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EL Ordre is an organization that was built to help the government. They were the ones who did dangerous and illegal works for them. The government didn’t have any clue who the members are. At dahil gumagawa ng mga bagay na labag sa batas, kahit na tumutulong ay ipinapahuli pa din nila.

Pero mahirap mahuli ang mga myembro. Kahit isa ay wala pang nadadakip sa kanila. The members were trained to develop their skills and strength. Para lang silang nanghuhuli sa hangin.

But little did they know, the EL Ordre wasn’t good at all. May laro silang sinimulan na ang mga myembro sa loob ng organisasyon ang mga manlalaro.

It was called the “Bloody Human Chess Game”.

Their opponent is called The Red Faction. Just like the EL Ordre, they’re an organization with members who were also trained to develop their skills and strength. Pero simula pa noon ay magkalaban na talaga ang dalawang organisasyon.

Bloody game dahil paniguradong dadanak ng dugo sa paglalaro. The members will act as the chess pieces. They have to use their guns and brain to survive.

The game will only end if one has killed the opponent’s King and say “Checkmate”.

Prologue

“Alter, what’s the status?”

Napakamot ako sa likod ng tenga ko dahil narinig ko na naman ang monotonous voice ni Enki sa headset ko. I tapped on my keyboards and hack the hotel cameras. So far, everything is under control.

“Just as planned, Enki.” sabi ko at inilagay ang lollipop sa loob ng bibig ko.

“Stop calling me, Enki. My name is Enkidu.” kontra na naman nya at napangisi na lang ako.

Enkidu, the kontra boy.

“Copy that, Enki.”

I worked my fingers on my computers’ keyboards. I can see the entire hall of the hotel on the monitors. Limang monitor ang kaharap ko. Two at the top and three at the bottom. Tatlong keyboards naman ang ginagamit ko.

Sinipsip ko ang lollipop na nasa bibig ko. It’s sweet but I don’t like the taste. Naubos na kasi yung lollipop brand na gusto ko nang mag grocery ako so I had no choice but to buy this one. I can’t work without a lollipop.

Shit lang. Isang pack pa naman ang binili ko.

I squinted my eyes when I finally saw our prey. He has a girl with him and he’s holding her on her waist. I wrinkled my nose and looked at them disgustingly.

Itong matandang ’to! Mamamatay na lang pero feeling binata pa rin!

“Enki, four o’clock.”

Nakita kong nilingon ni Enki ang direksyon na itinuro ko. The guy is so fucking handsome. I’m willing to whoo this one if he’ll just smile while talking to me.

“Alright. Back me up.” he said and I smirked.

“Roger.”

I hacked the hotel’s security system. Hindi man lang ako pinagpawisan. Their firewall is too weak. Hindi ko alam kung tanga ba ang mga taga-IT nila o pinamimigay lang nila ang security system nila.

I made a final tapped and removed my lollipop in my mouth. The timer is running and I saw Enki walking towards our target.

“The light’s will go off in three… Two… One.”

The whole hotel had a black out after I counted. Ibinalik ko ulit ang lollipop sa bibig ko at sinipsip iyon.

Ugh… It tastes horrible!

The light went back again and I can hear the murmurs of the guests on my headphones. I tapped and tried to find out where Enki is. Sinundan ko kung saan sya pumunta kanina at nakita kong nasa isang lugar na sila kung saan hindi hagip ng CCTVs.

Kainis naman… I have to settle myself by listening in on their conversation!

“Sino ka?” rinig kong sabi nung matanda. Halata ang takot doon sa boses nya.

“Your worst nightmare.”

Kamuntik na akong bumunghalit ng tawa! Shit ka, Enki! Hindi ko alam na may pagka-corny rin pala sya! Sa dinami-dami ng sagot ay iyon pa talaga ang naisip nya!

Ipe-playback ko mamaya tapos gagawin kong ringtone!

“A-are you from the Red Faction?” dinig kong tanong ni Tanda. “Please, s-spare me. Naibigay ko na ang gusto nyo.”

“You did but you also broke the rule, Mr. Gomez. And you know what punishment awaits you, right?”

“I’m sorry! Hindi ko alam na may natitira pang kopya ng files! Spare me!”

May halo nang pagmamakaawa sa boses ni Tanda. Feeling ko din ay nakaluhod na sa harapan ni Enki si Mr. Gomez. I tsked. Kaya gusto ko na nasa front line at hindi nakatago lang sa likod ng mga computer ko. Gusto ko kasing maranasan na may magmakaawa sa harapan ko.

And I never killed anyone. Ever. While everyone on my teammates had already killed someone. Nagpaparamihan pa nga sila!

Kung sabagay. Ako lang naman ang pinakamagaling na tracker na meron sila. They wouldn’t accomplished any mission without me. They will not be able to move if not for me. They need me.

As I am the Red Faction’s Knight.

Silence was all I heard on my headphones. Napatigil tuloy ako sa pagsipsip ng lollipop sa bibig ko. Gusto ko na talagang isuka dahil hindi ko gusto ang lasa pero wala na akong lollipop.

Lollipop is my everything. Isasama ko na din ang computers and keyboards ko na sobrang ganda ng back light.

It’s pink!

“Did you kill him?” I asked Enki after a while. I have an idea that he killed the old guy with a gun and a silencer.

“Yes.” diretsong sagot nya. Napailing na lang ako.

He’s like a robot.

“Okay. Then get out of there. Ang kalat mo talagang magtrabaho.”

Kaya ayoko kapag sya ang nagiging ka-partner ko sa mga missions. Palagi kasing nagiging madugo ang nangyayari even if the higher ups said that we should be careful dahil nagiging mainit na ang laro namin.

Kailangan naming kumilos nang mabilis at tahimik. Pero si Enki, pasakit sa ulo.

Nagulat ako nang tumunog ang warning tone ng laptop ko. I saw the same logo on the five monitors and the red light on the room got activated. Nagmukha tuloy akong nasa horror film dahil sa naging ilaw sa kwarto ko.

“What’s happening?” tanong ni Enki na siguro ay narinig ang warning tone sa computer.

I laughed. “Nothing. Just someone trying to break the firewall.”

He tsked. “He doesn’t know when to give up.”

“Or she. We still don’t know if the EL Ordre’s tracker is a he or a she.”

“Make sure to do your work properly.” sabi nya na ikinataas ng kilay ko.

“Wow! Sino kaya sa atin ang hindi ginagawa ng maayos ang trabaho?” I started tapping on the keyboard. “Sige na, Enki. Get out off there. Ako na ang bahala dito.”

“It’s Enkidu.”

Enki disconnected the call so I put all my concentration fighting with the tracker who’s trying to get in. This already happened so many times before and luckily, I successfully defended our security. Kailangan, eh. Kung hindi ay katapusan na naming lahat.

I admit that the EL Ordre’s tracker is really good. Nangangalay na ang mga daliri ko bago ko sya tuluyang matalo. And no one has ever defeated me. Pero kung meron man na mukhang mapapantayan ang skills ko when it comes to hacking, then it’s the EL Ordre’s tracker. Minsan din kasi ay may ilan syang nakukuha mga files sa akin nang hindi ko alan.

I actually gets excited whenever he’s trying to break the firewall. Sobra talaga akong nae-excite! Sa tinagal-tagal ko kasi sa hacking world ay wala talagang naging challenge sa akin, not until this person came. Imbes na mainis, magalit o mag alala na baka matalo nya ako ay nae-excite lang ako.

“Hello again, tracker. I wanna meet you someday.” I said and stared at the skull logo on the monitors.

And just like before, halos isang oras ko ding dinepensahan ang security system namin bago ko tuluyang napaalis ang tracker. I felt sad when they left and leaned my back on my computer chair.

“Who are you?” tanong ko habang iniisip kung sino ang tracker ng EL Ordre. I really wanna meet him… Or her.

Inayos ko ang monitor at sinuyod ang mga files kung may nawala ba. So far, wala naman. I’m really good at defense. Kaya hindi ako inilalagay ng Red Faction sa offense..

Because of the EL Ordre’s tracker trying to hack my computers, may iilang mga CCTV cameras ang na-disconnect. I groaned. Ito lang ang part na ayoko kapag nangyayari ito. I have to change all the CCTV that were disconnected into a new one. May possibility kasi na na-hack ang iba kaya na-disconnect so kailangang palitan ng bago.

Buti na lang at medyo kaunti lang ngayon.

Hinuli kong pinuntahan ang kwarto ng King. His room’s CCTV got disconnected too so I had to go there and change it. I don’t really like going there. Not because I don’t like the King but because of its atmosphere. Hindi ko gusto ang nararamdaman ko kapag pumapasok ako sa kwartong iyon.

Natigil ako sa pagpasok sa kwarto ng King. Nakita ko kasi kaagad ang isang babaeng nakatayo sa gilid ng kama nya at nakatingin sa lalaking nakahiga. I sighed and decided to enter the room.

I heard the beeping from the machine when I closed the door. Nakita ko din ang machine na nagmo-monitor ng lifeline sa taong nakahiga. The man has a tube inside his mouth that is connected to the ventilator to help him breathe. He has a bandage on his head and his eyes were closed.

Napatingin ako sa babaeng nakatitig lang sa lalaking nakapikit. Sadness is written all over her face. Ito ang ayoko kaya hindi ako pumapasok dito, eh. Masyadong mabigat sa dibdib. Masyadong nakaka-down ang atmosphere.

“Nandito pala ang traitor.” sabi ko na dahil hindi ko na kinakaya ang bigat ng hangin sa paligid. Napatingin sya sa akin at halata ang inis sa mga mata nya.

Mas thrilling pa kapag ganito sya.

“Shut up, Alter.”

“Bakit? Totoo naman na traydor ka, ah? Deny ka pa dyan.”

Hindi sya sumagot at tumingin lang ulit sa lalaking nakahiga. Boring. Mabuti na lang at maganda sya. Kung hindi ay wala talagang magkakagusto sa kanya.

She’s a traitor and a boring person. She’s the reason why our King is in this condition.

“How’s the King, Yucca?” I asked. Ipinatong ko ang bag ko sa upuan doon para ayusin na ang CCTV.

Her eyes became more sad as she stared down at the King. Humaplos ang mga kamay nya sa mukha nitong parang natutulog lang. But we all know that his life is in danger. Hindi namin alam kung magigising pa ang King o hindi na.

And when he dies, then it’s game over. Kaya hindi dapat malaman ng EL Ordre ang tungkol dito. I should defend our security system more carefully.

Well, at least… We already killed their Rook. Nabawasan ang depensa nila. It’ll be easy for us to defeat them now that their protector is gone.

It was obviously a trap and yet, they walked right into it. Napanood ko pa mula sa mga CCTV camera kung gaano kadaming tama ng baril ang natanggap ng Rook.

Then the explosion.

“Still the same.” mahinang bulong ni Yucca at hinawakan ang kamay ng aming King. I sighed and looked away.

“No improvements?”

“Nothing…”

Hindi na ako nagsalita at nagpatuloy na lang sa dapat na gawin. Naiinis lang ako dahil nalulungkot ako. Nanghahawa kasi ng feelings si Yucca, eh.

Buti na lang at hindi na rin naman ako kinausap ni Yucca. Ayoko talagang kausap sya. May parte sa akin na ayaw na magtiwala sa kanya. Traydor sya. Ang daming napahamak at muntik nang mapahamak nang dahil sa kanya. At ngayon nga ay ang King naman namin ang napahamak nang dahil sa kanya.

Our King Lancer.

I did one last glance at them before I went out the room. I am expecting for the worst. Hindi na rin ako umaasang magigising pa nga ang King. Mas masakit kasing umasa tapos ay hindi pala mangyayari ang inaasahan mo. Kaya mas mabuti ang ganito. If I expect for the worst, then at least hindi na masyadong magiging masakit para sa akin.

My phone rang when I got inside my car. I saw that it was my father who’s calling so I connected the phone on my car and answered his call.

“Hi, Papa!” I greeted him with a jolly tone pero kabaligtaran yata ang nararamdaman nya.

“Codee Altera Vasco! Nasaan ka na naman?!”

Napangiwi ako nang dumagundong ang boses nya sa loob ng kotse ko. Geez… Galit na naman sya.

“Papa, please. Don’t call me by my full name. Natatakot ako kapag galit ka. Kaya ayoko sa buong pangalan ko, eh.”

He sighed. Feeling ko ay sinusubukan nyang pakalmahin ang sarili nya.

Totoo naman kasi. Kapag nagagalit sya ay tinatawag nya ako sa buong pangalan ko kaya nagka-trauma tuloy ako sa sarili kong pangalan.

“Where are you, Codee?” he asked in a calm way. Napangiti ako.

“On the way home, Papa. I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

“How many times should I tell you that you have to tell me everytime you’ll go out of the house?” tanong nya sa papataas na naman na tono.

“Papa, relax… You’re getting angry again.” I laughed to lift the mood. “Nothing happened to me naman po.”

“I shouldn’t have fired all those bodyguards that you have!”

I wrinkled my nose. Ilang beses na kasi akong binibigyan ni Papa ng mga bodyguards pero sinisisante nya rin kapag natatakasan ko. Well, the bodyguards were too slow and doesn’t have enough intelligence. Mabilis ko silang nauutakan.

“I don’t need any bodyguard, Papa. I can take care of myself.” I said.

“Hindi ka dapat magsalita ng tapos. Codee.” my father said and I just pursed my lips. “I am a business tycoon, my dear. Marami akong kaaway at gagamitin ka nila laban sa akin.”

Marami rin akong kaaway, my dear father. Paramihan pa tayo kung gusto mo.

“Pero wala pa namang nangyayaring masama sa akin.” katwiran ko.

“Hindi ko na hihintaying may mangyaring masama sa iyon bago kita protektahan, Codee. Prevention is better than cure.”

I rolled my eyes. He’s making it sound like I have some disease.

“I’ll hire a bodyguard for you again. And don’t try your tricks on him this time, young lady.”

“Papa—”

“I’ll make sure na hindi mo na matatakasan ang kukunin ko ngayon.”

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako. Yeah, right. Para namang makakahanap sya ng ganoong tao. I was trained under the Red Faction. I knew how to outsmart someone. How to escape situations. I also know several martial arts kaya I’m sure na matatakasan ko na naman ang ipapadala nyang bodyguard.

Unless he’s a chess piece, then he has a chance to match my skills.

“Go home straight, Codee. I’ll wait for you here.” my father said and I just can’t help but to sigh.

“Alright, Papa.”

Chapter 1

Naisipan kong pumunta sa training ground sa underground ng Red Faction. Pinili ko na lang na tawagin ang lugar as under-training-ground. Dito madalas nag eensayo ang mga myembro ng chess pieces. They were fighting against one another as a part of their practice. Habang ako, taga nood lang sa isang sulok.

It feels so unfair for me. I am part of the chess pieces too! A Knight to be exact! One of the higher pieces! Pero anong ginagawa ko? Heto. Nakaupo at nakatitig sa screen ng laptop ko with a lollipop inside my mouth!

I want to be on the frontline and fight enemies too. Gusto kong makipag suntukan at makipag patayan. Mukhang thrilling kasi. And sometimes, I am cheering for my team when they’re doing a mission like I was just watching a boxing match. Tapos naiinis sila at patatahimikin ako.

Guess, I have no choice. Ako lang ang marunong sa computer sa grupo. They need me like I am their eyes. That’s how important my skills to the group.

Napatigil ako sa tuloy tuloy na pagpasok when I saw who was sitting on the grand chair like a royalty. Pinapanood nya ang dalawang naglalaban sa loob ng boxing ring na nandoon sa pinakagitna ng training ground na’to. She’s petting her very big cat that’s sitting beside her chair.

It’s our Queen.

Shit lang… Mukhang mali ang timing ng pagpunta ko.

“Alter, you’re here.” said the Queen and gave me a warm smile. “Come. Sit here beside me.”

Napalunok ako. Shit talaga. Hindi na ako pwedeng umatras at magtago. The Queen already saw me. At isang malaking pagkakamali kung hindi ko susundin ang utos nya.

Reluctantly, I sat on the chair beside her. It was a rubbish compared to her majectic chair with a diamond and rhinestones ornaments. Kapag nakakuha ako kahit isa sa mga dyamanteng iyon ay ilang laptops at computers na ang mabibili ko. Pero natatakot akong mahuli at ipakin sa alaga nyang pusa na sobrang laki.

It’s not just an ordinary cat. It’s a tiger. A damn Sumatran tiger!

“Hi, Nergal.” bati ko sa malaking pusa na tumingin lang sa akin bago pumikit dahil sa paghaplos ng amo nya.

Wow, snob.

“Who do you think will win, Alter?” I heard the soft voice of our Queen. She was looking at the chess pieces who were fighting inside the boxing ring.

Ang isa ay si Enki at ang kalaban nya ay si Yucca. At obvious na pagod na si Yucca kaya sa hula ko ay kanina pa naglalabanan ang dalawa. Enki also looked tired but I know that he will win this fight. Yucca became weak these past few days dahil sa palaging pagbabantay kay King Lancer.

“It is Enkidu, Your Majesty.” I answered

Her lips stretched as she smiled. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Nagustuhan nya ang sagot ko. I’m safe. Hindi ako magiging hapunan ni Nergal.

“I fucking hate that bitch.”

I gulped when her tone suddenly changed while glaring at Yucca. I saw Enki gave a kick to Yucca pero nahawakan naman ang paa nya. Kaya mabilis na umikot ang lalaki at ang kabilang paa ang ginamit na pang sipa. Tinamaan si Yucca sa mukha at agad na bumagsak sa sahig ng boxing ring. Napangiwi ako.

That’s ouch…

“Does she still visits the King?” the Queen asked.

Mabilis kong binuksan ang laptop ko at pinanood sa kanya ang araw araw na pagbisita ni Yucca kay King Lancer that sometimes, she’s even sleeping inside his room. She’s taking care of the King who’s still in coma up until now.

“That traitor.” nangigigil na sabi ng Queen. Bumaon ang mahahaba at magaganda nyang kuko sa majestic chair nya. Inabangan ko na matanggal ang nakakabit na diamond doon hanggang sa makita ko ang tingin ni Nergal na mukhang inaabangan din na magkamali ako sa pagkilos. And I’ll be his dinner when that happens.

Napatikhim ako at umayos na lang sa pag upo.

“Tell me, Alter. Why is she doing this, huh? She’s the reason why the King is in that state! We almost lose the game because of her idiocy!” The Queen looked angry but she still managed to looked like a queen.

A pretty damn queen.

“Yucca loves King Lancer, Your Majesty.” Just like how Enkidu loves you. Pero hindi ko na iyon idinugtong at baka ipalapa nya pa ako kay Nergal.

She laughed evilly. “Then that’s a torture for her. A mere Bishop loving her King. Does she really thinks that I won’t do anything? I’m the Queen. And she needs to bow down before me.”

Tumahimik ako. I know that the Queen is mad at ayoko nang makadagdag sa ikagagalit nya. Ang hirap pa naman kapag nagalit ang isang ’to.

I just turned my eyes to the people fighting inside the boxing ring. Bugbog sarado na si Yucca kay Enki. Marami nang mga pasa sa mukha pero hindi pa rin sumusuko. And I think that’s because the Queen didn’t give her any rights to give up.

Mukhang susunod na mako-coma si Yucca, ah.

I sighed and began working with my laptop. I checked the security within the area if there’s any problem. I checked the firewall of the system here. Lahat ng para sa kaligtasan, informations and security ay sa akin sila nakadepende. And I think that’s the reason why they don’t want me on the frontline when doing missions. Kahit ano pang pilit ko at pangba-blackmail ko na ilalabas ko ang mga nudes nila ay wala talaga.

They’re so determined to protect me. Just like my father.

My father who doesn’t know that I’m a part of a Bloody Human Chess Game. He doesn’t know my real identity. Kaya kapag napapahamak ako ay sinisisi nya ang sarili nya. Dahil madami daw syang kaaway sa pagiging business tycoon nya. That’s why he always hired a bodyguard for me.

Bodyguard na mas magaling pa ako. I am more skilled than them.

“My… Look who’s here.” I heard the Queen said kaya napaangat ang tingin ko mula sa laptop.

Standing in front of us is Sieg, one of our pawns. He has a serious expression in his eyes as he looked straight to the Queen.

Anong ginagawa ng isang ’to? Gusto nya bang maagang mamamatay?!

I looked at Nergal the big cat. Nakatingin lang din ang malaking pusa kay Sieg and waiting for an opportunity to make him his dinner.

“Susuko na ako sa mga pulis.” sabi ni Sieg at napasimangot na lang ako.

Sinabi nya na rin ang plano nyang ’to noon when he’s not fully healed yet. The Queen tried to change his mind and said that she should see him once he’s fully healed and tell her his decision. Kaya ngayong magaling na sya ay ito na ang naging desisyon nya.

The Queen sighed. “Alright. Our Rook, your brother, is now dead Sieg. I quite understand why you made that decision.”

“I sent the former Rook my gifts.” Sieg said. Nalito ako doon. Anong gifts?

“Did he get the message behind your gifts, anyway?” the Queen asked. So she knew about the gifts?

“He will. He’s smart. It will take a while but he will get the message.”

Katapangan ang nakikita ko sa mukha ngayon ni Sieg. Parang medyo naiintindihan ko na ang lahat. Sieg sent a gift to the EL Ordre’s former Rook. I don’t know what gifts but it looks like he doesn’t have the permission of the Queen to do so. He just informed her to gave a warning.

At sa palagay ko, may alam na rin ako kung para saan ang iniregalo nya.

“You told them about the Rook?” I sighed. The Queen looked at me and smiled.

“Not directly. He sent him a gift telling him that their Rook is still alive.”

That surprised me! Napatingin ako kay Sieg na determinado ang mukha. He looked like he doesn’t regret what he did! He looked proud instead. At kahit ang Queen ay parang walang pakialam sa ginawa nya.

“But their Rook is dead!” giit ko but the Queen chuckled.

“Oh, Alter… I know.”

“Sa ginawa nyo ay gagawin nila ang lahat para mahanap tayo!” inis kong sabi. Nergal growled at me but the Queen shushed him.

“Chess is not a game of hide and seek, Alter. We must make a sacrifice to win. Every move is important.”

I gritted my teeth. I hate this Queen. I don’t like her. I don’t like how she manipulates the lowers pieces. At isa na ako doon. ’Cause a Queen is higher than the Knight.

Only the King can stop her reign. Only King Lancer can stop her.

Kaya kahit na ayoko rin kay Yucca ay hinahayaan ko syang magpabalik-balik sa loob ng kwarto ng King. She’s a traitor and the reason why the King became like that but she’s also the King’s Bishop. His protector and own servant.

And besides, she loves the King. Kung meron man sa amin ang gustong magising muli ang King ay si Yucca na ang nangunguna doon.

The Queen rules us recklessly. Wala syang pakialam kung may malagas man sa amin. As long as she enjoys the game. As long as she enjoys watching the lower pieces fight for their lives, then all is well for her.

That’s why we gave her a nickname as the Mad Queen. And only the King can stop her madness.

King Lancer is our only hope to win this game.

Chapter 2

Ilang minuto nang nakaalis si Sieg ay hindi pa rin ako nagsasalita. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa ginawa nya. He just defied our Queen! He did something without the Queen’s words or orders!

Kahit ang pagsuko nya sa mga pulis ay sarili nyang desisyon. He doesn’t want to be a part of the game. At mas gugustuhin nya pa ang makulong nang pang habang buhay kaysa sa makipaglaban para sa pansariling kalayaan.

Bumuntong hininga ako. I wish I have the same courage as his. Sana ay magawa ko ring suwayin ang Queen. Sana ay may magawa rin ako para sa sarili ko.

“You’re against of what he did.” the Queen stated. Nababasa nya pa rin ang emosyon ko kahit anong tago ang gawin ko. Kulang na nga lang ay takpan ko ang buong mukha ko pero feeling ko ay mababasa nya pa rin.

Shit lang… Bakit ba kami nagkaroon ng ganitong Queen?

Kinapa ko ang bulsa ko para kunin ang lollipop. Nakaka-stress naman kasi ang katabi ko! Ang sakit sa ulong kausap at parang pati ako ay mababaliw na rin yata.

The Mad Knight… Hindi bagay. The Genius and Pretty Knight, pwede pa.

Pero napasimangot ako nang walang makuhang kahit na anong lollipop sa bulsa ko. I sighed. Lollipop will help me stay sane.

“I am, Your Majesty.” nanlulumong sabi ko at napasandal sa upuan. Still feeling brokenhearted that my precious lollipop is gone. “I heard that the EL Ordre’s Rooks were brothers. I’m sure that the former one will do everything out of love for his younger brother.”

“Love… The beginning of an end and the end of the beginning. Always complicates things.”

I scratched the back of my ear. The Queen is being poetic again. Kaya talagang nasasabihan baliw. Ang hirap tantyahin ng iniisip nya.

“The EL Ordre will surely make their move soon, Your Majesty.” I said trying to bring back the topic to the original one. Ang dami kasing naiisip na topic ng reynang ’to.

“My, of course. They know now the truth, Alter. They scattered someone else’s ashes on the sea.”

Tumahimik na lang ako. It can’t be help. Alam na ng EL Ordre ang totoo. Sooner and later, gagawa na sila ng hakbang para makuha ang Rook nila sa amin.

I hope that King Lancer wakes up before that happens.

“Do you think their King will show himself?” the Queen asked. I can see that she’s really interested with the EL Ordre’s King.

I shook my head. “I am not sure about that, Your Majesty. Until now, I still don’t know who are the rest of their members and their positions.”

“Because they’re concealing which piece they are kahit sa mga ka-myembro nila, am I right?” I nodded. Nakita ko ang pag irap ng Queen. “Their King is stupid. If I were him, I will tell the whole world that I am their King. Ako ang dapat nilang sundin. They have to bow down before me.”

Napakamot ulit ako sa likod ng tenga ko. That’s what she did before. The Queen revealed who she was the very first day when this game started. Kaya alam nya na lahat kami ay mas mababa ang position kaysa sa kanya. And she used her power to rule over us.

But I don’t think that the EL Ordre’s King is stupid. I actually admired how he didn’t tell anyone who he is. Sa palagay ko ay strategy nya iyon para ang lahat ng mga myembro nila ay protektahan ang isa’t isa. They didn’t know who their King is and it could be anyone. Kaya nahihirapan din akong makakuha ng information tungkol sa kanila.

I love their teamwork. Dito sa Red Faction, kapag mababa ang position mo, hindi sila manghihinayang sa buhay mo.

And somehow, I feel lucky that I am the Knight. But not lucky enough to be included in this motherfucking game.

“Get ready, Alter. The real game is about to begin.” the Queen said and I saw her evil smile. She’s really enjoying this game. Sya lang yata ang natutuwa pa sa larong ito.

Siguro, ako ang traydor. Dahil hinihiling ko na sana ay hindi kami manalo. I am scared what she might do if we will win this game.

Kung may paraan lang sana na matalo kami nang hindi namamatay…

I need a lollipop.

“I know you don’t like me as your Queen, Alter.” sabi nya kaya mabili akong napalingon sa kanya. Unconsciously, napatingin ako kay Nergal na mukhang handa na akong lapain anumang oras.

I really need a lollipop!

“But you have no choice, Alter.” sabi ng Queen pero nanatili ang tingin ko kay Nergal. “You’re just a Knight.”

Saka lang ako tumingin sa kanya. “Alam ko.” she smirked but I looked at her, determination is in my eyes. “I’m just a Knight but you can’t kill me. I’m important in this group. Maybe as important as the Queen, don’t you think?”

The Queen gave a witchy laugh. Nakita kong napatigil si Yucca sa pakikipaglaban at napatingin sa direksyon namin. Hindi nya nakita ang suntok na pinakawalan ni Enki at tinamaan sya sa sikmura. She staggered but before she could regain herself, Enki gave her another kick in the gut. Nakita ko ang lumabas na dugo sa bibig ni Yucca.

“Focus, Yucca!” Enki shouted at her.

The Queen stopped laughing. Nergal rubbed his head on the Queen’s hand. Gusto nitong ipagpatuloy ng amo ang paghaplos kanina na natigil dahil sa pagtawang ginawa.

“Do you hate them, Alter?” she asked.

“Them?”

She nodded and pointed at the tinted glass above. “Them. The gamemasters.”

Napatingin ako sa itinuturo nya. Above us is a tinted glass panels. It was a window of a restricted room. Kahit sino sa amin ay wala pang nakakapasok. And the Queen thinks that the gamemasters are there, watching us from above like their little chess pieces.

“Do you hate them?” ulit na tanong sa akin ng Queen.

I stared at the glass panel. “I do, Your Majesty.”

I hate the gamemasters. Kung hindi dahil sa kanila ay walang ganitong laro. Maayos ang buhay ko. May normal na trabaho at hindi nakikipagpatayan para mabuhay. I wouldn’t feel the thrill of being in the front line on a mission and kill the enemies. Hindi mararamdaman iyon ng normal na tao.

“As long as you hate them, then we’re allies, Alter. And someday, I will kill them all.”

Mabilis akong napatingin sa Queen. She’s glaring at the tinted glass panels like she can see the people inside. She raised her hand and showed them her middle finger.

Gaano man kabaliw ang Queen, mukhang hindi nya rin gusto ang mapasali sa larong ito. Treating us like a puppets and fight with one another while they’re sitting on a comfortable chair sipping a coffee while watching us.

The practice match ended and I was right. Enkidu won. Lupaypay si Yucca na nakahiga sa sahig ng boxing ring. Bugbog sarado at puno ng pasa ang mga katawan.

“Good work, Enkidu.” The Queen greeted him nang makalapit sya sa amin. “You never fail to exceed my expectations.”

Paano, inlove sayo kaya nagpapasikat.

Nauna silang umalis sa training ground at nagpapasalamat ako na isinama nila si Nergal. Katulad ng amo nya ay nakakatakot din ang isang ’yon! Parang laging gutom at mananakmal kung makatingin!

I got up on the chair and walked where Yucca is. Nakahiga pa rin sya at hindi gumagalaw. Ang akala ko nga ay patay na kung hindi ko lang nakita ang pagtaas baba ng dibdib nya. Tanda na humihinga pa sya.

Ang sabi nga nila, matagal mamatay ang masamang damo.

I stayed outside the boxing ring. I knew that Yucca felt my presence but she stayed unmoving.

“Buti buhay ka pa?” I scoffed. “Kulang pa nga ’yan kaya wala kang karapatang mamatay.”

She laughed pero napatigil din dahil mukha syang nasakatan. I bet that she have a millions of broken ribs.

“I heard that the EL Ordre’s already know that their Rook isn’t dead.”

I gave her a sarcastic smile. “Tsimosa ka pala?”

She laughed again. “Sabi mo, eh.”

Umirap ako. Imposibleng narinig nya ang sinabi sa amin ni Sieg kanina. With that distance, walang matinong tao ang makakarinig noon. Maybe Sieg told her everything before us.

Iniwan ko na si Yucca sa ganoong position. She doesn’t need my help. Kahit saan ay mabubuhay ang isang ’to.

I walked towards the exit. I made a final glance at the glass panel before I went out of the training room.

I badly need a lollipop.

Chapter 3

Mainit ang ulo ko. I tried to clean the records of our fallen members profiles so that the enemies won’t use it against us. But as I was cleaning their files, nagparamdam na naman sa akin ang tracker ng EL Ordre.

Sinubukan nyang kunin ang information mula sa system namin. Nakapasok sya pansamantala at nahirapan talaga akong paalisin sya. At hindi lang ’yon, nakuha nya pa ang information ng isang Rook and wiped it out in the system! Good thing ay limitado lang ang pwede nyang makuha at napaalis ko kaagad!

Just like what they did to our fallen Knight. Hanggang ngayon ay palaisipan pa rin sa amin kung paano sya namatay. Nabura ang record nya sa system namin. Means that he’s already dead. But I can’t find anything about how he died.

At tama ako. Mukhang ang tracker nga ang magiging katapat ko. Kaya nyang pantayan ang hacking skills ko na wala pang ibang nakagagawa.

I let out a frustrated sigh. Mainit talaga ang ulo ko kanina pa. Hindi ko na kasi talaga kayang pagtyagaan ang lollipop na binili ko. Sinubukan kong bumili sa grocery store na malapit sa amin pero wala pa rin sila nung brand na gusto ko!

My lollipop! I can’t work without it! Kahit isa lang sana. Ilang linggo ko nang hindi natitikman ang favorite lollipop brand ko!

I can’t take it anymore. Lumabas ako ng workroom ko dito sa hideout at naisipang lumabas na para bumili ng lollipop. I’m craving for it at hindi talaga ako matatahimik kapag hindi ko natikman ang favorite sweets ko!

I hate food cravings. Ang hirap kasing iwasan. ’Yun bang nakakain naman ako at nabusog pero feeling ko ay hindi satisfied ang tyan ko sa ginawa kong pagkain. So I have no choice but to buy the food para makatulog ako ng mahimbing sa gabi.

I am willing to search all the convenience stores or grocery stores just to buy my lollipop. Kahit isa lang. Pampatanggal man lang sa init ng ulo ko at ng cravings ko.

I rode my car at ang una kong pinuntahan ay ang malapit na convenience store. And it must be my lucky day dahil agad akong nakakita sa display racks nila ng lollipop ko pero isa lang! My favorite brand and favorite flavor! Kinuha ko iyon at ipinakita sa cashier.

“Hi! May iba pa kayong stocks nito?” I asked while smiling. I can’t wait to taste it!

“Ay, wala na po, Ma’am. Nag iisa na lang po, yan.” the cashier answered but I remained my smile on my lips.

“Ayos lang. Sige, babayaran ko na.” Kaysa naman wala.

She punched the item and I paid for it. Ngiting-ngiti akong lumabas ng convenience store na iyon at binubuksan ang wrapper ng lollipop habang papunta sa kotse ko.

It took forever before I finally removed the wrapper. I smiled and was about to put it inside my mouth when a man bumped into me.

Nabigla ako. Hindi ko man lang naramdaman ang presensya nya. Hindi ko rin narinig ang mga paghakbang nya kaya hindi ko nagawang umiwas sa kanya.

Pero hindi iyon ang ikinagulat ko. Kundi ang nabitawan kong lollipop! I watched as it falls on the ground. Tumalbog pa ng ilang beses bago tuluyang huminto doon sa parteng mabuhangin pa talaga.

Hindi ako makasigaw. Nakatitig lang ako sa lollipop ko na punong puno na ng lupa. Wala nang pag asang masagip pa!

Ang lollipop ko! Nag iisa na nga lang pero ganito pa ang nangyari!

“I’m sorry.” I heard a baritone voice said. It must be from the man who bumped into me.

I glared at him pero napahinto nang makita ko ang itsura nya. Napalunok pa ako at feeling ko ay tumigil ang mga nasa paligid.

The man has a deep black hair that was brushed upwards. May makakapal na kilay at matangos at perpektong ilong. Manipis ang mamula-mulang mga labi nya na parang hindi alam kung paano ngumiti. And his jaw was very define.

He’s wearing a maroon polo shirt na hapit sa katawan nya. He has a ripped body. Bumabakat sa damit nya ang mga muscles nya sa katawan. And his chiseled chest, shit lang. Parang ang sarap yatang humilig doon? Tapos yung mga muscles nya sa braso, feeling ko ay kayang kaya nya akong buhatin nang hindi man lang nahihirapan.

But what caught me the most is his jet black eyes. Itim na itim ang mga iyon at namumungay pa. Binagayan ng mahahaba nyang pilik mata na parang sa isang manika. Pero ang mukha nya ay mukhang malupit na parang walang naitatagong kabaitan sa katawan.

Tumikhim ang lalaki at doon lang ako natauhan. Nagtaka pa ako kung anong nangyari kanina.

Okay? Anong nangyari?

“What…” then I saw a lollipop on the ground. Napasinghap ako. “Ang lollipop ko!”

The man frowned at may reaction. He looked at me like he was disgusted by my entire existence. Pero masyado na talagang mainit ang ulo ko. Kaninang kanina pa.

“Tignan mo ang ginawa mo sa lollipop ko!” naiinis kong sabi sa kanya at itinuro pa ang lollipop na nasa daan at punong puno ng lupa.

He glanced at it and looked at me lazily. “And?”

“Anong ‘and’?! Alam mo ba kung paano ako naghirap para maghanap nyan?! Tapos binunggo mo ako kaya nalaglag!”

“Hold it right there, young miss.” he said. Mababa ang boses nya at lalaking lalaki pakinggan pero parang tamad na tamad sya sa pagsasalita. “You were the one who bumped into me. Iniwasan kita but you didn’t see me as you were staring at your lollipop.”

“At kasalanan ko pa? Nakita mo na pala ako, eh. Edi sana umiwas ka!”

He sighed. “Hindi mo ba marinig? Sinabi kong umiwas ako.”

“Eh, bakit binangga mo pa rin ako?!”

The man let out a frustrated groan and he brushed his hair using his fingers. Kumawala ang iilang hibla sa pagka-brush up style ng buhok nya kaya bumagsak iyon sa noo nya. I held my breath. The way his hair strands fell is so beautiful!

“Papalitan ko na lang ang lollipop mo.” he said at nagpapadyak na ako sa inis.

“You know, I wouldn’t be like this if there’s a thousand of it inside the store! Pero nag iisa na lang yan! Ayoko ng ibang brand!”

He looked at me lazily. “What are you? A kid? You are wasting my time.” tamad nyang sabi.

Sa inis ko ay umigkas ang kamay ko at binigyan sya ng isang suntok. But the man was quick. Nailagan nya ang suntok ko. I tried to gave him an upper cut using my other hand but he dodge it again.

My insticts as a Red Faction’s Knight are kicking in. Sinubukan kong hulihin ang kamay nya, planning to twist it but he slapped my hand away. I kicked but he blocked my attack using only one hand. Panay ang atake ko at sya naman ay panay ang depensa.

He was guarded. Hindi ako makakita ng opening so I keep on attacking him. Sooner or later ay makakakita din ako ng butas sa depensa nya. I gave him a side kick. Pinuntirya ko ang bewang nya but he used his elbow as a shield.

And finally, I saw an opening. Sinamantala ko iyon at buong lakas na inatake sya. He smirked when he received my attack which caught me off-guard. I’m sure na masakit iyon pero nagawa nya pang ngumisi!

Ang sandaling pagkakatigil ko ay ginamit nya para mapatumba ako. Namalayan ko na lang na ang dalawang kamay ko ay nasa likod ko na. He was on my back at iniipit nya ako sa pagitan ng kotse ko at ng katawan nya. I could feel the heat of his body against my back. Sobrang lapit nya sa akin at kumikiliti na ang hininga nya sa tenga ko.

Shit lang! I tried to wriggle free but his grip on me was so firm. Imposibleng makawala pa ako sa pagkakakapit nya!

“I’ll let you go if you promise that you will not bother me about your lollipop.”

“What?!” hinigpitan nya ang hawak sa pulsuhan ko kaya napangiwi ako sa sakit. “Okay, okay! Pakawalan mo na ako!”

And he did. Umatras sya ng ilang hakbang sa akin. Mukha syang tamad na tamad habang nakatingin sa akin.

“You wasted my time and energy. I think we should call it quits.”

Tinignan ko ang lollipop na nasa daan bago ko tinignan ang lalaki. He’s no ordinary man. At kapag naulit ang nangyari kanina, feeling ko ay matatalo lang din ulit ako.

That’s why I wanted to be on the frontline during Red Faction’s missions. Baka kasi kinakalawang na ang fighting skills ko.

Bumuntong hininga ako at dahan-dahang tumango. The man stared at me for about a minute before he turned his back at me.

“Bye, lollipop girl.” he said and walked away.

Shit lang. Mali ako, ah? This ain’t my lucky day. Kailangan ko pa ulit maghanap ng convenience store para sa favorite sweets ko.

Tinitigan ko ang lollipop at napailing bago dinampot iyon at itinapon sa basurahan.

Goodbye, lollipop. May you rest in peace.

Chapter 4

Nakapangalumbaba ako habang nakatingin sa mga screen ng mga computer ko at pinapanood ang bawat galaw nina Enki at Yucca. Yucca’s bruises aren’t healed yet but the Queen wanted her in the mission. Talagang gusto nyang pahirapan ang traitor dahil sa nangyari sa aming King.

She looked like she’s in pain whenever she’s taking a step. I’m worried that this mission will fail dahil sa iniinda nyang sakit. Pero walang awa talaga ang aming Queen.

She’s no doubt a wicked queen.

“Alter, tell me some good news.” I heard Enki’s voice from my headset. I sighed and looked at the monitor on my left.

“No good news.”

“You sounded off.” Enki said and I’m sure that he’s frowning right now. Hindi ko masyadong maaninag ang mga mukha nila sa CCTV na ni-hack ko. They’re also wearing a black mask that covers their nose and mouth.

Bumuntong hininga ulit ako. “Wala ako sa mood. Tinatamad ako.”

“She hasn’t eaten her favorite lollipop yet, for sure.” Yucca said and I can hear the smile in her voice.

“Oh, shut up.” I said and worked with my computer. Mas lalo akong nainis nang makita na hindi pa rin umaalis ang dalawang asungot na nasa entrance ng hideout ng target naming drug lord ngayon. “Enki, may dalawang daga na nakabantay sa pinto. Kaya nyo na ’yan.”

“Is there no other entrance?” Yucca asked at narinig ko sa boses nya ang pagrereklamo.

“Wala na.” I said. I know na iniiwasan nya ang hand to hand combat ngayong may iniinda sya pero wala na naman talagang ibang entrance. Hindi naman ako kasing sama nya na pahihirapan ang kapwa member at ilalagay sa panganib.

She groaned before they moved. Maingat ang mga hakbang nila na huwag mapansin ng mga bantay sa pinto. It’s too early for the commotion.

We infiltrated the drug lord’s hideout. The Queen wants to offer a deal with the drug lord. We heard that he has a rare drug at nagkainteres doon ang Queen. It’s a very dangerous drug. At kinakabahan ako sa kung saan gagamitin ng Queen iyon.

I guided Yucca and Enki throughout the vicinity. It’s a good thing that the place has a CCTV. Maybe the drug lord installed it for their security. Hindi nila alam na iyon pa ang makakasama sa kanila.

“Their office is at the basement. Wala nang CCTV doon. Diskarte nyo na ’yan.” I said and leaned my back on my work chair. Matalino din pala ang drug para hindi lagyan ng CCTV ang office nila. The conversation inside will remain a secret

Nawala na sa paningin ko sina Enki at Yucca. Then I heard gunshots through my headset. I yawned and glanced at my phone.

Sa sobrang desperada ko nang matikman ulit ang favorite lollipop ko, I gave my number to one of the workers on the grocery store where I usually buy my lollipop. I told him to send me a text if ever that they’ll have a new stock of it. Pero ang pinagbigyan ko ng number ko ay may iba pa yatang gustong mangyari.

Grocery Boy:

Good Afternoon. Lunch na. Kumain ka na ba?

Nabwisit ako! Mga ganitong texts kasi ang mga pinapadala nya! I don’t care if it’s lunchtime or dinnertime or the end-of-the-world time! I just want my lollipop!

Muling lumitaw sa screen sina Yucca at Enki but this time, kasama na nila ang drug lord. Enki seized him on his arms while Yucca was pointing a gun on his head. Walang nagawa ang drug lord kundi ang sumama sa kanila.

I deleted all the CCTV footage from the moment that Enki and Yucca were seen hanggang sa makalabas sila sa lugar na iyon.

I yawned again and thought about this mission. The Queen just gave us this assignment without telling us the real reason why she wanted to talk with the drug lord. Hindi nya rin sinabi kung saan nya gagamitin ang drug na iyon.

Is it for Yucca?

Kaya ayokong gagalitin ang Queen. Iba nga kasi syang mag isip. Parang baliw. Feeling ko ay mas delikado pa kami sa kanya kaysa sa mga taga EL Ordre.

The Queen works like this. Kami ang mga galamay nya. She never included herself in our mission. Not even once. Nakaupo lang sya doon sa grand chair nyang may mga diamonds, petting her tiger pet while watching us.

She’s trying to manipulate the game.

Just like now. It feels like she’s planning something. At naiinis ako na isinisikreto nya sa amin iyon.

We should be a team. We should help each other to win this game together. But I can’t defy the Queen. Wala akong lakas ng loob.

I received another text message again from the grocery boy. Rumolyo ang mga mata ko paitaas. Ano na naman bang ka-jejehan ang sasabihin nya?

Grocery boy:

Hi, Ma’am! May new stocks na po yung lollipop sa brand na gusto nyo.

Lumundag yata yung puso ko palabas sa dibdib ko nang mabasa ko ang text message na iyon. Finally! My lollipop! Ang lollipop ko! Matitikman na rin ulit kita sa wakas!

Hindi na ako nag aksaya pa ng oras. This is a matter of life and death! Kapag naubusan pa ako ng lollipop ngayon, feeling ko ay mamamatay na talaga ako!

I didn’t get to say goodbye to Enki and Yucca. Baka magtaka sila na wala nang sumasagot sa linya ko. Bahala na sila. Kaya na nila ’yun. Malalaki na sila. And besides, papunta na rin naman sila ngayon sa kung nasaan ang Queen para doon dalhin ang drug lord.

Basta. I need to get my lollipop!

When I get to the store, halos banggain ko na ang lahat ng mga makakasalubong ko. I get all the stocks of the lollipop that were displayed on the racks. It was my favorite brand! Hindi na ako magtitiis sa pagtikim ng mga nagfe-feeling lollipop lang naman!

I paid for it and got out of the store. Nang makarating ako sa kotse ko ay agad akong kumuha ng isa at inilagay agad sa loob ng bibig ko. I smiled when I tasted heaven.

Now this is love…

Bumalik ang pagiging good mood ko. Shit lang kasi natikman ko ulit ang favorite sweets ko! It warmed my heart that I almost cried!

I finally get my cravings satisfied!

I decided to went home that day. Alam kong magtataka si Papa kung bakit maaga ang uwi ko but I wanted to celebrate this day with him. My father thought that I’m working at some company, the Queen’s company. Kaya hindi sya naghihinala sa kung anong trabaho dahil ang Queen na mismo ang kumausap kay Papa.

I actually hate that I’m lying to my father. He’s the one who raised me at sobrang laki ng utang na loob ko sa kanya. But I don’t want him to get involve to something dangerous. Madalas na ngang mapagbantaan ang buhay nya dahil isa syang business tycoon na maraming kaaway. I’m protecting him behind his back kaya ayoko nang dumagdag pa sa problema nya

He’s hiring bodyguards to protect me pero hindi nya alam na ako itong nagpoprotekta sa kanya. Nakakatawa pala ang sitwasyon namin.

I was driving on my way home when my phone rang. It was my father who’s calling me which puts a frown on my face. He knew that I’m working by this hour so it’s unsual for him to call me this time.

Kinabahan ako. Hindi kaya may nangyari nang masama sa kanya?

“Papa?” I said when I answered the phone. Grabe yung bilis ng tibok ng puso ko sa sobrang kaba!

“Codee, hija. Are you busy? Am I interrupting you on your work?”

Tinantya ko ang boses nya. He sounded calm naman. He’s using the usual tone when he’s talking to me. Wala naman yatang problema? But why is he calling me?

“No. Uhm, actually pauwi na ako, Papa. I already finished my work and my boss allowed me to go home early.”

“Really? That’s great to hear!” I heard the delight in his voice. Napangiti na lang ako.

Seems like everything is fine.

“Great timing, Codee. There’s someone I want you to meet.” he said which made me frown again.

“Who?”

“You’ll meet him pagkarating mo dito sa bahay. Take care, okay?”

He ended the call but I still keep on wondering  kung sino ang ipakikilala nya sa akin. It sounds like that someone is an important person. Tinawagan pa talaga ako ni Papa eh ang alam nya ay nasa trabaho ko.

I just shrugged my shoulders. Well, at least now, I have my lollipop with me. Makakayanan ko kahit sino pa ang iharap sa akin!

I saw that there’s a car parked outside our house and I gasped when I recognized what car it is! It’s a gray Lamborghini Veneno which costs almost five million dollars! Who owned this expensive shit? Bakit hindi ko alam na may nagmamay ari ng ganitong kotse sa Pilipinas?!

At bakit naka-park lang ang kotse dito sa labas?! It should be park inside the garage! Kung sino man ang may ari ng kotse na ’to, then he must be so damn rich dahil mukhang wala syang pakialam kung magasgasan ang kotse nya!

Is the owner the one my father referring to that he wanted me to meet?

Now this is making my blood boil in excitement!

Hindi ko na maayos na nai-park ang kotse ko sa garage sa sobrang pagka-excite. Pero hindi ko pa rin nakalimutan ang paper bag na punong puno ng lollipop na dalhin din sa loob ng bahay. I was wearing my smile even if there’s still a lollipop inside my mouth. Nakalabas ang stick sa bibig ko. I entered the house and saw my father sitting on the head sofa. Nakaupo naman ang isang lalaki sa mahabang sofa na kausap si Papa kaya nakatalikod sya sa direksyon ko. It was my father who saw me first.

“Finally! My daughter is here!” he announced at saka lang lumingon ang lalaki sa akin.

My jaw literally drop together with my lollipop when I recognized the man! The brush up hairstyle, some hair strands were loose at tumatama sa noo nya. Those thick brows, perfect nose, reddish lips and jet black eyes. And his ripped body…

Good Lord. This man is so perfect! Ngayon ko lang sya natitigan nang husto!

But then again, balewala iyon ngayong nahulog na naman yung lollipop ko sa sahig dahil sa kanya!

“Codee, I want you to meet L. He’s going to be your bodyguard from today onwards.”

I looked at my father, horrified. What did he say? This man is going to be my bodyguard?!

Napatingin ako sa lalaki and found him staring at me. I almost cower in fear when I met his jet black eyes. Feeling ko ay nakatitig ako sa isang madilim na madilim na kweba at walang hangganan ang dulo!

He sighed and blinked lazily. Mabagal ang pagkurap nya na para talagang tinatamad. But why does it looks sensual to me?

“We meet again, lollipop girl.” he lazily said.

Oh, shit. I must be dreaming! This can’t be happening!

Ayokong makasama ang taong dalawang beses nang nag-murder sa lollipop ko!

Chapter 5

The man stood up so I noticed how tall he is. Matangkad sya! Hanggang balikat nya lang yata ako at kailangan ko pa talagang tumingala kapag tumitingin ako sa kanya. I am not tall nor short. Sakto lang ang height ko pero kung itatabi ako sa kanya ay magmumukha talaga akong maliit.

He glanced at the lollipop on the ground and looked at me before he sighed. Nainis ako sa naging reaksyon nya! He looked like he’s disappointed in me for whatever reason!

I looked at my father.

“Bodyguard? Pa, naman! I already told you that I don’t need a bodyguard!”

“You need it, Codee! My enemies will use you against me.”

Idinipa ko ang mga kamay ko to prove a point. “See? I’m okay, Pa. Wala pang masamang nangyari sa akin!”

“At hindi ko na hihintayin na may mangyari pang masama sayo! We don’t know what will happen in the future.”

I groaned and stomped my feet on the ground. “Pa! I don’t need a bodyguard! Hindi ngayon, hindi bukas at hindi magpakailanman!”

But my father didn’t pay any attention to me. He looked apologetically at the man instead. Parang humihingi sya ng tawad dahil sa inaasta ko ngayon.

“I’m sorry about my daughter. She’s stubborn pero mabait naman ’yan kaya sana ay habaan mo ang pasensya mo.”

“I don’t really mind, Mr. Vasco.” the man said. saglit syang sumulyap sa akin bago ulit tumingin kay Papa. “I’ve seen worse.”

I gasped. “Aba’t—” but before I could think of a rebuke. My father stopped me.

“Codee Altera Vasco, enough.” my father said firmly.

I grimaced when I heard my full name. I had no choice but to shut up and just glared at the man who looked so uninterested with what’s happening around him.

“Be good to him, Codee. He was recommended by a friend and Mr. L, here, is kind enough to accept my request to be your bodyguard.”

Napasimangot ako. So dapat pa pala akong magpasalamat sa kanya. Is that it?

I stared at the man. He’s so damn good-looking! Ngayon lang ako nakakita ng ganitong kagwapong lalaki! Usually, my lollipop is the only one who can catch my attention but this man is an exception!

Nevertheless, he was still the reason kung bakit nasayang ang dalawang lollipop sa buhay ko at nahulog sa lupa. Ayoko sa kanya.

“And he will stay here from now on.”

Mabilis akong napatingin kay Papa. “I’m sorry? I think I heard you wrong.” may narinig kasi akong sinabi nya na sobrang Imposibleng mangyari. Kailangan ko na yatang ipa-check up ang tenga ko. Kung ano-ano kasi ang naririnig ko.

“Mr. L will stay here with us, Codee. Para mas maprotektahan ka nya.” my father explained to me.

I think that there will be no more shocking revelation that I will hear today other than this. Ito na ang higit na nakakawindang na balitang narinig ko sa araw na ’to!

“But why?! You’ve never done this with my past bodyguards before! Hindi mo sila pinag-stay dito sa bahay!”

“Mr. L is different, Codee. He’s a professional.”

“You mean hindi mga professionals ang nakuha mo dati?”

“I think so. Kaya mo nga sila natatakasan.”

I groaned. No, Pa. Kaya ko sila natakasan ay dahil mas magaling ako sa kanila! I’m a member of a secret organization and I was trained at least on how to save myself and some martial arts!

“Mr. L.” my father called him. “Huwag kang mahihiyang magsabi kung may gusto ka. Just ask the maids and make yourself feel at home.”

Shit lang! Hindi ko na talaga nagugustuhan ang mga nangyayari. I thought that this will be a good day that I can celebrate with my father! Nakabili na ulit kasi ako ng lollipop na favorite ko matapos ang ilang linggong pagdurusa ko sa paghahanap!

But then, this man came! And he ruined everything!

I sighed. Mukhang desidido na si Papa at hindi ko na talaga mababago ang isip nya. It’s okay though. Madali ko lang din namang matatakasan ang isang ’to. He’s no different with the others.

At kapag natakasan ko sya, then my father will be dissapointed in him and he’ll fire him immediately.

So for now, magtitiis na lang muna ako.

“Fine.” I said. “I’ll go now, Pa.”

My father frowned. “What? You just got home. Saan ka na naman pupunta?”

“I remember that I still have some work that I needed to finish.” and that’s a lie. I just don’t want to stay here. Gusto kong makasama ang mga computers ko at sigurado akong mas mag eenjoy pa ako doon now that I have my lollipop with me.

“Alright. L will come with you.”

Magrereklamo na sana ako but I remembered my plan. Ngayon lang. Magtitiis na muna ako ngayon ’cause on the next few days, mawawala na rin naman sya.

I gave L my car keys at nauna nang lumabas ng bahay. Sumunod sya sa akin but I can’t hear his footsteps. Kaya hindi ko talaga sya napansin noong una kaming nagkita.

I stopped when we’re at the garage. My father is inside the house. Kampante sya na iniwan ako, na pinakamamahal nyang anak, sa stranger na ’to.

Humarap ako sa kanya but it was a bad move dahil sobrang lapit nya sa akin! I gasped and took a step away pero mukhang ako lang ang naapektuhan dahil tamad syang nakatingin sa akin. His hands were inside the side pockets of his pants. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

Nasaan na ba ang mga lollipop ko? Mukhang kailangan ko na naman!

“We both know that I can protect myself so I don’t need your protection.” I said. Nakatingala talaga ako habang nakatingin sa kanya.

Ang tangkad talaga nya! Gusto ko na tuloy uminom ng Cherifer. Saglit lang pero nangangalay na ang batok ko sa kakatingala sa kanya!

He didn’t say anything and just keep at staring at me. I started to feel uncomfortable under his stare.

Shit lang! Sa mga kalaban ay hindi ako natatakot pero bakit ganito yung epekto ng lalaking ito sa akin!

“I don’t like you.” I said. Hindi ko din nagugustuhan ang reaction ng katawan ko simula pa kanina.

I was expecting that he will remain silent dahil mukhang tamad na tamad talaga syang magsalita pero nagulat ako nang magsalita sya.

“Bakit? Gusto ba kita?”

My nose flared and my face heated. Mabilis akong tumalikod sa kanya para itago ang pagkapahiya ko. Nabara ako doon, ah?!

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita at pumasok na sa loob ng kotse. I went inside the backseat and waited for L pero nagulat ako nang buksan nya ang pinto ng kotseng kasasara ko pa lang.

“Get out.” he said. My jaw almost dropped again on the floor.

“What?”

“Get out.” ulit nya na mukhang naiinis na.

“Bakit?”

“I am not your driver. Sa passenger’s seat ka umupo.”

And that surprised me again pero slight na lang. Mas nakakagulat pa rin na malaman na titira na rin sya sa bahay from now on.

“What? What’s your problem with me sitting here? You’re my bodyguard and this is my car!”

“Hindi ka talaga lilipat?” he asked impatiently. The nerve of this man! Nabubwisit na ako sa kanya, ah!

“Hell, no!” I said. Humalukipkip pa ako at sumandal sa backrest ng upuan.

My father said na habaan nya dapat ang pasenya nya sa akin pero mukhang mabilis uminit ng ulo ng lalaking ’to. He looked like he doesn’t want to do anything! Parang ayaw na ayaw nya pa ngang gumalaw pero tinanggap nya na maging bodyguard ko kaya mas lalo ko pa syang iinisin!

I screamed when he suddenly carried me like a sack of rice! My tummy is on his broad shoulders at hawak nya ako sa likod ng mga hita ko. My face was upside down at mula sa likod ay naamoy ko ang pabango nya!

Shit lang talaga! He even smelled so good! He smelled of fresh air mixed of manly scent! Basta! Parang gusto ko na lang ubusin ang amoy nya!

“Ouch!” I cried when the back of my head slammed on the roof of the car as he put me down on the passenger’s seat. Sisinghalan ko na sana sya nang pabagsak nyang isinara ang pinto.

Fuck it! Sirang sira na talaga ang mood ko! There’s no gentleness in him!

“Damn you! Hindi mo ako kailangang saktan!” sigaw ko sa kanya nang makasakay sya sa driver’s seat. I caressed the part na nauntog sa bubong ng kotse kanina. Hindi naman malakas but still, he could’ve avoided it!

He didn’t say anything and started the car. Tumahimik na lang ako kahit na nagpupuyos ang dibdib ko sa galit. He didn’t even bother saying sorry! How arrogant!

It’s okay. I’ll make sure na tanggal na sya sa trabaho bukas!

“Where are you working?” he asked while we’re on the way.

That stopped my thoughts. Shit lang… Imbento nga lang pala yung trabaho ko! I am working as Red Faction’s tracker but of course, hindi ko pwedeng sabihin kung nasaan ang hideout namin!

I contacted Yucca and good thing, she’s at the Queen’s company kaya doon ako nagpahatid. I sighed.

Pinapahirapan talaga ng Queen si Yucca. Kahit hindi na related sa mission namin ay pinapagawa nya pa rin ang ibang bagay kay Yucca. Just like today. Mukhang inutusan na naman sya ng Queen na tapusin ang trabaho nya dapat sa sarili nyang company.

The Queen didn’t even hide her real identity to us. She said that she has nothing to lose anyway.

Naiwan sa parking lot si L. He gave me his calling card so I could just call him if I’m done with my work. Dala ko sa loob ng building ang isang balot ng lollipop ko. I think that one lollipop isn’t enough for this day. Sobra akong na-stress ngayon dahil sa bodyguard ko!

“What’s with the face?” Yucca greeted me when I entered the CEO’s office. I saw those mountains of papers and I just sighed. Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na makaramdam ng awa para sa kanya.

She deserves it. She’s doing it without any complain because she knew that she deserves it.

Pasalampak akong umupo sa mahabang sofa. “My father hired a bodyguard for me.”

“Again?” she asked. Nagbukas ako ng isang lollipop at ipinasok sa bibig ko. “What’s wrong? You can make your father fire him immediately, right?”

Tumango ako habang sinisipsip ang lollipop sa bibig ko. “Yes. But he’s so damn annoying.”

“Well, that’s new.”

New talaga! Usually ang mga hina-hire na bodyguards ni Papa ay mga tahimik at nakasunod sa lahat ng utos ko! Pero si L ay iba!

And he can match my fighting skills. Natalo pa nga ako.

“He’s different, Yucca. He beat me in hand to hand combat.”

Yucca stopped scanning the papers and looked at me. Even though that I’m not in the frontline and I seldom join a practice match, she knew that I’m still competent.

“That’s really new. Who is he?”

“L.” I said.

She frowned. “L what?”

Napadiretso ako ng upo sa tanong nyang iyon. Shit lang! Sa sobrang inis ko ay nakalimutan ko na ang mag-background check tungkol sa kanya!

I always do a background check on my bodyguards. Who knows that they might be a spy meant to sabotage my father. Or me… Pero so far, matitino pa naman ang nakukuha ni Papa na bodyguard para sa akin.

Now, I have to do a background check on L. But I don’t know his real name.

Is his name really L? Parang kahit ang mga magulang nya ay tinamad sa pagbibigay ng pangalan sa kanya kaya naging isang letter na lang.

I took out his calling card and dialed his number. I want to do a background check on him now that he’s not around me. Baka mahuli pa nya ako at sabihin na ini-stalk ko sya.

It took several rings before he finally answered. I sighed when he didn’t greet me when he answered the phone.

“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked straightforwardly. Baka babaan pa ako kapag ang dami ko pang sinabi. Mukhang ayaw nya pa naman sa maingay at madaldal.

“L.”

I rolled my eyes. Ang haba ng sagot ah? Tamad na tamad pa. “I meant your full name.”

“Why?”

“You’re my bodyguard!”

“I don’t get the logic.”

Napatayo na ako sa sobrang frustration. He sounded so lazy while talking to me pero hindi nya naman sinasagot ng maayos ang tanong ko!

“You are my bodyguard so I should at least know the real name of the person who’s protecting me.”

“Just a simple thanks will do.”

I groaned frustratedly. Gusto ko nang mapatili sa sobrang inis! Si Yucca ay tumigil na sa pagtatrabaho para panoorin ako kung paano mainis sa kausap ko.

Does L thinks that I wanted to know his real name so I could thank him properly? Wala pa nga syang ginagawa para sa akin tapos magpapasalamat agad ako sa kanya? Anong gusto nya? Magpasalamat ako dahil iniinis nya ako?!

“Just tell me your damn name! Amo mo ako kaya sundin mo ako!” I don’t do power tripping but this man is making me do it!

“Your father is my employer and not you.”

Shit lang! Ayoko na! Suko na ako sa taong ’to!

“You are so frustrating!”

“And you’re so noisy.”

“Damn it! Sayo na ’yang pangalan mo! I have many ways to know your full name anyway!”

I ended the call feeling so mad, angry, annoyed, irritated… Lahat na! Inis na inis ako! Sa sobrang inis ko ay hindi ko na namalayan na nakagat ko pala ang lollipop sa bibig ko!

Ang lollipop ko! I’m sorry! Hindi ko na-enjoy ang pagkain ko sayo!

“This is so new.” Yucca commented. “Seeing you getting so worked up and lollipop or hacking aren’t the reason why.”

She’s right. Ngayon lang ako nag-react ng sobra dahil sa isang tao! To think that even my lollipop can’t calm myself!

Shit lang! Now I really want to know everything about that man!

Chapter 6

I made a plan on how to get rid of L as my bodyguard. It was just a simple plan and yet it worked with my past bodyguards. It never failed to save me from being free. At kapag gumana ulit ang plano kong ’to, then my father will remove L as my bodyguard.

Mukhang mataas pa naman ang expectations nya kay L since he was recommended by one of his friends. I don’t know who he is but who cares anyway. Kapag natakasan ko si L, madi-disappoint sa kanya si Papa and maybe, he won’t plan on getting me a bodyguard again in the future dahil mga incompetent naman ang mga nakukuha nya.

I’m just a good girl. And skillful.

Inihatid ulit ako ni L sa kunwariang work ko sa araw na iyon. Nakangiti pa ako habang nakaupo sa passenger’s seat ng kotse ko. L is completely oblivious that I’m thinking a plan against him.

Tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana and looked up to the sky. It was a clear and sunny day. The birds are singing. I opened the car window and inhaled the air.

Wow… Amoy polusyon ng Maynila.

Isinara ko na lang ulit ang bintana bago pa masira ang araw ko dahil sa pollution shit na yan. But nonetheless, it was a beautiful sky, beautiful weather, beautiful day and beautiful me.

I curled the curls of my copper colored hair in my fingers and hummed a song. Nagmumukha akong baliw but I am happy. Pagkatapos kasi ng araw na ’to ay malaya na naman ako!

I looked at L. He’s serious while he’s driving beside me. Walang kangiti-ngiti ang mga labi nya. At dahil naka-side view sya sa akin ay kitang kita ko ang pagiging matangos ng ilong nya at kung gaano kahaba ang mga pilik mata nya.

He stopped the car on the parking lot of the building of the company na pagmamay-ari ng Queen. He did an unexpected thing. Bumaba sya at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto ng kotse.

Just wow! Ang akala ko ay walang gentleness sa katawan nya.

Bumaba ako at humarap sa kanya. Nakapamulsa sya at nakatingin lang din sa akin. Pinagsawa ko ang mga mata ko sa kabuuan ng mukha nya. This will be the last time that I might see his so I’ll just memorize his face.

He’s very different from my former bodyguards before. Or to all the men I’ve every met. He’s the most good looking man of them all. Wala akong maipipintas sa kabuuan nya.

I’m willing to whoo him if we’re under a different circumstances pero wala, eh. Papa hired him as my bodyguard. At hindi ako pwedeng magkaroon ng bodyguard. For sure, malalaman agad nila kung sino talaga ako at kung ano ang totoo kong trabaho kung palagi silang nakasunod sa akin.

Sayang talaga ’to si L. Minsan lang din akong manghinayang sa buhay ko bukod sa dalawang lollipop na naihulog ko sa lupa dahil sa kanya.

I will never forget those jet black eyes that intimidated me so much. Those eyes that making him looked like he’s always sleepy and uninterested with everything. Namumungay kasi ang mga iyon.

I will never forget his brush up hairstyle making him look like he’s clean and organize kahit na may mga maliliit na stubles sa mukha nya but it also make him so mature and manly.

I will never forget his thick eyebrows na palaging nagsasalubong kapag marami na syang sinasabi at tinatamad na syang magsalita. I already observed all of that sa maikling panahon na pagsasama naman. I guess I just couldn’t ignore his presence.

He’s wearing a plain white polo shirt na naka-tuck in sa maong pants nya. Humahapit ang damit nya sa katawan nya kaya bakat na bakat ang malalapad nyang dibdib at mga balikat. Shit lang… This man has a face and a body of a greek god!

Feeling ko ay nabwisit tuloy ako kay Papa. First time lang ’to. Bakit kasi ni-hire nya pa na bodyguard ko ’to? Type ko pa naman kahit medyo masungit and a man with a few words.

I don’t know how long I’ve been staring at hin but when I looked up at his face again, nasalubong ko ang mga mata nyang nakatitig sa akin. My eyes widened! Nakatitig din ba sya sa akin kanina pa? Ibig sabihin ay napanood nya ang paglalakbay ng mga mata ko sa kabuuan nya!

Shit lang talaga! Nakakahiya!

“W-why are you staring at me?” tanong ko nang hindi ko na nakayanan ang lalim ng titig nya.

“You were the one who stared at me first.” sabi nya at narinig ko na naman ang tamad na tamad nyang tono.

I exhaled a frustrated sigh. Pambihira din talaga ’tong lalaking ’to. So kapag may tumitig na iba sa kanya ay tititigan nya lang pabalik? He’s very much different sa mga taong nakilala ko which makes him more interesting!

Sadly, baka ito na ang huli naming pagkikita.

“You know, L. You’re very different with my former bodyguards.” I said. Nagsalubong ang makakapal nyang mga kilay. “You’re good looking. Too handsome that people wouldn’t think of you as my bodyguard.”

Nanatili ang pagkakakunot ng noo nya. Napangiti ako sa paggalaw ng mga mata nya habang palipat-lipat ang tingin nya sa dalawang mga mata ko. It made him looked so cute.

“And you maybe the best bodyguard compared to them.” pagpapatuloy ko. “Sana lang ay nagkakilala tayo sa iba pang pagkakataon.”

Iniwan ko syang nakakunot ang noo at mukhang nagtataka sa mga pinagsasabi ko. Hindi na ako nag-expect na magsasalita pa sya. Baka pumuti lang ang mga buhok ko sa paghihintay kaya umalis na ako doon. I rode the elevator and went to the lobby area.

Bumuntong hininga ako habang umuupo sa isa sa mga sofa doon. I want to know more about L and be friends with him. Willing akong pagtyagaan ang pagsusungit nya but I can’t risk my team.

Who knows? Baka kami pala together in the future.

But being a member of a Red Faction, natatakot akong magkaroon ng pamilya. Natatakot ako na makasali sila sa larong chess game ng dalawang organisasyon.

That’s why most of the Red Faction’s former members legally adopted a child. At iyon ang pinasali nila sa laro. Para ang totoong mga anak nila ay hindi na madamay.

Unfair, yes. Pero naiintindihan ko din sila. They just want their children to live a normal life. Normal life na hindi namin nagawang maranasan.

Pero ako? Hindi ako mandadamay ng inosente sa laro pero ayoko rin na madamay ang pamilya ko. I just hope this game will end.

This game gave me so much stress. Mabuti pa ang lollipop. Puro tamis lang ang binibigay sa akin.

Kung pwede lang na pakasalan ang lollipop, ginawa ko na.

I craved for a lollipop again kaya hinalughog ko ang bag ko pero wala akong nakita. Nasa loob pala iyon ng dashboard ko at hindi ako nakapaglagay sa bag ko sa sobrang stress ko rin sa kasungitan at pagiging tahimik ni L!

Half an hour had passed kaya nagdesisyon na akong lumabas. Hindi ko kaya ang walang lollipop. At ngayon ko na lang din tatakasan si L.

L is at the parking lot. Doon nya iniwan ang sasakyan. Doon nya ako ibinaba so he’ll expect me na doon din ako pupunta pagka-out ko sa work at doon sya nakaabang. Pero maaga pa ngayon. Hindi pa oras ng out ko at sa main entrance na ako lalabas imbes na sa basement kung nasaan ang parking lot kaya kampante ako na hindi ko makikita si L.

Imagine my surprise when I saw him outside the building like he’s really expecting me na doon ako sa main entrance lalabas. Nakapamulsa pa sya at walang emosyon ang mukha na nakatingin sa akin. Palagi naman.

“W-what—”

Hindi ako makahanap ng sasabihin! Hindi ko talaga inaasahan na makikita sya sa labas ng main entrance! Sa parking lot ko sya iniwan! Doon nya dapat ako inaabangan dahil nandoon ang kotse!

“What are you doing here?” I finally asked.

L tilted his head and looked at me intently. “Waiting for you.”

I ignored the fast hearbeat of my heart. Ano ba ’yun? Normal lang ang sagot nya at natural na hihintayin nya ako dahil ako ang binabantayan kaya bakit ganito mag-react ang puso ko?!

“But the car is in the parking lot!” giit ko. He’s waiting for me here? Sa main entrance, eh hindi naman dito naka-park ang kotse!

“Exactly what I want to tell you.” he sighed. Kulang na lang ay humikab sya sa nakikita kong katamaran nya. “The car is in the parking lot so why are you here?”

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. Dito ako lumabas kasi nga, tatakasan ko nga sya! Sure kasi talaga ako na nasa parking lot sya! O kaya kahit saan at wala dito sa labas ng main entrance na naghihintay sa akin!

“And it’s still early. You should be working by this hour.” he said. Wala na talaga akong maisagot.

Shit talaga. Mas mahirap pa pala ’to sa inaasahan ko. He caught me in the act sa pagtakas ko sa kanya!

“I forgot to bring any lollipop.” palusot ko pa. Eh, sinong tanga? Kahit yata nga bata ay hindi maniniwala sa palusot ko.

Of course. Lalong lalo na si L. Nagtaas pa sya ng kilay sa akin.

“Your lollipops is in your car. Your car is not here so why are you here? Unless humihina na ang memory mo.”

I remained silent. Kahit hindi ako magsalita, alam na nya kung anong pinaplano ko. Huling huli ako sa akto! Shit talaga!

“If you want to get rid of me, then you have to try harder.” L said and I was amazed when he showed me his smirk. “Cheap tricks won’t work on me, Codee.”

Codee… He called me by my name! At nakakainis dahil hindi ko alam kung bakit parang natuwa pa ako na tinawag nya ako sa pangalan ko!

But shit. L is a real problem. A simple trick won’t work on him so I have to think of a good plan.

Or else, hindi na ako makakapunta sa hideout at hindi na ako makakatulong sa misyon habang nasa tabi ko sya.

And we might lose the game.

Chapter 7

Hindi mabilis maloko si L. That’s the impression that he gave me. Inaasahan nya nang tatakasan ko nga sya. Maybe my father gave him a warning about me. But still, parang alam na ni L kung paanong pagtakas ang gagawin ko.

He waited at the main entrance of the building. He took the risk na abangan ako doon instead sa may parking lot. Paano pala kung sa parking lot ako lumabas instead na sa main entrance? Natakasan ko pa sya siguro.

Hindi ko alam kung paano pa ako makakapunta sa hideout ngayong nakabantay sa akin si L. It’s been days pero hindi ko pa rin nakikita ang mahal kong mga computers. I have a laptop in my room at the house but it’s too risky to use it. Hindi gaanong matibay ang firewall noon compared sa mga computers ko so I rarely use it

Good thing that we don’t have any mission yet. Hindi pa nagbibigay ang Queen kung anong gagawin namin. She’s busy with the rare drug. Pero alam ko na sooner or later, magbibigay din sya ng mission. At dapat, bago mangyari iyon ay nawala na sa landas ko si L.

I stayed at home and tried to make a good plan. Pero walang pumapasok sa isip ko. Ngayon na lang ulit ako nag isip ng paraan para mapaalis ang bodyguard ko. Palagi kasing gumagana yung plano ko dati! Pero ibang iba talaga si L.

He’s the only bodyguard who frustrates me. He’s the only bodyguard who pissed me off. Sya lang din ang hindi sumusunod sa utos ko ’cause according to him, si Papa daw ang amo nya at hindi ako. At sya lang din ang naging dahilan kung bakit may nasayang ako na dalawang lollipop!

I sighed. Feeling ko tuloy ay hindi ako normal na tao dahil nag iisip ako kung paano mapapaalis ang isang tao sa buhay ko. But then, again, am I a normal person?

