Filipino?”

Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko. “Yes! Have you been to the Philippines?” I asked. Kwento kasi ni Niles, based sa experience niya, dito raw sa West, kapag Asia, it’s either Japan or China lang ang alam nila. So, it’s a pleasant surprise na alam nitong kausap ko ang Pinas!

“Once,” he said. “Attended a friend’s wedding.”

“Oh,” I replied, still smiling. “So, did you visit—”

Pero bago pa man matapos ang sinasabi ko ay naka-ramdam na naman ako ng kamay sa bewang ko. I needed not to look para malaman kung sino iyon.

“What are you doing?” I asked Levi who was standing next to me. Mukhang nagulat din iyong kausap ko.

“Je vais le prendre d’ici,” sabi ni Levi at biglang ngumiti sa akin iyong lalaki at umalis. What?! I looked at Levi after I removed his hand on my waist. “You’re welcome,” he said.

My lips parted in disbelief. I blinked in a mixture of confusion and frustration. “What?” tanong ko sa kanya.

“Don’t talk to strangers.”

“Levi, I’m in a fucking foreign land. Everyone here is a stranger!” inis na sabi ko habang nanghihinayang pa rin. That guy was nice! And hot!

He merely shrugged. “I’m not a stranger.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? After mo akong literal na sabihan ng ganoon tapos iwan sa hotel? And bakit ka nandito? You’re stalking me!” I accused him.

He shrugged again. Aba! Hindi man lang nagdeny!

“What are you doing?!” I asked nang magsimula siyang malakad. I hated how my feet automatically followed him.

“This is the way to The Louvre,” sabi niya habang tahimik na naglalakad. The guy… ang gulo rin niya minsan!

“Have you eaten breakfast?” tanong niya bigla.

“Di ba you’re stalking me? Bakit ’di mo alam if nagbreakfast na ba ako or what?”

“We’re here,” biglang sabi niya. Agad akong napa-tingin sa harapan ko. Oh, my god! This was the famous triangle! I wanted to ask Levi to take a picture of me—remembrance lang hindi ko naman iuupload, but nahihiya ako kasi inaway ko na naman siya.

“Come on, strike a pose,” sabi niya habang nilalabas iyong phone niya. Hindi na ako nag-inarte pa at saka umayos na ako ng post sa harap nung triangle. Pina-kita sa akin ni Levi iyong picture. In fairness… magaling talaga siyang kumuha ng picture!

After kumuha ng picture, bumili kami ng ticket. Kanya-kanya kaming nagbayad. Thankfully, wala masyadong tao roon kaya naman naka-pasok agad kami. To say that I was in awe would be an understatement! Sobrang ganda ng infrastructure! If I were an architect, baka naiyak na lang ako kasi sobrang ganda talaga rito!

“Do you know where Mona Lisa is?” tanong ko sa kanya.

“Yeah. But there are lots of other artworks aside from her,” he casually said while we’re walking. He’s right, though. Ang daming ibang magagandang art works dito, but I really wanted to see Mona Lisa.

I didn’t expect na ganito pala kalaki sa loob. If it weren’t for Levi, baka naligaw na ako!

“Coffee, you want? My treat,” sabi ko nang may makita akong Starbucks.

“No, thanks,” he replied. “Tired already?”

I nodded. “Kanina pa tayo naglalakad.”

Natawa siya sandali. “Okay. Let’s get coffee.”

Levi ordered for us. I wanted to know kung paano siya natuto magsalita ng French, but then I hesitated because that was a personal question… And hindi naman ako dense para mapansin na inis sa akin si Levi. I couldn’t blame him. Nakaka-inis naman talaga iyong mga sinabi ko sa kanya.

He’s probably just here because he’s a genuinely nice guy. ’Di siguro kaya ng konsensya niya na may Julienne Salvacion na naliligaw dito sa Paris.

“Thank you,” I said when he handed me my coffee. “I’ll treat you lunch,” dagdag ko pa dahil siya na iyong nagbayad ng coffee.

“It’s fine,” he replied, crossing his legs and quietly sipping his coffee.

Tahimik ko ring ininom iyong akin. But as I was enjoying my coffee, I couldn’t help but look at him. Siguro kung ngayon kami unang beses na magkikita, I’d throw away any inhibitions and just introduce myself to him…

Because he’s that guy.

At least to me.

He’s that kind of guy that you’d want to know kasi kung hindi? You’d end up regretting it because deep inside, you just know that he’s a great guy and there’s no harm in trying to have something great with a great guy.

And that’s exactly what I did when I first saw him.

I introduced myself.

We had a great story…

But maybe it’s just that—a great story.

“What?” he asked when he caught me staring.

I awkwardly smiled as I shook my head. “When’s your flight back?” I asked instead.

“Friday,” he replied.

“So you still have 2 days.”

“Yeah.”

“Samahan mo akong umikot?”

“Sure, why not.”

“Kasi… friends?” I asked.

“Sure,” he replied, merely nodding as he continued his cup of coffee.

After that, sinamahan ako ni Levi na hanapin si Mona Lisa. He took a picture of me. For some reason, nagawa niyang lumaki si Mona Lisa because in person, it’s just a tiny frame. Ewan ko. Baka ’di lang ako mahilig talaga sa painting.

“Do you know any place for lunch?” I asked.

“What’s your itinerary?” he asked instead.

“Why?”

“So that you can make the most out of this vacation,” he replied.

I shrugged. “Wala naman. I’m just here to relax and to do sightseeing.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “Just here in Paris?”

“No. I plan to go to Switzerland, Belgium, Germany, Italy siguro,” I replied, already feeling excited kasi dream ko talaga ’tong Europe trip, e! At least siguro medyo okay na rin na ngayon lang ako naka-punta. Meron na akong pera so ’di ko kailangang magtipid talaga.

“Jesus F. Christ,” he uttered. “That’s a lot. Did you plan? Research?” tanong niya at umiling ako. Nagresearch naman ako! Grabe siya! Tho hindi lang as in sobrang detailed kasi paano naman ako makakapagplano e busy din naman ako sa work? Plano ko talaga ay i-google dito lahat.

But the way Levi’s face was turning red in… anger? Bakit siya galit?

“What’s the plan here, Julienne?” he asked, sounding really frustrated.

“I told you—wing it.”

“Wing it,” he repeated, as if mocking me. “Like you talking to the guy earlier?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

Saglit na napa-pikit siya at napa-hugot ng malalim na hininga. “God, lady, you’re frustrating me!” sabi niya at saka inilabas iyong phone niya at saka iyong papel na nakuha namin kanina sa The Louvre.

“Do you have a pen?” he asked.

“Of course,” reply ko dahil lagi naman akong may ballpen talaga. Habit na dahil sa work.

“Did you book any ticket?” tanong niya at umiling ako. I was pretty sure I heard him curse. “Okay. I’m gonna make you an itinerary and write down where you’ll get the tickets, okay?” he asked and I nodded like an obedient child.

For almost an hour there, we sat as Levi made me an itinerary. He asked me kung saan ko gustong pumunta and when I said nothing, he’s the one who suggested places I’d visit and food I’d eat.

Mas okay sana if magkasama kami… but then kailangan niya ring bumalik sa Pinas dahil hindi naman lilipad iyong eroplano kung wala siya.

“Thanks for this,” I said when he handed me the paper full of information. It was really… touching. Ramdam ko na worried talaga siya sa akin. It’s either dahil mukha talaga akong hopeless na maliligaw dito or may feelings pa siya sa akin.

But he was very clear.

I should just respect that.

“No problem,” he replied. “If you think you’re getting lost, call me.”

“Talaga?”

“Yeah.”

“Di ka na galit sa ’kin?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not heartless—of course I’ll still help you.”

Alangan akong ngumiti. Of course this was just him being nice. It’s just… confusing. Kaya ayoko talaga nakiki-friends sa mga ganito, e. Minsan ’di mo alam saan ka lulugar. Minsan kasi mabait lang talaga sila. E malay mo ba, right?

After lunch, naglakad-lakad lang kami. Kahit maglakad lang dito, sobrang ganda na. Nakaka-relax. Maybe I’d make this at least every other year? Basta gusto ko ulit bumalik kapag pwede.

“Meron ka pa bang hindi napupuntahan?” I asked while we’re sitting on one of the benches in the middle of the bridge. Nandito iyong parang mga padlocks ng mga lovers. Huh. Kung kami pa rin siguro—never mind. ’Di naman ako naniniwala sa ganon.

