Prologue

“Celine, tara na, malalate na tayo sa contest.” Venus shouted as she pulled me inside the van, papunta kami ng university for battle bands at 8:00 pm and it’s already 7:35 pm, kung kaya’t hindi na magkanda mayaw si Venus sa pagmamadali. Her voice is like a ticking bomb, any moment now sasabog ito kung hindi pa kami magmamadali gaya niya.

“Bakit naman kasi sa dami mong pwedeng kalimutan ay yang guitar mo pa, Celine, ano bayan!!!” Venus was busy driving but still managed to nag at me, still my multitasking queen. “Alam mo naman na hindi ako makakatutog kapag hindi ito ang gagamitin ko.” I utter while staring at my acoustic guitar, and gently touching its strings. Venus just let out a heavy sigh before focusing on the road.

Habang pinagmamasdan ko ang aking gitara,I still remember him. He was once my inspiration in life but there are things that aren’t meant to be, things that you treasure so much to the point that it harms you already.

“Nandito na tayo,” nagsimula ng tanggalin ni Venus ang kanyang seatbelt, I did the same thing, and glance through the window of our van. A lot of college student attended the event, they were all here for the contest. You can clearly see the divided groups of fans-club from different bands.

“Suotin mo ito, and check your shoes kung nakatali ba, ayaw ko nang maulit yung last time na dinumog tayo dahil hindi tayo nakatakbo,” she gaze at my shoes and continue. “Dahil sa sintas ng sapatos mo, hmf.” Vinus rolled her eyes on me, and I just chuckled in a sense of embarrassment and guilt about what happened last time. Kasalanan ko naman talaga iyon, napaka careless kasi.

Muling pumasok sa isip ko ang pangyayaring iyon, we were caught by our fans because we were supposed to run but got interrupted because of my freaking shoelace who happened to betray us. Reason for us to get caught up by fans. And, natisod pa ako dahil sa sintas na iyon, will never be forgotten. “Ready.“She said, wearing her sunglasses, while I wore the facemask that she handed, grab my guitar from the backseat of the vehicle.

We got out of the van and ran as fast as we could to the fine arts building. Hindi kami nakaligtas sa mga mata ng fans kaya hinabol kami pero buti na lang nakapasok na kami sa loob ng building bago pa kami maabutan ng mga fans.

“That was close.” Napahawak ako sa tuhod ko while catching my breath. Gosh, ang layo kaya ng tinakbo namin. “Buti na lang kamo hindi na pinapapasok dito sa building natin ang mga fans kung hindi patay na talaga tayo.” Venus sat on the floor because what we did was freaking tiring. Imagine you’re always obligated to run away from your fans because of how many they are, and how crowded it can get if you let them have your attention for signings and greetings. Sobrang hassle ’non, lalo na pag ganitong moment, kung saan may hinahabol kaming oras.

“I agree.” I said. “Oh, nandyan na pala kayo, tara na sa loob.” Nakita namin si Otis na naglalakad palapit sa amin at tinulungan tumayo si Venus mula sa sahig. “Rehearsal na muna tayo bago mag start ang laban.” He also pulls me towards him, and put my hands around his shoulders para alalayan kaming maglakad ni Venus.

“You know what, may pakinabang ka pala talaga, Otis, ngayon ko lang na realize.” Venus teases him, we just laugh at her and find our way through the audio room. Pagpasok namin sa loob, nandon na si Zake, setting our things up already para makapag last minute rehearsal pa kami. Even though we master our piece, we still need to make sure we’re settled. We’re not accepting any losses tonight.

“Tagal niyo ah, nandon na sa venue yung mga kalaban, mukhang malalakas.” Zake utters as he seats properly in front of his drum set. “Ok lang ’yon, mas malakas pa rin tayo noh.” Taas noo namang tugon nii Venus ng makalapit siya sa electric guitar niya.

“Tama, we are the Nefarious the unbeatable band.” Otis says and raises his guitar in one hand carry like he has won the contest already. Umiling na lamang ako sa mga pinagsasabi nila at pumwesto na sa gitna and fix the microphone.

After a minute of rehearsing our computing son, we didn’t waste a second and fix our things up. We went outside where the main competition was happening, as we arrived at the field there were tons of students waiting for the competition to start. I can also see the powerful visibility or our nemesis.

Hindi naman ako kinakabahan sa mga laban na ganito, halos isang taon na namin itong ginagawa ng banda ko, pero hindi ko maintindihan ngayon kung bakit kinakabahan ako ng sobra. Iba yung pakiramdam ko ngayon.

“Dito daw tayo, guys.” Zake gestures pointing the table at the backstage. Kung saan muna kami mag-stay habang hindi pa namin time magperform. We sit and rest there while waiting for the contest to start.

We are surrounded by different kinds of bands, mula sa iba’t-ibang colleges. Sila ang mga makakaharap namin ngayong gabi. “Ahm, sandal lang restroom lang ako.” Paalam ko sa kanila, they all nodded at me before I walked and sought for the nearest restroom.

Hindi naman ako nag-aalala sa mga fans dahil bawal naman sila dito sa backstage, and I’m sure busy na sila sa field, finding their own seats. Well, we loved our fans so much pero kasi kailangan rin naming ng privacy minsan kaya tinatakasan namin sila because they get so clingy and insensitive when it comes to privacy.

I was busy walking towards the restroom while fixing my bracelet when, “Opss, I’m sorry.!” I bump into someone and that’s my immediate response. Napaupo pa nga ako sa sahig dahil sa lakas ng pagkakabangga ko, medyo kumirot ang kaliwang bahagi ng aking bewang, napapikit ako at ininda iyon.

Nang iminulat ko ang aking mga mata, a pair of shoe from a men was the first thing I saw, agad akong kinabahan sa hindi malamang dahilan. Why do I feel bad about this? My heart starts beating so fast. Oh please don’t tell me, I slowly arched my head, and my gaze to the man standing in front of me.

“Tagan?” I whisper breathlessly. He’s standing right in front of me, I can’t even breathe properly right now, the moment our eyes meet. Ang mga malalamig niyang mga mata ay nakatingin sa akin, gaya ng dati still emotionless.

Unti-unti akong tumayo para harapin siya and I’m not breaking our gaze. “Tagan.” sambit ko nang makatayo ako ng maayos sa harap niya, I can feel my hands were trembling, my knees are shaking, and my heart is panicking. “Long time no see.” He utters in the coldest tone he could ever give, his gaze darted my soul.

Hindi ko maintindihan ang aking nararamdaman, it was a mix of emotions. I want to hug him and cry, I can’t explain how I miss him. But, I controlled myself, Celine stop it, hindi ba tinapos mo na kung ano man ang nararamdaman mo para sa kanya, bakit hindi ka pa umalis dyan?

My lips parted, I wanted to talk, say something but it’s so hard to let out any words from my mouth right now. “Ahm—,” I was cut off when one of his bandmates showed up. “Tagan, tara na mag start na yong contest,” He stop and glance at me eyes wide open. “Celine, ikaw ba’yan?” gulat na sambit ni Aiden, tumigil siya sa tabi ni Taga at umakbay dito.

“Shocks, Celine, ang tagal nating hindi nagkita ah.” Tove said as he stood on the other side of Tagan. Tumango ako sakanila at nagpaalam. “It was nice to see you again, guys, I’d better go.” I started to walk past them.

Naramdaman kong naglakad na ’rin sila paalis, and I also hear them talking. “Hindi pwedeng madistract, kailangan natin manalo dito para maisalba pa natin ang banda.” I heard Tove said. “Tama, focus, Tagan.” Napalingon ako sa sinabi nila pero lumiko na sila palabas, anong ibig nilang sabihin that this contest will save their band, bakit anong nangyayari sa Cntrl S?

Pagpasok ko sa restroom may dalawang babaeng nag-aayos sa harap ng salamin, when they saw me they immediately smile at me. Tumango ako sa kanila at pumasok na sa isang cubicle.

After I pee, lumabas na ako agad at naghugas ng kamay. I notice that they are from Mondrian University, which Tagan and his band represent. Well, I was once a Mondrian student back then but not anymore. “Satingin mo ba mananalo ang Cntrl S?” Hindi ko sinasadyang marinig ang usapan nila, pero I stop to listen. I’m so curious about it.

“Kailangan dahil kung hindi papatigilin na sila ni Dean. Bakit kasi nakipagaway si Aiden sa anak ng Dean, yan tuloy nadamay pati ang banda, kaya sana talaga manalo sila.” So that’s the reason why they need to win. I don’t know everything but that thought bothers me. I went back to our table, umupo ako sa available seat and remained silent.

The contest started, and pangatlo kami and Cntrl S were next to us.“Let’s call on the Pride of Ethereal University, Nefarious!!!” Umakyat kami sa stage dala ang aming mga gitara, and positioned on our designated spot.

“Once again, Nefarious!” Nag palakpakan ang lahat, we all glance at Zake, waiting for his go signal. He started to beat the countdown.

“1 2 3 let’s go!” We started to play. I grab the microphone and start singing. (Zara Larsson- Ruin my Life)

“I miss you pushing me close to the edge, I miss you, I wish I knew what I had when I left I miss you.” My eyes locked at Tagan. Who’s standing beside his bandmates, watching us.

“You set fire to my world, coundn’t handle the heat, now, I’m sleeping alone and I’m starting to freeze, baby,come bring me help, let it rain over me, baby, come back to me.” singing and staring at the man who once ruin my life, feels like talking to him in a melodic way.

His gaze was so cold, but still it gives me a warm feeling for him. It’s like nothing has changed. “I want you to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah.” My heart was beating abnormally. I can’t do this right if he kept looking at me with those eyes.

This song’s for you, Tagan. You know what, I still love you so damn much. Hindi ko tinapos ang kanta at agad akong umalis sa stage leaving my bandmates hanging, tumakbo ako sa restroom at nagkulong sa isang cubicle.

I shed sorrowful tears, I just left my bandmates out there, how foolish is that? I hugged my knees, shook my head down and cried out loud.

I did that because..“The winner for tonight’s Battle of the Band is no other than, CNTRL S Band from Mondrian University!” I want him to win this battle again.

---

“Tangina naman, Celine!” Napapikit na lang ako sa malakas na sigaw ni Venus sa akin. We’re at the condo, we head straight home after the announcement of winner. I know she’s mad at me because my actions are so damn foolish. I deserve this.

“S-sorry.” Tears started to fall from my eyes again. “Hanggang ngayon ba naman magpapakatanga ka pa ’rin sa Tagan na yan, hindi ka pa ba nadala nung senior high tayo? Ano boba ka na ba talaga!” I shook my head at her and let my tears fall.

“I still love him,” I whispered weakly, and I will always love him.

---

NOTES: “Tagan” is pronounce as “Tay-gan.” 

(Edited: 03/03/2025) 12:27hrs)

RML

CELINE

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/92a02c41ba18f7313e317df715050c28e0e66488/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f682d783541714275686e487877413d3d2d3230362e313632323235343734366139623734643139323338323836363239302e6a7067)

TAGAN

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/b6e8243ee5c7fc8831c3d38ef7424968bb126cc9/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f41334e424c6c5a6d477a534f51673d3d2d3230362e313632323235353134356266613936343339393137343834323937332e6a7067)

CHAPTER 1 : COLD EYES

“Mommy, pasok na po ako.” I shouted as I went out of our house’ main door. “Take care, Celine darling,” rinig kong sigaw ni mommy mula sa loob ng bahay. I smile and tumakbo ako papunta kay Kuya Gaston, ang aking driver.

“Good morning po, ma’am,” He greeted me and opened the back seat for me. “Good morning ’rin po, kuya Gaston,” masigla kong sambit at sumakay sa loob ng sasakyan.

It just took us fifthteen minutes to finally arrive at my school, Mondrian University. This is where I’m studying, and I’m already in my senior high, grade eleven. I’m taking Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) as my academic strand. Well, I choose this kasi, I find it interesting, I love science.

Habang naglalakad ako sa hallway ng building namin, someone screams my name. “Celine!!!” Well, I know this bitch, she’s my best friend, Venus Roselle Yap. “Ikaw ang layo mo pa lang makasaigaw ka na agad dyan, hindi ka talaga nahihiya.” Pasinghal kong pagsuway sa kanya, sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa classroom namin.

“Bakit ba kasi eh, nakita na kita doon palang eh. Alangan namang hindi kita tawagin, duh,” Maarte nitong sambit, pansin ko ang mga taong tumitingin sa amin habang kami ay naglalakad. Alam kong dahil iyon kay Venus, she’s walking like a model kaya nakaka agaw pansin talaga ito. What do you expect she’s born to be a star, all attention

Well, isa pa hindi naman kasi mapagkakaila na maganda talaga si Venus kaya madaming nagkakagusto sa kanya pero hindi nila alam kung gaano kalala ang ugali nitong bestfriend ko, hay nako. “Alam mo minsan ayaw ko na talaga sumabay sayo, nakakagaw ka ng atensyon ng ibang tao pati tuloy ako tinitignan,” Bulong ko sa kanya.

“Gaga, hindi lang ako ang tinitignan ng mga ’yan syempre ikaw ’rin, sino kayang hindi mapapatingin sa isang Yashashree Celine Amora ang kapatid ng sikat na si Drake Francine Amora the hottest racer in the country,” Halos kuminang ang mata ni Venus ng banggitin ang pangalan ng kuya ko.

“Ang sabihin mo crush mo lang ang kuya ko,” Pagkatapos kong’ sabihin iyon pumasok na ako sa classroom namin at ganun din siya habang namumula ang mga pisngi na parang kamatis.

“Hoy hindi ah, fan lang ako,” She’s defending herself, umupo kami sa upuan namin. Tinawanan ko na lang siya kahit todo tanggi siya na crush niya ang kuya ko. Yes, my brother is a famous racer here in the Philippines, pero ngayon nasa Australia siya para sa world cup kasama si dad.

Dumating rin ang teacher namin after a few minutes. “Kriselle Admira,” Teacher. “Present.”

“Yashashree Celine Amora,” I utter. “Present, ma’am,” Tinaas ko ang aking kamay para makita ako ng teacher namin, I don’t want to be marked absent because she didn’t see me raising my hand. After that she started to proceed to our lecture. It’s Understanding the Self subject.

Matapos ang klase, Venus and I ran towards the cooking club room, dahil ayon ang sinalihan namin na club simula nung pumasok kami dito sa Mondrian.Well, we’ve been into cooking and baking since elementary school, thanks to the lessons we got from Mom back then.

“Miss Lacson, nandito na po kami,” masiglang sambit namin ni Venus ng makita namin si Miss Lacson sa loob, she’s the president of this club.

“Oh, buti nandyan na kayo halika tulungan niyo ako gumawa ng cupcake para sa conference meeting mamaya para sa mga teachers,” 1 pm pa lang naman kaya may time pa kami para sa 4 pm conference meeting mamaya.

Half day lang ang klase namin tuwing MWF kaya may time kami dito sa Cooking club. “Sige po, Miss mag-aayos na po kami,” sinuot namin ni Venus ang apron namin, pati na’rin ang hairnet and gloves.

“Celine, ikaw na sa icing, and Venus sa chocolate toppings.” Miss Lacson commanded kaya agad na’rin kaming kumilos at ginawa ang inutos niya sa’min.

I enjoy baking and cooking—it’s something I do almost all the time, not just here at the club but also at home. Preparing food for the people I love has always been my thing. It brings so much joy to my heart.

Like, hindi mabubuo ang araw ko kapag hindi ako nag-babake and cook, that’s how much I love baking. While we were busy baking isang malakas na hiyawan mula sa labas ng pumukaw ng aming atensyon.

Malalakas na pagtili ng mga kababaihan ang nanaig sa labas. Anong meron? Nagkatinginan kami ni Venus, pinagpag ko ang aking kamay sa aking suot na apron, while curiosity eats me.

“What’s that?” Venus asked, looking confused. I just shrugged, just as clueless as she was about the commotion. I was curious too.

Lalong lumalakas ang sigawan papalapit ng papalapit sa kinaroroonan namin, “What in the—.” Hindi ko matapos ang aking salita ng makita ang sobrang daming babae sa hallway.

“What’s happening?” The curiosity overwhelmed me, taking over every thought. I couldn’t take it anymore, and my feet carried me outside. I had to know what was going on. As soon as I stepped through the door, I was met with a sea of people. And just like I mentioned earlier, it was mostly women.

Tumingkayad ako habang hawak-hawak ang isang cupcake sa aking mga kamay, na kasalukuyan kong nilalagyan ng icing.

Biglang gumilid ang mga babae kung kaya’t natigilan din ako sa pagsilip. Tila ba’y naging domino silang lahat at gumilid pero patuloy pa ’rin ang pag sigaw.

A group of men walked through the center of the crowd. So, they were the reason these girls were going wild, like animals in a frenzy. Tatlong lalaking kampante na naglalakad sa gitna ng dagat ng kababaihan at hindi alintana ang sigaw ng mga ito.

Habang papalapit sila sa aking kinaroroonan, biglang bumilis ang tibok ng aking puso. I locked eyes with one of them. His stare was as cold as ice, as blank as the desert. I couldn’t explain how stran

Bumilis ng bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko habang palapit sila.

His movements felt like they were in slow motion. It was as if the loud shouts around me faded away, and I became deaf to everything except the frantic pounding of my own heart. The eerie sound of his footsteps echoed with each step he took, the heavy thud resonating in the silence that surrounded me.

I was lost in his eyes, staring blankly until they passed by where I was standing. I snapped back to reality when the girls suddenly screamed and ran after them. I tried to step aside, aware that they were about to bump into me, but it was too late.

One of them bumped into my shoulder, causing the cupcake to slip from my hand. I tried to save it, but it fell onto my chest and then to the floor. I lost my balance and tumbled to the ground, just like the cupcake. Half of the icing splattered onto my uniform and apron.

“Ouch,” inda ko ang maling pagbagsak ko, ang sakit ng balakang ko.I wiped the icing off my chest when suddenly, the surrounding noise fell into silence. I stopped and glanced behind me, only to be met by the two men who had just been swarmed by the women earlier. They were standing right behind me.

“Miss, ok ka lang?” The guy wearing the sky blue dress shirt extended his hand to me, tumango ako sa kanya at tumayo ng hindi inaabot ang kanyang kamay. Even though my hips ached terribly from trying to stand on my own, I managed to keep my expression neutral.

“Pasensya ka na sa mga fans namin ah, they’re a little too aggressive.” Nahihiyang binawi ng lalaking naka skyblue ang kanyang kamay, at pinang-kamot na lang ito sa kanyang batok, dahil hindi ko iyon tinanggap. My gaze shifted to the guy standing behind them. His hands were in his pockets, his eyes locked on my messy apron.

I froze when I noticed how deep his cold stare went. Once again, it made me feel weak and shiver for reasons I couldn’t explain. His gaze, from my apron all the way up to my face, remained blank and as cold as ice. I don’t know what it was, but his presence, his stare, his entire aura made me so damn nervous and weak.

“Ah sige, mauna na kami miss ah, ako na ang humihingi ng pasensya para sa mga fans ko.” Malumanay na sambit ng lalaking nasa harapan ko bago sila naglakad papalayo at gaya ng senaryo kanina pinagkaguluhan muli sila ng mga kababaihan na parang walang nangyari.

My eyes remained locked on his gaze. “Tsk.” That was the only reaction I got from him. He then followed Mr. Sky Blue, and they both walked away, leaving a trail of girls following them.

His eyes were the color of ash gray, mesmerizing in their depth, and he stood at 5’11. He was so beautiful, it almost took my breath away. How could a man possess such beauty—his aura, his cold presence—it was as if it was drawing me in, and for reasons I couldn’t explain, I felt completely captivated.

Why does he make me feel this way? It’s like I’m scared, but I’m not. It’s so confusing. My heart is racing, even though I’m not running.

Nanlalamig ako kahit sobrang init dito sa labas, and lastly his eyes hindi ko mapigilang hindi ito titigan. It was like a poison—something you know you shouldn’t have, but you crave it anyway. I wanted to see those eyes again, always. Celine, anong nangyayari sayo?

“Oh anong nangyari sayo, Celine?” The door swung open, and Venus appeared beside me, giving me a once-over. She tried her best not to laugh at the mess I was in.

“Akala mo ba lotion ’yang icing?” Tiningnan ko na lang siya ng masama pero ang bruha tinawanan pa ako lalo.

“Halika na sa loob,” hinila niya ako pero napatigil ako at ininda ang sakit ng balakang ko. Kaya dinala nila ako ni Miss Lacson sa clinic.

“Masakit pa ba?’ tanong sa akin ni Venus, habang nakadapa ako rito sa folding bed dito clinic, she’s putting hot compress in my hips.

Umiling na lang ako sa kanya bilang sagot at inisip ulit ang mga matang iyon.

“Sino ka?” I whisper. Bakit ganito ang epekto mo sa akin?

CHAPTER 2 : CNTRL S

A week has passed, and my hips are still a bit sore, bruised, and swollen, but it’s slowly getting better. During that week, the image of that man stayed in my mind—his eyes seemed to have left a mark in my thoughts.

Walang gabi na hindi ito paulit-ulit na nagrereply sa panaginip. Halos hindi ako makatulog ng maayos. I can’t get him out of my mind.

“Darling eat properly iha, maaga pa naman kaya hindi ka malalate sa school n’yan.” Malumanay at napakalambing na sambit ng aking ina, hinawi nito ang ilang hibla ng buhok na humaharang sa aking mukha.

I smiled at her as I continued chewing my food. “Look at you, you’re growing up too fast, baby,” she said, pouting. My mom is the sweetest.

After eating the delicious breakfast my mom prepared for me, I quickly grabbed my things for school. “Mom, bye, see you later!” Nagpaalam ako kay mommy bago lumabas ng bahay.

I arrived at school earlier than I expected, and since I still had plenty of time, I decided to walk around the campus. Classes didn’t start until 08:00 AM, and glancing at my watch, I saw I still had forty minutes to roam.

My attention was drawn to the surroundings—the buildings, the trees, and the bulletin boards scattered across the campus. “Oh my gosh!” Natigilan ako sa paglalakad ng may makita akong mga grupo ng kababaihan na nagkukumpulan sa harap ng isang bulletin board. Anong meron?

Once again, curiosity got the best of me. I had to see what they were all looking at. Lumapit ako sa mga ito, at pinilit isiksik ang aking sarili hanggang sa mapanta ako sa harapan.

It was the school activities bulletin board, and there was something new posted. A poster about the upcoming Battle of the Bands this weekend. So soon? When was this even posted? Why is it happening on the weekend so quickly?

“Ano naman ang nakakakilig d’yan?” I whisper to myself, hindi ko maintindihan bakit ganito ang mga reaksyon ng mga babaeng ito sa simpleng Battle of the Bands. Hindi ba every year naman talaga ito nangyayari sa campus? Anong meron? “O M G, I already make paalam to my mom this weekends for them,” Maarte at tila hindi mapakaling sambit ng babaeng nakatayo sa tabi ko habang kausap nito ang kanyang mga kaibigan.

“Yeah right, I can’t wait to see Tove, he’s damn handsome talaga,” Kumunot ang noo ko sa tugon ng kanyang kaibigan, looking at their faces it feels cringy. Para silang mga hinog na tomatoes, sobrang namumula ang mga pisngi sa kilig.

Who’s Tove?

“You know mas hot pa ’rin ang Aiden ko, noh!” The other girl said. Aiden? Who are they talking about? Wala akong maintindihan? Kinalabit ko ang isa sa kanila.

“Ah miss, pwedeng magtanong?” They both looked at me, I smiled at them.

“Yeah, you’re already asking na nga eh,” Maarteng sambit nito, ang sungit naman may regla ba siya? Parang kanina lang parang iniipit na bulate sa kilig. “Ano ba yung pinag uusapan niyo? Isa pa anong meron sa battle of the band this weekend, bakit kayo nagkakagulo?”

“Duh, you don’t know, Cntrl S? Sila ang tutugtog this weekend for our school representative, that’s why many girls are going crazy. They are freaking hot in stage!!!” Hindi makapaniwala na ani nito, may mali ba sa tanong ko? Ano daw ulit?

“Cntrl, what?” Cntrl ano? Was that the name of the group? “Cntrl S, the band gosh, girl you’re studying in Mondrian and you don’t know them?” Kaya nga nagtatanong eh, “Oh my!” Inirapan nila akong magkakaibigan bago umalis.

Why is she mad, may mali ba akong nasabi? And, what is Cntrl S? May banda pala ang school namin, bakit hindi ko alam? Ay, nako bahala na nga, ano ang pake ko ’doon.

Kalimutan mo na lang Celine. Biliwala ko na ang curiosity na bumabalot sa aking katawan at nagpatuloy na lamang sa pag-iikot sa campus.

When the clock strikes eight, I’m already inside our classroom. Naabutan ko si Venus na nakikipag-usap sa iba naming kaklase, nilapitan ko siya at hinila pabalik sa upuan na’min. “Aray, makahila ah!” Reklamo niya ng makaupo kami ng tuluyan sa seats namin.

“Tell me, sino ang banda ng school natin, I mean representative ng school natin when it comes to battle of the bands, ganun?” seryoso ko siyang tinitigan sa mukha when I ask that question.

“Banda? Yung Cntrl S ba?” Kunot noo nitong sambit, Oo, yung Cntrl something. Ano ba ibig sabihin ’non? “Yes, what is Cntrl S and sino sila?” Her jaw drops because of my question, she hysterically touch her chest and gasp, halatang gulat na gulat siya sa mga lumabas sa bibig ko.

Ang OA nilang lahat, ako lang ba talaga ang hindi familiar sa grupong iyon? I haven’t heard of it since today.

“Ano ba yan, Celine, bakit hindi mo sila kilala?” She stood there, with total disappointment written all over her face. “Sabagay wala ka naman kasing pakialam sa mga tao at nangyayari sa paligid mo kaya unaware ka sa banda,” Napawi ang disappointment sa kanyang mukha ng marealize niya din ang ugali ko. She’s got a point.

“Sino nga sila?” hindi ko alam pero naeexcite ako na malaman ang tungkol sa banda na iyon. “Well—,” Hindi natapos ni Venus ang sasabihin ng may magsigawan sa lahbas, sa campus field. Kung kaya’t agad kaming tumayo para tingnan iyon.

When I saw who they were shouting and cheering for, I unconsciously gripped both sides of my skirt. My heart began to race, and a cold wave of panic washed over me, freezing my body in place.

It’s him again, the guy who never lets me sleep. He brings this strange feeling within me, his presence seems to have a draining effect on my body. My body reacts every time he’s around.

The three of them again, walking through the field like princes, as if they owned the place. People were practically worshipping them, and women went wild whenever they were around. That’s the kind of power they held, just with their presence.

Bukod sa hindi mapagkakailang angking kagwapuhan ng mga ito, talagang malakas din ang kanilang karisma.

“Sila ang Cntrl S, Celine,” My lips parted when Venus speaks, sila yung tinutukoy ng mga babae kanina? They’re in a band? How come I don’t know them?

Those eyes again. I bit the bottom of my lip, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling rising within me. This guy is really something. I don’t even understand myself when he’s around. I can’t breathe.

“Sila ang binuong banda para dito sa Mondrian University, naging sikat sila dahil sa sobrang galing nila and syempre gwapo sila,” Venus said while staring at them outside.

“The band consist of three members only, nakikita mo ba yung lalaki na iyon sa bandang kaliwa.” She slightly pointed her lips towards the guy on the left.

The guy was wearing the school uniform in the coolest way possible, like he was walking down a runway with how effortlessly he wore it. He had that bad boy vibe—those rebellious earrings and accessories, messy hair. He looked like a playboy, in my opinion, but I couldn’t deny how incredibly handsome he was.

“His name is Aiden Xin Castro, Mr. Hottie Drummer ng banda, he’s a total playboy, halos lahat ata ng babae dito sa University ay nakadate na niya, pero grabe naman kasi ang kagwapuhan kaya talagang kahit alam mong playboy papatulan mo pa ’rin. Hello, Xin Castro na ’yan!” Look at this birl, parang tinutukoy niya lang ang sarili niya, halatang-halata na type niya ito, at talagang papatulan din.

“And, that one at the center, he’s Apollo Tove Salazar,” Ahh, so that’s Tove, yung tinutukoy kanina nung babae sa baba. “Mr. Charming Vocalist and Mr. Right ng campus, he’s a happy-go-lucky kind of man naman.” So, that Mr. Sky Blue guy that talked to me last time was Tove.

Now, he was wearing ripped denim jeans paired with a light blue oversized shirt. With his features, he looked like an angel sent from above. And his name, Apollo, couldn’t have been more fitting—it suited him perfectly. His parents definitely nailed it when they chose that name for him.

“And last, that guy over there,” she said, finally pointing at the one guy I’m really interested in. The guy who hasn’t let me sleep for an entire week. He was standing to the right, completely ignoring everyone, carrying a guitar bag on his back with his hands casually tucked into his pockets.

“He’s Oliver Tagan Ramirez the great,” Tagan, it suits him. “He’s the Summa-cum laude last year batch at syempre hindi mo alam ’yon dahil hindi ka umattend ng graduation na’tin, back to the story everyone calls him Tagan, the cruel heartless prince.” I didn’t really focus on what she was saying. All I knew was that Tagan would never leave my mind. He’s smart, talented, and handsome—the perfect definition of my type.

He was wearing khaki trouser pants paired with a black oversized hoodie. “Yan sila ang Cntrl S ngayon pwede na ba tayong umupo?” I motioned for him to sit, and I remained standing near the window, watching him until they entered the building.

Days went by, and my curiosity—and growing interest in guys—became impossible to ignore. For the first time in my life, I actually asked my mom for permission to attend the Battle of the Bands.

I don’t usually attend school events that don’t concern any academic activities. “Text me and kuya Gaston pag pauwi ka na darling, take care ok, I love you, enjoy!” Niyakap ako ni mommy bago hinayaang umalis kasama si kuya gaston.

“Let’s all welcome The CNTRL S band of Mondrian University,” Isa-isa na silang umakyat sa stage, and set their instruments on stage.

My eyes were locked on him. Tagan. He looked even more handsome tonight. If seeing him at every concert was like this, I wouldn’t hesitate to buy tickets. Seeing him on stage was the cherry on top.

“Tagan,” I breathlessly whispered, joining the crowd as they started playing. Their voices and music were absolutely incredible, and I was truly amazed by them.

“Oh my Ghad sobrang gwapo,” nagkakagulo na ang mga babae sa paligid.

“Hey sorry!” Sabi ng babaeng nakatapak ng sapatos ko. I just nodded at her and continued watching the band. I think I’m going to be their biggest fan from now on. Tagan, I’ll be your number one fan, I promise.

CHAPTER 3 : FAN

“Ano, seryoso ka ba, Celine?” Hindi makapaniwala na tanong ni Venus, habang nag-aayos kami ng mga gamit loob ng aking silid.

I know it might sound a little crazy, but I was planning to sneak out tonight so we could watch Cntrl S—then I found out they’re actually playing a gig at a club near the university!

“Am I dreaming?” Sambit ni Venus at tila nakatulala sa akin, napangiti ako. Her reaction is valid, I’ve never really asked to go out at night. All my life, I’ve stayed within the four walls of our house. Reading, studying, and baking that’s always been my thing. Sneaking out to go to a club was never on my list.

It’s always been house–school–house—that’s the cycle I grew up with. But today, I want something different. I want change. I want to see the band. I want to watch Cntrl S on stage again.

“Papayagan kaya tayo?” Tanong nito, I glance at her and smile. Then I jump off the bed and take her hands in mine.“Syempre naman, si mommy naman ang nandyan,” confident kong sambit, kilala ko ang mommy ko. She’s the most supportive mom in the world, I know she’ll let us go. My dad, on the other hand, is the complete opposite.

If my dad or brother were here, the first thing I’d hear is ‘No.’ They’re both really protective of me.

“Bahala ka, basta ako sasamahan lang kita.” Bakas sa kanyang mukha na hindi pa ’rin ito kumbinsido sa sinabi ko. Kung kaya’t hindi na ako ng sayang ng oras, hinila ko siya palabas ng aking silid, We went downstairs and headed straight to my mom’s reading nook. “Mommy!” I called out.

She’s not in her reading book—she’s probably somewhere else. The kitchen! “Mommy!” I shouted again. We found her there, cooking something that smelled delicious. Venus and I stopped in front of the counter to see what she was making.

“Yes?” Nakangiti nitong sambit. “Mommy ko,” malambing kong sambit, bago lumapit sa kanya,

I hugged her from behind and rubbed my head against her shoulder.

“What is this, my dear?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Mommy, please, can we go out tonight? We just want to watch something near the university,” I said sweetly.

Mom stopped what she was doing and looked at me with an excited smile on her face. “Sure, darling.” Yes! I knew Mom would never disappoint me.

“But on one condition, be back before 10:00 pm, okay? Your dad will call to check on us, so we better not get caught.” She poked the tip of my nose, winked, chuckled, and kissed me on the forehead.

“Yes mommy, bago mag 10, nandito na po kami,” masiglang sagot ko kay mommy bago siya niyakap ng mahigpit at hinila si Venus palabas ng bahay. “Sabi sayo eh,” masayang sambit ko habang pasakay kami ng sasakyan.

“Kuya Gaston, sa University po kami,” kuya Gaston nodded at us and drove us to the university. “Sigurado ka ba talaga dito, baka nga hindi pa tayo papasukin sa club we’re only seventeen!” Puno ng pag-aalalang sambit ni Venus, habang tinitingnan ang kanyang telepono.

“Hindi ’yan, akong bahala.” I said, trying to reassure her that everything was already planned. Nang makarating kami sa tapat ng University pinauwi ko muna si kuya Gaston, and tell him that I’ll just call him pag-uuwi na kami. Naglakad kami ng konti ni Venus sa tabi ng University hanggang sa makarating kami sa lugar kung saan tutugtog ang Cntrl S.

“Teka teka, paano mo nalaman na may gig sila dito?” Nagtatakang tanong niya sa akin.“I stalk there IG’s for information and some of their schedule,” I answered. “Oh my gosh, you what? You’re stalking other people na? Ikaw pa ba yan, Celine?” Venus grabbed both of my shoulders and shook me gently.

“Well, yesterday I just decided to be their fan, and I’m literally going to support them at every gig and battle,” I said confidently as we stood outside the club.

“Shocks! Since when did you become like this? Or don’t tell me, may gusto ka ba sa isa sa kanila, kaya mo ginagawa ’to?” She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at me intensely.

She knows me too well.

“Yeah, you’re right, pero it’s not just about him. Gusto ko talaga ang banda nila, and the way they play music and sing.” I looked at Venus, but she didn’t seem convinced.

“Tell me, sino sa kanila?” she asked.

I avoided looking at her. “Si Tagan,” I said.

“Wait, bakit si Tagan!? Why not Apollo Tove?” She raised her eyebrows at me.

“Eh, siya gusto nito oh,” I said, pointing to the left side of my chest—right where the heart is.

“Diba sinabi ko sa’yo na heartless yung lalaki na iyon?” Venus tried to convince me.

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t know… I just want to get to know him more.”

Hinila ko na siya papasok, at ang nakakagulat, hinayaan lang kaming pumasok ng guard, hindi siya nangielam kahit naglalakad kami sa entrance.

Pagpasok namin sa loob, isang unfamiliar smell ang sumalubong sa’kin, amoy alak at usok. Paglingon ko, sobrang dami ng tao at nagsasayawan sila. Tapos, ang malilikot na ilaw sa loob, nakakasilaw at nakakahilo talaga.

The place was surrounded by neon lights, and some parts of the club were so dark dahil hindi na tatamaan ng ilaw. Nagsimula kaming maglakad ni Venus sa crowd, pero sobrang hirap, natatamaan at natutulak kami ng mga tao sa paligid.

“Shit, bakit ganito dito?” Venus said irritated habang naglalakad kami sa gitna ng crowd.

Nang makalapit na kami sa stage, nakakita kami ng available na table, kaya agad naming nilapitan iyon. Some waiters offered us drinks, pero umorder lang kami ng tubig.

But we didn’t drink it either—mahirap na mamaya, baka may halo ang inumin namin, this is a club after all.

Mga ilang minuto lang, lumabas na sila mula sa backstage ng club at sinimulan nilang isaayos ang kanilang mga gamit sa harap.

Napasara ako ng upo nang makita si Tagan sa harapan. His face was emotionless, and his cold eyes never left my gaze. I don’t know why, but I really find him amazing and charming, kahit sobrang cold niya.

“Oy, matunaw naman,” hinampas ni Venus ang braso ko para maalis ang pagkatitig ko kay Tagan.

“Hindi naman, noh,” sabi ko.

Itinuon ko ulit ang tingin ko sa harapan at hinintay nilang tumugtog.

They started to play:

(The Weekends- The Hills)

Nagsimula nang kumanta si Tove, and I can’t lie—he’s damn good. The crowd started cheering for them, and the girls here are clearly so in love with the band; I can tell just by what I’m seeing.

They’re heating up the crowd, and it’s amazing, parang sumasabay ang ilaw sa beat ng tinutugtog nila. Tagan looks so handsome when he’s playing his guitar.

Aiden was hitting the beat so perfectly, how do they do that? Everyone in the crowd was vibing to their song, but my eyes stayed locked on him. I totally froze when his eyes met mine—parang humangin ng sobrang lakas the moment our gazes connected.