I don’t have friends. Papa protected and sheltered me all my life. Ang tingin nya sa lahat ay kalaban at may masamang gagawin sa akin.

It was my choice too. Hindi ako nakipag kaibigan. Umiiwas ako sa mga gustong makipag kaibigan sa akin. With me, being a member of Red Faction, hindi malayong manganib ang buhay nila dahil sa akin.

’Cause I’m not normal.

My biological father died from the last Bloody Human Chess Game. He’s the former Knight. Namatay naman ang Mama ko nang pinanganak ako. She was just a normal person who fell inlove with my real father.

Ang umampon sa akin at ang kinilala kong magulang ay kapatid ni Mama. He treated me as his real daughter and adopted me. But he doesn’t know anything about the game.

The Queen, even as a child, is a so powerful. Nahanap nya ako noon. She told me about the chess game and explained everything to me. Thus, I became their Knight.

Pumayag ako. Sumali ako sa laro. I want to know more about my real father. Dahil kahit na may nag ampon sa akin, there’s a void in my chest that I wanted to fill. Feeling ko ay may kulang sa pagkatao ko na mapupunan lang kapag nalaman ko ang tungkol sa totoo kong mga magulang.

And lollipop was my only comfort back then. Sweets made me feel like I’m still a human. At hanggang ngayon, hindi ko mabitiwan ang pagkain ng lollipop. Buti na lang matibay ang ngipin ko.

A lollipop a day, keeps Codee alive and sexy anyway!

Tumunog ang cellphone ko and it was Enki who’s calling. Kinabahan ako. He won’t call if it’s not about our work. Baka may ipapagawa na sa aming mission ang Queen.

Shit lang. I’m still thinking of a plan on how to get rid of L!

“Hi, Enki!” maligaya kong bati pagkasagot ko ng tawag pero nagdadasal na talaga ako na sana ay walang kinalaman sa mission ang pagtawag nya.

“Alter, I need you look into someone.”

Shit! Sabi na, eh!

“Sino? Girlfriend mo?” biro ko pa. Napatingin ako sa laptop na nakalapag sa side table ng room ko.

“I sent everything to your email. The Queen needs all the information in an hour.” he said and ended the call.

Wow! Thank you, Enki, huh? May deadline talaga? Sana ay ’di ka na lang tumawag!

Napatingin ulit ako sa laptop ko. I sighed. I can’t use it. I need to use my computers.

Tumingin ako sa veranda na nandito sa kwarto ko. My room is in the second floor. Kapag tumalon ako doon, for sure na mababalian ako ng buto. But this is my only way out. Alam kong nakabantay si L sa baba.

I get dressed. Tinali ko ang kumot at comforter ko at pinagdugtong-dugtong. I can’t believe it. Sarili kong bahay pero tinatakasan ko?

I opened the sliding glass door. Handa na sana akong tumakas. Handa na sana ako magpaka-ninja pero napatigil ako nang may makitang tao sa baba ng room ko. It was the swimming pool area. Anong oras na din kaya hindi ko inaasahan na may tao pa doon.

I saw L in his full glory. Naka swimming trunks lang sya and I saw every skin and every muscle in his body. Nakatayo sya sa dulo ng pool, mukhang ngayon pa lang lalangoy.

I should take this chance to go out of my room and use the front door. Walang nakabantay doon. Makakatakas ako. Makakaalis ako nang hindi nya nakikita. Pero shit lang! Ayaw gumalaw ng mga paa ko! Tapos yung mga mata ko, naglalakbay na sa katawan ni L!

I was right. Malapad ang dibdib nya at mukhang matigas na parang ang sarap humilig doon at matulog. My eyes move down and there, I saw his eight-pack abs. Pinagpapawisan ako habang nakatingin doon! And his v-line. Shit lang! Ulam na ulam!

His thighs and legs look so muscular. His muscles were in the right places. Para talagang nililok ng isang magaling na sculptor.  Ang galing ng pagkakagawa. Perpektong perpekto!

He dive expertly and I heard the water splashed. Pinanood ko ang paglangoy nya. The muscle on his back were flexing as he did the freestyle stroke. He looked like a professional swimmer and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Tahimik ang paglangoy nya at walang ingay.

Hindi ko alam na hindi na pala ako humihinga habang pinapanood sya.. Ilang beses syang nagpabalik-balik sa paglangoy at hindi ko talaga maialis ang paningin ko sa kanya.

I should move. The Queen has an order for me that I need to do. Isang oras lang ang ibinigay nya sa akin at nababawasan na iyon dahil sa panonood ko!

Pero ipagpapalit ko ba ang magandang tanawin na ’to para lang sundin ang utos ng isang baliw na reyna? Minsan na nga lang ako makakita ng isang greek god!

Umahon si L at nakita ko ang pagbaba ng tubig sa katawan nya. Nakaramdam ako ng inggit sa tubig na nagawang humaplos sa kabuuan nya.

He walked towards the sun lounger at kinuha nya ang towel nakapatong doon. Pinunasan nya ang buhok nya kaya nagulo iyon pero shit lang talaga. Wala yatang ikapapangit ang taong ’to!

Palagi ko syang nakikita na naka-brush up ang style ng buhok kaya ngayon ko lang nakitang nakababa ang buhok nya at medyo magulo pa dahil sa ginawang pagpupunas. Ang gwapo gwapo nya sa magulo nyang buhok. He looks so breathtakingly handsome as fuck!

Tumingin sya sa gawi ko at agad na nagsalubong ang mga mata namin. Siguro ay naramdaman na nya ang pagtitig ko. Titig na titig ba naman ako at hindi talaga humiwalay ang mga mata ko sa kanya kanina pa!

Nagkatitigan kami habang pinagpatuloy nya ang pagpupunas ng buhok nya. His eyes looks so dark lalo pa at madilim na ngayon. The lights under the pool made his face cast a shadow at halos kilabutan na ako doon.

I didn’t move. I just want to stare at his greek god face and body. Sya lang ang taong may kakayahang alisin ang lahat ng hangin sa baga ko with just his stare.

Kailangan ba talagang paalisin ko sya sa buhay ko? Can’t he just… Stay? I really want to know more about him.

I sighed hopelessly. I know that can’t happen. With my life being like this, kahit ang pakikipag kaibigan ay hindi ko magagawa.

Isinampay ni L ang twalya sa balikat nya at sinuklay ng mga daliri ang basa nyang buhok. Shit! Feeling ko ay nanonood ako ng isang commercial! Bakit ba ganito itong lalaking ’to?!

I heard my phone rang again pero hindi ko maialis ang tingin ko kay L. I was under his spell. Hindi ako makawala sa titig nya.

The side of his lips slowly lift and formed a smirked. Parang alam nya kung anong nangyayari sa akin at ikinatutuwa nya iyon. Umiling sya bago tuluyang pumasok sa loob ng bahay.

Saka lang ako nakagalaw. Doon lang pumasok sa isip ko na tumutunog ang cellphone ko. Nang makita ko na si Enki ang tumatawag ay napapikit ako nang mariin.

Shit lang! ’Yung utos nga pala ng Queen!

Chapter 8

I’m so doomed. Hindi ko nagawa ang utos ng Queen. Na-distract ako sa katawan ni L! I had the chance na makatakas at maging malaya sa pagbabantay nya but I blew it off! Hindi ko akalain na ipagpapalit ko iyon sa panonood lang ng katawan nya!

Nagsisisi ba ako? Slight lang. Bihira lang kasi talaga ang ganoong chance na dumating sa akin. Enki is handsome at may maganda ring pangangatawan na ilang beses ko nang nakita. Pero iba talaga yung katawan ni L. Ngayon lang nangyari sa akin na hindi ako nakagalaw habang nakatitig sa katawan ng isang tao!

I felt like a pervert. I was peeping on him. Pero naninilip ba talaga ako? It was the pool area exactly the view from the veranda of my room. Naka-swimming trunks lang sya kaya kasalanan nya!

Kagabi pa nagri-ring ang phone ko pero hindi ko sinasagot. Si Enki lang naman ang tumatawag at may palagay ako sa kung anong sasabihin nya. He’s going to scold me dahil hindi ko nagawa ang utos ng Queen. Every words from her is important especially to Enki. Itinuturing nyang ginto ang bawat salita ng Queen.

But I can’t ignore his call forever. I can’t escape him. Worse, baka isipin pa nyang kumakalaban na ako sa Queen.

So with a groan, I answered his call.

“What happened, Alter?” tanong nya kaagad pagkasagot ko ng tawag. I never had a chance to greet him like usually do.

I sighed. “I can’t really tell you.”

Shit kasi! Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sa kanya na namangha ako sa katawan ng bodyguard ko kaya hindi ko nagawa ang ipinag uutos ng Queen! He’ll think of me as a fool! And I am not a fool! Isa lang akong lumalanding lollipop!

“Is it more important than the Queen’s order?” Enki asked. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na ‘medyo’ pero pinili ko na lang na manahimik. Mabi-beast mode kasi sya fore sure.

Dahil para kay Enki, ang Queen ang pinaka importante sa lahat.

“I was in the house, Enki. Hindi ako makalabas. Nakabantay sa akin ang bodyguard ko. My computers are in the hideout.”

“Then you should’ve find another way! You have your laptop there! You should’ve used it!”

“I can’t, Enki! Hindi pa maayos ang security ng laptop ko!”

“Ginamit mo pa rin sana! The Queen waited for your update, Alter!”

Nainis ako like shit! Kung nasa harapan ko lang si Enki, pinalamon ko na sa kanya ang lahat ng stick ng lollipop na naipon ko!

“Kung ginamit ko ang laptop ko, para ko na ring ibinigay ang location ko sa mga kalaban! I know that the Queen is the only one who’s important to you, Enki. But please, stop bitching me on my work because this is how I protect myself! Maswerte ’yang Queen mo ’cause we are here to protect her. Pero ako? I’m the only one who’s protecting myself!”

Wow, shit. I’m talking back to the Bishop. A piece who’s higher than me. And I wouldn’t be surprised kung makita ko man si Enki na nakaabang sa labas na ng gate ng bahay namin para patayin ako.

It’s just so unfair. He’s only thinking about the Queen. Queen this and that. He’ll do everything to protect his Queen. He’ll do everthing for her. At wala syang pakialam kung may masagasang tao along his way.

But I’m trying to survive here. It wasn’t easy to be a part of this game. I feel like my life is like a ticking time bomb. One wrong move and I’ll be dead. So I was really careful with everything.

Hindi ko lang matanggap na walang pakialam si Enki sa mangyayari sa akin. Basta ay maging komportable lang ang Queen nya. I am an important piece too. And they wouldn’t be able to work without me. I am their source of information. I am their eyes in every mission. They need me as much as the Queen

“The Queen will let you go off the hook for now, Alter.” Enki said, ignoring my sudden outburst. “But don’t make her wait again the next time.” he said then ended the call.

I sighed and threw my phone on the bed. Tumalbog iyon sa malambot kong kama. Sana pala sa sahig ko na lang ibinato para masira. Nabubwisit lang ako sa pagtawag ni Enki sa akin.

Umagang umaga pero sinira nya ang araw ko.

I decided to went down and eat my breakfast. Gutom ako kaya mainit din ang ulo ko. Mamaya na lang ang lollipop kapag nagkalaman na ang tyan ko.

I saw L sitting on the dining table. Nakaharap sya sa laptop nya while sipping on his coffee. And there’s this ridiculous idea that came into my mind.

Mag asawa daw kami tapos businessman si L. Nai-imagine ko na busy sya sa trabaho pero umuuwi pa rin sya to spend time with me and thus, he’s working with his laptop now.

I sighed. Napakalanding utak.

“Good morning!” I greeted him. Umupo ako sa katapat nyang upuan. Ipinaghanda kaagad ako ng maid ng almusal ko.

Sumulyap lang sa akin si L at mabilis na ibinalik ang tingin sa laptop na parang hindi ako importanteng tao. Napakamot ako sa likod ng tenga ko. Kainis din ’tong lalaki ’to. He’s the only one who ignored my beauty like that!

“What are you doing?” I tried to strike a conversation with him. Weird lang dahil kahit wala akong kaibigan ay madaldal akong tao. ’Yung mga computer ko lang ang kausap ko. Tumatahimik lang ako kapag may lollipop sa bibig ko.

As expected, hindi sumagot si L. Talagang nakukuha nya ang curiousity ko. Why is he so quiet? Why does he always looks so lazy? Anong pinakamahabang salita ang sinabi nya? What was his first word when he was a baby?

“Is it work?” I asked kahit na alam kong hindi sya sasagot. “Wow naman! Dalawa pala ang trabaho mo? Being a bodyguard tapos ano ’yung isa?”

Silence. Deadma pa rin.

“I wonder why are you so quiet? Mahal ba ang mga salita mo? How much should I pay you so you’ll talk for a day?” I sighed. Feeling ko ay hindi nya naririnig ang mha sinasabi ko. “May girlfriend ka na ba? Pwedeng mag-apply?”

Nagulat ako nang mag angat sya ng tingin sa akin at tinitigan ako. I saw something in his eyes! Hindi na iyon mukhang tinatamad. Mapupungay pa rin pero may emosyon na dumagdag sa mga mata nya.

He looked amused.

“I thought that you’ll have your ways on finding information about me?” tanong nya at saka humigop sa kape nya. Napangiti ako.

He talked to me! Mabilis kong nginuya ang pagkain sa bibig ko.

“But I want to hear everything from you.” I said. “So ano? May girlfriend ka na?”

He chuckled which made me stunned! Shit lang talaga! He knew how to smile! Oh my shit! He looked so cute and manly at the same time when he chuckled!

I want to hear it again! Ang sarap sa pandinig nang pagtawa nya!

“Pwedeng isa pa?” tanong ko at kumunot ang noo nya. Hindi sya nagsalita para magtanong kaya pinagpatuloy ko. “’Yung pagtawa mo. Ulitin mo, dali.”

He cleared his throat at napailing na lang. He didn’t say anything and focus on his laptop again. Alam kong hindi na sya magsasalita pero at least, nagkausap pa rin kami kahit saglit lang. May bonus pa na pagtawa nya!

L drove me to my fake work again. To be very honest, nagsasawa na ako sa paghatid nya sa akin dito sa araw-araw. Ilang beses na akong nagtangkang tumakas sa kanya pero palagi nya akong nahuhuli! Like he knew where to find me! Parang alam nya kung saan ako lalabas at kung anong gagawin ko!

So I prepared a very different plan for that day. Sure ako na hindi nya na ako mahuhuli sa pagtakas ko ngayon. Parang nae-excite ako sa isipin na matatakasan ko na rin sya sa wakas!

I don’t know when it started pero naging routine ko na sa araw-araw ang tangkang pagtakas sa kanya. It became our daily routine for the both of us. Kaya rin siguro alam na ni L kung saan exit ako dadaan sa mga lumilipas na araw.

And with this new plan, alam kong hindi nya ito aasahan.

Pumasok ako sa isang cubicle sa comfort room para doon magbihis. I took out the wig and the clothes out of my bag. Isinuot ko iyon at inilagay ang pinaghubaran ko sa loob.

I was wearing a faded hoodie and an old male pants. Sobrang laki sa akin ng damit at pants na suot ko. I got out of the cubicle and look at myself in the mirror.

Shit… I still managed to look so beautiful even with this ragged clothes and a gray male wig! For sure, makikilala pa rin ako ni L dito!

So I decided to do an old man makeup to myself. I put on some fake wrinkles and an eyebags. Nakita ko na nakatingin sa akin ang isang babaeng nananalamin din. Nginitian ko lang sya. I wear the hood on my head at pinagpatuloy ang ginagawa sa sarili ko.

And for a finishing touch, a lollipop.

I smiled when I got satisfied with the result. I looked like a beautiful old man! And for sure, hindi na ako makikilala ni L!

I left my bag inside the comfort room. At first, I was walking normally pero nang malapit na ako sa main exit ay binagalan ko ang paglalakad ko. I imitated how the old people walk. Natatawa ako sa sarili ko but shit. I am enjoying this.

I saw L outside the main entrance. Napakamot ako sa likod ng tenga ko. He knew that I’ll be here. Pero sorry na lang sya, I’m in disguise. It’s impossible na makilala pa nya ako.

I finally got out of the building. I sighed. Mukhang makakatakas na nga ako. I looked at L but shit, nakatingin sya sa akin! Magkasalubong ang mga kilay nya at titig na titig sa direksyon ko!

I calmed myself kahit kinakabahan ako. I still acted like a normal old guy. Pero iniiwas ko na ang tingin ko sa kanya at yumuko.

Shit lang… This is making me tense but also excited.

Ramdam ko ang mga titig ni L nang mapatapat ako sa kanya. I walked slowly like how old people walk kahit na gusto ko nang tumakbo. Imposible naman na malaman nyang ako ’to.

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang malagpasan ko na sya. I smiled in victory. My plan worked! Hindi nya nga ako nakilala!

Pero ang pagbubunyi sa loob ko ay biglang nawala nang magsalita sya.

“Need help?”

Kinabahan ako. Shit! Ako ba ang kinakausap nya? Hindi ako nag-rehearse kung paano ang magsalita! I didn’t expect that he’ll talked to me anyway!

Mabait ba sya? Tumutulong ba sya sa mga nakatatandang hirap sa paglalakad?

Instead na magsalita, umiling lang ako at nagpatuloy sa mabagal na paglalakad. I heard his chuckle again for the second time.

“C’mon, Lolo Codee. Mahina na pala ang mga buto mo. You were as strong as a healthy teenager earlier.”

I gasped and finally look at him. I saw L looking at me. I was amused, confused and embarrassed at the same time. Amused that he’s smirking again but still looking like he’s lazy. Confused on how he knew that it is me and embarrassed dahil nahuli nya ako sa ganitong nakakahiyang sitwasyon!

“You knew?” walang boses ko nang tanong.

He smirked and removed the hood in my head. Nakatitig lang ako sa gwapo nyang mukha at sa mga mata nya na parang natutuwa habang nakatingin sa akin.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do with your life.” sabi nyang tunog tamad sa pagsasalita.

“How did you know that it was me?” tanong ko. Ayokong alisin ang tingin sa mukha nyang may emosyon na ngayon.

“You look suspicious.”

I frowned. “Kapag mukhang suspicious ako na agad?”

He lazily removed my wig. Suminghap ako nang sya na mismo ang nagsuklay ng buhok ko gamit ang mga daliri nya.

He combed it with gentleness and care. Nahirapan sya dahil kulot ang hanggang balikat kong buhok kaya ang ilang mga hibla ay pumapaikot sa daliri nya. But he removed it gently. Ibang-iba sya noong inuntog nya ako sa bubong ng kotse noon.

“Plus, you look stupid.” he continued. Aapila na sana ako nang magsalita sya ulit.

Hinayaan ko na lang. Minsan lang sya magsalita, eh.

“You brought a backpack. Not the usual bag that you always use. You’re walking in a funny way. That’s not how old people walk. And you have a lollipop.”

Napakamot na lang ako sa likod ng ulo ko. I did my best. I did everything that I could think of to escape from his watch. Pero wala. Mahirap talagang matakasan ang isang L.

Umangat ang kamay nya sa mukha ko para punasan ang ilang mga linya na ginawa ko doon para sa pekeng wrinkles. He wiped it. Pigil na pigil ang pagngisi nya.

“Sige na. Tumawa ka na.” sabi kong nanlulumo. Hiyang hiya ako sa sarili ko! I just humiliated myself in front of him.

But he didn’t laugh. Instead, he smirked like he’s teasing me. He didn’t say anything and continued wiping the weird makeup off my face.

I rolled my eyes. Great! Ang galing ko. Ang galing kong magpatawa at pahiyain ang sarili ko!

Chapter 9

Old man pero may lollipop.

I sighed when I realized what have I really done. I didn’t try hard to disguise myself para makatakas kay L. If I did, then I would’ve make an effort more at hindi ako kakain ng lollipop while in disguise.

L knows how much I love lollipop. The first time we met, nakipag away talaga ako sa kanya dahil sa nahulog na lollipop nang mabangga nya ako. And I always make a fuss when my favorite sweet is involved.

I don’t even know myself. Tinatakasan ko sya pero nagbibigay ako ng palatandaan sa kanya na ako iyon kapag nagdi-disguise ako. Ginagawa ko nga ang lahat ng ito para tanggalin sya ni Papa sa trabaho. Para makalaya na ulit ako. At para makapag trabaho na ulit ng maayos as a Red Faction’s Knight.

Pero na-realize ko din na ayoko talagang mawala sa buhay ko si L.

He’s the only one who made me so curious about a certain person. Madali para sa akin na malaman ang lahat ng information tungkol sa tao. With me being a hacker, just a click away and that’s it. Alam ko na ang buong pagkatao ng kung sino man kung gugustuhin ko.

But with L, feeling ko, kahit malaman ko ang lahat ng information nya ay kulang na kulang pa. I want to know everything about him. How does he laugh? How does he sleep? How does he like his coffee? Does he want it black or with creamer? How does he look when he’s happy? How does he look when he’s sad? Does he even cry? Is he a good-kisser?

I want to know all the things about him na hindi kayang ibigay sa akin ng computers ko.

I sighed. Ano bang nangyayari sa akin? Why am I even curious about my bodyguard?

Tumingin ako kay L na seryoso at tahimik lang sa pagda-drive. This has always been my view every morning kapag pumapasok ako sa pekeng trabaho ko. Pero kapag nakarating naman doon ay susubukan kong takasan sya pero nahuhuli pa rin naman nya ako.

Napakamot na lang ako sa likod ng tenga ko. Kinuha ko ang lollipop na nasa bulsa ko. Para mamaya pa sana ’to but I feel so stressed. I unwrapped it and put it inside my mouth.

Kung isa lang akong normal na tao, lalandiin ko na talaga ’tong si L at ako pa ang manliligaw sa kanya. This man is so perfect para pakawalan pa. Pero wala, eh. I’m not normal. Kahit na bodyguard ko sya and supposed to be ay poprotektahan nya ako, hindi na talaga mawawala ang panganib sa buhay ko.

Will the game ever end? I mean, really end. Yung wala nang kasunod. Dahil ayokong maranasan ng magiging anak ko ang buhay na ’to.

Did I regret that I joined the organization? No. Dahil kung hindi, hindi ko malalaman ang buong pagkatao ko at mananatiling tanong iyon sa buong buhay ko

Maingay ang naging pagsipsip ko sa lollipop at nakita kong napakunot ang noo ni L habang nakatingin sa kalsada. He’s not saying anything while I happily eats my lollipop here. Ang tahimik nya talaga.

Inalis ko ang lollipop sa bibig ko.

“Tahimik ka ba talaga?” tanong ko. And as usual, wala akong nakuhang sagot mula sa kanya. “Bakit hindi ka madaldal? Umiyak ka ba noong baby ka pa at nilabas ka sa mundo?”

I wrinkled my nose when he didn’t answer. Shit naman. Bakit pa ba ako umaasang sasagutin nya ako?

Ibinalik ko ang lollipop sa bibig ko. Inikot ikot ko ang stick para dumikit ang tamis sa dila ko. Then I suck it which created sounds.

Narinig ko ang mabigat na buntong hininga ni L kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. Nagsalubong na ang dalawang kilay nya. Mukhang galit. Tumingin ako sa daan para hanapin kung anong kinagagalit nya. Wala naman akong nakitang kakaiba.

I shrugged my shoulders and enjoyed eating my lollipop again. I played the candy with my tongue. Ang tunog ng pagsipsip ko lang ang maririnig sa loob ng kotse dahil sobrang tahimik. L doesn’t want to turn on the radio ’cause according to him, maingay daw.

Hinawakan ko ang stick ng lollipop at maingay na inilabas iyon sa bibig ko. L groaned and muttered a lot of curses. Nagtatakang napatingin ako sa kanya.

“Anong problema?” I asked. Pero wala. Hindi nya pa rin ako sinagot! Inirapan ko na lang at muling sinubo ang lollipop.

Nakakaisang sipsip pa lang ako nang marinig ko ang malakas na pagmumura ni L.

“Goddamn it! Stop eating your lollipop!”

Nanlalaki ang mga matang napatingin ako sa kanya. He sounded frustrated and mad. Ngayon ko lang syang narinig na sumigaw kaya mas namangha pa ako kaysa sa magalit.

“Wow! Sumisigaw ka rin pala!” ang natutuwa kong sabi pero nawala ang ngiti ko nang tingnan nya ako nang masama.

“Don’t talk! Damn it!” inis na sabi nya at ibinalik ang mata sa daan. Kumunot ang noo ko.

“Ano na naman ang ginawa ko?” bigla bigla kasi syang nagagalit! Oo nga at gusto kong nagsasalita sya pero huwag naman na ganitong pasigaw at galit sya! I wanna talk to him in a calm way! ’Yung parang nagkukwentuhan lang kami. Ganon!

He didn’t answer. Galit lang syang nakatingin sa kalsada. His knuckles are turning white dahil sa higpit ng pagkakakapit nya sa steering wheel.

Napasimangot ako. Kung hindi sya magsasalita, hindi ko malalaman kung anong problema nya. But then again, kailan ba naunang magsalita ang taong ’to?

Inirapan ko na lang sya at muling isnubo ang lollipop bago sumipsip doon. Napatili na lang ako nang bigla syang magpreno. Kung hindi ako nakasuot ng seatbelt, malamang tumilapon na ako! And good thing na wala kaming kasunod na sasakyan!

“Ano bang problema mo?!” bulyaw ko sa kanya. “Papatayin mo ba ako?!”

Galit nya akong binalingan. “I’m driving, Codee. Kung ayaw mo pang mamatay, then stop eating your lollipop!”

“Bakit sobrang big deal sayo ng pagkain ko ng lollipop?!”

Ngayon na nga lang ako kumain ng lollipop dito sa loob ng kotse nang kasama sya! Natatakot kasi ako na baka pati ang pagkain ko ng lollipop ay sabihin nya na maingay! And I was right! Look at him now! Halos hindi ko pa nga ubos ang lollipop ay nagagalit na sya!

Shit sya! Kung ayaw nya ng maingay, edi sana naging bingi na lang sya!

I ate lollipop since I was stressed. Hindi ko kasi alam ang gagawin ko. I want to know more about L pero kailangan ko syang matakasan para magawa ko ang trabaho ko sa Red Faction. Pero kapag tinakasan ko sya, then Papa will fire him as my bodyguard.

I sighed. Hindi na yata ako magkakaroon ng lovelife dahil sa pesteng larong ’to! I don’t wanna die a virgin! I wanna have sex before I die! Nang marating ko man lang ang langit habang buhay pa ako dahil alam kong sa impyerno ang bagsak ko kapag namatay ako!

Wait… Speaking of sex.

Napatingin ako sa lollipop na hawak ko pa rin ngayon. Maliit na lang ang candy na nasa ibabaw. Pagkatapos ay napatingin ako kay L na magkasalubong pa rin ang mga kilay at gigil na nakahawak sa manibela.

Realization dawned upon me.

Tumawa ako nang malakas nang mapagtanto kung ano ang kinagagalit ni L. Nawala ang inis na nararamdaman ko kanina lang! Kahit yung stress ay nawala!

Ang dumi pala nyang mag isip! Ang sarap sarap ng pagkain ko dito sa lollipop pero iba na pala ang tumatakbo sa isip nya!

Oh my shit! Nananakit na ang tyan ko sa sobrang pagtawa! Nawala na ang poise ko pero wala na akong pakialam!

“Oh my gosh, L…” sabi ko nang medyo huminahon na. “You’re so cute!”

Nakita ko na namula ang tenga at ang buong leeg nya. It surprised me! Hindi ko alam na namumula rin pala sya!

Mas tumawa pa ako ng malakas dahil sa nakikita kong reaksyon nya. He glared at me and gave me a warning using his jet black eyes that I should stop laughing pero masyado akong naaaliw sa kanya ngayon. Na-realize nya na hindi nya ako mapapatigil sa pagtawa kaya inirapan nya na lang ako, na mas ikinatawa ko, at nagpatuloy na sya sa pagda-drive.

First time ko yata na tumawa ng ganitong kalakas at katagal na tipong nananakit na ang tyan ko sa katatawa. At hindi lollipop ang dahilan ko kung bakit ako masaya ngayon.

It was because L.

Shit lang… How can I let go of this man if he can make me laugh freely like? How can I let him go if he can make me happy as well? How can I let him go if I feel like I’m a normal person when I’m with him?

I sighed. Damn it.

“Stop being so adorable, L.” sabi ko at mapait na ngumiti sa kanya. Pero napalitan iyon ng totoong ngiti nang mamula na naman ang mukha nya.

Stop being so adorable like a lollipop, please…

Chapter 10

The disguise thing that I’m doing keeps going on for weeks. Hindi ko napapansin na ilang linggo na pala ang lumipas mula nang umpisahan ko ang pagpapanggap na ibang tao para makatakas kay L. Pero hanggang ngayon, heto pa rin sya. Nasa driver’s seat at ipinagmamaneho ako papunta sa peke kong trabaho.

I couldn’t believe that I’m actually enjoying what I’m doing. This is ridiculous! Bumibili pa ako ng mga wigs and clothes online para dito! And I’m even watching a video tutorial on how to do a makeup para sa mga pagpapanggap ko!

Mabuti na lang at medyo tahimik yata ang Queen ngayon. Kahit si Enki ay hindi rin nagpaparamdam. Walang misyon o kahit anong ipinapagawa nila sa akin. I wonder what they’re up to?

The rare drug?

Pero sooner or later, alam kong gagalaw din sila. Baka nga magkaroon pa kami ng misyon that will require my assistance. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano makakatakas kay L kapag nangyari iyon.

But for now, I’ll just enjoy being free with L beside me.

I hugged my shoulder bag that contains the clothes and the wig that I will use for my disguise today. I just brought my eyeshadow palette with me dahil hindi naman nagre-require ng detailed makeup ang disguise ko ngayon. Just a few touch of black eyeshadow on my face and I’m all set.

Napatingin ako kay L na tahimik lang sa pagda-drive. I sighed dreamily. Gumaganda talaga ang mood ko kapag napapatingin ako sa kanya. Ang gwapo ba naman kasi!

He’s wearing a black button down shirt na bukas ang unang dalawang butones. It was a short-sleeved shirt at hanggang kalahati lang ng braso ang manggas. I can clearly see his biceps. Nakikita ko din ang mga ugat doon na mas nakadagdag sa manliness nya.

Yung veins nya sa braso, parang ang sarap pindot-pindutin.

I feel so blessed na makasama ang isa greek god sa loob ng kotse ko. Bodyguard ko pa. Kaya nga lang, hindi nagsasalita, eh.

“Everything will be perfect kung hindi ka lang tahimik.” I said while staring at him. Titig na titig ako sa kanya pero hindi ko sya nakitaan ng pagkailang.

Sanay na kaya syang matitigan? O wala lang talaga syang pakialam sa paligid nya?

“Everything will be perfect kung hindi ka madaldal.” tamad nyang sabi.

Nagulat ako sa pagsasalita nya pero napasimangot din pagkatapos. Minsan na nga lang sya magsalita pero hindi pa kaaya-aya ang mga lumalabas sa bibig nya.

“Everything will be perfect kung wala kang palaging rebuttal sa sinasabi ko.” I said pero hindi sya nagpatalo.

“Everything will be perfect if you’ll just remain silent. No words from you, then no rebuttal.”

I rolled my eyes. Kunwari inis pero deep inside, natutuwa sa pagsasalita nya. Kahit patamad ang tono nya. Kahit mukhang hindi sya masayang kausapin ako ay okay lang. At least, narinig ko na ang boses nya ngayon!

Minsan kasi ay hindi talaga sya nagsasalita. Especially when we’re at home. He’s busy with his laptop. Kahit anong pagka-usap ko sa kanya ay wala talaga.

Hindi kaya sya napapanisan ng laway? Paano nya kaya nakakayanan ang hindi na magsalita? Ako kasi, hindi ko kaya. I’m talkative. It’s weird. I don’t have any friends to talk to but I’m talkative.

“Hindi ka ba napapagod?”

I automatically smile when I heard L’s question. Parang ngayon lang yata sya nagtanong sa akin na sya ang nag-initiate! Usually ay palaging ako tapos magbabatuhan na kami ng tanong. But now, I didn’t ask him anything pero nagtanong sya!

Is he interested in me?

“Bakit? Dahil buong araw akong tumatakbo sa isipan mo?”

Napakunot ang noo ni L dahil sa tanong ko. He glance at me like I was some specie that he doesn’t understand. Natawa ako.

Akala ko pumi-pick up line sya, eh!

Tinanguan nya ang bag na nakapatong sa mga hita ko. “To what you’re doing.”

Nakangiti akong umiling sa kanya. “Of course not! Nag eenjoy pa nga ako! I’m wondering if you can still recognized me sa gagawin ko ngayon!”

He tsked. Saglit syang sumulyap sa akin bago ibinalik ang tingin sa kalsada.

“We’re not playing.”

“Ay, hindi ba?” pabiro kong tanong sabay tawa. Bumuntong hininga si L at napailing na lang.

Feeling ko nga lahat na ay nagaya ko. I’ve been a police man with a big fat tummy. I’ve already been a firemen, a nurse, a doctor, a chef… Pero nakilala pa rin ako ni L sa mga pagpapanggap kong iyon!

After this, hindi ko na alam kung sino ang gagayahin ko. Nauubusan na ako ng ideas.

L parked the car on the parking lot at the building. Nagiging playground ko na yata ang company building ng Queen pero wala naman syang sinasabi. Hindi nya pa naman ako ibina-ban sa premises nya.

L opened the car door for me. He leaned on the car hood at humalukipkip nang makalabas ako. I smiled at him.

Shit lang! Ang gwapo ng view!

“I hope you’ll still recognized me after this.” I said. Isinabit ko ang shoulder bag sa balikat ko.

L stared at me for a second before he sighed. “I told you, Codee. Cheap tricks won’t work for me.”

I smiled. “Let’s see.”

Iniwan ko na sya doon and entered the building. I asked the guard, na kilala ko na sa araw-araw na pagpunta ko dito, if there’s another exit other than the parking lot and the main entrance. Itinuro nya naman ako kung nasaan iyon. Not familiar with me but at least, iba pa rin. Hindi ko rin kilala kung sino ang guard.

I’m stepping up my game. I want to know kung magaling nga si L. Palagi nya kasing nalalaman kung saang exit ako lalabas. So I’ll try to go out on a different exit.

Pero hindi ko alam sa sarili ko kung bakit hinihiling ko na sana ay mahanap ni L ang exit na ’to!

I’m planning to look like a beggar today. Sira sira ang white T-shirt na isinuot ko. It has a lot of black stains. Dinumihan ko kasi talaga. It has a lot of holes too.

The T-shirt is too big for me. Nagsuot ako ng maikling shit para hindi na ako masyadong mag effort sa pambaba ko.

Then, I wore a black wig. My real hair is copper in color. Kulot pa! Kaya mahahalata agad ni L kung sino ako kung hindi ako magsusuot ng wig.

Ginulo ko ang pekeng buhok ko. I made it look like it wasn’t comb for about a hundred years. When I got satisfied with my look, I went out of the bathroom. Iniwan ko ang pinagbihisan ko sa loob.

Naglalakad ako sa malamig na tiles without any shoes on but I’m still humming a song. I’m really enjoying this.

Naglalakad ako sa panibagong exit na nalaman ko. The people who’s going in and out of here is lesser compared sa mga lumalabas at pumapasok sa main entrance at sa parking lot.

Makakalabas na sana ako. L is not around. Wala sya sa labas. Siguro ay hindi nya alam ang tungkol sa exit na ’to. It disappoints me pero itinuloy ko ang paglabas when the guard stopped me and held me by the arm.

“Anong ginagawa mo dito? Bawal ka dito!” sabi nya sa akin sabay hagod sa sira sira kong damit. Napagkamalan pa yata akong manlilimos!

“What? Wait, Kuya. I am not a beggar.” sabi ko at pilit na tinatanggal ang pagkakakapit nya sa akin. But he wouldn’t let me go! “Kuya, hindi ako mahirap! Kilala ako ng CEO nyo!”

The guard tsked. Naaawa pa akong tinignan. “Sayang. Ang ganda pa sana kaya lang ay baliw.” bubulong bulong nya. “Bawal ka dito, ineng.”

“I’m not crazy, Kuya!” inis kong sabi. Shit lang! Wala ito sa plano ko!

“Oo na, oo na.” sabi nung guard na mukhang hindi naman naniniwala. “Lumabas ka na lang bago ka pa makita ng bisor ko.”

“That’s what I’m planning to do kung hindi ko ako pinigilan!” sigaw ko na. I am getting frustrated. I don’t want to shout at the guard since he’s just doing his work pero naiinis na talaga ako!

“Let go of her. She’s with me.”

Pareho kaming napatingin ni Kuyang guard kay L na papalapit sa amin. Inis na nagpapadyak ako ng mga paa. Now, my plan is ruined! This is not the way I want it to be!

Hinaklit ako ni L palayo kay Kuya guard na ikinagulat ko. Kuya guard looked shocked as well. Nabitiwan kasi ako kaagad at dahil sa biglang paghigit sa akin ay hindi ko nakontrol ang katawan ko at tumama ako sa dibdib nya. L wrapped his arms around my waist which made me gasped so loud.

Shit talaga! Kay bangong nilalang! Ang sarap singhutin at ubusin ng amoy!

“I apologize for her behavior.” I heard L said while looking at guard. “She has a psychological problem so I hope that you’ll understand.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata kong napatingin sa kanya. “Hey—”

“Naiintindihan ko, Sir. Sayang nga at kay ganda pa naman.”

“I don’t have any psychological problems!” tili ko. Nakita ko ang naaawang tingin sa akin ng guard.

Pero bago pa ako makapag paliwanag kay Kuya guard ay hinila na ako ni L pabalik sa kotse. Nagpahila na lang ako.

Now, it’s over! Hindi man lang ako nag enjoy! May umepal kasi! Saling-pusa sa laro!

Isinakay ako ni L sa passenger’s seat. Umikot sya at sumakay sa driver’s seat naman. He opened the glove compartment at napabuntong hininga nang makitang punong puno iyon ng mga lollipop.

“Hindi ito lalagyanan ng mga pagkain.” he said habang naghahalungkat ng kung ano doon.

“Walang malagyan, eh.”

He took out the wet wipes that was on the glove compartment. Nakalimutan ko na may ganoon palang nakalagay doon. Para sa akin kasi ay lalagyanan lang iyon ng mga lollipop.

Kumuha si L ng isang wipes. My eyes widened when he held my chin and started wiping the makeup off my face.

Hindi ako makagalaw. Nakahawak lang ang isang kamay nya sa baba ko habang ang isa ay pinupunasan ang mukha ko. His face is too close! Naaamoy ko na nga ang mabango nyang hininga!

Oh my shit! I wanna kiss him!

Napatitig ako sa mga labi nyang mamula-mula. Mukhang malambot iyon. It looks like it’s inviting my lips to taste it. Shit lang! Kahit ang hugis ng mga labi nya ay nakakaakit!

L stopped wiping my face. When I looked at him, nakita kong nakatitig na sya sa akin, particularly on my lips. I saw the desire in his eyes as he stared at my lips.

Wala sa sariling napalunok ako. Nakikita ko ang kagustuhan sa mga mata nya na halikan ako. And I wouldn’t stop him. I want to kiss him too!

So when I saw his head slowly inching close on mine, I closed my eyes. My heart’s beating so fast as I wait for his lips to touch mine. Excited ako pero hinayaan ko sya sa mabagal nyang pagkilos.

But instead, I heard a click.

Nang magdilat ako ay nakalayo na sya sa akin. Ibinalik nya ang wet wipes sa loob ng glove compartment. Napansin ko na naka-seat belt na pala ako.

I looked at L. His lips is suppressing a smirk. Napairap ako nang mapagtanto kung anong ginawa nya.

He’s teasing me! Isinuot nya lang ang seatbelt sa akin! Shit sya! Akala nya sya lang ang marunong mang akit? Ako rin! Kahit walang experience, nababasa ko naman sa internet so I have an idea on how to seduce a man!

So this is the kind of game that he wants? I’ll make sure na matatalo ko na talaga sya this time!

Chapter 11

I’ve been trying to search on the internet on how to seduce a man. I’ve been doing this for hours pero wala akong makitang matinong sagot. I felt so stupid. Hindi ko inakala na dadating ako sa punto ng buhay ko na magre-research ako para sa ganitong klaseng bagay!

I couldn’t accept the fact na naisahan ako ni L. He teased and tried to seduce me. Inakala kong hahalikan nya ako pero hindi nya itinuloy! So I want to get even with him!

Napahiya ako, eh. Pumikit-pikit pa ako. ’Yun pala, kakabitan nya lang pala ako ng seatbelt!

“Make him chase.” basa ko nang malakas sa isang article na nabasa ko.

Napasimangot ako. Make him chase, eh, hindi nga ako kinakausap ni L! Kung hindi pa ako magsasalita, hindi din sya magsasalita! Tapos tamad na tamad pa ang tono nya. Feeling ko ay ayaw na ayaw nya talaga akong kausap! So paano ko pahahabulin sa akin si L?

Napasabunot ako sa sarili kong buhok. This is ridiculous. Gusto ko lang na makaganti! Ayoko na naisahan nya ako. I know that I’m pretty and sexy. The woman that every man wants pero walang talab ang alindog ko kay L! Pero sya, ang lakas-lakas ng epekto nya sa akin!

Ang daya!

Naghanap pa ako ng iba pang mga articles hanggang sa nagsawa na ako. It’s useless. It’s all impossible! Hindi sapat ang basahin lang!

I had no choice but to call Yucca. Sya lang ang kilala ko na maraming alam tungkol sa mga lalaki. Sanay na sanay sya sa mga parties, clubbing at kung ano-ano pa. Sya nga ang ipinapadala sa mga ganoong mission namin dahil expert na sya sa mga ganoong lugar.

And everytime she went to that places, palagi syang may nakaka-flirt na mga lalaki.

This will be the first time that I’ll ask her questions that are not related to our missions. Hindi kami nagkakausap ni Yucca, o kahit na ni Enki outside our work. Palaging tungkol sa missons ang mga pinag uusapan namin. So I can say that we’re not friends.

“Alter.” I heard Yucca’s formal voice when I answered the call. Siguro ay iniisip nya na may kinalaman sa misson kung bakit ako tumawag. Nag alanganan akong ituloy ang pagtatanong ko.

“Yucca.” paano ko ba sisimulan?

“What’s up?” she asked.

I scratched the back of my ear. Okay. This is awkward. We’re not friends pero bakit ko sya tinawagan para magtanong tungkol sa mga ganitong bagay?

Pero may kinalaman naman ’to sa mission, right? I’ll try to seduce L. At kapag gumana, baka pagbigyan nya ako na hindi muna samahan sa buong araw? Then I’ll have my time to go to the hideout and do the mission.

Oo, tama. ’Yun nga. Tungkol sa misson din ito.

“Do you know how to seduce a man?” I asked directly.

Silence fell. Ang akala ko ay binabaan na ako ni Yucca dahil ang tagal nyang hindi nagsalita. I even checked my phone pero nakita ko na nakakonekta pa rin ang tawag so I presume that she got surprised by my question. It’s rare for me to ask these kind of questions dahil mas zero pa sa zero ang lovelife ko and Yucca knew about that.

“Wow… This is new, Alter.” sabi ni Yucca nang makabawi.

Yeah. Ever since L, ang dami ko ngang na-exprience na bago.

Nakahulog ako ng lollipop na hinding hindi pa nangyayari sa akin. Two times pa! Then I make myself look stupid by disguising myself as different types of people. And now, this.

“So ano? Alam mo nga?” I asked and I heard her laugh.

“Of course, Alter. Are you seriously asking me that? It’s offensive.”

Napangiti ako. I knew it. I asked the right person for this.

“Paano?” I asked. I recorded our conversation at ini-ready ko ang notepad sa laptop ko. I need to jot down notes in case na mabura ang recorded call namin.

“Before I answer your question, Alter. I need to know what this is for. As far as I know, the Queen is busy with the rare drug. There’s no way that she’ll give you a mission.”

I wrinkled my nose. This traitor knows what’s was going on. Alam nya na kapag busy ang Queen ay hindi nya hahayaan na gumalaw kami nang hindi sya nanonood. She’s a real deal evil queen. She’s preventing anyone to go behind her back. She’s controlling us despite being a chess piece in the game.

“Can’t you just answer the question without asking?” tanong ko. Ayokong magkaroon sya ng interes kay L. Baka gantihan nya pa ako sa mga masasakit na salitang binitiwan ko sa kanya.

“I can. But I can also not answer your question ’cause you didn’t answer mine.”

Nainis ako. Tinatakot nya akong hindi nya sasagutin ang tanong ko kapag hindi ko sinabi sa kanya kung para saan ang tanong ko. This smart traitor… Kaya bagay na bagay sa kanya ang maging traydor. Magaling din syang maglaro.

Kaya ko pang sagipin ang sarili ko sa kahihiyang mararanasan ko sa kanya by not answering her question. Pero nang maisip ko na naisahan ako ni L at wala akong makuhang matinong sagot sa internet ay kinalimutan ko ang pride ko.

“I will seduce my bodyguard.”

Kakatapos ko lang sabihin iyon nang tumawa sya nang malakas. She’s laughing her heart’s out. Naiinis ako. She’s clearly making fun of me! Kung hindi ko lang kailangan ng sagot nya ay kanina ko pa sya binabaan!

“This is really knew, Alter. So you already changed your way on how to make your father fire him, huh?”

“Shut up, Yucca! Sagutin mo na lang ang tanong ko!” inis na sabi ko pero hindi nya ako pinansin.

“Or are you having a hard time because of him? I heard that you disappointed the Queen the last time, Alter.” she tsked. “Tell me if you want to get rid of your bodyguard. I’ll kill him for you.”

Mabilis akong napatayo. “No!” I almost screamed. Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko sa hindi ko maipaliwanag na dahilan.

“Oh… Then let me rephrase it.” Yucca said. Nahalata kong inaasar nya pa rin ako. “I’ll seduce him for you, Alter.”

Ang isipin na hinahawak-hawakan ni Yucca si L at hinahalikan ay nagpausbong ng galit sa dibdib ko. I suddenly wanted to go to where Yucca is and pull her hair hanggang sa makalbo sya.

“Don’t you dare touch him, Yucca!” inis na sabi ko na may diin ang bawat salita. But Yucca laugh which made me feel more irritated

“You’re protecting your bodyguard?” hindi makapaniwala nyang tanong pero natatawa. “This is oh-so-new, Alter.”

“Kanina ka pa sa new-new mo na ’yan! Sagutin mo na lang ang tanong ko!”

But she laughed again. I groaned at nagpapadyak na. Shit lang! Bwisit na bwisit na talaga ako sa traydor na ’to!

“Take a deep breath and relax, Alter.” natatawa nyang sabi. “What kind of seducing do you want? ’Yung mauuwi sa kama or just flirting?”

“Kama ka dyan?!” nag eeskandalo kong sabi.

I explained to Yucca what I really want. I just wanted to get back to L. He teased me. Napahiya ako. He seduced me but he ignored me after. Nakakainsulto, eh, maganda naman ako!

“Okay, I get it. So you just want to flirt and have fun but he’ll go crazy for you, is that it?”

“Yes.”

“Cool. Then let me teach you some ways.”

Sa sumunod na mga oras ay nakinig lang ako kay Yucca. She gave me advices, tips and she even gave me examples. Ang dami kong nai-type sa notepad ko. Yucca is really an expert when it comes in this field!

“Always look at him in the eyes, Alter. Eye contact is really important. They say that the eye is the window of the soul and it’s true. Make him see how much you want him through your gaze.”

Well, that’s hard. Mahirap makipag usap kay L. Hindi nya ako madalas na tinitignan dahil doon. He’s always looking at his laptop or always looking on the road when he’s driving. Mahirap mahuli ang mga mata nya.

Pero kapag nahuli naman, parang ako pa ang nakukulong. Hindi ko na nagagawang alisin ang tingin ko.

“Wear clothes that will emphasize your body curves. But not too much. If you have nice legs, then you can wear short skirts and a high heels. And always smile while you’re talking to him.” she continued. “Ask personal questions to give him a hint that you’re interested in him and use body language as much as possible.”

Ang sabi ni Yucca ay kung may pagkakataon daw na hawakan ko si L ay huwag palagpasin. Like when he’s saying something funny, I should slap his arms playfully.

Paanong magpapatawa, eh, sobrang seryosong tao nya?!

“Don’t throw yourself at him, Alter.” Yucca warned me. “Don’t be a desperate, bitch. Make him chase you.”

Bumuntong hininga ako. But he’s not even interested in me! Mas interaso pa sya kung paanong hindi makakapag salita at makaka-save ng self-energy nya! Paano nya ako hahabulin kung ganoon?!

“Send him a sexy snap chat or text messages. Like when you’re about to sleep or your just woke up face. Basta. Always send him a picture while you’re inside your bedroom.”

“I don’t think I can do that.” pag amin ko. Hindi naman makapal ang mukha ko para isang araw ay basta na lang magpadala ng selfie ko sa kanya!

“But that’s an important thing, Alter. Send him your picture while you’re in the bedroom. With that, it’ll make him go crazy thinking what you’re doing inside your room.”

Ganoon ba iyon? Mababaliw sya sa simpleng picture ko habang nasa loob ng kwarto ko?

“And lastly, use food.” Yucca said. “Eat a lollipop while you’re with him.”

“I already did that.” sabi ko nang maalala yung araw na nakita ang pamumula ng mukha nya. The day that he looked so adorable!

“Really?” hindi ko alam kung natutuwa o namamangha si Yucca. “I bet that he became frustrated?”

“Namula pa nga.” I said which made Yucca laugh.

“Then try eating hotdog next time.” dinig ko ang kapilyahan sa boses nya. “Take your time. Eat it slowly. Play with it. Stare at it.  And while chewing, make eye contact with him and look at him in a seductive way. For sure, mababaliw sya sayo.”

I smiled. Madali lang pala. Ang akala ko ay mahirap. Kakain lang naman pala ako ng hotdog sa harapan nya at mababaliw na sya sa akin.

“Thanks, Yucca.” I said.

I ended the call and went downstairs. Kakatapos lang naming mag-dinner with my father and L. The maid is washing the dishes kaya nilapitan ko sya.

“Yaya Sally.” tawag ko sa maid namin. Please cook hotdogs and bacon for breakfast tomorrow.“

Napangiti ako. Yucca did help me. I thought that I need to put a lot of effort in seducing a man. Pero halos normal lang pala dapat. It sounds hard at first since I have no idea how to do it. Pero madali lang talaga kung tutuusin.

I can’t wait for tomorrow! Excited na ako para bukas! I’ll make sure na makakabawi ako sa ginawa ni L sa akin!

He started this. Pero sa huli ay sisiguraduhin ko na sya ang talo.

Chapter 12

I was feeling excited the next morning when I woke up. Ang dami pang sinabi sa akin ni Yucca. Feeling ko tuloy ay talagang mababaliw na sa akin si L kapag nagawa ko ang lahat ng mga tips na ibinigay nya. She’s an expert in seducing men kaya alam kong magtatagumpay ako.

Yucca knew that I don’t have any idea on how to do it. Binigyan nya rin ako ng mga tips, examples at scenarios. Kaya naman mas confident pa ako sa confident ngayon.

I put on a lipstick, a bit darker than my usual shade. Simpleng makeup lang kasi ang ginagawa ko palagi kung saan mukhang natural lang. Ang sabi ni Yucca ay unti-untiin ko daw ang pagbabago. Baka makahalata daw si L.

When I got satisfied with my look, bumaba na ako. Wearing only a shorts and a spaghetti top. I was feeling giddy and excited. Ang laki-laki ng ngiti ko. I can’t wait to apply the tips that Yucca taught me!

In the dining area, I found L, sitting on one of the chairs. He was busy doing something with his laptop while sipping a cup of coffee.

Tumigil ako para pagmasdan na muna sya. He was wearing a black and white plaid polo shorts and a tight maong pants. Simple lang ang suot nya pero shit lang. Ang gwapo-gwapo pa rin nya!

He looked so fresh kahit na nakakunot ang noo nya habang nakatingin sa laptop. Mas lalo tuloy dumidilim ang mga mata nya. Mukha syang may pinoproblema doon but shit, as in shit talaga! Ang gandang bungad talaga sa umaga kapag sya ang una kong makikita!

“Good morning!” ang maligayang bati ko habang lumalapit sa kanya. Saglit lang akong sinulyapan ni L at ibinalik ulit sa tingin ang laptop.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako masasanay sa trato nya sa akin. But then, kailangan ko ba talagang masanay? How long is he going to stay in my life? How long is our remaining time together bago sya mawala sa tabi ko?

Ipinilig ko ang ulo ko. Hangga’t hindi pa muling nagbibigay ng panibagong utos ang Queen, I will just enjoy my time while being temporarily free.

Doon sa katapat nyang upuan ang napili kong upuan. I can freely stare at him while he’s in front of me. Mangangalumbaba pa sana ko para mas matitigan sya ng maayos nang maalala ko ang sinabi ni Yucca.

“Don’t be a desperate bitch. He’ll feel uncomfortable if you do.”

I sighed. Ang hirap lang kasing ilayo ang mga mata ko sa kanya. But in order to win this, kahit mahirap, gagawin ko.

“Hotdog!” I exclaimed nang ihain na sa hapag ang almusal ko. Napatingin sa akin si L na nakakunot pa rin ang mukha. I smiled at him sweetly. Napailing na lang sya at bumalik na sa ginagawa.

“Plus points if it’s a jumbo hotdog.” was what Yucca said to me. Kaya naman talagang jumbo ang hotdog na ipinahain ko.

“Shit. I bet this will be delicious!” sabi ko at tumingin kay L. Hindi ko alam kung paano makukuha ang atensyon nya mula sa laptop pero bahala na.

Okay. Let’s do this!

Tinusok ko ang isang hotdog sa tinidor. It’s big. Hindi ako sanay na ganitong kalaking hotdog ang kakainin ko. Usually ay mga normal sizes lang ang kinakain ko for breakfast. Yung maliit.

I wanted to slice the hotdog before eating it. But Yucca said na huwag hahatiin. Itusok ko daw ng buo sa tinidor bago kainin.

I took a bite and moaned when I tasted the hotdog. I felt stupid. And sabi kasi ni Yucca ay umungol daw ako na parang nasasarapan talaga sa kinakain ko. Pero na-realize ko na mukha pala akong isang shit.

But L looked at me. I finally got his attention kahit hindi maganda ang reaksyon na nasa mukha nya. He looked at me weirdly. Like I’m some kind of a puzzle na hirap na hirap syang buuin. Tinignan nya ako na parang hindi ako isang tao.

L keeps on looking at me kaya ginawa ko ang tips ni Yucca. I stared at the hotdog before looking at L with serious eyes. Walang halong pagbibiro.

Then slowly, I took another bite on the hotdog without taking my eyes off him.

Mabagal kong nginuya ang hotdog habang nakatitig pa rin sa kanya. I was trying to read his mind or his reaction. Pero walang nagpapakita na kahit na ano sa mukha nya. He just keeps staring at me.

Gumagana ba? Is he feeling seduced?

I licked my lips. Nakita kong bumaba ang mga mata ni L doon. I smiled inwardly. Gumagana nga!

I took another bite and chew it in a most sensual way. Hindi naman ako nahirapan ngumuya at kainin ang hotdog. Ang sarap kasi. Juicy pa.

Bumalik sa mga mata ko ang paningin ni L. I can’t really read what’s on his mind. I know how to read emotions pero hindi ako ganoong kagaling unlike sa ibang upper pieces. Pero mahirap talagang basahin ang iniisip ni L.

He’s not saying anything. Nakatingin lang sya sa pagkain at pagnguya ko ng hotdog sa bibig ko. He then took his cup of coffee and took a sip on it. Hindi nya rin inaalis ang tingin nya sa akin habang umiinom sya ng kape.

Naubos ko na ang hotdog pero wala pa rin akong ideya sa iniisip ni L. I thought mababaliw sya sa akin kapag kumain ako ng hotdog sa harapan nya? But L seems… Unaffected. Ganoon pa rin sya. Tahimik at mukhang tamad na tamad sa buhay.

Shit lang… Did I make a fool of myself again?

“You done eating?” sa wakas ay tanong ni L sa akin. Muli syang uminom sa kape nya nang hindi inaalis ang tingin sa akin.

Pero shit! Bakit parang ako pa yata ang mas naaakit? He looked so hot while seeping on his coffee!

“Obviously.” sagot ko at ipinakita ang plato na walang laman. He nodded.

“Good. Now change. You’re already late.”

At first, hindi ko pa alam kung anong sinasabi nya. But I remembered my fake work. Usually ay mga ganitong oras nga pala kami umaalis.

Napasimangot ako at umalis sa dining table. Naiinis akong pumunta sa may living room. Halos ipadyak ko na ang mga paa ko sa bawat paghakbang na ginagawa. Pabagsak akong umupo sa may sofa.

Shit talaga! Hindi gumana! Yucca’s tips didn’t work! I think I did it right. I did my best! Ginawa ko ang lahat ng mga sinabi nya pero hindi talaga gumana!

Why?! May mali ba akong nagawa? Hindi ba ako mukhang kaakit-akit katulad ni Yucca? Damn it! Isang tao na nga lang ang ise-seduce ko, nag-fail pa ako!

Mukhang hindi man lang naapektuhan si L! He looks like he doesn’t care!

Pinanood nya lang pala akong kumain dahil inaabangan nya ako kung kailan matatapos. ’Cause I am late for my fake work!

Sumunod si L sa akin dito sa sala at umupo sa tabi ko. Nakita ko ang pagtataka sa mga mata nya habang nakatingin sa akin.

“You’re not going to work?” he asked. Tatanong-tanong pa sya, eh, alam nya namang hindi ko talaga trabaho iyon.

L seems like he’s a smart man. Hindi nga sya mabilis maloloko. So I am very sure na alam nyang hindi talaga ako nagtatrabaho sa araw-araw naming pinupuntahan. He’s not stupid not to know that.

I didn’t answer his question ’cause I’m really  really frustrated right now. Feeling ko ay may mali sa akin. Feeling ko ay hindi lang talaga ako type ni L which is ridiculous since I know that I’m pretty and sexy as hell!

I was confident with my looks all my life. Before L. Pero nang dumating sya, palagi ko na lang naiisip kung maganda ba talaga ako. Palagi na lang akong may tanong.

I realized that it can only take one person to ruin your confidence in just a snap. One person who’s opinion is very much important for you. Kaya kahit na anong gawin at sabihin nya ay malaki ang magiging epekto sa buhay mo.

Naiinis na inilabas ko ang lollipop sa may bulsa ko. Kahit ang pagbubukas ng wrapper noon ay padabog ko ding ginagawa. Itinatapon ko na lang basta kapag may napupunit akong wrapper. L tsked. Pinupulot nya naman ang bawat piraso ng wrapper na tinatapon ko.

I put the lollipop inside my mouth. Madiin ang pagsipsip na ginagawa ko. Gusto kong malasahan agad ang tamis. I wanna get rid of my frustration. And sweets will help me calm.

Hinawakan ko ang stick at inikot-ikot ang candy sa loob ng bibig ko. My tongue is playing with the candy inside my mouth. Pagkatapos ay gagawa ng ingay ang pagsipsip ko.

Good thing that sweets never fail me. I’ve read in some articles that sugar can help to relieve stress. Sugar reduces the stress hormones. Kaya kapag tumutulong ako sa mission at sobra na ang nararamdaman ko, lollipop is always the answer.

I heard L sighed beside me. Napatingin ako sa kanya dahil hindi lang iyon simpleng buntong hininga. He sounds problematic. Parang ang bigat bigat ng dinadala nya.

He was sitting beside me, legs spread apart at nakapatong ang mga siko nya sa mga hita nya. Nakayuko sya at mariin na nakapikit

“May problema ka?” tanong ko sabay maingay na sumipsip sa lollipop

He groaned frustratedly. I frowned. Sumandal sya sa sofa at masama ang mga tinging binalingan ako. Nagulat ako, syempre! Nananahimik ako dito tapos magagalit sya?

“Bakit?” tanong kong nagtataka at muling sumipsip sa lollipop.

Nakita ko ang inis sa mga mata nya. He looked like he was about to lash out when he stopped. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Gumalaw ang mga panga nya, pinagtatangis ang mga ngipin bago nagdilat ng mga mata at tumingin sa akin.

“Damn it, Codee. Stop eating lollipop when you’re with me.” he huskily breathes.

Muntik na akong tumawa nang ma-realize kung anong nangyari. If it wasn’t for his deadly glares, kanina pa ako humagalpak ng tawa.

So he prefers lollipop instead of hotdog.

Natuwa ako! It means that I have an effect on him! I’m still pretty and sexy as hell! I can seduce him!

I leaned towards him pero hindi naman sya lumayo. Nanatili syang nakasandal sa sofa. His eyes were staring so hard at me. Feeling ko ay bumubutas sa pagkatao ko ang pagtitig nya.

Sobrang lapit ng mga mukha namin sa isa’t isa. Halos maduling na ako habang nakatingin sa mga mata nya. I can smell his fresh breath mixed with coffee. He smelled manly. His smell is enough to make me go crazy over him.

Pero mali. Sya dapat ang nababaliw sa akin!

“You know how much I love lollipop, L.” I said seductively. Ibinuka ko pa ang bibig ko. I showed him how my tongue played with the candy at the end of the stick.

I saw the fire lit on his eyes. I can see the desire in it as he stares at my lips. Pinapanood nya kung paano ko paglaruan ang lollipop. Mas lalo akong natuwa.

I got excited. Nakikita ko ang intesidad sa mga mata nya. His eyes darkened sensually. Kung may ididilim pa ang itim ay baka nangyari na iyon sa mga mata nya dahil sa tindi ng pagtitig nya sa akin.

Shit lang! He looks ten times hotter now!

Hinawakan ko ang stick at inilabas ang lollipop sa bibig ko. Nanatili ang tingin nya sa mga labi ko. I unconsciously licked it. Nalasahan ko pa ang tamis ng candy doon.

“Gusto mong tikman?” I asked, talking about the lollipop.

Mas nagliyab pa yata ang apoy sa mga mata nya dahil sa tanong kong iyon. He looked so serious. So determined. Bigla na lang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

“Yeah. I should taste it.” he whispered. His voice was hoarse with desired.

Umangat ang isang kamay nya at hinawakan ang batok ko. I made a loud gasped when he pulled my head towards him.

And the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine.

Chapter 13

It feels like the whole world suddenly stopped. Kahit ang paghinga ko yata at ang pagtibok ng puso ko ay tumigil. Nakatulala lang ako while looking at L’s face na sobrang lapit sa akin. His eyes were closed and his brows furrowed.

Hindi pa nagsi-sink in sa utak ko kung anong nangyayari. L’s lips were pressed against mine. His lips were soft and I smelled his fresh breath mixed with coffee and it’s making me feel intoxicated.

Mas hinigit pa ni L ang ulo ko palapit sa kanya. Nakadiin ang mga labi namin sa isa’t isa. I don’t know what I should do. This is my very first kiss!

Ilang sandaling nanatiling magkalapat lang ang mga labi namin pero halos mabaliw na ako. Magkasalubong ang mga kilay ni L na parang naghihirap. I don’t know why he’s reacting like that. Doesn’t he want to kiss me?

His lips started moving and I almost gasped. He put my lower lip in between his lips. His mouth was so warm. Wala sa sarili akong napapikit habang dinadama ang mainit at malambot nyang mga labi

All the air nearly knocked out of my lungs when he licked my lower lip sensually. Nakikiliti ako pero kinakapos din sa paghinga. My heart is beating so loud that I’m afraid he might hear it.

He was just licking my lips. Nang magsawa sa pang ibabang labi ko ay ang upper lip ko naman ang inipit nya sa pagitan ng mga labi nya. He licked it again. Paulit-ulit hanggang sa mapakapit na ako sa damit nya.

My lips were under his mercy. Hinayaan ko lang sya sa ginagawa nya sa mga labi ko. His lips feel so softer than ever. It was my first kiss and I couldn’t get enough of this feeling.

Nagsisimula pa lang akong i-absorb ang nararamdaman ko when L pulled away. Dumilat ako. Malapit pa rin ang mukha nya sa akin and I could still smell the sweet and fresh scent of his breath.

Ang bilis bilis ng tibok ng puso ko kaya napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang maramdaman kung gaano kabilis ang pagtibok noon! L smirked at me but his eyes were deadly serious as he looked at my lips. His stares are menacing.

He licked his lips kaya napatingin ako doon. It glistened when it became wet kaya mas lalong tumingkad ang pagkapula ng mga labi nya. Those soft lips that were just pressed against mine awhile ago.

“Sweet.” he teased as he caressed his lower lip with his thumb.

Namula ang buong mukha ko at ibinalik ang lollipop sa bibig ko para pagtakpan ang pagkapahiya.

I’m sure that L tasted the sweetness of the lollipop through my lips. Kaya paulit-ulit nyang pinadaanan ng dila nya ang mga labi ko kanina. Inalok ko sya kung gusto nyang matikman ang lollipop. And he did. Gamit ang mga labi ko.

So this is the feeling of having a first kiss. It feels… New. Kakaiba sa pakiramdam. Nagpapabilis sa tibok ng puso ko at pinangangapusan ako ng hininga. At shit lang. Sobrang lambot talaga ng mga labi ni L!

Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa mga labi nya. I wanted to taste it again. I wanted to feel the softness of his lips. I wanted to feel again how warm his mouth is.

Pero inilayo na ni L ang sarili nya sa akin. I wanted to protest pero inunahan ako ng hiya. Ang lakas ng loob kong manguna sa pangse-seduce kanina pero titiklop naman pala agad ako.

Wala sa sariling napatayo ako at iniwan sa sala si L. I went inside my room. Locked myself up and dive on the bed. Ibinaon ko ang mukha ko sa unan at doon tumili.

I just had my first kiss! With a greek god!

Oh my shit! Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Should I be happy? Should I be angry? Come to think of it. It was a stolen kiss! Basta na lang ako hinigit ni L palapit sa kanya at hindi na ako nakapagreklamo!

“You’re a liar, Codee. Ginusto mo rin.” sabi ko habang tumitihaya at napatitig sa kisame.

Wala sa sariling napahawak ako sa mga labi ko. The feeling of L’s lips is still here. Hindi nawawala. Kahit ang init ng mga labi nya ay parang nararamdaman ko pa rin. But still. I want to kiss him again.

Shit lang. Feeling ko ay ang landi-landi ko.

But did I do it right? Hindi man lang gumalaw ang mga labi ko. It was L who only moved. At isa pa, parang hindi naman katulad ng paghalik nya sa akin kanina kumpara sa mga napapanood ko sa palabas.

Can I considered what happened earlier as a kiss? At ano kaya ang iniisip ni L? That I’m a lame kisser?

Sana pala ay nanghingi din ako ng tips kay Yucca kung paano ang humalik!

With the hope that L might kiss me again, I called Yucca. Ewan ko. Feeling ko ay nababaliw na ako. I am not like this! Hindi ako ganitong kalandi noon!

All I wanted before is my lollipop and my laptop. Pero mukhang mapapadagdag si L sa kinaaadikan ko!

Shit lang! Ako yata ang na-seduce at hindi sya!

Matagal bago sagutin ni Yucca ang tawag kaya nagtaka ako. She didn’t answer the call so I called her again. Sinagot nya rin naman pagkatapos ng ilang mga ring.

“Alter, you shouldn’t have called me. Not today.” sabi nya agad pagkasagot nya ng tawag.

I frowned. She sounds like she’s restraining her voice. Para syang bumubulong.

“Bakit?” I asked and I heard her sigh.

“If only you’re going to the hideout, then you’ll know.”

“You know that I can’t. Hindi ko nga matakasan ang bodyguard ko, remember?”

Alam kong magsasalita pa si Yucca para kumontra sa sasabihin ko when I heard a male voice on the other. The man was asking Yucca kung sino ako. She answered that I’m her friend. Napatawa tuloy ako.

“Kailan pa tayo naging magkaibigan?” I asked nang bumalik na sa linya si Yucca.

“Shut up.” she hissed. I laughed with no humor.

“Traitor.”

Hindi agad nakapagsalita si Yucca. She’s guilty. Pero hindi ko pinagsisisihan na sabihan ko sya noon. Traydor naman talaga sya. Hindi ko lang alam kung paano nya nasisikmura ang manloko.

No wonder that the Queen really hates her. She’s a traitor. She was supposed to protect the King pero he’s now in state of coma dahil na din kay Yucca.

Yucca sighed. “I bet you didn’t call just to call me names?”

Nag alangan na naman tuloy akong magtanong. Pagkatapos ko syang sabihan na traydor sya, manghihingi ako ng tulong? I feel like a hypocrite.

Mukhang nahalata ni Yucca ang uncertainty ko kaya sya na ang nagtanong.

“Is it about your bodyguard?” she asked. Napakamot ako sa likod ng tenga ko bago sya sinagot.

“Yes…”

“So? What happened?”

“He kissed me.” kung kiss man ang maitatawag doon.

Narinig ko ang tili ni Yucca sa kabilang linya kaya hindi ko mapigilan ang mapatawa. She’s acting like a teenager. She’s acting like a normal girl and I don’t know but I feel thankful. Feeling ko ay isa rin akong normal na teenager na nakikipag kwentuhan about sa crush nya.

“Oh my gosh! Tell me everything in detail! What happened? How did it happen? Is he a good-kisser? Is it a torrid kiss? A french kiss? Is it a wet kiss?” ang sunod-sunod na tanong ni Yucca. “How big is he?”

Nangunot ang noo ko sa huli nyang tanong. Hindi ko kasi naintindihan.

“Anong how big is he?”

“How big is he?” ulit nya at mas lalo pa akong naguluhan.

“Alin? Si L? Malaki na ’yun! Bodyguard ko nga, diba?” wala bang common sense ’to si Yucca?

I heard her frustrated groan on the other line. “That’s not what I meant! I’m talking about his cock! His penis! How big is it?”

Naeeskandalo akong suminghap dahil sa diretso nyang tanong. My face flushed as I realized what she’s talking about. Nakalimutan ko na masyado nga palang open-minded si Yucca!

“Hindi kami umabot sa ganoon! He only kissed me!”

“Oh…” I heard disappointment in her voice. Pero nang magsalita ay sumigla ulit. “But at least your lips is not a virgin anymore! I’m so proud of you!”

I rolled my eyes pero napatawa din maya-maya. Yucca laughed with me and it feels so refreshing. Mukhang nawala sa isip nya kung nasaan sya ngayon at kailangan na mag ingat sya sa pakikipag usap sa akin.

“But the seducing game isn’t done yet, Alter.” Yucca said afterwards. “Remember my tips. Keep that in your head and your bodyguard will go crazy over you the soonest.”

Tumango ako. Kahit na hindi gumana ang jumbo hotdog tips nya, at least nakatulong rin naman sya.

“And another piece of advice, Alter.” she said. “Check his fingernails. Especially his middle fingernail. If it’s big, then his is big.” nang hindi ako magsalita ay dinugtungan nya. “His cock. His penis. You’ll have an idea if it’s big base on his fingernails.”

Maingay akong napasinghap na mas nagpatawa kay Yucca. Naiinis na pinatay ko ang tawag. She’s teasing me. Alam nya na wala pa akong alam sa ganoong bagay. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ang mang akit tapos iyon pa?

I sighed and put my phone on the bedside table. Muli kong naalala ang halik which put a smile on my lips.

In this round, I didn’t know who won. If it’s L or me.

Chapter 14

Hindi ko alam kung paano pakikitunguhan si L after the kiss. Nahihiya ako. I feel like it’s going to be awkward between us. O baka ako lang? Shit lang. Hindi ko alam kung anong susunod na dapat kong gawin!

Yucca said that I should continue on seducing him if I want him to go crazy over him. Mukha naman daw kasing naaapektukhan ang bodyguard ko. She’s right. My moves do. have an effect on him. Pero meron din epekto sa akin ang mga ginagawa ni L!

I so like the kiss. I like the feeling of his soft lips against mine. I like the feeling of his warm mouth. I like the smell of his breath. I like that kiss to happen again.

Shit talaga! I knew it! Maaadik nga talaga ako kay L!

Mas napadali ang trabahong pagbabantay sa akin ni L dahil ilang araw na rin akong nagkukulong sa kwarto ko. Hindi na rin naman ako nagtangkang tumakas. I don’t have the courage to see him. Naiisip ko pa lang na makikita ko sya ay nahihiya na kaagad ako.

Ilang beses akong nagtangkang lumabas sa lungga ko pero bumabalik din kaagad kapag naiisip ko na nasa baba lang si L. My father noticed my behavior. Hindi din kasi ako nakakasabay sa lunch ’cause L is there too. Hinihintay ko na lang na matapos sila at tsaka ako kakain.

I felt stupid. Parang naririnig ko ang palaging itinatanong sa akin ni L noon sa tuwing nagdi-disguise ako. Na kung ano daw ba ang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko.

I was happy when I was seducing him pero nang kumagat sya ay saka naman ako natakot. In L’s point of view, baka sinasabihan nya na akong paasa. Na hinarot ko lang sya pagkatapos ay wala na.

No one can’t blame me! Half of my life, ginugol ko ang sarili ko sa pag aaral on how to be a best hacker for the Red Faction. Inaasahan kasi nila ako. Kaya naman pinagbutihan ko. I became the best tracker they could’ve ever had.

Speaking of Red Faction… Himala yata at hindi pa nag iingay ang baliw naming reyna? She’s been very busy, huh?

Well, at least… Hindi nya ako ginugulo. Kapag may misyon pa naman ay isa ako sa mga nauuna nyang tinatawagan.

Naagaw ang atensyon ko nang marinig ang pagtunog ng tubig mula sa labas. Someone was using the pool again. My first thought was L. Mabilis akong napatayo at sinilip ang labas ng kwarto ko.

Hindi nga ako nagkamali. I saw L on the water, leaning on the side of the pool. Nakasandal sya sa gilid ng pool paharap sa akin. Ang dalawa nyang mga siko ay nakapatong doon. Mas lalo tuloy nadepina kung gaano kalapad ang dibdib nya.

He was holding a glass of alcohol on his right hand. Habang ang bote ay nakapatong lang sa gilid ng pool.

Nag angat ng paningin si L and his eyes immediately found mine. Too late to hide. He had seen me.

Kaya imbes na magtago ay pinakatitigan ko sya. Wala syang suot na pang itaas na damit. Dahil nakasandal ang mga siko nya sa gilid ng pool, mas lalo akong nagkaroon ng access na matitigan pa ang katawan nya.