“Iceland,” he said.

“Dun ’yung Northern Lights, ’di ba?” I asked and he nodded. “Bakit hindi ka pa pumupunta ’dun?”

His back was resting against the wooden bench. Naka-tingin lang siya sa river na Seine daw ang pangalan according sa tour guide ko. Ilang beses na kayang naka-punta rito si Levi? Para kasing kabisado niya na talaga lahat, e.

“I’m reserving that place for my wife,” he said, making my lips part in surprise. “Could’ve been you,” he said, looking at me, slightly grinning.

“Levi—”

But instead of letting me finish, he stood up, and looked at me. “Let’s go. I’m hungry,” he said, cocking his head to the side. Pero hindi ako naka-galaw. Nawala iyong maliit na ngiti sa labi niya. “It’s okay, Julienne. We did break up, sure, but I’m still glad that we happened.”

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 15

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY15 Chapter 15

The next day, we just went to different museums. Ang daming museums dito. And then we ate in different cafés. Levi made me try different food and desserts. Okay naman iyong macaron and crepe nila rito, but sobrang winner talaga nung croissant! Naka-kain naman na ako nun sa Pinas, pero ewan ko, iba talaga ’yung dito. Ito na ata iyong araw-araw kong kina-kain dito.

“Cap!”

Nanlaki bahagya iyong mga mata ko nang makita ko iyong si Athena—iyong flight attendant na naka-usap ko. She was with 2 different women na I assumed were flight attendants, too.

“Hey,” sagot ni Levi na naka-tayo sa tabi ko.

God, they’re beautiful. Bakit kaya nagsettle si Levi—before—sa gaya ko? When he’s surrounded by these gorgeous women all the time?

Talaga, Yanyan? Sa Paris ka pa nagself-pity?

Imbes na sumagot ay napa-tingin sa akin si Athena. Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya na para bang inaalala kung saan niya ako nakita. I just awkwardly smiled at her hanggang sa manlaki ang mga mata niya nang maalala kung saan kami nagkita.

“Ikaw ’yung nasa flight, right?” she asked.

“Yup,” I just said.

“Wait… You were in the flight?” Levi asked, looking at me with confusion painted on his face.

“Magka-kilala kayo, Cap?” Athena asked.

“You were in the flight?” Levi asked again, still looking at me and waiting for confirmation. I just simply nodded. “You knew I was there?” he asked again.

“Yup,” I replied. “Narinig ko sa announcement iyong pangalan mo.”

I omitted the fact that my panties got in a twist when I heard the frigging announcement— Captain Leandro Aurelious Mejia. Ang hot, leche!

“And you didn’t tell me.”

“Duh, nasa cockpit ka.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Bakit ka ba galit?” I asked pero natigilan ako nang mapansin ko na may audience pala kaming dalawa. I looked at the 3 gorgeous women in front of us and smiled. Mukhang napansin din ni Levi kaya tumigil siya.

“Sorry about that,” he said to them.

“No worries, Cap,” sagot nung isang babae habang naka-tingin sila sa akin. Siguro iniisip na nila na ako iyong jowa ng Captain nila tutal may chismis naman daw na may jowa na si Levi kaya ’di na nagma-milehigh club.

“Uh… una na po kami,” sabi ni Athena na parang kanina pa gustong umalis. Baka nahihiya dahil nagsabi pa naman siya sa akin na type niya si Levi tapos biglang ako pala iyong babae. Kung ako man siya, mahihiya din ako, e. But I don’t judge naman. Gets ko naman siya. Unang kita ko pa lang kay Levi dati gusto ko ng sunggaban, e.

Mabilis na umalis iyong 3 babae. Naka-tingin ako sa kanila habang papaalis sila dahil ang cute ng outfits nila. Parang gusto ko rin tuloy mag-outfit kahit once! Kasi laging thermal pants and thermal long sleeves, and the same black winter coat lang ang suot ko. E itong si Levi akala mo laging rarampa sa Winter Catalogue fashion show sa mga outfit, e. Ngayon naka-suot siya ng black pants, black turtle neck, pati black long coat, tapos white sneakers.

He’s so hot.

Ridiculously hot.

“San makaka-bili ng coat dito?” I asked.

“What?” tanong niya na kunot noo na naman.

“Iyong gaya nung suot nila,” I replied. “Gusto ko rin nun.”

“What?” tanong niya ulit.

“Ang ganda nila,” I said. “Ngayon, nagdududa na ako sa taste mo,” I continued tapos naglakad ako. Sinabayan niya ako. “How can you propose to me kung may ganoon ka kagagandang ka-trabaho? Siguro kaya hindi mo sila sinama nung party dahil ayaw mong ma-insecure ako, no?”

Patuloy lang ako sa paglalakad, pero napa-hinto ako nang mapansin ko na mag-isa na lang pala akong naglalakad. I turned around and saw Levi standing a couple of feet away from me. Mabilis akong naglakad pabalik sa kanya.

“What?”

“Are you seriously being insecure now?” he asked.

Natawa ako. “Grabe. What’s wrong with appreciating other women’s beauty? Maganda naman talaga sila,” I said. ’Di naman ako bulag, no. Kapag maganda, maganda. Kung masama ang ugali, e ’di masama ang ugali, but that wouldn’t change the fact na physically speaking, maganda talaga.

“I didn’t bring them to the party because they’re not my friends,” he said, instead. “I work with them, that’s it.”

“Okay?” I replied, confused dahil parang inaaway niya ako.

“And what’s wrong with how you look?” sabi niya ulit. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you.”

“Whoa. What the hell is happening?”

“You’re literally the most forward and confident person I know. So, you tell me what’s happening right now?”

I blinked in confusion. “What? Sinabi ko lang naman na maganda sila.”

“You also said that you can’t believe I proposed to you. God, before it’s about my lola. Now, it’s about them. Can’t I just propose because I’m fucking in love with you?” he asked, his ears slightly red from anger?

Pero bago pa man ako maka-sagot sa kanya ay naglakad at nilagpasan ako ni Levi. Parang tanga! Magagalit tapos magwawalkout! Move ko ’yun!

It took me a few seconds bago naka-galaw. I ran para maabutan siya. Pero kahit na naabutan ko siya ay nahihirapan pa rin ako dahil ang bilis niyang maglakad and unfair naman dahil mas malaki naman ang hakbang niya sa akin!

“Are you mad?”

“No.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Then yes.”

Napa-irap ako.

“At bakit ka galit?”

“Because apparently, there’s a million reason for me proposing other than just me, being in love.”

“Do you really love me?” tanong ko. Agad siyang napa-hinto. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Shet. Mali na naman ata ang sinabi ko! “I mean… sure, you say you love me… pero bakit?”

It was weird.

We were in front of the Notre Dame. It was recently destroyed by the fire, but it was being rebuilt… Weird. Parang kami ni Levi. We were recently destroyed…

But were we being rebuilt?

O mas pinapa-lala ko lang sa mga sinasabi ko?

“Julienne, you’re not hard to love—in fact, it’s very easy to love you.”

I looked at him.

And I felt the stinging in my eyes.

“And you’re beautiful, okay? Don’t you look at the mirror?”

Pinahid ko iyong luha ko. “Minsan lang. Busy ako sa trabaho.”

He laughed and tousled my hair. “Know what? You look most beautiful when you’re wearing your coat. And my favorite image of you was when I saw you straddling that one patient—”

“Grabe naman sa straddling!

“Well, you were sitting over him.”

“I was performing CPR!”

“I know. And that was awesome,” he said, then cupping my face. “You’re awesome.”

Hindi ko mapigilang mapa-ngiti.

“So, stop second guessing yourself, okay? You’re beautiful and smart and though sometimes incredibly frustrating, but that’s just part of your charm, believe me.”

I felt my heart beating wildly inside my chest.

I just wanted to…

Maybe beg.

Na kami na lang ulit.

“You will make some guy feel extremely blessed to have you,” he said, smiling and then he pinched my nose. “Let’s go eat. I’m famished,” he continued before he began walking.

My smile fell.

But then this was my doing.

I should just suck it up.

---

We ended up eating in some fancy restaurant. I paid for it—I insisted dahil instead na nagpapahinga siya, sinamahan niya ako buong araw.

We talked about other things.

I didn’t want to ponder about us— or the lack thereof.