“I only call you when, it’s half past five, the only time that I’ll be by your side I only love it when you touch me; not feel me,”

“When I’m fuck up that’s the real me when I’m fuck up that’s the real me, yeah I only fuck you when it’d half past five, he only time I’d ever call you mine,”

Nagtitilian ang mga babae dito sa loob kapag umabot sa chorus, and I don’t know why, pero I find it hot dito dahil sa tono ng pagkanta nila—parang sobrang nakakadala ang style nila. Tumayo ako para makita sila nang mas maayos kasi nagsisimula ng dumami ang tao sa harapan.

Nang matapos silang kumanta, bumaba na sila sa stage, and I wanted to grab the chance to give Tagan the letter I had in my bag.

“Hey, saan ka pupunta?” rinig ko si Venus tanong sa akin, pero hindi ko siya nilingon at binilisan ko ang lakad para maabutan ko sila.

I was close to them when someone suddenly grabbed my wrist.

“Hey miss, bago ka rito?” I think the guy was a college student. Hinila niya ako papalapit sa kanya para makausap ng maayos, pero uncomfortable ako kasi sobrang lapit niya, at mahigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa wrist ko.

“Let go,” sabi ko habang sinusubukang hilahin ang kamay ko mula sa kanya, pero hindi niya ako pinakawalan.

“Wanna join me upstairs?” whispered he in my ear, pero tinulak ko siya, at muntik siyang makahawak ulit sa akin.

“Hey, I wanna join you upstairs, pare.” Napalingon ako sa likod ko nang marinig ko ang boses, isang member ng Cntrl S iyon. Si Aiden ’yon, at nasa tabi niya si Tove habang si Tagan ay nasa likod.

“Bakit mo hinihila yung babae?” tanong ni Tove sa lalaking humila sa akin. Dahil nandito ang Cntrl S, syempre lahat ng atensyon nakatutok dito, kaya napayuko ako nang konti, hindi ako sanay sa dami ng tao. “Wala, I just want to be friends with her,” sagot ng lalaki.

“Don’t pursue others if they don’t want to!” Hawak ni Tove ang kamay ko at inilagay ako sa likod niya.

“Tama ’yan, pare. Hindi tama yung pinipilit ang babae,” sabat ni Aiden. Dahil napunta ako sa likuran nila, napansin ko na ngayon, nasa harapan ako ni Tagan.

“Sorry, I won’t do it again,” takot na sabi ng lalaki habang hinarap namin siya.

“Ok ka lang ba, miss?” malambing na tanong ni Aiden, kaya tumango nalang ako at tumingin kay Tove.

“Mag-ingat ka na sa susunod, ha,” sabi niya. Nagsimula na silang maglakad palabas, at tahimik naman na sumunod si Tagan.

Pero bago pa siya tuluyang makalayo, hinila ko ang hoodie niya mula sa likod, kaya huminto siya.

Nilingon niya ako, ganoon din sina Tove at Aiden. Unti-unti kong tinaas ang tingin ko sa kanya hanggang sa magtama ang aming mga mata. Parang nanlalamig ang buong katawan ko bigla.

Unti-unti kong binitawan ang hoodie niya nang bumaba ang tingin niya sa kamay ko. Kinuha ko yung letter na ibibigay ko sa kanya at iniabot ito, sabay yumuko. I waited for his answer. Pero nang maramdaman kong nagtawanan ang mga tao sa paligid, agad kong tinaas ang ulo ko.

Only to find out na wala na siya sa harapan ko. Lumingon ako sa paligid at nakita ang likod niya habang palabas na ng club — sobrang layo na niya. I looked around, and everyone was laughing at me.

“Celine, tara na,” rinig kong sigaw. Buti na lang dumating si Venus at hinila ako palabas doon. Hindi niya tinanggap yung letter ko.

“Ano ba ’yon, Celine? Ano ’to?” hinablot niya yung letter ko para kay Tagan.

“Letter,” sabi ko.

“Gaga ka ba? Tagan is heartless, kaya for sure, hindi niya tatanggapin ’yan,” inis na sabi ni Venus.

Yumuko na lang ako at umupo sa tabing kalsada, nanlalambot ako sa lungkot.

“Umasa lang ako na baka tanggapin niya,” sabi ko nang may pag-asa.

“Asa ka! Yan, napahiya ka tuloy sa loob. Tara na nga, uwi na tayo,” hinila niya ako papuntang university kung saan susunduin kami ni kuya Gaston.

First try pa lang naman, Celine. Malay mo, wala lang siya sa mood. Tama! I’ll try again.

CHAPTER 4 : MY WORTH

“Aba, bilib din talaga ako sa’yo, noh,” said Venus as she sat across from me in our kitchen. Gumagawa kasi ako ngayon ng cookies para ibigay kay Tagan mamaya sa school.

“Bakit?” tanong ko sa kanya.

Suminghal muna siya bago nagsalita, “Duh, napahiya kana nga kagabi, tapos ngayon iisa ka pa ulit?” Nginitian ko siya habang nilalagay ko sa box yung mga cookies na gawa ko.

“I want to show him and his band that I’m a true fan,” sabi ko habang inaayos ang cookies sa loob ng box.

“Bahala ka nga, Celine,” sabi niya, tapos hinayaan niya akong tapusin yung ginagawa ko.

After fixing the cookies, dumiretso na kami agad ni Venus sa school, pero sa Cooking Club kami pumunta dahil alam kong dito dadaan si Tagan.

“Ang tagal naman nila, Celine, baka malate na tayo nito eh,” sabi ni Venus habang naglalakad.

“Sandali na lang, Venus,” bulong ko, at sumilip ako sa pinto. Tama nga ako—dito sila dadaan. Maaga pa kaya wala masyadong fans nila. Great timing, Celine.

Nang makalampas sila sa pinto ng Cooking Club, agad akong lumabas at tinawag sila.

“Sandali,” huminto sila at humarap sa akin.

“Yes?” sabi ni Aiden.

Yumuko ako at tinaas ang dalawang kahon na hawak ko para iabot sa kanila. “Para sa inyo,” halos bulong ko dahil nanginginig ako.

Kinakabahan ako. “Cookies?” kinuha ni Tove mula sa kamay ko yung box kaya inangat ko ang tingin ko sa kanila. Si Tagan nakatingin sa cookies na parang wala siyang pakialam sa presensya ko.

“Thank you ah, fan ka ba namin?” tanong ni Tove habang in inspeksyon ang box. Mabilis akong tumango at ngumiti sa kanila.

“Wow, thank you ah. Wait, ano ’tong isang box? Bakit may Tagan?” kinuha ni Aiden yung box ng cookies para kay Tagan.

Nakita ko na tumaas ang gilid ng mga labi nila ni Tove nung tiningnan nila ito.

“Tagan, para sayo ito, oh—special,” tila tinutukso ni Aiden si Tagan.

Nakita kong tinapunan ng tingin ni Tagan ang box, kaya nagkaroon ako ng pag-asa na tatanggapin niya ito, pero hindi—lumakad na lang siya palayo, sinundan siya ni Aiden at Tove.

“Hindi niya na naman tinanggap,” bulong ko. Bumagsak ang dalawang balikat ko at bumalik ako sa cooking club room, kinuha ang bag ko.

“Oh, ano? Tara na sa classroom?” tanong ni Venus.

“Tara,” sagot ko.

Second attempt failed, Celine. Ok lang, may 100 chances ka pa. I won’t give up that easily, Tagan. I want you to notice me and remember my name.

Fighting, Celine!

---

“Tagan, para sayo,” sabi ko habang nakaupo kami sa isang tambayan sa field. Nilakasan ko ang loob ko para iabot sa kanila ang mga macaroon na ginawa ko.

“Wow, macaroons, pare,” sabi ni Aiden habang tinatanggap ang isang box na hawak ko. Tiningnan nila ito ni Tove.

“Ahm, Tagan, ito para sayo,” inabot ko ulit sa kanya ang box ng macaroons, pero tiningnan niya lang ako at tinabig ang kamay ko.

Nahulog ang hawak kong box ng macaroons dahil sa pagtabig niya. Tumayo siya at umalis, samantalang kami’y naiwan na tatlo, nakatitig pa rin sa mga natapong macaroon mula sa box.

“Oww, sorry ah,” sabi ni Aiden habang pinapat sa balikat ko bago nila sinundan si Tagan na umalis.

I let out a heavy sigh before kneeling on the ground to pick up the macarons that had fallen. After gathering them carefully, pumunta ako sa likod ng building ng senior high, kung saan may mga nakatirang pusa. Doon ko na lang pinakain ang mga natapong macarons.

“Meow,” sabi ko habang pinapakain sila.

“Ano, masarap ba?” tanong ko sa isang kuting na masayang kinakain ang macarons na hawak ko.

“Hay, 10th attempt rejected pa rin,” bulong ko sa sarili.

But I won’t stop, Tagan. Akala mo ah.

---

“Celine, ano na naman ’to? Cheesecake para kay Tagan?” tumabi sakin si Venus habang pinapanood niya akong nagluluto. Ngumiti ako sa kanya.

“Yup!”

“What? Alam mo, nasasayang lang ’yang mga ginagawa mo eh, hindi niya naman tinatanggap.” Nakasimangot siya.

“Ano, kinakain naman nila Aiden at Tove eh.”

“Eh si Tagan? Diba siya lang naman ang dahilan ng mga treats na ginagawa mo? Eh kumain ba siya? Hindi naman, eh nako, Celine.”

“Malay mo, this time tatanggapin niya na.” Napangiti ako habang iniimagine siyang kumakain ng cheesecake.

“Hay nako, bahala ka na talaga, Celine.” Umiling-iling si Venus na parang natalo sa argumento, tapos pinanood na lang ako sa ginagawa ko.

Enjoy ako sa paggawa nito, pero mas masaya dahil para kay Tagan.

“Mommy, papasok na po kami! May natira po akong cheesecake dyan sa ref, try mo po kainin ha! Bye, love you!” sigaw ko mula sa pinto kasama si Venus.

“Yes, darling, I love you! Bye,” Mom called out from the garden and waved at me.

Sumakay na kami ni Venus sa sasakyan at diretso kami papuntang university.

“Good luck,” sabi ni Venus bago ko binuksan ang pinto ng cooking club room para lapitan sila Tagan sa hallway. Binigyan ko siya ng sweet smile bago tuluyang lumabas.

Tumigil ako at tiningnan si Tagan na nakatayo sa hallway kasama sina Aiden at Tove. “Hoooo, kaya mo ’to, Celine,” bulong ko sa sarili habang nagsisimulang lumakad papalapit sa kanila.

“Hello, Tagan,” halos nanginginig ang boses ko sa pagbigkas ng pangalan niya, pero buti nalang hindi siya halata. “Hi,” si Tove ang bumati sa akin, kahit si Tagan ang pangalan na binanggit ko.

“Cheesecake para sayo,” itinaas ko ang box para makita ni Tagan.

“I don’t want it,” sagot ni Tagan nang medyo irritated, habang tinitingnan niya ako ng masama.

“Masarap ’to, ginawa ko. It’s a mix of blueberry cheesecake and cherry glaze,” sabi ko, pilit na hinihikayat siya na tikman ito, sana tanggapin niya na sa pagkakataong ’to.

“I said, I don’t want it! Hindi mo ba maintindihan?” Tumayo siya at nilagpasan ako, pero hinila ko ang hoodie niya mula sa likod para pigilan siyang umalis.

“Sige na, Tagan, try mo lang. Masarap ’to, promise,” pilit kong inabot. Tinabig niya ang braso ko para matanggal ang kapit ko sa hoodie niya.

“Tagan, I like you,” lakas-loob kong sabi bago pa siya makaalis, pero tinapunan niya lang ako ng malamig na tingin.

Dumating ang mga fans nila kaya mabilis na tumayo sina Aiden at Tove para sundan si Tagan. Naglakad sila palayo, pero sinubukan kong habulin si Tagan muli—pero naitulak ako ng mga fans nila, pati ang mga miyembro ng banda ay hinahabol.

Isang aksidenteng matinding pagtulak ang nagdulot sa akin para bumagsak sa lupa. Nabitawan ko ang cheesecakes na hawak ko dahil sa pagbagsak, at sa kasamaang palad, nahulog ito sa akin at natapon sa mukha ko.

The spill caught everyone’s attention. I saw Tagan glance back at me, but he just looked away, walking off like I didn’t exist.

“Oh my god, hahaha!” some girls laughed as they took pictures of me.

“What a loser, hahaha.”

“Yuck, gross!”

“Well, serve you right!”

“You got too close to Tagan, so now look what happened!”

I shook my head, trying to stand on my own. I knew no one was coming to help me.

Slowly, I limped away from the crowd and found my way behind the building. I sat down beside some kittens and let the tears fall.

“Why did I even get pushed? This is so embarrassing,” I whispered to the little cat like it could understand me.

Tears streamed down my face—not just from the sting of Tagan’s rejection, but from the humiliation I felt. My hip and thigh aches badly from the fall. And worse, the cold look in Tagan’s eyes haunted me.

“I just wanted him to try it… But this won’t stop me. Now that he knows I like him, I’ll make sure he never forgets my name this time.”

“Tagan, I’ll make you see my worth—no matter what it takes.”

CHAPTER 5 : WON’T STOP

“Celine, ano ba? Kanina pa kita hinahanap! Anong nangyari sa mukha mo?” tanong ni Venus nang may pag-aalala nang makita niya ako sa likod ng gusali.

Umupo siya sa harapan ko at naglabas ng panyo para punasan ang cheesecake sa mukha ko, pati na rin sa ulo ko.

“Wala, nagpapalipas lang ng oras,” palusot ko.

“Baliw ka talaga. Tinanggihan ka na naman ni Tagan, no?” Alam na alam niya ako.

Yumuko ako at ngumiti. “Oo eh, pero okay lang. May next time pa. At least nasabi ko na sa kanya na gusto ko siya, diba?” Sinusubukan kong i-cheer up ang sarili ko at tingnan ang magandang side ng lahat.

“Hay nako, Celine, nahihibang ka na talaga. Tara na nga,” sabi niya habang hinila ako patayo. Naglakad kami paalis, pero dahil paika-ika ako, dinala niya muna ulit ako sa clinic.

“Naku, Celine, paano mo na naman itatago kay Mommy yang panibagong pasa mo sa hita at bewang? Lagot ka na naman niyan,” saway sa akin ni Venus habang nilalagyan ng hot compress ang hita at balakang ko.

Tiningnan ko ang tinutukoy niyang pasa—at oo nga, may panibago na naman akong pasa dahil sa pagbagsak ko kanina.

“Hayaan mo na, magjojogging pants na lang muna ako sa loob ng bahay para ’di mapansin ni Mom,” sabi ko sa kanya bago nagpahinga na lang dito sa clinic.

---

“Celine, darling, your Kuya Francine wants to see you!” sigaw ni Mommy mula sa kanyang kwarto.

Agad akong tumayo mula sa kama at tumakbo papunta sa kanya, kahit na kumikirot pa rin ang balakang at hita ko.

“Kuya!” sabi ko nang may halong arte para matuwa siya sa reaksyon ko.

“Yash, I miss you, baby!” Malambing na bati ni Kuya sa Skype.

“I miss you too, Kuya. How are you?” tanong ko.

“I’m doing good. Malapit na ang World Cup. Do you think I’ll win?”

Si Kuya ay isa sa pinakamahusay na racers dito sa Pilipinas, at alam kong kaya niyang manalo sa laban na ’to.

“Oo naman, Kuya! Ikaw pa ba? You’re the best kaya! Kaya dapat manalo ka, ha? I’ll be waiting for the news that my Kuya won the World Cup!” masigla kong sabi, umaasang mapapasaya ko siya.

“Hahaha,” tawa ni Kuya. Nag-bonding kami at nag-usap pa sa Skype. Pagkatapos noon, natulog na rin ako dahil sobrang pagod na ako.

Kinabukasan, maaga akong nagising para makapag handa at makapag bake ng chocolate cake para kay Tagan.

Naisip ko na baka may chance na matikman niya ito kung hindi ko ito personal na ibibigay. “Wow, darling, what’s that for?” tanong ni Mommy nang maabutan niya akong nagbabake sa kitchen.

“Mommy, may isang tao sa school na talaga namang nakakuha ng atensyon ko,” pag-amin ko kay Mommy.

Tiningnan niya ako at ngumiti, habang hinihintay ang susunod kong sasabihin.

“And I think I like him, because I’m willing to do this every day for him, but he doesn’t seem to like it, Mommy. What do you think I should do?” Glanced at her, my eyes filled with a touch of pain.

“Darling, you’re lucky that Daddy and your Kuya aren’t here right now, kasi kung nandito sila, baka mayayari tayong dalawa,” sabi ni Mommy.

“Pero alam mo, susuportahan kita sa kahit anong gawin mo at gusto mo. Ang payo ko, sundin mo lang ang gusto ng puso mo, at alam kong mananaig din ang pagmamahal pagkatapos nun.”

Hinawakan niya ang mga kamay ko, para maramdaman ko ang kanyang taos-pusong suporta.

I smiled and hug her, lalo akong nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob dahil sa sinabi ni mommy, she said follow what my hearts want at wala nang ibang gusto ang puso ko ngayon kung hindi si Tagan lang.

I’ll do what it takes for him to notice me and never forget my name.

---

Dahan-dahan akong naglalakad papalapit sa pintuan ng audio room dito sa university—ang lugar kung saan madalas mag-practice ang Cntrl S. Alam kong may ensayo sila ngayong hapon, kaya plano kong palihim na pumasok sa loob para iwan doon ang ginawa kong chocolate cake.

Pagkalagay ko nito sa table ay agad rin akong lumabas, sakto naman na paparating na sila kaya nagtago ako sa pader para hindi nila ako makita.

“Wala ka nang ibang inatupag Aiden kung hindi babae mo tyaka yang junior mo!” rinig kong sabi ni Tove kay Aiden. “Loko pare mahalaga ang gulay kaya pinapanatili kong healthy ang talong ko hahahha,” Aiden.

“Hahaha Gago,” Tove, sumilip ako ng konti para makita sila malapit na sila sa audio room while Tove and Aiden are talking tahimik na nasa likod si Tagan.

Nang makapasok na sila sa loob ng Audio room agad akong sumilip doon and wait for them to notice my Chocolate Cake.

“Oh Tagan, chocolate cake para sayo oh.” Nakita kong kinuha ni Tove ang cake at pinakita ito sa nakaupong Tagan sa gilid while holding his Guitar.

“Wow, mukhang masarap at mukhang galling ulit yan kay miss Sweet treats pare,” sabi naman ni Aiden, ako ba ang tinutukoy nilang Miss Sweet Treats?

Nakita kong tiningnan lang ni Tagan ito at hindi pinansin. “Pare kainin mo para sayo yan eh.” Aiden. “Oo nga Tagan try it masarap yan” binitawan ni Tove ang Chocolate Cake sa lap ni Tagan. “Tsk,” Tagan said.

Pinagpapawisan ako habang hinihintay ang susunod na gagawin ni Tagan, hinawakan niya ito at inangat mula sa Hita niya. I think titikman niya na ito this time.

Tumayo siya ta lumapit sa table sa left side ng audio room I thought he’s going to eat it na pero he just threw it into the trash bean beside the table.

I gasp seeing it ganun din sila Aiden. Bagsak balikat akong umalis doon at hindi maalis sa isip ko ang pagtapon niya sa Chocolate Cake ko. It hurts seeing him throwing my efforts but like I said ‘I won’t stop Tagan, that won’t stop me.’

Lumipas ang tatlong linggo na paulit ulit ko iyong ginagawa but Tagan was so consistent by not eating the treats I make for him. “Ano hindi ka pa ba napapagod Celine ilang Cake, Macaroons, chocolates, breads pa ba ang sasayangin mo para mapansin ka ni Tagan grabe na ah.” Reklamo ni Venus sa akin.

Nandito kami ngayon sa Cooking Club room dahil wala namang klase, and I’m trying to make custard rolls para kay Tagan. “Venus wala namang masama kung magtry parin ako hanggang sa mapansin niya na ako ng tuluyan,” I defended myself.

“Ewan ko ba sayo, alam mo nahihibang kana talaga at sobra na yang pagkagusto mo kay tagan ah ang lala na.” She seated in front of me. I know that, and I still want to try. So please, just let me, Venus—and support me,“ I said.

“Nako Celine pasalamat ka talaga mahal kita at susuportahan parin kita sa kabaliwan mo basta ipangako mo na hindi ka masasaktan physically ah.”

I look at her and smile, feeling so lucky to have her as my best friend. “I love you,” I say, puckering my lips to send her a flying kiss.

“Yeah, I love you more,” she says, blowing a kiss—and I catch it, smiling.

CHAPTER 6 : GIFT

Kinabukasan, habang naglalakad ako sa paligid ng building, napansin kong may grupo ng mga tagahanga ng Cntrl S na nag-uusap. Naging curious ako dahil tungkol sa kanila ang pinag-uusapan, kaya nilapitan ko sila at nagtanong ako sa isang babae.

“Ahm, hello, may I know what you’re talking about?” I asked. Buti na lang mabait ’yung natanungan ko—she smiled at me.

“Fan ka rin ba? Bago ka lang noh?” Nakangiting tanong nito sa akin. I nodded at her as an answer. “Well, pinagmemeetingan kasi namin ang about sa birthday ni OT’r” she said. OT’r?

“Pardon, who’s having a birthday again?” Paglilinaw ko, kasi hindi ko masyadong na-gets kung sino ’yung tinutukoy niya.

“OT’r—The Great Oliver Tagan Ramirez. Birthday niya na kasi next week, exact date ng opening ng foundation natin,” she said. My eyes literally widened at what she just said. Birthday ni Tagan next week.

“Thank you, ah. I better go—nice meeting a co-fan,” nagpaalam na ako sa kanya at umalis na rin agad doon. How come hindi ko agad inalam ang mga simpleng details na ganito tungkol kay Tagan? You suck, Celine!

Pagpasok ko sa room, agad kong kinuha ang phone ko sa bag at nag-scroll sa Cntrl S fan page. Kailangan kong mag-isip ng puwedeng iregalo sa kanya.

Days passed by—apat na araw na ang lumipas, pero wala pa rin akong maisip na magandang regalo para sa kanya. And during those four days, I still kept giving him treats sa practice room nila.

Gaya ngayon, I’m on my way to the audio room para mag-iwan ng banana cake para kay Tagan. Pagkasilip ko, wala pang tao sa loob kaya mabilis akong pumuslit at iniwan ang box ng banana cake sa loob. I was about to leave the room when the door suddenly opened.

At lumitaw sa harapan ko si Tagan. I froze and shivered automatically the moment I saw him standing there—naka-black jeans lang at black hoodie, with his guitar slung on his back. His eyes were intensely locked on me.

I can’t even move or talk right now because of his cold presence. Parang tumigil ang pagdaloy ng dugo sa buong katawan ko. “Can you stop,” He said something pero hindi ko naintindihan agad dahil sobra akong nawawala sa sarili ngayon.

“Pardon?” I managed to ask.

“I said, can you stop this nonsense,” medyo nilakasan niya ang boses at tuluyang pumasok sa loob ng audio room kaya napa-atras ako ng konti.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, confused.

“Ang sabi ko, stop giving me those shitty food and treats, kasi I don’t fucking need or want them!” Iritang sambit niya sa akin habang tinitingnan ako ng masama. Sa uri ng tingin na ibinabati niya sa akin, parang sobrang laki ng kasalanan ko sa kanya, its freaking the hell out of me.

Galit ba siya sa akin? Mali ba ang ginagawa kong treats? Panget ba?

“Ano kasi, Tagan… g-gusto ko lang naman na matikman mo yung gawa ko,” I managed to arch a small smile, hoping to ease the tension between us.

I saw his jaw clenched and his hands grip tightly. Napalunok ako sa takot dahil mukhang nagalit siya sa sinabi ko.

“Well, to tell you, I don’t fucking want it, so will you get the fuck—” hindi niya natapos ang sasabihin nang dumating si Aiden at Tove dito sa loob. Mukhang nagulat sila na andito ako, pero nag-greet pa rin sila sa akin.

“Hi?” Palipat-lipat ang tingin sa amin ni Aiden, parang sinusubukan niyang intindihin ang nangyayari.

“Oh, hello, you’re the Miss Sweet Treats, right?” Nilapitan ako ni Tove at nginitian. I just gave him a small smile kasi hanggang ngayon ramdam ko pa rin ang malamig na tingin sa akin ni Tagan.

“You know what, I like the treats that you send us every day,” said Tove he was so nice, pero hindi ko siya ma-focusan dahil kay Tagan. Tumango-tango naman si Aiden sa sinabi ni Tove at nilagpasan si Tagan upang lumapit sa akin.

I can see from the corner of my eye that Tagan is seated on the chair near them, busy fixing his guitar.

“Oo nga, dahil sa mga dinadala mo dito, nakakatipid kami ng allowance, hahaha,” umakbay si Aiden sa akin kaya medyo nailing ako, pero smiling pa rin ako sa kanila.

“You know what, why not make us some cupcakes this coming opening of the foundation? If gusto mo lang, para may handa tayo para sa birthday ni Tagan, hahaha,” sabi ni Aiden habang tumitingin kami lahat kay Tagan.

Waiting for his reaction.

“Ano sa tingin mo, Gan?” tanong ni Aiden sa kanya.

“That’s a great idea, dude,” sambit ni Tove, sumasang-ayon sa sinabi ni Aiden. Tinignan kami ni Tagan, then glanced at me—parang hinahamon niya ako kaya napalunok ako sa kaba.

His side lips curled into a smirk as he said, “Yeah, why not. Can you make a hundred pieces for my birthday? I want to share it with my fans.” Sarcasm was dripping from his words, I could tell.

A hundred pieces? Kaya ko ba ’yun?

“Yeah sure,” I gladly answered kahit na ang totoo ay nag aalangan ako. Will I able to make that on time? “Yes aasahan ka namin sa Monday…ahm what’s your name again?” tanong ni Aiden sa akin.

I glance at Tagan before answering Aiden, remember my name Tagan. “Yashashree Celine Amora,” I said. “Yashashree?” tanong ni Aiden halatang nawiweirdohan siya sa first name ko.

“Yashashree means the Goddess of Success, right?” tanong ni Tove.

Tumango ako kasi tama siya — iyon nga ang ibig sabihin ng first name ko.

“Wow, kaya pala! Hahaha, nice to meet you, Celine,” sabi niya. Nahihiyang nakipagkamay ako kay Tove at Aiden.

“Alright, it’s settled. I’ll expect your cupcakes on Monday, and you know where to find us,” sabi ni Aiden. Tumango ako bago sila nagpaalam at umalis.

“I’d better go,” I bow my head at them and walk through the door, I glance at Tagan who is busy with his Guitar.

Give me a glance, please, Tagan. Wala — hopia. Hindi siya gumalaw ng kahit kaunti at tumingin lang sa akin. Kaya pagkasarado ko ng pinto, napahinga na lang ako ng malalim.

I was about to walk away nang marinig ko silang nag-uusap sa loob, kaya umatras ako at tinangkang makinig.

“Hoy, bro, siya nga pala, ano gusto mong regalo para mabili ko na? Sige na, bring it on,” sabi ni Aiden.

“I want the Limited Edition Album of One Rock Ok Band,” narinig kong sagot ni Tagan.

Is one rock ok band??? “What, yung The Beginning ba ’yon tinutukoy mo?” Hindi makapaniwala na tanong ni Tove sa kanya. “Shit pare, ang mahal ’non wala bang mas mura dyan album ng street boys, ayaw mo?” Aiden said.

“Hahaha ang gago mo talaga Aiden, but seriously Tagan hindi birong makabili non ngayon for sure ubos na ’yon ngayon.” It’s Tove.

“Yeah, I know,” narinig ko ang lungkot sa boses ni Tagan. I think he really wants to have that Album, I have to find one for him.

Tumakbo na ako pabalik ng classroom naming and search that kind of Album, please give me one.

“Hoy, anong ginagawa mo dyan, ah?” Halos tumalon ako sa upuan nang biglang sumulpot si Venus sa tabi ko.

“Ano ba, wag ka ngang nanggugulat dyan!” Suway ko sa kanya habang ipagpapatuloy ko ang pag-scroll sa internet.

“Eh ano nga kasi yang hinahanap mo dyan?” she ask. “Naghahanap ako ng Limited Edition na Album ng One Rock Ok band, yong sa japanese band,” sagot ko sa kanya habang seryosong pinipindot ang cellphone ko.

“You mean ‘The Beginning’ Album ng One rock ok band? What the f*ck, that’s so mahal, Celine,” I can hear the disbelief in her voice when she said that.

“Yes!!” I shouted and jumped when I saw one in an online shop from Japan.

“Hoy, umupo ka nga. Tignan mo, pinagtitinginan ka na ng mga classmates natin,” hinila niya ako paupo at tinignan ang cellphone ko.

Her eyes widened “Puta—.” I covered her mouth kasi mukhang sasabog na siya ng curse.

“Shhhh,” I gestured, pinapakita ang aking daliri sa labi para sabihan siyang wag maingay.

Tinanggal niya ang kamay ko sa bibig niya at huminga ng malalim.

“Grabe, Celine! Ang mahal niyan. Don’t tell me you’re going to buy it,” sabi niya.

Pinakita ko sa kanya ang screen ng phone ko.

“Yes, I did,” sagot ko. Agad niyang tinakpan ang bibig niya at hindi makapaniwala habang tinitignan ang screen ng cellphone ko.

“This is my gift for Tagan I hope he’ll like it,” kinikilig na sabi ko habang inaayos ang pagship ng binili kong album sa japan.

“Ang lala, Celine,” yumuko na lang si Venus sa desk niya at hinayaan na lang ako sa ginagawa ko.

Hihingi na lang ako ng pandagdag kay Kuya para sa album na ’to. Yeah, I know it’s too pricey, pero gusto ko talagang magkaroon si Tagan nito.

Okay, it’s settled—madedeliver na ito sa akin this Saturday.

Yes! Excited na ako para sa Monday!

CHAPTER 7 : DO YOU STILL LIKE ME NOW?

It’s already Sunday, and I just received the package yesterday—yung album na ireregalo ko kay Tagan. Right after, nilagay ko na ito sa isang matte black paper bag para ready na for tomorrow.

Buti na lang dinagdagan ni Kuya Francine ang pera ko, kaya nabayaran ko agad on time.

Now I’m here at the grocery, bumibili ng ingredients para sa cupcakes na kakailanganin ko bukas para sa birthday ni Tagan.

Habang naglalakad ako, I noticed someone — it’s Aiden. He’s with a nerdy-looking girl.

Pero hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at nagpatuloy ako sa pagbili ng mga kailangan ko.

After buying everything, dumiretso agad ako sa bahay—at to be exact, diretso ako sa kitchen para masimulan na ang paggawa ng one hundred pieces na cupcakes para sa mga fans ni Tagan.

“Kaya mo ’to, Celine. Fighting!” I cheered myself on before tying my hair and starting with the first batch of cupcakes.

I started at 3 PM, and now it’s already 11 PM. Tulog na si Mama sa taas, pero nasa kalahati pa lang ako—kailangan ko pa ng 40 pieces to complete the hundred.

Uminom ako ng kape at nagpatuloy sa pagbake.

“I’m sittin’ eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind,” I sang softly, trying to keep myself awake and energized habang nagbe-bake pa rin.

(I don’t wanna live forever-Zayn and Taylor Swift)

I didn’t notice the time hanggang sa natapos ko na ang hundred pieces of cupcakes. Time check — it’s already 3 AM. Inayos ko na lang agad ang mga cupcake, then umakyat na ako sa kwarto.

“I need sleep… kahit four hours lang,” I whispered to myself, and before I knew it, hinila na ako ng antok.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock — it’s 7 AM. Agad akong tumayo mula sa kama at lumabas ng kwarto.

I rushed to the kitchen to check on my cupcakes.

Well it’s safe and sound naman kaya nakahinga ako ng maluwag.

“Hey, darling, bakit natulog ka nang suot pa rin ang apron mo?” Natatawang sabi ni Mommy pagpasok niya sa kusina.

Napatingin ako sa sarili ko — tama nga si Mommy. Suot ko pa rin hanggang ngayon ang apron ko.

Nakalimutan kong tanggalin bago matulog. Hay nako, Celine…

“I’ll take a shower na, Mommy,” sabi ko shyly, tapos umakyat na ako para maligo.

Birthday na ni Tagan ngayon. Hindi na ako makapaghintay na ibigay sa kanya yung regalo ko.

Mabilis akong nag-ayos at sinakay ko na rin sa kotse yung mga cupcakes at regalo ko para kay Tagan.

Since opening day ng foundation, hindi ako naka-uniform. Naka-pink halter top ako, paired with high-waisted jeans at plain white heels. Naglagay din ako ng white jacket para hindi masyadong mapansin yung halter top ko.

Pagdating ko sa school, tinawagan ko si Venus para tulungan ako sa cupcakes at dalhin namin ito sa audio room.

Madaming tao sa labas kaya medyo nahirapan kaming pumasok, pero buti na lang nakita kami ni Aiden at siya ang nagbukas ng pinto para sa amin.

“Wow, totoo ngang hundred pieces!” Hindi makapaniwalang sabi ni Aiden habang tinutulungan akong magbuhat ng cupcake Tove also come to help Venus.

“Wow, sobrang salamat. Celine.” Tove thank me, but I just look around and saw Tagan nakakalabas lang ng restroom.

“Happy birthday.” I greet him pero nilagpasan niya lang ako at tinignan ang mga cupcake sa lamesa.

“How much?” tanong niya, tumutukoy sa cupcakes na ginawa ko.

“Hindi, walang bayad ’yan. Para sa inyo ’to,” sagot ko.

“Luh, sobrang bait mo naman, Celine,” sabi ni Aiden. Nginitian ko lang sila at yumuko nang konti dahil medyo nahihiya ako. “Ah siya nga pala Tagan para sayo.” Nilapitan ko siya at inabot sa kanya ang hawak kong paper bag.

Kinuha ito ni Tagan at binuksan, I can see na natigilan siya ng marealize ang nasa loob. “How did you get this?” He asks.

“Bakit pre ano yan?” tanong ni Aiden sa kanya, kung kaya’t tuluyan niya nang nilabas ito sa paper bag only for us to see what’s inside.

I heard Tove and Aiden gasp when they see the album, may mali ba? “What the f*ck!” Aiden curse.

“Celine that’s too much!” Hindi makapaniwala na sabi ni Tove sa akin. Nginitian ko lang sila at hinintay ang sasabihin ni Tagan.

Seryoso niya itong tinitingnan na para bang sobrang halaga nito sa kanya. I feel happy seeing him appreciating my efforts for him.

Binitawan niya ito sa lamesa at tumayo sa harapan ko. “Why are you doing this?” he coldly asked. Napalunok ako at nilabanan ang tingin niya.

“Because, I like you.” I almost whispered that but I’m sure he heard that.

He smirk at me bago ako nilagpasan at ikuha ang box ng cupcake sa lamesa and went to the door binigay niya ang 50 pieces ng cupcake sa mga fans sa labas.

He went back to the remaining 50 pieces on the table. We were just watching his move when I almost gasped loudly as—

“Oyy, gago pare!” Aiden and Tove shouted in surprise as Tagan suddenly pushed the boxes of cupcakes off the table, and they all spilled onto the floor.

Everything shattered right before my eyes.

He threw away half of the cupcakes I made, and I was frozen, unable to move or react to what he did.

Sinipa-sipa niya pa ito para lalong masira at walang matira sa mga cupcake, lahat kaming apat ay hindi makapaniwala sa ginawa niya. We were just watching him as he did it.

I couldn’t feel anything—I was just completely shocked. I thought he would come over to me, but I was wrong. He bypassed me. I turned around to see what he was going to do next… but I wish I hadn’t.

Dahil kinuha niya yung album na regalo ko, …and threw it straight into the trash bin right in front of me.

Parang nawalan ako ng kaluluwa sa nakita ko. I spent so much money, effort, and time on those cupcakes.

He smirked and stood right in front of me. “Do you still like me now?” He said, his voice dripping with malice.

Hindi ako makapagsalita. I just let out a breath, and tears started to fall as I looked at him. But he just grinned, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. “Yes,” I answered, even though my heart was breaking.

“Celine, tara na!” Madiin na sabi ni Venus at hinila ako paalis ng Audio room.

When we stepped out the door, all the fans were staring at me and whispering among themselves, but I didn’t have time to think about it.

All I felt was sadness and pain. Why did he do that?

It hurts so much, Tagan.

CHAPTER 8 : AMORA

Umuwi ako ng bahay dahil sa nangyari. Masakit talaga makita na basta-basta niyang tinapon ang lahat ng effort ko.

Hindi ko siya maintindihan—ano bang mali sa ginagawa ko? Bakit siya galit?

Nagkulong ako buong maghapon sa kwarto ko. Hindi rin ako kumain ng tanghalian kasi wala talaga akong gana.

Umalis ako sa realidad—nag-isip lang at umiyak sa loob ng kwarto buong araw, hanggang sa hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog ako.

Nagising ako ng 7 ng umaga pero hindi ako gumalaw sa kama. Pinili ko na lang ipikit muli ang mga mata at bumalik sa pagtulog. Wala akong ganang pumasok ngayon.