Those eight pack abs… Those muscles that were on their right places. Kahit na sa malayo ay perpektong perpekto pa rin.

He brought the glass of alcohol on his lips. Magkatitigan kami habang umiinom sya ng alak. And somehow, that makes me feel excited.

Mas lalong naging gwapo si L sa paningin ko habang umiinom sya sa baso at hindi inaalis ang tingin sa akin. Somehow, the beating of my heart started to race.

It looks like he’s inviting me to join him in the pool. Like he’s testing me kung kakagat ako sa pangse-seduce nya.

At gumana ang pagiging competitive ko.

Nagpalit ako into a two piece red swimsuit. Mas lalong nahantad ang kaputian ko dahil sa kulay ng bikini ko. That’s why I really like the color red. It was sophisticated and yet daring.

I let my curly copper hair fall onto my shoulder blades. I wore a light makeup para hindi maging masyadong exaggerated ang get up ko. Saka ko tinitigan ang sarili ko sa salamin.

Ang puti-puti ko. That’s why I have a light freckles on my cheeks and nose. Madalas ay hindi ko ikinatutuwa ang pagkakaroon ko ng ganoon sa mukha pero minsan ay nagugustuhan ko din naman. Just like tonight.

I wore a robe and took a lollipop with me before going out of the room. I was unwrapping the lollipop while walking my way towards pool area. Nang makarating ako doon ay saktong natanggal ko na ang wrapper ng lollipop.

L smirked at me when he saw me. I put the lollipop inside my mouth and took my time walking towards him. Uminom ulit sya ng alak mula sa basong hawak nya nang hindi inaalis ang paningin sa akin.

Tumigil ako sa gilid ng pool, opposite to where he is. Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko habang nakatingin sa mga mata nyang mas dumilim pa ngayong gabi. But I never let my nervousness show on my face. Instead, I confidently remove my robe and flaunt my body in front of him while he’s watching.

Ibinaba nya ang baso ng alak at ipinatong iyon sa may gilid ng pool sa tabi nya without taking his eyes off me. Ang kaninang ngisi sa mga labi nya ay nawala na. Napalitan ng pagiging seryoso. Nakita kong hinagod nya ng tingin ang kabuuan ko. The way he looks at me makes me shiver kaya bumaba na ako at inilubog ang sarili ko sa pool.

The water was cold. Saglit na nawala sa isip ko ang lalaking nanonood sa akin nang maramdaman ko ang lamig ng tubig. Umabot iyon hanggang balikat ko kaya nabasa ang dulo ng buhok ko.

Narinig ko ang paggalaw ng tubig kaya napatingin ulit ako kay L. He swims his way towards me. Nang umahon ay nasa harapan ko na sya. He brushed his wet hair with his fingers and he looked sexy and… Erotic.

We’re just staring at each other. None of us was saying anything. Titig na titig ako kay L at ganoon din sya sa akin. I took a deep breath when he walked towards me, closing the distance between us.

My heart is beating so fast. Pigil na pigil akong ipakita iyon sa mukha ko. L is staring at me and his jet black eyes are making me nervous but excited. Idagdag pa ang lamig ng tubig ng pool.

Good thing that I’m eating a lollipop. Natatakpan noon ang panginginig ng mga labi ko. Shit lang kasi! Ang lamig ng tubig tapos yung tingin ni L, nakakatunaw.

Pinigilan ko ang mapasinghap nang inilapit nya pa ang sarili nya sa akin. Pinagdikit nya ang mga noo namin. I smelled the alcohol on his breath but shit… It was so sexy. He smelled and looked sexy in every way.

Maingay akong napasipsip sa lollipop sa bibig ko dahil sa kabang nararamdaman. From my eyes, L looked down on my lips. Pinanood nya ang paglalaro ko ng lollipop sa loob ng bibig ko.

“I wanna taste it again.” he said softly using his hoarse and raspy voice. Nagulo yata ang buong sistema ko dahil sa sinabi at sa paraan ng pagkakasabi nya.

Shit talaga! He’s using his bedroom voice!

“Let me taste how sweet it is.” he said. Hindi ko alam kung ang lollipop o ang mga labi ko ang tinutukoy nya.

Wala sa sariling tinanggal ko sa bibig ko ang lollipop. L’s eyes look so fiery as he stared at my lips. I noticed that his face is closing in. Mas lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko at wala na akong nagawa kundi ang pumikit na lang at ipaubaya ang sarili ko sa kanya.

But before our lips met, I heard my father’s voice inside the house.

“Codee? Nasaan ka?”

Mabilis akong nagdilat ng mga mata. Hindi inilayo ni L ang sarili nya sa akin but I’m so sure that he heard my father too. Natatarantang itinulak ko sya palayo sa akin. But he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me more towards his body. I felt his warm hands against my skin.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong uunahin kong punahin. Ang init ng katawan ni L sa akin o ang mga yabag ni Papa na papalapit na sa amin. Siguro ay hinanap nya ako sa kwarto pero nang malamang wala ako doon ay saka ako hinanap sa pool area.

“Si Papa!” I hissed. Half panicking. Alam ko kasi na ilang sandali lang ay makikita na kami ng ama ko!

But before it happened, hinila ako ni L at isinama sa paglubog nya sa tubig.

Because it was too sudden, nawalan na ako ng panahon para punuin ng hangin ang baga ko. I panicked. Mas lalo tuloy akong kinapos sa hangin. I tried to remove L’s arms on my waist para sana umahon but he just held me tighter.

Shit! Hindi na ako makahinga!

Malikot na ang paggalaw ko at pinipilit ko ang sarili kong makawala sa hawak nya dahil kailangan ko na talagang huminga. But before I could die, I felt L’s lips on mine again.

Mula sa bibig nya ay naramdaman ko ang pagbibigay nya ng hangin sa akin. I got to breathe again pero wala doon ang atensyon ko. It was on his soft lips that was moving against mine. Saglit akong natigilan pero nang gumalaw ang nga labi nya ay may nangningas sa loob ng katawan ko.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and I unconsciously pulled him towards me. He’s kissing me in a most gentle and romantic way. The way his lips move was so sensual.

I heard muffled voice from above. I don’t know who it is from. Maybe from my father. Hinahanap nya nga pala ako kanina.

Pero wala na akong ibang maisip kundi ang mga malalambot na labi ni L. Shit. Ang lambot lambot ng mga labi nya at gustong gusto kong panggigilan. So I bit his lower lip, earning a moan from him. Mas humigpit ang kapit nya sa bewang ko at hinapit ako palapit sa kanya.

His kiss became aggressive. So aggressive that it nearly knocked out all the air inside my lungs. Pero lumaban ako. Shit, I want to taste his lips more. I want him so bad.

Kung hindi ko lang naramdaman ang pag ihip ng hangin ay hindi ko malalaman na wala na pala kami sa ilalim ng tubig. But I didn’t feel the cold wind. Pakiramdam ko pa nga ay uminit ang tubig pati na rin ang buong paligid.

L gave me an open-mouthed kiss. I can feel how his lips moved and I mimicked the way he moved. Ginaya ko ang paggalaw ng mga labi nya. Sucking and licking each others lips. I tasted the alcohol in him and I’m sure, L tasted the sweetness of my lollipop in me as well.

Wala sa sariling napasabunot ako sa buhok nya. He let out a groaned and it was so manly in my ears. His moan makes me feel heaven. Mas lalo akong nanggigil at hinila pa sya palapit sa akin.

His fingers tangled on the hair on the back of my head. Mas dininan nya pa ang paghalik sa akin. I moaned when he licked and sucked my lower lip.

Para kaming magkasintahan na hindi nagkita nang ilang taon dahil sa halik na pinagsasaluhan namin. L making me feel that he really wanted me and I feel so overwhelmed. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay ang ganda ganda ko.

Kung hindi lang namin kinailangan na kumuha ng hangin ay hindi namin titigilan ang labi ng isa’t isa. Pareho kaming hinahingal nang tumigil kami. His forehead rested on mine as I stare in his eyes. Nakikita ko ang apoy na hindi pa rin naaapula doon. And shit, he really looks so sexy.

“Tangina…” he breathe as he cursed. “I can’t get enough of you.” he said and gave me small and wet kisses.

Napangiti ako. I feel the same way. I want L to kiss me again. I can’t get enough of him too.

Pero nawala ang ngiti ko nang maramdaman ang kamay kong nakakapit sa likod ng leeg nya. Napalabi ako. I saw L giving me his confused look. Nagtatanong kung bakit biglang naging ganito ang reaksyon ko.

“Ang lollipop ko…” I said softly. Grieving on the lollipop that was somewhere under the pool, I’m sure. Nabitiwan ko siguro habang naghahalikan kami kanina.

L chuckled. Naramdaman ko ang pag alog ng mga balikat nya habang tumatawa. He planted a small kiss on my lips again before he pulled me in a hug.

“Your lips is sweeter, though.” he whispered against my ears. And it’s enough to put the smile back on my lips again.

I think his lips is sweeter too… Sweeter than a lollipop.

Chapter 15

I seldom eat lollipop ever since I tasted L’s lips. Parang nakukulangan na ako sa tamis ng lollipop ng favorite brand ko. The sweetness is not enough. Parang may kulang at iyon ang hinahanap-hanap ko.

L’s lips taste so sweet. Nahigitan ng mga labi nya ang tamis ng lollipop na gusto ko. Kaya sa tuwing kumakain ako ng lollipop, I can’t help but to compare it’s sweetness with L’s lips. Nainis ako dahil sa bawat pagkain ko noon ay naaalala ko lang ang mga labi ni L kaya tinigilan ko muna.

And I can’t believe it! Sobrang favorite ko ang lollipop. Ilang taon kong iningatan ang ngipin ko para hindi ako matigil sa pagkain ng lollipop. Hindi ko akalain na ang mga labi lang pala ni L ang magpapatigil sa akin sa pagkain noon!

What happened on the swimming pool wasn’t the last time that we kissed. Nasundan pa iyon nang maraming beses. Almost everyday, every hour, o basta may pagkakataon ay sinusunggaban namin para maghalikan. It’s like we’re addicted to each other’s lips.

Just like today.

I moaned when I felt L’s warm and wet tongue licked my lips in a very sensual way. I was busy drinking my glass of milk in the kitchen when he cornered me. Nagulat ako nang hapitin nya ako at inipit ang katawan ko between the ref and his body. He didn’t give me enough time to react by his sudden movements as he kissed me hard.

Kinuha nya ang baso ng gatas na nasa kamay ko bago ko pa iyon mabitiwan at ipinatong nya sa may lababo. He licked my lips again, removing the milk on my upper lip. Pagkatapos ay idiniin na nya ang mga labi sa akin.

I felt his hands on the both sides of my waist, holding me firmly. My arms encircled on his neck. He crouched down to kiss me fully. Sinakop ng mga labi nya ang mga labi ko. I can’t help but to be submissive towards him.

He opened his mouth and moved his lips against mine. Iniipit sa pagitan ng mga labi nya ang pang ibabang labi ko. Then his lips will move again at ang upper lip ko naman iipitin ng mga labi nya.

Ginaya ko ang paggalaw ng mga labi nya. He was my first kiss. The first time that we kissed was on the sofa at wala pa akong alam kung paano ang humalik noon. But everytime that we kissed, it feels like L is teaching me on how to do it properly.

And I’m a fast learner. Ilan pang ulit ay naririnig ko ang mga pag ungol nya kapag sinasagot ko ang paghalik nya. And shit lang. Ang sarap sa pandinig ng mga ungol nya!

His moves were vigorous. Mapang-angkin ang bawat paggalaw ng mga labi nya. Hindi ko napigilan ang pagkawala ng mga ungol sa lalamunan ko. His kiss was wet. He was using his tongue to licked my lips like it was some kind of sweets.

“L…” I breathe as I moan his name when he finally let go of my lips. Pero ang mga labi nya ay lumipat sa pisngi ko, pababa sa leeg ko. He kissed me on the sensitive part of my neck at kung hindi nya lang hawak ang bewang ko, for sure na sumalampak na ako sa sahig kanina pa.

“Hmm?” he asked while he’s busy kissing my neck. Ibinuka ko ang mga bibig ko para makakuha ng hangin para sa baga ko. Feeling ko kasi ay hinihigop nya ang lahat ng hangin sa katawan ko.

“Baka m-may…” I gasped when he nibbled a skin on my neck. “B-baka may makakita sa atin.”

He stopped kissing my neck. Gusto kong magreklamo pero naalala kong ako nga pala ang dahilan kung bakit sya tumigil.

Shit talaga! Nahihilo na ako sa nararamdaman ko!

“We’re not doing anything illegal.” he said and give me a wet kiss on my lips again. Sinubukan kong ilayo ang ulo ko mula sa kanya.

“B-baka makarating k-kay Papa.” I said. Maingay ang naging pagsinghap ko when he nibbled my earlobe. Muling bumaba ang mga labi nya sa leeg ko.

“Last time I checked,” he was talking while he’s kissing my neck. Ramdam na ramdam ko tuloy ang paggalaw ng mga labi nya. “Your father didn’t give me any rule that I shouldn’t kiss you.”

I wanna enjoy what he’s doing to me. Pero natatakot kasi ako na baka may makakita sa amin at isumbong kay Papa. I know that Papa likes L. Hindi nya ako ipagkakatiwala ng buo sa kanya kung hindi. He even let L live inside our house. Pero nahihiya ako kapag nalaman nyang may nakahuli sa amin at sa paraang iyon pa nya malalaman ang namamagitan sa amin ni L.

Pero ano nga ba ang meron sa aming dalawa?

“But—” I was about to say something again pero pinigilan ako ng mga labi nya.

“Stop talking and let’s just kiss.” he said and held me on the chin. “Part your lips, Codee.”

He didn’t have to ask me twice. His lazy eyes looked so intense today. Parang sinasabi na dapat kong gawin ang lahat ng utos nya. Kaya ginawa ko ang gusto nya. I saw his smirk before he attacked my lips again. Napasinghap ako nang maramdaman ko ang dila nya sa loob ng bibig ko.

His tongue explored the insides of my mouth. He’s kissing me like he was mining for a gold. I felt so overwhelmed. I feel like I’m such a treasure na gustong gusto nyang makuha.

He teased my tongue, urging me to do the same as him. Kaya naman sinalubong ko ang dila nya ng dila ko. Our tongue played with each other. I moaned and pulled him towards me.

Naramdaman kong bumaba ang kaliwang kamay nya sa kanang hita ko. He caressed it. I was only wearing a shorts kaya ramdam ko kung gaano kainit ang palad nya. It added fuel to the fire at mas lumalim at dumiin pa ang halikan namin.

Inangat nya ang hita ko at ipinirmi sa gilid ng bewang nya. He placed himself in between my legs. I feel the rough fabric of his pants against the soft fabric of my shorts. He pressed and grinded his hips on me. Halos mabaliw ko sa paggalaw ng balakang nya sa harapan ko.

“Oh, L…” I breathe when his lips travelled down my neck. Naramdaman ko ang pagngisi nya sa leeg ko as he grinded his hips like he’s dancing on a soft but sensual music.

“What, my Codee?” he said huskily habang patuloy lang sa paggalaw. “You like this, hm?”

“My God, L…” Halos hindi ko na makilala ang boses ko. My voice sounded so erotic. Pinamulahan ako ng mukha sa kahihiyan pero nawala rin nang mas bumilis ang paggalaw ni L sa harapan ko.

Shit! It feels so good!

Humigpit ang kapit nya sa hita ko. Halos bumaon na ang mga daliri nya doon. But I didn’t care. He make me feel so wanted. He make me feel like I’m the sexiest girl alive. He make me feel so good.

“Codee…” ungol nya sa pangalan ko. He grinded his hips so hard and fast. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang malaman kung ano ang pinaplano nya.

I wanted to push him away. This isn’t the right place for this! Kahit nga ang paghahalikan ay hindi rin dito ang tamang lugar. But L wanted to do it. And I want it too kaya hindi ko sya pinigilan.

Pero iba na ang gusto nyang mangyari ngayon!

“L…” pagtutol ko sana pero ungol ang lumabas sa lalamunan ko. Bumagal ang paggalaw nya pero maya-maya ay bumilis ulit.

We are fucking dry humping in the fucking kitchen! It feels so hot pero shit, baka may makakita sa amin!

Mabibigat na ang paghinga ni L at marahas na paggalaw nya. His hands were holding my waist and thigh firmly. His lips were sucking and licking the skin on my neck. Wala akong nagawa kundi ang mapaungol na lang.

But before L could explode, we heard Yaya Sally’s horrified shrieked.

“ Por Dios por Santo ! Ang mga batang ’to! Huwag kayong gumawa ng milagro dito sa kusina!“

Nanlamig ang buong katawan ko at nawala ang init na nararamdaman ko kanina. Nahiya ako nang makita ang nanlalaking mga mata ni Yaya Sally habang nakatingin sa aming dalawa ni L. I tried to push L away from me pero nanatili lang syang nakadikit sa katawan ko. He already stopped moving, thankfully.

“L, alis na.” bulong ko sa kanya at itinulak pa ang dibdib nya palayo sa akin pero hindi sya natinag. “L, alis na sabi.” ang may diin at kalakasan ko nang sabi.

I looked at Yaya Sally, still with wide eyes while looking at us. I gave her an apologetic smile. Napailing na lang sya at itinuloy ang dapat na gagawin sa kusina.

“L!” I hissed when he didn’t even move. “Move. Tara na. Nakakahiya kay Yaya Sally.”

He tsked. “Istorbo.” ang inis nyang sabi bago ibinaba ang hita ko at lumayo sa akin. Aayusin ko pa sana ang sarili ko pero mabilis nya akong hinigit paalis sa kusina.

When Yaya Sally was out of our sight, L attacked my lips again. Hinapit nya ako palapit pa sa kanya at madiin ang paghalik na ginawa sa akin. I can’t help but to laugh. Sinubukan kong ilayo ang sarili ko sa kanya pero hinuhuli nya lang ulit ang mga labi ko.

“Stop struggling.” Ang inis nyang sabi, trying to give me a kiss. Napatawa ako at hinampas ang dibdib nya.

“Isa, L! Nahuli na nga tayo ipagpapatuloy mo pa!”

Naiinis na binitiwan nya ako at nakasimangot na bumulong. “Istorbo kasi.”

I chuckled. He looked so cute and I can’t help but to give him a kiss. Plano ko sanang saglit lang iyon pero hinapit nya ulit ako palapit sa kanya at nilaliman pa ang halik. I laughed while trying to get away from him.

“L! Isa!”

“Oo na, oo na.” ang naiinis nyang sabi habang lumalayo sa akin. “I need a cold shower.” he tsked before walking towards his room.

Tuluyan na akong napatawa. Shit lang! He is so adorable. Para syang batang hindi pinagbigyan sa gusto nya. Napailing na lang ako and decided to go inside my room.

I need a cold shower as well.

Chapter 16

Iniwasan ko si L after that day na nahuli kami ni Yaya Sally. Nahihiya ako sa matanda. She caught us making out in the kitchen. Bakit ba kasi hinayaan kong lumagpas kami sa halikan stage? At sa kusina pa talaga!

Now I’m afraid that she’ll tell it to my father. Shit lang! Ilang araw na akong nai-stress dahil dito. Natatakot ako na kapag nalaman ni Papa ay paalisin nya si L. Yes, he like him but maybe only as my bodyguard. He hired L to guard me. That and nothing else!

Pero iyon naman talaga ang gusto ko diba? To let him fire L as my bodyguard. Kaya nga nagpatulong ako kay Yucca on how to seduce him. That was one of the reason why I did it. Para makalaya na ako sa pagbabantay nya.

But no. I don’t want him to go. I am enjoying the times when I’m with him. Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganito. At ayokong mawala ang feelings na ’to. It feels so good but painful at the same time. Good dahil natutuwa ako kapag kasama si L. Painful dahil sa sobrang saya ko ay parang masakit na. I don’t know… I just can’t explain the feeling.

All that I know is… I want to be with L all the time. I’ll just pray that Yaya Sally won’t tell us to my father.

L didn’t try hard to get near me though. Kung noong unang mga araw na pag iwas ko ay sinusubukan nyang lumapit sa akin. Pero kapag nakikita kong palapit na sya ay saka ako umiiwas at nagkukulong sa kwarto ko. It’s hard to avoid him since we’re just inside the same roof.

Pero nang mga sumunod na araw, he must’ve realized that I’m avoiding him. Thus, he stopped trying to pursue me. Nandoon lang sya palagi sa harap ng laptop nya. He looked serious everytime I saw him. Ni hindi nga sya nag aangat ng tingin kapag bumababa ako at nagpupunta ng kusina para uminom o kumain. He looked lazy and bored with his life again.

Somehow, it’s making me feel so bad. I started to overthink. Paano kung ayaw nya na sa akin? What if he feels that I’m a boring person? What if he doesn’t like chasing? What if he realized that lollipop is sweeter than my lips? What if he started to like lollipop more than me?

I can’t believe it! Pinagseselosan ko ang lollipop! The only sweet which I’m addicted to!

I went down to get something to drink. Nabuburyo na rin ako sa loob ng kwarto ko. I wanted to have fun with L again pero anong magagawa ko kung mukhang wala na naman syang pakialam sa akin at sa paligid nya?

Shit lang kasi. Bakit ko ba sya iniwasan?

Naabutan kong syang nakaupo sa high chair sa may kusina. Nakapatong ang laptop nya sa may countertop. His brows furrowed as he stares at his laptop intently. Na-miss ko tuloy ang paraan ng pagtitig nya when he wants to kiss me.

Walang tao sa paligid. Yaya Sally was watering the plants at the back garden. My father is at his office kaya kaming dalawa na lang ni L ang nasa loob ng bahay. I was waiting for him to do something pero nanatili lang syang nakaharap sa may laptop nya

I got pissed. Feeling ko ay nagsawa na sa akin si L. He doesn’t want me anymore. Hindi na sya katulad ng dati na sinusunggaban ang lahat ng pagkakataon para lang mahalikan ako.

Gusto kong maiyak! Ito na ba ang naging parusa ko dahil tinalikuran ko ang pagkain ng lollipop? Dahil lang nakatikim ako ng mas matamis ay pinabayaan ko na ang lollipop kaya pinaparusahan ako ngayon? Shit talaga! Sana ay hindi ko iyon ipinagpalit para lang sa mga labi ni L!

Ang lollipop ay hindi ako iiwanan kahit kailan!

“Won’t you go to your work?”

I was surprised when I heard L’s voice that the glass of milk almost slipped out of my hand. Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Pakiramdam ko ay sobrang tagal na nang huli kong marinig ang boses nyang parang tamad na tamad.

I put the glass on the sink before I turned around to face him. Parang gusto ko na lang ulit tumalikod nang mapagmasdan ang mukha nya.

Oh shit… I just realized that I missed him so much. I want to kiss him again. I want to feel those soft lips against mine.

Tumikhim ako nang mapatagal ang pagtitig ko sa kanya. I tried to remain calm despite the loud beating of my heart.

“I don’t have work for today.” maliit ang boses na sabi ko sabay tumungo.

“You do.” L said so I looked at him again. He looked and sounded so lazy and bored.

“Huh?”

“You do have work for today and you’re going to be late. Hurry up, Codee.”

Hindi ko maintindihan kung ano ang pinagsasabi nya. Mas marunong pa sya sa akin? Ako itong nagtatrabaho ng kunwari tapos sasabihan nya ako na may pasok ako? And I’m sure that he knows that I’m lying about my work! I just want to stay inside my room for the whole day and think of my relationship with L. Kung saan ba patungo ang nangyayari sa amin.

“Come on.” sabi ni L habang isinasara ang laptop nya. He let out a bored sigh. “I want to be alone with you.”

Noong una ay hindi ko pa alam kung anong sinasabi nya. He wants to be alone with me eh kami na nga lang dalawa ang nandito sa loob ng bahay.

But then, I noticed how his face turned so red while he’s trying to hide it by looking down at his closed laptop. Kusa akong napangiti nang maintindihan ko ang ipinupunto nya.

Shit talaga… This man is so fucking adorable.

He wants to be with me. Alone. Maybe to kiss me again. Ayaw nya na dito kami sa bahay dahil baka may makahuli na naman sa amin.

L wants me! He still wants me! Hindi nya ako ipagpapalit sa lollipop!

The next thing I knew, we were inside my car on the parking lot of the building that is owned by the Queen. We were kissing like there’s no tomorrow. Kung agresibo na sya noon, mas dumoble pa ngayon.

It’s been so long since the last time that we kissed. Kaya naman parang sabik na sabik at uhaw na uhaw si L kung halikan ako ngayon. He was sitting on the driver’s seat while I was sitting on his lap, straddling his waist. Ang mga braso nya ay nakapulupot sa bewang ko while my arms encircled around his shoulders. My hands were pulling his hairs on the back of his head.

I parted my lips which gave access for his tongue to explore the insides of mouth. He pulled me more towards his body. Magkadikit na magkadikit ang mga katawan namin na kahit ang hangin ay hindi makakadaan.

“Fuck…” he cursed against my mouth. Mas lalong nag init ang nararamdaman ko dahil sa pagmumura nya. I noticed that he’s only cursing when he’s frustrated or when he’s kissing me.

The temperature inside the car is rising. Ang init init at pinagpapawisan na ako. Kahit ang balat ni L ay sobrang init. Akala ko nga ay nilalagnat sya but I’m sure that my skin is hot as his.

He held the back of my head, his fingers tangled on my hair and he pulled my head to deepen the kiss. Hinawakan ko ang magkabilang panga nya. His jaw feels so rough and manly because of those small stubbles. Nevertheless, I caressed his jaw. Nakikiliti ang mga palad ko dahil sa munting mga buhok na papatubo doon.

He sucked my tongue and I can’t help but to moan. Ang tunog ng pagsipsip nya sa dila ko ay malakas. It sounds so erotic and hot. Mas nadagdagan pa tuloy ang init na nararamdaman ko dahil doon.

Sobrang bilis na ng tibok ng puso ko at feeling ko pa ay lalabas iyon sa lalamunan ko. These are L’s effects on me. Nakakabaliw. Nakakakilabot

Nang magsawa sa mga labi ko ay bumaba ang halik nya patungo sa leeg ko. He kissed me on my most sensitive spot of my neck again. Nakikiliti ako pero at the same time ay mas lalo pang umiinit ang nararamdaman.

His hands held the both sides of my hips firmly. He guided my hips to grind on top of him. Maiirin ang pagkakahawak nya sa balakang ko at sya na ang naggagalaw noon para sa bilis na gusto nya.

I let him control me. I let him control my hips. Kapag nasusundan ko ang gusto nyang bilis ay kusa na rin akong gumagalaw. My hands were gripping on his shoulders as I grind on top of him.

I felt how turned on he is against the soft fabric of my underwear. I was wearing a fitted skirt kaya ngayon na nakaupo ako sa harapan nya, legs wide apart while straddling his waist. Nakaaangat ang palda ko hanggang sa balakang ko dahil sa paraan ng pag upo ko.

“Fuck!” he hissed and bit the skin of my neck. Napahiyaw ako sa sakit pero napaungol din when L licked the pain away. Pagkatapos ay sinipsip nya and I’m sure that it will leave a mark tomorrow.

Mas lalo nya pang idiniin ang balakang ko sa may gitna nya. And shit… I felt how big he is. Hindi ko na kailangan tignan ang kuko nya sa kamay para malaman kung gaano kalaki at kahaba ang kanya.

He was moaning while licking my neck. Pero shit talaga! I love the way he moan! His moan was enough to make me feel hot and wet. Lalaking lalaki sa pandinig ko ang pag ungol nya.

Nang maging sunod sunod na ang pag ungol nya at bumibigat ang paghinga nya ay alam kong malapit na sya. His fingers dugged on my hips as he gripped it tightly. Mas pinabilis nya ang paggalaw ko at mas idiniin na rin ang balakang ko sa gitna nya.

“Oh, L…”

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa mga balikat nya. I grinded on top of him, hard and fast. Sunod sunod syang napamura at napakagat pa sa may leeg ko. I bit my lower lip as I felt that something is building inside my tummy.

“Tangina…” L breathe and leaned his head on the backrest of his seat. Tinitigan ko sya habang gumagalaw ako sa ibabaw nya. His eyes filled with desire. Mas lalo pa tuloy iyon naging itim sa paningin ko.

“L… I’m—” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence when I felt something gushed out of my center folds. I moaned so long and loud. Nanginig ang buong katawan ko and I’m out of control. The release made me feel so euphoric. It was an out of this world feeling.

But L isn’t finished yet. He gripped my hips while I was having my own release. Sya na ang kumontrol sa balakang ko. He made me grind on him so fast. Napahawak pa ako sa matigas nyang mga braso and after awhile, he cursed so loud and hugged me so tight.

Pareho kaming hinahingal nang matapos. He hugged me on the waist while I was hugging his head. Nakalapat ang ulo nya sa may dibdib ko kaya alam kong naririnig nya kung gaano kabilis at kalakas ang tibok ng puso ko.

I feel sticky and I’m sure that L feels the same way. Pero hindi ako umalis sa may kandungan nya. I just wanted to stay in here forever.

“I gotta admit.” I said, slightly panting. “This is more exciting than disguising myself.”

L chuckled softly. Humiwalay sya sa akin at binigyan ako ng halik sa mga labi ko. Nagtagal ang paghalik nya at nakita ko na naman ang pagnanasa sa mga mata nya.

“Fuck! You’re like a complicated code. I’m addicted to decode you, Codee.”

I smiled as I understood what he meant. He was always on his laptop kaya siguro ay may alam din sya sa encryption and decryption.

I kissed his lips before I hugged him again.

“I feel the same, L. I’m addicted to you as well.”

Chapter 17

I called Yucca to talk about what I should do next. This is so new to me. Wala akong alam kung anong dapat kong gawin dahil wala naman talaga akong alam sa pakikipag relasyon. I was just a happy girl enjoying her lollipop and computers before L came into my life.

I need Yucca’s advice. She’s an expert. Marami nang lalaki ang dumaan sa buhay nya. Walang wala nga ang mga nararanasan ko ngayon kumpara sa mga nangyari sa kanya. She’s a professional when it comes to relationships!

Yucca and I weren’t so close before. Ni hindi nga kami nagkakausap sa phone nyan. Ilag ako sa kanya. Ang tingin ko sa kanya ay isang masamang tao lalo pa at naging ganoon ang kalagayan ng King dahil sa kanya.

But because I’m naive and innocent when it comes to this, I need her help. Feeling ko ay ngayon lang ako talagang lumabas sa lungga ko. I get to experience being with a man. I get to experience being kissed. I get to experience things more than a kiss.

“Dammit, Alter! You’re always on wrong timing when you’re giving me a call!” ang pabulong pero inis na sabi sa akin ni Yucca nang sagutin nya ang tawag ko.

Imbes na mainis ay tumawa pa ako para lang asarin sya. “My bad, my bad.”

She groaned. Nakarinig ako ng kaluskos sa kabilang linya at nahuhulaan ko na lumipat sya ng pwesto. I smirked when I realized where she is. Kaya naman pala galit na galit na tinawagan ko sya ngayon.

“So? What is this all about?” she asked. Maybe she already found a better and private place para walang makarinig sa kanya. Para namang delikado ang sasabihin ko.

I paused. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magtatanong kay Yucca kung anong susunod na gagawin ko. Obviously, the seduction art worked.

My plan was to seduce L so I may be able to go to the hideout if I asked him. Pero mas lalo lang yatang wala nang pagkakataon pa para makatakas ako kay L. He was always with me! Palagi syang nakadikit at nakahawak sa akin! Giving me a kiss when no one’s is watching. Hindi na naulit ang nangyari sa kotse ko but L became more clingy.

He’s more in action. Dahil kapag nagsasalita sya ay namumula lang ang mukha nya.

“Uhm…” I started saying. Trying to grasp the words that is right to say. “Things between L and me have escalated.” sabi ko at humiling na sana ay na-gets agad iyon ni Yucca.

Pero hindi natupad ang hiling ko. “What escalated?”

Hindi ako nakapagsalita. I felt my face heated when I remembered what happened inside the car. That was my very first release in my entire life! I can’t even believe that I did that!

“You mean you did more than a kiss?” there’s an excitement in Yucca’s voice when she asked.

I bit my lower lip before answering. “Oo, eh.”

She squealed on the other line. Natatawang inilayo ko ang phone sa tenga ko. Naalog yata ang utak ko dahil sa tili nya. Para syang kinikilig na ewan. Kinilig pa sya eh naranasan nya na rin naman iyon for sure.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! You’re not a virgin anymore!” she exclaimed. Half celebrating, half grieving.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi nya. Lagpas na sya masyado sa kiss! Ganoon ba ang nangyari sa kanya? Pagkatapos ng kiss ay nag-poof na agad ang virginity nya?

“Hindi!” ang nagpa-panic kong sabi. “Hindi, Yucca! We only made out!”

Agad akong pinamulahan sa sinabi ko. Nakakainis! Wala akong planong sabihin sa kanya iyon pero grabe naman kasi sya!

“How did you do it?” she asked.

“What?” talaga bang gusto nya ng detailed?

“C’mon, Alter. Don’t be shy. I am way, way passed that stage.” proud pa nyang sabi. “So? How did you two made out?”

I groaned. Parang hindi yata ako titigilan ni Yucca kapag hindi ko sinabi sa kanya. But I need her advice!

So with cheeks flared and ears so hot and red, I told her.

“That was so hot!” was her reaction when I told her what happened. “Dry humping in the car? Damn it, Alter! Ikaw na!”

Natawa ako sa accent nya sa pagtatagalog. Pero pulang pula pa rin ang mukha ko sa kahihiyan. Mukha siguro akong tanga habang nandito ako sa loob ng kwarto ko at hindi mapakali sa kama. Shit kasi si Yucca! Sana pala hindi ko na lang sya tinawagan!

“You finally have a boyfriend!” she said. Doon nawala ang ngiti ko.

“He’s not.” I said softly. Natigilan si Yucca.

“What?”

I took a deep breath. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“What?!”

Nailayo ko ulit ang phone mula sa tenga ko. Yucca shouted like she’s surprised and doesn’t believe what I said.

“You let him kiss and dry hump you without having a label first?!” ang nag eeskandalo nyang tanong.

Napakamot ako sa likod ng tenga ko. Malay ko ba?! Wala nga kasi akong alam sa mga ganito! I’m NBSB! Yung lollipop at mga computers ko lang ang naging katuwang ko sa buhay!

“Hindi ko naman alam…”

“My God, Alter!” Yucca sounded frustrated now. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you virgins! You’re acting like the earth will run out of men! You’re acting like you’re excited having a kiss that you didn’t even bother to secure a label first! You, virgins, are unbelievable!”

“Ang O.A. mo na.” sabi ko. Medyo naiinis na. “Ikaw nga dyan nakailang lalaki na, eh!”

“It’s me, Alter! We’re different! I’m liberated. You’re innocent and a virgin! You should respect yourself! You shouldn’t let L touch you without securing a label first! You will lose something big, your virginity, if things will escalate more but L will not!”

Napanguso na lang ako at tumihaya ng higa. Napatitig ako sa kisame. I get her point and she’s right. Things didn’t start right between L and me. Nagsimula kami sa seducing game. Kumagat naman si L. At nagsunod-sunod na.

Pero hindi kami. Walang label.

“Do we really need a label?” I asked. Ang tanga ko para itanong pa iyon.

Yucca groaned frustratedly on the other line. “Virgins!” she exclaimed. Parang galit na galit sya sa mga virgin ah?! “Of course! Do you like it when they call you kissing partners? Or dry humping buddies? Or Making out mate?” she sighed. “Do you even know what kind of man is he? Do you even know his real name?”

Natigilan ako kasabay ng panlalamig ng buong katawan ko. Oo nga pala. Hindi ko pa alam ang totoong pangalan ni L. He only gave me his nickname before. Nawalan ako ng panahon to find out more about him since hindi na ako nakakapunta sa hideout. Hindi ko na nagagamit ang mga computers ko.

I didn’t know his name and yet I let him kiss me. I let him do more than a kiss. I felt stupid! Feeling ko ay ang landi landi ko. Inuna ko ang excitement at ang nararamdaman ko bago ang mas importanteng bagay!

“You like L.” Yucca stated. Ni hindi nya na ako tinanong. “Don’t try to deny it, Alter. We will not be talking right now, or even before, over the phone if you don’t feel something for him. I know that you hate me but you set aside your hatred for me just because of him.”

Hindi ko nagawang makapagsalita. She just hit a nail. Hindi ko nagawang ipagtanggol ang sarili ko.

“Just a piece of advice, Alter.” sabi ni Yucca sa gitna ng pananahimik ko. “If you really like him, then secure a label first before you let him kiss or do something more than that to you again. Save your virginity. Save your heart from a heartbreak.”

Dinig ko ang lungkot sa boses nya sa huling mga salitang sinabi nya. Then I remember the King. She really loves him. I know na sinisisi nya rin ang sarili nya dahil sa nangyari sa King namin.

But it’s too late now. I wonder how the King will react if he wakes up.

“But if you don’t like him. Then stop the seducing game that you two were playing. It’s dangerous for you, Alter. It’s dangerous for your heart. Either way, you will be the loser in the end.”

I thanked Yucca before I ended the call. Napatulala na lang ako habang nakatitig sa kisame ng kwarto ko. I felt really stupid. I’m so naive. Halatang wala akong kaalam-alam sa mga bagay na ’to.

Hindi nga naman tama na ginagawa namin ang mga bagay na ’to nang hindi kami. I wasn’t like Yucca. I wasn’t into flirting. Wala nga akong alam sa paglalandi. Not until L came into my life.

He confused me. He let me feel things I didn’t feel before. He excites me. He make me happy and frustrated and all. Basta nakakalito sa sobrang gulo.

But now, I know the name of the feelings that I’m feeling towards L.

I like L. I like him more than a lollipop.

Chapter 18

I wasn’t feeling so well the next day. Iniisip ko ang mga sinabi ni Yucca. I didn’t get enough sleep. Kulang ako sa tulog kaya masakit ang ulo ko sa paggising ko.

Sumabay ako sa breakfast dahil kinukulit ni Papa ang maid na gisingin ako. I don’t wanna cause trouble so I joined them on the table even if my head is throbbing. Pero nawala yata ang sakit ng ulo ko nang makita ko si L na kasabay din namin.

Pati ba naman sakit ng ulo ko ay gusto si L?

He didn’t say anything but his eyes were on me. Mula sa pagbaba ko sa hagdan hanggang sa pag upo ko sa katapat nyang upuan ay hindi nya inalis ang tingin sa akin. Wala naman syang sinasabi. And he looked so bored and lazy again.

His hair was still disheveled. Parang pati sa pagsusuklay ay tinamad na sya. Though he managed to dress properly, a maroon polo shirt and a khaki pants. Simple pero litaw na litaw pa rin ang kagwapuhan nya.

“You okay, hija?” my Papa asked nang makaupo na ako. Nakita nya siguro na hindi maganda ang reaksyon sa mukha ko.

“Just a headache, Papa.” I said. Narinig iyon ni Yaya Sally kaya kumuha sya ng gamot sa medicine kit. Hindi ko pa nga lang pwedeng inumin dahil wala pang laman ang tyan ko.

Yaya Sally served our food. Tahimik lang ako at palipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanila ni Papa. I was trying to read their reactions kung sinabi ba ni Yaya Sally ang nakita nya kay Papa.

But my father is acting all natural. Sure naman ako sa skills ko na kayang magbasa ng kinikilos ng isang tao. Especially if they’re a normal person. Mas madaling basahin ang taong hindi nag-train to be a secret agent. Just like Papa and Yaya Sally. Kaya alam ko na wala pang alam si Papa sa nangyayari sa amin ni L.

I could hug Yaya Sally right now!

“How are you, Codee?” Papa asked when we started eating. “Hindi na kita nakikita kahit nasa bahay ka lang naman.”

I glanced at L who’s lazily eating his food. Nakatingin sya sa pagkain nya na parang iniisip kung paano mapapabilis ang pag ubos doon without putting so much effort. Parang ayaw nyang mabawasan ang energy nya. I tried to hide my smile. Ang cute nya talaga.

But he’s aggressive when we’re kissing. Ibang iba sa tamad na L na nasa harapan ko ngayon.

“I’m on my leave, Papa. I want to take this time to rest.” sabi ko at kumain na.

“But Sally said that you went to work the other day. Hinatid ka pa daw ni Mr. L?”

My father casually asked that like he’s really curious pero grabe ang kaba ko. That was the day when we did something in my car. Napatingin ulit ako kay L pero parang wala syang pakialam sa pinag uusapan namin ni Papa at pinoproblema pa rin ang pagkain nya.

“Uhm…” palusot! Isip ng palusot, Codee! “May kinuha lang po ako.”

Grabe na ang kaba ko pero hindi ko iyon ipinahalata sa mukha ko. What’s the use of my training anyway? I was trained to conceal my emotions. Kahit na madalas ay nasa hideout lang ako to give assistance to the members kapag may mission, they still trained me things I needed to learn.

Pero hindi ko naman magamit dahil ako lang ang tracker nila!

“Mr. L, hindi ka naman pinapahirapan ng anak ko?”

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang mawala sa akin ang atensyon ni Papa. He asked L instead at dahan dahan pa ang paglingon ni L sa Papa ko. He looked at my father straight in the eyes.

“No, Mr. Vasco. I’m actually having fun with her.”

Papa looked surprised at what L had said. I pouted my lips, trying to hide my smile. Nang hindi ako magtagumpay ay itinago ko na lang ang ngiti sa pagsubo ng pagkain sa bibig ko.

Shit lang. Nawala na talaga ang sakit ng ulo ko. L said those words like it’s just a normal thing. Pero kay Papa, dahil alam nyang palagi kong binibigyan ng sakit ng ulo ang mga bodyguard ko, ay bago iyon sa pandinig nya.

“Sigurado ka, Mr. L? You can tell me the truth. Kilala ko ang anak ko.”

I frowned. Papa made it sounds like I’m a pain in the ass. Hindi naman. Palagi ko naman syang sinusunod. Ang ayoko lang talaga ay ang pagkuha nya ng bodyguard na palagi ko lang naman ding tinatakasan. Doon kami hindi nagkakasundo.

“Hundred percent sure, Mr. Vasco. Every moment with your daughter is a pure bliss.”

I kicked L’s leg under the table to stopped him from saying more. Mas lalo kasing nanlaki ang mga mata ni Papa. Natatakot ako na baka atakihin sa puso si Papa sa sobrang gulat sa mga lumalabas sa bibig ni L.

He delivered those words like he’s sleepy pero hindi ko maiwasan ang kiligin.

L looked at me lazily. Parang hindi sya nasaktan sa pagsipa ko. Hindi naman kalakasan. I only did that to give him give him a warning to stop saying more.

“You two seem close.” puna sa amin ni Papa at pareho kaming napalingon sa kanya.

“More than close, Mr. Vasco.”

I kicked him again, mas malakas kaysa sa nauna before I glared at him. He winced pero agad ding nagseryoso ang mukha. I saw his ears turned pink.

Kung ano-ano ang pinagsasabi pero magba-blush naman!

My father laughed like he’s having fun watching a rom-com movie. Ipinagpatuloy ni L ang pagkain, desidong maubos ang laman ng nasa plato nya. Napakamot na lang ako sa likod ng tenga ko.

“That’s good to hear. That’s good to hear.” natatawang sabi ni Papa sabay inom ng tubig. He then looked at me. “Clear your schedule tonight, Codee. I want you to go with me.”

I glanced at L who’s still busy eating his food before I looked at my father. “Where?”

“My business partner invited me for a party for the success of his project. And I’m planning to invest on his next project.”

“Where do I fit in that?”

“He’ll introduce his son, his heir to everyone. Ipapasa nya na kasi ang company sa anak nya so he wants everyone to meet him. Gusto kong makilala mo din sya.”

I gulped. Parang alam ko na kung saan papunta ’to.

“You’ll inherit our company soon, Codee. Kaya gusto kong ipakita sayo ang business world. Gusto kong makilala mo ang mga posibleng makakatrabaho mo once you take over.”

“I don’t like where this is going, Papa.”

Napatingin ako kay L na mukhang walang pakialam sa pinag uusapan namin. Nainis ako! I have an idea what my father is planning at alam kong may ideya na din si L kung bakit gusto nyang makilala ko ang anak ng business partner nya. But L seems uninterested… Which is not new.

“Don’t overthink, Codee.” my father said when he saw the worry on my face. “I just want you to meet people in the business world. Sa company ka na natin dapat nagtatrabaho hindi sa kung saan lang.”

I wrinkled my nose and continued eating. My father’s decision is final. Isasama nya ako at tonight’s party by hook or by crook. At syempre, sasama ako dahil ayokong magkatampuhan kami ni Papa. He took care of me more than he can. Binigay nya sa akin ang lahat. He treated me as his own daughter. Hindi nya rin ako dinidiktahan sa kung anong dapat ko gawin. He let me do the things I want. He bought me lollipops when I was a kid. Ang ayoko lang talaga ay yung paghahanap nya ng bodyguard para sa akin.

Kaya sa mga ganitong paraan ko na lang maipapakita ang gratitude ko.

“Okay…” I said softly and continued eating.

“Your dress will be sent to you later.” he looked at L. “Mr. L. I want you to come with us. Ngayon ko pa lang maipapakilala ang anak ko sa mga tao. I’m trusting you for her safety.”

Napatigil sa pagkain si L at tinignan si Papa with his serious and brooding eyes.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Vasco. I decided to protect Codee with my life on the line.”

Papa seemed satisfied with his answer. Kahit naman ako. Tumaba yata ang puso ko sa kaalaman na poprotektahan nya ako. This is the first time. I know that I can protect myself pero masarap din pala sa feeling na may taong handa akong protektahan. I didn’t feel this feeling towards my previous bodyguards. Kay L lang.

The party will start at seven in the evening. Four in the afternoon pa lang ay dumating na ang dress ko pati na rin ang mga makeup artists and stylist that my father hired. Sinabi kong hindi na kailangan dahil kaya ko namang ayusan ang sarili ko. Pero mapilit si Papa. He said he wants me to be the loveliest in the party tonight.

But I’m already loveable though.

I like the gown. It was a cream white long  sleveless gown with a classy design. There’s a sequins and beadings sa harap and a chiffon flowy skirt that reached the floor. Kung hindi ako tatalikod ay mukhang simple lang and gown but it’s actually a low bare back dress. Umabot ang cut ng dress hanggang sa pinakababa ng likod ko kaya kitang-kita ang makinis kong likod.

My makeup is simple yet elegant. Hindi na masyadong inayusan ang buhok ko since it’s already curly at may kulay pa na bagay na bagay sa balat ko.

I went down, feeling nervous and excited. Naalala ko kasi na kasama nga pala si L. I’m sure that he’ll be in a tuxedo and he’ll be the most gorgeous man in the party.

But when I finally saw him waiting for me downstairs, I realized that I was wrong.

Nahigit ko ang paghinga ko at napatitig na lang sa kanya! Most gorgeous is an understatement. Shit, he surpassed all the gods in Mount Olympus! Mahihiya sina Zeus at Apollo sa itsura nya!

He’s wearing a three piece black suit and a tie that matched the color of my gown. His black hair was down but it was parted on the sides making him look mysterious. So mysterious na parang lahat ng makakakita sa kanyang mga babae ay gusto na lang na kilalanin sya.

He took a step towards me and offered a hand to me. “Hey, lovely.” he greeted. His ears were red. “Your father is waiting for us in the car.”

Wala sa sariling tinanggap ko ang kamay nyang nakalahad. He smirked before he squeezed my hand at pinahawak ako sa may braso nya. Nagsimula kaming maglakad pero bigla syang tumigil.

“I forgot something.” he said. Sabi nya kaya nagtatakang napatingin ako sa kanya.

He stared at me intently that made my knees go weak. Nahigit ko ang paghinga ko sa biglaang pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko. I clutched my chest to calm my heart pero mas lalo lang yatang bumilis sa bawat segundong tumatagal ang titig nya sa akin.

“W-what?” I asked. Tinatanong kung anong nakalimutan nya.

He’s face turned so red kaya napaiwas sya ng tingin sa akin. Nangunot ang noo ko sa pagtataka. Maging ang tenga at ang leeg nya ay nakita kong namumula.

Napahawak si L sa batok nya at mariin na napapikit. He looked nervous. Ngayon ko lang sya nakitang ganito kaya talaga namang sobra ang naging pagtataka ko.

“What’s wrong?” tanong ko at hinarap sya pero umiwas sya ng tingin sa akin. “Anong nakalimutan mo?”

“Damn it!” he cursed as he suddenly pulled me towards him. I got surprised by his sudden action pero hindi nakaligtas sa akin ang magaspang nyang kamay na nakahawak sa likod ko. His rough hand felt so warm on my soft skin. Pero gustong gusto ko ang pakiramdam na iyon sa balat ko.

And before I could even react, his head dipped down and gave me a deep and breathtaking kiss. Agad ko namang tinugon at pinulupot ang mga braso ko sa leeg nya.

It’s a good thing that my make up artist used a matte lipstick.

Chapter 19

The party was held in a grand ballroom at a five star hotel. Marami nang mga tao nang makarating kami. I got cultured shock nang pagpasok pa lang namin sa loob ay may mga reporters nang nakabaabang para kuhaan kami ng litrato. And since that this is the first time that my father introduced me as her daughter to the public, maraming mga tanong ang ibinato sa akin.

“Are you Codee Alter Vasco? The only daughter of the CEO of Paladin Enterprise?”

I stopped and looked at the photographer to answer her question. Ngumiti ako sa kanya. She’s holding out her phone at me, probably to record my answer.

“Yes, I am.” sagot ko at halos masilaw ako sa mga click ng cameras. My father was beside me habang nasa likod ko si L. Protecting me and doing his job as my bodyguard.

Pero mapagkakamalan pa syang businessman kaysa sa pagiging bodyguard. I bet na pagtitinginan sya ng lahat lalo na ng mga babae sa party!

“This is your first appearance to the public as one of the business tycoon’s daughter. Paano mo pinaghandaan ang party na ’to? Are you nervous?”

I laughed and looked at my father. Nakangiti si Papa sa akin, ipinapaubaya nya sa akin ang pagsagot sa mga reporters. Muli akong tumingin sa nagtanong at nakangiting sumagot.

“To be honest, I don’t even know that there will be a party like this and that my Papa will introduce me to everyone. Kaninang umaga nya lang sinabi. Imagine my shock.” I laughed. “So hindi talaga ako handa.”

“Hindi ka pa handa sa lagay na ’yan?” the reporter teased and eyed me from head to foot. “You look stunning, Ms. Vasco! What more kung pinaghandaan mo?”

“You have a very lovely daughter, Mr. Vasco.” sabi ng isa pang reporter kay Papa. He smiled and held my hand.

“I know. She’s my treasure. Kaya nga ngayon ko lang pinakilala sa lahat. I want to protect her.”

“Now that she’s out in public, does that mean na welcome na kayo sa posibilidad na maligawan ang anak nyo ng mga businessmen?” hindi pa man nakakasagot si Papa ay may panibago na namang tanong.

“I heard that Mr. Aceveda will also introduced his son tonight. Is there any possibilities na may magaganap na merging ng dalawang naglalakihang company soon?”

I laughed nervously. Napatingin ako kay Papa na nakangiti lang sa reporter. Kinakabahan ako sa sagot nya kaya naghintay lang ako.

“I just want to take this chance to introduce my daughter to the business world. Good evening, everyone.”

Hinigit na ako ni Papa papasok sa venue. Nakasunod naman sa amin si L at may narinig pa akong mga reporter na nagtanong din sa kanya. But as usual, L is a man of a few words. Hindi nya sinagot ang mga tanong sa kanya at walang pinansin na kahit isa.

My father really did introduced me to everyone. Nangalay na ang panga ko sa kakangiti sa mga ipinapakilala nya sa akin na hindi ko rin naman natatandaan ang mga pangalan. I tried so hard to return their compliments. Pero ilang minuto lang ay nararamdaman ko na ang pagod.

I looked at L na nakatayo lang sa isang sulok pero nakasunod ang mga mata sa akin. I was right. He really did caught the eyes of all the women here. May nakikita akong pagtataka sa mga mata nila kung sino ba sya pero madalas ay paghanga.

I saw one girl tried to approach and talk to him. Napairap ako. Nawala na ang atensyon ko sa mga taong ipinakilala sa akin ni Papa at nanatili ang tingin ko kay L. The girl is talking to him animatedly. But L looked so bored. Sa palagay ko nga ay hindi nya pinapakinggan ang babae.

I can’t help but to smile. Ngayon lang ako natuwa sa pagiging tahimik ni L.

“Mr. Aceveda!” my father exclaimed. Iyon na yata ang host ng party but my eyes remained at L.

Nakita kong tumingin sya sa babae na napatigil sa pagsasalita. He said a few words before the girl rolled her eyes at him and left.

Good job, L.

“I want you to meet my daughter, Codee.” sabi ni Papa kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. “Codee, meet my business partner, Mr. Eric Aceveda and his son, Pierre.”

Una kong kinamayan ang lalaking mukhang ang nakakatandang Aceveda. The man still looked handsome despite his age.

“Nice to meet you po.” I said. Binalingan ko naman ang anak nyang katabi nya pero nang mapatingin ako sa mukha ay para akong sinabugan ng bomba sa sobrang gulat

It was Enki!

It was a good thing that I was trained to control and hide my emotions. Mabilis kong nahamig ang sarili ko at nginitian si Enki na seryoso lang na nakatingin sa akin. Recognition is in his eyes.

“Nice to meet you, Pierre.” I said and offered a handshake. Pinagdiinan ko ang pangalan nya. He smirked and accepted my hand.

“Same here, Codee.”

“Hahayaan namin kayo para naman makilala nyo ang isa’t isa.” sabi ni Mr. Acevedo. “You’ll be partners in business in the future.”

I wanted to say that we already know each other but it wasn’t a wise decision kaya ngumiti na lang ako. Kahit ayokong maiwan kasama si Enki, wala naman akong magagawa. Wala naman kasi kaming mapag uusapan!

“This is quite a surprise.” sabi ko nang maiwan kaming dalawa.

“I know.” he said. Nagtawag sya ng waiter at humingi ng alak. “Would you like some wine?”

Umiling ako sa alok nya. Itinuon ko ang tingin sa harap.

The hall is filled with people. Sigurado akong mga importanteng tao ito sa business world. This should be a normal thing for me but I feel uncomfortable. Feeling ko ay out of place ako. Weird. I feel like I’m more suited sitting in front of my computer screens while eating a lollipop and serves as the eye of the Red Faction.

I shouldn’t feel this. Pero habang tumatagal ay nararamdaman kong palayo na ako ng palayo sa pagiging normal na tao.

“You seem busy, Alter.” sabi ni Enki nang mai-serve sa kanya ang alak. “You rarely go to our hideout or to the training ground.”

“Huwag ako ang abalahin mo, Enki. Your Queen seems busy as well.”

He gulped down his drink and offered me his hand. “Care for a dance?”

I looked at Enki’s hand before I accepted it. Habang papunta kami sa may dancefloor ay nakita ko ang mga magulang namin na nakangiti sa amin. Some of the guests were actually looking at us too. And I bet na malalagay sa news itong pagsasayaw namin ni Enki na ’to.

Inilagay ko ang mga kamay ko sa dalawang balikat nya when we reached the dancefloor. While Enki’s hand were on my waist, iniiwasan na mapadikit ang mga daliri nya sa kamay ko. I appreciate the gesture. I didn’t know that Enki is a gentleman.

“I heard the Queen is busy with a rare drug.” I said. We started swaying our bodies slowly. Kasabay lang ng mabagal na tugtugin.

“She is.” he answered.

Napatitig ako kay Enki. This man is really handsome. Kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung may mga babae man ang tumitingin sa kanya ngayon. He’s tall and lean. Pero masyado syang sunud-sunuran sa babaeng mahal nya.

He really loves our Queen.

“Kanino nya gagamitin?” tanong ko at mahina syang napatawa.

“To whom do you think, Alter? Surely, you don’t think that it’s for Yucca, do you?”

Somehow, I got nervous. Hindi ko gusto ang ideyang pumasok sa isip ko. My heart started to beat so fast. I wanted to get away from him pero mariin ang pagkakahawak nya sa bewang ko.

“Think, Alter.” he said. “Who will be the best subject for the rare drug?”

Sunod-sunod akong huminga ng malalim pero parang may nakabara yata sa lalamunan ko. I wanted to stop thinking. Naiinis ako. Nagagalit. Pero wala akong magawa.

“Looks like you already have an idea.” sabi ni Enki nang makita ang reaksyon ko. I looked at him, anger is in my eyes.

“Gagamitin nyo sa Rook ng EL Ordre?”

Enki’s lips slowly turned into a smirk. Pinigilan ko ang maiyak dahil sa galit na nararamdaman ko. I tried hard to take control of my emotions. Nanginginig ako sa galit.

“Bingo.” Enki said like he’s enjoying my reaction.

They’re really evil. The Queen is really evil.

“He’s a human, Enkidu. Hindi sya isang guinea pig. You already captured him. Just use him as EL Ordre’s weakness. Huwag nyo na syang galawin pa!”

Hinapit nya ako palapit sa kanya I can see the anger in his eyes as he looked at me. Nilabanan ko ang tingin nya. I can’t believe that they can do that to a person!

“This is what the Queen wants, Alter. We can win this game by doing this.”

“This is cheating!” I cried.

“I don’t care! As long as we can win this game, as long as it’s the Queen’s order, then we should support her, Alter.”

I gritted my teeth. I never felt so angry in my entire life. Ngayon lang. Hindi ko na makontrol ang galit ko at halos maiyak pa ako.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagagalit ng ganito. Maraming beses ko nang nakita na pumatay ng mga tao sina Enki at Yucca pero ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganitong galit. I don’t even know the EL Ordre’s Rook personally!

Pero pakiramdam ko kasi ay hindi tama. Pakiramdam ko ay sobrang mali. They will treat him as their guinea pig. Hindi naman ako ganoong kasama para tratuhin ng ganoon ang isang tao!

I don’t want to help them. I wanted this game to end. Kung may paraan para matigil ang laro, maghahanap ako.

This game shouldn’t have started.

Chapter 20

Enki and I already stopped dancing but we remained on the dancefloor. Pareho lang kaming nakatayo sa gitna. His hands were still on my waist and I was still holding on his shoulders. I was glaring at him while he’s just looking at me with amusement in his eyes. Natutuwa kung bakit ganito ang naging reaksyon ko sa sinabi nya.

“Stop worrying, Alter, and just obey our Queen. Mananalo tayo sa larong ito dahil sa kanya.”

Mas lalong tumindi ang galit na nararamdaman ko. I don’t want to get mad at him or at the Queen. They are my comrades. Sila ang kakampi ko sa larong ito. I’m in the same color as them in this chess game. Pero hindi ko na nagugustuhan ang paraan ng paglalaro nila.

“And this is your way to win this game? By being a monster?”

Napasipol si Enki sa sinabi ko bago mahinang tumawa. “Wait a minute, Alter. We’re not the enemies. We’re on the same team!”

“I know, Enki! But what you’re doing is so wrong! You shouldn’t use him like that! Tao sya at buhay pa! Huwag nyo syang ituring na isang hayop!” I grip his shoulders. “Dahil lang wala syang magawa ay sasamantalahin nyo na?

“Ano ba talaga ang problema mo?” naiinis nang tanong ni Enki sa akin. “You’ve already seen us killed people countless of times! You even helped, right? Naging mata ka namin sa mga misyon!”

“But those people were different! They’re evil! They sell drugs. They’re human traffickers! Iba ang Rook ng EL Ordre sa mga iyon! Iba ang gagawin nyo sa kanya! You’re treating him like a guinea pig!”

Mahina ang naging sagutan namin pero may diin ang bawat mga salita. I want Enki to understand my point. Pero parang nakikipag usap lang ako sa isang poste. He will do anything for Queen. Lahat ng gusto noon ay gagawin nya nang walang pag aalinlangan. It’s no use talking to him about this matter. It’s no use trying to change his mind.

“Are we seriously having this argument because you’re worried for that Rook?” tanong ni Enki pagkaraan. His face became serious. “What, Alter? Magiging traydor ka na din ba?”

Naiinis na itinulak ko sya palayo sa akin pero mahigpit ang pagkakahawak nya sa bewang ko kaya hindi ako nakalayo sa kanya. Wala akong nagawa kundi ang tingnan na lang sya ng masama. Maging sya ay masama na rin ang tingin sa akin.

“This is our only chance to win, Alter. Don’t blow this up.” he said.

“Mali pa rin ang ginagawa nyo.”

“You’re getting soft, Alter. Back then, sinusunod mo lang ang utos ng Queen nang walang sinasabi. You’ve changed.”

I gritted my teeth. “No, Enkidu. Sa ating dalawa, ikaw ang sumusunod sa Queen nang walang sinasabi. I decided to speak up this time ’cause what you are doing is wrong. I helped you take the EL Ordre’s Rook from them. But this? Hindi ko na kayo kaya pang suportahan.”

“So? You’ll betray us, then?” Enki scoff. “What changed, Alter? Is it because of your man?”

Nanlamig yata ang buong katawan ko sa sinabi nya. I got scared. Kinabahan ako pero hindi ko pinahalata. I didn’t show any emotions kahit pa sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko dahil sa sobrang kaba.

“You think I wouldn’t know?” may tinignan sya sa likod ko at nang muli akong tignan ay nakangisi na. “He’s here, right? Yung lalaking kanina pa nakatitig ng masama sa akin. If looks could kill, I’ll be dead by now.”

Pinigilan ko ang lumingon sa likod at hanapin si L. I could feel his intense stare on my back. Pero hindi ko sya tinignan. I don’t what to give Enki the reaction that he wanted to see.

“What will happen if the Queen will know about him?”

Mas humigpit ang kapit ko sa mga balikat nya at alam kong naramdaman nya iyon. He smirked. Hinahanapan nya ako ng reaksyon kanina pa at masaya syang nakakita na sya ng kahit kaunti mula sa akin.

Shit… I’m so mad. Hindi ko na makontrol ang galit ko.

I remained silent. Nawala ang pagiging madaldal ko. Nag-back fire yata sa akin ang lahat ng mga pang aasar ko kay Enki noon. Nawalan ako ng masasabi.

I wanted to shout. To throw a fit. Pero wala akong magawa kundi ang bigyan ng masamang tingin si Enki.

“Leave him alone.” ang mahina pero mariin kong sabi.

“Oh!” Enki exclaimed and laughed. “You love him?”

“Wala kang pakialam.”

Imbes na ma-offend ay mas lalong natawa si Enki. Alam kong hindi naman sya masaya. Inaasar nya lang ako and it actually pissed me off. The table has turned. Ako na ngayon ang inaasar nya.

“The Queen will give us a mission soon, Alter. Don’t give her any problems.”

Muli syang tumingin sa likod ko at napangisi. I know that he’s looking at L. Bumalik ang tingin nya sa akin. He gave me a smile which weirded me so much.

Nagulat ako nang hapitin nya ako palapit sa kanya. Naitukod ko ang dalawang mga kamay ko sa dibdib nya para magbigay ng distansya pero hindi nya ako hinayaan. He crouched down and whispered something to my ears.

“By the way, the King is finally awake.”

Hindi ko alam pero ang unang pumasok sa isip ko nang marinig ko ang sinabi nya ay si Yucca. She’ll be delighted about this news pero alam kong mas masasaktan din sya.

’Cause she betrayed him.

Before I can ask about the King, may kumagat na kamay sa braso ko at hinila ako palayo kay Enki. Sumubsob ako sa matigas na dibdib ng isang lalaki. I smelled the familar cologne kaya mabilis kong nalaman kung sino sya.

“L!” I exclaimed while looking at him with wide eyes. Hindi ko inaasahan ang pagsulpot nya.

Kahit na nagsuot ako ng mataas na heels ay mas matangkad pa rin si L sa akin. Kapantay lang ng mga labi nya ang paningin ko.

He looked so serious while looking at Enki na mukhang seryoso na rin. L possessively wrapped his arms on my waist habang nakasubsob pa rin ako sa dibdib nya.

“That’s enough dancing.” malalim ang boses na sabi nya. Sinubukan kong humarap para makita ang reaksyon ni Enki. Saglit lang syang tumango.

“I’ll hand her over to you, then.” Enki looked at me. “See you soon, Codee.”

Tinanguan ko lang sya at naglakad na sya palayo sa amin. Mabilis akong iniharap ni L sa kanya at sinuri ang buong katawan ko.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

I looked at L and I saw worries in his eyes. He’s eyeing my body for a possible wound. Nang wala syang makita ay saka nya ako tinignan sa mga mata.

I smiled at him. “Please, get me out of here.”

I didn’t have to ask him twice dahil mabilis nya akong hinila palayo sa dancefloor. People are greeting me on the way pero wala akong binati pabalik kahit isa. Hindi ko na rin nagawang magpaalam kay Papa. Sumusunod lang ako kay L kahit na hindi ko alam kung saan kami papunta.

I just wanted out. It feels so suffocating.

He guided me on the terrace of the hotel. Agad akong kumuha nang malalim na paghinga nang makarating doon. The wind is blowing at bahagya akong nilamig. Litaw na litaw ba naman kasi ang buong balat ko sa likod.

Pero naramdaman ko ang pagpatong ni L ng coat nya sa akin. He fixed it so that it will shield my body against the cold wind. Napangiti ako. L is a gentleman too.

My favorite gentleman.

“Thank you.” I said softly and looked at the garden below.

He sighed as he hugged me from the back. Napasandal ako sa dibdib nya at napapikit na lang.

“I was planning of taking you away from him the moment your father left you with him but I don’t wanna be rude.”

Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay nyang magkasiklop sa may tyan ko. “It’s okay…”

“I wanted to take you away from him when you went to the dancefloor. Pero mukhang seryoso ang pinag uusapan nyo.” he sighed and hugged me tighter. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

He knows. He knows that I was getting uncomfortable with Enki earlier thus he apologized. Inalis ko ang magkasiklop nyang mga kamay at hinarap sya. I touched his cheeks. Sya naman ngayon ang napapikit at dinama ang palad kong nakahawak sa pisngi nya.

“It’s okay…” I softly said. “Thank you for taking me away from him.”

Dumilat sya. He held my cheeks as well and I can’t help but to close my eyes to feel his warm hands. Gustong gusto ko talaga ang pakiramdam na malapit sya sa akin. I really like the feeling when he’s touching me.

Kanina nang banggitin ni Enki ang tungkol kay L ay sobra akong kinabahan. I never felt that nervous before. Lalo pa noong nabanggit ni Enki kung anong magagawa ng Queen kapag nalaman nya ang tungkol kay L.

And that’s when I realized how important L is to me.

Naramdaman ko na lang ang paglapat ng mga labi nya sa akin habang nakapikit ako. I sighed and held him on his arms for a support. Nawala ang mga iniisip ko dahil sa lambot at init ng mga labi nya.

Magkalapat lang ang mga labi namin at hindi gumagalaw. Like we just wanted to feel how perfect our lips for each other. But this is enough. Sapat na ito para mawala ang agam-agam sa puso ko.

Nang matapos ang halik ay pinagdikit nya ang mga noo namin. Bumalik ang mga iniisip ko kanina pero mas lumala. Muli kong naalala ang mga sinabi sa akin ni Yucca.

“L…” I called him. He kissed the tip of my nose.

“Hm?”

“What’s your real name?”

I just can’t believe that up until now, hindi ko pa rin alam ang pangalan nya. I didn’t know the name of the man that I like so much!

Naghintay ako. Hinahanda ko na ang sarili in case na hindi nya masabi sa akin. I’ll understand. I will try to understand. Kahit na ayoko ay susubukan kong intindihin.

“Maximilian… Elias.”

I smiled when he finally told me his name. Ilang araw din akong hindi nakatulog sa kaiisip kung ano talagang pangalan nya. I’m glad na sinabi nya.

Ngayon, alam ko nang may nagbago nga sa aming dalawa. Hindi nya sasabihin ang pangalan nya kung katulad pa rin kami noon.

And I decided to protect him too. Hindi ko hahayaan na may mangyari sa kanya dahil sa kabaliwan ng Queen namin.

Chapter 21

Now that L already told me his real name, I feel like our relationship moves one step up. Nag-upgrade ang kung ano mang meron kami. From kissing partners, naging kissing-partners-na-alam-ang-totoong-pangalan-ng-isa’t-isa na kami.

And it actually makes me happy. I feel like L is willing to share his life with me. Hindi katulad noon na ang mga tanong ko ay sinasagot nya rin ng mga tanong. O hindi kaya ay hindi nya talaga sasagutin.

But I can’t still brag to Yucca. Ang gusto nya ay magkaroon muna kami ng label ni L bago ko sya hayaang halikan ulit ako. But we kissed again that night at the party. Gusto ko rin naman na magkaroon ng pangalan ang kung ano mang meron kami pero hindi ko lang mapigilan na halikan pabalik si L.

Masarap ang mga labi nya kaysa sa lollipop. And now I’m addicted.

But I’m worried. I really like L. But then, there’s the Red Faction, the game, and the Queen. Ayoko namang mapasok sa gulong ito si L.

“So your nickname came from your surname Elias?” I asked L.

We were inside my car while watching some romantic-action movie. The protagonist is a retired agent pero something happened kaya sya nagbalik sa serbisyo. Then he met a girl who kidnapped his father and used him as a bait para sundin ang mga iuutos nya. And then they fell inlove.

Napatingin ako sa labas. The scenery is beautiful. We were at some highlands at kitang kita ang mga city lights sa baba. But I didn’t bother to go outside the car. I am enjoying my time here with L.

Maingat akong sumipsip sa lollipop na kinakain ko para hindi makagawa ng ingay. Naalala ko kasi na ayaw na ayaw ni L na maririnig ang pagsipsip ko doon. I laughed silently. Madumi lang syang mag isip eh!

“Yes.” ang simpleng sagot nya sa tanong ko. Nakatingin lang sya sa laptop na nakapatong sa dashboard at tutok na tutok sa panonood.

What’s with men and action movies?

“Edi lahat ng mga ninuno mo, L din ang palayaw?”

“No. Ako lang. Maximilian is too long for a name.” sabi nyang hindi pa rin tumitingin sa akin.

I wrinkled my nose. He sounds lazy while talking but at least he’s answering my question. Kahit na maikli.

Is he really like this though? Mukhang tamad na tamad sa buhay. But I rarely see him sleeping. Baka ayaw nya lang talagang ma-engage sa mga walang kwentang bagay.

Pero hindi naman ako walang kwenta eh.

L is too engrossed with the movie. Nakakunot pa ang noo nya habang nakatitig sa palabas. I pouted. Maingay akong sumipsip sa lollipop at agad ang pagbaling nya sa akin.

Success!

I innocently eat my lollipop. Hindi ko na nilagyan ng tunog ang pagsipsip ko ngayong nakatingin na sya sa akin. Magkasalubong ang mga kilay nya pero maya-maya ay inirapan na ako.

I laughed. So adorable!

“I should call you Maxi, then.” I said nang balingan nya ulit ang palabas. But he’s distracted now dahil ibinalik nya ang tingin nya sa akin.

“What?”

“Tatawagin na kitang Maxi. Short for Maximilian.”

Ilang sandali akong tinitigan ng itim nyang mga mata. I beamed at him but he looked serious. Pinag iisipan nya siguro kung tao pa ba ako o tuluyan nang naging alien.

Nagpapapansin lang naman ako sa kanya. Kanina pa kasi sya nanonood at hindi ako pinapansin. I’m not fond of action movies. Palagi ko namang napapanood through CCTV ang mga ka-team ko sa Red Faction kung paano sila pumatay. Parang araw-araw na rin akong nakakanood dahil doon. Sawang-sawa na ako.

And I’m more interesting than the movie!

“Just call me L.”

“Why? I prefer Maxi, though.”

He frowned. Hindi nya ako pinansin at muling binalingan ang movie. The protagonist and the female lead is talking pero nauwi sa halikan. Nakagat ko ang loob ng pisngi ko sa pagpipigil na gumawa ng reaksyon.

Now this is awkward.

“Maxi, pwedeng huminga.” sabi ko. Hindi pa rin kasi nya inaalis yung tingin nya sa laptop

The scene got so steamy. Napakamot tuloy ako sa likod ng tenga ko. Ang awkward talaga. Dati naman kapag mag isa akong nanonood ng palabas at may kissing scene ay okay naman. Pero nakakailang pala kapag may kasama.

Napaisip tuloy ako. Ganito rin ba kaya kaming ka-hot ni L kapag naghahalikan kami? Ano kaya ang itsura namin while when doing that? Do I look as inviting as the female lead when I’m kissing L?

The girl in the movie moaned and shit, ilang na ilang na talaga ako! Parang biglang uminit sa loob ng kotse! Sobrang awkward kaya sinubukan kong alisin ang tensyon sa akin. Sa akin lang ’cause L seems unaffected.

“Si Maxi nanonood ng porn.”

Doon na napatingin sa akin si L. I gulped when I saw how serious he is. Walang halong pagbibiro sa mga mata nya. Shit lang. Napikon ko yata.

“I told you to call me L.”

“Maxi.” asar ko. Ayaw pang tumigil ng bibig ko! Mukhang naaasar na talaga ang lalaki sa tabi ko!

“Sinabi kong tawagin mo akong L.”

Shit! Nagtagalog na! Pero hindi pa rin ako natinag. Tinanggal ko ang lollipop sa bibig ko para mas asarin pa sya.

“Maxi. Maxi. Maxi. Max—”

Natigil ang pang aasar ko nang hinila nya ang isang braso ko palapit sa kanya habang ang isang kamay nya ay hinawakan ang batok ko. He pulled me for a kiss. Talaga namang napatigil nya ako sa pagsasalita.

I felt his tongue licked my lips. I was too stunned to react. Natapos nyang ubusin ang tamis ng lollipop sa mga labi ko pero nakatulala pa rin ako. His lips left mine pero hindi naman sya tuluyang lumayo sa akin.

“I’m going to kiss you if you call me Maxi again.”

Wala sa sariling napatingin ako sa kanya. Parang may maganda syang sinabi but my mind is not processing the words he had said. Nandoon pa din ang isip ko sa paghalik nya. Nabitin kaya medyo nanghihinayang din.

Ang bilis naman kasi nyang lumayo. Tapos binigla pa ako! Wala na akong time mag isip!

“Ano?” I asked, urging him to repeat the words he said.