Baka nga kasi hanggang dito lang talaga.

Maybe before there was a chance… but that was gone already.

Maybe I could’ve been his… but I ruined it already.

I just needed to do the mature thing and move forward.

“I’m freaking tired,” I said while we’re walking home. Kanina ay busog pa ako sa kinain namin, pero ngayon ay parang na-digest ko na lahat nun dahil sa sobrang pagod.

“You wanna take a cab?” he asked.

Umiling ako. Pagod na ako, sure, but I was enjoying this walk with him. Kasi baka this was as good as I was gonna get with him. Mukhang ayaw niya na rin kasi talaga. Napagod na ata. Nung una ay na-badtrip ako dahil bakit naman na-timing-an ko na may strike dito sa Paris? Ayan tuloy, naglalakad lang kami ni Levi palagi. If may bus naman, pahirapan maghintay.

“You sure?” he asked again.

“Yeah,” I replied. But can we sit for a while?“

Naupo kami ni Levi doon sa mga concrete bench sa harap ng Seine River. Ang ganda-ganda talaga rito. Everything in Paris looked like a scene straight from the movies. Ultimo daan lang at buildings, sobrang ganda na. Baka ma-disappoint ako pagbalik ko sa Pilipinas dahil sobrang tumaas ata ang standards ko rito.

“Do you have any idea where you wanna go tomorrow?” he asked habang naka-tingin kaming pareho sa dumadaan na ferry sa harap namin. There were people in bikes. Parang ang sarap i-try.

“Sure ka bang wala kang pupuntahan bukas?”

“Why?”

“I don’t wanna impose.”

And the more time I spend with him, mas nanghihinayang lang ako.

He arched his brow. “Really now?”

I nodded. “Syempre, nakaka-hiya.”

“You know I’m not a doctor, but you’re like… 2 different persons,” he said. “Sometimes you’re… this person. Other times, you’re so crass and vulgar and shocking,” he continued, now looking at me directly with his forehead creased. “Have you tried going to a doctor for that?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Are you trying to diagnose me?”

“What? No. I’m just seriously confused and bewildered. It’s hard to know which one I’m with,” he said in a defensive stance. “But you know? Never mind.”

Hindi agad ako nagsalita.

Hindi ko alam kung sasabihin ko ba—o kung dapat ko pa bang sabihin kasi tapos naman na kami.

But Levi’s been really nice to me…

Maybe he deserved at least some honesty.

To know why I felt like I was hard to love.

“Let’s go,” he said, standing up.

“Wait lang,” sabi ko bago pa man siya maka-tayo.

“What?” he asked, his forehead creased.

I tapped the space he left. “I have a confession,” I said.

“Okay…” sabi niya habang bahagya pa ring naka-kunot ang noo habang naka-tingin sa akin. He sat down and looked at me. “What confession? Is it of your undying love?”

I rolled my eyes. Natawa siya. “When I first met you, remember that?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. Niana’s birthday.”

Tumango rin ako. “I just got dumped that night,” I said. His lips parted first, but he was quick to remove that look of pity on his face. Ngumiti na lang ako. Ayoko talaga ng kina-aawaan. “I mean, I don’t know if the term dump is right kasi like 1 month pa lang naman kaming nagde-date,” paliwanag ko. “But that’s not the point. The point is, I’ve been doing this for a while, and I always get the same reason—that I’m too loud, too honest, just too much for all the guys I dated.”

“Julienne—”

Umiling ako. “Let me finish first. Please?” He sighed and nodded. “Thank you,” I replied with a smile. I just needed to tell him this kasi ayoko naman na isipin niya na bipolar ako o may split personality ako.

Maybe I lied.

But there’s a reason.

Kagaya nung sa kanya.

I got mad at him…

Hindi ko lang alam kung ano ang magiging reaksyon niya.

“So, when I met you that night, I immediately found you attractive. I mean, look at you,” sabi ko, but there was no hint of amusement on his face. He just looked serious. Bahagyang salubong ang kilay niya na para bang seryoso siyang nakikinig sa bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko.

Huminga akong muli nang malalim.

“You know what happened that night—you were there,” I continued. “It’s not like I lied or anything. I just… toned down who I really am,” I explained. “I was just afraid that like the other guys, you’d run the opposite direction because…” I smiled as I took a really deep breath. “I’m just too much.”

Nagbaling ako ng tingin.

Nagpahid ng luha.

Bakit ba ako naiiyak?!

“So… I’m sorry. I’m sorry if how I act now confuses you. I’m sorry if I got mad at you for something that I probably did, too. I just realized what a hypocrite I am dahil nagalit ako sa bagay na ginawa ko rin pala. I sincerely apologize, Levi.”

Ni hindi ko magawang tumingin sa kanya. I was just afraid that he’d get mad at me the way I got mad at him. And I wouldn’t blame him kasi alam ko iyong pakiramdam na pinagsinungalingan. It just sucked.

Seconds passed.

Then it turned into minutes.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago tumayo.

“I understand if hindi mo na ako sasamahan bukas,” I said, looking at him and smiling. “I just thought you deserved some honesty from me…” And I took few steps away from him. “We were something great, don’t you think?” I asked before I turned around and began walking away. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 16

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#MY16 Chapter 16

Maybe it was stupid of me to expect na hahabulin ako ni Levi.

Maybe it was delusional of me to think that he’d say it was okay.

Too much expectation…

As much as I wanted to allow myself to ponder and wallow on the what ifs, I just wasn’t built like that. I’d allow myself to feel sad for a few hours, but that’s it. Tuloy pa rin ang buhay. My life doesn’t revolve around love—I have my family, friends, and career behind me.

I’d feel sad.

Devastated, even.

But then I’d have to pick myself up.

Dahil kung hindi ako, sino ang gagawa?

Siguro delikado, but I got out of the hotel bago pa man sumikat ang araw. I just walked and walked hanggang sa maka-rating ako sa harap ng Eiffel tower. I sat there and waited for the sun to rise.

It sucked right now—felt a little dark.

But like the sun, things would shine again.

I just have to wait until I get better.

After a while, I went to a café and ate breakfast. It was such a nice meal—would’ve been better kung nandito si Levi to recommend food to me. I always like his recommendation.

Then I rode on the Seine river cruise… which was probably a bad idea because the ride felt a little bit romantic. I just got bummed out even more.

After that, I just walked around Paris, kumain sa mga random na café and resto. I also went Shakespeare and Company bookstore. Hindi ako masyadong fan ng pagbabasa, but I still bought 2 books. Baka ma-bore ako. At least may mababasa ako. Or if not, ibibigay ko na lang sa iba pag-uwi ko sa Pilipinas.

It was only 8pm when I decided to head back to the hotel. Isang linggo naman iyong stay ko rito sa Paris. Pwede pa ulit akong umikot. Ayoko kasi nung hindi ko masusulit kaya as much as possible, 1 week per place ang gusto ko so that I could really immerse in the place.

“L-Levi,” I said when suddenly, he’s standing right before me. He looked… worried. And pissed. But more worried.

“Where the hell have you been?!” mataas ang boses na tanong niya. “I was worried sick!”

I blinked in surprise and confusion. “What? I was just out—”

“I’ve been calling and texting!”

I got the phone from my bag and saw nothing. Pina-kita ko sa kanya iyong phone ko. “Sorry. Naka-airplane mode,” I replied. “Bakit ka nga pala nandito?”

Kung tama ang pagkaka-tanda ko, bukas na iyong flight niya pabalik sa Pilipinas. Tama lang din siguro na ’di na kami magkasama ngayon. This was a preview. It kinda sucked, but what could I do? It’s not as if pwede kong ipilit at isiksik ang sarili ko sa kanya.

“We’re supposed to go to Belgium today,” sabi niya na parang galit pa siya. My lips parted in recognition. Right. That was the plan na sinabi niya nung dinner kasi daw, malapit lang ang Belgium dito sa Paris and pwedeng gawing daytrip.

“I forgot. Sorry.”

Gusto kong tanungin kung ibig sabihin ba nun na nandito na siya simula kaninang umaga, but that would just open lots of confusing doors. I didn’t want to torture myself some more. Sobrang dramatic ko na nga kanina sa cruise. Kulang na lang magpatugtog ako ng All By Myself habang mag-isa akong naka-upo roon.

I fixed a smile on my face. “Flight mo na pabalik bukas, ’di ba?” I asked. He nodded begrudgingly. “Uh… good night na. Napagod ako sa paglalakad buong araw.”