Peace is what I want right now. Ayaw ko munang isipin si Tagan, but

biglang ring ng phone ko sa side table. Inabot ko siya at tiningnan ko yung caller—si Venus.

“Hello, hindi ako papasok—”

“Dean wants to talk to you.”

Naputol niya ako sa pagsabi niyan. What? Bakit ako kakausapin ng Dean?

Umupo ako para makapagusap ng maigi sa phone.

“Bakit? Anong ginawa ko?” tanong ko sa kanya.

“Hindi ko rin alam, Celine. Basta pumunta ka na dito, hinahanap ka niya.”

I could sense na hindi maganda ang tono ni Venus kaya agad akong tumayo sa kama at tumakbo papunta sa banyo.

Agad akong inayos pagkatapos maligo. Suot ko yung Mondrian shirt namin, pinares ko with white high-waist shorts at white high-cut Converse shoes.

Kinuha ko ang bag at ID ko, tapos mabilis akong tumakbo palabas ng bahay. Naabutan ko si Mommy sa garden kaya kinulit ko siya ng gesture na aalis ako.

Tumakbo ako papunta sa kotse, at mabilis na pinapagana ni Kuya Gaston ang sasakyan.

Pagdating ko sa university, nakita ko agad si Venus sa harap ng pinto ni Dean. Kinabahan ako pag makita yung pintong iyon, pero na-manage kong kumalma. Pakiramdam ko, hindi maganda ang mangyayari.

“Venus!” tawag ko sa kanya habang lumalapit.

“Hindi ko alam, pero pinapatawag ka ni Dean. Tara na sa loob,” hinila niya ako papasok.

Pagpasok namin sa room, nakita ko ang dean namin na nakaupo sa kanyang upuan, ngumiti siya sa amin.

“Miss Amora, buti naman at nandito ka na,” sabi niya.

“Good Morning po dean.” sabay na pagbati namin ni Venus sa dean.

“Have a seat girls.” Pinaupo niya kami sa harap ng table niya and lean his hands on the table.

“Bakit niyo po ako pinatawag?” I asked.

“Miss Amora alam mo naman ang about sa Ms. And Mrs. Mondrian diba?” I nodded slowly and try to understand kung ano ang gusto niyang iparating.

“I want you to participate in that contest. Ikaw ang magiging representative ng Senior High.”

Literal na bumagsak yung panga ko sa sinabi niya.

Ako? Sasali sa contest na yun? Hindi pwede.

“Dean, hindi ko yata magandang idea ’to,” tumingin ako kay Venus kasi alam kong nagulat din siya sa sinabi ni Dean.

“Hindi. Gusto kong ikaw ang maging representative namin, sa ayaw mo man o sa gusto mo,” utos ni Dean, kahit alam niyang laban ito sa akin.

“Kung si Celine po ang representative sa babae, Dean, sino po sa lalake?” tanong ni Venus kay Dean.

Tama, sino naman ang makakasama ko?

“Si Mr. Ramirez,” sagot ni Dean.

“Ramirez, Dean? As in Oliver Tagan Ramirez po ba ’yon?” tanong ni Venus na halos hindi makapaniwala. Ako rin, hindi ako makapaniwala—si Tagan?

“Yes, Miss Yap, siya nga ’yon,” paliwanag ni Dean sa magulo naming isip. Oh my God, siya ang magiging partner ko?

I think it’s a good opportunity. Baka sa laban na ’to, maging paraan ito para mapalapit ako kay Tagan. Baka hindi na siya magalit sakin kung makilala niya ako at makasama ko siya. Tama!

May chance pa ako ulit. “Sige po, Dean. I’ll participate sa contest na ’to,” desidido kong sabi kay Dean, kahit halata sa mukha niya na nagulat siya sa sagot ko—kanina parang ayaw ko pa, ngayon sobra na ang gusto ko.

“Then it’s settle you’ll start your practice mamayang hapon sa Dance club room doon kayo magpractise ni Mr.Ramirez ok, you may go” tumayo na kami ni Venus at nagpaalam kay dean bago lumabas sa office niya.

“Gaga ka ba? Celine, si Tagan ang makakasama mo. Hindi ka pa ba nadala sa ginawa niya kahapon?” naiinis na sabi ni Venus.

“Ayon nga ’yon, Venus. Pero nakikita ko ’to bilang chance para hindi na siya magalit sakin. Malay mo, pag nagkasama kami at nagkakilala ng maayos, hindi na siya maging cold at rude sakin, diba? I’ll show him na seryoso ako sa nararamdaman ko, at handa akong gawin ang lahat para mapansin niya ’yung feelings ko.”

“Oh my Celine, ganyan ka na ba ka lunod kay Tagan grabe na talaga, pagkatapos ng ginawa niya kahapon tapos ngayon parang wala lang go lang.” she’s already pissed off I can say.

Pero sinuklian ko nalang siya ng isang ngiti. “Wala eh I want him to see me Venus gusto ko siya” I whisper and hold her hands para hindi na siya magalit sa kin.

Venus took a deep breath before she hugged me.

“Basta mag-ingat ka, Celine. Liking someone like him can lead you to so many disappointments.”

Tumango ako habang niyayakap ko siya pabalik.

“I know that Venus but I’m ready.” Tinignan ko siya with a genuine smile para maramdaman niyang Ok lang sakin ang lahat.

“Ayaw ko lang na masaktan ka Celine, but I’ll still support you kung ’yan talaga ang gusto mo at kung siya talaga ang gusto nito, hmf!” She pointed at my chest “Ang kulit kasi nito eh.” Tinulak tulak niya pa ako habang tinuturo ang puso ko.

I just laugh at her and hinala na siya papunta sa cooking club room, doon muna kami tatambay dahil wala namang klase ngayon cou’z it’s Foundation month here in Mondrian kaya puro activities lang meron.

“Oh hindi ba kayo magenjoy sa mga booth sa labas?” sabi samin ni Miss Lacson pagpasok namin sa loob ng cooking club.

“Miss we have a month para ma enjoy yan sa ngayon tutulungan ka nalang namin dito” sabi ko sa kanya and seat beside her, she’s doing a custard rolls siguro ito yong para sa Music Department na nirequest nila samin.

“Tulungan ka nalang muna namin miss” Venus said and wear her apron.

“Wow that’s a good idea kailangan ko nga kayo for this hahaha” miss L handed me the other batch of the custard roll at pinalagyan ng mga cream sa loob. With this medyo nakalimutan ko yong sakit ng ginawa ni Tagan kahapon and now I’m looking forward to our competition together.

Alam niya na kaya na ako ang makakapartner niya?

---

Tagan

“I’ll expect your participation Mr. Ramirez, kayong dalawa ni Miss Amora.” dean said.

“Yeah sure”, I turn back and walk out of that toxic room.

“Tsk Amora.”

CHAPTER 9 : CLUMSY

“Well, Miss Amora, meron pa naman tayong one week preparation para sa contest, kaya don’t panic, okay?” Miss Kristy said, trying to cheer me up, dahil ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang kaba sa pagpayag ko sa gusto ni Dean.

Naisip ko tuloy, I’m not used to having many people’s attention. How will I cope with this contest?

Andito kami ngayon sa dance club room para turuan kami ng mga gagawin sa contest at kung ano ang mga dapat naming malaman about the core of the contest.

Ako pa lang ang nandito. Wala pa si Tagan, kaya medyo kinakabahan din ako dahil baka magalit siya kapag nakita niya ako dito. But I still prepared a Japanese cheesecake for him.

Gusto ko pa rin siyang bigyan ng treats.

“Stand up na, Miss Amora. I’ll teach you how to walk with these heels,” tinaas ni Coach Milan ang 6-inch heels sa harap ko.

Hindi ako sanay sa ganito kataas. “Coach, wala po bang mas mababa diyan?” I asked, but Coach Milan just pulled me up from my seat and made me stand in the center with him.

“Mababa pa nga ’to, Celine, kaya madali lang ’to. Promise, you can handle this. Go, suotin mo na,” he said, handing me the heels.

Wala akong choice kundi isuot iyon. Umupo ako sa sahig para masuot ko nang maayos.

But the door opened and Tagan appeared in front of us. Agad tumaas ang tingin ko sa kanya.

He was wearing straight-cut pants with a striped design, a simple navy blue Adidas shirt, and black Vans shoes. Dala niya rin ang guitar niya.

“Oh, handsome Mr. Ramirez, andito ka na pala. Come on, let’s start the practice,” agad lumapit sa kanya si Coach Milan at hinila siya sa tabi ko. Kinuha naman ni Miss Kristy ang guitar niya at inilapag sa table beside my bag.

“Celine, tayo na diyan,” utos sa akin ni Coach.

Ngayon ko lang na-realize na kanina pa pala ako nakasalampak sa sahig, kaya mabilis akong tumayo.

Magkatabi na kami ngayon ni Tagan, but he was just staring straight at the mirror wall, not even giving me a glance.

“Hi,” I tried to greet him, pero parang wala siyang narinig kaya yumuko na lang ako.

“Yeah, that’s right, Mr. Ramirez. You’re doing great,” puri ni Coach kay Tagan habang rumarampa siya mag-isa, gaya ng tinuro niya.

I was amazed at him kasi, no joke, ang galing niya. He was already walking like a pro model kahit kanina lang kami tinuruan. Ganito ba talaga siya ka-flexible sa lahat ng bagay?

He can do great things kahit ngayon niya lang natutunan. Was he always this dreamy? He’s smart, talented, handsome, and surely my type. Oh, how I wish he would like me.

“Hoy, Miss Amora, ikaw na. Kanina ka pa tulala diyan,” natauhan ako nang kinalabit ako ni Miss Kristy. Lahat sila ngayon ay nakatingin sa akin kaya agad akong tumayo sa hiya.

Lumapit ako kay Coach Milan sa tabi ni Tagan and positioned myself beside him.

“Okay, you will ramp at the same time, like a couple model. Ganon, okay?” umalis si Coach sa pagitan namin kaya ngayon magkatabi na kami.

He stood in front of us and watched us walk.

Medyo hindi pa rin ako sanay sa heels na suot ko kaya nag-aalangan akong maglakad.

Nasa kalagitnaan na kami ng ramp nang bigla akong mawalan ng balance dahil sa heels, and I was about to fall when Tagan stepped behind me. Sa dibdib niya ako napasandal.

Nang magdikit ang katawan namin, bigla akong kinabahan at parang may kuryenteng dumaloy sa katawan ko.

Tinaas ko ang tingin ko sa kanya. He was also looking at me, his hands supporting my waist.

“Thank yo—”

I was about to thank him when he suddenly let go of me, letting me fall to the floor. Napasigaw ako nang tumama ang kamay ko sa sahig. Hindi maganda ang pagkakatukod ko kaya sumakit agad ito.

Then nakita kong lumabas si Tagan, kaya agad akong tumayo para habulin siya.

“Tagan, sandali!” Hindi siya tumigil sa paglalakad kaya mas binilisan ko hanggang sa mahila ko ang t-shirt niya sa likod.

“What the fuck!” singhal niya bago niya ako hinarap.

“Sorry… may nagawa ba akong mali?” I asked.

His eyes were so cold when he focused them on mine.

“Can you just stop getting near me?” he said.

“Tagan, I like you. Please give me a chance to prove myself to you… please.” Naglakas-loob na ako. I really want him so bad.

“You’re not my type,” madiin niyang sabi bago ako talikuran.

“TAGAN, TELL ME WHAT’S YOUR TYPE THEN!” sigaw ko, pero hindi na niya ako pinansin.

I sighed before going back to the dance room. I’m not his type, but he’s my type — so I won’t give up.

I won’t give up on you, Tagan.

“Ano na naman bang nangyari diyan sa kamay mo, Celine?” sabi ni Venus habang nilalagyan ng ointment ang palad ko na namamaga na dahil sa nangyari kanina.

“Wala, natumba lang ako kanina. Alam mo na… hahaha,” I faked a laugh to lessen the worry on her face.

“Ang sabihin mo, lagi ka nang nagkakapasa simula nang magpakabaliw ka diyan kay Tagan,” she rolled her eyes while mentioning his name.

“Grabe ka naman. Hindi naman. I’m just clumsy,” pagpapalusot ko.

“Clumsy my ass, Celine. Ngayon ka lang naging clumsy sa buong buhay mo. Ang tawag diyan, Tagan’s effect!” dahan-dahan niyang kinakalat ang ointment sa palad ko habang sinasabi iyon.

“Hahaha,” tumawa na lang ako para hindi na niya sisihin si Tagan.

“So, kamusta pala ang practice niyo? Kaya ba?” tanong ni Venus.

I nodded. “Kakayanin. Siyempre, andon si Tagan.”

Venus rolled her eyes again. She really gets pissed whenever I mention him.

“Puro ka na lang Tagan.”

“Venus, what if I confess to him during the contest? Sa tingin mo papayag siya?” Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at tiningnan siya sa mata.

Venus frowned. “Gaga, ano ka, lalaki? Tigilan mo nga ako, Celine. ’Wag mong gagawin ’yan.”

Umayos na lang ulit ako ng upo dahil sa sinabi niya.

Paano ba kita maaabot, Tagan?

CHAPTER 10 : VOICE

“Kuya, do you think I can do it?” I asked while we were talking through Skype in the middle of the night.

“Syempre naman, yash. Kaya mo ’yan. You’re beautiful and smart, I’m sure you’ll win that contest.” Kuya tried to cheer me up through his tone.

“Ahm, kuya… I have something I want to share.” Hinawakan ko ang throw pillow sa tabi ko at kinukurot-kurot iyon para hindi ako kabahan sa sasabihin ko.

“What is it? Tell me,” kuya said.

“Ahm… I have—”

“You have what?”

“ilikeacertainboyinschool,” mabilis kong sabi. I’m so nervous right now, baka kasi magalit si kuya.

Nakita ko sa screen na nag-cross arms si kuya at tinignan ako nang seryoso. Did he get what I said?

“Who is it then?” My lips twitched at his question. Paano niya agad naintindihan?

I said it so fast, how come?

“Ah… hehe, he’s a band guitarist in school.”

“Is he good?”

“Good on what, kuya? In playing guitar? Yes, he’s spectacular!” pagmamalaki ko kay Tagan.

“Ang ibig kong sabihin, is he nice to you?” he asked.

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. “Ahm… yeah.”

“He’s not nice then.”

Bakit ba kilalang-kilala ako ni kuya? I can’t even lie to him.

I pouted while looking at him.

“He’s not nice, but you like him that much? Siya ba ang binilhan mo ng limited edition na album?”

Unti-unti akong nagtago sa unan.

“Well, wala naman akong magagawa. It’s natural na magkagusto ka sa isang tao, but I want you to choose the right guy, Celine. Okay?”

“Yes, kuya. I love you. You’re my favorite brother talaga.”

“Stupid, ako lang naman kasi ang kuya mo. Wala nang iba,” he chuckled.

“Ay oo nga pala, hahaha,” I joked.

---

Kinabukasan, pagkatapos ng klase ko, dumiretso na ako sa practice dahil this time talent naman daw ang ipapractice namin.

“Good afternoon po, Miss Kristy and Coach. May dala po akong cookies,” inabot ko sa kanila ang paper bag na dala ko.

“Wow, thank you, Celine,” sabi nila, at ngumiti lang ako.

Then lumapit ako kay Tagan na tahimik na nakaupo sa gilid.

“Tagan, cookies para sa’yo.” I raised my hand with the cookie box para iaabot sa kanya, pero tinignan niya lang iyon at tumayo, nilagpasan ulit ako like I was nothing.

Heavy sigh again, Celine. Nilagay ko na lang ang cookies sa tabi ng bag niya. Baka mamaya kunin niya.

“Oh, tamang-tama, andiyan na kayooooo!” napalingon ako sa sigaw ni Coach at nakita kong pumasok sina Aiden at Tove, greeting everyone inside.

Bakit sila andito?

“Celine, tara dito,” the coach gestured for me to come.

“Wow, Celine, ikaw pala ang partner ni Gan. Nice,” sabi ni Tove nang makalapit ako. I just smiled.

“Sila ang makakatulong niyo sa talent niyo, Celine, and you’re going to sing.”

My eyes literally widened.

Me? Singing?

No, I can’t.

“Ah, coach, hindi po ako marunong kumanta,” I said.

“Celine, walang taong hindi marunong kumanta. You’re going to sing with them. At huwag kang mag-alala, Tove will guide you,” hinawakan ni Coach ang balikat namin ni Tove.

“That’s right, ako bahala sa’yo,” malambing na sabi ni Tove.

I remembered his voice back in the club, sobrang ganda. Paano ko siya sasabayan? He’s too good. Baka masira ko lang performance niya.

“Let’s try,” hinila ako ni Coach kasama si Tove sa gitna. Pumwesto si Aiden sa drum set at ganon din si Tagan sa gilid ko.

“Ito ang kakantahin niyo,” inabot ni Coach ang dalawang kopya ng lyrics.

Pagkatingin ko, nakahinga ako nang maayos dahil alam ko ang kantang ito.

“Do you know the song?” bulong ni Tove. I nodded and he smiled. “Great.”

“Tsk.” Napalingon ako kay Tagan dahil suminghal siya.

“Okay, try to sing it, Celine and Tove,” sabi ni Coach.

Tumango kami.

Nakita kong nilingon ni Tove si Aiden bago ito mag-countdown, and they started playing.

I was shaking. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin, pero nang lumingon ako kay Tagan, bigla akong nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob.

I started to sing.

Stuck with You — Ariana Grande & Justin Bieber

(lyrics)

Napatingin ako kay Tagan sa reflection ng salamin sa harapan namin. He was staring at me while playing his guitar. Our gaze met and I felt butterflies in my stomach kaya agad akong umiwas ng tingin at kay Tove tumingin.

(turn ni Tove)

Tove was smiling at me while singing. I can’t lie, he looks so handsome while singing.

(duet part)

Nang matapos kaming kumanta, lahat ng tao sa loob ay nakatitig lang sa amin.

Bakit? May mali ba sa ginawa ko?

“Ahh!” napatakip ako sa tenga ko nang bigla silang nagsigawan, while Tove just laughed beside me.

I glanced at Tagan in the mirror and saw him staring at me, pero nang mapansin niyang nakatingin ako, sinamaan niya lang ako ng tingin at tumingin sa guitar niya.

“Oh my, Celine, you’re so good!” nagulat ako nang yakapin ako ni Coach.

Napatingin ako kay Miss Kristy at binigyan niya ako ng thumbs up.

“Ang ganda ng boses mo, Celine,” sabi ni Tove.

“Hindi ah, natakpan lang ng sayo kaya akala mo maganda, hehehe.”

“No, Celine. I heard your voice, it’s amazing. Why are you hiding it?” sabi ni Coach.

“Tagan, ano sa tingin mo? Ganda ng boses ni Celine, ’no?” tanong ni Aiden.

I waited for his answer.

“It’s not that beautiful though. Tss.” sabi niya bago lumabas ng room.

I just pouted and watched him walk away.

“Don’t believe him, Celine. Maganda ang boses mo,” nakangiting sabi ni Tove.

My voice is useless kung hindi rin naman nagagandahan si Tagan… hmf.

CHAPTER 11 : COOKIES

Kinabukasan, maaga akong pumunta sa dance room para mag-practice. Gusto kong maging maganda ang performance namin para mabilib si Tagan.

I want to show him that I have a voice.

Pagpasok ko, wala pang tao kaya masaya akong umupo sa isang gilid. Kinuha ko rin ang isang guitar doon at sinubukan ko itong tugtugin.

Marunong naman ako kahit papaano dahil I always sing when I was in elementary, at si Kuya Drake ang nagturo sa akin ng ilang guitar chords.

I was enjoying playing when biglang bumukas ang pinto. Agad akong napatayo at itinago sa likuran ko ang guitar.

It’s Tagan.

Anong ginagawa niya dito nang ganito kaaga? I bit my lips as he entered the room, trying not to feel nervous dahil sobrang lakas ng presence niya.

“Ahm… T-Tagan, bakit ang aga mo?” tanong ko.

“You. Why are you so early?” balik niyang tanong.

“Gusto ko kasing mag-practice,” sabi ko. Tumango lang siya at umupo sa kabilang gilid ng room, malayo sa akin.

“Ah, Tagan, may dala pala akong cupcake para sa’yo. Masarap ’to, blueberry cupcake. Sure akong magugustuhan mo, here try m—”

“Can you just shut up for once?”

Napahinto ako. Hindi na ako lumapit pa dahil baka lalo lang siyang magalit.

Umupo na lang ako at tinuloy ang pagtugtog ng guitar.

I was peacefully playing when he suddenly spoke.

“Wrong.”

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Ako ba ang kausap niya? Hindi naman siya nakatingin sa akin, kaya inisip kong baka sarili niya ang kausap niya.

Tinuloy ko lang ang ginagawa ko.

“Wrong.”

Hindi ko pa rin siya pinansin.

Hanggang sa bigla na lang siyang tumayo sa harapan ko. Inangat ko ang tingin ko sa kanya.

“I said wrong. You’re wrong,” sabi niya habang itinuturo ang mga kamay ko.

“Huh?” naguguluhan kong tanong.

“Mali ang ginagawa mo.”

“Ang alin?”

“Tsk.”

Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang umupo sa tabi ko at hinawakan ang kamay ko. He guided my fingers to the strings while his other hand led mine to strum the guitar. Biglang tumama ang tono ng pagtugtog ko, ’yun pala ang mali kanina.

So iyon pala ang tinutukoy niya.

Namula ako habang nakatingin sa magkahawak naming kamay.

Parang may kuryenteng dumaloy sa katawan ko dahil sa hawak niya.

“This is the right way of playing the guitar,” sabi niya bago binitawan ang kamay ko.

I glanced at him, waiting for him to move away, pero hindi siya umalis sa tabi ko.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang lalabas na sa dibdib ko ang puso ko sa sobrang lakas ng tibok nito.

“Your heart sounds like a music beat,” he chuckled.

Lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko nang makita ko siyang tumawa.

Tinitigan ko lang siya hanggang sa humarap siya sa akin.

“What?” tanong niya.

“You’re smiling,” sabi ko.

I can’t even breathe dahil sa ngiti sa labi niya.

Lalong lumaki ang mata ko nang lumapit siya, sobrang lapit sa mukha ko na nararamdaman ko ang hininga niya sa pisngi ko.

Pakiramdam ko maduduling na ako sa sobrang lapit namin.

“I’m heartless but I can smile, stupid,” sabi niya bago tumayo at bumalik sa pwesto niya.

Samantalang ako, nanatiling tulala. Hindi ako makagalaw. Ang nagawa ko na lang ay lunukin ang laway ko.

Did he just smile at me?

Oh my… I’m melting.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal nakatitig sa kanya habang busy siya sa pagtugtog ng guitar niya. Nabawi lang ako sa sarili ko nang pumasok sina Aiden at Tove.

“Celine, aga mo ah. Oh ikaw din, Tagan. Anong meron?” tanong ni Aiden habang umuupo sa tabi ni Tagan. Lumapit naman sa akin si Tove.

“Hi Celine, tara practice tayo ng kanta.” Hinawakan niya ang wrist ko at hinila ako sa gitna ng room bago kinuha ang microphone sa mesa.

Inabot niya iyon sa akin kasama ang lyrics.

Dahil maaga pa kami, nagkwentuhan muna kami nila Tove at Aiden matapos ang isang kanta. I enjoyed their company, madali silang pakisamahan. Si Tagan lang ang hindi nakikisali.

Hanggang sa pinilit siya ni Aiden.

“Pare, tara nga dito. Join us. Ang saya ng kwentuhan dito. Nagmumukmok ka diyan sa gilid,” hinila niya si Tagan papalapit sa amin at pinaupo sa harap ko.

I tried to avoid staring at him, pero hindi ko kaya. Every second, napapatingin pa rin ako sa kanya.

Nagkukwentuhan sila habang nakikinig lang ako.

“Celine, ano ’yon?” kinalabit ako ni Tove at tinuro ang box ng cookies sa likuran ko.

“Ah, cookies,” sabi ko sabay sulyap kay Tagan. Nakita ko siyang nakatingin sa box na inabot ko sa kanya kanina.

“Wow, pwede ba kaming manghingi?” biglang tumayo si Aiden at kinuha iyon kahit hindi pa ako sumasagot.

Binuksan niya at kumuha ng isa.

“Hoy, gago, hindi pa nga pumapayag si Celine,” saway ni Tove.

“Ay, sorry,” sabi ni Aiden at kunwari ay idudura ang kinain kaya agad ko siyang pinigilan.

“No, it’s okay. Kainin mo na. Wala rin namang kakain niyan,” sabi ko habang napatingin kay Tagan — this time masama na ang tingin niya sa akin.

May nasabi na naman ba ako?

“Wow, ang sarap mo talaga,” sabi ni Aiden.

Napatigil kaming lahat at sabay-sabay siyang tiningnan.

Masama ang tingin sa kanya nina Tagan at Tove.

“I mean, ang sarap… ng cookies!” nagpanic siyang paliwanag at mabilis na kumain ulit.

Hindi naman ako na-offend dahil alam kong playboy siya, natural lang sa kanya ang ganoong jokes. Pero mukhang hindi natuwa sina Tagan at Tove.

“Oy, gago, joke lang naman!” unti-unting umatras si Aiden.

Tumayo sina Tagan at Tove sa harap niya.

“Sarap pala, ah,” sabi ni Tove bago nila hinabol si Aiden. Naghabulan silang tatlo sa loob ng practice room.

“Hoy, ayoko na! Tigilan niyo na ako!” sigaw ni Aiden.

Tumayo ako pero agad siyang nagtago sa likod ko.

“Joke lang ’yon eh,” sabi niya mula sa likuran ko.

Ngayon nasa harapan ko sina Tagan at Tove, nakangiting nakatingin sa kanya.

Napatingin lang ako kay Tagan habang nakangiti siya, parang hindi siya ’yung Tagan na kilala ko. Mas gwapo siya ngayon dahil genuine ang ngiti niya.

“Ahh!” tumakbo si Aiden palabas habang tumatawang hinabol ng dalawa.

Naiwan akong mag-isa, hindi pa rin makaget-over sa ngiti ni Tagan.

Pakiramdam ko lalo akong nahuhulog sa kanya, lalo na ngayong nakita ko ang soft side niya.

“I think I love you already,” mahina kong sabi habang umuupo.

Tagan… how did you steal my heart without me even noticing?

CHAPTER 12 : STUCK WITH YOU

“Okay guys, paki-retouch na ang make-up ni Celine,” utos ni Coach sa mga make-up artist dito sa backstage.

Ngayon na kasi ang contest, and I’m totally nervous right now.

Extremely nervous.

“Miss Kristy, kinakabahan po ako,” pabulong kong sabi habang hawak ko ang kaliwang kamay niya.

“Don’t be, Celine. Maganda ka at matalino, plus ang ganda pa ng talent niyo mamaya, kaya huwag kang kabahan.” She tried to cheer me up, and I can say it helped a little.

“Celine!!!” napalingon ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Venus. Lumapit siya at inabutan ako ng mineral water.

“Stay hydrated,” sabi niya na parang nag-eendorse, kaya napatawa ako.

“Thank you,” sabi ko.

Lumapit siya sa akin. “Are you sure gagawin mo talaga mamaya ’yon?” she whispered.

“Yes, I’m sure,” desidido kong sagot.

Mamaya, after our talent, I’ll tell everyone my true feelings for Tagan.

“Baliw ka na talaga,” sabi niya. Tumawa na lang ako at nag-focus ulit sa contest.

Nag-start ang contest sa Summer Attire. I was wearing a black one-piece swimsuit with touches of red, habang si Tagan ay naka-red board shorts at black polo na bukas ang buttons, kaya grabe ang tilian ng audience nang rumampa kami sa stage.

Kahit kinakabahan ako, I still tried my best na makasabay sa confidence ni Tagan. Feeling ko sanay na sanay na siya sa ganito. Buti na lang nadadala niya ako — kung hindi, mukha siguro akong tanga doon.

After the swimwear, nagpalit kami ng sportswear. Pinagsuot ako nina Miss Kristy ng volleyball-themed costume, habang si Tagan naman ay basketball.

After the second round, talent portion na agad, kaya nag-ready na kami.

Nang kami na ang susunod, nakatayo kami sa backstage waiting for our call. My hands were shaking dahil sa kaba.

Mahigpit kong hawak ang guitar ko habang pinapakinggan na patapos na ang performance sa stage.

“Don’t be nervous.”

Napatingin ako sa tabi ko nang sumulpot si Tagan. Hindi siya nakatingin sa akin — sa stage lang.

Pero sigurado akong para sa akin ’yon.

I smiled and tried to calm myself. Dahil sa sinabi niya, unti-unting nawala ang kaba ko.

Like what Venus said — Tagan’s effect is dominating my whole system.

“Let’s call our next contestants!” rinig kong sabi ng MC.

Naunang naglakad palabas si Tagan, sumunod kaming tatlo.

Agad kaming pumwesto at sinet ang instruments.

“Ready?” tanong ni Aiden.

Tumango ako. Tinap ni Tove ang balikat ko. Lastly, I glanced at Tagan — cold stare, but the corner of his lips lifted slightly.

That was enough.

We started playing.

(Performance — Stuck With You)

Pagkatapos naming kumanta, nagpalakpakan ang audience. Nag-bow kami at bumaba ng stage.

Papunta na kami sa dressing room nang hilahin ko ang shirt ni Tagan mula sa likod. Tumigil kaming lahat.

Tumigil din sina Tove at Aiden at napatingin sa kamay ko.

“Ahm, Gan, una na kami sa loob ah,” dahilan ni Aiden sabay hila kay Tove, iniwan kaming dalawa.

Binitawan ko ang shirt niya kaya humarap siya sa akin.

“What?” bored niyang tanong.

“You already know that I like you, right?” diretsahan kong sabi.

Tumango siya.

“Now I want you to know that…” napahinto ako habang nakatitig siya sa akin.

My heart was beating so fast.

“That I love you.”

“I already get hundreds of those from fans. What’s the difference?” malamig niyang sagot.

“This one is different because I want you to love me back,” taas-noo kong sabi kahit nanginginig ako sa loob.

“And how will you do that?” he challenged.

“Date me.”

Nakita kong nag-clench ang jaw niya.

“I don’t do dates.” Tatalikod na sana siya nang hawakan ko ang kamay niya.

Huminto siya at tiningnan ang magkahawak naming kamay bago iyon kumalas.

“Give me a chance to prove myself, Tagan,” desperado kong sabi.

“I don’t give a damn.” Tumalikod siya at naglakad.

Tumakbo ako sa harap niya at hinarangan siya.

“What the fuck,” he cursed.

“If I win this contest, date me, Tagan.”

He smirked.

“Do you think you’ll win?”

“I will.”

“Okay then. We’ll date if…” itinuro niya ang noo ko, “YOU WIN.” Tinulak niya iyon nang bahagya kaya napapikit ako.

Pagmulat ko ng mata ko, nakalampas na siya.

“If I win… we’ll date,” bulong ko sa sarili ko.

Please, Lord. Let me win this contest.

Sumunod ako sa dressing room at nag-ready para sa Q&A portion.

Academic questions lang ang tinanong kaya hindi masyadong mahirap. I think I did well.

I need to win.

“We now announce the Third Runner-Up for Miss Mondrian…” sunod-sunod ang announcement habang nakatayo kami sa stage.

“Our Mister Mondrian winner is Mr. Oliver Tagan Ramirez!”

Nagpalakpakan kami habang tinanggap niya ang trophy at sash.

I knew he would win from the very start.

I’m proud of him.

“And now, for Miss Mondrian. The name I call is the winner. The one left will be the First Runner-Up.”

Nanginginig ako habang hawak ang kamay ng katabi kong candidate.

Please…

“And the winner is… Bethany Scott! Congratulations! And our First Runner-Up, Miss Celine Amora.”

Nanlabo ang paningin ko habang inaabot sa akin ang sash at trophy.

I didn’t win.

Napatingin ako kay Tagan sa tabi ng winner — busy siya, hindi man lang ako tiningnan.

Bumaba ako agad ng stage at tumakbo sa backstage.

Nagsimula nang tumulo ang luha ko, kasabay ng kirot sa dibdib ko.

I lost.

And I can’t date Tagan.

Iyon na lang ang chance ko — hindi ko pa nakuha.

You really suck, Celine.

Fuck it.

CHAPTER 13 : LOVE HIM

Hindi ko na hinintay matapos ang buong event. Maaga akong umuwi dahil ayaw ko ring magpakita kay Tagan.

I was too confident to win, but it turned out I lost, the contest and the chance with him.

Nagkulong ako sa kwarto at hindi na kumain ng dinner.

I was busy crying on my bed nang may kumatok sa pinto. Agad kong pinunasan ang mga luha ko bago ito buksan.

Nagsuot pa ako ng sunglasses para hindi makita ang mga mata ko. Binuksan ko nang kaunti ang pinto at nakita si Mommy sa labas.

She smiled when she saw me wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night.

Pinapasok ko siya at umupo kami sa gilid ng kama.

“Tell me what’s the problem, darling,” she said while patting my back.

“Mom… I didn’t win.”

“That’s normal, darling. At least first runner-up ka. It’s not a big deal,” kalmado niyang sabi habang hinahagod ang likod ko.

“No, Mom… I didn’t win the deal,” mahina kong bulong.

“What deal?”

“I had a deal with the man I like. If I win, I’ll get a chance to date him… but I lost, Mommy.” I cried and hugged her.

“Then why not ask him again? Or try to convince him? If you really want him, you’ll find many ways,” she said while hugging me tighter and kissing my head.

“Do you think I should try again, Mom?” tanong ko.

“Yes, darling. Try and try until you reach it. I believe in you.”

After that, nagkwento si Mommy tungkol sa love story nila ni Daddy hanggang sa makatulog ako.

Kinabukasan, pakiramdam ko puno ulit ako ng energy, parang nawala ang sakit kahapon.

Mabilis akong bumaba sa kitchen at nag-bake ng four-season cupcakes para kay Tagan.

Gaya ng sabi ni Mommy — try and try until you reach it.

I’ll reach you, Tagan.

Pagdating ko sa university, pumunta ako sa audio room at naabutan ko sina Tagan na napapalibutan ng fans. Sobrang daming tao kaya napatigil ako.

But those fans won’t stop me.

Lumapit pa rin ako at hinila ang hoodie ni Tagan mula sa likod. Napatingin silang lahat sa akin, pati siya.

I smiled at him. “Please accept my love,” malakas kong sabi sabay abot ng box ng cupcakes.

Wala na akong pake sa tingin ng fans. Gusto ko lang ipakita sa kanya na seryoso ako.

“Don’t believe in love. Sorry,” malamig niyang sagot sabay tulak sa kamay ko. Nabitawan ko ang box at nahulog ang cupcakes sa sahig.

“Tagan!” saway ni Tove, pero hindi siya nakinig at umalis. Hinabol siya nina Aiden at Tove.

Naiwan akong mag-isa kasama ang fans niya.

“Girl, buti nga sa’yo. Feeling mo naman,” sabi ng isang babae habang papalapit sila sa akin. Yumuko na lang ako at tinitigan ang cupcakes sa sahig.

“Akala mo ba magugustuhan ka ni Tagan? As if.”

Bigla akong tinulak ng isa kaya napaupo ako.

“Dapat sa’yo nasasampal para magising ka sa panaginip mo.”

Nagulat ako nang may sumampal sa akin. Sa lakas, naramdaman kong pumutok ang labi ko.

“’Yan, para magising ka,” sabi ng isa pa habang pinahid sa mukha ko ang cupcake.

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin. I didn’t want to fight back.

Sunod-sunod ang sampal at may humila pa sa buhok ko.

“Assumera!”

“Bitch!”

“You won’t get Tagan!”

“Maganda ka nga pero you’re not his type!”

Wala akong nagawa kundi umiyak at tanggapin ang ginagawa nila.

Halos mapahiga ako sa sahig nang may sumipa sa akin.

“HOY, BITAWAN NIYO SIYA!!!”

Nakita ko si Venus na tumatakbo papunta sa amin. Binitawan nila ako at umalis.

Hindi ako makatayo. Namamanhid ang mukha at katawan ko.

“Oh my God, what happened to you, Celine?” inalalayan niya ako.

May isang lalaking tumulong sa amin. Nararamdaman ko na lang na buhat na ako.

Hindi ko na kayang buksan ang mata ko dahil sa sakit ng tiyan ko.

Nagising ako sa clinic, katabi si Venus.

“Celine, ano bang nangyari?” nagaalala niyang tanong.

“Wala… na-bully lang,” pilit kong biro.

“Hindi nakakatawa ’yon, Celine.”

Ipinakita niya sa akin ang salamin. May pasa ang labi ko at namamaga ang pisngi ko.

“Hindi ako pwedeng umuwi ng ganito,” sabi ko.

“Hindi ka talaga makakauwi. Hinayaan mong i-bully ka ng fans ni Tagan!”

“Hayaan mo na. Okay lang ’to. Sugat lang,” sabi ko. “Magte-text na lang ako kay Mommy na sa bahay mo ako matutulog.”

Ilang oras matapos iyon, pinayagan na kaming umalis at pumunta kami sa bahay nila Venus.