“I’m going to kiss you if you call me Maxi again.”

He said it like he’s giving me a warning pero napangiti ako. Aba! Pabor pa nga sa akin iyon! Doesn’t he know how to properly warn someone?

Pero wala pa rin kaming label!

He frowned when he saw my smile. Shit lang si L! Para-paraan! Hindi na lang sabihin ng diretso na nainggit sya sa kissing scene ng pinapanood nya!

But since I am a kind, sexy and pretty girl, pagbibigyan ko sya.

“Maxi.” I said.

Mukhang hindi nya inaasahan ang sinabi ko kaya napatitig pa sya sa akin.

“Maxi.” I said again and gave him a smile. “Now you owe me two kisses.”

He finally smiled and chuckled softly. Shit lang! Ang gwapo-gwapo nya kapag ngumingiti! He still looks handsome when he’s serious, lazy or emotionless but his smiling face is so rare kaya gwapong-gwapo talaga ako sa kanya kapag nakikita ko syang nakangiti.

He cupped my face and gave me a kiss. Nakangiti pa ako nang maglapat ang mga labi namin. I encircled my arms around his neck and accepted his kiss.

The kiss is so gentle. His lips still feels so soft. Bumigat ang talukap ng mga mata ko at kusa na akong napapikit. L closed his eyes the same time as mine as he angled his head to have a better access for my lips.

It feels heaven. Para akong nakalutang. This is always what I’m feeling whenever we kiss. Feeling ko ay palaging first time kapag naghahalikan kami. His lips gives me much more feelings everytime.

Gumalaw ang mga labi nya and I answered his kiss. I parted my lips at kinuha nya ang pagkakataon na iyon para laliman pa ang halik. Naging mapaghanap ang mga labi nya. Pumaloob sa buhok nya ang mga daliri ko at bahagyang napasabunot doon.

“Part your lips more, Codee.” bulong nya sa mga labi ko at ginawa ko ang sinabi nya.

His tongue delved inside my mouth. Halos sabay kaming napaungol nang magtagpo ang mga dila namin. He tasted so sweet. Hinapit ko pa sya palapit sa akin dahil ayokong maputol ang paghahalikan namin.

I felt his one hand on the back of my head habang ang isa ay nasa likod ko. Hinila nya pa ako palapit sa kanya. Like our distance isn’t enough. Kaya naman gumalaw ako at umupo sa kandungan nya paharap sa kanya without breaking our kiss. I moaned when he bit my lower lip.

Saglit na iniwan ng mga labi nya ang mga labi ko para halikan ang pisngi ko. His lips kissed mine again pero saglit lang dahil bumaba ang mga halik nya sa leeg ko. He found my sensitive spot and gave it we kisses.

“God, this is so wrong.” I murmured.

I remembered what Yucca had told me. Simula nang sinabi nya akin iyon ay hindi na nawala sa isip ko. That we should have a label first. Pero everytime na maghahalikan kami ni L, parang nawawalan ako ng pakialam sa kung ano man ang meron kami.

But Yucca is right. I will be the loser in the end kung hanggang ganito lang kami. I know, with every passing day, that my feelings for L is growing stronger. I’m so new in this pero totoo nga na hindi dapat ako nakikipaghalikan sa hindi ko boyfriend!

“Why wrong?” L asked while nipping the skin of my neck.

“Oh…” hindi ko na napigilan ang mapaungol. I bit my lower lip before I speak. “You’re… Y-you’re not my boyfriend. We shouldn’t d-do this.”

He inhaled my scent bago nya ikiniskis ang ilong sa kahabaan ng leeg ko. I opened my mouth to breathe dahil kinakapos na ako ng hininga at kulang ang nakukuha kong hangin mula sa ilong ko.

“Then I’m your boyfriend from now on.” L kissed my jaw before he captured my lips again.

Kahit na gustong-gusto ko ang mga halik nya ay pinigilan ko nang sagutin iyon. It took all my willpower to pushed him away from me. Nagawa ko naman pero nang makita ang itsura ni L ay parang gusto kong halikan na lang sya sa buong magdamag.

Shit talaga! He looked so hot! Desire is written all over his face! His face shows how much he wanted me!

Pero pinigilan ko ang nararamdaman ko. May mas importante pang bagay na dapat kong isipin!

“Ganoon na lang ’yon? Wala nang ligaw-ligaw?” I asked. Mabuti at naalala ko pa ang sinabi nya kanina.

But L looked like he forgot what he had said earlier. Gusto ko tuloy magtampo. What? Did he just said it in spun of a moment? Sinabi nya lang iyon dahil gusto nya lang ako halikan? Mga labi ko lang ba ang gusto nya sa akin?

Shit! Yucca is right! Ako ang magiging talunan sa huli! ’Cause I really like L so much as of the moment!

Pero mukhang naalala na ni L ang sinabi nya kanina. He looked away though. Sasama na talaga sana ang loob ko sa kanya kung hindi ko lang nakita ang pamumula ng tenga nya. At first it was only his ears but then it spread down to his neck hanggang sa ang buong mukha nya na ang namumula ngayon.

I was surprised! Bakit namumula na naman ang isang ’to?!

“Can’t we just be official?” he asked.

“Ang swerte mo naman!” sabi ko. “You’ll be my first boyfriend kaya iparanas mo man lang sana sa akin kung paano ang maligawan!”

He murmured something. Kahit na magkalapit ang mga katawan namin ay hindi ko pa rin marinig.

“What?” I asked. He murmured again but I still haven’t heard it. “Say it louder, L. Hindi ko marinig.”

“Hindi ako marunong manligaw.” ang mahinang mahina nyang sabi bago mas namula ang mukha nya. It was so red that it made me scared na baka bigla syang sumabog.

Ilang sandali bago naproseso ng utak ko ang sinabi nya at malakas akong napatawa. L glared at me but he’s still blushing that it made him looked so adorable kaya mas natawa lang ako.

“Stop laughing!” he hissed at me. Sinubukan kong pigilan ang pagtawa dahil mukhang naiinis na sya. But I laughed again.

“I can’t believe it!” I said while laughing. “You did so many things to me pero hindi ka marunong manligaw?!”

“Damn it.” he cursed under his breath. Now, he’s frustrated. Ang cute-cute nya talaga kaya mas gusto ko pa ang asarin sya.

I grinded on top of him. Nanlalaki ang mga mata nya nang tumingin sa akin. I grinded again, more harder and longer this time kaya napahawak na sya sa bewang ko para patigilan ako.

“The hell are you doing?” ang nagpipigil nyang sabi.

I smirked. “You already did this.” I said and grinded again. “Pero hindi ka pala marunong manligaw!”

“Fuck! Stop grinding, Codee!”

Pero pasaway ako. I grind and grind hanggang sa bumigat na ang paghinga nya. I can feel something is slowly bulging inside his pants. He cursed as he threw his head back on the backrest of his seat. Mariin syang napapikit at napamura.

“What, L? You like this?” I asked seductively. Ginaya ko ang tanong nya sa akin noon.

I don’t wanna stop. Shit, it just feel so good. Ang plano ko lang sana ay asarin nya but seeing his reaction, ginanahan ako. He looked so hot holding himself back like that. Hindi ko na rin magawang tumigil dahil nag iinit na rin ang pakiramdam ko

“Fuck, Codee. I just want to kiss you.” ang hinihingal nyang sabi.

Wala rin sa plano ko ang gawin ito. But I just can’t believe that he knew how to dry hump pero hindi naman pala marunong manligaw!

I got excited. Does this mean that I’m his first girlfriend?!

Napatili ako nang mabilis na kumilos si L. Namalayan ko na lang na nagpalit na kami ng pwesto. Nasa ilalim nya ako at nasa ibabaw ko sya. He placed himself in between me. He reclined the seat at medyo nakahiga na ako ngayon.

He grinded on top of me and I moaned. Mas lalo pa nyang idiniin ang sarili nya sa akin. Parehong mabibigat na ang mga paghinga namin. We’re eyes to eyes and I’m sure that we’re mirroring the same emotions.

Desire. Want.

He grinded at sinabayan ko sya. I bit my lower lip. It wasn’t enough. May kulang pa. Hindi sapat. Ayoko ng ganito lang.

Hinapit ko sya palapit sa akin at agad syang sumubsob sa leeg ko.

“More, L.” I moaned. “I want more.”

He cursed. Mabilis nyang tinanggal sa pagkakabutones ang pantalon ko at ibinaba iyon leaving my undies. I unbuckled his belt pero nanginginig ang mga kamay ko kaya sya na ang gumawa. He pulled down his pants hanggang sa mga tuhod nya. Leaving only his boxers.

Muli syang pumwesto sa gitna ko at hinalikan ako. I tried to kiss him back but when he grind, napahiwalay ang mga labi ko sa kanya.

I can’t breathe. Hinihingal ako at sobrang lakas pa ng tibok ng puso ko.

Tanging mga maninipis na saplot na lang ang naghihiwalay sa mga katawan namin. I felt his big and long shaft. It was hard. Mas lalong nag init ang pakiramdam ko at ipinulupot ko ang mga binti ko sa bewang nya para mas idiin nya pa ang kanya sa akin.

“Fuck…”

“L…”

We both moaned when we grinded together. My panties were soaking wet. Shit, ngayon lang yata nangyari ito sa akin!

L buried his face on the shallow space between my neck and shoulders. I can feel his ragged breath against my skin. Patuloy sya sa paggalaw sa ibabaw ko. Nagpapakawala sya ng mumunting ungol na mas nagpadagdag pa sa init na nararamdaman ko.

I bit my lower lip. Something is building inside me. I know now what it is. I urged L to make it harder and faster. Sinasabayan ko na ang paggalaw nya pero mas mabilis ang kilos ko.

“C’mon, L. Make it fast, please.”

He held my hips and pinned me in place. Naging masunurin sya at ginawa ang sinabi ko with his face still buried on my neck. I moaned when he licked the most sensitive part of my neck.

“Oh, L!”

“Codee…”

He grinded, hard and fast. Parang syang may hinahabol. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagkalalaki nya sa gitna ko. It was hard and hot. It felt so big.

“Holy—” shit!

Niyakap ko sya ng mahigpit nang manginig ang katawan ko. I moaned so loud. Nabingi ako at wala nang nadama kundi ang sarap. I felt lightheaded and weak.

Bumangon si L at tinitigan ako. He keeps on grinding at mas bumilis pa ang galaw nya. Mas agresibo. Mas humigpit din ang pagkakakapit nya sa balakang ko. Idiniin pa nya ang sarili nya sa akin until he exploded and shivered on top of me.

“Tang… ina.”

Kapwa kami hiningal nang muli nyang ibinaon ang mukha sa leeg ko. Iyon yata ang favorite part nya ng katawan ko. I hugged him and combed his hair with my fingers.

“I like you so damn much.” he said. Ilang sandali akong napatigil sa pagsusuklay ng buhok nya bago napangiti.

“I like you so damn much too. Sinasagot na din kita.”

Chapter 22

We finally have a label. L is now officially my boyfriend! Hindi na ako NBSB!

He’s my first boyfriend so I have no idea how to handle a relationship. I don’t know what I should do. I don’t know what to expect. Wala akong kaalam-alam kung paano ang maging isang girlfriend.

The article that I’m currently reading says that I should express my feelings more often by actions. ’Cause actions speak louder than words. Gusto ko na lang ibato ang laptop ko. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ie-express ang feelings ko that’s why I’m researching!

What? Should I cook for him? Pero hindi ako marunong magluto! Mas marami pa yata ang mga oras na ginugol ko nang nakaharap ako saga computers ko kaysa ang lumabas sa kwarto ko. Madaldal ako pero wala naman akong palaging nakakausap! Kaya kapag may mga missions kami ay si Enki na lang ang kinakawawa ko dahil sa kadaldalan ko.

That’s why I got surprised when L said that he likes me so damn much. I mean, I know that I’m pretty, sexy and everything that a man could ask for. Pero magkaibang-magkaiba ang personality namin ni L. I’m talkative while he’s silent. I’m hyper pero sya ay parang palaging tinatamad. I’m jolly while he’s serious.

But I’m still thankful na may naging bunga ang seducing art ko sa kanya. I thought that I was the only one. But L likes me too. So damn much.

Pwede na kaming maghalikan nang maghalikan!

My reverie got disturbed when my phone rang. It was Enki who’s calling me. Bigla akong kinabahan. I got the feeling na hindi maganda ang maririnig ko kapag sinagot ko ang tawag.

Mariin kong naipikit ang mga mata ko. I was still having fun. Ayoko pang matapos iyon. And L and I were just starting with our relationship. Wala pa nga kaming nagagawang matino nang magkasama. Hindi pa kami nakakapag-date. I still wanna spend time with him. I want to experience having a normal life and be a normal person with a normal relationship.

Feeling ko, kapag sinagot ko ang tawag, ay mawawalan na ako ng pag asang magawa ang mga bagay na gusto ko nang kasama si L.

But I can’t ignore Enki’s call. Sigurado ako na tungkol sa Queen ang sasabihin nya kaya sya tumawag. We’re not friends para pag usapan ang ibang bagay. Kaya nasisiguro ko na may sasabihin sya about sa Queen at hindi ko pwedeng balewalain.

Or else, ipapakain nila ako kay Nergal. Kumusta na kaya ang malaking pusa na iyon?

I sighed before I decided to take the call. Hindi ko rin naman ito maiiwasan habang buhay. I am part of Red Faction. I am their Knight.

“Enki!” I greeted him when I answered the call . “Or Pierre? Sino ang tumatawag?”

Ilang sandali bago sumagot si Enki. At sa sandaling iyon ay nagawa kong kunin ang lollipop na nasa drawer ng bedside table ko.

“It’s Enkidu.” was his short answer. So it’s about the Queen, huh?

Inalis ko ang wrapper ng lollipop. I realized that I got stressed when I answered Enki’s call. Ayoko kasi syang kausapin. Ayokong marinig ang sasabihin nya.

Sinipsip ko ang lollipop at sure akong narinig ni Enki iyon sa kabilang linya. Pero wala akong pakialam. I want to get rid of the anxiety that I’m feeling. Isa pa, hindi naman sya si L.

Hindi naman ganito ang reaksiyon ko dati sa tuwing tumatawag sya. Minsan pa nga ay excited pa ako ’cause his call means that I’ll do something using my computers again. Hindi ako mabo-bored.

But L came into the picture and everything changed. Natatakot akong magkainteres sa kanya ang Queen. I’m scared that she will use L as my weakness para magawa ko ang lahat ng mga gusto nya. That’s how the Queen works. She’s plays dirty and very manipulative.

“Anong sa atin?” tanong ko kay Enki. I tried to make my voice sounds casual.

“The Queen has a mission for you.” ang diretso at walang paligoy-ligoy na sabi nya.

I knew it.

Mas lalo tuloy akong na-stress. Kinakagat-kagat ko na ang candy ng lollipop sa loob ng bibig ko. Enki surely hears everything I’m doing in my mouth. Hindi ko kasi inilayo ang phone sa bibig ko.

“She’s expecting you at the hideout later to discuss the details.” sabi ni Enki. My head started throbbing.

“I can’t, Enki.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” dinig ko ang pagtataka sa boses nya dahil sa sinabi ko.

“I can’t. Hindi ko matakasan ang bodyguard ko.”

Silence. Hindi sya nagsalita. I know it’s surprising. Alam nila na palagi kong natatakasan ang mga bodyguard ko. But L is like a pro in his work. Magaling sya. Kaya nga ako naghanap ng mga paraan para matakasan sya. But it’s like he knows everything. Palagi nya akong nahuhuli. At sa huli nga ay nagustuhan ko na sya.

“Stop shitting on me.” ang walang emosyon nyang sabi.

I rolled my eyes. “I am not shitting on you, Enki. I swear, I did everything para matakasan sya. Remember the order from the Queen na hindi ko nagawa? I told you what happened, right? It was because of my bodyguard! Nakabantay sya palagi sa akin. He’s so good with his job!”

And it’s true, minus the fact that I like L, he’s really good at his job. Kaya siguro inirekomenda sya ng kakilala ni Papa. They wouldn’t recommend him if he’s not good dahil mapapahiya lang sila. L didn’t disappoint them though.

“Should I kill him then?” tanong ni Enki na ikinagulat ko.

“No!” Napatikhim ako. I don’t want to give Enki any suspicion. “I just… I’ll find a way para matakasan sya.”

“Paghihintayin mo na naman ang Queen?”

I gritted my teeth. Nagsasawa na ako sa kaka-Queen nya! He’s always thinking about her Queen! Wala syang pakialam sa iba basta para sa babaeng mahal nya!

Ganoon ba talaga ang pag ibig? Magiging desperado para sa kapakanan ng taong minamahal? You’ll do anything for their sake that you won’t even care about other people?

It sounds… Scary. Magiging katulad nya rin ba ako kapag malalim na ang pagkakahulog ko kay L? I don’t want to be like Enki though.

“I’ll find a way, Enki. I’ll obey our Queen this time.” ang sabi ko na lang. Kahit na hindi ko alam kung paano matatakasan si L para makapunta sa hideout namin.

“No. Hindi ako papayag na paghintayin mo na naman sya.” Enki said and I cursed under my breath. “I’ll pick you up.”

Natigilan ako. May nakakatakot yata akong narinig mula sa kanya. Tuluyan nang natanggal sa stick ang candy ng lollipop ko. Inalis ko na iyon sa bibig ko and chewed on the candy.

“Ano?” I asked.

“I’ll pick you up.” ulit nya at gusto ko na syang saktan.

“What?! Are you nuts?! No! I won’t let you, Enki!”

“And you won’t let the Queen wait for you again, Alter! Kaya susunduin na lang kita.” he said with finality.

“Shit, Enki—”

“I’ll be there in an hour. Just get ready.” sabi nya at binabaan na ako ng tawag.

Shit lang! Shit talaga! Napaka lang ng lalaking iyon! Nakakainis! Gusto kong kalbuhin sya!

I tried to call Enki again para hindi na sya patuluyin sa binabalak nya but he’s not answering the call. I texted him but he didn’t reply. Mukhang tototohanin nya nga ang sinabi nya.

Shit! Naiinis talaga ako! Just because of his love for the Queen ay papahirapan nya ako! He’s like the Queen’s dog!

Wala na akong nagawa. Nag ayos na lang ako habang nagngingitngit sa galit kay Enki. Damn it! Wala akong magawa! I feel so useless! I feel so powerless!

But why?! I am one of the higher pieces. I can make the pawns obey my order. Pero wala akong magawa dahil mas mataas sa akin sina Enki at ang Queen. Enki is the Queen’s Bishop afterall.

Pagbaba ko ay nakita ko sa living roon si L na abala na naman sa laptop nya. Natigilan ako. Now this is where the problem begins! Sure akong hindi ako paaalisin ni L nang hindi sya kasama!

“Where are you going?” L asked nang dumaan ako sa harapan nya. Ang akala ko ay hindi nya ako mapapansin ’cause he looked so engrossed with whatever he’s doing with his laptop. Pero nag angat sya ng tingin sa akin.

He eyed me from head to foot. Busy ako sa kaiisip ng maidadahilan ko kaya wala na akong panahon para mailang.

“I asked you, Codee. Where are you going?” L asked again nang may ilang sandali akong hindi nakaimik.

“Sa… Trabaho ko.” Shit lang! Mali!

“I’ll take you there.”

“You can’t.” napatigil sya sa pagkuha ng susi ng kotse ko at nilingon ako.

“What?”

“No need, L. May maghahatid sa akin.”

Nangunot ang noo nya. Mukhang hindi nya nagugustuhan ang mga sinasabi ko. It must be a surprised for him. Palaging sya ang naghahatid sa akin pero ngayon ay hindi ako magpapahatid sa kanya. Especially now that we’re official.

“Sino?” he asked. Walang kangiti-ngiti sa mga mata at mga labi nya. Feeling ko ay malapit na din syang magalit. Nagsimula tuloy akong kabahan.

“Si… Pierre.” I said with a small voice but I’m sure that he heard it. Pero hindi sya nagsalita at nanatili ang tingin nya sa akin kaya dinugtungan ko. “The guy at the party, L. He’s Pierre.”

Mas lalong nandilim ang paningin nya. I bit my lower lip. He looks angry. Parang ngayon ko lang yata nakita ang ganitong reaksyon nya.

Of course he’ll be angry! Kami na. We’re officially a couple pero magpapahatid ako sa ibang lalaki papunta sa trabaho ko na dati na rin naman nyang ginagawa. It was sudden too. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung anong gagawin ko.

“L—”

“You’ll go with me.” ang malamig nyang sabi na itinuloy ang pagkuha sa car key ng kotse ko. “Let’s go.”

Nauna syang maglakad palabas kaya sinundan ko sya. I was rubbing my palms. Kinakabahan kasi ako at natatakot kay L. Galit nga talaga sya!

“L, sandali—”

“Codee.”

My eyes widened when I recognized that voice. I saw Enki na nakasunod kay Yaya Sally. She was saying something sa pagpapapasok nya kay Enki sa gate ng bahay namin pero wala akong naintindihan. I just remained looking at Enki with my wide eyes.

He glanced at L. “Let’s go.” he said.

I bit my lower lip. Enki knows him. Binanggit nya ang tungkol kay L sa party. He knows that he’s there kaya alam kong nakilala nya si L. And he maybe realized by now that L is my bodyguard.

Shit! Things aren’t getting so good. Sigurado akong mas mahihirapan akong magdahilan kay L!

Chapter 23

L’s eyes looked murderous as he stared at Enki. Bigla akong kinabahan. I’ve seen this eyes so many times from my teammates sa Red Faction. Iyon ay kapag handa na silang pumatay. And L looks like he will do it. He will kill Enki if he’s provoked. Si Enki naman ay walang emosyon ang mga mata habang nakatingin kay L.

Tinignan ako ni Enki kaya sinamaan ko sya ng tingin. The air feels so heavy right now because of him. Kung hindi ba naman sya pumunta dito para sunduin ako ay hindi naman mangyayari ito! And he only give me one hour to prepare! Not enough para makalusot ako kay L!

“Let’s go, Codee.” Enki said. He looked and walked towards me.

I saw L clenched his jaw and his hands were balled into a fist. Natakot ako! Kaya naman mabilis akong lumapit kay Enki para gumitna sa kanilang dalawa pero parang mas nagalit pa yata si L!

“Codee.” he called my name using his warning tone. Napatigil ako sa paglapit kay Enki at hinarap sya.

I gulped when I saw how dark his eyes were. Mas lalo pa yatang naging itim ang kulay ng mga mata nya. He looked scary. Mukhang pinipigilan nya lang ang galit nya na umalpas.

Hindi ko tuloy alam kung lalapit ako o ano. I’m sure na kapag itinuloy ko ang paglapit kay Enki ay magagalit na talaga sya. But I’m having a second thoughts to walked towards L. Ngayon ko lang kasi sya nakita na galit ang mga mata. I always see him in his lazy state kaya bago sa paningin ko ito.

He’s still suppressing his anger. Gumagalaw ang panga nya sa pagtatangis ng mga bagang. Ang mga ugat nya sa braso ay nagpapakita dahil sa higpit ng pagkakakuyom nya sa mga palad nya.

He looked hot… But scary.

I gotta do something. Kapag hindi ako nagsalita at matatakot lang sa kanya ay walang mangyayari!

“L…” nanginig pa ang boses ko sa pagbanggit sa pangalan nya! Shit lang! “Si Pierre nga pala.” I decided to introduce them instead. “Pierre, si L.”

I stopped. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ipakikilala si L. I want to say that he’s my boyfriend pero masyado ng personal ang information na iyon. Ayokong malaman ni Enki ang lahat sa buhay ko.

Pero bago pa ako makapagsalita, Enki beat me to it.

“You’re the bodyguard? Ako na ang maghahatid kay Codee.” nagulat na lang ako nang inakbayan nya ako. “I’ll take care of her.”

L looked at Enki’s arm on my shoulders. Mas lalong dumoble ang galit sa mga mata nya. Parang handa syang baliin ang mga braso ni Enki. He took a step forward. Kinabahan ako kaya kusa kong inalis ang braso ni Enki sa balikat ko.

“L…” lumapit ako sa kanya at inilapat ang nga kamay ko sa dibdib nya. I felt his broad chest. Parang ang sarap haplusin pero inalala ko ang sitwasyon namin ngayon. “Si Pierre na muna ang maghahatid sa akin ngayon. Just for today. We have something to talk to.”

“You’re just a bodyguard. Just do what she says.” Pagsingit ni Enki. Sinamaan ko sya ng tingin pero saglit lang dahil alam kong mas nagalit si L.

I was right. L looked at me. Anger is still in his eyes. Nakikiusap ang mga mata ko sa kanya. Hoping that he’ll let me go with Enki without causing any ruckus.

Pero habang nakatingin ako sa mga mata nya ay nasasaktan ako. I don’t want him to get mad at me. Mas gusto ko pa sya noon na kahit hindi rin nagsasalita at tamad ang tingin, at least, hindi sya galit sa akin.

“Let’s go, Codee. We’re gonna be late.” said Enki. Gusto ko na lang syang murahin dahil alam kong ang Queen na naman ang inaalala nya. Pero hindi ko na lang sya pinansin.

“I’ll be back.” I told L. “Ngayon lang talaga ’to.”

Hinintay kong may sabihin sya pero hindi talaga sya nagsalita. Galit pa rin syang nakatingin sa akin. Kahit na nang tumalikod ako, kahit na nang makalabas ako ng gate at kahit na nang makasakay ako sa kotse ni Enki ay wala akong narinig na anuman kay L.

It hurts but I don’t know why I’m hurting. Dahil ba tinakasan ko sya? Dahil ba iniwan ko sya? Dahil ba galit sya sa akin? O dahil ba nagsinungaling ako sa kanya.

But I didn’t lie. Trabaho naman talaga ang pupuntahan ko.

“Where did you get my address?” I asked Enki while he’s silently driving. Kahit na gusto ko na lang na tumahimik ay madaldal talaga ang bibig ko.

“To your father.”

I closed my eyes. Oo nga pala. We met at the party. Enki is the son of my father’s business partner. Surely, he’ll trust Enki to give him our address. Hindi nya naman alam ang tungkol sa Bloody Human Chess game namin.

“He’s not just a bodyguard, is he?” Enki asked nang muling namayani sa amin ang katahimikan.

I didn’t say anything. Tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana at hindi na lang sya inimik. That’s a personal question. Sounds tricky but the answer will still be too personal.

I want to protect L. Kung kaya kong ilayo sya sa Queen ay gagawin ko.

“You’re getting softer and softer, Alter. And that’s dangerous. Nagpapakita ka na ng kahinaan mo.”

No. I have my weakness even before. It was my father. Pinoprotektahan ko din sya kaya naman sinusunod ko ang mga utos ng Queen. I don’t want her to use him against me. Ayokong gamitin nya si Papa.

But now, may nadagdag sa kahinaan ko. And Enki is right. It’ll be dangerous.

“You should be like our Queen.” Enki said again. “She’s fearless. She doesn’t have any weaknesses.”

Queen na naman. Natutulili na talaga ang mga tenga ko sa palagi nyang pagbanggit sa Queen. Bawat minuto yata ay palagi syang may sinasabi tungkol sa kanya.

I don’t know anymore if what he feel is love… Or just an obsession.

I mean, if I am the Queen at may isang Enki sa tabi ko, feeling ko ay masasakal ako. Even if Enki is doing everything she says, parang nakakasakal pa rin. I don’t want a love like that.

But then, she’s the mad Queen. So maybe, hindi nya nararamdaman iyon. Baka nga natutuwa pa sya dahil may nauutusan sya.

“Someone is following us.” said Enki. Napatingin ako sa rearview mirror at nanlamig ang buong katawan ko nang makita kung sino ang nakasunod sa amin.

It was my car and it’s driving the car passed the speed limit. Mabilis ang paglapit nya sa amin.

It was L. I’m sure that it was L. Nasa kanya ang susi ng kotse ko.

Enki tsked. He looked at me and checked if I’m wearing a seatbelt. Tumingin ulit sy sa rearview mirror at nakita ko na ilang dipa na lang ang layo sa amin ni L.

“Now this is going to be fun.” Enki said before he maneuver the car. Inapakan nya ang accelerator kaya biglang bumilis ang takbo namin.

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa seatbelt ko. Shit lang! Ang bilis bilis ng takbo ng kotse. It was way, way passed the speed limit pero patuloy sa mabilis na pagtakbo ang kotse ni Enki.

He dodged so many vehicles. Ilang beses din kaming nag overtake. Wala sa sariling napadasal ako. Feeling ko ay dito na ako mamamatay!

“Slow down, Enki!” tili ko dahil may ten wheeler truck sa unahan namin pero hindi sya nagpatinag.

Napatili ako nang pumailalim ang kotse namin sa ten wheeler truck. Lumipat sya ng kabilang lane kaya sumulot sa ilalim ng truck! Shit talaga! Feeling ko ay mahihimatay na ako sa sobrang kaba.

He glanced at rearview mirror and cursed when he saw L na nakasunod pa rin sa amin. Hindi nga yata nadagdagan ang distansya namin. Enki took out his phone at hindi ko na napigilan ang murahin sya.

“Shit, Enki! Eyes on the road!”

But he didn’t listen. Nag-dial pa sya bago inilapit sa tenga nya. Gusto ko na talagang umiyak! Ayoko pang mamatay!

“Pascal.” I heard Enki said. I realized that he’s talking to a Pawn. “Someone is following us. Take him down.”

Napasinghap ako at agad na napatingin kay Enki na ibinababa ang phone nya. He looked at the road again and increased the speed of the car.

“Enki, no! Don’t hurt him!” sigaw ko but Enki looked concentrated while driving.

Shit, no! He just asked a Pawn to kill L!

Napalingon ako sa likod to see what’s happening. Lumayo ang distansya ng kotse ni L at nakita kong may nakapantay na motorbike sa kanya. I almost cried when I saw the driver took out a gun and pointed it at the driver seat.

My car isn’t bulletproof!

Hindi ko na alam kung anong nangyari dahil mas lumayo na ang distansya namin at naharangan na rin ng iba pang mga sasakyan ang paningin ko.

I bit my lower lip. I am so worried for L. Naninikip ang dibdib ko sa sobrang pag aalala. Then I remembered the driver of the motorcycle pointing his gun at the driver’s seat.

Oh my God! Please help L!

I tried to control my emotions but I can’t. Sobrang gulong gulo na ako ngayon. Ayokong isipin na may nangyaring masama kay L.

Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kakayanin. Ngayon pa lang, gusto ko nang humagulgol ng iyak.

Enki suddenly swerved to the right kaya napatili ako. He stepped on the break at dahil mabilis ang pagtakbo namin, the break created a loud and screeching sound before the car stopped.

Nahihilo ako. Nauntog ako sa salamin kanina nang biglang nag-swerve si Enki. I tried to look outside to see what happened pero mabilis na bumaba si Enki. Napababa na din ako. We were at some road na halos wala nang dumadaan na mga sasakyan.

And that’s when I saw my car. Nakatigil din iyon hindi kalayuan sa amin. Mukhang hinarangan ni L ang daraan namin kaya biglang napakambyo si Enki para hindi kami mabangga.

L went out of the car and I heaved a sigh of relief when I saw that he’s okay. Ayos sya. Walang sugat. And that’s enough for me.

I feel so bad. Mas nag aalala ako kay L kaysa sa kakampi ko sa laro!

What happened to the Pawn though?

Mabilis ang hakbang ng mga lalaki papunta sa isa’t isa. I gasped when Enki threw a punch to L but he quickly dodged it. L tried to jab Enki in the gut pero mabilis din na nakailag si Enki.

They threw punches to each other at nanonood lang ako. They’re both good! Mabilis ang kilos nila at kalkulado pati ang mga galaw ng kalaban. I didn’t know that L could match Enki’s skill! I mean, Enki is the best among the members of Red Faction when it comes to close-combat fights!

L fist landed on Enki’s neck. He gagged pero mabilis syang nakabawi at nasuntok sa mukha si L. Nagdugo ang mga labi nya. He staggered a bit but regained his stance immediately.

I feel like I’m watching an action movie!

Pero napatigil ako nang maglabas ng baril si Enki at tinutukan si L sa dibdib. Magkalapit lang sila kaya nakalapat ang dulo ng baril sa dibdib ni L. But L is fast. Naglabas din sya ng baril at idinikit sa ulo ni Enki.

“Oh my God!” tili ko. I want to go near them pero ayaw gumalaw ng mga paa ko.

The two guys were just staring at each other. Anger is boiling in their eyes. I am panicking but I tried to calm myself. Shit! Pagdating kay L ay hindi ko makontrol ang mga emotions ko.

“Pierre! Don’t hurt him, please!” I cried.

I took a step pero napatigil din. Kitang kita ko ang galit sa mga mata nila at hindi na ako magtataka kung may marinig man akong putok ng baril.

But no, I don’t want that to happen!

“Pierre, please. Huwag mo syang sasaktan. Put down your gun.” I pleaded.

“Tell that to your bodyguard, Codee!” Enki bellowed. Binalingan ko si L.

“L! L, please, put down your gun. Pierre won’t hurt you. Just put down your gun.”

I know. Kahit gaano pang galit ang nararamdaman ngayon ni Enki, he won’t kill someone himself if it’s not the Queen’s order.

Ilang sandaling tinitigan nang masama ni L si Enki bago ibinaba ang baril. Mabilis akong tumakbo palapit sa kanya.

“Shit, L! Are you okay?” I asked worriedly. Halos hubaran ko na sya para lang makita kung may iba pa syang sugat bukod sa nasa labi nya.

L stopped me from checking him for wounds. “I’m okay.”

“Codee.” Enki called me. Nakalimutan ko ang tungkol sa kanya dahil sa pag aalala ko kay L.

I looked at him. L possessively encircled his arms on my waist. “What?”

“Let’s go. She’s waiting.”

I shook my head. Pagkatapos ng nangyari, hindi ko na kaya ang sumama sa kanya at iwan si L.

“Hindi ako sasama sayo.” I said, determined.

Enki eyed me. Halatang hindi nya nagustuhan ang sagot ko but this is what I want. Kahit na hilahin nya ako at pilitin ay hindi pa rin ako sasama sa kanya.

He looked at me dead in the eyes.

“Her Majesty will hear about this.” those were his last words before he turned his back and went inside his car.

Pareho naming pinanood ni L ang paglayo ng sasakyan nya. When it’s finally out of our eyes, tsaka ko lang naramdaman ang sobrang takot ko.

I was really scared. I thought that I was gonna die earlier. I thought that L was gonna die. At doon ako sobrang natakot. Para kay L at hindi para sa sarili ko.

Enki will surely tell what happened to the Queen. Malalaman na nya ang tungkol kay L.

But whatever happens, I will protect L from her.

Chapter 24

We were both silent the whole drive back to my house. Hindi nagsasalita si L, na hindi naman na bago. Ang nagbago lang ay ang ekspresyon ng mukha nya. He looked angry. His knuckles were turning white as he gripped on the steering wheel. Gumagalaw pa ang panga nya tanda ng pag-iigting noon.

I am talkative. Very talkative. Pero alam ko din naman kung kailan dapat na tumahimik. And this is that time. Feeling ko na kapag nagsalita ako ay sa akin mababaling ang galit nya.

My hands were still trembling because of what happened. Sanay akong makakita ng mga ganoong eksena kapag may mission ang Red Faction. I was their eye, their guide. Nakikita ko ang lahat ng mga nangyayari sa CCTV.

I thought that I’m used to scenes like that. Pero ang mangyari mismo sa harapan ko, ang mangyari ang mga iyon sa isang taong mahalaga sa akin ay nakakatakot rin pala. I’ve never felt so scared in my life.

Kanina lang, lalo na nang tutukan ni Enki ng baril si L, sobra talaga akong natakot. Ang akala ko ay may mangyayari nang masama kay L.

L parked the car inside the garage. Wala pa rin kaming imikan kahit nang makababa na kami sa kotse. Nauna syang pumasok ng bahay at nakasunod lang ako sa kanya.

Pabagsak syang umupo sa may sofa at isinandal ang likod at ang ulo sa may backrest ng sofa. He took a deep breath before he closed his eyes.

Ako, nanatiling nakatayo lang sa may harap nya. I was playing with my fingers while making up my mind. I want to go near him but I’m afraid. Natatakot ako na baka magtanong sya. Natatakot akong baka masabi ko sa kanya ang lahat.

But I shouldn’t. Alam kong hindi ko dapat sabihin sa kanya ang totoo. If ever he asked me, I should think of a lie. O hindi kaya ay iwasan ko sya para mawalan sya ng pagkakataon para tanungin ako.

My world is not safe. Magulo ang mundo ko. My life isn’t normal. At ayokong madamay si L sa gulong iyon. Kung pwede lang sanang makasama ko sya nang hindi nya nalalaman ang tungkol sa isa ko pang mundo ay magiging masaya sana ang lahat.

Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganito. Ngayon lang ako nagkagusto sa isang lalaki to the point that I wanted to protect him. At kailangan kong gawin iyon lalo na at malalaman na ng Queen ang tungkol sa kanya.

Enki will surely tell what happened to the Queen.

I stared at L’s face. Nakapikit sya at mukhang natutulog. Banayad ang paghinga nya but something is telling me that he’s not really sleeping. Na nakapikit lang sya at nagpapahinga saglit.

I saw the cut on his lower lip, gawa ng pagkakasuntok ni Enki sa kanya kanina. I got worried. Napanood ko ang lahat at alam kong malakas ang pagkakasuntok sa kanya. Sigurado akong nasaktan ang mga labi nya.

I should’ve leave L for a while. I should avoid him to avoid his questions. Pero mas nanaig ang pag aalala ko sa kanya. I sighed and walked towards the medicine cabinet na nasa may kusina. Inilabas ko ang first aid kit. I decided to treat L’s wound on his lips.

Lumubog ang parteng iyon ng sofa nang umupo ako sa tabi nya. I’m sure that he felt it but he didn’t open his eyes. Nanatiling nakasandal ang ulo nya sa may backrest kaya umayos ako ng upo para malinis ang sugat nya.

I put an antiseptic on the cotton bud and lightly dab it to his wound. Hindi pa rin dumidilat si L kaya ipinagpatuloy ko lang ang ginagawa ko.

Mahina kong hinihipan ang sugat nya sa bawat pagdampi ko ng cotton bud doon. Medyo malaki ang sugat kaya nakaramdam ako ng galit kay Enki. How dare him! Sobrang lambot ng mga labi ni L kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung mabilis na magkasugat!

L finally opened his eyes. Naramdaman ko agad ang pagtitig nya sa akin pero hindi ko sya tinignan. Pinigilan ko ang panginginig ng mga kamay ko habang ginagamot ang sugat nya. L’s eyes is giving me a frightening yet warm feeling.

Nang matapos ko ang paggagamot sa sugat nya at maayos ang first aid kit ay saka lang ako tumingin sa kanya. His eyes aren’t showing any emotions kaya kinabahan ako.

I’m sure that he has a lot of questions. About, Enki, about the “Her Majesty” that he mentioned, about my real work, about me.

“Wala ka bang itatanong?” I asked. Iniwan ko na dapat sya dito dahil tapos ko na naman magamot ang sugat nya. Hindi ko dapat sya tinanong ng ganito. Dahil hindi ko rin naman alam kung anong isasagot ko kapag nagtanong sya.

I can’t tell him the truth.

“Ikaw? Wala ka bang sasabihin?” L asked coldly.

I gulped. Hindi ako nakapagsalita. I realized that he won’t ask me anything. Ang gusto nya ay kusa kong sabihin sa kanya ang lahat.

Tumungo ako at dahan-dahan na umiling. Pinaglaruan ko ang mga daliri ko na nakapatong sa mga hita ko. I heard him sighed. Gumalaw sya at umayos ng upo.

“I won’t ask you then.”

Nang mag angat ako ng tingin ay hindi sya nakatingin sa akin. Nakapatong ang mga siko nya sa mga tuhod nyang bahagyang nakabuka.

I bit my lower lip. Gusto ko syang mayakap. But I feel like there’s a wall between us. Kahit na ang lapit-lapit nya lang sa akin.

“Can I ask… A one day free from you, L?”

Mabilis syang napatingin sa akin. He looked surprised. Magkasalubong ang mga kilay nya but his eyes tell me that he was not expecting my question.

“What?” he asked, almost a whisper.

“A day free from you. Can you give me that?”

Nag iwas sya ng tingin sa akin. I noticed his hands balled into a fist. I pursed my lips trying to suppress my feeling. Parang gusto ko kasing umiyak.

I feel like… We’re drifting apart.

“Will you be okay?” he asked. And that question made my eyes misty.

Hindi nya tinanong kung bakit. Hindi nya tinanong kung saan ako pupunta. Hindi sya nagtanong ng kahit na ano ng tungkol sa pupuntahan ko. Instead, he asked if I’ll be okay.

“Yes…” I whispered. Pakiramdam ko ay maiiyak ako kung lalakasan ko ang boses ko.

He nodded. “I won’t be here tomorrow. There’s somewhere I needed to go. You can go wherever you what, then.”

Gusto kong magtanong kung saan sya pupunta. I want to ask if he’s meeting someone. Sino? Anong gagawin nya?

But it won’t be fair for him.

He stood up. Napatingala ako sa kanya pero hindi sya nakatingin sa akin.

“Goodnight, Codee.” he said and walked away.

Doon tumulo ang mga luha ko. I tried to stop my tears but it just keep on falling. Feeling ko ay ang tagal na simula nang huli akong maiyak kaya ayaw tumigil ngayon.

Ang unfair lang. Sobrang daya. We were just starting. Nagsisimula pa lang ang relasyon namin ni L pero parang mas lumalayo lang kami sa isa’t-isa. Bakit ba kasi ngayon pa kailangan na umeksena ng Queen?

But I have to do this. I need to see the Queen. Alam kong hindi nya palalagpasin ang nangyari kanina. I disobeyed her orders. Twice. Hindi ko alam kung anong parusa ang gagawin nya sa akin pero kailangan kong protektahan si L. I’m sure that she has an idea how important he is to me. At gagamitin nya iyon laban sa akin.

I’ll do everything. For my love ones.

Wala na nga si L kinabukasan nang bumaba ako. Yaya Sally said na maagang umalis si L, halos hindi pa sumisikat ang araw. I wanted to know where he went pero hindi naman sya nagtanong kung saan ako papunta. Magiging unfair sa kanya. But I’m sure that it’s important. Hindi nya iiwan ang pagiging bodyguard ko kung hindi importante ang pupuntahan nya.

I went to our hideout. Doon ako pumunta sa may bulwagan at hindi sa may computer room ko. Siguradong nandoon ang Queen at pati na rin si Enki.

And I’m right. Nang makarating ako doon ay nakita kong nandoon din sina Yucca at ang tatlo pang natitirang Pawn. Pascal isn’t anywhere. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari sa kanya kahapon.

There’s an elevated space at the end where the majestic seats of the King and Queen is placed. Sa ibaba ay nakahilera ang mga upuan na para sa mga higher pieces. May space sa gitna para sa lakaran. I saw my seat na parang matagal nang hindi nauupuan.

The Queen is sitting elegantly on her seat. Nergal is at her feet habang si Enki ay nakatayo sa gilid nya. The seat beside the Queen, that is for the King, is still empty. Si Yucca naman ay nasa baba at nakaupo sa upuang para sa kanya. Habang ang tatlong Pawns ay nakatayo sa pinakadulo.

Tumigil ako sa harapan ng Queen. Bahagyang nakatingala sa kanya. She eyed me from head-to-toe before she smiled at me. Bahagya kong itinungo ang ulo ko.

“Your Majesty.” I greeted and looked up.

“Alter… It’s been a while.”

Nakita kong napahikab si Nergal. The Queen pet him but the tiger’s eyes remained on me.

Hindi ako nagpakita ng takot kahit na pakiramdam ko ay hahatulan ako ngayon. Pinigilan ko ang lumingon sa gilid para sulyapan si Yucca.

“How have you been?” The Queen asked.

“I am fine, Your Majesty.”

She smiled sweetly but I can see that there’s something in her eyes. May pinaplano sya. At sigurado akong hindi ko magugustuhan iyon.

“That’s good to hear.” masaya pang sabi nya. “We haven’t seen each other for awhile. I’ve been busy over something too. But I missed you, Alter. Ikaw ba? Did you missed me?”

Hindi ako sumagot. I don’t want to lie but if I tell her the truth, sigurado akong ipapakain na nya ako kay Nergal.

Shit lang. I forgot to bring my lollipop with me.

The Queen pouted her lips and looked at her pet. “Nergal… I am hurt. Seems like Alter didn’t miss me.”

Napatingin si Nergal sa amo nya bago tumingin sa akin. Mukhang nakakaintindi ang malaking pusa. His eyes were telling me that I should tell the Queen that I’ve missed her as well.

Bwisit na malaking pusang ’to. Wala bang dadaang daga at nang maihagis sa kanya?

“Anyway.” the Queen said afterwards. “I’m sure you know that I got busy with the rare drug and my subject.” she smiled. “Malapit na, Alter. We’re going to win this game because of him.”

She’s smiling but she looked so evil to me. Naikuyom ko ang mga palad ko. I gritted my teeth. Ang galit ay unti-unting umuusbong sa dibdib ko.

“The rare drug is now showing its effect. I’m so happy!” she said cheerfully. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko.

“You’re really evil.” I said. Napatingin sa akin ang Queen na may gulat sa mga mata. “Buhay pa ang tao but you’re doing an experiment on him like he’s a fucking rat!”

Mukhang hindi lang ang Queen ang nagulat sa pagsabog ko. I heard gasps and murmurs from the Pawns. I saw Yucca from the corner of my eyes shifted on her seat. Enki looks like he’s ready to kill me if the Queen will order him.

The smile on the Queen’s face slowly disappeared. She looked at me coldly.

“Hypocrite.” she said. Naramdaman ko ang panlalamig ng katawan ko sa lamig ng boses nya. “You were the one who’s insisting that he’s already dead. And now you’re telling me that he’s alive and call me evil?”

Bahagyang nalulukot ang mukha ng Queen dahil sa galit na ipinapakita nya but she remained beautiful and elegant. Ang mga kuko nya ay bumabaon sa arm rest at natanggal ang ibang mga diamonds doon. Kung dati ay gugustuhin ko pang pulutin iyon pero ngayon ay hindi na.

“Who’s the evil one, Alter?” she asked. “Buhay pa pero pinapatay mo na!”

“We both know what I meant by that!” I shouted which triggered Nergal.

The tiger got up with his four feet and snarled at me. He bared his fangs while creating a beast like sound. Kinabahan ako dahil mukhang handang-handa na ang hayop na kainin ako pero hindi ako tumakbo. Mas lalo lang tumapang ang nararamdaman ko. Inalala ko kung bakit ako nandito ngayon.

The Queen shush Nergal at mabilis syang sinunod ng alaga nya. Muling umupo si Nergal pero nakabantay na sa akin.

“You disobeyed my order twice, Alter. I let you off the hook the first time. But you did it again and I must punish you, mustn’t I?”

I heaved a deep breath. Nagsimula akong kabahan pero hindi ko ipinakita. Alam kong hindi ko magugustuhan ang parusang ibibigay nya.

“I heard from Enki what happened yesterday.” sabi ng Queen. “Did you know that our Pawn died because of your bodyguard-slash-boyfriend?”

Mas lalong lumakas ang kabang nararamdaman ko. Pinigilan ko ang panginginig ng mga kamay ko. She mentioned L. Kinakabahan ako sa kung anong sasabihin nya.

“You wanted to be on the frontline, right?” The Queen smiled at me. “I’m giving you this special mission, Alter. This will be your punishment.”

“What are you…” hindi ko na natapos ang itatanong ko dahil sa sobrang kaba ko. Especially when the Queen gave me her sweetest smile.

“I want you to kill your man, Alter.”

Chapter 25

My hands that were hidden at my back trembled by the Queen’s words. Ikinuyom ko ang mga palad ko para sana mapigilan iyon. I know that Yucca could see my trembling hands. I must’ve look so pathetic in her eyes right now.

Nilunok ko ang pagbabara sa lalamunan ko at taas noong tumingin sa Queen. She’s smiling but I can see the challenge in her eyes. Sinusubukan nya kung susundin ko ang sinabi nya o susuwayin ko sya sa pangatlong pagkakataon.

Tama ako. I know that I wouldn’t like the punishment that she gave me. Kailan ba may ginawa ang Queen na nagustuhan ko? And I can’t do anything but to obey. ’Cause I’m just a Knight.

“There’s a rule that we mustn’t involved innocent people in this game, Your Majesty.” I said, controlling my voice. Hindi ko dapat ipakita kung gaano ako naapektuhan sa sinabi nya kanina.

The Queen waved her hand like she’s dismissing the topic. “Oh, please. We don’t really care about that rule.”

“Your Majesty… The gamemasters gave us a punishment when we broke that rule before. The game is near at its end. Hindi na tayo pwedeng malagasan ulit ng mga myembro.”

Tumahimik ang Queen at parang nag iisip. Kabang-kaba ako habang naghihintay ako ng mga sasabihin nya. I’m hoping that she’ll take back what she said earlier.

We already broke the rule before. The Rook asked me to hack the information of the former members of the last Human Chess game to which I did. Nalaman namin ang katauhan ng mga former Rooks ng EL Ordre. And our Rook used that info to kill them. He spared their children, dahil ayon sa kanya ay hindi sya matutuwa kung papatayin nya ang batang walang kalaban-laban.

I am guilty. Kung hindi ko sinunod ang utos nya, walang madadamay na mga inosente. The EL Ordre’s former Rooks’ children became an orphan. Nawalan sila ng mga magulang sa murang edad pa lang.

Pakiramdam ko ay mas masakit pa ang nangyari sa kanila kaysa sa akin na hindi nakilala ang totoong mga magulang. They grew up with their parents. They had a time together. Kaya mas masakit ang pagkamatay nila dahil ang mga masasayang alaalang mayroon sila ay magiging masakit dahil sa pagkamatay ng mga magulang nila.

That’s why I pitied the EL Ordre’s Rooks. Lalo pa na hawak namin ang isa sa kanila ngayon.

“You’re right.” the Queen muttered but she looked like she’s talking to herself.

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Iilan na lang kaming myembro ng Red Faction ang natirira. Samantalang sa kabila ay ang Rook pa lang ang nawala sa kanila. Hindi na hahayaan ng Queen na malagasan pa kami hangga’t hindi pa maayos ang kalagayan ng King.

“Ah!” she suddenly exclaimed. “But the gamemasters said that we can kill your man. They gave us permission. You don’t have to worry about anything, Alter.”

Kulang pa ang sabihin na nagulat ako dahil sa sinabi nya. My mind can’t even process her words. Hirap na hirap akong itago ang pagkagulat sa mukha ko.

“What?” I asked, almost whispering the word.

The Queen smiled. “We won’t break any rule if you kill your man since the gamemasters permitted it. Hindi tayo malalagasan ng members. You are free to kill him, Alter.”

My heart hammered. Halos masuka ako sa sobrang kaba na nararamdaman ko. Ang daming tanong na tumatakbo ngayon sa isip ko.

Why did the gamemasters gave permission to kill L? Ang akala ko ba ay hindi na kami pwedeng mandamay pa ng mga inosenteng tao? Pero bakit pumayag sila? Why?! Dahil ba pinatay ni L ang Pawn namin? Pero sya ang nauna! Enki ordered Pascal to kill L and he just defended himself! I know na kung hindi namin pipigilan si L noon ay masusundan nya kami sa hideout kaya inutos iyon ni Enki. Pero unfair pa rin ’cause L only protected himself!

“You always tell me that you wanted to be on the frontline, Alter. You want to fight the enemies too. That’s why I’m giving you this special mission.” The Queen giggled. “See? I’m so kind and considerate. I’m not evil.”

Nanginig ang pang ibabang labi ko dahil sa halo-halong mga emosyon na nararamdaman ko. Nagtiim-bagang ako para mapigilan iyon. I remained my emotionless face. But deep inside, my emotions were in chaos.

I thought of L. Hindi ko pa sya masyadong kilala. Ang tanging alam ko lang sa kanya ay ang totoo nyang pangalan at ang nararamdaman nya sa akin. But it was enough for me to like him. It was enough for me to love him.

He made me feel like I can be a normal person. That I can have a normal lovelife. Na pwede rin akong kiligin. I felt so normal whenever I’m with him.

I so wanted to protect him. Pero ako pa yata ang nagpahamak sa kanya.

“I can’t…” sabi ko na halos ako lang ang nakakarinig. “I can’t.” ulit ko sa mas malakas na boses.

“You can’t? Really? You just won’t, Alter.” The Queen said, full of sarcasm.

Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. Noong una ay may ngiti pa sa mga labi nya pero unti-unti ring nawala. She looked at me coldly.

“Kill him, Alter. Accept your punishment.”

I pursed my lips. Ayokong magsalita. Maiiyak lang ako. I was never a crybaby pero naghalo-halo lang talaga ang emosyon ko ngayon.

Even a lollipop can’t calm me down.

“You still won’t?” the Queen asked. Dinig ko ang pagkainis sa boses nya. “Then, choose. Kill him or I’ll kill your father.”

Natulala ako at napatitig na lang sa Queen. I’m wishing that this is not really happening. I’m wishing that this is just a dream. A nightmare. Ang lahat ng ito ay hindi totoo. At magigising ako sa kwarto ko na isa lang akong normal na tao.

Now, I’m regretting that I tried to know my biological father’s life in this way. Sana ay hindi na lang ako sumali sa laro. Sana ay tinanggihan ko ang alok ng Queen. Sana ay nakuntento na lang ako sa pag aalaga ng umampon sa akin.

But the Queen knows how to manipulate everyone around her. She knows how to play with words. At nadala ako sa mga pinagsasabi nya.

“I mean Enki will kill your father.” pagbawi ng Queen sa sinabi nya. “I like you, Alter. That’s why I’m giving you a choice. Kung hindi lang kita gusto, sasabihin kong patayin mo rin pati ang umampon sayo.”

Sunod-sunod akong kumuha ng malalalim na hininga para pakalmahin ang sarili ko. I fought the urge to kill the Queen right here and there. I know that it isn’t wise. I know that it’s a suicide. Mamatay din ako kung papatayin ko sya ngayon.

And Enki will live. Sigurado akong hindi nya matatanggap kapag ginawa ko iyon sa Queen. He’ll get revenge for his beloved. Papatayin nya si L at pati na rin si Papa.

“You can’t choose?” ang tanong sa akin ng Queen ng makailang sandali akong hindi sumagot. “Then I’ll help you. If I were you, I’ll choose my father. Inalagaan nya ako. Itinuring na totoong anak. I’ll choose him over a man that I know nothing about. Marami pa namang ibang lalaki dyan.”

No. You’re wrong, Your Majesty. L is the only one who made me feel that I can have a normal life.

The Queen looked at Yucca. “How about you, bitch? If you’re Alter, who will you choose? Your father or your man?”

I looked at Yucca. Nakatingin sya sa akin na may awa sa mga mata. Parang gusto ko tuloy na matawa. I think I finally understand how she felt. I finally understand why she did that.

“My man, Your Majesty.” ang sagot ni Yucca na tumayo at diretsong tumingin sa Queen. “Whenever I’m with him, nakakalimutan ko na masama akong tao. Nakakalimutan ko na marami na akong pinatay at sa impyerno ako mapupunta. I can laugh freely whenever I’m with him. Feeling ko ay ibang tao ako kapag kasama ko sya at hindi ako ang Yucca na kaawa-awa.”

The Queen’s eyes turned colder. Alam kong galit na galit na sya. Kahit kailan ay hindi nya talaga nagustuhan si Yucca. Palagi nyang pinahihirapan. Palaging si Yucca ang pinapagawa nya ng mga delikadong misyon. But Yucca is really good since she’s a Bishop.

“Bitch. We are talking about Alter here and not about your issues!” ang galit na sabi ng Queen na halos sumigaw na. But she tried to calm herself when she looked at me again. “I am hurt. You’re making me look so bad. I gave you a choice, Alter, diba? All you have to do is to choose. Madali lang naman.”

Pigil na pigil ang galit ko. Baliw sya. She’s really a Mad Queen. I just wished that King Lancer will take over and end the Queen’s reign. Baka magawa nyang putulin ang sungay ng baliw naming reyna.

I know I can’t choose between the two important men in my life. Kung pwede ko lang ipagpalit ang buhay ko ay ginawa ko na.

But I have to think of a plan first.

“Three days.” I said. Nakita kong napataas ang kilay ng Queen sa pagtataka. “Give me three days to spend with my man.”

Three days. I think it’s enough to think of a plan. Wala akong papatayin. Wala akong pipiliin. Wala. I just need a plan.

Noong una ay mukhang hindi maintindihan ng Queen ang sinabi ko pero ilang sandali ay napangiti din sya. Nagliwanag ang mukha nya. She looked so beautiful.

But the famous quote is right. Looks can be deceiving.

“You’re choosing your father?” she asked. “That’s great!”

Wala akong sinabi. Wala akong pinili. But she thought that I’m choosing my father. At iniisip nya na ang hinihingi kong tatlong araw na makasama si L ay para makagawa ng masasayang alaala bago ko sya patayin.

“Kneel, Alter.” the Queen suddenly said.

I frowned. “What?”

“You’re asking me to give you three days before you kill your man, right? It’s actually too much. But since I like you, I’ll reconsider. But you have to kneel.”

“You’re crazy.” Ang naibulong ko. The Queen just smiled at me.

“Kneel for me, Alter. Kneel for your Queen.”

I heard Yucca gasped. Tahimik ang paligid kaya dinig na dinig ko iyon. I understand why she was surprised. Dahil kahit sya, kahit gaano pa kagalit ang Queen sa kanya ay hindi sya pinilit na lumuhod nito.

I stared at the Queen with fury in my eyes. Kulang pa ang mga salita para sabihin kung gaano ako kagalit sa kanya. I am cursing her inside my mind. Hinihiling ko na sana ay makahanap din sya ng katapat nya.

I can’t do anything. Kahit na ayokong lumuhod ay wala akong magawa. Kapag hindi ko ginawa ang gusto nya ay ngayon nya sa akin ipapapatay si L. Then I would’nt have time to think of a plan.

Slowly, I kneeled with my one knee. I heard Yucca’s sob which made me feel so pathetic. Kasabay ng pagyuko ko ay ang pagtulo ng luha ko.

“Beg, Alter.”

With my gritted teeth, I did what she said.

“Please, give me three days to spend with my man, Your Majesty.”

Nanatili akong nakayuko. I don’t want to see them looking down on me. Pakiramdam ko ay ang hina-hina ko. But I’m willing to swallow my pride, if it will make me save my love ones.

Narinig ko ang matalas na tunog ng takong sa sapatos ng Queen habang pababa sya at papunta sa akin. Every step she takes sounds like power. Kahit ang tunog ng paglalakad nya ay makapangyarihan.

Nakita ko ang stilettos nya sa harapan ko habang nakayuko ako. Then I felt her hands on my shoulders as she guide me to stand up. Nang magkapantay kami ay nakita nya ang mga luha sa pisngi ko. She wiped it with gentleness before she hugged me.

“It’s okay.” ang malambing nyang sabi habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko. “I told you before. That love will complicate everything.”

Humiwalay ng yakap ang Queen sa akin. Her one hand cupped my left cheeks. Her hand feel so cold. She smiled at me like she really adores me.

“I will give you three days to spend with him. Do whatever you want. Make him happy with his remaining time.”

I didn’t say anything when she hugged me again. I didn’t hugged her back. Ikinuyom ko lang ang mga kamao ko sa gilid ko.

Wala akong pakialam kung natapakan ang pride ko ngayon. Wala akong pakialam kung magmukha akong kaawa-awa. At least, nangyari ang gusto kong mangyari. The Queen gave me three days.

All I have to do is to think of a plan. A plan to save both L and my father.

Chapter 26

I went to the computer room after that talk with the Queen, kung pag-uusap man ang tawag doon. I noticed that there’s a dust on my keyboards and monitors. Halatang wala talagang gumalaw noon simula nang huli kong punta dito.

Not that they can use it anyway. I am the only one who can use my computers. I programmed these that way. So I can prevent the files and informations leakage.

And besides, I’m the only tracker in this group.

I decided to clean my things before using it. These are my babies. At naaawa ako dahil napabayaan ko sila ng matagal. I’m scared na baka masira sila dahil sa mga alikabok na bumalot sa kanila.

My mind started to wander to what happened earlier. I can’t believe that I swallowed my pride for L and for my father. Ito ang kauna-unahang pagkakataon na nagmakaawa ako sa isang tao. This is the first time that I begged. It wasn’t a good feeling. I felt so pathetic. So powerless. Pero ito na lang ang meron ako para maprotektahan ang mga minamahal ko.

I sighed. I missed those days na ang paghahanap lang ng lollipop ang problema ko kapag walang stocks sa mga groceries. Not that I regretted meeting L. I’m actually thankful that he came into my life. Dahil sa kanya ay natuto akong lumaban. Natuto akong ipaglaban kung anong gusto ko. Natuto akong kumilos na para sa pangsarili ko at walang sinusunod na utos.

He let me out of my chaotic world. And even if it’s just for a while, I had the great time of my life.

At hindi ko hahayaan na mapahamak ang taong nagparamdam sa akin ng ganoon.

I sat down on my computer chair and turned on my computers. Pinakatitigan ko lang naman iyon. I don’t know what I should do. I don’t know where should I start planning.

Then I remembered that I still haven’t know anything about L. My fingers worked and tapped on the keyboard. Inilagay ko ang buong pangalan ni L sa search bar para sana hanapin ang mga impormasyon tungkol sa kanya nang mapatigil ako.

Somehow, it made me feel that what I’m doing isn’t right. Napatigil tuloy ako at hindi ko alam kung itutuloy ko pa.

I could just ask him, right?

I deleted his name but typed it again. Paulit-ulit na ganoon ang ginawa ko. There’s a part of me that wanted to search informations about him. I’m sure that my computers won’t fail me. Ilalabas noon ang lahat ng mga impormasyon na tungkol kay L. Hindi ko na sya kailangan pang tanungin. I would know if he’s lying if I ask him.

Pero meron namang nagsasabi sa akin na itanong ko na lang sa kanya. There’s something inside me that saying that L will tell me the truth. At magagalit sya kapag nalama nyang I searched info about him without his knowledge.

Nagpangalumbaba ako at tinitigan ang monitor na may pangalan nya. I really like his name. It sounds simple but it’s still unique. Even his nickname is peculiar anyway.

Nasa gitna ako ng pag iisip kung anong gagawin nang nakarinig ako ng pagkatok sa nakasaradong pinto ng computer room ko. Bumukas iyon at iniluwa ang Queen kaya mabilis akong napatayo.

“Your Majesty…” I greeted her. Naglakad sya palapit sa akin with a smile on her face.

“Hello, Alter.” she said. “Are you working again?”

Tumingin sya sa mga monitor kaya mabilis kong pinatay ang isa kung nasaan ang pangalan ni L. I saw the Queen’s confusion by my sudden moves pero ngumiti na lang nang tumingin sa akin.

“What brings you here, Your Majesty?” I asked kahit na may ideya na ako sa kung anong pakay nya. Tumingin ako sa likod nya pero wala sina Enkidu at ang alaga nyang si Nergal. She went here alone.

“It’s not really important.” she said.

Duda ako sa sinabi nyang iyon. Para kasing kabaligtaran ang gusto nyang sabihin. The Queen is strange afterall. Kaya ang ibig sabihin nya talaga ay importante ang sasabihin nya.

“I want to know if you have any information about the EL Ordre’s King?”

I saw the interest in her eyes again. Matagal na nyang ipinapagawa sa akin ito. She wanted to know who’s the EL Ordre’s King. Pero kahit nga mismo ang mga myembro nila ay hindi alam kung sino ang King nila kaya malabong malaman ko iyon.

But the Queen is really interested in the enemy’s King. Lagi nya akong nilalapitan tungkol sa bagay na ito. Kapag wala sa tabi nya si Enki ay ito ang palagi nyang itinatanong sa akin.

I don’t even know why she’s interested to a man that he never met.

“He’s still not revealing himself, Your Majesty.” I answered. “I can’t get any information about him.”

Kahit sana kaunti pero wala akong makuha. Whoever the EL Ordre’s tracker is, he or she is really good. Sa kanya lang talaga ako nahirapan when it comes to hacking.

Gusto ko talaga na makilala ang tracker nila. Hindi para patayin sya pero para hangaan sya. Kung pwede lang sana na maging magkaibigan kami even after the game. I’m willing to give them my lollipop as a friendship offering.

Pero mukhang malabo. In this bloody game, hindi pwede na maging magkaibigan kami.

I saw the Queen pouted her lips and looked at my computer monitors. “That’s sad. I really wanna know who he is.”

“May I know why, Your Majesty?”

Mabilis syang tumingin sa akin at ngumiti nang matamis. “To kill him of course!” Bakit ba nagtanong pa ako?

Bumuntong hininga ako. Wala talagang magiging matinong mapag uusapan kapag sya ang kausap ko. Kakaiba talaga sya. One moment she’s sweet then one moment she’s crazy.

“Let me know if you’ve got any information about him.” she smiled and hugged me. “Hang in there, Alter.”

Muli akong napaupo sa computer chair ko nang makaalis ang Queen. I feel so drained. Ubos na ubos na ang lakas ko at gusto ko na lang magpahinga. But I know that I can’t. Ngayon na lang ulit ako nakapunta sa computer room ko kaya dapat kong sulitin ang pagkakataon na ito.

Kailangan mabuo ko na ang plano ko before I left this room.

Magsisimula pa lang sana akong maghanap when someone entered the room again. It was Yucca this time.

“I saw the Queen left from here. Did she do anything to you?” Yucca asked. Umiling ako.

“Wala. Nagtanong lang kung alam ko na kung sino ang King ng EL Ordre.” I looked up at her. “Ikaw? May ideya ka ba kung sino?”

She looked at me like I’m an alien. “You didn’t so how would I?”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the monitors. Binuhay ko ulit ang monitor na pinatay ko kanina at nagsimulang magplano.

I don’t know what plan should I do. I don’t even know where to start. Nakikipagtitigan lang ako sa mga monitors ng laptop ko na parang bibigyan ako iyon ng sagot kahit wala naman akong ginagawa.

Shit lang! I really, really need a lollipop. I’m so stressed and I need sweets. O hindi kaya, kahit ang mga labi na lang ni L. Mas matamis din naman iyon kaysa sa lollipop.

“You love him?” Yucca asked. Kahit hindi ko sya tanungin at lingunin ay kilala ko kung sino ang tinutukoy nya.

I just shrugged my shoulders. I really like L. So much. I’m still new with these feelings so I don’t know how to differentiate between love and like.

“You love him.” ulit ni Yucca na hindi na patanong ngayon. Napatingin ako sa kanya.

“I do?” parang tanga ko pang tanong. Eh, sa wala akong ideya!

Yucca smiled at me. “Yes, Alter. You even kneeled and begged just for him. You’re willing to do everything just for him. And I know that you’re finding a way on how you can protect him.”

Hindi ako nagsalita. Is that the definition of love? Dahil lang ba sa nilunok ko ang pride ko ay mahal ko na si L? Dahil lang ba gusto ko syang protektahan ay mahal ko na sya? Iyon lang ba iyon?

Yucca smiled. Nakita nya siguro ang kalituhan sa mukha ko kaya sya napangiti ng ganoon.

“You’re not sure if you love him?” ang nangingiti nyang tanong. “Tell me, Alter. Do you want to protect him?”

I nodded. “Of course. Ayoko syang madamay.”

“Then that’s it. You love him.”

I frowned. “That’s it?” Iyon lang iyon?

Yucca chuckled. Nakakatawa talaga siguro ang itsura kong litong-lito na ngayon.

“You protect someone you love, Alter. You want him to be safe all the time. You don’t want him to get hurt. You’re willing to sacrifice everything, even your happiness, just for him. Love is sacrifice, Alter. It is selfless.”

Natahimik ako. Pilit na iniintindi ang sinabi nya. I sacrificed my pride and kneeled, even begged, to the Queen just for L. I’m willing to sacrifice my rank as a higher piece for him. I’m willing to sacrifice my life just to protect him.

I love L? Mahal ko na sya?

“It is when you feel happiness beside him. It is when you feel like you can be the person that you want when you’re with him. It is when you can be free and be yourself in his presence. It is when you feel like you can conquer everything just for him.”

Nakita ko na maluha-luha si Yucca habang sinasabi nya ang mga bagay na iyon. I know that he’s talking about her feelings for the King. Iyon ang nararamdaman nya noong magkasama sila.

“It was such a wonderful feeling.” she said. Halos pabulong na lang at napayuko na.

“Then why did you betrayed him?”

When she looked at me again, I saw the pain in her eyes. Sobrang sakit siguro ng nararamdaman nya at parang naipapasa pa nya sa akin iyon. I can’t bear to see those pain and sadness kaya napaiwas ako ng tingin.

“I made the wrong decision, Alter. Maling-mali ako. Ang akala ko ay pinoprotektahan ko sya pero hindi pala. I realized that I was wrong. Pero huli na ang lahat.”

Nagulat ako nang kunin nya ang mga kamay ko at hinawakan iyon. May pagmamakaawa syang nakatingin sa akin na hindi ko naman alam kung para saan.

“Please, Alter. Protect the man that you love. Kahit ikaw na lang ang makita ko na masaya. Kahit ikaw na lang ang gumawa ng tama para sa mahal mo. Magiging masaya na ako. Help me get rid of this pain. I can’t take it anymore.”

May tumulong luha sa mga mata nya kaya muli akong nag iwas ng tingin. Sinubukan kong bawiin ang kamay ko pero hindi nya ako hinayaan. She held it tighter like her life depended on it.

“I will help you, Alter. Protect him. Gawin mo ang tama.”

Bumuntong hininga ako at unti-unting tumango. Nakita ko ang pagngiti ni Yucca kahit na may luha sa mga mata nga. She looked so beautiful and so broken. Binigyan ko sya ng isang maliit na ngiti.

“I’ll protect him, Yucca. Kahit hindi ka magmakaawa sa akin.”

She laughed and finally let go of my hands to wipe her tears. “Of course.” muli syang natawa. “Just tell me everything that you will need. Tutulungan kita.”

Tumango ako. She gave me a real smile before she turned her back at me. Pero bago sya makalabas ay pinigilan ko sya.

“Yucca.” I called her. Mabilis naman syang lumingon.

“Yes po?”

I laughed. “You’re getting good with your Tagalog. Pero may accent ka pa rin.”

Sya naman ngayon ang natawa. She flipped her hair and smiled at me.

“He wants me to speak in Tagalog, eh. I’m gonna surprise him when he’s fully recovered.”

“I’m sure you will.”

Nang makaalis si Yucca ay saka lang ako napatawa. Shit lang! Parang dati lang ay tinatawag ko pa sya na traydor. Parang dati lang ay galit pa ako sa kanya. But shit, naiintindihan ko ang mga ginawa nya.

Ibig sabihin ba nito, nagiging traydor na din ako?

I sighed. Itinuon ko na lang ang atensyon ko sa mga computers sa harap ko. I shouldn’t be distracted. I should start thinking of a plan.

Three days. I only have three days.

Chapter 27

I went home feeling worse than ever. Feeling ko ay naging ibang tao ako. I don’t feel like being my jolly self. I don’t feel like eating a lollipop to make myself feel better. All I want is to see L. Feeling ko ay magiging maayos ang pakiramdam ko kapag nakita ko na sya.

Pero wala pa rin si L nang makauwi ako. I don’t want to sleep feeling like this. Hindi ako sanay. Natatakot akong baka bangungutin ako at hindi na magising because of stress and problems. Kaya sana, gumaan man lang ang pakiramdam ko bago ako matulog.

I decided to wait for him in the living room. Umupo ako sa sofa at napatulala. Inaalala ko ang mga nangyari kanina. Pero mas lalo lang bumigat ang pakiramdam ko lalo na nang maalala ang inutos ng Queen sa akin.

I already came up with a plan. Tinupad ko ang gusto ko na hindi lalabas sa computer room nang walang naiisip na plano. I felt so tired after though. Feeling ko ay emotionally at mentally drained na ako.

Masyadong delikado ang plano ko. It might fail. Pero ito na lang ang naiisip ko. All I have to do is to put all my trust to L.

Napalingon ako sa may pinto nang mapansin ang paggalaw doon. From the door, I saw L entered the house. Kung nagulat man sya na nakita akong naghihintay dito sa sala ay hindi ko masabi. His face isn’t showing emotions right now.

Tumigil sya ilang metro ang layo sa akin. He stared at me, mukhang wala nang plano na lumapit pa. So I stood up and walked towards him. Tumigil ako sa harapan nya.

I stared at him. Tama nga ako. Gagaan ang pakiramdam ko kapag nakita ko sya. I felt safe. I felt protected. Nakakatawa dahil ang dami nyang kayang iparamdam na emosyon sa akin by just standing here.

My eyes roamed around his face. Shit lang. He’s really gorgeous. Kayang kaya nyang talunin ang mga Greek gods sa itsura pa lang. His thick eyebrows and those jet black eyes. His pointed nose and a sharp jawline. And his red and soft lips. Shit… I wanna kiss him again.

Hindi ko alam pero bigla na lang akong naluha. Nakakainis. Bigla-bigla na lang eeksena ang mga luha ko nang walang dahilan. Dahil siguro sa nakita ko na si L ngayon at feeling ko ay kayang-kayang nya akong protektahan. Kayang-kayang nyang resolbahin ang problema ko. O baka dahil naiisip kong ilang araw na lang kaming pwedeng magkita.

I saw his brows furrowed. Nagtataka sya kung bakit bigla na lang akong naluha dito. Siguro ay iniisip nyang weirdo talaga ako. Na alien talaga ako. Sabagay. Kahit rin naman ako ay hindi na maintindihan ang sarili ko kung minsan.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. His worried tone made me cry even more.

Shit kasi! He looked emotionless, like he doesn’t care about me, na parang tamad na tamad syang makita ako ngayon. Pero yung tono ng boses nya, iba ang sinasabi. He doesn’t sound like he’s lazy. He sounds concern and that he cares so much about me.

Umiling ako at pinunasan ang epal kong mga luha. Hindi naman ako iyakin, eh! Shit lang! Ang tanda-tanda ko na para umiyak na lang ako basta!

I laughed and hugged him instead. Mukha syang nagulat sa ginawa ko pero mas hinigpitan ko ang yakap ko sa kanya. Inilapat ko ang tenga ko sa may dibdib nya. I listened to his heartbeat. And it made me feel so calm.