Mabilis akong tumalikod sa kanya at saka dumiretso sa elevator. I just needed to walk—to keep on walking away. It’s hard now, but I was sure that I’d get better at this.

Mahirap naman lahat sa umpisa.

Masasanay din ako.

I pressed the elevator button. Repeatedly. Gusto ko na siyang bumukas. I felt Levi’s stares from across the floor. I just wanted to get in the elevator, lie in the bed, and just sleep this night away.

Then it opened.

And I got in.

But even before it could close, parang nahigit ko ang hininga ko nang bigla siyang pumasok. I pressed my lips together as I forced myself to smile at him. Kasi ano ba naman ang pwede kong gawin kung hindi ang ngumiti sa kanya? He’s done nothing wrong—sa aming dalawa, ako iyong puro may mali.

I didn’t have the higher ground here.

I realized that now.

“Do you… need anything?” I asked as he was staring directly into my eyes.

“I wanna talk,” he said.

“We’re talking already.”

I saw him letting out a deep breath. Kaso bumukas na agad iyong elevator. Lumabas ako. “Can we talk in your room?” he asked.

I laughed. Ang fake. “Sure… pero talk lang, okay?”

Because I seriously couldn’t kiss him anymore.

I couldn’t sleep with him anymore.

I just needed to draw the fucking line.

He’s now a forbidden fruit and if I didn’t want to get poisoned, I should know damn well to stop trying to have a taste.

Seryosong tumango si Levi. Tumango rin ako. We walked towards my room. Pagpasok roon, inayos ko iyong gamit ko. My luggage was still open. Ang gulo. Hassle naman.

“Uh… if you want food, may room service naman,” I told him. Kinuha ko iyong menu at iaabot sana sa kanya nang matigilan na naman ako dahil pagharap ko ay saktong naka-tayo siya sa harapan ko.

He looked so serious.

“You’re too much.”

Umawang ang labi ko.

Tears quickly began to pool around my eyes.

Fuck it.

Fuck all those guys who told me that I was too much.

At first, I didn’t believe it… They’re just guys. And their fucking humungous ego. Pero paano kung lahat sila nagsabi? They all said that I was too much that I started to believe it.

Mabilis akong tumalikod at pinahiran iyong luha ko. “I know. You don’t have to remind me,” sabi ko sa kanya. Muli akong huminga nang malalim. “Whatever you want to say, trust me, narinig ko na ’yan sa kanila.”

It’s just so… hard.

And sad.

That you get into relationship with someone, hoping that that someone would fill the void and make you feel whole…

But in the end, they all get pieces of you.

No matter how small, they’d still get a piece.

And then you’ll never feel whole again.

“Just please…” Napa-hinto ako at huminga nang malalim. “Don’t add salt to the wound, Levi… Those things I could take from them… Pero kapag galing sa ’yo?” I wiped the tears that flew from my eyes. God, I hated crying! “Please. Don’t.”

“You’re too—”

“Oo na nga! Tangina naman!” sigaw ko sa kanya habang inaayos iyong bag ko at inilalagay iyong mga gamit ko roon. Maybe I’d just scrap the fucking itinerary and just go to Switzerland tomorrow. I just needed a change of scenery dahil sa gusto ko man o sa hindi, Paris now meant Levi.

And Levi’s causing pain in my chest.

“Julienne, you’re too much, but there’s nothing wrong with being too much,” he said, standing before me as I sat on the ground, trying to get all my things inside the bag.

Para siguro akong bata.

Na naka-salampak sa sahig.

Habang umiiyak.

Mukhang tanga.

Levi crouched down in front of me. “It’s who you are; and there’s nothing wrong with who you are. All those guys who told you you’re too much? They just said that because they couldn’t handle you. And that’s their problem—never yours.”

Ni hindi ako makapagsalita.

And the stupid tears just kept on flowing.

“So what if you’re too honest? Would they rather be in a relationship where they can’t be honest?” he asked. Hindi ako tumigil sa paglalagay ng mga damit ko sa bag. Levi sat beside me and helped me pack. Tinitiklop niya nang maayos iyong mga damit ko. “It’d be suffocating if you can’t be honest with your partner, don’t you think?”

Hindi ako nagsalita.

Patuloy lang sa pag-aayos ng gamit ko.

“What did they say again?” he asked. Hindi ako sumagot. “Did they say you’re too horny?”

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Hinagis ko iyong thong ko sa mukha niya. Tumawa siya.

“There she is,” he said, bumping his shoulder against mine. Gago ’to! Nilagay iyong thong ko sa bulsa niya—ni hindi man lang nagpaalam!

“I’m not too horny.”

“South Korea begs to disagree.”

“Shut up.”

“But seriously,” he said, looking at me directly. “You’re Julienne Salvacion—both beautiful and smart. Do you know only few people manage to be both beautiful and smart?”

I rolled my eyes. “Bola.”

He laughed. “No, I’m serious. You’re beautiful and smart. You have a great career. You have awesome friends. You have a nice family—”

Agad akong napa-tingin sa kanya. “Family?”

“Yeah. Talked to your parents.”

Umawang ang labi ko. “What?!”

“Long story—”

“Well, I have time!”

Tumawa siyang muli. “Well, apparently, they heard about me and they wanted to meet me. They contacted Marcus and Marcus told me about that so I said yes. We had lunch. Your parents are wonderful.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. “Seriously?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“When was this?!”

“2 months ago, I think?”

“We were broken up that time—” Napa-tigil ako dahil break pa rin naman kami.

“I know. But they asked to meet with me. I couldn’t say no. I love old people,” he said, shrugging. “Don’t worry—they didn’t even talk about you. They just asked things about me.”

Napa-takip ako ng mukha. God! Nakaka-loka naman sila Mama! Ano kaya ang trip nila?! Bored na bored na ata sila sa buhay nila kaya ako naman ang pinapakielamanan!

“Sorry. Nakaka-hiya.”

“It’s okay. They’re nice.”

“Inabala ka pa nila. Sasakalin ko talaga ’yang si Marcus!”

Tumawa si Levi. “I think it was Niles who told your parents.”

I groaned. “Leche talaga ’yung mag-asawa na ’yun!”

“They mean well.”

Hindi na ako sumagot. Sasaksakin ko talaga ng epidural ’yang si Niles pagbalik ko sa Pinas.

Walang nagsasalita sa amin ng ilang minuto. Natapos na rin ako sa pag-eempake ng gamit ko. Ramdam ko na naka-tingin lang sa akin si Levi na para bang hinihintay niya na magsalita ako.

“Ano’ng oras iyong flight mo?” tanong ko sa kanya.

“I need to be there by 4am,” he replied.

I got my phone and checked for flights to Switzerland. There was 1 available ng 6am. I booked it.

“Pwedeng sumabay?” tanong ko sa kanya.

“Sure…”

I smiled. “Hindi ka pa ba babalik sa hotel para mag-ayos ng gamit mo?” tanong ko sa kanya.

“Do you want me to go?” tanong niya na parang sinusubukang alamin kung ano ang mood ko.

I shrugged. “Gusto mo na bang umalis?”

“No,” he said. “Not if you’re not okay.”

“Bakit naman hindi ako magiging okay?”

“Because yesterday,” he said, pausing. “You looked so vulnerable, Julienne. And I knew I should’ve chased after you—”

“It’s okay,” I said, cutting him off. “Nothing you say could’ve made me feel better.”

“Dra. Julienne Salvacion, why do you allow all those guys to make you feel small? You’re you. There’s nothing wrong with you. You have to understand that.”

I smiled. “I know that. I just don’t… feel that.”

Akala ko magsasalita siya.

Akala ko sasabihin niya na worthy ako.

Narinig ko naman na ’yan kay Niles dati pa.

Pero iba iyong naririnig ko sa nararamdaman ko.

“Give me names—I need to have a talk with those guys,” he said as he enveloped me inside his arms. “They have to understand that their words meant something. And it’s such a shame that those were enough to make you question yourself. I’m sorry, Julienne. You don’t deserve them.”

Para na lang talaga akong bata na umiyak habang yakap-yakap ako ni Levi. He kept on telling me that I’m worth it. That I’m enough. That it’s not my fault that they thought I was too much.

That for the right person, I’m enough.

“Julienne…” I hazily opened my eyes. “I’m sorry to wake you up, but we need to leave.”