Pagkatapos kong maligo, tumabi ako sa kanya sa kama.

“You know, Celine, tigilan mo na si Tagan.”

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Seryoso siya.

“But—”

“Hindi na maganda ang epekto niya sa’yo. You’re getting crazy over him.”

“But I already love him, Venus. I love him so much,” bulong ko.

“Celine, tingnan mo ang nangyayari sa’yo. Hindi na ’to tama.”

“Please… last try,” pakiusap ko.

She sighed. “Last na ah.”

Yinakap ko siya.

CHAPTER 14 : BRUISES

“Jusko, darling, thank God gising ka na. Kamusta ang pakiramdam mo?” mabilis na tanong ni Mommy nang imulat ko ang mga mata ko. Pakiramdam ko sobrang bigat ng katawan ko.

Iginala ko ang tingin ko sa paligid ng kwarto. Paano ako napunta rito?

“Inuwi ka dito galing school, darling. You almost drowned in the swimming pool,” nagaalalang paliwanag ni Mommy habang tinutulungan akong sumandal sa headboard ng kama.

“Thank you, Mom,” mahina kong sabi nang makaupo na ako nang maayos.

“Darling, bakit hindi mo sinasabi sa akin na nabubully ka pala sa school?” tanong niya. Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya.

Ayokong mag-alala siya.

“Hindi, Mommy. First time lang ’yon, at hindi naman siguro sinasadyang natulak ako sa pool,” pagsisinungaling ko para hindi na lumala.

“Buti na lang wala dito ang Daddy mo ngayon. Kung hindi, mayayari talaga tayong dalawa,” buntong-hininga niya bago hinaplos ang pisngi ko.

Niyakap ko na lang siya.

“Magpahinga ka muna, darling. I’ll just go downstairs, okay?” Pinahiga niya ulit ako at inayos ang kumot ko.

Sobrang hina at drained ng pakiramdam ko kaya agad akong nakatulog.

I had too much for this day. I need rest.

---

Tove

“Bro, nalaman mo na ba ’yung balita?” tanong ni Aiden habang umuupo sa tabi ko.

“Anong balita? Ikaw, chismoso ka talaga,” sagot ko.

“No, pare. It’s about Celine. Halos malunod daw siya kahapon sa pool.”

“What? Seryoso? Bakit siya napunta doon?”

“Oo, pare. Sabi may tumulak daw sa kanya pero hindi alam kung sino. Poor Celine.”

“Bakit naman may gagawa sa kanya no’n?”

“Bro, malamang dahil kay Ta—”

Tinakpan ko agad ang bibig niya nang makita kong papasok si Tagan sa audio room.

“Ah, hehehe, galing talaga ng laro kanina, no?” pilit kong pag-arte.

“Oh, problema n’yo?” tanong ni Tagan nang makita niya kami sa ganung posisyon. Umupo ako nang maayos at nginitian siya.

“Wala naman, Tagan.”

Pero itong katabi ko, wala talagang preno.

“Tagan, si Celine nalunod dahil sa ’yo, gago,” sabat ni Aiden.

“What?” kunot-noong tanong ni Tagan.

“Ulitin ko, pre. Si… Ce… Li… ne… na… lu… nod. Gets?” dagdag pa ni Aiden.

Napatapik na lang ako sa noo ko.

“Gan, si Celine nalunod daw kahapon sa pool dahil may tumulak sa kanya, and we think it’s one of your fangirls,” ako na ang nagpaliwanag.

“So what?” diretsong sagot ni Tagan.

Napanganga kami ni Aiden.

“Tanga, pare. Wala kang pake?” hindi makapaniwalang sabi ni Aiden.

“Wala.” Umupo lang si Tagan at inayos ang gitara niya na parang walang nangyari.

“Ang harsh mo, gago,” sabi ni Aiden bago lumabas, halatang naiinis.

Sanay naman na kami sa ugali ni Tagan. Pero ewan ko, parang iba si Celine.

Pero para kay Tagan, she’s just like the other fans.

And Tagan doesn’t give a damn about “other” people.

---

CELINE

“What the hell happened, Celine?!” sigaw ni Dad pagpasok sa kwarto ko.

Hindi namin inaasahang uuwi sila agad kaya naabutan nila ako ni Kuya rito. May lagnat pa ako at may mga pasa sa braso, kaya galit na galit si Dad.

“Bruises lang ’yan, honey. Nahulog lang si Celine sa school at may light fever lang. Don’t worry,” paliwanag ni Mommy habang hinihila si Dad palabas.

Lumapit si Kuya sa akin at umupo sa harap ko. Ngumiti siya nang nakaka-comfort.

“Tell me what happened, Yash,” mahina niyang tanong.

“I just fell into the pool and caught a fever, Kuya,” sagot ko.

“Okay. Kung ’yan ang totoo, I’ll believe you. Just don’t lie to me.”

Para akong na-hypnotize sa mga sinabi niya.

“Okay, I give up, Kuya… I got bullied these past few weeks dahil sa lalaking sinabi kong gusto ko. His fans got mad at me and tried to stop me from chasing him. But Kuya… I really want him,” tuluyang tumulo ang luha ko.

Masakit na pinipigilan ako ng iba sa nararamdaman ko kay Tagan. Gusto ko lang naman patunayan sa kanya kung gaano ko siya kamahal.

“You know what, kung hindi lang kita mahal, nasapak ko na ang lalaking ’yon. But I love you so much, and I’m willing to understand you. Love is sacrifice and risk. If that’s your way of showing your feelings, I’ll support you till the end. Just be careful, please, Yash. Ayokong maulit ’to. Nasasaktan akong makitang nasasaktan ka.”

Agad akong yumakap kay Kuya. Parang lahat ng lungkot at takot na kinimkim ko ay biglang kumawala sa yakap niya.

“Great timing ba kami ni Dad?” biro niya.

Napatawa ako. “Best timing ever, Kuya. I love you so much.”

Mas hinigpitan ko ang yakap ko at umiyak sa balikat niya.

Hinagod niya ang likod ko hanggang sa kumalma ako. Nag-bonding kami buong gabi at ibinigay niya rin ang mga pasalubong niya galing Australia.

---

Isang linggo bago tuluyang gumaling ang lagnat ko dahil pabalik-balik ito. Buti na lang dinadalhan ako ni Venus ng assignments at seatworks para makapagpasa pa rin ako.

“Ang kulit mo kasi, Celine. Sabi mo last na ’yon, di ba? Oh, ayan, nangyari na,” sermon niya habang kumakain ng mango chips sa kwarto ko.

“Did I say that?” kunwari’y nag-iisip ako.

Nag-roll eyes siya.

“Don’t tell me uulitin mo pa, Celine. Grabe na nga nangyari sa ’yo.”

Nag-pout ako at hinawakan ang kamay niya. “Last, last one. Please.”

“Oh my gosh, hindi ko na alam gagawin ko sa ’yo. Pag napahamak ka ulit dahil sa kabaliwan mo sa walang pusong lalaking ’yon, nako Celine,” sabi niya, halatang pagod na kakasermon.

Napatawa na lang ako.

She’s so sweet. That’s why I love her so much.

“Thank you,” sincere kong sabi.

CHAPTER 15 : DATE ME

“Are you sure, anak? Kaya mo nang pumasok?” my mom asked, her face full of worry since kakagaling ko lang sa sakit.

“Yes, Mommy. I’m sure,” I said, kissing her cheek before walking over to Daddy, who was calmly seated at the dining table.

“Daddy, I’m off to school na.” I kissed his cheek too.

“Be careful this time, Yashashree. Ayaw kong nasusugatan o nasasaktan ka, anak.” His face softened at the last words.

Bigla akong naiyak, kaya agad ko siyang niyakap. My family is my source of energy, kahit paulit-ulit itong sinusubukang tanggalin ni Tagan sa akin.

“I’ll leave na po. I love you.”

I walked out the door and called for Kuya Gaston, pero ibang Kuya ang lumapit sa akin.

“Kuya?”

“Yes, Ma’am Yash. I’ll be your driver for the day. Glad to serve you.” He even bowed dramatically as if he were talking to a princess.

Napatawa na lang ako at inabot ang kamay niya. Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa sasakyan at hinatid niya ako sa university.

“Wag ka nang lalabas, Kuya, baka pagkaguluhan ka,” I reminded him. Kuya is a famous racer, kaya delikado para sa kanya na lumabas sa public nang walang disguise.

“Yes, Ma’am Yash. Ikaw na ang bumaba at pumasok — malalate ka na,” he teased, gently pushing me out of the car.

“Hahaha, I love you!” I waved at him hanggang sa makaalis siya.

“Celine!”

It was Venus.

“Tara na. I’ll be your bodyguard today. Hindi ko hahayaang ma-bully ka ulit.” She grabbed my hand as we walked across the campus.

Pagdating namin sa senior high building, napansin kong pinagtitinginan ako ng mga tao.

“Venus, why are they staring at us?” I whispered.

“Tinatanong pa ba ’yan? Siyempre maganda ako,” she joked.

“Hindi nga, seryoso.”

“Well, you’re viral kasi. May video na kumalat nung kinakausap mo si Tagan. You were so close to each other.”

Napaisip ako.

When were we that close?

Sa dance club room?

“But don’t mind them. Inggit lang ’yan,” she said, pulling me toward our classroom.

After class, dumiretso kami sa Cooking Club. Wala kaming magawa, so we made strawberry pancakes. Bigla kong naisip si Tagan.

One week ko na siyang hindi nakikita.

Why not give him some?

I packed six pieces and stood up to leave.

“Hey, saan ka pupunta? Hintayin mo ’ko!” Venus called, running after me.

We walked toward the audio room. Kahit malayo pa lang, rinig na ang tugtugan nila — meaning nandoon sila.

Sumilip ako sa pinto. I saw Tagan inside.

I knocked, and Aiden quickly opened it.

“Celine,” he said, letting us in.

“Oh, Celine! Kamusta ka na?” Tove asked, approaching me.

“Okay na ako. Magaling na,” I said, glancing at Tagan — but he only looked at me for a second before fixing his guitar again.

“Mabuti naman. Ako na rin magsosorry sa fans namin. Minsan kasi may aggressive talaga,” Tove said sheepishly.

“Wala ’yon. I understand,” I smiled, though my whole system was focused on Tagan.

“Ang bait mo talaga, Celine,” Aiden said.

“Ah, gumawa kami ng strawberry pancakes kanina sa Cooking Club. Gusto kong tikman n’yo.” I handed them the box.

“tsk.”

Tumayo si Tagan at lumabas.

“Tove, kayo muna bahala kay Venus. Sandali lang,” I said before running after him.

Malayo na siya, kaya binilisan ko. Nang maabutan ko siya, hinila ko ang shirt niya para mapatigil siya.

“Tagan, ito ’yung para sa’yo.” I handed him the last pancake.

He only glanced at it — then threw it straight into the trash.

“Ano bang gusto mo?! Hindi mo ba talaga ako titigilan? I don’t like you. Ano bang hindi malinaw doon?!” he snapped.

“HindI malinaw ang feelings mo, Tagan. Alam kong ako rin ang hinahanap mo — malabo lang kaya hindi mo makita,” I said confidently.

He smirked in disbelief.

“Taas ng tingin mo sa sarili mo.”

“Please, Tagan… let me love you. I’ll teach you how to love me too.”

“I don’t believe in love. Will you get the hell away from me?” His jaw clenched as he turned his back.

“Date me. I promise I’ll make you fall for me,” I said desperately.

Huminto siya at humarap ulit, then laughed.

“You think I’ll fall for someone like you? You’re not my type — and you never will be.”

“Date me,” I repeated.

“I don’t want to.”

Sinundan ko siya habang naglalakad siya sa hallway.

“Tagan, date me.”

“I said no.”

“Please, date me.”

“Just once.”

“Let’s date.”

“Tagan, just this once.”

“Date me, please.”

Hindi siya tumigil sa paglalakad hanggang makarating kami sa men’s restroom. Tinulak niya ako nang susunod sana ako.

I waited outside, still pleading.

This is my last chance.

“Date me, please…”

Sumandal ako sa pader, waiting for him to come out.

“Let’s go out together…”

“Please… just once. I promise I’ll make you fall—”

Naputol ako nang lumabas siya at pinunasan ang mukha ko gamit ang tissue.

Tinanggal ko iyon at tumingin sa kanya.

“Please, Tagan, dat—”

“Fine,” he cut me off.

My heart stopped.

“Let’s date tomorrow.”

CHAPTER 16 : SAFE

I woke up early in the morning because of excitement; I couldn’t even wipe the smile off my face kahit na mamayang gabi pa ang date namin ni Tagan. I couldn’t stop the happiness rushing through my whole system.

Hindi ko makalimutan ang pagpayag niya sa akin kahapon—iyon na yata ang pinakamasayang araw sa buong buhay ko.

“Please, Tagan, dat—”

“Fine, let’s date tomorrow.”

My eyes widened at what he said, but I immediately smiled at him. “Talaga ba?” I asked.

He nodded, shoved his hands into his pockets, and walked away.

“Teka, Tagan, saan tayo magde-date?” I shouted.

“Drimitri, 7 p.m. exact,” rinig kong sabi niya habang naglalakad palayo.

“Dimitri,” I whispered, referring to the club near our university kung saan ako unang nanood ng gig nila.

I felt heaven inside my heart knowing that I would date him.

This morning, I just stayed at home and didn’t attend some activities at school. I was too distracted—the whole day I was just thinking about our date and how it would go.

When the clock pointed to 5 p.m., mabilis akong naligo at nag-ayos. I also put on some makeup to show off because I wanted Tagan to see me as his future girl.

Habang iniisip si Tagan, hindi ko maiwasang ngumiti at kiligin. This is my first time, and I can’t hide the feelings roaming around my body.

I wore a maroon silk fitted dress, let my long hair down, and put on simple three-inch heels. But when I glanced at the mirror, I found myself too showy, so I grabbed a vintage jacket to cover my back. I think I’m ready.

I went out of my room and bumped into Kuya. I looked at him and smiled.

“Where are you going?” he seriously asked, scanning my features.

“Lalabas lang, Kuya,” I said, almost stuttering. God, pull yourself together, Celine.

“Gabi na, lalabas ka pa?”

“Si Venus naman kasama ko, Kuya.” Please, kumagat ka.

“No, you’re not going anywhere, young lady.” Both of my shoulders dropped and I frowned.

“Please, Kuya, I need to go,” I said.

“Still no. Kaya kung ako sa’yo, bumalik ka na sa kwarto mo.” He held both of my shoulders, pushed me toward my door, opened it, and pushed me inside.

“If I know, you’ll just see that boy. You know, Yash, I support you, but it’s dangerous to go out at night.” After he said that, he closed the door and left me inside.

Paano ako aalis nito?

Think, Celine. Baka hinihintay na ako ni Tagan doon. I need to find a way. I waited for a minute bago unti-unting lumabas sa kwarto. Good thing nasa loob na ng kwarto niya si Kuya. I went downstairs and saw Mommy and Daddy talking in the kitchen. I knelt and crawled until I reached the door.

I slowly opened it, not making any sound, then ran out of the house and called for a taxi. Buti na lang may dumaan sa subdivision namin kaya agad akong nakasakay.

“Saan po tayo, Ma’am?” the driver asked.

“Mondrian University po, Kuya.” I took my phone and texted Mommy to inform her that I was out. Wala na silang magagawa dahil nasa labas na ako.

It took me fifteen minutes bago makarating sa tapat ng university. I paid the driver and walked toward the club.

Madaming tao at maingay sa loob, but I walked in and looked for Tagan. I couldn’t find him anywhere—siguro malalate lang.

Naghanap ako ng pwedeng upuan and waited for him. The whole time, pinapanood ko lang ang crowd, and I didn’t notice the time. 9 p.m. na, wala pa ring Tagan na dumarating. I tried chatting him on Messenger, but he was offline.

“Miss, mag-isa ka lang?” some guys approached me, but I ignored them and went out of the club.

Andito na ako sa tapat ng club, still trying to contact him. Ano na kaya ang nangyari sa kanya? Bakit wala pa siya?

Magteten na, wala pa ring Tagan na dumarating, at dumadami na rin ang pumapasok sa club. I felt uncomfortable, kaya medyo lumayo ako at naglakad-lakad muna.

It was dark, but not that scary, so I kept walking—until two men blocked my way. Madilim kaya hindi ko masyadong makita ang mukha nila.

“Hi, Miss,” one of them said.

Humakbang sila papalapit sa akin kaya umatras ako. I was about to run when they grabbed my hair and pulled me.

“Saan ka pupunta, Miss?” They dragged me somewhere hanggang sa nakaramdam na lang ako ng damong tumatama sa binti ko.

They covered my mouth kaya hindi ako makasigaw, and they were too strong—I couldn’t escape their grip.

“Gabi na, Miss, mag-isa ka pa. Don’t worry, pasasayahin ka namin.” Binalot ako ng takot sa sinabi nila kaya nagpumiglas ako.

But one of them pulled my hair so hard that I fell onto the grass. “Tulong!” I shouted, pero agad na sumampa sa ibabaw ko ang isa sa kanila at kinapitan ang mga kamay ko.

“Shhh, huwag kang maingay, Miss. Magagalit ako pag ganyan,” he said, but I didn’t listen. I punched him, but the other man grabbed both of my hands and pinned them above my head.

“Makulit ka ah.” I groaned in pain when he punched me in the stomach.

The man above me started kissing my neck and pulled my jacket off. I couldn’t shout because he was covering my mouth, but I still tried to make noise for help.

“Pare, ang kinis. Tiba-tiba tayo nito.” I started crying when they pulled the strap of my dress and forced a kiss on me.

Nanginginig na ako sa takot at panghihina. My knees were trembling, my hands too weak to escape their grip. I couldn’t stop them.

I felt hands on my thighs kaya pinilit kong umiwas at nagpumiglas. “Please, help me,” I said while they were still forcing a kiss on me.

I could feel them touching every part of my body, so I cried harder. “Please, help me.”

“Huwag kang malikot, Miss.” They punched and slapped me this time.

“Tagan, help me please,” I almost whispered his name.

“Hoy, Tigilan niyo ’yan!” I heard someone shout, making them stop and run away.

Nanghihinang niyakap ko ang sarili ko nang umalis sila. My whole body was trembling and weak.

When someone went near me and covered my body, I quickly sat up and hugged him.

And cried harder.

I’m so scared.

“Shhhh, you’re safe now,” he whispered. He was a man.

I was about to look at him when I felt dizzy and everything went black.

CHAPTER 17 : TOO MUCH PAIN

Pagmulat ng mga mata ko, agad kong nakita ang nagaalalang mukha ni Mommy. I looked around and saw my brother and Dad standing beside her.

“Oh my God, thank God you’re safe,” my mom cried as she hugged me tightly.

I felt so drained that I couldn’t even talk. My brother noticed, so he grabbed some water and handed it to me. Daddy helped me sit up and let me drink.

Pinanood nila ako hanggang sa matapos akong uminom. “Celine, darling, how are you feeling? Tell Mommy,” umiiyak na tanong ni Mommy habang hawak ang kamay ko.

Pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili ko. I felt pain in my stomach, my arms were bruised, and my face felt numb.

I could see the anger in my father’s eyes, but he was trying to control it.

But when I met Kuya’s gaze, agad akong naluha at umiyak. I started shaking and shook my head. “I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry,” I whispered while crying harder.

I felt my brother’s hands on my wrists, trying to stop them from shaking. I looked up at him. “Kuya… they touched me… Kuya… Mommy…” My mom cried and hugged me tighter.

Dad punched the wall and cursed, “Fuck them.”

“Don’t worry, Yash. They’ll pay for this,” madiing sambit ni Kuya as he held my hands tightly.

“Mommy…” I hugged her and cried in her arms.

“Shhhh, baby, it’s okay. I’m here,” Mom whispered in my ear and kissed my head.

It took me hours before I stopped crying. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened—it kept replaying in my mind. Every time I remembered, I could still feel their hands on my body, and it made me feel disgusted with myself.

The nurse injected me with something that made me calm for a moment.

Right now, I was just staring at the ceiling, feeling nothing.

“Darling, Celine, meet Zake,” my mother said.

I glanced at her. She was with an unfamiliar boy, both of them staring at me.

The boy smiled and handed me some flowers. I just looked at them and let them rest on my lap.

“He’s Zake, darling. Siya ang nagligtas sa’yo.”

So he was that man.

I nodded. “Thank you,” I whispered, then resumed gazing at the ceiling.

---

It’s already been one week, but Celine is still traumatized by what happened to her. I feel pity for her and angry at myself because I should’ve been there that time—but I wasn’t, and she got hurt without me knowing.

If only I had been with her that night, this wouldn’t have happened.

I also found out that she went to the club because of the date Tagan promised her. Screw that man—fuck him for promising something he didn’t even intend to keep.

I learned that Tagan didn’t take the promise seriously. Instead, he went to Aiden’s party that night and enjoyed himself while my best friend almost got raped.

I’m so angry at him. I want to punch him so hard.

“Hey, Venus, are you okay?” napalingon ako sa kasama ko. It was Zake—the one who saved Celine that night. Kahit ilang araw pa lang kaming magkakilala, we’ve already become friends.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Tara, pasok na tayo,” I said.

Pumasok kami sa room ni Celine and found her staring blankly at the window.

Madalas siyang gano’n—kung hindi umiiyak, nakatulala lang.

The doctor said she’s still traumatized by what happened, kaya kailangan lagi namin siyang bantayan. But she can overcome it in time.

“Celine, andito na kami ni Zake. May dala akong cheesecake, oh look,” I said, placing it on the side table before sitting beside her.

Lumingon siya sa akin and forced a small smile. My poor Celine… why do you have to feel this way because of that bastard?

I hugged her. She rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my waist.

Zake sat on the chair beside her hospital bed, watching us. He gave me a comforting look and smiled gently at Celine.

“Venus… I want to see Tagan,” Celine whispered.

My blood started to boil the moment I heard that name.

Fuck him.

“Hindi mo na siya kailangang makita, Celine. Kalimutan mo na siya,” I said.

“Baka hinintay niya ako that night. I want to talk to him.” My jaw clenched as I tried to hold back my anger.

I don’t want to hurt Celine right now, so I forced myself to stay calm.

“Please, Venus… I need Tagan.”

Okay, I’m done.

“No, Celine. Stop thinking about him. He’s an asshole!”

Umupo nang maayos si Celine and looked at me with teary eyes.

She was about to cry. “I want to see Tagan,” she whispered, staring down at her hands.

“Celine, huwag ka nang magpakatanga kay Tagan. Ang totoo, hindi ka talaga niya binalak siputin that night. Pinaasa ka niya—and look what happened to you because of his stupidity. You almost got raped. Celine naman, tumigil ka na sa kahibangan mo sa kanya.”

Umiling si Celine, like she didn’t want to believe what I was saying.

---

“No… tell me you’re lying, Venus,” I whispered.

Hindi totoo ang sinasabi niya. I know Tagan—he keeps his promises. Alam kong tutuparin niya iyon.

“You want proof? You want to hurt yourself, Celine? Sige, kung ganyan lang din—tignan mo.”

She showed me her phone—a picture of Tagan and Aiden at the party.

“Ayan ang kinababaliwan mo. The one you were waiting for that night—but the truth is, he was enjoying himself at Aiden’s party and forgot about your date. Celine, ano ba? Gumising ka na. Tama na!”

Parang tumigil ang tibok ng puso ko. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

No… he didn’t do that. Please.

Sobrang sakit ng puso ko. Tears fell from my eyes as I stared at Venus. I’m so damn hurt.

Why did you do this to me, Tagan? You’re too much.

My hands started shaking as I cried harder, trying to release the pain inside me. Venus hugged me while I felt Zake hold my hand.

“How could you do this to me, Tagan?”

I loved you too much, and you know what? It’s so hard to love you. Sobrang hirap mong mahalin, pero hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sarili kong mahalin ka kahit sobrang sakit na.

I didn’t stop crying that day, so the nurses had to inject me with a sleeping pill to calm me down.

I’m in too much pain.

and it’s killing me so much, Tagan.

CHAPTER 18 : ZAKE AND VENUS

“Welcome home, darling,” my mom said when we got out of the car. I had just been discharged from the hospital after being confined for almost two weeks.

“Tara na sa loob.” We went inside, and they had prepared lunch for us. Kumain sila, pero kaunti lang ang kinain ko. I didn’t want to eat—I just wanted to lie down on my bed.

After lunch, Kuya escorted me to my room and let me rest.

I took a nap and woke up at 9:30 p.m. I felt thirsty, kaya lumabas ako ng kwarto para kumuha ng tubig sa baba.

But I stopped when I heard my parents and my brother talking inside their room. Lumapit ako nang kaunti para marinig ang pinag-uusapan nila.

“They’re already in jail, and don’t worry, honey, I’ll make sure this won’t spread. Tayo lang ang nakakaalam ng nangyari kay Celine,” I heard Dad say.

Nahuli na yung dalawang lalaking iyon? Agad akong binalot ng kaba nang maalala ko sila. My hands started to shake, so I shoved them into my pockets to stop the trembling.

“Dad, how about Celine’s school? It’s near where the incident happened. Baka lalo lang lumala ang trauma niya kapag nakikita niya ang lugar na iyon,” nagaalalang tanong ni Kuya.

“Tama, Anton. Ayaw ko namang lumala ang trauma ng anak natin. She’s been through a lot,” Mom said, her voice cracking as if she was about to cry again.

“Don’t worry, ililipat natin siya ng school. I’m thinking about Zake’s school—at least doon kasama niya si Zake.”

I didn’t continue listening. I went downstairs and drank some water.

After that, bumalik agad ako sa kwarto ko, ni-lock ko ang pinto, and lay on the bed. I felt numb and worthless, my trauma eating me alive every time I closed my eyes.

I kept remembering that scene, so I cried again and covered myself with the comforter.

Until I fell asleep.

---

The next morning, Venus and Zake visited me at home. They had become my companions after what happened—they never left my side. Zake even became a family friend. Malaki ang utang na loob namin sa kanya. He was the one who saved me, and I really owe him my life.

“Kamusta, Celine? Feeling well or feeling well? Ano, pumili ka sa dalawa?” masiglang tanong ni Venus habang nakaupo sa kama ko.

I chuckled a little. “May choice ba ako?” I joked.

I faked a laugh kahit na ang totoo, hindi ko pa rin magawang maging masaya. All I know right now is the word pain—and the other name for that pain is Tagan.

It hurts, but my heart still wants to see him.

“Celine, kumain ka na ba?” tanong ni Zake. I nodded.

Venus played some movies, and we watched a comedy the whole day—but it didn’t work. I still felt nothing.

“Putik, sakit ng tiyan ko. Wait, CR lang ako,” Venus said, running to the bathroom. Nasobrahan sa kakatawa at kakakain buong araw.

Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Zake. He was fixing his bag.

“Hey, Zake,” I called.

Lumingon siya at ngumiti. “Bakit?”

“Gusto ko lang ulit magpasalamat sa pagtulong mo sa’kin that night. Kung wala ka doon, siguro patay na ako.” I forced a small laugh so it wouldn’t sound too heavy.

“Don’t say that. It’s okay—forget about it. Ang mahalaga, you’re safe, and you have a new friend… and that’s me.” He gave me a genuine smile and went back to fixing his bag.

I just watched him, then looked at the window. It was already sunset—and I remembered Tagan.

Hinahanap niya kaya ako? Nag-aalala kaya siya dahil hindi na ako pumapasok sa school? Hinahanap niya kaya ang presensya ko? O baka mas masaya siya dahil wala na akong istorbo sa buhay niya?

“Oh, Celine… umiiyak ka na naman. Sabi ko sa’yo, huwag mo na isipin ’yon. Aatakihin ka na naman ng trauma mo niyan.” Agad lumapit si Zake at pinunasan ang luha sa mukha ko.

Hindi ko namalayang umiiyak na pala ako.

How can you still make me cry, Tagan, kahit wala ka dito?

“Oh, ano ginawa mo, Zake?” napalingon kami kay Venus na kakalabas lang ng CR. Lumapit siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

Akala nila inaatake ako ng trauma.

“I’m fine… naluha lang dahil sa sunset. I get emotional easily these past few weeks—siguro dahil na rin sa pills na pinapainom sa’kin,” I explained to stop them from worrying.

“Baka naman pinaiyak ka nitong si Zake, ayaw mo lang sabihin! Naku, ako bahala sa’yo.” Bigla niyang hinampas si Zake ng unan.

“Ah, ganon ah,” Zake said, grabbing a pillow behind me and throwing it at Venus.

I laughed when the pillow hit Venus’s face. It looked like slow motion as they started a pillow fight in front of me.

Nagulat ako nang may unan na tumama rin sa mukha ko—si Venus pala.

“Ay, sorry! Akala ko si Zake,” she said, but I knew she did it on purpose.

Unti-unti kong kinuha ang unan at tumayo sa kama, then hit Venus back. Nakisali na rin ako sa pillow fight.

“Hahaha, ouch! Teka nga, ito sa’yo!” Venus laughed.

“Hey, that’s too hard!” reklamo ni Zake.

While they were busy complaining, I grabbed the chance to throw two pillows at their faces at the same time.

“Hey, foul!” sigaw ni Zake as he ran outside. We chased him.

For that moment, nawala sa isip ko si Tagan at ang nangyari sa’kin. My chest felt lighter somehow.

They became my new strength—Venus and Zake. Sila lang, kasama ang pamilya ko, ang nakakaalam ng nangyari sa’kin.

After they went home that day, I rested. The next morning, we went for a checkup and a session with a psychiatrist for my trauma.

I need to overcome this.

I need to forget what happened—

so I can finally have a new life and a better start.

CHAPTER 19 : AIDEN

Aiden’s Point of View

I was chilling at the coffee shop near the university when some fans bumped into me and asked for pictures. Pinagbigyan ko na sila, and after that I left and walked through the campus. That’s when I saw Venus—Celine’s friend—coming out of the Dean’s office.

She was with her boyfriend, I guess.

I hid behind the corner as they passed by, and I heard them talking about Celine.

“Salamat, Venus, ah,” the boy said.

“Wala ’yon, Kuya. Gusto ko rin naman kasama si Celine, kaya lilipat din ako.”

What? Lilipat sila ni Celine? Saan?

“Sigurado, maganda doon sa university na ’yon, Kuya, noh?” Venus looked so excited.

When they turned left, I couldn’t hear them anymore, so I stepped out of my hiding spot.

I started walking, and just as I reached the Dean’s office, he came out.

Paktay.

“Mr. Castro, why are you still out? Wala ka bang klase?” he asked.

To be honest, hindi talaga ako pumasok sa klase. I scratched the back of my neck and smiled.

“Hindi po, Dean, nag-CR lang po ako, hehehe,” palusot ko.

“Ah, ganon ba? Sige, bumalik ka na sa klase mo.”

He was about to walk away, but I stopped him.

“Ah, tanong ko lang po, nasaan si Celine Amora? Pansin ko kasi, sir, three weeks na siyang hindi pumapasok.”

He looked at me this time.

“Miss Amora and Miss Yap are transferring to another university,” the Dean said.

“Bakit daw po?” I asked, curious.

“Bakit ka rin tanong nang tanong, Mr. Castro? Dapat nasa klase ka na ngayon,” he replied sarcastically.

“Bakit din kaya, Dean, ang sungit n’yo? Joke, love you, Dean. Pasok na po ako.” I ran off.

Of course, I didn’t go to class. Dumiretso ako sa Audio room para matulog.

I woke up when I heard the door open. It was Tove and Tagan—probably just finished with class.

“Hoy, gago, hindi ka na naman pumasok,” bungad ni Tove.

“Bakit hindi ka pumasok?” tanong ni Gan, so I sat up to face them.

“Inaantok kasi ako. Alam n’yo na, kulang sa tulog—buong gabi akong nag-harvest,” I smirked, remembering what I did last night.

“Harvest mo mukha mo. Sabihin mo nang nangabayo ka kagabi,” sarcastic na sabi ni Tove.

“Gago, pre, ako ang kinabayo—YIHAAA!” I acted like I was riding a horse, making them laugh.

“Asshole,” Tagan muttered.

Tinawanan ko lang sila at inayos ang drum set.

“Ay, pare, may naalala ako—si Celine,” I said, catching their attention, especially Tagan’s.

“Oo nga, hindi ko napapansin si Celine these past few weeks,” nagtatakang sabi ni Tove.

“Lilipat na daw siya ng university, pare.”

I saw Tagan’s stare darken as he clenched his jaw.

“Bakit daw?” Tove asked.

“Hindi ko rin alam. Hindi sinabi ni Dean ang dahilan. At isa pa, kasama niyang lilipat ang kaibigan niyang si Venus. Kanina ko lang siya nakita—pero si Celine, hindi.”

“Ow, pag wala na si Celine, wala na tayong treats na matatanggap,” nanghihinayang na sabi ni Tove.

May punto siya.

Hindi na ako makakatipid ng pera nito.

“Gago, si Tagan kamo ang kawawa,” I teased, but he just shot me a cold glare.

“WHY ME?” inis na sagot ni Tagan.

“Sus, ayaw pa aminin. Gusto mo rin si Celine eh.”

“Sinong may sabi? Wala akong gusto doon, at hindi ko siya magugustuhan, so fuck off.”

“Oh, ba’t galit?” I said.

“Gan, hindi ka ba nagtataka na bigla na lang siyang aalis? Kakabi lang niya sa’yo na mahal ka niya, diba?” Tove asked him.

“Tsk, I don’t care. Tsaka okay na rin ’yon na wala na siya. At least matatahimik na ang buhay ko.”

Bakit parang galit ito?

Nagkatinginan kami ni Tove, and he just shrugged.

Bahala na nga.

“Tara na, practice na. May harvest session pa ako mamaya, hahaha.”

---

This was my first day at my new school, kaya maaga akong hinatid ni Kuya. I stepped out of the car and gazed at the big gate in front of me.

Ethereal University.

New environment. New start, I guess.

And no Tagan.

I took a deep breath after remembering him. I can’t lie to myself—I still love him and miss him. I have to move on, but moving on doesn’t mean my love for him disappears. He still has a big place in my heart.

“Hey, Celine, what are you waiting for? Pasok na,” Kuya called from the car.

He leaned out the window and smiled. “Go.”

I nodded.

I started walking and entered the university. I looked around—it was filled with a fresh ambiance and vibrant energy. The students wore different uniforms depending on their colleges.

I was wearing a senior high uniform since I’m still a Grade 11 student.

As I roamed around, I saw Zake and Venus sitting at a round table beside the field. Agad akong tumakbo papunta sa kanila.

“Venus! Zake!” I called.

They immediately turned to me with big smiles.

“Celine! Buti naman, andito ka na. Kanina ka pa namin hinihintay,” Venus said, kissing my cheek and letting me sit beside her while Zake sat across from us.

“Welcome to Ethereal, Celine. Sana magustuhan mo dito,” Zake said with a smile.

“Oo naman, I like it here,” I said, looking around.

Nagulat ako nang may biglang umupo sa harap namin, right beside Zake, casually draping his arm over Zake’s shoulders.

“Zake, introduce me naman to the beautiful ladies over here,” he said with a cheeky wink.

“Bigla-bigla ka namang sumusulpot! By the way, Venus, Celine—this is Otis, my friend,” pagpapakilala ni Zake.

The guy named Otis offered his hand, and we shook it. He seemed jolly and a bit dorky, making funny faces that were actually amusing.

“Nice meeting you, Venus and Celine. I’m Sebastian Otis Visco, at your service.”

“Hello, Otis,” I said.

This is a new start.

New school, new friends.

I think I can handle life with them.

I’m ready to face a new beginning.

CHAPTER 20 : START A BAND

“Celine, tara, Sturb’s tayo,” Venus said, pulling me without my permission.

“Sandali lang—”

It’s been months, and I can confidently say that I’ve finally overcome my trauma and left that nightmare behind. I started a new life with a better outlook.

I’ve been reading a lot of books lately, and I can say I’m learning. I’ve fully accepted myself now. I support self-love, and these days I’ve been loving myself more. But I can’t lie—my heart still longs for someone from afar.

I can’t stop that, but I’m trying my best to lessen the feelings and focus on the new me.

Tagan might be my biggest weakness, but now that he’s not here, I’m starting to grow stronger, bolder, and I’m enjoying this better version of myself.

I’ve been surrounded with love by my parents and my friends. Venus, Otis, and Zake became my loophole—my escape, my happiness. I’m so lucky to have them by my side.

“Ang tagal n’yo. Kanina pa kami dito,” reklamo ni Otis when we sat across from him and Zake.

“Naka-order na kami para sa inyo, don’t worry,” Zake said with a smile.

“Libre ba, Zake?” I joked.

“Yes, para sa’yo libre na.”

“Ayon oh, libre daw!” Otis stood up and raised his hands like we’d won a game.

“Hindi ka kasama,” Venus teased.

Otis’s lips twitched as he rolled his eyes. “KJ, bleh.”

We all laughed, and after that our food was served. We spent the whole day eating and bonding. This became our routine—after classes, we meet here to eat, talk, and sometimes play games on our phones.

---

It’s Sunday, which means no classes. I decided to make my day productive—exercising in the morning, gardening outside, cleaning my room, and reading some books.

Daddy and Kuya went to Singapore for his race, but they’ll be back next month. Mommy is busy with our business, so I’m alone here at home with the maids.