“May problema ba?” tanong ni L. Lumayo ako sa kanya para tignan sya pero ang mga kamay ko ay nakayakap pa rin sa kanya.

“What if I tell you that I love you?”

Hindi sya nagpakita ng gulat. Hindi ko alam kung magaling lang ba syang magtago ng emosyon. He just stared at me. Titig na titig sya sa mga mata ko na parang may hinahanap. Bahagyan magkasalubong ang mga kilay nya. His eyes were slightly squinted. He looked so adorable. Ang sarap panggigilan.

He sighed. “Then I’ll tell you that I love you too.”

Parang baliw ako na biglang napangiti pero sumimangot din naman. “Sasabihin mo lang ba ’yon dahil sinabi ko din o dahil iyon talaga ang nararamdaman mo?”

Muntik na akong tumawa nang malakas nang umirap sya! Shit. Malapit na nga yata akong mabaliw! Parang kanina lang umiiyak pa ako pero ngayon ay tatawa-tawa na ako.

“Stupid.” L said. He really looked pissed right now. “I don’t say useless things. It drains my energy.”

Edi napangiti naman ako nang maluwag. Na-gets ko kasi yung sinabi nya. He won’t say that he loves me just because I said it first. Magsasayang lang daw sya ng energy doon.

Then it means that he’ll say that he loves me because that is what he feels for me.

“I love you!” I said cheerfully. Inirapan nya na naman ako pero hinila nya naman ako para yakapin.

“I love you too, lollipop girl.”

I smiled. I will do everything to protect you, L.

I decided to talk to my father the next day. I went to his private office in our house. Feeling ko kasi ay hindi na kami nagkakaroon ng ganitong pag uusap simula nang dumating si L. Eh, kasi naman. Busy akong takasan at landiin si L noon.

“Good morning, Papa!” I greeted him. Nakaupo sya sa swiver chair nya at mukhang may tinatapos nang pumasok ako. Iniyakap ko ang mga kamay ko sa leeg nya at naglambing.

“May kailangan ka?”

Natawa ako pero kunwaring nagtatampo nang lumayo sa kanya. “That hurts, Papa! Parang sinasabi mong may kailangan lang ako sayo kayo kaya naglalambing ako ngayon.”

He looked at me through his eyeglasses. “Bakit? Wala nga ba?”

Napalabi ako. Umikot ako para doon maupo sa  upuan sa harapan nya. “May sasabihin lang naman ako, eh.”

My father sighed and leaned his back on the backrest of the sofa. Tinanggal nya ang salamin na suot at ipinatong iyon sa may table. Then he opened the first drawer of his table and took out a piece of lollipop. Ibinigay nya iyon sa akin.

“Anong sasabihin mo?”

Binuksan ko ang wrapper ng lollipop at inilagay sa loob ng bibig ko. Kinakabahan ako pero hindi ko ipinapakita. I want to tell my father about this. Ayoko na kasing madagdagan ang mga inililihim ko sa kanya.

“May boyfriend na po ako.” sabi kong kabang-kaba.

I waited for his reaction. I waited for him to throw a fit. Na sabihin nyang i-break ko ang kung sino mang Poncio Pilato na boyfriend ko. Knowing how my father protected me. Baka nga paimbestigahan nya pa si L!

Pero hindi nangyari. Instead, he smiled which surprised me.

“Finally! Akala ko hindi na mangyayari ang bagay na ito.” sabi ni Papa na parang may nangyari talagang isang himala.

Nagulat talaga ako! Handa na nga sana akong lumuhod para magmakaawa na tanggapin nya ang relasyon namin ni L! Hindi ganito ang inaasahan kong reaksiyon mula sa kanya!

“Hindi ka galit?”

My father looked at me weirdly. Now I am starting to think that I may really be an alien. Ang daming tao ang nawi-weirduhan sa akin.

“Bakit ako magagalit?” my father asked. “Malaki ka na, Codee. You’re not a child anymore. At alam ko na mangyayari talaga ang ganitong bagay.” he smiled at me. “It’s Mr. L, right?”

Mas lalo akong nagulat. “Shit! Paano mo nalaman?”

Natawa si Papa. “May mga mata at bibig ang Yaya Sally mo, Codee.”

Namula ang mukha ko! Si L naman kasi! Manghahalik na nga lang ay dito pa talaga sa bahay! Kung manghalik pa ay akala mo na kami lang ang tao sa mundo!

Gusto ko na lang sabunutan ang sarili ko nang maalala kung anong nangyari nang huli kaming makita ni Yaya Sally. Shit talaga! Sinabi nya kaya iyon kay Papa? Nakakahiya! Baka itakwil ako ni Papa bilang anak nya!

“Pero sana, maging responsable kayo sa mga ikinikilos nyo, anak. Malalaki na kayo.”

“Hindi nyo pipigilan ang relasyon namin?”

My father laughed. “Bakit ko gagawin iyon? I like Mr. L for you, Codee. Napatino ka nya. Sya lang ang bodyguard na hindi ko tinakasan.”

I pouted my lips. “Tinakasan ko sya pero nahuhuli nya ako.”

“Then that’s better. Hindi ako nagkamali na tanggapin sya bilang bodyguard mo.” his face softened. “Parang kailan lang, ang liit mo pa. Ngayon, may boyfriend ka na.”

Tumayo ako para yakapin ulit sya. Mula sa likod ay pinalibot ko sa leeg nya ang mga braso ko.

“Thank you, Papa. You gave me everything even if I’m not your real daughter.”

“Shh… You’re my daughter, Codee. Anak kita. Iyan ang pakatandaan mo.” tinapik-tapik nya ang mga braso kong nakayakap sa kanya. “You’re the best thing that happened to me.

Mas lalong humigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya. Shit… Kaya hindi ko talaga kayang mamili sa kanilang dalawa ni L. I love them both. I really love my father. Naranasan ko ang pagkakaroon ng magulang dahil sa kanya.

I will protect you too, Papa.

“Oo nga pala.” sabi ni Papa nang kumalas ako sa kanya. “Remember, Pierre? Mr. Acevedo’s son?”

Napadiretso ako ng tayo dahil sa taong nabanggit nya. My body suddenly felt the tension.

“What about him?”

“He’s inviting us for dinner, three days from now. I want you to clear your schedule that day. Kung may date kayo ni Mr. L, i-postpone mo muna.”

I smiled and nodded. Pero sa loob-loob ko ay gustong-gusto ko nang pagmumurahin si Enki.

Nagpaalam ako kay Papa at lumabas na sa office nya dito sa bahay. Baka kasi biglang umalpas ang emosyon ko sa sobrang galit. I don’t want to ruin the moment that we had earlier.

Shit! Enki is on the move. Kakasimula pa lang ng three days na ibinigay sa akin ng Queen pero siniguro ni Enki na hindi ko talaga makakalimutan ang tungkol sa utos ng Queen. He’s telling me not to forget about my mission.

But despite the anger that’s building inside of me, I smiled. Umaayon ang lahat sa plano ko.

I will do everything to protect my father and L. Kahit ang maging kapalit pa ay ang buhay ko.

Chapter 28

I can’t believe how time flies so fast. Feeling ko ay dinaya ako. Feeling ko ay isang araw pa lang ang nauubos pero pangatlong araw na pala. Only a few hours away at matatapos na ang panahon na ibinigay sa akin ng Queen.

It’s terrifying how time seems to accelerate when you’re having fun. Just when you’re enjoying each and every second of your life, just when you are about to grasp and hold onto the moments longer, that’s when it will feel like everything slips away.

But then, there is never enough time when you’re with someone you love.

I spent those three days with L and my father. Pero dahil busy si Papa sa company ay madalas na kami rin ni L ang magkasama. We didn’t go out of town, though. Ewan ko pero were like introverted people. Mabilis na maubusan ng energy.

O baka nahawa na ako kay L.

So we spent the days together without going outside. L is sometimes busy with his laptop pero at the end of the day, we will cuddle and talk about silly things. Kahit na minsan ay parang tamad na tamad syang magsalita at sagutin ang mga tanong ko. Nasanay na lang ako. Maybe he’s just really like this.

We were inside my room, lying on the bed. Nakabukas ang sliding glass door sa veranda ng kwarto ko kaya damang dama namin ang hanging panggabi. It feels calm. Parang napakapayapa ng lahat.

I hugged L tighter. I don’t want to let go of this moment. Kung pwede lang sana na tumigil muna ang oras kahit sandali. I just want to enjoy being with him.

Sana pala ay mas maraming oras pa ang hiningi ko sa Queen. This is the third and last night na ibinigay nya sa akin.

But instead of feeling down, I tried to smile. I let go of my anxiety and worries. This may be our last night together and I want him to remember this as a happy moment.

“Why do you look uninterested with everything?”

I decided to ask him things about himself. Dahil wala pa akong masyadong alam sa kanya. Kahit man lang sa huling pagkakataon ay mas makilala ko pa sya.

“’Cause they’re not interesting.” Ang ikli nya talagang sumagot!

“Ang sipag-sipag mo talaga.” sarkastikong sabi ko. He lightly chuckled and pinched my nose.

“I just don’t want to waste my energy on unimportant things.”

Nangunot ang ilong ko nang binitiwan nya. “Eh, ako? Am I one of your important things?”

Tiningala ko sya at hinintay ang pagsagot nya. Nagbaba sya ng tingin sa akin at hindi muna sumagot. Pero maya-maya ay nagpakita ang ngisi nya.

“What do you think?”

Hindi ko alam kung kailan naging madumi ang utak ko at namula ako sa sinabi nya. I remembered the things that we did! Na bukod pa sa halik ay mayroon pang iba!

“I think I am.” mahinang sagot ko at naramdaman ko ang bahagyang pagtawa nya. Kahit yung pagtawa nya ay tunog tamad pero ang sexy namang pakinggan.

Well, naging basehan ko lang yung ginawa namin na nahuli kami ni Yaya Sally. Tapos yung sa kotse. Hingal na hingal kaming dalawa doon. For sure, ilang ounces of energy ang naubos nya dahil doon.

“Anong trabaho ng parents mo?” tanong ko para maiba ang usapan.

“Is this some kind of interview?” he asked. There’s an amusement in his tone.

Lumabi ako. “Hm. I realized that I don’t know anything about you. Pero ikaw, kilalang kilala mo ako. Nakikitira ka pa nga sa bahay namin.”

“Hmm…” mukha syang nag iisip kaya hinintay ko ang sasabihin nya. “My mother is just a plain housewife. While my father owns a computer company. He taught me things about computers. I got my skills from him.”

“You’re a businessman?” I asked. Pinisil nya ulit ang ilong ko.

“Stupid.” he said. Ikinunot ko ang ilong ko. “My father is the businessman and not me. Although I’m helping him at times.”

I knew it! Sabi ko na at mayaman nga si L, eh. I saw his expensive car ouside our house the very first day that he became my bodyguard! Hindi nya na nga lang nagagamit dahil ang kotse ko ang ginagamit namin.

I got excited. Parang gusto kong sumakay sa kotse nya. Pero naisip kong baka hindi na rin naman mangyari iyon.

L told me things about him. That he’s a graduate of Computer Science course. At nang magtapos sya ay tumulong na sya sa company ng father nya. So overtime, mas nahahasa pa daw ang skills nya sa computer.

Tinanong ko kung paano sya naging bodyguard ko. He said that he took up training for self-defense and protection through his uncle na retired General ng Special Forces. Nagsilbi din daw kasi syang bodyguard sa father nya. At nang masiguro nya ang kaligtasan ng ama ay saka naman may nag-aya sa kanya ng isa pang trabaho. And that is to be my bodyguard.

I really have the feeling na hindi talaga ang pagiging bodyguard ang trabaho nya. Dahil masyado syang magaling kumpara sa mga naging bodyguard ko noon. And looks like I’m right.

Ang saya-saya ko na marami akong nalaman tungkol kay L ngayon. I’m so glad that he let me know things about him, that he answered all my questions. Feeling ko ay mas napalapit kami sa isa’t-isa.

“L, promise me something.” I said nang mga ilang sandaling natahimik kami.

“What?”

Gumalaw ako at pumaibabaw sa kanya. His arms immediately encircled around my waist, holding me in place. Pinakatitigan ko sya gamit ang seryoso kong mga mata.

“Protect my father, L.” I said. Nakita kong kumunot ang noo nya. “Protect him like your life depended on him.”

His eyes showed confusion. Naiintindihan ko naman dahil parang kanina lang ay pinag uusapan namin ang buhay nya pero napunta agad sa ganito.

“My duty is to protect you, Codee.” he said. Tumango ako.

“I know. But if I’m not around and something happened, protect my father. Don’t waste time on finding me. I can protect myself. Alam mo ’yan, diba?”

The first time that we meet isn’t actually that good. Pero sa paraang iyon ay naipakita ko sa kanya na kaya kong protektahan ang sarili ko. All I have to do is to convince him to protect my father.

“Please, L.” I said, almost begging. “Protect my father. Ikaw na lang aasahan ko.”

Tinitigan nya ako. He’s trying to read what I’m thinking pero itinago ko ang emosyon ko. He’s trained at hindi maganda kung malalaman nya ang plano ko.

“Is there anything wrong, Codee?” tanong nya. Siguro ay nahalata nya ang pagiging balisa ko.

Umiling ako. “Just promise me that you’ll protect my father, please.”

Ilang sandali syang hindi nagsalita at nakatitig lang sa akin. Sinusubukang alamin kung anong problema ko. Pero hindi nya pwedeng malaman. Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sa kanya. I will take him away from the danger as far as I can.

“I promise.” he said.

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag at yumuko para halikan sya na agad nyang sinagot. A tear fell from my eyes. Napatigil si L dahil tumulo iyon sa may pisngi nya but I cupped both of his cheeks and deepened the kiss.

I put my trust in you, L.

Enki called me the very next day. Inis na inis na talaga ako sa lalaking ito. Panira sa buhay. Hindi lang kasi pinapansin ng Queen ang mga palipad hangin nya kaya nandadamay. Sinisira ang lovelife ko!

He asked if I need anything for later. Bumuntong hininga ako. Excited pa yata si Enki sa gagawin ko mamaya. Magiging excited pa kaya sya kung malalaman nya kung anong plano ko?

I told him everything that I will need at kung saan nya dadalhin. Kahit mabigat sa puso ko ay sinubukan kong magtunog kaswal ang pakikipag usap ko sa kanya. He must think that I am ready. Na hindi ako aatras sa plano.

Kasama ko si Papa at L na pumasok sa restaurant na pinagkasunduan namin kung saan kami magdi-dinner. I was wearing a short off-shoulder mermaid dress with midnight blue sequins as the color. Hapit na hapit iyon sa katawan ko kaya halata ang mga kurba ko.

Enki was already there. Excited nga sya. Nang makita nya kami ay napatayo sya. Hindi rin nagpapatalo ang kagwapuhan nya pero inis pa rin ako sa kanya.

Magkatabi kami ni Enki pero magkaharap naman kami ni L. Nandoon kami sa side ng bintana. Habang kaharap naman ni Enki si Papa.

They talked about business over the dinner. Sinusubukan pa nilang isali si L pero dahil maikli lang syang sumagot ay mukhang nagpasya na ang dalawang lalaki na sila na lang ang mag usap. I know Enki is purposely not letting me join the conversation ’cause he wanted me to focus on my mission.

“Excuse me. Powder room.” I said as I stood up. Tatayo na sana si L pero pinigilan sya ni Enki at sinubukang kausapin.

“Don’t bother. She’ll be fine. For awhile, let’s talk about your father’s business.”

Hindi ko na sila nilingon at nagtuloy-tuloy sa paglalakad. Nang masigurong hindi nakasunod si L ay lumabas ako sa restaurant using the back exit at pumunta ako sa building ilang metro ang layo mula sa restaurant.

I rode the elevator and pushed the highest floor. Bumaba ako doon and used the stairs para makapunta sa rooftop.

Nakita ko ang duffel bag na nandoon. Nilapitan ko iyon at binuksan. Enki did prepare everything. Gusto nya talaga na maayos ko ang trabaho ko ngayon.

Nagpalit ako ng damit na ipinadala ko rin kay Enki. I don’t want my dress to hinder me from shooting the target. Nagpalit ako ng pants at isang black turtle neck longsleeve na hapit sa katawan ko. Isinuot ko ang earpiece na nandoon.

I took out the sniper gun and assembled it. Nang maayos ay pumwesto na ako. I used the scope to watch what’s happening at the restaurant.

Nakita ko na patuloy pa rin sa pag uusap sina Papa at Enki. Mukhang interesado talaga si Papa sa kung anong sinasabi ni Enki. I bet that he’s saying that he’ll invest to my father’s next project dahil pagkatuwa ang nakikita kong reaksyon kay Papa.

Inilipat ko ang scope kay L. He looked so bored. Para syang batang na-out of place at nakalimutang bigyan ng laruan ng magulang. Palinga-linga din sya sa daan papunta sa restroom ng restaurant na iyon.

It made my heart clenched. He’s waiting for me. Pero wala nang babalik sa kanya. Nanlabo ang paningin ko kaya inalis ko muna ang paningin sa scope at pinunasan ang mga mata ko.

Nakakainis. Hindi man lang kami nagkaroon ng mahabang oras sa isa’t-isa at hindi na ulit magkakaroon pa. I’m sure that after this night, ipapahanap na ako ng Queen para sya na mismo ang pumatay sa akin.

If only I was just a normal person.

“I’m in position, Enki.” sabi ko at muling sumilip sa scope. Itinutok ko iyon kay L.

Hindi nagsalita si Enki. Of course, kaharap nya sina Papa at L. Hindi sya pwedeng makipag usap sa akin pero alam kong narinig nya ako.

I took a deep breath and move the focus of the scope to my real target.

Si Enki.

Pero mukhang nakaramdam ang loko. Nakita kong yumuko sya at narinig ko ang boses nya sa earpiece ko.

“Huwag kang magkakamaling traydurin kami, Alter. The Pawns are inside this restaurant. They’ll kill your father if you do anything stupid.”

Hindi ako nagsalita at ngumisi na lang. I know. Alam kong hindi lang sya ang nakabantay kay Papa. Kaya nga hiniling ko kay L na protektahan nya si Papa laban sa kanila.

I move the scope again to L para sana sa huling sulyap na lang. Noong una ay mariin syang nakatitig kay Enki na umayos na ng upo ngayon. Pero nagulat ako nang biglang tumingin si L sa direksyon ko.

Shit!

Parang nagtama ang mga paningin namin kahit imposible dahil sobrang layo ko. Feeling ko ay nakatingin talaga sya sa akin. But it’s impossible, right? Malayo ako! Gabi pa! At imposibleng alam nya kung nasaan ako!

“Shoot, Alter!” I heard Enki’s voice from my earpiece. Pero hindi ko magawang itutok ang baril sa kanya.

I froze. Nanginig ako sa mga mata ni L na nakikita ko sa scope ng sniper!

He looks deadly to me. Sobrang seryoso nya na parang hindi pa nya nararanasang tumawa simula nang ipinanganak sya!

“Shoot, Alter! What’s taking you so long?” Enki hissed.

“E-enki, s-si L—” sasabihin ko sanang nakikita ako ni L nang may maramdaman akong matigas na bagay na dumikit sa ulo ko.

“Sige ituloy mo pero sasabog ’yang utak mo.”

Nahigit ko ang paghinga ko. Hindi ako makagalaw. Alam kong baril ang nakatutok sa ulo ko pero hindi ko kilala kung sino ang may hawak noon.

“Alter, I heard a voice! Who’s that?” rinig kong tanong ni Enki.

I gulped. “Someone is here, Enki.” lakas loob kong sagot kahit na may nakatutok na baril sa ulo ko. Hindi pa naman sumasabog ang utak ko kaya okay lang siguro na makipag usap ako kay Enki.

“What? Stop shitting on me!” galit na sabi ni Enki. Mula sa scope ay nakita kong nagulat si Papa. Siguro ay nasabi iyon ni Enki nang malakas.

“I am not shitting on you, shithead!” galit kong sabi. Nanganganib na nga ang buhay ko dito tapos aakalain nya pang nagbibiro ako?!

“Move.” I heard the man from my back. “Tayo.”

Ginawa ko ang sinabi nya. Unti-unti kong inalis ang daliri ko sa trigger ng sniper at dahan-dahang tumayo habang nakataas ang dalawang mga kamay ko.

“Harap dito.” utos ulit ng lalaki. Humarap ako at na-realize kong mali ako.

There are three men in front of me.

One who was wearing a hoodie with a dark brown hair and a brown eyes. He was smiling at me. Ang isa naman na nakatanaw sa baba at naninigarilyo ay mukhang maangas. Ahit ang isang gilid ng buhok nya at may stud earrings sa tenga. Habang ang isa naman na tinututukan ako ng baril ay may pilat sa ilalim ng kaliwang mata pababa sa chin nya. Seryosong seryoso ang mukha nya na parang nakahandang patayin ako.

“W-who are you?” lakas-loob kong tanong habang palipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanilang tatlo.

The man in a hoodie smiled at me.

“We are the EL Ordre’s Pawns. Nice to meet you, miss.”

Chapter 29

I stared at the three men in front of me, dumbfounded. I don’t know how and what to react. Hindi ko akalain na makakatagpo ako ng myembro ng EL Ordre ngayon! At tatlo pa talaga sila!

Tinitigan ko sila isa-isa. This is the only time that I saw their bare faces. Usually kapag nakikita ko sila sa CCTV footage ay naka-black mask ang mga mukha nila na kalahati lang ng mukha ang nakikita.

Pero shit lang! I can’t deny the fact that they are all good-looking! Kahit yung may pilat sa mukha. He’s gorgeous too! Para pa ngang mas gwapo syang tignan dahil sa peklat nya!

But shit! This is not the time to admire them! I’m in danger. Nanganganib ang buhay ko. At sigurado akong hindi ko kakayanin ang tatlong lalaking ito. I’m not used in fist-fighting dahil palagi na lang akong nasa computer room ko tuwing may mission kami! Wala nang time para mahasa ang combat skills ko!

Shit talaga! Why is this happening to me?!

“Mali! Mali pala!” biglang sigaw nung naka-hoodie kaya naagaw nya ang atensyon ko. Itinuro nya ang lalaking may pilat sa mukha. “Ako at si Viper, sigurado akong mga Pawn kami. Pero si Aius…” he looked at the guy with stud earrings. “Pawn ka din ba, Aius?”

Ang lalaking mukhang maangas na naka-leather jacket ay nagkibit lang ng balikat nya. He threw his cigarette butt on the floor and stepped on it para patayin ang sindi.

Hindi ko pa rin alam kung paniniwalaan ko ang mga nangyayari. I mean, how did they know that I’ll be here? Si Enki lang ang sinabihan ko kung saan ako pupwesto ngayon!

“EL… Ordre?” I asked. Trying to make sure that I heard it right. Napatingin ang tatlong lalaki sa akin.

“Oo, miss.” ang lalaking naka-hoodie ang sumagot. “Mababait naman kam— Ibaba mo nga ’yan!” sabi nya doon sa lalaking may pilat dahil hanggang ngayon ay nakatutok pa rin ang baril sa akin.

I saw the man glared at me before he put down his gun. Pero ang mga mata naman ay nakatuon sa akin. And his eyes look… Evil but mysterious.

“Pagpasensyahan mo na si Viper. Iba talaga mag isip ’yan. Pero huwag kang mag-alala, miss.” sabi ulit nung lalaking nakasuot ng hoodie. “Hindi kami nananakit ng mga babae. Minamahal lang namin sila.”

Natawa ang lalaking mukhang maangas. “Fucker! Ganyan ba talaga ang napapala ng pag-aasawa? Nagiging corny?” umiling-iling pa sya.

“Sa ating lahat ikaw na lang ang hindi pa nag-aasawa kaya mas weirdo ka!” said the man in a hoodie.

Nagsimulang magtalo ang dalawang lalaki na mukhang nakalimutan na ang tungkol sa akin. They are saying a bunch of useless things like who’s the most handsome of them all, who’s better in seducing women, and who got the most number of flings.

Napatingin ako sa lalaking may pilat na mariin pa rin ang tingin sa akin pero may inis sa mga mata para sa dalawang lalaking nagtatalo. He looked like he wanted to stop them to talk about me pero hinayaan nya na lang.

Are they really… The EL Ordre?

They didn’t look like one. I mean I imagined their members as a violent people. They killed our men. They killed our members. First are our Pawns, then the Rook and the other Knight. I imagined them as the people that will kill their enemies in an instant. Hindi ganitong… Para silang mga bata.

“Ah, oo nga pala!” the man in a hoodie said. “I think that we need to introduce ourselves. This is Viper, the psychopath.” itinuro nya ang lalaking may pilat na agad na napatingin sa kanya. “This is Auis, the unknown.”

“Hoy—” pagtutol ng lalaking may pangalang Auis pero tinapik sya sa balikat ng lalaking naka-hoodie.

“Unknown ang chess piece mo, eh.” Then he looked at me and tapped his own chest. “And I am Archer. The sexy sniper.”

I heard both Aius and Viper sighed simultaneously. Pero may inis sa mga mukha nila habang nakatingin kay Archer na malaki pa rin ang ngisi. Like he’s really proud of what he had said.

“Shoot him, Viper.” Aius said, looking really pissed.

“Good idea.” sabi ni Viper na agad na itinutok ang baril kay Archer na nanlaki ang mga mata.

“I’m just kidding!” Archer said while stepping back. But Viper took a step towards him. “Fuck, Viper! Don’t tell me na bumabalik ang sakit mo!”

Nagsimulang magpangbuno ang dalawa at nag agawan sa baril. I was shocked as hell! Hindi ko alam kung nakakasa ba ang baril. Hindi ko alam kung magtatago na ba ako dahil baka biglang pumutok ang baril at ako pa ang matamaan. At hindi ko alam kung mananatili na lang ba akong nakatanga sa kanila at panoorin silang mag agawan ng baril!

They are unbelievable! Parang hindi sila yung EL Ordre na nakikita ko sa CCTV footage at nakikipaglaban! All I can see right now are just a bunch of idiots!

Okay lang ba sila?

“Alter! What’s happening?” I heard Enki’s voice in my earpiece. Nakalimutan ko na ang tungkol sa kanya. “Don’t you dare betray us!”

This shithead! Wala syang ibang inaalala kundi ang Queen nya! I am here in the hands of our enemies pero ang ikinatatakot nya ay ang bumaligtad ako. Alam nya kasing mapapahamak ang Queen nya kapag nagkataon!

“Shut up, Enki!” sigaw ko kaya napatingin ang tatlong lalaki sa akin. Natigil din sina Archer at Viper sa pag aagawan ng baril.

“May kausap ka?” Aius said. He’s using a friendly tone but I didn’t answer him. “Can I talk to him?”

Itinuro nya tenga nya kaya alam ko na alam nyang may suot akong earpiece at doon nakikipag-usap kay Enki.

When I didn’t answer again, he sighed. He walked towards me kaya napaatras ako. Napatigil naman sya sa paglapit sa akin.

“I want to talk to whoever you’re talking to. Please.”

I stared at him. He gave me a kind smile pero nakita kong nananantya ang mga mata nya. Na hindi talaga sya lalapit sa akin kung ayaw ko.

And I got confused. I was so sure that they will kill me earlier. Pero hindi nila ginawa. Hanggang ngayon ay buhay pa ako at hindi ko alam kung bakit.

Auis took a step towards me again. Maliliit ang paghakbang nya, giving me time to step back if I feel uncomfortable. Pero hindi ako umatras at nakatitig lang sa kanya. Hindi bagay sa kanya ang pagiging mahinahon dahil sa maangas nyang itsura. Napatingin din ako kina Archer at Viper. Wala na ang baril at hindi ko na makita kung nasaan.

Nakalapit si Auis sa akin at marahan nyang tinanggal ang earpiece sa tenga ko. Hindi nga dumikit sa balat ko ang kahit dulo ng daliri nya. Naramdaman ko na lang ang pagtatanggal nya ng earpiece. Mabilis syang lumayo sa akin nang makuha nya iyon.

“I am Aius from EL Ordre.” sabi nya nang isuot nya ang earpiece. “We got your tracker. Give us our Rook back in exchange of her.”

Ilang sandaling natahimik si Aius while listening to Enki. Nakita kong tumatalim ang tingin nya sa bawat segundong pakikinig nya. Then his jaw move as he clenched it.

“Asshole!” he hissed at marahas na inalis ang earpiece sa tenga nya. Nagulat ako nang tapakan nya iyon nang malakas.

Wasak ang earpiece ko!

“What happened?” Viper asked to Aius who seemed so enraged right now. Nakakuyom ang mga kamao nya, mahigpit kaya nagpapakita ang mga ugat sa braso nya.

“The asshole said that he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Wala daw silang ibabalik sa atin. And that we should just kill her.” Aius jerked his heard towards my direction.

I heard Archer whistled and muttered “smooth.” Nadagdagan ang inis ko dahil doon. I am so fucking pissed at Enki. Hindi ko akalain na masasabi nya ang bagay na iyon!

I’m okay if they will not hand the Rook back to them in exchange of me. I’m okay if they will not take me back and rescue me. Pero ang hindi okay sa akin ay iyong sabihin nyang patayin na lang ako na parang walang mapapala sa akin ang EL Ordre!

Or is he afraid that I will betray them?

Then you shouldn’t have said that, Enki! Right now, nanghihinayang ako na hindi pa kita pinatay kanina!

You, heartless bastard!

“What should we do about her, then?” Viper asked. Kung makapagtanong ay akala mo na wala ako sa harapan nila.

“Fourth, anong gagawin namin sa kanya?” Archer suddenly said. Napakunot ang noo ko.

Who’s Fourth? May pang apat ba silang kasama?

But I realized that Archer is wearing an earpiece. At ang Fourth siguro ay ang nasa kabilang linya.

Tumingin sa akin si Archer. “Sumama ka na lang daw sa amin.” sabi nya na parang nagyayaya lang sa kakilala.

Mabilis akong umiling. “Ayoko.” Ano akala nya sa akin? Tanga? Sasama na lang sa kalaban basta-basta? Hindi ko nga sila kilala!

At kaaway ko nga sila! Kalaban! They are from EL Ordre and I’m from The Red Faction!

“Ayaw daw, Fourth.” nakinig ng ilang sandali si Archer bago ko nakita ang pagsimangot nya.

“Anong sabi?” Aius asked. Nakita rin ang pagsimangot ni Archer.

“Isama daw natin but don’t fowce hah. “ nangunot ang noo ko nang bigla syang mag-British accent. Tapos ay natawa sya sa sarili nya. “Don’t force her daw.”

“Kapkapkan nyo muna kung may baril.” Viper suggested.

“Gago! Gusto mong mapatay tayo ni L?”

I froze. L?

“Sinong L?” I asked. Hindi ko na naisip na mga kalaban nga pala ang nasa harapan ko. Kabang-kaba ako habang hinihintay ang sagot nila.

Hindi naman siguro yung L na kilala ko diba? It’s just a codename.

Archer looked at me. “Si L. ’Yung pagkatapos ng K at bago mag-M sa alphabet.” he looked at Viper again. “Wala ’yang baril bukod sa sniper. Nakita nyo naman diba?”

Suddenly, all three men were not looking at me. Mukha silang balisa at hindi mapakali. They were slightly fidgeting. Mukha silang mga tanga kaya tinanong ko na.

“Ano bang nangyayari sa inyo—”

Napatigil ako. Naalala ang ginawa ko kanina. My face heated from the embarrassment!

“Holy shit?! Nakita nyo akong nagbibihis?!” tumataas ang tono ng boses ko habang tinatanong sila. “Mga manyak!”

Nanlalaki ang mga matang napatingin sa akin si Aius. “Alam ba naming magbibihis ka? Tsaka hindi kami interesado sa katawan mo!”

Halo-halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko at hindi ko alam kung anong unang uunahin na pagtuunan ng pansin! Ang daming nangyayari na hindi kayang ipaliwanag ng utak ko!

“Miss, sama ka daw sa amin sabi ni Fourth.” Archer said.

“Ayoko nga sabi!”

“Huwag mo nang pasamahin kung ayaw!” Ang galit na sabi ni Aius. “She called us manyak? Kami ba ang naghubad in an open space?!”

Natawa si Archer at tinapik sa balikat si Aius. “Chill, fucker. Manyak ka naman talaga.”

“Sumama ka sa amin.” itinutok ulit sa akin ni Viper ang baril na nagpataranta kay Archer.

“Huwag mong takutin!’

Bigla na lang natahimik si Auis at napatingin sa likuran ko. I smelled a familiar scent. Doon nagmumula sa likod ko kaya naisip kong may tao na nakatayo doon. My heart race at lilingon na sana ako sa likod nang may biglang nagtakip ng panyo sa ilong ko.

Shit!

“Kung ayaw sumama, patulugin na lang.” Aius said.

Sa nanlalabong paningin ay may nakita akong isang mukha. Maybe deep inside me, I’m hoping that he’ll come here and rescue me. Kaya siguro bago ko ipinikit ang mga mata ko ay nakita ko ang mukha nya.

It was L. Bumagsak ako sa mga bisig nya at doon nawalan ng malay.

Chapter 30

An unfamiliar ceiling was the first thing that I see when I opened my eyes. Bago ko pa maproseso kung nasaan ako ay naramdaman ko ang pagkirot ng ulo ko. I groaned and touched my head hoping that it could stop the throbbing.

Shit lang! What happened?

“Ah, you’re awake.”

Napatingin ako sa nagsalita at nagulat nang hindi pala ako nag-iisa sa loob ng estrangherong kwartong iyon. May lalaking nakaupo sa may coffee table sa dulo. The man is awfully familiar. Nang mamukhaan ko sya ay saka ko lang naalala ang lahat.

I was doing my mission. According to the Queen, it’s a special mission that she gave me herself. She ordered me to kill L in exchange that she’ll spare my father. Pero hindi ko ginawa.

I’ve never killed anyone before. Hindi pa ako nakapatay ng tao gamit ang sarili kong mga kamay. Although I am guilty. Dahil sa lahat ng mga pinatay ng mga members ng Red Faction ay katulong nila ako. I was always supporting them. Giving them informations and guide that they needed.

But when the Queen involved the important people in my life, I rebelled. Handa akong talikuran sila. And I felt awful. I feel like I’m a hypocrite. I am so selfish. Sinusunod ko dati ang mga utos ng Queen nang walang anumang pagtutol. I gave her informations about the people that hinders her plans. Alam kong may gagawin syang hindi maganda sa kanila pero wala pa rin akong sinabi. But now… It’s different.

Mga mahal ko sa buhay ang dinamay nya. Kaya hindi ko kayang manahimik na lang.

My plan is very simple. To kill Enki instead of L. Alam kong naghanda sya ng back up plan kung sakaling talikuran ko sila. Kaya may mga Pawn na nakapaligid sa restaurant na iyon. So that they will kill my father or L kapag hindi ako sumunod sa plano.

That’s why I asked L to protect my father. I know that he can protect him. Nakita ko kung paano sya makipaglaban. Kayang-kaya nyang makipagsabayan kay Enki when it comes to combat skills. And I know that L will protect my father as long as he can.

Nakahanda na sana akong traydurin ang Red Faction. I was ready to kill Enki and hide after that. Kung mahuli man ako ng Queen ay bahala na. At least I’ve protected the two important people in my life.

I can take everything just for them.

Pero dumating ang EL Ordre. My plan was ruined.

“Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you need anything?”

Napatingin ulit ako sa lalaking kasama ko sa loob ng kwartong ’to. He’s Archer. Iyon ang natatandaan kong pakilala nya sa akin kanina. Kung kanina man nga nangyari iyon.

Hindi ko sya pinansin at bumangon para umupo sa dulo ng kama. My eyes roamed around the room. Malaki ang kwarto at kumpleto sa mga gamit. May sariling banyo sa loob. There’s even a walk in closet inside the room kaya masasabi kong malaki ang bahay na ito.

“Where am I?” I asked still looking around the room.

Bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto at pumasok doon ang dalawa pang pamilyar na lalaki sa akin. It was Aius and Viper. Nang makita ako ni Aius na gising ay napasimangot agad sya. Mukhang hindi pa rin nakakalimutan na pinagbintangan ko silang manyak. Habang si Viper naman ay walang reaksiyon ang mukha.

“Naaalala mo ba ang mga nangyari?” tanong agad sa akin Aius. I heard Archer laughed.

“I bet she do. Hindi naman nabagok ang ulo nya para magkaroon ng amnesia.”

But Aius didn’t pay any attention to Archer. Nakatitig lang sya sa akin na may inis sa mga mata habang hinihintay ang sagot ko. Napairap ako bago tumango.

I admit that I overreacted earlier. Wala pa kasing mga lalaki ang nakakakita sa katawan ko ng walang saplot. Shit lang! They saw me on my underwear that’s why I got flustered! Kahit si L ay hindi pa nga ako nakikita sa ganoong ayos tapos mauuna pa sila?

“Do you know where you are right now?” Aius asked again.

Muli akong napatingin sa buong kwarto. It’s not familiar. The furnitures were arranged in an elegant way. Parang nag-hire pa talaga ng designer para doon. Maganda rin ang interior. Kaya nasisiguro kong nasa malaking bahay ako at hindi nasa hotel lang.

Pinakiramdam ko tuloy ang sarili ko nang palihim kung may nagbago ba. Baka kasi mag-react na naman si Aius kapag nalaman nya ang iniisip ko.

I can’t help it! They are men! And I am just a pretty and sexy girl that nobody can resist! Kaya nga nabaliw sa akin si L, eh!

“Tingin mo may panahon pa ako para malaman kung saan nyo ako dinala?” ang inis kong sabi para pagtakpan ang kaba ko. I think I have an idea where they brought me. But I dismissed that thought. Mukha kasing nasa bahay talaga ako ng kung sino.

But Viper confirmed it.

“You’re at EL Ordre’s hideout.”

Maang akong napatingin sa kanila. Their faces show that they are serious. Na totoong nasa hideout nga ako ng EL Ordre.

My eyes roamed around the room again. Parang gusto ko tuloy na lumabas para kumpirmahin kung bahay nga ito. But the room says it all! Malaking bahay nga lang!

I just can’t believe it! They used someone’s house as their hideout? And their security is tight! Kahit anong hanap ang gawin ko noon sa hideout nila ay hindi ko talaga mahanap! Their tracker did his job well!

Samantalang sa aming Red Faction, we used an underground place for our hideout. Walang gustong magpagamit ng bahay nila para sa mas maayos na facilities.

It just means that EL Ordre’s members really trust each other.

I sighed. Pilit kong nilalabanan ang kabang bumabalot sa dibdib ko. I’m in the enemy’s lair. Nasa kuta ako nila at imposibleng makatakas pa ako. Without my computers and gadgets, mahihirapan akong makalabas.

They seemed friendly. Especially Archer. Hindi nya ipinapakita sa akin na kalaban ako. He’s treating me casually. But I bet that he’ll kill me without batting an eye kapag may ginawa akong masama.

Viper looked like he’s used to kill people. ’Yung mga mata nya ay may kakaibang kislap habang tinututukan nya ako ng baril. I was scared at him pero mas natatakot ako kay Aius.

Okay ang pakikitungo nya sa akin noong una. He even made me feel that I shouldn’t be scared of them. Not until I accused them of being a manyak. Nainis sya at doon ko nahalata na may itinatago pa sya. And I bet that it’s deadly.

“Papatayin nyo ba ako?” I asked bravely. Para ngayon pa lang ay alam ko na at makapaghanda ako.

“Depende sa kung anong magiging desisyon ng Red Faction.” said Aius casually.

I frowned. “Anong desisyon?”

“If they take you back in exchange of our Rook.”

I sighed. Ah… I’m a hopeless case.

“Kill me then.” sabi ko at nakita ko ang gulat sa mukha nilang tatlo. Lalo na kay Archer.

“Bakit?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Pero pwedeng humingi ng request bago nyo ako patayin?” I asked them. Nagkatinginan silang tatlo na para bang naguguluhan. “Diba ’yung mga bibitayin binibigyan ng huling hapunan?”

I saw Archer’s puzzled look. “I’m confused.”

I continued. “Is it okay if I asked for three whole pouches of Chupa Chups? Favorite ko kasi iyon.”

“Chupa Chups?” Viper asked. Kunot na kunot ang noo nya.

Tumango ako. “My favorite brand of lollipop. Matikman ko man lang sana ulit bago ako mamatay.”

I just decided to accept my fate. Nandito na, eh. Hindi ko na maiiwasan. Kung tumukas man ako ay maliit ang chance. Baka mas mapadali pa ang buhay ko. At least, I get to eat my lollipop if I die without fighting them.

Kampante akong iniwan ko si Papa kay L. He will protect him. I’m sure of that.

I saw Aius smirked at me. “Looks like for the Red Faction, our Rook is more important than you, Miss Tracker.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi nya. Naalala kong sinabi nya rin kay Enki na hawak nila ang tracker ng Red Faction which is na ako nga. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano nya nalaman ang tungkol akin.

“How did you know that I am from the Red Faction and I am their tracker?” I asked.

Gulong-gulo ako ngayon. Mahirap na ngang malaman ang katauhan ng bawat grupo, ang trabaho ko pa kaya?

Unless, if someone leaked the information.

“Hey, fucker. Let L explain everything to her.”

Napatingin ako kay Archer nang pabulong nyang sabihin iyon kay Aius pero nakarating naman sa pandinig ko. Hindi nakaligtas sa akin ang pangalang binanggit nya. He also mentioned that name before. And for some reason, my heart started beating so fast. Nagsimulang gumapang ang lamig sa buong katawan ko.

No, no. It must be a coincidence. My L is using his nickname for everyone! EL Ordre’s L is just a codename!

But how can I explain that familiar scent that I smelled before I fainted because of the drug?

Maybe, I was hallucinating that time… Right?

Muling bumukas ang pintuan ng kwarto at pumasok ang isang lalaki na sobrang pamilyar sa akin at hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan. Agad nagtama ang mga paningin namin and I can’t see any emotions in his eyes. Napaawang ang mga labi ko kasabay ng mas mabilis pang pagtibok ang puso ko. Kung dahil sa nararamdaman ko para sa kanya o dahil sa sitwasyon ko ay hindi ko alam.

It feels like someone is choking me. Nahihirapan akong makahinga at hindi ko mapaniwalaan kung sino ang bagong dating.

He stopped in front of me.

“L…” I breathe his name. Narinig ko ang panginginig sa boses ko. “D-did you c-come to save me?” ang tanong ko pa kahit na alam na ng utak ko ang mga nangyayari. But my mind and heart still keep on denying it.

Nanatili lang ang titig sa akin ni L. I stared back at him, hoping that this is just a dream. Ang sikip-sikip ng dibdib ko at nahihirapan na akong makakuha ng hangin.

No… My L is not the EL Ordre’s L.

But when Archer tapped him on back, my world almost fell apart.

“Take it slow.” said Archer. Sinasabing dahan-dahanin lang ang pagpapaliwanag sa akin.

I was sitting on the edge of the bed while L is standing in front of me. Nakatingala ako sa kanya habang nakatungo sya at nakatingin sa akin. His eyes feels so… Different. Parang ibang tao ang nakikita ko ngayon.

“Who are you?” my voice broke when I asked him that. Hindi ko akalain na itatanong ko ito pagkatapos ng mga nangyari sa amin.

He answered me. Opposite of mine, his voice sounds so sure and true.

“I am L. The EL Ordre’s Knight and tracker.”

Chapter 31

Hindi ako gumalaw. O baka hindi lang talaga ako makagalaw. I remained unmoving while staring at those jet black eyes. Kahit ang mag-react ay hindi ko magawa. Everything feels so untrue.

Maraming tanong ang namumuo sa isip ko ngayon. Sunod-sunod. Kapag may naisip akong tanong ay may susunod na namang panibago. At feeling ko ay walang magiging katapusan ang mga tanong ko.

Wala akong maramdaman na kahit na ano. Or maybe, I am feeling too many emotions that it’s beginning to make me feel numb. I want to be rational. I want to understand the whole thing. Pero habang sinusubukan kong intindihin ang mga nangyayari ay mas lalo lang lumalala ang pagsakit ng dibdib ko.

And it hurts so bad. Feeling ko ay mamamatay ako sa sobrang paninikip noon. I wanted to get rid of the pain. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano.

Lollipop. I badly need a lollipop.

“You’re a Knight?” I heard Archer whispered. Mukhang wala sa sarili nyang naiusal iyon nang malakas.

But L remained staring at me. His jet black eyes were getting intense with each seconds. I wanted to look away. Feeling ko talaga ay hindi si L ang kaharap ko. Feeling ko ay hindi ko kilala ang taong nasa harapan ko.

But then again, hindi ko naman talaga kilala ang L na nakasama ko.

“Tracer and Shielder are the Rooks. L is the Knight. Kier’s brother is the Queen’s Bishop. And Fourth said that the other Knight is with the Queen.”

Napatingin ako kay Archer na parang malalim ang iniisip. He’s saying something about which pieces are they. This is the confidential information that I need pero parang walang pumapasok sa utak ko.

“Then Fourth is the King.” Archer continued. “Two Rooks, two Knights, the Queen’s Bishop. And the King. Isa na lang ang nawawala.” he looked at Aius na nakahalukipkip while learning his back on the wall. “You’re the King’s Bishop?”

Aius didn’t say anything. He just keeps on looking at Archer. Mukhang hinahayaan nya lang ang lalaki na maproseso ang mga impormasyon.

“I’m sure that you’re not a Pawn.” Archer muttered. Mahina na ang boses nya nang muling magsalita. “You’re a higher piece. Then you can vouch for someone’s freedom.”

“What? You wanted out of the game?”

Hindi agad nakapagsalita si Archer. I was amused by Aius’ tone. Hindi nya iyon sinabi na parang nanunumbat na may gustong umalis sa grupo nila. He said it like he’s actually suggesting it.

And it surprised me even more. Dahil sa aming taga-Red Faction, it is considered as a sin kapag may gustong umalis sa laro. No one has ever vouch for someone’s freedom in our group.

Pero sa mga taga-EL Ordre, iba. They even freed their Pawn and their Rook.

Bago pa makasagot si Archer ay muling bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto. I noticed that the tension rose when another man came in. Napatayo ng maayos si Aius, ganoon na din sina Archer at Viper. Napansin ko naman na hinarangan ako ni L na parang pinoprotektahan sa sino man ang pumasok.

“Is that her?” I heard a baritone voice asked.

“Yes.” L answered.

I looked up to him. L’s broad and muscular back is facing me. I wanted to laugh and hit myself. I can’t believe that I will feel protected in the presence of my enemy.

Tama. Kalaban si L. And we’re both the same. A Knight and a tracker.

Shit lang! I wanted to know so bad who the EL Ordre’s tracker is. Pero sya pala mismo ang lalapit sa akin. He was beside me pero hindi ko alam!

I bit my lower. Shit! I can feel my eyes are tearing up. Sobrang sakit na talaga ng dibdib ko at hindi ko na kinakaya kaya gustong ilabas ng katawan ko ang sakit sa pamamagitan ng pagluha.

I feel so betrayed.

I tried to peek from L’s back to distract my attention. Hindi ngayon ang panahon para umiyak ako. I don’t want to feel vulnerable in their presence. Makikita nila na mahina ako. Na madali akong patayin.

Pero maling desisyon yata ang ginawa kong pagsilip. Dahil parang gusto ko na lang magtago sa likod ni L at kalimutan ang tingin ng lalaking nakatitig sa akin ngayon.

The man looked so cruel and harsh. The features of his face says it all. Na para bang walang awa ang nananalaytay sa dugo nya. He’s just standing there, looking so tall and proud. At habang nakatingin sya sa akin ay hindi ko maipagkakaila ang galit sa mga mata nya.

His gray eyes looked so dark and familiar. That’s when I realized who he is.

He’s the former Rook.

“Move, L.” sabi ng lalaki dahil nakaharang pa rin sa akin si L.

“Leave her to me, Tracer.” he said.

The man named Tracer looked at L. Seryosong seryoso ang mukha nya. Hindi ko man nakikita ang itsura ngayon ni L ay sigurado akong ganoon din ang sa kanya. Para silang nagpapatagisan sa pagtitig. Like they were fighting with their eyes.

Suddenly, Tracer moved. Mabilis ang pagkilos nya at nalaman ko na lang na hinawakan nya ako sa damit at hinila patayo. He was holding the collar part of my shirt. Nanlalaki ang mga matang napatingin na lang ako sa kanya.

“Tracer! Babae ’yan!” Archer shouted but Tracer didn’t let go of me.

Auis and Viper looked alarmed pero walang ginawa para ihiwalay si Tracer sa akin. But their stance is telling me that they are ready in case that Tracer will do something to me. Na parang ako pa ang poprotektahan nila kaysa sa kanya.

L was holding Tracer’s wrist. Nakikita kong sinusubukan nyang tanggalin ang pagkakakapit ng lalaki sa akin pero mahigpit ang hawak nya sa damit ko at mas nasasaktan lang ako kaya tumigil si L. Pero hindi pa rin binibitiwan ang pulsuhan ni Tracer.

“Tracer, let her go.” L said. There’s a warning in his voice na kahit ako ay natakot. But Tracer didn’t seem affected. He’s just looking at me with anger in his eyes. So much anger that it almost burned my skin.

“Ang dami mong kasalanan sa akin, alam mo ba ’yon?”

I can hear him gritting his teeth. Mas humihigpit din ang kapit nya sa akin kaya sinubukan ulit alisin ni L ang mga kamay ni Tracer sa damit ko but he didn’t budge. Napangiwi ako kaya tinigilan ni L ang ginagawa nya.

“I want to kill you so fucking bad.” he said with so much anger. Every words he said is like an acid that’s dripping through my bones. “I want to torture you and kill you so fucking slowly. And even if you die, I will fucking follow you to the depths of hell and torture and kill you again and again.”

Napahikbi ako at napaluha sa takot na nararamdaman kahit na pinipigilan ko ang emosyon ko. The man looked so evil. Ang galit sa mga mata nya ay hindi ko maipaliwanag. Kulang ang mga salita para malaman kung ano ba talaga ang nararamdaman ni Tracer.

But despite his anger, despite his cruel look, I saw something in his eyes. There is pain and longing that he’s trying to hide but it’s slipping away.

Pero mas lalo lang syang nagalit nang makita ang pag iyak ko. Gigil syang napatingin sa akin na parang gustong-gusto na akong tirisin.

“Wala kang karapatang umiyak!” he bellowed which made me flinched.

Naalarma si Archer at lumapit sa amin. Humarap sya kay Tracer at pinalibot ang isang braso sa balikat ng lalaki.

“Let her go, Tracer. Babae ’yan.”

“That’s enough, fucker.” sabi naman ni Aius pero walang pinansin si Tracer kahit isa sa kanila. Parang ako lang talaga ang nakikita nya sa loob ng kwartong ’to.

“Ang daming namatay dahil sayo. Ang daming nadamay! And you’re here breathing and alive! Wala kang karapatang mabuhay dahil sa laki ng kasalanan mo!”

“Stop, fucker! She was young that time!” Archer said, still trying to keep Tracer away from me.

I sobbed. Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko nang makitang mas lalo pang nadagdagan ang galit sa mga mata ni Tracer.

“I said stop crying!”

“Enough, Tracer.” ang malamig na boses ni L ang dahilan kung bakit mas lalo pa akong naiyak. “Let her go kung ayaw mong ako ang makalaban mo.”

Ilang sandali akong hindi binitiwan ni Tracer at tinitigan lang. Tumatagos sa buto ko ang galit sa mga mata nya at naiintindihan ko kung bakit.

We took his brother. At sa tingin ko ay mas magagalit pa sya kapag nalaman nya kung ano ang ginawa ng Queen sa kapatid nya.

Finally, Tracer let go of me. Hindi ko alam na nanlalambot na pala ang mga tuhod ko dahil bigla na lang akong nabuwal at napaupo ulit sa kama. I tried to wipe and stop my tears dahil nakatingin pa rin sa akin si Tracer.

“Pasalamat ka at may respeto pa ako kay L. I can’t kill you even if I want to.” he said. Archer tapped him on the back.

“Leave her to L. Sya na ang bahala sa kanya.”

Inakbayan ni Archer si Tracer at iginiya palabas ng kwarto. Ilang sandali pa ay sumunod na rin sina Aius at Viper sa kanila. When they closed the door, saka lang ulit ako napaiyak.

Shit! I feel so weak! I realized that I am really weak! I don’t know how to fight to protect myself. Hindi man lang ako nakalaban kay Tracer kanina!

That’s maybe the reason why the Queen didn’t let me in the mission as the frontline. Dahil alam nyang mahina ako. At kung hindi lang ako magaling sa computers ay baka nawalan na ako ng silbi sa Red Faction.

Doon lang ako bumawi. Sa pagbibigay ng impormasyon at guidance sa mga kakampi ko. Na-realize kong natakot din ako na mawalan ng silbi kaya ginagawa ko ang mga utos ng Queen ng walang reklamo. Kahit na alam kong mali at hindi dapat. But when the Queen involved my love ones, that’s the only time that I rebelled.

Maybe Tracer is right. I don’t have the rights to live after all the things that I’ve done.

Chapter 32

I tried wiping my tears but it just keeps on falling. Naiinis ako. Gusto kong tumigil sa pag-iyak pero ang mga luha ko ay patuloy sa pagbuhos. Sinubukan kong manatili na nakapikit pero hindi pa rin noon napigilan ang luha ko sa pagtulo.

I remembered Tracer’s words. Ang sabi nya ay wala akong karapatang umiyak at naniniwala ako doon. I don’t have the rights to to feel hurt. I don’t have the rights to mourn for the death of the people na nadamay. Wala rin akong karapatang makonsensya ngayon.

I was the reason why the Queen knows about them. Sa akin nanggaling ang impormasyon. At hindi man lang ako gumawa ng paraan para pigilan sya sa binabalak nya. I was doing my job, not giving a care kung anong mangyayari pagkatapos.

Pero ang kapal ng mukha ko para suwayin ang utos ng Queen dahil idinamay na nya ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. I am so selfish. Ang sama-sama ko.

“Are you okay?” I heard L asked. Kanina pa sya tahimik at parang hinihintay lang ang pagtahan ko. And now that I’m a bit calm, he finally decided to talk.

He took a step forward and reached for me pero tinabig ko ang kamay nya. Nainis pa ako sa sarili ko dahil nakonsensya ako. Napalakas kasi ang pagkakatabig ko sa kamay nya na kahit ako ay nasaktan.

But I tried to remember the anger that’s building inside me. Nagagalit ako sa kanya at sa sarili ko. Naghalo-halo ang lahat ng mga emosyon ko.

“Do you think that I’ll be okay with the situation that I’m in?” inis kong sabi na may halong paghikbi dahil sa ginawa kong pag-iyak kanina.

L didn’t say anything and I don’t know if I should get mad or be thankful. Feeling ko ay mababaliw na talaga ako. Ang dami kong nararamdaman ngayon at hindi ko alam kung ano ang uunahing pagtuunan ng pansin. It’s making me feel numb. Sa sobrang dami ay hindi na ako makaramdam.

I laughed. Why does this feels so unreal? Na ang lahat ng mga nangyari ay hindi totoo. And why does my chest is aching so bad? Diba dapat ay wala akong maramdaman dahil hindi naman ito totoo?

“I feel like I’m only dreaming.” I muttered and laughed without a humor again. Napatingin ako kay L na nakatingin lang din sa akin. Parang inaabangan nya kung tuluyan na nga ba akong mababaliw.

I remembered what he said earlier. Bago pumasok si Tracer. I remembered it all. May sakit na naman na bumalot sa puso ko nang maalala mga sinabi nya kanina. It made me hope that all of this is just really a dream.

O hindi kaya ay sana nagsisinungaling lang si L. That he’s not really a member of EL Ordre and he’s just here to rescue me. Dahil nag alala sya na hindi na ako nakabalik sa table nang magpaalam ako na magbabanyo lang ako habang nagdi-dinner kami.

He’s here to save me. I could only hope, right?

“What you said earlier, is it true?” I asked.

Nanalangin ako na sana ay sabihin nya na hindi totoo. Na palabas nya lang ang sinabi nya kanina para mailigtas ako. I was hoping that he’ll tell me that we will go home after this. Lahat ay inisip ko para lang mabawasan ang sakit sa dibdib ko.

Para kasing pinipiga ang puso ko. My eyes welled up but I tried to control my emotions. Shit! Ang sakit-sakit na talaga!

But L answered differently.

“It’s true.”

Pakiramdam ko ay nanghina ako when he confirmed it. Naubusan ako ng lakas. Kahit isang patak ay walang natira.

The impact of his words can really make me feel shaken. Nanginginig ako. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa galit o sa sakit. Basta. Sobrang sakit dahil feeling ko ay napaglaruan ako.

I smiled at him bitterly. “Sana man lang nagsinungaling ka.” I said. “Siguro ay hindi ganitong kasakit. You should’ve lied, L. Magaling ka naman magsinungaling diba?”

Hindi ko namalayan na may tumulo pa lang luha sa mga mata ko pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon. Mabilis kong pinunasan ang pisngi ko. Hindi na talaga siguro nakayanan ng puso ko ang sakit kaya inilalabas na ng mga mata ko.

L sighed. Agad nyang nalaman ang pinupunto ko.

“I didn’t lie. All that I’ve said to you, it was all true.”

Anger build inside me because of his words. Napatayo ako at galit na napatingin sa kanya.

“Yes, you did! You lied, L!”

“Hindi ako nagsinungaling sayo. I just hid things about me but I never lied. Parehas lang naman tayong may itinatago, hindi ba?”

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Lumapit ako sa kanya at buong lakas na itinulak sya. He took a three steps back. Nagulat pa ako dahil parang hindi naman dapat sya maaapektukhan ng ganoon sa pagtulak ko.

That’s when I noticed his eyes. He looked hurt. He looked guilty. Parang gusto nya akong lapitan pero pinipigilan nya lang.

“We are not the same, L! Huwag mo akong igaya sayo! You purposely approached me ’cause you know from the very start that I am the Knight and the tracker of The Red Faction, right?”

His face softened. Gusto kong batukan ang sarili ko sa kagustuhan na haplusin ang mukha nya.

“It was just a hunch. Nilapitan kita para kumpirmahin.”

The pain that I felt is beyond everything. He just confirmed my thought. Noong una ay umaasa pa ako na sana ay hindi totoo ang hinala ko but I was right. Totoong nilapitan nya ako dahil may plano sya.

Naramdaman ko ang pamamasa sa mga mata ko pero pinigilan ko ang patulo ng mga luha ko. I don’t want to look more pathetic in his eyes. Awang-awa ako sa sarili ko. Feeling ko ay pinaglaruan lang ako. Feeling ko ay walang halaga ang lahat ng mga nangyari. Feeling ko ay isang palabas lang ang lahat.

Pero may karapatan ba akong kaawaan ang sarili ko? Maybe this is my karma. Sa lahat ng mga nagawa ko. Sa lahat ng mga buhay na naidamay ko.

Maybe I deserve this pain.

“H-how…” tumikhim ako dahil pumiyok ako. Naninikip na din kasi ang lalamunan ko sa pagpipigil ng iyak. “How d-did you confirmed everything?”

Mukhang nag-alangan pa si L na magsalita so I prepared myself. Baka kasi mas masaktan pa ako sa sasabihin nya.

“I… Put a bug on your phone.” ang mahina nyang sabi.

Tumawa ako. Pero yung pagtawa ko ay may kalakip na sakit. Dinig na dinig ko kung gaano ako nasasaktan. And maybe, L heard it too ’cause he took a step forward. Umangat ang kamay but I motioned him to stop. Thankfully, he did. I feel like I’ll break down if he touch me. Baka umiyak na lang ako sa loob ng mga bisig nya.

“Kaya alam mo kung saan ako lalabas that time when I was disguising myself. Nagtataka ako kung paano mo nalalaman iyon. That explains why.” puno ng pait kong sabi.

I heard L heaved a deep sigh and when he exhaled, it was like he’s releasing the tension in his body in that way. He did it again pero mas lalo ko lang nakikita ang sakit sa mukha nya.

“Lahat ng pinakita mo, hindi totoo.” sabi ko at tuluyang napaiyak. L tried to take a step towards me again.

“Codee—”

“Call me Alter!” I shouted. The pain in his voice when he called my name is too much. Nandoon ang kagustuhan ko na yakapin na lang sya dahil doon. “Call me Alter, L! Forget that you know someone named Codee Altera Vasco. At kakalimutan ko na rin na may nakilala akong isang Maximilian Elias sa buhay ko!”

Nakita ko ang paghihirap sa mukha nya. Pagkatapos ay hirap na hirap din syang umiling.

“I can’t.” he said.

Hindi ko maintindihan! Ang hirap nyang intindihin! He planned it all, right? He planned everything! Pero bakit mukhang sya pa ang mas nasasaktan ngayon?

“You can!” I shouted at him again. Siguro ay naririnig na ako mula sa labas but I didn’t care. “You can, L! Kaya mo! Nagawa mo nga akong lokohin, diba? Nagawa mong magpanggap. So you can forget about me! You can even kill me!”

Nagulat ako nang maglabas sya ng baril at ikinasa iyon. Maang akong napatingin sa kanya at mahinang tumawa.

What? Is he really planning to kill me? Mukhang wala lang talaga sa kanya ang lahat ng mga nangyari sa amin.

But what surprised me more is when he took both of my hands. He made me hold the gun, nakatutok sa kanya ang dulo ng baril. Then he guided my hands para mailapat ko sa dibdib nya ang dulo ng baril.

“Shoot me. Kill me if it will make you feel better. My life is in your hands now.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at nanginig ang mga kamay kong nakahawak sa baril. I am so afraid that I might accidentally pulled the trigger kaya sinubukan kong bawiin ang kamay ko. But L didn’t let me. Mas hinigpitan nya pa ang kapit sa kamay ko kaya mas natakot ako.

I cried hard. Tuloy-tuloy sa pagbuhos ang mga luha ko dahil sa takot na mabaril ko sya. I started sobbing and with every sob that I made, I can hear my pain and worry for him.

“Let go, L…” sabi ko sa nanginginig na boses.

“Shoot me, Codee. Shoot me if you think that I lied to you. Shoot me if you think that I don’t love you.”

Napahagulgol na ako at nanghina pero binabawi ko pa rin ang kamay ko. But I know that I wouldn’t win against him. Nanghihina na ang katawan ko sa sakit at pinaghalo-halong emosyon.

“You are so unfair. Ang daya-daya mo.” I said in between my sobs.

Sa tingin nya ba na magagawa kong patayin sya? Does he really think that I’ll be able to kill him? I love him so much. Kahit gaano pa kalaki ang kasalanan nya sa akin, hinding-hindi ko magagawang patayin sya. I was willing to protect him before, wasn’t I?

When L realize that I wouldn’t do it, he finally let go of my hands. Mabilis kong ginawa ang ang dapat gawin. I removed the magazine and the loaded bullet before I dissembled the gun. Pagkatapos ay ibinagsak ko iyon sa sahig at napaiyak ng todo.

Nanginginig pa rin ang mga kamay ko. I was really scared! Natakot ako na baka biglang pumutok ang baril at tamaan si L! He is so cruel! Mas lalo nya lang akong pinapahirapan!

“Codee—”

“I said call me Alter!” putol ko sa sasabihin ni L. “Kalimutan na natin ang lahat. From now on, let’s treat ourselves as enemies.”

Nakita ko na bumalatay ang sakit sa mukha nya kasabay ng pagbagsak ng mga balikat nya. He looked so devastated kaya iniiwas ko ang mga mata ko sa kanya. Kung hindi ko gagawin iyon ay baka kalimutan ko ang lahat at yakapin na lang sya.

“I know you’re angry so I will leave you alone for now.” I heard him say. Sobrang hina ng boses nya. “We’ll talk again once you’ve calmed down.”

Narinig ko ang mga yabag nya paalis at nang sumara ang pinto ay nanghihina akong napaupo sa dulo ng kama. Napahagulgol ako kaya tinakpan ko ng kamay ko ang bibig ko.

Sobra akong nasaktan dahil sa ginawa ni L. Parang kay layo na sa isip ko ang lahat ng mga nangyari sa amin. Parang isa lang syang magandang panaginip na saglit lang ipinalasap sa akin.

But maybe, this is really my karma. I deserve it all. I deserve everything.

So I decided to torture myself even more. Inalala ko ang lahat ng mga masasayang nangyari sa amin ni L. His love. His promises. My heart clenched and it made me cry even more.

Yes, that’s it. Dapat lang na maranasan ko ito.

Chapter 33

They left me alone for the whole two days at ipinagpasalamat ko iyon. I tried to find a way out for the first few minutes. Kahit ang tumalon sa bintana ay gagawin ko. But when I saw the security alarm that’s connected to the window, I decided not to do it. Alam ko na magagambala ang buong bahay kapag tumunog iyon.

I don’t know what they’re planning to do with me. Kung papatayin nila ako ay hihilingin ko na bagalan nila ang pagpatay sa akin. They should torture me first before killing me. I don’t deserve an easy death.

But can L do it, though? Kaya nya kaya akong patayin?

I thought of what we’ve talk about the other day. Gusto kong paniwalan ang mga sinabi nya. That he really didn’t lie to me despite the fact that he approached me with an agenda. Na hindi sya nagsinungaling nang sabihin nyang mahal nya ako.

Kasi ako? Mahal na mahal ko talaga sya. That’s why it hurts so much dahil ang taong mismong minahal at pinagkatiwalaan ko ay niloko ako.

It’s hard to trust him again. Lalo pa at magkalaban pala ang mga grupo namin. L broke my trust. He didn’t lie but he deceived me. He deliberately hide the truth from me.

Afterall, one deception can make you doubt everything that a person did.

Dahil inamin nyang nilapitan nya lang ako para makumpirma ang hinala nya, I began thinking that what happened to us were all lies. Ang lahat ng mga ginawa nya ay para lamang mapatunayan lang ang nasa isip nya. That he purposely did that to know things about me.

He bugged my phone. Hindi ko alam kung kailan o paano nya ginawa. But I feel so dumb. I’m a hacker. The best tracker of The Red Faction pero naisahan ako ni L. Ni hindi ko man lang napansin na may mali na sa phone ko.

Or maybe, I just trust him that much. Kaya nang sabihin nya sa akin ang totoo ay sobra akong nasaktan.

I remembered my father. Ano na kaya ang ginagawa ni Papa ngayon? Does L told him about me? Nag aalala kaya si Papa?

I’m so worried about him. Will the Queen still kill him dahil hindi ko nagawa ang utos nya? But something came up! The EL Ordre caught me!

Pero sabagay. Kahit hindi naman ako nahuli ay hindi ko gagawin ang inuutos nya.

I was just staring outside the window and looking outside. Feeling ko ay ako si Rapunzel na nakakulong sa tower. Modern Rapunzel nga lang dahil wala ako sa mataas na tower at ang security alarm ang iniiwasan ko. Tapos maikli pa ang buhok ko.

I sighed. I want my lollipop.

Bumukas ang pintuan ng kwarto at pumasok si Archer na may dala-dalang tray ng pagkain. He smiled at me once before he put the tray on the coffee table. Nakita nya ang pagkain kagabi na hindi ko man lang binawasan. He sighed and put the spoiled food away before looking at me.

“Look, Alter. We’re giving you foods ’cause we’re not planning to kill you. Huwag mong sayangin ang pagkain!” inis nyang sabi na ikinagulat ko.

For all the times na pumapasok sya sa kwarto ay palagi syang may baon na ngiti. He’s making me feel that they don’t really plan to do anything bad to me. Kaya nagulat ako dahil ngayon lang sya nagpakita ng inis sa akin.

“Samantalang si Maria nagugutom sa pagtitipid sa pagkain noon!” bubulong-bulong sya. “Dammit! Bakit ba kasi thirty thousand lang ang pinapadala ko noong una?”

“You’re Archer, right?” tanong ko na nagpatigil sa pagbubulong nya. He frowned but still nodded. “Do you know what happened to my father?”

He sighed. Itinigil nya ang ginagawa nya at sumandal sa pader.

“Nagpapalitan sina Kier at Viper sa pagbabantay sa ama mo.” he said. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. He continued arranging my food. “Kumain ka na. Kier cooked this. He’s a good cook.”

I sighed. Tumayo na ako sa kama at lumapit sa coffee table. Mukhang hindi nya kasi ako titigilan hangga’t hindi ako kumakain. He assists me with my food. Sya pa ang nagbigay sa akin ng mga kubyertos na kailangan ko.

“Man, I miss Shielder “ he suddenly said. Umupo sya sa kaharap na upuan ko. “Trabaho nya ’to, eh. Babysitting our girls. Kaya nga nagrereklamo ’yon na hindi daw sya magka-girlfriend dahil sa amin.”

He laughed but there’s sadness mixed in it. Sinubukan kong balewalain ang mga sinasabi nya. Nabubuhay na naman kasi ang sakit sa dibdib ko at ang konsensya ko. I know who Shielder is. It was their Rook that’s in the Queen’s hands now.

“Sobrang bait ng batang ’yon kahit maloko.” Archer continued. There was the nostalgia in his face before he looked at me. “Did you know that he’s the youngest in the group?”

Of course, I know. That’s why the Queen targeted him.

But I didn’t say anything. Nagsimula akong kumain at doon ko lang na-realize kung gaano ako kagutom. And the food tasted so good! Shit lang!

Pero mukhang walang balak tumigil si Archer.

“Mahal na mahal ni Tracer ang kapatid nya. Kahit naman kami ay ganoon din kay Shielder. We thought of him as our youngest brother. Kaya pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung naging ganoon ang reaksiyon ni Tracer nang makita ka.”

The more he talks, the more I’m beginning to know the EL Ordre. Habang tumatagal ako dito ay mas nakikilala ko sila at ang samahan nila.

They’re treating each other like a family.

Hindi ko maiwasan na mainggit. Ibang-iba ang samahan nila kumpara sa amin. Diba nga at gusto pa nilang mabawi ang Rook nila na kinuha namin? Pero ako? Hindi. Walang pag asa.

I want a team like that too. Na alam kong magtutulungan. Na kapag natapos ang laro ay magiging magkakaibigan kami.

Archer’s phone rang and I noticed his face soften when he looked who the caller is. May nakahanda nang ngiti sa mga labi nya nang sagutin nya ang tawag. Nagpatuloy naman ako sa masarap na pagkain.

“Why is my baby calling, hm?”

Kamuntik ko nang maibuga ang pagkain sa loob ng bibig ko nang marinig kung gaano kalambing ang boses nya. Archer is a person who looks like he would never make a tone like that! Kapag hindi sya nagbibiro ay maihahalintulad na kay L ang seryosong awra nya kaya nabigla talaga ako sa narinig ngayon!

Archer silently laughed at my reaction. I rolled my eyes at him and he chuckled with a sound this time. Pero napatigil din para pakinggan kung anong sinasabi ng nasa kabilang linya.

“Santol na walang buto? Meron ba ’nun?” he winced. “Okay, okay! I’ll buy it later, okay?” he chuckled. “I love you too, baby.”

Nang tinapos nya ang tawag ay nakangiti na sya sa akin. Mukhang malaki ang naging kasiyahan nya dahil sa kung sino man ang tumawag.

“It’s my wife. Naglilihi kasi at nagpapabili ng santol daw na walang buto.”

I nodded. “May asawa ka na?”

“Yes, so I’m off-limits. Don’t worry. Nandyan naman si L para sayo.” he laughed again when I rolled my eyes. Then he swept something in his phone. “My wife. Maria Fatima Cervantes.”

He showed me a picture of a beautiful yet an innocent looking woman. Pero mas nagulat ako sa ginagawa nya. He just told me the name of his wife and even showed me a picture!

I’m an enemy! Bakit parang kinalimutan nya na yata iyon?

“Tracer has a wife too, you know.” Archer said when he put his phone away. “Kambal na lalaki pa ang mga anak nila.”

Natahimik ulit ako at tinitigan na lang ang pagkain sa harapan ko. I was so sure that I’ll be able to finish the food dahil wala akong anumang kinain kahapon. Pero bigla akong nawalan ng gana.

“He finally caught up with his goddess. But he still wasn’t happy because of what happened to his brother. Marami ka talagang kasalanan sa kanya, Alter.”

I pursed my lips. Nagsisi ako na sana pala ay hindi ulit ako kumain ngayon. Na sana ay hindi ko na lang kinausap si Archer kanina. Sana ay hindi ko na lang sya pinansin.

May palagay ako na hindi ko magugustuhan ang mga sasabihin ni Archer.

You did so many horrible things to him, Alter.“ he said. “Dahil sa kanya lang ang katauhang nakilala nyo, ibinagsak nyo naman sa kanya ang lahat ng sakit. The man was so wrecked before. Good thing that his wife was there for him to make him whole again.”

“Stop, Archer. I’m not interested.” sabi ko. Unti-unti ko na kasing nararamdaman ang guilt. But Archer continued.

“You involved his parents in this game. Hindi man lang ba kayo naawa sa kanila? Their game has already ended pero hindi nyo na binigyan ng kalayaan sa laro ang mga magulang ni Tracer.”

“I know about that.” I hissed. Pero nakatakas doon ang takot na nararamdaman ko.

I must hide my emotions. I should stop making myself looking so pathetic! I mustn’t fucking cry!

Shit lang! ’Yung mga luha ko ay namumuo na sa mga mata ko!

“Tracer and Shielder were so young that time! Halos hindi pa nga nagsisimula ang laro. Pero naging madumi kayong maglaro. Nandaya. Nandamay pa ng ibang tao sa kagustuhan nyong manalo.”

I shook my head and tried to speak pero may bikig lang sa lalamunan ko. I tried to speak but close my mouth again. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko.

“And after killing his parents, what did you do? You tried to kill his only salvation, Alter. You tried to kill Artemis. You hack the plane that she’s maneuvering. Do you want to know what would happen to him if you succeeded that time?”

Muli akong umiling. I bit my lower lip to stop it’s shaking. Nanginginig kasi sa pagpipigil ko na huwag umiyak. Shit talaga! Ang bilis kong umiyak!

“Madudurog nyo sya ng sobra. The man really loves his wife so much. Mabuti na lang at hindi ka magtagumpay.”

Patuloy lang ako sa pag-iling. I wanted to cover my ears para hindi ko na marinig si Archer. Kalmado lang naman sya at parang nagkukwento lang pero masakit para sa akin.

Dahil alam ko kung anong mga ginawa ko. I did all of those. I stole the file of Tracer’s parents from the Red Faction’s secured files. I hack the plane of his girlfriend. Lahat ng iyon para masira ang Rook.