I nodded as I tried to wipe my eyes. My eyes felt sore from all the crying. My body felt sore from sleeping while I was still in Levi’s arm.

Maybe this was a good way to go.

I took a quick bath tapos ay pumunta kami sa hotel ni Levi para kuhanin ang gamit niya. He was asked kung sasabay siya sa service, but when he looked at me, sinabi niya sa kanila na sa iba siya sasabay. Baka ayaw niya lang akong isama because my eyes looked bloodshot.

“Switzerland, huh?” he asked while we’re in a cab.

“Yup. I’ll get myself hot chocolate while staring at the alps.”

“Do you know where you’ll stay?”

“Wala pa nga, e. I’ll just book kapag nasa airport na ako,” sabi ko sa kanya. Wala naman kasi talaga ’to sa plano. But I really wanted to get out of Paris.

But I didn’t want to discuss what happened last night. So while we’re in the cab, tumingin kami ni Levi ng mga pwede kong tuluyan sa airbnb. Ang daming magandang choices! But after a while, I settled on a nice apartment in Bürglen. It’s next to a lake and a mountain. I needed that to relax. I still wanted to enjoy the rest of the trip.

Pagdating namin sa airport, we were standing in the middle, just staring at each other like fools.

“So… this is it,” I said, forcing a smile.

“This is it?” he asked.

I nodded. “Thank you for this trip, Levi. I really appreciate everything—from being my tour guide to making sure that I’m okay. I appreciate everything…”

Huminga ako ng malalim.

I didn’t want to cry.

But fuck, these tears!

“But we have to stop meeting like this,” I said, wiping the tears that just kept on falling. “I have to stop seeing you kasi alam mo ’yun? Ang hassle.” I forced a laugh. “So, if it’s okay, pagbalik ko sa Manila, if you see me, can you please walk the opposite direction? Because I’ll do the same. Para maka-move on ako agad.”

“Julienne—”

Umiling ako. “Please? I need your help because it’s hard to move on from you… Because you’re so great… And looking at you is torture because you’re a reminder of something great that I lost because of stupid decisions.”

Huminga ako nang malalim.

At humakbang paatras.

“So… we have to stop meeting like this, Levi,” I repeated, wiping the tears from my eyes. “It’s been one hell of a trip, Captain. But I’m afraid this is where the flight ends,” I continued as I turned my back on him and walked away… only this time, it’s for good. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 17

Please follow @beeyotchupdated on twitter for real time tweet if any story got updated. Thank you.

#MY17 Chapter 17

Granted na naligaw ako at masakit ang buong katawan ko at mahapdi din ang mga mata ko sa pag-iyak ko kagabi, but upon seeing the view of the apartment that I’d be staying in, parang nabawasan ng kaunti iyong dinadala ko.

“Enjoy your stay,” sabi sa akin nung mabait na lalaki na nag-assist sa akin via message habang naliligaw ako kung paano makaka-rating dito.

After making sure that the doors were locked, I stripped all of my clothes and plopped myself on top of the bed. I knew I should take a bath dahil pakiramdam ko ang dumi-dumi ko na sa layo ng byahe ko, but I felt really tired.

“What…” I said when my phone kept on vibrating at nakita ko na si Niles iyong tumatawag.

“Nasaan—” sabi niya at napa-tigil. “Naka-hubad ka ba?!”

“Duh,” I said. “But hindi ko naman ipapa-kita sa ’yo, asa ka pa,” I continued as I rolled over para iyong mukha ko lang iyong kita ni Niles. “What’s up?”

“Ano’ng what’s up ka d’yan? I called your hotel tapos sabi nag-early checkout ka raw.”

“Yup.”

“So, nasaan ka ngayon?”

“Switzerland,” I said. “I need a change of scenery.”

“Baliw ka talaga. Sayang bayad mo. May 4 days ka pa ’dun.”

“Bayaan mo na,” sabi ko kahit syempre nanghihinayang din ako. But it’s either that o magstay nga ako roon pero magmumukmok lang ako. “Ang ganda naman dito. Worth it na rin.”

Napa-irap si Niles. Dati naman ’di siya sobrang kuripot—nahawa na ata sa asawa niya na hari ata ng pagiging kuripot. Akala mo walang pera, e. Kahit itaktak mo ata ’yung si Marcus ’di maglalabas ng pera kapag feeling niya hindi essential.

“Bakit nandyan ka bigla?”

I rolled my eyes. “Kunwari ka pa.”

“Kunwari?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“Kaya siguro pina-upgrade ako nila Mama dahil alam nila na si Levi iyong captain nung flight ko—”

“What?!” she asked, cutting me off. “Si Levi iyong captain?! Nagkita ba kayo?!”

I turned the camera off and then looked for a bathrobe tapos ay sinuot ko iyon. I sat on the chair outside the porch. Sinandal ko iyong phone para hindi ko na siya hawakan, at saka para makita ni Niles iyong view. Ang ganda dito. Grabe. Parang ang sarap magretire dito.

“Yup.”

“And… kasama mo siya sa Paris?”

“Pauwi na siya d’yan.”

“Kaya ka nandyan bigla sa Switzerland?” I just shrugged. “Nag-away na naman kayo?”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Hindi kami bata, okay? Nag-usap kami—hindi nag-away.”

“So? Kahit nag-usap na kayo, hindi pa rin kayo okay?”

I shrugged again. “Can we drop the topic na? I just want to enjoy this vacation, Niles. Pagbalik ko sa Pinas, sige tanungin mo ako all you want,” I said, smiling sadly. “I feel really bummed out about Levi. I’ll still feel bummed out about it pagbalik ko sa Manila. So, can I please have the remaining 3 weeks to at least try to pretend that I’m enjoying this trip?”

Niles nodded and smiled. “Okay…”

“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll give you a tour dito sa apartment. Ang ganda dito! Punta kayo ni Marcus. Sobrang ganda. Baka dito mabuo ang pangatlong inaanak ko.”

Umirap si Niles. “Hindi pwede na inaanak mo silang lahat.”

“Basta inaanak ko sila.”

“Ewan ko sa ’yo,” she said, sounding exasperated kaya tinawanan ko na lang. Malaki iyong apartment. Pwede rin akong maglaba and magluto rito. Sabi nung may-ari, may supermarket daw na malapit dito. Siguro lalabas ako mamaya bago magdinner para bumili ng kakainin. Hindi naman ako magaling magluto talaga, so maybe bibili ako ng mga instant lang.

After I gave Niles a tour of the place, nagpaalam na ako kasi mukhang inaantok na si buntis. I just told her that bibilhan ko siya ng chocolate dito kahit sabi niya na ’wag na raw kasi baka mahirapan ako. I just ignored her. She’s family, so ano naman if mabigatan ako? It’s not as if isang kilo ng chocolate ang iuuwi ko.

Nagpahinga ako for a while and then naligo. Then I went out to get myself some food. I made dinner for myself and then went out on the porch and read the book that I bought from Shakespeare and Company while enjoying a cup of hot chocolate.

The next day, I went outside and just walked around and ate some local delicacies. Sobrang ganda. Ang ganda talaga. It’s like when God made this place, He exerted extra effort dahil nakaka-wow iyong nature.

Definitely worth it ’yung pagkaka-ligaw ko kahapon.

Then I signed up to go skiing. Which was probably a mistake dahil wala naman akong gear or anything and hindi ako marunong magskii! But whatever. For the experience. Saka sabi naman sa site, hindi naman masyadong mahirap iyong trail. For beginner lang naman daw.

I prepared a backpack na nandoon iyong mga essentials ko. I wore my winter jacket and just hoped for the freaking best. Sabi naman ’dun may rental place daw! If wala, bahala na si Lord. May maaawa naman siguro sa akin kapag nanigas ako sa lamig doon.

After triple checking na dala ko na iyong phone ko, powerbank, papel kung saan naka-sulat iyong address na ’to kung sakaling mamatayan ako ng phone and mga emergency number, lumabas na ako sa pinto.

Then I walked towards the bus station because I needed to ride one papunta sa meeting place. So, I stood there, waiting for the bus to arrive. It should arrive on time kasi may schedule ang buses dito. Nakaka-sana all talaga dito. Ewan ko ba sa Pilipinas, napag-iwanan na ng mundo.

I picked my bag up nang makita kong paparating na iyong bus. I went on the spot where the door would open. Then I stepped inside when the bus stopped and the door opened.