I sat on my bed after finishing some of my books and stared at the ceiling when I noticed something above my closet. Tumayo ako at lumapit doon.

I pulled my study chair to reach the top. When I finally got it, I returned to my bed and sat down. It was a little dusty—but still beautiful.

“How are you?” I whispered, touching its strings.

It was my guitar—the one I used in the Miss Mondrian contest. The same guitar that witnessed how Tagan held my hands and taught me how to play.

Pain knocked on my chest as I held it.

“It’s been a while.”

Pinunasan ko ang alikabok and tried to play it.

Nasa tono pa rin.

I started strumming and singing.

(Teardrops on My Guitar – Taylor Swift)

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see That I want and I’m needing Everything that we should be…

I remembered his touch on my hands. The feelings were still the same.

I miss him so much.

I strummed the last part when I suddenly jumped at the sound of clapping.

“Wohhhh, galing!” It was Otis. They were all standing at my door—I didn’t even notice them arrive.

I put the guitar down on the bed and walked over to hug them.

“Bakit kayo nandito? May lakad ba tayo?” I asked.

“Wala, tambay lang kami dito,” Venus said, already lying on my bed. Otis followed.

“Celine, you’re good at singing. Why don’t you show it to us?” Zake said.

I avoided his gaze and sat down. “Hindi naman gano’n kaganda ang boses ko.”

“Anong hindi maganda? Ang ganda kaya!” Otis grabbed my shoulders dramatically. Venus sat beside me.

“Yeah, maganda talaga boses niya. Nahihiya lang ’yan,” Venus added.

I saw Zake grin as he moved closer and sat in front of me while Otis and Venus stayed at my sides.

“Try singing again. This time we’ll hear it clearly—and judge it,” Zake said playfully until I had no choice.

“Let’s go!” Otis cheered, handing me my guitar.

“Pasalamat kayo, mahal ko kayo, haha,” I joked before strumming.

(Cornelia Street – Taylor Swift)

We were in the backseat Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar…

I sang until the chorus, then slowly stopped and looked at them. They were all staring at me. It took a second before they reacted.

“WOW!” Otis almost shouted.

“ANG GANDA, CELINE!” Venus yelled, making me cover my ears because she was right beside me.

Napatingin ako kay Zake, who was staring at me seriously. He gently held both of my hands, making the two of them quiet.

All our attention turned to him, waiting.

His serious expression softened into a genuine smile as he looked straight into my eyes.

“Celine…” he said softly.

“Let’s start a band.”

CHAPTER 21 : NEFARIOUS BAND

“I can’t, Zake,” I said, but he tightened his grip on my hands, pleading with those puppy eyes. Gan’on din sina Venus at Otis sa tabi ko.

“Paanong banda, Zake? I mean… how?”

“I can play drums,” Otis said, raising his right hand.

“I can play acoustic too,” Venus added.

“I can play electric and acoustic guitar,” Zake said with a smirk.

I couldn’t process anything. Biglaan ang lahat. The next morning, they were already dragging me toward the Dean’s office.

“Hey, are you freaking serious, Zake? This is a mess, I’m telling you,” I whispered, trying to convince him this wasn’t a good idea. But they were too determined to build the band.

“Oh my God, noooo,” I whispered-shouted as they finally pushed me inside the office.

“Good morning po, Dean,” bati ni Otis kay Mr. Montereal, our dean.

“What is this all about, Mr. Mercado?” he asked Zake.

“Sir, we would like to form a band for Ethereal,” Zake said confidently.

My eyes widened.

“Wow, that’s a great idea, Mr. Mercado. The university needs that so we can participate in inter-university band competitions. I approve. Give me the list of members, and I’ll handle your papers.”

My jaw dropped in disbelief.

Is this really happening?

“Thank you, Dean. We’ll send it as soon as possible,” Zake said before they pulled me out and dragged me to the rooftop.

“Oh my God, magkakabanda na tayo!” sigaw ni Venus habang tumatalon, hawak ang kamay ni Otis.

They were glowing with happiness. Zake held my hands, and I faced him.

“We can do it. Trust me.”

I saw the sincerity in his eyes—and I chose to trust him.

---

The Dean approved our proposal within a week and gave us access to the music room anytime we wanted.

We started practicing after school and bonding more with each other. Mas naging malapit kami sa isa’t isa. Our teamwork grew stronger, and we began to understand one another better.

I was amazed by each of them.

Venus became deeply invested in the band. She studied the acoustic guitar seriously, and now she was actually good at it.

Otis was surprisingly amazing on drums—he said he’d been playing since elementary.

Zake… he was good at everything. Effortlessly talented.

After a month, our band started getting noticed by students. Kahit hindi pa kami nagpe-perform in public, word spread about us—and suddenly, we had fans.

“GUYSSSS!” napalingon kami sa pinto nang dumating si Venus, sumisigaw.

“Hey, what happened?” I asked.

“Tapos na ’yan tumae kaya ganyan,” singit ni Otis, making Venus glare at him.

“Gago, hindi! May good news ako!” she said excitedly.

“What is it?” Zake asked.

“MAY FIRST GIG NA TAYOOOOOO!!!”

I immediately stood up and jumped into Zake’s arms, hugging him out of pure happiness.

“I told you,” he whispered.

“Hey, sama kami!” Venus and Otis ran toward us, and we formed a group hug.

“Thank you, Lord,” I said softly.

---

“Let’s all welcome NEFARIOUS BAND from Ethereal University!” the MC announced as we stepped onto the stage.

We were at Vintage Lust Club—our first gig. It was their anniversary, and they wanted us to perform for the whole night.

I felt nervous… but I chose excitement instead.

“Hello, everyone. We are Nefarious from Ethereal University, here to serve you for the whole night. Enjoy, and happy anniversary, Vintage Lust!” I smiled at the crowd.

They applauded as we started playing.

(My Happy Ending – Avril Lavigne)

It was a heartfelt moment singing for the crowd. I could see how amused and engaged they were, and for the first time, I realized how much I loved this.

This stage. This band. This new version of me.

My band will be known someday.

We will succeed.

Yashashree means success, and I hope it leads us there.

CHAPTER 22 : T

Five years have passed.

It’s been a while—and I’m doing well.

Life with the band has been everything I never expected. We’re now fourth-year college students at Ethereal, and I chose Fine Arts. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with painting, music—everything that lets me create, feel, and breathe.

Over the years, Nefarious became Ethereal’s official band. We’ve won awards, represented the university in countless competitions, and built a name of our own. But more than that, we gained people—fans who stayed, who listened, who believed. They became our reason to keep going.

After everything that happened… I chose a better life. I let go of the past.

And for once, I can say I’m proud of who I’ve become.

(“I’m With You” – Avril Lavigne echoes in the background.)

“AHHHHH NEFARIOUS, WE LOVE YOUUUU!”

“OTISSSS!”

“ZALINEEEE!”

“VENUSSSS!”

“WE LOVE YOU, YASHHHH!”

The crowd roared, chanting our names like we were something bigger than ourselves.

And maybe, in moments like this, we were.

Their energy fueled me—their voices, their cheers. Seeing them happy because of us… it made everything worth it.

We were performing at Mystical Club, just another night, another stage—but it never felt ordinary. Gigs had become our routine. Weekdays, weekends—no breaks, no pauses. But we loved it.

And through all of it, we never drifted apart. If anything, the four of us only grew stronger.

“Thank you for this wonderful night, everyone! Nefarious loves you!” I shouted before we stepped off the stage together.

We had to wait for the bouncers to escort us out—fans were already crowding the exits, and things could easily get out of hand.

“Tara na, Celine,” Zake said, grabbing my wrist and guiding me through the chaos.

Getting out wasn’t easy—people pushing, calling out our names—but once we made it inside the van, everything settled.

“Grabe, patagal nang patagal, mas nagiging wild ang fans natin. Next time baka mawala na lang ako—kinidnap na pala,” Otis joked.

Venus shot him a look.

He shut up instantly.

I glanced down and noticed Zake was still holding my hand.

“Hey… Zake, nasa van na tayo. My hand,” I said softly.

He immediately let go, avoiding my eyes. “Sorry… I forgot.”

“By the way, Celine—tapos mo na ba project natin?” Venus asked, leaning back in her seat.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Done na.”

“Ay wow. Eh kayo?” she turned to Otis.

Otis looked at Zake. “Bro… ano nga ulit project natin?”

“Tapos na,” Zake replied casually.

Otis straightened up, smirking at Venus. “Kala mo kayo lang, ah.”

“Umaasa ka lang kay Zake,” Venus fired back.

“Eh bakit ba? Wala nang pakialamanan!”

Their argument carried on in the backseat, but I tuned them out.

Zake nudged me slightly.

“What do you think?” he asked, showing me his phone—a café he found.

We had to find new places lately. Our old hangouts weren’t safe anymore—fans would swarm the moment they recognized us.

“I think it’s good. Let’s try it.”

He nodded and showed it to the driver.

The café turned out perfect—quiet, almost no one recognized us. A few people asked for pictures, but it was manageable.

We stayed for a few hours before heading home. Exams were waiting for us tomorrow.

“Mommy, I’m home,” I called as I stepped inside.

Mom walked out of the kitchen, followed by Kuya Drake. They were baking.

I walked up to them and kissed them both.

“How was the gig?” Kuya asked, pulling me into a hug.

“Same as always. Super lit.”

“Celine, darling, want to help us? We’re making chocolate chip cookies,” Mom said, smiling as she showed me a tray of dough.

My smile faltered.

“No, Mommy… I’ll just rest. I still need to review. I’ll go upstairs.”

I pulled away from Kuya and headed up.

I stopped baking after… that incident.

Something about it doesn’t feel the same anymore. What used to make me happy now only brings back memories I’d rather forget.

I don’t want my mind to wander back to him.

I’m okay now.

My life is better this way.

Inside my room, I dropped onto my bed, placing my guitar beside me. Exhaustion settled in—but it was the good kind.

I was about to sleep when my phone buzzed.

Zake.

From Zake:

Rest well. You’ll need energy for tomorrow’s exams.

To Zake:

Noted. Goodnight.

From Zake:

Goodnight. Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow.

I smiled.

Zake and I… we’re close. Close enough for fans to ship us—“Zaline,” they call it.

But to us, it’s simple.

We’re just… there for each other.

Always.

I glanced at my guitar before setting my phone aside.

“Goodnight, T.”

CHAPTER 23 : AIN’T YOUR FAULT

“Hay, grabe… drained na utak ko doon ah,” reklamo ni Venus habang naglalakad kami palabas ng classroom. Kakatapos lang ng exam—mahirap, pero kinaya.

“Eh nangopya ka lang naman kay Celine,” pang-aasar ni Otis.

“Baka ikaw ’yon!” hinampas siya ni Venus gamit ang bag niya.

Otis just laughed, clearly enjoying her reaction.

“Hey, may gig tayo mamaya sa Engineering Building,” singit ni Zake, eyes on me. “May team building sila. They invited us—8 PM.”

“Game. 8 PM,” sagot ko, then glanced at my watch. “5 PM pa lang. Tara, kain muna tayo sa labas.”

“Sure.” Inalok niya ako ng braso niya, and I took it without thinking.

“Hey! Tara, kain tayo!” tawag ko kina Otis at Venus, na hanggang ngayon nag-aaway pa rin sa likod.

“G!” sigaw ni Otis sabay takbo papunta sa’min, kasunod si Venus.

---

Kumain kami sa isang coffee shop malapit sa university—but as usual, hindi kami nagtagal dahil sa fans.

So nag-take out na lang kami at tumambay sa Audio Room. Doon kami kumain, nagkwentuhan, then nag-practice for the 8 PM gig.

---

“Engineers, I present to you… the Nefarious Band! “

We stepped onto the stage and started playing.

(Ain’t Your Fault – Zara Larsson)

The beat dropped, and I let myself move with it—my body syncing with the music, the energy, the crowd. Sumabay sila, and for a moment, everything felt electric.

After the set, we went down and were guided to a table.

“Thank you po,” sabay-sabay naming sabi as they served us food.

Habang kumakain kami, a group of engineering students approached us.

“Ahm… hello po. Celine, right?” one of them asked.

I smiled. “Yes?”

“May problema ba?” tanong agad ni Zake, medyo protective ang tono.

“Magpapicture lang sana,” nahihiyang sabi nung isa.

“Of course,” I stood up and posed with them.

After the pictures, one of them handed me a box of chocolates.

“Ang ganda mo, Celine… I’m a fan. Sana magustuhan mo.”

I smiled softly. “Thank you.”

“Kami rin,” dagdag pa ng isa. “We’ve admired you since the start.”

I felt my cheeks warm.

But before it got any more awkward, tumayo na si Zake.

“Thanks for the food, guys, pero kakain muna kami,” he said politely.

They nodded and left.

As usual, si Otis agad ang kumuha ng chocolates—at sila ni Venus ang kumain.

---

The next day…

Maaga kaming pumasok. Pinatawag kami ng dean.

Pagpasok ko sa gate, nakita ko agad si Zake. He walked up to me, and sabay kaming pumunta sa office.

Venus and Otis were already there.

“Nefarious, good morning,” bati ng dean.

“Good morning, Dean,” sabay-sabay naming sagot.

We sat in front of him as he continued.

“You all know about the upcoming Battle of the Bands, right? I want you to win.”

Serious siya.

“We’ll do our best, Dean. Don’t worry,” ako na ang sumagot.

He smiled. “I’ll be counting on that, Miss Amora. I’ll also be giving you an allowance for anything you might need.”

He talked more about the competition, kaya natagalan kami.

After that, we went to class—and once it ended, dumiretso kami sa music room.

---

“Anong tutugtugin natin?” tanong ni Venus.

Silence filled the room.

“I know one,” biglang sabi ni Zake, looking straight at me with a smile.

“What is it?” tanong ni Otis.

Zake reached for my hand. “We’ll play a Zara Larsson song.”

I smiled. Of course. He knows.

“Which one?” tanong ko.

“Ruin My Life.”

“Uy, bagay!” sang-ayon ni Otis.

“Perfect sa boses mo,” dagdag ni Venus, handing me my guitar.

“Let’s try it,” sabi ni Zake.

We positioned ourselves—and when we started playing, everything just… clicked.

They were right.

This might win it for us.

---

“Bilis, Celine!” sigaw ni Venus habang tumatakbo kami papunta sa university for rehearsal.

“Sandali!” hingal kong sagot.

But something felt off.

Kanina pa.

I slowed down, trying to think.

Ano ba ’yung mali?

Think.

Think.

Think, Celine—

My eyes widened.

“VENUS!”

She stopped and ran back to me. “What’s wrong?”

I grabbed her arm, panic creeping in.

“Kailangan nating bumalik sa bahay.”

“Ha? Bakit?”

I groaned, running my hand through my hair.

“Sa lahat pa talaga…”

I looked at her, stressed.

“I FORGOT MY GUITAR.”

CHAPTER 24 : PRIDE OF ETHEREAL UNIVERSITY

“Oh my God, Celine naman!” sigaw ni Venus habang tumatakbo ako papasok ng bahay para kunin ang gitara ko.

Diretso ako sa kwarto—and there it was, nakahiga sa kama.

Of all days… ngayon pa talaga.

I grabbed it and rushed downstairs. Pagdating ko, nakita ko si Venus naghihintay sa may pinto. Nang makita niya ako, agad na siyang lumabas.

“Celine, tara na! Malalate na tayo!” sigaw niya habang hinihila ako papasok ng kotse.

On the way to the university, I checked the time—7:35 PM.

Shit.

“Sa dami ng pwedeng makalimutan, gitara mo pa talaga?” inis na sabi ni Venus habang nagda-drive.

“Alam mo namang hindi ako makakatugtog kung hindi ’to,” sagot ko, gently brushing my fingers over the strings.

She sighed and focused on the road.

Habang nakatitig ako sa gitara ko… memories flooded in.

He was once my inspiration.

But we were never meant to be.

“Andito na tayo,” sabi ni Venus.

We quickly got out.

I looked around—students everywhere, fans already gathering.

“Suotin mo ’to. At check mo sintas mo. Ayoko na maulit ’yung last time,” sabi niya, handing me a facemask.

Napatawa ako. Naalala ko pa—hinabol kami ng fans, tapos nadapa ako dahil sa sintas ko.

“Ready?” she asked, putting on her sunglasses.

“Ready.”

We ran.

Hindi kami nakaligtas sa mga fans—sumunod agad sila—but we made it inside just in time.

“That was close,” hingal kong sabi, hands on my knees.

“Buti na lang bawal na sila dito sa building,” sagot ni Venus, napaupo sa sahig.

“Patay talaga tayo kung hindi.”

“Oy, andyan na pala kayo,” si Otis, papalapit. Tinulungan niya si Venus tumayo.

“Tara na, rehearsal muna,” dagdag niya, habang inaakbayan ako para sabay kaming maglakad.

“May pakinabang ka rin pala minsan,” asar ni Venus.

We laughed and headed to the audio room.

---

Pagpasok namin, nandoon na si Zake, inaayos ang gamit.

“Tagal niyo. Andoon na sa venue ’yung kalaban—mukhang malalakas,” sabi niya.

“Mas malakas tayo,” taas-noong sagot ni Venus.

“Tama. We are Nefarious—the unbeatable band,” dagdag ni Otis, tinaas pa ang gitara niya.

Umiling na lang ako at pumwesto sa gitna, inaayos ang mic.

After a quick rehearsal, we headed to the field.

8:10 PM.

Punong-puno ng tao.

I could already see the other bands.

Hindi ako kinakabahan sa ganito—one year na namin ’tong ginagawa.

Pero ngayon…

Bakit ganito?

“Dito daw tayo,” sabi ni Zake, pointing to our table backstage.

We sat down, waiting.

Different bands surrounded us.

Competitors.

“CR lang ako,” paalam ko.

They nodded.

---

Tahimik ang hallway papuntang restroom.

Busy ako sa pag-aayos ng bracelet ko when—

“AY!”

I bumped into someone.

Napaupo ako sa sahig, napaigik sa sakit sa tagiliran ko.

Pagtingin ko…

A pair of men’s shoes.

My heart started racing.

No…

Dahan-dahan kong tinaas ang tingin ko.

“…Tagan?”

He stood there.

Unmoving.

Cold.

Just like before.

The moment our eyes met, parang nawala ang hangin sa paligid.

Unti-unti akong tumayo, nanginginig ang kamay, nanlalambot ang tuhod.

“Tagan…” I whispered again.

“Long time no see,” malamig niyang sagot.

He hasn’t changed.

Still handsome.

Just… colder. More distant.

My chest tightened.

I wanted to hug him.

Cry.

Tell him how much I missed him.

But I held it in.

Celine, stop.

Tapos na ’to.

I was about to speak when his bandmates arrived.

“Tagan, tara na—mag-start na—” naputol si Aiden. “Oh—Celine? Ikaw ba ’yan?”

“Grabe, ang tagal na,” dagdag ni Tove.

I forced a small nod.

“I… I have to go.”

Nilampasan ko sila.

As I walked away, narinig ko ang usapan nila.

“Hindi pwedeng madistract. Kailangan natin manalo para masalba ang banda.”

“Focus, Tagan.”

Napalingon ako.

Masalba ang banda?

Anong nangyayari sa Cntrl S?

---

Inside the restroom, may dalawang babaeng nag-aayos.

I ignored them and went inside a cubicle.

Paglabas ko, narinig ko sila.

“Sa tingin mo mananalo ang Cntrl S?”

“Kailangan. Kapag hindi, ipapahinto na sila ng dean. Kasalanan ni Aiden—nakipag-away sa anak ng dean.”

So that’s it.

They need this.

---

Pagbalik ko sa table, tahimik na ako.

The contest started.

Pangatlo kami.

Cntrl S—next.

“Let’s welcome the pride of Ethereal University— NEFARIOUS! “

We stepped onto the stage.

Palakpakan.

I looked at Zake.

He nodded.

“1… 2… 3… let’s go.”

The music started.

I stepped forward and sang—

(Ruin My Life – Zara Larsson)

“I miss you pushing me close to the edge…”

Then I saw him.

Tagan.

Standing there.

Watching me.

“You set fire to my world, couldn’t handle the heat…”

His eyes were still cold—

but somehow,

they still felt like home.

“I want you to ruin my life…”

My voice trembled.

This song…

This is for you.

And I still love you.

The music continued.

But I couldn’t.

Hindi ko tinapos ang kanta.

I stepped back.

Then I ran.

---

Inside the restroom, I locked myself in a cubicle.

I broke down.

Hugging my knees, shaking.

Iniwan ko sila.

Iniwan ko ang banda ko.

Because…

---

“AND THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR’S BATTLE OF THE BANDS IS…”

A pause.

“ CNTRL S FROM MONDRIAN UNIVERSITY! “

---

I closed my eyes, tears falling silently.

I wanted him to win.

Even if it meant losing everything we built.

CHAPTER 25 : STRENGTH

I could still hear the crowd cheering for Cntrl S .

I stayed inside the restroom until the noise slowly faded. When everything went quiet, I finally faced the mirror. My eyeliner was smudged.

I fixed it.

I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.

I hate it.  Just one look at him… and I become this weak.

After all these years—

he still has the same effect.

---

When I stepped out, I didn’t go back.

I walked past the university gates.

I needed to be alone.

I ended up in a small park nearby. I wore my facemask and sat on a bench beside the playground, watching the kids laugh and run freely.

They looked so happy.

I wish it was that easy… to smile like that.  But the moment I saw him again—

everything came rushing back. The pain.

The memories. The emotions I buried so deep I thought they were gone. They all came back at once—filling my chest, clouding my mind.

Him.

Only him.

---

Then it hit me.

What I did. Napakagat ako sa labi.

“Ang tanga-tanga mo, Celine…”

I punched my thigh in frustration. I left them. My band. My family. I promised them we’d win.

Pero anong ginawa mo?  “My God… ang tanga mo.” I hit my thigh again, harder this time.

“I’m too weak…”

Akala ko okay na ako. Akala ko kaya ko na. Akala ko mas mahal ko na ang sarili ko kaysa kahit sino.

But the moment he’s there— I forget everything.

I become selfless.  Sa kanya… ibibigay ko lahat.  Tears streamed down my face again.

“Stupid…”

---

I stayed there for an hour. Just crying. Breaking.

---

“Celine.”

Napalingon ako.

It was Zake. He was running towards me, worry written all over his face. The moment he reached me, I stood up and hugged him tightly.

I broke down again in his arms.

“I’m sorry… hindi ko sinasadya…” I whispered. He tightened his hold, gently rubbing my back.

But inside my head—  Hindi mo sinasadya?

I know. But at that moment…

I wasn’t thinking straight. All I knew was—

I didn’t want his band to fall apart.

---

Hinahatid ako ni Zake sa condo ko.

Pagpasok namin— “TANGINA NAMAN, CELINE!”

Napapikit ako. Venus. Galit na galit.

“Sorry…” bulong ko, tears forming again.

“Hanggang ngayon magpapakatanga ka pa rin sa Tagan? Hindi ka pa ba nadala? Ano ka ba—boba ka na ba?!”

I shook my head, crying harder.

“I still love him…” Her face hardened.

“Love mo pa rin? Dahil sa kanya muntik ka nang mapahamak noon! Tapos ngayon, nakita mo lang siya—parang walang nangyari?!”

I couldn’t answer. I just cried.

“Alam ko…” mahina kong sabi. “Hindi ako nag-iisip kanina…”

“HINDI KA NAG-IISIP?!” sigaw niya. “SIYA LANG NASA ISIP MO! Alam mo ba kung gaano tayo napahiya?! IKAW pa nangako sa dean—tapos iniwan mo kami sa stage?!”

Sa sobrang galit niya, sinipa niya ang gitara ko.

Napabagsak iyon sa sahig.

And that broke me even more. Sabay bumukas ang pinto. Zake and Otis. Otis quickly went to Venus, trying to calm her down.

Zake held my hands, lifting my face gently.

“It’s okay, Celine,” he whispered, wiping my tears. I hugged him again.

And cried.

---

After that night— Venus avoided me.

She stayed with Otis. Zake… stayed with me.

---

Ngayon, nakaupo ako sa bench sa university field, staring blankly ahead.

Then I saw him—Zake—walking towards me. “Celine, tara na. Pinapatawag tayo ni Dean.”

He reached out his hand. I took it. Tahimik kaming naglakad.

“Hey,” he said softly, lifting my chin. “Don’t be sad. Magiging okay din ang lahat.” He smiled.

I tried to smile back— but it felt fake.  It’s your fault, Celine. Face it.

“It’s okay. Nandito lang ako,” he whispered before opening the door.

---

Inside, nandun na sina Venus at Otis.

I sat beside Zake.

I tried to look at them— but Venus avoided my gaze. Otis gave me a small, awkward smile… then looked away.

Ano ba tong nagawa mo…

---

“Miss Amora,” the dean said, disappointment clear in his voice. “What happened?”

“I’m so sorry, Dean…”

I lowered my head. “I expected more from your band,” he continued. “I expected a trophy. Recognition. But you failed. I trusted you.”

My hands trembled. Zake held them tightly.  Don’t cry… please don’t cry…

“Sorry po, Dean,” Otis spoke. “Hindi na po mauulit. Babawi po kami.”

The dean nodded, but the disappointment remained.

He dismissed us.

---

Paglabas pa lang—

I broke.

Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko and fell to my knees. “I’m so sorry…”

I looked at them, crying uncontrollably. “I’m sorry… kasalanan ko ’to. Please… patawarin niyo ako…” Zake immediately knelt in front of me.

“We already forgave you, Celine,” he said gently. “Lahat nagkakamali.”

“I mean it… I’m really sorry…” nanginginig ang kamay ko habang nagmamakaawa.

Then Otis and Venus knelt beside him. “Hey… don’t overdo it,” Venus said softly this time, holding my hands.

“Of course we forgive you,” Otis added with a small grin. “Ikaw pa ba? Mahal ka namin.” That broke me even more.

I threw myself into them, hugging all three tightly.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

“Ano ka ba, paulit-ulit,” Venus muttered, though her voice was softer now.

“Tama na ’yan,” Otis teased. “Tignan mo si Venus—kanina pa ’yan pigil na pigil umiyak.” Napatingin ako sa kanya.

She was crying too. We all laughed through our tears, wiping them away.

“Bawi tayo next time, okay?” she said.

I nodded. Then I looked at Zake. He smiled.

“I told you… it’s gonna be fine.”

I hugged them tighter. And for the first time since everything happened—

I felt like I could breathe again.  My strength… is back.

CHAPTER 26 : MYSTICAL CLUB

Bumalik sa dati ang Nefarious . We focused on catching up, taking gigs around the university to recover from what we lost.

Sunod-sunod ang pagtanggap namin ng performances—from clubs to events—lahat para mabawi ang nangyari sa battle of the bands.

Pero kahit anong gawin ko, hindi mawala ang guilt.

Kasalanan ko ’to. Kung hindi dahil sa katangahan ko, hindi kami mapupunta sa ganito.

But despite that, Venus, Otis, and Zake never made me feel it. After they forgave me, everything went back to how it used to be—laughing, performing, living like nothing broke.

---

Ngayon, nandito kami sa Mystical Club for another gig.

“Ready na ba kayo?” tanong ni Miss Jane, ang manager ng club.

We all nodded and followed her to the stage.

We performed. The crowd loved it. After, Miss Jane offered us drinks and even gave us a VIP room para hindi kami maabala ng fans.

Tinanggap namin. Libre naman.

---

“Yes! Libreng inuman!” masayang sigaw ni Otis habang nilalapag ang mga beer sa mesa.

“Cheers!” Sabay-sabay naming tinaas ang baso.

Juice lang ang akin. Venus and Otis went straight for hard drinks, habang si Zake tahimik na umiinom ng vodka.

Nagkwentuhan kami, nagtawanan—lalo na kay Otis na parang walang katapusang kwento.

“Putik sabi pa nung manong—‘bata, saan nakatira yung bahay?’” sigaw niya.

Halatang lasing na. Venus and Zake laughed.

---

“Guys, CR lang ako,” paalam ko.

“Samahan kita,” alok ni Venus, medyo lasing na. Umiling ako. “No, I can manage.”

Napatingin ako kay Zake. He was watching me quietly. I smiled, then walked out.

---

Habang naglalakad ako sa hallway, I saw him.

Tagan. Walking straight towards me.

My steps faltered. My hands started trembling. His eyes locked onto mine—cold, unreadable. My chest tightened.  No… not again.

I quickened my pace, trying to avoid him, turning towards the restroom, but he grabbed my arm. I froze.

He pulled me to face him. His jaw tightened when I tried to avoid his gaze. “Ahm… may problema ba?” I stuttered.

“Where are you going?” he asked, serious. Tinuro ko ang restroom sign.

“I need to go, Tagan. Please… let me go.” My knees were shaking.

“Can we talk?” Before I could answer, hinila niya ako papunta sa isang VIP room malapit doon. He closed the door. Locked it.

---

“Anong pag-uusapan natin?” I asked, trying to steady my voice.

He sat across from me, arms resting casually. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. Thank you. Pwede na ba akong umalis?” I need to get out. The longer I stay— the weaker I get.

“Umupo ka muna.” 

“Wala naman tayong kailangang pag-usapan, Tagan.” I turned toward the door.

“I miss you.” I froze. Slowly, I turned back to him.

“What?” almost a whisper. He just looked at me. Like he said nothing.

“Did I say something?” he added. I frowned. I heard it.

But now— he’s acting like he didn’t. Still playing games. Still messing with me.

---

“Wala. Aalis na ako,” I said, opening the door.

But he slammed it shut. Locked again.

“Hindi pa tayo tapos,” he said, gripping my arm. Napaiwas ako, tinulak siya palayo.

“Wala tayong dapat pag-usapan! Hinahanap na ako ng banda ko!” My voice shook.

I was losing control. Any second now, I might give in.

---

“Gusto kitang makita ulit,” he said. “After this. Let’s go out.” My eyes widened.

“Para saan?”

After five years, now this? “I don’t know,” he said casually, hands in his pockets.

“What? Are you crazy?”

“I think so,” he chuckled, stepping closer.

Closer.

Too close. He lifted my chin, forcing me to face him. His lips hovered near mine—barely touching, just enough to make my breath hitch.

Our eyes met. Locked.

“Let’s date, Celine,” he whispered. I don’t know what happened to me.

Parang nawala ang sarili ko. Like I was pulled back into him—into everything I tried to forget. And before I could stop myself, I nodded.

CHAPTER 27 : INCOMPLETE

“Celine, saan ka pupunta?” tanong ni Venus habang nagmamadali akong ayusin ang gamit ko matapos ang rehearsal.

“I have to go. May gagawin lang ako,” sagot ko habang inilalagay ang gitara sa case.

“Teka, diba kakain tayo sa labas?” singit ni Otis.

Tinignan ko siya at ngumiti. “Kayo na lang muna. Bawi ako next time. Bye.”

Sinuot ko ang bag at case ng gitara ko at hindi na sila hinintay pang magtanong. Pinanood lang nila ako hanggang sa makalabas ako ng music room.

---

I ran down the building and headed straight to the parking lot.

Then I saw him.

Tagan. Nakatayo sa tabi ng Raptor niya, busy sa phone.

I walked towards him. Napansin niya ako agad—he looked up and gave me a grin before stepping closer, kinuha ang gamit ko at nilagay sa sasakyan niya.

Pinanood ko lang siya. Pagkatapos, binuksan niya ang pinto sa passenger seat.

“As you please,” he smirked. I got in.

He closed the door, then went around and took the driver’s seat. “Where to?” he asked, starting the engine.

“I don’t know.”

Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. Nasa tabi ko siya. Nasa kotse niya ako.  We’re really going on a date.

My heart was pounding—out of happiness. He smirked. “Then my rules.” We drove out of the university.

---

The whole ride, I kept biting my lip, trying to stop myself from smiling.

“Stop biting it. I might bite it too.”

Napalingon ako sa kanya—pero nakatutok lang siya sa kalsada.

My face heated up. I quickly looked away, staring out the window.

---

Huminto kami sa isang club.

“I have a gig later, so dito na lang tayo. Para hindi hassle,” sabi niya habang tinatanggal ang seatbelt ko.

Napatigil ang hininga ko. He didn’t move away right after.

His eyes dropped to my lips. “This has been tempting me the whole ride.”

He gave me a quick kiss.

Then got out of the car and opened my door. Nakatulala pa rin ako. Napansin niya iyon, and he chuckled before grabbing my wrist and guiding me out.

“Tara.”

---

Pagpasok namin sa loob, marami nang tao kahit 5 PM pa lang.

He placed his cap on my head before pulling me inside.

Yumuko na lang ako. Ayokong may makakita sa’min.

---

We entered a VIP room.

But instead of drinks— may nakahandang pagkain.

Carbonara. Lasagna. Plates for two. Napatingin ako sa kanya. He was already looking at me.

“Let’s have a decent date. Kahit dito lang,” he said, gently pushing me to sit. He sat across from me.

“Let’s eat.”

He started eating. Ako… nakatingin lang.

This feels unreal.  Parang panaginip lang kagabi.

“What’s the problem?” he asked. “Wala,” I smiled awkwardly and started eating.

---

Tahimik lang kami hanggang— bumukas ang pinto.“OH SHOCKS!” sigaw ni Aiden.

Napalingon ako. Tove smiled at me.

I glanced at Tagan—irritated na irritated ang mukha niya. “Nakakaistorbo ba kami, Gan?” tanong ni Tove habang pumapasok sila.

Umupo sila sa tabi niya. Kumuha pa si Aiden ng tinapay sa plato ni Tagan.

“What the fuck,” singhal ni Tagan. Aiden just grinned while eating.

---

“Kamusta ka na, Celine? Long time no see,” nakangiting sabi ni Tove habang umaakbay kay Tagan.

“I didn’t expect this either,” sagot ko. “Tsk,” tinanggal ni Tagan ang kamay ni Tove.

“Namiss kita, Celine,” sabi ni Aiden, puno ang bibig. Napatawa ako.

“Siya nga pala, congrats. Ang bilis niyong sumikat,” sabi ni Tove. “Maganda na boses mo, maganda ka pa.” I felt myself blush.

“Thank you.”

“Mas gumanda ka ngayon… and sexy,” dagdag ni Aiden. Biglang tumayo si Tagan at itinulak silang dalawa palayo bago lumabas ng room.

Tinawanan lang siya nila Aiden at Tove.

“Mag-CR lang ’yon,” sabi ni Tove habang kumakain ng pagkain ni Tagan.

---

In the end, sila na ang nakausap ko habang kumakain.

Pagbalik ni Tagan, masama ang tingin niya sa’kin.

Kinuha niya ang gitara niya. “Tara na. Start na,” malamig niyang sabi sa dalawa. Lumapit siya sa’kin, inayos ulit ang cap ko at pinatayo ako.

“SUWABE, PARE!” asar ni Aiden.

Hindi niya pinansin.

---

Dinala niya ako sa table malapit sa stage. Pinaupo niya ako.

Then he leaned close. “Watch me here. Don’t drink,” he whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek before going up the stage.

---

My heart was racing habang pinapanood siya. Same feeling.

Just like before. They started playing. And nothing changed.

Magaling pa rin sila. Mesmerizing. My eyes stayed on him—strumming his guitar.

Minsan tumitingin siya sa’kin. At sa tuwing mangyayari ’yon, umiiwas ako.

---

After their performance, dinumog sila ng tao.

I lowered my head and quietly slipped out.

I waited outside, beside his car.

---

I checked my phone. Instagram. Story ni Venus. Nasa café sila, kumakain ng cake.

Caption:

“Incomplete.”

My chest tightened. Ako ’yon.

---

“Hey.” Napatingin ako.

Tagan. Agad kong binulsa ang phone ko at tumayo ng maayos. “Bakit ka umalis?” may inis sa boses niya.

“Dito na kita hinintay… baka may makakita sa’kin sa loob,” sagot ko, avoiding his stare. “I told you to wait.”

Lumapit siya. Too close. Napaatras ako hanggang sumandal ako sa sasakyan. He leaned in. His nose brushing near my lips—sniffing.

“I don’t drink, okay?” I said. Nang umatras siya— dumaan ang labi niya sa labi ko, hanggang sa ilong ko. On purpose. I glared at him.

“Good girl,” he said, opening the car door behind me. Napatulak ako papunta sa kanya.

Napahilig ako sa dibdib niya. “Oops. My bad.” He helped me inside, then went around.

---

He was smiling the whole drive. Until we reached my condo.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. I nodded. Watched him drive away.

---

This is insane.

But…

I still want more.

CHAPTER 28 : MAGHINTAY

“Hoy, Celine! Saan ka na naman pupunta? May gig tayo mamaya!” sigaw ni Venus habang naglalakad ako palayo sa kanila.

Nilingon ko siya. Nasa harap sila ng music room kasama sina Otis at Zake. Halatang nagtataka dahil lumagpas ako.

“Habol ako, promise! May pupuntahan lang ako—byeeee!” sigaw ko habang tumatakbo papunta sa elevator.

---

I sneaked out to the parking lot and went straight to Tagan’s Raptor.

Pagpasok ko, nakita ko siya—nakasuot ng black hoodie at may salamin.

“What took you so long?” halata ang inis sa mukha niya.