We planned to hurt him emotionally. The Queen believed that he wouldn’t be able to take an emotional abuse. Dahil kahit na mukhang malakas si Tracer ay alam namin ang kahinaan nya.

“And after he’s reunited with his love.” Archer continued. “What did you do? You took his brother away from him. You took the only family that he has left. Pinalabas nyo na patay nya. Do you know how hard it was for him to live everyday knowing that he’s the only Sanford left? Hindi. Hindi nyo alam. Dahil hindi nyo pa nararanasan.”

My tears fell. Grabeng konsensya ang nararamdam ko. My conscience is making me feel so crazy. Feeling ko ay mababaliw ako sa sakit at sa guilt na nararamdaman ko.

“I didn’t know…” I said with my shaky voice.

“Good for you, Alter.” Archer said. “’Cause looking at Tracer, I bet he feels a million times worse than what I thought he would feel.”

I cried while shaking my head. Walang tigil ang pag-iling ko. I wanted to deny everything pero tama naman sya. Lahat ng iyon ay ginawa ko. Lahat ng iyon ay ako ang may kasalanan.

I even protected our former Knight so that Tracer wouldn’t be able to find him. Itinago ko ang isang kriminal. That’s makes me a criminal too. Pero wala namang malinis na tao sa larong ito.

“Kaya pasensya na, Alter. I understand why Tracer is so mad at you. Kahit ako naman ay galit sayo. But we respect L. Tracer can’t do anything to you.”

By the mention of L’s name, I cried even hard. Ang sakit-sakit ng puso ko. Parang may pumipiga doon. Gusto ko namang pukpukin ang ulo ko nang paulit-ulit dahil sa konsensyang nararamdaman.

That is when I realized that Archer is emotionally and mentally torturing me. Ang gagawin dapat ng Queen kay Tracer noon ay nararanasan ko na ngayon. Ang sakit-sakit! Pero alam ko na wala pa ’to sa kalahati ng nararamdaman ni Tracer.

Shit! I wanted to stop the pain pero ayoko ding itigil. This is my punishment so I must accept it. Kahit na sobrang sakit ay titiisin ko.

“What did you do to her?” ang galit na boses ni L ang nagpalingon sa amin ni Archer. Hindi namin namalayan na nakapasok na pala sya.

Mabilis akong napatayo ay lumapit sa kanya na parang nakahanap ng kakampi. Nakalimutan na may dinaramdaman nga pala ako sa kanya. I held onto his shirt so tight and cried so hard like a child.

“Hindi ko sinasadya! Hindi ko sinasadya, L!” I said and cried even more.

L held me by my arms and stared at me. Mas lalo akong napaiyak kaya galit syang napatingin kay Archer.

“What did you do to her?!”

“I told her everything that she did to Tracer.”

I felt L stiffened. Mas lalo tuloy akong napaiyak. Mukhang naiintindihan nya kasi kung bakit ako nagkakaganito l. Is he thinking that I deserve to be treated this way?

“L…” I sobbed. “Hindi ko talaga sinasadya. I was… I’m just—”

Sinubukan kong maghanap ng salita para depensahan ang sarili ko pero wala akong mahanap. Napaiyak na lang ako.

There’s no justification for what I did. Kahit ano pang sabihin ko, kahit ano pa ang rason ko ay hindi magiging sapat iyon para maging dahilan kung bakit ko iyon nagawa.

I tried to imagine that happening to me. I tried to imagine me being Tracer. My parents were killed. My love ones almost got killed. Then the only family I had left was taken away from me.

Oh, God. What have I done?

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry!” paulit-ulit kong sabi habang umiiyak.

L has a pained expression in his eyes before he pulled me into a hug. Mas lumakas ang paghagulgol ko nang maramdaman ang init ng katawan nya na parang matagal ko nang hindi nararamdaman. He caressed my hair and comforted me.

“Shhh… It’s okay. It’s okay, Codee.”

I sobbed and say my sorry again. Bakit ngayon ko lang naisip ang mga nagawa ko? Paano ko nagawang mabuhay sa araw-araw na parang wala akong kasalanang ginawa? Why did I even obeyed the Queen’s order na parang wala akong pakialam kung may masasaktan?

“It’s okay. It’s okay…” patuloy na pag-aalo sa akin ni L. Pero parang pati sya ay kinukumbinsi ang sarili nya.

’Cause we both know that it will never be okay.

Chapter 34

L didn’t leave my side even if I have already stopped crying. Pero nanatili lang akong nakatulala. Magkatabi kaming nakaupo sa gilid ng kama na kaharap ng bintana. I was looking outside but my mind is somewhere. Si L ay tahimik lang sa tabi ko. These are the times when I’m thankful na hindi sya palasalita.

Ever since that the EL Ordre had caught me, there wasn’t any minute or second na hindi ko naiisip ang mga kasalanan ko. I wanted to laugh ’cause I’m actually thankful to them. Dahil kung hindi nila ako nahuli at pina-realize ang mga kasalanan ko, baka habangbuhay akong maging oblivious sa lahat.

And it’s scary. Na hindi ko man lang naisip na may nagdudusa nang dahil sa akin.

That time when I hacked the airplane where Artemis Gallagher is, hindi ko rin inisip ang magiging kahihinatnan ng lahat. All I did was to obey the Queen’s orders. Kahit na maraming mga pasahero ang madadamay ay ginawa ko pa rin ang utos nya. Thanks to L and Tracer because they stopped me.

Baka mas lalo kong hindi kayanin kapag mas marami pa ang nadamay noon.

I took a deep breath and sighed. Pero kasabay noon ay ang pamumuo ng luha sa mga mata ko. I pursed my lips, trying to stop the tears from falling. I wanted to tell L everything in a calm way.

“Before I met the Queen, I feel like I was just a nameless kid. Isang putok sa buhok. My mother died when she gave birth to me and I didn’t know anything about my father. Wala din kasing alam si Papa tungkol sa kanya “

Nang magsimula akong magkwento ay nanginginig pa ang boses ko. But I still continued. Dahil mas maiiyak lang ako kapag nanahimik ako at isipin ang mga kasalanan ko.

“That’s why when the Queen came into my life and told me everything about my father, I was very thankful. Finally, nasagot na rin ang malaking tanong sa pagkatao ko. Finally, hindi na ako putok sa buhok. Kasi kahit na inampon ako ni Papa at itinuring na anak, ang hirap pa rin. There’s always a question about myself and the Queen answered all of that.”

Nilingon ko si L na mataman na nakatingin sa akin at tahimik lang na nakikinig. I smiled bitterly and fought the urge to cry. This is the first time that I told someone about this. I didn’t know that it’ll hurt when you’re opening up to someone. But also relieve that there’s someone who’s willing to listen to you.

“I did everything that she said and everything that she wanted. Masaya ako na nababayaran ko ang pagbuo nya sa pagkatao ko. I was happy like a fool. I didn’t stop following her orders. But later on, I realized that even if I’m a Knight, for her, I was just a Pawn.” I smiled bitterly. “Pero hindi ko pinansin. Masaya akong napaglilingkuran ko sya. ’Cause for me, I owe her everything.”

Tears ran down my face. Umangat ang kamay ni L para hulihin ang mga kumawalang luha sa mga mata ko. I didn’t stop him. Ayokong mawala ang isip ko sa pagkukwento kaya hinayaan ko lang sya.

I want him to know me. I want him to know my side even if I know that it wouldn’t justify the things that I did. I just want L to know about me.

“Habang ginagawa ko ang mga iyon, hindi ko naisip ang mga taong maaapektukhan. I was just doing it without thinking. Nasanay na rin akong sundin ang mga utos ng Queen.”

Marahan ang paghaplos ni L sa mukha ko. Magaan lang ang kamay nyang nagpupunas sa mga luha ko. Parang natatakot na mas lalo pa akong masaktan kapag napadiin ang hawak nya. It made want to cry.

“Hindi ko alam na halos masira na pala ang buhay ng isang tao dahil sa mga bagay na akala ko ay simple lang.” I sobbed and another batch of tears fell from my eyes again. I saw L looked so hurt while looking at me. “I was even proud of my skill. I was so proud that I’m the best and only tracker of Red Faction. That they wouldn’t be able to function without me. I was so fucking proud when in fact, I should be ashamed of it.”

Napahagulgol ako. I realized how stupid I am. Pinahalagahan ko ang walang kwentang mga bagay. I made a move without thinking of the consequences. Wala akong pakialam sa lahat noon. Kaya hindi ko napansin ang pagdudusa ng isang tao dahil sa akin. Sa amin.

This is a game and we can’t help but to kill one another. Pero nandamay kami ng iba. And that made Tracer broken.

Paano pala kung sa akin nangyari iyon? Baka hindi ko na kayanin.

“I understand why Tracer is angry with me. Kahit naman ako. Hindi ko mapatawad ang sarili ko. I am so angry with myself.” I looked at L’s eyes. “Sana pala ay hindi ko na lang inalam ang tungkol sa totoo kong ama. Sana ay nakuntento na lang ako sa kung anong meron ako.” I sobbed. Hirap na hirap na akong magsalita. “Sana ay naging ibang tao na lang ako.”

I buried my face in both of my palms and cried hard. Naipit ng mga kamay ko ang paghagulgol na kumawala sa bibig ko pero dinig na dinig pa din kung gaano ako nasasaktan doon.

My chest hurts so bad. Pagod na akong umiyak. Kanina pa ako umiiyak at hindi na ako magtataka kung maubusan man ng tubig ang katawan ko. I wanted to stop crying. I wanted to stop hurting pero malabo. Imposibleng hindi ako masaktan sa mga nangyari.

Kulang pa nga ang nararamdaman ko kumpara sa kung anong nararamdaman ni Tracer.

L pulled me for a hug. His warmth spread through my entire body that reached my heart. Mas lalo lang akong naiyak lalo na nang maramdaman ko ang masuyong paghaplos nya sa likod ko.

“Sshhh…”

“Ang sama ko. Ang sama-sama ko!”

Matagal bago ako kumalma. The pain in my chest is making me go numb. Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko nang kumapit ako nang mahigpit sa damit ni L. I held it like it was my only salvation. Like he could take away the pain that I’m feeling.

When did I became like this? Why did I become a ruthless person? Ang kapal ng mukha ko para sabihan ng kung ano-ano ang Queen, that she’s evil, pero wala lang naman kaming pinagkaiba.

I hate myself so much.

Humigpit ang yakap ni L sa akin na parang alam nya kung anong iniisip ko. He hugged me kaya naiyak na naman tuloy ako.

“Stop saying that you hate yourself.” I heard L said. Mahina at magaan ang bawat salitang binibigkas nya. “Stop saying that you want to be another person. ’Cause if you’re not you, then you wouldn’t be Mr. Vasco’s daughter. We wouldn’t have meet, Codee.”

I sobbed. Sa lahat naman ng mga nangyari sa buhay ko ay nagpapasalamat ako na nandyan si Papa. That he treated me like his own daughter. He gave me everything. And then there’s L na kahit na niloko ako ay masaya pa rin ako sa mga ipinaramdam nya.

Iyon nga lang, hindi ako nakuntento at inalam pa ang buo kong pagkatao.

“I can’t help it, L…” I whispered. “Ang dami kong kasalanan! Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko.”

L held my shoulders and pushed me lightly to give distance between us. Tinitigan nya ako. His eyes, which always looked so lazy, are looking at me softly right now. I bit my lower lip dahil nanginginig na naman iyon sa emosyong ipinapakita sa akin ni L.

He rarely show any emotion other than being lazy. Kaya iba ang epekto sa akin kapag may nakikita akong pagbabago sa emosyon nya.

“And I’m proud of you. You realized your mistakes. You owned up to it. I know it’s hard. Pero kinilala mo ang pagkakamali mo.”

I shook my head. “I’m not proud of it, L…”

He showed me a small and gentle smile. Kahit na nasasaktan ay hindi ko naiwasan ang mapasinghap. He looked so gorgeous. So gorgeous like a hero that could bring my salvation. At parang naniniwala ako na kaya nyang alisin ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.

He deceived me and I’m still mad at him but he still have the same effect on me.

“Of course. But we all made a mistakes in our lives, Codee. Kahit ako. I also killed people.”

I sobbed. “But they’re bad people.”

“Still, it’s a sin. Everyone is flawed. Everyone made a mistake. Everyone made some poor decisions. But you have to be brave enough to accept it in order to correct it. Use it to be a better person.”

I sobbed again. I want to torture myself dahil pakiramdam ko ay doon lang ako makakabawi. But listening to L, he made me feel like I can do something other than torturing myself.

“Do you think… That he’ll be able to forgive me?” Ang maliit na boses kong tanong.

It’s impossible. I know that it is. My sin is unforgivable. But with L, it seems possible.

I want his forgiveness. Gusto kong bumawi. Hindi naman pwedeng hayaan ko na lang ang mga nagawa ko. This time, hindi ko na babalewalain ang lahat. I won’t be oblivious anymore.

And I will do everything ’cause this is the right thing. I want to be a better person.

“I don’t know.” L said honestly while fixing my hair. Iniipit nya ang takas na hibla ng buhok ko sa likod ng tenga ko. “If you really want his forgiveness, you have to try hard. What done is done and cannot be undone. But you still have a chance to correct it.”

I nodded. I know. Hindi ko na mababawi ang mga ginawa ko. Kahit gaano pa ako masaktan, kahit gaano pa ako magdusa, hindi ko na maibabalik ang nakaraan.

“I already know what you did to Tracer when I first approached you.” L continued. “Even I was mad at you. But I saw things behind your sins. I saw the real Codee behind her mistakes. And I realized that you’re a genuine person.” He cupped both of my cheeks and smiled at me. “That’s why I fell inlove with you.”

My tears fell again and L was there to wipe it. Hindi nya hinahayaang matuyo iyon sa pisngi ko. It feels hurt but sweet at the same time.

I don’t deserve him. I’m a bad person and I don’t deserve someone like him.

I love him so much.

Nakarinig kami ng katok sa pintuan bago iyon bumukas. The door opened and we saw Auis entered the room. I’m sure that he saw the tears in my eyes but he didn’t say anything.

Tinapunan nya ng tingin si L and I noticed how L’s expression hardened. Nang muli akong tumingin kay Aius ay nakita kong nakatingin na sya sa akin.

“What is it?” L asked. Hinawakan nya ang dalawang kamay ko and that tells me something.

Whatever Aius will announce, I’m sure that it won’t be good.

Aius took a deep sigh. Muli syang sumulyap kay L before his eyes settled on mine.

“Fourth wants to talk to you.”

Chapter 35

Fourth. I think I heard that name from Archer when they where talking about which pieces are they from the game. Sinabi nya lahat kung anong chess piece sila. Some names are familiar pero meron ding hindi. But I know where I heard that name before.

Fourth. He’s the EL Ordre’s King according to Archer.

Thinking of what Aius had said made me anxious. The King wanted to talk to me. Hindi malabong mangyari dahil nandito ako sa hideout nila. Maybe it was his order to capture me in the first place. Pero dahil sa mga nangyari ay nakalimutan ko na mayroong King na dapat kong harapin.

Our Queen is really interested in him. She always looked flustered everytime she asks me if I already have any information about the King. Kung siguro sya ang nasa sitwasyon ko ay baka tuwang-tuwa pa sya.

But I know that the Queen was just excited to kill the King. Matagal na nyang gustong gawin ang bagay na iyon.

The trip to the room where Fourth is feels like I’m in a horror movie. Na may nag-aabang sa aming halimaw sa dulo ng hallway na iyon. I was right when I thought that the household is big pero nawalan na ako ng oras na pagmasdam ang buong kabahayan.

Aius stopped in front of the door at the end of the hallway. Sigurado ako na sa likod noon ay naghihintay na si Fourth.

Nagsimula akong kabahan nang basta na lang pihitin ni Aius ang doorknob. Hindi man lang kumatok which surprised me. Kapag ang Queen kasi ay nagkakakalyo na muna ang mga kamay namin sa pagkatok sa pintuan bago nya kami papasukin.

L and I followed him inside the room. It seems like a mini office. May office table sa dulo at ang dalawang mahabang sofa na magkaharap para sa mga bisita. There’s a single sofa at the end and a coffee table in the middle with a chess board on it.

Napansin ko na may iba pang mga tao na nandoon na sa pagpasok namin. Archer is there who nodded at me as an acknowledgement. Tracer is here too who looked at me with such anger in his eyes. Iniiwas ko ang paningin ko sa kanya dahil kahit na malayo ang distansya namin ay nararamdaman ko pa rin ang init sa galit sa abo nyang mga mata.

Then there’s a man who’s eyes were the only thing that’s familiar to me. I always noticed his mismatched eyes when I’m watching him through CCTVs. Kahit nakatakip ang kalahati nyang mukha ng itim na mask ay nakakaagaw pa rin naman ng pansin ang magkaibang kulay ng mga mata nya.

Only Viper isn’t here. Maybe he’s guarding my father. So the man with mismatched eyes must be Kier.

Then my gaze shifted to the only man who’s sitting on the sofa. His legs were crossed as he stared intently at the chess board on the table. Sa tingin ko ay wala naman syang kalaban at pinag-aaralan lang ang mga pieces sa board.

Then he looked at me and I immediately noticed his sea-green eyes. His sandy-colored hair suits his pale skin. His eyebrows were slightly thick and has a pointed nose and a pinkish lips. He has a sharp jawline which add to the intimidating aura that he’s giving me.

Even when sitting, I could feel the authorization in him. Para bang sya lang ang dapat na magsalita at dapat na sundin namin ang lahat ng utos nya. Para bang sya lang ang dapat na masusunod.

I’m sure that this is Fourth.

He stood up at halos wala sa sariling napaatras ako. Kung nakaka-intimidate na sya kahit nakaupo lang, ano pa kaya kapag nakatayo na sya? And shit lang, he’s tall!

Fourth smiled at me and offered me his hand. Napatitig ako sa mga ngiti nyang parang may itinitago. Hindi ko alam kung sinasadya nyang makita ko iyon or he’s just bad at concealing emotions. But I bet that it’s the first one.

Fourth tried to gave me a light aura pero hindi sya nagtagumpay. Masyadong malakas ang pagka-intimidating nya. Sa sobrang lakas ay nakakatakot. Kung ang Queen namin ay harap-harapan ang pagiging masama, si Fourth naman ay mukhang patago.

He has the aura and the stance of a King.

“Nice to finally meet you, Alter.” Fourth said with a thick British accent. “I am Fourth of EL Ordre.”

I accepted his hand for a handshake. Pinigilan ko ang panginginig ng kamay ko. If he noticed it or not, hindi nya ipinakita sa mukha nya.

“I am Alter of Red Faction. A Knight and a tracker.”

Saglit lang na naglapat ang mga kamay namin bago bumitiw din. I hid my right hand at my back. Mas lalo lang kasing tumindi ang panginginig noon pagkatapos ng handshake namin ni Fourth.

At shit lang! Hindi ko napansin na hindi na pala ako humihinga sa sobrang kaba!

Shit! Is this how the King of EL Ordre? Aura pa lang pero nakakatakot na!

But I calmed down when I felt L’s hand intertwined with mine. He lightly squeezed it kaya tuluyang nawala ang kabang nararamdaman ko at nagkalakas ng loob akong magtanong.

“Aius said that you wanted to talk to me.”

Fourth nodded. “Surely, we have something to talk about.” He looked at L, Archer and Kier. “Leave us. Aius and Tracer will remain.”

Nagsimula akong mag-panic. Kakakalma ko nga lang dahil hinawakan ni L ang kamay ko like he’s comforting me pero paaalisin nya agad. I know that this should be a closed door meeting pero ayoko sanang umalis si L.

I’m scared. Ayokong maiwan dito kasama si Fourth at Tracer.

“I’ll stay here.” matatag na sabi ni L kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. He looked so determined na parang hindi nya matatanggap kung paaalisin lang sya.

Fourth stared at L before he sighed and nodded. “Kier and Archer, please leave.”

“Stay na din ako.” sabi ni Archer pero tinapik sya ni Kier sa balikat at bumulong. He looked around and realized something before he left the room with Kier.

Maybe he realized that they were a Pawn at mga higher pieces na ang maiiwan kasama ko.

“Have a seat.”

Fourth motioned us to seat on the sofa across him. I did what he said. Medyo nanginginig na din kasi ang mga tuhod ko. Natatakot ako na baka bigla na lang akong mabuway.

L didn’t let go of my hand. Nakita tuloy iyon ng lahat dahil ipinatong nya ang magkahawak naming mga kamay sa hita nya. Fourth glanced on it before he smiled and looked at me.

“It is nice to have your presence here in our abode, Alter. A member from the Red Faction.”

I didn’t say anything. Wala naman akong sasabihin. Baka kapag nagsalita pa ako ay ma-offend ko sya. Fourth’s smile never left his face pero alam ko na hindi iyon totoo. Na may nakatago sa mga ngiti nya.

“Do you fancy your stay here?”

Hindi agad ako nakapagsalita. Wala sa sariling napatingin ako kay Tracer na masama ang tingin sa akin. His jaw was clenching and it looks like he was just stopping himself from doing anything bad to me.

I bet that he really hates me to the core. Naiintindihan ko naman. I deserve his wrath.

Napatagal siguro ang pagtitig ko kay Tracer dahil napansin iyon ni Fourth. He glanced at Tracer before he looked at me with a concern in his eyes.

“Does his presence gives you any distress? Should I make him leave?”

Mabilis akong umiling. Ayoko nang palakihin pa ang galit ni Tracer sa akin. I looked at Fourth.

“What do you want us to talk about?” I asked.

Fourth smiled at me. No. It looked like he was actually smirking. It’s like he’s planning something evil.

With a smile, Fourth answered my question.

“Give back what you took from us. Give Shielder, our Rook, back. We all know that he’s alive.”

Napahigpit pala ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay ni L habang pinapakinggan si Fourth. He squeezed my hands back.

Their Rook is really important to them. Hindi ko alam na ganito ang magiging epekto sa kanila sa pagkawala ng Rook nila. They all looked worried and relieved at the same time. Worried that their Rook is still the Red Faction but relieved that he’s actually alive.

At talagang nakipag usap pa sa akin ang King dahil dito.

But sadly, I shook my head. “I don’t know where he is.”

Agad na nag-react si Tracer dahil sa sinabi ko. He took a step forward like he’s going to get near me. Mabilis syang pinigilan ni Aius at si L naman ay napatayo din para iharang ang katawan nya sa pagitan namin.

“Don’t fucking lie!” I heard Tracer shouted. “Don’t try to lie or I’m gonna fucking kill you!”

“Enough, Tracer!” mariin na pagkakasabi ni Aius.

“Hindi ko talaga alam!” sabi ko. “The Queen hid him! Hindi ko na alam kung nasaan sya!”

“Liar! Stop lying, you witch!” muling pagwawala ni Tracer.

“I said stop, Tracer!”

Nagulat ako sa pagsigaw na iyon ni Aius na parang buong kalamnam ko yata ang natakot dahil sa pagsigaw nya. He sounds so powerful. Nagpalala pa ang pagiging maangas ng itsura nya.

I looked at Fourth and saw the corner of his lips rose. Nakatingin sya kay Aius na pinipigilan si Tracer sa paglapit sa akin. It’s like everything is so entertaining to him.

Unti-unting kumalma si Tracer at inis na bumalik sa pagkakatayo sa gilid ni Fourth. Aius fixed his leather jacket first before going back to where he is earlier.

“I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not but I don’t really know where your Rook is. At first, alam ko. Pero ngayon ay hindi na.” paliwanag ko.

The Queen hid him when she started making him a subject for the rare drugs. Kaya wala na akong balita ngayon kung anong nangyayari sa kanya. If he’s still alive or what.

The Queen knew that what she’s doing is evil. Kaya itinago nya ang Rook para walang makapigil sa plano nya.

Nagkatinginan sina Fourth at Aius. I noticed that their eyes were like talking. At mukhang nagkakaintindihan sila.

I looked at L. Nakita kong mataman din syang nakatitig sa dalawa. Parang may inaabangan na kung ano. Like he’s expecting something.

Then I saw that Fourth smirked before looking at me. Humigpit ang kapit ni L sa kamay ko kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. His jaw was clenching. Alam kong nagagalit din sya.

“I’ll offer you something, then.” sabi ni Fourth. Mas tumindi ang galit na nagpapakita sa mukha ni L.

I was about to asked him if he’s okay and if there’s any problem but Fourth spoke again. And when he did, I realized why L is acting this way.

“Be our rat, Alter. Be a traitor for us.”

Chapter 36

I wasn’t the only one who got surprised by Fourth’s words. Napatingin din sa kanya si Tracer pagkatapos nyang sabihin iyon. His eyebrows were furrowed. Mukhang hindi nya rin inaasahan ang sinabi ni Fourth kahit pa alam kong gustong-gusto nyang mahanap ang kapatid nya.

L was shocked and angry at the same time. Humigpit ang kapit nya sa kamay ko. His face was stoic but his eyes showed me anger. Palagi kong inoobserbahan ang emosyon nya kaya alam kong may galit din syang nararamdaman ngayon habang nakatingin kay Fourth.

The only one who doesn’t seem surprised was Aius. Nakahalukipkip lang sya habang nakatayo sa gilid ni Fourth. Siguro ay iyon ang napagkasunduan nila nang magtinginan sila ni Fourth kanina.

Inaasahan ko na rin naman ang ganitong bagay pero nagulat pa rin ako. I am at their hideout. Nahuli nila ako at siguradong hindi nila palalagpasin ang makakuha ng impormasyon sa akin. But the way Fourth said those words was degrading. He said it like he was really disgusted. And he even mentioned that a traitor is a rat.

Na mga peste lamang ang nagta-traydor.

“What are you talking about?” L asked at kahit na tunog tamad na naman ang boses nya ay galit pa rin naman ang mga mata.

Fourth smiled. Habang tumatagal ay unti-unti na akong naiinis sa ngiti nyang iyon. I unconsciously tapped my pockets to search for a lollipop pero wala akong nakapa. Gusto kong pakalmahin ang sarili ko.

“I want her to betray her team.” Fourth said like it was just an easy thing. “She is a tracker. We can find Shielder if she’ll help us.”

Napatingin sa akin si Tracer. Mukhang nakuha ang ipinupunto ni Fourth.

“Alter’s skills could surpassed you both.” Fourth said na itinuro si L at Tracer. “The three of you will be powerful if you work together.”

“I get it.” Tracer said. “We couldn’t get in before ’cause she put up a very strong firewall to block our access. That’s why it was so hard for us to get any information about the Red Faction.”

Fourth nodded then looked at me. “All you have to do is to help L and Tracer to bypass the firewall and security that you built. Then we could start searching where Shielder is.”

I get their point. Ang gusto nilang gawin ko is to help them hack the insides of our hideout. All the CCTVs and my computers, gusto nilang magkapasok doon. So we would be able to find their Rook. Dahil bawat isa sa mga members ng Red Faction ay ginawan ko ng security and firewall. All their gadgets. Kahit ang tracker na sinusuot nila tuwing may misyon ay ako lang ang mayroong access doon.

But as much as I want to help them, there’s still a problem.

“It’s impossible.” I said as I shook my head. “I know I created the codes but I could only break the firewall using my own computers. It’s risky. Kapag may na-detect ang system na may gustong pumasok na unauthorized access and bypass the security, all the informations will automatically be deleted. I designed it that way ever since you succeeded on breaking the firewall once.”

I looked at L hoping that he’ll understand what I’m saying. Kaya nga sa computer room lang ako nakakapagtrabaho at hindi sa kung saan-saan dahil iyon lang ang may access sa lahat ng myembro ng Red Faction. Kaya nahirapan talaga akong sundin ang mga utos ng Queen noon when L was still guarding me.

He squeezed my hand at doon na ako nakahinga nang maluwag. He’s a tracker. He gets what I’m saying. At natutuwa ako na malamang naniniwala sya sa sinabi ko.

“Then we will not have any chance to find my brother.” Tracer muttered. Napatingin ako sa kanya and he looked like he’s thinking of another way to gain an access to my computers.

He believed my words…

“In that case, then use your computer.”

We all looked at Fourth with confusion in our eyes. He suggested it like it was an easy thing to do. Hindi ko naman maintindihan ang pinupunto nya. I am here in their hideout so how could I use my computers?

“She has to go to the Red Faction’s hideout if she has to use it.” L said, stating the fact. Mukhang naguluhan din sya sa sinabi ni Fourth.

Fourth flashed a menacing smile. “Exactly.”

What? He will let me go to our hideout?

“That’s dangerous!” Tracer said angrily. Kahit si L ay mas lalong nagalit sa tabi ko kaya pinisil ko ang kamay nya. “It’s dangerous for us, Fourth! They probably know that Alter is here with us in our hideout. Kapag pinabalik natin sya, they will surely ask her where our fucking hideout is!”

Fourth chuckled. “Then she can tell them where it is.”

Napatitig ako kay Fourth. He was smiling but he doesn’t look like he was joking. Seryoso sya sa sinabi nya base sa nakikita ko sa mga mata nya.

Tracer and L were surprised as well. Si Auis lang ang hindi nagpakita ng pagkagulat. Hindi ko alam kung itinatago nya lang o alam na nya ang tungkol sa bagay na ’to.

What kind of King is he? Hahayaan nyang malaman kung nasaan ang hideout nila? He will let his enemies invade his kingdom? Without planning for any defense or counter attack at all?

“You’re insane.” hindi mapigilang sabi ko. It looks like I am looking to the male version of the Red Faction’s Queen.

Pero malaki ang pinagkaiba nila. Fourth cares for his pieces. He cares for his members. Dahil kung hindi, hindi nya ako hinayaang makabalik sa hideout namin. Hindi nya isasakripisyo ang kaligtasan nila para lang sa isang myembro ng grupo nila.

He will do everything for his people even if there’s a chance that they will lose the game. While our Queen will do everything to win the game even if she lose all her people.

Fourth chuckled before he shrugged his shoulders. “Perhaps I am.”

“Bakit hindi nyo tinatanong sa akin kung nasaan ang hideout ng Red Faction?” I asked. Para kasing baliktad ang mga nangyayari. They will let me go back to the hideout pero hindi nila tinatanong kung saan iyon. They can make a surprise attack to the Red Faction. I’m sure that they will win especially if they make an effective plan.

“’Cause we’re not planning to invade it.” Fourth said. “It’s dangerous. You said that the Queen hid Shielder. And she might be the only one who knows where he is. If we kill her, then we will never have a chance to know where Shielder is.”

“There is still a chance.” sabi ni L sa tabi ko na kanina pa tahimik. “Tracer, Alter and I will work together to find Shielder.”

“But what if we still can’t find him?” it was Tracer. “Paano kung hindi pa rin natin sya mahanap kahit magtulungan tayong tatlong? We need the Queen to tell us where he is.”

“Point taken.” I said. Napatingin silang lahat sa akin.

Natigilan ako. Why does it feels like I’m planning with them? Bakit pakiramdam ko ay parte ako ng grupo nila at tumutulong sa pagpaplano para mahanap ang nawawalang Rook nila? Bakit parang natural lang sa akin ang gawin ito?

I’m at it again. Doing something without thinking thoroughly. Ito ba ang epekto dahil ilang araw na akong hindi nakakakain ng lollipop?

“What is it?” tanong ni Aius. He’s urging me to continue what I’m about to say.

I looked at them. Isa-isa ko silang tinignan. They were all looking at me like my opinion matters. Na importante din ang sasabihin ko. Even Tracer is waiting for me to speak.

It warmed my heart. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ito. For years that being the Red Faction’s Knight, walang pagkakataon na nag-usap-usap kami tungkol sa plano. Palaging ang Queen lang ang nag-iisip ng lahat. Then she will order us to do the mission with her plan.

Shit lang! Sana ay naging myembro na lang ako ng EL Ordre.

I cleared my throat. “I was saying… What if even if I use my computers to find your Rook, hindi ko pa rin mahanap? What if the Queen hid him well? It’s not impossible. Tuso ang Queen namin. She’s always making a plan alone. We never know what she’s thinking.”

Mukhang napaisip sila sa sinabi ko. I bit my lower lip to stop the nasty feeling inside my chest. Hindi ko nagugustuhan ang mga nararamdaman ko.

I am slowly becoming a traitor to my team.

“It can’t be helped if that happens.” sabi ni Fourth. He looked at the chess board on the table and took the black Queen piece. “We just have to capture the Queen then.”

I loudly gasped and looked at Fourth with a horrified expression on my face. He’s really insane! Much insane than our Queen! Sinabi nya ang mga salitang iyon na parang kay dali lang gawin! Na parang kusa lang sasama ang Queen sa kanya!

“That’s utterly impossible!” I exclaimed. “You don’t know our Queen! She’s evil. She’s mad! You’re making a mistake looking down on her!”

“Who says that I’m looking down on her?” Fourth said. He put down the black Queen piece on the side where the white pieces are. He placed the Queen in between the King and the Bishop. “That’s why I’m talking to you, Alter. You are our only chance to find Shielder. I want you to help us to capture the Queen.”

I want you… He’s not asking for my help. He wants me to help them. Gusto nyang gawin ko dahil iyon ang gusto nya. He didn’t give me any other choice.

But it’s understandable. I’m not part of their group. Isa lang akong bihag nila. Of course, dapat na gawin ko kung ano man ang gusto nila.

I made a mistake. At alam kong hindi nila palalagpasin iyon.

“You’re aware of the horrible things that you did to Tracer, right?” Fourth said and it took me by surprise when he opened that topic. “I’m sure that your conscience is slowly eating you.”

I held my breath and stared at Fourth. He smiled at me but his smile looked so evil. Halatang may itinatago sya sa likod ng mga ngiting iyon.

“You’re the sole reason why his parents died. If you didn’t look for their information, then your dead Rook wouldn’t be able to find and kill them.”

Napatitig ako kay Fourth na nanlalaki ang mga mata. L shifted on his seat and asked if I am okay pero nanatili ang titig ko kay Fourth. His smile slowly turned into a smirk. And his eyes looked at me disgustingly. I heard Aius chuckled which scared me even more.

“As a matter of fact, if we think thoroughly, you’re the reason why all the innocent people that you’re group involved died. You’re the source of their information.” Fourth chuckled. Nagtaasan ang mga balahibo ko sa batok dahil sa pagtawa nya. “Blimey, Alter! You looked innocent but you’re definitely a bloody despicable maggot.”

“Shut the fuck up, Fourth.” L hissed beside me.

Habang ako ay hindi na makahinga sa pagpipigil ng mga luha. Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko at naramdaman kong hinawakan iyon ni L.

Archer words hurt me but Fourth words almost wrecked me. Ngayon lang ako nakatanggap ng ganoong insulto sa buong buhay ko. It made me feel sick. Parang gusto ko na lang isuka ang buong pagkatao ko.

“Why, L?” Fourth asked. “Am I wrong? We are all thinking of that same thing, right? She was young when she did that to Tracer’s parents but that will never be enough for a reason. And what’s more? She did it again and again and again. An evil witch, isn’t she?”

“You, son of a—”

Binitiwan ni L ang mga kamay ko para sugudin si Fourth pero mabilis syang napigilan ni Tracer. Narinig ko naman ang malakas na tawa ni Aius na mukhang enjoy na enjoy sa mga nangyayari. Habang si Fourth naman ay kalmado na nakaupo at nakasandal pa ang likod sa sofa.

“Let go, Tracer!” L bellowed habang sinusubukang alisin ang hawak ni Tracer sa kanya.

“Stop, you motherfucker! Fourth has a point anyway!”

Gulat na napatingin si L kay Tracer na parang hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi nya. Then his eyes turned so dark and grab Tracer by the collar of his shirt.

“I understand where you’re coming from, Tracer. But I don’t want you bad-mouthing my woman.” he hissed with every words. “How would you feel if I throw insults to your goddess, too?”

Dumaan din ang galit sa mga mata ni Tracer at akmang susuntukin na si L nang awatin sila ni Aius na natatawa pa rin. Fourth leaned in and whispered something to me.

“See what you’re doing with your man, Alter? He’s willing to destroy their friendship for you. You’re quite a lucky one, aren’t you? You don’t deserve him, at all.”

Doon na tumulo ang mga luha ko. Fourth smirked like he wanted to see this reaction of mine. Parang kanina nya pa inaabangan.

I know that I don’t deserve L. Sa dami ng mga kasalanang nagawa ko, wala akong karapatan na mahalin sya o ang kahit na sino. I am rotten to the core. Ang sama-sama kong tao.

But still, I wanted to make things right. Gusto kong bumawi kahit ang maging kapalit pa ay ang kaligtasan ko.

I wiped my tears and looked at Fourth.

“I’ll do it.” nanginig pa ang boses ko. I cleared my throat and said it again, loud and clear this time. “I’ll do it.”

Napatigil ang dalawang nag-aaway at napatingin sa akin. Kusang binitiwan ni L ang damit ni Tracer at lumapit sa akin.

“What?” he asked. Tinitigan ko sya sa mga mata.

“I’ll do it, L. Babalik ako sa hideout.”

Napaupo sya sa tabi ko at hinawakan ang dalawang mga kamay ko. It’s obvious that he was against of the idea at gusto nya akong pigilan. Pero buo na ang desisyon ko.

I want to do something right just for once.

“I’ll help you find your Rook. I’ll help you capture the Queen.”

Fourth smiled and looked at like he was proud of my decision. I realized how powerful he is. He can also manipulate people if he wants to. Just like our Queen.

“It’s dangerous, Codee!” mariing sabi ni L sa tabi ko. “They might suspect something. Kapag nalaman nilang nagta-traydor ka sa kanila, they will surely kill you!”

I nodded and looked at him. Tears are forming in my eyes again.

“I know. Alam ko, L. But I want to do this. Kahit ngayon lang, gusto kong may magawang tama. I’ve done so many bad and horrible things that I’m having nightmares every night. Hindi ako makatulog nang maayos. Inuusig ako ng konsensya ko sa bawat minutong dumadaan.”

I sobbed. I clenched my chest ’cause it feels so tight. Napahagulgol ako pero diretso pa rin akong tumingin sa mga mata ni L.

“I’ve dreamed of every person that died because of me. Ayoko na ng ganito, L. It was hurting me and I just want to die to stop the pain. But I can’t. I don’t want an easy death. Kailangan kong magdusa para mapagbayaran ang lahat.”

L cupped both of cheeks and wiped my tears. Hindi nya alam kung paanong pagpupunas ang gagawin dahil tuloy-tuloy sa pagbagsak ang mga luha ko.

“Please, L. I have to do this. I want to make things, right. I want to get rid of the pain in my chest. Let me do this, please.”

L nodded before he hugged me tight. Impit akong humagulgol habang nakasubsob ang mukha ko sa dibdib nya. I am aware that we’re not the only one here. Pero hindi ko na napigilan ang emosyon ko. Fourth words triggered my emotions.

“Okay, I understand…” sabi ni L sa mahinahong paraan.

His voice soothed me. His words comforted me. I know that I don’t deserve love, pero okay lang kaya kung hayaan kong maramdaman ang pagmamahal ni L kahit na saglit lang?

I felt L kissed my hair. He caressed my back before he whispered the words that I wanted to hear.

“Let me do my purpose in your life, Codee. Let me love and protect you with everything that I have.”

Chapter 37

We spent the past few days making a plan on how we can find their Rook. Isinama nila ako sa pagpaplano nila. I was also sitting with them in the living room. Nakapaikot ang mga sofa at may coffee table sa gitna. It was designed that way dahil doon sa parteng iyon daw talaga sila madalas na nagmi-meeting.

And I was able to witness their teamwork. Pinakikinggan nila ang opinyon ng bawat isa. And they are applying their ideas to make a better plan. Everyone’s opinion is important. Kahit na ang sakin.

“Alter will go back to their hideout and act like she escaped on her own.” L said.

Si Kier lang ang wala sa grupo habang nagmi-meeting kami. They said that he’s guarding my father. Kahapon daw kasi ay si Viper ang nagbantay kay Papa.

And Archer is complaining everytime. Kapag kasi wala sa hideout si Kier ay nagpapa-deliver kami ng pagkain. Kier is the official cook of EL Ordre. Masarap kasi talaga ang mga luto nya kaya talagang nagrereklamo si Archer kalag wala sya.

But it can’t be help. Isa sya sa mga nagbabantay kay Papa.

I suddenly miss my father. Gusto ko na syang makita. Alam ko naman na hindi sya mag-aalala sa akin. L told my father that we’re going on a vacation bilang celebration sa pagsisimula ng relasyon namin. Ang sabi nya ay nagtatampo daw si Papa dahil hindi man lang ako nagpaalam sa kanya. But it’s okay with him. Boto kasi talaga sya kay L.

“Paano tayo nakasisiguro na hindi nya tayo ilalaglag?” Viper asked.

I understand him. Hindi nila ako kakampi. I am from their enemy’s group. At naiintindihan ko kung karamihan sa kanila ay hindi magtitiwala sa akin.

I wanted to defend myself. I want to give them an assurance that they can trust me. That I’ll do what is right this time. That I will really help them. Pero hindi ako makahanap ng mga salita. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. So I choose to remain silent.

Fourth chuckled. “Just believe in the power of conscience, Viper.”

Naniniwala talaga sya na hindi ko sila ilalaglag dahil inuusig ako ng konsensya ko. Naniniwala pa sila na may konsensya pa ako kahit napakarami ko nang kasalanan na nagawa.

“What if the Queen got suspicious?” Archer asked. “Ang dami natin pero natakasan nya tayo?”

“Oh, the Queen will believe her.” sabi ni Fourth na parang kilala nya ang Queen dahil siguradong-sigurado sya. “Alter is their best tracker. She can even surpassed L’s and Tracer’s hacking skills. So it’s possible.”

“The Queen will surely ask me where your hideout is,” I said. Alam kong hindi palalagpasin ng Queen ang impormasyon na iyon. Lalo pa at may kinalaman na sa King ng EL Ordre.

“Just tell her the truth. Tell her where our hideout is.”

I frowned. Ayoko. For sure na gagawa agad ng plano ang Queen para makita nya ang King ng EL Ordre para patayin. She wanted to meet him for so long. This information is an advantage is like a gift from.the devil for her.

Fourth made a small smile dahil sa reaksiyon ng mukha ko. My lips parted. Nakita ko na rin ang totoong ngiti nya. Ngiting hindi mapagpanggap.

“Leave this to us, Alter. Focus on what you have to do. You don’t need to worry about us.”

Namula ang mukha ko sa pagkapahiya. I can’t believe that I got worried for them. Nag-alala ako para sa kalaban! I got worried for the people whom I treated as my enemies for so long.

Naalala ko ang mga salitang ibinato ko kay Yucca noon. Shit lang! Now I’m in her shoes! Ako naman ngayon ang magiging traydor!

“When you get access to your computers, help Tracer and L to go in your system. Work together until you find Shielder.”

Archer tapped Tracer on the back. Kahit na nakatingin si Tracer sa laptop na nakapatong sa mga hita nya at may salamin sya sa mga mata ay nakita ko ang pagiging determinado nya. He will do anything to find his brother.

“We will see him soon, fucker.” Archer said. Tracer smirked without taking his eyes off from the screen of his laptop.

“I know, fucker.”

I looked at L who’s already looking at me. Mukhang kanina nya pa ako pinapanood. He’s monitoring my every emotion. Siguro ay natatakot na umiyak ako ulit so I smiled at him. His shoulders relaxed and squeezed my hand that he’s holding.

“But this plan might fail so we need to make a Plan B.” si Aius ang nagsalita ngayon.

I heard Tracer sighed. Sa aming lahat ay sya ang talagang naaapektuhan. It’s his brother. We’re making a plan on how to take back his brother. And thinking that our plan might fail is hurting him.

Wala sa sariling pinisil ko ang kamay ni L when I felt that my chest hurt. Ang laki pala talaga ng epekto ng nagawa ko sa kanya. I may not be the one who killed his parents or hid his brother. Kahit na hindi ang mga kamay ko ang mismong ginamit sa pagpatay sa mga magulang nya ay malaki pa rin ang kasalanan ko. That’s why I accepted all the blame and those hurtful words.

Pero walang-wala ang nararamdaman ko sa nararamdaman ni Tracer.

“What’s our Plan B?” Archer asked.

“We will capture the Red Faction’s Queen.”

Napakunot ang noo ni Archer sa isinagot sa kanya ni Fourth. Parang may naalala pero hindi sigurado.

“I think you already gave us that order years ago?” then he smiled playfully. “Damn, Fourth. Sa dinami-dami ng mga babae, bakit ang Queen pa?”

But Fourth didn’t pay him any attention. He looked at me instead.

“Make a way so that we can capture her.”

Tumango ako. “Sigurado ako na hindi sasama ang Queen sa pagpunta dito para hulihin ka.” I said. “But maybe, she will watch with me at the computer room on what’s going to happen if they decided to invade this hideout. Kaming dalawa ang maiiwan sa hideout namin kapag nagkataon.”

Fourth showed me his smirk. “That’s a bloody good news.”

I smiled a little. “The Queen is very much interested in you, Fourth.”

He chuckled. “Is she, though?”

Tumango ako. “Kaya alam kong hindi nya palalagpasin ’to. Wala syang sasayangin na oras. She waited for this for so long.”

Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses na sa akin itinanong ng Queen ang tungkol sa King ng EL Ordre. At first, I thought that it was because of the game. Na gusto nyang malaman kung sino ang King para may maging advantage kami at malaki ang tyansa na manalo kami.

Pero napadalas ang pagtatanong nya even when I said that I will immediately tell her if I got any information. She looked impatient kapag sinasabi ko na wala pa akong balita.

“Let me meet her, then.” Fourth said. He rested his elbow on the arm rest of the sofa where he’s sitting. He began playing his lower lip between his thumb and forefinger.

“That’s dangerous, Fourth.” Tracer said. Fourth smiled at his direction.

“A lady wishes to meet me,Tracer. I shouldn’t make her wait for too long as a courtesy.”

Tumawa si Aius at tinapik sa balikat si Fourth na may naglalarong ngisi sa mga labi. I was  observing them since day one. Napansin ko na kumpara sa iba ay mas marami silang alam sa isa’t-isa. They looked like they knew about each other’s secret.

“What do you call her?” tanong ni Fourth na biglang nagkaroon ng interes sa aming Mad Queen.

“Your Majesty.” I answered.

Nakita ko na napangiwi silang lahat before Aius and Fourth laughed. Silang dalawa lang ang mukhang nag-eenjoy sa mga nangyayari.

I looked at L. He looked lazy and bored with the meeting. I smiled. It’s been so long since I saw these emotions on him.

“Her name.” sabi ni Fourth kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. “What’s her codename?”

Umiling ako. “The Queen doesn’t have any alias. She’s using her real name.” mas lalong napangisi si Fourth sa sinabi ko.

“Tell me her name, then.”

Napatingin ako sa paligid. Mukhang hinihintay nila ang isasagot ko. They are curious about the Mad Queen as well. I glanced at L before I looked at Fourth.

“Ereshkigal… Her name is Ereshkigal. Queen Eresh kapag tinatamad kami.” na madalas mangyari.

We call her as Queen Eresh, the Queen, and addressing her as Your Majesty. She didn’t want to use any codename. ’Cause for her, gusto nyang makilala namin kung sino talaga sya. She want us to know who our Queen is and who’s the one that we need to obey.

“Eresh, huh?” nakangising tanong ni Fourth. He said it like he’s familiarizing the name on his lips. “Ereshkigal.”

Nakita kong napangisi si Aius at sa huli ay tuluyan nang natawa.

“The Mesopotamian Goddess and Queen of the Underworld.” he smirked at Fourth. “And you’re the God of Mischief.”

Napangisi si Fourth, mukhang nakuha ang gustong sabihin ni Aius. His eyes looked mischievous as he played with his lower lip while smirking. He looked like he was planning to have fun anytime soon.

Fourth looked at me. The myterious glint in his eyes was there. Mukhang ikinatutuwa nya ang mga nangyayari.

“I want you ready, Alter. We will make a move the day after tomorrow.”

Chapter 38

We will execute our plan tomorrow that’s why everyone looked so busy. We are polishing our plan. Sinisiguro namin na walang butas ang ginawa naming plano. Pero ang malaking parte ay sa akin nakasalalay.

Kailangan kong maging magaling sa pag-arte.

I can feel the tension in the air. Halata sa mga mukha nila na delikado ang gagawin namin bukas. Everyone looked so serious. Isa lang ang hindi nagseseryoso. Si Archer.

“Masisira na naman ang bahay mo, L. Maghanda ka na ng pangpa-renovate mo.” Archer said.

I’ve learned that their hideout is actually L’s house. Kumpleto daw kasi ang bahay nya. He has an armory here where all of the weapons were stored. He has a tight security since he’s a hacker and their Rook helped them with the security. And this house also has an escape route for emergency.

“I hope that we can get Shielder back. He can help you with the security of this house again.” sabi pa ni Archer na mas nagpabigat ng hangin sa paligid. Kasabay ng pagbigat din ng nararamdaman ng puso ko.

Everytime that they’re talking about their Rook, palagi na lang akong nakakaramdam ng konsensya. Palagi na lang bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko. Palagi kong nararamdaman ang pagsisisi. Hindi na natahimik ang puso ko.

Though I deserve it all. Kasalanan ko naman talaga, eh. At hindi ko alam kung sinasadya ba ng mga myembro ng EL Ordre ang pagbanggit ng tungkol sa Rook nila sa presensya ko.

I sighed and looked at Fourth. Mukhang may seryoso silang pinag-uusapan ni L at hindi ko alam kung tama bang istorbohin sila. Naramdaman ko na may nakatitig sa akin at nang lumingon ako ay nakita kong si Aius iyon. He smiled when he saw that I caught him staring at me.

“May sasabihin ka ba?” tanong nya kaya napatingin sa akin ang lahat. Napabuntong hininga ako at nakasimangot na tinignan si Aius. He just smirked at me.

I looked at Fourth. Natigil ang pag-uusap nila ni L at inaabangan nilang pareho ang sasabihin ko. Lahat sila. Nakatingin sa akin at naghihintay. Na parang importante talaga ang sasabihin ko.

I glanced at L who’s staring at me before I looked at Fourth.

“I’m sure that the Queen’s Bishop will be in the frontline kapag sinugod nila ang hideout na ’to.” I said. “You have to watch out for him. He’s our best fighter.”

“’Yung lalaking nakabangga ni L minsan?” Archer asked and I nodded. “Kayang-kaya namin ’yun! Hindi nga nakaporma kay L ’yun diba?”

Umiling ako. “Don’t look down on him. He’s not doing his best that time dahil walang order ang Queen sa kanya tungkol kay L. The Queen’s words are like the the bible to him. He’s obsess with her.”

Narinig ko ang pagsipol ni Aius at nakangising tinignan si Fourth. “Mukhang may kaagaw ka, ah?”

Napangisi si Fourth. He chuckled before he shook his head.

“Also…” I continued. “The Queen has a pet. It’s a very big cat—”

“She has a big pussy?”

Napatigil ako sa pagsasalita at napatingin kay Archer. There’s a playfulness in his eyes kaya mahinang sinapak ni Tracer ang braso nya.

“Shut up, fucker.” Tracer hissed and Archer just laughed. Napatingin ulit ako kay Fourth.

“It’s a Sumatran tiger. I know that it might not be a threat for you pero gusto ko lang malaman nyo ang tungkol doon.”

Napayuko ako pagkatapos. I played with my fingers. Nararamdaman ko pa rin kasi ang nga tingin nila sa akin.

I decided to work with them. Para makabawi sa mga kasalanan ko. I will become a traitor to the Red Faction. Maaaring manganib ang buhay ko kaya tutulungan ko na lang ang EL Ordre sa abot ng makakaya ko.

“Thank you for that information, Alter. It will help us a lot.” Fourth said. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nakita ang magaan na tingin sa akin ni Fourth. I smiled at him.

“I’ll do my best to help.”

The tension inside the house rose when the night came. Hindi ko alam kung anong plano nila kapag sumugod sina Enki dito. Mukhang hindi kasi sila naghahanda at may kung anong pinag-uusapan lang. I didn’t ask them. Feeling ko kasi ay wala akong karapatan.

Nang mas lumalim pa ang gabi, we decided to finally rest. Kinakabahan ako. Parang ayaw ko na lang na matulog dahil sa paggising ko ay araw na para gawin ang plano.

I sighed. Sana man lang ay may lollipop ako para makalma ako. I can’t ask them to buy it for me.

Papaakyat pa lang ako ng hagdanan papunta sa kwarto ko nang makasalubong ko ang pababang si Tracer. Our eyes met. Napatigil ako sa pag akyat pero tuloy-tuloy lang sya sa pagbaba hanggang sa tumigil sya sa harapan ko.

I gulped. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin at sasabihin ko. I got nervous as I tried to read his emotions but he has a stoic face on. Naalala ko tuloy noong unang araw ko dito. He grabbed my shirt and he told me that he really wanted to kill me. Mas lalo tuloy akong kinabahan.

“M-magpapahinga n-na ako.” ang pautal-utal kong sabi at mabilis na tumalikod.

“Alter.”

I gasped when he called my me. His voice sounds so harsh. Alanganin tuloy akong humarap sa kanya.

Napaigtad ako nang kumilos nya. Napatigil sya at bumuntong-hininga. He looked surprised by my reaction. I thought that he’s going to hurt me pero tumigil ang nakasarado nyang kamay sa harapan ko. Parang may ibinibigay sa akin.

“Here.” he said.

Nagdadalawang-isip man ay inilahad ko ang isang palad ko sa kanya. He put whatever he’s holding onto my palm. Nang alisin nya ang kamay nya ay nakita kong isa iyong manipis na kwintas.

“Wear that for tomorrow.” he said. “It has a tracker and a sensor and it could detect your pulse rate. It will notify us kapag pakiramdam mong nasa panganib ka na.”

My lips parted and stared at the necklace that he gave me. It is a silver necklace at manipis na manipis na kung isusuot ay halos hindi na mahahalata.

Napatingin ako kay Tracer. I couldn’t believe that he gave me something like this. May bumara sa lalamunan ko at nahirapan akong lunukin iyon.

Tracer moved and fished something out of his pocket. Nang makita ko kung ano iyon ay mas lalo akong nabigla. He gave it to me at nanginginig ang mga kamay kong kinuha iyon mula sa kanya.

It was my favorite lollipop.

I looked at Tracer with teary eyes. Wala syang ipinapakitang emosyon but his gestures tell me otherwise. Mangiyak-ngiyak akong napangiti sa kanya at inilapit ang mga ibinigay nya sa dibdib ko.

“Thank you…” I sobbed.

Shit… Mas lalo akong nakokonsensya sa ginawa ko. Malaki ang kasalanan ko sa kanya pero binigyan nya ako ng mga ganito. I don’t deserve his kindness.

Paano ko nagawan ng kasalanan ang lalaking ganitong kabait?

Tracer nodded at me. “Don’t die.”

Nang tumalikod sya ay may tumulong luha sa mga mata ko. I don’t know if it was because of sadness, guilt or relief. Relief and hope that there’s a chance that he might forgive me someday.

Itinuloy ko ang pag-akyat nang magaan ang pakiramdam. Itinago ko ang mga ibinigay ni Tracer sa bulsa ng shorts ko. Mas lalong lumakas ang kagustuhan ko na matulungan sila. I just realized that they’re not an enemy. Hindi ko dapat itinuring silang mga kaaway nang hindi ko alam o kilala ang totoong sila.

They were so kind. Sa loob ng pananatili ko dito ay hindi nila ako itinuring na isang bihag. Although there were times when they’re guilt-tripping me because of what I did, bukod doon ay puro kabaitan na ang ipinakita nila sa akin.

And for a while, I was able to feel that I’m a part of EL Ordre too.

I just really hope that we could take their Rook back tomorrow. And that there will be no violence between the two groups anymore.

Pero malabo.

Binuksan ko ang pinto ng kwartong nakalaan sa akin at nakita si L na nakaupo sa dulo ng kama na parang hinihintay talaga ako. I smiled at him. Pakiramdan ko ay kay tagal na simula nang huli kaming magkaroon ng alone time.

And I missed him so much.

Tumayo sya habang isinasara ko ang pinto. He walked towards me habang humahakbang din ako palapit sa kanila. Tumigil lang kami nang kaunti na lang ang distansya namin sa isa’t isa.

I stared at him. Shit lang. Na-miss ko talaga sya! I miss the times when we’re still together. I miss the times when he was still my bodyguard. I miss the things that we did together.

My eyes roamed around his face. His jet black eyes na mukhang namumungay at palaging tinatamad. His long lashes. His thick eyebrows. His perfect nose. His sharp jawline.

And his lips. Shit… I wanna kiss him again.

“Are you afraid?” he asked. Dahil alam ko kung anong tinutukoy nya ay umiling ako.

He’s talking about tomorrow.

“Just tell me kung gusto mong umatras.” he said and took a step closer until I could feel his body heat. “We won’t force you, Codee.”

Muli akong umiling at ngumiti sa kanya. “I have to do this, L. You know that I have to.”

He didn’t say anything and just stared at me. There’s a longing in his eyes and I know that he could see it in mine too. We both missed each other. Even if the circumstances is telling us that we’re not allowed to have this feeling, hindi pa rin namin mapigilan ang isa’t isa.

We were enemies. And this feeling is forbidden.

He was always giving me a comfort when I needed it. Lalo na nang makipag-usap ako kay Fourth. He protected me from EL Ordre even if they are his friends. Hindi nya naman kailangang sirain ang pagkakaibigan nila nang dahil sa akin. I know my mistakes. At nakahanda naman akong bumawi.

He raised his left hand and cupped my cheek. Napapikit ako nang maramdaman ang paghawak nya sa pisngi ko. Shit lang. Even his touch, I missed it too.

“Are you still angry with me?” he asked. Mahina lang at nananantya.

Dumilat ako at bahagyang ngumiti sa kanya bago umiling.

“No. Naiintindihan ko kung bakit mo ginawa iyon.”

And it’s true. Ang totoo ay nagpapasalamat pa nga ako sa ginawa nya. I am thankful that he approached me and took me here. Dahil hindi ko mare-realize ang mga kasalanan ko. Hindi ko makikita kung ano ang naging pekto ng mga ginawa ko. Baka hanggang ngayon ay sinusunod ko pa rin ang utos ng Queen.

With L, I realized everything. He gave me a chance to be a better person.

“Still, I’m sorry…” He said. His thumb caressed my cheeks. “I know I hurt you.”

“I deserve it, L. I deserve all the hurt. I deserve to suffer because of my sins.”

Yes, I was hurt. Feeling ko ay hindi totoo ang mga ipinakita nya sa akin noon. Na ibang L ang ipinakilala nya sa akin. But I realized, that it was still L. Hindi ko nga lang sya lubusang kilala noon.

He shook his head. “But you’re willing to change everything. You’re willing to make up for it. And that’s all that matters, Codee. That in the end, you realized and tried to correct your mistakes.”

“I still hate myself, L.” I said helplessly. “I did so many horrible things. I have so many sins.”

Hindi ko alam kung magkakaroon pa ng pagkakataon na mapapatawad ko ang sarili ko. I want Tracer to forgive me pero hindi ko na yata mapapatawad ang sarili ko. There is no justification for what I did.

L sighed and dipped his head. Pinagdikit nya ang mga noo namin.

“Don’t hate yourself, Codee.” he whispered. “Hate the sin but not the sinner.”

Pero halos wala akong marinig. Mas tumindi pa lalo ang guilt na nararamdaman ko dahil sa mga ibinigay ni Tracer kanina. I know that he’s being genuine pero mas lalo lang nadagdagan ang guilt ko.

“I don’t deserve to be love, L…” wala sa sarili kong sabi.

Bumaba ang kamay ni L sa leeg ko. Mukhang naging desperado na ipaintindi sa akin ang sinasabi nya.

“You do, Codee. You deserve it. You have my love as a proof.”

Umiling ako at itinulak sya palayo sa akin. Ilang hakbang ang inatras ko. “I don’t deserve you, L. I can’t accept your love! Ang dami kong mga kasalanan. Halos hindi ko nga matanggap ang pagkatao ko. Ang mga ginawa ko! Paano ko pa magagawang tanggapin ang pagmamahal mo?”

“Who says that you don’t deserve me? Who says that you don’t deserve to be love?” sabi nya at humakbang palapit sa akin. Napaatras ulit ako. “You deserve love, Codee! Everyone deserves love. No matter who they are. No matter what they did! And all you have do is to accept my love, sweetheart.”

Naramdaman ko na ang pinto sa likod ko pero patuloy pa rin akong umiiling sa mga sinasabi nya. Masama talaga ang tingin ko sa sarili ko and I don’t want to taint him with my sins. I was not aware of the sins that I did. Hindi ko man lang naisip ang mga nasaktan ko. And that is the worst part.

Kahit pa sabihin na wala akong magagawa kundi ang sundin ang utos ng Queen, sana man lang ay nakaramdam ako ng konsensya.

“I’m a sinner, L.”

“All of us are sinners.” he said. Lumalapit pa rin sya sa akin kahit wala na akong maatrasan. Hanggang sa magkadikit na ang mga katawan namin. I gasped.

“You know what I mean, L.” Ang bulong ko na lang na sabi.

Shit! It’s been so long since I felt the warmth of his body. Parang ayoko na tuloy na lumayo sya sa akin. Gusto ko na lang na yakapin sya at mas higitin pa palapit sa akin!

My body ache for him. My skin ache for him. Halos nawala na sa isip ko kung anong pinagtatalunan namin. My rational thoughts just flew out of the window.

L saw his effect on me at nakita ko ang pagngisi nya. He pinned my body in between me and the wall. My breast were pressed against his chest and suddenly, the room temperature rose. Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko kaya wala sa sariling binasa ng dila ko ang mga labi ko. Nawala ang ngisi sa mga labi ni L at napatitig sa mga labi kong alam kong mamula-mula na ngayon.

He looked hungry for my lips.

“No, sweetheart.” he breathes. His endearment sent chills to my spine.

Oh, shit. This is not good.

“I don’t understand.” bulong ni L habang unti-unting tinatawid ang distansya ng mga labi namin. “And I will never understand.”

And when our lips met, I didn’t push him away and kissed him back.

Chapter 39

Warning: Spg

---

L’s warm lips covered mine and I can’t help but to stifle a moan. Parang ilang taon na ang lumipas nang huli kong malasahan ang mga labi nya. Kay tagal na nang huli kong maramdaman ang mga labi nya na nakalapat sa mga labi ko.

I heard L sighed like there’s a burden that was suddenly lifted off his chest. Mukhang pareho kami ng nararamdaman. That we both missed each other’s lips.

Kaya nang gumalaw ang mga labi ni L, I kissed him back. He moaned and kissed me deeper. Umangat ang kamay nya papunta sa likod ng ulo ko at mas hinila pa ako palapit sa kanya. Then his one hand caressed my back in a gentle way. Kung ano ang ikinarahas ng paghalik nya ay marahan naman ang ginagawa nyang paghaplos sa likod ko.

Shit, his lips taste so good. It always tastes better than my favorite lollipop. Sweet but is also making me feel intoxicated.

My arms encircled around his neck. Hinila ko pa sya palapit sa akin habang patuloy kami sa paghahalikan. It feels like our distance isn’t enough. I want him closer.

“Open your mouth for me…” he whispered against my lips.

He didn’t have to ask me twice. I opened my mouth and his tongue immediately delved inside. My tongue welcomed his at halos sabay kaming napaungol nang magtagpo ang mga dila namin.

Biglang uminit ang paligid. Or is it L’s body? Or mine? I don’t know. I’m not sure. Feeling ko ay may sinisilaban sa malapit kaya nagsimulang uminit ang pakiramdam ko. I heard a fast beating of a heart at hindi ko na alam kung kanino iyon. Kung kay L ba o sa akin.

His tongue moved like it was seeking something in my mouth. I moaned when it rolled around my tongue in a teasing way. Magkasalubong ang mga dila namin. Halos hindi na mapaghiwalay.

Kung hindi lang namin kailangan sumagap ng hangin ay hindi namin ititigil ang paghahalikan.

I looked at L as I tried to catch my breath. And oh shit… His eyes were intense while looking down on me. It sent chills down my spine na umabot sa kaibuturan ko. I closed my legs to stop the feeling. Saka lang bumalik ang wisyo ko.

“We should stop, L.” sabi ko na kulang naman sa diin. May lambing ang boses ko, salungat sa kung ano man ang sinabi ko.

I saw the flicker of desperation in his eyes pero bigla ring nawala. Saglit lang na dumaan iyon sa mga mata nya kaya hindi ako sigurado kung tama ba ang nakita ko.

“Still saying that you won’t accept my love?” he asked before he spread my legs using one of his thigh.

I loudly gasped nang igalaw nya ang hita nya sa pinakasensitibong parte ng katawan ko. He rub it on the part in between my legs. My breathing hitched. Hindi na ako makahinga nang maayos kaya ibinuka ko ang bibig ko para sana kumuha ng hangin pero inatake naman ni L ang mga labi ko.

He kissed me like there’s no tomorrow. May panggigigil sa paraan ng paghalik nya like he’s sucking all the air inside my lungs. Mahigpit akong napakapit sa mga balikat nya. Bumaon ang mga daliri ko doon bago nilabanan ang mga halik nya.

Pero napapatigil ako sa tuwing dumidiin ang pagkiskis ng hita nya sa gitna ko. And L will take that chance to suck my lower lip and licked it with his tongue.

“L…” impit kong ungol

Bumaon ang mga kamay ko sa buhok nya at marahang sumabunot doon. I wanted to gasped for an air ’cause the feeling of his thigh rubbing onto my core is too much. Pero ayaw pakawalan ni L ang mga labi ko at mas idiniin pa ang ulo ko sa kanya.

Humaplos ang mga kamay nya pababa sa kurba ng katawan ko. He grab my hips and guided it to rub against his thigh. Malakas akong napaungol at tuluyang humiwalay sa mga labi nya. I leaned my forehead on his shoulders while breathing so fast.

Something is building inside me. Parang may gustong lumabas. Parang may gustong abutin. So I grinded my hips on his thigh at sunod-sunod na napaungol. But just when I’m about to reach the peak, L stopped and hold my hips in place.

I groaned in frustration. I was about to come pero tumigil sya! At hindi ko na magalaw ang balakang ko dahil mariin ang hawak nya doon!

He chuckled on my ears. Nanindig ang balahibo ko sa paraan ng pagtawa nya. May halong panunukso doon na mas nakadagdag sa init na nararamdaman ko.

“Do you love me, Codee?” bulong nya sa tenga ko na ikinainis ko.

He stopped me from reaching my peak just to ask me that?

I tried to grind my hips again pero pinigilan nya ako. I groaned and buried my face on his neck at saka kumagat noon. He let out a sound. He groaned and moaned at the same time.

“Please, L…” I begged and kissed then licked the part of his neck that I bit.

Lumalim ang paghinga nya. Ibig sabihin ay naaapektukhan sya. Sinubukan ko ulit igalaw ang balakang ko pero hindi nya talaga ako hinayaan.

“Answer me first, sweetheart…” he teased and begged at the same time. “Do you love me?”

Inangat ko ang ulo ko at tinitigan sya. There’s a desperation in his eyes na hindi na nawala, hindi katulad kanina. His eyes were begging me to answer the question. He’s asking me to tell him those words that he wanted to hear.

Tumango ako at hinaplos ang panga nya. “Of course, L. But—” but I don’t want to taint you with my sins. I don’t want to corrupt you. Hindi ako nararapat sayo. I’m evil.

Gusto kong sabihin ang lahat ng iyon sa kanya pero ungol na ang lumabas sa bibig ko when he placed himself in between my legs and grinded his hips. He lifted my right leg up to his waist at mas idiniin pa ang sarili nya sa akin.

“Tell me you love me, Codee. Accept my love.” he said as he grinded his hips.

Pinagdikit nya ang mga noo namin at tinitigan ako. Ang likod ko ay nakalapat na sa pinto habang gumagalaw sya sa harapan ko. His hands caressed my thigh. I was only wearing a short that’s why I felt his rough and calloused hand. I moaned and closed my eyes to focus my attention on what he’s doing to me.

I felt him nuzzled my neck and his warm breath tickles me. He keeps on grinding at sinasalubong ko na ang paggalaw nya. Bumabalik na naman ang nararamdaman ko kanina at gustong-gusto ko nang mailabas iyon.

But L stopped again which made me feel so frustrated. He held my hips and pinned my body on the door para hindi ako makagalaw.

“Accept my love, Codee.” he said and grinded again.

Then he stopped. He grinded again and stopped. Paulit-ulit nyang ginagawa iyon na halos ikabaliw ko na. He’s definitely teasing me. He’s making me feel frustrated para masabi ko sa kanya ang gusto nyang marinig.

But I know that the moment that I say it to him, hindi ko na mapipigilan ang nararamdaman ko. Baka makalimutan ko na magkalaban kaming dalawa.

I just want to make things right before I tell him that I love him. Gusto kong maibalik ko muna ang Rook sa kanila bago ko tanggapin ang pagmamahal nya.

“I love you, Codee. Say it back, please.” sabi nyang halos magmakaawa na sa akin. And it almost broke my heart.

Then I realized, I never told him that I love him. Pero sya, madalas nyang sabihin na mahal nya ako.

He grinded his hips again, letting out his feelings with every move. I could feel his desperation with every thrust of his hips. I hugged him and kissed his cheeks as I feel that I am near from reaching the peak.

“Please, Codee…” bulong ni L sa tenga ko na hinihingal na.

Mabilis at malalalim na ang paghingang ginagawa nya. He’s near too pero alam kong ititigil nya ang paggalaw kapag hindi nya narinig ang gusto nya. And I don’t want him to beg. Ayoko nang marinig ang pagmamakaawa sa boses nya. He doesn’t even have to beg. Hindi sya ang dapat na magmakaawa sa aming dalawa.

So I lightly pulled his hair on the back of his head before I whispered to his ears.

“I love you, L…”

I heard him smile. Mabilis nyang sinakop ang mga labi ko. He kissed me hungrily like a wolf devouring its prey. And I just let him devour my whole being.

I felt him unbuttoning my shorts as he grinded fast and rough. I moaned when his hands went inside my shirt and caressed my bare skin. Sa kagustuhan kong hawakan din sya ay naglakbay ang mga kamay ko sa katawan nya. Mula sa dibdib ay bumaba ang mga kamay ko pahaplos sya tyan nya. I felt his muscles on his stomach contracted with my touch. Pagkatapos ay humaplos ang mga kamay ko papunta sa likod nya.

He groaned and pulled the hem of my shirt. Saglit nyang inihiwalay ang labi nya sa akin para maalis ang damit ko. He threw it somewhere on the floor and kissed me again, biting and licking my lips.

His movements became desperate. Bumilis ang paggalaw ng mga balakang nya at mas idiniin pa ang katawan nya sa akin. I could feel his large bulge against my core. I moaned and accidentally bit his lower lip as I finally reached the peak na kanina ko pa gustong marating.

Inangat ni L ang isa ko pang binti at ipinulupot iyon sa bewang nya. Nanghihina man pero kaagad akong kumapit sa mga balikat nya nang maglakad sya palapit sa kama. He gently put me down and stared at me.

“I love you.” he said. My eyes teared up dahil kitang-kita ko sa mga mata nya ang pagmamahal nya para sa akin.

“I love you.” I said it back.

He smiled before he dipped his head and gently kiss my lips. Marahan na ang paggalaw nya ngayon, hindi katulad kanina na may halong panunukso at pagmamadali. He’s taking his time kissing me, gently sucking my lips and licking the pain away.

Halos maiyak ako sa gaan nang paghaplos nya sa katawan ko. Pabalik-balik ang kamay nya sa pagdama sa kurba ng bewang ko. Then his lips left mine and kissed my cheeks. He showered my face with kisses hanggang sa bumaba pa nang bumaba ang mga halik nya.

He kissed my jaw, then my neck. Bumaba pa ang mga labi nya hanggang sa mapunta sa gitna ng mga dibdib ko. He kissed my breast at kahit na may telang tumatabing ay napasinghap ako. Then he reached for my back and unclasped the hook of my lace brassiere. Itinapon nya iyon sa ibaba ng kama.

His eyes feasted on my breast. Namula ang mukha ko pero hindi ko inalis ang tingin sa kanya. Shit… He looked so beautiful while staring down at my chest. I can see the want and desire in his eyes.

Then his head dipped down and my breathing hitched as I wait for his lips to touch my breast. Napaungol ako nang paulanan nya ng maliliit na halik ang paligid ng dibdib ko. Ang ungol ay nauwi sa munting paghiyaw nang maramdaman ko ang init ng bibig nya as he sucked on my left breast.

His tongue played on my nipple while his other hand was squeezing my right breast. He pinched the crown and I let out a sound that is mixed in pain and moan. His tongue flicked on my nipple and I hugged his head and combed his hair with my fingers.

“Oh, L…”

Nang magsawa sa kaliwang dibdib ko ay ang kanan naman ang pinagtuunan nya ng pansin. I watched him as he sucked and licked my nipple and my lips parted with the sight. Nakapikit sya at parang gustong-gusto nya talaga ang ginagawa nya.

Hindi na normal ang paghingang ginagawa ko. Mabilis at parang hinihingal. Kinakapos ako ng paghinga at pinagpapawisan na ako dahil sa init na nararamdaman.

Iniwanan ni L ang dibdib ko. His lips travelled down, leaving small kisses on his trail. He kissed my navel, then to my lower abdomen bago sya tumigil para hubarin ang shorts kasama ng underwear ko.

“I love you.” he breath as he spread my legs and kissed the insides of my thigh. “I love you, Codee.”

Umangat ako at itinukod ang mga siko ko sa kama para makita ang ginagawa nya. He’s kissing my thigh, sometimes licking it’s skin na nagpapabaliw sa akin. I am moaning kapag lumalapit sa gitna ko ang pahalik nya pero hindi nya itinutuloy at lumilipat lang sa kabilang hita ko.

“L, please.” I begged kahit hindi ko alam kung anong pinagmamakaawa ko.

He looked up and his eyes found mine. I moaned when I saw his eyes on fire. Parang napapaso ako sa paraan ng pagtitig nya. Then, without taking his eyes off me, he kissed me on my most sensitive part of my body.

“Oh!”

Napabalik ako sa pagkakahiga nang maramdaman ang mga labi nya sa gitna ko. I moaned louder when I felt his tongue licked my core. Wala sa sariling naisara ko ang mga hita ko but L held my thigh and spread it wide again.

He licked and give it wet kisses. Hindi ko na alam kung saan ibabaling ang ulo ko. I thought dry humping feels so good pero may mas isasarap pa pala doon ang pakiramdam ko.