But before I could even get it—

“Julienne.”

I felt like my entire body froze upon hearing that familiar voice.

Pero hindi ako naka-tingin.

Baka kasi delusional na ako dahil sa sobrang lamig dito.

“Yanyan.”

Naka-tingin sa akin iyong driver na para bang nag-iintay kung papasok ba ako o hindi.

“Es tut uns leid,” I said to the driver bago humakbang palabas at hinanap kung saan nanggaling iyong boses na tumawag sa pangalan ko.

My lips parted and my heart began to race inside my chest.

“What… are you doing here?” I asked as I stared at him standing right before me. He was holding a small bag. And there were dark circles around his eyes.

“I need to return something,” he said.

“Talagang dito?”

He nodded. “It’s essential.”

“Ano ba ’yan?” I asked, my forehead creased with awe kung bakit nandito siya. I just saw him the other day! Pabalik siya ng Pinas!

“Here,” he said, handing me a black thing. Curiously, tinignan ko kung ano iyong at nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita ko na iyon iyong thong ko na hinagis ko sa mukha niya na nilagay niya sa bulsa niya. “Told you, it’s essential. Wouldn’t want you walking around without your panties on.”

Hindi ko alam kung ihahagis ko ba ’to ulit sa mukha niya o mamumula sa sinabi niya o magtatanong ulit kung bakit nandito siya.

“What are you doing here, Levi?” I asked.

He smiled a little. “Can I crash at your place? I want to sleep, Yanyan.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Yanyan?”

He nodded. “That’s your nickname, right? How you preferred to be called?”

Kunot pa rin ang noo ko. “What’s happening?”

“Can you let me rest first? I’ll answer all your questions later. I just really need to sleep,” he said. Gusto ko pa sana siyang tanungin dahil marami akong tanong na kailangan ng sagot, but Levi looked really tired. “Is there somewhere you need to be?” tanong niya habang naka-tingin sa bag ko.

I shook my head. “Let’s go,” I said, leading the way back to the apartment. “How did you even know na nandito ako?”

“I was with you when you booked this place,” he replied.

“Right…” I said in realization. “Nag-awol ka ba sa trabaho?”

“What?”

“Kasi ’di ba may flight ka pabalik sa Manila?”

“Yeah.”

“And… nandito ka,” I said, confused.

“I love my job, so I had to go back to Manila. But then right after, I hopped in the earliest flight back to Paris then took train to Bürglen,” paliwanag niya. “Do you have food?”

I blinked.

What…the hell?

“Why?” I asked when we stopped in front of the apartment.

“Why?” he asked, his forehead creased.

“Why would you do that?” tanong ko sa kanya. “Why would you go through all that, Levi?”

He traveled for what? 2 days? 3 days? Para maka-punta rito? For what?

“Because I want to see you,” he said.

“Why?”

“Because I can’t wait for 3 more weeks to see you.”

My lips parted.

I… didn’t have words.

“You know all those guys you dated? They said they hate how what? How honest you are? Well for me, I hate how you never let me finish talking,” he said.

Kumunot na ang noo ko.

“Stop saying goodbye and stop walking away,” he said, taking a step towards me. “Just please stay right where you are and I’ll keep on going to you, okay? I don’t care if you’re too much for them—to me you’re just enough.”

Levi cupped my face.

And he smiled so warmly at me.

“I don’t care if you’re Julienne or Yanyan—believe me, I love both the sane and insane version of you,” he said, caressing my cheek and fondly looking at me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make this clear the first chance I got… but I wanted to make sure first that you understand that there’s nothing wrong with you. That was my priority. I didn’t get the chance to explain how I feel.”

My lips started to quiver.

He smiled and enveloped me inside his arms.

“I really love you, Yanyan,” he said. “If you ask me why, I wouldn’t be able to explain myself fully because honestly, I can’t find the right words… But all I know is that whenever I think about the future, it’s you who I always see with me. Always you. Just you.”

Then my shoulders began to tremble.

“Sabi mo ayaw mo na…”

I felt him laugh. “That was a lie. You know? To protect my manly ego.”

I punched him in the gut. “Ass.”

“Why? You thought I was serious?”

“Duh?”

“Julienne, I’m generally a nice guy, but I don’t spend my free day touring people around Paris,” he said like he’s confused kung bakit naniwala ako na naka-move on na siya sa akin.

“Well, I thought that was you being nice!”

“Sure. But if I were just nice, I’d accompany you to some bus that gives tour,” he stated. “I won’t go out of my way to do a walking tour in Paris.”

I rolled my eyes. “Akala ko pa naman mabait ka lang talaga.”

He laughed. “I am nice,” he said. “And I did try to move on… I went on dates, but they’re all boring,” he said, tightening his hug. “Their stories bore me. I like your stories more. I like it a lot when you tell me stories about your work. I like those stories—your kind of stories is the kind I’m willing to listen to for the rest of my life.”

I bit my lower lip as I smiled against his chest.

“I still have more of those stories…” I said.

“Do you mind telling me?” I nodded against his chest. “Thank you,” he said.

I broke the hug and looked at him and smiled. “I love you, Levi,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing his lips down on mine. 

---

This story is already finished on Patreon x

Chapter 18

#MY18 Chapter 18

“I don’t wanna leave…” I said as Levi was packing our things. Last day na namin sa Switzerland. After niyang matulog sa apartment sa Bürglen, lumipat kami sa Grindelwald because Levi wanted me to experience going to Jungfrau aka the famous Swiss Alps.

And boy, he was right! I really enjoyed the excursion! Given na ilang beses akong nadapa and akala ko matatanggal na iyong ilong ko sa sobrang lamig, the experience was insane!

Ito na yata ang favorite place on earth ko.

“Come on, we have a train to catch,” he said.

“Can we ditch Milan na lang? Dito na lang tayo, please.”

He laughed. “No, we can’t. If you want, we can just return here.”

“When? Wala na akong bakasyon, Levi. Naubos ko na,” reklamo ko kasi sa totoo lang, wala na akong leave na natitira yata talaga! Nasagad na this year! Kaloka!

“Next year then,” he replied, but that just made me groan.

God, traveling is addicting.

Masama dahil nasimulan ko na.

Levi had to physically get me out of the bed because I really refused to vacate our nice little cabin here in Grindelwald. Sobrang ganda kasi rito. Sobrang magical. Plus kasama ko pa si Levi and that really made everything like a thousand times better.

“Are you really pouting?” Levi asked, amused, while looking at me. Nasa train kami ngayon papuntang Milan. Levi was in charge of booking everything. Sobrang naging madali nung bumalik na siya because I didn’t have to worry anymore about getting lost.

“Milan better not suck,” I said.

He laughed. “It won’t,” he replied. “The next time we go here, let’s go to the other side. I think you’ll love Amsterdam. Then we can head to Norway, Sweden, and Finland.”

“Fine…”

I lead my head against Levi’s arm and took a nap. Wala akong masyadong tulog because he wouldn’t let me sleep! Kapal ng mukha niyang sabihin na ako iyong too horny e siya nga ’tong ayaw akong lubayan. Alam niya namang pagod na nga ako sa pag-iikot tapos ’di pa ako papatulugin sa gabi?

When I opened my eyes, I saw Levi reading the book that I bought. He looked so serious while reading. His forehead was slightly creased and mukhang iniintindi niya talaga iyong binabasa niya. Ako ’di ko na maintindihan kaya sinukuan ko na, e. Siya ’tong laging tina-try basahin iyong libro.

“Malayo pa ba?” I asked while my head was still resting against his shoulder.

“We’re near already. I’ll wake you up when we arrive,” he said, gently tapping my head na para bang bata ako. Pumikit na lang ako at saka natulog ulit. Ngayon lang ako naka-tulog sa byahe kasi sure ako na ’di ako mapapa-hamak dahil kasama ko naman ang isang ’to.

Nagising ako nang marinig kong tawagin ni Levi ang pangalan ko. I stood up and stretched a little bago kami bumaba ng train. I quietly followed Levi dahil siya iyong nagbook ng hotel. It really seemed like pabalik-balik na siya rito dahil ni hindi na siya tumitingin sa mapa at diretso lang siyang naglalakad.

“Ilang beses ka ng naka-punta sa Europe?” I asked.

“I have no idea,” he replied.

“Tsk.”

He laughed. “Why? Jealous?”

“I save lives.”

“I travel for a living.”