Ngumiti lang ako. “May ina-announce pa kasi ’yung prof namin. Sorry.” I made a peace sign in front of him.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at hinila ako palapit.

He kissed me—quick but enough to make my heart race—then gently pushed me back to my seat and fixed my seatbelt.

Ngumiti lang ako, pero sa loob, halos hindi ako mapakali sa kilig.

“You’re blushing,” he teased habang inaayos ang upo niya at pinaandar ang sasakyan.

“Hindi ah.” Tumingin na lang ako sa bintana.

Narinig ko siyang may ginayang kung ano, pero hindi ko na pinansin.

---

It’s been two weeks since we started seeing each other.

After classes, madalas kaming magkasama. Minsan hindi na ako nakakapasok sa practice ng banda dahil may lakad kami.

He brings me to his gigs… minsan sa park lang. We stay for hours—talking, playing our guitars.

---

Napansin kong medyo mahaba ang biyahe.

“Where are we going?” tanong ko.

Saglit niya akong sinulyapan, then continued driving.

Napansin ko na rin—palayo na kami sa university. Parang palabas na ng Manila.

Kinakabahan na ako, pero hindi ko pinapakita.

Tumahimik na lang ako at tumingin sa labas.

Hanggang sa bumigat ang talukap ng mata ko…

…and I fell asleep.

---

Nagising ako nang buksan ni Tagan ang pinto sa side ko.

Pinunasan ko ang mata ko habang binubuhat niya ako palabas ng sasakyan. I stood properly after.

Tumingin ako sa paligid.

“Nasaan tayo?”

Ramdam ko ang malamig na hangin.

“Tagaytay,” sagot niya.

I knew it.

Tinignan ko ang oras—5 PM.

2:30 PM ako umalis ng university.

Shocks.

May gig kami mamayang 7.

Paano ako babalik?

---

“May problema ba?” tanong niya.

No, Celine. Don’t ruin this.

Ito na ’yung chance mo.

“Wala,” I said, holding his hand and smiling. “Bakit nga pala tayo andito?”

---

Naglakad kami papunta sa isang park.

Umupo kami sa bench, nakatanaw sa view.

“I don’t know… gusto ko lang dito,” sabi niya.

Tumingin ako sa kanya.

He looked different.

Malambot ang expression niya. Mapungay ang mga mata habang nakatingin sa tanawin.

“Let’s just stay here for a while.”

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at pinag-intertwine ang mga daliri namin.

My heart pounded.

We stayed like that.

Quiet.

Peaceful.

---

Kinuha niya ang gitara niya at nagsimulang tumugtog.

The melody was soft. Beautiful.

Pinakinggan ko lang siya hanggang matapos.

Pagkatapos, hinawakan niya ulit ang kamay ko.

“You have no idea how priceless you make me feel, Celine,” he whispered.

Napakunot-noo ako.

“Tagan… anong ibig mong sabihin?”

---

“Hindi ko alam ang meaning ng love simula pa noon,” sabi niya. “Kaya hindi ko naibigay sa’yo dati. Hanggang ngayon… hindi ko pa rin alam.”

Nanlamig ako.

“But I know one thing—I want you beside me.”

Hinigpitan niya ang hawak sa kamay ko.

“So please… stay like this with me. Until I figure it out.”

Sincerity was written all over his face.

---

Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko.

Magulo.

Pero masaya.

I hugged him.

Napaluha ako, kaya mas lalo kong hinigpitan ang yakap ko.

“Handa akong maghintay, Tagan,” bulong ko.

---

Mas naging madalas ang pagkikita namin mula noon.

At noong araw na ’yon—

hindi na natuloy ang gig namin.

Hindi ako nakabalik agad ng Manila.

Sinabi ko na lang kina Venus na masama ang pakiramdam ko.

Naintindihan naman nila.

Pero alam kong mali.

I lied.

I failed one of our gigs.

Pero mas importante sa’kin si Tagan.

We’re getting closer to what I’ve always wanted.

---

Tagan is trying.

Trying to understand love.

Trying to love me.

And I’m willing to wait.

To help him.

To stay.

---

Hindi ko na palalampasin ’to.

Alam ko sa sarili ko—

mahal ko pa rin siya.

At handa akong magsakripisyo ulit para sa kanya.

---

Saturday.

Weekend.

Late na akong nagising—1 PM na.

Napuyat ako sa gig kagabi. After that, kumain pa kami ni Tagan sa labas.

Umuwi ako sa bahay this weekend, hindi sa condo.

Wala namang pasok.

---

Nag-shower ako, then nagpalit ng simple—shorts at sleeveless.

Kumain ako kasama si Mommy, then bumalik sa kwarto.

Nanood ng Netflix.

Nakinig ng music.

Nag-scroll.

Naglaro.

Hanggang sa hindi ko namalayang gabi na.

---

Papalabas na sana ako para mag-dinner nang tumunog ang phone ko.

It was a text.

From Zake.

From Zake:

Celine, let’s go out. Coffee with the band. Are you in?

Then another—

From Venus.

From Venus:

Celine, kain tayo sa labas nila Zake. 8 PM, G?

I was about to reply—

when another message came in.

---

From Tagan:

To my condo. 8 PM. See you.

CHAPTER 29 : KISS

“Darling, saan ka pupunta? Gabi na ah. Mamaya uuwi na ang kuya at daddy mo from the airport,” tanong ni Mommy nang makita niya akong pababa ng hagdan.

I was wearing simple blue jeans and an oversized printed tee, dala ang sling bag ko.

“Mommy, kakain lang po kami sa labas ng banda,” sagot ko, sabay kiss sa cheek niya.

“Okay, take care.”

“Yes, Mom. Bye.”

Tumakbo ako palabas at sumakay ng taxi.

“Saan po tayo, ma’am?” tanong ng driver.

“Salazar Condominium po, manong.”

Kinuha ko ang phone ko at nag-text kay Venus.

---

To Venus:

Sorry, can’t come. Family time. You go enjoy without me.

---

Napabuntong-hininga ako bago ko i-send.

I know I’m lying.

Pero gusto ko lang makasama si Tagan ngayon.

---

Mabilis akong nakarating sa condo niya.

Nag-text ako pagdating sa lobby, at agad siyang bumaba.

Paglabas niya ng elevator, suot niya ang gray sweatpants at oversized black hoodie, may salamin pa—halatang pambahay.

Magulo ang buhok niya.

Cute… and hot.

“It’s 8:05 already. You’re five minutes late, lady,” sabi niya, sabay akbay sa bewang ko habang papasok kami sa elevator.

“Five minutes lang ’yan, pagbigyan mo na,” biro ko.

He just smirked.

Napapalambot ko na ba siya?

---

Huminto kami sa 13th floor.

Pagpasok sa unit niya, napansin ko agad—malinis, may vintage feel. May mga posters sa wall, at ilang albums na naka-display.

Napatingin ako sa isa.

That album.

The one I gave him five years ago.

Pero tinapon niya ’yon noon…

Bumili ba siya ulit?

---

Habang naglilibot ako, pumunta siya sa kusina at may inilapag sa mesa.

Lumapit ako.

Blueberry cheesecake.

“Kumakain ka pala nito? Akala ko hindi ka mahilig sa matatamis,” sabi ko, hindi maitago ang bahagyang pait sa boses ko.

“I bought it for you,” sagot niya. “Hindi ko alam kung anong gusto mong kainin.”

He sliced it and pushed a plate towards me.

Tinitigan niya ako habang tumitikim ako.

Masarap naman.

Pero busog pa ako.

“I’m still full,” sabi ko, sabay inom ng tubig.

Napansin kong hindi siya kumakain.

“Bakit hindi ka kumain?”

“I don’t like sweets,” sagot niya, walang gana.

Napatingin ako sa kanya.

“Kaya pala hindi mo tinatanggap mga binibigay ko noon… hindi mo gusto ang sweets, o hindi mo lang ako gusto?”

Diretso ko siyang tinignan.

Nanlamig ang mga mata niya.

I started trembling.

“I don’t like both,” sabi niya. “But I think… I should try it now.”

Napayuko ako.

Masakit.

But before I could pull away, hinawakan niya ang baba ko at pinaharap ako sa kanya.

“Gusto kong mag-bake ka ulit,” sabi niya.

“Matagal na akong tumigil…”

“Then try again.”

Tinuro niya ang kusina.

Napatingin ako—kumpleto ang baking ingredients.

“Bakit ka bumili ng mga ’to?”

“I want you to bake for me.”

Hinawakan niya ang balikat ko at dahan-dahang itinulak papunta sa kusina.

“Pero baka hindi na ako marunong…”

“I’ll help you.”

---

And somehow—

na-excite ako.

---

Nagsimula kaming mag-bake.

Tinulungan niya ako sa paghalo ng flour at baking powder.

I was smiling.

Parang panaginip lang dati… pero ngayon, totoo na.

“Tagan, tikman mo ’to,” sabi ko habang naghihiwa ng strawberries.

Sinawsaw niya ang daliri niya sa mixture at tinikman.

Napangiti ako.

“Hindi ko alam kung okay ’to,” sabi niya.

Napabuntong-hininga ako at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

Tinignan ko, then—

tinikman ko rin ’yung mixture sa daliri niya.

“Okay naman—”

Naputol ako.

He went still.

Nakatitig lang sa akin.

“May problema ba?”

“You shouldn’t do that,” sabi niya, mas mababa na ang boses.

Napatingin ako sa ginawa ko.

Oh my God…

“I’m sorry, hindi ko—”

Naputol ang sasabihin ko.

Lumapit siya.

And instead of words—

he brushed the side of my lips, wiping off the trace of batter.

Napahinto ako.

He stepped closer, hinawakan ang bewang ko.

“Hindi ka dapat gumagawa ng mga bagay na hindi mo kayang panindigan, Amora,” bulong niya.

“Dapat simple lang ’to… but you keep doing things that make it harder.”

Hindi ko maintindihan kung anong ibig niyang sabihin—

until he leaned closer.

And then—

he kissed me.

CHAPTER 30 : DREAM

R -18 read at your own risk

“Tagan…” I tried to pull away from his kiss, but he only followed, capturing my lips again and again.

My words dissolved between his kisses.

Wala na akong nagawa kundi tumugon—his kisses were hypnotizing, consuming me completely. Bumaba ang halik niya sa leeg ko, and I closed my eyes, feeling them burn against my skin like slow fire.

“Tagan, sandali… nagba-bake tayo—”

Naputol ang salita ko nang bigla niyang itaboy ang mga baking equipment sa lababo. Some clattered loudly, ignored.

He lifted me effortlessly and sat me on the sink.

With him standing between my legs.

He resumed kissing my skin, deeper this time, while his hands moved freely along my waist and thighs. I shifted slightly, trying to steady myself—but the small movement pulled him away for a second.

“The fuck, Celine…” he growled, pulling me back to him before his lips found my neck again.

“Ah—” napasinghap ako nang maramdaman ko ang madiin niyang kagat, followed by slow, lingering pressure that sent shivers through me.

His hand slipped to the hem of my shirt, lifting it gradually—until I felt the cool air brush against my skin.

Napakagat ako sa labi ko, both from embarrassment and the unfamiliar intensity of everything.

He guided my hands to his shoulders, forcing me to face him as he kissed me again—slower this time, almost teasing.

His touch softened for a moment, then deepened again as his lips trailed downward, leaving a path that made my breathing uneven.

“Tagan…” mahina kong tawag, searching for something to hold onto.

My hand reached back for support—but landed on the bowl of cake mix instead, coating my fingers.

Napatingin siya doon.

Then, without breaking eye contact, he took my hand and slowly cleaned it—his gaze fixed on mine the entire time.

The gesture alone made my heart race.

When he leaned in again, his kiss was rougher—more demanding.

I found myself pulling him closer.

“Tagan… mali ’to…” I whispered, but even I could hear how weak it sounded.

And that was the last clear thought I had.

---

Everything after that blurred into heat and sensation.

His movements were urgent, impatient—like he was holding himself back for too long.

Napasinghap ako, napakapit sa kanya as unfamiliar sensations rushed through me, overwhelming and confusing at the same time.

“Celine…” his voice was low, strained.

I could barely respond.

All I knew was how fast my heart was beating, how everything felt too much—too intense, too consuming.

Pain flickered for a moment—

then slowly melted into something else.

Something I couldn’t even name.

“Tagan…” I called, my voice breaking.

He moved against me with urgency, his breath uneven against my skin.

Everything built up too quickly.

Too much.

Until—

“Tagan!” I gasped, gripping him tightly as everything finally crashed over me.

For a moment, everything went still.

My breathing was uneven, my body trembling as I tried to catch up with what just happened.

He stayed close, his forehead resting against mine, his eyes darker now—softer, but still intense.

“I’ll clean you up,” he murmured.

---

This time, I felt it.

The sudden wave of embarrassment creeping in.

Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko habang ginagawa niya iyon, unable to meet his eyes.

When he was done, he carried me again—this time more gently—and brought me to his room.

He sat me at the edge of the bed, grabbed a clean hoodie, and helped me wear it.

Then he laid me down carefully, covering me with a blanket.

A soft kiss landed on my forehead.

And just like that—

he left the room.

---

Everything felt heavy.

My body. My thoughts.

My emotions.

I didn’t even realize when my eyes closed.

---

If this was a dream… I don’t think I ever want to wake up.

CHAPTER 31

Naalimpungatan ako ng may tumamang sinag ng araw saking mukha, dahan dahan kong minulat ang aking mga mata at sumalubong sakin ang kulay itim na kisame ng silid na ito. Teka this is not my room I move a bit but my whole body aches lalo na ang gitnang bahagi ng aking katawan.

I’m about to stand up when something embrace my waist, agad kong nilingon kung saan nanggagaling iyon only to find out that Tagan is sleeping beside me.

Nakaramdam ako ng kaba saking buong katawan ng maalala ko ang nangyari samin ni Tagan,I tried to slowly remove his arms around my waist pero mas lalo niya lang akong hinila papalapit sakanya at hinigpitan ang yakap.

I glance at the window and got shock dahil umaga na baka hinahanap na ako samin oh my…

“Tagan I need to go” I whisper, I tried to remove his arms again.

He just groans and tightens the hug.

“Tagan kailangan konang umuwi” this time he slowly opens his eyes and look at me.

He just create a small smile before kissing me, agad ko siyang tinulak ng  maalala ko na kakagising ko lang. he chuckle a little and crush his lips against mine again. I’m too weak to avoid his kisses kaya tinugunan ko nalamang ito.

His kisses deepen and I feel his hands roam around my tummy, “I love you” I whisper between our lips pero he just smile at me and give me soft kisses on my jaw through my neck.

Nagsisimula na akong madala sa kanyang mga  halik ng biglang tumunog ang aking cellphone, bumalik ako sa katinuan at agad hinanap ng mata ko ang cellphone ko nasa sahig ito beside my sling bag.

“Tagan sandali” I push his shoulder para  malayo siya sakin, I seated at the bed and try to reach my phone.

Nangmakuha ko ito my eyes widened when I saw 300 miss calls from Venus,Zake,Otis,Mom, and lastly from my kuya.

Oh my god!

Agad akong bumaba sa kama ni Tagan at hindi na pinansin ang kirot ng aking gitnang bahagi, I run through his kitchen and get my jeans mabilis ko itong sinuot at at inayos ang aking sarili.

Habang busy ako sa pagaayos nakita kong lumabas si Tagan sa kwarto niya wearing his boxers and his messy hair.

“Aalis na ako hinahanap na ako samin” I said and run through the door but he grabs my wrist pulled me for a hug.

“I’m too worthless to have a priceless woman like you Celine but I’m desperate to claim you as mine” he whisper and kiss my forehead I just smiled at his and went out of his condo.

Takbo at lakad na ang ginagawa ko palabas ng condominium ni Tagan, mabilis akong pumara ng Taxi pauwi samin.

As I enter the house they were all looking at me, lahat sila andito my band, mom and dad also my kuya, mabilis na tumakbo sakin si Mommy at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.“Oh darling where have you been? I was so worried” my mom’s voice crack and she started crying.

“Mom I’m fine” I said.

Nakita kong nakahinga nang maluwag si daddy and went near me and hug me. “you made us all worry Celine”

“I’m sorry” hinila ni daddy palayo sakin si mommy “I’ll just let your mom rest dahil wala itong tulog kakahintay sayo” I can hear dismay on my father’s voice and he pull my mom up stairs.

“saan ka galing Yashyashree!” madiin na bigkas ni kuya habang nakatitig sakin tila inaalam ang nararamdaman ko.

“wala kuya sa condo ako pumunta” I said and tried to walk up stairs para makapasok na  sa kwarto ko. “where not done talking lady!” tinignan ko si kuya with a tried face “kuya please just let me go I want to rest” nagpatuloy ako sa pagakyat sa kwarto ko at humiga sa kama.

Pumasok rin dito si Venus “Celine mag sabi ka ng totoo saan ka galing? Pumunta ako kagabi sa condo mo pero wala ka doon!” bakas ang iritasyon sa boses ni Venus and that also give me irritation.

“Bakit ba ang dami nyong tanong gusto ko ngang magpahinga diba!”

“Tyaka ano yang suot mo Celine hindi ba Hoodie yan ni Tagan! wag mong sabihin na siya ang kasama mo buong magdamag? Celine nababaliw kana ba ah! Ano nagpapakatanga ka nanaman sa lalakeng yon kaya ba hindi kana sumasama samin kaya ba umaabsent ka na sa mga gig natin ah siya ba ang punyetang dahilan ah celine!?” she already shouting at me.

Sumasakit ang ulo ko kaya mas lalo akong natutuliro sa paraan ng pagsigaw niya.

“Tangina Celine ito ka nanaman eh nagpapakatanga sa walang kwentang lalake na hindi ka naman kayang mahalin!”

Parang tumindig ang balahibo ko at pumintig rin ang tenga ko dahil sa sinabi niya, I stand up in front of her and face her!

“Wala kang karapatang sabihan siya ng walang kwenta Venus!”

“Bakit mahal kana ba niya ngayon o baka naman ginagamit ka lang niya Celi—–” I stop her with a slap.

“Bago ka magbitaw ng salita Venus tignan mo muna ang sarili mo kung may silbi ka rin!” nagdidilim na ang paningin ko sa galit wala siyang karapatan sabihin iyon kay Tagan.

She look at me with disbelief while holding her cheeks na sinampal ko. I’m too angry now to think about my conscience for slapping her.

“Sige Celine magbulag bulagan ka basta ito ang tandaan mo pagsinaktan ka ulit ng gagong yon’ wag na wag ka nang aasa sakin!” tumalikod siya at mabilis lumabas ng kwarto ko, when she went out of the door nakita ko doon sa labas si Otis at Zake they look at me before following Venus down stairs.

Mga ilang saglit lang ay pumasok si Kuya sa kwarto ko “Celine layuan mo na ang lalakeng iyon wala siyang maidudulot na maganda para sayo!” he said with full authority.

“Wala kayong karapatan para diktahan ako sa gusto ko!” I shouted at him at tumakbo palabas ng bahay dala ang sling bag ko, gusto kong umalis dito.

Habang palabas ako ng gate, tears fell from my eyes. Bakit ba hindi nalang nila ako hayaan, Tagan is starting to love me hindi nila siya kilala tanging ako lang ang nakakaalam kung ano ang totoong Tagan, kaya kahit anong paninira ang sabihin nila sakanya mananaig parin ang pag ibig ko para sakanya.

I went to his condo and the doors are open kaya dirediretso na akong pumasok but I stop when I hear him talking with someone.

“Pare bumabagsak na ang banda nila Celine sa tingin ko tama na yong ginagawa mo kay Celine sobra na” it was Aiden.

They were talking at living room while facing the window kaya hindi nila ako napansing pumasok. “baka naman kasi totoo na ang nararamdaman ni Tagan kay Celine kaya ayaw niya ng tumigil” Tove stated.

Aiden smirk at Tagan, hindi ko makita ang mukha ni Tagan dahil nakatalikod siya saakin hindi kagaya ni Aiden at tove na medyo nakatagilid.

“No that won’t happen I’m just using her to destroy their band so we’ll win the battle next moth”

I gasp and slowly went out of that room…

This can’t be happening….

CHAPTER 32

After I step out of that building hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta, natutuliro at nanghihina ako sa lahat ng nangyayari, akala ko ba ok na ang lahat, akala ko totoo na ang kung anong meron samin ni Tagan…

Akala ko wala na yong sakit pero bakit parang mas masakit pa to kesa sa nangyari sakin dati. Mas masakit ngayon dahil siya mismo mo ang gumawa nito sakin.

Akala ko totoo lahat ng pinapakita niya sakin, naniwala akong totoo ang nararamdaman namin pero bakit kailangan ganito? Bakit kailangan niya pa akong gamitin.

I was walking along the streets hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta, all I know is sobrang sakit ng puso ko I can’t even breath clearly dahil sa pagsikip ng aking dibdib.

I feel worthless and useless, bakit mo ginawa iyon Tagan?

Naniniwala na ako sa lahat ng nangyayri pero bakit biglang ganito, you made me feel special after that you’ll just bring me down this far. Halo halo ang sakit at lungkot saking buong sistema. Wala na akong pakielam kung may makakita man sakin.

I seated at a bench on a park here and cry harder, nilabas ko lahat ng sakit at lungkot, Bakit ganito Tagan? sana sinabi mo nalang sakin na ganito ang gagawin mo kasi kung para sayo naman kaya kong  iwan ang banda ko ang gagawin mo lang naman ay sabihin sakin…

Masyado kitang minahal na handa akong gawin yon para sayo, kaya sana sinabi mo nalang hindi yong kailangan mo kong saktan ng ganito. Sobrang sakit nito Tagan…

“Bakit??” I whisper and cry harder.

I put my hands in front of my chest and grip on his hoodie na suot ko ngayon, bakit kailangan lagi akong nasasaktan ng ganito?

Nagmahal lang naman ako, bakit ganito ang sinusukli sakin mali ba ako hindi ba dapat ganito ang pag ibig kasi kung hindi ganito, hindi kona alam kung pano. Binigay ko na ang lahat sakanya pero bakit hindi niya ako magawang mahalin.

Bakit kailangan niya pang iparamdam ulit sakin na wala akong kwenta para sakanya.

“Bakit Tagan” I raise my heads up and look at the dark sky and let my tears flow like they won’t stop because of the pain.

My knees are getting weaker and my whole body were trembling, I think this too much pain made me weaker lahat ng binigay kong pag ibig para sa sarili ko ay bigla nalang naglaho, I feel selfless.

Lahat ng binuo kong lakas ng loob ay bigla nalang nawala dahil sakanya, lahat ng meron ako ay nasakanya na pati ang puso ko and I know na hindi ko na iyon mababawi sakanya pero sobrang sakit nito…..

I continue crying here at the park but when I saw two man’s walking near me, agad akong kinain ng kaba lahat ng takot saking katawan ay lumabas, I remember that night.

Kaya kahit nanghihina at nanginginig ang aking mga tuhod I tried to stand up and walk away.

“Hoy miss!” one of them shouted and they started to follow me.

I started running dahil sa pagsunod nila mas binilisan ko ng mapansin ko ang pagbilis ng lakad nila sa likuran ko.

Lalo akong naiyak ng makita iyon, nanginginig ako ng sobra kaya natatapilok ako habang tumatakbo pero pinipilit ko paring makalayo sakanila.

“Miss sandal lang naman hintayin mo naman kami!!!” I can hear them near my back kaya mas bimilis ang pagpintig ng puso ko.

Halo halo ang aking nararamdaman ngayon, lungkot,sakit, kaba at takot…

Ayaw ko nang maulit ang nangyari noon. “Tagan” I called for his name kahit nahihirapan na akong huminga dahil sa kakatakbo.

I was about to cross the street when a large amount of light flash on my right side kaya napatigil ako sa pagtakbo at nilingon ito pero huli na…

Nakaramdam ako ng sobrang lakas na pagtama saking tagiliran at alam kong tumilapon ako sa kalsada, matapos ng malakas na pagtama na iyon nakita ko nalang ang sarili ko na nakahandusay sa kalsada.

My whole body feels numb and my eyes wanted to shot down, I tried to grab some air but i can’t afford to breath clearly.

My gaze started to blur at ibat-ibang kulay ng liwanag nalang ang naaaninag ko, wala narin akong marinig tanging nakakabinging ingay nalang ang bumalot sa buong tenge ko.

Unti-unting nagsara ang talukap ng aking mga mata at hindi ko na alam ang mga susunod na nangyari…..

---

Venus

“dyosko what happen to my daughter!” sigaw ni Tita Celina ng makitang inilabas sa ambulance ang duguang katawan ni Celine mabilis kaming lumapit sakanya. Para akong tinakasan ng kaluluwa ng makita si Celine na punong puno ang dugo at walang malay.

We were at their house when someone called and tell that Celine was in an accident mabilis kaming nakarating dito kaya naabutan namin siya nilalabas ng Ambulance.

Tinatakbo na si Celine papunta sa ER and as she enters the ER lahat ng luha ay nagbagsakan saking mga mata and Otic immediately hug me. Tita Celina fainted after the door closes kaya agad siyang inasikaso ng mga nurse.

Were all panicking right now, masyadong mabilis ang panyayari kanina lang nagkasagutan kami ni Celine and now her life was in danger. Bigla kong pinagsisihan ang lahat ng sinabi ko sakanya kanina.

Nang makita ko ang mukha niya kanina habang tinatakbo siya sa ER para akong sinaksak ng makita ang mga bakas ng luha sakanyang mga pisngi, maybe she was crying before the got hit by a car and ang tanga ko dahil wala ako sa tabi niya when she’s crying.

Sobrang sakit na makitang nasasaktan si Celine then ito pa ang nanyari sakanya, bakit ba palaging kailangan niya humarap sa ganitong sitwasyon hindi pa ba sapat ang nangyari sakanya dati!

“shhh Venus magiging ok si Celine” Otis whispers. I felt Zake hands in mine he was holding me tight and tears felling from his eyes ganon rin kay Otis.

Lahat kami nag-aalala at natatakot sa maaaring maging kalagayan ni Celine lord please save her once again.

“Celine” I said and cry even more….

Be strong Celine….

CHAPTER 33

It’s been an hours at hindi parin lumalabas ang doctor sa ER, lahat kami ay taimtim na pinagdarasal ang kalagayan ni Celine. Tita Celina already wake up pero hindi siya muna pinapunta dito, tito is with her in her room samantalang andito sa tabi namin si kuya drake tahimik na hinihintay ang doctor.

“Natatakot ako” I whisper to Otis and Zake.

They look at me and just give me a positive smile “Kaya ni Celine iyon” Zake said.

Otis pat my shoulder “Wag kang matakot andito kami hihintayin natin lahat si Celine and sure ako ok na siya ngayon” mas hinigpitan nila ang hawak saking kamay para pagaanin ang pakiramdam ko.

Pero kahit nag anon hindi parin mawala sakin ang takot para sa kalagayan ni Celine. I wanted her safe and see her smiling again.

Mga ilang minute pa ay bumukas rin ang pinto emergency room at lumabas mula doon ang doctor.agad kaming tumayo para salipat ito at tanungin ang kalagayan ni Celine.

“how’s my sister?” kuya Drake ask.

The doctor take off his face mask and give us a grin before talking “The patients is already in a good state, stable na ang kanyang kalagayan just a small fracture in her thighs and legs, some bruises on her arms and forehead pero ok na siya hindi naman malala ang mga natamo niyang sugat that means hindi malakas ang impact ng pagkabangga sakanya. Don’t worry she’s fine now we’ll move her to her private room any minute now” pagpapaliwanag ng doctor, para naman kaming binunutan ng tinik ng marinig ang mabuting kalagayan ni Celine.

Thank you lord for saving her again..

“Thank you Doc” kuya Drake thank the doctor bago ito umalis sa harapan namin.

I hugged Otis and Zake, when I feel relive by Celine’s situation. We waited until Celine was in her private room already may mga sugat siya sa ibat-ibang parte ng katawan pero hindi naman ito malala, she also have bend on her right thigh part siguro iyon ng tinuturong fracture ng doctor.

Nakakapanghinang makita si Celine sa ganitong kalagayan, the last time I saw her in the hospital wa five years ago at ganito rin ang galagayan niya noon, may mga sugat sa katawan at namumula ang kanang bahagi ng kanyang mata. Hindi siya narape ng tuluyan that time pero na dugdog siya bago pa dumating si Zake.

Gaya ng dati awa at sakit ang nararamdaman ko ngayon habang pinagmamasdan siya. Mahimbing siyang natutulog habang may dextrose na nakakabit sakanyang ilong.

My poor friend Celine, ang ginawa niya lang naman ay nagmahal ng buong puso pero ganito ang isinusukli sakanya ng pag ibig na binibigay niya, I think this is too much for her.

“My poor darling Celine” umiiyak na sabi ni Tita Celina habang hinahaplos ang kamay ng kanyang anak, Tito Rage was just staring at her daughter with pull of sympathy on his face while kuya drake is comforting their mother.

“She’s going to be fine mom don’t cry”

“Bakit kailangan niyang humarap sa ganitong mga pagsubok, she’s just a sweetest girl” tita Celina burst out of crying and hug her daughter.

Pinipigilan kong lumuha habang pinapanuod sila, I want to be strong for Celine.

After that day hindi parin gumigising si Celine, pinauwi muna kami nila tito para makapagpahinga pero I can’t even sleep that night thinking of Celine at the hospital.

Kaya pagsapit ng umaga agad akong naligo at nag bihis para puntahan si Celine sa Hospital, Otis and Zake were already waiting at me outside the hospital kaya sabay sabay na kaming pumasok at tumuloy sa room ni Celine.

When we open the door nakita naming si Celine na dahan dahang sinusubuan ni Tita Celina ng Lugaw, she’s awake already ng dumako samin ang kanyang tingin ay binigyan niya kami ng alanganing ngiti. I know she’s shy.

Kaya nginitian ko siya ng sobrang laki at lumapit sakanya, tita Celina gave us space para makalapit kay Celine.

I held her hands “How are you feeling?” I ask her.

Otis and Zake were just waiting for her to answer my question. “I’m sorry” iyon agad ang sinabi ni Celine and nagsimula nang tumulo ang luha sakanyang mga mata.

“I’m sorry sa lahat ng nasabi ko, I’m so sorry dahil iniwan ko kayo and I lie to you guys”

“Celine you don’t have to say sorry to us, naiintindihan ka namin and matitiis ka ba namin?” Otis cheer her up,

Tinignan niya kaming tatlo kaya we gave her a genuine smiles to make her feel better about it.

“I’m sorry kung hindi ko inintindi ang nararamdaman mo, I was just so selfish that night and I forget about how you love that man” I whisper to her and hugged her so tight.

Lalo siyang umiyak nong sinabi koi yon kaya kumunot ang mukha ko, may mali ba sa sinabi ko?

“lalabas lang muna ako sandal I’ll call for your tito” napalingon kami kay Tita Celina ng magpaalam siyang lalabas.

“Samahan ka napo namin tita” Zake and Otis went outside with Tita Celina kaya naiwan kami dito sa loob ni Celine.

“Celine tell me what happen before the incident? Saan ka galing? Kay Tagan ba?” I stare at her and she immediately avoid m gaze and continue crying.

I know she was in deep pain right now, I know her to well..

Niyakap ko nalang siya at mas hinigpitan iyon ng mas lalo siyang umiyak saking balikat.

“Ang sakit Venus” she said and her snobs became louder and clear to my ears.

I just pat her back lightly and tried to comfort her with that. I can feel her pain and it’s killing me.

“What happen Celine?”

“He just used me to destroy our band” nanghihinang bigkas ni Celine at mas tumindi ang pagiyak niya.

I knew it there’s something going on between them this past few weeks and I know that Tagan is up to something! How could he do this to her.!

“sobrang sakit Venus” mas hinigpitan ko nalang ang yakap ko kay Celine and let her cry out her pain.

Nang medyo kumalma na siya, I gave her a cup of water and let her breath some more before I talk again.  “Celine I know this may hurt but I want you to tell me everything”

Tinignan niya ako saking mga mata ng puno ng bighati at lungkot bago siya nagsimulang mag kwento..

If love was an ocean I bet Celine already died because of drowning. Love is too much for her…

CHAPTER 34

I feel better now, pagkatapos kong ikwento ang lahat kay Venus, I know she’s mad but she choose to hide it para hindi mapansin nila Otis at Zake.

I got in to a car accident that night, pero parang masa masakit parin ang mga narinig ko kesa sa pagbangga sakin ng sasakyan. Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong maramdaman ngayon pero isa lang ang kumakatok saking isipan, iyon ay ang pagtigil na sa kalokohan na ito.

I was his game the whole time sobra na ang nangyayari sakin dahil sakanya, totoo ang sinabi ni Venus he doesn’t even had a heart to someone like me. Ginagamit niya lang ako.

Ang alam niya lang mahalin ay ang sarili niya, masakit man pero I have to stop. Tama na ang anim na taong pagpapakatanga sayo Tagan.

Pagod na rin akong kumatok dyan sa matigas mong puso, nakuha mo na ang lahat sakin pero ngayon sisiguraduhin kong hindi mona masasaktan ang bagong ako.

I will get through these bruises and bring back the band that you destroy! Hindi na ako maghahabol at manglilimos ng konting oras mo ngayon.

Babangon ako ulit at sisiguraduhin kong hindi mona ulit ako mapapaikot sa palad mo!

I love you but you’re too much for me! Handa na akong kalimutan ang pag ibig na paulit ulit mong dinurog.

“Celine gusto mo ba ng apple pagbabalat kita?” Zake handed me a sliced apple.

“Salamat” tinanggap koi to at sinubukang kainin, medyo makirot pa ang mga sugat ko sa braso kaya hindi pa ako makagalaw ng maayos.

“buti nalang talaga Celine hindi malala ang nangyari sayo kung hindi kawawa naman kami” Otis pouted and seated at the edge of my bed.

“Bakit naman tayo ang kawawa hindi ba si Celine dapat?” Venus asked him.

Kinamot ni Otis ang kanyang batok bago magsalita “Syempre mawawalan tayo ng vocalist alangan namang ikaw ang papalit sakanya eh ang panget ng bosese mo” he pointed at Venus.

Venus got immediately pissed on what he said kaya hinampas niya ito ng unan at pinagpapalo. “WOW HA NA TRY MONA BANG PAKINGGAN YANG BOSES MO AH!” Zake and I just laugh at them.

“Maganda boses ko noh’ kesa sayo” Otis shouted.

---

“Darling Celine may bisita ka come in iho” My mom interrupt us as she entered the room with someone.

Someone, that I don’t wanna see anymore.

“Bakit ka andito?!” si Venus agad ang nagtanong ng makita niya si Tagan sa tabi ni mommy.

My mom seem’s to understand what’s happening, she gesture at me and go out of the room. Kami nalang naiwan dito ng mga kabanda ko at si Tagan.

He was looking pitiful on me I can see it through his eyes.

His about to step but Venus block him and furiously look at him. “Ang kapal din ng mukha mong pumunta dito noh’!”

Pero kahit na nagsasalita na sa harap niya si Venus his still focus staring at me so I avoided his gaze. I know his looking at my bruises.

“Pagkatapos mo siyang baliwalain nong highschool tayo tapos ngayon naman ga—” Tagan cut her off.

“Can I talk to Celine” he politely asks Venus.

He was pleasing me by his stare pero hindi ko ito pinansin. “What do you want to talk about?” I coldly ask.

“Celine hindi mona dapat kinakausap itong gagong to’” Iritang singhal ni Venus bago humarap sakin.

I gave her a assuring smile bago tumango sakanila. “Fine” Venus let Tagan walk near me.

Mabilis na lumapit si Tagan sakin at hinawakan ang aking mga kamay. “What happen?” malumanay na sambit nito.

“just a car accident that’s all” I said it on a bored tone, pero agad kong nakita ang pagigting ng panga nga at ang pagdilim ng kanyang tingin.

“Just!?” hindi makapaniwalang sagot niya. “You called that just Celine it almost took your life tapos Just lang? why are you still outside that moment akala ko ba umuwi kana ah!” I fearlessly face him and smirk on his question.

“Wanna know why?” kalmabong sambit ko.

“Fucking yes Celine!”

“Because you FUCKING USED ME!” I shouted and that made him shock.

Zake and Otis went at my side to calm me up but I’m too angry right now! I want to hurt him so bad!

“I was fucking there when you told Aiden and Tove about destroying our band, I was there when you freaking said that your only USING me and you know what Tagan fuck you !” hindi gumalaw si Tagan sa kinatatayuan niya, his just staring at me while I started to cry in front of him.

I make a fake smile “Are you happy?” I ask him.

He shook his head at dahan dahang umiling, Venus held his arms “Umalis kana Tagan”.

“Yeah that’s right don’t fucking showed up!” I said.

For the last time Tagan stare at me, at pagkatapos ay hinayaan niyang hilain siya palabas ni Venus.

“Celine” Zake and Otis called my name, dahil doon bigla akong naghina at agad yumapos sa kanilang dalawa.

“Ang sakit” I burst out again.

“Shhhh andito lang kami” Otis whisper.

Sobrang sakit….

---

Venus

“Umalis kana Tagan at pwedi bang wag kanang magpapakita ulit!” pagkalabas namin ng kwarto ni Celine agad kong tinulak si Tagan.