His fingers spread my folds kaya mas na expose pa ang pagkababae ko sa kanya. He licked it thoroughly. Dinig na dinig ko ang tunog ng pagsipsip nya kaya mas tumindi pa ang nararamdaman ko.

“Shit, L. More…”

Muli akong umangat para tignan ang ginagawa nya. I shivered when I saw his eyes were closed as he licked and lapped on my core. He looked like he’s enjoying what he’s doing. Napaungol na lang ako sa nakikita ko.

Dumilat sya at nagsalubong ang mga mata namin. I felt his tongue poking on my entrance. I sobbed with the sensation. Pinatigas nya pa ang dila nya and tongue-fück my insides.

“Oh, God!”

Napabalik ako sa pagkakahiga at halos bumaon ang ulo ko sa kama. Patuloy si L sa ginagawa nya sa pagkababae ko na halos ikabaliw ko. He’s tongue-fücking me! Sunod-sunod at malalakas ang ungol na pinapakawalan ko habang may kung anong namumuo na naman sa kaibuturan ko.

“More, L! Please, I’m gonna come!” I begged. Hindi ko na nga alam ang mga sinasabi ko.

Malapit na ako. Malapit na malapit na. Pero itinigil na naman ni L ang ginagawa nya at gusto ko na lang na mapaiyak!

“L!” inis na tawag ko sa kanya nang tumayo sya. Pero nawala ang inis na iyon nang hubarin nya ang shirt na suot nya.

I’ve seen his body before. Doon sa swimming pool back on my house. Pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasan na humanga sa katawan nya. Humagod ang tingin ko doon. Hindi O.A. ang mga muscles nya at tamang-tama lang. His chiseled chest and abs looked so delectable.

Sumampa sya sa kama at umupo sa gilid ko. He lifted my back, guided me to sit up. Nagtataka akong napatingin sa kanya lalo na noong humiga sya. Then he held my waist, guiding me to kneel while his head was in between my thighs.

Namula ako nang mapagtanto ang position namin. Nakahiga sya habang nakaluhod ako at ang ulo nya ay nasa pagitan ng mga hita ko. He got a better access to see my core. Nakaramdam ako ng hiya at aalis na sana nang hawakan nya ang bewang ko at pinababa ako palapit sa mukha nya.

“L!” saway ko sa kanya pero hindi nya ako hinayaang makalayo.

I looked down on him. His eyes filled with desire. Nag init ang pakiramdam ko kahit nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. Then, his grip on my waist tightened as he guided me to lower my body on him.

“Sit on my face, Codee…” he breathes.

Chapter 40

Warning: Spg

---

I thought of L as a lazy and an energy saving man. Na hindi basta kikilos kapag hindi importante at alam nyang magsasayang lang sya ng lakas at ng oras nya. And he’s also a man of a few words na bawat salita ay ginto ang katumbas.

But lately, napansin ko na kapag nagsasalita sya ay may malalim na kahulugan ang lahat. Maybe that’s why he rarely talks. Kapag nagsalita kasi talaga sya ay may meaning ang mga sinasabi nya. Hindi sya magsasalita kung walang kwentang bagay lang ang sasabihin nya.

And now, I noticed that when it comes to pleasure, he’s always active. He was lazy pero kapag sa mga ganitong bagay ay magalaw sya. ’Yung tipong pinagpapawisan talaga sya at hinihingal pa. Like when we were dry humping. He used so much energy on that activity.

Napaisip tuloy ako, is he conserving energy for things like this? Dito nya ba inilalaan ang mga energy na naipon nya?

I felt L’s hands guided my hips down on his face. Napatingin ako sa kanya. His eyes were challenging me, testing me if I would accept it. Naaalala ko tuloy, the times when were still hacking. Walang nagpapatalo sa amin. One would try to break down the firewall while one would try to defend it. One will try to get informations while one will try to block the access from it. Palaging ganoon ang laban namin noon. And it always excites me. Dahil hindi madaling kalaban si L.

But this time, it’s different. Totally different. Feeling ko ay ako rin naman ang panalo sa huli.

Slowly, I lower my hips on his face. L’s eyes flickered with fire and I saw him smirk as he waited for me. Hindi ko inaalis ang tingin ko sa kanya and he’s doing the same. So when I finally felt his lips on my core, I saw him closed his eyes.

Napaungol ako at napahawak sa dalawang mga hita ko. Shit, this feels so different than to what he did earlier. Napatingala ako habang nakabuka ang bibig para kumuha ng hangin.

Then I felt his tongue licked my folds. Malakas ang lumabas na ungol sa bibig ko. He licked my core thoroughly. He has a better access to it now at mas naging damang-dama ko ang paghagod ng dila nya sa gitna ko.

“Oh, fuck! L!” ungol ko at muling ibinaba ang tingin para panoorin sya.

I almost shivered when I met his eyes. Mukhang kanina nya pa pinapanood ang reaksyon ko. It added fuel to my already hot body. I caressed his hair with my fingers and he closed his eyes again as he continue licking my core.

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa kanya kaya sumabunot na ang mga kamay ko sa buhok nya. His hands moved and reached for my core to spread my folds. He was able to devour my whole being with just his playful tongue.

Muli nyang pinatigas ang dila nya at ipinasok sa loob ko. I cried with pleasure as he started tongue-fücking me again. I grip on his hair at hindi ko na namalayan ang paggalaw ng balakang ko.

I heard him moan when he felt my hips were moving against his mouth. Humawak pa sya sa balakang ko and guided my hips on how to move. And isang kamay ko ay napahawak na sa headboard ng kama habang ang isa ay sumasabunot na sa buhok nya.

I heard the sound of the way he sucked my clit. Napahiyaw ako at napatigil sa paggalaw. But his hands is guiding my hips kaya maya-maya ay nagpatuloy na rin ako sa paggalaw.

“Oh, L! Shit. That’s it. Lick me more!”

Shit! Sure ako na ikakahiya ko ang mga sinasabi ko pagkatapos nito!

L did what I said. He licked my folds and sucked my clit. Naririnig ko ang tunog ng ginagawa nya na mas nagpapabaliw pa sa akin at mas nagpapadagdag ng init ng katawan ko.

I moved my hips and grinded on his mouth while he’s still licking me. Nararamdaman ko na naman ang namumuong sensasyon sa puson ko. At dahil binitin na naman ako kanina ay mas binilisan ko ang paggiling sa kanya. Ayoko nang mabitin! I need to reach the peak this time!

I continued on grinding on his mouth habang patuloy din sya sa ginagawa nya. Mas bumilis pa nga na parang sinasabayan ang paggalaw ng balakang ko.

“L! Oh, shit! I’m near!”

And finally, my body convulsed on top of him that I almost collapsed if I hadn’t supported myself. Mabuti na lang at nakahawak ang isang kamay ko sa headboard para mapigilan ang pagbagsak ng katawan ko.

L drank all my juice that made me feel so weak. Sinimot nya lahat ng iyon at parang ayaw pang magtira. He made sure that I am clean before his tongue left my core.

I was still catching my breath when L moved. Umalis sya sa pagitan ng mga hita ko at inalalayan ako sa paghiga sa kama. My chest were heaving up and down. Hingal na hingal ako at sensitive pa ang pagkababae ko.

Umibabaw si L sa akin at kaagad na inatake ang mga labi ko. I tasted something on his mouth. Realizing that it was my own release made me moan. Bumalik ang init na nararamdaman ko kanina lang.

His hands travelled all over my body until it found my breast. He played on my mound, flicking and pinching on my nipples. Napapaungol ako sa bawat paggalaw ng mga kamay nya at nanggigigil na napapakagat sa labi nya.

Gumanti ako sa paghaplos sa katawan nya. My hands caressed his body. To his chest, to his back and finally, to his abdomen where I took my time to feel his abs.

Ang tigas. Baka kapag sinuntok sya doon ay hindi sya masaktan.

I found his belt and unbuckled it. It was unfair that I am naked while he’s still wearing his pants. Tinulungan nya naman ako sa paghuhubad until we’re both naked finally.

My hands were still caressing his body and he groaned against my lips when my hand grazed on his manliness. Shit lang… It’s hard! Inulit ko pa iyon at muli syang dumaing. Itinigil nya ang paghalik sa akin at tinitigan ako.

His eyes filled with desire as he stared at me. His breathing hitched nang sadyain kong idikit ang kamay ko sa pagitan ng mga hita nya habang hinahaplos ko ang katawan nya. I smiled. I want to pleasure him too.

Kaya hinawakan ko ang pagkalalaki nya. My hands wrapped around his hardness and the intensity of his eyes doubled. Mukha syang galit at may pinipigilan. I bit my lip and pump my hand up and down.

“Fuck…” he hissed and leaned his forehead on mine.

Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapaungol sa ginagawa ko. His hardness is twitching on my hand. He feels so big and long. Hindi ko pa nakikita pero sigurado ako doon.

I remember that time when we were inside my car and eating a lollipop. He reacted when he heard the sound of me eating and sucking the candy on my mouth. That’s what I felt earlier. Na kahit ang tunog lang ay malakas na ang epekto sa katawan ko.

He’s definitely imagining something back then. I know what it was. Hindi ako ganoong inosente para hindi malaman iyon.

What would he feel if I really do what he imagined back then?

The thought excites me. Naglaway ako at pinigilan ko ang pagpapakita ng reaksyon sa mukha ko. Baka sabihin pa ni L na ang halay-halay ko dahil sa naiisip ko.

I stopped moving my hands which made him groaned. Tuluyan na akong napangiti. Now he knows what I felt earlier! Gusto ko syang gantihan but I want to pleasure him the most!

Itinulak ko ang dibdib nya para humiwalay sa sa akin. I saw the confusion in his eyes kaya nginitian ko sya.

“Lay down on your back, sweetheart.” ang malambing kong sabi.

Kahit na nagtataka sya ay ginawa nya ang sinabi ko. I kissed him on his lips. Saglit lang dahil naglakbay ang mga labi ko pababa sa katawan nya. I mimicked what he did to me earlier. I left a trail with my small and wet kisses. Hanggang sa tumigil ang mga labi ko sa puson nya. I lifted myself up and had a chance to look on his hardness.

Oh shit the fuck! He’s huge! And fucking long! It’s my first time and I’m inexperienced so I have no idea if I could take it!

“You don’t have to do it.” I heard L said. Nakatingin sya sa akin na parang alam kung anong binabalak ko.

But I want to pleasure him. He gave me love even if I don’t deserve it. He loves me despite of the sins and mistakes that I did. Wala syang pakialam basta mahal nya ako.

So I shook my head and wrapped my hand around his hardness. He groaned as my hand started to pump on his length. Bumilis ang paghinga nya at tumindi ang init sa mga mata nya.

“Fuck, Codee…” he groaned.

Kamay pa lang pero ganito na ang epekto sa kanya. What if it’s my mouth?

I don’t know how to do it. May ideya lang ako pero hindi ko pa nagagawa. But I really want to pleasure L. At hindi ko magagawa iyon kung hindi ko susubukan.

So I lowered my head on his hardness and licked it’s tip. Ilang mura ang pinakawalan ni L na may kasamang panggigigil. I did it again while my hand is still pumping on his hard length.

I licked his length from the end up to the tip. Marahas syang napahugot ng malalim na hininga kaya mas lalo pa akong ginanahan sa ginagawa ko. He’s reacting this way, it only means that I’m doing it right.

And slowly, I put his thing inside my mouth carefully. Iniwasan kong masanggi ng ngipin ko ang kahabaan nya. Sunod-sunod na napamura si L habang sinusubukang umupo para mas mapanood ako sa ginagawa ko.

“Fuck, Codee.”

I couldn’t take him whole. Kalahati pa lang pero naduduwal na ako. He’s really big and long. Nai-stretch ang bibig ko at nangangalay ang panga ko.

I don’t know what to do next. Hanggang kalahati lang ang kaya kong ilagay sa bibig ko. I was worried that I wouldn’t succed on pleasuring him so I just swirled my tongue on his shaft like eating a lollipop while moving my head up and down.

“Holy fucking shit, Codee—”

My head bobbed as I take him inside my mouth. Nangangalay na ang panga ko pero patuloy pa rin ako sa paggalaw. Hearing him moaning and groaning my name make me feel so good. Umiinit ang pakiramdam ko kahit na si L naman ang pinapaligaya ko.

His hardness was wet with his pre-cum and my saliva. A smell of masculine and sweet scent invaded my nose as I taste his pre-cum in my mouth. Napahawak ako sa mga hita nya at mas binilisan ang ginagawa ko sa kanya. L’s muscles contracted. Alam kong malapit na sya base sa mararahas nyang paghinga. So I wrapped my hands on the part na hindi na naaabot ng bibig ko and pump it up and down.

“Putang—”

Nabigla ako nang higitin ako ni L paangat at marahas na itinulak pahiga sa kama. He parted my legs and placed himself in between me as he lowered his body on me.

“This is going to be hurt, Codee. But I need to be inside you now.”

I felt his hardness poking my entrance. Napangiwi ako nang unti-unti kong naramdaman ang pagpasok nya. I bit my lower lip to divert the pain but shit, it really hurts! Parang may pinupunit sa loob ko!

L must’ve seen the pain on my face kaya tumigil sya sa paggalaw at sinunggaban ang mga labi ko. His tongue delved inside my mouth. Playing and teasing my tongue to do the same.

And so I did. Nag-espadahan ang mga dila namin kaya nakalimutan ko ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Napalitan iyon ng kakaibang sarap. His hands played with my breast. Nang maramdaman ni L na wala na ang sakit ay saka nya binigla ang pagpasok sa akin. He entered it whole in one great thrust!

I cried in pain! Ang sakit kasi talaga! Hinayaan muna ni L na mag-adjust ang loob ko sa kanya. He felt so big. Punong-puno ang pagkababae ko ng kahabaan nya! It was like I was made only for him.

When my core finally adjusted, L started moving. Pareho kaming napaungol nang maramdaman ang pagkakakonekta nang mga katawan namin. He started thrusting inside and out. And everytime L is pulling his shaft, loneliness filled inside. Pero hindi din naman nagtatagal dahil ibinabalik nya naman sa loob ko.

“Fuck, sweetheart. You’re so fucking tight.” L hissed.

He thrusts his hips continously. Init na init na ang pakiramdam ko. Ganoon din naman ang kay L. His skin feels so hot. Nakita kong namumula pa ang leeg nya pababa sa dibdib nya.

“L, harder, please.” I begged. Nararamdaman ko kasi ulit ang pamumuo ng kung ano sa puson ko.

“You want it hard?” he asked. I nodded and he held the sides of my waist. “Then I’ll give it you.”

Pagkatapos nyang sabihin iyon ay naging marahas ang paggalaw nya. He pump his hip hard and fast. So fast na hindi ko akalain na magagawa nya iyon dahil palagi syang tinatamad.

Sunod-sunod na ungol ang pinakawalan ko. Hindi ko alam kung malakas ba at may nakakarinig na sa amin dahil nananakit na ang lalamunan ko. But I don’t care. I can’t contain this feeling. Hindi ko kayang kimkimin sa loob ko ang ginagawa ni L sa akin!

“Yes, that’s it! Faster, L!”

He groaned and buried his face on my neck. Naramdaman ko ang marahan nyang pagkagat doon.

Umaalog na ang kama sa rahas ng paggalaw nya. My head reached the headboard pero hindi pa rin tumitigil si L. Not that I want him, though. Alam kong parehong malapit na namin marating ang tuktok.

He’s still thrusting his hardness inside me when I finally have my own release. Nanginig ang buong katawan ko at nanghihinang napahiga sa kamay. But L is still moving on top of me.

Mas marahas, mas mabilis at mas desperado na ang paggalaw nya. Parang may hinahabol sya. Parang may gustong abutin. Then after a few more thrusts, I felt him shoot his load inside me.

Chapter 41

It’s been half an hour since we were awake, both naked under the comforter of the bed. We were in a cuddling position. Nakaunan ako sa isang braso ni L habang ang isa nyang braso ay nakaikot sa bewang ko.

It’s already morning pero pareho kaming walang balak na tumayo. I know that I have to do a mission later at dapat ay naghahanda na nga ako but being inside of L’s arms feel so good. It was like it’s my heaven and my sanctuary. Na parang ligtas ako sa loob ng mga bisig nya at wala akong gagawin na mapanganib mamaya.

I sighed. I imagined that we were just a normal people. A normal couple cuddling on the bed after that mind-blowing lovemaking that we did last night. Ang sarap siguro sa pakiramdam na walang iisipin na mission.

If only we could just be a normal people then I wouldn’t have this sinking feeling in my chest.

Naiisip ko pa rin kasi na hindi kami bagay. That I don’t deserve him. That I wasn’t enough for him and I need to do more to be with him. He’s just too good to be true.

Or maybe, I was feeling like this ’cause I know that I haven’t tried my best yet. Wala pa akong ginagawa. And I have to do what I do to make things right.

Tiningala ko si L na kanina pa pala nakayuko at nakatitig sa akin. Shit lang… He looked so good in the morning. His hair that was always in brush-up hairstyle is now messy. Naalala ko tuloy kung paano ko sya sinasabunutan kagabi. Kaya naman naging ganitong kagulo ang buhok nya.

“May napansin ako sayo, L.” sabi ko habang hinahaplos ang panga nya. I can feel his small stubbles there.

“Hm?”

Shit! One sound. Just one sound from him can already make my heart flutter!

“I knew that you’re not really talkative. Parang tamad na tamad ka palagi kapag nagsasalita. But when you do, I noticed how your words have deep meaning behind it.”

Tumaas ang isang kilay nya. Mukhang hindi nya naintindihan ang pinupunto ko at gusto pa ng mas malinaw na paliwanag.

So I gave him that.

“Tahimik ka pero kapag nagsasalita ka, parang malalim. Palaging may kahulugan. Tamad kang magsalita but once you do, sasabihin mo ang lahat ng gusto mo. Wala kang pakialam sa paligid. You’re just saying what’s on your mind.”

“I’m really like that?” tanong nya na mukha pang nagulat. Tumango ako.

“Well, at least unlike before when we first met, you’re starting to be more talkative now. Dati kasi ay hindi ka talaga nagsasalita! Ako lang yung daldal nang daldal!”

He chuckled. Napasimangot ako. Tinawanan nya pa talaga ako, huh?!

“I’m only talkative around you.” he said and kissed my hair. “I’m comfortable with you. Before, I don’t really do small talks like this. I don’t talk about myself. But then, I was surprised when I told you about my family. I guess I just wanted you to know me better.”

Mas lalo akong napangiti. Natutuwa na hindi talaga sya nagsinungaling sa akin tungkol sa kanya. It’s true that he hid things about himself but not really lied to me.

“Minsan naghahanda na ako kapag nagsasalita ka, eh.” I said. “I am preparing my mind to think thoroughly the meaning behind your words. Kailangang pag-isipang mabuti.”

He smiled at me and my whole world shines before me.

“I know someone who always get pissed whenever she’s talking me. She hated my words and guts.” sabi nya and he even looked like he’s reminiscing about the past.

Nawala ang mga ngiti ko kanina lang. She? So babae ang tinutukoy nya? Tapos ganito ang expression ng mukha nya?

“Ah… Crush mo?” I said coldly. Wala lang. Basta na lang iyon lumabas sa bibig ko.

Pero shit lang! Hindi ko inaasahan ang naging reaksyon nya! Namula ang mukha nya and I know that he’s only reacting like this when he’s flustered!

“You’re blushing.” I pointed out. “Crush mo talaga?”

“I was just attracted to her. She’s pretty and—”

“So you will blush everytime na makakakita ka ng magaganda?” tanong ko at lumayo sa kanya. My voice is rising. “Ano? Dapat ba akong masanay na ganyan ka?!”

I saw the panic in his eyes na bigla ring nawala. Hinigit nya ako ako palapit sa kanya pero iniharang ko ang mga kamay ko sa dibdib nya.

“I just meant that V is beautiful and brave that’s why. I like girls like that—”

“Edi ligawan mo rin si Gabriela Silang!” inis kong sabi at tumayo para sana pumunta sa banyo, taking the comforter with me.

Matapang pala, huh?!

Pero shit na shit naman talaga! Dahil sa biglaang paggalaw ko ay naramdaman ko kaagad ang sakit sa gitna ng mga hita ko. It was bearable at hindi naman nakakamatay pero masakit pa rin! But I ignored the pain and stood up. Paika-ika akong naglakad papunta sa banyo at isinarado iyon kahit na tinatawag ako ni L.

So V is the name of the girl that he has a crush on?! Parehong isang letra lang ang pangalan nila?! Shit! Sana naging C na lang din ang ginawa kong codename!

I stared at the bathroom’s mirror. Maganda din naman ako, ah?! My curly and copper colored hair makes me look like a doll. I have freckles on my cheekbones and nose but that’s one of my assets. My face is actually glowing right now despite the fact that I don’t have any make up on.

Tapos matapang din ako! That’s why I am doing the mission. Kung duwag ako, hindi ko na tinanggap iyon kahit ang mga naging kasalanan ko.

I heard L knocked on the bathroom’s door and called my name. Napairap ako at tinitigan na lang ang sarili ko sa salamin.

Doon na sya sa Gabriela Silang nya!

“Codee, open the door.” I heard him say while knocking. “Open the door, sweetheart, please.”

Hindi pa rin ako natinag. Ang ganda-ganda ng pinag-uusapan namin kanina at kinikilig pa nga ako tapos isiningit nya ang babaeng iyon? Does he actually have to say it? Kailangan bang may pag-special mention pa talaga ang taong iyon?

Hindi nya makalimutan! It means that he still has a crush on her!

Muli kong narinig ang katok sa pinto.

“Codee…” L’s voice was pleading. “I was attracted to her. Was. That was before I met you.”

“So kapag may nakilala kang mas maganda at mas matapang sa akin, ipagpapalit mo na ko?” sabi kong naiinis.

“The fuck are you saying?!” ang inis nyang boses ang narinig ko. “I love you so much, Codee! Wala pa akong minamahal nang ganito that I am willing to leave everything behind just for you!”

Napanguso ako habang nakatingin sa salamin at pinipigilan ang mapangiti. Mukha akong tanga habang nakaharap sa salamin. What am I doing still staring in the mirror watching my expressions?

“My heart belongs to you, Codee. You did decipher my secret code and fully applied it. You broke down the firewall that I built around me. You caught up with my algorithms.” sabi nya. “Do you think that I’ll still have time to look for other women when you already branded me?”

Tuluyan na akong napangiti. Shit lang! He used words that a normal person will have a hard time understanding.

Kinilig ako. Sa sobrang pagkakilig ko ay naramdaman kong naiihi ako. So I removed the comforter out of my body and sat down on the toilet bowl.

“Sweetheart, please.” I head L begged from the other side of the door.

There’s no need for him to beg though! I get it now. Pareho naman kami. I was attracted to Enki before. Ang gwapo nya kasi talaga pero walang ibang babae sa paningin nya kundi ang Queen lang namin.

Maybe L is just like that. Blushing whenever he’s feeling flustered.

Nabigla ako at napatili sa sakit na nararamdaman habang umiihi ako. As in shit! Sobrang sakit! I know that I was devirginized last night that my hymen ripped pero masakit pala kapag umihi! Akala ko ay hanggang kama lang ang sakit! Hindi ko alam na may aftermath pa pala!

“Codee! What’s happening?!” dinig ko ang nagpa-panic na boses ni L na mas dumoble pa nang marinig ang paghikbi ko.

I was sobbing while trying to pee. Hindi naman pwedeng pigilan ko ang pag-ihi ko! Pero nakakaiyak pala sa sakit! Sobrang hapdi pero wala naman akong sarap na nararamdaman pagkatapos! Hindi katulad kagabi!

“Codee!”

Nagulat ako nang bumukas ang pintuan at pumasok si L na naka-boxer shorts lang. Hindi na ako nagtaka kung paano nya nabuksan iyon. This is his house plus he’s a hacker. He can break down even a security wall.

“L, ang sakit.” hikbi ko nang lumuhod sya sa harapan ko.

“What? Anong nangyari? Anong masakit?” ang sunod-sunod nyang tanong.

“Kapag umiihi ako!” sabi ko at muling napahikbi. “Ang sakit! Kasalanan mo ’to, eh!”

Paano na ako nito mamayang gabi? May mission pa ako! Pero mukhang hindi ako makakagalaw nang maayos! Masakit ang mga katawan ko na parang tumakbo ako ng ilang kilometro pero mas masakit ang gitna ng mga hita ko!

At first, L looked so confused as to why I am whining. Then he stared at me. Tinitigan nya ako habang nakaupo sa bowl pero ang dibdib ko ay nakadikit sa mga tuhod ko. Then he smirked and lightly chuckled.

Nainis ako! “Tawa ka pa dyan!”

Tuluyan na syang tumawa nang malakas. I wanted to stare at him. Hindi ko kasi alam kung nakita ko na ba syang ganito. He looked so beautiful and hot while laughing out loud! I didn’t know that a person could look like that at the same time.

“I won’t say I’m sorry.” sabi nya nang matapos tumawa.

Malamang! Nasarapan sya, eh! Kahit naman ako pero may naiwan kasing sakit! Inirapan ko na lang sya.

The night came which is the time to do my mission. The air is so heavy inside the house while they were reciting the plan with me. Tango lang ako ng tango at kahit na kabisado ko na ang gagawin ay nakikinig pa rin ako.

I wore the same clothes that I was wearing that night when they captured me. The pair of clothes that Enki gave me. Alam ni Enki na iyon ang ipinalit ko at magtataka sya kung pagbalik ko ay iba na ang suot ko. Baka isipin nya na hindi nila ako pinahirapan.

They didn’t gave me any weapons. Of course. I must look like I only escaped from the hideout. Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin na lumaban ako dahil imposible na iyon. Marami sila at hindi maniniwala ang Queen kapag sinabi kong lumaban ako. She knew that I don’t have much experience in a combat.

The only protective gear that I’m wearing is the necklace which Tracer gave me.

“Punch me.” sabi ko kay Tracer na nakatayo sa harapan ko.

We were all in the living room. Ihahatid nila kami ni L hanggang sa makasakay lang kami ng kotse na nasa loob ng gate ng bahay nya. L will drove me half kilometers away from The Red Faction’s hideout. Kasama din namin sina Archer at Tracer. They said that they didn’t want to get near the hideout at baka mapasugod lang daw sila. Masisira pa ang plano namin.

“What?” Tracer asked as he looked at me like I just turned into an alien.

“Punch me.” ulit ko. “I think that I should look like I had a hard time here.”

At si Tracer dapat ang sumuntok sa akin. May galit sya sa akin kaya mas malakas ang gagawin nya. Mas makatotohanan.

But he shook his head. “I don’t hurt women physically.”

I frowned. “Para nga mas makatotohanan ang pagdakip nyo. Magtataka sila kapag wala silang nakitang kahit isang galos sa katawan ko.”

“Okay na yan.” Archer intervened. “Paika-ika ka namang maglakad. Then you have a love bite on your neck pero hindi naman halatang kagat. Ayos na yan.”

I saw Kier smirked by Archer’s words. Namula ang mukha ko at hiniling na sana ay kainin na lang ako ng lupa!

“Nice timing, L!” Archer teased and he even laughed. “Tatahi-tahimik pero may halimaw ka pa lang tinatago dyan sa loob mo!”

Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako magtatago! Shit talaga! They know what we did last night! Narinig ko pa ang mahinang pagtawa ni Aius habang sinasapak ni Tracer ang braso ni Archer para patigilin sa pagsasalita.

Shit lang talaga! Hindi ko na alam kung anong mukha ang ihaharap ko sa kanila!

“Alter.”

Fourth called me kaya nalipat ang atensyon ko sa kanya. Namumula pa rin ang mukha ko pero si L ay mukha na namang walang pakialam sa paligid at hinihintay na lang ako.

“I know that I asked you to do this but be careful. And keep in your mind that EL Ordre will rescue you once your necklace sense that your in danger based on your pulse rate.”

Tumango ako at hinawakan ang kwintas sa leeg ko na sobrang nipis. Hindi talaga mahahalatang may suot akong kwintas kung hindi tititigan sa malapitan.

“That necklace won’t fail you. Shielder made that for Tracer’s wife when he caught me asking her to be a Pawn for a while. But he never had a chance to gave it to her.”

I looked at Tracer. He gave me something like this means that he’s trusting me that I’ll bring his brother back. This necklace is their Rook’s last creation before we took him away from his team.

I looked back at Fourth, determination is in my eyes.

“I’ll bring him back. I’ll bring your Rook back.”

Fourth gave me a sly smile before he smirked.

“I look forward to that.”

Chapter 42

We’re on our way to The Red Faction’s, my team’s hideout. Tracer was the one who’s driving the car, Archer was on the passenger’s seat while both L and me were on the backseat.

Mapapansin ang pagiging tahimik sa loob ng kotse kayang damang-dama ko ang tensyon. I don’t want to feel nervous. Baka kasi pumalpak ako if I let my nervousness control over me.

Although, I can’t help it. Hindi ko kasi alam kung anong mangyayari. All my life, I’ve been following orders from the Queen and this will be the only time that I’ll go against her. Noong una kong tinangka na hindi sundin ang utos nya ay hindi naman natuloy dahil sa pagdating ng EL Ordre noon.

Kailangan kong galingan sa pag-arte. I must act like I was abducted and had a hard time with them. Pero ang hirap umarte lalo pa kung hindi naman talaga iyon ang totoong nangyari.

“Kru… Kru…”

Binabawi ko na. Hindi mananatiling tahimik ang kotse dahil kasama nga pala namin si Archer.

Napatingin kaming lahat sa kanya when he suddenly made that sound. Tumawa sya nang makuha nya ang atensyon namin.

“People, relax.” he said then he chuckled. “I know that Alter’s mission is dangerous but we don’t need to be like this. Ang tahi-tahimik nyo! Sa hideout ihahatid si Alter, hindi sa huling hantungan nya!”

“Ang ingay mo.” L said beside me while frowning at Archer. And just like the usual, tamad na tamad na naman ang tono nya.

Nilingon kami ni Archer dito sa backseat. Talagang inikot nya pa ang katawan nya para makita kaming dalawa ni L.

“Mas maingay si Alter.” he smirked at me.

What the hell?

Namula kaagad ang buong mukha ko dahil sa sinabi nya. And does he really need to say that? Shit! Ako lang mag-isa ang babae dito and it’s really, really awkward for me of he’ll open that topic now!

“You heard us?” tanong kong hiyang-hiya and a bit panicking. Napatingin ako kay L na tahimik lang sa tabi ko at mukhang walang pakialam.

Archer laughed at my reaction. “Chill… Soundproof ang lahat ng kwarto sa hideout.”

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag pero nakaramdam ng inis. I think that he said what he said earlier to confirm if we really did it or not! Hindi naman dahil sa paika-ika akong maglakad at mukhang may kung ano sa leeg ko ay iyon na agad ang ginawa namin ni L!

But Archer has his ways to know everything. Magtatanong sya na parang walang kinalaman sa bagay na iyon but little did I know, hinihuli nya na pala ako sa sarili kong mga salita. Magaling syang magpaikot ng mga tanong.

Well… At least I know that nobody heard us. Feeling ko ay mas hindi ko kakayanin kung narinig nila ang lahat ng mga sinabi ko kagabi.

“I thought you heard us…” I said. Archer shook his head.

“But judging L, kahit ang pinakatahimik na babae, mapapaingay nyan. Nasa loob ang kulo karamihan sa mga tahimik na tao.”

“Like you.” Tracer said without taking his eyes off the road. Archer smirked.

“Like me.” he said and smiled. “But Maria came into my life. That’s why I’ve changed.”

“But you’re not like this when you’re with her. Like an annoying shit.”

Natawa si Archer sa sinabi ni Tracer. Palipat-lipat lang ang tingin ko sa kanila habang nakikinig. The nervousness that I’m feeling is slowly fading away.

“Well, I choose to balance myself when I’m with her.” Archer said. “I want her to see my both sides. The Archer before her and the Creed that she changed. I want her to love the whole me.”

I don’t know the whole story but somehow, I understand him. He loves his wife so much that he decided to change for the better just for her.

And that’s love. The willingness to change for the better because of one person. So that you will feel that you are enough for the one who owns your heart.

I looked at L and caught him staring at me. I smiled and held his hand. He intertwined our fingers and the warmth of his palm made all my nervousness go away.

I’m doing this. I’m correcting my mistake to be a better person for myself. So I will be enough for L.

“Pull over there, Tracer.”

Itinuro ko ang gilid ng kalsada kung saan nya dapat ititigil ang kotse. He did what I said.

“I’ll walk from here.” sabi ko sa kanila.

The hideout is still half an hour away if I’ll go by foot pero kailangan ko ito. I need to look like I’ve ran a mile away from the EL Ordre’s hideout.

I looked at Archer. “Do you have a dagger?”

He frowned. “Anong gagawin mo?” tanong nya pero ibinigay naman sa akin ang gusto ko.

I smiled. “For better acting.”

Sinimulan kong punitin ang damit na suot ko. I had to use the knife on my jeans dahil hindi madaling punitin iyon.

If I wanted the Red Faction to believe that I escaped, then I should do this. Dapat ay magmukha akong tumakbo at sumuot sa kung saan-saan para lang makatakas sa EL Ordre.

They are all just watching me tearing up my clothes. Tunog lang ng pagpunit ko sa damit ko ang maririnig sa loob ng kotse. I am nervous but I tried to remain calm. Ayokong makita nila na kinakabahan ako. Baka isipin pa nila na nagdadalawang-isip na ako sa mission.

But no. I am more than hundred determined to do this.

“I’ll go now.” I said when I got satisfied with my clothes. Ibinulsa ko ang dagger at hindi na binalik kay Archer.

I’m planning to do something with it later. Alam kong hindi sila papayag, lalo na si L kung dito ko gagawin iyon.

L sighed. “I don’t want to let you go.”

Ngumiti ako. Hinawakan ang pisngi nya at tinitigan sya sa mga mata.

“I have to do this, L.”

He held my hand that was on his cheek and kissed my palm. I almost sobbed with his gesture. Binuhay nya ang takot sa puso ko na dapat ay nararamdaman ko ngayon pero pilit kong tinatago.

“You have to promise that you’ll come back to me.”

That’s what I’m afraid of, L.

Natatakot ako at kinakabahan. Na kahit yata kumain ako ng sandamakmak na mga lollipop ay hindi na mawawala. I am afraid that something might happen to me. I am afraid that this mission will fail. But I’m not stupid to tell him that.

So instead, I smiled and planted a swift kiss on his lips.

“I promise.”

Ilang minuto na akong naglalakad pero hindi ako nakakaramdam ng pagod. I should’ve brought a lollipop with me. Pero hindi ko na rin inisip na kumain ng lollipop. Enki is observant with my emotions. Alam nya kung nakakain ba ako ng lollipop o hindi. So better be safe.

Tagaktak na ang pawis ko nang matanaw ko na ang hideout. I stopped a few meters away from it at tinitigan iyon. It’s been my second home for me. Mas madalas pa ngang nandoon ako kaysa sa bahay namin. That’s why my father was always hiring a bodyguard to protect me and know my whereabouts at the same time.

I miss my father. After this, if I got lucky, I will go back to our house and spend time with him.

I took out Archer’s dagger out of my pocket and decided to do what I planned. Sinugatan ko ang sarili ko. Lalo na doon sa parte kung saan may punit ang damit ko para magmukhang sumabit sa kung saan. To look like I did my best to escape. And to look like the EL Ordre gave me a hard time.

Napapangiwi ako sa sakit sa bawat balat na hinihiwa ko. Shit lang! It hurts! Hindi ko nilalaliman para magmukhang sumabit lang pero mahapdi pa rin. Nilagyan ko rin ng maliit na sugat ang noo ko para mas magmukhang effective ang drama ko.

And with a gritted teeth, I stabbed the dagger on my left thigh.

I groaned in pain. Mabigat ang hininga ko at nagbilang hanggang tatlo bago ko binunot iyon sa hita ko. I screamed and threw the dagger away. Shit na lollipop! Ang sakit pala talaga! Pero at least ay may irarason na ako kung bakit ako paika-ikang maglakad!

When I got satisfied, I looked at the hideout again. At bago pa ako makapasok sa loob ay tinanggal ko ang takot sa dibdib ko.

My acting starts now.

Si Yucca ang una kong nakita na agad na nanlaki ang mga mata sa akin.

“Where’s the Queen?” tanong ko habang lumalapit sya sa akin at inalalayan ako.

“In the main hall. My God, Alter! What happened to you?”

I didn’t answer her. The worry in her tone made me think if she’s sincere. I am about to betray my team so technically, I am like her. I am in the same position as her.

A traitor. A rat in the team.

And I now understand why she did that. Naintindihan ko na ang mga ginawa nya. And looking at Yucca, her concern for me must be real.

Nakarating kami sa main hall na inaalalayan ako ni Yucca. I saw the Queen at her throne while talking with Enki. Nergal is on her left. Nang makita nila kami ay natigil sila sa pag uusap. Gumilid si Enki at hinintay nila ang paglapit namin.

The weariness that I’m feeling because of the walk that I did earlier is helping my acting. At ang sakit sa mga sugat ko na ako mismo ang gumawa ay effective din. The Queen frown when I finally stopped. Gumilid si Yucca malapit sa upuan nya at iniwan ako sa gitna.

“Alter…” she said, frowning. “We thought you’re dead.”

I gritted my teeth and looked at Enki. Naalala ko tuloy ang sinabi nya noon kay Aius. That they should kill me instead of giving the Rook back. Kaya siguro nag-assume sila na patay na ako dahil sa sinabi nya. Because the EL Ordre can’t use me against them.

“I barely managed to escape, Your Majesty.” the pain in my thigh is getting stronger and stronger with every minute.

Shit lang… Napalalim pala talaga ang sugat ko doon.

I looked at the Queen and did my acting. Hindi ko inaalis ang tingin ko sa kanya. I made myself looked scared, angry and revengeful at the same time. Scared of the fake memories that I created in my mind when I was still in EL Ordre’s hideout. Angry because of what they did to me. And revengeful to get back to them.

“Enki told me that you didn’t accomplish the special mission I gave you for the reason that the EL Ordre came. Is that right?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“How did they know about your mission?”

The Queen sounded and looked suspicious. Iniisip nya siguro na alam ng EL Ordre ang tungkol sa misson ko dahil sinabi ko iyon sa kanila. Eh, shit lang. Noong mga oras na iyon nga ay halos mamatay na rin ako sa kaba!

“My bodyguard, L, is one of the EL Ordre’s members.” I said. “He’s their Knight, Your Majesty.”

I heard Yucca gasped while the Queen looked really surprised. The shock is evident on her beautiful face. Mukhang hindi nya talaga inaasahan ang sinabi ko.

I smirked inwardly. Now, her suspicion for me must’ve gone now.

“Oh, my…” the Queen muttered.

“He bugged my phone. That’s how he knew about the mission when I talked to Enki through the phone.” I gritted my teeth and balled my fist. Pinilit ko ang sarili ko na mukhang maiiyak na sa galit. “Good thing that I never went here in our hideout since he started working as my bodyguard. Hindi nya nalaman kung nasaan ’to.”

Napatingin ako kay Enki. He’s not showing any emotions and just looking at me. Like he’s reading if I’m telling the truth.

Pero hindi naman sya ang kailangan kong papaniwalain. I should make the Queen believe in my words.

“That’s…” the Queen said nang makabawi. “Is your heart alright?”

It is also my advantage that she’s a woman and has a knowledge about love. I remember her advice for me before. That love will only complicates things.

And she also knew my feelings for L. So for her, I must’ve feel devastated.

“I am fine, Your Majesty.” I said. Acting like I’m only masking the pain in my heart because of the revelation. “But more importantly, I know where their hideout is.”

Last night before I go to my room, Fourth talked to me. He said that my priority is to bring back their Rook. But if I can lure out the Queen and bring back their Rook at the same time, then it’s better.

And this is my plan. I’m sure that they’re ready in case Enki will infiltrate their hideout.

The Queen’s eyes twinkled when I mentioned their hideout. She looked really interested and happy. Para syang bata na nag-aabang ng candy sa akin. Naiisip nya siguro na may pagkakataon na syang makita ang King ng EL Ordre.

“You do?” The Queen asked, looking excited. “Oh my, Alter… Go on. I’m listening.”

’They’re at—“

“Alter, no!’

Napatigil ako sa pagsasalita nang sumigaw si Yucca. She looked worried. Ang mga mata nya ay nagmamakaawa sa akin.

“Shut up, you rat!” the Queen spat at her. Pero nakangiti na nang tumingin sa akin. “Go on, Alter. Tell me where their hideout is.”

I looked at Yucca. She shook her head, telling me that I shouldn’t tell the Queen about the EL Ordre’s location. And without taking my eyes off her, I told the Queen the location of the hideout.

I saw the tears from Yucca’s eyes when I finally told the Queen the exact location. Mabilis nyang pinahid iyon at yumuko na lang.

“Very good, Alter! I’m impressed!” the Queen exclaimed and then looked at Yucca disgustingly. Pero nanatiling nakayuko si Yucca. “Alter is much better that you although you’re a King Bishop. Much higher rank than her.”

Inalis ko ang tingin ko kay Yucca. I looked at Nergal who seemed relax by the Queen’s side. Nararamdaman nya siguro na masaya ang amo nya ngayon.

“I’m proud of you, Alter.” madamdaming sabi ng Queen. I tried to smile despite the knot inside my stomach. “Enkidu, treat her wounds!”

Enki nodded. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Come up here, Alter.”

I was surprised by the Queen’s words. Tinitigan ko pa sya para malaman kung biro lang ba ang sinabi nya. But she smiled and motioned me to join her on the throne.

I gulped and walked towards her. Bukod sa mga Bishop ng Queen and King at kay Nergal ay wala nang ibang nakakatuntong doon. That elevated place is only for the King, Queen and Bishops. Ang mga Knight at iba pang pieces na katulad ko ay hindi pa nakakatuntong doon.

But now, I will.

I stopped in front of the Queen. Pinigilan ko ang panginginig ng mga kamay ko. The feeling in this elevated place feels so heavy. Gusto ko na lang bumaba at bumalik sa pwesto ko.

But the Queen stood up while smiling at me. She pulled me for a hug and caressed my hair.

“You did well, Alter.” magaan ang boses nyang sabi sa akin. “I wasn’t wrong when it comes to you. You are my most favorite among all the pieces.”

I gritted my teeth. Para na akong masusuka. The knot in my stomach is getting worse. I balled my fist as the Queen continue on caressing my hair.

Shit… I want to get out of here.

Chapter 43

Enki did what the Queen wants. He treated my wounds. At kahit na alam kong labag sa kalooban nya iyon ay ginawa nya pa rin. There is no words from the Queen that he will disobey.

Magaan ang bawat dampi ng bulak nya sa mga sugat ko kaya hindi ko nararamdaman ang sakit. Even if he doesn’t have a choice but to do this, maayos pa rin naman nyang ginagawa ang trabaho nya. And I bet that he only treats me in a gentle way because the Queen asked him to. Baka natatakot sya na magreklamo pa ako sa Queen nya.

I stared at Enki. He looked so serious while he’s treating my wounds. Hindi nya inaalis ang tingin sa sugat ko at maingat na idinadampi ang bulak na may halong gamot doon.

I can’t help but to sigh. Gwapo rin naman si Enki. I even had a crush on him the first time I saw him. Pero na-turn off ako dahil nakita ko kung gaano sya ka-obsess sa Queen. He’s too obsess that the only person that he sees is Queen Eresh. So I decided to turn my attention to my favorite lollipop instead.

I miss my lollipop.

“I don’t believe you.”

Kung hindi pa ako nakatingin kay Enki at nakitang gumalaw ang bibig nya, iisipin kong imagination ko lang ang narinig ko. He’s quiet the whole time kaya nabigla ako nang magsalita sya.

“I don’t believe what you said earlier.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I dont really care if you believe me or not.”

He ripped my jeans on the thigh part to treat my wound there. Iyon ang pinakamalalim na sugat na nagawa ko. It stings but I can live. Hindi lang ako sanay sa sakit. I was never on the frontline anyway. Walang tsansang magkaroon ako ng ganoong kalalim na sugat mula sa kalaban.

“I don’t believe that you escaped from EL Ordre.” he said as he cleaned the dried blood on my thigh. “They’re strong. And you were never on the frontline. I know how weak you are when it comes with combat skills. So it’s impossible that you escaped them. Unless… There’s a different version of your story.”

Since Enkidu is always on the Queen’s side, he became observant. He can see things in a different perspective. Kaya hindi madaling lokohin ang Queen lalo pa kapag nandyan sya.

“Tell that to the Queen.” I said.

“Why didn’t you tell them that the Rook is dead?”

I gritted my teeth. There’s this topic again. Naaalala ko na naman kung paano nya ipinagpalit ang buhay ko para sa Rook. And it’s making my blood boil.

I’ve worked for the Queen all my life. Lahat ng utos nya ay sinusunod ko. I am certain that I’m also important to the team since I am their one and only best tracker. Pero ganoon na lang kadali para kay Enki na itapon ang buhay ko

Tama ako nang sabihin kong wala silang pakialam sa buhay ng iba. Basta magawa nila ang plano nila.

“Do you want me to get killed?” I hissed. “Kung sinabi ko iyon sa kanila, tingin mo ba ay bubuhayin pa nila ako?”

Between me and the EL Ordre’s Rook, I know that the Red Faction will choose the enemy’s Rook. Hindi sila mag-aaksaya ng kahit na ano para sa akin. That’s what I’ve realized.

“You gave them false hope, Alter.” sabi ni Enki habang binebendahan ang sugat ko. “Dahil sa ginawa mong pagtakas, mas mapapahamak tayo.”

“If I hadn’t escaped, then we wouldn’t know their exact location!” sabi kong nanggigigil na sa galit. “We now have the chance to defeat them and win this stupid game!”

Enki looked at me. His eyes were very serious.

“Are we, really?”

His eyes made me nervous. Parang nakikita nya kung ano ang inililihim ko. But I didn’t try to look away dahil mas malalaman nyang nagsisinungaling ako. So instead, I tried to remain calm. Naalala ko ang kwintas ko. Baka maalarma pa sina L kapag nagbago ang pulse rate ko.

“After this, we’re going to the hideout. Look after the Queen.” sabi ni Enki habang inaayos na ang first aid kit.

That surprised me. Kanina ko lang sinabi ang lahat. Hindi pa ng naaalis ang sakit sa mga sugat na kanina ko lang ginawa pero heto sila at nagpaplano na sa pagsugod sa hideout ng EL Ordre. It’s like they’re running after something. Masyado silang mabilis.

Ganoon ba ka-excited ang Queen para sa King ng EL Ordre? And why does she seems so obsess in meeting him? Para lang ba patayin?

“That fast?” hindi na napigilan kong tanong. And Enki took it the wrong way.

“You escaped, Alter. They’re not dumb to think that you wouldn’t tell their location to us. So before they can move out, we must take action.”

Shit lang… I should tell L about this.

I went to the computer room right after Enki had treated my wounds. Wala na akong inaksayang oras. They are moving in a fast pace and I must catch up. Kung hindi ay marami na naman ang madadamay sa maling desisyon ko.

I didn’t expect them to move this fast. Halos wala na silang ginawang plano. Susugod sila even without my guide.

Mabilis akong umupo sa computer chair amd tapped on my keyboard. It’s been a long time since I felt the feeling of the keyboard everytime I tapped every letters on it. But I don’t have time to feel nostalgic. I must move fast. Baka sa mga oras na ito ay papunta na sina Enki sa hideout.

I entered the network that L gave me so I’ll be able to communicate with them. Hindi nila ako binigyan ng earpiece dahil baka makahalata na ang Queen. We took a risk on wearing my necklace. At hindi na namin kaya pang isaalang-alang ang pagsusuot ko ng earpiece.

“L, Tracer, can you hear me?” I said when I put on my headphones.

“Loud and clear.” they both said.

“I have a bad news.” sabi ko sa pagmamadali. “The others are on their way to your hideout. Naging mabilis sila which surprised me.”

Hindi naman siguro nakahalata sina Enki, diba?

“Don’t worry about our hideout, Alter.” it was Tracer. “Fourth will take care of that. Just focus on finding my brother.”

I nodded. “Okay. I’ll grant you an access with my computers. I’ll open the firewall and in a span of two seconds, you two must get in, okay?”

Dalawang segundo lang ang kaya kong ibigay. It seems impossible but it’s risky if I prolonged it with more than two seconds. My computers security is sensitive. Baka makahalata na may nakapasok sa firewall kapag mas mahaba pa sa dalawang segundo ang ibigay ko.

They’re the best hackers too. They could catch up with my skills. Kaya nila akong sabayan kaya alam kong magagawa nila.

I decided to ask for their help to find their Rook. Baka kasi mahirapan ako sa paghahanap. At least may katulong ako kung mahirapan man ako sa paghahanap.

“Okay.” I heard L answered. “We’re ready.”

“I’ll open the firewall in three, two, one…”

Kabang-kaba ako habang ginagawa ko iyon. The alarm from my computer and hideout will go off once it sense a suspicious activity. Malalaman ng Queen ang ginagawa ko. So I must be careful.

Nagbilang muna ako ng dalawang segundo bago ko ibinalik ang firewall. I stared at my computer screens. There is no hint that they got in so I have no idea if they did.

“Are you both in?” tanong ko. At nang sabihin nilang oo ay nakahinga ako ng maluwag. “That’s good. I’ll give you the CCTVs, location and GPS of the members. Help me find your Rook.”

I first searched on the room where I last saw their Rook but it’s totally empty. Wala na ang lalaking dating nandoon sa loob ng kwartong iyon. Then I tried to look for the CCTV that was inside the house. But still, the Rook is nowhere to be found.

I looked for every CCTV. Napakarami kong inilagay kaya marami akong hinanapan. Kahit ang mismong bahay nga ng bawat myembro ay may CCTV. But still, hindi ko pa rin mahanap ang Rook.

“I can’t find him.” sabi ko matapos ang kalahating oras ng paghahanap. I massage the part in between my eyes.

“Is this the only access that you have?” Tracer asked.

“Yes. I put CCTV to every members places. He’s not there.”

“We know.” Tracer said. Maybe he tried to find his brother there as well as what I did. Pero katulad ko, wala din syang nakita.

“Try to locate the Queen’s whereabouts for the past few days. We’ll do it with the other members.” L suggested.

I did what he said. Using the tracker that I put on the Queen’s necklace that she always wears, I tried to locate the places that she have been. Nakita ko naman. I saw where she went nang mga panahong hindi ako pumupunta dito sa hideout. Pero may napansin akong kakaiba.

Ever since that she received the rare drug from the druglord that they’ve abducted, madalas syang wala sa hideout. But the thing is, I can’t find where she was that time. There are lapses on the record of the places she have been. May “unknown” na nakalagay. Ibig sabihin, hindi sya ma-locate ng tracker ko noon.

Is it possible that she took off her necklace that time? Pero hindi. Sana ay may record pa din dito kung saan nya iniwan ang tracker nang magpunta sya sa lugar noon.

She was wearing her necklace that time. But I can’t locate her.

“What’s happening?” wala sa loob kong bulong dahil hindi ko maintindihan ang mga nangyayari. This is the only time that it happened to me. My computers never failed me before. Ngayon lang.

Where in the shit did she hide the Rook?

“Alter.”

Nagulat ako nang marinig ko ang boses ng Queen sa likod ko. I stood up and removed my headphones on my head. Sunod-sunod akong lumunok at huminga ng malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili ko sa biglaang pagsulpot ng Queen.

I was too engrossed on finding the Rook that I didn’t notice her entering the computer room!

“Your Majesty…” I greeted her. Nagpasalamat ako nang hindi manginig ang boses ko.

She smiled. “I apologize if I disturbed you. Enkidu, Yucca and rest is now on their way to EL Ordre’s hideout. I want to watch what’s going to happen.”

I took a deep breath. “I’ll try to hack their hideout’s CCTVs. But I can’t promise you anything.” as if I can do that easily.

Napatingin ako sa computer ko. I can see that L and Tracer are still trying to find their Rook. Pero sa mga mata ng Queen, hindi nya iyon makikita.

The Queen looked at my computers screens. Her eyes glinted with fire. Kinabahan ako kahit pa alam kong hindi nya makikita ang nakikita ko.

“Do you still remember the first time we met, Alter?” she asked. Nasa computers screens pa rin ang mga tingin nya.

Napatingin ako doon. Nang ibalik ko ang tingin ko sa tingin, nakatingin na rin sya sa akin.

“Of course, Your Majesty. I will never forget that day.”

That day that I thought was the day when I felt complete. That it was such a lucky day dahil naging buo ang pagkatao ko. The Queen answered all the questions that I had about me. And it made me so happy that I began to idolized her.

“I really like you.” the Queen said, walking towards me. “You looked so innocent. I figured that we can use it against the enemies. They wouldn’t suspect you doing something so evil.”

Something so evil. Is she talking about the things that she made do?

“I really like people who’s younger than me. They are very easy to manipulate.” she touched the tip of my hair. “You always obey my orders. You don’t know how you made me feel blissful. Si Yucca kasi, she’s such a pain in my head. She fell inlove and that’s when my plan started to deteriorate.”

She caressed my hair. Sinuklay nya rin ang buhok ko. And because my hair is curly, some strands curled on her fingers.

“But there’s still you. My Knight.” she looked at me. Her eyes were showing disappointment. “But what happened, Alter? Why did you try to betray me?”

Her hands went down on my neck. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mapagtanto kung anong hinahaplos nya doon. It was the necklace that Tracer gave me.

“You think I wouldn’t notice? You think I’m that stupid?” the Queen showed me her evil smirk. “My dear Knight. You haven’t met who I really am.”

“Y-your Majesty.”

Shit! Nanginginig na ang katawan ko at nagpakita iyon sa boses ko. She knew! The Queen knew that I’m betraying her!

Siguro ay nahalata nya ang kwintas nang kaninang yakapin nya ako. The necklace isn’t noticeable from afar. Pero mahahalata na sa malapitan lalo na kung yayakapin ako.

Shit! I’ve been careless!

“I could kill you, you know.” she said then forcefully took the necklace away from my neck. It broke. Tinitigan nya iyon sa kamay nya. “But I won’t. Judging by Yucca’s reaction earlier, it seems that you told us the truth about EL Ordre’s hideout.”

Gumagana ang isip ko. Napamura ako nang maalala kong wala akong kahit anong magagamit laban sa kanya. I don’t have anything to defend myself. Kapag naman nilabanan ko sya without any weapon, matatalo ako. The Queen is good in hand to hand combat. And she has Nergal outside the room.

Nanindig ang mga balahibo ko sa katawan nang maramdaman ko ang paghalik nya sa pisngi ko.

“But you know how I punish bad pieces, right?”

Shit!

Of course! Alam na alam ko. I’ve witnessed the things that she did with Yucca. Si Yucca lang naman ang may lakas ng loob na sumuway sa kanya. Kaya sya lang din ang nakaramdam ng galit ng Queen.

Pero kung Mad Queen na ang tawag sa kanya ngayon, mas lalo pa kapag galit na sya. She’ll go ballistic but still remains calm. At mas nakakatakot iyon. And Yucca received her wrath.

Pinarusahan sya ng Queen that she almost died. Pero hindi sya sumuko. Her love for King Lancer made her alive. Dahil gusto nyang protektahan ang minamahal nya laban sa Queen.

But now, I might experience the same thing with Yucca.

“Tell me.”

Pareho kaming napatingin ng Queen sa pintuan nang marinig ang bagong nagsalita. I gasped when I saw who it was. He was leaning casually on the door jamb while playing with his lips and looking intently at the Queen.

“Do you punish bad Queen as well?” he asked before he smirked menacingly.

Nakita kong naapektuhan ang Queen sa ngisi na iyon. She looked dazed for a moment that it amazed me. Pero saglit lang din dahil sumimangot na sya pagkatapos.

“Who the hell are you?”

The man went inside and stopped a few meters away from the Queen. He towered over her. At namamangha akong makita na nakatingala ang Queen sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon.

He smiled.

“I am Loki Alexander Nimrod Von Amstel the fourth. Second cousin of Prince Wales of England. Nice to meet you, Queen Ereshkigal.”

He took the Queen’s hand and kissed the back of her palm. Her face flushed at sobra talaga akong namamangha!

How can he do that? Ngayon ko lang nakitaan ang Queen ng mga ganitong reaksyon!

“I am also known as Fourth under the orders from EL Ordre.” he said with thick British accent.

The Queen took her hand back. She looked surprised when she looked at Fourth.

“A royal blood… You’re the King?”

Fourth didn’t answer and just smiled. Nakarinig kami nang pagkasa ng baril at itinutok iyon sa ulo ni Fourth. But he remained his smile on his face.

“This must be our lucky day, Your Majesty.”

It was Enki. Nakadikit ang dulo ng baril nya sa ulo ni Fourth. His finger is slowly pulling the trigger of the gun.

“Checkmate.”

Chapter 44

Nakatulala lang ako habang nakatingin sa pangyayari sa harapan ko. Enki was still holding his gun. Nakadikit ang dulo sa likod ng ulo ni Fourth. His finger is slowly pulling the trigger. Hindi ako makagalaw kahit na alam kong anumang oras ay pwedeng pumutok ang baril.

I thought that they’re going to infiltrate the EL Ordre’s hideout today? Iyon ang sinabi nya sa akin after he treated my wounds, right? At iyon din ang sinabi ng Queen sa akin kanina. But what is he doing here?

He checkmated the King. A Queen, a Knight and a Bishop against the enemy’s King. There is no escape for him.

But I was surprised when Fourth let out a terrifying smirk on his lips. Kinilabutan ako doon and I saw the Queen was affected as well. Her lips parted as she stared at him with slightly wide eyes. Then I heard the low chuckle from Fourth’s throat.

“Says who?” And right after Fourth has said that, muli akong nakarinig ng pagkasa ng baril.

“Put down your gun, motherfucker.”

It was Auis. Nakatutok ang baril nya sa likod ng ulo ni Enki. He was smirking like he’s enjoying what’s happening. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang isipin na baka sa sobrang kasiyahan nya ay aksidente nyang maiputok ang baril.

But Enki remained unmoving. He didn’t even move a muscle kahit nakadikit din sa ulo nya ang dulo ng baril ni Aius. He still looked so serious while pointing his gun at Fourth’s head.

“I only take orders from my Queen.”

Auis chuckled. “Then die.”

“I’ll kill your King first before you could kill me.”

Shit! Ang tapang ni Enkidu! How can he say those words na parang hindi man lang natatakot na mamatay kahit na may nakadikit nang baril sa ulo nya? And his tone! Hindi man lang nagbago! Parang normal lang sa kanya ang matutukan ng baril!

I was just standing here. Pinapanood ko lang sila. I don’t know what I should do! Magpapatayan na ang mga nasa harapan ko. But I don’t know which team I should support and which team I should help!

Shit talaga! The life of a traitor.

Enki looked murderous. Hindi sya nagbibiro nang sabihin nyang papatayin nya ang King. Hindi nya itinutok ang baril kay Fourth nang wala lang. He meant to really kill him.

“No!” The Queen squealed when Enki was about to pull the trigger. “Stop! Stop, Enkidu!”

I saw the protest in Enki’s eyes. But he still put down his gun. Kahit labag talaga sa loob nya ay gagawin pa rin nya. Basta inutos ng Queen nya. Aius put down his gun too.

“Come here!” The Queen called her Bishop and pointed at the space beside her. “Don’t be rude, Enkidu! Come here!”

Naging sunud-sunuran si Enki sa utos ng Queen. He went beside her without saying anything.

“You are in the presence of the King. Bow down!”

Enki looked surprised at the Queen’s order. I am too! Pareho kami ni Enki na hindi makapaniwalang napatingin sa Queen.

I know how mad and crazy she is since I met her. Ang mga inuutos nya sa akin noon isn’t normal. And her behavior, the way she acts, the way she thinks, are very different.

She’s peculiar.

“I said bow down as an apology!” muli nyang utos kay Enki.

For the first time, nakita ko sa mga mata ni Enki na ayaw nyang sundin ang inuutos ng Queen. He doesn’t want to do it. I understand him though. Who in their right mind would bow down to an enemy? Kahit sabihin pang he’s a royal blood and a King in the game.

I didn’t expect that the meeting between the Red Faction’s Queen and the EL Ordre’s King will end up like this. Queen Eresh wanted to meet him for so long. I thought that she was just excited to kill him. Palagi nyang sinasabi iyon. But what’s happening right now is far from what she had said.

Reluctantly, Enki bow his head for Fourth. Aius and him laughed that made Enki’s jaw clenched. I stopped myself from pitying him. He chose to obey every words from the Queen that he’s willing to swallow his pride as a man. Kaya dapat ay handa sya sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. His Queen doesn’t think normally afterall.

I looked at Queen Eresh who’s staring intently at Fourth with admiration in her eyes. But there is still the intent to kill pero natatabunan iyon ng paghanga nya para sa King ng EL Ordre.

“Oh my…” she muttered. “You’re so beautiful.”

The Queen, with a poise, walked slowly towards the King without taking her eyes off him. Her lips parted seductively while approaching Fourth who looked at her intently. He smirked and played his lips with his fingers.

She stopped in front of him. She roamed her eyes around his face, stopping at every corner like memorizing every part of it.

Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong gawin. Kanina pa ako nanonood dito. I feel like I am watching some action movies tapos biglang naging ganito. Everything is so unexpected. Ang akala ko ay magiging brutal ang labanan kapag nagkita sila. Not like this. Especially with the Queen.

Umangat ang kamay ng Queen at ang sunod ko nang nakita ay hinahaplos nya na ang pisngi ni Fourth. Nawala ang ngisi sa mukha ni Fourth. I gasped! Kahit si Enki ay napaawang ang mga labi habang nakatingin sa Queen nya! While Aius is laughung his ass out!

“Your Majesty…” Enki called his Queen but she was too engrossed with the enemy’s King like he’s the most interesting thing in this world.

“Your lips… It’s so soft.” bulong ng Queen na para sa sarili nya pero narinig naming lahat. She was caressing Fourth’s lips.

Si Aius ay halos mabaliw na sa kakatawa. Si Enki naman ay parang naestatwa na habang hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin sa Queen. And I had to look away ’cause I can’t bear to see the Queen being like this. Feeling ko ay magugunaw na ang mundo dahil sa mga nangyayari.

Shit lang! Iba yata ang gustong mangyari ng Queen kaya sya excited na makita ang King ng EL Ordre!

“Alter.”

Napapitlag ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni L. I looked at my computer with the thought that his voice was coming there. Pero nakita ko syang nakatayo na sa may pintuan. Kasama sina Tracer na walang imik na nakatingin sa loob ng computer room ko. At si Archer na kasama nang tumatawa ni Aius ngayon.

“Let’s go.” L said and held out his hand.

I looked at my computer then back to L again. Naalala ko kung anong ginagawa namin kanina.

Did they find the Rook already?

“But—” I started saying but was cut off when the Queen spoke again.

“Kiss me.”

Nalaglag yata ang puso ko sa sobrang gulat! Napatingin ako sa Queen na nakahawak na sa dalawang balikat ni Fourth. She looked at him like she’s trying to seduce him. Pero si Fourth ay walang reaksiyon ang mukha.

Pero mas malala ang naging reaksyon ni Enki. Naging estatwa na nga yata sya dahil mukhang hindi na sya humihinga.

“Your Majesty, I wanna taste your lips.” Queen Eresh said and I can’t believe that I’ll be able to hear her address the enemy’s King in that way!

L entered the room and took my hand. Hindi na ako nagreklamo nang hilahin nya ako palabas. Napasipol si Archer at natatawang inakbayan si Enki.

“Let’s give them privacy.” sabi nya at isinama si Enki sa paglabas.

Naunang lumabas si Aius followed Tracer then L and me. Nakasunod sa amin sina Archer at Enki na tulala pa rin.

I saw Nergal stood at his four feet. Magpa-panic na sana ako but I was surprised when Aius went near the big cat and pet him in his head.

Natigilan ako. Kanina pa ako nagugulat sa mga nangyayari! Nergal never let him pet by anyone except for the Queen! Pero mukhang nagugustuhan nito ang paghaplos ni Aius sa balahibo nya.

“Ayos ka lang? Kumusta ang puso mo?” tanong ni Aius kay Enki pero natatawa naman.

Enki looked like he’s back from being dazed. Kumawala sya sa pagkakaakbay ni Archer sa kanya at isa-isa kaming tinignan ng masama.

“I’ll let you go for now. Pero sa susunod na pagkikita natin, hindi pwede ang walang mamamatay.” he said and turned his back against us but I called him out.

“Where’s Yucca?” I asked.

“Patay na.” sabi nya at naglakad na palayo sa amin. Hinayaan lang namin sya.

“We can’t use our hideout for now.” sabi ni Aius na inaamo pa rin si Nergal. “Let’s go to a safe place.”

“Saan?” tanong ko dahil ako lang naman ang hindi nakakaalam.

“Sa bahay ni Tracer.” Archer answered before he winked at me.

“Did you find the Rook?” tanong ko kina L at Tracer.

Tracer stopped walking and the way how he clenched his jaw was enough answer for me.

They still didn’t find him…

“I’m sorry.” I said. “Alam kong pinangako kong ibabalik ko sya. But I can’t find him.”

“We know.” Tracer said. His voice is stern.

“At least we now have access to your computers.” L said. Alam ko namang pinapalubag nya lang ang loob ko. “We can use it to find him.”

“It’s up to Fourth if he can make the Queen speak about Shielder. Mas madali kung mapapaamin nya.” Aius said.

“We will find Shielder.” L said. “We can find him.”

I felt him squeezing my hand he’s holding which gave me reassurance. I tried to smile at him as we left the Red Faction’s hideout.

We will find the Rook. We can find him.

Chapter 45

I understand why Enki left the Queen with Fourth even though they’re enemies. He must’ve realized that Fourth will not bring any harm to the Queen ’cause he needs something from her. He needs her to know the location of their Rook. And Enki knows that between the two of them, mas dehado si Fourth. If the Queen will kill him, then they will win this game.

I looked at L who was beside me at the backseat of the car. He was holding my hand but his face looked so serious. It’s usual for him to be silent but there’s something in the air that made me feel heavy.

We didn’t find the Rook. I promised them that I’ll bring him back pero hindi ko naman nagawa. I felt so bad. Ang dali kong nakagawa ng paraan para makuha sa kanila ang Rook pero wala akong maisip para maibalik sya.

The Queen is definitely hiding him somewhere I couldn’t find. I get it. I actually underestimated her. Hindi nya itatago ang Rook kahit na sa akin kung mahahanap ko naman through hacking.

And it seems like even the EL Ordre’s King is making a move just to find their missing Rook.

“What happened to your wounds?” L asked. Nakakunot ang noo nyang tinitigan ang bawat mga sugat ko. Particularly the one on my thigh.

“I did it to myself.” I said. “Para mas maniwala sila na pinahirapan nyo ako.”

Pero hindi naman naging effective. The Queen knew that I am betraying her. What should I expect? Hindi naman sya magiging Queen kung madali syang lokohin.

L sighed and pulled me towards him. Pinasandal nya ako sa dibdib nya at hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo ko.

“It’s gonna be okay.” he whispered.

Tumigil ang sasakyan sa tapat ng isang magarbong bahay. It has a layout of blue and white which made it look like a nice and cool home.

Nandoon na din si Aius at Archer paglabas namin. Nauna silang nakarating dito bago pa sa may-ari ng bahay. Mabilis silang nakarating kaya ibig sabihin ay alam na alam nila ang papunta dito. Looks like madalas silang magpunta dito.

Agad na lumapit sa akin si Archer pagbaba ko pa lang. Hinigit nya ako palayo sa grupo. I thought that he’s going to say something confidential and important and it really made me nervous. Pero nang magsalita sya ay hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko.

“I have to tell you something.” he said. Bulong na lang ang salita nya. “Hindi soundproof ang mga kwarto sa bahay ni Tracer.”

Napatingin ako sa kanya. He looked so serious pero alam kong nagbibiro lang sya.

“Ginawa lang naman ni L na soundproof ang mg kwarto sa bahay nya dahil ayaw nya ng maingay.” he continued. “You know how silent your man is.” he smirked. “Pero kung ikaw ang maingay, ibang usapan na ’yon.”

“Archer!” inis na suway ko sa kanya pero tumawa lang sya nang malakas. Naiinis akong bumalik sa tabi ni L.

Shit! Why did I ever think that he’ll tell me something important? Mukhang puro kalokohan lang yata ang alam nya! Behave sa asawa nya pero kapag sa mga kaibigan ay parang asong pakawala!

Tracer opened the door to his house and tell us to go in. Nag-aalangan pa nga ako sa pagpasok. I feel like I don’t have any rights to go inside their house. Kami tuloy ni L ang huling pumasok. Hindi naman ako pinagsarhan ng pinto ni Tracer so I am welcome, I think?“

“Hey…”

I heard a very soft voice and my eyes immediately found its owner. Standing before us is a woman with a baby in her arms. She has the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Her wavy hair made her look like a princess. I’ve seen her picture before. At mahirap makalimutan ang mukha kung ganoong kaganda.

She’s Artemis Gallagher.

“What happened? Any news about Gray?” she asked as Tracer kissed her.

“Nothing.” Tracer grimly answered. I saw her expression sadden before her eyes found mine.

Natigilan ako at agad na nag-iwas ng tingin. Ang bilis nya kasing nahanap ang mga mata ko kahit pa ilan kaming nandito sa may sala. It’s like it’s her instinct to find me, the reason for all of this.

And then I realized, she knew everything. Mukhang sinasabi sa kanya ni Tracer ang lahat. Walang itinatagong sikreto sa kanya ang asawa nya.

Nakaramdam ako ng kaunting inggit. L and I started with secrets. Itinago namin ang katauhan sa isa’t-isa and discovered afterwards. Masakit. Knowing that I didn’t meet the real him makes my heart ache. Pero sina Artemis at ang asawa nya ay hindi naglilihim sa isa’t-isa.

“Where’s Silver?” Tracer asked kaya nawala ang mga mata nya sa akin. She looked at his wife.

“Upstairs. He’s asleep when I left him.”

“I’ll check on him.” walang lingon-likod na umakyat si Tracer sa hagdan ng bahay na ’to.

Artemis looked at me again. Mukhang kilala na nya ang iba at ako na lang ang hindi. She walked towards me with a smile on her face. She’s really gorgeous.

“Hi! You’re new here. I’m Artemis Sanford. Hunter— I mean Tracer’s wife.” she introduced herself. Hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti sa mga labi nya kaya nailang ako.

I’m sure she knows about me. But why is she still smiling at me?

“I’m—” tumikhim ako. “I’m Codee Altera Vasco. Nice to meet you.”

“Same here!” she said cheerfully. “I’m sorry, I can’t offer you my hand for a handshake.”

Naiintindihan ko naman. She’s carrying her baby na mukhang nasa dalawa o tatlong buwan pa lang. Iniharap nya iyon sa akin. The baby looked like Tracer but his eyes were the same with his mother. Blue eyes.

“This is my son, River. One of the twins.”

Sakto namang bumaba si Tracer na may karga na ding bata. At nang makalapit ay nakita ko na magkamukhang-magkamukha ang mga anak nila. Halos hindi ko makitaan ng pagkakaiba.

It amazed me how Tracer knew kung sino sa kambal ang karga ni Artemis kanina.

I looked at L. He’s looking at me at hindi ko alam kung gaano na sya katagal nakatitig sa akin. I just smiled at him.

“Are you guys hungry?” Artemis asked. “Sorry, I didn’t cook dinner. Hunter didn’t tell me that we’re going to have visitors, eh.”

“I purposely didn’t tell you. Mapapagod ka lang. Ever since you started to learn how to cook, hindi ka na nagpapahinga.”

Artemis pouted her lips which made Tracer laugh. Namangha ako. This is the first tine that I saw him laughing. And the look in his eyes could tell anyone how much he loves his family.

Kung ganito ang pagmamahal nya sa pamilya nya, naiintindihan ko kung bakit nya gustong-gustong mahanap ang kapatid nya. I bet he’ll be the happiest if we could take his brother back.

“Magpa-deliver na lang tayo.” baling ni Artemis sa amin. “Is that alright?”

“Aalis na rin ako.” Aius said. “I need to check on Fourth.”

“Ako rin.” Archer said. “I need to take care of Maria.”

“Say hi to her for me.” Artemis said while smiling.

“I will.”

Nagpaalam ang dalawa at tumawag si Artemis para magpa-deliver ng kakainin namin. Pero habang naghihintay ay ipinagamit nya sa akin ang guest room na nasa taas so I could clean myself. She even let me borrow some of her clothes.

Habang nasa ilalim ng shower ay napaisip ako sa mga nangyari. Una pa lang, alam na ng Queen na tatraydurin ko sya. Siguro ay sinakyan nya lang ang mga kasinungalingang sinabi ko kanina. Hindi totoong pupunta sina Enki at Yucca sa hideout ng EL Ordre. She just said that to caught my schemes.

And I know that Yucca isn’t really dead. Tumakas sya bago pa makarating ang EL Ordre sa hideout namin.

I was blow drying my hair when I heard a knock on the door. Pumasok si Artemis na may dala-dalang first aid kit.

“Let me clean your wounds.” she said

“Huh? No need. Kaya ko naman—”

“Let me.” she said firmly. And I noticed that she’s not really a sweet woman but a fierce one. “I have something to tell you too.”

Hindi na ako nakaimik. Umupo sya sa harapan ko at sinimulang linisin ang mga sugat ko. The touch of her hand is so gentle. Kahit pa nakikita ko ang pagiging seryoso ng mukha nya.

“Please, don’t be kind to me.” I whispered but I know that she heard it. “I am becoming more and more guilty.”

She sighed as she put a bandage on my wounds. Hindi sya nakatingin sa akin nang magsalita sya.

“Hunter told me everything.”

I remained silent. Nahalata ko iyon kanina. The way how they move comfortably with one another makes me think that they’re not keeping a secret from each other.

“You know that I tried to kill you before.” I said softly. Tumango sya.

“I was mad at you. For what you did to Hunter’s parents. For what you did to me. For what you did to Gray. You’re not there when Hunter looked so broken and soulless. It was… Heartbreaking.”

Nanginig ang boses nya sa huling sinabi nya. So she stopped from putting a bandage to my wounds and took a deep breath. Nakita kong kahit sya ay nasaktan ng mga panahon na iyon.