I groaned. “Kainis!” sabi ko tapos tinawanan niya lang ako. “So, libre ticket mo?”

“I mean, I do fly the plane, so it’d be weird if they ask me to pay?”

Inirapan ko siya. “I mean, if nagta-travel ka ng hindi ikaw iyong pilot.”

“If same airline, yes,” he replied. “But I rarely use that. I travel enough as it is. During my free days, I’d rather stay in Manila with my family.”

“Sayang naman…”

“When do you think you can free at least a week next?” he asked.

“Ewan. Baka next year pa.”

“You wanna go to Japan? Have you been there?”

“Hindi pa!” I said, but I really wanted to! Sabi kasi ni Niles maganda raw ’dun. Saka sabi niya sana raw doon ako unang nagsolo trip kasi mas madali daw doon saka sobrang nice and helpful daw ng mga tao.

But I was glad that I went to Europe despite objections from Niles and my family—actually mas malala pa ang objection nung si Nileen na akala mo talaga ako makikidnap ako rito sa Europe.

He chuckled at my reaction. “When you get a free time, tell me and I’ll arrange a Japan trip for you, okay?”

I smiled and tiptoed and kissed his cheek. “Thanks. All-expense paid ba ’yan?” I asked, kidding. Asa naman! Kahit nga dito sa Europe, ’di ako pumapayag na siya magbabayad, e. Una, may pera naman ako. Pangalawa, pinagpaguran niya iyong pera niya. Pangatlo, nakaka-guilty kaya.

Pagdating namin sa hotel, we rested for a little while then I took a shower—gustong sumama ni Levi but I insisted against it. Kung anu-ano na naman ang gagawin niya! Na for sure ay gagawin naman namin mamayang gabi! So, no. Kailangan ko ng energy para maglibot dito sa Milan. Kailangan kong masulit iyong Milan dahil medyo masama pa rin ang loob ko sa pag-alis namin sa Switzerland.

“Tapos na ako,” I said, getting out of the shower. I was in my robe and my head was wrapped in a towel. Naka-higa si Levi sa kama tapos napa-upo nang lumabas ako.

Napa-irap ako. “God, hindi ka ba napapagod?” tanong ko nang masama na naman ang tingin niya sa robe ko. The past few nights, I explicitly told him not to be too rough because I needed to freaking walk! Ayoko naman na iika-ika ako rito! But sometimes, he’s reall an asshole. He said na magrequest na lang daw kami ng wheelchair at itutulak niya na lang ako.

Gago talaga ’to minsan.

“Nah,” he said, then tapped my ass nang madaanan ako habang naglalakad siya papasok sa CR. God, he’s insatiable.

While Levi’s showering, I blow-dried my hair and then applied tinted sunscreen and lip balm dahil nagda-dry iyong lips ko sa sobrang lamig dito.

After ko sa buhok at mukha ko, I looked for a pair of underwear sa bag ko. Then sinuot ko na iyong bra at panty ko. But just as I was finishing clasping my bra, at saka naman lumabas si Levi sa CR, with a fucking towel draped around his waist and while he was holding a small towel, drying his hair.

Agad akong napa-lunok sa nakita ko.

’God, Yanyan! Gabi-gabi mo namang natitikman ‘yan! Hindi ba pwedeng mamaya na lang ulit?! Ang dami niyong pwedeng puntahan!’ I told myself as I let my eyes feast on Levi’s naked torso. I didn’t know if he was doing this on purpose o talagang lumabas lang siya ng CR.

Either way, he’s making me horny again!

“What?” he asked, his hand against his head as he was trying to dry his hair. He was looking at me innocently. No. There’s nothing innocent about this guy. I should know.

“God, you play really dirty,” I said, shaking my head in disappointment.

“What?” he asked, still feigning innocence.

I put my hand behind me and began unclasping my bra. “I told you mamayang gabi na,” I said as I walked towards him. “But you just really had to go out of the CR looking like that.”

Natawa siya. “What are you talking about?”

I threw my bra on the chair dahil gagamitin ko pa iyon. “Oh, shut up,” I answered as I pushed him towards the bed and straddled him. Thankfully, the only piece of cloth on his body was that freaking towel kaya naman mabilis kong hinatak iyon paalis sa katawan niya.

I wanted to remove my undies, but I also wanted him inside me already. God, Levi! Kasalanan mo ’to! Ni hindi na ako makapaghubad ng panty! Bakit ako naging ganito ka-atat?!

“I told you, you should’ve just joined me in the shower,” he said while his elbows were propped against the bed and he was watching me as I parted my undies on the side. I held on his shoulder as I slowly lowered myself around him. My lips parted. God… I really love it when he’s inside me.

“We can change position if you’re tired,” he said as I stared at him. I saw his deep breaths. He was holding my waist as if he was trying to keep me in place.

Bahagya akong umiling. “No…” I said, still lowering myself until he was fully inside me. “I like it when I’m on top.”

He nodded as I still watched how his lips parted when all of him was inside. “Well, I like it when you’re on all fours.”

Hindi ko napigilang matawa. “You just like pulling my hair.”

He nodded again. “Definitely,” he said as he assisted me to begin going up and down around him. “Please don’t cut your hair.”

I panted.

Fuck.

“I’ll take that into consideration…” I replied as I continued riding him. But it seemed like Levi lost patience because he quickly changed our position and suddenly, I was on all fours! Ni hindi man lang ako mapagbigyan sa favorite ko! What a jerk!

---

We said quickie.

It turned dirty.

We had to shower again and I had to prepare again. Pasaway kasi! Kaya naman paglabas namin sa hotel, ang unang hinanap namin ay pagkain. We had a heavy meal dahil sa sobrang pagod sa lahat ng ginawa namin sa hotel.

“Yan,” he called.

“What?”

“I have to ask,” he said that made me look at him. “Are you on pills?” Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. “Because you know… we never really used condoms…”

I began stuffing fries inside my mouth.

Shit.

I mean, I was on pills, but may mga gabi na nalilimutan ko dahil sa sobrang pagod. God, so irresponsible!

“Yan…” he called again. “I can wear a condom, you know? I just thought since you never asked… I kind of assumed you were on pills.”

Levi was looking at me, waiting for my answer. Naubos ko na lang iyong fries sa plato ko ay naka-tingin pa rin siya sa akin. Then I reached for the bottle of water and finished it.

“To be fucking honest, with all the sex we’re doing, I really might

get pregnant,“ I straight up told him because it’s the truth. “I don’t know if I will, but I might, so if I do…what then?”

Hindi rin ako maka-galaw.

Naka-tingin lang ako sa kanya.

God, this meal was tensed!

“Do you wanna get married?” he asked.

“Definitely,” I replied. “Do you?”

“With you? Hell, yes.”

Hindi ko napigilang mapa-ngiti. “So… if I get pregnant, we get married?”

Umiling siya. “Lola will kill me.”

I sighed. “Same… Papatayin din ako nila Mama.”

“So…” he said, looking at me. “We should get married first before getting pregnant?”

I nodded. “I mean, if it’s okay?”

Sino ba kasi ang niloloko ko? Kahit naman nung break kami, si Levi lang talaga. I didn’t even bother with the other guys and just focused on work because you know? It’s hard to settle for second best when you know what it’s like to have the best.

A lifetime of mediocrity? Pass.

“I know we’re supposed to get married but then we broke up tapos kaka-ayos lang natin tapos… ito ulit? Parang naka-hyperspeed tayo.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I believe that the length of the relationship doesn’t determine the kind of commitment you’ll be getting. My grandparents dated for like a week before they got married.”

“That’s so long ago! Uso pa ata ang shotgun wedding dati!”

I remember my lola telling me na ’di niya alam na nililigawan na pala siya ni lolo tapos biglang one day, huminto iyong sasakyan ni lolo sa harap ng bahay nila habang nagwawalis si lola, pina-sakay siya sa sasakyan, then next thing, kasal na sila!

That was insane! Pero si lola rin naman kasi, ’di naman ata pumalag! Gosh! May lahi pa ata akong kidnapper!

“So? They still had a great run. Even years after lolo died, lola still remained faithful,” he said, smiling gently. “I’m pretty sure I still don’t know a lot of things about you, but what I’m sure of is that whatever surprise you have for me, I’m in for the long haul.”

I stared at Levi.

He reached for my hands and held them.