Pero nakatulala lang siya sa sahig and not minding what I have said. “Celine” I heard him whisper.

“Umalis kana Tagan tigilan mo na ang pagsira sa buhay ni Celine sobra na ang dinadas niya sayo tangina naman eh!”

He rose his head and his confuse face look at me.

“What do you mean?”

I bitterly smile at him and remember all the things that Celine been through because of him.

“Gusto mong malaman!”

He was waiting for me to continue.

“Muntikan lang naman magahasa si Celine after you promise her a date that night five years ago! Kinailangan namin lumipat ng school para malayo siya sayo, she under go to a trauma because of that night kung saan yong gagong nangako sakanya ay nagsasaya sa birthday ng kaibigan niya! Ngayong ok na ang buhay ni Celine nagpakita nanaman ang gagong iyon at sinira ulit ang buhay ni Celine! She was crying before the accident dahil sa mga narinig niya at hinabol siya ng dalawang lalake kaya siya na bangga and you know what’s funny?” I sarcastically ask.

“Ikaw nanaman ang dahilan kung bakit siya nalagay sa panganib!” I push him again.

He was shock through what I have said and his stiff in front of me.

Lalo lang akong iniis dahil sa empression niya acting like an innocent bastard!

“Umalis kana Tagan hangga’t kaya ko pang magtimpi umalis kana!!” I was shouting at him and making a scene out here in the hallway kaya minabuti nang umalis ni Tagan.

He was walking away like his trying to process things that I have said. Tama yan Tagan mamatay sa sakonsensya sa lahat ng ginawa mo kay Celine kulang pa iyan.

I won’t let you hurt my best friend again.

---

After 2 months hindi nagparamdam si Tagan sakin, and with that 2 month’s I’m fully recovered and our band comeback to the stronger and better.

All my wounds, fractures and bruises are healed already but my heart is still trying to cope up. I’m starting a new life again. Mas uunahin kona ang pag gamit ng isip kesa sa puso dahil I realize that my heart were too fragile and easy to melt kaya ngayon I made sure that I’m using mg brain over my heart.

Brain before heart is better than Hurt before regret…

CHAPTER 35

“Tara na Celine magsisimula na ang gig natin any minute now” Venus shouted after she went out of the car with Otis.

Nakita ko silang tumakbo papasok ng Club, Open the car door at dahan dahang lumabas kasama ang guitara ko. Zake stand beside me and smile.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Nefarious are back” I whisper and pull him through the club.

We are back to business, stronger, better and bolder. I will not let anyone destroy us again kahit na si Tagan pa ito.

Pagpasok namin si Zake sa loob girl’s immediately run to us and ask for a picture and our sign. Buti nalang may dumating na bouncer at unti-unti silang pinalayo samin and made our way to the stage.

Nang makausap namin ang manager nalaman namin na hindi lang pala kami ang tutugtog for this night may ibang banda pa raw kaya hinintay pa namin ito bago magsimula.

Only to find out that it was Cntrl S. sila ang hinihintay na banda na tutugtog rin ngayong gabi.

“Guys andyan na ang Cntrl S we can start na and Nefarious kayo ang mauuna ah be ready” The manager said and went up to the stage and catches the attention of every people here inside the club.

So andito na sila Tagan pero hindi ko pa sila nakikita, after a minute the manager called us out the stage and introduce us.

“Our evening will be bounded by two wonderful bands and our first performers are the NEFARIOUS!!!” as we step out of the stage the crowd begins to shout our names and cheer for us like were on a battle.

Pagkaakyat ko namin sa Stage I quickly saw Tagan standing at the back with Aiden and Tove. He crossed his arms and deepens the stare, well that won’t affect me anymore Tagan.

Kung dati ay napapahina ako ng mga titig na iyan pero ngayon hindi na, aminin ko man na may epekto parin ito sakin pero kaya ko nanglabanan ito ngayon.

I fearlessly stare at him either and let him feel my presence. Kahit na malayo nakita ko ang pagtigting ng panga niya dahil doon.

“Once again Nefariuos!” the manager step out of the stage and let us slay the whole stage.

I make sure that the wire connected to my guitar is fully fix bago kami nagsimulang tumugtog.

(Ruthless – yelly female version)

“Nice girls always finished last shoud’ve know that Gave you my heart and You fucked around and broke that So sad Pretty boys hurt you so bad”

I locked my eyes to Tagan and feel the music inside of me.

“Boy you played me Did me so shady Got me in my feelings I can’t even trust lately You so lame, took me as a game Karma where you at? You better have my back Cause you know damn well I didn’t deserve that Oh I finna lose it, Got me lookin’ stupid From now on ima be ruthless.”

Every word of the song I’m singing is hurting me while looking at him, like every words are ment for him, nakita ko ang patuloy na pagtitig niya sakin habang ako’y kumakanta. I know he feel my pain because his starting to look at me like he pity me so much.

Yes I’m hurt but I might be ruthless then..

“Thought I was in love Got me thinkin’ to myself I wasn’t enough I remember late night all alone Waitin’ by my phone just to sse You name with a ringtone But you, never called You ain’t ever cared Told me that you love me You were never there.”

Akala ko mahal mona ako Tagan.

“What did I do to deserve this treatment Never thought you’d be the one that I caught cheated

Why you do this to me? We had so much history Now all I know is misery But look what you did to me“

I can feel my tears are about to escape but I tried my best to control it and continue fighting his gaze. I want him to know what I feel through this song.

“Nice girls always finished last shoud’ve know that Gave you my heart and You fucked around and broke that So sad Pretty boys hurt you so bad Boy you played me Did me so shady Got me in my feelings I can’t even trust lately You so lame, took me as a game Karma where you at? You better have my back Cause you know damn well I didn’t deserve that Oh I finna lose it, Got me lookin’ stupid From now on ima be ruthless.”

Hindi ko na pigilan ang luha saking mga mata pero mabilis koi tong pinunasan habang pinagpapatuloy ang pagkanta, nanatili ang aking mga mata sakanya. Hindi ko mabasa ang nilalaman ng kanyang expression ngayon pero isa lang ang alam ko.

Tama na ito Tagan sobra na ang sakit, siguro ito na ang oras na pakawalan ka.

I’ll sincerely accept my defeat.

You win the game you made, where at the first place I was set us the loser of this game.

Pagkatapos namin kumanta nagpalakpakan ang lahat ng tao dito sa loob ng club, may iba pang sumisigaw at pinipicturan kami. Zake went near me and held my hand para hindi ako malayo sakanila. Fans started to surround are way out kaya medyo nagkakagulo.

Matutulak at natatamaan na  ako ng ibang tao, Zake was force to let go of my hands dahil sa dami ng tao at napapapikit na ako dahil natatapakan at napapaaman ng kung ano ano ang aking paa.

Maya maya lang naramdaman ko ulit ang kamay ni Zake sa aking kamay, he pulled me out here at dinala sa parking lot.

“Buti nalang nakaalis na tayo doon Zak––” i stop talking when I realize na hindi si Zake ang humila sakin palabas ng Club.

It was Tagan all along.

His staring at me while tighten his grip on my wrist.

“Bakit moko hinila dito?” I ask him at inayos ko ang pagbuhat ko saaking guitara.

“Why didn’t you tell me about that rape thing Celine, magkasama tayo ng halos dalawang buwan na pero hindi mo sinabi sakin ang nagyari sayo. And fuck that was because of me!” galit na sambit niya sakin.

Pero kalmado ko iyong tinanggap at sinagot siya “ Bakit ikaw din naman ah halos dalwang buwan na tayong magkasama pero bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin na ginagamit mo lang ako!“

“I didn’t mean that Celine”

“You mean it or not you still used me Tagan anong pinagkaiba non?” he shook his head and lighten his grip on mine.

Madali kong nahila ang aking kamay dahil doon. “I’m sorry” he whispers.

I was about to talk when Otis called for my name. “Celine?”

“I’ll go ahead” I said and leave him there.

I might forgive you Tagan pero hindi na ako babalik sa dating ako na mahal na mahal ka.

I love my self-more than anyone else…

CHAPTER 36

Tagan’s Point of View

Watching her walk away from me makes me feel strange. After I’ve heard everything from Venus, I don’t know but I feel so guilty and there’s something inside of me wanting her by my side.

I wanted her by my side to protect her, Sobrang gulo ng isipan ko ng malaman ko ang dahilan ng paglipat niya ng school noon.

Because of me, she almost got raped, yes I admit it hindi ko talaga siya sinipot non’ dahil para sakin wala lang talaga siya. I don’t focus on my feelings back then I always pay attention to myself and my band.

And I don’t really like her that time, and the reason why I talk to her this time is to distract her and let her band down. We badly need to win in every contest because our band might disband if we lose one, dahil sa nagawa ni Aiden sa anak ng dean kaya nalagay sa panganib ang band namin, at para sakin nasa panganib ang banda ko kaya I will do anything to save it.

Even it means of using Celine. I know they have a 100% chance of winning against us, that’s why I want to destroy them. I plan all of this after seeing her at the battle. Nalaman kong may nararmdaman parin siya sakin so I grab that chance to get her and distract her.

All of this was just an act but the night we spent together wasn’t my plan. it just happen and I don’t regret it.

But I feel sorry for everything she’d been through because of me. 

And now I don’t understand myself, halo halong emosyon ang aking nararamdaman lalo na kaninang kumakanta siya parang kinakausap niya ako gamit ang kanta. I don’t know but I felt guilty of it.

Hindi ko talaga maintindihan ang sarili ko ngayon, I’m fuck up…

---

It’s been a week and I’ve never heard anything about Tagan after that talk on the parking lot ay wala na akong nalaman tungkol sakanya.

I’m starting to get through him, bumabawi na ang banda namin. Gaya ng dati sunod sunod na gig nanaman and fans meet sa University ang pinagkakaabalahan namin. I’m happy that we are back and growing. Dumadami na kasi ang fans namin hindi lang sa Ethereal University kundi pati sa ibang Universidad ay nakikilala na ang banda namin.

We are achieving things greater than we expected.

Right now we are walking through the hallway of the Fine Arts building dahil kakatapos lang ng klase namin. When someone block our way.

“I’m sorry pero pwedi bang magpapicture sayo itong kaibigan ko Otis” A girly type of girl said and pushes the chubby girl right beside her hanggang sa mapunta ito sa tapat ni Otis. She’s kinda cute and she’s shy infront of Otis.

Nakita kong napakamot si Otis ng batok niya at nginitian nalang ito, he let her take some

pictures with her and give her a hug after.

“salamat Otis I love you!!!” after they said that the run fast and bigla nalang nawala sa paningin namin.

Venus reach for Otis head para batukan ito. “Naka naman iba din talaga ang isang Sebastian Otis Visco napaka gwapo” there’s a sercams in her voice.

“Inggit ka lang kasi sayo walang nakakagus—” hindi natapos ni Otis ang sasabihin niya ng may gumulong na bola ng basketball sa harap namin.

Venus get the ball pero lahat kami napatingin doon ng may nakasulat dito it says “Venus ang ganda mo pwedi bang makuha ang Number mo” nang mabasa namin iyon, binigyan ni Venus ng mapangasar na ngiti si Otis bago kumuha ng ballpen at sinulat ang number niya doon.

Binalik niya ang bola sa lalakeng nagpagulong nito by throwing it to him and look again to Otis “Ano nga ulit yong sinasabi mo Visco?” Venus ask.

Kinamuot ni Otis ang kanyang noo pero sa ibang paraan, his using his middle finger only at nakatapat yon kay Venus kaya biglang umusok ang ilong ni Venus. “Gago ka ah!”

“ahhhhhh” Otis run and Venus runs after him. Naghabulan sila sa hallway.

I just laugh at them and resumed walking with Zake. “Ahm Celine gusto mo bang kumain sa labas after our next class?” Zake ask.

“Why not” he smiles at my answer and walk with me.

---

It’s been a week and I can’t get off Celine out of my fucking head, I’m not use to it.

Going crazy over woman. Yes I know I feel guilty about what happen to her and I already said sorry and I stay away para tapos na pero bakit ganito every time I close my eyes her face pop up and her tears.

Hindi ko maalis sa isipan ko at buong sistema ko si Celine, My conscience where killing me and I don’t know what to do with it.

Fuck shit!

I need to talk to her para matigil na itong kahibangan na ito. Ayaw ko ng ganito.

I went to their University and saktong paglabas ni Celine sa parking lot ng University kasama ang mga kabanda niya. Why is that man holding her fucking waist!

My jaw clenched and I walk fast to their place.

“Celine” I called her name, that catches all their attention.

“At anong ginagawa mo di—” Venus stop when Celine held her arms and walk in front of me.

May iba sa mga binabatong tingin sakin ngayon ni Celine hindi ito kagaya  ng dati, hindi ko maipaliwanag pero I don’t like this one.

“what do you want?” she’s so fierce right now and so strong.

She didn’t even blink her eyes and I can’t see any nervousness on her face hindi kagaya ng dati, dati puno ng emosyon ang lumalabas sa kanyang mga mata at mukha pero ngayon I can’t read any of it. It’s so blank.

“Let’s talk” I whisper.

She smile and “No” diretso niyang sabi at tumalikod sakin.

I feel something but I don’t recognize it when she turn away from me and walk through that man whose holding her waist while ago. I feel blazing fire inside of me when they both get in the Van and leave me here.

I was too occupied by my feelings and didn’t notice that I lose the chance of talking to her and now I have to fucking bear my mess system!

Fuck shit! What’s happening Tagan?

CHAPTER 37

Tagan’s Point of View

It’s one fucking week passed by and I don’t get a chance to talk to her again. Lagi akong naghihintay sa tapat ng University nila para makausap siya pero lagi siyang may kasama at hindi ako pinapansin, minsan naman ay dinudumog sila ng mga fans kaya hindi talaga ako makalapit.

She was ignoring me to many ways, Minsan nakikita kong nakita niya ako but she choose to ignore me and walk away with that Zake.

I know she’s angry at me but fucking shit I’ve been suffering to many sleepless nights because of thinking of her.

And now I’m still waiting for her at the parking lot. Halos isang oras na ako dito at inabot na ako ng dilim pero hindi parin siya lumalabas.

It’s already 9:00 pm baka nakauwi na iyon and I didn’t notice tss…

I was about to get in my car when I saw her walking out of the gate through the parking lot. Agad akong naglakad papalapit sakanya. She was using her phone and didn’t notice my presence.

“Celine”

Agad niya akong tinignan pero wala mang bakas ng pagkagulat sakanyang mukha ng makita ako.

“Ikaw nanaman? Bakit ba lagi kang andito Tagan wala ka bang gig?” she calmly asks.

“I wanted to talk to you”

“Wala na tayong dapat pagusapan Tagan ok na ako magaling na ako kaya wag na nang makonsensya total it’s my entire fault”

I held her wrist and look at her. “No it’s my fault Celine and I wanted to say sorry about everything that happen”

“You’re sorry because you used me or your sorry because your guilty alin doon Tagan? oh I know the answer Both diba!” sarcasm all over her voice.

I was caught off guard because of her question and she’s right I feel both.

“I’m sorry” iyon nalang ang nasabi ko.

She let out a heavy sigh and chuckle of disbelief. “Well I’m sorry too but I don’t have time to talk to you!” she was about to walk but I tighten my grip, like I don’t want to let go of her.

Sobrang gulo ng nararamdaman ko ngayon.

“Let go of me Tagan” madiin niyang sambit at buong tapang akong tinignan.

“Please let’s talk Celine” inaamin ko I keep wanting to talk to her pero hindi ko talaga alam kung anong sasabihin ko sa kanya pag nag-usap kami.

But I badly want to talk to her.

“Sabing bitawan mo ako Tagan!” nagpupumiglas siya sa hawak at pilit akong tinutulak palayo.

I don’t know but I’m going crazy right now, I don’t want her to go and my heart is beating so fast that I can’t even breathe clearly.

“Please” I whisper.

“Bitaw sabi eh!” she already shouting at me.

Mas nagpumilit siyang umalis sa hawak ko at bigla nalang akong napabitaw sakanya when someone punches me, that makes me fell of the ground.

“Anong ginagawa mo kay Celine!!!” that Zake punches me and held Celine at his back.

Pinunasan ko ang gilid na bahagi ng labi ko ng maramdaman kong matumutulong dugo doon.

“Wag kana ulit magpapakita kay Celine! Tara na Celine” Zake pull her out in front of me and walk to their Van.

“Celine please let’s talk” I tried to please her but she just look at me and went inside the Van.

I was left there like an idiot and I really don’t know what’s happening with me! I ’m going crazy my heart is aching for no certain reason fuck it!

I feel hurt seeing her leaving with that asshole!

---

“Pare hindi kaya gusto mo na talaga si Celine kaya ka nagkakaganyan?” Tove said out of the blue.

“I don’t know, I’ve never been in love in my whole life kaya hindi ko alam kung ano itong nararamdaman ko maybe I’m just fucking guilty about what happen to her” I consciously said. But they just look at me like their no buying what I’ve said.

“Pare bakit ka nagagalit sa Zake na yon kung hindi?” Aiden said.

“He punch me with no reason sinong hindi magagalit doon!!”

“Nagaglit kaba paghinahawakan nong Zake na iyon si Celine? Ano kaya ang mararamdaman mo kung naging Jowa na ni Celine iyong Zake na iyon?” Tove said while massaging his chin and staring at the ceiling like his imagining about it.

“oo nga pare pano ano kaya ang mararamdaman mo kung makita mong hinahalikan nang Zake na iyon si Celi––”

I stop him by throwing my bag on his face! How dare him! Hi can’t even imagine Celine kissing someone but me! Her lips are mine!

“Hep bakit ka nagagait dyan?” He teases.

I don’t know either maybe I just don’t like his idea it’s sucks!

“Gan gaya nga ng sabi mo your new to this feeling kaya hindi mo talaga maiidentify ang nararamdaman mo pero I know that their’s a space for Celine in your heart pero ayaw lang aminin ng sarili mo your pride is too high for that and maybe hindi pa ganon kalalim ang nararamdaman mo pero you have to find out” kalmabong sambit ni Tove sakin.

“I don’t know Tove”

“Pare ganito nalang sabihin mo samin ang nararamdaman mo tuwing nakikita mo si Celine” Aiden said and seat in front of me ganon din si Tove.

Napaisip ako saglit bago magsalita “I don’t really know and understand anything inside of me but I badly want to talk to her, she can’t get out of my mind the whole time, I don’t want that Zake holding any part of her body it makes my blood boil and my heart aches every time my eyes met her’s” I shook my head when I remember her wanting to get away of me the moment I held her hand.

Parang nandidiri siya sakin at ayaw niyang mahawakan ko siya.

“that’s it Tagan gusto mo nga si Celine” Tove confidently said.

“Tama siya Gan” Aiden agreed to him.

Siguro tama sila, I feel pain when Celine staretd to get cold of me. Kung dati puno ng pag mamahal ang uri ng pagtingin niya sakin pero ngayon hindi na and I want it back!

I badly want her back…

“I like her?” I confusedly stated.

“Yes Gan you love her” Aiden said.

Nalipat ang tingin ko kay Tove and he just nodded at me..

“I WANT HER BACK”

CHAPTER 38

“Celine tara na kain na tayo!” Venus shouted and enters the coffee shop with Otis and Zake. Nahuli ako sakanila dahil inaayos ko pa ang bag ko dito sa Van dahil mamaya may gig nanaman kami.

I’ll make sure my things are ready para hindi na ako mahirapan mamaya, I check everything if kompleto na and after that I went out of the Van and someone grabs my hands pull me at the back of the Van.

“Tagan?” I gasp as he pushes me through the back of the Van.

“Celine let’s talk kahit saglit lang” bakas sa mukha niya ang kagustuhan niyang makausap ako, and his grip on my wrist are so tight and I know na hindi talaga ako makakaalis dito.

I have no choice but to face him..

I let out a heavy sigh before looking at him “What do you want to talk about Tagan?”

“I’m sorry for everything Celine I regret everything I did… and I just want you to know, what happen to us that night is not an act” I don’t know how to react to him right now I just feel nothing about it.

At ayaw kona alalahanin pa ang gabing iyon, ayaw ko nang saktan pa ang sarili ko.

“Don’t worry about it, let’s just forget about it” I casually said but he look at me with disbelief and pull me closer.

“No I don’t want to forget about it, Celine huli man pero I admit that I like you and I want you back.”

Ngayon ako naman ang tumingin sakanya ng hindi makapaniwala. But I manage to gave him a fake smile “Too late Tagan” I whisper.

“Celine pinagsisihan ko ang nagawa ko, yes I know I did that on purpose ngayon ko lang narealize and nararamdaman ko sayo I wanted you back”

“Your just saying that dahil nalaman mo ang nangyari sakin pero kung hindi nangyari yon ipagpapatuloy mo parin ang paggamit sakin Tagan! I already know how to play your games kaya tigilan mona ako hindi na ako bibigay sa mga salita mo.” I push him with all my strength and that makes him step back.

I fearlessly stare at him and pull my hand on him “Celine let me prove myself to you I really want you back” he said.

I can see sincerity on his face but I’m not buying it anymore “Hindi na ako naniniwala sa kahit anong sabihin mo Tagan sorry” I walk fast para hindi niya na ako maabutan.

Agad akong pumasok sa coffee shop at umupo sa tabi nila Zake, I can see him through the glass window his still staring at me. I don’t know but I feel pain in his stare pero baka it was just his act to make me fall for his trap again.

Not anymore Tagan…

---

It’s been a weeks and hindi ako tinitigilan ni Tagan his always there in any of our gigs, lagi niya akong pinipilit kausapin buti nalang andyan sila Otis at Zake para pigilan siya. Hindi ko maintindihan is this is new way of destroying us bakit nagmumukha na siyang desperado.

Right now I’m at the restroom sa isang club kakatapos lang ng gig namin kaya nag restroom muna ako para makapagayus pa bago umuwi.

I was busy fixing my earrings when the door open and Tagan went inside.  I was in the state of shock when I notice him lock the door leaving us both here inside the restroom.

“Tagan anong ginagawa mo dito?!” It was almost a shout.

“Celine can we Talk and have dinner” malumanay na sambit niya and ang nakakagulat ay hindi siya lumapalit sakin his just keeping the distance between us, siguro dahil alam niyang magwawala ako if he moves.

“No I’m busy” I walk pass through him para makalabas na dito buti nalang ay hindi niya ako hinarangan at hinayaan akong makalabas ng restroom.

But he followed me “Celine just this one pagbigyan mo naman ako I’ll make it up to you” he almost please me.

“Celine may problema ba?” napalingon  ako ng dumating si Zake.

Lumapit si Zake sa tabi ko at unit-unti akong hinarangan para makaharap si Tagan, Tagan’s jaw clenches as he stare at Zake in front of him. “Wala namang problema Zake” I said.

“I want to talk to Celine so please get out of the way” Madiin na sambit ni Tagan.

His still staring at me while talking to Zake. “ayaw niya nga makausap ka eh!” i can here irritation on Tagan’s voice.

“I’m not asking for your permission” Tagan is flaming mad right now.

Pagkapatos niyang sabihin iyon itinuon niya ulit sakin ang kanyang atensyon.

“Let’s have some dinner I’ll wait for you Celine”

Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko dahil mukhang desidido si Tagan sa sinasabi niya, but Zake held my hands “Tara na Celine” hinila na ako ni Zake palayo kay Tagan.

“I’ll wait Celine” pahabol na sambit ni Tagan at tuluyan na kaming nakalabas ng club.

“Ok ka lang ba Celine” bakas ang pagaalala sa mukha ni Zake, I know he’s worried about me dahil alam niyang hindi maganda ang meron samin ni Tagan.

I nodded at him and smile “I’m fine Zake salamat ah”

“Basta ikaw” he smiles at me too.

---

Tagan it’s almost 11pm at hindi talaga ako sinipot ni Celine, hinintay ko siya sa sinabi kong dinner pero hindi siya pumunta maybe galit parin talaga siya sakin.

I take a deep breath before standing out of the restaurant dahil mukhang hindi na talaga siya pupunta.

I step out of the reastaurant and check my phone para tignan kung may massage ba, meron tatlong massage galing kay Aiden.

I open it and read his massages.

From Aiden

Gan where are you? Look what I’v egot pare..

He sends some pictures in the club hindi ko ito makita ng maayos kaya I click it and zoom the picture para mas makita ng maayos.

I don’t know what to feel right now, so she’s with that Zake all the time at hindi talaga siya pumunta sakin she chooses that man over me.

From Aiden

Mukhang nagmove on sa sayo si Celine Gan pano na yan?

I take a deep breath and look at the dark sky… Ganito din ba ang naramdaman mo Celine nong hindi kita sinipot five year ago..

Masakit pala…

CHAPTER 39

Tagan’s Point of View

“Gan bakit naman sobrang late kana magaya ng inuman eh mag 12 am na oh” Tove said while looking at his wrist watch.

I didn’t answer him I just drink this liquor in my glass, I’m so frustrated and lose right now hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. I want Celine pero ayaw niya na sakin.

I’m going crazy over her and it’s pulling me deeper. After kong mabasa ang text ni Aiden agad ko silang inaya sa inuman I just want to get fucking drunk.

“Fuck” I kick the table because of this pain inside of me.

“Oy Gan hinay hinay naman mamaya magbayad pa tayo dito eh imbis na itong iniinum lang natin ang babayaran natin madadagdagan pa dahil sa ginagawa mo” suway ni Aiden sakin, Tove also pat my shoulder to calm me down.

I just shook my head and drink again. “Gan hindi ko alam ah pero hindi kaya mas maganda tigilan mona si Celine kasi parang ayaw naman na sayo nong tao eh” Aiden casually said.

Agad akong umiling sa sinabi niya “No! I want to try again until she forgive me” I said.

“Sabagay si Celine nga ilang beses mong binaliwala noong highschool tayo pero tignan mo ngayon minahal ka parin niya kaso sinaktan mo ulit yan tuloy umayaw na” after Aiden said that, Tove punch him lightly “Gago mo rin talaga no’ kaibigan ka ba ni Tagan bakit ganyan ka magsalita!” Tove said.

“Tanga nagsasabi lang ako ng totoo!”

Alam ko namang may punto si Aiden and I’m fucking guilty about it.

After that I drown myself to liquor just to get rid of this fucking pain in my chest.

---

“sige Celine una na ako salamat nga pala sa pagsama sakin” sambit ni Zake habang inaabot sakin ang bag ko. Kakagaling lang namin sa isang club dahil birthday daw ng kaibigan ni Zake na si Cali.

“You’re always welcome Zake sige na ingat sa pag uwi ah” he nodded at me as he get in the Van. Nang makaalis na siya agad akong pumasok sa bahay.

The lights are off already dahil magaalauna nang madaling araw, kaya dahan dahan akong pumasok and went straight ahead the kitchen cou’z I feel thirsty siguro dahil puro ice cream ang kinain ko sa club. What a shame Caline ang tanda mona para sa Ice cream.

Umiling iling nalang ako at kumuha ng isang basong tubig mula sa ref.

Hinintay kaya ako ni Tagan sa sinasabi niyang Dinner? Biglang pumasok iyang tanong nayan saking isipan pero agad din naman itong kinontra ang konsensya ko he wouldn’t wait for me, he’ll never wait for me.

Tama na Celine.

Pagkatapos kong uminom ay bumalik ako sa main door ng bahay para isarado na ito pero may nakita akong tumigil na sasakyan sa labas kaya sinilip ko ito.

Someone went out of the car at tumayo sa harap ng gate namin. Dahil medyo malayo ako sa gate hindi ko maaninag ng mabuti ang mukha nito but I’m sure it’s a man.

“Celine” para akong tinakasan ng dugo ng marinig ko ang pagtawag na iyon.

I know that voice at siya lang ang nakakapagsalita ng pangalan ko na ganito ang epekto sakin. I step out of the house at agad lumapit sa gate.

Bago ko ito buksan ay sumilip muna ako sa bahay kung may nagising ba, nang masigurado kong wala ay tuluyan ko nang binuksan ang gate. Tagan’s face is the first thing I saw when I open it. Ang mga mapupungay niyang mga mata ay taimtim na nakatingin sakin, his cheeks was red right now at pati narin ang tenga niya.

“Celine I’m sorry” he said in a husky tone.

Teka..

“Lasing ka ba Tagan?” tanong ko at pinagmasdan siya ng maigi kaya ba namumula siya ngayon at mapungay ang kanyang mga mata ay dahil lasing siya.

He grins a little bit and seldom rest his eyes. “I just drink a little” he chuckle and step closer to me.

“Tagan umuwi kana kung lasing ka pa”

“I want to Talk to you Celine please hear me out” malambing na sambit niya na  may halong pagmamakaawa.

“Tagan hindi ito ang tamang oras para kausapin ka lasing kana umuwi kana please” I tried to push him through his shoulder but he just catch it and gently held my wrist.

Tinignan niya ako gamit ang hindi familiar na tingin, tila’y bago ito sakin at hindi ko pa ito nakikita sakanya dati pa. His eyes was full of emotions right now ni hindi ko mabasa kahit isa man lang doon.

“Celine I want you back, I regret everything I did and believe me I’m true to my words right now please come back to me” hindi ko alam pero kumirot ang aking puso dahil sa mga binitawan niyang salita.

I can’t even progress it in my mind, masyado akong nawawala sa mga binibigay niyang tingin. I can feel pain in it. Pero hindi pwedi yon, his Tagan Celine tandaan mo he doesn’t love you.

“No Tagan hindi totoo yan please lang umalis kana” binawi ko ang kamay ko sakanya.

“Please Celine forgive me”

“Umalis kana Tagan”

“No I’m not leaving!” desidido siya sa sinasabi niya kaya mas pinili ko nalang pumasok sa loob ng gate at sinara iyon. Tagan still staring at me mula sa labas.

I’m trying my best to resist him at baliwalain ang pinapakita niyang emotion. No Celine it’s just a fake act his just making you lose wag kang bibigay.

Tinalikuran ko siya at nagsimula nang pumasok sa bahay bago ko isara ang pinto ay narinig ko pa siyang tinawag ang pangalan ko pero hindi ko ito pinansin.

I lock the door and went upstairs. Pagpasok ko sa aking kwarto ay agad akong dumiretso sa cr para magpalit ng damit at makapaglinis ng katawan. I stingky dahil sa mga halo halong amoy doon sa club kanina.

And It took me a half an hour in the bathroom because i use the bathtub and rest there a little bit. I also try to forget Tagan dahil hindi siya mawala sa isipan ko. Habang nagbibihis ako sa walk in closet ko ay narinig ko ang malakas na kidlat at kulog mula sa labad kasabay non’ ay ang matinding pagbagsak ng malakas na ulan. Nang makapagbihis na ako agad akong dumiretso sa bintana ang aking silid.

Siguro nakaalis na yon si Tagan kanina pa, he won’t be staying there.

Hinawi ko ang kurtina ng bintana ko at sumilip doon. My eyes totally widened when I still saw his car down there. Andyan parin siya.

Mas lalo nagulat ng makita si Tagan na nakatayo sa parin sa lugar kung saan ko siya iniwan, sa tapat ng gate and for god’s sake his soaking wet dahil sa lakas ng ulan. Nakayuko lamang siya doon.

Agad akong pumunta saking pintuan para daluhan siya sa baba ng biglang kumtok ang isipan ko. Ypu shouldn’t care for him Celine his just acting for you to fall again. Napatigil ako sa pagbukas ng pinto dahil doon.

Unti-unti akong umatras mula doon at bumalik sa kama ko. I seated at the edge of the bed.

I feel sudden ache in my chest seeing him standing there and it’s’ fucking raining outside. Pero pinipigilan ito nang aking isipan. Maybe Celine he will go home any minute now dahil his just acting at hindi niya hahayaang mabasa ng sobra at magtagal sa ilalim ng ulam para lang sayo.

Tama uuwi din siya and I don’t have to worry about him.

I lay on the bed and cover myself with the comforter and try to erase him in my mind…

Uuwi din siya Celine, he’ll leave.

CHAPTER 40

Pag gising ko kinaumagahan agad akong tumayo at sumilip sa bintana, nakahinga ako ng maayos ng makitang wala na doon ang sasakyan ni Tagan.

Tama nga ako uuwi din siya.

I take a shower and fix myself dahil ito ang first day ng rehearsal namin para sa University’s Band clash. Ito yong labanan ng bawat University tuwing ber month and I’m sure ito yong dahilan kung bakit ako ginamit ni Tagan he wanted to win this battle.

Pwes hindi na ako papayag ngayon. I’ll make sure that they will lose this contest and ang banda ko ang mananalo.

I wear a simple black ripped jeans and white shirt and put some oversize jacket, I also paired it with a black highcut convers shoes. This is my randomly rehearsal outfit simula pa nong first year kami. I went out of the house and go straight to the university kung saan kami magrerehearsal.

Andito na ang iba-ibang banda galing sa ibang University and I’m sure na andito rin ang grupo nila Tagan.

“Celine kanina ka pa namin hinihintay” Otis hug me as I went to their seat. Umupo rin ako sa tabi niya pagkatapos non.

“Sorry medyo nalate gumising” I smiled at them.

“we understand” malambing na sambit ni Zake.

I just nodded at them and the rehearsal started, the whole day was so tiring dahil ilang ulit kami sa rehearsal pero ang nakapagtataka ay hindi ko man lang nakita ang grupo nila Tagan. they never showed up on the stage.

“Guys Cntrl S is the next one pero wala sila ngayon kaya move muna tayo sa NEUISENCE band dito na sa stage” napalingon ako sa MC ng marinig ko ang banda nila.

So they won’t particicpate to the rehearsals today? Why?

“Celine ok ka lang” napalingon ako kay Venus ng tapikin niya ako sa aking balikat.

“Ok lang ako” I smiled at her and continue looking around the field. Nang dumako ang mata ko sa naglalakad na nakacup palayo dito sa venue ng rehearsal.

I know it’s him.

Tumayo ako para puntahan siya “Hoy saan ka punta?” Venus held my hand to stop me.

“Cr lang ako sandali” binawi ko ang kamay ko sakanya at agad tumakbo palayo.

I run fast ang makita kong papalabas na siya ng University “Sandali!” I shouted.

That makes him stop and look around.

“Aiden!!!” lumapit ako sakanya.

He look shock but he cope up really fast and smile at me. “Oh Celine bakit?” he calmly ask and widened his smile.

“Ahm ano why are you not attending the rehearsal?” I don’t know but I feel embarrass asking that one.

Akala ko ba move on na Celine!?

“Wala kasi kaming guitarist kaya absent muna kami bawi nalang bukas hahaha”

“What do you mean?” si Tagan lang ang guitarist nila right!?

Kinamot niya ang batok niya at halatang nagdadalawang isip siya ngayon. “Tell me” I said.

“ano kasi may sakit ngayon si Tagan taas ng lagnat kaya di makatutog” I stiff and remember Tagan last night hindi kaya dahil nagpabasa siya sa ulan kaya mataas ang lagnat niya nagyon.

What will you do next Celine? You don’t have to worry about him, his old enough to heal his self.

Tama…

---

Tove

Nang marinig kong bumukas ang pintuan ng condo ni Tagan agad akong tumayo para salubungin si Aiden.

“Oh pare ano daw sabi bawi nalang tayo bukas no—–” I was cut off when I saw Celine in front of Aiden. Agad lumipat ang tingin ko kay Aiden at binigyan niya lang ako ng walang alam na tingin.

“Anong ginagawa mo dito Celine hehe?” I’m still on the state of shock.

“Where is he?” kalmadong tanong ni Celine sakin I know she’s pertaining about Tagan kaya tinuro ko nalang ang kwarto kung saan nagpapahinga ngayon si Tagan.

She nodded at me at naglakad papapunta doon sa silid na tinuro ko. Nang malagpasan niya ako tinignan ko ulit si Aiden and mouthed him why Celine’s here.

He also mouthed me the word “sumama siya eh” napayuko nalang ako ng dahil sa sagot niya.

Sumunod kami sa silid na pinasukan ni Celine at naabutan siyang nakatingin sa natuulog na si Tagan.

“Medyo bumaba na nag lagnat niya ngayon Celine hindi na gaya ng kanina.” I manage to talk para basagin ang katahimikan dito.

Nanatili lang siyang nakatingin kay Tagan kaya pinagpatuloy ko nalang ang sasabihin ko “Naligo kasi yan ng ulan kaninang medaling araw umuwi nalang dito umaga na at ang taas ng Lagnat” I said, napansin kong nagulat siya sa mga sinabi ko at bakas ang pagaalala sa mukha ni Celine.

So she still loves him.

I need to make move here “Ah Celine pwedi bang pakitingin muna si Tagan sandal bibili lang kami ng pagkain sa labas nitong si Aiden pakitingin muna yan ah byeee” hinila ko palabas si Aiden at iniwan si Celine sa condo ni Tagan.

“Pare kakakain lang natin kanina ah bakit bibili ulit ano patay gutom?” nalilitong sambit ni Aiden habang nagpapahila sakin palabas ng Condominium.

“idiot! Umalis tayo para magkaron sila ng time ni Tagan”

“ikaw ang idiot pano sila magkakaron ng time kung tulig yong tropa natin pano sila aaction!? Tyaka isa pa may sakit si Tagan ngayon sigurado mahina yon” malakas na batok ang natanggap niya mula saakin dahil sa kahalayan ng utak niya.