I bet that she was heartbroken as well. Watching her beloved looking so wrecked. Siguro ay natakot sya na baka hindi na nya makita ulit ang mga ngiti ni Tracer dahil sa mga nangyari. Dahil sa mga ginawa ko.

I sighed. See? Ang dami kong taong nasaktan. And I’m unaware of it.

“But I understand you.”

Natigilan at napatitig ako sa kanya dahil sa sinabi nya. Naisip ko pa nga na baka niloloko lang ako ng mga tenga ko at mali ang narinig ko. I wanted her to repeat what she said but there’s no words that came out from my mouth due to my shock.

Artemis finished cleaning my wounds. Inayos nya ang mga ginamit nya bago tumingin sa akin. Her blue eyes feel so cold.

“I know that I don’t have enough knowledge about this since I wasn’t part of it, thankfully. But a part of me understands you, Codee.” she looked at me with pity in her eyes. “You don’t have any choice but to obey the Queen and her orders. Maybe you thought that you’re only doing it because you’re her chess piece but deep inside you, you’re doing it to protect your father. You know that it’s bad but you don’t have a choice.”

Hindi ako nagsalita. I pursed my lips para mapigilan ang emosyon na gustong kumawala sa dibdib ko.

“You obeyed her orders ’cause deep inside you, you are afraid that she’ll use your father against you if you disobey her. Which is possible, right? So you keep on following her to protect your father. You’re just unlucky that her orders were something bad.”

She really knows everything.

I shook my head. Hindi ko maintindihan pero pakiramdam ko ay kaya kong sabihin kay Artemis ang lahat. Lahat ng mga hinanakit ko. Lahat ng galit ko para sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam pero feeling ko ay mas maiintindihan nya pa ako kaysa sa sarili ko.

“I have, Artemis. May choice ako. May choice akong hindi gawin iyon. May choice akong hindi sundin ang utos ng Queen.” nagsimulang manginig ang mga labi ko. “In fact, I decided to disobey her to protect my love ones. Hypocrite I am, right? Kung kailan ako may gustong protektahan, saka ako doon kumilos.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Artemis said sa tono ng pananalita nya ay parang naiinis pa sya. “Of course, you’ll do that! It’s because you have someone you wanted to protect. You’ll do everything and anything you haven’t done before. Ganoon naman talaga if you want to protect someone, diba? I was like that to Hunter too.”

I shook my head. “Hindi mo naiintindihan. I did horrible things. Sinunod ko ang mga utos ng Queen without thinking about the consequences. Without thinking whom I will hurt. Na hindi ko naisip kung sino ang mga madadamay!”

“’Cause you are in this bloody stupid game, Codee!” halos tumili nang sabi nya. “Hindi naman maiiwasan iyon! I don’t even know why I’m doing this. But I want you to know that it’s not entirely your fault. May kasalanan ka but we know that we shouldn’t put all the blame on you!”

Napaiyak ako. Ewan ko. Dahil ba sa halos tumili na sya para ipaintindi sa akin iyon o dahil sa mga sinabi nya? Her words were like a magic that trigger something in me. It gave me hope na hindi naman talaga ako masamang tao. That I’m not really evil. That I deserve L’s feelings for me.

“You’re not a hypocrite, Codee.” sabi nyang mas mahinahon na ngayon. “It’s just you being a human. It’s a human nature to protect someone you love.”

Tuluyan na akong napaiyak. Shit… She’s so kind! Even if she looks and acts like a brat, she’s still so kind. Tinangka ko syang patayin dati pero ganito nya akong tratuhin ngayon.

Artemis smiled at me. “And that’s what Hunter thought, too. Actually, I wouldn’t think like this if it’s not for him. He explained everything to me. Sarado lang ang isip nya ngayon to see your reason. But he will once everything is set right.”

Sigurado ako na ipinaliwanag ni Tracer sa kanya ang lahat para hindi sya masyadong maapektuhan ng galit. But still, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko sa mga sinabi nya.

Artemis dried my cheeks with the back of her hand and smiled at me.

“So look us in the eye, okay? Stop punishing yourself. I’m sure that you can make everything right. And I will support you on that.”

I finally smiled back at her. She pouted before she rolled her eyes at me. Natawa ako. Halos maubusan na sya ng pasensya kanina para ipaliwanag sa akin ang naiisip nya.

Her words gave me so much courage to correct all my mistakes. I couldn’t believe that I will find the support and warmth to the enemy team, the EL Ordre.

I hope that my team will realize this too. Then maybe, we could stop the game.

But no, everyone has their own stories to continue it.

And I know that the Queen will now allow to finish this game without defeating the EL Ordre’s King.

Chapter 46

I looked at the door when I heard it clicked open. I automatically smiled when I saw that it was L. Tipid syang ngumiti sa akin at pumasok sa loob.

I had fun when we were having our dinner. Nagising kasi ang kambal na anak nina Artemis at Hunter so they had to carry them dahil ayaw nang nakahiga lang. The twins looked so cute! Nakita ko ang asul nilang mga mata na nakuha nila sa nanay nila. And they really looked like their father!

But I got worried when I thought that Tracer will pass down his position as the EL Ordre’s Rook to one of the twins someday. But L explained everything to me. Na hindi na isang chess piece si Tracer since Fourth vouch for his freedom.

Hindi ko maiwasan ang mainggit. I know that it’s unfortunate for all of us chess pieces to be a part in this bloody game. But they’re lucky with their team. They had a choice to be free since their King is considerate. A higher piece is willing to vouch for their freedom.

Sa amin kasi, wala kaming choice. We must play the game until the end. No one has a choice to choose from. Hindi kami pwedeng maging malaya sa laro.

Napaisip ako. If Fourth is willing to free them, then why are they still part of the game? Bakit hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin umaalis si L? O si Archer? Even Lucius is willing to free him since he’s a higher rank too. Pero hindi sila umaalis.

At kahit na hindi na parte ng laro sina Tracer at Kier, tumutulong pa rin sila.

Doon ko naisip na malalim ang samahan nila. That they just don’t see each other as a team members. They see each other as a family members instead.

I hope… that I was part of their team too. Baka sakaling hindi ako nakagawa ng ganitong kasamang mga bagay. Hindi sana nadamay ang mga nadamay. Baka hindi ko sana kinamuhian ang sarili ko.

Sinundan ko ng tingin si L hanggang sa makaupo sya sa tabi ko dito sa kama. Umusog ako palapit sa kanya at ipinatong ang baba ko sa may balikat nya. I could smell his sweet and fresh breath na parang kay tagal na simula nang huli kong maamoy.

“I want to see my father.” ang malambing kong sabi sa kanya.

I haven’t seen him ever since the EL Ordre took me to their hideout. But they are assuring me that my father is safe.

Dapat lang ’no?! Kinidnap-kidnap nila ako tapos hindi nila poprotektahan ang Papa ko?!

I miss him already. I miss his overprotectiveness. I miss him being paranoid for my safety. I miss him.

Kung sana ay naging kuntento na lang ako sa pag-aalaga nya at hindi na sinubukang alamin ang tungkol sa totoo kong ama ay hindi mangyayari ang lahat ng ito.

But it’s inevitable. Since I am his daughter. Tama lang naman siguro na ginusto kong alamin ang tungkol sa totoo kong ama. And if I didn’t do that, then I wouldn’t have met L.

“Not with your look right now.” L said.

Napanguso ako. Sabagay. Baka atakihin pa sa puso si Papa kapag nakita akong punong-puno ng mga sugat ang katawan.

Pwede ko namang takpan at idaan sa pananamit. Pero masakit pa rin ang malalim na sugat sa hita ko. At kung papansinin ay makikita nila na paika-ika akong maglakad.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” he said. He caressed the small bandage on my arm. His touch feels so rough. “Don’t hurt yourself again.”

“Baka kasi makahalata sila.” bulong ko habang pinapanood ang masuyo nyang paghaplos sa bandage sa mga sugat ko.

Pero nawalan din naman ng kwenta ang pananakit ko sa sarili ko dahil nakahalata pa rin ang Queen. Pero syempre, di ko na iyon babanggitin kay L. Baka pagalitan pa ako.

“Then so be it.” L said. “We were on standby that time, Codee. We could save you fast if anything bad happens.” giit nya.

Tumango ako. Alam ko naman iyon. Pero kasi, I wanted to do everything in my own para man lang makabawi sa mga kasalanan ko.

“Please, Codee.” sabi ni L na mukhang hindi nakumbinsi sa pagtango ko. “Don’t hurt yourself again. You are not alone in this fight. Rely on me. I told you that I’ll protect you, right?’

I smiled at him. His words warms my heart. Finally, hindi na ako mag-iisa. May katulong na ako. Hindi na ako nakakulong lang sa isang kwarto sa hideout at walang ibang ginawa kung hindi ang sundin ang utos ng Queen.

But now, I have L with me.

Hindi ko na napigilan. Ang isang kamay ko ay pumunta sa batok nya para hilahin sya palapit sa akin at bigyan sya ng halik.

Pareho kaming napabuntong-hininga nang maglapat ang mga labi naman. His lips spread warmth through my heart that was also wounded. Wounded by the mistakes that I did. Wounded by the conscience that I’m feeling.

But L’s lips were like a bandage. Nagawa nyang tapalan ang sugat doon gamit ang pagmamahal na pinaparamdam nya sa akin sa paghalik nya.

Shit… I really love this man.

Ang plano ko sana ay magaan at mabilis na halik lang pero nang gumalaw ang mga labi ni L ay nawala na ako. I was lost in our own worlds. All that matters to me is L who was kissing me like I’m the most beautiful woman that existed.

I caressed his jaw and opened my lips to kiss him fully. I moaned when his tongue entered my mouth and devoured my whole being. His tongue became playful. Like seeking and mining for a gold.

Naramdaman ko ang kamay nyang humaplos sa bewang ko. His hands traced the curves of my body like he was trying to memorize every bits of me.

I encircled my arms on his neck and pulled him closer to me. Naramdaman kong inangat nya ang pang-upo ko at pinaupo ako sa kandungan nya. I was straddling him but he didn’t stopped kissing.

He sucked my tongue and a moan escaped from my throat. Nag-iinit na ang pakiramdam ko. Mas lalo pa nang mula sa bewang ko ay umangat pa ang kamay nya. His hands found my breast and gently squeezed it.

But then, he stopped.

I groaned in protest nang paghiwalayin nya ang mga labi namin. Tinanggal nya ang kamay nya sa dibdib ko at ipinulupot iyon sa bewang ko.

“Why did you stopped?” inis na tanong ko. He chuckled and his jet black eyes danced with amusement.

“You’re wounded.” simpleng sagot nya kaya mas nainis pa ako.

“Ano ngayon? Hindi naman makikipaghalikan sayo ang mga sugat ko, ah?!”

Mas lalo pa akong nainis nang malakas syang tumawa. Napatitig ako sa kanya. His laughter sounds so good and manly. Buong-buo ang boses nya at malalim pa. Minsan ko lang sya makitang ganito kaya kahit na inis ay hindi ko natiis na titigan sya

“You’ll only get hurt more.” L said nang makabawi sa pagtawa.

“Kaya ko naman.”

He laughed again. “You need to heal fast so you could see your father soon.”

Napanguso ako at bumulong. “Kaya ko naman, eh.”

Hindi na ako masyadong nagpumilit pa. Alam kong ayaw pa nyang itigil ang halikan namin base sa bilis ng paghinga nya at lakas ng tibok ng puso nya. But he’s worried that I might get hurt. Na baka mas lalo pang lumala ang mga sugat ko.

And he’s right. Kailangan kong gumaling agad para makita na si Papa. I miss him so much.

Ilang araw lang rin naman ay gumaling na ang mga sugat ko. Kahit ang pinakamalalim kong sugat ay okay na. Nakakapaglakad na rin ako ng maayos. May konting kirot pa rin dahil hindi pa masyadong galing sa loob pero kaya namang tiisin.

L was already driving his way to our house. Sobrang excited ako. Feeling ko ay ang tagal na simula nang huli kong makita si Papa. And I need to see with my own eyes that he’s really okay. Lalo pa at alam na ng Queen at ni Enki ang pagta-traydor ko.

Malapit na kami sa bahay at natatanaw ko na  iyon nang mabilis na napatapak si L sa preno. Muntik na akong sumubsob sa dashboard kung hindi lang ako hinila pabalik ng seatbelt ko!

“What happened?” tanong ko at tumingin kay L. But he wasn’t looking at me. He’s looking outside, straight ahead with a grim expression on his face. Nagngangalit ang mga bagang nya habang mariin na nakatitig sa labas.

I looked at where he was looking. Nahigit ko ang paghinga ko nang makita si Enki na nakaharang sa daraanan namin. Pero ang malala ay may hawak syang baril na nakatutok sa direksyon namin. The gun has a slicer.

Then I saw his lips move. His teeth were gritting as he say the words.

“Bring me back my Queen.”

Chapter 47

I looked at L who has a serious expression on his face. Nakatingin sya kay Enki na nasa labas. Wala akong nakikitang takot sa mga mata nya habang may nakatutok na baril sa direksyon nya.

He casually opened the glove compartment and picked up his gun. Pagkatapos ay tumingin sya sa akin. Nakuha ko naman agad ang gusto nyang sabihin. He opened the door at his side and went out of the car. Sumunod akong bumaba ng sasakyan.

“Bring me back my Queen!” ulit na sabi ni Enki na seryoso ang mga mata.

I am nervous but I tried to control my emotions. Sa itsura kasi ni Enki ay mukhang hindi sya magdadalawang isip na barilin si L kung hindi namin ilalabas ang Queen.

Bakit ba sa amin nya hinanap ang Queen nya? Sya ang palaging kasama pero sa amin sya maghahanap? And he knew that the last person who’s with the Queen is Fourth! Kaya kay Fourth nya dapat hanapin at hindi sa amin!

Where is the Mad Queen anyway?

“Bring us back our Rook first.” L said calmly while pointing his gun to Enki. But there’s a danger in his voice.

I flinched when Enki shoots the ground where L was standing. Ni hindi ako nakatili sa sobrang gulat! Malapit na malapit sa mga paa ni L ang pagkakabaril nya. But L didn’t even move a muscle. He’s really trained for this!

Samantalang ako ay kulang na kulang. Kaya siguro hindi ako kailanman iniligay sa aktwal na mission. I was always on their back, guiding my team throughout the mission.

Sa itsura ni Enki ngayon ay mukhang desperado na syang mahanap ang Queen namin. Ilang araw na ba simula nang magpunta kami sa hideout ng Red Faction at iwan ang Queen kay Fourth? So I understand why Enki is acting this way. Ngayon lang sya nalayo ng ganitong katagal sa Queen na wala man lang yatang balita sa kung ano nang nangyayari sa kanya.

“Hindi ako nagbibiro!” Enki hissed. Galit na ang itsura nya ngayon. “Bring the Queen back to me!”

“Shit, Enki! You’re too obsess with her!” hindi ko na napigilan ang sumabat.

Enki pointed his gun at me. But L was quick and guarded me with his body.

“Shut up, traitor!” I heard Enki said. Gumalaw ako para makita ko pa rin sya.

Nagulat ako nang makita si Archer na nasa likuran na ni Enki habang nakatutok ang baril sa lalaki. He’s fast! He touched the end of the barrel at the back of Enki’s head. Pero hindi ko nakitaan ng anumang pagbabago ang mukha ni Enki.

“C’mon, bro.” Archer said. “Friends na tayo diba? Put down your gun, nice and slow.”

But Enki remained unmoving. Nakatutok pa rin ang baril nya sa amin ni L at galit na nakatingin sa amin. He looked really, really mad. Pero para sa akin ay mukha syang bata na inagawan ng laruan.

“I don’t wanna do this, bro.” Archer’s voice is serious now. “I don’t want to go against the plan. Pero kapag may sinaktan ka sa kanila, sasabog ang utak mo palabas ng bungo mo.”

Nagulat ako sa paraan nang pagbabanta ni Archer. I saw him as the group’s joker. Pinapagaan nya ang seryosong sitwasyon. Just like what he did at the rooftop when they abducted me. Para sa akin, nakakakaba ang sitwasyon na iyon. Three of EL Ordre’s men came for me. Pero nagbiro si Archer kaya kahit papaano ay gumaan ang pakiramdam ko noon.

But he also knows when to be serious. Just like what he did to me. Noong sinabi nya sa akin ang lahat ng mga kasalanan ko para kunsensyahin ako.

And now, this.

Napakapit ako braso ni L na nakaharang sa akin para protektahan ako. I noticed Enki’s finger is slowly pulling the trigger. Ganoon din si L. Walang kahit na sino sa kanila ang gustong magbaba ng baril. Kahit si Enki. Kahit na sya ang pinaka-dehado sa lahat.

Pero bago pa may pumutok na baril, we noticed a car driving on his way towards us. Tumigil iyon sa harapan namin. We saw the Queen and Fourth went out of the car.

“Your Majesty…” Enki muttered, looking so relieved that his Queen is in good shape.

“Put down your gun, Enkidu.” the Queen ordered him while Fourth leaned casually on the hood of his car with his hands inside the pockets of his pants.

Nagulat si Enki pero hindi pa rin ibinaba ang baril. “I will, Your Majesty. But please, come back to the hideout with me.”

“I won’t.” the Queen said at mas ikinagulat pa iyon ni Enki. Even I as well. I saw Fourth smirked pero hindi naman sya nagsalita.

So all this time na hinahanap sya ni Enki, magkasama sila ni Fourth? And now, she’s telling us that she won’t go back to the hideout? Sasama sya kay Fourth?

“Your Majesty—” Enki’s words were cut off by the Queen.

“Be a good servant like you’ve always been. Put down your gun. Don’t ruin my plan, Enkidu.”

The Queen’s voice were full of command and authority. Na kahit akong walang hawak at nakataas na baril ay parang gustong sundin ang utos nya. How long have I been following her orders? How long have I been hearing her voice? Kahit yata sa panaginip ay kabisadong-kabisado ko ang boses nya. And by instinct, susundin ko ang anumang inuutos nya.

Her voice was like my nightmare.

Walang nagawa si Enki kundi ang ibaba ang baril. L and Archer did the same. Tumalikod ang Queen at akmang sasakay na ulit sa loob ng kotse.

“Where are you going, Your Majesty?” Enki asked. Tumingin sa kanya abg Queen na seryoso ang mga mata.

“Don’t follow us.”

Fourth opened the door for her. Nang maisara ay tumingin sya kay Enki at ngumisi na parang nang-aasar pa. Then he looked at us.

“L, Alter, Archer. To the hideout.”

“What about my father?” I asked. Alam kong nandito si Archer dahil sya ngayon ang nagbabantay kay Papa. Pero kung si Archer ay sasamang bumalik sa hideout, no one will guard my father. It’s dangerous especially that Enki is here.

“I sent my royal guards to guard your father. But don’t worry. I am certain that no one will try to harm him.” he said before he took a glance at Enki and went inside his car.

Pumasok na rin kami ni L sa loob ng kotse at napatingin ako kay Enki na nakatingin sa papalayong sasakyan kung saan nakasakay ang Queen. Archer tapped him on his back before walking towards to where his car is.

I pity him. Looks like the Queen is really interested at Fourth para sumama ng ganoon lang. I know Enki’s feelings for her at masakit para sa kanya ang makita na sumama sa ibang lalaki ang Queen nya. Maybe he thought that he’ll be the one to stay by his side for the rest of their lives. Pero sumingit si Fourth at tinangay ang Queen nya. Parang tinapon na lang sya sa isang tabi.

“Bakit magkasama ang Queen at si Fourth?” I asked L when he was driving our way to their hideout.

“He’s making her spill where Shielder is. In case that we can’t find him through hacking.”

So he’s just using the Queen? Pero mukhang may plano din ang Queen para sa kanya.

Naabutan namin ang Queen na nasa gitna ng sala at nililibot ng tingin ang hideout nang makarating kami doon. Tracer, Viper, Kier, Aius and Fourth were just watching her. Ilang sandali ay dumating na din si Archer kaya nakumpleto ang lahat.

L is beside me. His arms wrapped around my waist. Napangiti ako. This is his way for giving me comfort. Kahit na hindi sya magsalita ay alam ko ang ginagawa nya. He knows how the Queen affected my life kaya nag-aalala sya sa akin ngayon.

“This is EL Ordre’s hideout?” the Queen asked. There’s a disappointment in her voice and her eyes. “This is just a very ordinary house.”

Very ordinary house with an armory, secret emergency escape and high-tech security. Ganoon ang definition nya ng very ordinary house?

The Queen walked towards the sofa. She looked at home para sa kalabang kagaya nya. Habang ang lahat ay pinapanood lang sya.

“Don’t you have any throne for the King and Queen?” she asked. Itinuro ang ang mga sofa na nakapaikot kung saan madalas doon nagmi-meeting ang EL Ordre. “Those seats are rubbish.”

“You’re crazy.” hindi na napigilang sabat ni Archer.

The Queen just shrugged her shoulders. Umupo pa sa pang isahang sofa doon sa pinakadulo. She looked like she’s a boss having a meeting with her employees.

“This is uncomfortable.” sabi nya habang naghahanap ng maayos na pwesto sa pagkakaupo nya.

“Ganyan ba talaga sya?” bulong na tanong ni Kier sa akin. Nakangiwing tumango ako.

Mas malala pa dyan kung alam nyo lang.

“Bring me back my brother.”

The Queen stopped moving and slowly looked at Tracer. She chuckled before she waved her hand in front of her like she’s dismissing the thought.

“Oh, he’s dead.”

I wasn’t surprised when Tracer walked towards her with fury in his eyes. Pero bago pa sya makalapit sa babae ay napigilan na sya nina Archer at Viper.

“What’s with that reaction?” gulat na tanong ng Queen bago tumingin sa akin. “You didn’t tell them, Alter?”

Dahil sa sinabi nya ay napatingin sa akin ang lahat. They all looked so curious. Nagtatanong ang mga mata nila. And when I looked at Tracer, I almost cried. He has a pained expression on his face. Pero umaasa din ang tingin nya sa akin. It’s like I am his hope to know the truth about his brother.

And I couldn’t break his heart even more.

“He’s alive.” I said and looked at the Queen. She rolled her eyes and snorted.

“Oh, please…”

Mukhang hindi na nakapagpigil si Tracer. Naglabas sya ng baril at tinutukan ang Queen.

“Tracer!” Aius warned him but Tracer ignored him.

“Tell me where my brother is.” Tracer hissed at every words. “Or I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

The Queen chuckled na mas nagpalala pa sa galit ni Tracer. But she doesn’t look scared even a bit. Instead, she stood up. Marahan syang naglakad palapit kay Tracer like she has all the time in the world.

Nang makalapit ay ngumiti pa sya kay Tracer. She guided his gun at her head. Idinikit nya pa iyon sa ulo nya.

“Go on. Shoot me.” she said. “Then you will never know if he’s really dead or alive or where he is.”

For a second, Tracer looked murderous. Na parang gusto nyang ibuhos ang lahat ng hinanakit nya sa pagpatay sa Queen. But he can’t. Dahil ang Queen lang ang nakakaalam ng lahat tungkol sa kapatid nya.

He had no choice but to put down his gun. Naramdaman ko ang paghaplos ni L sa bewang ko. Napatingin ako sa kanya. He looked at me like he’s telling me everything is gonna be okay.

I hope so too…

The Queen tsked. “You’re no fun.”

Bumalik sya sa sofang kinauupuan nya kanina at sumandal pa doon. She looked comfortable now. Hindi na ako magugulat kung utusan nya kami para ipagtimpla sya ng kape.

I noticed her staring at Fourth and Auis who are talking seriously. Mukhang kanina pa sila may pinag-uusapan at hindi na nila pinansin ang bisita. Whatever their topic is, I’m sure that it’s more important that the Mad Queen.

The Queen’s eyes squinted while looking at Aius and Fourth. Parang may iniisip syang kung ano habang nakatingin sa kanila. Napatingin tuloy ako sa dalawa pero wala naman akong kakaibang nakikita.

Then I heard the Queen broke into laughter. Napatingin kaming lahat sa kanya.

“This is insane!” she exclaimed.

She laughed so hard but still with a poise. She’s beautiful and I know na nakikita rin iyon ng mga kasama ko. Maybe that’s why they were shocked that she’s like this.

Ako nga na halos buong buhay ko syang kasama ay hindi pa rin sya maintindihan. Paano pa kaya sila?

“Oh my God!” the Queen said between her laughter. “This is insane! This is really, really insane!”

Nakatingin lang kaming lahat sa kanya habang mag-isa syang tumatawa. Kahit sina Aius at Fourth ay natigil sa pag-uusap para tignan ang Queen.

Confusion are in their eyes. Si L ay nakakunot ang noo habang magkasalubong ang mga kilay. Hindi na ako magtataka sa naging reaksyon nila. Sanay na ako na ganito ang babaeng nasa harap namin.

She’s really a Mad Queen.

“I could say that it’s a smart strategy, gentlemen.” sabi ng Queen nang humupa na ang pagtawa nya. She wiped the corner of her eyes and chuckled.

“Ano bang pinagsasabi mo?” Archer asked.

The Queen chuckled again and looked at everyone. “You are all stupid not to notice!”

“Just get straight to the point.” Viper said calmly.

The Queen bit her lower lip to stop herself from laughing. She slowly let go of her lips before she smirked.

“Fourth or Loki or whatsoever. He is not really the King.”

She raised her hand and pointed at someone. It was Aius.

“It is him. He is the real King of EL Ordre.”

Chapter 48

Silence is all that I can hear. Halos mabingi na nga ako sa sobrang katahimikan. We are all looking at the Queen like she had gone mad. Pero matagal na naman talaga syang ganito. Parang mas lumala na nga lang ngayon.

Gulong-gulo ang mga mukha namin, lalo na ang mga EL Ordre dahil sa sinabi ng Queen. She looked confident when she said that Aius is the real King. She has a smile of satisfaction on her face kahit hindi pa naman napapatunayan ang sinabi nya.

“I think there’s something wrong in your head.” si Viper na ang bumasag sa katahimikan.

“No. Something is wrong to all of you.” The Queen rolled her eyes. “My God! You didn’t really notice anything? I was with Loki for only a few days but I am able to tell that he’s not really the King!”

“Fourth!” tawag ni Archer kay Fourth na seryoso lang ang mukha. “Ano ba ang pinagsasabi nito? Alisin mo ’to dito! Sumasakit lang ang ulo ko!”

But Fourth didn’t say anything. He neither confirmed nor denied the Queen’s words. Nakikita kong umaasa din ng paliwanag ang mga EL Ordre sa kanya pero hindi nya ibinigay.

“The way how Loki listen intently to his words.” she pointed at Aius. “Like it’s the most important thing above all else. None of you have noticed that?”

She called Fourth as Loki. First name basis na sila?

“Fourth is the one who’s always giving us orders. And he has a crown necklace. He is the King.” Viper said.

The Queen snorted. “That’s a very shallow reason. Everyone can wear a crown necklace and give orders.” she pointed at Viper. “Even you who’s obviously a Pawn.”

“Fourth, Aius.” Archer called the attention of the two men. “Ipaliwanag nyo nga kung anong sinasabi ng babaeng ’to. Ngayon lang ako nainis sa babae!”

“I don’t like you either.” the Queen said. Humalukipkip pa sya at sumandal sa upuan.

Napamaang si Archer. “Wala naman akong sinasabing gusto kita.” he hissed and looked at Fourth. “Fourth!”

Archer called Fourth’s name like he was asking for a help. Mukha na syang aburido at gulong-gulo. I know that he’s smart pero ngayon ay mukhang hindi gumagana ang utak nya para makapag-isip.

Pero hindi pa rin nagsasalita si Fourth. He’s just staring at the Queen. His sea-green eyes were looking menangcily at the Queen. Parang nang-iintimidate. Like he’s reading everything about the Queen with just his eyes.

“Bakit hindi ka nagsasalita?” Archer asked and looked at Aius instead. “Ikaw, Aius?”

But Aius didn’t say anything as well. Nakatingin lang din sya sa Queen na parang naghihintay sa kung ano pa ang sasabihin nya.

“They are not saying anything ’cause I am right!” the Queen said and even had the guts to smirk confidently.

Nanatiling nakatitig lang si Archer kina Fourth at Aius. He’s waiting for them to say anything. Dahil hindi sya naniniwala sa pinagsasabi ng Queen. But their reactions is giving him suspicion.

Napatingin ako kay L para tignan din ang reaksyon nya. But I didn’t see anything. His face is blank while looking at the Queen.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Is he just hiding his emotions?

“Still not believing me?” tanong ng Queen at walang sumagot sa kanya. “Let me tell you my theory then.”

Saka lang napatingin ang lahat sa kanya. Maybe even if they think that she’s really crazy, gusto pa rin nilang malaman kung paano nasabi iyon ng Queen.

Mukha namang nagustuhan ng Queen ang atensyong nakukuha nya. She smiled and sit up straight but with a poise.

“I had my very first suspicion when Loki introduced himself to me. He told me his real name and him being the second cousin of Prince Wales of England.” she chuckled. “His name is already long as fuck so he doesn’t need to introduce himself like that.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Kier asked.

“Oh, please… He told me his real identity. For the group who’s so secretive with their members, he was the only one who revealed who he really is. That’s when I thought that he wanted me to think that he’s the King just because he has a royal blood.”

Napatingin ako kay Fourth. The way he introduced himself to me was very different. Sinabi nya lang na sya si Fourth ng EL Ordre. Habang sa Queen ay halos sabihin na nya ang buong pagkatao nya.

I was surprised that he has a royal blood. Mas lalo lang akong nakumbinsi noon na sya nga talaga ang King. That’s why the Queen’s words are actually making sense to me.

“And then the necklace.” the Queen continued. “You deliberately wore that necklace to lead them into thinking that you’re the King. When in fact, it is him.” she pointed at Aius.

I frowned. “Paano mo nasabi na si Aius talaga ang King?”

The Queen rolled her eyes at me. “I feel something in him. The authority. The presence of being a King. And I noticed how Loki almost bow whenever he’s talking to him. I’ve been a Queen all my life. I know the look of a person who’s respecting someone. I can read them like the back of my palm.”

“Sabihin na natin na naniniwala kami sayo.” Viper said. “But why would they swap their pieces?”

The Queen looked scandalous. “Why are you asking me?” but she laughed afterwards. “Here’s my theory about that. It has something to do about our Knight. Our dead Knight. Remember him, Alter?”

Nagulat ako sa pagtawag nya sa pangalan ko kaya napapitlag ako. Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng hawak sa akin ni L kaya medyo kumalma naman ako.

Shit… He can be my human lollipop! Napapakalma nya rin ako! Mas mabilis pa kaysa kapag kumakain ako ng lollipop!

The Queen is talking about our dead Knight. Na wala kaming kaalam-alam kung anong nangyari. It was when L managed to go through the firewall of my computers for the first time. He deleted that information of the Knight that the gamemasters had uploaded in the database. Ni hindi ko man lang nabasa ang information kaya hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari sa Knight. And that’s when I decided to tighten the security wall para wala na ulit makapasok na unauthorized access. Ako din naman pala ang mahihirapan sa huli.

“I remember.” sagot ko. The Queen smiled and looked at Fourth and Aius.

“Something happened back then that’s why you decided to swap, am I pretty right?”

I looked at Aius and noticed how his face darkened at every second. He gritted his teeth that makes his jaw clenched in a very manly way. His black eyes looked murderous. Nakadagdag pa ang pagiging maangas ng mukha nya. The stud earrings on his ears glinted on the light.

Queen Eresh smiled at his reaction. Parang inaasahan nya nang ganoon ang magiging reaksiyon ni Aius kaya nagpatuloy pa sya.

“Ah… I remember.” she said. Her lips broke into a sweet smile. “I remember what my deceased Knight had told me back then. It was many, many years ago. He had a suspicion about the EL Ordre’s King. That their King has a Queen other than the EL Ordre’s Queen.”

Fourth looked at Aius who looked really, really mad right now. I am afraid that he might go berserk anytime. Nakakuyom na din ang dalawang kamao nya habang nagpipigil ng galit.

“Ang ingay…” L commented with his lazy voice. Napatingin ako sa kanya na mukhang naiinis na.

But the Queen continued. “My Knight said that the King-in-suspicion fell inlove with a woman. So he decided to kill that woman to test if he’s really the King.”

“What happened?” tanong ni Kier na kunot na kunot ang noo.

The Queen shrugged her shoulders. “Who knows? Our Knight never came back. So we assumed that he died.” she looked at Fourth and Aius. “Do you know what happened to the girl?”

“Anong kinalaman ng kwento mo sa pagpapalit nila ng chess piece?” Archer asked.

The Queen considered his question. Mukha syang nag-iisip ng kung ano. She even pouted while in deep thought.

“I don’t know…” sabi nya nang hindi na makaisip ng isasagot. “But I’m certain that it has something to do with their reason.” she looked at Aius. “What happened to the girl?”

I heard L tsked beside me. Napatingin ako sa kanya at nakita ko ang galit sa mga mata nya habang nakatingin din sa Queen. Pero agad din iyong nawala nang kumurap sya.

What was that? May alam din sya?

Aius remained silent. Walang nagtangkang magsalita dahil hinihintay ang sagot nya sa tanong ng Queen. Alam kong gulong-gulo na rin ang iba sa mga pinagsasabi ng reyna but a part of them believes in her. Lalo pa at walang sinasabi sina Aius at Fourth.

Why aren’t they denying it? Is it the truth?

“She died…”

Kahit na nakatingin ako kay Aius ay hindi ko mapaniwalaan na sya ang nagsalita. He sounds different. Very contradicting with the way he looks.

“Angela died.” he said.

The Queen’s mouth formed into an “O”. Pero hindi naman sya mukhang nabagabag sa sinabi nya. Instead, she looked proud. Proud dahil maraming tama sa sinabi nya.

“Your Knight killed her. So I killed him as well.” Aius said. I saw the pain in his eyes while looking at the Queen. “Mula pa noon, mahilig na talaga kayong mandamay ng mga inosente.”

Walang nagsasalita habang nakatingin kay Aius. Napatitig na rin ako sa kanya. He looked like he’s in pain but he’s trying to hide it. Mukhang ngayon lang ulit napag usapan ang tungkol dito kaya nahirapan syang itago ang emosyon nya.

He fell inlove with a girl. Kaya sinabi ng Knight namin na dalawa ang Queen ng EL Ordre. The acting Queen and the Queen inside the King’s heart. But she was killed by our Knight. Para lang i-test kung sya nga ba talaga ang King.

Shit talaga… Napakarami naming kasalanan sa kanila!

“Wait… Does that mean that you’re really the King?” naguguluhang tanong ni Archer.

Aius looked at him. He then looked at the EL Ordre’s members one by one.

“I am Lucius D’Angelo. Also known as Aius. The King of EL Ordre.”

“Fucker…” I heard Tracer muttered. Parang kusa na lang iyon lumabas sa bibig nya. Habang si Archer naman ay mukhang naestatwa na.

“How?” Viper asked, looking confused. “I thought Fourth is the King?”

Aius walked towards the one-seater sofa. Sa katapat lang ng Queen. Ibinagsak nya ang sarili nya doon. Nakasunod naman si Fourth sa kanya.

“Fourth is a Von Amstel. We took advantage of him having a royal blood. Para hindi kayo maghinala na hindi talaga sya ang totoong King.”

Naramdaman kong ipinaikot ni L ang dalawang mga braso nya sa bewang ko. Pumwesto sya sa likod ko at niyakap ako. He leaned his forehead on my shoulders. Mukha syang napapagod na.

Unbelievable! Importante ang mga sinasabi ni Aius ngayon pero nakaramdam pa talaga sya ng pagod?!

“We spread the rumors among the members and the ex-members of EL Ordre that the Von Amstel bloodline is the King.” Aius said. “The former EL Ordre members, they didn’t know about the real identity of their members. Itinago nila iyon sa isa’t-isa. Ang alam lang nila ay kung sino-sino ang higher pieces pero hindi ang posisyon nila. Except for the Queen. She was the only woman belonged to the higher pieces.”

“Why did you swap your pieces?” Tracer asked. It was Fourth who answered him.

“I pretended to be the King to protect the real King.”

“The Red Faction’s Knight found out that I’m the King. Even if we killed him, it’s still risky and dangerous. So my father suggested that Fourth and I should swap our pieces. To keep off the Red Faction from the truth.”

“Just like castling but with a Bishop.” Kier commented.

Aius looked at Tracer. His eyes were tired and pained.

“Hindi lang ang mga magulang mo ang inosenteng nadamay sa laro, Tracer. Nadamay din ang babaeng mahal ko. The only woman that I love and will ever love.”

“And that’s your mistake.” the Queen intervened. “In the game of chess, there is only one Queen for each teams. Kung maging dalawa, kailangang patayin ang isa.”

“Shut up.” L hissed pero hindi naman nag-aangat ng ulo sa balikat ko. Humigpit din ang pagkakayakap nya sa akin.

“But you were going with us when were doing our missions.” Viper said while looking at Aius.

“Of course, stupid!” pagsingit na naman ng Queen na feel at home talaga. “Then you will be suspicious! Even if you thought that he’s the King’s Bishop, he still need to go with you on a mission sometimes so you won’t suspect him of being the King!”

“Bakit parang alam na alam mo ang lahat?” Archer asked the Queen. Mukhang inis na inis na talaga sya sa babae.

And to pissed him more, the Queen smirked and leaned her back on the sofa while looking comfortable.

“Of course…” she said sweetly. “I am not stupid like everyone of you.”

Matinding pagpipigil ang kinailangan ni Archer para hindi patulan ang Queen. I heard L smiled like he knows what’s happening with Archer kahit pa hindi nya nakikita dahil kanina pa sya nakasubsob sa balikat ko.

“You should’ve told us.” Tracer said at Aius. “We could protect you.”

Auis shook his head. “It’s risky. Baka may makalabas na impormasyon. If the Red Faction learned about this back then, baka maagang natapos ang laro.”

“I could say that it’s a nice strategy.” the Queen said. “We will do everything to kill you back then.”

“I know.” Aius said. “Pero kahit malaman mo ang totoo ngayon, wala kang magagawa. You’re in the enemy’s lair.”

The Queen seems unaffected by Aius’ words. She even managed to smiled sweetly at him.

“I know that as well.”

“You used Fourth para sya ang puntiryahin ng kalaban.” Archer said. “So the Red Faction wouldn’t think that you’re the King.”

“It was because I’m a weak King.” Aius said. “I couldn’t even protect the woman that I love. So I need Fourth to act like you have a strong King.”

I looked at Aius. He looked so broken. Sa kabila ng maangas nyang ayos at ang pagiging masaya nya ay nagtatago ang isang lalaking nasasaktan. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. How many times that we hurt the EL Ordre because we took something from them? Ilang beses na ba namin silang nasaktan dahil lang idinamay namin ang mga inosente nilang mga mahal sa buhay?

Kung isa itong palabas, siguro ay sila ang Hero at tagapagligtas ng bayan na tumutulong sa kapwa. While we are the villain who only knows how to be a shit everytime.

They are not the enemies. We are.

Chapter 49

Warning: Sp

g

---

All of us were still shock by the truth. Kahit na hindi ako myembro ng EL Ordre ay nagulat pa rin ako. Paano na lang kaya sila? They thought Fourth is their King then suddenly, it was Aius now.

Even I thought that Fourth is the King. He was too good in manipulating my emotions back then para pumayag akong maging traitor sa grupo ko. He did it para hindi na ako makawala sa gusto nyang mangyari. And the authority that he has, he is fitted to be the King.

But I think all of those characteristics that he has is because he’s a royalty. Maybe he acquired that personality and skills to manipulate people dahil isa syang royalty at kailangan nyang maging malakas para hindi nya madumihan ang pangalan ng mga Von Amstel.

But I also think that Aius is a good King too. Hindi nalalayo ang katangian nya kay Fourth. I only heard it once, noong pinigilan nya si Tracer sa pagsugod kay L noon. He yelled and used his command tone. Na parang kahit sino ay mapapasunod nya kung gugustuhin nya lang.

And then something happened. That’s why he thought of himself as a weak King. That’s why him and Fourth swap their pieces.

“You knew about it, don’t you?” I asked L while caressing his bare chest. Tumingala ako sa kanya para makita ang mukha nya.

We were both naked under the sheets. Katatapos lang namin pag-isahin ang aming mga katawan. It was a wonderful feeling. Ganoon naman palagi ang nararamdaman ko kapag napapadikit ako kay L.

Nakaunan ako sa dibdib nya while his arms were encircled around my waist. Kung minsan ay nararamdaman ko ang panaka-naka nyang paghalik sa buhok ko and I just can’t help but to smile.

I feel loved.

“Yes.” L answered shortly.

“Did they tell it to you o nadiskubre mo lang?”

I felt him heaved a deep breath before he sighed. I pouted and planted a kiss on his chest. Nararamdaman ko na parang naghihirap sya.

Why, though? Does it have anything to do with Fourth and Aius?

“I am their tracker, Codee.” He said. “I know a lot about them since I am keeping their informations. Tracer doesn’t know about this. He was busy finding the murderer of his parents.”

I nodded. Gets ko sya. I am also the tracker of the Red Faction. I am also keeping my members informations and files pero hindi ko iyon binabasa. I thought that it’s too confidential kahit pa may pagkakataon akong basahin iyon. Isa pa, baka magalit pa ang Queen kapag binasa ko iyon nang walang permiso nya.

“And I was also there that day…” L continued. Napatingin ako sa kanya para kumpirmahin ang hinala ko. He nodded grimly. “But when I got there, it was already too late.”

I gulped. He was talking about the day when the girl died. The girl whom Aius loved. Dumating si L doon sa pinangyarihan noong araw na iyon pero hindi nya rin nailigtas ang babae. And I bet that a part of him is also blaming himself.

That’s what selfless people do, right? Kahit wala silang kasalanan, they will blame themselves if something bad happened. They are selfless that they are willing to take the blame.

“So I had to hack the system to delete the information about your Knight so you wouldn’t have any suspicion about Aius. Pero nasabi na pala nya sa Queen nyo.”

I sighed as I remember the day. That was the only time that he managed to break down the firewall that I built. I was confident na sapat na ang ginawa ko para protektahan ang files namin pero nagawa nya pa rin. He bypassed all the security and deleted the information about our Knight.

And that’s when I started to have an interest on him. Sya lang kasi ang nakagawa noon. At a very young age, I became a professional hacker. At habang patagal nang patagal ay mas nadadagdagan pa ang skills ko that some of the companies wanted to hire me para protektahan ang database nila.

But L was the only one who managed to defeat me. Kaya naging interesado ako sa kanya noon to the point that I wanted to meet him.

And I did. Minahal ko pa nga.

“You caught my attention that time.” pag amin ko. “Ikaw lang kasi ang nakapantay sa galing ko sa pangha-hack kaya sobra akong naging interasado sayo. Well, it make sense since you’re the EL Ordre’s tracker.”

“But I couldn’t use that skill to save someone. I disappointed the King. Now, he’s taking the blame for himself when I’m at fault too. Dahil nahuli ako ng dating.”

I sighed. I moved and crawled on top of him. Agad nyang ipinulupot ang mga braso nya sa bewang ko para suportahan ako. I cupped both of his cheeks and looked him straight in the eye.

“You both should stop blaming yourself. Wala sa inyo ang ginustong mangyari iyon. None of you had wanted that. It’s unfortunate that she died but you’re not at fault. Hindi ikaw ang pumatay sa kanya. Hindi kayo ang pumatay sa kanya. There are few thing that just happens even if you don’t want it. You can’t control everything. Stop blaming yourself and move on.”

He smiled which make the butterflies in my stomach to flutter. Shit, he looked so beautiful and tempting. I want him again inside me. Nag-iinit na naman ang katawan ko.

Shit lang! Nag-uusap pa kami!

And I’m sure that he noticed that. I noticed the desire in his eyes as he looked at me. He held the back of my head and pulled me to give me a lip-locking kiss.

“Look who’s talking.” he said nang pakawalan nya ang mga labi ko. “You should tell that to yourself, Codee. Don’t be too hard to yourself. You suffered enough already. You’re trying hard to correct your mistakes. And that is enough.”

I smiled and nodded. He sighed and gave me a gentle smile.

“Let’s move on and be a better version of our past selves. That’s the lesson that we should learn for our mistakes.”

I got impatient and kissed him to stopped him from talking. He laughed in between our kiss pero nilaliman naman ang paghalik nya sa akin. Inilagay nya ang kamay nya sa batok ko para hilahin ako palapit sa kanya. While his other hand was caressing my back. I could feel his rough and warm hand against my soft skin and it just makes me feel so hot.

His tongue were teasing me to open my mouth. And so I did. Nagtagpo ang mga dila namin at sabay kaming napaungol.

I could feel his already hard shaft poking my entrance. I reached for it and wrapped my hand around his hardness. He moaned and his kiss became more intense.

My hand pump him up and down. Naramdaman ko ang panggigigil nya sa mga labi ko. Kinakagat-kagat nya iyon at sinisipsip na ang dila ko. We were both in fire and lost with lust and desire and want for each other. Hindi ako makuntento at gusto pang mapalapit sa kanya.

So I guided his shaft inside me. Bumitaw ako sa halikan namin at hinabol nya pa talaga ang mga labi ko. But I sat on top of him. My core slowly swallowing him whole. We both moaned when he’s finally inside me.

I remained unmoving on top of him, feeling him inside me. It was such a great feeling. Our bodies as one and I think that I won’t get enough of this feeling.

I started moving and pump my hips up and down. His hands immediately held my waist and guided me on top of him. I stared at him, feeling satisfied that he looked like he’s enjoying this. Kaya mas binilisan ko pa ang galaw ko.

“Fuck, Codee!” he growled like a beast.

He sat up and put one of my nipple inside his mouth. I moaned and pulled his head more on my breast. Napasabunot ako sa buhok nya habang patuloy sa paggalaw sa kandungan nya.

“Oh, God…”

I grinded on his lap at ilang mura ang pinakawalan nya. He buried his face on my neck and sipped on my skin before he will lick it. Mabilis ang paghingang ginagawa ko. My body feels so hot at ganoon din ang kay L.

I could feel the familiar feeling inside of me. Malapit na ako. At base sa ungol at higpit ng kapit ni L sa bewang ko ay alam kong malapit na din sya. So I held on his shoulders for a support and pump on him up and down in a fast pace.

“Oh…”

“Codee…”

I could feel him getting bigger inside me. My insides were so full of him. My walls clenched around his hardness. Mas humigpit pa ang hawak ni L sa bewang ko at halos lumubog pa ang mga daliri nya doon. Then he guided me sa bilis na gusto nya.

A few more pumps and we both reached our peak. Mahigpit syang napayakap sa akin habang sabay kaming naghahabol ng hininga. He buried his face on my neck while trying to catch his breath.

I smiled and kissed his hair. Shit… I just love this man so much.

Chapter 50

This is the last chapter of Chess Pieces #3: Maximilian Elias. Thank you for supporting L and Codee’s’ story. Hope you’ll give support to Lucius story too entitled Chess Pieces #4: Lucius D’Angelo.

Next ud is the Epilogue.

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I sighed and closed my eyes in deep regret when I failed to get the information I wanted. Bumuntong hininga ulit ako bago idilat ko ang mga mata ko at tinignan sina Tracer and L. They shook their heads grimly.

For weeks, we joined forces trying to find their missing Rook. We already hacked every CCTV that we knew, lalo na iyong madalas na pinupuntahan ng Queen. But we didn’t see anything. We can’t still find Tracer’s brother.

Napatingin ako kay Tracer na nakatulala sa screen ng laptop nya. The look in his eyes everytime we bring him bad news is heartbreaking. Kapag nabibigo kami sa paghahanap sa kapatid nya ay hindi ko matignan ang mukha nya nang hindi rin ako nasasaktan.

It must be painful for him. Nasuyod na yata namin ang mga dapat suyurin pero hindi pa rin namin nakikita ang Rook nila. Magaling magtago ang Queen. Siniguro nyang hindi namin mahahanap ang kapatid ni Tracer through hacking.

Then it only means that the EL Ordre’s Rook is somewhere where there are no CCTVs and not internet accessible.

“We should make a list and narrow down those places.” sabi ni L nang minsang mapag-usapan ang naging konklusyon namin.

“But it won’t be easy. Maraming mga lugar ang mapapasama sa listahan.” it’s Kier.

“At least umuusad tayo, diba?” Archer said before he looked at Fourth. “Hindi pa rin ba nagsasalita ’yung Queen tungkol kay Shielder?”

“No.” Fourth answered. “She keeps on saying that Shielder is dead.”

Nakita kong kumuyom ang mga kamao ni Tracer sa galit. Feeling ko kapag kaharap nya ang Queen ay hindi na sya makakapagpigil talaga. Palagi kasing ganoon ang sinasagot ng Queen kapag tinatanong sya kung nasaan ang Rook ng EL Ordre.

Then the boys will all look at me. Parang humihingi sila ng assurance na nagsisinungaling lang sa kanila ang Queen at buhay pa talaga ang Rook nila.

“He’s still alive.” was my always answer kapag ganoon na ang tingin nila sa akin. Hindi ko nga lang talaga alam kung saan sya itinago ng Queen.

She won’t kill the Rook. He is too important in the game kaya alam kong hindi nya papatayin ang Rook.

I sighed. “Can I talk to her?” napatingin sila sa akin. “I’ll just take my chance. Who knows? Baka sabihin nya sa akin.”

Simula nang dalhin ang Queen dito sa second hideout ng mga EL Ordre ay hindi pa kami nakakapag-usap. The Queen is always inside the room that was for her. Hindi naman ako pumapasok doon dahil wala naman akong kailangan sa kanya.

“You can.” Aius said. “You don’t have to ask for our permission, actually.”

I smiled at him. The day when the EL Ordre found out the truth about their King, masasabi kong may mga nagbago. Hindi na itinatago ni Fourth ang mga pagsunod nya sa sinasabi ni Aius. And I’ve learned thay all of the plans were actually Auis’ idea. Then Fourth will rely the message to the members with additional manipulation and controlling manners.

He’s not a weak King kung ganoon.

And Tracer and Archer, lalo na si Archer. Parang naiilang na sya kay Aius ngayon. Kung pagsilbihan nya ay parang baldado si Aius na hindi na makagalaw mag-isa. He even offered him the lumpiang shanghai that his wife made. Hindi naman daw sya talaga namimigay noon lalo na kapag gawa ng asawa nya. Kay Aius lang.

I knocked on the door of the Queen’s room and went inside. Nakita ko syang prenteng nakaupo lang sa upuan sa may coffee table. Nakatingin sa bintana while sipping on her cup of tea.

“Alter!” nakangiti nyang bati sa akin habang ibinababa ang tasa ng tsaa nya. “Sit down.” she offered the chair in front of her.

“How are you, Your Majesty?” I asked nang makaupo na ako.

I stared at the Queen. She’s really beautiful. Her natural long blonde hair flowed elegantly down to her waist. It was wavy. Iyon ang pinakagusto ko sa kanya. Yung buhok nya. It looks so soft kasi. Unlike mine na kulot talaga. Kaya kahit na mahaba naman talaga ay nagmumukhang maiksi.

Then her cold eyes. She has an amber eyes and a pointy nose, a pouted reddish lips and a defined cheekbones. Her skin doesn’t have any flaws unlike mine na mayroong freckles sa mukha. Samantalang sya ay ang kinis-kinis ng balat. Even her face.

“I’m good, Alter. Thanks for asking.” she took a sip on her tea. “Are you here to let me escape?”

Umiling ako. She snorted. Parang inaasahan nya na ang sagot ko at natawa na lang sa sarili nya dahil nagtanong pa sya. Maya-maya ay malalamig na ang mga matang tumungin sya sa akin.

“Then you’re here in front of me as a traitor.” she spit the last word like a poison in her mouth.

“Tell me where you hid the Rook.” ang matapang kong sabi sa kanya bago pa ako maduwag.

“He is dead, Alter.” she rolled her eyes. “My goodness! How many times did I tell you that?! He is dead! The Rook is dead!”

“We both know that he isn’t.” ang kalmado komg sabi na salungat sa halos nagwawala nyang itsura.

She grunted. Marahas syang napabuga ng hangin.

“He will die soon, Alter. He will die before you can find him.”

“You used him as a subject for the rare drug. Things are going well according to your plan. But we should stop, Your Majesty.”

She looked at me, anger is in her eyes. Alam ko kung bakit sya nagagalit. Una, sinabihan ko lang naman sya kung anong dapat nyang gawin. She doesn’t take orders from anyone. Sanay syang sya ang palaging nag-uutos. Then, I told her to stop. At iyon ang pinakaayaw nya.

“Who do you think you are to tell me that?” she hissed. “You are a traitor, Alter! Do you really think that I’ll do what you say?”

I sighed. Galit na galit sya pero kalmado lang ako. She has her reasons why she’s doing these things. Pero kahit ano pang rason nya. I don’t think that it’s right to hurt people for whatever’s reason.

Muli akong tumitig sa kanya. Once upon a time, I used to admire the Queen. She was brave, independent and strong. But then, she became an evil Queen and started to hurt people.

“I will never forget the day when you first approached me, Your Majesty.” I started telling her. “I was young and lost. I don’t know who I really am. I don’t know anything about my father. Ang dami kong tanong tungkol sa pagkatao ko na hindi masagot ni Papa. It was suffocating. Sa murang edad, nalaman ko ang pakiramdam ng nalulunod. I was shouting for help. And then you came.”

Sa murang edad, ang dami kong tanong sa sarili ko. I was at the age when I was curious about my parents. Naghahanap ako ng sagot pero walang maibigay na sagot si Papa. Nakakatakot ang mga panahon na wala akong alam tungkol kay Papa. Ang dami-dami kong tanong. And then the Queen came and answered all my questions.

“I was thankful, Your Majesty. Feeling ko, nabuo ang pagkatao ko dahil sayo. You answered all my questions. Sinagip mo ako sa pagkakalunod. Kaya nakahanda akong gawin ang kahit na anong gusto mo noon. I was really happy while doing the things that you want. Dahil nakakabawi ako sa pagsagip mo sa akin.” I smiled sadly. “But, Your Majesty, I don’t feel like a human anymore. Everytime I’m following your orders, wala akong kaalam-alam that I am slowly becoming inhuman.”

“You’re telling me that I’m turning you into a monster?” hindi makapaniwala nyang tanong.

Umiling ako. “No, Your Majesty. It was my choice to obey you. I am turning myself as a monster by following your orders. And I want to stop. I want to be human again.”

“By betraying me?”

“By doing the right thing.” lumunok ako nang maramdaman ang paninikip ng dibdib ko. “I want to pay for what I did to EL Ordre. Especially to the person I deeply hurt. I want to help him find his brother.”

She laughed. Pinanood ko syang tumawa lang. Sa tagal kong nakasama ang Queen, nakilala ko na rin sya. She was hiding her real feelings by her laugher. But those eyes, she’s hurting. Nasasaktan sya sa pagtatraydor ko sa kanya.

She smirked. “Do you think that because we’ve been together, I will tell you where he is? No, Alter. You will never find him alive.”

I heaved a deep breath. “We will, Your Majesty. Mahahanap namin sya. Tracer and L will help me.”

“You are choosing EL Ordre.” sabi nyang napagtanto ang lahat.

Unti-unting napalitan ng pagkamuhi ang tingin nya sa akin.

“Get out.”

“Your Majes—”

“Do not call me ‘Your Majesty’! I hate traitors like you! You’re a despicable rat!”

I pursed my lips. Nanginig ang mga labi ko nang magsalita ako ulit. “Hindi pa huli ang lahat. You can still be a human.”

“Get out!” tumayo sya at itinuro ang pinto. “I don’t want to see you again. Get out!”

Huminga ako ng malalim. Tinitigan ko sya sa huling pagkakataon bago yumukod sa kanya.

“Take care, Ate Eresh.”

Maluha-luha ako nang tumalikod at naglakad papunta sa pinto. Ate Eresh. That’s how I called her before. I remember those time when she will watch me studying about hacking. Kahit magkamali ako, hahaplusin nya ang buhok ko and she will tell me that I did a good job. At tuwang-tuwa naman ako.

She was a real sister to me.

Nakaabang si L sa paglabas ko ng pintuan. Hindi pa man sya nagsasalita ay malungkot na akong umiling.

“I failed.” my voice broke. “I’m sorry.”

He sighed and pulled me for a hug. He caressed my hair gently kaya tuluyan na akong iyak.

“It’s okay. You did great, Codee. It’s okay.”

Napahagulgol ako habang nasa loob ng mga bisig nya. He hugged me so tight and he gave me enough comfort. Kumalma ang puso ko.

I looked at him. Pinunasan nya ang mga luha sa pisngi ko.

“I want to see my father.”

L drove me to where my father is. Doon sa bahay namin. It felt so long simula ng huli akong nakatapak doon. At napakaraming nangyari ng mga panahong nawala ako.

I want to say my goodbye to my father. Hindi panghabang-buhay. Pero alam kong matatagalan ang paghahanap namin sa Rook ng EL Ordre.

Gusto kong tulungan sila. And by doing that, I have to be away from my father. I need to focus on finding the Rook para mapabilis ang paghahanap namin.

“Codee, you are back!” my father greeted me.

Nagulat sya nang pumasok ako sa office nya na nandito sa bahay namin. Mabuti na lang at nandito sya ngayon. I want to take a look at the house dahil alam kong matagal bago ko ulit makikita iyon.

“My daughter…”

I hugged my father tight. Si Papa na tumayong ina at ama ko kahit na hindi nya ako totoong anak. Pero hindi ako nakuntento at naghanap ng kasagutan sa pagkato ko. And by doing that, I did so many mistakes

“I missed you. Mabuti at nakabalik ka na. Did you have fun with Mr. L?”

Ngumiti ako at tumango sa kanya. “He’s fun to be with, Papa.”

Napangiti sya. “I know. Every moment with the person you love is fun. Especially if he loves you back.”

“He loves me, Papa. So much.”

“I can see that.”

I looked at him. Malaki ang ngiti nya sa akin. I took a deep breath and decided to tell him what I wanted to say.

“I… have to be away. Pa.” nakita kong kumunot ang noo nya. “I need to do something.”

“What something? Kababalik mo lang, ah? Aalis ka na naman?”

Napayuko ako at pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko sa kamay. “I found out everything about my real father. About his job. And I need to finish it, Pa.”

“What? How? Kailan pa? And what job are you talking about?”

I looked at him again. Litong-lito sya. I wanted to tell him everything but it’ll be dangerous. The less he know, the more he will be safe.

“I can’t tell you, Pa. But I will be safe. I just… need to do this para matapos na ang lahat.”

Nakita ko ang pag-aalangan sa mukha nya. “Codee, hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sayo. You are my daughter but I don’t have any idea. Kailan mo pa nalaman ang tungkol sa Papa mo?”

I took his hands. Hinawakan ko iyon ng mahigpit at ngumiti sa kanya. “Kapag bumalik po ako at natapos ko ang dapat kong gawin, sasabihin ko ang lahat sa inyo.”

“Can’t you tell it to me now? At kailangan ba talagang gawin mo iyon?”

I nodded. “Yes, Pa. I need to do this. This is about me. I want this to end.”

My father stared at me. Tinitigan ko din sya sa mga mata. I want him to know that I will be strong enough to do this on my own. Na sa wakas, may isang bagay na akong gagawin dahil gusto ko. Nang hindi sinusunod ang utos ng kung sino.

This is about me.

“Will you really be okay?” tanong nyang may pag-aalangan pa din.

I nodded. “I will be, Pa. I can take care of myself.”

“Do you really need to do this?”

“I have to. So I can live freely. Para mabuhay ako ng masaya at walang bigat sa dibdib, Pa. Ang hirap po kasi. And I don’t want that feeling. So I have to do this.”

My father sighed. Ilang sandali syang nag-isip bago ulit tumingin sa akin.

“Babalik ka naman sa akin, diba? Even if you already know about your real father, will you come back here?”

I smiled. “Of course, Pa. I am your daughter. Babalik talaga ako dito.”

Napangiti na si Papa dahil sa sinabi ko. I realized that he was afraid. Na dahil nakilala ko ang totoo kong ama ay iiwan ko na sya. But I won’t. For me, he will always be the best father.

Niyakap ako ni Papa. I hugged him back.

“You’ve grown beautiful, Codee. I’m so proud of you.”

Nang lumabas ako ng bahay ay nakita kong nakasandal si L sa hood ng kotse nya habang hinihintay ako. He stood up straight when he saw me. Lumapit ako sa kanya nang may ngiti sa mga labi.

“How did it go?” he asked. Yumakap ako sa bewang nya at isinandal ang ulo ko sa dibdib nya.

“It good. My father is very understanding.”

Hindi sya nagsalita at hinaplos ang buhok ko. I closed my eyes and feel his warmth against my body.

I realized how much my life had change ever since L came into my life. He taught me everything. He made me realized my mistakes. I wonder how I will become if he didn’t came into my life.

It was scary. Na ang dami ko pa lang kasalanan nang hindi ko alam. Na ang dami kong nasaktan nang hindi ko alam. I am slowly turning into a monster. But L came and pulled me back on being a human again.

He saved me without realizing it. Kahit na tahimik sya, naging maingay ang mundo ko nang dumating sya. He made my heart beats so loud.

He came into my life at the right time. He made me realized everything before I lose myself.

And I’m so thankful that he’s willing to accept me despite what I did. Kahit na ang dami kong kasalanan, he still chose to love me and stay with me.

And I will do everything to be worthy of his love.

I looked at him. Nakita ko agad ang mga mata nyang nakatingin sa akin na punong-puno ng pagmamahal.

“I will find the Rook, L. I will bring him back. I promise.”

He gave me a quick kiss before he smiled. “I know. I believe in you.”

I know that I can do it. I can find the Rook. Ano pang silbi ng pagiging isang magaling kong hacker kung hindi ko sya mahahanap?

Everyone made mistakes. Everyone made decisions in their life that they regret. But mistakes don’t define a person. It is there to guide us into the right way when we took a wrong turn. You just have to accept and learn from it.

Hindi tumitigil ang buhay dahil lang sa pagkakamali.

And L made me realized that. That I shouldn’t be a coward and accept my mistake. That I should move on and don’t dwell on the past. That I should correct the wrong things I did and be a better person.

I realized that my life is so bitter before L. No amount of lollipop is enough to make it taste different.

But then L came. And he turned my life into something more beautiful.

More beautiful and sweeter than my favorite lollipop brand.

Epilogue

My father is a very strict person. Especially when it comes on teaching me things that I needed to know. A day wouldn’t passed without me gaining new knowledge. He made sure that I will be a professional hacker at a young age.

He told me everything about the Bloody Human Chess game. He never made it a secret to me. At first, I didn’t understand the danger that I’m in. I even got excited that I’m in a game. I thought that it would be fun but I am definitely wrong.

I couldn’t remember when it was started. Basta namulat na lang ako na tinuturuan ako ni Dad about computers. The complicated codes and everything. And he also trained me how to use a gun and some martial arts to defend myself.

He would starve me if I couldn’t decipher the code that he created. He wouldn’t allow me to go out of the room if I couldn’t break the firewall that he built. He will never let me play if I couldn’t beat him when we’re sparring. He will scold me if I miss the target when we do target shooting. That’s how strict my father is.

But my Mom is the opposite. She will sneak into my room to give me cookies that she baked so I wouldn’t starve. She will stay inside the room with me for an hour so I wouldn’t feel alone. She will let me take a break from training and will play with me secretly. And at night, tatabi syang matulog sa akin at kakantahan ako until I fall asleep.

I wouldn’t say that I didn’t enjoy my childhood. Iba ang mga naranasan ko kumpara sa ibang mga bata. But that’s the reason why I enjoyed it. I don’t know. Maybe it’s in the blood that I find these things interesting.

I never hated my father. Dahil nandyan si Mom para ipaliwanag sa akin kung bakit ginagawa iyon ni Dad. She knew everything about him afterall.

And I thanked my Dad that he trained me so well kaya malaki ang naitulong ko sa grupo ko.

I thought that my skills were enough to defeat the Red Faction, our enemy in the human game of chess. Ang akala ko ay hindi ako matatalo ng tracker nila. Why? I got the skills. We never once failed on the mission since I was the best at guiding my team. I could break all the firewalls and decipher all the secret codes. Kahit ano o sino pa ay kayang-kaya kong hanapin with my hacking skills.

Not until I’ve encountered the Red Faction’s tracker. I even thought that he’s a guy at first. Pero maling-mali ako sa bagay na iyon.

“I’m sorry, Tracer. I thought that the firewall that I built was enough to guard our database. Their tracker is really good.” I said to him when I heard the news about about his parents.

Sinisisi ko ang sarili ko dahil sa kakulangan ng kakayahan ko. I thought what I had is enough to protect my team but the Red Faction’s tracker prove me wrong. Na kulang pa pala ang kakayahan ko at kailangan ko pang dagdagan ang mga nalalaman ko about computers and codes.

This is what my father is always telling me. That there is no room for a mistake in this game. One wrong move could be fatal for the team. Maaaring mawala ang lahat sa isang maling galaw lang.

Just like in the game of chess. The player must think thoroughly about his next move. Kung walang plano at basta na lang gagalaw ay siguradong matatalo lang sa laro.

“It’s okay, man. I know that their tracker is really good.” Tracer said and that made me feel worse.

Tracer didn’t blame us for what happened to his parents. Na kung iisipin ay may kasalanan din talaga ako. I failed at being their tracker. I failed at guarding our database that’s why the Red Faction’s tracker easily broke the firewall and got the information about the former Rooks of EL Ordre.

Naiintindihan ko kung bakit ang mga Sanford ang pinuntirya nila. They were the Rook and the Rook serves as a wall of the castle in the game of chess. They were the protector of the team. You wouldn’t get inside the castle nang hindi sila haharapin.

Tracer blamed only himself for what happened. Wala syang sinisi sa mga nangyari kundi ang sarili nya lang. So I promised to myself that I will give him a hand on finding the killer of his parents.

“My first suspect is her.” I said and took out the picture with the information of a woman.

“She’s the daughter of the business tycoon, right?” Viper asked while staring hard at the picture.

I didn’t say anything and stared at the woman in the photo. She looks so innocent. With her shoulder-length curly and copper-colored hair, it made her look like a doll. And the freckles on her face… I never thought that a freckles would make a woman looked so beautiful.

“Looks can be deceiving.” Fourth said to which I immediately agreed. The woman looked so innocent. But who knows?

You can never judge a book by its cover.

“What makes you think that she’s the killer?” Fourth asked.

I lazily shrugged my shoulders and stared at the picture. The woman has a bright smile on her face while looking at the camera. Hindi ko alam kung bakit may parte sa akin ang nainggit sa kung sino man ang kumukuha ng litratong iyon sa kanya kaya sya may ganoong kalawak at kagandang ngiti sa mga labi.

“Just a hunch.” I answered.

I have no idea but I got the feeling that something isn’t right with her. She’s squeky clean. Her background doesn’t have a flaws in it and that’s the most suspicious thing.

Lahat ng tao ay may itinatagong mga baho nila. Things that they didn’t want other people to know. But I have the ability to find out about that secret with my skills. Pero sa babaeng ito, wala akong mahanap. Even though my computer is telling me that she’s a part of the game.

So I did what I think I had to do. I went undercover. I asked Helios Gallagher, my former boss, to put a good word for me to Mr. Vasco, the woman’s father. Good thing that my former boss and him were both in the business world. Madali lang nyang napaniwala si Mr. Vasco na magaling nga akong bodyguard.

And then few days later, I received his call. Asking a favor if I can be a bodyguard for his daughter. Dahil marami daw ang nagtatangka sa buhay nya at baka madamay pa ang anak nya.

Oh, old man… You are definitely wrong. Baka ikaw pa ang madamay sa mga ginagawa ng adopted daughter mo.

The first time that I saw her, was when she went out of the convenience store while unwrapping her lollipop. She looked excited like a child habang tinatanggal ang balat ng candy. And one wouldn’t suspect her into doing some horrible things just by looking at her.

Sinadya kong bungguin sya nang araw na iyon. I don’t know. To catch her attention? She’s too focused on her lollipop that she failed to notice me approaching her kaya hindi sya nakailag nang bungguin ko sya sa balikat nya.

“Ang lollipop ko!”

Nakita ko ang inis sa maganda nyang mukha nang mahulog ang lollipop nya. She got so pissed that she started throwing punches at me. She’s not that good compared to me but she definitely had a training for this. And that just confirmed my hunch.

Why would her father hired a bodyguard for her if she can protect herself? The answer that I’ve got is probably, her adoptive father didn’t know everything about her.

“I will seduce my bodyguard.”

A chuckle had escaped from my throat when I heard her talking to her friend, Yucca. It was after that time nang akmang hahalikan ko sya pero hindi ko tinuloy. And now she’s calling her friend to ask for the tip on how to seduce a man. I guess that she got frustrated to what I did, huh?

The feeling is just mutual. God knows how much I restrained myself just to not ravished her lips that day.

“Then try eating hotdog next time. Take your time. Eat it slowly. Play with it. Stare at it.  And while chewing, make eye contact with him and look at him in a seductive way. For sure, mababaliw sya sayo.”

I frowned. What in the damnation is she saying? I don’t think that it will work on me. I’m not fond of hotdogs. Lollipop will do.

But something is off about that girl named Yucca. Her voice… I heard it before.

Fourth must know about this.

The first time I tasted her lips, I couldn’t get enough of the feeling. She was eating lollipop that time so the taste was still on her lips. And fuck myself, I just want to kiss her lips forever. It was so frustratedly sweet.

Then I got addicted. The next thing I knew, I was already falling inlove with her.

It was wrong. The fuck with myself for falling inlove with an enemy. But I couldn’t help it. Kahit na alam kong marami syang nagawang hindi tama, I got the chance to know the real her. Nakilala ko sya at hindi ko napigilan ang mahulog sa kanya.

“You should eat first, Codee.” I told her but I doubt if she even heard me.

I sighed. For the past weeks, she’s been like this. Working nonstop just to find Shielder. Hindi nya na nga binibitiwan ang laptop nya. She’s not giving up. Kahit ilang beses syang nabigo sa paghahanap, she will go back from the start until she find another lead.

Alam ko naman na hanggang ngayon ay sinisisi nya pa rin ang sarili nya sa mga nangyari. Even if I told her so many times that she’s just a human bound to make a mistake, she just wouldn’t accept it. She is determined to correct all the wrong things that she did.

And I just can’t help but to fall inlove more with this strong woman. Not all people have the courage to accept and correct what they did. Kaya para sa akin, malakas syang babae.

“Later, L. I think I’m so close on finding him.”

I sat beside her and looked at what she’s doing. The screen shows a bunch of number and codes that a normal people wouldn’t even take a look for more that three seconds. Pero naiintindihan ko ang ginagawa nya. She’s looking for the coordinates.

“But you still haven’t eaten your lunch yet. It’s past one in the afternoon, Codee.” I said and rest my chin on her shoulder. Pero hindi man lang nya ako tinignan.

“Mamaya na. Kapag umalis ako dito, mawawala ang momentum ko.” she said without taking her eyes off the computer.

I heave a sigh. I fully understand her kaya hindi ko na sya ulit pinilit pa. So I choose to feed her instead. Hindi makakabuti sa kanya kung walang laman ang tyan nya. I know that she’s hungry. Hindi nya lang maramdaman dahil busy sya.

I smiled when she opened her mouth nang subuan ko sya ng pagkain. She looked so adorable while chewing on her food. God… How can this woman make me fall harder with her everyday?

I don’t really like moving around or talking if it’s not about something important. I feel like I will just waste my energy with those trivial things. Pero kay Codee, pakiramdam ko ay hindi ako mapapagod sa kanya. I am willing to do everything for her. Kahit na ang pinaka nakakapagod na bagay ay handa akong gawin para sa kanya.

I am right. She’s like a complicated code in my life that I wouldn’t be able to decipher.

Bigla syang lumingon sa akin na may nanlalaki ang mga mata. Her reddish lips parted while staring at me. I bet she’s not even breathing properly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I looked at the computer and saw a map with a red dot on the screen together with the coordinates. I looked at Codee again.

“I got it…” she whispered. “I found him.”

We didn’t waste any time and got out of the room. Codee looked so excited and thrilled that she finally found what we’ve been looking for after weeks of finding Shielder without sleeping and eating properly.

“Good job, sweetheart.” I said and hugged her tight. “I’m so proud of you.”

I heard her sobbed before she hugged me back.

“Thank you, L.”

I knew it. She’s a better tracker than me.

Bumaba kami para sabihin sa lahat, especially to Tracer, ang balita. They were all in the living room but I saw three more familiar faces with them.

The EL Ordre’s Queen is here. Together with her Bishop and Knight.

“Oh my… I never thought that I would see you here.” I heard the Queen of the Red Faction said. I encircled my arms on Codee’s small waist while looking at the scene in front of us.

“Shut it, Eresh.” our Queen hissed and I noticed how Aius smirked at her. But he didn’t say anything and just looked at the two Queens.

The Red Faction’s Queen sighed. “Well, I can understand. This is your team and I’m the trespasser her.” she smiled sweetly. “But aren’t you happy to see me? This is such a wonderful reunion for the both of us don’t you think?”

Our Queen just rolled her eyes that made the Red Faction’s Queen laughed. I frowned while looking at them.

Sometimes, no… Most of the times I don’t understand women. They will talk like they’re close friends pero nagbabangayan na pala.

“Who is she?” I heard Codee asked. I kissed her on her temple and pulled her body against mine.

“Our Queen.” I said and I heard her gasped.

“My King, why is she still here?” I heard our Queen asked Aius but he just shrugged his shoulders and pointed at Fourth.

“Tanong mo sa kanya.”

“Why, my dear sister?” the Red Faction’s Queen asked “Ayaw mong makita ako?”

Nakita ko ang pagkabigla sa mga mukha nila Tracer. Archer, and Kier, even Codee, because of what she had said. I sighed. Things will get out of hand starting today.

The endgame is near.

“Wow…” our Queen sarcastically said. “You’re only calling me as your sister when it’s convenient for you, huh?”

The Red Faction’s Queen smiled. She stood up and walked towards our Queen with a sweet smile on her face.

“Of course, Ishtar…” she said.

She touched the end of Queen Ishtar’s blonde curly hair that is now dyed in brown. She put her mouth against her ears and whispered.

“Or should I call you like the name that you introduce to your friends?”

“Don’t you dare involved innocent people again, Eresh!” Queen Ishtar spat at her. Queen Eresh just chuckled and kissed her sister on the cheeks before she distance herself.

And with a smile, she spoke.

“As you wish, Aaliyah.”