“You still don’t know a lot of things about me,” he said, caressing my knuckles with his thumbs. “I’ll make mistakes—I’ll try not to, but I’m sure I’ll still make some… But all I need to know is that if I do make a mistake, you won’t run and we’ll talk about it. And I’ll apologize and I’ll make up for it and that you’ll forgive me. That’s all I need to know.”

Napa-tango ako.

“So… can you do that?” he asked.

“Yeah… Definitely,” I replied, smiling right back at him.

“When do you want to get married?”

I shrugged. “Mas excited ako sa Iceland. Dadalhin mo ako sa Iceland, right?”

He laughed. “You little travel addict.”

I rolled my eyes. “Next year pa talaga ang next na pwede akong umalis.”

“So… what do you propose?”

I looked around. We’re literally surrounded by churches. We’re in freaking Milan, Italy! Isang kembot lang ang Rome dito!

“I mean… Do you think we can get married here then fly to Iceland?” I asked, uncertain with the legalities kasi ’di naman ako lawyer.

“I’m not sure,” he replied. “I think we still have to get married in Manila.”

“Oh…” I paused to think. “What if we have like go to a Church and find a priest that will perform a ‘ceremony?’” I asked. “Then like in front of God, we’re already married, but still pagbalik natin sa Manila, we’ll have another one? Para lang maka-punta tayo sa Iceland?”

Napa-sandal si Levi at napa-cross ng arms. “All this for Iceland?”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you wanna marry me or not?”

There was an amused look on his face as he shook his head. He stood up and offered me his hand. “Let’s get you in a white dress and I’ll get you a ring. And then we’ll make you my wife.”

Final Chapter

Thank you for reading Levi and Yanyan’s story! Up next in Yours Series: Never Yours. To be posted here once finished in Patreon. 

#MYFinalChapter 

“You’re enjoying this, you devil.”

“No, I’m not,” Levi replied, trying his darnest to hold his grin.

“Then let’s cancel.”

“No,” he said. “Your parents traveled all the way from the province and my dad had to cancel an important business meeting.”

“I know, but I’m in a freaking wheelchair!” inis na sabi ko sa kanya habang tulak-tulak niya ako. Mas lalo lang akong na-bwisit sa kanya nang tuluyan na siyang natawa. I pinched his arm and he yelled in pain.

“Yanyan!” sabi niya habang hawak iyong parte na kinurot ko.

“You know that we’re having this dinner tonight, and you just had to bend me in ways that humans aren’t meant to be bent!” I hissed at him at mas lalo lang siyang natawa. And there’s nothing funny about this! Ngayon iyong pamamanhikan tapos ang kulit-kulit pa rin niya kagabi!

“I told you, I’m sorry,” he said, not really sounding apologetic. “We’ll tell them you… twisted your ankle.”

I groaned. “I hate you.”

“I love you, too,” he said as we stopped in front of door of the function area. It was a pretty huge function area dahil sa laki ng pamilya namin. Ngayon ko lang na-realize na pareho kami ni Levi na galing sa malaking pamilya.

“Ready?” he asked.

“God, I hate you,” I said as I shake my head. Bihira na nga lang kaming magkita ng pamilya ko, magsisinungaling pa ako sa kanila. Si Levi kasi talaga, kainis! It wasn’t my fault na halos twice lang kami nagkita ngayong buwan dahil sa schedule niya kaya naman nung nagkita kami kagabi, kulang na lang baliin niya iyong buto ko!

For a moment there, I thought I was doing acrobatics!

Levi kneeled so we’re face to face. “I love you. Sorry about last night—actually, not really sorry, but sorry about your—”

I groaned again. “Just shut up,” sabi ko tapos natawa na naman siya. He just planted a kiss on my cheek bago binuksan iyong pintuan.

We’re already supposed to be the center of attention dahil kami iyong ikakasal, pero mas naging ako iyong center of attention dahil nasa wheel chair ako.

Naka-bisado ko na iyong script ko—I was in a wheelchair because I just finished a 19-hour operation so bangag na bangag ako and I missed a step.

That simple.

As opposed to what really freaking happened.

“What do you want for dinner?” Levi asked while we’re on the way back to my condo. We decided na sa condo ko siya titira—but my family didn’t know because they’re against cohabitation. I mean, whatever, really. My motto is kung wala namang nasasaktan sa ginagawa ko, then I really wouldn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion. Buhay ko naman ’to.

“I don’t know… Pizza?”

“I want rice, Yan,” he replied while he’s driving.

Buong drive ay pinagtatalunan lang namin kung ano ang kakainin namin. Hanggang sa maka-balik kami sa condo, iyon pa rin ang pinag-uusapan namin. Malapit na talaga akong gumawa ng fishbowl na may name ng pagkain para ’di nauubos oras namin sa ganito.

“Thank you,” I said when he carried me and plopped me down on the sofa. “Pahinging water, please?”

“Okay, babe,” he said, but he went back outside.

My phone vibrated. I groaned when I saw that it was Dr. Tan telling me that I’d take on his schedule. ’Di pa rin kasi tapos iyong utang ko sa kanya nung sinalo niya iyong sched ko the last time. God. I couldn’t catch a fucking break!

“You have a parcel,” Levi said.

“What is it?” I asked, angrily typing ‘Okay’ kahit na masama ang loob ko. I was hoping for a benign day dahil pagod pa rin ako sa last surgery. Nakaka-pagod talaga.

“Wait,” Levi said. “It’s a mug—”

“No!” mabilis na sigaw ko nang ma-realize ko kung ano iyong binubuksan niya. I almost jumped from the sofa and tackled him dahil surprise dapat iyon!

“Yanyan…” he said, looking at me while holding the freaking mug! Ugh! I was such a scatter-brain lately! Bakit nalimutan ko na nag-order nga pala ako nung customized mug na ’yun?! “Why… am I holding a mug that says ‘World’s greatest dad?’”

I groaned.

“Are you—” sabi niya at saka mabilis na lumapit sa akin. He sat on the empty space beside me and looked at me with his eyes wide open. “Are you pregnant?”

“Yes,” I said, frowning.

“Oh, thank God!” he said, pulling me close and enveloping me inside his arms. “I was starting to think my sperms have problems. With all the sex we’re doing—”

I groaned again. “I was supposed to make you coffee and then wake you up and give you that mug…”

He broke the hug and looked at me. He reached for my hand and planted a kiss on my knuckle. “You can still wake me up tomorrow and make me coffee, you know?”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, I’m pregnant. Kuha mo akong tubig bilis.”

He laughed. “Fine,” he said, standing up. “Have you had your check-up? I need to come.”

Umiling ako. “Hindi pa. Hindi ko pa nasasabi kay Niles. ’Wag mong sasabihin kay Marcus!” I warned him. Nung nalaman ni Niles na nagpa-kasal kami ni Levi sa Milan, sinabunutan niya talaga ako! She’s so pissed that even when she’s going through labor, nagawa niya pa akong sabunutan!

“I promise,” he said, handing me my water. “Oh, shit,” he continued, his eyes widening.

“What?” tanong ko na medyo nabahala sa reaksyon niya.

“Shit. You should’ve told me so I didn’t bend you like that—”

“It’s okay to have sex—”

“What if I hit our baby—”

“Levi, you’re a gifted man, but you’re not a horse, okay?” sabi ko habang pini-pigilan ang tawa dahil parang nabunutan siya ng tinik sa dibdib. Did he really think na aabot sa uterus ko ’yun?

“Seriously?” he asked, still sounding skeptical.

I nodded. “Yup. Affirmative. Your wife’s a doctor, remember?”

He nodded with relief. “Do you know how many months?”

“14 weeks,” I said.

“So, not Iceland baby.”

“No. It’s probably a kitchen-counter baby.”

Levi groaned. “Please don’t call our baby kitchen-counter baby.”

“I mean, if it’s the truth?” I replied, shrugging. “You know, since I’m pregnant, I need foot rubs,” sabi ko habang pina-patong sa legs niya iyong paa ko.

“I have a feeling that you’re about to be a lot bossier now that you’re pregnant.”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “Oh, Levi… You have no idea…” I said as I closed my eyes as I let my husband rub my swollen feet. 

**

07-26-2024 update: this book is finally published under Pop fiction!!! Hope you can grab a copy! :) You can get one via the online stores of Popfiction in shopee and lazada. Thank you so much!! x 

Book version contains all the chapters plus epilogue (in Levi’s POV). Epilogue is exclusive in the book version only :)