“ang ibig kong sabihin Celine still loves Tagan kaya bigyan natin sila ng time malay mo magkaayos sila at mapatawan na si Gan ni Celine”

Lumiwanag ang mukha ni Aiden ng marealize niya ang punto ko.

“Tama ka nga sige tara”

---

Kumuha ako ng maliit na bimpo mula sa closet ni Tagan at kumuha ng malagi na tubig para basain ito. Kailangan kong punasan ang katawan ni Tagan nagyon dahil mainit parin siya.

I gently pull off the comforter para mapunasan ang braso niya. His peacefully sleeping right now kaya nagagawa ko ito.

Why did you wait for me that long Tagan? after what Tove said agad akong kinain ng konsensya ko dahil alam kong sa bahay galing si Tagan at naligo siya ng ulan kakahintay sakin.

How could he do this?

I feel pain inside of me while staring at his pale face, nasasaktan parin ako kahit wala ka nang ginagawa Tagan pano mo ba ito nagagwa sakin.

“Celine” napatingin ako sakanya ng tawagin niya ang pangalan ko habang natutulog siya. His hands were shaking dahil siguro nilalamig siya. Binalik ko ang comforter para hindi na siya lamigin.

I check his neck to see his body heat ng hawakan niya ito at hindi binitawan. “Celine forgive me” maybe his dreaming.

Tears escape from my traitor eyes, my chest started to aches and snobs surround the whole room.

“I love you Celine” Tagan whispers.

Not this time Celine… Not this time.

CHAPTER 41

Tagan’s Point of View

I wake up feeling better than last night, hindi kami nakadalo ng rehearsal dahil sakin I got sick. I waited for Celine that night but she didn’t come back. She doesn’t really want to talk to me and give me another chance.

“Oh Gan ok na ba pakiramdam mo?” the door open and Tove showed up. I just slightly nodded at him and try to stand up.

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that Celine was here.

“You took care of me the whole night?” I ask Tove, kasabay non ay ang pagpasok ni Aiden dito sa kwarto ko.

“Oo naman kaming dalawa nagalaga sayo noh!” Aiden said.

“Bakit Gan?” Tove.

“Napanaginipan ko si Celine na andito? I don’t know if it was a dream or not” I tried to remember that dream pero kumirot lang ang ulo ko.

“Panaginip mo lang yon hahaha” Aiden exaggeratedly said.

Napansin kong nagkatinginan sila ni Tove sa hindi malamang dahilan. Pero hindi ko nalang iyon pinagtuonan ng pansin I went to the bathroom para makapagayos na.

We have to attend the rehearsal this day dahil bukas na ang contest.

---

Tove

“Tove” napalingon kami ni Aiden ng makitang lumabas si Celine mula sa kwarto ni Tagan. And it’s already 4 am in the morning. Celine didn’t leave Tagan’s side hanggang sa hindi gumaganda ang pakiramdam nito.

We stand up and look at her. “I’ll better go, I think Tagan’s fine now” mahinhin na sambit nito habang inaayos ang bag niya.

“Sige Celine a maraming salamat siguro kung kami nag agala dyan kay Tagan hindi yan gagaling hahaha” Aiden joked.

Celine just smiled at as at nagsimula nang maglakad palabas ng condo. “Wait” she said and turns at as.

“Bakit?” I ask.

“Pwedi bang wag nyo nalang sabihin kay Tagan na andito ako or pumunta ako dito I don’t want him to misunderstood anything”  halata sa mukha niya na seryoso siya about doon kaya tumango nalang kami at hinintay siyang makaalis.

Mga ilang oras lang ay nagising na din si Tagan at ok na ang pakiramdam niya. He also said that he’d dream about Celine pero agad naman naming pinatay sa kanyang isipan ang pusibilidad na dumalo dito si Celine.

After ilang minuto sa Bathroom si Tagan ay lumabas na rin ito at sabay sabay kaming lumabas ng Unit niya. We’ll head to Ethereal University para sa last rehearsal para sa contest bukas.

---

“Celine Tara na bilis ayan na yong mga Fans ahhhhh” Venus pulls me and run through our building habang hinahabol kami ng mga fans.

Pagtungtong namin sa building ay agad akong napaupo sa bleachers dahil sa pagod ng pagtakbo. “Grabe naman ito rehearsal’s palang ang dami nang fans sa labas para contest na din dahil sa dami ng nanunuod hayyyy” hinihingal na sambit ni Venus.

“Kaya nga nakakapagod” I said. Inilagay ko muna sa lap ko ang aking guitara para makasandal ng maayos sa upuan.

“Ahhhhhhhh sheeeeetttt!” napalingon kamu ni Venus sa pinto ng makitang tumatakbo si Otis papunta samin.

“Takbo!!!” he shouted pero hindi namin siya maintindihan.

“What does he mean?” I ask Celine. “I don’t know either” Venus said.

Binalik naming ang tingin Kay Otis but our eyes quickly widened when we see a bunch of girls running after him. Napatayo ako bigla at nagkatinginan kami ni Venus.

“Oh my” Venus said and agad kaming tumakbo paalis doon dahil baka dumugin kami…

How did they enter the building kala ko ba bawala ng fans dito sa loob.!?

Mabilis kaming tumakbo papaunta sa field kung saan gaganapin ang rehearsal at buti nalang hinarang nang guard yong mga fans ng makapasok na kami sa loob.

“Grabe mamatay na ata ako” Otis said and seated on the chair beside Zake na tahimik inaayos ang kangyang electric guitar.

“Buti nalang maaga ako” Zake stated and laugh at us. Alam kong mukhang basing sisiw na kaming tatlo dahil sa pawis.

That was tense and the same time tiring gosh.

After we rest in our seats, nagpatawag na yong contest organizer para sa final rehearsal and then every band played their segnated song. After we practice our song in the stage we approach some of our fans and give them a fan sign and pictures.

“Ang ganda mopo talaga ate Celine sobraaa” i literally smile when one of our fans said that while I’m signing their photos with us.

“Thank you” nahihiyang sambit ko at pinagpatuloy ang pagpirma sa mga pictures.

“Celine bagay na bagay kayo talaga ni Zake papicture naman po kami ng dalawa lang kayo para po sa mga Zaline fans” nagkatinginan kami ni Zake dahil sa sinabi nila and just nodded on their request.

Zake put his arms around my waist para mas maglapit kami and we both smile on the camera.Sunod sunod na click ng camera ang nangyari at konting tilian kaya medyo nahihiya na kami ni Zake.

“OH MY GOD NAKAKAKILIG”

“ZALINE KAYO NALANG PO!”

“MAKE IT PUBLIC NA ZAKE AND CELINE”

“ZALINE!”

Medyo lumalakas na ang mga chant ng mga fans kaya nakakakuha na ito ng atensyon ng ibang banda sa paligid kaya pinili nanaming umalis doon at bumalik sa music room dahil mamaya ulit hapon ay last rehearsal.

In the music room we just vide with each other and play some COD, doon narin kami kumain ng lunch at hindi na kami lumabas pa dahil hussle if nagpatawag nan g rehearsal.

“Celine gusto mo nito?” I look at Venus when she handed me a one slice of chocolate cake, alam kong galing ito sa mga fans namin kanina pati ang lunch namin sakanila rin galing kaya nga hindi na kami lumabas.

“No I’m fine busog narin ako” she nodded at me and just eats the cake by herself.

“Celine about kay Tagan are you really ok about him being around?” Mahinang tanong ni Venus at umupo sa tabi ko para makapagusap kami ng mabuti.

I smiled at her “I’m fine already tanggap kona ang lahat and I don’t wanna be drown about it at isa pa pinapatawad kona siya dahil narealize ko na It was my fault in the first place pero mas pinili ko lang isisi sakanya dahil I too scared para aminin sa sarili ko na hindi talaga ako nagustuhan ni Tagan sa simula palang ako lang naman ang nagpilit ng lahat ng ito kaya nangyari ito sakin. Now I’m fully matured to accept my mistakes and let go of this feeling, para maging ok na din ang lahat” she smile and pat my shoulder.

“I’m proud of you Celine” then she hugged me.

Acceptance is the key to free our self to this kind of madness.

CHAPTER 42

“Calling all the attention of every University Bands kindly gathers here in the field for the final rehearsal everyone!” lahat kami ay napatingin sa speaker a ceiling ng magtawag na ang contest organizers for the last rehearsals.

“Tara na” Otis said at sabay sabay na naming inayos ang mga gamit at guitara namin bago lumabas ng music room.

Nagtungo na kami sa field and just like a while ago inulit yong rehearsal simula saumpisa at tumugtog ulit ang bawat banda. Nang kami na ang sumunod ay naging maganda naman ang kinalabasan at maayos ang pagkanta ko. Buti nalang…

After we sing we went to our table and just watch the next bands.

“Celine” Napalingon ako ng tawagin ako ni Tagan his standing right beside my seat and staring straight at me.

Nakita ko naman na natahimik sila Venus at Otis sa paghaharutan ng makita si Tagan sa harapan naming while Zake is looking at me. I know his worried but I just smiled at him and face Tagan.

Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo ko “Tagan” I said.

Nakita ko ang pagpungay ng kanyang mata ng banggitin ko ang kanyang pangalan. I started to walk pass through him and lead him to a private place.

Pumunda kami sa garden dito sa University kung saan wala ng tao dahil 5pm na rin nagsisiuwian na ang mga tao. I seated on the bench in front of the fountain at ganon rin ang ginawa niya we have a 5 meters distance and just look at the water that coming from the fountain.

“Celine” he called my name again. I know his looking at me but I choose to stare at the fountain instead of facing him.

I want to let him speak this time.

“I just want to say sorry again sa lahat ng nagawa ko sayo alam kong wala itong kapatawaran but I’m still hoping for your forgiveness.”

“Sa totoo lang Tagan pinatawag na kita kagabi pa I realize everything and i already accept it.” Ngayon ay hinarap ko siya at binigyan ng maliit sa ngiti.

“Kung napatawad mona ako, meron na ba akong chance na patunayan ang sarili ko sayo this time promise babawi ako sa lahat.” His pleasing me right now, as he reaches for my hands.

Umiling ako at nginitian pa siya lalo “Wala kang dapat patunayan Tagan your great just the way you are, kung gusto mong patunayan ang sarili mo wag sakin dahil ok na ako do it for yourself Tagan.”

“but I want you back Celine gusto kong patunayan na totoo ang nararamdaman ko sayo Celine, after I lose you I realize that your importance please let me bring you back”

I sigh.

“Tagan you know what you’re just not use to it, hindi mo lang matanggap na talo ka sa larong ginawa mo Tagan I forgive you already with that. But I want you to know that the feelings that you want to prove is just your pride Tagan, gusto mo lang akong bumalik dahil nasanay kang andyan ako lagi at tatanggapin  lahat ng flaws, you want me back dahil ayaw mong mawalan ng taong nakakaintindi sayo at patuloy na nagmamahal sayo. Tagan you’re afraid to be alone that’s it.” He tighten his grip in my hands and I can see that his trying to control the tears in his eyes.

“No Celine believe me I love you”

“No Tagan can we just accept that we are not for each other lahat ng ito ay pagsubok lang para mas makilala natin ang sarili natin. Tagan don’t be afraid to be alone just open your eyes more and you’ll see the people who love you.” Umiling iling siya habang lumalapit sa tabi ko.

“Celine please let me prove my love hindi ito pride I know it”

“You don’t know it Tagan, this is a new feelings for you kaya akala mo love ito please understand yourself at magtiwala ka makikita mo ang better Tagan and let’s just accept that this is the end of me chasing you and loving you crazy” I lightly laugh after saying those words.

“Celine you’re not you. Please the Celine I know loves me no matter what”

“and the Tagan that I know loves no one but himself” He stiff to what I’ve said at unti-unti niyang binitawan ang kamay ko.

“You have to understand love first Tagan bago mo ito sabihin sa iba. I can be your friend now. “

Tinignan niya ulit ako “Friends? But if this feeling weren’t love Celine, why this feelings were strong to just treat you as a friend. If this is not love why it pains me so bad Celine tell me?” tears escape from his eyes and shook his head.

“I don’t know Tagan but let just let go of the past and start a new life as a friends yon lang ang kaya kong ibigay sayo” tumayo na ako at iniwan siya lumuluha doon.

I feel pain in my chest dahil alam kong mahal ko parin siya but I want to be matured for the both of us. This is the only way to stop all this pain and circumstance.

We need to accept everything and start with our new lifes.

I will let go of you Tagan but you still have the big space here in my heart.

I will always love no matter what.

---

“Celine are you ok?” sinalubong ako ni Zake ng makitang palapit na ako sa upuan namin.

I smiled at him genuinely. “Yes I’m fine Zake” 

“Kamusta ang paguusap nyo?” He guided me to my seat at tumabi sakin, Si Venus at Otis naman ay hinihintay lang akong magsalita ulit.

“I just forgive him and ask him to be my friend”

“What friends? Bakit di mona ba love?” Tanong ni Otis.

Umiling ako at tumawa nalang sa tanong niya “hindi naman mawawala agad ang ganong kalalim na pagmamahal Otis pero mas pinili ko nalang ang mas makakabuti para saming dalawa at yon ay ang kalimutan na ang lahat ng masasamang nangyari sa nakaraan. And start with friends” Venus smiled at me and Otis just nodded at me like his still understanding what I’ve said.

“We’ll support your decision Celine no matter what Celine” Zake said.

I smiled and just look at the stage.

This we’ll be the new start I wish that Tagan will accept everything and achieve SUCCESS IN HIS LIFE.

CHAPTER 43

Tove’s Point of View

“Sigurado ako andito yon tignan mo ah” Aiden said and gently open the door here in Tagan’s condo.

After our rehearsal kanina nagpaalam siya na kakausapin niya si Celine ulit, pero natapos na ang buong gabi ay hindi na namin siya nakita. Kaya ito kami ngayon umagang umaga ay sumusulot sa unit niya.

Pagbukas namin ng pinto ay madilim sa loob, parang walang tao nakasarado ay mga makakapal na kurtina kaya hindi napapasukan ng liwanag sa loob ng unit at sobrang tahimik sa loob.

“Wala ata siya dito?” I said as we enter his unit.

“Andyan yan pakinggan mo yong aircon bukas” tama siya ang tangin tunog lang dito sa loob ay ang bukas na aircon so ibig sabihin may tao.

We walk through the living room pero walang tao at sobrang dilim, naglakad kami papunta sa kwarto niya kung saan may bukas na lampshade at andon siya sa nakayuko sa study table niya.

“Tagan?” Aiden call him pero hindi kami nilingon nito.

Kaya nilapitan namin ito at kinalabit, dahan dahan niya inangat ang kanyang ulo para harapin kami. “Kaya naman pala hindi tayo marinig naka head set” tinanggal ni Aiden ang headset sa tenga ni Tagan.

Tagan just tiredly look at us.

Halatang kakatapos lang umiyak dahil namumula at medyo maga ang kanyang mga mata. Can’t believe the Great Tagan Ramirez where crying the whole night over one girl.

“Hey Mr.heartless” I said and seat on his bed he turn his chair to face us.

“Anong ginagawa mo Gan umaga na pero mukhang gabi parin dito sa unit mo bampira kaba?” umupo rin sa tabi ko si Aiden habang nilalagay ang unan sa lap niya.

“Celine wanted me as her friend” Malamyang sambit ni Tagan.

“Oh anong mali doon ayaw mo yon pinatawad kana niya tapos friends na kayo” Aiden said.

I just look at him and observe.

“But I love her already”

“Mahal mo pero hindi mo naman alam kung anong ibig sabihin ng love” Napunta ang atensyon niya sakin ng magsalita ako.

“Let me ask you Tagan what is love to you? Ayon ba yong tipong ayaw mo lang mawala yong isang tao sayo?” I ask.

Tagan nodded pero halatang hindi siya sigurado doon.

“Tagan that’s not love, hindi mo lang matanggap na mawawalan ka ng taong nagmamahal sayo kaya hinahabol mo at sinasabi mong mahal mo” I said.

He shook his head and we saw tears falling down to his gray shorts.

His crying.

“I don’t fucking know the real Identification of love and its definition to other people, I just feel my heart is breaking into pieces while seeing her walking away from me. I can’t answer what is love because I never love someone before! And it sucks that I’m this useless. I love her too much to be just her friend” He burst out of crying and cover his eyes with his arms.

I look at Aiden and halatang nagulat siya kay Tagan ngayon, this is the first time Tagan’s cry in front of us simula bata pa kami he never cries and his to emotionless back then pero ngayon punong puno ng emotion ang kanyang mukha.

“Pare this is real”Aiden whispered to my ears. I just nodded at him.

“I listen so many love song the whole night just to understand what’s the true meaning of love, I fuck it”nagsimulang suntukin ni Tagana ng kanyang hita ay tuluyang tumayo para sapakin ang pader.

Napatayo kami dahil sa ginagawa niya pero hinyaan lang muna namin siyang ilabas ang nararamdaman niya. When we saw blood on his fist doon nakami kumilos at pinatigil siya.

“It sucks!!!” he shouted habang napaupo siya sa sahig.

This was new to us seeing him so weak and sad.

“Tama na Gan”

“It hurts Tove sobrang sakit, walang naniniwala saking nararamdaman! Oo tama kayong lahat wala akong alam sa pagmamahal pero tangina bakit ako nasasaktan ng ganito kung hindi ito pag ibig. Lahat na ginawa ko para patunayan na gusto ko siyang bumalik sakin pero huli na ako!”

“Hindi ka pa huli Tagan” I whisper.

“Tagan try to understand love deeper than anyone knows, after that you’ll face her and prove your love to her” Napatigil siya sa pagiyak at tinignan kami.

“Tama Gan hindi pa huli ang lahat, at kung totoong mahal mo siya hindi ka titigil sa paggiging kaibigan niya lang patunayan mo ang sarili mo at pakita sakanya na alam mo ang nararamdaman mo and you should be sure about it.” Aiden said.

“Iiwan ka muna namin babalik kami mamayang hapon para sunduin ka, fix yourself Gan may contest pa tayo mamaya” We pat his shoulders and leave him seating on the floor.

---

“HELLO EVERYONE GOODEVENING AND WELCOME TO THIS UNIVERSITY CLASH!!!” malakas na sigaw ng president ng university. The contest was about to start and we are getting ready for it.

Our goal is to win this contest.

“Celine ito oh tubig na hindi malamig uminom ka muna bago tayo magperform sa stage mamaya, ready kana ba?” Zake said after handing me a bottle of water.

“I’m 100% ready!”

“Celine suotin mo ito dali” Venus make me face the wall and sinuot niya sakin ang kwintas na silver with a guitar pendant.

“saan mo to galing?” I ask.

“Basta lucky charm yan” hindi niya na ako sinagot at inayos ang make up namin.

“MAY WE CALL ON CNTRL S FROM MONDRIAN UNIVERSITY!!! LET’S GIVE THEM AROUND OF APPLAUSE “ narinig namin ang pagtawag kila Tagan mula sa back stage kaya sumilip kami sa stage and saw them fixing their things and setting his guitar.

Dumako ang tingin niya sakin, It was full of emotions and I can’t read one pero I just smiled at him just to cheer him before their performance.

He smiled back pero halatang pilit iyon.

They started playing.

(WITHOUT YOU - AJ Rafael)

Bucket full of tears Babe, you know I’m here I’m here waiting Close your precious eyes and Just realize I’m still fighting For you to be with me And sit under this tress And we can watch the sun rise.

We can watch the sunrise..

I saw Tagan look at me and sing it too, sumabay siya sa pagkanta ni Tove.

Wake up, feel the air That I’m breathing I can’t explain this Feeling that I’m feeling I won’t go another day Without you

Naramdaman ko ang pagtibok ng puso ko habang pinagmamasdan siyang kumakanta. i also saw tears on his eyes. His crying in the middle of the performance and he didn’t take off his gaze in me.

I won’t go another day Without you, Without you And this is me tonight There’s no more Games and no more lies. And I know it’s right ’cause of the way you look Into my eyes

And when I hold you tight, The worries disappear I’m glad you’re in my life Wake up, feel the air that I’m breathing I can’t explain This feeling that I’m feeling I won’t go another day Without you

Hold tight, I promise it gets Brighter and when it rains, I’ll hold you even tighter I won’t go another day Without you

Without you And I won’t go Another day Without you

They are done performing, He wipe his tears and gaze at me one last time before they left the stage.

I don’t know but my heart was rising…

Focus Celine!

CHAPTER 44

“LET’S WELCOME THE PRIDE OF ETHEREAL UNIVERSITY THE NEFARIOUS!!!”

We step on the stage and set out instruments. This is it we need to aim for the goal.

Focus Celine!

“LET’S GIVE THEM A HANDS EVERYONE,” nagsigawan ang mga tao and we start playing our piece.

(Keep on holding On – Avril Lavigne)

You’re not alone Together we stand I’ll be by your side, you know I’ll take your hand When it gets cold And it feels like the end There’s no place to go You know I won’t give in No I won’t give in

Keep holding on ’cause you know We’ll make it through We’ll make it through Just stay strong ’cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you There’s nothing you could say Nothing you could do There’s no other way when it Comes to the thruth

My eyes were finding him. I want to see him..

Keep holding on ’cause You know we’ll Make it through, We’ll make it through

Napatapos ang kanta namin ng hindi ko nakita si Tagan nananuod, maybe he don’t wanna see me play. I shook my head and we step out of the stage and went straight ahead the backstage. Kahit sa backstage hindi ko siya nakita.

Hayaan mona Celine focus on the contes. Kahit anong pilit kong wag siyang isipin, pagkatapos ko siya nakitang tumogtog kanina para ng gusto ko ulit tumakbo papunta sakanya at kalimutan lahat ng sakit at pader na tinayo ko sa puso ko.

I know I still love him deeper than the ocean.

I still want to choose him kahit na sinabi ko nang hanggang kaibigan nalang kami, after he sing my heart is completely ruin parang bigla itong kumawala sa binalot kong pader. I thought that I can stop using my heart for him but seeing his tears.

His sincerity

And his love I don’t know I mess up the whole changes in my life.

Parang gusto ko nalang ulit magpaka tanga sakanya.

I was finding him at the backstage at kahit saang lugar dito sa contest pero wala talaga siya.

And when the time of the announcement of winner wala din siya sa tabi nila Tove and Aiden.

Where is he?

“Guys this was a wonderful night and we are field with different kinds of music from our university bands and now we are headed to the announcement of winner, please let’s call on our city mayor for the announcing of champion” Lahat kaming mga banda ay nakaupo na sa tapat ng stage para sa paghintay  ng announcement.

I’m still roaming around hoping to see him but I failed wala akong nakita kahit anino niya.

“FOR OUR YEAR UNIVERSITY CLASH WINNER ARE…..

I don’t listen to the announcement dahil patuloy parin hinahanap ng mga mata ko si Tagan sa paligid pero wala talaga…

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” nagulat ako ng simigaw si Venus sa tabi ko! She pull’s me up and that made me stand up. Gulong gulo ako sa biglang pagsigaw niya when I realize that we won the contest.

“GO HERE ON THE STAGE NEFARIOUS AND CLAIM YOUR TROPHY” I look at my band mates there were so happy about it.

Umakyat kami sa stage at tinanggap ang trophy namin, they were so busy on thanking the mayor habang ako biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang sinasabing deal nila Tagan sa dean nila.

If they lose this contest ay magdidisband na ang Cntrl S.

We won so this means they lose and will disband. Para naman akong nalungkot at natakot para sa banda nila. I don’t want them to disband maliban sa mahal ko si Tagan there band is really good.

Bakit nila hinayaan na matalo? Para saan pa ang paggamit sakin ni Tagan kung nagpatalo lang sila.

I gaze at Aiden and Tove but their just smiling at me and clapping with the crowd.

“Congratilation Miss Amora” napunta ang atensyon ko sa mayor ng kausapin ako nito ay nakipagkamay.

I smiled at him “Thank you po”

We were taking a pictures but I’m still distracted by the fact that Cntrl S lose.

“isa pang picture” sabi ng photographer.

“Ok one last shot” he said at kasabay ng pagflash ng camera ay ang pagkawala ng ilaw.

I can hear people shouted as the lights turns off, pero bigla kaming nagulat ng magkaroon ng spot lights sa dulo ng field.

Tagan was there stand and staring at me.

I gasp seeing him standing there. I was looking everywhere for him.

Nagsimula siyang maglakad papalapit dito sa stage and I now everyone is looking at him dahil sakanya lang ang may liwanag dito sa venue.

My heart was pounding as he reaches the end of the stage. Nasa tapat ko siya ngayon. His wearing a black hoodie and a trouser pants with vans shoes.

Just like the style when we are in highschool.

“Celine” he called my name making me stiff and nervous about it.

“I know I made you cry a hundred times and lead you to many accidents I also broke your heart big time. I ask for your forgiveness and you just give it to me that fast like i just stole a ball pen from you. You were so kind, light and priceless. I’m too dumb to see that before because I was so blind about love.”

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko mas bumibilis lang ang pagtibok ng puso ko habang nagsasalita siya sa harap ko.

“You said that it’s just my pride that’s way I’m chasing you and telling you that I love you well in fact I can’t even answer the question of what is love. Your right I love nobody else but myself. But when Tove ask me what is the definition of love for me i don’t know what to answer so I continue listening to many love song just to find out the true meaning of it but you know what Celine…” he stop and stare at me for a moment.

Lahat ng tao ay nanatiling tahimik at nakatingin kay Tagan.

I can’t breathe clearly any more.

“Instead of finding the answer I found you in every one of them.”

Tears escape from my eyes.

“Every lyrics that express love is the lyrics of love that you give me, over the past 6 year that you endlessly show your love to me now I know that love is not about perfection or how we fit each other but it’s the sincerity that you given me. “

Why are you doing this to me Tagan?

“If you think that this feeling is just my pride I really don’t know what love to you Celine but for me you’re not just a fans and a girl to play with you’re not a game, you are my reality.”

I don’t understand what to feel anymore I just know that I’m happy and all the fear inside of me fade away.

I just know that I love him.

“Celine will you love me back….again?”

Agad akong tumakbo pababa ng stage at walang alin langan na tumalon at niyakap siya. I was crying so laud as ai hug him.

“Celine I might not promise that I won’t hurt you anymore but I’ll do my very best to give you the love that I know”

Lalo akong naiyak ay humigpit ang yakap ko sakanya. I don’t care if he hurts me again ang mahalaga ay mahal ko siya at kahit anong pilit kong tanggalin siya sa sistema ko ay hindi ko magawa dahil his name were engrave to my whole soul.  

“Celine life cannot be complete without I, smile is not smile if their no I, so I am is very important but this I can never be successful without U I love you Celine this time it’s real”

After he said those words his lips crash into mine that made the crowd clap and smile.

Hindi ko alam kung pano ko ipapaliwanag kung gano ako kasaya ngayon pero isa lang ang alam ko I love this man in front of me.

At sa kahit anong situation at pagsubok ay mananatili kong sasabihin na “I WON’T GIVE UP ON YOU TAGAN”

“I LOVE YOU CELINE”

“I LOVE YOU MORE TAGAN”

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Author:Epilouge na tayo guys STAY TUNED AND WAIT FOR CALI AND AIDENS STORY…

RML PLAYLIST

♡ Ruin my life by Zara Larsson

♡The hills by The Weekends

♡Stuck with you by Ariana Grande & Justin Bieber

♡I don’t wanna live forever by Zayn and Taylor Swift

♡Ain’t you fault by Zara Larsson

♡Ruthless by Yelly (female Version)

♡ Teardrops on my guitar by Taylor Swift

♡Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift

♡Without you by Aj Rafael

♡Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne

EPILOGUE

Author: Thank you for reading till the end!!!

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“Congratulations Celine Darling!!!” My mom gently hugged me while controlling her tear that makes me chuckle and look at my Father who’s smiling at me.

Its second week of March and we are finally graduated in college! I can’t believe na ganon kabilis ang panahon parang kailan lang I just step here as a grade 12 student and now I already graduated.

“We’re so proud of you Celine” my brother taps my shoulder while I’m still hugging my mom.

“Thank you kuya”

“CELINNNEEEEEE!!!” doon bumitaw sakin si mommy ng margining naming sumigaw si Venus kasama sila Zake at Otis.

She jump and hugged me muntikan na nga kami matumba buti nalang naalalayan agad kami ni Otis at Zake. “Easy naman Venus matumba kayo!” suway ni Otis sakanya, she just pouted at me and hug me tighter.

“congrats satin me made it!” Zake said while staring at me, I gave him a genuine smile and nodded at him.

“Yeah I think we did” Otis said.

“Hindi lang natin naabot ang pangarap na to’ meron pa tayong bonus na blessings” bumitaw sa pagkakayakap sakin si Venus at nagtatakang tinignan si Otis. The same goes mine.

“What do you mean?”

“what do I mean nye” he mock what Venus said and laugh. “I what I mean is we received a contract from Brave Records gusto nila tayong maging band artist!!!” we all literally have widened eyes after what Otis said.

“TOTOO BA?” Venus said.

“Yes ito nga oh” may kinuha si Otis sa likod niya na sobra at binuksan iyon sa harapan namin.

He handed the paper to Zake at sabay sabay naming binasa ang nakasulat doon. And his not joking totoo nga na Brave Records sended us a contract to be their artist.

“Oh my god” I said and look at my parents, they were just smiling at me and I can see that their proud of me.

“WAHHHHHH MAGIGING ARTISTA NA TAYOOO!” Venus shouted and we have a group hug. Were so happy right now this is a double blessings.

Thank you lord…

After we take a pictures nagpunta kami ng pamilya ko sa isang Chinese restaurant para doon kumain and we didn’t know na doon din pala kakain sila Venus and Otis with their families.

Maybe Zake is in a different Restaurant. Magkakatabi lang ang aming mga table kaya mas masayang kumain like were having a big celebration.

we started eating and just have a simple chichats with each other, talking about what I’m gonna pursue after this. Well I really plan to work as an artist and god just gave it to me earlier than I expected.  Because pangarap ko talaga magtrabaho sa showbiz industry and be a singer. That’s my goal and I’m going to achieve it.

“Darlin stop using your phone while were in the middle of our dinner please” I look at my mom and just gestured a peace sign bago ko binalik sa bag ko ang Cellphone ko.

Because I was texting him all the time alam kong tapos narin ang graduation nila pero bakit wala pa siya hindi man lang nagparamdam.

I can’t even focus on eating cou’z I’m busy thinking of him.

Natapos na ang lahat lahat pati ang dinner namin slash graduation celebration pero wala parin siya he didn’t even texted me.

“Mom restroom lang po ako bago tayo umalis” paalam ko, my mom nodded so I headed straight to the restroom dala ang cellphone ko para sana matawagan ko siya doon.

As I enter the restroom I quikly dialed his number but almost a minutes passed by puro ring lang ang natanggap ko.

“Where are you Tagan?” I whispered.

I tried it once again pero this time I really push my limit and patients para hintayin siyang sumagot pero wala talaga ayaw niyang sagutin or hindi niya ako gusting kausapin!

Naiinis na lumabas ako ng restroom but I immediately stop where the lights out. Brown out ba? Naglakad ako ng dahan dahan and kinapa ang dadanan ko para hindi ako matumba.

“Mom!” I tried to call my mom pero wala sumasagot kahit na onting liwanag wala. I started to get nervous kasi baka kung anong nagyari sa kanila. “Venus!” I call for some one pero wala talaga.

My knees were shaking already because I’m getting scared about this situation.

I was about to cry when the light came back and everyone is looking at me holding a pink balloons.

I was surrounded by many people I know lahat sila andito, kahit na si Zake and his family. I was so confuse about this pero napunta ang atensyon ko sa isang taong naglalakad papalapit sakin na may dalang napakalaking bucket of pink roses.

My heart started to pound.

Nang nasa harapan ko na ito he move the bucket so I can see his face and he gave me a sweet smile that makes me smile too.

“Tagan” he let go of the bucket on the floor and reach my hands.

“Celine Congratulations babe” he greeted.

“Congrats too” I hugged him so tight para bang sobrang namiss ko siya. “Kaya pala hindi mo sinasagot ang mga tawag ko your up to something” he chuckle and kiss me on my cheeks.

Medyo matagal kaming nagyakapan bago siya bumitaw at tinignan ako, everyone is looking at us my parents, friend, band mates they were smiling at us.

“Celine” bumalik ang tingin ko kay Tagan ng tawagin niya ang pangalan ko.

We were together after the contest and now were already 7 months in a relationship and it’s getting deeper every single day.pinatunayan niya nga ang sarili niya and he never failed to make me happy.

Minsan nagkakaron ng selosan pero agad din namang naayos…

“Celine we already achieve the dreams of our parents for us right?” I nodded at him.

“So now can I achieve my dream for myself?” nagtaka naman ako sa tanong niya why is he asking me that?

“What is your dream then?” I asked.

“You carrying my name” he kneeled and raise diamond ring in front of me. I wasn’t expecting this so I quickly cover my mouth with my hands and I’m in the state of shock.

“Yashashree Celine Amora the girl I’ve ignored when we were in high school, the girl who is madly in love to a fuck up man like me, the girl that makes my heart beat fast, the girl that made me realize of real love and the girl that I want to spend my whole life with Celine will you marry me?”

Hindi ko alam kung anong una kong gagawin basta ang alam ko tumutulo nang tuluyan ang mga luha ko. Everyone is waiting for my answer.

And when I was about to answer him “Tagan––” I was cut off nangbiglang tumakbo ako sa restroom.

Ready na ba ako para dito?

I throw up there and Tagan immediately follow’s me and my parents too.  “Babe are you alright?” nagaalalang tanong ni Tagan habang hinahagod ang likod ko while I’m still throwing up big time here in the sink.

“Darling iha what’s happening ano bang kinain mo kasi!!”

Nangmatapos akong sumuka I hold Tagan’s hands and look straight at him “YES I WILL MARRY YOU TAGAN!”

“Really?” I nodded and he hugged me so tight “Thank you baby I love you so much” he whisper.

We went out of the restroom at bumalik sa labas.“AND GUEST WHAT!” I shouted and everyone look at me.

“I’m PREGNANT !!!”

“WHAT?” sigaw nilang lahat.

Hahahahhahahah I guess this is the start of my own wonderful story, love will hurt you but it will make you still find someone that completes you and Tagan’s complete the ruin life I’ve had, I will never stop loving this person even through thick and thin.

Love will still unite us

And now with our first baby our journey is about to start…

Tagan I want you to RUIN MY LIFE FOREVER!!!!

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Author: Thank you for reading this story. Please check my others story kung hindi mo pa ito nababasa and wait for the next Cntrl S series the story of Aiden and Cali. I’ll give you a one mysterious story.

MUSIKA

Musika

Musika,Musika ang naging daan upang mag tagpo kaming dalawa.Sariwa pa saking mga ala-ala ang kanyang itsura sa tuwing hawak niya ang kanyang gitara.Hindi na maalis ang mga paningin ko sa kanya. Kasing lamig man ng yelo ang mga mata nya, ay hindi na yun mahalaga.Araw-araw ko syang dinadalhan ng pag kaing matamis na ako mismo ang gumawa.Baka sakaling umangat ang magkabilang dulo ng labi nya. Baka sakaling makita niya,Makita nya na may Celine na nag mamahal sakanya.Ngunit sadyang matigas yata talaga ang puso nya.

      Sa tuwing lalapit ako ay para syang napapaso.Para sa kanya ay wala akong pinag kaiba sa mga babaeng humahanga sa kanya. Nainlove ako sa taong hindi marunong mag mahal. Sa taong kasing tigas ng bato ang puso.Masakit man ay pinilit kong ialis ang mga paningin ko sakanya. “Nakalimot na ako.” Salitang binitawan ko sa sarili ko,Ngunit mali ako.Nakita ko lang sya saglit, Ay nakaramdam ulit ako ng sakit. 

Ang mga likidong nag mumula saking mga mata ay nag uunahang bumaba.Muli akong tumakbo ngunit hindi na palapit sayo.Ngunit traydor ang mga paa at puso ko. Nakita ko na lamang ang sarili ko sa piling mo.Ang mga labi natin ay parehong nakangiti.At heto na nga, Dumating na ang araw na pinapangarap ko. Ang araw na sabihin mo saking mahal mo ako.Paulit-ulit mo man akong sirain ay paulit-ulit parin kitang mamahalin.Ang taong sumira sa akin noon ay sya rin palang bubuo sakin ngayon.Hindi na ako takot masirang muli,Dahil mayroon na kong Tagan na kasama.

Tulang hango sa istoryang ito, isinagawa ni

Shereen

, 

Taos pusong pagpapasalamat sa magandang tulang inalay sa istorya, 

-Dawnvellichor

PLEASE READ!!!

Hello,

New Readers and Old Babidawns, I’m here to sincerely apologize for ruining your expectation for this story, alam kong sobrang daming errors, typos, grammatical errors, wrong spellings sa story na ito. Hindi po kasi inaasahan na madaming magbabasa nito ngayon kaya hindi ko muna inabala ang pageedit ng mga stories ko. Alam kong mahirap magbasa ng mga story na maraming error, please just let me finish my on-going story and I promise to fix all of my errors to all my story. Please don’t expect too much, I’m just starting to grow in this flatform. Please bear with me and I’m really sorry.

-Dawnvellichor